47 20 5655 https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/e1d502851baaad9a2e39e938c548d652.pdf a430fc5ddeb4cb48de275295d2d9339a PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY l l l l l l l l l~ ~ ~ ~ [l l fl [~[l il l l l l l l l l I9601B E GADFLY The St. John's College Student Week[y Volume XXVI, Issue 25 Annapolis, Maryland May3, 2005 My Last Attempt to Change the Program Antigone a by Nick Colten Staff Writer by Max Socol Staff Writer The first reason is that his work has largely been undermined and discarded by subsequent psychologists. This of course is not an immediate cause for dismissal from the Program-we read Aristotle's Plysia, after all-but since we do not read First off, I would like to thank Jerry Salyer and Max Kronberg for their responses to my moSt recent Gadf!y article; each, in his way, expressed thoughtful objections to my treatment of Christianity. My initial plan was to write a response to both men in which I would clarify and further substantiate my complaints; instead of more talk about politics and religion-subjects of unfortunately limited interest-! think it would be better to write something touching on the Program-or at least on one of its authors. It has been my re- ©www.lataviatovarich.splinder.com cent displeasure to spend some of my precious remaining time any more psychology after Freud, we end at the college reading and discussing Freud. I with his account. It's analogous to ending am at something of a loss to understand why our astronomical studies with Ptolemy. To it is that this guy is part of the Program. do the latter would be rather strange, so I can think of a number of reasons for why do we do so with Freud? his inclusion: Freud has clearly read many of Perhaps there are tutors who think the same books that we have and his work is Freud's account of the psyche is largely a continuation of some of their thoughts; correct: if so, I'm unaware who these tuhe has novel things of his own to say; he's tors are. Maybe it is a problem of there been very influential; he's been on the list being no Great Book refuting Freud, since 1937 (though I'm unsure whether he's though whether Freud's ltiterpretation of been on it continuously); and also, he's the Dreams is itself a Great Book or whether closest thing that Senior Year has to the bodily its psychological accounts can actually be humor of ..Aristophanes, Rabelais and Swift. refuted is questionable. In each case, my That being said, there are many reasons for skepticism arises both from the nature of not having him-or at least the works we read-on The Program. Change continued on page 11 Success This past weekend the King William Players made their return after the smash success of A Man for All Seasons. While one might hesitate to say Antigone reached the former's incredible intensity, it certainly proved to be a solid, and at times unusual, show. The cast decided to have a question~ and-answer session following the Friday night performance, an event I think ought to have been mandatory, and executed before the performance itself. The Q&A's existence, though, says a great deal about the cast's understanding of the show. Director Lia Boyle fielded many of these questions with an impressive sincerity, especially relating to her aesthetic decisions for the chorus: Boyle chose to dress all members of the chorus alike, in white masks, and to have them often speak simultaneously. She also completely eliminated the Choragos position. On stage, the effect was at times unnerving. While the dress was meant to emphasize the unity of the chorus, and to downplay the fact that there were so many of them compared to the rest of the cast, Boyle's decision here seemed nonetheless somewhat self-defeating. Traditionally, at least, the chorus was meant to represent the elders of Thebes, in both their homogeneity, and their acute difference from the major players - an entity to which audience members might more closely relate, at least at times, and somewhat opposed to the high drama and (occasionally gratuitous) shouting on the part of the independent cast. Antigone continued on page 9 �THE ~GADFLY . Valles Bashin Editors-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Shoshana Goldstein Photographer Clark Saylor B usiness Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Margot Behrend NickColten Daniel Harrell Willis McCumber John Peterson Je.ay Salyer Max Socol Laura Traina Founded in 1980, the Godj!J is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Godf!J staff. T he Godf!J reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Godj!J is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadl.ine: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly wcitten, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 D ear Gad fly, H ere's a discussion that Lindsey Barnes (Valles's best friend) and I (his girlfriend) had about Valles's mo st recent "Stop Taking Yourself so F-ing Seriously" ar ticle: MB: Lindsey, did you read Valles' article this week?! LB: Yeah ... At best I think it might be describ ed as flippant. MB: It's so much worse than that! I d on't think there's even a word for how ... more-than-flipp ant it i s. I'm almo s t ashamed to be dating him. How can yo u write that way about a tutor? LB: Wh en you have no respect for authority and a cultured penchant for being an a**hole. But seriou sly, dating him can't be that bad. I have to listen to him in semi11ar. MB: Well, I bet that in seminar he sound s like he's actually read the t ext. In last week's article it sounded like he had hardly even looked at Mr. Harrell's articles. LB: O h, let's give him the benefit of the doubt. From the column it's clear that h e's actually read the titles of Mr. HarreU's articles, perhaps even the sub titles too. MB: T hat's true, but even if he read the entire articles, It still seem s entirely inappropriate t hat h e would only attack Mr. H arrell as a human being and n otrespond direc tly to hi s ideas-even w hen h e attacks Colten h e tends to focus o n Colten's th eories and not on Colten the person. LB: Yeah, and look at this line, "Euclid scrotum circles." What up with that? MB: It wo uldn 't b e so b ad if there w eren't a bunch of "f*ck"s in the near vicinity. Becau se of all the swearing, that line sounds even worse. But he does redeem him sel f with the comment about Reiner, yes? LB: It was an accurate metaphor. Apt, you might say. However, m y theory is that if yo u're writing an article or a column and trying to co nvince peo ple that you're right, you shouldn't try to sound like a petulant child or an arrogant f*ck. It doesn't help your point. :tviB: Exactly. If yo u're tr ying to help someo n e out, as Va lles said h e was"Someone needs to acknowledge and tell M r . H arrell how fantastically bad his article is"-you would want to write in a way th a t would mak e someo ne want to read your article. Instead of feeling interested in what he had to say, I just felt dirty- and I wan ted to wash m y mouth out with soap and water through a feeling of commo n humanity. LB: Hey, we should write this down and submi t i t to th e Gadfly . But we sho uld do it soo n, con sidering we are in his room talking abou t this and would h ave to use his compu ter, and he is tap ping that box of mints with some an noyance. MB: Have we said everything we meant to say? I think so. I hope Valles doesn' t take thi s too h ard. It would suck if he weren 't able to sleep in the bed he makes for him self. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sincerely, Margot Behrend Scenefrom behindthe dining hall courtesy of Gina Lee Last Chance to Pass this Year Freshmen: The final algebra exam of the season will be given on Wednesday, May 4, at 7:30p.m., in Mellon 206 (and/or 208). Why not take advantage of the opportunity not to have to go through this next semester? �it ! It's Time to Go, Pedro by Willis McCumber Staff Writer Croquet weekend, on the surface, is about the common ground of sport, alcohol, and leisure. 1bis past Sunday, the diversion of the games, the social catalyst of drink, and the temperate pleasure of dressing up, united nicely in this respect. TheNavalAcademy and St. John's might seem at first as diametrically opposed as Athens and Sparta; still, the two schools, along with their concomitant visiting family and alumni, were equally well disposed towards the day's diversions. Despite an intermittent drizzle, the fact that we lost, and a weak performance of the Anthem by the Freshman Choir (based on their innovative "tone cluster'' technique), a pretty good time was had by all. Notwithstanding such easy common ground, basic differences in temperament between the two schools were also strikingly evident. \XIhen we won one match, our players lighdy ran around the court, arms spread, tip~ ping from side to side. When they won the final game, their fans crowded together in the center of the court, flinging alcohol and chant~ ing "USA! USA! USA!" They seem to have the patriotic imperative on their side. Sunday was the rain date and there was no dance to look forward to, since it had been held on schedule the previous night. 'Ibis fact and the chilly, drizzling skies dispersed the crowd in short order. We retreated to lick our alcohol~soaked wounds, they to smirk to them~ selves. 'Ibis was in contrast to the exuberant begin~ ning of the day. Following the .\nthem, the talented singers of St. John's gave our modi~ fied rendition of the hallowed Navy hymn, sporting such lines as "we are the Danaans to your Troy." We seemed to have the upper~ hand in terms of clever inside jokes Oooking over towards the Alumni tent, the over~edu­ cated partygoer could decipher a banner reading "beat Navy" inil.ncient Greek). Our opponents, dressed in white lettersweaters with a large, embroidered "N" on the front, trotted down the steps of the Barr Buchanan Center to Queen's ''Under Pressure" (the choice of our DJ). Then our team emerged wearing white Tshirts with "VOTE FOR The position of accompanist for Freshman Chorus is open for the 2005-2006 academic year. Anyone interested 1n filling this post should contact Mr. May at X6906 or by e-mail: thomas.may@sjca.edu PEDRO" on the front, a reference to the movie Napoleon Dynamite. These uniforms were filled out by tight short shorts. To make a sweeping generalization, they got belligerent drunk while we got loser drunk. On the court, though, we drank beer and they bottled water, so in this respect they didn't get drunk at all. One commentator at the match said "I've been studying sports for over 40 years, and in my experience, if one team drinks and the other does not, the one that drinks always loses." There is wisdom in this observation. Off the court, however, some Navy-associated onlookers did get belligerent drunk, and despite the efforts of freshman Felecia Enright, managed to annoy senior Matt Gates enough so d1at he challenged them, while sitting atop someone's shoulders, to a chicken fight. In response to their "let's go Navy, let's go" some of us briefly shouted "let's go Pedro, let's go." Gym Shoe Clearance All shoes left in the gym entry way shelves after graduation will be recycled. Please remove all shoes by no later than MAY 15th. . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Senior Orals Part Six by Daniel Harrell Tutor Among the most perplexing moments in Genesis is one that immediately follows Adam and Eve's original act of disobedience. Beforehand we are offered two characterizations of this moment. The one given by God to Adam involves man's mortality: Adam will surely die. But the other, given by the serpent to Eve, involves man's divinity: Eve (and presumably Adam) will become like gods, eyes opened and knowledge gained of good and evil. Both accounts seem somehow reflected in what follows, although the consequence is identified explicitly by neither prior account. For the eyes of Adam and Eve are indeed opened; yet what they see for the very first time is their nakedness, a sight they immediately want hidden from themselves (3:7). And in light of this nakedness they next see God, from whom they want to be hidden in turn. (3:8-11). But just what is it, then, that Adam and Eve see when they open their eyes? Why couldn't they see it before? And in seeing it now, why do they want the view banished from sight? \Vhat does it mean, exactly, to experience ourselves as not simply embodied but also, in some sense, exposed? The suggestion I made last week invites us to consider our nakedness a predicament of our comportment towards the world, our inherent uprightness, which I construed in turn as our way of being mindfully open rather than closed towards everything else there is. We are not only alive, but awake, alert, and aware. And in this receptivity tootherness we are thereby related to everything else there is. Still, in being substantial, we are closed rather than open to what lies outside us: we have an exterior-following biblical terms again we might characterize this as our flesh, or in more elementary and abstract Euclidean terms 4 call it our boundary. This exterior rounds us off, closes us up, and separates us bodily from what lies outside us. It is this, then, that our upright and mindful selves continually negate but never erase. Our naked side, in this sense, is that side we necessarily leave behind us whenever we have anything before us. But we always have something before us; this is what it means to be wakeful and conscious, after all. So our uprightness leaves a kind of nakedness in its wake. What is naked in us is what remains of us actually in and potentially for the world at the very moment the world has become something for us. The geometric abstraction of our uprightness underlines this fact. In being perpendicular, each of us is elevated to one point of contact with everything else-the point at which the world belongs to me, so to speak. But this leaves each of us grounded at another point of contact directly underneath, hidden by the first-this is the point at which I belong to the world. Once anything in the world is revealed to me, I am necessarily-but blindly-exposed to it. Until of course-but how?-1 have become self-aware on top of-or is it below?-being merely aware. So seems to go the story here in Genesis, where the eyes of Adam and Eve are opened not to anything other, but rather, for the very first time, to what is the same, and in their newfound awareness of it remains the same. Something has now been put in front of them without it being thereby put at any distance from them. They now have an object of awareness that stays contained within the very exteriority that all awareness overcomes. They have the very exteriority they cannot see somehow in front of them for the very first time. They sense themselves stut'k in themselves-somewhere on the ground, exposed to everything else. In short and sum: naked. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . But how? How do they see now what in seeing at all, they cannot see period? Tellingly enough, by seeing someone else looking right back at them, exercising the same power that elevates them to a point at which the world is theirs, yet here, in this power being directed at them rather arising from them, thereby reducing them-and knowingly-to something closer to their actual size and actual place in the world. They now know-and fearthe gaze of another upon them, whether this be Adam's gaze upon Eve and Eve's upon Adam in turn; or, later, the Lord's upon them both. They know, then, what it is they will never see and can never make theirs-which is how they are seen by others. They now know themselves as the potential object of an awareness they will never possess, in being an awareness of them that will belong-always-to someone else; which makes of them in turn, and in existing at all, something that can always be carried beyond even the world as it might be made theirs, in its entirety, in awareness. They inevitably signify more than they can ever comprehend, which renders them ambiguous in any comprehension of the world they have that includes themselves. Their picture of the world, that is, can only be expanded to include themselves-the originators of it-as actual inhabitants of it, by leaving them isolated in it, only half-contained and -integrated, in no settled place or time. And this is what they see when their eyes are opened in a way that now includes themselves in their view. They now inhabit the very world that is theirs in awarenessnaked. Unsurprisingly, their first instinct, upon seeing themselves bereft, is to banish themselves from sight-that is, to remove themselves as much as possible from any view of the world that might include them. But since their own view of the world now includes them, this would mean trying to banish themselves from themselves, and upon learning they are stuck in themselves. One might say they are impossibly trying to abandon an upright posture they are forever burdened with. Fig-leaves first, animal-skins next, and clothing in general, Senior Orals continuned on page 9 �The Most Tragical History of Disney, Prince of Epcot by Jerry Salyer, Staff Writer (lf7ah DisM)I sits at desk in "''lY rfjice, pemsing ropy rf Necronomimll-;xcasionally stopping to doodle pi«Jful cartoon-illustrations in the mar;gjns. He looks up.) Disney (benignly, to audience): Why hello, boysand-girls-Df-all-ages. It sure is swell of you to pay Uncle Walta visit. Today I'm interviewing potential "W'titer-employees for my conquest of the- urn, heh, er ... doldrum& Let's say hi to our first jobapplicant, from across 1he Pond: Ml:AldousHuxley. (Huxlry mtetr, nervousfy looks around, then sit.r in chair across jvm Disney.) Disney: NO\V, i\ldous, I've just been thinking how your hit novel has great potential for an animated family movie. Huxley: Youwanttomake .. ABmwNewWon'd into an "animated family-movie"? Disney: Yes, you've got some great ideas, a wonderful vision ofthe future. Analvehero comes to the streamlined metropolis where dreams come true, he finds love, defeats 1he despicable villain, makes us all hugh, cheer, and cry. (Wtf<s away sintfe, shiny, "J!J'tfultear.) Huxley: Ah, well. Urn. Actually, I say, old chap---the protagonists want to disrupt the me- tropolis, the ''villain" wins, and is sort of sympathetic--and the hero dies. Disney: Sure, as is, it's a little too icky-depress- ingso1here'llbentinorchanges. Like--youimply hu11dng, tsk-I 1hought wi1h ''Bambi'' I made 1he equivalence of human beings, wild animals, and pets quite clear, for everybody... and I'd think a man of your intellect, Aldous, would realize that hunting for food is a cruel, dirty, and unnatural way of treatingcreatures. (Reflect&) Unlessyou'reaquaint Injun, or alion-king-1henit's noble. (Licks lip&) Speakiugof food,I'mhungry. (Pressesdesk-b=er: "Daisy, have someone head over to McDonald's to pick me up some nice clean Chicken McNuggets, would you? ...good girl.") Anyhow- you do have some great ideas, though. Social control via conditioning pleasure-pain responses-- quash discon- tent by satisfYing superficial needs instanrly-1hen concoct new superficial needs. Baloo could do a cameo, a song-dance number: "Super-duper-cali, insta-grat-i-fi-cay-tion,ee-ee-ee-pleasure-us-unurn, 1hrough-out all-1he-na-tion ... " Yes, overall, a brilliant piece of work. Wejustneed tocutouta few of 1he little... !floft you made, here and 1here. (Enter Goofy) Goofy:(biggtin) You called, Walt? Hyuk-hyuk. Disney: (I'urningtoHuxleyw/genrlechuckle; Huxley offers apolite, confused, smile in response.) Oh, that Goofy. (!'urns back to Goofy, still chuckling-Goofy,poorsimplesod,chucklesalougwith him.) No, Goofy, I didn't. (Now purtiug dangerously.) You'veinterruptedme. (Goofycowers) Youhavedis-pleasedme. (Goofyguail& Huxley clears 1hroatuncomfortably.) 1browyourself into 1hePit. GooJY:(Abjecrly cringing) Noooo,Datk.Mas- Huxley: (Remembering, in nick-of-time, not to wet himsel£) Ah, I was just leaving Disney: OK-but think about my suggestions,Aldous. Don't be hasty, like that silly Gordon Lightfoot- he wouldn't work with me on the ter,nooo .... Lake Superior to find her dreams, and finds 1hernin the :first mate's arms. .. but no, Gordon had to be the Disney: I said: back to 1hePit---<lnd stay 1here, till you learn your lesson. Goofy: Not 1he eyeball-leeches atpin... nooo, Mighty Ovedord,bavemercy!! Disney: (Raises hand beating One Ring of Power) Takeyourpunishment Go. (Goofy slinks of~ bound for Pit of Agony. Disney beams at Huxley) Now,wherewerewe? Huxley: Well, I was trying my best not to urinate mysel£ Disney. (Narrows eyes.) I am gbd, for your sake, you didn't. (More tolerantly) You see, urine is so ... nasty. (Think&) Oh, ye~ I was wondering .. (Lowervoice) ... this "soma"-pill, this ''happy-pill" you mentioned in the book ... where can I get some? Huxley: Ah, I'm afraid I made that up, old boy. I mean, you can't "fix" Life with a Disney: (muttering plucking neurotically at hair) ... you see, it's these artists' unions, and the Reds, 1hey're driving me craaaazy. ... (Gnaws on 1humb.) Huxley: (Sweating profusely) Well, ahm, I can't-I'm justa writer, you see ... Disney: ... , Soma sounds so simple and nice, notlikep-p-p-pe-pe-pe-peo-peoHuxley: Youmean "people'',olddlap? (Disney hisses like vampire. Then whimpers, reaching out to stroke Huxley's foreann-"So-ma? So-ma!') Huxley: (Pullingannawayawkwardly) Ahm, er,I have heard of... ''Prozac"-perhaps the closest thing to soma would be this "ecstasy" they're developing... Disney: Ecstasy, epcotstasy... a nice epcotplanet, where all are made ofobedient benevolent pbstic, ahhhh.... (Eyes tum glowing-red) STOP SNIVELING, YOU REVOLTING FLESHCRR\TUR.E--- OR I SHALL ABANDON YOU FOR A NEW HOST-BODY (Normal agtin.) Whatwerewetalkingabout? movie-adaptation to his song ''Legend of the Edmund Fitzgerald;'' (Petulanrly.) And I had so manygreatideasforit---<lhappy-ending,evenaloveinterest... a feisty, high-spirited red-head disguised as a sailor comes to the coo~ unpolluted waters of snooty, temperamental artist Huxley: (Suddenly irritated enough to exhibit flash of courage) Well, I've seen howyou treat your cartoon-creations----so as for a human being, let me guess: you arbitrarily sacked him? Or maybe you had your strike-busting goons break his legs? Disney: (Offended) Of course not, Aldous. Have you bought :into the propaganda about me, that I'm a domineering autocrat, twisting legends into sugary-sentimental, Americanized 2-D emotional anesthesia, just to sell T-shirts? Aldous-I'm hurt Huxley: (Abashed) Well, no, er, Walt, of course not, old fellow~it's just thatDisney No, I'm no big-shot capitalist-emperor. (Sighs.) At heart, I'm really just ano1her bard-working blue-collar Si1h Lord. (Grimly.) As for Mr. Ilghtfoot, he has all the time he wants to compose more of his gloomy, French-cinema-ending little (rolls eyes) "fulk-songs". (Purtiugcontentedlyagain.) A 1housand years, to be exact, as he slowly digests in my beautiful pet Sarlacc's belly,leamiuganewdefinition of.. pain. Huxley: (Carefully hidingpants-srnin)"-\h, wellah, I should rrally be going I'll, ah, leave a .. forwarding address with your secretary, ahm, or-some1hing.. ta-ta. (Huxley exits, hurriedly. Disney pulls out note-planner, writes: "_Have. .. A.f-fs liver... tom out by giant vulture," then calls out "next!" Homer enters, tapping alongw /red-tipped cane.) Homer: Sing, oh J\·fuse, of... Disney: (Looking around suspiciously) If rltis "muse" of yours is in one of those rabble-rouser labor unions, you can tell her to get the hell out of my office.(Rebxes) Please, sit. Homer: Shall I recite to you/ Of 1he man-Dfmany-waj~? Disney: No, no, don't'\vorry-Ihave an excellent translation: the Disney-trans1'1tion. (Holds up Disney continued on back page . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY 5 �A Critical Appraisal of a Critical Appraisal of a Pint Glass by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer Mr. Hook's 1946 '11 Critical Appraisal of the St. John's Curriculum" was the topic of the recent Pomerole seminar. Hook is hostile to the St. John's method, espousing the more commonly-accepted approach toward liberal education. While I do not have an insider's grasp of Johnnieland, I do have firsthand experience of the mainstream liberal arts programs that more closely fit Mr. Hook's vision-hence meager justification for speaking on a topic that I would otherwise admit is, really, none of my business. Justification, and motivation-it is not so much that I love St. John's as flawless Shangri-La, but that I detest d1e mainstream educational system as a tasteless joke. Mr. Hook finds that St. John's centers itself too much upon the past, upon tradition; he contends that good liberal education instead: " ... draws from both the past and present in order to provide building material for the creation of a new tradition, continuous with what is best of the old, one that enables us to meet our uncertainties with intelligent action rather than with pious resignation." But this leads us to view the past by the valuation of the present, and assumes that the viewpoints of the present are the true ones; that is, to consult the past with a view toward solving the great problems of the present is to assume we know what the great problems are. If one believes that the modern age is intoxicated, then Hook's approach is like that of a drunken barfly whose questions are: "Do I have enough gas to get home? Where are my car keys?" The Republican who consults The Republic so as to apply principles of an idealized city-state toward building a better democratic empire misses even the work's political dimension, much less the question of justice. Mr. Hook's position would lead to even more students interpreting Cicero through the eyes of Hilary Clinton; I would rather more students did the reverse. Hook also is a proto-multiculturalist, critical toward St. John's focus on \Vestern civilization: "Is not imaginative sympathy with the problems and experience of the 6 Chinese and Hindoos, with whom we must deal tomorrow, just as important as imaginative grasp of... early Greek, late Roman and 161h-Century Italian society?" "Important"? Yes. "Just as important"? WellNo. And it no more implies disdain of Chinese and Hindoos for Westerners to say the latter than it implies disdain of others' grandfathers that I am especially keen to hear stories of my own. Through multiculturalism Western Man now exhibits the greatest arrogance of all: claiming to raise himself above all particular, distinctive history-when in reality he is not above particular history but rather below it. The comparative-religion multiculturalist who assumes the role of a detached space-alien tourist from Beta Pictoris, who regards heritage as salad bar around which he may objectively saunter with The Hero With 1,000 Faces as menu, he does not understand the ftrst thing about the religio-cultural symbolism he analyses- for he does not even recognize that multiculturalism is itself a culture. Or rather an anti-cultural culture, a culture in the same sense that a virus might be loosely called a life-form. As Spartacus' broadminded Lentulus Gracchus was toward Roman cults, the multiculturalist is toward cultures: Publicly sacriftcing to all the gods, every last one- yet at heart holding neither allegiance nor belief for any of them. So I don't claim there's nothing to learn from Taoism, the Mayans, etc. Rather I merely observe the oddity that many American youths are more enthusiastically familiar with Buddha than Socrates, that having read the Koran inspires greener-grass admiration while having read the Bible inspires suspicion of Red-Statiness. And I propose that Western civilization writ large stop worshipping science and start ·consulting it: An organism that loses its roots soon dies. Progress-whether genetic or memeticonly takes place within a context of a chain of inheritance, self-memory. And this is not ethnocentric pride- I would happily exchange Rousseau for Confucius and believe the Chinese would be getting the worse end of the bargain. But reality demands I acknowledge Rousseau as more closely linked . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . to our society's evolution and structure. So for self-knowledge the Analects are refreshing, yet the Social Contract is essential. I know one product of the progressive liberal education Mr. Hook promoted, a student who loyally characterized the St. John's program as "sexist, racist, elitist patriarchalism." Yet if diversity were genuinely cherished, one would not expect the existence of a tiny institution concentrating on the spiritual/intellectual development of Western civilization to be so offensive. Mr. Peterson expressed better questions about St. John's than Mr. Hook has, wondering if there is not sometimes a cult with a "dogmatic attachment to St. John's as an ideal, of something, like 'education', for instance." Even though I do not share the formative Johnnie-experience, I have an intuitive sense of what he is talking about: an undergrad friend of mine who ftnished here a couple years ago often exemplifies this, referring to Great Books curriculum as if it were a coherent canon, sacred scriptures of Johnianity. (Johnism,Johnlam? Was Hook an ajohneist?) She reveres T.S. Eliot; she equally reveres Lucretius. She reveres Aristotle; she equally reveres Freud. Now, I am not asking anyone to agree with any hierarchy by which I might assign these works a place in my bookshelf. Rather note that without any ordering or judgment, it is problematic to claim that taken together these works form an integrated world view, a "something". The problem is not so much that there is a cult, but that that cult is rather hazy as to what its culthood is about- at best one can say there is general consensus that Plato was, like Ferris Bueller, a righteous dude. Which is fmc-Platonism could serve perfectly well as common ground-except that at times it feels as if the Cave is the only thing Plato ever wrote. That is, one spirit prevalent at St. John's is the notion that even if there is truthwhether God, or the Forms, or Materialism, or Mathematics, or Life-Force, whathave-you-it is always and forever inaccessible, and ultimately all this talking is merely an endless, i.e. pointless, process. Education not as arduous pilgrimage toward real- �ity, butwonderfully-fascinatingvacation from it. This attitude grates upon me not as present hey-I-got-all-the-answers religious nut but as a former agnostic; for it dishonors the honorable tightrope-walking discipline of agnosticism. The true agnostic does not say: "I cannot ever know truth," but rather: "I do not know if I can ever know truth." The former statement has nothing to do with knowledge nor hunger for it, rather it is a willful decision, despair proclaimed as intellectualism; the latter, a simple statement of perception- to which the really principled, rigorous agnostic adds: "I might actually know truth already-! can't say, for certain, what I do or don't know." Do you know the way to Larissa? Does a bird know which way is south? The true agnostic hesitates to use the words "right" and "wrong" out of sincere reverence for their underlying meaning-while the faux-agnostic resents implications such meanings have regarding the existential-freedom to embrace absurdity without reproach. Binary thinking: None of us knows all, none of us knows naught, yet at heart even while we declare "I know that I don't know," we inevitably round to 1 or 0, toward bestof-all-worlds optimism or bleakly empty pessimism. Yet ask-in profoundest philosophical voice-the parched desert-sojourner whether the pint glass containing a half-pint of water is pessimistically half-empty, or optimistically half-full. His only reply will be to take the glass from you and drink the contents. Unless you have no glass to offer, and speak only of airy abstractions-in which case his reply is to laugh, or weep, or sock you in the kisser. Another Peterson-pensee: "\Ve're all supposed to have some grand purpose in our life fulfilled by St. John's ... it usually amounts to remaining the same person while embarking on a career-path." True. In virtue-oriented lands, vll:tuous education adapts students to take leadership roles. In utilitarian lands virtuous education puts its students at odds with their own society. One may sell out- or one may fail, as shooting star. Oragain eschewing the binary-one may strive to be mover rather than moved. One obvious vocation I see for a St. John's education, at this point in time, is teaching. 1fr. Peterson observes that "there is a lot of merit to the St. John's way, but it should be questioned and not assumed." I regard St. John's strengths rather prosaically. In no particular order: 1.) The tutors. The in tel- lectual breadth, versatility of every tutor I know far exceeds standards of the Prussianized mainstream university system. There ate geometry-tutors here who speak Greek, German, Italian better than many English professors speak English; there is an astrophysicist here with better grasp of literature than any literature professor I have had. 2.) The reading material. We can argue details- Kant's opaqueness, Aristotle/ Marx ratios- but by and large St. John's texts are at least somewhat interesting, and relevant to our civilization. The same cannot be said of most textbooks written about the texts-there is a reason why those who make livings writing textbooks don't compose philosophy, or modern equivalents to W'ar atid Peace. As a creative-writing major I knew commented: '1\. literary critic is a novelist who lacks novelty." 3.) The students. I presume that someone's choice of a school outside "the Box" is a sign of something positive, some intellectual disquiet. 4.) The campus size. The small campus and student body engender a degree of personal community. 5.) Seminar. I have heard and experienced (and contributed to) too many horror stories about particular seminars-pindrop silences, classroom culture-war, jumping-bean subjectchanges-to espouse deep reverence for seminar as transcendent dialectical progression. But it at least seems logical that students will put more energy into reading assignments when they know they will converse about it, and that talking demands that otherwise hazy ideas be reflected upon, and that-oncein a while, in between waiting for our turn to add 2 cents- someone else says something that never occurred to us before. I apologize for this article's presumptiveness; again, I realize I have no business telling the administration, tutors, or Johnnies how to regard or steer their school. But I am not so much an outsider as Hook was, and considerably more friendly-of course, short of demanding the campus be bulldozed to make way for a Nordstrom's, I can hardly see how I could be less. I suggest drink the water, or (if you fear it is contaminated) then leave it alone, or seek the water's source-but pause, before cracking the pint glass for the sake of mainstream recognition or "credibility." As Ray Bradbury puts it: One must learn how to accept rejection, and reject acceptance. DC Minutes Monday, March 28 The Quad Delegates Present: Darling, Branner, Jones, Romero, Gannon, Elkins, Coppadge, Ladd-Cawthorne, Sullivan, I\1ellaney, Kronberg, Lockard, I\1angum, Geannikis, Burbridge, Singer, Healy, Utter, Young. 1 0:30pm: The meeting was called to order. A vote was taken on whether to accept the new polity constitution. The motion passed with seventeen yeas and one abstention. Wednesday, April 27 Private Dining Room Delegates Present: Utter, Jones, LaddCawthorne, Young, Elkins, Mangum, Brager, Branner, Mellaney, Gannon, Burbridge, Geannikis, Kronberg, Sullivan, Singer. Others Present: I\{s. Curry, Mr. Wolford, Mr. M. Sullivan, Mr. Mar, Ms. Beall, Ms. Kelleher, Mr. Huwe. 12:02pm: Call to order. Treasurer's report: we received records from clubs, and so we now know we have $480, plus an additional $300 from the defunct environmental club (the environment has been saved, we are told). 12:03pm: Election of SCI officers. Ms. Curry spoke briefly, who was running for secretary, followed by Mr. Wolford and Ms. Beall, jointly running for chair, and Mr. M. Sullivan, also running for chair. Questions followed. 12:19: The candidates left the room 12:22: The motion to marry Rook Singer and Brian Huwe was tabled. 12:22: A discussion of whether to give $300 to the Waltz Committee, $400 to Reality, and $80 to the DC. The council voted unanimously for this distribution scheme. 12:33: Vote for SCI officers. Liz Curry will be Secretary, and Paul Wolford and Erica Beall will be co-chairs. . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �I Came to the Wrong Place by John Peterson Staff Writer I just realized something; this school is not the right place for me. This school, which is good, is not suited for me, who is bad. For one, I do not love truth. I like it sometimes, on weekends, days off. Freshman year I subjected myself to the truth-illusion, because I wanted to fit in. It just seemed like the proper thing to do. Now I am thinking: Did I come to the right place? St. John's students want to make sense of things. Me, I want to be contradictory. I want to be ignorant, uneducated, rough, and stupid. I think Socrates was a jerk and Descartes was a hack. Nietzsche was O.K. but he was mostly a flake. The real philosophers are Hunter S. Thompson, \Villi am Burroughs, and N otorious B. I. G. (May he rest in peace). Philosophy is a living, breathing thing! Truth, or something that passes for wisdom, comes from men who have awoken from a heroin binge in a pile of trash behind a fried chicken restaurant, teenage kids on mescaline learning amazing things only to forget them, that life both is and is not worth living. I am not serious about the Program and its goals. I do not love the school. I do not want to speak in class. I do not want to understand what the author is saying. I do not find mathematics interesting. J'vfaybe I did once, but sitting in classes hearing twelve amateurs musing about figures and what they mean has ruined everything, sapped all my energy and enthusiasm. I want out. I only speak for myself. Perhaps this strange place is right for some of you, dutifully regarding every text in front of you as important, writing sexual poems with mathematical and scientific images, naively supposing that everything intellectual is related in some distant, ethereal way. You know what? We read way too 8 much here. I do not think I have really understood anything, and that is not a good thing. That thought does not make me feel fuzzy inside, like I have just had some dizzying romantic encounter the details of which I will not be able to recall until the next day. 1vfost of us would have benefited more from a bulleted list of The Republic's main points, rather than reading the entire thing. 1\1aybe that way we would have more time for 1.1aimonides, but that is another point, which I intend to bring up with the SCI. Maybe I just did not get the racket here, and I am bitter for it. You know, the grade racket. The big lie that grades do not matter here, that no one cares about grades. When did it dawn on me that you are all a bunch of phonies? Maybe it was when I was told by Career Services that I "should . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . get my grades up" that I realized, 'hey, maybe you guys really don't care about virtue after all.' Knowledge is not its own reward? Who would have thought? That was before I realized that truth and untruth are intricately bound in a double helix of lies and hypocrisy that winds its way through every cell of our being, that there is no difference between virtue and the image of virtue, that this school is a manifestation of the greatest of ironies about formal education. One is taught to despise the sophistry of 1\1eno and Gorgias, yet what is a Senior Oral but an examination in which the student is asked to answer every question put to him "fearlessly and magnificently"? Socrates would have been "asked to leave" after freshman year. Socrates talks a lot in class, perhaps too much, and be tends to grind the conversation to a halt. For his matb propositions he uses a slave boy, whitb is unconscionable. And Thrasymachus would have gotten a letter from the Assistant Dean saying, "Something has come up." We are charlatans and dilettantes talking about the depth of sin and analytic geometry in the same breezy breath. We are shameful for this and should be disgusted at ourselves. No, I do not mean that. I do not mean anything. Did you have trouble following my argument? Hal I was not even making an argument. How naive of you to think so! Ah, but Aristotle says that all speech has a logos. Whatever! Try to figure out my meaning, see if I care. What is meaning, anyway? Can we talk about that a while, oh class? Perhaps we could use as a touchstone the words of The Philosopher, "You wouldn't understand. You see it's kinda like [what] the crack did to Pookie, in New Jack, except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back." �• Senior Orals continued !tom page 4 I suggest, is how we finally respond to this predicament, and last week I suggested we consider clothing to be a way of giving our upright selves an exterior~ which to say that clothing is a way of resolving upon the very uprightness we inherently possess once our discovery of nakedness makes either simply accepting it or abandoning it impossible. But how does clothing embody such resolve? 1vfost generally and briefly, I now suggestsince time is short, by relocating our elevated point of contact with the world at our grounded point of contact. That is, we introduce the way in which the world belongs to us into the way we belong to it, giving an embodiment to our awareness of-indeed our understanding ofthe world we inhabit, carrying our picture of the world into that world, to make this picture whole. Or not quite whole-given our mortality; that is, given a sense we have of our exteriority in time we can never make wholly ours. But almost: for ceremony, I now suggest, is a way of clothing ourselves and resolvingly comporting ourselves-as we go upright from within ourselves into the world outside ourselves, from a domain of what we see and understand into an adjacent domain of what is seen and understood-across the threshold of time. As a final article on the Senior Oral will make more clear-and sum everything up? briefly and all-toocompactly, no doubt-being clothed is not only a matter more of mind than of body; it is also located more in time than in space. I leave you this week, then, with the final suggestion that clothing's most fundamental, most prevailing, and yet most fragile form-meant to be protected and sustained by our College always, and finally honored in the Senior Oral-is a certain sort of speech, where we put ourselves into the world clothed in words, in order to make a certain picture we have of the world whole, by now inhabiting what we know we are invited to understand, even challenged to understand, by meeting that challenge in making our attempt to understand it, and thus take our stand in the very world to be understood, located there by our explicit attempt, in words, to understand it, so as to have our attempt be acknowledged and understood in turn .... : Antigone continued from front page · Though, in theory, uniform dress accomplishes this goal, in practice it alienated the chorus members not only from the independent cast, but from the audience as well, rendering the individuals as an eerie, hive. minded single creature with a fondness for interpretive dance and staffs. When answering questions about this decision, Boyle was quick to point · out that the chorus members had in. deed maintained their own personalities, with some relating more closely to Creon, while others more openly supported Antigone. And though this interesting notion may have · been more obvious to other members of the audience (the reviewer cannot claim in any way to be particularly familiar with Greek plays, or plays in general, or even · good listening habits), the simple fact that . the chorus members were difficult to distinguish individually, and, perhaps more . to the point, that they were clearly meant to be indistinguishable, seemed to run counter to the idea of individual characterization. More effective, and at times downright charm. ing, was Boyle's decision to incorporate some of the original Greek. Ms. Rachel Gillis made multiple, excellent recitations of some of the choral text, and though the vaguely inter: pretive dance stuff going on behind her seemed un: necessary, hearing the original language was both : interesting in an anthropo. logical sense, and some: how nostalgic, as well. Alex Claxton, taking on the role of Creon late in production, made a very strong showing, dominating the stage : whenever he entered. Although Claxton admitted that his "physicality probably suffered" because of a lack of preparation time, his strong verbal delivery and : well-timed back-turning were more than enough to compensate. Also of note was freshman Elisabeth McClure, who made the most of her smaller role as sister . Ismene. Arthur Allen, archon of the KWP and general dramatic person, had a rather more dubious take on the prophet Teiresias, strong of voice and much younger in appearance the older character of the written play. His comfort level and natural ability on stage, however, somehow seemed to make the changes not only acceptable, but something of an improvement. Counter to this example was Rachel Gottlieb, whose portrayal of Antigone was spot-on, but whose manner on stage inclined one to believe she was very nervous. She warmed-up to the part, however, by her final appearance in an expertlyplayed confrontation with Creon. As the high tragedy's only comic relief, Chris Bea was, of course, thoroughly ridiculous. As a comprehensive show, Ms. Boyle accomplished just what she wanted. Everyone who attended most assuredly felt the pure emotion of Sophocles's words. A certain moral ambiguity was maintained throughout, which Ms. Boyle and other cast members argued was intended by the playwright himself. "The more times I see it, the less I am sure of who wins," stated the director frankly. She will hopefully be pleased to know it was, in fact, the audience. . THE GADFLY . 9 �The Liquiqy ReJt by Paul Val Cry A collaborative effort in translation by several SJC seniors including Clever Pete, Kipper Surprise and Gaylord Wiscznowski I This waiting height, where birds drive on, Between the throbbing wood, between the underground holes; Upright afternoon, there, with fire inside it The Deep, the Deep, forever done again! Oh reward after a conception Like a long gaze on top of the eagerness of gods! II \Xfhat innocent work of fine flashes consumes Many hard rocks of unimaginable slime, And what denouement seems to be desired! 'When on top of the crevasse a sun settles itself, Innocent labors of an eternal propagation, Time flares and the Dream is knowing how. III Docile treasure, bare temple of the Goddess of Violence, Waiting mass, and naked reservation, Finicky water, the Eye that retains inside of you So much sleep under a sheet of flame, Oh my breathlessness! ... Erection in the soul, But golden climax with a thousand blows, Roof! IV Temple of Time, that lonely breathing continues, At this virgin point I mount and accustom myself, Everything drenched in my wet view; And like my supreme offering to the gods, The releasing scintillation seeds On top of the peak a masterful composure. v As the fruit melts in pleasure, How in delight it manipulates its gap In a mouth where its form stiffens, I inhale here my steamy future, And heaven ejaculates on my consumed soul The manipulation of noisy borders. VI Ravishing Heaven, true Heaven, feast your eyes upon me who grows) After so much pride, after so much strange Yearning, but full of power, I submit myself to this shining crevasse, Over the houses of the dead my shadow passes Which tames me to their frail movement. VII The soul exposed to the torches of the longest night, I hold you up, oh Just One who I admire, Luminous with regretless limbs! I return you still virginal to your first position: Look at yourself! ... But giving back your light Assumes shadow to be your sadistic portion. VIII Oh for me alone, to me alone, in myself, 10 Touching the breast, with the sources of this poem, Between the opening and the virginal event, I anticipate the resounding of my grandeur inside Odiferous, shadowy and echoing tank, ' Sounding in the soul a hollow always ahead. IX Do you know, deceived captive of the bush, Eating gulf through these flimsy nettings, Over my pressed eyes, blinding secrets, \Vhat body drags me to its overdue finale, "What breasts attract it to this bony terrain? A twinkle there reminds me of what I'm missing. X Chaste tightness, full of a warmth without material ' Experienced member offered to your glistening, This spot pleases me, dominated by heat, A union of golden stone and dark brush, 'Where so much of my marble quivers in such concealment· The faithful Deep there has a lie~down on my burial chamber! XI Splendid bitch, idolater with legs splayed! When alone with the happy mouth of a shepherd, Then I feed for an elongated time, furtive fleecy creature, The white group of my relaxed monument, Drives out the doves of prudence, The unfulfilled dreams, the angelic curiosity! XII Here come, the future is relaxation. The definite insect scratches the dryness; All is burning, violated, taken in panting With I know not what severe essence ... Life is ample, loaded from things now absent, 1'be tang is luscious, and the mind limpid. XIII The enveloped stiffness is well entrenched in this soil That warms it once more and rubs its mystery. Peak of the day. Peak without movement Conceives in itself and sees that it is good ... Satisfying head and perfect apex, I am in you the secret change. XIV You have only me to contain your quaking! 1vfy repentances, my doubts, my constraints Are the flaw of your coveted jewel. .. But in their night, heavy with my marble, A shadowy figure at the root of the wood Has already taken slowly your part. :A'V They melt into a thick oblivion, The red mud has drunk the white species, The gift of life has passed into the blossom! \Xlhere is the familiar language of stiffness, That private art, the curious souls? New life spins as tears are formed. XVI The shrill cries of the aroused hussies, Their eyes, their teeth, their moistened eyelids, Their hypnotic breasts that fool around with fire, . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �The blood that gliotens through their yielding lips, Virginity, the fingers that defend it, All goes under the soil and comes again in this game! XVII And you, great core, do you hope a dream That has no tone a flying Which at the sight of the flesh makes golden water here? Will you cry out when you are spray? Go! Everything escapes! 1\..iypresence is leaky, Even my righteous impulsiveness passes on! xvm Scanty prolongation dark and rich, Comforter,in your cruel glory, That from its stiffness makes a motherly milk, The beautiful lie and the pious ruse! \Xlho does not know them, and who does not refuse them, This untaken head and eternal titillation! XIX Deep daddies, taken heads, That under the weight of so many shovelfuls, Are the dirt, and bewilder our strut, The true rodent, the firm caterpillar It is not at all for you who copulates under the table, It seizes the gift of life, it fastens itself to me! XX Love, perhaps, or my self-hatred? His sly nibbles are so close to me That any name suits him! How momentous! He sees, he wants, he dreams, he touches! My flesh pleases him, and just in my bed, Alive, I live to belong! XXI Riddler! Cruel Riddlerl Riddler of a far offland! You have pierced me with this arrow that swiftly Vibrates through the air, flies, and yet flies not! The sound renews me and the arrow brings about my litde death! Ah! the sun ... \'\!hat reptilian shadow For the soul, Swift One fttm with great steps! XXII No, no! Stay roused! Into the next era! Break my body, this brooding form! Drink my breasts, the birth of flows! A freshness, from the exhaled depths, Returns my soul to me ... 0 salty power! Let us stampede to the flood in lively splashing! XXIII Yes! Great ocean of rewarded delirium, Skin of a wildcat and punctured wrapping Of thousands and thousands worshipping that hot rock, Defiant mythical beast, drunk off your own cold flesh, That your apprehensive, lustrous tail In a fury to shame silence, XXIV Increases the flow! Life must be tasted! 1\.fammoth bursts open and stick together my binding, The wave of filth dares spurt out of the rocks! Fly up, my ovetwhelmed sheets! Burst, waves! Burst gratified liquid On this expectant roof where jibs peckt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Change continued from front page Freud's conclusions and the method he employs in reaching them. Interpretation of Dreams is not a scientific work-at least as understood by Francis Bacon and his intellectual descendents; it makes no demonstrable claims, nor can its conclusions be strictly falsifiable. If a dream is not apparently the expression of a wish, the psychoanalyst merely needs to keep "interpreting;'' eventually he'll find something that will fit the mold. In this respect, Interpretation ifDream sis reminiscent of the Theodicy of Candide's Pangloss, which was always able to explain how it was "the best of all possible worlds," despite what others might consider ample evidence to the contrary. Of course it is possible that we are meant to perceive the dubious nature of Freud's method-and its equally dubious conclusions; and as a result of this awareness, we could see that we ought to be mindful of quickly accepting hypotheses as true and of the dangers of scientific dogmatism; or maybe the Freud readings are meant to discredit the very idea of modem social science. If it's the latter, that's unfortunate since I think the problem with Freud is not that he approaches things too scientifically, but that he is not nearly scientific enough. If the Freud readings are meant more broadly to be a cautionary tale against sloppy science-----or a misapplied liberal educationit's a shame to waste three seminars on it. I think that Bacon and Swift did a sufficient job of addressing such intellectual pretensions. If it seems we need something more in this vein, I would recommend Montaigne's Of Cripples. The essay would only take one seminar (instead of three), its prose is much better, and it is absolutely hilarious. Furthermore, Montaigne dispels a ridiculous sexual theory-instead of creating all sorts of new ones. I'm not opposed to Freud being on the Program, merely the readings of his that are currently being done. It has been a while since I read them, but I recall that both The Future of an Illusion and Civilization and Its Discontents are very interesting. They are also both fairly short--each capable of being read in its entirety for a seminar-and they are much more philosophic (as opposed to scientific or pseudoscientific) than what we currently read, and are, as a result, much better suited to seminar. . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 11 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Disney continued from page 5 copy with smiling Odysseus and Penelope on cover, caricature-suitors growlingin background, adorable 8-yearold Telen1achus flexing his bicep. A delightful Ci.tcean talking-pig hugs Odysseus' legs dependendy and fearfully eyes d1e suitors.) Oh, I'm sorry-you can't see it. Too bad- I'd like your honest reaction. (Awkward silence. Then Disney frowns.) You know... on reflection... I can already tell you will not be a team-player, and I will have no time for your "scruples". (Darkly.) Yes, I thinkihavesomefriends who might better suit you and your uppity muse. (Snaps fingers; enter six surplus 1-.ifark Twainanimations from 'The American Adventure".) Animatrons: (In cheery unison): Hello, ladies and gendemen. I'm Mark Twain, aufuor of 'The Jumping Frog of Calaveras County", and I'm here to talk about a special litde place called. ..'America.' Ahem. In 1776-whew, even before my time, ha ha-Disney: Aninutrons--implement ProtocolFunction Alpha-12. AnimatiOns: (Drnwingconcealed scimitars, stiffly trompingtowardHomer)EX-TEIUvi-EE-NA1E. EX-1ERM-EE-NATE. DEE-STROY THE. CAR-BON. U-NIT. Homer: It may be, Walt, tamer of celluloid anthropomorphized animals,/That yours will be fue triumph, that you will forever feast upon commercialized folklore,/Chatybdisially-vomiting up fueme-parks, cutesy-movies,/And dire songstresses from your Hey-Mickey-Club./But I do not fuink so, Walt of fue long Orlandoan waitinglines,/No, I do not fuink you \vill be oops-doing-it-again./ Sooner, I think, will I achievegreat victory/Over you and your fell brood,/IfAfuene but grant me fuat glory. (Presses button on his cane to reveal it is actually a disguised, collapsible steel melee-stick) For ever since my parents were murdered byPhoenician pirates,/Who put out my eyes and left me for dead,/ I have waged a relendess one-man war on evil,/ With aid of my remaining blindness-enhanced senses. (Shrugs.) I only sing songs/Of sackers-ofcities in my spare time,/To help me unwind. (Backflips from chair, deftly downs 3 Twain-hots using Mycenaean ju-~tsu.) Animatrons: (retreating backwards toward their master) WAR-NING. WAR-NING. THE. CARBON. U-NIT. HAS 1v.fAD-SKill.S. \VITH. THE. BO-STAFF Disney: Crush him, you cybenletic-simpletons!! He's just 1 manll And he's blind!! (Blushes) I mean, 12 . THE GADFLY .. . . . . . . "visually-impaired!!" (Showing no clemens-cy toward fue sinister simulacra, Homer retrieves a fallen scimitar and in a single horizontal stroke slashes the remaining Twain-hots in twain. Then he strikes down Walt Disney, who falls as a ridiculously-overpriced dollop ofstrawberry ice-o:eam falls, to splatter gooey-red under hot Analleimian sun willie its carefully-engineered flavor dejectedly wafts along the road to Hades. Homer shreds mock-Odyssey, surveys wreckage wifu his sonar-vision.) Homer: My work here/ Is done. (He fires a homerang-tipped grappling hook out an open window bellind fue desk, fuen swings away into fue night. Some time later, a tiny brown mouse skitters out from hole-in-wall, sniffles at prone Disney's cheek, who momentarily revives. He feebly reaches out his hand to it.) Disney: My brofuerl! My brofuer!! (Mouse, frightened, skitters back into fuehole. Disney melts away. later, :Michael Eisner enters room, notes a gleaming ring lying on floor: "Hello, preciousssss ... ') To Buy aJoke From Our Uncle Walt My tale was mosdy failure, my skills are yet too weakFor I could not find fue way to mock fue forces grim, Without mocking the man consumed by fuem, And we always fall short, when we twist laughter into merry-morbid weapon, When we wifu smiika Someone-Else condemn. Disney'simpiety: Usingman'smyths,asfodder for "Imagineering", Yet I stand guilty of treating myths, and a dead man's life, As grist, for my darkly-comic sneering But love's fue only real source of laughter, And such gentler laughter's all we know- here, now- ofhoped-for ever-after, So remember, please, do not forget Those who live by fue scorn do die by it. 'Tis forbidden to hate Disney, Epcot's Prince, Regardless ofwhat he became, Regardless of the plastic, saccharin'd fac;ade, 'pon which is scrawled his name. Regardless of his hopeless quote: 'This world is rat-eat-rat, dog-eat-dog," Or his manipulation of fue l11asses, as fauxcheerful demagogue. For we all sometimes tire of tiresome fellowmen, we all do yearn, for nJastery, For a world fuat about our wishes turns. For a safe and perfect Disneyland of our very own, There's temptation to seek out that accurs'd throne. Recall that bendingalways are our own corrupted thoughts, Toward dut dead-sterile Fantasia, where wdre the ones who call-all-the-shots. The scars on the child who sought escape from too-often cold and painful life, 1hrough cartooning, are no different from those borne by the rest of us. So if from fiction-fall of that suspicious, mistrustful, lonely tyrant, We have enjoyed a jeer, Let's pay out joke's economical pric~ single, shiny, regretful tear. I hope Uncle Walt forgives me, for finding callous-fun in his pain, For he was villain, yes, but victim too- that mucl1 is dear and plain. He could not find peace in our world down here, I can pray he finds it in another, For he was never our kindly uncle, no-nearer kin was he, our drowning brofuer. But hatred, like all heart's-tools, surely Ius her proper prey, Of unseen hateful forces that greedy-stalked a sad, mouse-drawing boy, I sayOf loath-worthy forces fuatwarped clllld's-gifts into sprawling beast'Gainst fuem hard war must ne'er be ceased: For seven deadly goblins feast on unformed wills and minds, every dJance fuey can, And craven shadow-riders flex fueir 'strengfu' o'er defenseless babes, Yet fuey are but wispy Gygean vermin... that have not the guts to face a man. like Trojans before Thetis' pride-and-joy,letshadO\vs without clemency be driven, From them, no quarter can Adanl's sons e'er ask-fuen so ... let none be given. DATE DUE 1 I ----.J-1 1 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 25 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-05-03 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 25 of The Gadfly. Published May 3, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.25 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/276fd6b1be32cc24df35322d93954f29.pdf 5aa53f737117f11b4729aeb74f3fea01 PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY ~ 11111111111111111~~m1111111mm 1 .31H199E 1111111111111111 GADFLY The St. John} College Student Week_& Volume XXVII, Issue 1 Annapolis, Maryland August 31, 2005 Please, Freshmen, Don't Mention I<afka by Jennifer Wright Editors' Welcome Dear Johnnies, Welcome to another year of the Gadffy with your faithful editors Christopher Utter and Shoshana Goldstein. We hope you will fill this year's edition with even more of the controversy, humor, and inimitable Johnnie wit that makes the Gadf!y the lovable rag it is. Remember, we will print practically anything, just so long as it is mildly entertaining, reasonably well-written, and not libelous. So if you ever have an idea for a story or a weekly column, just send it in and we will probably print it. An even better idea would be for you to come to our weekly brainstorming session EVERY TUESDAY AT 5:00PM IN BARRBUCHANAN 109, so that you can give us some notice of your plans, as well as help others think of ideas, even if you don't feel like writing anything yourself. We would particularly like to welcome the freshmen, and so the rest of this letter will be for you. Hello. Please come and write for us. We need new people, and it is a great way to learn about the college. .Also, if we negatively criticize your style, don't take it personally; we were all freshmen at some point. Now down to business: We have enclosed a map of the area that may or may not be legible. Mostly what you need to know is that there are three banks on Church Circle, all of which are about the same (since all banks are the same). Galway Bay is a great Irish restaurant with a bar attached. "Chick and Ruth's Delly [sic]" is open until very late, and you can find it half way down Main Street. Harry Brown's has great traditional fair, with a good bar upstairs, and is right around the comer on State Circle. There are two main coffee shops: City Dock, which is on Maryland Ave. and also down by the docks, and Hardbean and Books, which is also down by the docks. There's also a Starbucks (which, along witl1 most things, is down !?JI the docks). Unfortunately, the college bookstore holds a monopoly on good books, although Hardbean has some, and there is a VERY small bookstore downtown called the Annapolis Bookstore. There is a Borders at the mall, if you take the bus or the shopping shuttle. If you think of anything else, don't hesitate to ask. Or just wander around downtown and see what there is for yourselves. Have a good year! Sincerely, Christopher Utter Shoshana Goldstein Now that I've completed my freshman year I feel I'm entitled to impart a few words of wisdom to the incoming freshmen in their first weeks. I lay forth these words as follows: Please, for God's sake, don't mention Kafka. My most vivid memory of my first week freshman year was going down to the cafeteria for breakfast. I'd finished my seminar reading, and I had thought that I would read some of The Trial. I'd always meant to read Kafka, and it struck me as kind of a Johnnie thing to do. So I was sitting there, eating breakfast, reading Kafka. I was happy. 'Mmm ... ' I thought to myself, 'Fruit Loops feel good in my belly, and Kafka feels good in my brain!' And then, a girl across from me caught sight of my book, and she sneered as she said, '11.re you reading Kafka?" She said Kafka like it was a dirty word, "I read that when I was thirteen. I remember thinking it was kind of interesting then but now I find it all just really sophomoric." I spent a moment wondering whether I could flee with my bowl of Fruit Loops in a des perate attempt to regain that happy feeling, before the boy next to her said, "Really? Now, you see, I read it when I was thirteen as well, but I'm still disinclined to think it's really sophomoric. But then of course, I read it in Russian. I really don't believe you can ab sorb it unless it's read in Russian. I don't Kafka continued on page 4 �~GADFLY True Confessions of a Heartless Sophomore Editors-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Shoshana Goldstein Photographer Clarke Saylor Contributing to this Issue Aaron Brager Nina Carrieri Stacey Goguen Bryce Jacobsen DanRera Jennifer Wright Founded in 1980, the Gadj!J is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadf!J staff. The Gadf/y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadj!J is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. by Stacey Goguen "I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000) Independent of the assertion that I believe the creator of Snoopy would make an excellent Johnnie, I am here today to make a confession. As a sophomore returning to St. John's, I am beginning my journey into (among other areas) theology and music, two subjects that are (a) very complex, (b) too easy to fake, or ( c) possibly both. Although these subjects are not the focus of this article, they have played an important role in my awareness that I might have returned to campus heartless, and that maybe a confession will cleanse me of evil influences and will allow my inner Johnnie to take the reigns once more. Failing that, I can just blame television and the decay of family values. Confession: I am annoyed with trying to explain St. John's to people. During my whole summer, only two people who asked me about the school weren't turned off when I said the words "Greek" or "books" in my first sentence. Except for these two who were aware of the Great Books program, and half a dozen others who told me I didn't look like the basketball type, everyone else smiled, nodded their head, and made comments such as "wow, you must like reading" and "I'm sure you'll find a major eventually". After they backed away quickly or changed the subject, I reflected on how my view of the "outside world" has changed. It's getting stupider, and I'm getting snottier. Never before have I taken an elitist or superior attitude about my education. In high school I knew that I had a rare, genuine interest in my classes, but I never thought that made me better than my friends who didn't. Perhaps, because at St. John's everyone I socialize with has the same passion and excitement towards knowledge, returning to the suburbs of Massachusetts was a little of a culture shock. Although this demon of elitism has been growing inside me all summer, I haven't noticed its presence until returning to campus this year. During the Dean's lecture, Mr. Dink relayed that many have the misconception that saying smart things in seminar is the virtue of a seminar student. Confession: Upon hearing this, I thought, that's true, but that's what I aim for anyways. Now, ever since my convocation last year when Mr. Nelson spoke to my class about abandoning the ego in search of truth, I have been trying very hard to focus not on 'saying smart things', but on saying things that will further my class's con versa ti on and spur other thoughts in my classmates. During Friday's lecture, I realized that a part of me hasn't yet abandoned its ego in the pursuit of truth. It still cares whether I look like an idiot in class and whether I can say something so mind-blowingly ingenious that the response all around will be open mouths and an admiring silence. Heartless continued on page 4 Poster Sale Monday September 5th FSI<Lobby 10 am to 5 pm �an example ef how one can express onesef cohrfit!jy without using a'!Y curse words. JEWS' CLUES THE LEAST SATIRICAL, MOST UNOFFENSIVEMMCECOIJJtiAN novvwith 83%1ess offe~,sive oonlent DearJews' Clues: I really need your help. While using hair gel as a lubricant, I was laying pipe, just REA.ILY laying some serious pipe, inside this dead, male pig. Unbeknownst to me, a stray mutt had made a home - and a feast! - out of its deliciously wann entrails. Now the dog seems to be pregnant, and I don't believe in abortion for some reason. What should I do about my accidental monstrosity? - A Reader Note "tofreshmen: Jews' Clues is the Gadfly} weefeb advice column. Jfyou are having a problem efa'!Y kind, andyou are mo stupid "to jigµre it outyourse!f, write in "to Jews' Clues and wellansweryourquestwn! You can write "to jcgat!f!y@yahoo.com or: Jews' Clues c/ o the Gadfly Campus Mail DearJews' Clues: How can I get people to stop bringing me up in Seminar? It's demeaning to the person speaking, it's demeaning to the person being spoken to, and it's demeaning to my glorious empire. - DearJews' Clues: I think I'm gay. I just slept under the same blanket as AndrewJackson Now that I think about it, I'm definitely very, very gay. How can I tell my parents? - Note to Everyone: Ar is customary for the first Gadfly issue ef everyyear, since nobocjy} wntten inyet, we wiU publish excerpts from old editions ef Jews' Clues. This letkr is reprintedfrom 1939} third Gadfly issue. Adolf Hider (A '37) Dear lvfr. Houck: Name your kid Dan. This letkr isfrom 1838. Martin Van Buren Dear Mr. Van Buren: First of all, have you considered not telling them? You could take a hint from David Prichard, and technically have a girlfriend, but still make out with dudes, especially at parties tl-iat happened last Tuesday. Second of all, if you're going to tell them, go up, give your dad a big man-slap, and say, "Guess what? I'm gay!" (Man-slaps are like high-fives, but much, much gayer.) -J.C. P.S. I wrote this with a uniball. This letter is from earlier in 2005. Dear lvfr. Hitler: We recommend that you tum your empire into a bastion ofhate, so that no one will ever cite Germany as an example of 'The Good" again. If that doesn't work, you should try manylng your own cousin, and then shooting yourself like a coward. -J.C. This letwisfrom 10,000 B.C, when thefirst Gadfly was printed using stone tools. DearJews' Clues: Ugg. Ugg ugg ugg ugggg ugggggg ugggg. Gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-gug. Sincerely, A Caveman DearJews' Clues: "Why is your column never funny? Are all Jews this un-funny? Dan Houck Dear Dan Houck: Everyone's entitled to their opinion, and we certainly respect yours, which is whywe appreciated how honest you were at that party on Tuesday, when you told us that we were never funny. We long for this kind of constructive criticism, and hope you will someday find us as funny as we find the following letter. Oh, and as funny as we find your relationship with Ryan Crane. -J.C. DearGreg Schroeder: Shut up. - J.C. This letwisfrom 1983, and we suggesty;u do not read it if have ever been rffended inyour life. This letter is also you -J.C. J.C's Shalom's Note to non-Jewish freshmen: "Shalom" is Hebrew for "Shout-out." Shalom to Max Kronberg for having almost nothing to do with the writing of this column. Shalom to the guy who woke me up at the San Francisco airport when my plane was boarding. Shalom to the guy who woke me up at the Baltimore-Washington International airport when my plane was boarding. Shalom to Dan Houck for being a good sport, potentially. Sl-ialom to Rook Singer, JP Mcintyre, Cameron Healy,James Abrams, Charlie Pashayan, and Rehana Something-Unpronounceable for helpingwrite this column. Shalom to Joao Fernandez. He was supposed to get his dad's last name, but because of a customs mistake, he got is mother's maiden name instead. Is that why he wears those shorts? Shalom to Joe Zoller's awesome back.rubs. Joe is so good at giving back.rubs! Ifyou haven't gotten a back.rub from Joe yet, you should totally ask him for one. They're great Shalom to Erikk Geannikis for bringing back Tuesday Nite "Fites." We knew they were never really dead Shalom to The Jessio, for never fighting about whether you're 'The Fabessica." Shalom to St John's College for letting Charlie Pashayan back in ... in the future! Shalom to Febbie Lewis. Your new house is awesome! �Heartless continued from page 2 So where am I now, and why do I consider myself heartless? Well, I have had my first classes, and am trying to figure out how varying pitch in a sound wave can communicate human emotion, and what nakedness has to do with knowing good and evil and cursing your descendents. Last year, I would consider such experiences humbling. They would show me that there are always perspectives I have not seen, and connections I have not made. This year, however, I am finding myself silently scoffing and mocking such experiences. I am at a loss as to why I am turning my nose up at music and religion so early in my exposure to it here at the school. Is it because of some prejudice I have? Have I already formed opinions about instrumental music and the Bible concerning their usefulness as educational tools? The truth is, I don't know. This thought is somewhat humbling, but not enough to silence my cynicism towards Haydn and Noah. And that thought makes me feel heartless. Perhaps I'm not heartless. Perhaps I'm not even elitist. Perhaps, in the way that one cannot be insane if one questions one's sanity, my being bothered by these qualities proves that they do not have a hold on me. I have a sinking feeling, however, that somewhere out there is an insane person wondering if they are sane. Perhaps, I must simply continue with my education, and make an effort to give God and music a chance to show me their complexity and wondrousness. Perhaps I should stop assuming people who are intimidated by reading are necessarily uncivilized. Perhaps the answers I seek are ones I will find in the heart I am doubting I have. Perhaps the answer is twelve. 4 Kafka continued from front page cause they get sadistic delight from doing so. However, it's also possible that your peer believe in translations." And then, they both made the crucial mistake of mentioning how just stared at me expectantly. "So," I said, their points in seminar can only real(y be "where are you two from?" They ignored understood if everyone has read enough me, and I never went down to breakfast Kafka to understand the nihilist perspective again. And to this day, I sometimes see that because if they had they would understand boy around campus reading things, and no that cockroaches are a metaphor matter what he's reading I'll for the small souled man. feel a compelling urge to run None of which is to say that up to him and jostle him it's not wonderful that we're at a about and say, "are you readschool peopled by such literate, ing that in the original Rus erudite students. It's not even to sian? Looks like you're using say that if you're a big fan of a translation!" and then scamKafka, and you see someone per away laughing maniacally. reading The Trial that you But that may be much more shouldn't engage him or her in a my character failing than his. conversation about it. But do (By the way, Kafka wrote in understand that there's a great German, not Russian.) difference between saying Of course, you might "Pshaw, you're reading that in a contend that the current freshman class is translation, you silly cretin," and saying, different, but I don't think it is. A few days "You're reading Kafka. What do you think ago I was in the bookstore and I saw a freshof him?" The latter declaration means that man pause in front of the junior curricuthe reader can reply, "I like it. Despite never lum, clasp their hands passionately to their having read it before, I find it enjoyable. heart, and shriek in a voice loud enough for Would you like to share my Fruit Loops?" me to hear it at the other end of the store and thereby, you will be on friendly terms ''Ah! Baudelaire! Baudelaire! Fleurs du MaA with him, and he will not look back on his Baudelaire! How I love him!" (You poor interaction with you with feelings of unfreshman! If you do love Baudelaire to that bearable bitterness and hate you forever. extent, and you have no copies of his work Also, you will have gotten some unexpected in your dorm - and I can and delicious Fruit Loops only assume you don't, beto eat. Because if, in the cause if you did sighting upcoming weeks, you one wouldn't be a cause for show even a tiny bit of that much excitement - you humility and you act as can find me, and we'll go though you haven't read down to the bookstore, and every single book on the I'll buy you a copy of Les program list before arrivFleurs du Mal. Which is not, ing here you'll stand out incidentally, pronounced much more - and in a "furry duh mall.") much more positive way - than all your peers The crucial failing of many of your freshthat will fail to do so. So, especially in your man peers - not you, surely, not you - will first few weeks here, try to stay humble. Or, be their fervent desperation in the upcomif that's impossible, because you really are ing weeks to prove that they are really, truly the genius love child of Marilyn vos Savant geniuses. You may find (you will almost cerand Steven Hawking, then at least try to keep tainly find) in the next few weeks, some of all the brilliant ideas in your great big brain your peers wandering around saying, "Mr. under wraps - if nothing else so that they'll So-and-so called me pretentious. Mr. Sobe even more impressive when you toss and-so is an a**hole," or, "Miss Such-andthem like confetti to your salivating intellecsuch says I am too arrogant to continue extual groupies later. In the meantime, I'll be isting and should go home right now. She off eating Fruit Loops and reading Kafka. is only saying that because she is a trogloI'll be reading it in Sanskrit (I don't believe dyte." Of course, it's entirely possible that in things that haven't been translated into Mr. So-and-so is an a**hole, and Miss SuchSanskrit) so, please, don't even try to oneand-such is a troglodyte and they go around up me. calling people arrogant and pretentious be- . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Horton Hears a Who? by Dan Rera Cindy Sheehan appears to be the ideal spokesperson for the antiwar movement. She is a grieving mother of a son killed in the Iraq conflict, and bearing in mind that this conflict was accompanied by massive tax cuts, no draft, and no rationing, it would be safe to say she is in the extremely small minority of those required to make any sacrifice toward the ends of our foreign policy. Moreover, all she is asking is some speaking time with a president apparently too busy with yard work and bike rides to address the questions surrounding her son's death. When the media asked the president how he felt about Cindy Sheehan's request to meet with him and consequently her protest, he responded that while he respects her point of view, he needs to move on with his life. The contrast between a grieving mother and an uncaring government official is stark. But Cindy Sheehan is not as flawless as she may appear; Cindy Sheehan, the person, pales in comparison to Cindy Sheehan, the ideal. Here is a list of fundamental flaws with her arguments, actions, and requests: 1. While there is a certain romanticism associated with fireside chats and town hall meetings, the president has absolutely no obligation to meet with a private citizen, regardless of how sad or backed by popular support he or she may be. It may be advantageous for him to do so, but he is certainly under no legal obligation. 2. Her son, regardless of one's opinions about whether or not our military action in Iraq is justified, volunteered for service. This is not voluntary in the same way one gives a free gift, however. There are incentives to be gained by military action that makes it more analogous to employment. Military benefits like healthcare, special loans, student aid, job availability, salary, etc., make the contract between soldier and government advantageous to both parties. And therefore, as a fireman who receives a salary is ex- pected to save lives and put out fires, even at the home of someone he hates, an individual committed to military service is obliged to perform his duties, which include sacrificing his life. 3. Cindy Sheehan, in the course of her protests, has taken company with Cindy Crawford, Texas moveon.org, and she has a post on Michael Moore's web page. Regardless of how one feels about either of these entities, it can be largely agreed they are far left of center. By siding with people that are known for their polarizing beliefs, she only waters down her overall point. Death, war, and grief are not matters of right/left, conservative/ progressive ideologies. Those Republicans who agree with Cindy Sheehan's point are forced into an alliance with pro-abortionist, anti-gun liberals, which drives away people interested in bipartisan war discussion. 4. She has also used her newly found fame as a platform to speak out against the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. This is far outside her reach of relevancy. She has never lost a child in Israel or Palestine. One might consider her privileged to speak on matters concerning the Iraq war, but her opinion on other issues is irrelevant. Having said all this, there is one positive thing that is being brought to light through Cindy Sheehan's actions. The current administration has operated with very little transparency. Information surrounding the motivations and ends of the American-Iraqi conflict is simply not available, and the Bush administration very rarely offers any illumination. Causes change. Goals are redefined. The "War on Terror" morphs into the "Global Struggle against Extremism." But now that over 1800 American soldiers have been sacrificed for this cause, more and more Americans are beginning to sober up from their nationalistic stupor. Cindy Sheehan, through her actions, is highlighting the opaque, authoritarian rule of this administration. This is the truly bipartisan aspect of her actions. No matter what one's political beliefs may be, the Bush administration's strangling of information out of the public arena has no value in a democracy. Those who oppose the war and those who are for it should be entitled to a lucid explanation from any government official. The free flow of information is the lifeblood of a healthy democracy. When the people select members of congress in 2006 and a new president in 2008, a complete and rational understanding of our role regarding the Middle East and other parts of the world would ensure the best democracy for the United States. If our current administration is so infatuated with the democratic ideal, wouldn't they want to satiate both Cindy Sheehan's and the demos's request for a compelling explanation? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �10) Potato Valley These people do things with potatoes that are so good they should be illegal. 11) Annabeth's Movies, movies, movies. 12) City Dock on Maryland Ave. - For those days that you jusi need a latte. 13) Gal way Bay Tis a grand place to go for those of ye with a craving for food from Mother Ireland. 14) The Smoke Shop - Got a nicotine addiction? Try this store. 15) Hard Bean Books and coffee. What else could one ask for? 16) City Dock Same as #12 but downtown. 17) Riordan's Good burgers (and great wings that are half price Monday nights). Nice after seminar stop. 18) Aromi D'ltalia - Italian gelato. Go. Now. 19) Denny's - Late night pie runs for those with cars are a must. 20) Bertucci 's Brick Oven Pizzeria Italian food worth dying for. Might actually be the form of the good. 21) Double T Diner - The only place in Annapolis still open 24 hours some days. Traditional hangout. 22) Melting Pot - Delicious fondue and perfect for a first date. 23) 49 West - Guess where on West Street this is located. High falutin' coffee shop and favorite hangout. "(.· () _J L-®-=--~~·--:----ti'~~ · Ui) ?>w..~ St.op ® I f( ~~: t4l. ~ 2) 3) 4) 5) t'fi,.... ,,... l,,.'lS f ....,~) Nu.si ~ fla..c.4!. ~__..... 1) c.~.,,,t; \a. o~ ..,.\- \u.k.l) (~ II;'~ ~n o~"' ~) ,,1(&.\a M'\.A ..ic~ i"D~~ ~~ ~ be... ~ £&<'""~' Graul 's - The only local grocery store within reasonable walking distance. Rite-Aid - If you don't know what it is, you probably don't need it. Art Things, Inc. - Need some exotic supplies? Try somewhere else. Need paint? This is the place. 7- 11 - Keep up the tradition of late night taco sauce runs during a blizzard! Minimart - Expensive but there for emergencies if you don't feel like walking far. .sHjl..c~~ &1.~d.L 6) 7) 8) 9) i...,o..~~.. ~ c:i~ ~\c'o,, Joss Cafe - Sushi bar. Go if you want to see some dazzling knife work. Joy Luck Emperor - Best Chinese food around with a nice lunch deal. Be sure to try the lemonade. Chick and Ruth's - You're not Johnnies until you've tried their St. John's burger. Making yourself sick trying to eat the El Cid is another favorite pastime. Mangia - Nice Italian food and they have pizza by the slice. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 otes that there are things in the universe that are more important than your own ego. This is a great good for your soul. 10. The benefits of the exercise and friendly competition, learned while one is young, should be maintained for the rest of your life .. .i.e., they should become habitual. For virtue, as the Philosopher said, is a habit. Freshman Bodies and Freshman Souls by Bryce Jacobsen, A'42 The reasons, both physical and metaphysical, why everyone ought to become in our sports program are many. I list a few: 1. We have the best athletic program of any collage in the country. 2. Exercise is good for the body... unless you sprain an ankle, or something like that. 3. Most of us feel better, are more alert, and can get more work done if our bodies are healthy and our souls are relaxed. 4. Friendly competition is one of the really fun things in life. It is good for your soul. 5. Your circle of acquaintances will be greatly enlarged. This is good for the soul, provided you separate the wheat from the chaff. 6. You will learn to accept, and bear with, thousands of split-second decisions from the officials, a few of which are wrong. This is very good for the soul. 7. Do you like to strivefor, and achieve, specific goals? If so, consider our college blazers. They ar~ much sought after, and the pathway is clearly laid out. Striving for goals is good for your soul. 8. It is probably true that more pure fun occurs in the athletic program than in any other area of the college. Fun is good for your soul. 9. If you get invovled in team sports, and become a "good team player", you have realized 8 11. You will get to know numerous alumni, tutors, and staff members who participate in the program. This is good for your soul, or ought to be ... provided that they are the proper sort of role models. 12. Our showers are the best at the college; always plenty of hot water. . 13. Are you bothered by, or worried by, tobacco fumes in the air? Come to the gym. The whole building is a nicotine-free zone. 14. If you perform some sort of heroic deed on t11e atluetic field, your name will be mentioned in our weekly column. Heroes are alw~ys acclaimed. But do not be carried away by this. Remember that, "the paths of glory lead but to the grave." So there you have it ... twenty good reasons why you should participate in our athletic program. If you are not convinced by all of this, come and talk to me ... I can probably think of some more good reasons. Or better yet, talk with the upperclassmen. They will tell you all sorts of strange, interesting, and wondrous things. [This reprinted article first appeared in the September 9, 1982 Gadfly. It was re-submitted /y our current athletic director; Leo Pickens. Were sure Mr. Pickens 1vou!d be ~fling to stand in for Mr. Jacobsen as the first person voice used i11 this article and answer any questions that you might have about the athletic program. --Ed} Bryce DuVal Jacobsen, Althletic Direc: tor for many years, and alumnus of St. : John's, died in 1998. He graduated from : the .Annapolis campus in 1942, and served : as Athletic Director from 19 58 to 19 87. He : spent his years here promoting the intra: mural team sports. After his retirement, : Roberta Rusch and Michael Dink served as : athletic directors, and in 1989, Mr. Pickens : took the post. : Subscribe to the Ga4f!J! 15. A high percentage of our best students are active participants in our program. 16. Those who play, stay. 17. The gym is not particularly well-equipped, as gyms go. But it has washers and dryers, and a coke machine ... and I will explain to you, if you ask me, how you can get yourself in tiptop shape, without any equipment at all. One year subscription $30. Send correct, full mailing address and money order or 18. You can sit in an old-time barber's chair in my office...you can pump yourself up or down, and adjust the slope high or low. Where else can you do that? DATE DUE 19. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. 20. It is better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A .___.___..,I ~ � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 1 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-08-31 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 1 of The Gadfly. Published August 31, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.1 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/c28ca606030e1f488cbdd67f0616760c.pdf 523ba952a1dccb982ab396d05456f684 PDF Text Text IIIII \I I I il lililiflt~li~\il l~il ~ ~ ~ ~\1\Ill\I I I T ifE .,..- G AD FLY The St.]ohnl· Collej!f Student Il7eek[y Volume XXVII, Issue 4 Annapolis, Maryland September 21, 2005 Othello Preview by Max Socol Staff Writer This Friday, instead of the usual lecture, students will be treated to a performance of Shakespeare's Othello, a show well worth seeing for a number of reasons. Of particular note is the unusual (but not unheard of) casting of students and tutors side by side. ~fs. Elisabeth 1v1cC1ure, a sophomore playing the role of Bianca, found the interplay between students and tutors particularly interesting, not the least of which being a scene in which a tutor must actually strangle a student. The scene in question involves Othello, Root Beer Floats, Bobby Socks, and Elvis by Tammie Kahnhauser It was every girl's dream. Standing by the wall at the high school dance, tapping her 1viary Janes in time to the Beatles music coming from the speakers, when a boy in Coke-bottle glasses and greased back hair comes over and says "Well gee whiz, that poodle skirt sure makes you look swell." Okay, so times may have changed, but the fifties were back at the Waltz Committee's Soc Hop on Saturday night in the FSK lobby. Despite it being their third choice venue (there was a scheduling conflict with the Great Hall, and lvfr. Pickens balked at the idea of milkshakes being served and drunk over his beautiful gym floor), Waltz archons Dan Houck and Jenny Lowe (a.k.a. ]-Lowe) were able to make the night come alive with music and mirth. The tables were cleared away to make room for dancing, and the counter by the coat room was transformed into a combination bar and soda fountain, with the customary Champaign on one side and milkshakes and floats (both Coke and Root Beer), served by soda jerks with paper "St. Johnny Rock~ ets" hats, on the other. The attendees added to the atmosphere as well, showing up in various levels of fifties regalia-poodle skirts, blouses, and bobby socks for the girls, T-shirts, jeans, leather jackets and slicked back hair for the guys. The culmination of the evening was the limbo contest, held at midnight to Elvis continued on page 2 played by Mr. Robert Williamson (yes, Greek manual Robert Williamson), and Desdemona, played by junior Ms. Magdalen Wolfe. Ms. Wolfe has in the past appeared in King William Players performances, and 1\:Ir. Williamson has been involved, over the course of his time teaching at St. John's, in twenty KWP productions. 1\Ir. Williamson, who will have his skin darkened in order to perform a role in which racial issues play a central part, was enthusiastic about the show's prospects. "The sets are minimal, because we wanted the emphasis to be on what characters were saying, like a show in Shakespeare's time would have been," he said. In addition, strict attention has been paid to meter, in order to preserve the sound of Shakespeare's poetry. The idea for the show developed over the summer two years ago, during an Othello lecture series in which ivfr. Williamson, 1\:Ir. Louis Petrich, and 1\:Ir. Thomas May performed a number of Othello continued on page 10 �THE .,...GADFLY Editors-in-Chief Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Photographers Clark Saylor Contributing to this Issue Rachel Bargis Aargon Brager Thomas Cromer Lucinda Edinberg Kayla Gamffi Ara Geukgeuzian Alex Lorman Jenny Lowe Joao Tammie Kahnhauser Max Kronberg Leo Pickens l)arcielSchvvartz ]en Silgals MaxSocol Jonanthan Tuck Jennifer Wright Amy Youngkin NicZakheim Pounded in 1980, the Gadffy is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Pe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gar!Jfy staff. The Ga4ffy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thought~ ful, informative, and thought~provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for hrrammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadj/y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless pernlission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. Virgil Initiative Update An informational meeting was held last week to announce the continuation of a burgeoningmentoring program at St. John's College called the Virgil Initiative. According to the program's coordinators, Ms. Shahrzad Arasteh of Career Services and lvis. JoAnn Mattson of Alumni Activities, the program is intended to connect current juniors and seniors with St. John's alumni living in the area, so that the students will be able to receive career advice, moral support when preparing to leave St. John's, and assistance in planning for a job in their chosen fields. Sophomores and Graduate Institute students may also participate. An ''Espresso and Sweets" student-mentor gettogether is planned for October. Afterwards, each student will be linked with a suitable mentor and the mentor and student will continue corresponding one-on-one. Since no one knows more about transforming a St. John's education into a modem career than St. John's graduates, this sounds like a great opportunity. Those who did not attend the meeting last week may receive information and sign up by speaking to Ms. Arasteh in her Pinkney offices. Kayla Gamin AT1ENTION, IATINISTS I am looking for a few people with pretty good Latin who would enjoy reading the first book of Horace's Odes with me this term. Horace was the greatest Roman lyric poet, and his poems are subtle, delicate, highly crafted and not easy to read. This study group is not intended for those whose grasp of the grammatical rudiments is shaky; you should have at least three years of high school Latin, or the equivalent. It will help to have read some Virgil. If you are interested, please come to an organizational meeting at noon this Friday, Sept. 23 in Room 13 McDowell lfyoucan'tmakeit to the meeting but would like to participate, please send me, before Thursday evening, your contact information and all the times of the week which are impossible for you. You can reach me by campus mail, e-mail Gontucksjc@aol.com) or telephone (410-2689214). Elvis continued from front page about four or five repetitions of "Limbo Rock," with a grand prize of one free float or shake. When the winner of the contest was announced (Dalton Lobo Dias at a stick height of about two feet), Dan Houck had the responsibility to announce that the soda fountain had run out of ice cream ten minutes or so before the contest had even started. Instead of the promised prize, Dan offered Dalton a choice: five dollars or ... a mystery prize. Egged on by the curiosity of the crowd, Dalton chose the latter, and was rewarded with half a tray of freshly baked brownies that J-Lo had brought for the people who were helping with cleanup. The party thinned out as the evening wore on. At around two an impromptu circle appeared in the middle of the dance floor, with people swaying to the music around the edge while people entered the circle one-by-one (usually pushed in by friends) to break-dance, spin around, or generally show off. By the time the music stopped, most all of the participants who had stayed the full time were overwhelmed by elated exhaustion. With weary legs and filthy socks, everyone agreed on one thing: The St. John's soc hop was most definitely a success. Jonathan Tuck Tutor 2 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . More pictures of the Sock Hop on page 7 �'I you is to pull them aside and spit in their face. This is what Webster Ye did to Andrew MacKinlay after 1\-ir. :t>.1acKinlay spit in the quad earlier this week, and we commend him for it. The only other option is to go around peeing on people as they spit. \Ve don't recommend this, but will commend you if you opt to do so against our judgment. Reminder: To submit a letter, send it to: I\iax Kronberg Campus Mail Or e~mail it to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. Dear Jews' Clues: After extensive interviews, Devon Goss has compiled a list of the three most at~ tractive and desirable freshman males: 1. 1!icah Beck 2. James Myers 3. Fresh Alex (formerly known as Drunk Alex) The only hot guy on the list is the third! Otherwise this list is totally wrong; how can I get on this list? JOAO DearJ.O.A.O.: First things first. You're in America now, and in the USA we have a minimum consonant to vowel ratio. Check out <(Micah" and ''James." Both of them have a 3:2 consonant to vowel ratio. Your name has a 1:3 ratio. You are not, and never will be, desirable to people like Devon, who also has a 3:2 ratio in her name. You could consider asking that girl Ptaeiouy, who sometimes has a 1:3 ratio as well. Sometimes, you see, the letter Y can be used as a consonant, which would give Ptaeiouy a 3:5 ratio. Consequently, you can be on her list, but only sometimes. We recommend a name change. Something like "Max" or "Aaron," which are the two sexiest names in America. The third sexiest name is "Chris Aamot." In fact, were we to sculpt some sentence that included those three names, its very sexiness would melt your retinas. If you rearrange the letters in all of our names, you get the two sexiest concepts in the world: hoax maniac and roam rats. We think these roam rats should "fite" on Tuesday nite against the diabolical schemes of the hoax maniac. Yours, Also, maybe get some shorts that leave something to the imagination. Yours, ].C. Dear Jews' Clues, I was leaving I\tfellon Hall last week and, much to my distress, I witnessed an otherwise knowledgeable and scholarly chap walk along in front of me and proceed to spit on the sidewalk. Well, I was shocked to see one of such refinement indulge in such unsanitary and ungentlemanly behavior! What should I have done? Should I seek out his name and send him a copy of Miss Manlier's Guide to Excruciating(y Correct Behavior or do you think that he will get the hint if he reads about this in Jews' Clues? Gratefully, Lucinda Edinberg Your Mitchell Gallery Art Educator Dear Ms. Edinberg: We agree that you should be shocked! You raise an important issue that many ignore: public spitting. For some reason, many people view spitting as different from expelling fluids from other bodily orifices. We fail to see this distinction. In fact, urine and saliva are chemically very similar. Each is approximately 97% water, and the remaining 3% of each substance is composed mostly of sodium and various enzymes. We think that spitting is an activity that should be done either alone in a bathroom behind closed doors or between consenting adults. These otherwise gentlemanly deviants are hard to detect. When you eventually come across one, unfortunately, talking won't work: spitting is the only thing these kinds of people understand. Consequently, the only appropriate action for ].C. Dear Jews' Clues, Every time I go to the dining hall something crucial is always missing for me, be it forks, knives, dinner trays, or cups. Why does this happen? Am I fated to never have a complete dining experience? Do you even believe in fate? Unsettled, Spoonless in Annapolis Dear S.i\..: Every time we get a letter, something bugs us, be it a plural where there should be a singular, a split infinitive, or an awkward use of the verb "to fate." Why does this happen? \V'ill we never receive a letter that provides for a complete grammar experience? Do you even believe in grammar? Also, stop b*tching. The dining hall is way better now than it ever has been in the last four years. We will agree that it's aggravating to eat said glorious food with your fingers, but it's a small price to pay and it's time to pay the price. Yours, ].C. Dear Jews' Clues: Does Rachel Bargis think gay people just go around flashing unsuspecting children? If so, how does she sugRachel Barg:ia gest I go about practicing this technique? Can the SCI sponsor an all-college seminar? Jews' Clues continued on page 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Love, Johnnie Style by Jennifer Wright Staff Writer I recently went through the last portion of a break-up. Break-ups stink. You cry after them, and drink Klein Constantia wine because Jane Austen says it will heal a broken heart, and go to the harbor to stare out at the sea and declare, "no one will ever know how I loved him!" Then, after about a week, you pull yourself together and begin taking dates. This breakup was nothing like that. This break-up managed to drag on for five months, and slowly and systematically devour my soul. I used to think my soul was a happy little winged thing that wore lots of pink ribbons in its hair and could dance the polka like no body's business. Then the breakup came, and began gnawing at it. Now my soul has been reduced to a teeny tiny creature that bears a surprising resemblance to a yogurt covered raisin with eyes. It does not dance the polka like no body's business; it flings its lumpy body about without dynamic quality and falls down, and weeps. I have begun to suspect that it has also contracted leprosy, but can't really tell, what with it being so lumpy to begin with. So, there was a thirty six hour period wherein I was won over by the argument of one of my peers that love is totally unnecessary and a thing to be avoided. Then the thirty six hours passed, and I gasped, and cuddled my funny looking soul, and remembered that such is not actually the case. Though if you listened to certain Johnnies, you'd never know it. I never fail to be surprised, at a school where we devote so much energy to the analysis of the Symposium, how often I encounter people (usually female people) who will inform me proudly that they've never had a relationship. That they'd never want a relationship. That a relationship would distract them from serious things, like doing their Seminar reading. That the notion of having a relationship disgusts them. That, Goddammit, unlike the plebeians that populate the outside world they do not med a relationship. I smile, 4 and nod, and come to the conclusion that they are missing the point. Of course they don't need a relationship. If by "need", one only means things that are necessary to live, you do not need much beyond food, and water and shelter and fire and some sort of slingshot or the Lord's mighty hand to assist in keeping the Philistines at bay. Certainly, you don't need poetry, or music and dancing or tea or philosophy to live. But poetry, and music and dancing and tea and philosophy - and love, maybe especially love- are the things that we live for. We desire it- not need it -because love offers us some insight into other people and the world around us, and hopefully into ourselves, as well. And because to be adored by someone you adore is a sensation almost beyond earthly delight; it is like stealing nectar away from the gods. There is nothing wrong, naturally, with not having had a relationship, but having smug and unsurpassed disdain for them could be seen, by some, as rather akin to rising up, and spitting at a portrait of Socrates and declaring proudly that you do not need philosophy. And, then there's another sizable camp at St. John's of people who do believe in love and who pine from a distance. You may know these people. They are generally males (I've counted the ones I can think of offhand and they make up about 15% of the sophomore class) and they will describe to you at length their inamorata's hair and eyes and mannerisms and the cute points she makes in Greek class, and when you ask them if they've actually worked up the courage to, oh, engage this girl in conversation they will reply to you like the brave little courtiers they are, "I sent her a poem!" Poems are very nice. They are nice to read. They are nice to write. They are nice. They do not, by any stretch of the imagination, constitute an actual interaction with another person from which you could gauge whether you two would be compatible. Especially, as is often the case, when you send them anonymously. I am supremely cynical with regard to all love poems. For you people who receive those love sonnets, my best advice is that you take the poem, press it in your scrapbook to prove to your grandchildren that you were once a beauty, thank the sender quite politely and then run, do not walk, away from that relationship. Because -and I do not mean for a second to imply that you are not a "Verdi opera made beauteous flesh" or "the happier Helen of our days" (I admit I rather liked that one about Helen, but then, the sender stole it from Virginia Woolf, who is a likable source) or whatever else you've been likened to- but unless the sonnet has also referred to the way you pick at your ear wax or bite your cuticles, they are not writing about you. They are writing, with varying degrees of competence, about their ideal of femininity, which you may be reflecting in some infinitesimal way. Personally, I've never received a poem that I didn't think could have been written just as accurately had the sender never met me, but had seen a picture of me looking serene and wearing a pretty white dress. And if you ignore this- you Verdi opera made beauteous flesh, you - and you take a date with this person, you're setting yourself up for a horrible moment when they find out that you invariably spill things on yourself, or sing along to Broadway Show tunes, or possess what- . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Love continued on page 9 �'l Mmmm, Giant-Roboty, Hegelly Goodness by Thomas Cromer I rounded the corner, and found myself face to face with Ireland all aflame- with King William as an incidental in between. As glorious a sight as that was, I soon found myself deciding that it would probably be best to walk thrvugh the door rather than blocking other people's entry ... since I seemed to be earlier than anybody but the Archons. Well, it was, after all, my first Gadf(y assignment, and I thought it would be a good idea to be on the ball. At any rate, no sooner had I entered the room that would become my, and many others', home for the next eleven and a half hours, I was immediately requisitioned to aid in obtaining what any good mara than needs-the television. So I, a newcomer, and the Archon embarked on our journey for the great Television. \'\le met on the way two fellows, tried and true-well, in truth, not tried in the least, but close enough-and they joined our quest for the television set-fully anticipating, I'm sure, some hideous beast awaiting us in ambush that we would have to defeat through a combination of magic, swords, and a wait time battle system that would have provided no end to surrealistic strategy. The television, however, contrived to disappoint by allowing itself to be conveniently in the Archon's car right next to the building. So we returned, and soon enough began the marathon. Aside from the cramped environment, as we'd all sqooshed into a tiny corner of the huge King William room, and the fact that I'd managed to land myself in the coldest chair in the room, we got off to a good start. Now, I, being the rabid fan boy that I am, have watched Neon Genesis Evangelion on a number of occasions before, but this was my first public viewing (which is, naturally, expressly forbidden under who knows how many laws), not to mention the first time watching it while having somebody put his feet right next to my face. In his defense, he only did this once, and for a few minutes, but it was awkward while it lasted. So the time passed fairly uneventfully, with those in the know (the more nerdy of those present) making in-jokes about the events, without trying to give much in the way of spoilers away to those new to the series. There was an amusing interlude when a ninja stole a chair from the back of the room, though this failed to significantly affect the viewing experience. After breaking for dinner, we watched, as the Archons' are commonly wont to do, a fan-made anime music video (Rurouni Kenshin set to the 11ortal Kombat theme, for those of you who are actually curious) before settling back into the giant-roboty, Hegelly goodness. And Hegelly is now a word because I say it is, and my high school English teacher thinks that I have a very great mastery of the language. Before starting in on the last two episodes (and a little bit of fast-forwarded Flame of Reaa), we paused to discuss some background information for those new to the series, largely because the last couple of episodes make absolutely no sense without doing that, or going through them a dozen times or so. Now, the thing that you have to know about Neon Genesis Evangelion is that it helped to define what anime is today. It's one of those series that simply redefines everything around it. You see, Hideaki Anno, the director, was a genius who started to develop some questionable mental issues halfway through the show, which is usually a good thing for those of us with an analytical bent of mind, and usually pretty bad for the genius in question (though it does seem to happen to them an awful lot). Evangelion is the story of a young boy, Shinji Ikari, who was abandoned by his father some time ago, and whose mother died in an unexplained incident connected to their work. The series starts with Shinji arriving at the headquarters of NERV, the organization his father runs-which builds giant robots on the principles laid out by Hegel. Okay, so I'm being facetious, but it's funnier that way. At any rate, the reason for building these robots is the giant aliens that keep attacking the planet. The robots-the Evangelion units-are meant to fight these creatures, called Angels, in the most efficient way possible, which happens to be hand-to-hand combat. Because that's how we kill all our giant quasi-Christian alien invaders, you know? Now, on to the interesting bits: Crazy as all this sounds, it actually makes sense. Not only does it make sense, it looks downright incredible. Even the low-budget animation sequences are amazing. And in spite of all this contextual and visual yumminess, there's a surprising amount of depth-drawing heavily on Judea-Christian ideas, as well as such profound thinkers as Freud, Hegel, and probably just about any other German philosopher you could conveniently think of off the top of your head. It's really. in my own opinion, the greatest anime ever created. Johnnies, especially seniors who are currently reading Hegel, should watch it if they can ever get their hands on it-it'll make the weight more bearable. Or maybe unbearable if you get depressed really easily, though I kind of see the ending as happy. \.Taguely. Well, after the marathon, a number of us piled into cars and drove out to the DoubleT Diner, where we consumed various legal substances while discussing anime and video games, and proceeded to go back home, getting in at around 12:30 a.m., if my memory serves me correctly. Then again, I stayed up 'til four laying this article out last night, so it's entirely possible that my memory, in fact, does not. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Jews' Clues continued from page 3 Yours, Xoxo, Amy Youngkin Archon, Pink Triangle Society Dear :Ms. Youngkin: We find your interpretation of Ms. Bargis' comic to be flawed. At no point does she claim Plato was gay, nor is homosexuality indicated as a reason he flashes his audience. While it's unclear exactly what's occurring, what is clear is that the gay community, namely the Pink Triangle Society, is upset by Plato's behavior. This implies that his behavior is unacceptable to them. Therefore the answer to your first question is No: Rachel Bargis does not think all homosexuals are flashers. Therefore your second question is rendered irrelevant. Yes, the SCI can (and likely will) spon~ sor an all-college seminar. ].C. Shalom to Mary Davenport for having an extremely sexy consonant to vowel ratio. Shalom to Chase McPeak. Aaron apologizes for throwing a twister spinner at your face, causing a huge gash thereupon, and then attempting to give him a milkshake to make up for it. (Chase I'vicPeak is lactose-intolerant.) Max would like to Shalom the Alumni Office for having a lovable dog that he can play with when delivering mail. Aaron would like to Shalom Jo-Ann Mattson, who works in the Alumni Office. Earlier this month, Ms. Mattson complimented Aaron's belt. He responded by complimenting her shoes. She then suggested that they switch. Later, behind Aaron's back, she claimed that Aaron was the one to propose the switch, and called him "creepy" for doing so. Ms. _r..,,fattson, let us get together and resolve our differences. Shalom to Kate Sullivan. If you were not our friend, we wouldn't know that there is such a thing as "culture shock hiphop aerobics". Shalom to J-Lowe and Dan Houck. You guys threw an awesome party, and only one of you has a lobster stuffed with tacos as a mother! (It's Dan.) Shalom to Rachael Bargis. Way to bring back the comic strip as an art form. Shalom to Canned Pineapple Chunks for being a thing we can see right now. Shalom to again to those Canned Pineapple Chunks for being "packed in their own juices." by Rachel Bargis ·Top Four Signs You're Talking Too Long in Setnii'IOr" #1: Repe<tted cutting off by the tutor. ~-------------, Obliloosly, my point leo.<:~$._ Thank you. Mo\'lng 011. But I haven't yet-MOVING Sutl "\ #4: Rigor mortis. ... eut If 1""' - ...... .,.1,..... blg;..ogo fh..e wat"d ot::ledrly hazld. IIPON !Stlbf4e u... tt..t co. . . .ly olt«s t1tio ~- j' #3: Projectile$ aimed to the he<td. 6 RmB . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �-------- PSI< Lobby Sock Hop pictures by Jenny Lowe and Alex Lorman . 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . ' . . l �The Best Place to Go For .Running Into a Drunken Birthday Girl in a Tiara Puking in the Bathroom Before 11pomo 0 by Nic Zakheim On Wednesday, the dining hall's warm vegetables were limp green beans and oily cabbage- I went with the green beans, and wrote a letter of complaint. On Thursday, the oily cabbage was in the vegetable soupI had a salad. On Friday, the warm vegetable was steamed broccoli and cauliflower, with, you guessed it, oily cabbage -I had apple butter on a slice of bread. So in honor of things that get old really fast, and are also consistently bad, I decided to review one of the worst restaurant bars in Annapolis, Acme Bar & Grill. I have lived in three different apart- : :;: ments in the King Properties' apartment~ building on 23 Francis Street, all of which < g overlooked Acme at 163 I\ fain Street. On ~ any given night (usually at least 4-5 times~ a week), my roommate and I were inevi- ~ tably woken up by rowdy drunks stum- ~ bling out of the bar. On at least two of~ those nights, the Annapolis police would arrive to disperse the rabble who would either be inflicting damage on Annapolis public property, other people's vehicles, or, when they were doing the world a favor, on each other. They would either be 30-somethings or frat boys with the backwards baseball hats, and there always would be at least one trashy-dressed, bleachedblonde chick screaming her head off and being utterly useless. Acme is also the bar that gets busted most often for underage drinking. So I (who am over 21 and a brunette) decided to go and investigate the bar responsible for my sleepless nights. The first time I went fairly early on a Saturday night, and my girl friend and I had to pay a $5 cover just to walk through the door. Pushing our way into this over packed bar I couldn't see anything through the smoke except the TV screens, and couldn't hear the game because everybody was yelling dnmken gibberish at the top of their lungs. \XIe each paid $5 for a bottle of beer and drank it as socially as we could but that's a bit hard to 8 0 do when I recognized far too many midshipmen from my work at the Naval Academy library. I decided to go to the bathroom on the second floor, which was a battle in and of itself, and ran into HER. The overly-glittery poorly made-up fake blond with the too short shirt and skirt and the TIARA, worshipping the porcelain goddess of the dirty Acme bathroom. I was too scared to ask how old she was, so I just washed my hands and let her friend come in and deal with her, and lead her back downstairs for another drink. The second time I went by myself on a Wednesday night, with the hope that the bar might be just a little bit calmer. That time I wasn't even carded. The scene, unfortunately, was exactly the same, only with a slightly older crowd. In the bathroom was yet another tiara-ed woman, but whose birthday was definitely somewhere around 40, which was so pathetic, I just had to turn around and leave the bar entirely. I figured that it was about time to actually try the food, since they did, at one time, try to boast that they had the best burgers in Annapolis. I went with a guy for a Sunday brunch-type thing, figuring that that would be the time to get the best service, and I was sort of in the mood for a Bloody Mary. Well, the service sucked. The waitress . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . was unpleasant, totally forgot about us even though the restaurant was hardly half full, never refilled our waters, and brought the food out to us cold. Now, for the "dining" experience. The Bloody Maries had so much celery salt, I could barely taste the tomato juice, let alone even guess how much (or how little) alcohol was in there. We weren't able to finish even one of them between the two of us. For the food, I had a bowl of the creamy tomato soup ($4), a house salad ($6), and two eggs over easy ($3, I think). He had the Acme burger ($6.50) with sauteed mushrooms (50 cents). All the food came out lukewarm. The soup tasted like a can of tomato paste heated up with some milk. The house salad consisted of iceberg lettuce,limp tomatoes and one or two cucumber slices. And the eggs were cold, had been done on the grill, and were all oily. Gross. The best burger in Annapolis was something frozen that had been grilled back to a wet, floppy existence on a damp bun, topped with mushrooms that had been dropped in the deep fryer. The fries that came with the burger were a combination of fries that had been sitting in the deep fryer for far too long, and fries that had been tossed in two minutes beforehand and weren't done yet. It seemed like it would have been more appropriate to serve the burger and fries in a shallow bowl rather than on a plate, it was all so limp and runny. While not wanting to completely penalize the waitress for the crappy eats and experience, the tip had to be adjusted slightly after she kept my card hostage for 20 minutes while we sat outside with the dirty plates, the awful Bloody l\1aries, and the water glasses that didn't even have ice in them any more. Luckily I had fairly good company to compensate for the bad experience. Conclusion: Places that look likes***, attract s***ty people, and claim despite all this to have the best of anything, are not to be trusted or tried. �Love continued from page 4 ever other idiosyncrasies make you you, and you will have to watch as their face falls, as though you've wounded them, personally. You might be able to keep the mystique going for a while if you're clever, and largely unobtainable, but it will beI'm going to quote Tennessee Williams, here, because I love him and I have no one to write sonnets plagiarizing him to -"the victory of a cat on a hot tin roof." It won't last. Be wary. So, then, if you can't write poems how can you enter into a relationship with someone? I've heard some really bizarre ploys, and I think I've come up with an approach. Here's how yon do it. Say, "I liked your point about such-and-such in seminar. You always seem really interesting. Would you like to go out and get a cup of coffee with me sometime?" And they may reply, "actually, I prefer tea, and am sickened that you would even suggest coffee to a person of my refined sensibilities, you freak of nature." But the odds are probably against that. In fact, I'd say the odds are probably about 70% that they will take you up on your offer even if they have never thought about you before. Which may surprise people, as I think there's a widely held fear dating back to sometime around sixth grade that you will ask someone out, and they will laugh at you and then tell all their friends, who will also laugh at you. Rubbish. No one around you is twelve. People are polite. People - I don't think - relish making other people uncomfortable, and, if nothing else, it's only coffee. If anyone did respond to your nice request by laughing and pointing it is they who would be treated with derision, not you. The 30% that decline probably have a reason that has nothing to do with you. So, go out, have coffee. And, if you actually enjoy their company, you can go on another date. And then another. Eventually, you may end up in a relationship. And you'll have done it without incredibly elaborate ploys or love poetry. And, of course, there is a distinct possibility that it will end badly. And it will hurt. But that doesn't make it worth holding with the popular Johnnie notion that you're utterly above medi11g a relationship. You'll find that, even if the end is ghastly, you'll recover with quite astonishing speed (making up silly anthropomorphic descriptions of the state of your soul helps considerably.) And really, the only way to completely protect ourselves from pain entails never knowing pleasure, either. So if there is someone you're pining over, please, just ask them out. Do it today. Do it without poems. Do it without any elaborate ploys about how, if you can only get your beloved into a situation that involves the Eiffel Tower and 12 Brazilian spider monkeys with typewriters and the complete works of Alfred, Lord Tennyson you can work it so that they will love you forever (your beloved, not, presumably, the spider monkeys, though I imagine they too would be quite moved). Just do it. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. What's more, you have the opportunity to blame it entirely on this article. Sail Picnic Saturday September 17 pictures by Alex Lorman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �Ptolemy Stone Readings by ]en Silgals Staff Psychic Aries (I'c!arch 21-April19): Now is not the time for to be serious. The sun is shining and the air is warm now, but winter is fast on its way (thank goodness!). Take advantage of the warm weather while it lasts. Trust me, you'll have plenty of time to be bored later. Question of the week: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Taurus (April20-May 20): Some people are incredibly observant. Others seem to constantly miss everydllng. Work on really seeing things this week. Use your eyes and ears to truly connect with the things around you. Question of the week: Why are they called "Objectivists"? Gemini (I'c!ay 21-June 20): Don't rely on others to make your decisions for you tllls week. OR maybe you should ... OR maybe don't even listen to me at all. You're your own person. Figure it out on your own. Question of the week: What does the square root of negative two really entail, anyway? Cancer Qune 21-July 22): The stars foretell a pretty mellow week for you Cancer folk. Go with the flow, and life will be good. Just make sure you don't go all lazy on us. [Insert something about a tortoise or a hare here.] Question of the week: What ifThey cloned all the major hair bands of the seventies and eighties and created an untiring Army ofRock and then cloned all the major long-haired bands of the sixties and seventies and created an untiring Anny ofDude? Whose side would you be on? Leo Quly 23-August 22): Remember to take your vitamins tills week. I foresee feast-or-famine in Cafe Randall for your unlucky Leos. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I guess that's life. Remember, there's always PB'n'J. .. 10 Question of the week: What makes things beautiful? Virgo (August 23-September 22): Sometimes, people are really dumb. \V'hen dumb people infest your life this week, I suggest you simply smile and nod until they go away or get smarter... Or watch "Get Smart" until things start to make sense. Just don't start talking into your shoe. Question of the week: W'hat would you like for you birthday, if everything were available to you? [Besides, of course, world peace.} Libra (September 23-0ctober 22): The 'rents probably slipped you twenty over the weekend, so why not buy something this week, just for yourself? ... Give in to your capitalist urges... You know you want to... mmm ... Capitalist fooooood ......... Question of the week: You ask the questions. \X'hat are the answers? Aquarius Qanuary 20- February 18): No skateboarding is allowed on tl1e stone area between the Library and Paca-Carroll House. All violators of this rule will be subject to prosecution and severe chastisement. Question of the week: \Xlhat exactly is the Internet? Scorpio (October 23-November 21): In some areas of the world, tourists are forewarned not to drink the local water. In some locales, this is a warning for health reasons. In others, it is a way to sell more sodas. Keep this in mind. Question of the week: If you were Adam and God told you to name all the animals, what would you call the platypus? Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Event Hon'zon is probably the worst movie I've ever seen. Not only did it end horribly, make me wanna barf, and give me nightmares, it also cost me $3.50 at Blockbuster. Don't make that kind of mistake this week. Question of the week: \Vhat is justice? Capricorn (December 22-J anuary 19): Don't rearrange people's stuff, as cluttered as they may be. All it does is render the person you were trying to help unable to find his math book. Don't give advice tills week. Don't try to change anyone's mind. Don't do any propositions in Math (Okay, fine, Mr. Umphrey, they can do ONE each.). Listen intently. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Question of the week: Cake or pie? Pisces (February 19-IV!arch 20): Before diving into College Creek, remember the following: 1. It hasn't really rained in several weeks. 2. The creek is pretty den1 polluted. 3. Security doesn't like swimmers. 4. There may or may not be jelly fish, snakes, eels, sharks, and/ or Deep Six mines in the water. [It's a metaphor...} Question of the week: What is your favorite color? \Vhy? Othello continued from front page scenes together. 1,fr. Petrich compared that time, as well as the current production's work, to a science lab. "We're trying to discover the truth of the play, and one way to look at it is that the script must be 'finished' by how we choose to perform it," he said. 1fr. Williamson also assessed the overall performance in relation to the academic program, praising the opportunity to work with students in an atmosphere more formal than a social gathering, but less so than a seminar or tutorial. The show, directed by 11r. Brian Jones, will run all weekend. All students are en~ couraged to attend. �The Frenzied Fans of Serenity by Daniel Schwartz \Vhen asked for a one sentence description of his feature film debut, which hits theaters in just ten days, Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire S /a;'er, described S ere11ity as either "a sci-fi action drama about the price of freedom" or "Citizen Kane with spaceships." "I could go either way," he said. The Week/y Standard, meanwhile, describes Firej(y, the quickly cancelled television series on which Sere11ity is based, as "Star Wars, if Han Solo were the main character, and he still shot Greed a first." Why did a series which, according to \Vhedon, "was instantly hailed by critics as one of the most canceled shows of the year" give rise to a forty million dollar motion picture? In 2002, fourteen episodes of Fireffywere made; eleven of them aired. Now, three years later, there is a good chance that Serenity will be the first movie in a trilogy. "They tried to kill us ... they did kill us ... and here we are. We have done the impossible, and that makes us mighty," Whedon said to his fans in a taped message before the pre-screenings of the film. And the fans of Firef!J are many. In I\iay and June Universal arranged a total of seventy pre-screenings of a nearly finished version of the film; almost all of them sold out within hours or even minutes of going on sale. (I am happy to have attended a screening in Miami.) I\1any of the screenings sold out before anyone even announced that they would take place, meaning that fans did detective work in order to get the opportunity to see an early cut. What is it about this show and this film that makes people so fanatical? Firef!J tells the story of a small crew on a spaceship captained by 1V[alcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion). He used to be a sergeant in the war against the Alliance, a fascist government that was expanding from world to world. The Alliance won the war, and Mal bought an old, rickety spaceship so that, however far the Alliance may spread out, he could fly a little bit farther. "You can't take the sky from me," we hear in the show's theme song. To keep fuel in the tank and food on the table, he robs from the Alliance and other groups who obtain their wealth by force. In this twist to the Robin Hood tale, the crew robs from the unjustly rich and sells to the unjustly poor, though it sometimes takes other sorts of jobs, such as transporting cargo or ferrying passengers. Two such passengers turn out to be fugitives on the run from the Alliance. The film Serenity continues where the series leaves off, but familiarity with Firefly is unnecessary for following the story, which is artfully self-contained. (Still, you will enjoy the film even more if you have seen the series, so either buy the DVD set on Amazon for thirty dollars or talk to me and I will gladly let you borrow it.) In stark contrast to many other science fiction worlds, that of Fireffy is realistic. While I can enjoy good fiction that happens to include inexplicable faster-thanlight speed travel (satirized in Spacebal!s by the experimental "ludicrous speed") or endless numbers of aliens with bumpy heads, I especially enjoy the reality of the Firefly universe. Here there are no aliens whatsoever and nobody travels at light speed. Instead, all of the action takes place within one solar system, which contains many inhabited worlds only because most of the planets and moons have been terraformed to make their conditions more earthlike. The stories in Firef!J and S ereniry are stories about real people in a realistic world, not about bumpy-headedemotionless-people or about humans who have the resources that only a fictional character could have. I can suspend my disbelief as well anyone; but as someone who lives in this non-fictional world, I find that Firefly means much more to me than Star Trek ot Star Wars. A lot of writers out there purport to write realistic fiction; by this label, they more often than not mean any fiction which copies its characters and situations from the real world with the minimum of authorial manipulation or selectivity. To the extent that these authors find some selectivity necessary, they choose to write about that which is common. Are most people lazy? Then one's characters ought to be lazy. Aren't there very few real-life heroes? Then heroes have no place in fiction. Fireffy's realism is of a completely different kind. Of the nine regular characters in the show, in fact, at least seven are heroes. What does Mal do when someone tries to shoot at him from behind a horse? He shoots the horse. What does he do when an assassin says that he is unarmed and just wants to talk civilly? He immediately draws his gun and fires. What does Book, a missionary who came aboard the ship as a passenger, do when his friends are in danger? He points out that the Bible does not prohibit shooting at people's kneecaps, and he joins a firefight. Firef(y's heroes are idols that we can look up to. But unlike the quixotic heroes presented in such films as The Passion of the Christ or Spiderman, these people actually belong here beside us. They can and do exist-and succeed. This is the reason that people love them. This is the reason that Firef!J can turn you into a fan overnight. Do not be surprised if, on September 30, you find yourselflaughing at a movie screen-and not because Serenity is full of jokes (although, in fact, it is). You will laugh out of sheer joy; you will laugh out of love. Because the world of Serenity's heroes is our world-as it ought to be. SJC BII<E AUCTION An occasional auction of abandoned bicycles and other lost items. October 5, 2005 3:45p.m, Alumni House Lawn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 11 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Mens' Sports by Ara Geukgeuzian Staf f Writer The Waves will play better, but still retage. Botl1 teams struggled on offense, with interceptions 011 botl1 sides, and a Sam Scott main winless (though not witless) The Spartans will have a key upset, but fumble recovery taking a touchdown from ilie - Wednesday, September 1~ Guardians. On the last play of the first half, a finish nnder the .500 mark Druids v. GreenWaves 1l1e Druids will give tl1e ofuers a run Spartan interception went all d1e way down the After suffering a huge loss to the Hustlers, field to break tile scoreless stasis. The Guardians for tl1eir money, but ultimately fall short who nearly shut tl1em out, the Druids took their fought back, getting a iliird-quarter touchdown, The Hustlers will still perform, but be anger and frustration out on the idolatrous but failing to take tile lead with a two-point con- denied the gold by a tough loss Canaanites (or, as we call them today, the version attempt. The Spartans still held them at The Guardians won't go 8-and-0, but GreenWaves). James i'.·fyers barely stayed in bay, until, with a couple plays left to stave off come through in the clutch to be the champs bonnds to make a boss interception, James fueir first loss, tile Guardians found a Sam of The O ther Football: Wrigley break-danced to avoid a tackle and their own-Hitchcock-Tilton- in the end -Snnday, September ~ waltzed into tl1e end zone, and Matt McLean zone-witll tile football-taking the lead- for Spartans 3, Guardians 1 intercepted a pass-well, almost The Druids good. Druids 5, Waves 0 played solid all around, getting another touch1" 2nd 3rd 4'h Final -Snnday, September 11down and then downing an onside kick to end Spartans 0 7 0 0 Hustlers 3, G uardians 1 7 the first half. A fter missing one interception, G uardians 0 0 6 6 12 Waves 3, Spartans 2 Giovanni Smedley came right back and caught All right, you guys, here's a few words about First Half Standings: another. Even 'Goat' McLean had a long carry Johnny Soccer this year: Team W L PF PA AGS 4QS and a touchdown catch. Finally, the Druid de- Guardians 4 0 81 38 20-9 20-0 The Druids look good, real good. Drexler + fense shut the Waves down, turning a trick play Hustlers Can tine + Wrigley = Tight Defense. The Spar3 1 105 61 26-15 14-19 into a safety, and putting the nail in ilie coffin Druids tans and tl1e Waves will cllallenge them (as well 2 2 61 54 15-13 23-14 wiili big interception s from Rory Williams and Spartans as each other), though. Hanover, Li'l Russell, 1 3 72 73 18-18 15-12 Garrett Drexler. Brigh t, and the rest will keep the boys in blue GreenWaves 0 4 30 123 8-31 0-27 1" 2"" 3rd 4th Final W=Wirls; L =Losses; PF= Points For; strong, while the Waves will bring out Mangold, Druids 0 14 0 9 23 Krueger, Claxton, and maybe even Shahrigian. PA= Poirlts Against; Waves 00 00 0 AGS=Average Game Score; 4QS=Fourth The Hustlers will deploy two Russells, a D obbyn, Spartans v. G uardians a Fleming and the Fuzz, but still have some Quarter Score (fotal) The golden souls left their ''11:.' game at the Want a glimpse into the future? Ara proph- tough fights in store. And the Guardians, who polis, and the Spartans sought to take advan- esies about tile second half: dominate football (tllat's right, Charlie, we are .--- - - - - -- - - -- - - - -- - - - - - - - -- - -- - - - - --,the Greatest Show 0 11 Turf), will have a much harder time witl1 jutbrfl, though a bumper crop of freshman will aid D yer and Wilford in fueir struggle. Athletes of the Week DATE DUE bsoff 1 } M Rieder r. 12 Miss McBride . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . F~g: & l~ave � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 4 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-09-21 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 4 of The Gadfly. Published September 21, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.4 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/960005a5ac0608caca3d4dd655bfd0db.pdf 40d0e8b284e36cc22d923da860d2d136 PDF Text Text T GADFLY The St. Johns College Student IV"eekfy Volume XXVII, !Jsue 5 Annapolis, Maryland Ottober 4, 2005 Homecoming 2005 by Aaron Berwick Roberts Staff Writer "We studied to show/ those unwelcoming men/ that women could do it/ better than them," concluded the class of 1955's toaster in her poem delivered at the Homecoming banquet October 1, 2005. September 30 to October 2 brought home multitudes of reminiscent alumnae to their alma mater. Featured prominently in the festivities was the Class of '55, returning for their 50th Reunion-a class whose history embodied Homecoming 2005's theme of "Celebrating Coeducation at St. John's." Charles Nelson's ('45) Friday night lecture, "In the Beginning ... The Genesis of the St. John's Program, 1937," launched Othello Review by Rachel Bartgis Staff Writer Otbe!lo, performed by the tutors and students of St. John's in place of the lee~ ture on Friday the 2Yd of October, as well as Saturday the 24rh, with a final performance on October 1 •t, was excellent. Othello as played by Mr. Williamson of Greek manual fame was noble ~nd upright, truly a character who was a victim of loving too much. Against Othello's honesty Iago oozed so much evilness that I'd be afraid to meet l\Ir. Petrich, the tutor who played him, in person. The other actors and actresses performed well no matter the size of their part, though some of the student performers spoke too quickly. Though the cast did not use body mikes it was easy to understand the dialogue, which flowed easily and was untarnished by anyone try- ing to put on a British accent. It was obvious everyone knew their lines very well. The minimalism of the sets detracted nothing from the performance, with scene changes easily signaled by appropriate changes in the lighting. The costumes were excellent, and the swordplay was exciting and well-coordinated. Both the tragedy and the humor of the play came through clearly, with Shakespeare's bawdy innuendos causing the audience to laugh and cheer at the appropriate times. Yet, when Othello made his final speech I found myself completely caught up in the emotion of the play, my hand over my mouth. I had not seen Othello before, didn't know the ending, and was on the edge of my seat in the final act. 1\,fy first taste of theater at St. John's was satisfying, and I look forward to forthcoming theatrical productions. Homecoming 2005. Thereafter, alumnae ranging from the recent (Class of 2000) to the ancient (Class of 1932) exchanged stories and personal histories over brunches, lunches and dinners on campus, at the President's House, and elsewhere. Before noon, Saturday morning, alumnae took part in one of 24 seminars, led by volunteer tutors and other alumnae. Topics for discussion ranged from Charlie Chaplin's Modem Times to Plato's Me no. \Vholly enthusing for some, while humbling for others, seminar reminded Jack Carr ('50) of those former peers that "just went on and on," eager to demonstrate the depth of their wit and knowledge. Over the weekend, Tylden Streett's ('50) recently completed busts of Stringfellow Barr and Scott Buchanana were unveiled. Additionally, the college exhibited California-resident and alumna, Priscilla Bender-Shore's ('55) series of diptychs in the pendulum pit of 1\-fellon. Homecoming continued on page 3 �THE ...-GADFLY SCIMnutes Don Rag Info by Liz Curry Editors-in-Chief Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Photographers Clark Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Rachel Bartgis Aaron Berwick Roberts Reenie Craven Stacey Goguen S.P.Huckins Mark McClay Liz Cuny Erikk Geannikis Leo Pickens DanRera Victoria Smith Ara Geukgeuzian NicZakheim Minutes for Thursday, September 22, 2005 The first meeting of the Student Committee on Instruction was held in the Private DiningRoom on Thursda}; September 22, 2005. Present were Erica Beall, Paul Wilfonl (Co-Chairs),liz Cuny (Secretary), and recently elected representatives . Alicia Elkins (Sophomore Representative), Rob Hurs~ lVIike Croker (junior Representatives), Chris Utter andErikk Geannikis (Senior Representatives). The Committee disrussed sub-committee topics for the year. Four were tentatively agreed upon: 1) Student Handbook Revision/Review,2) ReviewofSCPsPurposeandE!I'ectiveness,3) Student-Tutor Relations and 4) Minority Recruitment at St. John's College. The Committee resolved to strongly encourage the direct involvement of members of the polity in these ~ub--conunit­ tees. Each sub--committee will be responsible fora lunchtime forum, a Gat#} article and a repottto the Instruction Committee concerning its topic ofdiscussion. Representatives should mail a plan and outline for their respective sub-committees to I'v!r. W!lford and M& Beall by Monday, September 26. Pounded in 1980, the Godffy is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Vi::;itors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within arc the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadf!Jo staff. The Gadjfy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way m:ccssary to publish the most thought- ful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadffy is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 The upcoming Forum on the Four Principles set out in the Student Handbook will be the responsi- bility of the Student Handbook Review oub-committee Oed by Mr. Geannikis and l'dr. Hurst). The tentativedateisThursday,October6. TheSerninar on Seminars, set for Tuesday, October 4, will be organized by Mr. Wllford and Ms. Beall. Regularity of meetings was also discussed. It was agreed thatwhileweeklymeetings may not be absolutely necessary,M& Beall and 11L Wllfonl will always make themselves available in the Private Din- ing Room on Thursdays at lunch to field questions/concerns from the polit)~ Next week's agenda: the Student Committee on Instruction's Ouuter, and further clarification and solidification of sub-committees. The Student TO: All Freshmen, Sophomores, and Juniors FRO:tvi: Reenie Craven, Registrar This is to remind you that first semester don rags will be held on: Saturday, November 19 9:00 a.m.*- 6:00 p.m. Monday, November 21 9:00a.m.*- 6:00p.m. Tuesday, November 22 9:00a.m.*- 6:00p.m. Wednesday, December 14 9:00a.m.*- 6:00p.m. Thursday, December 15 9:00a.m.*- 5:00p.m. Please note the dates on your calendar and keep the time free for don rags. It would be wise not to make travel plans that conflict with any of these dates and times. Thanksgiving Vacation begins at 6:00p.m. on November 22, and Winter Break begins after seminar on December 15. All freshmen must have their don rags before Thanksgiving break. We will schedule some sophomore and junior don rags before the Thanksgiving break and the remainder before Winter break. Tutorials and laboratories will be cancelled on don rag days. However, tutors may schedule classes during this time. Seminars will continue to meet. Please note that Seminars will meet on Thursday, December 15. * On rare occasions, we may have to schedule don rags beginning at 8:30 a.m. CommitteeonlnstructionmeetsThursdaj~atl1:45 a.m. in the Private Dining Room...A.ll members of the polity are welcome to attend Upcoming SCI Forum The SCI will be holding a forum on the four principles of Civility, Responsibility, Honesty, and Citizenship, stated in the Student Handbook on p.32 as premises for the "Rules of the College Community" section. The forum will be held on Thursday, October 6m at noon in the Private Dining Room. How do these four notions serve as the backbone for community life at St. John's? How might a governing body responsible for matters of practical judgment employ these principles in lieu of a rigorous, condition-based disciplinary code? All are encouraged to attend. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �The Dirty Scjences by Dan Rera Staff Writer The senior class is finally finished widi Hegel. We survived a whole month of 9-page seminar readings which took more than five hours to complete. Students were stymied; seminars were slowmovin!} U nderclassmen can witness dus phenomenon by asking a senior to "explain what Hegel says." Because Hegel was so dense and incomprehensible, questions surrounding his validity went entirely unasked. The question wasn't, is Hegel correct? It was, am I understanding him correctly? There is no dUng wrong with making sure that one understands any book. In fact, Johnnies spend such litde time on each program book (with the exception of perhaps Ptolemy), that we are probably not qualified enough to make a well iliought out judgement concerning validity. I do not m ean to say that d1ese judgments shouldn't be m ade, only that any good student ought to know e.xacdy what is being said prinlarily and recognize d1at these judgments about truth will necessarily be hasty. Now that H egel is over, one would clUnk that tiUs lesson is learned and that we wouldn't reveJ.t Homecoming continued from front page T h roughout the weekend, though, the tone appeared to return to the theme of women at St. John's, as the speaker for the Class o f 1990 exclaimed, Saturday night: "I'd like to share in celebration of women w h o paved the way for me." Some 31 years after women gained suffrage in the United States of A m erica, St. Joh n's College began admitting fema le students. Traditional male ch auvinism's opinion tha t wom en were simply constitutionally unfit for serio u s study was not absent from even the erudite St. John's campu s, as Carolyn E . Banks Leewenbu rgh ('55) writes, "There is no doubt the gen eral feeling that women REALLY could not abso rb the true meaning of the St. J ohn's Program prevailed, not only with th e older male students, but with a subs tantial amount of the facu lty." Neverilieless, th e naivete of tho se firs t admitted may have blinded them to this p ainful reality, as Barbara Kiebler ('55) remarked, "I was quite young. I wasn't aware of the tension. It never occurred to me that I would be discriminated again st. " back to d1e freshman state of thoughdess denial, "I just don't agree." Every year there is a troop of freshmen that, instead of trying to understand what Socrates is saying, devote their time to showing why his arguments are sophistical. And apparently the same dling happens with Marx senior year. Everyone has an opuuon about Karl Marx, even those who have no t read him. H egel is different. Why? It could be that, while metaphysics and other speculative philosoplues are u1teresti.J1gand constandy evolvmg, there is very litde at stake concerning their truthfulness. Do you believe in monadology? Do you clUnk man will ever gain access to the transcendental object x? Does it matter? Hobbes points out diat nonpractical sciences are a little power because knowing d1em will only gain the respect of a small portion of the populace, those able to underst,md ilie science. Practical sciences, on fue oilier hand, have a certain utility that makes their being known a greater source of power. Economics is a perfect e.xample ofsuch a science. \Vhile tl1is may describe wh y governments would offer more grant money to people studying econornics and political science and less to tl10se studymg metaphysics, it does not explain why students at St. John's, a school more appropriately found on the floating island ofLaputa, would be sensitive to tiUs distinction. In fact, dUs consideration may explain the judgmental faux-auiliority surrounding practical sciences. Underlying snap judgments concemi.J1gpolitical theory and economics is the belief that iliey are somehow easier and less relevant. The belief is that fuese sciences are so easy to understand and master d1at we can skip straight to debating their m erit and validity. But dus is certainly not true. I have listened to fellow students affirm or deny versions of Hobbes, Locke, Rou sseau, Srnitl1, and Marx d1at do not at all resemble what each respective auilior has written. I pomt d1ese dlings out not to say iliat metaphysics is less i.Jnportant or that political theory is more-so. Moreover, I don't clUnk that people should judge metaphysics as hastily as they do political theory. I offer mstead a plaintive request to tl1e St. John's community to place a more critical eye on d1e aforementioned authors and reserve judgment until we have a firm grasp of die subject at hand. Remember that some people spend d1eir whole lives on tl1ese books and never arrive at such a conclusion. Dean Jacob Klein-to whom all students refer as "J ash a"-was perh aps the most vocal proponent of fema le students, but his good -hearted optimism d id nothing to quiet the anxiety of a puritan and proper Ann apolis faculty and staff. Wom en were essentially segregated to third- and secondfloor Randall Hall, where they were watched carefully by a careful faculty, ever-inventive o f n ew rules and procedures regulating the interactjon of the two sexes. "Th e adminis tration was very fea rful: m en and women on ca mpu s c r eated a prob lem," said Kiebler. Chuckling over her double-entendre, Kiebler added, "The main problem on th e campus-in all .renses of the wo rd- was intercourse between m en and wom en." 0 f the class of 1955, 48 women matriculated, 13 graduated, and 20 females returned for the reunion (which seems like strange arithmetic until you con sider that one may be an alumna by virtue o f matriculation). Despite recounting the woes of being female in a predominantly male (and hostile) atmosph ere, the fem ales of the class of '55 were altogether positive, as typified by Kiebler: "\'7hen I got out of St. J o hn's, I reaped the b ene fits o f the educa- tion . I got into the defense indu stry and was quite successful." Nevertheless, the women of the Class of 1955 uniformly appear to assent to a kind of masculinity that the St. John's education ostensibly exudes. "I think I came out of [St. John's] with a masculine world view, and I think that had a lot to do withJash a Klein's emphasis on the Platonic tradition," Kiebler said. Current student and freshm an, Tabiilia Silver concurs with Kiebler, concerun g that "I n s ti tutionalized education has a m ale wo rld view attached to it." Responding to th e mention of Virginia Woolf, Silver retorts th at fem ale authors are few and far between. Friend and fellow first-year, Meggie Benson added, "Reading books by white males means getting a white male perspective, in a sense." Silver suggested that we might mitigate this unfortunate disparity i.n gender equality Hom ecoming 2005 culminated in a banquet on back campus Saturday night. ..c\n aged, Roland Bailey ('35), jovially ended die toasts with the half- facetious remark, "On beh alf of the class of '35, let me congr atulate all of us here in h aving lived in accordance with ilie pllliosoph y of R abelais." . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 I I I �Concert Review: Bach and Stravinsky in the Great Hall by Mark McClay Staff Writer Igor Stravinsky and J.S. Bach are two composers whom one rarely encounters on the same program; but last week, St. John's was treated to a Sunday chamber music recital which not only paired the two composers, but did so with two works which are not often heard in concert: Bach's C-major Orchestral Suite, and Stravinsky's L'Histoire du Soldat. The performance was by Inscape, arecenrly formed chamber orchestra which is based in Annapolis. lnscape's director, Richard Scerbo, said that the purpose of the ensemble "is to provide our audience with a unique and relevant musical experience by presenting concerts that blend lesser-known works with familiar standards." In addition to this commitment to innovative programming, the group seeks to "defy the stereotype that classical music is stale and out of touch with modem audiences." This was evident at a number of points during Sunday evening's concert, not the least of which was the conductor's practice of speaking to the audience prior to each piece on the program, providing some preparatory explanation of the music for the benefit of the layman (one wonders why this simple yet effective practice is not more prevalent). Bach's four orchestral suites, like many of his instrumental works, are written as collections of dance movements. For some reason, they are seldom heard in concert; and when they are played, it is nearly always by large orchestras which are simply unable to convey an appropriately chamber-like sense of the music (such performances all-too-frequently achieve the same unintended effect of Stokowski's bloated Bach transcriptions, which often sound more like parodies than arrangements). Thankfully, Inscape's lean nine-man ensemble encountered no such difficulties; from beginning to end, it was clear that the musicians were mindful of the elegant contrapuntal wit and rhythmic vigor which are always present in Bach's dance music. In the opening Overture -whose somber outer sections serve as contrasting bookends to a vivacious central fugue - the ensemble showed sensitivity to Bach's subtle manipulation of harmony, instrumen- 4 tal texture, and contrasting tempi; in particular, their transition from the slow, autumnal opening into the brilliant fugue was extremely effective. Throughout the subsequent movements, the ensemble deftly captured and maintained the unique character of each individual dance style- the brisk energy of the Courante, the stateliness of the Gavotte, the poignant lyricism of the Forlane, and so on through tl1e Minuet, Bourree, and Passpied movements. The second half of the program consisted of Stravinsky's L'Histoire du S o!dat (A Soldier's Tale). This odd, wonderful little work was written in 1918 as a sort of miniature ballet, and originally included a narrator (it is a piece to be read, played, and danced, as the score says). On the rare occasions that L'Histoire is performed, it is nearly always in the form of a concert suite which Stravinsky extracted from the original ballet; on this occasion, however, Inscape presented it in its original form, including the narrator (the role was filled by Arthur Allen, a senior at St. John's). It is my own habit to regard any narrated piece as being "guilty until proven innocent'' (suffice it to say that I was forced to hear Peter and the IVo!f a few times too many back in grade school); but in this case, the narration was enormously successful, and it seems that in this form the work would be a great deal more accessible to the average listener. The story is a Faustian fable taken from Russian folk tradition: a soldier returning home has a number of adventures and encounters with a 1.fephistophelean character (suffice it to say that things end badly). Mr. Allen's handling of the narration was nothing short of virtuosic, single-handedly capturing and conveying the theatrical content of the work as a whole.11ost importantly, Mr. Allen managed to do so without unduly distracting the audience from Stravinsky's music. And what music! The score is a colorful, witty, vibrant salmagundi of those qualities that made Stravinsky the greatest composer of his time; this piece (scored for the odd combination of violin, double bass, clarinet, bassoon, trumpet, trombone, and percussion) brilliantly showcases the creative aspects of the many-sided musical alchemist that was Igor Stravinsky. Few composers leave such an unmistakable fingerprint on their work as Stravinsky, and this remains the case even through a dizzying array of different musical styles and dramatic scenes for which writes during the course of the story - we have the quirky, rousing Soldier} March; the intricate violin solo in the Soldier by the Brook; the nervous, disquieting Pastorale; the whirling abandon of the Little Com·erto; the parodistically pompous fanfares in the Royal March; the tangy harmonic twists in the three dances- tl1e sultry Tango, the elegant IV'a/tz, and the jazzy, syncopated Ragtime; and so on to tlie (literally) diabolical finale. Characteristically of the composer, the essence of the musical styles which he imitates -i.e., 1\Jarch, Waltz, Ragtime, etc.- are always apparent; but in every instance it is as if the style has been passed through Stravinsky's own personal filter. Ever the "thieving magpie," Stravinsky assimilates tl1ese styles into his own unmistakable sound, and the result is simply glorious. Of course, even a relatively early work such as this still bears many of Stravinsky's signature compositional touches. It is fascinating to observe Stravinsky's use of motifs in L1-Iistoinr, as is frequently the case in Stravinsky's music, brief melodic fragments reappear throughout, combined, varied and repeated in various permutations. Perhaps the culmination of this particular procedure occurs in the Little Concerto, in which several of Stravinsky's motifs appear in a frenzied repetition; it is as if (as Leonard Bernstein once remarked) the composer has tluown his jagged melodic snippets into a sort of giant musical kaleidoscope, and out of these minimal components he wrings an dazzling array of musical colors and shapes. Throughout the work, the listener is aware of Stravinsky's frequent and repeated use of this and similar compositional artifices; but somehow in Stravinsky's hands the effect never seems stale or cliched. L 'Histoire immaculately showcases Stravinsky's inexhaustibly inventive musical imagination, and the composer's absolute command of his craft. It was not for nothing, after all, that Stravinsky came to be regarded as the greatest composer of tl1e 20th century. Sometimes the conventional wisdom gets it right, after all. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Interview: Mr. Matthew Caswell, Tutor by Mark McClay Staff Writer Mr. Caswell is a graduate of St. ]oh11S College (Annapolis class of 1996); this fall is his first se~ mester as a tutor. He is t'Umntjy teachingjreshman lab, math, and seminar. MJvl: To begin with, tell us a little about your background, in addition to having been to St. Jolm's. 1.fC: My life's story? I was born in Philadelphia, and after St. John's I moved to Boston and went to Boston Univer- MC: It can look like, from the outside, the job is to "withhold" certain answers, so that the students can figure it out for themselves; maybe you point the students in the right direction when you tlllnk they're getting close. .And actually, in a sense, it wouldn't be a terrible class if that was what happened. But that's not really what tutors want to be doing. 1l1e thing you have to get used to doing is to be constandy challenging those answers you think you have, and subjecting them to ques- sity for grad school. I went to the philosophy department; I ended up doing a lot of work on Kant, which took me to Germany for a year, and then I came back and taught for a couple of years at BU. Tvll\.f: Do you have any hobbies, pets, that sort of thing? J\1C: I used to say that I didn't have any hobbies, then someone pointed out to me that I cook a lot~ although I dlink my cooking hobby is subservient to my eating hobby. l\INI: \Xlhat are some of the reasons that you decided to return to St. John's? l-.IC: \Xfell, as far as I know, there is no place where you can have, on a regular basis, a St. John's kind of conversation. The college goes to great lengths to protect and to promote that activity. The idea of going someplace where that's not a part of the culture of the institution, where it's not part of the broader curriculumyou can try to carve out a little space, but it's so incredibly difficult that it might be impossible to have a kind of open philosophical conversation with students. I can count on that happening regularly everywhere here; I don't think there's any other place that you could say that about. Iv:ITv1: How did you think of tutors when you were a student, and how has being a tutor changed d1e way you think about what the tutor's job is? 1.fC: I'd say that the role of the tutor in the classroom is something I really have to think about now; as a student, I didn't dllnk about it that much, nor should students have to worry about it that much. So the things I'm discovering about that are not so much changed perceptions as brand new perceptions. MM: Such as? tions, and opening them up for reflection for the class, because going about it that way is beneficial for everyone involved in a deeper way. I don't think that's the kind of question I worried about too much as a student. 111\1: Does it feel weird somehow to be retuming to the same school, but in a different capacity? MC: No, it doesn't feel weird. One reason for that is that I'm really doing a lot of the same things that the students are doing, almost entirely. So it's not the case that you read Homer once as a freshman and then you're done with it. You may not go back to it again, but you probably didn't finish figuring it out. No, I'm thrilled to be back, to take another shot at some of these things. IVI.i\'1: What observations do you have about the students at the college today? tiC: Tills is one thing my friends who I was in school with ask about. I think in the main, they're exactly the same- sort of the same students, versions of each other. So that's been kind of neat to see. ti£:Iv1: 'W'hat do new tutors normally start out teaching? 1JC: The basic strategy for any tutor is to work through the entire program. TI1at doesn't mean following every course according to a lockstep schedule; you might do a course over again that you want to work on more, and needs shift a little bit. But new tutors almost always start out on freshman courses. And you wouldn't want to miss the references in a sophomore tutorial to what happened last year. MJ\1: Are there any classes you're especially looking forward to teaching? 1IC: I can honestly say that there's notlllng I'm not looking forward to. Differentdays, depending on what we're reading, will make me think of things that I know; we'll accomplish things in freshman math tutorial that will really make me think about my senior math curriculum, or in freshman lab. But is there anything that I'm especially excited to get to? \'V'ell, maybe if I think about it, my work as a grad student and as a scholar mostly concerned 18th century philosophy; so jwlior year it will be really interesting, I dUnk, to in a sense start over with some of these things that I've gotten really familiar with. :NIM: 1.fany of the faculty who were here in 1996 when you were a student are still here; does it feel strange to have them as colleagues now? tJC: No, it doesn't. There were only a handful of tutors that I would say I was "friendly" with as a student, and those relationships are basically the same, basically haven't changed. \Xlhen tutors meet and just talk to each other in the hall- about what happened in lab, what's going to happen in seminar - they're having essentially the same conversations tl1at students are having with tutors now. 1tft\J: So there's really not much new about being a tutor? I'v1C: No- well, except for tl1e Divine Secrets. Those are new. But we can't talk about those. 1.fl\-f: Hmm. I can't ask? MC: You can ask, but to no avail. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Do Not Read This Article by Dan Hera Staff Writer With the constant barrage of hurricanes and open seats in the Supreme Court, it is hard to pay attention to some of the more practical concerns of the United States. The one concern that perhaps effects the most people in the most concrete way is easily economics. Don't be afraid, this has nothing to do with 1\.filton Friedman or even Adam Smith. I am referring simply to the nomoi of the oikos, the rules of the home. An analogy of household finances ought to illustrate my point. We can all agree that someone with money fares better than someone who is broke, and someone who is broke will do better than someone in debt. This being the case, there is no challenge in understanding why this country leans more to the right than to the left. After all, a conservative, by definition, conserves money, avoiding frivolous spending at all costs (no pun intended). A liberal, on the other hand, takes great liberties in their spending. Since liberalism = big government, and big government = big spending, therefore liberalism = big spending. But, besides seeming plausible, is this true? A few people were concerned when the United States, being engaged in a loosely defined war on terrorism, not only didn't raise taxes, but also cut taxes to the highest class in the country. It is easy to see that one who makes over three million dollars per year is giving more money to the government than one who makes thirty thousand dollars per year. But somehow people thought everything was going to be fine. We increased spending on a war, while decreasing the amount of revenue brought into the government. The analogy to a household would be buying a state of the art security system, while voluntarily taking a job which pays less. A risky move, but a manageable situation. Now that Hurricane Katrina has caused devastating results, leaving thousands homeless and a whole city in complete disrepair, this would seem to be the time to raise taxes. Or, if this is so unacceptable, decrease spending in Iraq. After all, Bush 6 is a conservative, so is congress. Therefore, shouldn't we start conserving? Returning to our house analogy, if the plumbing breaks in the basement, and we were already barely paying for the security system with our newly reduced wages, wouldn't the responsible thing be to get a better paying job? While nobody likes tax hikes, don't we need them? Bush is a lame duck president; Cheney has no desire to run for the presidency. With no fear of losing an election, why wont the administration do what is necessary to get our spending under control. Why wont the conservatives conserve? :Maybe this level of spending is unavoidable. All I have shown is that we aren't saving enough, but maybe a liberal would have made an even bigger mess of the situation. It may be helpful to look back and see, over the last twenty years, who has been the most responsible with the tax payer's money. This will give us an indication of whether or not Bush can really manage all these financial difficulties. During the first four years of Bush II, 1.8 million private sector jobs had been lost. Also, the new jobs that were created payed less. Since 2003, hourly earnings have raised 1.9%, while the consumerprice index has risen 3.3%. This causes the "real price" of all commodities to go up and therefore making the purchasing power of the average citizen to go down. But this could be a sign of Bush's "inherited recession," or the tech bubble bursting, or September 11th. Instead, let us isolate government spending to see who is the most fiscally responsible president in modern times. \Vhen Ronald Reagan became president in 1980, the United States had an annual budget deficit of 73.8 billion dollars. Over the course of eight years, the annual deficit was 155.2 billion dollars. This seems striking. Reagan, a virtual God to the conservative movement, actually doubled government spending. Doesn't this seem strange? lvioreover, Reagan increased spending by about 10% per year. After eight years, this nearly doubles the size of the government. It is easy how the . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . cumulative deficit was well over one trillion dollars. George H. W Bush did not cut spend~ ing either. Like his predecessor, he nearly doubled the annual deficit from $155.2 billion in 1988 to $290.4 billion in 1992. From 1980 to 1992, these two conservative presidents had quadrupled annual government spending. If these men were conservatives, the liberal Clinton must have multiplied the deficit well beyond these figures. Bill Clinton, inheriting a 290.4 billion dollar annual deficit, reduced the annual deficit by about $65 billion per year. Not only was the government not spending more than it had, it was making money, 236 billion dollars per year. This positive revenue could be used for anything from paying off cumulative deficit to fixing certain social programs. How astounding, a liberal cut government spending that was out of control from previous conservative presidents. While Reagan increased spending by 10% (about $59.2 billion) per year, and Bush I increased spending by 7.45% (about $59.5 billion) per year, Clinton only had only accumulated 3.68% ($47.4 billion) per year. On top of all this, Clinton's restraints on the federal payroll reduced the number of federal workers from 2,226,835 in 1992 to 1,784,032 in 2000. The real nail-in-the-coffin is the most recent president, Bush II. One might think that since Bush II inherited an annual budget surplus, he could at least keep the spending from falling into the red. Bush started with a 236 billion dollar per year surplus in 2000 and by 2004 has not only reduced it to a deficit, he reduced it to the largest deficit in United States history. Bush, in his first four years, increased spending by over $110 billion annually. The lesson here is: liberals conserve and conservatives cause big government. Everything associated with the definitions of either of their names is a myth. If you want to conserve, vote liberal. If you want liberal government spending, vote conservative. �---------------- Relax - Read a Children's Book by Rachel Bartgis Staff Writer The Greenfield Library is filled with the timeless classics of Western Literature, in multiple versions and translations, a fraction of the total of the knowledge of our civilization over the past several thousand years. It also has children's books. And if you need a way to relax, the juvenile literature section on the third floor is a great option. The graduate student at the library was the first person who clued me into the fact that children's books were already popular and I wasn't the first person to express joy upon finding the favorites of my childhood. She informed me that Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time books are vetT popular, as well as d1e trilogy, His Dark Matetials by Phillip Pullman. "When asked why she thought these simple books come off the shelf as readily as program books, she suggested nostalgia and relaxation. Sophomore Erin Owens brought her own collection of children's books with her to St. John's, including The Giver, Fairy Tales try Oscar Wilde, and the Madeline L'Engle books. She says that the books are "a nice compliment to all the great books we have to do ... I feel like a lot of their messages are really important. [Children's books] put it in a format that is quick to read but you still get the message." 1vfy roommate admits to harboring a secret love of the Sweet Valley Tw:ins series, and expressed disappointment upon learning that the Greenfield Library does not have this series. I glimpsed several of my childhood favor~ ites on the shelves including, Tales of a FourthGrade Nothing by Judy Blume, Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh, The Cn'cket in Times Square by George Selden, &d1va/l by Jacques, the L'Engle Wtinkle in Time books, and the books of The Dark is Rising series by Susan Cooper. There were also fairy tales by the handfuls, picture books, and a few books in French. For the morbid I recommend Cautionary Tales for Children, a collection of poems by Belloe that relay the gruesome fates of disobedient children in rhyme. The first book that I checked out was Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbit. I'd never read it but had heard that it was a good book (I was also told it was much better than the movie), and I read it before going to bed one night. Tuck Everlasting tells the story of how young Winny Foster met the immortal Tucks, who had been fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to drink from a spring that made d1em immortal. The blessings and curses of inunortality and the motives of the mysterious man in the yellow suit made not only a good read but gave me something to think about before going to bed beside Euclid. Whether you need somedllng to relax with or want to relive your childhood favorites, I recommend making your way to the third floor of the Greenfield Library and checking a book out. Who knows what you'll find! Remember 80s Prom? pictures by Alex Lorman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 ' �Where to go for the Best ... Service? by Nic Zakheim .Ah ... Thai food and a Thai restaurant in Annapolis, finally. Not that I dislike Carlson's Thai Food and Donuts, a shop halfway down West Street, but it's not ex~ actly a fine dining location. Lemongrass, on the other hand, is a fairly new restaurant in town, within walking distance of the college, and part of the attempt to make West Street (at least as far as the Lowe's Hotel) trendy. Located at 167 West Street, Lemongrass offers indoor and outside seating, dining in and carry-out. I went there on a Sunday with Paul Schieffer as my company, and we chose to eat inside since the restaurant cannot serve alcohol outside. The restaurant was not very busy, but there were at least a dozen people sitting inside and eating. \Vhen offered our choice of seats, I opted for a normal height table and real chairs over sitting in the center of the room at higher tables with bar stools- we were there for dinner, after all, not a quick snack. Lemongrass offers sixty-seven different items on its six-page-menu, which includes curries, noodle bowls, and an entire page dedicated to vegetarian foods, which made me very happy. \\!hat didn't make me so happy were the prices, which were a bit dear in comparison to other Thai places I've been to, but pretty much followed the expensive Annapolis dining trend. Our waiter hovered for a while, trying to give dining recommendations, and while I tried to pay attention to what he was saying, I couldn't help noticing that each suggestion he made corresponded to the most expensive items on the menu. \X!hen he heard I was a vegetarian, his face fell a bit, since vegetarian dinner prices go no higher than $10 for dinner. But a second later he bounced back and tried to make elaborate suggestion on an expensive salad or soup to pair with the meal. Grrr .... He was starting to get on my nerves, so I suggested that we just look at the menus on our own and that he should come back in a minute or two. \XIhen he walked away Paul leaned over to me and said "He had a server of the month pin on his shirt!" I nearly burst out laughing right then and there. ''.c\re you serious?" I asked while trying to collect myself. How did he earn that? By patron recommendations, or by gross sales? 8 Anyhow, Paul and I sat around for a while, looking at the menus and chit-chatting, but after a while, it just got a little boring, and my stomach was rumbling. Not to mention the fact that Lemongrass's air-conditioning vents are on the floor, and come out right under the seats of the restaurant full-blast. Suddenly, sandals seemed like a really dumb idea and I started losing feeling in my toes. \Vhere was our waiter? Eventually, he reappeared, and we ordered, or at least tried to. Of course the kitchen was out of rice papers for the fresh garden rolls ($6), so we ended up ordering the lettuce wraps appetizer which cost two dollars more, to our waiter's delight. We each also ordered a glass of the Selbach Riesling ($8), which the wine list described as ''A semi-dry wine with charming fresh flavors that perfectly pairs with Thai spices". Now, I'm not a wine expert, but shouldn't you be able to palate a wine on its own, without having to pair it with spicy food? The wine was far too sweet for me on its own, but it grew on me, especially when I took a sip immediately after taking a bite of food. Back to our waiter of the month. The lettuce wraps were three leaves of iceberg lettuce, with the dish of filling on the side and a couple of slices of cucumber and shredded carrot. All in all, it felt a bit cheap for eight dollars, but Paul and I enjoyed them well enough while sipping the sweet wine that didn't pair with this appetizer so well. The activity did help me reawaken my toes a little bit, though mostly because I was swinging my legs gleefully because I finally was getting something to eat. Oh well, entree time. Our waiter of the month sent out his husser of the month with our entrees while we were still eating the lettuce wraps. \Ve decided not to argue with the timing and just pushed our appetizer plates over onto the next table and let him put down our food. ~-Iy Ka Pow Jae (stir-fried vegetables and tofu, with pepper, garlic, and basil, $10 at dinner) looked a little meager next to the large bowl of white rice that was looming over one side of the plate, but it was warm and food, so I wasn't going to complain too much. It didn't smell particularly spicy, nor did it look it, but there was still some of our appetizer left over on the next table if I wanted to make the meal look a little bigger. (Y"es, the husser left the appetizer dishes on the other table and walked away after he brought us our food) I can't say much about Drunken Noodles with chicken (also $10) that Paul ordered, except that they looked wet and slippery, but a little overdone, and also not particularly sp1ey. Testing the theory that looks can be deceiving, we began to eat cautiously, just in case the food was actually much spicier than it looked. But it wasn't. In fact, overall the food was kind of bland. The sweet Riesling did help emphasize the spices that were there, but I had to maintain a very rigorous wine and food balance in order to avoid overpowering the spices with the wine's sweetness. During the course of the meal, Paul spent a lot of time pushing the noodles around, and I wiggled my toes to avoid feeling like they were getting frostbite. \Vediscussed current affairs, our seminar readings, and the pros and cons of learning Esperanto before learning romance languages and overall had a very good time, but it was a little strange that our waiter of the month didn't come around to check up on us until it was nearly time to collect the check. Lemongrass only offers three deserts, and none of them seemed very appealing at the time, especially with the wine being as sweet as it was, so we got the check. \\Tell, we got it, and then couldn't get rid of it. Paul and I abide by the 20% tip rule, but in this case, I decided to make the exception and go with 15%. Five minutes later, we chugged the last of our sweet wine as desert and were out the door. The feeling came back to my toes several minutes later. All in all, I wouldn't say the dining experience was b-a-d, but it definitely wasn't my favorite time. Lemongrass does not serve authentic Thai food, but it does serve some American version of it, and is a great place to go if you are tired of all the other places to eat downtown. Seriously, with four Italian restaurants, half-a-dozen burger joints, and three sushi bars all in a three block radius, Lemongrass is a breath of fresh air, even though they have temperature control problems and waiters that are eager to spend your money for you and then forget that they have to earn tips. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �A Rational Perspective on the St. John's Network by Samuel Huckins Although it is almost never discussed except in times of malfunction, the network of St. John's, most specifically its connection to internet resources, occasionally becomes a topic of heated commentary. Having worked at the college's IT office for the majority of my time here, and also having the perspective of experiencing the network as a student, I wish to share some thoughts on this issue. I also wish to respond to a few factual inaccuracies and misconceptions in 1vfr. Roberts's most recent article, which, while thoughtful, was an overly lengthy account of the details of a minor incident. Firstly, the faulty Tl card that seems to have caused the problems, is located within Sprint's infrastructure, but is owned by Verizon, the secondary ISP whose name was "not provided". It has not been determined whether the card itself was failing, or whether certain settings on the part of Sprint caused a malfunction. This ambiguity was illustrated when Sprint said that they would test the card. During their tests, external network access was regained, after which a reason was not provided since the case was dropped as soon as the issue was resolved. Although they were helpful in view of the damage done to a portion of their national network hubs by Hurricane Katrina, Sprint never gave satisfactory reasons for the failure, at one point even suggesting that the local card (i.e. one located on the campus) needed to be reseated, claiming that it might have shaken loose .. .in a locked concrete room populated by unmoving metal boxes. These interactions aside, the other incorrect fact in 1\1r. Roberts's article concerned "student lore" of network failures last school year. There were in fact several times that year when the internal network lost internet access. I am not sure from what source 1\-fr. Roberts was able to only obtain confirmation of one such outage, but it was incorrect. The failure he mentioned was, however, the longest and most difficult to track down, being caused by a student who configured his network access in an unapproved way that led to widespread network difficulties. This was exacerbated by said student's unwillingness to alter his conflguration. But the theme which was merely hinted at in 1-Jr. Roberts's article and which needs to be more strongly expressed is the state of internet access as a priority in a polity such as St. John's. Firstly, internet access is not required by a participant in the St. John's program. In fact, it seems that the only college function that could be argued as requiring internet access is the college's official business. Regular communications with our sister campus occur mainly through VPNs (Virtual Private Networks, which form secure transmission channels within the public internet). In addition to this, E-mail communications with prospective students, alumni, and other groups increase the efficiency of the college's outside interactions. But there is no requirement for students to have internet access. Not to sound hypocritical, I will immediately admit that I use the internet everyday, and enjoy the privilege of having access to this wonderful resource. I use it to communicate with friends and family, do business, perform research, and keep abreast of current events. But I qua St. John's student do not require these privileges. It seems that some fellow students may disagree with this position, however, such as the distraught freshmen crying out in anonymity about "all those flashy things pop[pingJ up". Now, whatever that actually meant, I assume its point was that not having internet access was a gravely regrettable thing. But St. John's students would do well to keep in mind the following points: 1) We are a very small, liberal arts college with no academic interest requiring knowledge of the "outside world" in the sense of current events. 2) Access to the internet is thus a privilege and benefit, not a right or need. 3) Usefulness aside, Internet access to students rare!J goes down through the academic year, and when it does, it is rarely down more than a few days. Having lodged these complaints, I would also like to make a suggestion which may be of use. It is true in a certain sense that the IT office is understaffed. I mean in the sense that if the college network is supposed to be a high-speed commercial network with guaranteed availability, then the IT office is woefully understaffed. But this is, quite clearly, 110! the purpose of our network. The more complaintive freshman and upperclassmen would do well to peruse the IT Student Handbook in its discussion of the network's function, or simply employ their own reason and civility. But, if enough students do indeed desire more reliable and faster internet access, they could, in fact, purchase their own connection and pay for their own ISP, whether on or off campus. As stated in college literature, students are permitted to have phone lines installed in their rooms, albeit at their own expense. Or if a more centralized solution is desired, to implement, e.g. more monitoring and quicker response on the part of administration, then perhaps a technology fee could be instituted. The cost of a St. John's education is rather astronomical to begin with, so it seems that an additional $100-200 per year per student would be barely noticed. This is a possibility, however, which would require further discussion and a strong consensus before being instituted. I merely claim that it does not seem like a ludicrous impossibility. Perhaps if forums for such discussion were to occur, more general issues as to students' desire for the network's development could be voiced and considered. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �Gadffy Funny Pages •Oft-eeompus housing, anyone?" Roehel Bartgis Ungh, horder, Sarah, harder! Don't stop now! Keep on Wow, that W<lS one really stuck pickle jar lid. going! 0 0 THE RUNNING·DRINKING CLUB OF ANNAPOLIS --y- During a Writers· Bloc meeting... an event... ... was witnessed. One quier Sunday afternoon.... () By: S. Goguen, inspired by true events GILLIAM o''X"~ .--~x-r~ --,~what"s that?! I need a nap. oreas mac. Drinking? Uke, Are we influencing the local community? Or are they out-Johnnying us? H20? :C '[):1:(), !.vT ~ t.:AN"T DRAW ~"b 1-\I'O'S P<n '<uNNY t..-< 10 are those people running? there must be 30 of thern! ft.-L-1... THE GADFLY . . . . . �I<UNAI SPORTS by Stacey Goguen Staff Writer Tuesday (Sept 27): The first half started with a rush. four goals were scored in the first ten minutes of the game. For the 1viaroon-Blue (Fruity Hangers) side, Alicia Elkins scored. For the Gold-Green (Stinky Green Lyres), Lola Price, Emma Plaut, and Caitren Hill scored. I would also like to congratulate Brittany J\icBride, not only for chasing a ball (that happened to have been kicked by myself) into the street, but for looking both ways as she retrieved it. There is always time for safety. Chelsea Stigman scored the last goal of the first half for the Stinky green Lyres. Second half, Mary Davenport made a goal, and Mr. Pickins told me to make sure that I called it beautiful and profess to the world what a wonder person Mary is. So yes, 1vfary, you are wondrous, indeed. Hither to, there has been no one of your caliber. Samantha Enns also scored, for the Stinky team, who won 6- 2. Friday (Sept 30): Due to a severe case of shin splints (imagine splints being stabbed into your shins) and a minor ankle injury (twisted it while playing video games, ironically enough), the coverage of Friday's game is mediocre. I must thank Annie Shellito for recording some of the goals for me, and apologize to whoever scored the goal during the first half whose name I wasn't able to track down. They names I was able to procure included Aubrey Nighswander, who scored for the Maroon-Gold team (Fruit Lyres?) and Caitren Hill, who scored for the GreenBlue team Golly Blues?). The other goal was made for the Fruit Lyres, surely by some spectacular soul who kicked it from the half field line and then did a little dance. Second half, Lola Price and Nicole (didn't- get- her-last-name-but -she's- analum?) scored for the Fruit Lyres, who thus won, 4-1. Standing Wins Fruit Snacks 3 6 Golden Lyres Jolly Green Giants 2 Blue Bangers 2 Loses 3 0 4 4 *I would like to take a moment to explain my goal calculations. Listen up, because I'm not going to explain this again. "Team Goals" a.re the goals made for each composite team. So if a game is BlueGreen vs. Gold-1vfaroon 2-19, I give both Blue and Green 2 goals, and Gold and l\.faroon 19. Now, "Indiv. Goals" credit the individual team whose players make the goals. So, if Athena (Blue) and Hera (Green) scored the 2 goals, Blue and Green would get 1 Indiv. Goal each. Likewise, if Artemis (Gold) scored 9, Hestia (Maroon) scored 5, and Persephone (1\.faroon) scored 6 (but one didn't count because it was off-sides), then Gold would have 9 Indiv. goals, and Maroon would have 10. If this still doesn't make sense; too bad, I like charts. So deal with it. Ties Team Goals Indiv. Goals 1 15 5 1 23 14 13 1 6 1 11 3 Athletes of the Week Mr. Shahrigian Miss Boyce . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 11 �THE GADFLY DATE DUE St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 L Mens' Sports by Ara Geukgeuzian Staff Writer -Wednesday, September 28Guardians v. Druids While the Druids had spe nt the la st two weeks getting on a hot streak, the Guardians were busy sitting on their firsthalf laurels. Thus it was less of a shock when the Maroon Man-Gobblers came on the scene, melting the famous gold defense and s hutting down their Paul Wilford-less offense. A lightening carry by Nick Olmstead drew first blood, and after duelin g interceptions b y Sam Hitchcock-Tilton and Thorn Jacob s, Garrett Drexler made a leaping catch in the end zone. The Guardians weren't out so quickly, as a Tommy Dyer fumble recovery off o f a punt return led to a touchdown on the la st play of the half by 1oao Santa-Rita, who also made the two-point co nversion . But, a superlative seventyyard touchdown run by Garrett Drexler put the Druids back in command._Interceptions by Rory Williams and-btg surprise-Garrett Drexler and a final score by James Wrigley sealed the deal. The Guardians are no longer undefeated, and the old aris tocracy is sliding towards timocracy; will that be enough to top the Hustlers? 1" zn<~ 3'd 4'h Final Guardians 0 8 0 0 8 Druids 7 7 7 6 27 Here's a lot of soccer, for you complainers out there: -Saturday, October 1Spartans v. Guardians Patrick Rieder scored first on a long assist by Louis Spies. But when Matt Horst overzealously came out of the goal with the ball, Andrew Romiti stole it and sent it for an empty-net score to knot it up, where it stayed. The "Hans Mohlmann 12 Award for 'Man Getting Hit by Football"' goes to this writer. 1" 2nd Final 0 1 Spartans 1 Guardians 0 GreenWaves & Kunai v. Alumni Alumnus Nick Whittier started it out with a quick goal-for his old team, th_e Waves. After alumna Quinby Finch tied It up, the Waves/Kunai showed these old guys that beauty always comes before age, letting loose with scores from former G.I. Nate Whi tman, as well as from Sh ant Sh ahrigian and ":tvfilk", and another from Whittier. Not a good day for senectitude ... 1" 2"d Final Waves+Kunai 2 3 5 1 0 A lumni -Sw1day, October 2Green\'V'aves v. Hustlers Fabio Lomelino began the barrage with a header. Thence scored Nick Whittier, Nate Whitman, and Cole Simmons. Thence drank tile Hustlers beer ... 1" 2"d Final Waves 2 2 4 Hustlers 0 0 0 Spartans v. Druids Chester "tvfartin deftly placed a ball from Dalton Lobo Dias off of the opposite goa lpost to ring in the scoring. And as this week's sign of the apocalypse, Matt McLean scored a goal-and no, it wasn't against hi s own team! Th en, Jame s Wrigley let up his first goal this season as :Mike Bright brought Blue back into the game. But Chester had other ideas, star ~­ ing the second half off right with a nutntious goal, assisted by Alex Ossopovtch, who also helped Steve Closs score his first goal ever. It looked bad for the Spartans when Febbie sensation Louis Spies became "iVlatt McLean for a Day" by scoring on . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . his own goal. That was when Rob Hurst finally decided to stop pretending to play goalie, and punched a header for a g?al of his own, and Justin Lanier put a rambow into tl1e net. Alack, the effort was to no avail ... 1" znd Final Spartans 1 2 3 Druids 2 3 5 Soccer Standings: Team w L Druids 4 0 G reenWaves 2 1 Hustlers 2 2 Spartans 1 3 Guardians 0 3 T 0 1 0 1 2 PF 16 9 4 9 5 P.-\ 3 8 7 11 14 You Make the Call: Last week's puzzler was answered correctly by kunai soccer phenom Laura Cate. According to the 2001 NCAA Soccer Rule Book (the rule book used for this weekly feature of the Gadf(y), 'No penalty if the player left the field for the sole purpose of not being offside." And now for this week's teaser: On a penalty kick, the coach decides to substitu te goalkeepers. Is this allowed? First one to me with the right call goes to the bookstore on me. You may leave your response on my voice mail, x2558. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 5 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-10-04 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 5 of The Gadfly. Published October 4, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.5 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/ae17adfe4ec2ed95b1e8c199208b92fb.pdf de7ffa769c6810c71faee430bdf7910b PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY ) l l l l l l l~,~ n~ ~[~ ~ ~ ~,~ ~ ~ ,~ ~ , . 4cJve_," ltl~ LcL4c. ~ ~GADFLY Annapolis, Mmyland October 19, 2005 The St. Johns College Student Week(y Volume XXVII, Issue 6 Concert Review: Nordic Voices by Mark McClay Staff Writer Artist's rendition of Spector Hall when complete. The Damning of Spector Hall by Aaron Brager & Micah Gates Staff Writers NOTE TO GADFIYRKillERS: This is a good article. Don't ignore it, like you do with all the others. Next semester, Spector Hall will be open. TI1e construction of this donn, however, is widely regarded as a big mistake. Sources close to the""-\ssistant Dean's Office say that St. John's is seriously considering no longer allowing sophomores to live off-campus because the College has built too many rooms, and may not be able to fill them all In fact, this year, there is a strong possibility that even upperclassmen desiring to change their living situations mid-year will be forbidden from leaving campus. \Then the College began its massive construction project (including Gilliam Hall), President Nelson sent out a letter to the Polity citing rising off-campus housing costs as the main reason for building the new dorms. By an informal survey of those living offcampus, the average rent including utilities is $443 per month. On campus, room and board for one academic year is $7,876. Over eight and a half months, this cost is $926 per month. This calculation does not factor in over a month total of mandatory evictions which occur during school vacations. If we say these periods add up to one month, then the cost oflivingon-campus is $1,050 per month. Of course, to be fair, the campus price also includes a mandatory meal-plan, but even a healthy eater would only spend a third of the $607 difference. The difference, therefore, in total living expenses between on- and off-campus students is roughly $400 per month. The school pays $8 per hour for most jobs. To compensate for the difference, an on-campus student would need to work an additional12.5 hours per week. Tills is not remotely consistentwid1 d1e school's official suggestion that students work no more than 10 hours per week. By the way, history shows that if you want to move off-campus, but are not allowed to, you may "accidentally" set your room on fire, pay a $500 fine, and be kicked off-campus. This method of off-campus living is still inDamning continued on page 4 It is unusual for a concert program to feature music from either the 1Yh or the 21 'r century, much less from both. But last Friday night's concert by Nordic Voices, a six-person vocal ensemble based in Norway, presented the St. John's community with a glorious exception to this unhappy rule. In an era when the repertoire of performers tends to be increasingly specialized, it is refreshing to encounter a group of performers with the versatility to perform across a very wide spectrum of styles and genres; it is doubly refreshing to hear a group that does so as effectively as this one did on Friday night. Near the beginning of the concert, a member of the group spoke to the audience, saying that this was a program "full of contrasts." She wasn't kidding; within the first fifteen minutes, we had heard the sonorous medieval strains of Guillawne Dufay followed by the strange Kjrie of contemporary Norwegian composer Gisle Kverndokk. Contrast, indeed! But more important than these contrasts is the unifying element of d1e program -namely, d1e ensemble itself; the same six vocalists, singing always with the same astonishing precision and clarity of texture, applying their musicianship effectively across a very ambitious program. Tills was apparent even in the aforementioned initial contrast of the evening. The Nordic Voices captured the spirit of the Dufay motet very convincingly, showing sensitivity to the "pre~ tonal" harmonic inflections of the medieval musical language. Nordic Voices contined on page 6 �THE ....-~GADFLY Editors-in-Chief Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Photographers Clark Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Aaron Brager Nina Carrieri Micah Gates Stacey Goguen Ara Guekguezian 1vfax Kronberg Jenny Lowe Mat:k McClay Leo Pickens Jennifer Wright NicZakheim Dear Jews' Clues: Ever since school has started, I've had trouble making friends. My classmates don't seem to appreciate my subtle wit and stylish polo style shirts. How does one go about becoming super popular like Max, Aaron, or, to a lesser extent, Brian Jones? If I am unpopular for much longer, I'll have to start hanging out with The Hustlers so that I look better by companson. Please help, A Friendless Freshman Dear A.F.F.: Founded in 1980, the Gadj(y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadffy staff. The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking ncw:-paper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadj(y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstance:-. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions arc gr~.:atly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. This is exactly the sort of letter that makes people think we make up all the letters. However, if we cared what people thought we never would have had sex with those porpoises. On a side note, this is the best letter we've ever received. It contains the phrase "stylish polo style shirts," insults Brian Jones, praises us, and reveals before God and lvfan the utter baseness that permeates the entirety of the Hustler lifestyle. Here's lookin' at you, Mike Dobbyn. On how to become popular: the only way to become popular at this school is to remember that any positive number has two (2) square roots, namely the positive(+) root and the negative (negative) root. Everyone remembers the + (positive) root, but some people forget the negative root. Here's a simple equation to help you remember this: Thing you need to remember = Thing you found out on your calculator* -1 This equation can be remembered with the helpful mnemonic device TYNTRTYFOOYC*-1. If you are a more visual learner, remember the following: Thing you need to remember ::::: Thing you learned in Jews' Clues on Page 3, to- 2 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ward the top. Interestingly, by extension, we know that Thing you learned in Jews' Clues on Page 3, toward the top = Thing you found out on your calculator* -1. For ultimate popularity, show off this knowledge at an Algebra Exam. The penultimate set of Algebra Exams for this semester will occur on October 19 at 7:30 p.m. and October 22 at 10:00 a.m. Alternatively, you can show off this knowledge at the Baltimore Aquarium, thereby impressing those hot, hot porpoises, sleeping with them, and then impressing your hot, hot new friends with the information that you have slept with porpoises just like J\iax and Aaron, or, to a lesser extent, Brian Jones. It takes a certain kind of man to be turned down by a porpoise. 1·Iaybe Brian should have tried wearing a stylish polo style shirt. Yours, J.C. Dear Jews' Clues: Please send a Shalom to Dan Schwartz for publishing the phrase "the quixotic heroes presented in such films as 'The Passion of the Christ' or 'Spiderman."' I think that's pretty damn funny. I'm presuming so far as to make such a request because while my consonant to vowel ratio is not as sexy as Mary Davenport's, she was in my core group last year. Plus, I'm Jewish. Gratefully yours, Yonaton Schreiber Dear Jonathan Schroeder: Was Ms. Davenport in your hardcore group, or your softcore group? (Tutors unaware of this terminology should ask some of their students, unless the uncom- �fortable language makes them uncomfortable.) \Ve would like to take this opportunity to present Jonathan Schroeder with the Nicholas J. Colten award for Longest Time Between Enrollment and Presumed Graduation. l\1r. Schroeder enrolled in 1955, the first year St. John's allowed women to do anything besides cook, clean, service the men-folk, and then, of course, clean again. Servicing porpoise-folk was not allowed in the olden days. [cf. above question for discussion of modern servicing of porpoise-folk.] l\1r. Schroeder was a cute 'lil' thing with a whole latta pluck from Western 1-Hnnesota. Determined to impress all the women, he invented a sexual maneuver known today as the Big Whack. Coincidentally, the Big Whack (or Big Splash or Giant Impact Theory) is the now dominant scientific theory for the formation of the l\1oon, which is now thought to have been formed by a collision between the young Earth and a lvfars-sized body sometimes called Theia. But not always! We have discovered why: Pindar, in his 5th Isthmian ode, praises Theia as having a multitude of names: "Mother of the Sun, Theia of many names, for your sake men honor gold as more powerful than anything else; and through the value you bestow on them, o queen, ships contending on the sea and yoked teams of horses in swift-whirling contests become marvels." (Emphasis added.) Unfortunately, Pindar either gave no indication of the other names, or the other names were included in portions of the text which have been lost, so we have been left with free reign to conjecture as to what they might have been: Gertrude, l\-farsSized-Body, Greta-Lover-Of-Porpoises, Adolf, and Pin dar. Dear Jews' Clues: During the SO's prom, I was outside taking air when I overheard the beginning to a joke: "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?" I thought you would either know the rest of the joke or more effectively find it out than I could. Thanks, Distressed and Requesting Unlimited Necessary Knowledge at 4 a.m. Dear D.R.U.N.K. at 4 a.m.: DC Minutes for 10/12/05 11:53 11:55 11:56 Bob. J.C. ].C.'s Shaloms: Shalom to Daniel Schwartz for writing the phrase, "the quixotic heroes presented in such films as 'The Passion of the Christ' or 'Spider-Man'." Shalom to Sarah Whitfield and Dan Rera. More like "Sarah Rera". 1\.HAHAHAHAHA rhyming. Shalom to Chelsea Batten and Liam Goodacre for winning the polka contest by dancing for 28 straight minutes. Special Shalom to Mr. Goodacre for wearing a kilt, which twirled about like a beautiful handkerchief from which we shook memories that impregnated the air. Thank you, Liam. Thank you. Shalom to A Friendless Freshman for writing in. \\le wish we knew who you were, so we could mock you. Thanks, J.C. Ballet Theatre of Maryland presents Louisa May Alcott's Little Women 12:00 12:05 12:10 12:15 12:20 12:30 12:40 12:45 Call to order We have $13,556.75. Ad Hoc election of sophomore SCI representatives. l\-Is. Kennen Breen speaks. Ivfs. Goguen speaks and is questioned. Ms. Enns speaks. Budgeting. Contra Collective; preliminary request entered for $40.00. Croquet; preliminary request entered for $484.43. Storytellers' Guild; no representative present, preliminary request entered for $142.64. \\laltz Committee; preliminary request entered for $472.92. Writers' Bloc; preliminary request entered for $77.75. Seen Your Prank; preliminary request entered for $3999.99. Reality; preliminary request entered for $4325.00. Penultimate Set rif Algebra Exams for this Semester October 19 7:30p.m. October 22 10:00 a.m. At Maryland Hall for the Creative Arts in Annapolis: Fri. 10/21 and Sat. 10/22. www.marylandhall.org (41 0) 263-5544 or www balletmaryland.org (41 0) 263-8289 for tickets and information. Rooms 206 and 208 Take your Student ID . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Damning continued from front page credibly cost-effective as long as you set your room on fire more than 37 days before the end of the year. It is, of course, ]\fORE cost-effective if you burn it sooner, but either way will probably be fun. Finances and fun aside, there e.xists a myriad of other reasons to live off-campus. Here are but a few: FOOD. The Dining Hall provides inadequate hours of operation. Unlike an off-campus kitchen, which can be full of tasty delicacies day or night, the dining hall provides marginally edible food, and, occasionally, proper cutlery, but only for six hours a day. "But wait," you cry! "Oncampus students are provided with kitchens and refrigerators as well!" \Veil, assuming that your food is somehow still in the fridge when you return for it, and that you have any money left over from paying $8 for meals you don't eat, you still have to keep your pots and pans in the same room as your bed. Speaking of things in the same room as your bed ... LIFESTYLE. St. John's dorm life forces sh1dents into a great number of living conditions that civilized human beings should not need to endure. Here is a fun game you can play if you live on-campus. Look around your room, and make a list of things that don't belong there, but are, because you have no other rooms. For bonus points, list items not on our list: toothbrush, fridge, soap and shampoo, cooking utensils, and all of your food. Conversely, make a list of things that you would like in your room, but may not have, because the College won't allow them. Here are a few to get you started (read your student handbook if you rlllnk these are made up): gin, your pet dog, a candle, your girlfriend/boyfriend (unless not a currently enrolled student), a hotplate, or a waterbed (unless, of course, you are willing to pay the $45/ day fine, making your total living expense $2,400 per month). In addition, in an off-campus residence, when entertaining guests, they will not be forced to sit on your roommate's bed, because there will be a couch, which is what normal people sit on when they visit the homes of their friends. PRIVACY. On-campus living is for tlwse who don't care about their privacJ~ There are regular, mandatory dorm inspections in your absence. Unless you are one of the gifted few with a single dorm room, roommates, whom you may or 4 may not have chosen, may enter your bedroom at any time, and in any state of intoxication. There is litrle in the way of soundproofing; your neighbors, whom you cannot choose, can hear any conversation above a whisper. ETCETERA. There are many other terrible things about living on-campus, and this article is hardly exhaustivein that respect. Here are a few others, upon which neither time, nor space, nor author's inclination allow elaboration: consistently lukewarm "hot" water, no indoor smoking, Internet access slower than Rook Singer on a good day, the necessity of flip-flops in the shower, and lack of sufficient parking. Also, the average dorm room is approximately 100 square feet per person, falling short of the recommended living space for refugee camps by 200 square feet, according to Doctors Without Borders, an internationally recognized refugee relief organization. CONCLUSION. Certainly, there are redeeming features of on-campus life. The two most prominent seem to be proximity to classrooms and the sense of community fostered by eating and living with the same people every day. These are two very good reasons to live on-campus, and certainly, if they are important to people, these people should be allowed to live on-campus. But more than half of the school's population should not be coerced into living and eating in the school's choice of locations simply because of a desire to attend St. John's. Using a student's love for St. John's to compel them to pay for services not directly related to the Program of the College, but benefiting the school financially, seems pretty damned vile. Of course, the authors of this article are cynical bastards, and could easily be incorrect about the school's motivations. For this reason, we invite any member of the St. John's administration to correct us, either in writing or in person. However, we humbly request that anyone who chooses to do so first spend one week living in any of the wide variety of terrible dorm rooms, with any of the wide variety of terrible roommates, living, eating, sleeping, bathing, and entertainlng all guests using only the facilities provided to a normal on-campus student. Sounds terrible, huh? After living on-campus for one week, you may not see forcing others into such dehumanizing conditions to be considerate. We eagerly anticipate your response. Sign up for Thanksgiving Break BWI Shutdes in the blue binder in the Asst. Dean's Office. Space is limited, reservations required. Maryland Renaissance Festival Finale Sunday, October 23rd. Rain or shine. Shuttle departs gym lot at 1:00 PM returns to campus around 6 PM. First come, first seated. Tickets available at the ftstival entrance ($17). **We now have drivers, so the shuttle will deftnite!J go this time!** . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Jen-Sais-Quoi by Jennifer Wright Staff Writer Afterall,St.John'sis a place where Plato is quoted so frequently that he is growing rapidly staler tl1an a loaf of bread in a frat house kitchen. Cool does not quote Plato. Cool came to St. John's and Cool said, "what a pretty arbor! I believe I will lie down, and take a nap, which is necessary for me, as I am tired from fornicating in a dexterous manner and snorting coke and attending football games." Then Socrates snuck I realize there are two articles this week. I apologize. Two seems somewhat indulgent on my part But it's not my fault - they lost this article. It should have beeninlastweek's Gatff!y. Therefore, there are two. This one is fun for the whole fam~ .ily, while the other one is fun for extremely bitter women who research ways to kill their ex~boy­ friends. up behind him, and poured poison down his ear, and Cool screamed and died, and Socrates I was walking through d1e quad a few days clapped his hands and rubbed his belly and sang ago, when I saw a freshman girl, whom I'm go- a little song. (Did you see how that was a Hamlet reference? Not that Uncle Claudius sings in Hamlet, nor does he mb his belly after killing ing to call Becky Sharp, sitting on a bench. She was pretty, and wearing shoes I admired and I was dllnking to myself what delightful people St. John's attracts, when I saw her point to another Hamlet's father, but still. I got so giddy and proud about my ability to work a Hamlet reference in here that I began laughing uncontrolla- bench where two upperclassmen were sitting and remark to her friend "God, I'd do anything to be in with the cool kids. There are so many losers in our class." I clapped my hands with unabashed glee. '1\Jiss Sharp has the driest sense of humor I've ever seen! I wonder if I could invite her out for tea?' I thought. I waited for her friend to ex- blyandfelloff my chair. QED,lVlissSharpwill plodeinto gales of laughteratMiss Sharp's scathing sarcastic wit. She did not. She just nodded, knowingly. So, after I exploded in gales of laughter myself, I sat down, and came up with this hdpful phrase dmt Becky can repeat to herselfany time she feels the need to claw her way to the top of the social heap. This phrase runs, "you are at St. John's." It can be repeated again and again, as necessary~ Say it with me: «'You are at St. John's, Becky Sharp." People at St. Jobn's are amazing. They are clever, literate, fascinating, witty, wise, brilliant, funny and a stream of other similar colorful adjectives. They are not cooL insofar as 'cool' in the traditional sense means someone who is able to skim cheerfully along the surface of life without pausing to delve deeper. At a school where we are led to believe that "the unexamined life is not worth living," real coolness is almost impossible. There are exceptions, naturally. Ivir.l\-ferceron, who came up with "J en-sais-quoi," reminded me to mention that the cool kids live- and live to party- at 23 Francis StreeL\pt. 5. Mr. Hoffinan, who devised countless alternative titles, pointed out that I might not know the cool kids, because I do not attend the Homeric Dance Club, but that Becky Sharp should seriously consider dropping by. Barring tl1ose exceptions, though, cool is not a commodity readily available at St. John's. It is certainly less available than, say, VerbiTutti Grechi. not be vying for a place on my bench any time soon.) Now tl1at doesn't mean, regrettably, that there isn't an exceedingly small contingent of people who will inform you - with a bizarre degree of pride- that they are in with the cool kids. They will refer quite smugly to "their circle of friends" an dhow, really, not just a'!)'Oilewould be invited to their parties. They will talk to you in hushed tones about the people "on our level" which is an exclusive level. Does this make them cool? Is the belief that you are cool enough to make it true? No, it's really not It does, how~ ever, make them some of the most beastly, bourgeois, Babbitty brats on the Eastern Sea~ board. If you're one of the people not on "their levd" they are paying you one of the most beautiful compliments you are ever likely to receive, because they are completely deluded and have forgotten our helpful mantra: ''You are at St. Jobn's." It is my deep and heartfelt belief that tl1ese people are not actually cooL Not just because they're being jerks, but because, if they were actually cool in a traditional sense, they would be attending tailgate parties at the Uni~ versity of .t'llizona. And the event they would be tailgating would not be croquet. As such, Becky Sharp, your behavior- your willingness to give "anything" to be in with the so-called cool kids- is a mystery to me. You baffle me, you creature, you. I have no issue at all with such social ambitions as to make 1\Jachiavelli blush providing there is something to be gained from them. I think this was the case in high school- at least it was in my high school. Back then, social climbing was worth the posturing it took because it freed you to indulge your eccentricities. You could quote Rilke among a group of people who couldn't define the word ''boutique" and it would be a clmnning little quirk on your part provided that you could point outside at your handsome boyfriend's shiny, shiny 1956 Jaguar roadster to prove that- even though you were "quirky" - you still had the same wholesome, capitalist American values as everybody else. High school was a ruthless, cut~ throat place. St. Jobn's is not. Here- praise God's mighty hand!- you are free! You can indulge any cccentticityyou've ever possessed! You can run aronnd whacking people with foam weapons on Sunday afternoon! You can dance in a really, really disturbingly rhythmic way to Odysseus's incredible journey! You can go to lvlabel on Friday nights at 10:30 p.m. in tl1e basement of Humphreys and direct smart aleck comments towards bad movies (we'd really like you to join us, we are an e.xceedingly small group at the moment)! No matter how eccentric you are there will alwqys be someone more eccentric tlun yo~ probably in your immediate vicinity! Isn't that the best thing you've ever heard? I really do think that the most magical thing about St. John's is its willingness to tolerate- and be totally, utterly charmed by- behavior that would label people as freaks at other colleges. You may very well never get to interact with such a free spirited, bohemian group of people again in your life, so try to appreciate it while you can. In oonclusion,Becky please, >iOpwofl}>ingabout getting in wid1 the cool kid& You're finally free to do anything you want to do, and to interact with anyone you like. So instead of trying to ingratiate yourself to one group of people, talk to everyone. Talk to d1atgirlin lab class with the dreadlocks, and ttlk to the boywhoplayedlacrosseall through High School You'll probably find you don't like some of these people, butatleastyou'llhave a reason for not liking them, and won't just chalk it up to their being losers. Some of them may also dislike yo~ as is their prerogative. In that case, you gave it your best shot However, you'll also find that there are loads of people you have things in common with that you neverwouldhave expected. Just be nice to people, Becky. You'renotinhigh school anymore, and there's no sense in behaving as though you were. Being nice may not be the coolest thing to do; butrl1en, St. John's -lovely, lovely St. John's - isn't a cool place. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Nordic Voices continued from front page Turning to Kverndokk's K;yn·e, however, the group directed their skills to a wholly different idiom. This work is very gestural in nature, with an emphasis on sonic effect and timbre at the expense of such traditional musical ele~ ments as rhythm, melody, and harmony; these effects were produced by some unconventional vocal techniques, including the use of extreme high and low ranges, and glissandi by voices at intervals (producing a rather police~siren-like effect), among other things. Of course, what these observations mean in terms of the quality of the piece remains a matter of taste; certainly, this K;yrie contained some of the weirdest sounds I have ever heard come from a human voice. Regardless, the piece was much too abstract to be considered an effective text setting (one might have substituted nearly anything for the text of the Kyrie and bet safely that no one would tell the difference), and imagining this piece in a liturgical context is simply humorous. One can envision the unsuspecting churchgoer's reaction on hearing these strange, zoo-like sounds emanating from the choir loft one Srmday morning; such an incident might provide sufficient grounds for changing churches, if not for changing religions altogether. Among the highlights of the program, however, were several examples of modem musical text-setting at its best, by such giants as Francis Poulenc, Igor Stravinsky, 1\·burice Ravel, and Olivier 1\1:essiaen. The first half was concluded by Poulenc's marvelous 0 Magnum Mysterium, which migrates from a chordal to a more polyphonic texture during the first section of the text, which describes the wonder of the stable animals as they look on the newborn Christ child; at the second part of the text, which praises the child's virgin mother, Poulenc introduces an elegant melodic line, which passes from voice to voice and clashes poignantly with the accompanying chords in the other voices. Thus Poulenc deftly sets up for a repetition of the opening stanza, this time set in tranquil - but quite modem - chordal fashion. The "great mystery" described the opening stanza appears at first as something somehow unsettling and incomprehensible; 6 but when seen anew in light of the second stanza, this very mystery is transformed into a source of peace and repose. Stravisnky's Pater Noster seems to be more functional; it would be easy to imagine this being sung in a liturgical setting. It contains little in the way of "word painting," as seen elsewhere, but it does achieve a very vivid overall effect: the geode, pulsating rhythm and hushed chords give the piece a very appropriately prayerful ambience. Perhaps the most memorable melody on the program was to be found Ravel's Trois beaux oiseaux du paradies. The work is a little masterpiece of Gallic elegance and emotional restraint; as with nearly everything on this program, the texture is never overly lush (it would be difficult for it to be otherwise, given the nature of the ensemble), and the overall sense of the piece is one of delicacy. Additionally, Ravel's subtle modal colorations in both melody and harmony, seems lend the work a slightly ar~ chaic quality. The cool, clear sound of the Nordic Voices fits this music like a hand in a glove. These modern selections were complemented well by more traditional vocal works by Renaissance masters such as Thomas Luis de Victoria, Carlo Gesualdo, and Claudio Monteverdi, all performed with great conviction and attention to detail. In particular, the bizarre chromatic convulsions of Gesualdo were obviously sung so as to emphasize that this is, in fact, very weird music. Of additional interest was the performance of an unfinished Gesualdo motet, which Igor Stravinsky took it upon himself to complete by composing a baritone part; Stravinsky was a great admirer of Gesualdo on account of the latter's supposed "modernisms," and it is surprising how natural this odd collaboration sounds. There are amusing instances, though, when Stravinsky apparently could not resist the temptation to beat Gesualdo at his own game; in such in~ stances, the baritone sticks out like that guy with a weird idea who just won't shut up in seminar. Whether Gesualdo had a sense of humor is disputable, but there can be no question in Stravinsky's case. Of course, it is to be hoped that aN orwegian ensemble would bring along a few musical imports, and these six did not disappoint. In addition to tl1e aforementioned piece ofKverndokk, the program also included two works by con~ temporary composer Knut Nystedt- Peace I leave withyou and Jesus din sole forming J smake. The former is a brief work, chromatic but quite triadic and tonal; the latter is a lilting, hymnlike work, tonal to the point of being downright hummable. Additionally, as an encore, the group was generous enough to perform a "Norwegian Lullaby." In spite of the obvious contrasts of the program, this was in no way an incoherent program. It is interesting to note that, although this program spans composers six centuries apart, the romantics are conspicuously unrepresented. I suspect that pa1i of this is due to the nature of the en~ semble itself, and the fact that folks in the 19th century just didn't write much for 6 a cappel/a voices; but aesthetically, there seems to be ad~ ditional reason for this omission. Through~ out the program, across different styles and idioms, one was always struck with the sense that the music, however intense or expressive, is always presented in a way that is lucid and emotionally uncluttered; both early and modem music seem to lend tl1emselves particularly well to this aesthetic. The best performances, like this one, are when one leaves with the sense that one has not heard the performance, but rather the music itself The Nordic Voices seem to have succeeded admirably in this regard. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �You Too Can Murder Your Ex by Jennifer Wright Staff Writer I wrote a column a few weeks ago, encouraging everyone to go out on dates. Some people, from what I've been told, actually did go on dates, and that makes me happy. But then, a lot of people pointed out that nothing is really worth having your soul reduced to the size of a yogurt raisin. They informed me that break-ups at St. John's are totally unbearable because you will have to see the person all the time, and sometimes that person will have the audacity to look happy. I had to admit that they had a point. Then someone said, "Hey, but you got over your break-up really well. Why don't you write about how to get over break-ups in a healthy way?" This person is certifiably insane if they think I've gotten over my break-up in a way that even remotely resembles anything that might be considered healthy. But I'm proud to say that I can tell you how to get over your breakup in the unhealthiest way possible (I must admit, I feel this will be more applicable to women than to men. Men can use Hemmingway as their unhealthy break-up recovery guru). We ought to begin at the beginning. As your ex leaves you, he may suggest certain things you can do to recover. Things like charity work. Interestingly, what you need is not actually charity work. What you need is to tear your ex's heart from his body, and then stomp on it, which is more or less what he has done to you. But you can't. Because J 10U lack the necessary tools. You neglected to accommodate yourself with these tools in advancet But, it's not too late. J\1y research on the subject tells me that electromagnetic telerobotic systems are being used with great popularity in open heart surgery. There are other tools you could use, but this is my favorite, because the article I read on it featured a little picture of a telerobot, and it looked like the sort of machine I could imagine being a protagonist in a children's book called, Eckleburg, The Electromagnetic Te/erobot That Forcib(y Removes Human Hearts. Carry Little Eckleburg in your purse. If your purse doesn't accommodate him, get a bigger purse. Purses were made to carry telerobots, and telerobots were made to sit happily and jauntily in your purse, giving it that little extra "oomph" that the editors of Vogue aspire towards. The next time your lover is breaking things off with you, before he comes to the "-ity" of "charity," Little Eckleburg will have set to work like the mechanical but fiercely loyal friend he is. And then, your ex will be dead. Hurrah! You'll never have to deal with your ex again! Time to laugh and dance and sing! Maybe Little Eckleburg will sing with you, and maybe he will dance, waving your ex's heart about in his wildly gyrating claw. Ivfaybe the song you will sing will be "Give me your heart, baby, baby." I don't know. That's for you and Little Eckleburg to decide. I am aware though, that it can often be difficult to equip yourself with Little Eckleburg, as Little Eckleburg is a robot sold principally to hospitals for an exorbitant fee. If you want to be fiscally responsible, I'm convinced that enormous, pink, four-hundred-dollar sunglasses are the way to go. Sure, it's more than you might normally spend on sunglasses, but much less than you would spend on a little mechanical friend who kills. That puts it in perspective. You might still hear Plato's voice in your mind, talking about how this kind of appetitive desire is bad. Plato is not your friend. In fact, Plato is in cahoots with your former lover. Seriously. I saw them together. They were laughing. They were probably laughing about you. About you, and how you don't have really enormous sunglasses. Buy yourself all the expensive items you want. After all, how often do you find enormous pink sunglasses? And think of all the poor workers who made those sunglasses that you'll be helping. Consider it charity work. In fact, now is the time for a lot of pink things. Pink champagne, for instance. Pink lipstick. Pink high heels. Pink ciga~ rettes (but be forewarned -if you leave your pink cigarettes in direct sunlight, the paper will turn almost white. In your fragile condition this may induce a rage greater and more terrifying than the thought of an early death caused by many forms of cancer). Tell everyone who has ever expressed admiration for you that now is the time to send you bouquets of pink flowers. You'll be surprised at the number that actually do. Maybe pink isn't your color. Find a color that works for you. Go with it. By this point you've run around like an extremely independent Isis retrieving bits of your own heart and smooshing them back in your body. You're feeling all right. From what I've heard, this is when everyone experiences some kind of ghastly setback. You'll have something perfectly horrid happen, like seeing your ex cuddling his new girlfriend at a waltz party. I found that, after my setback, I considered my reactions very carefully and rationally, and I decided that I wasn't just angry, or hurt, or experiencing any fleeting emotion, but that I really hated my ex. This was interesting for me, because I've never hated anyone I've actually met, let alone an ex-boyfriend. I asked people what to do to suppress the feeling, and I correspondingly went around compiling lists of all my ex's positive attributes and mentioning him in glowing terms in conversation. All this was quite time consuming and infuriating and didn't change my feelings in the slightest. But I did try, because it's bad to hate people. But wait! It actually isn't. The best scientific survey I've ever read informed me that people who report that they hate one person also report significantly higher levels of happiness than people who don't hate anyone. I did a highly ineffective cartwheel immediately after reading that. But then I sat, and I nibbled my thumbnail for a while, and I thought to myself, 'but those people who only hated one person probably hated someone like Hitler.' I nibbled my thumbnail a little longer and thought, 'wow, I suppose I kind of hate Hitler myself.' So all you need to do to leave your one person hatred slot open is to forgive Hitler! That's not a problem! Rent Max and Der U11tergang and by the time you've finished them you'll just feel a kind of pity for poor, maniacal, deranged Hitler. You'll also see that Hitler had certain infinitesimally redeeming features, like his ability to keep his moustache neatly trimmed. Your ex has no such redeeming features. That's why he occupies your hatred slot, and Hitler does not. Murder continued on apge 8 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �Murder continued from page 7 And actually, hating your ex, and fin~lly allowing yourself to hate yo ur ex, will make you a lot happier. You'll suddenly see everyone around you in a new light. Of course, some people will have qualities in their personalities that irk you a little, but they will also 11ot be worse tha11 Hitler. You'll find yourself giving everyone around you- except your ex, obviously- unprecedented numbers of compliments. It's odd, but it seems that if you absolutely can't make peace with your ex, the next best thing is to make peace with your hatred of your ex. You do, of course, have to remember that this is a wildly subjective feeling, and you certainly can't try to convince anyone that they should hate him too- that would be raw evil - really, you shouldn't act on the emotion to any great extent, but if allowing yourself a little pinch of hatred improves your quality of life, and isn't detrimental to anyone, I can't see the harm in it. This means that when you take dates again, though, and your date asks yo u what happened in your last relation ship, you'll have to smile through your gritted teeth and say, "My ex is a great guy. \Xfe didn't work as a couple but we maintain the utmost respect for each other," rather than blowing a raspberry and replying, "My ex? Yeah, I hate him a million trillion bajillion times more than Hitler." The latter statement- while true- will make yo u so und crazy. Besides, the sentiment will be conveyed adequately by Eckleburg's bloodstained talons waving about in your purse. Some men may be intimidated by Eckleburg, but that should simply bring to mind the Ancient Greek proverb "men intimidated by the electromagnetic tel ero bots in a woman's purse probably have so mething they ought to be compensating for" (thi s proverb was voiced by Menandros which is why it makes no sen se whatsoever). A real man will be able to love you a11dLittle Eckleburg. And then, one day, when you finally emerge from your black fog of celibacy and heartbreak, and are able to smell the flowers once more- s urely you still have some pink bouquets lying around - someone will come up to you and say, "wow, you handled your break-up so well." And you' ll smile serenely and adjust your enormous sunglasses, and say, "yes, I did, didn't I?" And then, after they've gone, you'll glance down at your purse very quickly, and wink, and Little Eckleburg, with his nonexistent mechanical eye will wink right back at you. Confessions of a Polka Survivor by Jenny Lowe I have some confessions to make to you all: for a while there I actually thought that I would w in the polka contest. Not only that, but I thought that I would win it without too much of a fight. My illustrious co-archon, D an Houck and I, when we decided to have a polka contest, were certain that it would not last for longer than two so ngs. "I mean, look how many people usually make it through the 'Beer Barrel Polka'," we reasoned. "It's the longest 3 minutes of your life. There's no way that many people will las t past that one." Besides, Andrew MacKinlay and I have been polka warriors since freshman year. This won't be too taxing. Alas, hubris! You have leveled many a hero, and now I too have tasted your cold retribution. I prepared for this contest, too. I dressed in polka dots for style points. I wore sneakers (which turned out to be a mistake, but more on that later) . I stretched out beforehand, and I had a few dances to warm up before the contest. But 8 the one thing I had not counted on was the incredible strength of Johnnie willpower. I know that people may think we are a dissolute bunch of 98 pound weak- First place lings with only our cunning and intellectual snobb ery to s tand on; but these people have not seen us polka. I doubt that the ten most elite midshipmen could out-polka the dozen or so couples that whirled around the Great Hall dance floor on Saturday night. A few middies in fact . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . showed up to watch the proceedings, and I detected a hint of envy and even fe ar in their faces as they watched us gallop. A ndrew (who had been re s ting up all evening in preparation) and I took our places. The old favorite, the "Beer Barrel Polka" began, and we started off strong. Now, I must say in our defense, both A ndrew and I had run ourselves pretty ragged in an early morning crew regatta, and at the time of the contest, I had been awake for 18 hours. So, the fact that we lasted as long as we did is impressive (at least, that's what I've been te lling m yself). We started off well, but by the end of the song, we were starting to feel the burn. I could not make my knees come up in the sprightly fa shion that t hey should. I was dragging. I admit it. But far, far more disheartening than the physical tiredness was the psychological shock we suffered at seeing almost every couple still in the running at the end of the first song. Polka continued on page 10 �Where to go for the best ... refined, but inexpensive date by Nic Zakheim Staff Writer There are three different kinds of dates out there, as far as I know - the cheap date, the expensive date, and the inexpensive date. The cheap date is the girl you hang out with while there's drinking involved. The key is, as long as you're somewhat amusing, and stick around until everyone's exhausted, you will probably be invited back to her room to ''hang out" some more. The expensive date is the girl you want to impress, so you take her out to a somewhat pricey restaurant and let her order anything and nearly everything she wants. You do this because it's more important that you make a good impression on her than that she have any common sense. You're more likely to get a stress-ulcer than a good night kiss at the end of that date, unless she's planning on paying you back in sexual favors, in which case it's your choice to decide whether she was worth it. The inexpensive date is the girl who talks about the menu with you, and gages what she might order based on what you show interest in. You don't want to be a cheapskate, and you want to eat someplace nice, but you also don't want to empty your wallet. By the way, she doesn't want you to either. Even if you both decide that you're going to split the check, this rule still applies. This is when you go to 49 West. 49 West Coffeehouse, \Vinebar and Gallery (with WiFi) is located at 49 West Street, after the bars, and past the ArtFx store. It has window, wall, center and outside seating, and the great thing is that you seat yourself wherever you like, and there's hardly a bad table in the house. The CD player is always playing something nice, and occasionally there's a live artist playing in the front section for no charge. 49 West also has live jazz playing in back, but that's with a $5-$10 cover charge and you still need to order. The walls are continually covered with new works by local artists and they're all for sale. Service, of course, depends on two things: how busy the restaurant is and what you order, the second often being more important than the first. If you each buy a cup of coffee, don't expect immediate refills. If you want your water refilled, that takes even more time. The food menu is eclectic and inspired by things that sound healthy and modern (even though some of the items are not), with prices ranging from $2 (piece of pastry/cup of coffee or tea)- $5(soup)$10 (appetizer platters that feed 2-4 people) - $23 dollars (the most expensive entree on the menu- Crab Cakes). The wine menu features wines from Australia, Italy and Africa, averaging $7 a glass and $27 for the bottle, with some additional wines sold only by the bottle for a bit more. You can't afford the artwork. While 49 \'{/est does have breakfast, lunch and dinner menus, you can order from the lunch menu any time, which I recommend, because it features their wonderful sandwich selection and soup or salad deals. On this inexpensive date, I would strongly suggest that you two decide whether you will split an appetizer and then go to the entree, or start with the entree, and finish with dessert. No matter what, make sure that you both order water and either regular coffee ($2 and free refills), classic loose tea ($2 and more hot water provided), or soda ($2 and free refills). I'm going to assume that the date will happen in the evening, in which case, if you go for an appetizer, my favorite is the Warmed Brie ($10), which comes accompanied by apples, grapes, crackers, baguette and whole grain mustard. It's very big, so you could theoretically put half on the side and eat -it for dessert with some honey. The soup prices vary from $5-$7, and often have one meat/ seafood and one vegetarian option. Sandwich prices range from $7 (Veggie-Pita sandwich with avocado) to 11arket Price (for the Crab Cake Sandwich. The Sandwiches can be as simple as an Albacore Tuna 1\{elt, or spruced up in to a Pesta Tuna Steak. They all come with a side green, potato or celery root salad (the last one just sort of tastes like coleslaw), or, if you add 1 dollar, you can have a side fresh fruit salad instead. Salads cost $6-$9, and you can add either grilled chicken or a tuna steak or shrimp for 3-4 dollars more. Entree platters are of course more expensive, ($12-$23) but they are also more cosmopolitan, and they are all served with a bundle of asparagus and potato planks. You can end the food part of your date with hot chocolate ($2.50), ice cream ($5ish), cake ($5ish) or an alcoholic coffee beverage ($7), but I hardly think you'll need the cake-like items, since you'll probably be stuffed at this point. Feel free to continue to sit and drink warm beverages and talk the night away as you digest, since 49 West is open for beverages until midnight, and serves food until about 10:3011 pm. Also, I would suggest taking your time on the date to enjoy yourselves this is the best setting in Annapolis if you just want to get to know someone without any time constraints or outside pressure. I would like to point out though, that 49 \Vest is also very single-friendly. So if you ever feel like taking yourself out to eat, or want to sit somewhere slightly away from downtown for hours on end reading with some coffee, this place is great for that too. Just remember to tip! Washington D. C. Chinatown Shutde: Sat. Oct. 29th. Shutde departs from gym lot at 10 AM and returns to campus by 6 PM. First come, flrst seated. .. THE GADFLY . 9 �Polka continued .from page 8 Andrew and I gasped a few words of shock and dismay to one another (none of which, I fear, are printable). The polkas played on ... and on .... and ON. Slowly, couples began to fall by the wayside. I knew, as we whipped around the floor, that my pride was about to take a fall. First place? No way. "Ok .. .let's aim for third," I panted to Andrew. "Yeah, I was going for that," he replied breathily as we tried to avoid careening in to Rose and Joao, (whose musculature was on full display as usual). "I have to win back my lederhosen." But a few minutes later, both of us came to a realization: lederhosen were really not worth this kind of anguish. My feet felt like they had been lit on fire: apparently, wearing tights and socks and shoes was causing some bad friction on the balls of my feet, and it hurt, folks. And yet, as we threw ourselves around the room (all thoughts of style quite gone from our minds), we watched in awe and despair as four other couples polkaed with grace and grim determination past us with no signs of stopping. Our day had passed, and we knew it. Now, Andrew is not one to be easily outdone, especially in games of endurance. Witness his erging in crew: he pushes himself to the limit to get the best times. So you can imagine the kind of shape we were in when he groaned, "Screw the lederhosen. This is our last spin." In front of the judges, he spun me out and we both ran to collapse against the doors. I did not care in the slightest that we had not placed. I was just thankful to be sitting. The polkaing continued for at least five or ten minutes after we dropped out, too. It finally narrowed down to three astounding couples: freshmen Kieran Dowdy and Chelsea Carpenter, senior 1\.fisha Rashkin and junior Caitrin Hill, and sophomore Liam Goodacre and junior Chelsea Batten. Dan and I began to be afraid that the contest 10 would never end. \Ve tried to make it harder: we banned promenades, and yet they kept going! It was a battle of wills. Finally, we told them that it would be a matter of style, since they ali had proved their endurance beyond question. Liam and Chelsea, who I think had been practicing this week in anticipation of the contest, busted out one move after another. At last, Kieran and Chelsea lost control Second and accepted third place with relief. Liam and Chelsea, for their incredible showmanship, won a well-deserved first place with gift certificates to Rams Head (they Third even took an encore lap to much amazement and applause). 1\-iisha and Caitrin deserve equal praise, however, since they had never previously polkaed together, and yet hung in there with grit and grace. And Kieran and Chelsea also deserve congratulations: Kieran timed their dancing . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . at 25 minutes. Just imagine, 25 minutes of non-stop polka. Their performance gives me hope for the future of waltz parties at St. John's. I spent the rest of the evening hobbling around and eating humble pie. But I must say, humble pie never tasted so good. Bravo to our winners and all of our contestants! And now, might I say a word in my capacity as archon? It has been a pleasure to see so many people at waltz parties this year. They are, in my opinion, second only to the Program itself in making the college distinctive (and awesome). Dan and I would really like to make waltz parties into a highlight for as much of the polity as possible. To that end, we have been trying out new things, and so many of you have been enthusiastic. Thank you for that enthusiasm and energy! We have some fun ideas in the works for the Parent's \'7eekend/Halloween waltz coming up in a few weeks, such as a cake waltz (like a cake walk, only waltzing!) and a bake sale. But I would like to know, what do YOU want, 0 Polity? The Waltz Committee is here to serve you, and you are here to be part of it if you wish. \'7e often have brainstorming meetings after Tuesday night dance lessons. Please come and learn to dance and give us feedback and fresh ideas. Dance lessons will be in the Great Hall for the next few weeks, on Tuesdays from 8-9 p.m., and hopefully we will begin working on some new dances, such as \Vest Coast Swing and Salsa. Regardless, I would appreciate any feedback that people have, particularly about refreshments and music type. \'7hat food or beverage would you like to be able to buy? Is there a kind of music you want to hear more of (or less of)? This inquiring mind wants to know (but please just don't ask me to sell bottles of champagne, it is a no-go with the liquor board and other powers that be). Tell me in person, or send a note in campus mail. Now if you'll all excuse me, I have to soak my feet in Epsom salt and take some asptnn. �Sports Column up in the end zone. If there were a fifth-quarter (quinter?) to go along with fifth-down, the Waves could have come back; but that would be just too by Ara Geukguezian Staff Writer -Wednesday, October 5-Husders v. Spartans The Spartans only had seven players to start !he game--<>ota goodideawhen playing against a team tied for first They offset their numerical disadvantage wilh an early touchdown pass on fifth-down from Rob Hurst to O=les Gil-Maarten, who barely stayed in bounds for the catch. TI1e Hustlers responded with some .fifth-down magic oftheir own, asJason Smilh rocketed !he ball to Mike Dobbyn to get on the board. The Brothas in Blue responded wilh an astounding play alllheway downfield, wilh Ian Hanover touching !he ball twice before finding Will Kelly in the end zone. They then recovered a Mike \1(/ufumble fora touchdown to Clint Richards. Dave Ferrell had a rare missed field goal, and !he Hustlers also had a touchdown taken away from !hem by Hanovet Thafs when !he Red Fury started up: Dobbyn flew up !he touchline and fired a touchdown to Dan Russell A crazy lhree-fumble play ended in the end zone with Charles Heming. and Dobbyn scored off of a rebound to seal !he deal. Oh, and bolh Rob Hurst and JVlike Wu had amazing games at quarterback. Just ask them. They'll tell you. 1" 2"" 3"' 4'" Hustlers 8 0 14 6 Spartans 14 7 0 0 Fin:u 28 21 -Wednesday, October 12GreenWavesv. Spartans I missed most of this game because of an oral; but. seriously, what kind of lame excuse is that? On to the game: Cbades Gill-Marten had two interceptions and four touchdowns to lead the Spartans, while Noah Rossetter had two touchdown for the \Vaves. Both teams had their highest scores of the season. 1•t znd 3ro 4rh Final Waves 7 8 Spartans 21 7 0 14 12 7 27 49 -Satorday, October 15-Guardians v. GreenWaves I also missed a lot of this game, but for a much better reason: sleep. Anyways, the Guardians came outstrong1n the first half. Andrew Romitihad two touchdowns and an interception, and Chris Bea and Sam Hitchcock-Tilton added scores of their own. The Waves resurged in the second hal£ wifu three underhanded slings from J arod Ruleaux winding over the top. 1'1 znd 3n:l Guardians 20 8 6 Waves 0 0 6 4'" Final 0 34 13 19 Druids v. Hustlers The Druids started their game off!he rightwa)' GarretDre=ler and Nick Olmsteadhadinterceptions,andM,ttMcLeanbadakickofffumblerecovery, two of the plays leading to touchdowns by Dre:der and Giovanni Smedlej< Cbades Fleming caught a touchdown pass for the Hustlers, after a big run by Mike Dobbyn, and Tobias Russell hit litrle brofuerJames in the end zone. The Fuzz pitched in with a gobsmackingcatch offofa weird rebound fora two-point conversion. "G Rex" Drex then ran fora touchdown, at which point both defenses sudderlly kicked in: the Dmids had a key downfield stop, followed by a key-er fumble recovery by the Hustlers. The next two series were four-and-outs-but G. Rex's punt ricocheted off Dobbyn, and he recovered the ballfortheDruids. Dave Cantine bad a pass tipped by Logan Smith, but Ian Michaels managed to catch it for another score. The Druids' stellar performance was marred by two roughingthe-passer penaltie& Just thought I'd add that 1" 2"" 3"1 4'" Final Druids 7 7 7 7 28 Hustlers 0 15 0 0 15 -Sunday, October 16-Hustlers v. Guardians Suuny Day + No Subs = Test of Endurance. The Guardians, up by one player, bad many chances in tl1e first half; but were repeated denied by the elemental forces ofWmd and Fuzz. Early in d1e second half; "Glaukwn" broke away, got abead of theFuzz,andplaced the ballinto fuenet The Hustlers, lhernselves now up one player, had plenty of their own chances, but couldn't come through, as the Guardians won fueir first game (1n soccer). 1' 1 znd Final Hustlers 0 0 0 Guardians 0 1 1 Spartans v. \\laves Nate Whitman drew first blood, and was answered by Louis Spies, who was re-answered by "Milk" (all goals, ofcourse). After several chances, Nick Whittier dribbled abouts, then fired into the net Then 'Whitman got a header off an assist by Whittier. And tl10ugh Patrick Rieder punched in a goalfortheSpartans,lvlilk put lhenallin the coffin with a successfiU penaltykick. 1" 2"' Final Spartans 1 1 2 Waves 2 3 5 Football Standings: Team w L PF Guardi:Uls 5 1 123 !-Ius tier> 5 2 175 Druids 5 2 136 Spartans 2 5 157 GreenWavesO 7 92 PA 84 126 92 148 233 AGS 21-14 25-18 19-13 22-21 13-33 4QS 20-19 26-34 42-14 22-36 33-40 Forget baseballl Here's the real Hunt for October We've got three teams vying for the championship, and three games left in the season. Gmu .Ara gives you the low-down: TI1e Druids need to beat the \\laves to rerrulinin contention-easier done than said. The Guardians--Husders game will be the one to watch. If the Hustlers win, they clinch at least a tie for first. Ifthe Guardians win, they will be in command But, The Spartans have a chance to play the spoiler, and ruin d1e Guardians' hope for an uncontested championship So here are the possible scenarios: Hustlers win + Guardians and Druids lose their final games =Hustlers champs Guardians win out= Guardians champs Guardians win over Hustlers, lose to Spartans +Druids lose = Gu.w:lians champs • Same scenario, but with Druids winning = Guardians and Druids tie for first Husders win + Druids lose + Guardians win final game = Husders and Guardians tie Hustlers win+ Druids win+ Guardians lose final game = Hustlers and Druids tie Same scenario, but with Guardians winning final game= illllhree teams tie IYou Make the Call: Ourlastpuzzlerwascorrecrlyansweredfirst bylvlissEleanorClrukAccordingtoFIFA,you may change goal keepers at any time dnring a match provided you do so during a stoppage of play, and the referee is first notified of !he change. And now for this week's teaser: According to FIFA, a coin is tossed to start the game, and the ream that wins the toss decides what? First one tome with the right call goes to !he bookstore on me. You may leave yout call onmyvoicemail,x2558. . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY 11 �DATE DUE THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 I<UNAI SPORTS by Stacey Goguen Staff Writer Tuesday (Oct 11): Banging Fruits (Maroon-Blue) vs. Giant Lyres (Go ldGreen). It was the first rain-game of the season, and everyone thoroughly enjoyed getting wet and falling down at least once. The game started with nine players for each team, sans goalie. Although there was a lot of back and forth action without either team pushing the b all more than the other, each side was able to score. Emma Plaut (gold) scored three times for the G iant Lyres, whereas for the Banging Fruits Joanna Lu eck scored once and Aubrey Nighswander scored twice. The half ended in a tie, 3-3. The second half consisted of the more frustrating kind of back-and-forth play, where neither side is able to gain any ground for long. Only one goal was scored, by Molly Bowers (green), which gave the game to the Giant Lyres, 4 -3. Just for clarification, most kunai agree that Tuesday's game was trem endous fun and anyone who doesn't I come out to play because of rain is really missing the best games. Friday (Oct 14): Orange (MaroonGold) vs. Aqua Marine (Green-Blue). The theme for the day was practicing throwins. Abou t a dozen to twenty of them were made during the whole game. Throw-in master for first half was Anna J ohnson, second half Laura Cate. Each side had a full field once subs showed up after the start. Orange seemed to have most of the dominant forces on their side, but the game turned out to be very evenly matched. One goal was scored during the first half, by Emma Pla ut (Gold). In the second half, play was taken away from the sides, reducing the amount of throw-ins greatly; however, there was Standing: Fruit Snacks Golden Lyres Jolly Green Giants Blue Bangers 1 1~--------- a lot more sh ooting this ha lf - A ubrey N ighswander (Maro on) scored on a penalty shot. Caitren Hi ll had a few good runs with beautiful sh ots, but the gods were not on her side. Lola Price scored an invalid goal that had bounced off the football post-thingy. Some of these goals had wonderful assists, and those people who know who they are (but unfortunately I do not) should give themselves a pat on the back. Interesting moments of the day included goalie April Sharp sliding on the ground and blocking a shot with her head (ending up several inches away from the goal post), and Samantha Enns jumping to block an incoming ball, which then hit her in the neck, the impact throwing her to th e ground. MaroonGold won, 2-0. Wins Loses 4 5 1 8 5 4 1 8 Ties 1 1 1 1 Team Goals 22 30 19 15 Athletes of the Week Ms. Williams 12 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mr. Myers Indiv. Goals 9 19 8 4 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 6 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-10-19 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 6 of The Gadfly. Published October 19, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.6 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 7 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-10-26 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 7 of The Gadfly. Published October 26, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.7 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/e4eaa920888a0001f5b96b7865eb1efb.pdf 225da0105d48aad7661257b96e90d52d PDF Text Text GADFLY The St. John's College Student JY/eek!J' Volume XXVII, Issue 8 AnnapoliJ·, Maryland November 1 2005 Concert Review: SJC Chamber Music Society by Mark McClay Staff Writer Fig. 1 The Duck Rabbit... or the Rabbit Duck Lecture Review: On Seeing Aspects by Aaron Berwick Roberts Staff Writer "To the Philosopher, there is perhaps one underlying question: '\Vhat is there?'" And so this was the question tutor John Verdi's used in opening his Friday lecture, "On Seeing Aspects." }..-fodern academia's response to the question might be "everything;'' but this is aresponse which pithily silences the very question, thus giving us little insight into the nature of things (or as l'vfr. Verdi put it, the inexhaustible beiniJ. As 1\-ir. Verdi remarked, "Philosophy still believes that the effort to comprehend the unity of everything is still worthwhile." Some time ago, lvfr. Verdi's second reading of St. Augustine's Confts.rions brought with it a strangely ambivalent conviction that were he to read The Co11jessions once more, his conception of the world might change wholly; perhaps irreversibly. What is the Philosopher's conception of being but the provisional response to the guiding princip~e of'What is there?" Is the change in -'One's response to this question, then, the Conversion Experience, or is Conversion-as one individual contended after the lecture--diametrically opposed to Philosophy? 1\fight the potential for Conversion be explored in the same way as one might investigate the phenomenon of aspect? The reader, I presume, is familiar with both the concept of The Rabbit and The Duck. Clearly, the concept of The Rabbit is Seeing Aspects continued on page 5 Last Tuesday saw a recital of the Chamber Society of St. John's College in the Great Hall, featuring the music of lvfozart, Beethoven, Chopin, and St. John's tutor David Stephenson. Performers included cellist Eric Stoltzfus, pianist Elliott Zuckerman, soprano Helen Stephenson, and guest artist pianist Francis Conlon. l\Ir. Conlon opened the concert with a performance of Mozart's popular Sonata in A major, K 331 (which will also be the subject of a Friday lecture by Ms. WyeAllanbrook on Nov. 18); on the whole this particular performance was quite able, but not especially memorable. Performing Tvfozart well is much, much harder d1an many people seem to realize (Consider how few major pianists seem to "specialize" in 1\Jozart: Alfred Brendel? Murray Perahia? Mitsuko Uchida? Perhaps a handful of others?). The deceptive, transparent simplicity of Mozart's music leaves little room for error on the part of the performer. For the pianist, there is simply nowhere to hide in the smooth, elegant, seamless fabric of .i\fozart's music. 1\Iy own experience is that playing l\Jozart can feel somewhat like trying on new badUng suits: all those flaws which one typically manages to conceal are brought unpleasantly to d1e fore. The two works by 1\'Ir. Stephenson were both art songs, sung by 1\.frs. Stephenson and accompanied by Mr. Conlon: the first, J11oljy} Mono!og, was a setting of the famous closing words of James Joyce's Ufysses, the second, Sea Songs, a setting of four poems of Heinrich Heine. Concert Review continued on page 7 �l THE ...--GADFLY Editors-in-Chief Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Photographers Clarl< Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Aaron Berwick Roberts Brendan Clay liz Cnrry Ara Guekguezian Mark McClay Leo Pickens Judy Seeger Jennifer Wright WebsterYe NicZakheim Founded in 1980, the Gadffy is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gar!ffy staff. The Gadffy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Garfib' is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are gready preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. Re: The Dorm Situation Dear Mr. Bmgerand Mr. Gates, October 27, 2005 I don't know how close to the assismnt deru1's office your sources were smnding when they told you that the college is setiouslyconsideringno longer allowing sophomores to live off campus because we have built too many rooms and need to fill them all, but that statement is not true. The new dorms have been built for the sake of fostering community, but also because nearby housing that students can afford is becoming ever scarcer as gentrification and consolidation ofrental pmperties by a few large companies proceed apace in Annapolis. There is no reason to expect the trend to be reversed Wehadheenanricipatingfuisproblemforawhile, and were planning to build newdonnitories to address it when, about five years ago, a large number of upperclassmen suddenly discovered, late in the surrnner, that the off-campus housing they had counted on had, in effect, v.m.ished That was the year we put freshmen in triples. Every spring since then, even with triples and fue completion ofGilliam last year, nearly 50 students have found themselves on a waiting list for housing We do not intend to house everyone - of course, some students will want to live offcampus and will be able to do so. What we are planning to do is abolish triples as soon as we possibly can (beginninginJanuary), and, in fuelongerterm, to enhance life in the older dorms by providing more common space in them. Sincerely, Judy Seeger An Apology Dear Members of fuePolity, I wish to convey my most sincere apology to lvlr. Roosevelt Langley for the unfortunate incident of Thursday last I deeply deplore the series of misunderstandings and hasty decisions fuat has led to the present situation. I regret myill-fonned judgment to resort to an extreme action that did not befittheconductofamemheroffuisCollege. lam cognizant of this fimlt of mine, and I call on all members ofthe Polity and associated members of fue College Community to work together in a spirit of unanimity, friendship, and good will in order to prevent any reoccurrence ofsuch an incident and to strive towards restoring-a community of harmony. lam, Most sincerely yours, Webster Ye 2 SCI Minutes The Student Committee on Instruction met in the Private Dining Room at 11:45 a.m. pm Thursday, October 27, 2005. 11embers present: Beall, Wilford, Goguen, Croker, Hurst, Curry. Others: Sarah Else, Allie (representative from the Graduate Council). Ms. Beall invited Allie to describe the purpose of the Graduate Council. She explained that the Graduate Council is a newly formed body of Graduate Institute students who want to boost interaction among the Graduate Institute's polity, as well as between G.Ls and undergraduates. Concerning the encouragement of interaction between grads and undergrads, however, the council is unsure how to proceed. She will report back to the Graduate Council any pertinent information concerning events that the SCI plans to hold (i.e. Student-Tutor Potluck, All-College Seminars). Sub-committee progress reports: Ms. Goguen spoke for the SCI on SCI subcommittee. Its purpose is to make the SCI on SCI responsible for getting the polity better acquainted with the SCI. It will also address the SCI's charter reform. Plans: mass mailing to the freshmen re: freshman representative elections next semester (more mass mailings in general) and the institution of a more rigorous method of gathering student opinion. Before the SCI can proceed with any further Charter reform, it must meet with both the D.C. and the Instruction Committee to flesh out how the SCI can best serve these two organizations and the polity as a whole. l\1r. Croker, for the sub-committee on Student-Tutor Relationships: The subcommittee's primary objective: to prepare a report of this perennial question to the IC on what aspect of student-tutor relationships is most important to the polity. In particular, he wishes to address what type of tutor preparedness students find most beneficial in the classroom. He plans to hold a tutor panel on the subject, hopefully later in the semester, and a lunchtime forum sometime next semester. Minutes continued on page 5 THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �The Umphrey Dance This week, instead of Jews' Clues, Tbc Gadffy is proud to present the return of the "Umphrey Umph". The following song was performed during Senior Prank in April of 1998. This song is to be sung to d1e tune of "The Humpty Dance," an early-90s rap hit by the Digital Underground, featuring a young Tupac. by Gangsta vous Stop what you're doin' 'cause I'm about to ruin the image of the tutor you're used to. I look old-but yo my pees are gold, see, So yo I hope d1e gym is ready for me. Now gather round, Listen to my verbs and norms. Here're my mental powers-who'll be the first I confound? I'll drink the hemlock on your shelf, But I'll live 'cause Socrates a sucka-let me introduce myself: J'vfy name is Umphrey, Pronounced like "he's so much smarter than me," Oh sophists how I'd like to stump thee. All you tutors up for tenure-please allow me to bump thee. I'm like Tyson and you're Holyfield; You'll lend me your ear when my knowledge I yield. I hke to tlllnk. I like my thoughts speedy, I'm meaty. I won my wife from Bruce Lee. I never miss-straight Umphrey mac, I'm not silly, I'm not .ridiculous, I'm dope-I'll bring your mind fire like Prometheus. Hey chunky tutor, come here, yo' body fat like Plato. I'll make you work your brain, I'll make you work your gut. I'm like a god-listen to my mind go boom. lvfy thoughts are still thinking themselves in a Burger King bathroom. I'm smart-for breakfast I eat men like Sartre. !viaybe you've heard me-I'm number one on the philosophy chart. I'm still getting into men's minds all the while, Makin them dance hke this, Umphrey Style: The Umphrey dance is your chance to do the umph ("vous me baby, do the Umphrey-Umph ... ") People say, "yo you look about ninety." That's ok cause in the :ring they'll find me Ya stare, ya grin-just don't shove, Or you'll get a taste of my golden glove. I got the fever, I got the fever for the flavor of knowledge; That's why I'm chillin' at this college. I look like Zeus-I hand-pick my vous; Heroic/ stoic-ask me anything, I'm guaranteed to know it. My vous is big-na uh, I'm not ashamed. It's unabridged, 24/7 there's a party in my brain. Students shop my mind like it's a mall, I'm the tutor you'd want to help you in a brawl. I wrote a book without pictures so it's not for the masses, But its brighter than the sun so grab your sunglasses. But I'm strange-! like to make 'em think, I keep them guessing when I wear shirts that are green and hot pink. 1viyvoiceis deep-my biceps are steep, And when I talk you'd best not make a peep. Now here's a little something-it's better than romance, They're the moves that move themselves-it's the Umpluey Dance. [chorus] (add: "flexy baby") Now I told you about myself, let me tell you about this dance: First I find something to contemplate Y'know, something worthy of the Urn ph, Then I stroke my beard and twitch my rump. I put my leg over here, And sweep it around like I's a star in a fixed sphere. People say "you look like you been hittin the beer." But I don't drink-I don't even eat, I got all the answers, but no I don't cheat. . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Death Becomes Her by Jennifer Wright Staff Writer I know that I ought to write on something directly pertaining to our lives at St. John's, and that I ought to be terribly tongue in cheek about some social trend, but how can I, when all I can think about is Tim Burton's Corpse Bn'de? It's the only thing I've really been obsessed with in ages. I'm a.1amore~ I'm enraptured, never have I cared for a human being so much as I care for Corpse Bride. People offer to take me out for the evening, invariably people who think I'm going to make channing conversation with them over a leisurely dinner, and they ask me what I'd like to do, and nal. Victor is a sensitive, timid, socially awkward lad living in a stultifying black-and-white version of Victorian England, with only occasional spots of color interjected by passing butterflies. He's about to be forced into an arranged marriage to Victoria Everglot (Emily Watson) by his social climbing parents. However, when Victor and Victoria meet, Victoria proves every bit as sweet and timid as Victor- they even bear an uncanny physical resemblance to each other- and romance blossoms between the two. It seems as though things might work out for the best in a direct affront to bourgeois Victorian sensibilities, until Victor, struck by a paroxysm of awkwardness, botches the wedding rehearsal. Afterwards, he I reply, 'We're going to go see Corpse Bride. We can get to the 3:00 show, which will end at 4:20, which will leave us half an hour for a quick bite, before we run back, and see it again at 5:00." I wish I were joking. I'm convlnced it's the best thing in theaters, possibly ever. To hell with Capote, screw Good Night, And Good Lu,k and piffle on Everything is Illllmi!lated If you're going to see a movie at some time in the near future, make it Corpse Bride. And generally, I'm a terrible moviegoer. I sneer. I deride. I make jokes about factual inconsistencies. I laugh hysterically at moments when no one else in the theater laughs (if you find you have a similar problem, I think we should get together and watch King- dom rf Heavm). But with Corpse Bride? Oh, Corpse Bn.de had me at the maggot. I love the maggot. I love the black widow spiders as well, as they sing songs, and repair suits in a way that reminds me of Cinderella(when I was seven- I was a very serious child- I swore d1at I would never again watch animated film, as animation had clearly reached the pinnacle of its to find anyone in d1e theater who'd admit to preferring to live in the above world than in Hell. But then, you might be equally hard pressed to find someone who considered himself d10roughly bourgeois rather than bohemian. I realize, and have found, that the similarity of these two oddity ridden netherworlds betokens comparison with Tim Burton's other wellknown animated film, The Nightmare Before Christmas. 'Wow;' people exclaim to me, when I tell them I'm going off to see Corpse Bride for the sixth time, "I thought it was oka)~ But wow, you'll really love The Nightmare Bifbre ChnStmas." I proceeded to watch it. And I did like it, a lot But I don't need to see it six times. I feel like the difference between the two may be that The Nightmare Before Christmas seems to be mostly about having fun in cool spooky ways, whereas Corpse Bride is about self sacrifice, and tragedy, and the universal unquenchable need for love. If The Nightmare Before Christmas was a jazzy number by Duke Ellington, then Corpse Bride is a waltz by Schubert. wanders through the woods attempting to memorize his vows. His practice vows are over- heard by Corpse Bride-Emily (Helena Bonham Carter) -who accepts them as an offer of marriage, and promptly whisks him away to the un- derworld. The underworld itself is as different from the world of the living as Oz is from Kansas. It's a wonderful riotously colored place that features art form with Cinderella. I did not, until S hrek a jazzy band led by hepcat Bonejangles. It's remi- lured me in once more. Corpse Bride is far better than Cinderella). But more than the spiders, I love the maggot. He's green and has enormous buck teeth and a voice like Peter Lone's and he lives behind the deceased heroine's easily detachable eyeball. He is a funny creature, and ghoulish, as I suppose maggots are wont to be, but there's a great heart inside that wiggly little torso. At fust, the reaction is just that he's a maggot- and maggots are by their nature disconcerting- but then you realize he's a great souled maggot. I think he's emblematic of the entire movie, which evolves from a creepy cocoon to a beautiful butterfly. The movie itself begins with Victor Van Dort niscent of nothing so much as Rive Gauche Paris at the tum of the centur)~ \Vhile everyone in the upper world seems ruled by propriety and plans, in Hell a sense ofbohemian;Oie de uive (or should it be joie de mort?) reigns supreme. \Vhen compared to the land of the living it's quite easy to see why one character notes that, "people are dying to get down here." I think it must be an appealing message to any Johnnie, or, heavens, to any young person, that we can walk back and forth between a bohemian world filled with music and dancing and the world of tradition inhabited by our parents. Victor himself seems to feel a strong pull towards both. But then, it is a Tim Burton film, and I think you'd be hard pressed (johnny Depp) drawing butterflies in his jour- 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . And a lot of the difference between the two may lie in the bride herself- who does, in one of my favorite scenes, break into a waltz under the full moon. Emily really is fabulous, albeit as different from Victor as Victoria is similar. She's popular, she's clever, she's sarcastic, she's a little bit intense and yet she's also terribly vulnerable and has suffered in ways that Victor is yet to imagine. But, throughout everything she radiates an almost ecstatic hopefulness - to my mind she's the most alive character in the fihn. And, did I mention she's drop dead gorgeous? She is. Or at least as gorgeous as you can be once you've actually dropped dead. Still, it seems fair to say that death becomes her. I love Emily. Much of the genius of the film is that Tim Burton has made the Cotpse Bride an object of sympathy, or a figure we can empathize with, rather than a horror or some sort of undead femme fatale. Instead, she's really a remarkable gothic heroine- doomed, but imbued ,vi_th a great sense of kindness and a penchant for the romantic. If I could find a button with her picture on it, I would wear it proudly on my lapel for all eternity. One of the things I like best about the movie is that it's one of those rare films where every character in a love triangle is likable in their own way. Both Victoria and Emily are quite a catch Death Becomes Her continued on page 7 �ential. The canvas is covered in tiny, meticulous brush strokes, depositing swirls not synonymous with that of The DUck, and lines in a parsimonious use of color, and yet the visual image in Fig.l evokes both vi- and yet the emotive expression on the vissual categories. In this image, the phenom- ages of those depicted in the painting are enon of aspect is at work. Does the capacity recognizably present. As 1\fr. Verdi would of this image to evoke two contrary visual have it, seeing is one form that thought categories raise the status of the question, takes in our eyes. "\Vhat is there," to that of irresolvable paraAspects are, in a sense, meanings. Movdox? Or perhaps the phenomenon of aspect ing from the visual arts to the written word, sheds light on the nature of the Conversion 1\1r. Verdi suggested that words have physiExperience, for as Verdi notes, both images ognomies, which deftly contribute to the are there, though the two visual categories intrigue we hold for poesy. What does it vacillate from one to the other. This is surely mean to play Tchaikovsky "with much majnot a hallucination of the type shown in esty?" Fig.2, in which the "1find's eye" perceives Mr. Verdi stated that aspect is not part line AB to be greater than line BC, when in of the face like a nose is. At least nominally, we do not infer fact measurement reor reason aspects veals that they are into existence. equal. The Duck and 1\Tr. Verdi asThe Rabbit are both serted that each there. aspect has been Gazing into clouds there all along. reveals a multitude of Yet if aspect is images-though alto be underways images with stood as having which we were previFig.2 been present irously acquainted. To assert that the recognition of these images is respective of man, then aspect must be qualsometimes hidden from us is to presuppose ity of the object. It is my understanding that clouds are ordered in such a way as to that particularly adept musicians tend to form certain images. And yet, it is sometimes have a t'orpus ml/osum that is abnormal in some way (i.e., deviwith the aid of a couple words ating from the mean). ("Mother, do you see Does this irregular physiology cause Rudolf?") that we are able to apprehend an them to perceive a image unmistakably, greater magnitude of aspect? lvfr. Verdi and thus perceive a unity formed from posed a situation in what was only mowhich a patient who suffers a brain trarnna ments before a total disunity. Refer to might become aspectually-myopic. Fig.3. Flip the image 180U. Let it be said Yet, 1\1r. Verdi propounded, these acthat a couple sentences counts are not satisof verbal description Fig.3 factory; they fail to was sufficient for most of the audience to impose a previously explain why we see aspects. However, one unattained order on the image. (Please ask a might think human physiology is dim:tfy friend or write to Jew's Clues for further ad- implicated in all those events in which pervice in making sense of Fig.3.) ception of phenomena is affected as a funcThe paradox of aspect seems to be, as tion of changes in human physiology. Is it 1fr. Verdi put it, that "What we see is and is really the case that the explication of the not there." Ivfr. Verdi used the biblical con- mere faculties of sight and thought is unversion scene of Caravaggio's ''The Calling satisfactory for attempting to resolve this of St. }.tatthew" to illustrate ways in which strange paradox? aspects are both immediate and non-inferAs lvfr. Verdi later said: Seeing Aspects continued from front page iSld' b \' \ \ "I don't doubt that neurophysiological study could come up with the underlying causes of certain forms of aspect perception. My argument in the lecture was that a causal account does not determine the place of aspects in our conceptual world. To take an extreme case: suppose physiology could detail the causes of a poet's writing a certain poem. It has not thereby made any progress at all in uncovering the meaning of the poem. Causality and concept are not related in a simple way. It's certainly not always true that causality reveals concept. It may not even be true most of the time." But what then is concept? And what is the relationship of t'Oilt'ept to man? Minutes continued ftom page 2 Mr. Hurst, for the sub-committee on the Student Handbook: The subcommittee's primary objective is to address the issue of the student handbook's strange mixture of ideal and practical expectations and solutions to problems in the polity. The polity's interest, which appeared to be strong at the beginning of the semester, has begun to wane. He and l\fr. Geannikis have already held a forum, which they thought was lightly attended. They are working to boost interest by means of Gadfly articles such as Mr. Geannikis' in the latest edition. Fifth Item: Planning of the StudentTutor potluck. Details: Dessert potluck (desserts, coffee, tea, cheese and crackers, wine and possibly dessert liquors) in the Boathouse. A short survey will be sent to the tutors early next week to gather opinion about the date of the event. Invitations will be made up next weekend and will be individually distributed. As the meeting concluded Allie invited SCI members to attend the Graduate Council meetings, and was thanked profusely by the SCI members for her attendance at this SCI meeting. Next week's meeting will be an open discussion; no formal agenda. All members of the polity are invited to attend. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Where to go for the best ... coffee, pastry and people watching. by Nic Zakheim Staff Writer J\fy apologies to anyone who actually reads this column for its absence last week - there were certain budgetary constraints that made it impossible to contribute to tills illustrious publication. Next week I would like to do an article on the working conditions in the various local eateries, so please send me a note through campus mail either to meet and talk about your place of work, or a short note describing your work experience. Now to this week's food review; In keeping \vith tl1e cheap side of wining and dining in Annapolis, I'd like to focus on how going out for a cup of coffee can get ridiculously expensive, if you're not careful. Getting coffee in Annapolis can sometimes be a chore in and of itself, when you consider the fact that there are so many Cafes within a three block radius. There's 49 West (from two weeks ago), two City Docks, Hard Bean Coffee and Books, a Starbucks, and a little shop called the Corner Cafe. Focusing exclusively on the coffee aspect, we're down to the two City Docks, the Hard Bean, and the Starbucks. I maintain that all Starbucks are the same, so I won't bother with it. So let's focus on the City Dock Cafes, one of which I am sitting in right now, and having my table continuously getting knocked by assorted yuppies and their children. City Dock has one location on Maryland Avenue, and another at 181\farket Street. Usually, when I think of the term "local watering hole," I think of the place where people go out for an alcoholic beverage, but while City Dock doesn't serve alcohol, it certainly seems like the place to be, especially on Sunday mornings. I like to go down to the JVfarket Street location on Sunday mornings, since there are more places to sit (theoretically), and it's much easier to ignore people (probably because it's always easier to ignore expensive townies than interesting looking or friendly people). The problem is to actually find a place to sit, since the shop fills up fast, with people ordering their skinny mochas and blueberry scones, and discussing when they're going to be going up to their,vlnter cabins, or the new renovations they've made on their boats (Can I point out how ridiculous it is to order a skinny mochacino? Just because its 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . skim milk doesn't mean that all the chocolate squirts and the frikkin' scone don't count!). City Dock did win Best Coffeeshop and Best Pastry in last year's Best of Annapolis, but to be quite honest, there's not a lot to choose from in this tiny town. When I go to the I\·ID Ave location, I like to sit in the window and watch the people go by as I do my homework; but girls: if you are sitting there wearing a short skirt, beat in mind that people can see you too, and that the window sofa is almost at eye-level Back to the coffee. The only way to keep your cup of coffee from costing less than two dollars is to go with good old fashioned black coffee, and to bring your own travel mug. Everything else immediately rockets up to $2+ dollars for the smallest cup. The travel mug takes off about 50 cents from the total cost. Refills on black are also only fifty cents more if you've stayed in the store. You may also have the chance to get 25 cents off your coffee if you answer the daily quiz in the downtown location correctly. (foday's was "'What is a Tussy 1\.fussy?" Answer: "a little pouch of fragrant herbs used to block the smell of'city odors"'). Also, if you get your City Dock card punched every time you purchase a cup of coffee, after ten visits (costing anywhere from $15 dollars and above), the eleventh cup of coffee is free (if it costs less than $3.15). Coffee starts to go stale about 15 minutes after it's been brewed, so it's a good idea to go to the store on 1\1arket Street where the tumover is faster. The line to get in and order, however, can sometimes be ridiculous, and you can actually be standing outside the front door for a couple of minutes (which is not fun when it's cold and/ or when you're lugging all your homework in with you). And then there's the seating issue. It's actually easier to find a seat at the 1-ID Ave location, mostly because of the general hole-in-the-wall,-coffee-shop feel to the place. People are more likely to be friendly and share a space with you, not to mention tlut there's something about the downtown location that inspires the more bitchy side of everyone. It's probably because the store is more by the tourist trap side of the town. Well, that is aside from the weird guy with a pointy goatee sitting at the table across from me who's rocking it out with his headphones and mugger's cap, a tattoo around his neck and a Hawaiian shirt. He's also got a blackberry on his waist and is playing an imaginary synthesizer on his laptop. \Vhere did he come from? He's definitely not the stereotypical post-church and soccer practice local, or the ricl1, overly made-up and adorned teenage girls who got out of cheerleading practice and now want to buy some jewelry. If you like the City Dock Hi-Fiber muffins, or any of their other pastries, you're more likely to be able to find them at the downtown location if youlooklaterin the day. The pastries at the lviD Ave location sell out fairly quickly with the morning rush of State House employees. Sometimes there are quality control issues with the muffins, but you can always get the phone number of the bakery and complain, or exchange it for something else. Another word about the muffins and scones: they are big and probably are supposed to serve two people. Please keep this, and the fact that low fat '•low calorie, in mind when you eat them. The shops also carry quiches, soups, sandwiches and bagels, but they range from $1-$10 dollars depending on what you buy. Only the 1\ID Ave location carries flavored brews of coffee, probably because the people who go to d1e downtown store are more willing to pay an extra fifty cents to get a shot of flavor in their coffee. They are also the people who are more likely to buy food. \Vhen it's warmer, the downtown store is pleasant because it has outside seating, but then you have to deal with the dogs, the dogwalkers, and the tourists that completely disregard your existence and try to walk over you as you sit by your table. City Dock's popularity probably has to do, in part, with the fact that it is a locally owned and operated coffee shop, and the fact that it has more wooden furnishings than any other place in town, which is always a plus. Its coffee is still better than anywhere else in town, but once, again, that's not necessarily saying much. I was told to point out that City Dock is the only coffee shop offering Jamaican Iced Tea, but when I asked whether there were any Jamaicans associated with the store, I received no response. Tipping coffee is tricky, but try tossing your spare change, or a dollar into the tip jar whenever you can, please. �Concert Review continued from front page Both works are atonal. The first of these was very effective in bringing out the strange, almost catatonic quality of Joyce's torrent of words and plu-ases sans punctuation, with emphasis placed (of course) on the recurring word "yes." Sea So11gs, on the other hand, showed a much wider variety of harmonic color and texture in the accompaniment, as well as being more strongly lyrical in the vocal part. In certain places, such as in the second movement, the piano provides an almost impressionistic texture. Further, the use of "free" atonality leads to a number of almost "tonal-sounding" moments in which the dissonance is restrained. Throughout the work, the voc.'llline makes full use of the poignant, expressionistic melodic tendencies of atonal music; this, coupled with the richly chromatic harmonic palette which are native to the atonal idiom, make a powerful and compelling text-sett:ingof Heine's text. Following intermission, Ivfr. Zuckerman performed two Chopin Polonaises Nos. 1 and 2in C-sharp minor and E-flat minor, respectively. Prefacing his performance with a briefbut helpful speech explaining the structure of the Polonaise, both in its origin as a popular dance and as Chopin made use of it.ldr. Zuckerman's playing vividly captures the spirit of these works: the liberal but tasteful use of rubato and rhythmic suppleness, the attention to Chopin's rich but subtle countetpoint, and an attention to the mood and character of the music are all hallmarks of fine Chopin performance. Perhaps the most enjoyable event of the evening was the performance by :Mr. Zuckerman and l\1r. Stoltzfus of Beethoven's Cello Sonata Death Becomes Her continued from page 4 in G minor, Op. 5 No. 2. The performance showed tremendous attention to detail, particularly the "conversational" interplay and handing · (and, when they do meet, they get on rather well) off of melody between the two instruments, as and it's understandable that Victorwould be tom well as to the larger structure of the piece. As between the two. Thus Corpse Bn'de offers a picwith most early Beethoven, this sonata could be ture of the difficulties and attractions of oppoviewed simply as an imperfect prefiguration of · site personality types being together, versus simigreat things to come - and in truth, such an lar personality types. Emily offers Victor an opapproach would not be without some truth. But portunity for spiritual growth - and indeed, as the movie progresses he seems to become more such a reductive attitude fails to adequately appreciate the amazing flights ofmusical imagina- assertive as a direct result of his interaction with tion to be found in early Beethoven. Leonard her- while Victoria can offer Victor unconditional love, just as he is (which is certainly nothBernstein once memorably defined musical form as "the ability to know what the next note has to ing to scoff at). The only thing that truly concerned me durbe." The finest moments of this sonata provide a clear reminder that although Beethoven exhib- ing the first viewing was that something horited this ability to greatest effectinhislater,more rible was going to happen to Emily. I kept thinkpopular works (particularly those of the so-called ing of Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid "middle period'), this uncanny sense can be per- which also features a non-mortal falling in love ceived, in some measure, almost from the very . with and attempting to live with a mortal andunlike the Disney version- dying a horrible death beginning of Beethoven's career. Perhaps the most riveting moment in the after years of pain. Nothing like that happens in Corpse Bn"de. In fact, the ending is so beautiful, whole work is the transition in the .fust movement between the '1\.dagio" and ''Allegro and there is such a profound sense of rightness molto." Here, the awareness that "something : to it, that I burst into tears every time I see it. So do go see Corpse Bride. Please. If only so has to happen" is built up very gradually, and it is just as the tension approaches the breaking point · that I'll have new people with whom I can talk about it, and my roommate will no longer have that our expectations are finally fulfilled. Beethoven somehow manages to leave us feel- to spend time listening to me ramble about how ing one moment as if something must happen, much I love Emily. Really. You see, it's all about even if we do not knowwhatwe are expecting; the butterflies. I assure you, if you love butterflies, you'll love this movie. and at the next moment with the satisfied sense that what Beethoven did musically was the only : thing that could possibly have happened in that · instance. Tuesday's performance captured such moments quite memorably. . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY DATE DUE l r--- - - - - - St. John's College PO. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Sports Wire by Ara Guekguezian Staff Writer - Wednesday, October 26Druids v. GreenWaves GatretDrexlerhad obviously eaten his Wheaties: inaugurating the scoring with a rushing touchdown, then busting the filibustering on the ensuing kickoff with an interception returned all the way with JFK. Giovanni Smedley capped a "commnnity effort" on the Druids' third score of the quarter. Freakin' Sweet Aric Doak pulled a "hook and ladder'' to Ben Cromartie to put the Waves on the board James Myers hi-lited a crazy kick-offplay ending at the one yard line,afterwhich the Druids tried out the new goal-line rule, successfully. Rory Williams got an interception, threw to Steve Kloss for the touchdown, and missed the extra point, while PaulTI1omson responded with a hop, spin and a jump to Knott's Berry End-Zone. As the weather proceeded to get colder, it was time for some more fresh-baked twnovers, with footballs instead ofappballs: Rory and 'Rigl'y had interceptions, D ave Cantine a fumble reCOvei)~ and the game ended on a dubble-fubble trick play, which only served to hiten tl1e comic app-surdity. And on this week's Viking-vatch,Sven "Svensen" Crane converted to twopoint-ianity. Fear no more,ye monks of Lindisliune! 1" 2'><1 3fll 4~~> Final Druids 21 0 13 8 42 (8, 13,21,Foot-ball-nacci?) Waves 0 8 8 0 16 _j -Wednesclay, October <::6=Spartans v. Hustlers The "Dynamic Duo" of Jake Crabbs and Dan Russell produced two assists and two goals, respectively in the first half Dan got his hat trick out of tl1e gates in tl1e second. Hank "Shly Guy' almost got tl1e ''Blue Balls"' first/last goal, but Pat Sullivan ended up \vitll fuat honor. Senior analyst "C.F." reports, "Charlie Fleming spearheaded tile Hustlers' attack; he was pretty much fueir whole offense." 1" ~ Final 1 1 Spartans 0 1 Hustlers 2 3 Druids v. Guardians Druids: best record in soccer. Guardians: barely hangingon to fomth place. Druids: Six subs. Guardians: One man down tl1e whole way. And yet, iliis was tile closest gan1e tl1e Druids played, wiili a lone header by :tvfike Jones tl1e only score. 1" 2"d Final Druids 1 0 1 Guardians 0 0 0 Soccer Standings: Team W L T Pts. PF PA Druids 6 1 0 18 20 3 GreenWaves 4 1 1 15 20 13 Hustlers 3 4 0 13 7 12 Guardians 1 5 2 12 9 21 Spartans 5 1 10 12 19 (Actual Pts.- three for a win, two for a tie, one fora loss) Four outdoor gan1es remaining: Football: Guardians v: Spartans (iliis Wednesday) - Don't let tile record fool you; fue Spartans will give the defending champs all tl1ey can handle. (And yes, that 'd1ey' is ambiguous ...) Soccer: Hustlers v. Waves; Druids v. Spartans; and the big 'w1, Waves v. Druids - TI1e Waves need tllis game to have a prayer ofwinning it all. You Make tile Tiu:all (or, Freedom is a Privilege, not aRight). In these dangerous times we live in, we all know that certain rights \ve enjoy in calmer years must be given up for tile sake of seau:ity. Voicing one's opinion, even in gentle!11anly manner, undermines tile autl1ority of our leader, and tl1e ones to whom he delegates responsibility. However, tllere are many oilier treasonous acts aside from mere public "dissent''. Seditious speech, even in private, encourages many false notions, such as that we do not need a strong moral guide to help us discern right from wrong. and iliat we have tl1e maturity to settle our legal disputes according to guidelines previous agreed upon by all, ratl1er than by tile whims of a self-crowned philosopher king In fact, most troubles in tile world have tl1eir sources in written documents, ratified by tile people, that dearly establish tl1e law and provide h = e methods for discouraging infractions against it Thus, I believe that it is my duty as a member of an independent press to ask each and every one ofyou to report any and all malicious talk against our beloved athletic fueluer, and to quell any wrong-headed rubbish about setting up a common standard tl1at all collectively decide on and ilienceforth amend as needed. Thecaprice of one man (and his cronies) is good enough forme! You Make the Call: Athletes of the Week Mr. Kast 8 Miss Nighswander THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Last week's puzzler was first answered correctly by :tvlr. Hurst. Any player who expresses dissent, by word or action, witl1 a referee's call is cautioned with a yellow card for unsporting conduct. And now for this week's teaser: according to FIFA, after a stoppage of play, a drop ball is used to restart play. After the dropped ball touches the ground, the first player to touch the ball retains possession, dribbles in and scores. Legal goal? First one to me with the right call goes to the bookstore on me. You may leave your answer on my voicemail, x2558. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 8 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-11-01 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 8 of The Gadfly. Published November 1, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.8 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/c318d45458cc4e44e803e189ccea9bc8.pdf 4b83d824022037b5c95c9eb17ab5a98a PDF Text Text l ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY ./f THE l l l l l l l l l~ n~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~47 31696 01136 9087 ~GADFLY The St. John} College Student ll7eek_ly Volume XXVII, Issue 9 Annapolis, Maryland November 8, 2005 The Cure For Insomnia is a Good Night's Sleep Jennifer Wright Staff Writer andinterviews),itis by no means the substance of the film. Contrary to fhe elegant black aod \vhiteof fhe film's aesd1eric, fhe intelligent; dedicated characters of Murrow and Friendly spent their rime attempting to remind Americans that they live in a much more colorful world-a world where one's opinions do not condemn him, where dialogue and intellectual conversation are to be valued at the expense of dissenting political opinions. Also important is 1furrow~s very real concern wifh £he insulating effect ofa quickly degenerating, conscience-lessAmericanmOOia. In nearly prophetic terms, Murrow outlines his fears of a time when news programs pander to an audience craving entertainment; when media is self-censoring against the more shocking elemenU; of the real world beyond a our nation's borders. "Who among us can watch the news without a sense ofirony or deceit? Is it any surprise that Jon Stewatfs comedy news I often wish that I lived in a 40's film noir. I'd get to be exquisitely dressed, and terribly urbane, and live a life spiced with gin and vermouth. And, most importantly it's the only situation I can imagine where some sort of Humphrey Bogart-esque protagonist could grip me by the shoulders and say, "how can you sleep at night?" And, when he did, I would take a puff on my cigarette from my fabulously long cigarette holder and breathe a great cloud of smoke into Humphrey's face, before replying "I don't." It's true. I really don't. Or I don't the way I used to, or the way I ought to. Which is a pity, because I used to be so good at sleeping (it's an underrated talent.) Seriously. I know you probably think that_you're good at going to sleep at night, but I was a pro. I could have taken front nmning in the narco~ leptic Olympics. I could slip into sleep as easily as into a silk lined fur coat the moment my head hit the pillow. I could fall asleep sitting up, lying down, on trains, on planes, on boats, though never in moats. Though I suspect I might have been able to manage a moat, if Dr. Seuss were to insist upon it. I was great. I was amazing. You should have sem me sleep. No more. I don't know how I lost the knack, though sometimes, as I lie awake in the wee hours, I try to pinpoint the date the insomnia began. I\1y routine hasn't changed. Goodnight continued on page 5 Insomnia continued on page 5 Movie Review: Good Nigh0 and Good Luck by Tom Jacobs In Good Night, And Good l.Jick, another actor turned director takes a stab at articulating his world view, this time with a distinctly political angle. Ge01ge Oooney, whose best wo.rk was in Time Kings, is credited as writer/director/producer/smr ofthe film, aod, to be blun~ he's done a sharp, thoughtful job with each aspect of the film. The film details the brief time period doriog which TV journalist Edward R Murrow (played \vifh poise aod dignity by relative unknown David Sttathaim) aodhis producer Fred Friendly(Ooouey) decide to take a moral stance against SenatorJoseph }yfcCarthy and his one-man anticommunist witch hunt 1he film follows fhe alt!ck, McCarthy's parry and Murrow's subsequent repost, ending with the news fhat McCarthy is to beinvesrigatedhimse!Thy a Congressional Committee. \XIhile this is interesting and somewhat historicallyaccurnte(theyuserealMcCarthyheatingfoomge �THE 411rGADFLY Editors-in-Chief Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter sous Editors Mark McClay Aaron B. Roberts Photographers Clark Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to This Issue Briannc Bell Liz Curry Stacey Goh>uen Tom jacobs Ma.x Kronberg Leo Pickens Jennifer Wright Nic Zakheim Founded in 1980, the Gar!f/y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within arc the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not nccessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadf(y staff. The Gadf(y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. 1,etters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under ~pccial circumstances. Deadline: Saturday_ at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be ac<;epted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions arc grcady preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 Letters to the Editors Upcoming lecture on the Book rf Job Dear Polity, The focus of my upcoming lecture will be on the tradition in both the Christian and Jewish religion to interpret the Book of Job, in many instances by explicidy changing in translation the written words of the Book, so as to neutralize the explosive poetic core of the text and make the overall Book more palatable to normative religious convictions regarding the nature of God and man. Read in a manner more faithful to how it is actually written, the Book ofJob represents a chilling and unyielding view of the nature of divine justice and divine goodness (or the absence thereof). The Book presents a view of the relationship of God to man that is squarely at odds with normative religious authority and institutions both Christian and Jewish. Yet, at the same time, the Book of Job represents, in the Jewish religious tradition, the bedrock example of a type of "protest theology" which has been maintained as a distinct and important voice in Jewish theology and which demands renewed attention and consideration in a postholocaustworld. 1vfy personal background is that I was trained and have practiced as an attorney. I have a BA from Colgate University and aJD from Georgetown University Law Center I have done extensive research and writing on biblical topics related to the Hebrew Bible. J\tiy most recently published article dealt with interpretive problems in the Book of Job. I hope to see all of you at the lecture. Sincerely, ]. Jonathan Schraub DID YOU KNOW THAT AT ST. JOHN'S? ·Attendance used to be taken at lecture? ·We now have a minority recruitment officer? · Seven of the 2005 Annapolis Freshmen were early acceptance? ·The Crime Prevention Tactics pamphlet suggests using a shrill whistle to deter obscene phone callers? ·The Career Services Office will research information for you? · The average financial aid package covers about 64% of tuition expenses? ·The term "Don Rags" is taken from Oxford slang where Dons (teachers) rag on students? The SCI hosts Open Discussions at 11:45 every Thursday in the Private Dining Hall of Randall. Come talk about the program, your interests, questions, or complaints. Maybe you'll learn something you didn't know. Deftn.ite topic for discussion this week: Don Rags. -Stacey Goguen Sophomore Representative & Public Relations Student Committee on Instruction SJC Events: Friday, Nov.11: Lecture, "Job and the Jewish Tradition of Counter-Testimony" Professor J. Jonathan Schraub 8:15PM, FSKAuditorium Shuttles: Sunday, Nov. 13: Shopping Shuttle to Arundel l\!ills Mall. Departs gym lot at 11 M1. First come, first seated. Saturday, Nov. 19: Chinatown Shuttle departs gym lot at 10 Al\1. First come, first seated. LocalEvents: Tuesday, November 8: The Helicon Opera. 7:30PM, U.S. Naval Academy Alumni Hall. Ticket prices TBA, 410-293-TIXS or www.tickets.com. Friday-Monday, November11-14: yd Annual Annapolis Fihn Festival 1\iaryland Hall for the Creative Arts and Crown Theatres Fri., 7:00-midnight; Sat.-Sun., 1:00-9:00 p.m.; Mon., 7:00-9:00 p.m. Showcases features, shorts, docrnnentary, and animation films produced locally and from aronnd the world. Call 410-263-2388 or visit www.annapolisftlmfestival.com . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �The year was 2021,inEarth Years, and Space Dragon was sad. Having just finished his final lollipop, he reached for the Robitussin. Not because he wanted the awesome high, but because he wanted the delicious artificial grape flavor. 1his did not, however, make him any happier. Non-Racist Julio, his sidekick, a hard-drinking, hard-smoking monk who had raised both himself and Space Dragon on the hard streets of Trion seven, the capital of Zebulon four, which was precisely one trillion light years from Earth, ever since the untimely death of Space Dragon's mother, Ba-donk-a-donk, named for her buttocks, which were large, even for a dragon, was out of the house. Space Dragon was waiting for Non-Racist Julio's return with baited breath. literally. As a Dragon, his breath was constantly baited with fire, as for a trap or what have you. Space Dragon was going to ask Non-Racist Julio who his father was, as hehadrecenrlyrealized that NonRacist Julio, not being a dragon, could not have been his father. Or could he? No, he could not. Non-Racist Julio was a monk, and had taken an oath of celibacy. Space Dragon knew that there was an old male dragon on the other side of town, and that he was the only other dragon on the planet, but failed to make an important connection. When Non-Racist Julio returned, Space Dragon leapt across the room, and cried, "W'ho is my father?" Non-Racist Julio cried, "Holy Jesus, a dragon!" He was dnmk. He soon recalled that he had raised this dragon on the hard streets of Trion six, scrimping and saving for each bottle of whisky. Shaking, he burst into tears. Space Dragon held Non-RacistJulio until the river of his tears was evaporated by the flames of Space Dragon's breath, and his shakes returned to their normal level. Non-Racist Julio, unfortunately, received severe third-degree bums. Non Racist Julio lit a cigarette, and told Space Dragon the horrible truth. He said, "I'm not your father, and your mother never mentioned him to me. All I know is that every time I asked about him, she told me not to talk to the old male dragon at the other side of town. She said he wouldn't know, and that he was mean." "OK," said Space Dragon, ''I will go into space to find my father." Non-Racist Julio uttered a vile curse word that sounded mostly, but not entirely, like Phuket, one of the southern provinces ofThailand, as he commonly did. "Could I at least finish my cigarette?" 'You can finish your cigarette in space.'' ''No, I can't. I won't be able to smoke in space, because there is no air, Drego!" (Drego is, of course, an extremely offensive derogatory term for "Dragon," but don't worry: Non-RacistJulio was uslngitin a semi-friendly manner.) "But how will I be able to breathe fire in space," Space Dragon asked. ''You won't." "But what if we are attacked by Space Knights?" ''\Ve won't be.'' "Okay, Non-Racist Julio, I will trust your greater knowledge of rl1e universe. To space!" Non-RacistJulio scaled Space Dragon's scaly back and held on tight to Space Dragon's ears. Space Dragon did a handstand, exhaled scorchingly hot fire at his utmost capacity toward d1e ground, and launched his body like a sky rocket m flight. As they were plururneting upwards throug~ ~1e ionosphere, Non-Racist Julio sang ~e tra~t1onal space dragon liftoff song. It's an mteresttng commentary on the local civilization that there existed a traditional space dragon liftoff song, as there had only been duee dragons ever: Space Dragon, his dead mother, and his father, the old male dragon on the other side of town who he was now leaving behind. ' Here's another interesting fact. Non-Racist Julio's traditional space dragon liftoff song was nearly identical in lyric, meter, rl1yme and melodv to a song from Ancient Earth: Afternoon D;light by The Starlight Vocal Band. However no one from one planet had ever visited any~ne from the other. Many have speculated that the ~rigin of ~s coincidence is rooted in the objective, magruficent beauty of the song, and it has been posited that they both originate from the song sung by God to create the world. Julio sang: Gonna find"!)' dragon, gp11na hold him tight Gmma grab some outer space delight. .i\1y motto} alwqys been; when itS rig/;t, ignite! IV-?,y wait until a rocket ship appears in sight, IVhen everything} a little dearer in tbe void qJ spat'IJ, Does the College need an open dialogue on race? Space Dragon in flight! Outer-space delight. Outerspace delight. Next week on THE FUTURISTIC ADVENTURES OF SPACE DRAGON AND HIS FRIENDLY SIDEKICK NON-RACIST JUllO: What will Space Dragon and his sidekick, Non-Racist Julio, do when they immediately run into Space Knights? What's the deal with Non-RacistJulio's name? Is that his name? Is he explicitly non-racist? If so, does that mean Space Dragon is explicitly racist? Does the College need an open dialogue on race? Also: NonRacist Julio will finally explain the ancient myth of Jenny Lowe's dream! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Staff Profile: I<enny Whiteside by Mark McClay Staff Writer Kenny Whiteside is on the St. JohnS College Building and Grounds staff. The Gadfly sat doJPn JPitb Mr. lf7hiteside for an interview last Fridqy, just before the beginning of Parents' Weekend. MM: Could you tell us about your background? To begin with, where are you from? KW: I was born here in Annapolis in '54. I was born on Calvert Street, across from the city jail before they moved it out to Jennifer Road- that used to be the Detention Center. And I went through the high school and public schools in Annapolis, and basically I've been living in the same area all my life. You know on Calvert Street, off of Calvert Street? I've been in the same area all my life. I bought a house seven years ago on West Washington Street. And I'm single - that's good, man. (laughs) And you know, my basic thing is that I just like to work. IVIJVI: How long have you been working here at St. John's? KW: I'd say it's been a little over two years. And it's a nice campus - friendly atmosphere, everybody getting along. J\1M: Didn't you work at the Naval Academy before you came here? What was that like? KW: The difference is, from here to the Naval Academy, the difference is military. The Naval Academy is more military. (laughs) You know, you come over to St. John's and it's a more laid back atmosphere. I was right across the street on College Avenue, at the Alumni Association. And I did a lot of things for them, like bartend, cocktail, cutting the grass, cleaning up- things of that nature. You know, I'm just that type of person: I like to work, I get along with everybody. MM: What sort of things can the students here do to make your job easier? Do you have anything you would like to tell them? 4 KW: When we come through the buildings and clean up, they should try to keep the general area clean. You know, don't throw trash on the floor, don't write on the wall, don't put holes in the wall, don't smoke in your room, and all that. But I'm going to say this: the majority of the students do take care of their buildings and stuff like that. So they look out for us, like we look out for them. I mean, once you get to know them, and once they get to know you, and feel comfortable with you, we don't have a problem. No problem whatsoever- we can go in the dorms, and we've got no problem with that. If they've got no problem seeing us, we have no problem seeing them. And if they need anything, all they have to do is ask. IviM: Do you have any other jobs? K\V: I have two jobs. I work for the Stanton Community Center on West Street, where we have a couple of students who come over there to tutor the kids. I work there from 5 to 9 every Monday through Friday, and -I had a brother who used to work over here at St. John's, too. He was very popular with the kids. He was very popular with the president, too. MM: Do you have any hobbies? KW: Oh, man! I play Playstation 2 games -love them, love them! So as far as hobbies, I've got Playstation 2, I play ball, I go to clubs- I like jazz; I go to the Ram's Head, that's about the only place I . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . go to. And I go to my local church every Sunday. And that's about it; I mean, once you get up in age, there aren't too many hobbies you have left, really. (!augbs) Just trying to survive, just trying to survive -that's the whole nine yards. M1vi: What sort of things are you doing right now? KW: Well, after I'm finished with this, we have to go upstairs and get all the classes together. Then we've got all these chairs- see, we've got 240 chairs, we've got 60 of them we've got to take up to the third floor. The elevator only goes one floor! You put that in your article- they need to get the elevator to go all the way up! (laughs) All the buildings should have elevators - I mean, when you see us taking the buffing machine all the way up to the third floor in Pinkney J\1M: Well, just because we print it doesn't mean it's going to happen. KW: Yeah, yeah, okay. (laugbs) Sign up for Thanksgiving BreakBWI Shutdes in the blue binder in the Asst. Dean's Office. Space is limited, reservations required. �Insomnia continued from front page I go to bed every night at 11:45, read for half an hour- which means that I ought to get my eight hours - do the little routine with my contact lenses, put on my sleep mask, turn out the light, close my eyes and then? And then, Socrates. My thoughts quite often turn to Socrates or Jesus, or whatever other figure has lately been dying on my behalf. I think about how I am not Socrates. I think about howT.S. Eliot wasn't Socrates, and according to "Prufrock", he wasn't even Hamlet, back from the dead. I'm not Hamlet. I'm not even T.S. Eliot. Hell, even T.S. Eliot was rarely T.S. Eliot, and people spent a lot of time making fun of him for pretending to have an English accent. Poor T.S. Eliot. I'll feel horrible on Eliot's behalf. I'll end up thinking about how I'm not sleeping and by morning, will probably look more decrepit than Eliot, and thus will no longer be able to trade on my good looks, which are terribly important, what with my not being Socrates, or Jesus or Hamlet. This way lies galloping melancholia. It's usually around this period when I begin mucking about with remembrances ofBritish authors past. After ten minutes or so, I'll be reciting Songs ofinnocenfe and Experience in my head, and then I'll be no use to anybody. Thus, I spend a while determined not to think. But insomnia is a rotten tapeworm of a creature. It can nourish itself on any thought at all, including thoughts about not thinking. I try rolling over on my left side, which is supposed to have a calming effect. This never works. Ever. So then, I count sheep. This invariably strikes me as being absurd. And after all that, I get up, and I write articles like the one I am writing now (it is, by my clock, 3:14 in the morning). "But who's counting the sheep?" you ask. I've decided to let them count themselves if they're so damn crazy for mathematics. It will give them something useful to do. Often, when I'm not writing articles I pen lengthy e-mails to friends and acquaintances. And- and this is the part I love best -they all reply. Almost immediately, or within a half hour span. I find this a comforting thought, little apartments all over Annapolis with the lights blazing while students sit huddled in their robes at three in the morning composing e-mails. There are moments when I cannot help but adore us. We're a sleepless race, we Johnnies. But that the Trojans had had us on their side, Aeneas might never have had to set his course for Rome. I've never heard a Johnnie talk about how well they sleep. l'vlaybe because it would not bear mentioning, as, in some Tolstoy-esque way, all good sleepers are alike, while all insomniacs are insomniacs in their own way. I actually feel kind of blessed in my insomnia insofar as I can generally get to sleep by two or three and then sleep perfectly soundly until whatever time I have to get up, whereas someone else I know wakes up reliably at three o'clock every morning and is unable to get back to sleep. Someone else has starting sleeping in the afternoons, from the end of their classes until four or so. Another person has simply rearranged his sleep schedule entirely so that he only rests in various two hour periods over the course of the day. The very thought of this makes me jittery and nervous. They assure me that it's not so bad, and it means you can see the sun rise. I firmly believe that if you're seeing the sunrise, and you're not sipping a mimosa on an international flight somewhere, then your internal time clock may have gone kabloowie. Given that everyone is so sleepless, I thought I might try collecting tips. They're too numerous to record here, and if you have any troubles sleeping you've probably tried most of them: don't think (ineffective), count sheep (irritating), don't read before you go to bed (impossible- once in a bizarre case where I was without reading materials I read the back of my toothpaste tube over and over before trying to sleep). By far the most frightening idea I've heard was to envision that it was morning, and that you had to get up. This idea inspired nothing in me but a dither of panic that it was going to be morning soon, and I was going to have to get up, but apparently it works for some people. The only thing that actually worked for me- and worked darn well - was a sleeping aid called "Simply Sleep." It's brilliant, it's made by the Tylenol people and it does put you to sleep for a full night without making you groggy in the morning. You can buy it at CVS. But then- alas and alack!- after discovering the no fail cure for my sleepless nights, I realized that I kind of missed my sleepless nights. I missed the clarity and the in- tensity of feeling that you only get at a quarter past three. Sometimes the thoughts you can have while the rest of the world is asleep are so agreeable and so worthy of consideration that it seems quite pusillanimous to sleep through them. I know it's the last refuge of the insomniac to assume a sense of superiority in fortitude to the waking world, but perhaps it's possible that those bad nights are not so bad after all. It bears consideration whether it's better to sleep through them or else remain fitfully awake. But you don't necessarily have to go that route; it's not even the best route, forcertain. Whatever you choose to do (and perhaps this is not even a problem that concerns you, you lucky soul, you) I will bid you goodnight. And good luck. Goodnight continued from front page program The Daily Show is the most popular news avenue for people our age? That show pretends to no substantive journalistic insight; indeed, their "news" consists merely of juxtaposing the images and sounds of our nation's hypocrisy and banality in every level of the government and media. We connect the dots ourselves, already flush with our almost innate sense of irony. Refreshing and surprising is the film's distance from any kind of partisanship. Murrow and Friendly aren't fighting against "conservatives" or ''Republicans;" nor does the film include such terms in their currendy divisive connotations. Murrow's war is with the illegitimacy of McCarthy's tactics rather than the beliefs that may have fueled his almost private vendetta.1viurrow is an advocate for the principles of our Constitution and faith in the American legal system. To overstep their boundaries, the film asserts, is to embrace the mechanisms of tyranny. The aesthetics of the film are matl)~ Clooney returns to an old-fashioned palate ofcolor and film techniques. The black and white picture is sexy and evocative. Clooney's use of crooned swing ballads over otherwise silent scenes is subde and meaningful. Theperformancesareinvariablytightandterse and nuanced, drawing us into the tensions of a dialogue-oriented action. I challenge you to see this film (playing at the Annapolis Harbor Center). With the right attitude it is thought provoking and intelligent. To approach it otherwise is to insulate yourselffrom a chance for introspection of your political vnlues qua man and American. I especially encourageJuniors to see it, in light of their anticipated studies. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �5 acrament of the Last 5 upper Poses Questions by Brianne Bell Hung up around campus are posters of Dali's Satrame!lt of the Last Supper, painted in 1955. I hope that all of you will take the time to study and meditate on the piece. Here are some questions to ask that may help you look both outward at the many aspects and layers of the painting as well as inward to where the meaning can be found. We quickly observe the twelve men symmetrically set around one calm central figure serving wine and bread. This is obYiously a last supper scene. But there are manywaysrn tion, each expressing "Not I!" in hls own way. IF.?Jr are thf!y so .wmber here? Christ himself casts no shadow. He is luminescent. He is also not as heavily clad as the other men. IVI._ry does he diffor in these wqys? The bread is split in two and is across the table from Jesus. It looks to me as if there is an open position at the table, maybe one for us. with his left. W~ does Chn'st do this and what is fV'lzy are the bread and wine positioned as thry are? his relationship to the hoveringfigure? The "window" in the background is a golden pentagon within a hexagon. fl7/zy these shapes, what are thry doing in this pkture, and wlzy do tbry become tra11sparent? There are three boats in the background of the painting. I am going to guess that they are fishing boats. lf/0' has Da!i included them a11d JV/zy do we see one Lastly, doesn't Chn'st have a beard? In very early Christian w o r k s Christ was shown without a beard, but s 1 n c e arouud 200 AD, Christ has always b e e n shown bearded. last supper departs from more classical versions. Where are John and Judas? Tradi~ 6 Christ, rigbt in the middle of the pai11ting W0' which this tionally John is painted as a youth, if not effemi~ nately* and is seated next to his beloved master. Judas is often shown as the only person on the opposite side of the table, or as holding a bag of money. Sometimes he is dipping his bread with Jesus as a fulfillment of Christ's words, other times he will simply be clad in darker clothes, seated off in the shadows. In this painting tbere is 110 obvious John orJudas. lf70'? There is a man second to Christ's left who is either clad in yellow or is made to look so by the sun light. Who iJ he and wlzy does he stand out? Another departure from the classical representation of the disciples is their stance. Each reverently bows his head, is ahnost completely covered by their heavy robes, and casts a grave shadow. In Da Vinci's LastSupper, Christ has just asked which of them will betray him. The disciples are presented in a lively commo- of them through IPhy does Da!i choose to break with this CO!JVen- What is the source of the light in this painting? To think about this question a quick look at the painting's composition is worthwhile. Christ's head is the focal point of the converging per~ spective lines. The lines created by the shadows share the same perspective point; therefore we might conclude that it is Christ Himself who is d1elight source. lf7ry would Dali do this? Christ's head is also located in the exact middle of the painting, while positions of the apostles' heads create two lines shaped like the upper part of a triangle whose vertex is Christ's head. JP/y does Da!i put this much compositional empbasis on Christ's head? The shape made by the apostles is echoed in the chest and spread arms floating above the supper. Jesus, it seems, is pointing at the figure with his right hand, while he points to himself . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . tion? I don't believe this painting is currently on display in D.C. However, it does belong to the N GA, and when it does go back up, I encourage all of you to go look at it there, rather than in poster form on campus. I promise many more questions and answers will pop into your head. *I'm sorry but I must have a short rant. John is almost ALWAYS portrayed effeminately- to show youth. The entire artist community of the past 1800 years is not in cahoots trying to covertly tell us something about Jesus' relationship with JV!ary Magdalene. Whatever their relationship was, Da Vinci, and al~ most every other artist to paint the last supper, was using a symbolic convention. So there, Dan Brown. �Where to go for the best ... popular hangout, and its food by Nik Zakheim Mauycentutiesago, there was a brothelou West St::reetwheremen used to flock to enjoy its assorted delights, especially those of one particular wench, who was known for her boundless energy and en- thusiasm. One night; though, she met her match, aud after several hours of creaking aud squeaking If you are not of drinking age, you can still go over and hang out, and order food, you just can't have any of the free food, and you can't come in after ten. I'll admit, it is a much more 21 +place to be, but I did noticed this past Fridsy dmt a few freshman girls seemed to have talked their parents into reserving a private room for dinner. During theweekend,Ramsheadispackedwithlatgepenp!e, wiches and steak, but it also has a couple ofirregular items such as seaweed salad, baked brie and:i\foroccan salmon. I'm not hesitant to try new things, but I like to stick with what a restaurant seems good at, so I won't order cheese pizza from a Japanese restaurant, and I won't order Japanese or Moroccan food from a bar menu Twenty or thirty minutes after ordering and 3 cups ofwater later, four ofour upstairs, there was a loud crack and the wench, her men sporting baseball caps and women with belly five entrees came out, and ofcourse mine was cold. patron, and their ttusty bed came down through the ceiling, through the first floor and down into rl1e oellar, where all three were found in pieces. The brothel was closed fora while, and undenventmany changes throughout the years. Finally in 1989, the brothel was reopened as tavern and brewing company, where Johnnies and Johnny tutors have goue throughout shirts they shouldn't beweariug Occasionally you'll even mn into a drunken wedding party, complete with drunken bride in awhite gown, aud a drunken groom who forgets which one of the women in the party he just got married to. I guess it's natural that reserving a room for a private party necessitates better service, but the interesting thing is how bad a good server can be when the outdoor seating is packed. My co-worker Kyle sat down at a Ramshead outdoor table at 4:30 P:lVI Poor Marcus Mar, he didn't get his burger for another twenty minutes, cftetwe finally got our waiter's attention. Personally, I don't think that toast or French fries taste good after being microwaved, d1e years to nnwind after seminar or a long week of academic challenges. Whafs so special about Ramshead Tavern aud Fordham Brewing Company? Nothing in particular, but its one of the most popular places in Annapolis, so it's worth looking at in more depth. If you are a starving student, like rnany of us are (either due to monetruy constraints, or dining hall malnu- trition), Ramshead has the most well-liked happy hour, featutiug $2 drafts and free food, especially Fridsy's wing-night Ramshead also features the signatureRamshead grauler, a glass jug filled with beer for $20, and ifyou keep it and clean it, you can getit refilled when you briug it back in for only $8. which was the solution to my $8 cold portabella mushroom sandwich. In myworld,I always think good servers should take responsibility for their customcr'S' satisfaction, andeam their tip. But it seems Jikeyoureally have to make a stink sometimes to make them take respon- and didn't get her first beer ordered nntil almost sibility. A friend's side salad had some of the limp- five because her first server was too busy flirting est iceberg lettuce and alfalfa I had ever seen. Next, I with the table next to her, apartyofmade-up older women. I joined her, and the first party I joined (of co-workersmosrly)gottogetheratabout5:15. All was well, although the service was a htde slow consideringthatthe barwasjam-packedeverywhere except in the cellar, which is always stuffY and a little dsmp. Atabout6:45I was joined byamodeycrew ofJohnnies for dinner. futllld a shard of glass in my glass of water, and didn't even receive an apology. 1llen poor 1\.farcus Ramshead's menu is mosdy dedicated to bar cuisine, such as potato skins, onion rings, sand- still had to pay full price for the meal he only got to eat after we had all finished. Whom do you blame? Is it worth the effort? I would just like to give you all a heads-up, that you will get mediocre service aud ordinary quality food for themostpartwhen you go to Ramshead, and in my opinion, you'd be better off just sticking to drinkingifyoucau. SCI Minutes Novernber3,2005 Members present BeaD, Wllford, Curry, Goguen, Utter,Hurst;Eikins. AlsopresentwereSophomores Ms. Enns, Mr. Closs and :Nlr. Shields. The primaryobjectiveofthemeetiugwas an open discussion on the topic oflecture. Ms. Beall began with asking what criteria students use to decide whetherornottheyattendlecture. Various members of the committee observed that there seem to be a few general attitudes towan:ls lecture attendance. Some students attend evety lecture regardless oftheir prior knowledge or interest in the subject matter. Others tend to shy away from the lectures thatcoucern books and concepts they havenotyethad a chance to read and discuss in class. Still others simply pt~fer to spend rl1eir Friday nights engaged in other activities. Other factors mentioned included work scheduling con- flicts and degree of futigue at the end of the school week. While perhaps piquing the curiosity of some, the often vague tides of the lectures as they stand seem to discourage rather than encourage the majority of students from attending The committee agreed that having more information about the this and the other questions concern1nglectureneed to be further addressed The class representatives were asked to conduct a brief survey on 10-20 of their classmates about their attitudes towan:ls lec- ture. This information will be collected and forwarded totheDean Therepresentativesarefi:eetomakeup their own questions. lecture more readily available (even, pethaps,in the Before breaking for class, the committee briefly form of an outline ofthe argument that would be discussed the student-tutorpoduckand decided that available earlier in the week) would help generate because ofthe plethora ofevents of dlls nature that more interest among the student body, as would putpose oflecture actually is. It appears to provide, in addition to the benefititprovides the students, a -way in which StJohn's reaches out to the commu- are aheady set to take place this fall and the poor timing of the weekend of November 19, the fall potluck will not beheld this year. The agends for next week's meeting (11:45, Private Dining Room) will be another open discussion, this time on Don Rags. All members of the nity ofAnnapolis and beyond Do these two pur- polity are invited to attend Gadfly articles 'previewing' the lecture. The question was also raised about what the poses ever come into conflict? It was agreed that . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �DATE DUE THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 I<UNAI SPORTS (and I mean really close-call, as in picked up on the line or they hit the goal post), each team would have had at least four goals apiece. As for the standings, clearly, d1e Golden Lyres dominated this season. They had d1e most wins, most tean1 goals, the most individual tean1 goals, greatestnumberofplayers to score, and most goals per scoring player. The two highest scorers for the season were Lola Price and Emma Plaut (8 goals eacl1-guess whim team they both were on). He~.eis d1e season's final standing Due to smaller number of players who came out in d1e last two weeks, teams did not play against one another an ual number of tin1es. by Stacey Goguen TheKunai's full soccer season has ended Hereis a quick recap of the last three games: Tuesday (Oct. 25) Gold-Green v. Maroon-Blue, 3-0. Friday (Oct. 28) Gold-Blue v. Maroon-Green, 2- 0. Tuesday (Nov. 01) Gold-Green v. Maroon-Blue, 1-0. The Smith-McDowell Cup, played on Saturday (Nov. OS) was fun all around, and won by :Nfr. P's team (Red) against the Seniors' team (Black), 3-0. However, ifall the close-call shots had been made You Make the Call: Last week's puzzler was first answered correedy by Mr. Rieder. A dropped ball is in play the moment it touches the ground, so, in our example, it is a legal goal And now for d1is week's teaser. A defensive back passes the ball, with his foot, back tohisowngoalkeeper. The goalkeeper, within his own goalie box, handles the ball What is the call? Where is d1e ball spotted? Ftrst one to me with the right call goes to the bookstore on me. You mayleave your response on my voioemail, x2558. INDIV. TEAM WINS LOSSES TIES TEAM GOALS IND. GOALS R- FRUIT SNACKS 6 8 1 24 9 Y- GOLDEN LYRES 12 2 1 38 25 G- JOLLY GREEN GIANTS 8 6 1 26 9 B- BLUE DANGERS 2 12 1 18 6 TEAM Maroon #Scoring Players 4 Yellow 7 Green Blue Mean #Goals/Player 2.25 3.6 2.25 1.2 4 5 Total Maroon Gold Green 3.3 Avg. Goals/Game 0.6 1.7 0.6 Median #G/P 1.5 2 2 1 Blue 0.4 Tues. 3.5 Mode #G/P 1 1 1 1 Fri. 3.4 Sept. 4.5 Oct. 2.75 Athletes of the Week The Guardians 8 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Miss Walsh Nov. 2.0 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 9 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-11-08 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 9 of The Gadfly. Published November 8, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.9 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/d2f0fe7e5b8035ecbbe2280eef0f8769.pdf a83b7a358ee0ec7969dab1af88b318f5 PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY ~~ l l l l l l l l lij~nm~' '~~~ ~]mlllll l l l l ~ h ( s THE 3 1696 01136 9384 ~GADFLY The St. John} College Student JVeek,& Volume XXVII, Issue 10 Annapolis , Maryland November 16, 2005 Lecture Review: ''Job and the Jewish Tradition of CounterTestimony'' by John Schuler ing very broadly. At a later reception for the medalists at Washington's Metropolitan Club, NEH chairman Bruce Cole spoke to representatives of the NEH and NEA, applauding Miss Brann "for a lifetime spent exploring great ideas with her students at St. John's College and with her readers, guiding young people toward the good and examined life." As the students in Miss Brann's freshman seminar are well aware, dinner and festivities at the White House on T hursday evening caused her (for the first time in the recent memory of anyone at the college) to miss her seminar. Indeed, one White Hou se official remarked it had taken some persuading to get Miss Brann to agree to stay for the dinner and entertainment at th e expense of he r seminar; :tvlr. ]. Jonathan Schraub's lecture delivered a thought-provoking and disturbing look into the complexities of meaning in the Book of Job. He offers a bold new interpretation that challenges millennia of accepted orthodox theology. "Protest theology" is theology that challenges the accepted beliefs about the nature of God. According to Mr. Schraub, this theological strain h as existed alongside with more conventional or orthodox theology for thousands of years. Protest theology finds its way into the holy texts as counter-testimony. Mr. Schraub states that counter-theology does not have "second-class status in the Bible." Contrary to prevailing beliefs that God is the pinnacle of all that is good, the God of the Hebrew Bible is a "complete totality of opposites." This implies that God is good and just and all things conventional religious beliefs hold him to be. However, he is not always or exclusively these things. The reasons for the adoption of the completely (rather than ambiguously) good God are primarily historical. When the Jewish Diaspora began, the priestly class disappeared and was succeeded by the rabbinical class. The Jewish religion was adapted to the needs of a wandering, persecuted people. Suffering in life Eva Brann continued on Pg. 3 Job continued on pg. 6 Eva Brann Awarded National Humanities Medal President Bush Calls St. Johns ua national treasure" by Mark McClay Co-Editor Last Thursday, Miss Eva Brann - well known at St. John's as an author, longtime tutor and former dean -was awarded a National Humanities Medal by President George W. Bush. The m edals were presented by th e President in the White House's Oval Office on Thusday morning. In the ceremon y, President Bush praised Miss Brann and St. John's as "a na tiona! treasure." "When the president called St. John's 'a national treasure,' my heart just expanded," Miss Brann said afterward, smil- �THE ~·GADFLY The Editors' Page Lecture Preview for Fridqy, November 18 SJC Events Editors-in-Chief Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Co-Editors Mark McClay Aaron B. Roberts Photographers Clarke Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Aaron Brager Ara Guekbruczian Max Kronberg Mark F. McClay DanRera John Schuler Jennifer Wright NicZakheim Friday, Nov. 18: Lecture - "Rising to the Surface: A Reading of a Mozart Piano Sonata" Ms. WyeA!lanbrook FSKAuditorium 8:15PM Saturday, Nov. 19: Cool Hand Luke SJC Film Society FSKAuditorium 7:30PM Local Events Founded in 1980, the Gadf(y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Pe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the wle responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadffy staff. The Gadf(y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punchlation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadffy is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sahlrday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, &:;kettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. Thursday,Nov.17: Downtown Annapolis Tavern Traipse 7:00-9:00 p.m. Relive the colonial tavern experience of music, merriment, and good cheer as you visit the sites of 18th-century taverns. Tour begins at William Paca House, 186 Prince George Street. Call410-267-8146 or visit www.annapolis.org. Ms. Wye Jamison (Wendy) Allanbrook, former St. John's tutor, now Professor of Music at the University of California at Berkeley, offers the following preview of her lecture, "Rising to the Surface: A Reading of a Mozart Piano Sonata": The metaphor of depfh (profundity) is a quality we have come to impute almost automatically to anything we admire, be it a philosophical discourse or a work of art. This is true in the analysis of music as well as in other domains. But does this metaphor always provide us with a full and appropriate account of a piece of music? Can we imagine some other perspective for our analysis? I will examine some movements of 1v!ozart's and Haydn's piano sonatas, in particular the Sonata inA Major, K. 331, in order to see what happens when we attempt to "rise to the surface." Friday, Nov. 18- Sunday, Jan. 1: Lights on the Bay Sandy Point State Park 5:00-10:00p.m. More than 60 stationary and animated displays illuminate a two-mile drive along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay during this 11th annual event sponsored by the Anne Arundel Medical Center. Call443-481-3161 or visit www.aahs.org. Your Vote Counts! Well, not for something important, but at least for the Fall 2005 'Ary' Awards. Support whomever you thought was the best player in each category. Send your entries in person, through Campus Ivlail to Ara Guekguezian, or by the ever-popular brick-through-windowwith-vote-attached method. Here are the categories: Football: Back (quarter, half, or full) Receiver Defense (any position) Soccer: Offense Defense Goaltender Overall: Most Valuable Player Most Virtuous Player Biggest Field Presence Biggest Drama Queen Vote ear/y and often! 2 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Eva Brann continued from front page. the fact that I\1iss Brann did not want to miss that time with her students, the official said, was only another indication that "she really is the kind of person we think she is." As it happened, lvfiss Brann attended events in Washington throughout the day Thusday, escorted by St. John's president Christopher Nelson. As most Gadjfy readers know, I\.fiss Brann has been a tutor at St. John's since 1957, and is the longest-serving current faculty member at the college; she also served as dean from 1990-1997. In addition to being well known and loved by her students and colleagues at St. John's, she is the author of numerous books, including The Music of the Republic: Essays on Socrates' Conversations mtd Plato's Writings (2004), Homeric Moments: Clues to Delight in Reading the Odyssey and the Iliad (2002), The Ways of Naysaying: No, Not, Nothing, atid Nonbeing (2001), The World of the Imagination (1992), and most recently, Open Secrets/ Inward Prosputs: Reflections on JPorld and Soul (2004). The Humanities I\.fedals have been awarded since 1989 by the President, in consultation with the National Endowment for the Humanities. Twelve medals are presented each year to Americans "whose work has deepened the nation's understanding of the humanities, broadened citizens' engagement with the humanities, or helped preserve and expand America's access to important humanities resources." Some famous past medalists include authors Tom Wolfe, 1vfadeleine L'Engle, John Updike, and Garrison Keillor; political scientist Harvey J\lfansfield; deep sea explorer Robert Ballard; historians Elizabeth Fox-Genovese, Stephen Ambrose, and Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.; and film director Steven Spielberg. In addition to Miss Brann, some of the other recipients of the 2005 Humanities :Medals included historian and political scientist Walter Berns; CoL Matthew Bogdanos of the US I\.farine Corps, who directed the recovery of some 5,000 stolen artifacts at the National I\1useum of Iraq; legal theorist :Mary Ann Glendon; author and syndicated columnist Judith I\1artin (better known to most readers as "Miss I\-'fanners"); and the Papers of George Washington Project, an archival project to publish the collected papers of our first president. Spreading Democracy Like Margarine by Dan Rera Staff Writer "The government of Syria must stop exporting violence and start importing democracy."- President Bush; November 11, 2005. This bold declaration was made on Veteran's Day. I think some context must be provided first. TI1e statement was accompanied by attacks made toward his critics. The president was politicizing what should have been an apolitical event, but tllls could have been expected from just about any politician. His speech was filled with fiery defensive rhetoric designed to combat: his falling approval ratings (reaching an all-time low recently of 36%), his appearance as untrustworthy (more than 60% of the US population now questions his administration's ethics), and therenewed vigor, in light of these facts, with which the democrats are attacking the previously tmchallenged supreme authority of the \\lhite House. As I heard these particular words uttered, I wondered why they were phrased in the language of commerce. I know Bush is supposed to be a "CEO President," but the language still sounds striking. Are violence and democracy commodities? How much is each worth? If Syria is successfully exporting violence, does that mean there is a demand for it internationally? Likewise, if they are not importing democracy, does that mean that they don't want it? If not, and there is a demand for democracy in Syria, would it be profitable to be a democratic bootlegger there? These questions are ridiculous. But that is only because the original statement was ridiculous. I tis possible to have such an active imagination that you could conceive of violence as exportable. Take the United States' recent military action abroad. Before the Iraq war, very few Iraqi civilians died from foreign military interference. Now, about 27,000 Iraqi civilians have been killed since 2003. One could think of the United States as having "exported violence" to Iraq, insofar as through US intervention there are more violent deaths there than before. So fine, I guess we can think of violence as something exportable. But what about democracy? ''We need to spread democracy... Democracy is on the march ... We ought to be exporting democratic values ... " All tllls metaphorical speech waters down questions very essential to the issue. \What is most conducive for democratic government? \Vhy is democracy desirable? Can one nation "give" democracy to another? If so, how? Tills whole issue is very complicated, and if the current administration has answers to these questions, they don't seem willing to discuss them with the people whom they represent. Does it seem strange to anyone else that the United States has been bringing democracy to foreign nations by means of military actions? Or isn't it odd that, while the motivation for the conflict in Afghanistan was capturing Osama Bin Laden, and the reason for invading Iraq was to uncover weapons of mass destruction, neither of these goals was accomplished? The administration seemed to push for democracy as an afterthought. Sort of a "whoops, we didn't accomplish what we set out to do, but so. long as we are here and the nation's political structure is in shambles, how about some democracy?" There is no excuse for this. Perhaps an analogy might help to see why. Imagine that an employee for a construction company is hired to fix a cracked foundation of a house. Now imagine that he fails to do so and instead builds a barn. Would you pay this person, or hire him again? Hopefully not. Maybe this administration knew the whole time that they were going to establish a democracy. Furthermore, maybe the administration is so intelligent that they knew the people in America wouldn't have supported war for the sake of international democratic reform, but that it was in the best interests of the US to promote democracy abroad. rvfaybe they couldn't tell us; we wouldn't have understood. I\1aybe it was a noble lie. Wouldn't that be strange, leaders lying to the people of a democratic state for the purposes of establishing democracy; violating the very principle being sought? :rvroreover, the administration's thinking is probably that forming democracies overseas will make the world a less violent place, at least this seems to Democracy continued on pg. 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY 3 �Jen-Sais-Quoi: Be Like Bob by Jennifer Wright Staff Writer erages of your choosing and snorted cocaine off the bellies of attractive strangers and done whatever other decadent things I've heard that there are a number of students at St. John's who have taken to living as homeless people. Now this isn't my personal bag, baby, but it seems to work for them, and presumably you can at least panhandle in Ancient Greek. I suppose I could make a big speech about how this marginalizes the people do. I stayed in my peach colored room at the Sofitel and had a panic attack. I lived largely off room service for the first week, read The Pure and Impure and The Vagabond by Colette to try to psyche myself up for plight of the actual homeless, and takes money directly from the pockets of people who really need it, and so on and so on, but I'm not going to. Besides, I approve of homeless people. I approve of them the way I approve of "it girls" and aristocrats and reality television stars. There's something that delights me about people who've decided that the fact that they exist and breathe air on this planet entitles them to sums of money from virtual strangers. I suspect that they have a much greater sense of the fundamental divinity of man than people who work jobs they dislike in order to make a living. So if you're going to be a homeless person, I say more power to you (for myself, I would rather be an "it girl" if only because it would entitle me to cooler clothes, but that's beside the point). But please - for heavens sakes - if you're going to be a homeless person, be a good homeless person. Because, truly, there are varying degrees of quality just like in every other profession. The homeless man par excellence, the homeless man who, at this stage of your career you should only dare to dream of being was named Bob. I doubt his name was actually Bob, but I have clearly either forgotten his real name, or else, failed to learn it. I met Bob when I was fifteen. :rviy parents had decided that I needed to gain a sense of independence, so they sent me off to spend the summer alone in Paris. I know you would have handled that wonderfully. You would have hit all the dubs and drank alcoholic bev- 4 debauched independence (a dismal failure - but fun reads) realized that my phone didn't work and I couldn't reach anyone back home, and that I didn't speak the language well, couldn't read the street maps, and no one was being helpfuL I'm not entirely against the idea of sending your children to a foreign land by themselves for the summer, but I think Paris is the wrong foreign land. After a week, I made a trek to the cafe two blocks away, where I became infuriated by the fact that you can't ever get butter with your bread (this is still a facet of French life that infuriates me, but that is another story, for another time). I spent a significant amount of time fretting and nibbling at my thumbnaiL It was a bad scene, until ten days into the trip when I finally went down into the Metro at the Balard station intent on seeing the Eiffel tower and met Bob. 1·fy first impression was that Bob was an excellently well dressed man. He wore very neat little bow ties and a bowler hat. He stuck out his right hand briskly at everyone who passed. Bob did not want you to give him a Euro; Bob took it as his God given right that you'd be giving him a Euro. Bob had the bold insouciance that so many homeless people try to emulate and that so few actually capture. And almost every businessman who passed him did, indeed, give him a Euro. And then he went up to me. And he started talking. In French. And I thought, "Oh God, now the homeless man is pestering me in French. I don't understand any of this. I hate Paris, and I want to go home." I expressed my wish to Bob in vehement terms that he and Paris go to Hell, and then burst into tears. Bob was quite understanding about this, and spoke excellent English (American homeless people, regrettably, do not speak French, and it is not worth trying to teach them otherwise). He told me that I was in Paris, the best city in the world! He waved his arms around to indicate this, inadvertently gesturing towards another homeless man urinating onto the tracks! I began to cry again! Bob told me that what I needed to do was go to the Paris Opera, gave me a metro map, and told me that I could see the entire city armed with only the phrase "ou est le metro?" It was good advice. From that day on, I gave Bob two Euros every morning, and he gave me a destination for the day. I did everything. I shopped at the flea market, I rode the carousel at the Luxembourg gardens, I saw the Opera House three times, I hung out at l..a Flore and read Sartre, I saw John Wayne movies with French sub~ titles (there's a brilliant moment where John Wayne growls "gimme a shot o' redeye" and the subtitle reads, "une bouteille de vin, s'il vous plait") and I took lots of photographs of the tourists videotaping the 1\Iona Lisa, . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Be Like Bob continued on pg. 5 �Be Like Bob continued from pg. 4 him a dollar and try to make light banter. He doesn't banter. It's like the first chapter and I learned whom you have to talk tq to of Remains of the Dcry that discusses the imget a good seat at the J\ifoulin Rouge. I never portance of banter - you can't be a good actually saw the Eiffel Tower - I figured I would save it for the next time around when manservant without banter, and you can't I didn't have Bob. Bob gave me the most be a good homeless person either. He comamazing summer ever - and he was right, plains about the weather. Every day. RegardParis is, if not the best, one of the better less of the weather. Sometimes I try to beat cities in the world. For two Euros a day, I him to the punch on the weather issue by consider that a hell of a bargain. I'm eter- remarking that we're having wonderful nally in his debt- I have a lot of friends who weather, but this fails. Alas! I bought biscotti go off to Paris, and I always ask them to for another homeless woman, and when I check the Balard station for me. Some appar- brought it to her, she screamed that I was ently do see him, and I like to think that they trying to poison her and that I "must hate colored people more than anyone else in the pass on my regards. J\.fy second favorite homeless person's world." Another homeless man to whom I name was Jerry (unlike Bob, this was his real made the mistake of giving a twenty-dollar name). I met him when I worked at the Lyric bill once, is now persistently enraged with Opera in Chicago (the appreciation of Opera me because I cannot alwcrys give him a twenty. Houses I credit entirely to Bob's influence). I I really, really don't like this group of homestooped down one day to give him a dollar, less people. Which is excellent for you, if you're tryand, as I did so, a woman passed and exing to comer the market on being a good claimed very loudly, "Don't give him that, he'll only spend it on heroin." Afterwards, I homeless person. The wit and cleverness asked Jerry what he would spend it on and among your competition is low. You can he exclaimed brightly, "Heroin! Heroin or totally take control and monopolize the maybe booze!" We both had a good laugh whole area like the Jim Fisk of vagrants. And about this. Actually, he might have been en- how will you do this? You will behave in a tirely serious. But we had a laugh, in any case. manner that merits positive anecdotes about It became a running joke, and I figured even your personage. You will be a guardian anif he did blow it on heroin, he probably gel to lost souls, and a prophet of that which needed that more than I needed books. And is to come. You will make jokes, you will then, one day, I passed Jerry's usual stoop charm, and you will know that your existand I found that he was not there! "Oh no!" ence merits money! You will banter! Think I thought, "Jerry wasn't joking about the of Bob! Think of Jerry! Get out there on the streets, and wear a whole heroin thing!" This continued for a bow.tie . . . . . . . · · · · · · · · · · · · few days. And then, one day, when I was catching the train home I saw Jerry on the Democracy continued from pg. 3 corner hawking issues of Streetwise. "Jerry!" I said, "What happened?" And he shook his be the implication in Bush's previously quoted head at me sadly and said, "Oh,Jenny Girl, statement. Majorities of civilians are less likely you can't be young forever. You can't be to make fanatical war and are less likely to be young forever." manipulated by a small group. \'{!e need only The point of these anecdotes is perhaps, look into the mirror to see how flawed this the fact that Jerry and Bob provided worth- supposition is. But that cannot be right. If while anecdotes. And anecdotes in which they democracies are more peaceful, why has the came off as good, interesting people. Largely United States' military been almost consisbecause Jerry and Bob were witty and kind tently active throughout the last sixty-five years? and, if not smart in that overly literate If democracies are less likely to be controlled Johnnie sense, more street smart than I can by a small group, how did a small group of ever hope to be. Homeless people in An- officials force us into establishing democracies napolis are not. I came here flush with youth- abroad, a justification that was never used leadful optimism thinking that I'd find another ing up to war? Either democracy doesn't actuBob or Jerry, and I never did. I feel like the ally create the effects that the administration homeless people hereabouts are only inter- says it does, or we don't have a democracy ested in me for my money. There's a home- here, or both. less man I meet on the street every day outside the Subway stoop, and every day I give SCI Minutes: November 10 Submitted by Liz Curry Present M& Beall, Mi Wilford,l\1s. Curry, l\11: Geannikis, Mr. Utter, Mr. Hurst; Mr. Croker, Ms. Elkins, Ms. Goguen, ]\.fs. Enns, Ms. Owens (Graduate Council Representative). J\.ir. Utter gave the Committee a report on the College's recently-hired Minority Recruitment Officer. He had talked with officials in the Admissions and Advancement Offices concerning the subject He first gave a brief history on the question of minorities at StJohn's, then described the program ofminority recruitment recently established on the Annapolis campus. The program is based largely on the initiative already in place at the Sanm Fe campus. Having previously spoken with President of Advancement, :tvfs. Goyette, and Director of Admissions, J\.fr. Christensen, J\.fr. Utter reported on severalissuesconcemingthenewinitiative. Thefollowingpositions were discussed: (a) That the active recruitment of minorities is part of what it means to be an academic institution in .America today; (b) That the visible lack of minorities on campus disturbs a lot of StJohn's studenffi; and (c) 1bat bringingmoreminority students :into the program would bring the positive effect of diversifjrlng opinions in the classroom. Atthepresentmoment; the College's active plan does not include establishing a monetary fund for minority students. Rather, its minority recruitment program is p:cimarily concerned with making sure that minority students know about the academic program and are given an idea about how it is relevant and choiceworthy. Followingl\11: Utter's extensive report, the Committee speculated as to whyminoritywere hindered in app~>ing. Is it the nature ofThe Program, the lack of schola.rslUp money that takes into acconnt minority status, or the lack of interest in a liberal arts education? Ms. Beall asked how the student polity could get involved in the process. :tvfs. Enns related her experience of giving a presentation about St John's to her old high school in South Carolina during the Wmter Breakofher freshman year(something the Admissions Office encourages Johnnies todoeveryyear). 1his seems to bethemainwayin which studentJ; here can help get the word out; besides simply being as welcoming and respectful of minorities as of other students. The agenda for the November 17 meeting will be posted early next week. The SCI meets in the PriV11teDiningRoomeveryThursdayat11:45. All members of the polity are invited to attend . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Where to go for the Best Chance of Going Home with a Doggie Bag: Cafe Normanclie By Nic Zakheim Since someone I know was still asleep when we were going to go out for coffee, our gathering was postponed until dinner time. As night fell, all I wanted a nice, warm, and satisfying soup. Eric wanted pasta, Sam wanted something substantial, and Erin declared that she wanted food. A short walk to Main St. and a sudden attack oflaziness brought us to the doors of Cafe Normandie. T he Cafe Norman die is considered to be one of the best restaurants in Annapolis, and for the most part I would agree -it's one of the best in Annapolis. In fact, it is the only restaurant in Annapolis that made The Washingtonian's "DC Area Top 1 00." Of course, it is the only local restaurant serving genuine French cuisine, but what is exceptionally pleasant is that the food is consistent in its quality (which is fairly good). Regarding decor and atmosphere, Cafe Normandie boasts a cozy atmosphere and window and fireside seating. T he best pe_ ople to sit in the window are those with good posture, and not wearing jeans, shorts, or short skirts. Fireside seating is great, but it can get a little too warm. Usually it is best to make reservations, since the restaurant is often busy, but we were lucky that night. Walking to our table, I noticed the open wall that displayed an almost spotless kitchen, which pleased me (I used to work in kitchens) a good deal. Sitting down at our table, displeasure kicked in when none of us had a matching set of silverware (come on people, if we can' t all have the same set of silverware, could each of our respective sets at least match?). I also forgot that the water glasses are a lot smaller there than most other places I have gone, which m akes a difference for bussers, since they have to come over more often to refill glasses, but it works very well to encourage patrons to order something other than water. As a general rule, I don't go to Cafe Normandie unless I am exceedingly hungry in the afternoon, when someone else is paying, o r when i t's Wedn esday. Cafe Normandie offers half-priced wine bottles on Wednesday evenings, which, when com- 6 bined with the early-bird (Spm-6:30) special m eals ($22 for an appetizer or salad, a very nice entree, and a desert), is a great time. But last night was an exception, since I wasn't that hungry, and oth er people wanted to go. There's no question, the restaurant is a fairly expensive place to eat, but they definitely try to make you think you're getting your money's worth. You get French cuisine, but not French portions. S11persize Me c?uld have featured some of the portion s1zes. Sam ordered pasta with chicken, asparagus and mushrooms, which she said was two meals in one. It was served in an enormous bowl, the pasta on the bottom, then a layer of sweet tomato sauce. Those two bottom layers definitely did not mix with the flavors of the topmost layer (grilled and seasoned chicken, fresh asparagus and mushrooms). So when Sam said that it was like "two meals in one," she meant this in more than one way. Eric's pasta with sausage and green beans smeUed nice enough, and his input consisted of "the sau sage was well done and juicy." I u sually enjoy the buckwheat spinach and mushroom crepe, but since it was far too cheesy and incredibly big, and all I wanted was some soup, Erin and I decided to split the fried Brie with fresh greens and vinaigrette, and we each had the seasonal pumpkin soup. Normandie's baked Brie with honey and almonds, while p erfectly baked until the cheese developed the desired over-crust top layer, is wonderful to taste but rather lard-like and unappetizing to behold. Appearances can be ignored when taste triumphs, but the contrast exis ted regardless, and I still prefer the baked Brie at 49 West, which also comes with much more than just crackers. The fried Brie was cold and strange, but when dipped in the pumpkin soup, the contrast of flavors was pleasant. Sometimes the restaurant's need for artsy presentation can be excessive, making the whole eating process more difficult than it should be, as happens fairly often with the artichoke dishes (where they leave some of . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . the inedible stem s on, which made the dish cumbersome and messy to eat). A lso, they oil and grease some food to make it look more appealing. Finally, regarding some of the non-pasta entrees, while most restaurants include a Cornish hen or chicken dish mainly as a way to appease the non-adventurous dining dead, at Cafe Normandie, th e Cornish hen was a special, and like the lobster and the pastas, prepared in a style distinctly French . More moderately sized than the lobster, the Cornish hen looks excellen t, and pairs well with crispy pan fried potatoes and buttery sauteed spinach. But you will notice that tl1ere is only dark meat on the plate, the more succulent parts of the bird apparently getting lost somewhere between coop and kitchen. A no ther source of immoderation is their desert crepes, which are not only massive, but filled with a rather too American heaping of vanilla ice cream. All in all, though, it is easy to understand all tl1e positive reviews of the restaurant and its food. But I would suggest saving money and splitting entrees, or going to the earlybird meal and taking most of it home for a couple of additional meals. Job continued from front page was seen as the key to reward in the afterlife. 1bis required beliefin a noble and quintessentially good God: a view which is incongruous \vitll tile protest found in ilie book of Job. Thus, ilie text ofJob was translated over ilie centuries in a fashion til at reduces the ambiguity found in the Hebrew text to a comforting certainty. Job is made into pious character who surrenders to the power of ilie Almighty. Professor Schraub suggests an alternate translation, in which Job does not surrender to God's \vill, but instead remains silent in defiance of his Creator. Ultimately, Professor Schraub's lecture serves a reminder of tile immense complexity and ambiguity found in all ancient and important texts ..Mr. Schraub reminds us that tradition can leave out important information, and tllat tile powers that be within religious circles have human motives when they examine sacred texts. �Due to his incredible amount of chutz- pah, Non-Racist Julio quickly killed 1he Space Knights with ease. As a result, the final stanza of 1he Space Knight Information Song has been slighdy modified: There Ve bem onfy two men who have ever beat them, And 110t 1vith pure luck did thry solve this dt!emma, The story} so famous; eveol()ne knows wbere To find that brave monk wbo} sure got a pair. To celebrate their glorious, albeit anticlimactic victory, Space Dragon and his friendly sidekick Non-Racist Julio stuffed their cakeholes with a great space feast. Non-Racist Julio ate whiskey while Space Dragon consumed his favorite salad, which consisted of graviton particles, tachyon particles, Z-boson particles, baryon particles, and other deliciously indulgent fake "'The allegory continues .•. OR DOES IT?P LasttimeonTHEFUTURlSTICADVENTURES OF SPACE DRAGON, AND HIS FRIENDLY SIDEKICK NON-RACIST ]UUO ... Space Dragon discovered he was adopted. 1hisisnottrue. What is true, however, is that he does not know who his father is. .His father, however, lives on the other side of town. Space Dragon is stupid, so he went into space with his hard-drinking,hard-smokingsidekickNon-Racist Julio. The College either does, or does not, need an open dialogue on race. Non-RacistJulio was not stupid, but was drunk. As things stand now, they are in Outer Space. Because there is no oxygen in space, Space Dragon cannot breathe fire. ]bis, however, does not mean that NonRacist Julio cannot breathe- remember, he is drunk. Also,remembertheAlamo. Because of their defenselessness, they are concemed about rurulinginto a Space Knight. Non-Racist Julio has promised Space Dragon that they -will not run into any Space Knights, but recall that NonRacist Julio is drunk. Also, recall the Alamo. ThistimeonTHEFUTURlSTICADVENTURES OF SPACE DR.ii.GON, AND HIS FRIENDLY SIDEKICK NON-RACIST JUUO ... Two Space Knights approach. Before we continue this story, however, there is some important information you need to know about space knights. Fortunately; NonRacist Julio is about to sing the traditional Space Knight Information Song. It is sung to the tune of the theme to Fresh Prince rf Bel-Air, and we recommend that you gather some friends in the quad and sing it in a round. None of you may be inebriated: Now here is some info all about how Space Knights received their wide renown ItYI tah a .space-minutejust float right there Pqy attmtion to the dangers 'cause you're unaware (Interlude) In deep outer .space where thry reign supreme Thry'!l t'Ut)I()U down fast with their laser-gun beams h.'l!itt with 'n axe, attacks are quite cmel and thry never ride aw9 without winnin' the duel if a couple o/g'!)'s who are doin' some good run in to some .space knights then itS tmderstood Thry got to flee the damn scene 'caJtse thry won i' be span:d ItS said 'Those space knights doni have honor or mercy (Thry don J care.)" particles. Oh, look! Jews' Clues has just discovered a new particle! It's called d1e },.faxaron particle. (In particle physics, a maxaronis a type of subatomic particle which transcendentally combines neutrons and fennions into a plane of four-momentum and imaginary proper time, but only at superluminal and subdermal velocities. Its color is light periwinkle, shot through with Robin's Egg Blue. T11erefore, it can never slow to light speed or below. According to Einstein, who we were able to talk to using a Maxaronbased telephone system from beyond the grave, the l\1axaron particle's seriously-complex-valued mass is a consequence ofnegatively-squared special relativity and cherries. Not regular cherries, though, but only maraschino cherries which have been irradiated by a particle accelerator under the design ofThe Ultraviolet Catastrophe, also called the Rayleigh-Jeans catastrophe, which was a prediction of early 20th century classical physics that an ideal black body at 1hermal equilibrium will emit radiation with infinite power. INFINITE POWERJ!!) Space Dragon was still hungry, Non-Racist IVhCII thry go for a stab altdyou're filled with fiar 10u re cifraid for your flesh and hope a space dragon} 11ear but a!!Jthing he could do would not helpyou there, andyou kno;v man forget ityou ain i' got no prqyer. There was onfy om man who had ever beat them, And not with pure luck did he solve hiS dilemma, His story} now missing/ nobotfy knows where To find the hero who will be htS sJve/1 heir. Julio was still drunk, and Mr. Casey just had a heart attack. We're so, so sorry. NEXT WEEK ON THIS THING \VE WRITE: S. Diddy finds an enormous hint regarding his fa1her's location hidden in Jenny Lowe's dream. Also, Aaron's mom writes into Jews' Clues bickering about semantics. Also, we find it progressively harder to keep up this storyline and insane ramblings occur. But at least we're half-way done. . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P. 0. Box 2800 DATE DUE I Sports Wire by Ara Guekguezian Wednesday, November 2 Spartans v. Guardians bcatch, Luke Russell had a deep downfield carry, and Patrick Rieder pulled a Matt McLean by missing the field goal. Adam Juskewich contributed a score of his own for th e 'Souled-Gold', prompting Rob Hurst to make another of his trademark clutch passes to Charles, resulting in a touchdown for P a t Rieder, who unMcLeaned himself. On the "last play," Dave Kraus got another big catch, putting the Guardians on top, and Adam 'Lil Skeez' got a takeaway on the kickoff as the golden defen se finally got the job taken care of. Saturday. November 12 Green Waves v. Druids If the Hustlers-Guardians match was the If the Spartans-Guardians match was game of the year, this was its hot, drunk someone's hot, drunk cousin, this was its cousin. But enough o f my fantasies-let's great-uncle's trophy wife. But enough of get to tl1e game: Ian Hanover cut through my life circa 2050 A.D.-let's get to the the defense on first down, slicing and dicing game: both teams came out in full force, his way to the goal line, but the yellow brick very aggressive, with lots of chances. Matt wall shut 'em down, as the Spartans decided McLean, whose name shall became a bynot to go for the safe field goal. Would this word among th e nations, barely missed cost them? Rob Iro ns made a leaping catch another wise (sic] beautiful shot, but Nlike barely in the end zone on fifth down for a Jones' soccer-bow in the sky assured the touchdown ... or was it? Yes, it was .. . not a Druids of God's steadfast love. But divine touchdown, thanks to a persistent effort by favor is a fickle thing: N ick Whittier score D.A. Rob Hurst. So from their one yard line, right back, as the defense was 'moved' out the Spartans blitzed upfield with Hanover of the way by the 'Spirit'. In the second and Pat Sullivan, only to be pincered at half thing got increasing physical, with pushStalingrad by a fumble recovery. But Ian and ing, tripping, holding, and myriad dangerPat (Pat and Ian), the guys downstairs with ous maneouvres, not all of which were the spare keys, got their score, with an inter- called. James "The Karate Kid" Wrigley ception and a touchdown, respectively. The ' sprung like a chicken' to add to his reperGuardians responded with a silly play toire of superior save-age, but he had no upfield, capped with a touchdown. They answer before the Pharisees, Sadducees, and had a sillier play in the third quarter, with a N ick Whittier, who sco red once off of a long bomb to the end zone intercepted by crazy rebound and again with a dribble play Ian, whose attempted pass was swatted for a hat trick. Chester Martin brought two down by an 'an onymous tip', picked up by siblings but left his ''N' game back at the Sam H -T (you know him), and tossed to ranch, as his goals-per-game average slipped Tommy Dyer for the TD. On the ensuing below two. Giovanni Smedley and Matt kick-off, the Spartans returned the ball with Mangold both starred on the defensive end. such silliness that a touchdown was inevi- Oh, and you've got to hear Pat Sullivan's table. On the en suing two-point-conversion rendition of "Take Me Out to the attempt, Tommy intercepted and passed the Ballgame." ball to David Kraus, who then threw it to Lee Goldsmith (despite his modest protestSunday. November 13 ing, he's in the Gadfly), who ran it into the end zone. Charles Gilmarten brought the Hustlers v. Green Waves boys in blue back with a big btouchdown 8 Blessed with a numerical advantage, the jade sea's offspring came out and played with self-esteem, crashing against the breakwater until Nick Whittier finally got one that slipped through the Fuzz' hands. Jake Crabbs led the red light offense, but was denied sweet glory by bitter fate. While Shant Shahrigian grunted like a female tennis player, Fabio Lomelino punc hed in a rebound off the Fuzz-bar. But the Hustlers showed that two could play at the game o f capitalizing on a goalie's freak slip of hand, as Charles Fleming wound up with .a goal. In the second half, with momentum building, slowly but inexorably, Charlie (who would go on to injure himself on a 'noser') hit in a second goal, this one much more impressive (take that, Garettt "I think sailing is more important than soccer" Drexler). But Nate Whitman threw a penny onto the rails of the Hustlers' runaway congo train, defying their defense's best efforts to inflate his currency. Then Whitman tried it with a Sacagawea dollar, and punched it through when the vending machine wouldn't accept it. Then Greg Whittier (that's right) put the nail in the dobbyn with onemo' goa'. Druids v. Spartans The Druids were all revved up and ready to go as tl1ey tried to cover up the blemish of Saturday's defeat with slatherings of cosmetics.l\.fike Jones led the charge 'Jubal'-antly wiili an 'Early' goal (that's a Civil War joke, folks). Then nothing h appened . .. until the second half, when a HAZ- PAT team of Rieder and Sullivan took on the 'Karate Kid' (see above) and beat the living crap out of him (i.e. , they scored a goal). But as the Druids went back on the offenive, Ian Hanover, a yow1g kid with a sack of bagels and lot of chutzpah, took matters into his own hands-literally, leading to a successful penalty kick from I an Lundquist (that's probably misspelled). The Maroon Monsoon kept on pouring, as Rory Williams scored a onebouncer from the middle of the field, Chester Martin juked Rob Hurst out of the goal, whither went the ball, and Dave Cantine . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 10 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-11-16 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 10 of The Gadfly. Published November 16, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.10 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/53353890375c4178cc7c8c7a13029c36.pdf 1c5563eb74bc280ad88b4b40573cc967 PDF Text Text L GADFLY 1 The St. John} College Student Weekfy Volume XXVII, Issue 11 Annapolis, Maryland November 29, 2005 Lecture Critique: '~ Reading of a Mozart Piano Sonata" by Mark McClay Editor-in-Chief The original cast of Porgy and Bess in rehearsal, !935. National Opera: Porgy and Bess by Nathan Gates On Saturday, November 12, a vanload of Johnnies saw the Washington National Opera's production of George Gershwin's Porgy a11d Bess, stan-ing baritone Gordon Hawkins and soprano Indira Mahajan. The cast delivered a strong, convincing performance, conveying not only the nobility of the individual characters Porgy, Bess, and J\1aria but the tragic cowardice of the populace of Catfish Row. In the coastal South Carolina fishing village of Catfish Row, at a place where men gather to drink and gamble, a man named Crown gets drunk, quarrels over a game of dice, and kills another man. After he flees the scene, his con- sort Bess, a hard-drinking, cocaine-sniffing woman despised by the town, is left alone in the deserted streets as the police approach the scene of the murder. Only Porgy, a beggar who is lame in one leg, is willing to take her into his home after everyone else has turned her away. Crown stays away, waiting for the hue and cry to subside, and Porgy and Bess become lovers. Some time later, the church in Catfish Row holds a picnic on nearby Kittiwah Island, which Porgy convinces Bess to attend even though his own crippled leg prevents him from joining her. There the dmg dealer Sportin' life, with whom Bess previously had at least a business relationship, attempts to undermine public religion and morals with his famous song "It Ain't Necessarily So." As the picnickers are leaving, Crown, who has been hiding on the island, catches Bess, and something between a rape and a seduction occurs. Bess is found two days later, delirious, and is returned to Porgy. Porgy and Bess continued on page 4 l\fs. \'{lye Allan brook's recent Friday lecture, "Rising to the Surface: A Reading of a I\1ozart Piano Sonata," has been a stimulus of much discussion and argument among the more musically-inclined members of the St. John's community. Ms. Allanbrook's argument is based on a criticism of the idea of"depth" or "profundity," as opposed to "superficiality." The former she identifies with some of the more heavy-handed analytical theories of music, all of which seek (through various methods) an understanding of a given work of music as an organic whole. I\-fs. Allanbrook encourages the listener to seek the meaning of the musical in its appearance "on the surface," rather than to search for esoteric meanings "down in the depths." She rightly points out that these kinds of analysis often fail to take into account the nature of music as an art existing "in time." One cannot observe a Mozart sonata in its entirety, in the same way one might view a building or painting. As with all of the performing arts, it is in the nature of music to be in motion, and thus a Mozart sonata can only come to us moment by moment. However, Ms. Allanbrook takes this idea in a very problematic direction. Rejecting this sort of theoretical musical "analysis" (of which Mozart continued on page 3 �THE .,._.GADFLY The Editors/ Page Polity Elections Editors-in-Chief Shoshana Goldstein Mark R McClay Christopher B. Utter Co-Editors Aaron B. Roberts Photographers Clark Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Nina Can:ieri Elizabeth Curry Nathan Gates Dan Rera Jennifer Wright Nic Zakheim Leo Pickens Founded in 1980, the Gadfbl .is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole rcspom;ibility of the author(s)and do not neccssarilly represent the opinions of the GadJ!y staf£ The Gar!fjy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit :mbmissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. 1,etters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Ga4ffy is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under :;;pecial circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they arc legibly written, but typed copies, di-:kettes, and e-mail submissions arc greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 1vfy term as polity president will end at the close of this semester, as will the terms of polity secretary Chris Utter and polity treasurer L.T. Burbridge. This means we need to elect new officers. Therefore, we will hold elections on 11onday, December 12. If you would like to run for polity president, gather 20 signatures from your peers and send them to polity attorney Erikk Geannikkis through campus mail no later than Wednesday, December 7. If you would like to run for polity secretary or treasurer, do the same thing, except gather only 10 signatures. A good campaign is good for the candidates, the voters, and the eventual officers. Therefore I encourage those who wish to run for these offices to submit a letter to the Gadfly by Sunday, December 4. The letter should say something about yourself, why you want to run, and why you ought to be elected. Furthermore, I think a public debate between the presidential candidates is in order. Any presidential candidates who wish to participate should contact me so that we may decide on a time and place. All of you should think about running for one of these offices. I promise you will get a lot out of it, win or lose. The only thing you won't get is power, unless you think education is power, which you damn well ought to. That's about it for me. Stop littering, and be nice to one another. Brian Jones SJC Polity President Attention to All Gadfly Contributors: If the observant reader were to glance a few inches downward and to the left, he might notice, nestled in the bottom left-hand comer of this page, that The Gadfly does, in fact, have an official submission deadline: 12:00 midnight, before Sunday morning. We have made every effort in the past to be flexible in printing late submissions, as many of you well know. But, contra1y to popular belief, editors have lives too, and the volume of post-deadline submissions we now receive makes the job of myself and the other editors extremely timeconsuming and places us at a great and entirely THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . avoidable inconvenience. We can and do bend the deadline from time to time, allowing for extenuating circumstances- coverage of events on Saturday or Sunday morning, for instancebut the time has certainly come for this existing policy to be more strictly enforced. Anyone wishing to submit after the deadline must ask the notify the editors in advance, give an acceptable reason for the delay, and state a time that the article will be submitted. Otherwise, all articles submitted late will be held until the following issue. Mark McClay Gadfly Co-Editor-in-Chief Help Wanted: Are you interested in working with the The Gadfly second semester? Tuesdays 5:00PM Gadfly Office BBC 110 Help wanted especially for: -Writing -Editing -Layout �Activities and Events SJC Student Activities Sun., Dec. 4: Handel's Messiah at the National Cathedral BuyyourticketonThursday,Dec.l at7:15in the Coffee Shop. 10 tickets available. $10 per ttcket. Sun., Dec. 11: The Nutcracker- Win free tickets! Enter the drawing to win 2 free tickets to the Ballet TI1eater of J\.1aryland's performance. Put your name and contact info. in the drawing box in the Asst. Dean's Office. Drawing will be on Thurs., Dec. 8th. Winners will be notified by campus mail. One eniiJ' perpersmt, thanks! Tues., Dec 13: Asst. Dean's Holiday Party Great Hall (after Collegium and before the Waltz Party) Campus/ L!Jcal Events · 't Fn.,Dec.2- Lectute: "Gravt ons" 8:15PM, FSKAuditoriurn. Freeman Dyson, professor emeritus, School ofNatural Sci~ces, Institute for Advanced Study, Princeton U~ver­ sity Fri., Dec. 2: Music and Candlelight for the Holidays William Paca House, 186 Prince George Street, 7:00-9:00 PM. Candlelit tour of tl1e William Paca House in all of its holiday grandeur. Seasonal music and refreshments. Call410-267-8146 or visit www.annapolis.org Fti./Sat., Dec. 2-3: State House by Candle- light Maryland StateHouse, 7:00-9:00 PM. Bands, choral groups, and ensembles perform. Free _a~­ mission. Call 410-974-3400 or vrstt www.mdisfun.org. Sat., Dec. 3: Annapolis Youth Chorus Holiday Concert St. Anne's Episcopal Church, 7:30PM. Ticketsare$15/adults and children 12yearsorolder. To reserve seats, call 410-263-1906 or visit annapolischorale.org. Sun., Dec. 4- Harpsichord Recital 3:00PM, McDowell Great Hall. As part of the St. John's Concert Series, harpsichordist I'vfarcia Kravis will be performing music by composers from the rime ofDomenico Scarlatti, fea- turing some of Scarlatti's keyboard son~tas. Kravis is the harpsichordist with the Amertcan Society ofAncient Instruments, a Philadelphiabased early music ensemble. Mozart continued from front page she presents some rather extreme examples), she encourages an appreciation for the "s~­ perficial" aspects of the :lvfozart sonat~, pnmarily its origins in dance form and m the customs and conventions of the 18th century. She argues further that because music is tern~ poral, a piece of music must be understood as a sequence of"gestures," not as an ordered whole. But this analogy which Ms. Allanbrook proposes between music and the~trical "ge~­ ture" seems to raise more questions than 1t answers. If the analogy with theater is to be carried further, one would have to see the music as having "characters" and" scenes," n ot a random sequence of occurrences. What is it that makes Iviozart choose to do this "gesture" in a given instance? Do these " gestures , have any relationship to one another, or ~re they simply introduced according to the whim of the composer? The language o f " gesture, may be useful in describing aspects of music (certainly, this vocabulary is nothing ne":' to musicians, who use similar devices all the tlme as aids for performance), but it brings with it at least one critical pitfall. The nature of this pitfall might best be approached by an analogy to the study of a new language. Those who have studied any foreign language in depth will understand the difference between a person with the ability to read and comprehend the language itself, and one who is able to translate it back into English. Of the two people in this comparison, only the former can be said to really know the language; whereas the former understands the new language on its own terms, the latter only understands it to the extent that he can identify it with something he already knows (in this case, English equivalents). As those of ~s in language tutorials have realized by now, this latter position is a simple fallacy because evety language has seemingly "untranslatable" words; this is why so many of us at St.John's have fallen into the habit of leaving Greek certain words - like logos, to pick everyone's favorite example- untranslated when we refer to them in conversation. We do this because of our understanding that the Greek language has a genius which is not always found to be in a one-to-one correspondence with English, or with any other language, for that matter. To approach a language in this way is to treat it as if it were a sort of "encoded English." This, it seems, is the fundamental weakness in this approach to music in general. Tills perspective sees music as the product of all sorts of extraneous factors- conventions, social norms, stylistic trends, occasion, and so forth. If any given piece of music is to be understood as simply a combination of these elements, then it will never be understood or appreciated qua music. Indeed, how could lviozart have relevance to listeners in the 21 •t century if he were nothing but a hodge-podge of the particular conventions of the 18th? What r...Is. Allanbrook does not allow for, by her own admission, is the existence of any sort of intrinsically musical meaning. I'vfusic can never be understood as music if it is seen as simply the sum reflection of non-musical things; such an approach is akin to the Greek student who tries to understand logos by identifying it with "word," and reading the meaning of the English word back into the Greek. It is certainly true d1at many aspects 1\.fozart's music are strongly informed by historical, social, and cultural factors. This is obvious, and very much to be expected. No one would argue that music exists in some sort of vac.uwn, insulated from any sort of extraneous mfluences; J\ Is. Allanbrook is correct in saying that no music is quite "absolute," in the sense of being completely independent. But we should hardly find it startling that 1\fozart, living in the 18th century, would write 1 gth century music. For an artist to make use of the conventions available to himis to be expected. It would be ludicrous to expect anything else; it would make no more sense than the expectation that a novelist should invent a new language every time he sits down to write. The fact that music is conventional does not mean that its whole content can be accounted for solely in terms of conventions. Imagine a fellow trying to understand a short story or book by scrutinizing the paper the author wrote on; would such a~ approach be any less silly if applied to mustc? Indeed, Ms. Allan brook's whole argument seems to imply that there is no such thing as mttsimlity, per se- that is to say, that music has no intrinsic meanings of its own, which can be perceived without references to _n~n-musical images, moods, or social and stylistic conventions. In essence, it seems that 1\.fs. Allanbrook is saying that the way in which we at St. John's tty to study the great books- that is, with little or no reference to secondary scholarship and the culture in which the book was written, and with emphasis instead on the enduring content of the work- is inapplicable to music. If this position is to be taken seriously, we would have to accept that such an approach to the study of music would be, at best, a waste of 1 time.~ . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �she seems uttedy debauched to everyone else. She makes an easy transition to the dignity and modesty of being Porgy's woman. \Xi'hen Porgy perCould the jump from Sophomore to Jun- suades her to go to the picnic, her wish to stay ior Math be covered better? Could there be beside him conveys equal parts or concem for his a packet compiled for Sophomores to go happiness and fear for herself if she leaves his through over the summer to prepare for side; she develops and explains, as it were, this Junior Year? Why, and in what way, do we fear when Crown accosts her on the island. In use Zuckerkandl's SenJC of Musk? These that scene her reluctance to fight too hard or move questions will be addressed in more detail too fast eventually gives way to a passionate surrender that shows us that she was as afraid ofher after the Thanksgiving Break. The SCI meets Thursdays at 11:45 a.m. own weakness as of Crown's strength. The same in the Private Dining Room. All members transformation occurs when Sportin' life offers of the polity are more than welcome to at- her cocaine. Even with no music, her movetend. There will be no meeting next week ments would suffice to reveal Bess's frailty and to support the villagers' sentiment that even at her due to Thanksgiving. "lr best she was never worthy of Porgy. Porgy himself is the stable center aronnd Porgy and Bess continued from front page which the whole opera revolves. Despite his Bess eventually recovers, aided by Porgy's crutch and his useless right leg, he is a solid loving care. Bess tells Porgy that she wants to man: quick, agile, and quite dangerous in a fight stay with him but that Crown will come back unless he is knocked to the ground. When he soon and force her to return to her old life. sings that the coins he has won in a game of Soon thereafter, a hurricane arises, and Clara (a craps are like stars, he overwhelms his young woman of Catfish Row) is stricken with opponent's jealous anger with the pure, simple terror for her husband Jake, who is fishing on joy of having something to buy his supper the open ocean. While the whole village is with. His usual dignity makes his mad rejoicgathered in her home to comfort her, Crown, ing after he has killed Crown all the more diswho has swum back from Kittiwah Island turbing, and his terrified nnwillingness to view through the storm, mocks their piety and hu- the body all the more frustrating. 0 what a miliates Bess, while the perturbed villagers re- noble mind is here o'erthrown ... My only serious complaint about this per~ strain Porgy from defending her. Afterwards, in the darkened streets, Crown assaults Bess. formance is that the vocal style was too operPorgy comes to her defense, takes Crown's atic. Gershwin's music is obviously drawn more knife from him, and kills him. The police from American folk tunes and jazz than from arrive; unable to get testimony from anyone, the tradition of European opera; but the cast, they take Porgy away to identify Crown's body, for the most part, showed that it cared more never suspecting that he is the murderer. for the latter than the former. Porgy in particuSportin' Life dupes Porgy into thinking that lar sang with such heavy vibrato that, as much the dead man will bleed when his killer looks as I wanted to ignore the supercities, I simply at him, and while Porgy is in jail for contempt couldn't understand what he was singing withof court, Sportin' Life gives cocaine to Bess out them. There were, however, a few delightand entices her to go to New York with him. ful exceptions to this rule: J ermaine Smith sang Porgy returns a week later, and the opera ends the part of Sportin' Life with a dear, simply as he leaves on a (probably futile) journey to expressive tenor, saving the fancy stuff for exquisitely, comically sinister gyrations of his body. find and rescue her. Director Francesca Zambello certainly has The two peddlers, the Strawberry Woman and superb material to work with, beginning with a the Crab Man, milked their few lines for all they set which, under varying lighting conditions, can were worth, but in the style of Broadway singevoke either a slum of towering, prison-like ten- ers rather than Wagnerians. They slid up to ements or an idyllic meadow on an island. The pitches, they knew just how long to pause, their hurricane is suggested through modest sound gesturers were perfectly timed -in short, they effects and the cowering of the whole cast in the seemed to be playing a musical prank on a stage middle of the stage - nothing in it distracts where everyone else was hard at work. If there from the music and acting; AsBes~MS. Mahajan is one scene I want to savor forever, it is that of does everything one could want. She convinces the Crab Man moseying offstage in the late afus in the opening scenes that Crown needs her ternoon sunlight, singing about his devilled even though he despises her, and even though crabs as if he doesn't care who hears him.~ SCI Minutes: Friday Lectures Submitted by Liz Curry Thursday, November 17. Members present: Beall, Wilford, Hurst, Goguen, Curry, Elkins, Croker, Geannikis, Utter, GJ. Ali Owens. The question of lecture and its purpose in the Program was revisited. Is lecture supposed to foster the College community by serving as a common class once a week? Or does its purpose lie more on the level of the individual and his understanding and interest in the topic covered? If both purposes belong to the existence of lecture, can one said to be more important than the other? Do factors such as the fact that FSK Auditorium can no longer accommodate the entire college undermine the purpose of lecture, either in truth or in the opinions of the students? Mr. Utter pointed out that lecture does provide an exposure to a teaching method that is foreign to the rest of the program but not necessarily in complete apposition to it. Attending a lecture is a good way to sharpen the art of good listening, an activity which can bear fruit immediately in the question period after the lecture. Several members reported that they felt themselves to be 'better at' lecture now than in Freshman year. Is this a result of regularly attending lectures and consequently becoming habituated to their structure? Or, I\'fr. Croker suggested, is acquiring a better understanding of a text or idea through alecture more the result of greater familiarity with the texts referenced? Or perhaps becoming a better listener and thinker by means of seminar has a positive effect on the way one digests the content of more passive forms of education. Mr. Geannikis observed that while hearing a good lecture now feels like a luxury to him, having a good seminar feels like a real education. In this way it appears that seminar, the core of the Program, is not only good for its own sake, but is also the key to making other means of approaching education effective and beneficial. The discussion then turned briefly to an update from the Junior and Sophomore reps with regards to their classes' concerns. The two main issues were Junior I\{ath and Sophomore Music. Concerns raised included: is the algebra test rigorous enough? 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Jen-Sais-Quoi: Do Not Fear the Hug Monkey the old people I saw did not seem as though they would be appropriately appreciative. "But why are hugs so important?" you might ask (you, the reader who has also felt I hate airports. I really do. Aside from findvisceral sadness at the fact that you will not be ing them positively purgatorial, I hate their getting many hugs after the age of seventy). I cracked plastic seats, I hate the dry air, I hate the didn't really understand it myself, until I read way everything is white and grey and instituPlotinus. After reathng him, and while trying tional, and I hate the businessmen sleeping in to fmd the origin of the hug's inherent goodthe gates like grim portents of jet-lag to come. ness, I remarked to someone, But I love movie airports. Movie "Maybe hugs come from someairports are fantastic. Whenever I thing like the One. Maybe they see an airport feature into a movie come from some giant unknow- or at least, a movie that isn't able form that is pink.'' Because the about planes crashing, having form would have to be pink. Cillian Murphy on them, or oth"Hmm ... " she replied, ''like the erwise being scary- I know there's Invisible Pink Unicorn?" going to be hugging and embracDamn right, like the Invisible ing and joyt I want to live in the Pink Unicorn (IPU.) This creature airport featured in Love Actualfy magnificently mimics Plotinus's where it seems no one waits for own work, insofar as it combines planes; they just stand around, logical philosophy (as we know the hugging. Airports would be betUnicorn is invisible because we can't ter if we hugged more. see it) and also religious faith (as In fact, life would be better if we also know that it is pink). Somewe hugged more. I was talking times the Invisible Pink Unicorn, to a great fellow I know, and he unlike the One, makes herself asked what I would do with my manifest in the intelligible realm by life in the unlikely event that I frolicking in your washing machine, had finished writing my bestsellwhich is why sometimes, you pull ing critically acclaimed novels, read your clothes out only to find that my ever expanding list of books they have all turned pink. Also, she I feel stupid for not having read, has been known to steal socks moved to Venice, and became when she is in there (I can only susJohn Currin's close personal pect this is because her hooves get friend, succeeded in making my cold). Hugs partake in the !PU, but feet shrink to a size seven and a do not diminish it; for it effervesces half, and learned to cook withsuch things by its very being. This out actually being taught how to is manifest given the fact that the do so (perhaps this could be acway one feels after hugging is ofcomplished by osmosis). I told ten the way one feels after seeing a him that after I'd done all that, The hug monkey, observed here in its natural habitat. If you see one of these on particularly attractive pink object. all the pressure would be off, and campus, do not fear it.. Thus, by hugging we bring ourI could become a hug monkey. I selves closer to the form of supreme Pinkness. would caper merrily through the streets of "Why are your limbs around me, you freak?" Venice like a monkey, hugg1ng all who crossed Thirteen is a terrible age, but that is beside the I suspect Plot:inus would have liked to have my path. Locals and tourists would not be the point. As people gtow older, they get too cool written about the Invisible Pink Unicorn himleast bit frightened by this, for hug monkeys for hugs. You can note the general downward self, but felt it was too silly a topic for him to invoke only love. Eventually, this would set off trend. Remember how everyone hugged you touch on. Also, the lack of washing machines a trend where everyone would hug everyone they and told you how clever you were when you in his age meant that the Pinkness was not yet encountered, and thus, no one would go to were about five? They don't do that anymore, making itself manifest. However, some among us may long for a work, because they'd be so busy hugg1ng one do they? .And it only gets worse as you get older. another, and Venice's economy would first fal- I recently read an article about how people over more secular explanation. I can't offer you any ter, and then collapse entirely until it became (as the age of seventy are not frequently touched, specific reason hugs are so inherently good but Calvina perhaps nnknowinglypredicted) an in- and it made me sad. I contemplated hugging all statistics show that they produce brilliant results. visible city. But the hug monkeys would care the old people I saw the next day, but felt too They improve the body's immune system, they awkward to actually attempt it. _And most of reduce stress, and they induce sleep, cure depres- Jennifer Wright Staff Writer not. They would just go right on, capering and hugg1ng for all eternity. Today, there are far too few hug monkeyscertainly not enough to pose a substantial threat to America's econom}~ Some children are good little hug monkeys, but they grow out of it as they get older, and by the time they're about thirteen if you try to embrace them they will stare at you as if to say, "What are you doing? . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �sion and have no unpleasant side effects. I have also thought about this, and it seems to me that hugs provide exercise for short people, and also, stooping exercise for tall people. It's always been my impression that penicillin was the wonder drug to cure every ill, but I think hugs may be quite as good. Unless, of course, you happen to have syphilis. That is why I'm going to declare the day after this article is published "Invisible Pink Unicom DaJ~" Go around and, when you pass people you know instead of doing that awkward thing where you wait for them to wave, and wonder whether you ought to wave, just be a hug monkey. Go up and hug them. Compliment them, too - the IPU is all about the compliments. I admit this is kind of a shameless bid to let me feel less awkward about my desire to be a hug monkey. But still, I'm convinced it's a good idea, as hugs and compliments make almost everyone happy. However, I also know that not everyone thinks about how nice it would be to be a hug monkey, so I am offering advice to the beginning buggers reading this. First, extend your arms in a wide "l-am-going-to-hug-you" gesture (after which it may be prudent to say, "I'm going to hug you!" so the huggee is aware of your designs, especially if he or she looked baffled by your broadly extended arms). Then fling your arms about them. Try to avoid pinning the huggee's arms to their sides, as if you do, theycannothugyou back. For men, I think, hugs must generally be shorter than they are for women, and often accompanied by some form of back patting. Now, it is possible that you'll say to someone, "I'm going to hug you," and he'll say, "No, you're not," and sneer as though he is much too cool for that. If that is the case, then I think you must simply walk away and weep bitter, bitter tears about how that person has lost all traces of their once glorious child-like innocence. For the most part, though, I think people will accept hugs warmly. I'm going to try it out. I hope no one turns me down. Actually, I hope other people initiate them, so I won't have to feel awkward at all. You could initiate them by saying, "I read your article," and I will hug you instantly. Thus you will have practiced hugging skills, and I will have come closer to living out my dream of being a hug monkey. Because what the world needs now are hug monkeys, sweet hug monkeys. So until tomorrow, I'm going to leave you to dream of a day when we are all so busy hugging that we miss our planes, and throw the economy into serious jeopardy. But we won't care. We'll be off hugging. "!!r 6 Where to Go for the Best Ice Cream in Annapolis By Nic Zakheim In celebration of the cold front of winter rl1at finally hit Annapolis rltis week, I figured that the best dUng to do would review a subject near and dear to all of our frozen hearts: the ice cream parlors of downtown Annapolis. On Main Stteetalonethere are three/four places where you can walk in for a scoop or a shake, and then there are another two on Dock Street. But are any of them any good? Are they worth the money? Let us begin our ice cream taste test from the top ofl\Iount Main Street, and end the journey by the Waters of the Chesapeake: 196 Main Street- Annapolis Ice Cream Company, home of the penguins and the immense child's scoop. Hooray for an immense "child-sized" scoop of Apple Pie, Candy Cane and Cookie Dough Ice Cream for $1.251 Ok, so the Coffee flavor leaves something to be desired, but the other flavors are soooo good! Made fresh nearly every day, Annapolis Ice Cream Company is the only ice cream shop in Annapolis that does not mass produce its ice cream. The cake, pie, and cookie flavored ice creams are actual homemade pies tossed into an ice cream mixer filled with homemade vanilla ice cream. The ice cream is a little rich but luckily there's a water cooler by the door ~th cups, which is just what you need after creamy ice cream. It is also the only ice cream store in Annapolis that also offers Gevalia coffee and homemade hot chocolate; and if you're short on cash, they'll take your credit or debit card for anything more than a dollar. Next on our list, 165 Main Street- Chick & Ruth's Deli. Now, I know that this is not strictly an ice cream venue, but it's worth pointing out that they do serve ice cream quickly, though it is not very good, but that their milkshakes are enormous and are much better. Try an egg-cream sometime too, if you get a chance. On the same side of Main Street as the Ice Cream Co., there is a little hole in the wall called Main Street Ice Cream. Do not go tl1ere. The only thing it has going for it is that now you can also buy fried chicken at the same time as you buy their leaky, generic, economy sized goop. (EditorS Note: Main Street Ice Cream was one of the buildings damaged in the fire last Fridqy, . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and in all probabili!J it will 110t be reopeJtingftr awhile.) If you did not like your other options and want to stay on I\hin Street, your final option is Ben & Jerry's on 139 l'vfain Street. I\1:any a Johnnie has worked there over the years, which means nothing. It's amazing what people will do for money. Ben & Jerry's is a pleasant enough ice cream parlor, and is the only one that that offers a decent frozen yogurt or sorbet alternative to ice cream, although you will not get a price break from the shop's semi-expensive nature. An additional perk is their Free Cone Day; traditionally there will be at least one Johnnie tutorial that suckered their tutor into having class while in the line for a free scoop of the heavily creamed-and-sugared ice. At 130 Dock Street, you will probably run into a line that has gone out the door of the Storm Brother's Ice Cream Factory. Established in 197 6, the Factory website claims that it provides "a top quality product at 'neighbothood prices', not typical tourist prices." Well, maybe there's been some inflation since 1976. If you walk in there on any given day, you will probably be able to get a scoop of any one of their 35 flavors, which is nice, but some of the flavors are definitely more popular than others, which should make you suspicious of how old they are. Though some of the flavors are very adventurous (which often translates into not-so-great), try to avoid some of their traditional flavors as well, like the vanilla. A good example of a decent blend of new and old might be their ChocolateAlmond flavor. Taking our ice-cream circuit to its final destination, Aroma D'ltalia on 8 Dock St., I would like to say a word about the origins of gelato. Gelato, it should be pointed out first, is not Italian ice cream (ice cream does not have egg-yolks in its standard recipe). It is also not sorbet, since it is cream based. I tis a less firmly frozen, softer, more intensely flavored and colored creation than ice cream, served with a spatula and paid through the nose. Gelato is said to have been first created by Bernardo Buontalenti for the court of Francesco de' Medici in 1565. Italians eat gelato only in the summer months, and because of tills, Americans eat it all year round. Try it yourself; you might like it as you freeze your pants off by the dock. "!!r �------------~--~ Opinion: Papa Sam is Here to Help by Dan Rera The United States is sometimes considered a police force in the world, an economic and military imperial strength, a rogue state trying to corner the world's resources for the sake of a privileged few investors. However, this characterization is incomplete. There is an important aspect missing: the stern father figure, the patriarch. After all, what nation is more seasoned and experienced than the U.S.? We know how dangerous weapons of mass destruction are; we are both the discoverers of the nuclear bomb and the only nation who has ever used it. Our chemical and germ labs are always researching new chemicals for war purposes. We are one of two nations that still have the smallpox virus. The U.S. Army has a patent on processing ricin. These things in mind, it seems the U.S. would be the best judge concerning the dangers of weapons of mass destruction, and the nation most capable of recognizing threats. Besides, the United States didn't attack Iraq because it was afraid of possible threats. With about $430 billion spent each year on our military, the U.S. spends more than 30 times as much as the combined spending of Cuba, Iran, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Syria, and the Sudan. And it shows. We have the most sophisticated military strength in the world. Everyone remembers the war, although it was possible to have slept through it. With hardly any resistance at all, the U.S. toppled Iraq and declared victory. But this was just the beginning. This was the act of the father entering his teenager's room. Now it was time for the punishment. Like the father who forces his son to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes to keep him from smoking, the enlightened United States decided to teach Iraq about weapons of mass destruction the hard way, that is, by showing their dangerous effects first hand. How else will Iraq learn? Any parent knows that the best way for a child to learn is through experience. So what did we do? Like any good fatherly nation, we brought chemical weapons to Iraq and used them on the insurgents and civilians there. Two in particu- larwill be very effective at teaching this lesson: depleted uranium and white phosphorus. For those who perhaps didn't realize the United States was using chemical weapons in Iraq and/ or don't know anything about these two, I have some quick information. First and foremost, yes, we do use these weapons. Depleted uranium, or DU, is a radioactive byproduct from the creation of enriched uranium. To create 1 kg of enriched uranium, you need 11.8 kg of natural uranium. Once this 1 kg is separated from the 11.8 kg of natural uranium, there remains 10.8 kg of the "useless" byproduct, depleted uranium. Useless is in quotations because, while it won't help run a nuclear reactor, it does have another purpose. Next to DU, lead looks like butter. DU has a density close to tungsten, but unlike tungsten, it is extremely cheap, plentiful, and easy to cast. This made DU a prime candidate for bullet tip and armor production in the U.S. military. These advancements essentially create super-weapon.s, bullets that can pierce almost any armor, and armor that can stop almost any bullets. These DU weapons make combat ridiculously one-sided in the U.S.'s favor. DU emits low-level radiation over small distances. It is relatively harmless in this form. But ifDU ignites, it scatters and creates extremely toxic oxides. This dust can be carried for miles, and, once inhaled or ingested, it is impossible to get out of the body. Some believe this might have been one of the causes of "Gulf War Syndrome." But this is all part of the lesson. Here is how it works: The United States uses DU tipped munitions. The military uses these munitions to destroy tanks and other vehicles, spreading DU everywhere they strike. Because the war is taking place in a nation stricken with poverty, which is only aggravated by the anarchy that follows a toppled autocrat, Iraqis are doing everything in their power to make money. A very profitable enterprise is the collecting of scrap metal left behind from American attacks. Iraqis collect DU infected metal, sell it to industries which process it, and this toxic radioactive metal begins to show up in average Iraqi appli- ances and playgrounds. Iago couldn't have been more subtle. J\.faybe, now that Iraqi parents worry about the abnormally high percentage of anophthalmic children being born, they wont spend their time thinking about acquiring WMDs. White phosphorus is different. Not a nuclear weapon, this chemical weapon is used as an effective smoke screen allowing for the United States army to retreat in sticky situations. Oh, did I forget to mention that if inhaled it burns people to death from the inside out? White phosphorus reacts to water in just about any form. If you wandered into a cloud of it, all that would remain would be your clothes and your bones. This phenomenon made it very difficult for the U.S. military to pretend this wasn't the reason all sorts of perfectly-clothed burned corpses kept showing up. At first, the original Pentagon line was that the images of these strange bodies, shown by the Italian station Rai News 24, were from roadside bombs. But the clothes were entirely intact, which is extremely unusual. Naturally, the U.S. denied that white phosphorus was involved in any way. The March edition of the Army's Official Field Artillery magazine detailed the use of white phosphorus in Fallujah, and when a non-mainstream press group (www.dailykos.com) got its hands on this information, the Pentagon was forced to change its official position regarding the use of white phosphorus on enemy combatants. All this teaches a very important lesson to the Iraqi population. You aren't allowed to have chemical weapons. Only we are, and it is because we know how to use them properly. Iraqis would probably try to use these weapons hostilely against other nations for no good reason or, even worse, for self-interest. They would get an inflated sense of power and dominion. They would ignore international laws and the Geneva convention resolutions. It would be terrible. The only way to show them the error of their ways is to demonstrate these horrors to them first hand and hope they will learn that weapons of these type only cause problems; they never fix them. '1r' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P. 0. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 DATE DUE I Athletes of th, Johnnie Quotes of the Week : Mr. M: "You can't blackmail me!" : Ms. H: "Who said anything about : blackmail? This is for my own per: sonal enjoyment." : Mr. K: "What's so bad about evil, : anyway?" . . : Mr. S: "You know, it may well happen : : that people in the future will look : back and see that the decline of . . : western civilization began with [Ms. J] : Mr. Rosseter .------ - - - - - - - -- - - - - -- -- -------, : saying, 'I was bored."' You Make the Call: : Mr. D: "A point is that which has no A basketball player takes a shot, and the ball bounces off the top of the : part, and Euclid is that which has no backboard, and then passes through the basket. According to NCAA rules, : point." Is this a legal field goal? First one to me with the correct answer goes to the bookstore on me. You may leave your answer on my voicemail, x2558. : Mr. K: "Are Eucliding me?" 0 • ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ : ~M:'Db~Icanthi~~awey~ : : settling this disagreement." : Mr. C: "A crusade!" : Mr. M: "Okay, I can think of two : ways of settling this disagreement." Subscribe! It's not too late to subscribe to the Gadfly SecondSemesterfor on!J $15I Send requests to: : Ms. H: "You know, not eve1y funny : thing I say has to be published in the : Gadfly. Yes it does I Share your favorite Johnnie outtakes with the Gadfly - write to us I?J Campus Mai~ or wn"te to . . : sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. : The Gadfly St. John's College POBox2800 Annapolis) MD 21401 L-----------------------~ 8 • 0 0 THE G A DFLY 0 •• 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 . ... 0 0 ••• •••••••••• • 0 •••• • •••••••••••• 0 0 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) McClay, Mark F. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 11 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-11-29 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 11 of The Gadfly. Published November 29, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.11 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/26869eb918319c5e943f59263b4d7741.pdf 9b633c2e2bb1a7395770dc89b6b16126 PDF Text Text GADFLY The St.john~ College Student 117eekfy Volume XXVII, Issue 12 Annapolis, Maryland D"rmber 8, 2005 A Letter from the SCI Dear Polity, never heard of. I smile and say, "Take a truffle, and savor its chocolaty goodness[" They smile back sadly, tell me that their ulcer does not allow them to eat chocolate, and go back to work. In conclusion, do not go into investment banking.) I narrate the Church pageant which is absurd, because I am an atheist, and they know I'm an atheist, but apparently we're both able to overlook that fact, perhaps because we both like the way I get all misty eyed on the "all the armies that ever marched and all the navies that ever sailed don't compare with that one solitary life" speech. So I have quite a lot of Christmas traditions that I like. But by far my favorite is creeping down to the wine cellar on midnight of Christmas Eve to watch The Lion in JVinter. The creeping down to the On behalf of the Student Committee on Instruction, we would like to offer a brief introduction and overview of what we see as our purpose and the means by which we are attempting to achieve that purpose. We realize that in the past the SCI has been minimally visible to the student body, and when visible not appearing especially interesting or worthwhile. In addition, the SCI's relation to the Committee on Instruction, composed of several tutors and the Dean, has not been as affective or helpful as it could have been. Essentially, we have somehow inherited a tradition of presenting ourselves as far too serious and austere, while not really doing anything significant to improve the academic experience of the student. We are hoping to change this year. We are hoping to make the Committee as open and useful to the Polity as it was originally intended to be. That having been said, the stated (i.e. chartered) purpose of the SCI is to "provide a forum for discussion of academic and related matters." We've interpreted 'related' rather loosely this semester in order to pursue some question that we believe are of serious concern and interest to the polity. We have spent some time and energy discussing the handbook, the disciplinary process and the community in general. However our primary focus is and ought to be the academic and classroom experience. At times, we all struggle with the actualization of the St. John's ideal. We are frustrated while desperately trying to find a way to make each and every class as brilliant and full of won- Who's Afraid continued on page 5 SCI continued on page 3 The Lion in Winter: Who's Afraid of Eleanor of Aquitaine? by Jennifer Wright Staff Writer I have certain traditions I like to uphold during the Christmas season. I make pecan pie. I lay out the San tons. I hang my favorite pink sparkly tree ornament prominently in the middle of the tree, and surround it with whopping great clumps of tinsel so that it will be the first thing anyone sees on the tree. I am a truffle elf, and run around my father's workplace distributing bags of chocolate truffles to all the employees who are working on Christmas Eve (this used to be more successful than it is now. When I was five the employees used to pat me on the head and tell me I was doing a really good job of being a truffle elf. Now they look at me with big, sad, frightened eyes, like baby cows, and tell me to tell my father not to fire them because they did something regarding the economy of some country I've �THE ...--GADFLY The Editors/ Page Editors Shoshana Goldstcin Mark F. McCby Christopher B. Utter Aaron B. Roberts Photographers Clark Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Erica Beall DanRera Daniel Schwartz Schyler Sturm Chris Utter Paul Wilford Jennifer Wright NicZakheim At the end of this academic year, the St. John's College Film Society will be in need of a new archon. If you would like to be considered for the position, please submit to me in campus mail a list of films (around 10) you'd choose for one semester. Stacey Goguen Robert Hurst Chase McPeak Aaron Brager SJC Fihn Society Archon Annual O:xfam Fast a Success I want to thank everyone who participated in the Oxfam Fast for a World Harvest this Founded in 1980, the Gar!ffy is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinion:;:; expressed within arc the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not ncccssarilly represent the opinions of the Gadf!y staff. The Gadf!J' reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. I .etters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Garfib' is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are b>ready preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. past month. This is the fifteenth consecutive year the fast has been held at the Annapolis campus. Tills year we have roughly equaled many of our previous years' records: 159 students and 14 faculty and staff members participated, skipping 393 meals and donating $770 in cash, in addition to the meal plan money. This is a very large proportion of the total student population on the meal plan, compared to the many other colleges and universities at which Oxfam fasts are held. Exact figures are not yet available, but the total sum raised for Oxfam America will be in excess of $1000. Special thanks should go to Carole Clark, Bud Billups, and the staff at the Treasurer's Office; to Roosevelt Langley, Nancy :Mitchell, Gail Day and the staff at Parkhmst; to Chris Colby, who donated the printing cost for the forms; and to Anna Dirkse, Simon Gershman, Charles Hamm, and Sam Jones, who volunteered their time. Jonathan Tuck Tutor Greenfield Library Call-In I riformation: Call-In is scheduled for the week of December 5-12, 2005. All items that you have checked out must be returned during this week. In order to avoid long lines, we en- 2 courage you to return items before December 12th. Any item not returned by 7:30P.M. on December 12th will be assessed a $10 late fee. A week-long Call-In allows each student the flexibility of a "personal" Call-In sometime during the week. You may return your books at anytime during the week, but the December 12th due date is final. Renewals: Leo Pickens lvfichael Croker Liz Curry Alicia Elkins Erikk Geannikis Needed: Film Society Archon THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . - . . . Returning Students: Returning students will be permitted to renew up to three books beginning December 5th. provided that the following conditions are met: 1) you have returned all library materials you have borrowed, and 2) you haye paid any overdue or lost charges. Students remaining for the spring semester can check out as many books as they want after December 12th. Graduating, Transferring, and Non-returning Students: Students not returning to the College can checkout or renew up to three books beginning December 5th, provided that the following conditions are met: 1) you have returned all library materials you have borrowed, and 2) you have paid any overdue or lost charges. Any books that are checked out or renewed by non-returning students once Call-In has begun must be returned before Friday December 17th by 9:00A.M. Please note that the library charges overdue fines for late returns ($10 for each overdue item), and even larger penalties for items that are lost. Do not hesitate to ask if you have returned all borrowed items, or if you have any outstanding fmes. Returns must be made directly to the circulation desk. Do not attempt to return your books through campus mail. Do not get someone else to return your books for youthe responsibility will be yours if your friend doesn't follow through! If you have any questions, please stop by the Library and ask to speak with Lauren Kopajtic, Circulation 1-fanager. Greenfield Library Staff �Corrections, Apologies, etc. Tutor emeritus Eliott Zuckerman was not credited in last week's article on ?l-Is. Allanbrook's lecture. Mr. Zuckerman played all the musical examples during the course of the lecture, and was a lively participant in the question period. A warm thank-yo u to all the generous, altruistic souls who took the time to run through the Editor's letter last week with fine-tooth grammatical combs. As a consequence of several grammatical mistakes (no fewer than three, by conservative estimates), the Gadf!J has received all sorts of interesting feedback, ranging from kind offers to assist with copy-editing, to less-kind calls for Mr. McClay's severed head. Since this campus is apparently swarming with vigilante copy editors, we repeat our invitation to come help us here at the Gadf(y. In addition to the pleasure of correcting the bad grammar of otl1ers, you will have the added satisfaction of preventing such bad English from appearing in print in the first place. In the meantime, Mr. McClay would like to assure everyone that his heart is in the right place, even when his subjects and predicates are not. The Editors Subscribe to the Gadfly Second S emesterfor onfy $15! Send requests to: The Gadfly S t Johns Co/lege PO Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21401 SCI continued from front page der as possible. Sometimes we do indeed get it right; sometimes we get unbelievably lucky. Everyone ha s experienced that class where it seemed as though wisdom itself had a chair at the table. This sort of class though doesn't happen every day. It seems fitting to hold it as the ideal, to be constantly struggling to have amazing, astonishingly enlightening classes, but, it turns out, conversation is hard. Having accepted that those perfect classes are rare and far too intangible to have a set formula for bringing them about, the question for the SCI becomes, "why, and in what specific ways is class not always that ideal?" and secondarily, "what might we do to get closer to that ideal?" The committee views itself as a vehicle for a sort of collective selfexamination. The school seems to foster this critical self-examination in its students. The committee exists for the school to do this at large, to give itself a Don Rag. It seems not only integral to the St. John's experience to be curious and critical of the program, but also integral to our experience as students learning together, pursuing in common this idea of liberal education. Hence, the SCI meetings, which are Thursday in ilie Private Dining Room, are meant primarily to be open discussions, conversations about the way we are and the way we ought to be. The committee exists first and foremost to ensure that this conversation is always available at least once a week for anyone who's interested. To give you a more specific idea of what this conversation has entailed in the past, discussion has ranged from the classroom status of "quiet studen ts," to the role o f faith in the classroom, to taboos like gender differences in class participation, and sometimes the specific content of certain manuals and program segments. But the point is that the conversation ought to be primarily concerned with community and communal learning. So, please feel free to contact your class reps (as listed below), or show up for the m ee tings and make your thoughts known. Let us know how we can best serve you. Erica Beall and Paul Wilford Liz Curry Chris Utter, Erikk Geannikis (Seniors) Michael Croker, Robert Hurst auniors) Alicia E lkins, Stacey Goguen (Sophomores) SCI Minutes by Liz Curry Members present: Beall, Wilford, Elkins, Goguen, Utter, Hurst, Croker, ?lis. Enns (Sophomore), Ms. Owens (G.I.), and Mr. Ferbrache (Senior/ Orthodox Christian Study Group Archon). Lecture survey results were discussed, primarily Ms. Goguen's. They will be compiled and a report will be made to the Dean. Ms. Beall informed the Committee of the Dean's request that the SCI gi.ve up its All-College Set11inar spot n~1: semester in order to accommodate a lecture by an alumna who has written several plays. Some alternatives suggested were that the SCI hold a pre-lecture set11inar on d1e subject ofthe lecture, or that there be some od1er date set aside for the seminar. TI1e Committee agreed d1at more information is needed about the nature of the lecture and lecturer before a decision can be made, particularlyconcemingwbatthe piece used fora pre-lecture seminar should be. Ms. Beall will refer the questions of ilie Committee to the Dean. The Director of the Graduate Institute's request for undergraduate students to lead d1e Graduate Institutes' Spring semester orientation seminars on fue Meno was discussed. The Ord1odox Christian Study Group's funding request of$50 was granted Ms. Enns raised a concern about class dynamics in Sophomore Music. In general, her question was: how should we integrate the situation that d1ere ru:e some students very familiar wid1 the languages of music and mafu (specifically calculus) wid1 the notion of everyone starting from square one? In what ways is leamingmusic and math (specifically the calculus) analogous to leaminga language such as Greek? ivir. Hurst pointed out iliat in a way the mailiematical and musical languages cannot be fully translated into everyday English. I tis thereforeimperative d1at one learn lhe details of d1eir languages and be comfortable wifu their idioms. There will inevitably be people in these classes who are simply more technically proficient in d1ese languages. This only becomes a problem when iliese students assrune d1at all questions C.'UJ. be answered merely by reference to d1e technical cause. There will also be questions that will require a technical account before a philosophical one. TI1e philosophical questions will always retu~n, however, and are in the end primary. :Mr. Wtlford suggested d1at a date be set to discuss music more. Ne.'l.1: semester a meeting will be devoted to dlis subject TI1e agenda for next week will be anod1er look at Minority Recruitment. TI1e Student Committee on Instruction meets 1b.ursdays at 11:45 a.m. in fue Private Dining Room. All members of d1e polity are encouraged to attend. 'lr . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY 3 �Point Counter Point: Patches on Coats? Point: Leather Patches on New Tweed Coats are Stupid by Schuyler Sturm I t is a fact commonly held by a great number of people that in life, in order to save time, you must pick your battles well. Additionally, it is a commonly held factoid tl1at ilie iliings people tend to care ilie most about are ilie things which matters the least. Having said that I am writing this article to talk abou t a matter on which I feel strongly, but also something which is absolutely frivolous" namely, the use ofleather elbow patches on brand new tweed coats. Honestly, what is tl1e point? T11e coat is new. It doesn't have holes in the elbows. It doesn't need patches. Even more, it doesn't deserve patches. Those leailier elbow patches are a badge ofhonor which ancient and revered coats earn after years of honest service and sacrifice. To let iliese neonates parade around as if they deserve tl1at sort of respect only cheapens ilie symbol. 11-tis sort of thing is indicative o f a general trend of cheapening which has led to such hateful things as grade inflation, ilie trivilialization of Christmas by commercials and gift giving, and ilie knighthood of Elton John. O ne nught make tl1e argument t11at patches are a preventative measure, but ilie only iliing tl1at iliey prevent is ilie formation of holes in ilie elbows of the coat, which would lead to leailier patches anyway. I may not be up on my logic, but it seems iliat if ilie point of sometl-ting is to prevent itself from being necessary, ilien it is performing an altogether superfluous function. The argument might also be made iliat they don't need to be necessary iliat they are sinlply pleasant to look at. This is patently untrue. The only reason iliat leailier patches look nice is iliat iliey stereo typically belong to the profess011al class, and that represen ts a sort of prestige. Again, the entire concept is destroyed when they become more commonplace and are no longer the result of some amount of time and wear. When E lton John becomes a knight, what does knighiliood mean? Think iliat over, and, I inlplore you to leave ilie leather patches to coats tl1at need tl1etn, and so to avoid ilie danger of pretension. 4 St. Johns and appreciate ilie splendor and ilie m ajesty o f ti1e platypus!" But tl1at is, in my mind at least, a rad1er base function of clothing- it evaluates clothing only from an aniliropological perspective, i.e. clotl-ting as tribal totetns indicating our place in society. While people who obsess over clothing know that iliere's so much more to it! Ifit were only to show who we were in life tl1en clothing would be merely a matter of by Jennifer Wright I tis a fact commonly held by a great nUOlber uniforms, color coded to represent varying proof people (me) tl1at ilie best point-counterpoint fessions. Clo thing displays not who we are but ever ran in a 1992 issue of British Vogue be- who we wish we were (I'd also like to point out tween Karl Lagerfeld and anoilier lesser female d1at Lagerfeld adamantly agrees wiili me on this designer whose name now escapes me. The topic point, and surely, no one would want to tangle was wheilier or not ruffles were over, and this wiili 1 -tim. Unless iliey are a stupid-head.) When woman wrote a very well researched point on I'm feeling particularly doe-eyed, I'll slip on a how ruffles were, indeed, over. She cited ilie fis- black dress and pair of oversized sunglasses, cal issues and ilie end of decadent 80's, ilie resur- because I feel like charu1eling Audrey Hepburn. gence ofroininlalism, and recent publishing and The thirteen year old wearing lots of black and · popularity of Backlash by Susan Faludi which chains is trying to show you that he's a countermeant that no one vaguely aligned wiili ilie femi- culture rebel and a forced to be feared not benist movement was in tl1e market for ruffles. cause tl1at's who he is - it's generally not- but The entirety of Mr. Lagerfeld's counterpoint ran: because it represents d1e platonic ideal of ilie '~!adam, I like ruffles and you are a stupid-head." person tl1ey wish iliey were, not necessarily in ("stupid head" is actually just going to be a sub- profession (no one who is not a firefighter goes stitute for the much more insulting thing he arow1d wearing a firefighter uniform, pemaps actually wrote, which would not be published in because people would take it as a sign iliat iliat this paper, and which I should blush to repeat). person was actually equipped to help ilietn fight It was unanimously decided by ilie editors tl1at a fire, which iliey would not be) but in spirit. We ?llr. Lagerfeld had won iliat point as he obvi- dress, and we choose what we wear carefully to represent ilie fluctuations in our mood and to ously cared more. I am not going to say that - first, because I emulate groups or individuals whose traits we have d1e utmost respect for Mr. Sturm's intellect; wish to associate wiili ourselves. And iliat's more or less tl1e case \viili tweed and second, because calling llinl ''Madam" would jackets wiili leailier arm patches. The person who simply confuse people. However, I will attempt to offer one concise response to Mr. Sturm's dec- wears iliem may not actually be an Oxford prolaration that leailier ann patches on tweed jackets fessor, but wishes to show ilie world iliat iliey are pretentious and that response is ti-tis: ''Dude, like Plato and spires and gargoyles and overstuffed armchairs, and oilier things iliat Oxford profesyou're already wearing a tweed jacket." You didn't go out and buy ti1at jacket at- sors like. You might say iliat tlus person is m ore tempting to come o ff as a low key, fly by ilie seat or less attempting to don a fire fighter's uniof Ius pants kind of guy. If iliat were ilie case form, as d1ey are adopting gear iliat connotes you would just have grabbed whatever clothing functions iliat iliey would not be able to fulfill. was cheapest and fit you and tluown it on. You However, no one actually expects anything as bought tl1at jacket becau~e you wanted to chan- specific from an Oxford professor as iliey do from a fireman. No one's life is at risk because nel an Oxford professor. And iliat's fine! Generally, people who really cru:e about doilies som eone who was not a professor attetnpted to -and I imagine that men or women who invest spiritually channel one. And, if ti1e person weara great deal of ilieir time into finding beautiful ing a tweed jacket \viili leailier arm patcl1es were tweed coats wiili patches do- understand iliat suddenly called upon to recite a little Blake, ilie ilie point of clothing is not just to e."press who person wearing that jacket is probably ilie kind you are. It can serve iliat function, certainly. A of person who would actually be able to do so. studet1t wearing a St. John's sweatshirt and runAs for tl1eir losing tlus spiritual value due to bling about wiili a stuffed platypus on ilieir too many people wearing tweed jackets 'vitl1arm shoulder proudly declares to tl1e world, "I go to patches- but iliat it were so! If tl1ere was gener- Counterpoint: Leather Patches on Tweed Coats are) In Fact, Absolute!J Brilliant . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �ally the rampant bevy of jackets ·wid1 patches that Mr. Sturm seems to suggest, it would indicate that people want to be stodgy and sit arOund reading Dante and sipping brandy and talking about medieval chants in well modulated voices. In such a world, the Johnny would be Iring! However, we do not live in such a world..And not that rrumy people prize stuffy academia. Which is perhaps why you see more people in T-Shirts or button down shirts than you ever - ever - do in tweed jackets, let alone tweed jackets with patches. It's only people with intellectual leanings, or at least intense appreciation of people with intellection leanings, who choose to wear those jackets. And are the patches themselves rather useless? Well, yes, they are. But the nicest things in the world are generally the most useless - peacocks and lilies, for instMce, as I think John Ruskin pointed out. Besides, a tie is equally useless, and every well dressed man probably has one or two of those lying around. The point of clothing is cetta.inly not simply to be utilitarian. If it were, ties would not exist. So don't fear being pretentious if you want to go out and buy a tweed jacket with leather arm patches. It may be a little pretentious, but then, it's the nature of clothing to be a little pretentious. And beyond all that, I like arm patches. I like them, and people who do not may just be stupid-headed. "'r Who's Afraid continued from front page wine cellar thing originated because I wanted to watch the movie when I was ten and figured that since .it was about .incest and patricide and adultery my parents might be disinclined to let me see it. So I hid and watched it on the portable T.V. in the wine cellar, which I figured was the most secluded place in the house. I have no idea why I'm still watching it hiding in the wine cellar. :rviaybe it makes me feel more like I'm living in the twelfth century, when all the characters are living. Maybe it's to mimic a particular scene out of the movie. 1hybe I just really like the mildew. But, whatever the reason, The Lioll i11 JWi11ter is my Christmas movie. It's the only one I really love. I've never bought A Christmas Carol (I've never bought most of Dickens, honestly), as I don't think that one night of bad dreams changes the course of anyone's life. I find 1\-iiracle on 34th Street weirdly contrived, and I firmly believe that Santa is not supposed to be your real estate agent. And It's a \Vander- ful Life scares the hell out of me. Think about it - Clarence the Angel makes a very good case for how everyone's life would have been worse if George Bailey had never been born. However, he never even touches upon the question at hand, which is whether or not everyone's life would be better if George Bailey jumped off the bridge and they were left with the insurance money rather than the bitter, disenchanted wreck that George has become. Since Clarence evades the question entirely, I can only assume that this is the case, and that terrifies me. There's nothing saccharine or superficial or anything that constitutes a huge gaping plot hole in The Lio11 iN Wi11ter. It's so smart, and so cutting and so dark. Which is why I'm so excited that the King William Players are staging .it on December 9th and 10th. You all really must go see it, it's brilliant. It has always struck me as being a 12th century version of \'V'ho's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? It revolves around Eleanor of Aquita.ine and King Henry II, who have met for Christmas (Eleanor is kept in captivity for the rest of the year) to try to decide which of their sons will be King. Eleanor favors, the eldest, Richard, seemingly for his battle prowess and force of will (also for other reasons that are revealed later) and Henry favors John for, well, for reasons that I suspect are known only to Henry. \'\/hile everyone else is tossing off verbal barbs John's idea of witty repartee is "you stinker! You're a stinker and you stink!" - which never fails to make me laugh. My personal sympathies have always lain with Geoffrey, the middle son, who is busy trying to find a way to "sell everyone to everyone else." In this piece you have all the themes of familial dysfunction- the frustrations of the eldest child, the feelings of neglect triggered in the middle one, the eccentricities of the overindulged youngest, and the bitterness and wistfulness of a couple who did truly love each other- once- and perhaps, in their way, still very much do. And all of it is written with breathtakingly witty verbal pyrotechnics. I love the dialogue - and I love the .interplay between Henry and Eleanor, because they are perfectly matched opponents. But more than them, I love the character of Eleanor. Oh, God, I love Eleanor! I love her because she's brilliant, and unbelievably articulate, and so conscious of exactly what she wants, and because she's so angry. She just has this divine rage about her that's born out of all this pain. It's rather understandable too. The hate that's born out of love must be by necessity greater than any other kind as it has so much more emotion to feed itself upon. And besides, she's been locked up in a tower for ten years, and had time to absolutely perfect her hatred before setting it loose on the world. And she's honest about that anger in a way I don't think many people are able to be. I feel like if Eleanor were out on a date after Henry left her, and her date asked her about her relationship with Henry, she wouldn't do the reflexively pleasant thing and talk about how nice he was. She'd talk about how she plans to wage a war against him to rule England (she does, indeed, do this.) She's not nice, Eleanor, but she is honest, and she's utterly unencumbered by scruples. There's one scene where Henry expresses his desire to produce a new heir with his mistress Alais, and Eleanor replies that if he does, Richard will kill it. Henry is taken aback and replies, "You wouldn't let him do a thing like that." And Eleanor replies absolutely casually, "Let him? Why, I'd push him through the nursery door." And yet, there are moments where she's absolutely tender. You can always see how much pain she's in and it seems like there's almost no hope that all the pain and anger in her can subside. And yet- in the end? In the end, love triumphs. That's the best part, for me. Even with all the pain and all the rage, and even acknowledging that life can be very dark, love still wins. Not in the obvious fully resolved way it wins in It'J a I.Vondeifullift or A Christmas Carol, but still unmistakably so. I shan't reveal any details about how it does, but it's a very, very good ending. And .it's a very, very good play, and movie. \X'ho knows? Perhaps after see1.11g the play, you'll be inspired to make it a holiday tradition yourself. '!lr' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �One Month After Freshman Meeting, Few Changes by Aaron Roberts co-Editor-in -Chief Every academic fall, the President, Dean, and Assistant Dean meet with all four classes of students to discuss fueir concerns. The fresh man conversation with the Dean generally begets the greatest number of students, as was the case this year; the senior meeting had an attendance of three. This year's meeting for freshmen was held lVIonday, October 24'" in Mellon Hall's Conversation Room. A little more than a month later, it appears to have precipitated substantial changes, particularly in on-campus health care. Aside from standard freshman concerns about Don Rags, Orals, and how to write papers, students also inquired about issues relevant to the polity as a whole, including such topics as the absence of paper towels in dormitory bathrooms, campus health care, and Parkhurst Dining Services' quality-to-cost ratio. The absence of paper towels in dormitory bathrooms and Paillmrst remain relevant topics to the polity. As for the paper towels, "The main reason we don't provide them in dorm bathrooms is the cost, plus the assumption that students have tl1eir own towels and don't need them.... [T)hey also end up in toilets," Assistant Dean, Ms. Judith Seeger, explained. Although unaware of the precise date, Ms. Seeger also added that a student meeting would be held in response to frustrations 'vith dining hall policy, cuisine, and the meal plan, noting that, "They are aware of the need". Those meetings will likely occur before tlte end of the semester. Conversation about campus healfu care dominated the meeting. Administrators in attendance appeared to be caught slightly offguard by what appeared to be a pervasive dissatisfaction \vith campus health care availability. Willi visible exasperation, students remarked that a visit to the Nurse often resulted in a 1 - 1 1 hour wait, and that the wait was /2 wholly unpredictable. However, of greatest concern was the availability of fue Nurse Practitioner, Ms. Nancy Calabrese. For better or for worse, modem medicine appears to be one that is addressed in a chiefly pharmacological manner. Diagnosing illnesssomething which an RN may be trained to do-brings with it no short or long term re- 6 lief, but only peace of mind or increased anxiety. Also, students added, medications needed urgently (e.g., "morning-after" pill, antibiotics, etc.) appeared to be either unavailable to students on all days of the week, or might result in a multiple hour fiasco of visit and return visit on days that the RN was the only Health Care practitioner available. Students in attendance also vented frustration over having once or multiple times visited t!1e RN only be to be told to return the next day to see the Nurse Practitioner. Students asked why information concerning the Nurse Practitioner's availability was not readily available to them. Those students acquainted wifu the hours of the Nurse Practitioner remarked tl1at even the unpublished "regular" schedule for tl1e Nurse Practitioner was not always correct. Some asked whether it might be more effective to schedule appointments rather than form a queue. In response to freshman concerns, certain changes have since been made to campus Health Care. As before, tl1ere will be a Nurse Practitioner available in the health center three days a week. Her hours and availability will be posted on tl1e door of tlte Harrison Health Center and amended when changes are made. In the case of emergencies, tl1ere is a Nurse Practitioner on-call, and a nurse available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week while classes are in regular session.l\Iomi.ng-after contraception is available in the Health Center, in addition to free samples of various other medications. Furthermore, the State of Maryland Department of Health has provided certain written protocols according to which the RN may dispense particular types of medications for "routine, well-defined assessments." Early morning appointments (i.e., 9:00am) are available to female students for OB-GYN related testing and procedures. The College is working to change those things that are within its. power and resources, and all suggestions 'vill be considered, but a major overhaul of campus healtl1 care is not currently being discussed in any significant way. "I found this year's freshman meeting very useful," remarked Assistant Dean, Ms. Judith Seeger. Though it is unlikely that recent changes to campus Health Care will satisfy all grievances, efforts are being made, and tl1e dialogue between students and administration has been profitable, as Ms. Seeger remarked, 'We are constantly evaluating the organization of the Health Center, and we always take student input into account as far as we possibly can. Recent changes have been responses to such input. So people should let me know if there are tllings that need to be worked on. We can't address every need to everyone's satisfaction, but we have made changes where we could, and will continue to do so where we can." Additionally, Ms. Seeger suggests that rather than runlinating over their grievances with friends, students ought to consider directing grievances to tl1e Assistant Dean's office; in the absence of complaints, it is the Assistant Dean's office's assumption that things are running smoothly. '1r . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Are you tired of seeing large-type space fillers in the Gadfly? Come help us out! Needed: Layers-out copyeditors, photo-editors Planning Meetings: Tuesdays at 5:00 Layout Session: Sunday at 1:00 Both at BBC 110 �Opinion (?): Opinions are Stupid by Dan Rera Staff Writer I was perplexed last week when I picked up a copy of the Gadfly and found the title of my article preceded by the qualification, "Opinion:" This struck me as odd for two reasons. First of all, the article was based entirely on facts. I will admit I presented these facts in a wry and satirical way, but it was all true. lvforeover, several people approached me to convey their appreciation for writing an article they found informative. But maybe this is a matter of taste; maybe one man's facts are another man's opinions. And secondly, isn't everything in the Gadfly opinion, with perhaps the exception of the sports page? I am quite sure that 1-Is. Wright's feelings about proper hobo etiquette and the value of hugs do not qualify as investigative journalism. Either way, I have decided to take what I was planning to write this week and divide it into separate sections, facts and opinions. I hope doing this will avoid confusion. Opinion: George Bush II and those who work in his administration are imperialists. They seek to control, militarily and economically, other parts of the world for the sake of U.S. hegemony. Fact: During the 2000 presidential debates, Bush wanted to separate his views from those of his opponent. He provided a contrast by stating definitively, "He (Gore) believes in nation-building. I would be very careful about using our troops as nationbuilders." Bush continued to drive this point home in the next debate. He said, with reference to Somalia, "(It) started off as a humanitarian mission and it changed into a nation-building mission, and that's where the mission went wrong. The mission was changed. And as a result, our nation paid a price. And so I don't think our troops ought to be used for what's called nation-building." Opinion: I can't understand why Bush would say these things, unless he is simply lying during these debates. Iraq is the clearest evidence that contradicts Bush's claim. One might object, "Well, September 11th changed everything. The U.S. needed to adopt a new foreign strategy." Tills point is well understood, and most Americans are being constantly reminded of it by the administration. This awould seem to exempt Bush from charges oflying, but there is more to the story. Fact: The Project fortheNew American Century was founded in 1997. PNAC is a neoconservative think tank. Members include: Jeb Bush, Dick Cheney, Richard Armitage, Lewis Libby, Zrumay Khalilzad, Donald Rnmsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz,John Bolton and many other people in the Bush administration. In September 2000, PNAC published a report entitled: "Rebuilding America's Defenses." Among the core missions laid out for the U.S. :Military, one is to, "Fight and decisively win multiple, simultaneous major theaterwars." Another is to, ''Perform the 'constabulary' duties associated with shaping the security environment in critical regions.'' The document states the need to permanently allocate U.S. armed forces overseas. It a1so recognizes that the transition to this radical state of affairs would be slow unless there was some event that could speed it up. "The process of transformation, even if it brings revolutionary change, is likely to be a long one, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event -like a new Pearl Harbor." Opinion: So even though Bush is against nation-building, he appointed a super-team of people who strongly advocate U.S. global supremacy, individuals who had wanted to overthrow Saddam Hussein since the founding ofPNAC. Keep in mind, the argument defending Bush's change of heart regarding nation-building was that September 11th changed everything. It is easy to see from these statements in "Rebuilding America's Defenses," the only thing that September 11th changed was the rate at which the United States, through Bush's administration, would establish a fascist "Pax Americana" with a forceful military presence everywhere. Fact: After September 11th, the administration published the "National Security Strategy of the United States of America." It explained that the United States were going to, "destroy terrorist organizations of global reach and attack their leadership." To do this, the document said, it would be justified to preemptively strike. ''America will act against emerging threats before they are fully formed." Opinion: This document was a thinly veiled manifestation of PNAC ideology. What is a threat? Anti~ American sentiment? One could find that in any country in the world. Iraq made it clear that there doesn't even need to be an actual threat. ~lore and more evidence suggests that there was information in the president's daily briefing that was not relayed to congress. Fact: It has recently been reported in the National Journal that, on September 21st, 2001, ten days after the AI Qaeda attacks, "President Bush was told in a highly classified briefing that the U.S. intelligence community had no evidence linking the Iraqi regime of Saddam Hussein to the attacks and that there was scant credible evidence that Iraq had any significant collaborative ties with AI Qaeda, according to government records and current and former officials with firsthand knowledge of the matter." And, "a comparison of public statements by the president, the vice president, and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld show that in the days just before a congressional vote authorizing war, they professed to have been given information from U.S. intelligence assessments showing evidence of an Iraq~ AI Qaeda link." Opinion: Americans ought to be in~ formed about the ideologies and ambitions of this administration. The issue is not whether or not the United States ought to be an empire; it's that the U.S. isn't being honest with itself concerning its motives. It seems difficult to understand how the U.S. could even be a democracy, considering the elected leaders do not have the same goals as the majority. However, there is one thing Americans can see clearly. Nation-building isn't as easy as the neoconservatives thought it would be. Regardless, we could now safely say... Fact: George Bush II and those who work in his administration are imperialists. They seek to control, militarily and economically, other parts of the world for the sake of U.S. hegemony. tJr . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GIIDFLY . 7 �Hating the Holidays by Chase McPeak The Holiday season has reared its garishly festooned and multi-colored head. I can't help but cringe and suppress a shudder every time I read the words, "Season's Greetings." It is unfathomable to me as to how any self-respecting, self-loving person could display feelings of warmth and happiness during this season when decadence and self-indulgence run rampant under the guise tills whole fiasco could have been averted had she just taken off her brashly crocheted Holiday sweater complete witi1 a monstrous scene of children caroling, she will become quick-tempered, leave ti1e house, and end up slipping on the icy sidewalk and breaking her osteoporosis riddled lllp. TI1en of course, during dinner, Great-Grandma Eunice will complain that the noodles smell as if they were boiled in opossum broth and refuse to eat another bite all the of faith and giving. To what effect does marring a cozy little house with hundreds of brightly hued twinkle lights bring? Does one really need those six inflatable reindeer, the plastic light-up Santa attached precariously to the roof with staples, the ho- ~rrrn Qhristmas ~ lograph emitting machines with kitschy sayings and horrendous graphics, and the lone enormous ~lenorah (placed carefully in the farthest corner of the yard so as to evoke a sense of openness with other religions while slyly making the statement that one is emphatically not of"those people")? Can one possibly show the love of their religion with a simple strand of white lights and a lush wreath on the door? Is it necessary to have a sixty foot coniferous tree ornamented with Christmas bulbs the size of Texas and a star bigger than your little sister Cindy (for an example briefly glance across College Avenue)? The Holidays are not a situation in which the old adage "what's bigger is better" applies. In addition to the wonderful di:cor which deck the halls and induce seizure-like states, the issue with family bonding needs to be addressed. Invariably whether one is Jewish, Christian, or of another faith that celebrates, over the season one will have to spend "quality'' time with familial relations. During these family get-togethers, it is more than likely that Aunt Brenda will complain the house is drafty and blast d1.e furnace which will cause poor Great Uncle Henry to expire from heat stroke. After calmly explaining to Aunt Brenda d1at 8 gifted with a potentially poisonous decadeold dessert. As for tone-deaf carolers, three words: Snow. Ball. Barrage. Of course, there is also the sheer length of the Holiday Season. It stretches from mid-November until New Year's Day-a month and a half of being bombarded with ornaments, stars, candles, aged relatives, fat men dressed as elves, long lines at both the mall and the airport, and the ever-present single person with enough Christmas Cheer to stuff twenty Kris Kringles. It seems that if people would stop focusing all d1eir faculties towards crecr ating a picture perfect holi~ day only seen in Norman ~ Rockwell prints and allow _. themselves to relax and enjoy the company of their family, the Holiday Season would be less stressful and altogether more easily swallowed by everyone involved. ~-fy idea of a perfect Holiday is one in which friends and family join together in a wood-paneled room somewhere in the New Hampshire countryside, sit in wing-backed, leather armchairs, light the Yule Log, light the Menorah, light a cigar and partake in peaceful conversation while sipping brandy and listening to soft jazz whirring from an old-fashioned radio. This is a high contrast to the years spent rocking back and forth in a corner, knees clutched tightly to my chest, carefully humming the tune to Santa Ba~y and trying to avoid hellacious family members and insipid Holiday programming on television. (\V'hat is with the two minute loop of a fire burning on Christmas morning displayed on the Fox Network, anyway?) The only bright side to the Holiday Season (aside from all the lights), is that it comes but once a year. After] anuary first, one is free from the bombardment of Faith, Love, and Joy. Yet remember, Valentine's Day is lurking just around the corner, waiting to strike full-force with red ribbons and thorned roses. ~ while having nosh after nosh of Sherry. Soon she will have become intoxicated and shout loudly at the top of her emphysema ridden lungs that, "had her husband, the Dodor, been alive none of this mess would have ever happened," and then cahnly pass out into the Christmas tree. Along with the decorations and family togetherness that goes hand-in-hand with the Holidays, there is also the traditional gift exchange. This is a ritual with the overriding theme that "it is better to give than to receive." I'd like to think this should hold true, but unfortunately it docs not. \Vhen one dishes out over twenty dollars for a gift on someone---a well thought out gift, something from the heart-and in return receives a ten year old fruitcake iced with boot black because Second Cousin lviarjorie has cataracts and can no longer see very well, the Seasonal Spirit widlln is summarily crushed. No warm fuzzy feelings of contentment can ever be had when one is . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Atheist-I<ids-Get-Presents Day is Near by Daniel Schwartz If you have been to the mall recently, you probably noticed them-eating at every table, waiting in line at every register, crawling out of crevices, and flowing down from above: consumers. Clearly, Christmas is upon us, and in America, the first step in celebrating Christmas is to buy presents for one's friends, one's family, and oneself. Christmas today is a jolly display of materialism and good will. It was not always so. Indeed, Christmas today resembles the ancient pagan celebrations of the winter solstice more than it resembles the Christmas of the Christians. As early as 217 B.C., for instance, the Romans celebrated Saturnalia with a public banquet which offered food and sometimes chaotic revelry. Businesses and schools closed down, and good cheer overcame all. Slaves, given a reprieve from work, played games in the streets-gambling, contrary to the usual laws, was allowed in public-and, while gambling, these slaves could even wear their masters' clothes. People exchanged gifts (candles, dolls, and pastries, for. example) and many decorated their homes with evergreen boughs to celebrate the fruitful crops to come. Then in the fourth century, Christian leaders declared, despite all of the evidence to the contrary, that Jesus was born on December 25. What could their goal have been, if not the usurpation of the pagan holidays? Their hope was that they could make the holidays a little more Christian. They succeeded to some extent, but they could never wipe out the pagan influence. 1.fany Christians, as a consequence, were ambivalent about Christmas; and some flatly opposed it. In 1645, for instance, Oliver Cromwell's administration cancelled the Christmas celebrations. Puritans in America went still further. From 1659 to 1681, the celebration of Christmas was banned in Boston and a five shilling fine for merriment imposed; even Christmas decorations were against the law. Reverend Increase 1-father summed up the problem this way: "The generality of Christmas-keepers observe that festival after such a manner as is highly dishonourable to the name of Christ. How few are there comparatively that spend those holidays (as they are called) after an holy manner. But they are consumed in Compotations, in Interludes, in playing at Cards, in Revellings, in excess of \'\line, in mad 11irth ... " Even after the Boston ban came to an end, few Bostonians celebrated the holiday. Christmas was not seriously celebrated in America until the 19rh century. America was the most capitalistic country in the history of the world. There was a growing middle class and droves of entrepreneurs who wanted their spending money. For the first time, Americans, on a large scale, celebrated Christmas with gift-giving. The marketplace fueled the changing Christmas customs; newly created department stores crafted a commercial image of the Christmas holiday in order to fuel their seasonal sales. Right away, some Christians lamented that Christmas was becoming too commercial. For the most part, however, Americans gloried in their commercialism. The story of Santa Claus underwent a dramatic revision during this period. Originally, the legend of St. Nicholas was of a Turkish monk who gave away all of his wealth and traveled the countryside helping the poor and sick. In Germany, St. Nicholas was later said to be accompanied by Black Peter, an elf who punished disobedient children. American writers-most notably Clement Clarke l\Joore, who is generally credited with writing "The Night Before Christmas"-transformed these religious figures into Santa Claus, a fat and "right jolly old elf" from the North Pole. Santa, unlike the Christian St. Nicholas, gives gifts to rich and poor alike. Santa's gifts are not alms given out of Christian compassion; he is a jolly elf with an endless supply of goods for an of those greedy, materialistic Americans. 1hny Christians today believe that Christmas is under attack. Jesus' birthday, they point out, ought not to be celebrated with pure commercialism and selfishness. They lament the popularity of the Christ~ mas carol over the 1-Iass, of"I want it" over "love thy neighbor," of shopping over praying, of Santa over St. Nicholas. Christmas is under attack, but not in the way most serious Christians think. Christmas has been under attack by ChristiaNs since the fourth century. Since their usurpation of the winter solstice celebrations from pagans, they have sought to eliminate all that which makes Christmas worth celebrating. They have sought to replace good will with self-sacrifice, merriment with guilt, and celebration of this life with concern for the 11ext life. Obviously, there is no universal law stating that everyone who calls himself Christian will wish to stamp out every selfish element of Christmas. :t\.fany Christians are selfish, too; they refuse to let their philosophy get in the way of their love of this life and their pursuit of that which promotes their lives on earth. They enjoy giving and receiving gifts and listening to jolly Christmas carols-and to that extent they do not practice Christianity consistendy. Trees, decorations, gifts, Santa, and carols-every lifecelebrating Christmas tradition can be traced back to pagm1 culture. (Christmas carols, though technically Christian in origin, are more essentially a secular phenomenon. To fight pagan customs, the singing of Christmas carols was actually banned from services-first by the Council of ChalonsurSaone in the seventh century, again in the thirteenth century by the Council of Avignon, and again in the fifteenth century by the Council ofBasle. Pope John XXII, following St. Augustine's lead, chastised composers who prevent devotion by attempting to please the ear. As late as January oflast year, a Diocese in Ireland banned from services all secular music. In other words, some serious Christians have supported caroling, but only when it opens up a way towards God. Upbeat and high-spirited carols and songs, such as the one which wishes us all a merry Christmas, are essentially secular.) \\!hat, then, is Christmas? Is it a Christian observance of the birth of Christ? If so, then the holiday must be one of hatred for this world. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sistersyes, even his own life-he cannot be my disciple," Jesus is reported to have said (Luke 14:25). Hatred, in this context, requires that one subordinate one's love for oneself and one's family to one's duty to God. If, on the other hand, you value your own life on earth, then do something about it: have a merry Christmas!~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �Where to go for the best overpriced starch: Potato Valley Cafe by Nic Zakheim Staff Writer Potato Valley Cafe is basically the quick and easy for the State House employees, which is probably why it is one of the few restaurants in Annapolis that can afford to be open for that minimal amount of time. Add to it that if you go there you'll likely be spending $8-$10 dollars on a dressed-up baked potato (!!!) and a drink, and you'll realize that yes, they really do not have to be open very long to pay the overhead. Prices are a little bit cheaper for St. John's students, since if you show them your school ID before they've rung you up, you get a dollar off the price before tax. Can you believe that you can get taxed on potatoes? The Potato CafC boasts of having 20 different potato toppings available, and multiple gourmet butters as well, but when you're standing in a line of twenty hungry State employees, you do not really have much time to stand around looking at the topping that will make your $4.75 baked potato with garlic butter and some cheddar cheese even more expensive. In this case, it's better to just go with one of their specialty potatoes, which can be 1-iexican or Indian themed, or simply stuffed with random vegetables and some chicken. I went for the strange Vegetarian Combo which was stuffed with corn, artichoke, iceberg lettuce, cucumbers, hot peppers and a dozen other random veggie toppings in it for about $5.75 with my student discount and before tax or drink. The potato was huge, and it was heavy. However, while digging through the vegetables to examine the potato a little better I realized why I couldn't find it - it was pretty much my entire container, and the Interested in working with the the Gadfly? Tuesdays at 5:00 BBC Basement vegetables, though numerous in variety, were only on the very top of this monster. It really was just a baked potato with some toppings after all. It turns out, there were too many vegetable on that top layer. With so many different flavors, textures and taste themes going on at once, I could barely taste anything, and took some time just looking at the mess on top of that frickin' potato that kept mocking me with that disconcerting $7 smirk. But I was hungry, and had just paid $7 odd bucks to avoid eating in that other land of hypocrisy where a little man who insisted that French fries are a staple in a healthy meal, that waffles should be enough of a variety, and that vegetarians should be able to live on greasy rice and peas (or the salad bar), was busy getting his picture taken as he smiled and forced people to eat what they prepaid $8 dollars a meal for. I sadly took another forkful of strange vegetable and potato. I will admit, that after giving up on trying to understand all the different vegetables on top of the starchy ball, the potato monster was actually well done. Since all these people seem to do is bake potatoes day in and day out, they have mastered the science. The gargantuan Idaho potato was nice and crunchy around the peel, and soft inside. \Vhile the garlic butter was overwhelming and made everything a little too runny, if they had only slopped a little less of it on, it would have probably worked out well. I looked around the cramped and busy store, watching people wolfing down potatoes with curry, chicken, bacon and pineapple toppings, on plastic trays, with plastic forks and knives, barely a scrap of a napkin to keep their business suits, shirts and ties clean, and I realized that this really was an American themed restaurant. Capitalism at its bestfive to eight dollars spent on a dressed up starchy relative of nightshade which has near to no nutritional value of its own. The potato famine in the 1800s occurred because of the overwhelming dependence the Irish had on their potato crop, and not to make light of the extreme difference in circumstances and gravity of the two situations, the ridiculousness of this store is over whelming.~ 10 THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Johnnie Quotes of the Week . N: "We're not talking about icking noses--we're talking about oingtohell!" (From a sophomore eminar on Augustine) . B:"There's a lot of culminating oing on here." (On Euclid V/.3) . B:"We say a lot of things about a ot of things, but only some of it's s. L:"I wonder if this is the climax f the book?" . B: "Well, are you feeling di- ed?'' r. S: "Where are we going to sit? id they sell more tickets than seats? at do they think this is- an air. M: "I hope not. That would mean hat we'd have to sit around and wait or the next Messiah." . S: "Oh, that's what my people ave been doing for 2,000 years." From a trip to hear Handel's essiah at the National Cathedral) Come on, we know you've got more than that! Sendyourfavorite Johnnie blurbs to the Gac!ffy: sjcgadfly@yahoo.com (Or write to us via campus maiL) �~~--~~- 'i&Thi® [16]111®@ mru lmJ nw'lt~lf' at $t. JOhn •s Coll~s~ francJ$ Scott K~ Aud.1t(Jt'1u.m }0e.ce.mher <r"'an<l Ict'at 3 Pm and. }Je.cemper Jltha:t 3Pm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . ; . 11 . �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Activities and Events All shuttles depart from the gym lot and are fu:st come first seated. SJCEvents: Fri., Dec. 9: The King \Vill.i..1m Players present The Lio11 i11 lf?'i11ter 8:15 Pl'vi in FSKAuditoriwn Tues, Dec. 13: Asst. Dean's Holiday Party in the Great Hall- after Collegiwn and before the Waltz Party. Student Activities: Sun., Dec. 11: The Nutcracker - Ballet Theatre of Maryland IPi11 free tickets! Enter the dra\ving to win 2 free tickets to this performance of the Nutcracker (\vith the Annapolis Chorale Chamber Orchestra) at Maryland Hall in Annapolis. Put your name and contact info in the drawing b ox in the Asst. Dean's Office. Drawing will be on Thurs., Dec. 8. Winners will be notified by campus mail. One entry per perso11, thanks! Shuttles: Arundel Mills Mall Shuttle: Sat., Dec. 10 at 10 Ai\I; Sun.,Dec.11 atll AM D.C. Shuttle: Sat.,Dec.10 at 10Al\f L!Jcal Events Thurs., Dec. 8: Annapolis Chorale - A Celebration of Chrisbnas Maryland Hall for the Creative Arts, 7:30 p.m. Join in on this SRO Annapolis tradition ... get your tickets early for this annual holiday kick of~ The merriment begiJlS with the Annapolis Chorale's unique mix of the finest sentiments and music of the season. Tickets: $35. Call41 0263-1906 or visit annapolischorale.org. Thurs., Dec. 8: ''A Taste of Maryland History" Book Signing and Free Tasting Reynolds Tavern, 7 Church Circle, 4:00p.m. 1vfeet the authors, and sample some recipes and tea featured in d1e book from Reynolds Tavern. The new book highlights restaurants located in buildings of historic interest In addition to historical background and anecdotal information on each building, two to three recipes are included. Free. No reservations required. Call41 0295-9555 or visit W\V\v.reynoldstavern.org. DATE DUE 'r . ,~' 'J I '- Mr. Shaver 12 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Thurs., Dec. 8 and 15: Midnight Madness -Downtown Annapolis. 6:00 p.m.-midnight. Historic Annapolis' shops throw open their doors in a glorified block party that is open to all. Enjoy musical performances as well as food and refreshments at many a store as you stroll along ·Maryland Avenue, Main, and West Streets in search of that perfect gift. Free. Call 410-280-0445 or visit WW\v.visitannapolis.org Fri., Dec. 9: Annapolis Chorale- A Celebration of Chrisbnas Maryland Hall for the Creative Arts, 8:00p.m. (see above) Sat.-Sun., Dec.l0-11: Handel's Messiah U.S. Naval Academy Main Chapel. Saturday, 8:00p.m.; Sunday, 2:00p.m. Featuring d1e U.S. Naval Academy Glee Club, Hood College Choir, and the Annapolis Symphony Orchestra. Admission. 41 0-293-TIXS or W\V\V. tickets.com. Friday, December 16: Annapolis Chorale -Handel's Messiah by Candlelight St. Anne's Episcopal Church. 8:00 p.m. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor) McClay, Mark F. (Editor) Roberts, Aaron B. (Editor) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 12 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-12-08 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 12 of The Gadfly. Published December 8, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.12 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/16f80895fd0fa1677b37064ab94f716b.pdf bd08ce30ad072e6ad0c9574a3bde0354 PDF Text Text GADFLY The St. Johns College Student Weekly Volume XXVII, Issue 13 Annapolis, Maryland January 19, 2006 In the Shadow of Thucydides by Seth Tipps A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Convocation ... by Mark McClay Editor-In-Chief The Convocation of the college for the Febbie class of 2009 was held in fhe Great Hall last Wednesday. According to custom, the new January freshmen were formally inducted into the student body, signed the student register, and received their complimentary copies ofLiddell and Scott's Greek-English Lexicon. This group of 20 freshmen is the final of the Annapolis Febbie classes, as the program will be discontinued on the Annapolis campus after this year. In his convocation address, president Christopher Nelson recounted a strange dream, in which an unquenchable thirst drove him fhrough a peculiar sequence of program-related experiences. From seeing himself as various Biblical figures such asAbrabam, Noah, Job, Moses, and Jesus, he found himself as Achilleus fleeing the river god, sea-tossed Odysseus and Aeneas. From Homer and Virgil, Mr. Nelson went on to dream of himself as Melville's great white whale, Twain's Hucldeberry Finn, and (most peculiarly) a fhe hearer of a Supreme Court opinion ('~'\ body of water is navigable if it is big enough to float a Supreme Court opinion in"). Mr. Nelson then drank all the program books in succession, taking special note of a little blue volume by Sigmund Freud, OtJ Dreams. \Xlhether 1lt Nelson's story about his peculiar dream is authentic is something only he can know for sure (an informal poll indicates that the preponderance of students were not quite convinced); but even so, the metaphor of a deep thirst seeking satisfaction in the Great Books of the program nevertheless provided a powerful image for all in attendance. TI1e Gat!f!yjoins the rest of the campus community in welcoming the Febbies to St. John's .....- The new Pebbles and the discontinuation of the Febbie proffOm will be the subject uf ajeaturt article in an upcoming iJsue ufthe Gadfly. Over Christmas break, I found the opportunity to read Mr. Donald Kagan's The Peloponnesian JParduring one of my Barnes and Noble raids. To spare you the details, Mr. Kagan's interpretation of Thucydides seems to follow the recent trend of questioning primary sources to the wrong corner of town. Despite the brilliant breakthroughs of the Rankean revolution in military history, the new school of thought does show an inexcusable bias against the accuracy of primary sources, especially those of the ancients. On Friday night, Professor Kurt Walling's lecture revealed the biases of this group of historians, explained the reasons that these biases are unacceptable, and provided a workable solution for the problems presented by Thucydides, and the interpretation of Thucydldes' thought by modem (or postmodern) scholars. The lecture opened with a model of the "fog of war," which Professor Walling regarded as having a three-dimensional nature: first, military factors which prevent accurate judgment of the movements and intentions of the enemy; second, the political factors that define objective and sometimes method; and finally, the factor of time, so important in a world lacking electronic conununications. These three dimensions lead to a single failure: namely, the failure of intelligence. The failure of intelligence is compounded by a second failure: that of the imagination. A failure not only to know the intentions of your enemy, but to imagine the greatest possible variety of actions, leads to an inability to succesfully defeat the initiatives of your opponent or to determine which initiatives are truly important to your own success. A fhorough understanding of military theory Thucydides continued on page 4 �THE .,...GADFLY Editors-in-Chief Mark F. McClay Aaron B. Roberts The Editors' Page Meet the Editors by Aaron Berwick Roberts Senior Editors Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Design and Layout Anna Harvey Photographers Clark Saylor Alex Lorman Mr. Roberts Contributing to this Issue Rachael Bartgis Steve Fairchild Stacey Goguen Ara Guekguezian Leo Pickens Seth Tipps Jennifer Wright NicZakheim Founded in 1980, the Gadj(y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not ncccssarilly represent the opinions of the Gadfly staff. The Gadffy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for !,>rammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadffy is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions arc greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to stjohnsgadfly@gmail.com. After many years of service, :Mr. Christopher Utter and Ms. Shoshana Goldstein have stepped down from their respective posts on the Editorial Board of the critically-acclaimed Gadfly. But who will take their places? Have no fear, Messrs. Mark McClay and Aaron Berwick Roberts will shoulder the burden--and oh, what a cross it is to carry. We will continue to bring you the opinions (e.g.,DanRera's intermittent pieces on global politics), the facts (e.g., fen saiS quot), and the humor (e.g.,J;ws Clues) that you have come to expect from your favorite weekly, non-syndicatedcollege publication. We ask that you, our readers, take a more active interest in campus life. Consider this scenario: When you are not drinking, sleeping, or studying, you might help to foster discussion with written submissions. It's just an idea. But Iknowwhatyou're asking yourself. "What can you expect to come from the Gadfly in the future"? The Gar!f!y office will soon move from its current location in the basement of Barr- Ma'lf/ tov. "!!r "Socrates' Favorite Things" by Rachel Bartgis (with apologies to Rogers and Hammerstein) ] ustice and virltte and beautiful thinking, Young boys, Xanthippe, and fun nights of drinking, Long conversations that make the soul ring: These are a ftw of my favorite things. Lines with divisions a11d clear definitions, Lies that are noble 2 Buchanan to its new office space on Rowe Blvd. (currently under construction). There is also some talk about starting a television program. But even if our headquarters is not relocated or our cable broadcast contract's details are never finalized, the St. Joho's Polity might srill anticipate a change from the Gadfly's current format to broadsheet. Pethaps, even, the Gadfly might be posted on the intranet or even the World \"\/ide \"\/eb. \"'hat an exciting age we live in! Oh, and by the way, the Gadfly will now be published on Thursdays instead of Tuesdays. (The submission deadline, however, is still 12:00am, Saturday night). In closing, we would like to share an old Bulgarian joke which we were told recently: '1\ father to his 16 year old daughter: -Daughter, ifyou behave like a good girl, then I will give you a silver bracelet. -But Father, because I behave like a bad girl, I already received a golden bracelet." . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ' .. and slaves' suppositions, Leaving the cave and philosopher kings, These are a ftw of my favorite things. IVhen the courts judge, When I'm thirsty, Whe11 the hemlock numbs, I simpfy remember that stupid play Clouds A11d thm I don~ ftc! so dumb! �Jen-Sais-Quoi: Frequently Questioned Answers by Jennifer Wright Staff Writer Sometimes people read my articles and, after having read them, they feel a sense of intimacy has been established between us. This can be most agreeable; writing little Gac!f!y articles has been rather nice for me, as it means I get to share things -without having to overcome my initial fluster at talking to people. And it makes me really happy when people come up and talk about how they love homeless people too, or invite me out for viewings of Corpse Bride. I got to see it 10 times before it closed in theaters, and then a wonderful fellow made me a bootlegged copy, and another wonderful freshman presented me with a pin with Emily's face on it (I have not been true tomyword,anddo notweariton my lapel all the time; but I do wear it, and am exceedingly charmed by it). However, it can also be a little awkward for me, given that while people might know something about me, I know nothing about them. One incident occurred when I was taking tea at my tea place, and an upperclassman I'd never met before sat down across from me, gingerly took the book I was reading from my hands and proceeded to talk about what a trollop his exgirlfriendwas (actually, thewordheusedwasnot 1 'trollop'' but I like the word trollop because it sounds like "dollop," which sounds like something that might be used in baking pastries; thus trollop= cookie). After he finished he stared at me as though he expected me to confirm this, and I stared back and replied, "I was reading my book, and then you came, and you took the book out of my hands, and now I am not reading it anymore." I don't think that was the response he was looking for. This was actually one of the better interactions -certainly bettert:lmn the ones where people boldly inform me that I'm willfully naive (I'm going to pretend that person was just another Dodie Smith fan) a militant feminist (no- they won't have me unless I give up the high heels) or a classist republican (certainly not!) So these days when people come up to me and say they have a question from the last article I tend to say, "1'vfmm. Do you?" and then talk about what nice weather we're having. Then I run away as quickly as my high heels will cany me. However, I figure I really ought to reply to some. So thank you for all your questions. Here are the answers: 1. On the computer. With my fmgers. On Microsoft Word. Without the red squiggly line. I find the red squiggly line a distracting nuisance, and I'm loathe to even mention the green squiggly line. And they come out of my brain. AndI hate to mention this to you- but if your brain ttuly does not produce ideas, if how one <~gets" them is a real mystety, then it is a good sign that you've exited the cmporeal realm. 2. No. No, I'm not. No, dammit, for the last time, no. I'm a limousine liberal; it's not the same thing at all I'm afraid I really wouldn't feel qualified to write anything about it- I get all of my information from The Daify Show, but then, I did decide to study classical philosophy and not contemporary politics, so I don't feel as guilty as I probably should. For investigative journalism you really must tum to Ivir. Rera. 3. Pink! Pink! But if not pink, I would be forced to say, glitter. Glitter or maybe rainbow. No, glitter. Yes. Glitter. Or maybe periwinkle. Oh, periwlnkle glitter. Yes, that's it. 4. Did you mean "bunion," or "onion"? I cannot read your mad scrawl. The difference, obviously, is crucial. 5. I realize that there's always going to be someone who finds each article the most insulting thing they've ever read, and I realize that St. John's students really have very little to complain about and have to find something, but I think you may be taking me about fifty-four times as seriously as I ought to be taken. I'll give you a helpful guide- there are perhaps three points that should be taken out of any given article I write. They are: 1) the world is an amusing place populated by eccentric characters that merit anecdotes. 2) Try to be nice, and don't sneer at people preemptively just because you perceive them to be different from you in some way (though if they knowingly hurt you, then I suppose how you respond to them is your own prerogative). 3) Pink is a great color, and the world would be slightly better if it were populated by more imaginary anthropomorphic creatures. None of these are intended to be regarded as serious social commentary - and they're always mostly tongue in cheek. Honestly- they're really only intended to be a whirnsicallitde caprice that hopefully gives people a bit of a giggle. I think if you take them in that light you might find yourselfless riled up. 6. Hmm. Umm. Well. I usually say The Beautiful a11d Damnedby F. Scott Fitzgerald. But I think my quality of life would be most considerably lessened by the deduction of The Age of Inno- cence by Edith Wharton. I read it for the first time in 4rh grade, and I can't imagine I really understood it, but I loved it so much that I demanded that everyone call me Countess Olenska. No one actually did, but I still love it. And Lolita. Everyone should read that. Eugene Onegin. Dr. Zhivago. The Cherry Orchard. Generally books about Russian aristocrats of any kind are a good bet. And the complete works ofCapote, Kundera and Atwood. "The Masque of the Red Death" by Poe and ''A Perfect Day for Banana Fish" by Salinger. And Ishiguro too- except for that stupid clones in love thlng, I hate that stupid clones in love thing. because it's stupid- but still, you've got to give him a lot of credit for Remains o/ the Dtl)!. But then, I think The Great Gats!J] may be the most fundamentally flawless novel written in the English language, and when called upon I'm willing to defend it not the way I would a book, but the way I would defend a friend, or lover, or country. All of Fowles too, and 1·fann, and Wool£ And need I even mention the complete Calvin and Hobbes comics? All are brilliant, but I confess a slight preference for Scimtijic Progress Goes 1'Boink!"But then, I suppose that should be your own call to make. 7. Cupcakes? 8. Yes, I actually do think she was something of a trollop. I mean, reallJ~ I know I was just sitting, staring at you but in my head my trollop alarm was going of£ 'cfrollopl" my trollop alarm screamed like a windy either hankering for a hymn, "Trollop! Trollop! Trollop!" Yep, that ex-girlfriend of yours, she sure was a trollop. Trollop rhymes with dollop. She was a dollop of a trollop. But not the kind of pastry I would serve in any patisserie I happened to run. Trollop. 9. Thank you for the great Audrey Hepburn picture! It's adorable - I have it on my desk. However, I think my love for her is a little overrated. I do think she's the most elegant thing ever, but it's Marilyn Monroe I really love. She's so beautiful and lonely and kind of sloppy but in a charming way that reminds me of an ice cream sundae. I really think that anyone who really doesn't get the whole mystique, who thinks she's just another Harlow or harlot, is quite mad. She's the only movie star I've ever wished I could know. I just think she'd be a nice person to call up and have lunch with. I have this theory that Breakfast at Tiffa'!Y} was \Vritten about her- if Answers continued on next page . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY 3 �the cause of the war, stating instead d1at d1c cause was "failed crisis ma."1agement'' on the part of the Athenian and Spartan alliances. Reverse the goals of d1eAthenians and Spartans and you get Kagan's view: namely, that Athens had a limited goal of hiding defensively behind its walls and allowing the Spartans to wear themselves out, thus holding on to their allies; whereas the Spartans had the unlimited goal of dismantling the Athenian Empire and its walls through a land campaign in Attica. The revisionists also claim that the great generals of the war - Brasidas, Demosthenes, Cleon, andAlcibiades- came too late to affect the initial strategy of the two sides. In short, Athens did not loose the war because of the weaknesses of democracy, but due to a lack of good generalship. In short, Professor Walling's thesis is that Thucydides holds hls ground against the attacks of the revisionists, and d1at understanding the strengths of the Syracusan democracy and the weaknesses of the Athenian democracy is essential for the strategic success of our present-day democracy. Thucydides gives an image of the Athenian democracy as a people resdess to become "godlike" as Achilles or Odysseus, goaded on by the hopeful passion which is the soul of a democracy: the dream of a better life. In the case of the Athenians, this means the domination of the Mediterranean world through their naVJ~ This requires holding Megara ~d the land mute across the isthmus giving naval control of the northwestern portion of Greece, and then dismantling the naval powers of Carthage and Syracuse. Sparta is interested in the maintenance of the status quo, which is threatened by the growing to function at a fully normal adult level, but it will power ofAthens. Athens has established a form decrease your intellect considerab(y. Books that once of tyranny over her allies, and depends on a dismeant a great deal to you will mean little, you won Y contented clientele for survival. Sparta cannot e'!)qy complex philosophicalproblems andyour memory simply invade Attica due to the power of AthJPon ~be nearfy as good How doyou spend the next two ens' walls, and it cannot take on Athens without week.r? '!lr a navy. Similarly, Athens cannot take on Sparta in a land batde. The revolt of Corcyra gives Athens an opportunity to secure the defection of Corinth Thucydides continued from front page from the league without a war, peacefully giving can help in overcoming these difficulties, but Athens a bypass of the Peloponnesus. Therevolt of Potidea and Sparta's promise to aid it experience is by far the better teacher. give the Peloponnesians a reason to invade Attica, Professor Walling presented the existing argument against the accuracy ofThucydides as to and thus war breaks out. The Spartans can really only attempt to the strategy, objectives, and motivations of this convince the allies of Athens to defect by inwar as a failure to recognize the biases of our own culture. In contemporary thought, as ex- vading Attica, and hope for a Persian interemplified by Kagan, Thucydides' exile from A1h~ vention. The Athenians try to take 1\,fegara, ens after his failure to defend an important port and begin a series of raids on the soft undercity from the Spartan admiralBrasidas was cause belly of the Peloponnesus, hoping to provide for his hopeless bias against Cleon, the Athe- a base of operations by which they can supnian citizens, and democracy itself. These histo- port slave revolts and an attack by Argos. Thls rians accuse Thucydides of misunderstanding strategy provides the brilliant victory ofPylos, you reveal your anonymous identity to me, we should have tea and talk old movie stars. 10. Hugh .i\-faleny. I haven't d1e foggiest notion if that's how his name is spel.t- but yes, I thought he was very good. \Vhy? 11. Rot· and rubbish! Rmtis about avantgarde bohemianism the way a poster ofkitten clinging to a branch reading ''hang in there" is about heroic perseverance. Dancing on table tops and in slighdy non-Euclidian positions is not a substantial force for social advancement. I did just see IFhite Countess and I thought it was excellent, and I really enjoyed Match Point. And in King Kong there are enormous bugs that eat people. I'm not saying that alone really makes it a good movie, I'm just pointing out that there are giants bugs in it that eat people, which I and the ten-year-old boy sitting next to me both thought was pretty dam cool. And oh my God, King Kong takes on three T-rexes and he just demolishes them. Now that is enough, all on its own, to make it a good movie. But then, it's so hard to find good movies in _Annapolis - there are no independent theaters around. However, Sarah Ball is founding a club to watch Brideshead Revisited, which I think is magical. I'm joining, and you should too. 12. Be good. And give hugs! Hugs! And now, having answered your questions, I shall pose a question to youl I've been posing it to everyone these days. I've found about fifty percent of Johnnies respond in the same way. Here is my question: Oh, no! You Ve got a brain tumor in your prefrontal lobe! ItS going to killyou in six montbs. But in two weeks thry fe petforming an operation to remove it. The operation will leaveyou able 4 and the war would have ended on Athenian terms had the Athenians not asked for so much as to strengthen the resolve of the Spartans. The Spartan commander Brasidas launches a brilliant campaign to stir rebellion in Thrace by supporting the revolt of Amphipolis. The two sides agreed to a truce, which could not last because of the impossibility of -d1e return ofAmphipolis to the Athenians as long as the city expected to be massacred by its former masters, and because the goals of the war have still not been accomplished. The largest land battle of the war is fought at I\{ant:inea during this period. The war isn't working, and the Athenians are hopeful Based on bad intelligence and a bad case of optimism, the Athenians elect to go to Sicily, where they are defeated because of partisan politics and the fear the generals had of failure. The Athenians, you see, have a nasty habit of ostracizing or killing generals who displease them. The lecture went on to describe in brief the conclusion of the war, but the essential point was well established: Thucydides has presented what is for the most part a consistent and well-supported account of the first twothirds of the Peloponnesian War. The excessive hopefulness of Athens led them to abandon a largely successful strategy in favor of an epic conquest of a fellow democracy whose defensibility ranged far beyond the imaginative powers of the Athenian populace and leadership. The Athenians began a venture they could not finish because they could not imagine a democracy as capable as themselves, got wrapped up in partisan politics, and played a blame game which killed more Ad1enian generals than the Spartans did. This lecture provided an original, clear, and solid argument for the accuracy ofThucydides. Though the lecture was less of an historical investigation than a demonstration of the Thucydides' political thought, it made the job of future historians much easier. Tragically, I doubt there will be any such follow-up, despite the fact that Professor Walling is not alone in his opinion. The public is simply not given access to the scholarly writings on this topic. The sort of writing you see in a bookstore is limited by sales. Histories which present a possible flaw in our political system do not sell because an imperfect democracy reflects the imperfections of the human nature itself. Trends will change, and experience (Iraq?) may lend itself to discussion about the strengths and weakness of democratic government. Until then, be glad you're a Johnnie. '!lr . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �A Reply To Mr. Rera by Steve Fairchild In his article "Papa Sam is Here to Help," ]'vir. Rera incorrectly asserts: "we brought chemical weapons into Iraq and used them 011 the insurgents a tid civilians there." The fact is, neither depleted uranium (DU) nor white phosphorus (WP) is a chemical weapon. According to the Chemical Weapons Convention, "'Chemical Weapons' means the following, together or separately: (a) Toxic chemicals and their precursors, except where intended for purposes not prohibited under this Convention, as long as the types and quantities are consistent with such purposes; (b) Munitions and devices, specifically designed to cause death or other harm through the toxic properties of those toxic chemicals specified in subparagraph (a), which would be released as a result of the employment of such munitions and devices; (c) Any equipment specifically designed for use directly in connection with the employment of munitions and devices specified in subparagraph (b). 'Toxic Chemical' means: Any chemical which through its chemical action on life processes can cause death, temporary incapacitation or permanent harm to humans or animals. This includes all such chemicals, regardless of their origin or of their method of production, and regardless of whether they are produced in facilities, in munitions or elsewhere." Neither DU nor \VP meets any of these criteria. Among the "Purposes Not Prohibited Under this Convention" are"(c) Military purposes not connected with the use of chemical weapons and not dependent on the use of the toxic properties of chemicals as a method of warfare." Mr. Rera clearly acknowledges the military purpose of DU in his article by describing its use for "bullets that can pierce ahnost any armor, and armor that can stop almost any bullets. These DU weapons make combat ridiculously onesided in the U.S.'s favor." By implying that the U.S. ought to use weapons that level the playing field for the enemy, I'vfr. Rera only emphasizes that the true advantage of DU, and hence its purpose, does not lie in its toxic properties. But what of these toxic properties? Since the end of the Gulf War, there has been an ongoing debate, if it can be called that, between an uncooperative Department of De- fense (DoD), which has understated potential health and environmental risks, and histrionic anti-DU activists whose incredible claims cannot be substantiated. DoD's reticence in providing relevant information about its use of DU has only fueled activists' exaggerations. As of today, what studies have been conducted have demonstrated no significant health risk from exposure to DU. However, this could be a consequence of the inadequacy of the methodologies employed. 1 Claims like Mr. Rera's, that DU is somehow responsible for an "abnormally high percentage of an ophthalmic children being born" in Iraq, are at best unsubstantiated. If indeed "toxic radioactive metal" has begun "to show up in average Iraqi appliances and playgrounds," Mr. Rera ought to show us evidence. Now to White Phosphorus, an incendiary weapon, not a chemical weapon. The Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons, responsible for implementing the Chemical \Veapons Convention, explains: "Incendiary agents such as napalm and phosphorus are not considered to be CW agents since they achieve their effect mainly through thermal energy. Certain types of smoke screen may be poisonous in extremely high concentrations but, nonetheless, smoke ammunition is not classed as a chemical weapon since the poisonous effect is not the reason for their use." 2 Further, the Unites States is not a party to Protocol III of the Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons (CCW), which restricts the use of incendiary weapons. Our use of WP is perfectly legal. Even if the U.S. were a signatory to Protocol III, it would not be prohibited from using incendiary weapons on enemy combatants. Protocol III, which prohibits their use on targets located within a "concentration of civilians," was rejected with the aim of sparing as many civilians as possible. On targets such as biological weapons facilities, the use of high explosives risks the release of contaminants; incendiary weapons can just as effectively neutralize bio-toxins without this risk. 3 If ?vir. Rera's analogy of America the "stern father figure" was weak even with the assumption that DU and WP are chemical weapons, it now falls apart. By thus classifying them, lvir. Rera could place an ostensibly hypocritical United States on the same moral plane as Saddam Hussein; he obscured the distinction between the illegal use of chemical weapons on innocent civilians, and the legal use of other weapons on insurgents and enemy combatants. qr- 'A fair mzd meticulottsfy researched source for the history of this debate and the myths promulgated fry both sides are the writings of Dan Fahry, which can befottnd at www.danfahry.mm. Partitwlarfy informative arc his papers "Science or Science Fiction? Facts, Myths and Propagmzda In the Debate Over Depleted UraniHm f.Veapons" and 'The Emergence and Decline of the Debate Over Depleted UraNium Munitions," which have informed my discussion of the topic. Of additional i11terest is a stucfy published in Jufy 2005/ry Sandia National Labs entitled ~~~ Anafysis of Uranium Dispersal and Health Effeds Using a Gu!f LVar Case Sturfy. "As far as I catJ tell, this is the most comprehmsive sturfy hitherto conducted; it mnc!udes: "health risks for most DU-exposed veterans are predicted to be very small," and "health risks for Iraqi civilians are predided to be very small, and claims ofobservable increases in leukemia and birth difects from DU exposure are not supported by this study." It can be found at http:/ / www.sandia.gov/ news-anter/ news-releases/ 2005/ dif-nonprolifsec/ snl-dusand.pdf 2 http:/ / www.opcw.org/ resp/ htm!/ cwagents.html 'http:// www.defense.gov/ acq/ acid treaties/ ccwapl/ artbyart__pro3.htm Interested in working with the The Gadfly? Tuesdays at 5:00 BBC Basement . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Where to go for the Best Hobo Lunch By Nic Zakheim Staff Writer Hobo, noun: orig. Western U.S. 'An idle shiftless wandering workman, ranking scarcely above the tramp' (Fnnk). Lunch (or Luncheon), noun: with those who 'cline' in the evening, luncheon denotes a meal (understood to be less substantial and less ceremonious than dinnei) taken usually in the early after- noon. Let's say that for some reason or another you woke up around 1pm on a Saturday or Sunday, and realize that you've slept in your clothes, which have mud and other unidentifiable stains on them, and that your head hurts. You think you remember collapsing into bed the night before (or was it already morning?) and that you were out ofbreath from nmning around all over cam- pus. Now your appearance is a complete mess, your stomach is begging for food, and the loud noises and strange smells of the dirllng hall seem far less appealing than the idea of washing up in College Creek. You have some money in your pocket and want food and a chance to get your mind straight, so you walk off campus in search of a quiet place to eat. You, my dear friend, are a hobo. Do yourself a favor and take a nice walk about % of a mile down West Street and clear your head a bit. Staying on the right (as opposed to left) side for you to order. In fact, you probably didn't even see any wait~staff in there when you came in, picked up a menu and sat down. Don't expect them to even consider bringing you wa~ ter until after you've ordered real food and ex~ plicitly requested some in a plastic cup. After all, you are not a customer until you order some~ thing, and they really don't care whether you are nursing a sore head and can barely remember what you wanted to order. Just order some~ thing (I would recommend something with noodles), and specify whether you would like it mild, medium, spicy or Thai spicy. If you were a knucklehead and thought you would be able to pay with plastic, you may have to order more since they have a $20 minimum for credit cards and don't take checks. As for the food itself, if you are a vegetarian, DONT get the Pad Puck Tofu or the Pad Puck Ruam ~.fit. They are runny and unsubstantial, since they're just vegetables in garlic sauce, and their appearance on· the pbstic pbte (by the way, it will be plastic and you're going to have to get up and get yourself your own napkin) empha~ sizes the fact that they are definitely not worth $4.99. Go for the Gaeng Puck curry or some~ thing with bean sprouts and maybe green pa~ paya salad on the side. If you like meat, almost all the entrees have of the street, you'll pass the Lutheran :Mission and several cemeteries, and then you will begin to smell that sweet deep~fried scent of donuts. You're at Carlson's Donuts and Thai Kitchen, that place you have always meant to go and check out. If you get there before 2pm, you'll still be able to get a decent lunch and maybe some free donuts too. your choice ofchk:ken, beeforporl<, wid1 no change in price. 1he entrees themselves are either $5.99 or $6.99, and I might suggest giving the Thai Spaghetti a tty (stir fiied spaghetti with hot chili, mixed vegetables, basil leaves, and your choice ofchicken, beef orpotk). As fur seafood, the Tom Yrnn Talay (sluimp, squid, scallops, mushroom~ baby oom Everything on the Lunch menu is under $7 before tax, and the food is made by actual Thai kitchen staf£ Considering the fact that they make and lime leaves inlemongrass soup, $4.99) sounds amazing, as does the most CA"Pensive thing on the menu, the Pad Talay (everything in the donuts, their deep fried tofu (appetizer, $3.99) is easily the best in Annapolis. Their soups ($3.99$4. 99) are as good as they sound, and are all made soup+mussel~ served with rice, $13.59). with authentic Thai recipes and ingredients, but they are only 14 or so ounces, so don't expect to make a meal of it. The menu is very descriptive, and everything is so appealing, that while you're trying to decide what you want to get, you may actually not notice that there are not one, but two older Thai women standing by your booth with pads ready waiting 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . I would suggest trying their prnnpkin custard ($4.99) or banana in sticky rice ($3.99) for dessert since the spicy should always be balanced by the sweet, or you oould just get a donut ($1.1 0 for a dozen donut holes, and $.79 fora donut). Overall, you could have a lovely pity/post-hangover fourcourse meal in the dingy but clean shack~like store for about $15 bucks if you plan it right, and you may not even have to pay for the donuts.~ Johnnie Quotes of the Week Mr. 0: When I'm happy, I can smile and hug Agathon. Mr. L: There are definitely relationships going on here. (On Euclid • VI.31) Mr. B: This is "Euclid's Greatest Hits"! (On VI. 29-31) Mr. M: I look at it this way. Life is a farce, and I can either laugh or get angry. Right now I'm angry. Tutor: Someone ask me if I have a duck on my head. Mr. B: Do you have a duck on your head? Tutor: No. Mr. R: So . Qttoi about? wh~t exactly is Jen-Sais- Mr. T: Look at me! Thumb, thumb, thumb, thumb, thumb! You send 'em, we print 'em! Sendyourfavorite Johnnie bloopers to the Gadfly via campus mai~ or write to stjohnsgadfly@gmailcom �Sports Page by Ara Guekguezian 2005 Ho!idqy Tournament: Team *Hustlers Final Standings: w L PF PA BTS ATS AGS 3 0 179 68-68 lll-102 60-57 170 Druids 4 2 253 154-108 195-145 58-42 349 Guardians I 2 llO 160 38-79 72-81 37-53 GreenWaves 0 2 80 113 36-52 44-61 40-57 Spartans 0 2 94 106 45-34 49-72 47-53 BTS=B Team Score; ATS=Average Team Score; AGS=Average Game Score Most Valuable B Player (MVB)- Andrew Mackinley (D) Most Valuable A Player (MVA)- Steve Closs (D) & Logan Smith (H) -Wednesday, November 30-- Druids Guardians pt 2"' 3'' 4" Final 15 18 23 7 63 2 7 20 7 36 MVB -Andrew Mackinley (D); Runner-up- Joe MacFarland (G) MVA- Steve Closs (D); Runner-up- Tom Jacobs (D) 1Sl Hustlers Spartans znd 13 12 15 24 -Saturday, December 33'd 4th 9 II Final 22 5 59 52 MVB- Drew Sizemore (H); Runner-up- Matt Horst (S) MVA- Logan Smith (H); Runner-up- Craig Pratt (S) 1st Waves Druids Spartans Guardians Hustlers Druids znd J'd 41h 1st znd J•d 4lh Final 15 6 II 4 36 5 15 12 10 42 MVB -Nate Whitman (W); Runner-up- Noah Rossetter (W) MVA- Dave Can tine (D); Runner-up- Nick Olmstead (D) Druids Guardians Druids Hustlers -Saturday, December 10J•d 4th Final 18 9 17 II 55 4 8 0 15 27 MVB -James Myers (D); Runner-up -Andrew Mackinley (D) MVA- Jake Maldonado (G); Runner-up- Nick Olmstead (D) 1"1 znd (drumro!L..) Football: Back (quarter, half, or full)-Garret Drexler (Druid) Receiver-Charles Gillmarten (Spartan) Defense (any position)Andrew Romiti (Guardian) Final 8 II 2 23 44 17 23 19 71 12 MVB- Garret Drexler (D); Runner-up- Andrew Mackinley (D) MVA- Steve Closs (D); Runner-up- Jerry Janusewski (W) -Sunday, December 4-l st znd J'd 41h Final 7 7 15 13 42 18 8 17 47 4 MVB -Matt Horst (S); Runner-up- Paul Wilford (G) MVA- Jack Donahoe (G); Runner-up- Charles Gillmarten (S) 1£t znd 3m 4th Final 15 19 3 23 60 16 18 ll 14 59 MVB- Giovanni Smedley (D); Runner-up- Ben Crane (D) MVA- Mike Wu (H); Runner-up- Rob Thornell (H) -Wednesday, December 7- Waves Druids Fall 2005 Ary Awards -Sunday, December 111st znd J•d 41h Final 8 15 10 26 59 14 13 14 19 60 MVB- Jake Crabbs (H); Runner-up- Greg Schroeder (H) MVA- Logan Smith (H); Runner-up- James Wrigley (D) Soccer: Offense-Chester Martin (Druid) Defense-Ian Lindquist (Druid) Goaltender-James Wrigley (Druid) Overall: Most Valuable PlayerMatt Mangold (GreenWave) Most Virtuous PlayerHank Schley (Spartan) Biggest Field PresenceTobias Russell (Hustler) Biggest Drama QueenRob Hurst (Spartan) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Athletes of the Week KUNAI Sports by Stacey Goguen Staff Writer The Knnai basketball season, which extends from after Thanksgiving break to the end of February, is about a dlird over. The March Madness basketball games will start after Spring Break, and then in April it will be back to Soccer. Out-of-Season soccer is continuing on Saturday afternoons, run by Rachael Boyce. Chelsea Stigman and Alicia Elkins have discontinued the Snnday Basketball Clinic. :tvfr. Pickens is running a volleyball tournament for the neA't two Snnday afternoons at 2pm, which will run about 90 minutes each. Players of all skill levels welcome, and games will be coed. The games will be played ronnd-robin style, so bring a book to read between games. So far, about 58 women have participated in the season. That's 26%. Mr. Pickens asks, "at what other school do 1 in 4 women come out to play sports at least once?" I want to say thank you to Emily Andrews, Kara Sylvester-Johnston and anyone else from Santa Fe who came out and played while visiting d1e campus. It was great to play with you again. Finally, I would like to invite d1e 10 female febbies to come out for a basketball game, even if you have never picked up a basketball in your life. Team captains will be more than happy to show you the basics, and it's a great way to meet people from all the classes. Ifanod1er player gets you to come out, you can play on their team or be allotted alphabetically by last name.~ Miss Currie Mr. Sizemore (center) Kunai Basketball Standing Mter seven games, here is how the teams stand: Team Nymphs Furies Maenads Amazons 8 w 3 2 6 3 L 4 5 1 4 T Points 0 0 0 0 180 122 195 170 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yo InbJ whicl begi~ theriJ me., - ~ 1 . 1 DATE DUE 1 ~0 ~~ r � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource McClay, Mark F. (Editor in Chief) Roberts, Aaron B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 13 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 20056-01-19 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 13 of The Gadfly. Published January 19, 2006. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.13 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/97f8193e6992437c27763c4c0fde255a.pdf 01017b1b8f70317b83941d0ecbfe03e6 PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY 1 Hbr /l l l l l l ~l~ nr~)1~ ~ ~1~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ GADFLY Tbe St. John} College Student Weekly Volume XXVII, Issue 14 Annapolis, Maryland January 26, 2006 Febbies, Febbies, Everywhere by Carolyn Walsh, ~o9 As many of you read last week- and hopefully have noticed in the course of any jaunts about campus~ the Febbie class of 2009 has joined the polity of St. Jolm's in full force, and is busy making an impression on life here at the College. They appear Campus Security: What Should Students I<now? by D.L. Ferrell, (07 So it's that time of year again. Febbies are arriving. Snow is falling. Homicide victims are appearing on back campus. And, compounded with three stolen bikes, two stolen cars, and the mugging of a student downtown in broad daylight, all within the span of a month, we are brought to the realization that in fact our college bubble is not impervious to the forces of the outside world, and it might be in our interest to start paying more attention to what is going on around us. It seems something like this happens every year. According to federal law, the school is required to report all the crimes that occur on campus, but when incidents like the ones we have seen occur all at once and students inevitably realize that there seems to be a lot going on that they are not aware of, questions can arise regarding the safety of our campus and the responsibility of the administration. In compliance with the Clery Act, the school publishes a pamphlet reporting the statistics for on-campus crimes that have occurred in recent years. It also includes general safetyinformation and recorrunendations for those living on and off campus. You can find them in the offices of the Assistant Dean and the Registrar, or you can find them on the school website Wlder Campus Resources - Assistant Dean- Campus Safety Brochure. According to the brochure, aside from alcohol and drug violations, there has been very litde crime on campus over the past few years, and that the crime rate has been declining. I seems likely, however, that m~my students are not even aware the brochure exists (or the law for that matter). Though the administration does comply with these laws in making the information available, student ignorance can raise questions regarding the administration's efforts to make students aware of what is going on around them, particularly when 2 cars and several bikes are sto- to be doing a good job of it so far-{)ne Febbie reports that the first week was such a blur he can barely remember it; while others add that they feel welcomed and have begun participating in various activities around the campus as well as immersing themselves in schoolwork. The class contains a few native 1\farylanders, as well as students hailing from as fur away as Texas and Great Britain. These students made the choice to take part in the Febbie program for a number of reasons, including later graduations and applications, delay of financial aid, and a claim that "February is my lucky month." Whatever the reason, we're just glad you're here. TheFebbie program itself has been officially discontinued as of ne.A"t year, and feelings on the issue are mixed. When questioned about the College's reasons for ending the program, Assistant Dean Judith Seeger replied that it is "very wonderful, but very intense." The program, having begun in the mid~ZO" century in order to reJill empty beds (and reJill College tuition coffers) halfway through the year, seems to have outlived its usefulness, and now academic concerns have become more pressing Because the January freshman year is a full six weeks shorter than that of the rest of the College, the Febbies miss out on a munber of the experiences that the rest of the polity is able to enjoy. They "famously'' do not read either Hemdotus' I-fistories Security continued on page 5 Febbies continued on page 3 �The Editors/ Page Ieditors-in-C:hief Mark F. McClay Aaron B. Roberts Tutor Appointment Process Senior Editors Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Layout and Design Anna I Iarvey Photographers Clark Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Kathleen Berntsen Liz Curry D.L. Ferrell Leo Pickens DanRera John Schuler Carolyn Walsh Jennifer Wright Pounded in 1980, the Gar(f/y is the student weekly &:;tributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opiniom; expressed within arc the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not nccessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadfly staff. The Garflfy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit f ,etters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadffy is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to stjohnsgadfly@gmail.com. 2 The Student Committee on Instruction wanted to make explicit the manner in which students may express their opinion regarding a specific tutor. The following is an excerpt from the Handbook that outlines all procedure for such tutor-related matters. Concerning letters, the Instruction Committee's policy is as follows: i. Letters are neither encouraged nor discouraged, but they will be read by the Committee. ii. They will be kept confidential; in particular, they will not be shown to the candidate. iii. Letters may be positive, or negative, or both, but should be as specific as possible, avoiding general praise and condemnation. iv. Letters must come from individuals and must be written from personal knowledge and conviction, so that v. Circulation of petitions, group coordination ofletter-writing, and any canvassing for or solicitation ofletters are inappropriate. Student Committee on Instruction SJC Film Society Three orders of business: 1. A number of SJC community members have approached me with a short fihn they'd like played before one of the movies on Saturday night. The St. John's College Motion Picture Society has decided instead to hold a student/tutor fihn screening night on which all of the short ftlms will be shown. If you have a film that you would like to show, please send it to Aaron Brager, Campus Mail. We can accept films in the following formats: DVD, VCD, VHS, 35mm, 16mmm, mini-DV. Regrettably, we cannot show films shot in Betamax unless you are able to provide a Betamax player. 2. I am pleased to announce that I\1r. J'viatthew Shear will be the archon of the Motion Picture Society next year. He will be assisted by . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I\1r. Schulyer Sturm, who is the archon of the Tuesday Night Fights. 3. If you haven't received it already, you should be getting a schedule in campus mail soon. Aaron Golding Brager Lecture: Aristotle and Newton Tutors Mark Sinnett and William Braithwaite will engage in a public dialogue Friday, January 27 at 8:15P.M. They've titled their presentation, ''Aristotle and Newton on Motion." They offer the following introduction and summary. "We've been meeting weekly for about two and a half years to talk about the relation between Aristotle's Physics and Newton's Principia. What set us going was a desire to explore the differences between Aristotle's non-mathematical account of motion and Newton's mathematized account. Behind this question, or underlying it, was our interest in where mathematics comes from, what it's made of, and what it really is: how is mathematics the study of the learnable things (which is what ta mathemata means in Greek)? "In the beginning, we worked on Newton; in the second year, on Aristotle; then we went back and forth between them. The particular questions that have come to the foreground for us are infinity and continuity- what they are, the relation between them, and how each fits into the different but somehow connected projects the two men set for themselves. "We've decided that a good place to begin the conversation is Zeno's paradoxes, ancient puzzles about motion which seem to be generally well-known, and which are mentioned by Aristode at important points in the Physics. We'll probably start with Achilles and the Tortoise or the Flying Arrow. Then we'll talk about how Newton deals with the problems the paradoxes raise. Along the way, we hope to say a few things about the powers and limitations of each of these two very different ways of trying to see and understand the supposedly familiar world around us. "If the conversation goes in that direction -we hope it will- we'll also talk about about �the ways Aristorle and Newton begin their respective inquiries, and about how they end them. Aristotle's Physics ends, as his trarislator Joe Sachs puts it, on the doorstep of metaphysics, and he continues the inquiry in his book with this subject-word as its title; Newton ends with the so-called General Scholium, in which he seems to put aside metaphysical questions as unanswerable. Does Newton thereby implicitly concede that mathematics, for all its power, has nevertheless a limited horizon? "There will be some mathematics in our presentation, but none that cannot be followed by anyone with a lively curiosity about the issues who can be attentive for an hour and a quarter. "The conversation will be spontaneous but not un-meditated; that is, we have planned the topics we hope to touch on, and in genera~ an orderly sequence of their unfolding, but we will not have rehearsed nor will we be speaking from written texts. Probably we'll have a hand-out; we may or maynotuse slides projected on the screen. Students may find it useful to bring their copies of the Physics and, if they have it, also the Principia. We will ourselves likely be referring frequenrly to the texts, our rhetorical aim being that this conversation, despite its public character and the auditorium venue, be as close as circumstances permit to the private conversations we've been stimulated by for the past 30 months." Please join us for this special dialogue, reminiscent of Galilee, if not of Plato. Michael Dink Dean Febbies continued from front page or Plato's Parmetddes, and many of the other readings are condensed out of necessity. They have no time off from classes for freshman essay-writing. and the attrition rate of Febbies is fur higher that than of the rest of the polity. Additioruilly, after the rigors of Febbiesummer,manyof the students are exhausted and have only three weeks to recuperate before returning for sophomore year. That said, 1\1s. Seeger also noted a certainesprit de corps among the Febbies, and many of them spoke out vehemently against the program's discontinuation - among them Chris Aamot, Director of Student Services and Santa FeFebbie alum. "I can understand why they've chosen to end it," he says, "but I wouldn't have done it New Publications by Kathleen Berntsen, '09 It looks like the world of Johnnie publications has some new voices to look f01ward to in the near future. Two new publications are coming out, giving two new opportunities for students to express themselves in print. Samantha Enns is the creator, the editor-inchief, and currently the solo staff member of Swerve, a new literary magazine devoted to a comprehensive view of student writers here on campus.1-'ls. Enns decided to start this magazine when she and her friends were discussing the lack of a casual creative writing outlet. ''We wanted something informal in the sense of inclusive, something students can be comfortable submitting their work to;' Ms Enns stated. She wanted students to be able to submit their work to a different sort of publication from the Gadfly. "It makes sense to have something separate to allow for a different tone." That different tone is illustrated even in the title of the publication, named for Lucretius' slightly fantastic theory of the creation of differentiation. The theory claims that the universe was created when a normally static particle "swerved" to crash into another and start the Big Bang. ''We're trying to say that it's okay to be silly, and it's okay to be ridiculous. That's what the atom swerving is, it's a little ridiculous." Before getting started on her endeavor, .Miss Enns spoke to Assistant Dean Judith Seeger, who informed her that a student-based literary magazine, The Collegian, already existed here at St. John's in years past.:i\-Iiss Enns, along with most people she spoke to, had never seen an issue of The Collegian, which gave her one more reason to create Swerve. Next she ran her idea by director of student services Chris Aamot. "As we're such a small school, we like to encourage any student to do anything they feel strongly about." Iv!r. Aamot explained. "The college tties to support most creative ourlets." Miss Seeger and lv!r. Aamot try to help student groups with financing as much as possible, but most funds are found through the Delegate Council They do allot more money for publications than for other kinds of student activities, as tl1ey cost more to create and are given away for free. 'We're hoping the student body will view Swerve as a forum for light-hearted piecesnot necessarily literati," J\,fiss Seeger says. "It will fill a certain niche here as an outlet to share with the community." About the future of Swerve, Miss Enns wants to stick with creative writing, though students may submit whatever they want. The other publication making its debut soon is the Bell & Hammer, an uncensored, nonschool-affiliated literary magazine run by Jennifer Wright and Max Socol. Unlike Swerve, Bell & Hammer won't include serialized stories, but instead consist of longer pieces. It's open to poetry, fiction, art, and essays and (also unlike Swerve), will be selective and include more polished, ambitious writings . Additionally Bell & Hammer 'vill be rewarding $50 to the author of their favorite submission. 1\Jiss Wright and 1\Jr. Socol hope to release the first issue in about two months. [the St. John's program] any other way." Citing the sense of conununity and intensity that he felt as a Febbie, 1\.fr. Aamot said he was sad to see the program go. All agree that the year is intense, but sophomore Daniel Wheatley believes that this program is part of what makes St. John's a unique and special place. ''Wtthout it," he said, "I probably wouldn't have been able to come here." RaduelBoyce says that if a Febbie makes the most of it, Freshman year, particularly the intimate summer setting, can be an amazing experience. "Once a Febbie, always a Febbie,'' seems to be the general feeling, and although the program will continue at Santa Fe, many of our own community are sorry to see it discontinued here in Annapolis. "1r The Mitchell Art Gallery ......- presents John Diebboll: The Art of the Piano: 'Solos at St. John's College' Opening after seminar, January 26,2006 There will be snacks and piano playing by the most talented Max Farago. If you are interested, come to the Art Society meetings at 4:00 on Friday afternoons in the fishbowl to have a say in our activities and planning events, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Jen-Sais-Quoi: You Must Really Love Hitler by Jennifer Wright, '08 Staff Writer I noticed that the Febbies have just arrived and joined us, and it suddenly occurred to me that they perhaps had not yet acquainted themselves with the spirit who lurks and capers about seminars and tutorials who I like to call 'Dolphy. Now, 'Dolphy loves Hitler. He loves to talk about Hitler. Hitler in the morning, Hitler in the evening, Hitler at suppertime. 'Dolphy makes all kinds of amazing connections because of this bizarre fascination. Now, that would be well and good, if 'Dolphy existed only peripherally in the corporeal realm, flitting to and fro as a kind of second rate Virgil who only talked about Hitler. But the horrible thing ts that 'Dolphy can take control of seemingly rational individuals and force them, kicking and screaming, to bring Hitler in to their arguments. You'll probably get to witness this first hand when at some point you say something like "Odysseus is a bit of a trickster! Also, he seems like he might be a pathological liar! I like that! He's wily!" And a classmate across the room crosses their arms and states, knowingly, "Hitler was a trickster. He tricked the Jews into the Holocaust." Your argument is now dead, because someone brought up Hitler. Also, the Holocaust. I have a friend who attempted to have the last word at this point and said, "Yeah? Well, Hitler did some good stuff, too." He did, indeed, have the last word, though rather not the way he hoped to. I've heard that most members of his freshman lab class still don't speak to him and worry amongst themselves that he has Nazi leanings. 4 I'm inclined to think that my friend did have a bit of a point though, which is perhaps why so many people cringe when you mention Hitler. I recently told a freshman that, unless we were having a seminar entitled ''Adolph Hitler, what an interesting person! Let's talk about him!" Hitler should never, ever, be brought up. The freshman appeared baffled by my conclusion. "Why?" he asked, "Hitler is a perfectly logical person to bring up." Ap- everything Hitler had ever done in his entire life was evil. But unfortunately for argumentative purposes, he was human, and as such, possessed human traits. Thus I can also bring up a wide variety of human traits and they will become, by Reductio ad Hitlerum really, really evil. For instance, if you say, "I like cupcakes!" I can reply, glumly, to allow you to absorb the full force of my response "Hitler ate cupcakes." Now cupcakes are evil. This is not, in fact, true, as every~ one knows that cupcakes ~ are wonderful. You will m note I didn't even dare write "Hitler liked cupcakes" merely that he ate i\ them, for fear that some:'; one would read it, and the next time they ate a cupcake they would think about how Hitler had enjoyed something they were currently enjoying, and they would not be able to enjoy that cupcake anymore. However, I think the logic session sophomore year will teach you (horribly) that since Hitler was human and all humans like cupcakes, Hitler liked cupcakes too. He probably licked the frosting off first, and relished the feel of the sprinkles on his tongue just the way you do- but try not to let it impair your cupcake-eating pleasure. However, the most bizarre thing is when people liken characters that could not possibly have shared Hitler's ideology to Hitler. It's not true that anyone felt that Odysseus was a trickster like Hitler, but I did hear in passing someone compare Melthanius out of the Odyssey (he was the opportunistic goatherd in case you've forgotten him - I know I did) to Hitler, after some girl said that she could kind of see where 11elthanius was coming from. I'm inclined to think that the Hitler/Melthanius comparison is a bit off, and by '(a bit off" I mean <(nuttier than a box of crackerjacks." Unless 1vlelthanius I " parently the freshman class had not yet been educated on Godwin's Law, which states, more or less, that Nazi analogies are bad news. Why is this the case? Well, largely because Hitler has become - perhaps fairly- synonymous with the Devil. Now, in making him our official representative of evil incarnate everything he does becomes evil by extension. This can, on the surface, seem pretty useful. If you exclaim, "I like killing people!" I could perhaps reply, "Hitler liked killing people." And since Hitler did it, you would know it was evil, and stop. Actually, you probably would not stop, but that is beside the point. Regardless, this would be a fine argumentative tactic if . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...... . �was supporting the suitors because felt they would support his nationalistic, post World War One ideals and eliminate ihe elders of Zion, that is. Which I don't think he was doing, since he lived in ancient Greece. The mention of Hitler in this scenario was not only "a bit off," it was pretty insulting to the girl who liked Melthanius. And frankly, it's insulting to Hitler. Because Hitler did not work that hard to be that evil to be compared to a minor character in the Odyssey, who no one (and by no one I refer to myself) really remembers anyway. I admit that I do have a childish hope that at some point someone will just come out and call someone else Hitler. It would save them the trouble of having to imply in an indirect way that the person likes things that have some connection with Hitler, and they are therefore a Nazi. For instance, when the girl said she kind of saw where Melthanius was coming from instead of saying "Melthanius reminded me of Hitler," Her dialectic opponent should have just said, "You must love Hitler, then." And when the girl said, "What? I don't love Hitler. Are you on crack?" he should have replied, "Spoken like someone who really loves Hitler and wants to have ten million of his Nazi goose-stepping babies." It's only when such a discourse occurs that people will see how silly invoking Hitler really is. Until it does though, I think the best you can do is to try to be vigilant in keeping 'Dolphy at bay. No matter how much he tries to worm his way into you, don't mention Hitler. Or, for that matter the Nazis. Really. I'vfention terrorists instead. Because no one will ever see that substitution coming. .,._..- Interested in working with the The Gadfly? Tuesdays at 5:00 BBC Basement Security continued from front page len and the polity finds itself largely uninformed. Both car thefts happened over Christmas break. Brian Jones, one of the victims, was notified of the robbery two days after Christmas by security. The Annapolis Police had contacted them when the car had been towed after it was found abandoned downtown. In both instances, however, the thefts seemed relatively professional in their execution, doing the job quickly and avoiding the security patrols. Jones commented "TI1ere's not much [security] could have done to stop it". This was the primary reason lvfs. Seeger did not bother to notify students immediately of these incidents, in addition to all the other messages we have received from her and security since we have returned. Those cars could have been stolen just as easily out of your driveway at home, so there was little constructive advice to be given. The fact is, these crimes can happen to us, and these particular incidents simply seem to indicate that we need to be aware of our safety and be prepared to take responsibility for our well being. "It's easy for us to get complacent," 1Vls. Seeger commented. Our security force is dedicated to keeping the students safe, and they do a good job as evidenced by the statistics in the college crime report; however, there are still risks. Security works hard to maintain their patrols on campus, but they cannot be everywhere, and thus we must be prepared to look out for ourselves and for each other. We do have a number of advantages, though, the greatest of which is our security force. They are actual college employees, not rent-a-cops, allowing them to provide a lot of different services to those on campus and making them much more integral to the college community. They can be contacted 24 hours a day by dialing ext. 2000 and provide many services on campus such as an on campus escort service (many of these can be found in the Campus Safety Brochure, which you should read). We are also a very small community, which makes it easier for security and the administration to keep track of individual students. Students, however, need to be looking out for themselves and one another as well. This ignorance and negligence is probably one of the greatest threats to the safety of our selves and our property here. Security sends out notices about the safety of back campus several times each year. 'Ibough it is easy to ignore them, the incident late Friday night before last, however, is evidence enough that security is serious about these notices. Back campus is a remote area with very little lighting and no buildings that are in use after dark. Also the patrol routes down there are much farther away from the routes that cover the rest of campus. So, when security tells you not to got wandering on back campus, by yourself, after dark, don't go wandering on back campus, by yourself, after dark (and yeah, I know it is fun to sit on the docks at night, but it's also fun not getting mugged or shot). There are many other considerations that security works to bring to our attention and it is important that we listen and respond accordingly. We've all been guilty of propping the back doors of Pinkney open for a quick run to the laundry room, but this is in fact a serious safety risk. In light of recent events, steps have been taken to make campus safer. Security has made efforts to increase patrols around key areas of campus and make security officers a more visible presence. :Ms. Seeger also mentioned that plans have recently been approved to increase the security force as well. Such measures should help keep our campus more secure, but the burden lies on us to ~ake sure our actions do not undermine their efforts. Individually, there is much that we can and ought to do as well. Regarding property, our things will not be at great risk if they are properly secured. This includes locking up cars and bikes and locking rooms as well. Security strongly encouraged students to lock bikes in rooms over break. If anything does happen, immediately report it to security, bringing as much information on stolen items (descriptions, serial numbers, etc.) or details of the incident as possible. Likewise, if you notice any susptc10us persons on campus or anything out of the ordinary, immediately report those to security as well. The Campus Security Brochure provides many recommendations for student safety, including precautions students can take while off campus, and students are strongly encouraged to read it. The most important things we can do, though, are being more aware of our selves and our surroundings, paying attention to security's notifications, and following their advice. q,- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �An Apology (In the Classical Sense) by Dan Rera, '06 Staff Writer So there I was, relaxing in my slippers, drinking coffee, and keeping my finger on the pulse of the St. John's intellectual community by reading the Gadfly, when all of a sudden I found myself under attack. Although unaware of it at the time, I had apparently written a baseless article, and a fellow student was quick and eager to show me where I had erred. I was so pleased when I first saw the article. "Wow," I thought, "a reply to my article about depleted uranium and white phosphorus, this is so exciting!" It was exciting mostly because I couldn't believe someone had actually read one of my articles. I was also excited because I didn't actu- ally want what I had written to be true and would have loved nothing more than to have been told that I was being bamboozled by a bunch of slick liberals who were using these humanitarian hoaxes to further a MarxistLeninist agenda. I would loved to admit thati was wrong, especially if it meant that no one was being harmed by these terrible, frightenmg super-weapons. Unfortunately, I had no such luck. I had, instead, misspoken (or I guess I should say, miswrote). I said that the United States brought chemical weapons to Iraq and used them on the insurgents and civilians. I evoked the term "chemical weapons" when I should have said terrible, frightening super-weapons. And for this, I apologize. J\1r. Fairchild was right to point out that a chemical weapon is one whose use is purposefully harming combatants with their chemical properties. And in this way, DU and WP are NOT chemical weapons. Honestly, I had used the term to mean a weapon that is made of chemicals, but upon further inspection, I realized I could call a brass bullet an atomic weapon by the same reasoning. So I suppose I wasn't scrupulous enough in selecting my words. There are a few things, however, I do find important to cite in my defense. First and foremost, I made the claim the United States was acting as a stem father figure by punishing Iraq with the use of dangerous weapons. I assumed that most of my readers would recognize a claim like this as satire and not an analogy, and most did. :tvfr. Fairchild, however, must have assumed I was serious about the comparison. No sane person could 6 believe the U.S. intended to discipline the Iraqi population by poisoning them slowly with radiation. Also, I recognize that the military derives an advantage by using DU tipped munitions for the sake of better bullets and not to systematically poison the civilian populace. To think otherwise would characterize the army as sadists, which I don't think that they are (see point about satire above). Moreover, I never said that the U.S.'s use of DU ought to be done away with in order to "level the playing field for the enemy." I tlllnk anyone who got this impression must have intentionally misunderstood me for the sake of making my point seem sillier than it was. The otl1er linkJ\1r. Fairchild provided is to a study conducted by a corporation contracted by the United States govenunent for the purpose of furthering nuclear technology. Needless to say, Sandia National Labs does not seem like the most impartial source of information on the subject of DU safety. The government has released flawed documents justifying the use of DU in the past, and there have been potent public figures virulently challenging these findings. (For an example of this go to www.danfahey.com) Because I don't have the time to address every misunderstanding between my article and J\1r. Fairclllid's characterization thereof, I encourage anyone doubting my facts to Google the followlngphrases: ''NasiriyahDU" and "yes incendiary weapon" and go to the pages: (http:/ /www.sundayherald.com/32522) and (http:/ I seattlepi.nwsource.com /iraq 2002/ 95178_du12.shtml). But all these minor points are really unimportant in comparison with the real issue, the harming of innocent civilians in pursuit of an unnecessarily belligerent foreign policy. It doesn't matter if innocent Iraqis die from chemical weapons, nuclear weapons, incendiary weapons or conventional weapons. It offers me no more comfort that we are killing innocent people legally, instead of illegally. The fact that people can recognize the notion of tyranny suggests that the law does not always reflect moral tenets. Just because something is legal doesn't mean it isn't wrong.~ THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SCI: Forum on Tutor Tenure by Liz Curry, '07 1\Jembers present: Beall, Wilford, Curry, Geannikis, Utter, Croker, Hurst, Goguen, Elkins. Approximately 20 students were in attendance as well. Mr. Croker, leader of the Subcommittee on Student-Tutor Relations, opened this forum on the tutor tenure process with a presentation of basic information, which he and Nir. Wilford learned from an interview with :tvfs. Seeger. He gave a brief of the five criteria on which each tutor is judged, first by the Instruction Committee, who recommends their judgement to the Dean, who then makes the final decision (which must be ratified by the Board of Visitors and Governors). In order of importance, these criteria are (1) excellence of intellect and imagination, (2) competence in the St. John's program, (3) excellence in the running of a classroom, (4) commitment to the St. John's program, and (5) sensitiveness to and involvement in the St. John's community. The SCI members and other students present had many questions about these criteria, and how the students are involved in the process. How is a tutor's "excellence of intellect and imagination" judged? What is the central purpose of St. John's, and do these criteria reflect that purpose? \Vhy is the excellence in the running of a classroom third on the list? Are married tutors with children at a disad~ vantage by not being as visible and involved in campus activities? In what ways can students get involved, and in what ways are they consulted? :tvfany of these questions were answered by Mr. Croker and Mr. Wilford's information (to be published in a more detailed form within a few weeks). Ms. Beall and Mr. Wilford will make the concerns raised in the forum known to the Dean. The Student Committee on Instruction meets Thursdays at 11:45 a.m. in the Private Dining Room. All members of the polity are invited to attend! ~ �The Author of America by John Schuler, '09 Christopher Hitchens, in his recent biography of Thomas Jefferson, argues that Jefferson served "not [to] invent or 'dream' America. He more or less designed and built it." Hitchens begins with Jefferson's last letter, which provides a view of America as Jefferson saw it at the end of his life, and his hope for the future of the country. Hitchens, in his comparison of the America Jefferson knew at his death in 1826 with modem America, emphasizes· the need to understand Thomas Jefferson as an important player in the early years of the American experiment. Hitchens uses this idea as a backdrop for his exploration ofJefferson as an historical figure. Hitchens shows a sharp difference between Jefferson's stated goals and his private ones. Perhaps this is most telling in his repeated assertions that he would seek no further political office, even though he took new posts on several occasions after such statements (ostensibly responding to the requests of his peers). Hitchens also is careful not to presentJefferson in an idealized manner. \V'hile he is a respectful biographer, he does not hide any of the less admirable aspects of his subject. Indeed, Hitchens goes into some detail regardingJefferson's infamous affair with Sally Hemmings, a slave whom Jefferson inherited through his wife and with whom he later had a sexual liaison. By avoiding the censorial tendencies of socalled "damage control historians," Hitchens skillfully captures Jefferson's complexity as an imperfect human being. Hitchens states that Jefferson "contained contradictions or paradoxes [but this] is true of everybody and everything." Ultimately, he writes about the man and not the legend that is often made of revolutionaries. temporary Islamic terrorists on the basis of their militant viewpoint. T11e Barbary pirates believed that the Koran required them to enslave those who did not submit to Islam. Hitchens uses anumber of current political terms (such as "unilateral") to describe Jefferson's use of force against the Barbary states during his presidency. The attempt to recast a military action against the Barbary states, which supported piracy, as an action against militant Islam seems slightly forced. In addition, Hitchens often seems to judge Jefferson too much by the standards of our era rather than by those of his own. He goes to great lengths to demonstrate the hypocrisy of Jefferson's well-known views on slavery: he was both a slave owner and an opponent of the slave trade (Like most people of his era, Jefferson held racist beliefs. Hitchens accuses Jefferson of subscribing to a "half-baked pseudo-anthropology" with respect to his views on the practices of Native Americans). Overall Hitchens is more positive than negative in his portrayal of Jefferson. "If the American Revolution, with its secularism, its separation of powers, its Bill of Rights, and its gradual enfranchisement of those excluded or worse at its founding, has often betrayed itself at home and abroad, it nevertheless remains the only revolution that still retains any power to inspire," Hitchens writes. Jefferson is a complex character; if one wishes to understand him, one must examine him within the context of his equally complex era. Christopher Hitchens' book is an accessible and enjoyable introduction to the intricacies of Jefferson in his varied roles as statesmen, thinker, and revolutionary. '!l.lr' PHER HITCHENS Jefferson is overall an enjoyable read; it is wellwritten, with an engaging narrative. However, there are certain moments in the biography in which it is clear that Hitchens' own political views affect his reading of many of the events of Jefferson's time. For example, Hitchens seems identify the Barbary pirates with con. . Thomas Jefferson: Author of America. By Christopher Hitchens, HarperCollins. 208 Pages. $19.95. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 .... . . .. .. .. . . . .. .. ..... . .. . .. .. .. ... - - -- - - -- -- - - - - -- -- -- - -- - - - Johnnie Quotes of the Week Athletes of the Week Ms. G: You can't live in a theoreti- : : cal universe, Mr. K. . . Mr. K: Maybe not, but I can damn : : welltry. : : : . : . : : Mr. S: You always hear people saying that more people have been killed in the name of religion than for any other reason, but I don' t think that's really the biggest cause. Mr. M: What do you think it is then? Mr. S: Math. No question. I'm convinced of it. (On Euclid Book X and incommensurability) : : : : . . : : . Miss Nisch : . Mr. T: You can procrastinate later. DATE DUE I '-------___. Tutor: I don't think it's clear whether : : this conditional is a Future More Vivid : or a Future Less Vivid. Mr.Tomarchio Mr. S: Maybe it's a Future More- : : Or-Less Vivid? .------- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --. You Make the Call: 5 endyour memorable Johnnie bloopers to the : Gadfly via campus mail, or : : stjohnsgad11y@gmailcom : Last week's puzzler was first answered correctly by Mr. MacLean: the basket you shoot on to begin the game is the basket at the opposite end of the court from your team's bench. And now for this week's teaser: in basketball, a player dribbles and comes to stop and then throws the ball against the official and begins dribbling again. Is this legal? First one to me with the right call goes to the bookstore on me. You may leave your answer on my voicemail, x2558. 8 I I Mr. K: I think this thing is probably : : close enough for jazz. Mr. J: That would be fine, except : : we were going for neutral equilibrium. : . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource McClay, Mark F. (Editor in Chief) Roberts, Aaron B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 14 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2006-01-26 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 14 of The Gadfly. Published January 26, 2006. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.14 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/f2a2f36e3391bcb19de63dcb592f82a0.pdf 55a013d11bdd7b634cadf6a8a7ebe29a PDF Text Text ST JOHN'S COLLEGF: LIBRARY ,_ IIIIIIllIllIIIll il[~l li\l l l~l l(l \1 1 IllIIIllIllIIIII /i _.) ( 3 1696 01137 3584 GADFLY lHE The St. John r College Student Week!) Volume XXVII, Issue 15 Annapolis, Maryland February 2, 2006 What's So Bad About Recruiters? by Ian "Fuzz" King, '06 Fixing the Common Rooms by Brie Aines, '08 1vfany students were happily surprised when, upon returning from winter break, they discovered the new and extremely comfortable set-up in the Campbell basement common room, which is the fttst common room to have been refurbished by the Campus Planning Committee. With about fifteen members, the Campus Planning Committee is the largest faculty committee at the college. It received a grant from an anonymous donor which equaled approximately 10 thousand dollars and was meant to go specifically towards restoring the common rooms on campus. After examining various common rooms and speaking to students, committee members Katherine Heines, Chris Aamot and Reenie Craven suggested the common room in Campbell to be the first to receive treatment, noting its tattered furniture and bleakly-colored walls. Since the refurnishing, a visitor to the Campbell common room is as likely to find an actual dweller of that dorm as someone who lives elsewhere. Junior Chris Krueger was studying in the common room while doing laundry, though it was the leather couches, which he calls "swell," that largely enticed him to stay. As of yet, the fumishings in the common rooms are the only parts to have been redone; but the committee plans also to repaint the room, fix the patio doors and eventually double-up the wall between the common room and the apartment of Senior Resident Nina Carrieri. Only the fttst of those goals is scheduled to be completed this fiscal year, and approximately 7 thousand dollars have already been spent on the Campbell common room. The other common rooms receiving the committee's attention are the two in Humphreys, the residents of which know what they would like to see once the dorm's Fixing continued on page 3 I need to say that I am disappointed, severely so. This is not why I am writing this article, though; I am disappointed on a regular basis. I am also aggravated, which rarely happens; overall I believe that I am a genial even-tempered individual. Throughout my term here and especially this year, I have seen and heard of a number of actions which are rude, childish, and should be beneath people who claim to be members of our community and capable of contemplating and understanding what we cover here. Public property keeps getting defaced or destroyed or it sim~ ply disappears, non-public property is stolen from common areas or even from people's rooms with an increasing frequency. 1l1ese things are a common occurrence, they are indeed disappointing, and they could easily anger someone. However, these actions happen everywhere and I realize that the people here are usually immature children when they arrive and there is nothing here at St. John's that forces them to become anytlllng more than that. So I accept it in relative silence and do what I GU1 so that I am affected as little as possible. Rarely is my ire raised; however, the actions of the polity have incensed me to a point that I finally felt something needed to be said - or in this case, written. We were visited by two members of the army last week. Recruiters. The appellation brings with it a bad taste in the mouths of some. They are seen as the enemy, the people who take away our brothers and sons and fill their minds wid1 bravado and propaganda, so much so that they go off to die. They are part of the larger enemy: the Evil American 1vfilitary, that giant entity that enRecruiters continued on page 5 �THE Letters & Announcements ~GADFLY Editors-in-Chief Mark F. McClay Aaron B. Roberts Senior Editors Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Layout/Design BrieAines Anna Harvey Photographers Clark Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue BrieAines Rachael Bartgis Kelvin Chung Liz Curry Nathan Gates Ian King Leo Pickens Jennifer Wright Founded in 1980, the Gadf!J is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the office~ at the St. John's Santa l'c campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadfly staff. The Gadf!J reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those lont,TCr than this limit. Letters submittnl will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadf!J is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they arc legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to stjohnsgadfly@grnail.com. Planning Committee: Take Care of Common Rooms As you may have noticed, the Campus Planning Committee is in the process of improving many of the common rooms around campus. We have made changes to Campbell's Baldwin Room and will soon do the same in the Chase-Stone basem ent . This is just the beginning of improvements we intend to make to nearly all of the common rooms around campus in the near future. We are making these improvements because we have a high regard for this community, and think it important to have attractive and welcoming spaces in which to converse, study, and socialize. It is our hope and expectation that those using the common rooms will share this sen se of value, and work with us in improving and maintaining the condition of the common rooms. You are responsible for the condition of these rooms. Security does not patrol inside the dorms, and thus it is incumbent on each campus resident to respect the community's common spaces and to e ncourage his or her peers to do so. As the community m embers show their dedication to each other in this way, improvements will continue through all of our campu s facilities. Chris Aamot, Director of Student Services Katherine Heines, Tutor Reenie Craven, Registrar NP: M: 9-4:30 T: 12-6:30 W:9-4:30 RN: T/F: 9-1 2-6-06 (Long Weekend): RN:9-1 Archimedes Rap: "On da Equilibrium of Planes" by Rachael Bartgis, '09 Trash Talk Yo, yo yo, I'm here to represent my bad boy Archimedes. Seems that brotha's got a bad rep, so I'm here to tell you about equilibrium straight out. Let me begin. (1) Equal weights at equal distances are in a f+'**in' balance called by Archie equilibrium. It don't take lotsa talent to them postulate that equal weights unequal in their length from the fulcrum aren't balanced: brod1as lean towards the great. (2) If your weights at equal distances are knocked up outta line by addin' dope on just one side, towards the greater they incline. (3) If equal weights at equal distances get wasted on one side then the weights lean outta wack towards that weight that wasn't fried. Trash talk Eurika, mothaft-** a!. Next postulate! This s*** is dope. 2 Health Center Hours: . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (4)Like my nizzle Euclid told me 'bout plane figures equal, wut, and the b****es also similar, you coincide that smut. Then whatever shape them b****es bust, the centers of their weight also coincide. That's ft-**ed up! But phat Archie shoots it straight. (S)If ya figures are unequal but still similar we'd say that d1e centers of their weight will still b e similar, ft-** yeayh. (6)Say some magnitudes at distances are hangin' balanced, ho, Equidistant magnitudes will hang the same w hen equal, bro. (!) My perimeter is concave all around my ft-**ing side so the center of my weight mus't be within my concave pride. Yo, yo! Brotha Archie laid the laws down; dumped the fulcrum in a ditch. Now my logic clip is loaded and d1e lever is my b****. �SCI: Algebra and Junior Math by Liz Curry. '07 J\1embers present Beall, Wilford, Utter, Hurst, Elkins, Goguen, men ted that part of the problem might lie in the fact that the switch Curry, Owens. Also present: 1ft. Kelly, I'vliss Gar.rigle. from geometry to algebra in Sophomore year is rather hasty and confusFollowing up on conversations from last semester, last week's topic ing. :r-.,fr. Utter mentioned :Mr. Comenetz's book Calculus: The Eleof discussion was the mathematics tutorial- specifically Junior Math. ments, and suggested that some students might find this resource J'vfiss Beall asked :NG:. Kelly, a math assistant, if he saw any patterns in the helpful. Ms. Beall agreed, saying that the examples :rvfr. Comentez's types of questions students have about math, particularly Junior Math. book outlines better represent the actual origin of calculus by presentHe said that he has noticed that a large problem people seem to have lies ing physical problems before geometric representations. The mad1 in understanding the algebraic manual, she and 1vfr. Hurst both steps laid out in the math manual. commented, stays closely tied to He commented that if the steps geometrical examples and explana~ The Student Committee on Instruction in the manual were to be better tions, which may produce a depenmeets Thursdays at 11:45 a.m. in the filled out, this would not be as dence on the geometry that is not much of a problem. conducive to nnderstandingprobPrivate Dining Room. Other questions are of a more lems of greater difficulty. All members of the polity are invited to theoretical nature, particularly In a way, the committee agreed, attend. Newton's notion of taking the the primary dilemma of Junior limit. Mr. Wilford suggested that 1vfath is its double function- it is a summer packet could be put supposed to present something together that would provide Sophomores with a review of algebra and interesting in its own right, and also to prepare students for Junior and an overview of the calculus, so that they would be better prepared for Senior Lab. Because of this, a more definite pace must be kept in this Junior Year. 1'1r. Kelly suggested that in addition to this packet algebra tutorial than in others, while the philosophical import of the calculus as review classes could be held for Juniors at the beginning of first semes- an idea in itself must also be thought through. It seems that the necester to increase the general level of proficiency in the language. These sity of balancing these two goals must be kept in the Jmllor 1hth classes would focus on getting students comfortable mainly with alge- tutorial. The SCI will keep these questions in mind and at a later time braic manipulation, i.e. following an algebraic proof. Mr. Hurst com- present them to the Dean and Instruction Committee.~ Fixing continued from page 1 common rooms have been redone. ''We really need counter space," said freshman Chris Thorn. ''\Ve'd like to have a functional kitchen." Again, however, painting is the only treatment that Hwnphreys is likely to receive this year. The greatest obstacle that the committee has faced in attempting to revamp the common rooms has been the lack of money. The project of fixing the second quad between the library and Paca-Carroll, which doubles as the roof of the library basement, has become the largest drain of resources for the school, as efforts are being made to find a feasible plan of repair. Other projects that the committee has tended to this year include the repainting, re-flooring and addition of a new rug to the private dining room. Should any students have suggestions, ideas, or questions about the restoration of the student common rooms, his or her best bet would be to contact Ms. Heines, l\1r. Aamot or committee chairman Nicholas Maistrellis. ~ Are you sick of seeing largetype space fillers in your Gadfly? Come Write For Us! Meetngs Tusdqys at 5:00 BBC 109 Send submissions to stjohnsgadfly@gmail.com . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Jen-Sais-Quoi: Of Toilet Paper and Orwell By Jennifer Wright, '08 The other day, I wandered out of my apartment's washroom and exclaimed, outraged, to my roommate that we had finally exhausted our once seemingly inexhaustible supply of toilet paper. "Oh," replied my roommate, "they sell it at the mini-mart. While you're there, could you pick up bread?" "How much does it cost?" I asked. "Toilet paper? I think about five dollars." "Five dollars! Highway robbery! It should be every man and woman's inalienable right to toilet paper!" lviy roommate pointed out that I'd been known to spend a hundred times that on a pair of shoes. ''But those were necessary," I replied, "it's silly t~ just throw money away on something frivolous like toilet paper." "Jennifer," my roommate replied, "it's toilet paper. It's one of the few things we actually need in order to have an agreeable life. We have to buy toilet paper. We have no other choice." If my roommate were a superhero, her magical power would be applying logic in everyday situations. "Not if we steal it!" I replied, "They have stockpiles of toilet paper on campus! I'm going to go bag us a herd of toilet paper!" "Rolls of toilet paper are not properly referred to as herds," said my roommate, "rather, they are gaggles. Like geese." I had no time for proper terminology, for I was on a mission! I was going to steal toilet paper! I carried with me a Victoria's Secret shopping bag, feeling certain that no security goards would dare check inside such a bag for vast reserves of pilfered toilet paper. As it happened, I ran into a fellow, and informed him of my intent to steal toilet paper. He replied, "You want toilet paper? Come over to my room. I've got about 10 extra rolls I've been trying to get rid of.'' At first I assumed this was maybe the worst pick-up line in the history of creation, and I thought about running away (if I were a superhero, my magical power would be running away from pick-up lines involving toilet paper faster than a frightened squirrel). But, what ho! I was already in a rebellious, bohemian toilet-paper stealing mood that day, so I followed him, and he did, indeed, have ten extra rolls of toilet paper. Because he has a posi- 4 tively palatial room in the basement of Campbell with its own private bathroom. So, I took them, and went back to my apartment, feeling that my mission was accomplished, and that we now have enough toilet paper to last us until ruinous damnation. This all made me think about how it is good to have vast reserves of toilet paper. Also, what kind of bribery took place to obtain that palatial room? Also, it made me think about theft. Everyone I mentioned the whole toilet paper stealing thing to agreed that they'd either stolen paper or else seriously considered it. No one suddenly leapt to attention when I mentioned my plan and told me that stealing was wrong. I think this might have been a different story if I had set off to bag myself a herd of Lamborghinis (unlike rolls of toilet paper Lamborghinis, when clustered, are properly referred to as herds, rather like elk). Both insofar as 1) bagging Lamborghinis would be about a billion times cooler than stealing toilet paper and 2) I would go to jail, probably because I would not be very good at hot wiring cars, and would be inclined to ask other people in the general vicinity for help, who would then call the police. I'd like to think that I'm generally not in favor of theft, although one of my all time favorite stories in the entire world regards George Orwell technically stealing things. The story goes like this: there was a period- before George was down and out in Paris and London, before he was keeping the aspidistra flying, before 1984- when George Orwell was young. He was actually 20, or somewhere thereabouts, when this story takes place, and he was very reclusive, and very odd. He decided around this time that he needed to get his first job, and he applied for one in a small bookstore. At first, they allowed him to work the register, but George insulted the customers and tried to refuse to sell them books that he felt they were incapable of appreciating. George was feisty like that. The manager, perhaps understandably, didn't like feisty. He wanted to make George a tool- a tool of the man. He wanted to make him dance like a puppet. So he told George that George's new job was to stock books once they got sold. He showed him the storeroom in the back where additional copies of any given novel were kept. George gasped in horror. The manager was perplexed, and asked him if he was alright. "I thought d1e ones on the shelves were the only ones" said George. ''In d1e store?" replied the manager. "In the world," replied George, with no discernable sense of humor. "They're not special anymore, are they?" George continued. "Just shelve the books when they get sold," replied the manager. The manager was callously depriving George's world of some of its magic! The next morning the manager drove up to the shop and found that George had liberated all the books in the storeroom into the street. He was throwing them to passerbys. He was also singing songs of freedom to them, and dancing about wildly in his underwear. Oh, George would dance alright, he would dance a fiery dance, but not when the man pulled the strings. This story is periodically cited by biographers who are trying to make a case for George Orwell being mildly autistic or suffering from Asperger's. I think they miss the point of the story. The point of the story is that George Orwell is absolutely magical, and that we could be as cool as him if we liberated books and danced in our underwear. I have however, heard that the police were called. Perhaps because George was dancing in the street in his underwear, but also because he was giving away- or rather, liberating- things that were not his to liberate. Of course, this in no way makes me say to myself, or to anyone else when they bring up Orwell, "he was a good author, but also, the most ftlthy and underhanded of thieves." It just makes me want to cuddle George Orwell and then go dance in the streets with him. However, if George laid a finger on any of my books, I'd push for d1e maximum penalty, dancing or no dancing. And, with the recent rash of thefts on campus, it's probably worth considering when theft stops being socially permissible and starts getting you demoted to an intemperate portion of Hell. Because there certainly seems to be a line that's crossed somewhere- though people must differ considerably on where that line falls and when it's been crossed. I only hope it doesn't fall on toilet paper. Or, for that matter, on freeing books brutally enslaved in back storerooms. CJr" . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Recruiters continued fl·om front page forces the will of the evil, republican, fascist, capitalist, pretentious, monolithic, American empire upon the poor defenseless world. Is this an accurate assessment of recruiters? It certainly is correct ifyou wish to ignore that they have a difficult-but-necessary job that is vital to our safety and survival; this I will touch upon later. But first let me go over from where my initial problem arises. There were fliers up around campus in the usual places to announce the coming of these recruiters. I assume that they were placed by either career services or the community services office. \Xlhich office or even who placed these fliers is unimportant. What is important is how these fliers were treated. They were burned with cigarettes or lighters and they were written upon. What was written cannot for the most part be reproduced in here (not because I personally have a problem with it, but due instead to the policies of the Gadfly concerning what language can and cannot be used). So you may have seen, or you can probably guess, what these terms were; but for the sake of clarification, "fascist" was used to describe them as well as the emphatic "don't die for them," along with a number of expletives. I have two concem.s arising form this. The first is the simple act of defacement. Tills should not happen no matter what the poster says. \Ve supposedly live in an environment that is meant to foster open conversation about all topics of discussion bar none. We are to show respect for the diverse opinions and understandings of those around us. I realize that this is in many ways absurd but I am going to quote the student hand book to show what we as students have supposedly committed to when we accepted the invitation to come here. ~<Jt. johnS is a communi!) if' learning. The tv/lege expects it.s members to c01![orm to standards if' civility that make tvmmunallift and work possible. Foremost amoflg these standards is respect for the persofl and property ofothers. This isfollowed closely by the obligation to maintain an orderjy and reasonabfy quiet atmo+ sphere conducive to studious refottion, and I!) the obligation to cooperate with others whose habits difftrfrom oneS own. The college does not tolerate failure to meet this standard, nor does it condone incivility in a'!Yform. Failure to abide I!) decent standards of civility mqy result in immediate expulsion from the dormitories or from the college. " We read great works and hopefully we are able to apply them to our lives and views. We have agteed to be civil to each other, and breaking this civility is to be met with the direst of consequences. Yet it is apparently acceptable to openly attack the views of others and abuse their property. The message boards armmd campus are tl1ere so that we can communicate with the polity and allow everyone to know what is going on in our small community. These are the property of those who posted them as well as the polity at large and they should be respected as such. 1l1ese defacements happen all the time, and I am also guilty of ignoring it. But a nerve was touched and something I truly care about was marred. We also have a reputation that we must work to keep clean. We should be known as con~ scientious, accepting thinkers-not as rude, judgmental, intellectual elitists. If this is how we treat our community and those who give us their time, I can only imagine how we treat others. I can now see why I get looks upon the street sometimes when! am wearing my St.John's shirt. We do not appear to be living up to those who came before us nor are we even above the lowliest of the society outside our school. I am tired ofhearing people berate and attack our military. I am particularly tired of people attacking anyone who is in the military. I said earlier that the job of the recruiter was necessary. Tbis is truer than ever before. The military is a necessity to our survival. It gave birth to our nation and continues to give us the option to live as we so desire to this day. The American military is <;:ompletely based upon volnnteers. This means that men and women have to choose of their own free will to enter into military service. If they chose to do this in large enough numbers, recruiters would not be necessary. However, as it now stands, this is not happening. So the recruiters have to find able bodied people and convince them to join up. Now we have heard stories recently about recruiters doing things that are questionable or even illegal. This is unfortunate, but I repeat that they have a difficult job and certainly will not be the first to use tactics that are not strictly by the book to get their job done. \Xlhile I do not condone this, I know that they will be reprimanded for their deeds, in most cases quite severely, and I think that it is unfortunate that it has come to this. Their job gets more difficult every year because the people in this country are given less and less reason to appreciate the rights and freedoms d1ey enjoy and remember why they are allowed this enjoyment. It is true that t11e recruiter does, in some manner, prey on people. They use the feelings that men have deep inside them to be protectors of those they love and what they care for. They use the desire to find theit; limits and become glorious heroes which many people have. The only thing the recruiter does is to remind men of their debt to their country, and bring out the repressed feelings of what it means to be a man. The United States of America does not force your service. It simply request that you volunteer some of your time to defend your country. With so much bad press and anti-military sentiment it is sadly very difficult to get enough men to staff our defense force. So these recruiters are forced to do what is necessary to get the job done. I fear that we forget what the job of the military is and why it is so important to our survival. 10 quote the oath which every :rv1arine swears when he agrees to his service: 'T do solemnly swear that I will support and defond the Constitution qf the United Stales against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear tme faith and allegiance to the same; that I will obry the orders rf the President if the United States and the orders of the !!lficers appointed owr me, according to regulations and the uniform code of military justke. So help me God" Every military man swears to uphold and defend the Constitution. This docmnent is the basis for our society; it was written to show us the path to take and make sure that we have an understanding of our rights and how we should be treated. I twas written to bind us together and create something greater than any single man. So when they swear to defend the Constitution they swear to defend each and every one of us. 1vfore importantly, recognize that they swear to obey the orders of their officers and the President; this means that they sign their decisions away. They go where they are told and do what they are told without question. TI1e reason I bring thls up is because men who are under this oath and are trained to do things in this way continue to come under attack from the people that they swear to defend. They do not choose to go to anywhere particular nor do they choose what they do when they get there. If you have a problem with the what and the where then take it up with your representative in the govenunent. On the defaced fliers, the demand ''don't die for them" was written. I am curious who 'them' is. I assume that it means the military or possibly the government. Admittedly I am not sure, though it does not matter who 'them' is. I have a revelation for those that wrote these words and any who agree with them. Never once has one of our servicemen died for 'them'. The only person they have died for is YOU, you and every other American who they have volunteered to swear to defend. We are who they fight for, we are who they kill for, we are who they are wounded for, Recruiters continued on next page . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Recruiters continued from page 5 we are who they sacrifice their lives for. T11ey do this because they believe deep within themselves that it is right and good. While we debate what The Good is for hours on end, they go and offer themselves up to its altar. \Vhile we cannot decide if Good exists, they prove it exists with evety breacl1 they take. They offer us everything they can and you do not have enough respect to even let them speak their peace or even walk down the street without sneering. These men fight and sometimes die so that you can sit at your pretentious little school and your coffee shops and call them any number of terrible things. It's sad, isn't it? I have a theory about those of you who act tills way and claim to hate the military, and those who choose to serve. You do not hate them; you hate yourselves. I claim that you are angry because you are cowards. You see great men who are willing to fight and die for something greater than themselves, willing to perform heroic deeds in the face of great danger simply because they believe in the simple virtues and freedoms upon which this country is founded. You look upon them and see something that you will never do. You are to afraid to attempt to be great, to do something worthwhile because it may cost you. You see that each and every one of these men and women are better than you shall ever become, even though they may not be as educated, some perform very mundane jobs, yet every single one of them deserves more respect and praise for just a short period of their life than you shall ever acquire. So before you point your finger and sling your abuse, take a look at what you have done with your life and the things that you have been allowed to enjoy. I believe that we should issue an apology to the man and woman who came here. They deserve our respect, not obscene words on a bulletin board. We should be ashamed of ourselves. It shames me that anyone who is a part of my community is capable of doing this. It saddens me that there are thieves on campus and that certain opinions and views are not able to be discussed with about abuse. It also saddens me that this article will be ignored by all the wrong people and may only exacerbate the problems that I have mentioned. So all I can leave you with are the immortal words of Jerry Springer: ''Be kind to yourself, and each other."~ 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . Point, Match, Set by Nathan Gates, '09 There is no 'Woody Allen character'' in Woody . Allen's Match Point- no one to make light of the characters' misery. Instead, the whole film centers on Chris Wilton (played by Jonathan Rhys-_Myers), an enigmatic young tennis teacher in London, and his troubled relationship with the wealthy Hewett family. Tom Hewett (~vfatthew Goode) develops an affection for Chris after his first tennis lesson, invites him to go to the opera with his family. Chris doesn't want to be a tennis pro forever, and now he may not have to be. Without doing much besides teaching a few free lessons and telling the story of his journey from Ireland to England, he wins the admiration of Tom's wealthy father (Brian Cox), who offers him a job, and of Tom's sister Chloe (Emily lvfort:imer), who wants to marry him. The only obvious problem is that he has already fallen in love with Tom's fiancee, the struggling American actress Nola Rice (Scarlett ] ohansson). At one point in the movie, Chris comments to the Hewetts that an amazing degree of importance can attach to whether a tennis ball goes over the net or bounces back to you (I might add that a lot can also depend on what you're playing for, a question which Chris never quite answers). He doesn't exacdy want the job, but it might be the best opportunity he ever gets, and he isn't exacdy crazy about Chloe, but it seems obvious that she comes with the job. Nola may very well be a disaster waiting happen (even if she weren't Tom's fiancee), but Chris is in love with her, and falling in love is something that doesn't need a good reason in order to happen. The plot is driven by Chris's passive acceptance of all the Hewetts have to offer him, and by his dogged pursuit of something that, if they knew about it, would provoke them to take everything away. Part of d1e tragedy is that the Hewetts are very nice people. I'viy aversion to them is no worse than my aversion to a perpetual spring vacation in Charleston; they're lovely, but perhaps a bit frivolous. Their country estate is luxurious, their conversation is witty, and despite the family business, they always have time to enjoy themselves- and money left over for philanthropy. They are truly generous toward Chris, welcoming him completely into their family. While one reviewer asserts that class differences have something to do with the movie's conflict, I really don't think Chris has any trouble adapting to the upper class per se. What torments him is the fact that he isn't doing what he wants to do - and the reason he knows it isn't what he wants is Nola. Chloe is "very sweet," as Chris says, and the job, even if it isn't fun, still lets him lead a life of luxury. But his heart is elsewhere. Lies and deceptions eventually ruin Chris's ability to enjoy life with the Hewetts, and a crisis becomes inevitable. This movie is a tragedy skillfully constructed out of everyday scenes. The dialogue is never awkward or unbelievable; it never has to be. There is nothing unrealistic about a businessmen fibbing to his secretary, or an actress nervous about an audition, or a mothers criticizing her son's girlfriend. And at the heart of the story is a man with nothing to say, whose deepest longing is also his deepest secret, who cannot afford to say how he feels. A couple of times, Woody Allen uses the sort of lines that risk making tragedy seem trite ("\Ve can't do this,'' as two characters do something they can't afford to do), but the stoty leads perfectly to dramatic scene where no words are necessary, where the mere image of a character doing wordlessly what he has to do can be heartbreaking. If you don't nrind not feeling happy after a movie, this may be one of the best you'll see in a theater this year. 4!lr" �-------- - - - - - - - - - - - - A Febbie's First Impressions by Kelvin Chung, '09 When I was a lad of 15 in the interim between ninth and tenth grade, I went to my local oveq>riced, overrated Barnes &Noble and purchased WH.D. Rouse's translations of The Iliad and The Odyssey. If you know not who this humorless no-name hack is, pour a libation to Zeus son ofK.ronos and offer him your finest oxen, for you are beloved by he. Though not as aggressively offensive as Lombardo, Rouse casts a dull gloom over the entire affair, turning a rousing epic into a textbook lesson with attendant exercises. Why choose Rouse, then? I had taken English honors in ninth grade, which meant I had to skip Homer. As decreed by the Powers That Be, theAll-W!se Califorrila School Board, all students shall read The Iliad and The Odyssey once in ninth grade retardation ofEnglish and never afterward, so if I was to know jack about Odysseus and the Achaians, I would have to read the books on my own. At the age of15, moreover, I was young and dumb, and I had but $20 in my pocket to purchase both Homer and the two inferior works of Orwell that would haunt him long after death (that is, 1984 and Anima! Farm). "Sing, goddess" naturally had to lose to ''Signet Classics". After all, there couldn't possibly be that much lost in a budget edition, right? Right? "An angry man-there is my story: the bitter rancour of Achilles, prince of the house of Pdeus, which brought a thousand troubles upon the Achaian host Many a strong soul it sent down to Hades, and left the heroes themselves a prey to dogs and carrion birds, while the will of God moved on to fulfilment" \Vhat dreadful monotone! What horrify1ng, unimaginable drudgery! How is one to care about "An angry man"? If one is to be bad, at least be bad enough for howling rage! But no; I was condemned to death by slow degrees, trudging ever more laboriously through ever more turgid prose. The physical space is less than a fist, but to traverse it is to stare time in his withered old face and tap the edge of eternity. And yet, even as I somehow reached the end of that desert, I was not possessed of the urge to commit it to flames. Instead, I threw Rouse and his blasted Homer to a dust-encrusted bookshelf comer, there to accrue its own fat shell of dust. I cursed Homer, I cursed Greek poetry, and I decided that the whole lot of scholars proclaiming the beauty of both were mad, mad, mad! A few years passed; I became older and the slig~test bit wiser, and my libraries both cinematic and literary started showing some rucliments of taste. But still would I not touch Rouse; never again, I swore, would I submit myself to that maddening purgatory where murder and honor lose all meaning and there is nothing but the abyss. And then I got into St. John's. Perhaps it was some reptilian partofmy brain making one last valiant attempt to save my brain from rot, but I misread "VI" as "IV" and suffered only until 'The first batde between Trojans and Achaians." But I heard there was hope. I heard that not one but T\'<10 worthy translations of Homer awaited my money with ravenous greed and slavering mouth in _Annapolis. Straightaway I mshed to the bookstore that first day of Febbiedom and snatched up both Homeric Lattimores before anyone could take them from me. My preciousss . . . A nearby Johnnie told me and my fellow Febbie to read the first paragraph. And so I did. "Sing, goddess, the anger of Peleus' son Achillcm;l and its devastation, which put pains thousandfold upon the Achaians, I hurled in their multitudes to the house of I lades strong souls I of heroes, but gave their bodies to be the delicate feasting I of dogs, of all birds, and the will of Zeus was accomplished I since that time when first there stood in division of conflict I Atreus' son the lord of men and brilliant Achilleu~." . . . . . . . . . . . What majesty! What booming, resounding triwnph! (Well, except for the death and all.) Drums clashed, trumpets sounded, and I was ready to take up oxhide shield and ash-pine spear, ready to follow Agamemnon lord of men to my bloody demise as Hektor's # 16. As I had yet to take seminar, I did not and still do not nnderstand even the thousandth part of the genius of The Iliad nor any of the questions it poses. But the mere aesthetic effect was astounding. I saw that it is poetry; I saw what it is to be moved by Achaians killing Trojans killing Danaans in that terrible cycle. I knew then d1at I had read nothing, and that I must start as anew and read everything from the beginning. I saw, in short, into the face of Zeus Almighty, king of the gods. Yet it is the little things that draw me back time after time. There is a certain impalpable magic in the repeated epithets that renders them channing where othef\vise they would be spumed and spat upon. I always smile upon readingof"treasures ... piled in abundance,/bronze ... and gold, and difficultly wrought iron,"as I do when a speech commanded to be given is repeated verbatim a few lines down. As well, one can never find 1n any English prose the delightful "He spoke, nor did the herald disobey," for only in a dead language where word order is meaningless can such a seemingly awkward juxtaposition exist. That is, in fact, the core reason that I prefer Lattimore over all others. Ease of reading be damned; the only proper way to read Homer is in tl1e original Greek, and the only translation that can approach justice is the most thoroughly literal. I have read snippets of my roommate's Fitzgerald and 1n every case the deviation from Greek style, the paraphrasing and the modernization, corrupts the prose, encumbers it, perverts it with the presence of modem English. ]be effect is dramatic: while other Febbies find The Iliad tedious and repetitive in parts, I find the whole endeavor exhilarating. Where others suffer somniferous text, I read with rapt attention every rhythm, every cast of spear and word of speech. "What have all the other translators done? This is not Homer the poet, Homer the Greek; this is Cliff's Notes to The Iliad, condescending to dumb it down for your consumption.~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Johnnie Quotes of the Week Athletes of the Week Mr. P: Tell me Socrates, what is the form of the Funk? Can the Funk be taught? Mr. S: Or more importandy, can the Funk be brougbt? Tutor: Watch it Mr. F, or I'll put you on medication. Mr. J: That tree looks like it knows what's going on. Miss Lewis Mr. T: As a general rule, I don't think the dining hall should try to cook anything they can't spell. Mr. M: Excuse me , waiter? My tortelini is missing an 'L.' Tutor: Here's one way to think of it: incommensurability is sort ofW(e sex. It's one of d1ose things no one is really comfortable with, but we all just sort of learn to live with it. Ms. W: That explains why Euclid thought incommensurability was so interesting. Mr. Schley You Make the Call: Sendyour memorable Johnnie bloopers to the Gadfly via campus mai4 or to stJohnsgac!ffy@gmail. com 8 In a basketball game, a player, while dribbling, touches the scorer's table while her feet are inbounds. What is the ruling? First one to me with the right call goes to the bookstore on me. You may leave your answer on my voicemail, x2558. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ;~ DATE DUE 1: I v,.._., ... ' 0 - � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource McClay, Mark F. (Editor in Chief) Roberts, Aaron B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 15 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2006-02-02 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 15 of The Gadfly. Published February 2, 2006. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.15 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/c5fa1659a5965a2c8ae9ab85ec11c7a6.pdf 55b462321a790eb154e4152c5a177c7e PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S cOLLEGE U8RARY 1 1 \l~l~\[\l l~l l l'l\~il IIIIIllIIIIIIIII IIIIIIllIllII 31696 01137 6249 'llHE GADFLY The St. Johns College Student Weekly Volume XXVII, Issue 17 Annapolis, Mmy!and March 16, 2006 Cafe Randall: Out to Lunch? by Seth Tipps '09 Staff Writer A few weeks ago at a Gadfly meeting it was decided that I, the A1my man, connoisseur of mass-produced meals, was best qualified toreport on the recent humdrum over the food in the dining hall. Well, five weeks and one chef later I have an article for you (great timing on that new chef; I would have been done with this a long time ago and we could have all moved on with our lives if you had just let me pick on the old guy a little). So here are my unprofessional views on the food, vegetarian food, your incessant whining, and why if everyone just checked with me before opening their mouths we would all be a bit happier. As you may remember, there were recent com~ plaints concerning the quality of the food, but the real issue was over the vegetarian menu. The polity took action and held a meeting with the din1ng hall administration about vegetarian ingredients. hfany people expressed their views to the administration, and there was a good deal of hope that progress would be made. Well, I'm not vegetarian, so damned if I know if the food is good. I've tried a bocca burger. I've tried tofu. I might have enjoyed the e,'{perience if it had not been in cases where ''bocca'' and "tofu'' were merely prefixes warn~ ing me that the hamburger or hot dog on its way into my mouth was the culinary love child of Rob Schneider and Barbara Walters. This is not in any way to discourage vegetarians from their eating habits, however masochistic these may seem to an omnivorous fellow like me. It is merely to say that I'm not sure that your happiness lies in giving Parkhurst another weapon in its supposed war on your blood-shy taste buds. Parkhurst should probably take the advice of the more sober-minded veggies, and just keep their salad bar stocked (provide nuts, folks). 1\-foving on to those with more eclectic tastes, have you noticed that the food has been better over the last few weeks? \Ve have a new chef, the menu items are different (as different as they can be when our food comes from a catering setvice), and the mysterious gremlin who was mixing the fruit loops with the apple jacks has either reformed, taken a hiatus, or choked to death in the confusion following the discovery of a granny smith lurking amongst the usual blueberry, cherry, orange and banana flavors brought to you by your favorite toucan. Funny how karma works. I recognize that I am being a bit harsh here; maybe it's too much to ask that you actually consider the merits of the food you are complaining about. Maybe you are such a naturally gifted food critic that you can actually taste the individual ingredients and know your food is probably being conjured from the same stuff as about three weeks ag<;>. But I do notice changes. The menu is frequently constructed with a fast-food or conntry kitchen style entree, another main course item that is healthier but more complex and more prone to complication from being mass-produced, and a vegetarian item. The sides are rotated and are probably the low point of the meal, being frozen foods applied to constant heat after being removed from the package. At this juncture I think it important for you to meet a good friend of mine. His name is Dan. I hope you notice that "Dan" sounds a lot like "Don." This is because the obvious Philological origins of our cooks name stem from a character in a book by Cervantes. A11, clever Johnny, you have guessed that I refer to Don Quixote, man of La Mancha, and victim of Broadway's usual defamation. W'hoever was blessed to have been the parents of our hero Dan must have had great foresight to see that one day their son, like the disillusioned knight, would seek to do the impossible: provide mass-produced food that could satisfy the yearnings of pretentious college students for fewer than three dollars a plate. That's right; Parkhurst has three dollars to feed you, feed themselves, pay taxes and legal fees, and hire staff. 1his is why it should not come as a shock when I tell you that the food was better at basic Out to Lunch continued on page 11 �Editors-in-Chief Mark F. McClay Aaron B. Roberts Associate Editors Shoshana Goldstein Ara Guekguezian Seth Tipps Christopher B. Utter Layout/Design Gtbrielle Aines Anna Harvey Distribution Manager John Schuler Photographers Clarke Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Rachae!Bartgis Aaron Brager Nina Carrieri Kelvin Chung Liz Curry D.L. Ferrell StaceyGoguen :rvfax Kronberg Chris Thorn Zach Throop Seth Tipps Jennifer Wright Founded in 1980, the Gar!fb' is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tuto.rs emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not neccssarilly represent the opinions of the Gadfly staff. The Gar!ffy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John'::; permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Ga4fbr is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is b'Tanted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they arc legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are gready preferred. Please e-mail submissions to stjohnsgadfly@gmail.com. 2 . THE GADFLY Letters & Announcements Abolish Senior Prank I would like to suggest that Senior Prank be abolished on the Annapolis campus. It is a pointless and harmful custom. In the golden days, when the seniors took upon themselves the burden of accomplishing something remarkable- of scaling heights that can barely be even imagined today- Prank was a time to celebrate the truly worthwhile at St. John's. Consider, for example, the wonder of that morning on which the entire community was confronted with the disappearance of every chair on campus. Something remarkable, and philosophically interesting, had been perpetrated overnight by a handful of ragamuffin students. No Disneyesque feat that, but rather a labor worthy ofHerakles himself. In recent years, however, Prank has degenerated into merely an excuse: to disrupt classes, to party, and to mock all that we hold most . dear. Do you not think that Dionysos demands a more profound and significant festival? In these brazen times, however, the golden days cannot be recaptured. We must admit, I fear, Nietzsche notwithstanding, that we simply cannot look forward to the past. As currently conceived, Prank is also harmful. First, the seniors lose one entire seminar to Prank (and it has never been the seminar I would choose to lose). Imagine, seniors, that by the time you read this letter, that one seminar will constitute dose to one-tenth of your remaining seminars at St. John's. Is the dubious glory of Prank worth such a sacrifice? Second, just as the anticipation of war is already a state of war, so too, the anticipation of Prank generates a prankish atmosphere in all seminars. How many students have repeatedly been mistakenly certain that Prank was tonight? In the golden days, seminar was never interrupted; Prank commenced at dawn. Third, what message do we send to guests on campus, to the wider political body, and to ourselves when we replace Kant with cant and Sigmund Freud with Jack Daniels? I am not alone in wishing that we bid adieu to Prank. Many tutors fondly remember one of the years I served as Assistant Dean, when Prank was cancelled on account of the flagrantly illegal means used by the seniors to raise money for its support. I have discussed the current situation with a number of my colleagues, and while we don't agree on all the particulars, we are of one mind in our sentiment. As Voltaire said (though I think he was referring to the Church): Ecrasez l'infame! John Verdi, Tutor Activities and Events: Student Activities Campus Events Sun., March 19: Annapolis Opera - The Magic Flute. Maryland Hall, 3:00PM. Student rush tickets may be bought 30 minutes before the performance for $10 with student ID, if itis not sold out. Tickets can also be purchased in advance for $23 with student ID (call41 0-2635544). Shuttle departs gymnlot at 2:15PM; seats are first come, first served (max. 10 students) The opera will also be performed on Fri., March 17 at 8:00PM, but no shuttle transportlltion is provided. Sun.,March26:BaltimoreMuseumofArt (trip rescheduled). Shuttle reservations are starting fresh; sign up in the Asst. Dean's office by Fri.,March24. Fri., March 17: Concert -the Szymanowski Quartet. Program includes string quartets by Mozart, Szymanowski, and Schubert. FSKAuditorium, 8:15PM. Sun., March 19: SJC Chamber Recital. Program includes works ofBach, Mozart, Chopin, Reineck. Also included are works ofAnnapolis composer and GI student Hollis Thoms, whose ''Requiem for 9 /11" and "Nonet for Strings" were well-recieved in concert at the College last Septemer. Great Hall, 4:00PM. Sun., March 19: SJC Film Society- Invasion ofthe Body Snatchers. FSKAuditorium, 7:30PM. fNote: It} a SUNDAY, everyone!] �'l First order of business: We here at Jews' Oues because we cannot even irrL:~e what the conse- But tbis is a m.rult qf dijjfm11t leledion.r made qy natmr, unless breeders, lla/tJ!'d back-door genetic .rdmtirts, mak£ them. Ifyou look at pigeons tiJ<y look a lot like pigeonJ wbit:h also look a lot like otberpigeons some o/tbem look more ofthem a lot like the m'k dove. Charles Darwin should be credited with the dis- would like to apologize for our long absence. However, you must know that it is entirely justifiable. Also, if we really wanted to apologize, we would say quences might be. They probably involve the sky covety ofthe rock dove, which is just like any other becoming as black as sackcloth and the full moon dove, only it ROCKS! No, seriously, Darwln is a turning to blood. srup:tisingly terrible ·writer, as you'll find out senior <We're sorry;' not "We would like to apologize," Butwedigres& Thepointisthis:JenniferWright is a terrible, honible, no good, very bad writer. O:!eck year. He has more unnecessary explanations, irrelevantdiatribes,andrepeatedsentences1hananyother Jew's Clues (Finally!) Returns by Max Kronberg '05 and Aaron Brager '05 which is what people say when they want credit for apologizing but they do not care to put in any ofthe hard work. You know, of "sorry." It's a frequent problem that plagues the col= 'jen-Sais-Quo~" which is theweeklyvomitous mass regurgitated by the serond worstwriterinArnerica,JenniferWright For example, in hermostrecentcolumn, she writes: I would hke to apolofiz: for throwing puppies at the homeless; however,you must know it was entirejyjust!fiab/e. One rf them was looktiJg at me, and at fl!J' delicious foie gras. I became amccrned that it mijfJt want some, and while I hadplenty to share, nqy, plenty to bathe in, I try to live my lift by the ancient ma:dm d"rnd by King uuis xrv, whose last words wcm 11Let them eat cake." Foie gras, obviousjy, is not cake. We're not quite surewherl1erlvfs. Wright was so terrified by the puppies or by d1e homeless. Both are entirely unreasonable-as everyone knows, puppies are as adorable as back campus is dangerous. The homeless are also adorable - just look at Febbie or Crazy Bagl'vian. Youknowtheone-he Lewi~ swings bags back and forth wi1h more putpose than you have ever put into anything in your whole life. Seriously, v.re are terrified that one of these days he is going to succeed at whatever he is attempting out dlis gem: My super-setrel crush is Catn the Younger. If Cato were willing to be my boyfriend, I would smd bimj!owersfor tJo rearon. He would absollflejy hate this, and dismiss them as jriwlnus, and!!' off to eat ge<teL The wry thought of Cato tossing "!Yflowers awqy in disgust makes me gp gmq. 'This is completely absurd, as Cato 1he Younger died in Something B.C.E. We here at Jews' Clues use B.C.E. and C.E. to date era& They stllnd for "BeforeComrnonEra'' and "Common Era." They are equivalent to B.C. and A.D. We use them becausev.rewish to avoid a Christian.--centticmeasurement of rime. InterestinglJ~ the day we select as the demarcation between the Common Era and all the time before happens to coincide with the birth of Jesus Christ Man, this is retarded, like Jennifer Wright's writing ButJennifer Wright's writing is not the most retarded. TheworstwriterinAmericais Charles Dar- win. Here's a random sampling of sentences from his famous book Ongjn rf Spedes: If_ym l()(}k atpigeons thry look like pigeons wbich also look like other piffons some of them look more of them like. Other pigeons looks more like them tlsotl the othees. progmm au1hor, including Marx. All of Darwin's worthwhile thoughts- of which there were many -could have been written in a different writing style, which is still used today by many popular modem writers, known as the "essay." This would have the benefit of preventing Darwin from achieving perhapshis greatest fea~ the unique synthesis of"dulf' and "dry:" Second order ofbusiness: WE ARE AN AD- VICE COLUMN. PLEASE SEND ANY QUESTIONS TO: MAX KRONBERG CAMPUS MAIL Ifwe have not received questions by next week, v.re'll be forced to attack Darwin some more. We swear we will answer all questions so long as they do notrequestinterpretationofdreamscontainingSean Connery, ''Tile;\,fecliator," or areas of refuge. We're so, so, sorry, Jenny Lowe, but we have no idea how to intetpret your dream. · i\nd that's how you make an apology. ].C.'s Shaloms: Shalom to Jennifer Wright ow: gauntlet is thrown. Shalom to the StJohn's College Film Society for ruining three movies in a row. Shalom to d1enewGa<#}editors, Mark McClay and Aaron Roberts. We're gonna make fun of them so badnextweek. Shalom to Ou:is Utter, who's still a pretty, pretty flower. Shalom to Shoshanna Goldstein, 'The Gru:dner." Shalom to Micah Gates in drag. When we think about you, we touch ourselves. Shalom to DL. Ferrell We couldn't agree more with yow: claim that contemporary poetly is wholly egocentric, mundane, andinsubstantial. In fuct, based on the rhythmic and metrical considerations of modem poetry, Jews' Clues is one life Is c:dlng. lio'N far will you go/ long poem. Shalom to Dean Dinlc You're doing a helluva job. 800.424.8580 .A.lso, "Dean Dink" is almost impossible to say ten times fast. Not that we ttied. peaC$C(IJ:i)$-tW Along over-due Shalom to JoArml'vfatson for her master of ceremonies stylings at the Alumni dinner. Shalom to Snood. It beats the hell out of card grunes. Shalom to Crazy BagMan. Craaaaazy bagman. . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Reply To Mr. I<ing (Or "Dan Rera, Eat Your Heart Out") by Kelvin Chung '09 For shame, :Mr. King! For shame/This is supposed to be the most intellectual slice of land on the planet, and so it is when there is discussion of literature and philosophy. But bring up politics, and suddenly we must revert to talking points and adolescent angst. Clichi talking points at that! "The military is a necessity to our survival?" "Don't die for those fascists?" Is there not a one among you who finds all this rhetoric a great burlesque, a game of vacuities designed to keep us blindly sophomoric and childishly fearful? There is but one standard by which politics can be intelligently judged: bollocks, bosh, and nonsense. Let one sentence be for the sake of telling the bitter truth, rather than pandering to a fragile ego or giving out words of rage without thought, and that shall be the first significant thing said in politics. His point on the lack of civility is fair enough, but in defending the militruy Mr. King has offered up a bounty of straw men. I propose we hold a bonfire. We should be known as conscientious, .aa·epting tbinkers-not as rude, judgemental, intellectual elitists. the difference between ambrosia and excrement, eat the latter and say, "lvfmm, good?" Now we have heard stories recmtjy about recruiters doing things that are questionable or illegal. This is tmfottunate, but I repeat that thry have a dijjkult job and cettainjy will not be the first to use tacti(:s that are not stn'ctjy I!] the book to get theirjob done. Wow! Straight out of SO's action! All that's missing is a stupid chief, corrupt liberal judges, and the homoerotic longing for rippled, glistening pees. Hey, wait: It is true that t!Je recruiter does, in some manner, Pn:J' 011 people. Thry use the fteh'ngs that men have deep inside them to be protedors of those thry love and what thr_y care for. Thry use the desire to find their limits and become gloriot1s heroes which matry people have. The onjy thing the mmiter does is to remind men qf their debt to their country, and bn.ll,g out the repressed ftelings rf what it means to be a man. Pure adolescent fantasy. ''Protectors of those they love and what they care for?" Truly there is no greater nobility than to risk life and limb for. . . three free music downloads? A propaganda videogame, itselfbut a shoddy facsimile of firstperson shooters? And what before tllls: the U.S.' commercial interests in the surrounding Americas? Savages who say that skin color is enough to make one not human, hiding behind "states' rights" (apparently to stomp on those of the people)? Woodrow Wilson's public image in the face of Spanish influenza and then FDR's in the face of waning support for the New Deal? And as for 1v!r. King's "glorious heroes": Intellectual elitist: One who wants everyone in the world to be happy but has committed the unpardonable sin of defining happiness in terms of intelligence. Cast him into the pits of Hell with your fiercest curses, and pray to God for forgiveness that you dared to think. There is no such thing as an intellectual elitist, just as there is no such thing as a limousine liberal Every intellectual in the world, every idealist and every misanthrope who values intelligence I am tired and sick o/ u1ar. Its glory is all moonand reflection, wants nothing more than that ev- shille. It is onfy those who have neitherfired a shot nor ery child in the world is guaranteed the best liberal heard the shn"eks and groans of the wounded, who cry education (such is the reason we have come to St. aloudfor more blood, more vengeaJJt"f!, more desolation. John's). Were a war-monger to come with ratio- War is hell. There is mmry a bqy here todq_y who looks nal and intelligent reasons for his beliefs, there on war as allglory, but, bq)'S, it is all hell. You mn bear would be civility and cool debate even from the this warning voice to generations yet to come. I look hippies. But alas, such a creature does not exist. upon war with horror. The people receive excrement and call it ambrosia; W'ar is mass tmei!J. The crueler it is, the sooner it they see ambrosia and call it excrement, and they will be over. -General [f/il/iam Tecumseh Sherman take at face value all the empty words and simplified logic the hustlers feed t11em to blur the line Every gt~n that is made, every warship launched, between valid logic and lies. Is one not entided, every rocket fired sign!fie.r, in the final sense, a thift then, to howl at the world? 1\1ust one, knowing from those who hunger and are not ftd, those who are ing monry alone. It is spmding the sweat qf laborers, the genius rif its scientists, the hopes qf its children .. . This is not a Wt!J o/ life at a!/, in a'!Y trtle sense. Under tbe cloud of threatening war, it is humam!J hangingfrom an iron cross. -Dwight D. Eisenhower Dear U.S. military, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways: 1. Your long tradition of breaking strikes and beating down the downtrodden for having the audacity to demand enough pennies a day to survive, broken only about a half century ago. Now we have policemen to do that. 2. Your blind, unquestioning obedience to authority. Does the word ''Nuremberg" hold any meaning for you? Truly the greatest monument to freedom is the most pious desire to give it up, and then to take it by force from the thinkers, as long as you don't have to take responsibility for it. 3. Your burning contempt for the non-rich: offering the impoverished a pittance purchased at the cost of soul-breaking drudgery and the abolition of the individual mind; offering the college-bound an illusory scholarship for their future education, then wrenching it from them in a tangled web of prerequisites and anny fees; raping the word "freedom" so that you may guile some depressed soul out of immediate suicide and into the mouths of cannons as fodder. Your viciousness and your brow-beating tactics: harassing all day those who have already said ''No, never in a million years," and threatening to arrest them for not signing up. (Did you read that, :Mr. Ian King? The army has threatened to amst temagers for exercising their right to not volunteer. Ah, but none of that for the children of wealth, for their fathers are Senator.rl) 4. 1-fost of all, your cancerous parasitism. "Keep us around! There are hundreds and hundreds of enemies of the United States ready to pounce upon us in a holocaust straight out of Red Dawn!" Correct me if I am wrong, but wouldn't the logical thing to do be to befriend all the countries of tl1e world? [Editor's Note: This is straight out of Immanuel Kant's handbookJ Then again, I make the mistake of using logic. You ru·e cold and are not dothed The world 1i1 a~ms is not spendReply continued on next page 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . �SCI: Seminar and Senior Essay Writing Period by Liz Curry '07 ]\!embers present: \Vilford, Utter, Geannikis, Croker, Hurst, pointed out that seminar has not always been cancelled during the period. The seniors in Santa Fe still have seminar for the first few Goguen, Elkins, Lindquist, Garrigle, Curry. After some preliminary organizational discussion concerning the weeks of January. Mr. Croker questioned why it was beneficial to All-College Picnic, All-College Seminar, and next week's forum, Mr. devote a whole month to one topic only. Did the seniors find they used their time wisely? lYir. Utter raised a concern about the Geannikis, I\1r. Stone and Ivlr. amount of reading the Senior Utter stated that they felt they class is required to do in between The Student Committee on Instruction could have benefited from havSenior Essay writing period and meets Thursdays at 11:45 AM in the ing seminar during the first Spring Break. In addition to the couple of weeks, as it might Nietzsche seminar readings, the Private Dining Room. have helped them structure their seniors are reading Darwin in lab . time better, and would stretch and a novel (To Tbe Lighthottse out the amount of reading to by Virginia Woolf) in language. be covered in the three weeks beThese are all long readings, and Mr. Utter reported that he and many of the seniors he has talked to fore Spring Break. Perhaps seminar could be cancelled for the last are feeling rather overwhelmed, and that many are finding they have couple of weeks of the writing period, as this is generally the most to sacrifice one reading in order to finish the others. Mr. Utter intense time. The meeting concluded with all members agreeing suggested that the Nietzsche readings be extended to one more that the issue should be further researched and perhaps brought up seminar, or that the study of the novel be saved until after Spring to the Instruction Committee. Break, and poetry be done until then. It was also suggested that At the first SCI meeting after Spring Break (March 16), the Committee will discuss revisions to its charter and vote on the Allthe intensity of this time is due in part to the cessation of classes, particularly seminar, during Senior Essay writing period. Mr. Stone College Seminar reading. 'lr" Come join the conversation! Reply continued from previous page a useless piece of machinery devouring resources that could have been spent on education; and so our schools slide ever faster into decay and rot. Men do not owe this debt to their cow1try: to give up their rights as hrunan beings in order to deprive fellow human beings of their rights. The debt men owe is what every citizen owes to Washington and Franklin, Paine and Jefferson: to think, to question, to know; to educate our progeny, and ensure that every citizen is a thinker of the highest order; to hold the U.S. government acconntable for every one of its actions, and demand of it the greatest devotion to civil liberties, the greatest obedience to the people. Liberty is government in service of the people. It is dictatorship and oligarchy whose people are in the service of the government. (Besides, every thinking man knows that "what it means to be a man" is to have a Y chromosome. Chauvinist pig!) Thry go where thry are told and do what !hf!)' are told without qttestion. How many times must it be said? Let me try to explain this to you in lucid terms: Blind obedience is a character flaw/ It is a bad thing/ Hell, the entire reason to come to St.John's is dissatisfaction with the answers society gives to every question in the world. UmTitical minds ease a tyrant into office; every single magnificent stride forward for humanity has been by people who question. For Jupiter's sake! Galileo! Darwin! Martin Luther! Einstein! You do not hate them; you hate )!OUrselves. I claim that you are angry becattse yott are cowards. You see great men who are willing to fight and die for something greater than themselves, willing to perform heroic deeds in the fate ofgreat danger simpfy becattse thry beli'eve in the simple virtues a11d freedoms ttpotJ which this coul1t1)1 is founded. You look upon them and see something thatyou will never do. l'Ou are to [sic) afraid to attempt to be !feat, to do something worthwhile because it mqy mrt_yON. Ah yes, the "coward" card. ..Almost Euclidean in a way: That all me11 of the world are supporters of a militaor /!_y default, and that the on!J' reason om could ever have to oppose it is fear of death. For let NS consider all men of the earth; I sqy that those who criticize the military are cowardsftarfttl ofdeath. As I am an average man, I am eqttal to all men of the world; and therefore all men of the 1vorld are eqttal to me, and there is 110! a o11e who i.r of dijftrmt thottghts, different pnjudices, and dijftrmt rea.ro11s for a!!J'fhing. Were I to Sq)' that I do not wish to serve, the on()' possible reason i's that I fear to die, for I so piousfy believe in a military and in the invisible enemies it protects me from, and I have /lever once given thougbt to whether the things tbe military does are }Nsf or Ut?Jttst, cruel or not cruel, good or not good; but that the military does it, therefore it is just, not cmel, and good. Bttt all the men of the 1vorld were also proved equal to me. Therefore, etc. Q.E.D. The most fearful thing in the world to lesser men is another man's disagreement with convention. So many millions of men and women chose to die rather than risk the censure of the world; and so many millions of men and women would sooner die "for God and country" than to point out that A the emperor has no clothes, for fear that all their friends and all their family, all of society would ostracize them, and they would be alone. Those who hate the military do it wid1 all the force of our hearts and with the most violent hatred, for those who merely fear death will inevitably find that they fear more the label of"coward," as one cannot go anywhere in dlis country without meeting the nntllinking, glazy-eyed believer in The American Way. .,_ . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY 5 �Jen-Sais ~Quoi: The Great Outdoors by Jennifer Wright '08 Staff Writer Over the break, I was watclling the season finale ofT!Je Bachelor. Now I recognize that there are those of you who are shocked and repulsed that such a piece of lowbrow culture has even been mentioned here. If you are, please sub stitute 011e D'!}' i11 the Life ojlva11 De11isovich for The Bad1clor. They are essentially the same (I am gambling that not many people are familiar ,vith both). Midway through the episode the bachelor's sister came over to the bachelor, pointed to a contestant and said in a really hushed, serious tone, "That one, is sh e, you know.. . outdoor!)'?" I can't remember the bachelor's response. I'm sure she was - she had that look about her - but I was shocked by the question. I didn't know being outdoorsy was a virtue, let alone a deciding virtue on things like The Bachelor. "Well," I thought to myself, "perhaps the Bachelor simply neglected to mention that he is a big game hunter in the wilds ofAfrica becauseitwas not politically correct to say so, but if his bride was not outdoorsy, it would present a problem of gargantuan proportions." I went away, content \vith this e-xplanation until a few days later when I was reading Sexa11d the Si11gle Zillio11are (if, as Mr. Chung said, "1984 andA11imal Farm are two inferior works that haunt Orwell after his death," I like to think of Sex a11d the Si11gle Zillio11aire as an angelic pinprick of light that 'vill flop and shimmy after Tony Perkins all the days of his life). 1£dway into Sex a11d the S i11gle Zillio11ain: they justified the sixty-something protagonist frolicking with twenty-something girls because he was still "outdoorsy." I was impressed by this line of reasoning. It seems that outdoorsy people can get away with almost anything. " I certainly hope I'm outdoorsy, too! Maybe I am!" I thought to myself. I figured this was probably the case, because when I walk from place to place, I venture outside, rather then erecting futuristic tunnels to transport myself to my destination. And, sometimes, on rare occasions, I will sit on a park bench and read a book. Also, I am not a recluse, and leaving my apartment means going out of doors. I decided to see ifI could confirm this, and called up one of my friends. "When you think of me, do you think of someone who is outdoorsy?" I asked. "Well," replied my friend, "Remember last month when you decided to wear non-high 6 heeled shoes? And it was all fun and games for the first halfhour? And then after an hour and a half you pulled something in the back of your leg, and your leg swole up to the size of a balloon, and I had to give you a piggy back ride back to your apartment?" "Yes?" I replied, naturally assunling that her next comment would be, 'Piggy back rides? Outdoorsy people love piggy back rides!' "Some outdoorsy people go outside in flats without hurting themselves," replied my friend. I told her that she should not marginalize those of us who are differently-abled, walking-wise, and ended the conversation in a terse huff. Later, I posed the same question to my mother, who pointed out that I had refused to trek through the Middle East with her this summer. I opted instead for d1e Czech Republic, where there is more goulash, and there are fewer people shooting at Americans. I like goulash; it is tasty. I don't like the prospect of imminent death; it is not tasty. A discussion then ensued as to whether being afraid of death is the same thing as being indoorsy. It would seem that it is. I'm an indoorsy person. I \vill never trek boldly through war tom countries- and I certainly won't do so in flats. I will never 'vin the heart of the bachelor (though, I suspect Ivan Denisovich is still available) and I 'vill not frolic \vith twenty- year-olds in my golden years. But, after a lot of consideration, I've decided that I'm alright with that. Because, in addition to frolicking \vith twentyyear-olds, outdoorsy people 'vill also die sooner, in horrible ways. I've come up with a few reason s why being indoorsy is better than being: 1) Outside, there is sun. The light of the sun is destined to kill you. Some people see people whose skin is bronzed by the light of the sun and think "what a lovely tan!" Not me! I look at them and tlllnk, "That person is a leathery, cancerous bag of death. I hope they do not get too close to me and spill any ~ftheircanceron me." I do not actually think this just yet; but I shall strive to in the future, and shall be running from anyone not up to albino standards. 2) Outside, there is temperature. Personally, my ideal temperature is 82 degrees. No one else agrees ,vith me on this, so I'm forced to carry around e-xtra coverings in the heat of summer, because shopkeepers and restaurateurs seem to see that all their establishments are heated to 68 degrees- a full14 degrees lower than it ought to be- which, as far as I am concerned, is a stupid and inconvenient temperature. However, nature seems to regulate temperature even less effectively than shopkeepers. At least in m y apartment I can maintain a temperature of my choosing; outside, nature chooses for me in a horrible game closely resembling Russian roulette. Ifyou stay inside as well, you too can pick and choose your own temperature. 3) Outside, sometimes, it is hard to find food. My grandmother had an outdoorsy experience once. She lived in a bam in Tibet for a year, eating only the food she could forage. It was supposed to be her Razors Edge experience- which I suppose it was, more or less. She came back to the states for my christening and collapsed from malnutrition halfway through the ceremony. People immediately forgot about me entirely and rushed to her, so I was never christened. I am a little heathen b aby, who will b e going to Hell after my death. That is probably why I like the ~emperature to be so warm. 4) Outside, events may transpire which could be harmful to you and those around you if you don't seek shelter periodically (see point 3). Also see that new movie The Hills Have EJV!S which, from what I've heard, is all about people who venture outside in the desert only to be eaten by radioactive, cannibalistic mutants. It is their own fault. Those people stayed outside too long. 5) Outside, there is comparatively less furniture than inside. Sometimes, I will be outside, and discover that m y leg has swollen up! Ow! It hurts! I would like to sit down, but there is no armchair or sofa available. Shall I sit down on the grass? No. Grass-stains are hell to get out of fabric. Also, the grass is wet, and full of mud. Instead I will be left weirdly half erect, clutching a wall, laughing and wailing for help all at once. Hopefully, this provides at least a basic incentive for people to embrace the great indoors. Ifyou need more, I'm sure you can seek me out, and I'll come up with something I'll be inside my apartment, wrapped in a blanket, tending to my defective limbs and eating large quantities of goulash. Also, if you're a radioactive, cannibalistic mutant or an armed man screaming "death to America," I probably won't allow you to com e in. Indoorsy people are, after all, defined by th e fact that they find life scrumptious. ...- . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Regarding The Future by Zach Throop '08 I recendyattended a party hereon campus, and, for most ofthenight,itwas the most I oould do to try and not feel like Dr. Emmett Brown. With that sentence, I'm already assuming a great deal about the films that all of us have seen. So: Ifyou who read this have not yet seen Back to the Futtlf8, parts1 and 2, then do so with great haste! Part 3 is entertainllig, but not essential. For brevity's sake, let's all take my command here on faith, shall we? Returning to the true topic at hand, I was at a party and I felt like the good doctot ''Why, 1\!J: Throop, what an odd way to feel at a party!" you might say, and righdy so. Parties are times for singing and dancing and joy. Eccentric mad scientists should be far from such occurrences unless it's some sort of mad he managing your party, there is a large chance he's also a friend of yours. Trust your friends! And believe me, regardless of what music is playing, you can dance to it. Popular music has not left the realm of rhythm in its near century of existence, and within that realm it sticks almost exclusively to the 4/4 and% sections. Just feel the beat and move. \Ve're a community here at St. John's, and we should be dancing together. The one exception given in Bad: to the Future for providing news of the future to the past is if doing so will save a life. Playing your favorite booty dancing song so you can grind against some girl, take her to bed, and put her with child does not count as saving a life. ~ scientist party. But again, I digres& My kinship with Dr. Brown lies in our similar fears that viewing the future as a member ofthe present can C.'lusevastdisturbancesin the space-time continuum. Dr. Brown repeatedly tells the young Marty McFly not to Illllke contact with his future self or to give information about the future to those living in the past The results would be disastrous! In orderformybrief discussion of thecinenaaof the 1980's to make sense, let us return to the party which I attended The music at this party was ooming from a device manufactured by Apple Computers. More specifically. the music was arranged on an mp3 playlist on this device. \Vtth things as such, the music can be set to its business, and theso-calledDJ canhitthedancefloorand prove his worth to mankind. (Our DJ's label is dubious because of its disassociation with its own abbreviation. Innotusingvinyl records or even CDs to provide the music, our DJ can no longer be called a DiscJockey.1bis nright be a more appropriate topic for a discussion of language or the advent of digital media or both.) A situation: the partyis hopping, everyone is dancing, things are inunenselygreat, butyousuddenlygetthehankeringtohearyour special song With a living disc jockey who spins records and drops needles on the fly, this is remedied by approaching his station and making a petition to his choices. When the music is coming in a specific order from a can, dlings get tricky. Do you walk up, flying casual, and trytoinsertyoursonginto the mix, hoping no one will notice or get upset? Common courtesy tells us no. Let the DJ play his role. Of course, if the vast majority of partygoers are dissatisfied, theDJ may bederelictinhisduties and need to be ousted. The French have a term for this; coup d'etat. A similar situation, which may help to answer this question: Your favorite musical artist is in town and you're in attendance at the show. It's in a small and intimate venue, so the dUngs said on one end of the space can be heard on the other. Halfway through the show, you're anxious to hear your favor- ite song by the arrist, but yelling out, "My Heart \\Till Go On!" would be rude- outlandish, even! There is a time for requests, and that time is the encore. You should trust the musicians whose records you have purchased and adored. It is their art and to decide that you can do it better than they can is, to say the very least, rather presumptuous. D J -ing a party, at its core, may be a lesser art, and doing so via a playlist even less so; but the same tenets apply. Trust your DJ, just as you trust your artist onstage! Remember: not only is Where: 1611 Housley Rd Annapolis., MD 21401 When: Mon·Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 1Oam·Zpm Who: Sttrgearrt First Class Gary Epps (41 0)573-9350 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �Are You Interested in the 2006 Summer Mathematics Intensive? When: May 29-August 4, 2006 Where: St.John's College, Annapolis The course is intended to provide familiarity with calculus and elementary analysis on finite dimensional Euclidean spaces for students who intend to pursue study in mathematics, the physical sciences, or engineering following their graduation from St. John's College. The cost includes $750 for tuition and $250 for books. For more information, please contact tutor M. W. Sinnett. ®TOYOTA @iJ'~&OOIID mE&iTIID~ MACPIIIIlSGII SIBUT fROII'1' IU8PDISIDI + AMmi/CD 'IRTB 8 SPUIIRS + SIDE RDCIEB PAfiliS + 38MPGKWYt = YOUR NEW CAR .UIRIWX 8J7,360" ®TOYOTA i movingfarward~ 1EPA ESTIMATED MPG FOR 200S CORCti.A S MOOEL 1812 4 SPEEtl AUTO. ACn.JAL M!!EAGI: MAY VNf:f. "MSRP FOR 2006 SPClRT MODEl 1a12 EXCUJDING TAX, TAGS Al'lO UCENSE FEES. DEALER SETS FINAL I"::CE. 8 ' ' ' ' ' ' THE GADFLY ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' �Parody: Johnnieopoly Rachel Bartgis '09 Staff Writer/Genius-in-Residence In<> Ul (co;;$) T1VH I'MTII~ T1VH l!Ol:;>:Jd$ 3l!OIS liOOt T1VH TlYCIIMI 3HJ Jl u . 6" !il .. ""II! I!',. ~ ~ ('RI # ~.::s ~ lOAN INltRE$T DU£ ? ($21l0) (PAY 10% OR$200) Ill (The Editors invite you to cut the page out and plf!Y with your friends if you are so inclined) . 9 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . ' . . . �"Big Hunk of Love": My Unfortunate Encounter with a Hun1phreys Shower by Chris Thorn '09 Ofthe three showers in first floor Humphreys, freakii~g hot. Sadly I discovered this via personal I can typically be found (I will proudly admit) sing- eA-perience, atwhich time severnlweek.s ago my dorm ing and dancing about in the far right shower, clos- hall ran into the bathroom horrified because my est to d1edoor, so that I can run out before the other usual rendition of ''Hound Dog'' had been interguys can identify the sprightly goofball who's been rupted by a blood-curdling scream. Tius time, knO\ving the eA1:reme personal risk trying to remember the words to Elvis' "Heartbreak Hotel" for the last half an hour. TI1ere are involvedingettinganywherenearthenliddleshower, occasions when I want to take a shower at some I entered the far left stall hoping for some reason"sane'' time ofday and the use ofmy favorite shower able watery experience. Alas, not this day. As shamis not possible. poo application was coming along nicely, I heard a Earlier this week I came back to Humphreys familiar sound indicating sudden pressure cllange. with my good pal Scott after about an hour at the Jviy heart filled with loathing as a jet ofsteamy water gym. Removing my shoes, I gasped in horror, began an assault on my. . .face. Knowing how to inlmediately assuming the magic leprecl1auns that avoid a first degree burn, I skillfully dodged to the usually give me that eA1:ra spring in my step had right and adjusted d1e knob to a cooler setting, feelactually died in my shoes and were beginning to rot ing the water temperature knO\vingly with the back Further investigation brought reliefand the realiza- of my hand until it was once-again survivable. tion that these leprecllauns were both alive and well, Stepping back into the fray, I decided that I would and that it was I that smelled like a gym sock. Since pick a new song to sing in defiance of m y metallic the natural impulse ofany sane stinky man is to take enem}t My rebellion was short-lived, as a few lines a shower (no offense, Drake), I went to my room into ''Don't be Cruel" I was pelted with an icy blast and grabbed my towel and bathrobe then marched which I againretreatedfrominmild shock. Further determinedly off to my favorite shower. adjustment brought a brief respite from this duel, To my dismay I arrived too late, my favorite during whim timelmanagedmostofmy showery shower was occupied by m y best friend, so I contin- duties. About the time I decided to wash the conued walking: I knew all-too-well that the middle ditioner out of my hair and make my escape, the shower was a testicular death trap. It seems that dreaded pressure sound occurred once more- but when B&G cleaned over winter break, they had enraptured with my singing I shrugged it of£ Sudscrewed the shower knob on upside-down, so the denly I found that the waters of hell had risen and only setting for this shower was, and still remains began to assail me wid1 renewed vigor, leaving me MTS\JM "l"he one. 3uy wh er• to speculate as to whether or not tl1e devil himself nlight be leading this renewed offensive. The battle Iaged on for the better part of ten minutes, resulting in a full siA1:een knob adjustments and a lot ofrunning back and forth in a three-anda-half by three-and-a-half-foot space. Ordinarily I might have appreciated this, but I had just returned from a workout, and was looking f01wru:d to being contented just sitting in the shower whining about how sore I was. Hopefully, when the school attains enough money for its proposed repair of the pipes running around beneath the quad, some of these problems might be abated. To my knowledge iliough, most places have restrictors on pipe systems that shut off tl1e hot water when it reaches a temperature capable ofburningyou. This sort of system would be nice, but I might just settle for B&G screwing the shower knobs on straight next tinle they clean. On campus, I at least have. one shower I know I can rely on ... somewhat. Still, the thought of what feat of engineering produced this one, welltempered dispenser of water astounds me, especially when compared to its two brothers, Burner and Shrinker. In the mean-time I will continue to drive myself home on weekends to sing '~ Big Hunk of Love" under my rainfall shower head, filled with fabulous chlorine-free well water. .....- a. w CIU"OIA.,J P'" nc.h ; n~ br~ nc hes.. r t.Cn'S. \ Now + •S ho..t hc.d 'w' call I o- s a.pstick c..orn edy· n 't ( 10 . TI-fE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Out to Lunch continued from fmnt page training, where civilian contractors received three and a baffdollars a plate, free labor (convicts), and facilities built and maintained by the U.S. Army. Poor Dan is not out to lunch; he is simply outgunned. I am grateful for many things at Cafe Randal. Ifl want meat, I can get it, and ifl don't want it, I won't go hungry (that's right, army boy doesn't think it healthy to eat meat at every sitting). Parkhurst usually has soups to match their entrees, two meat and one vegetarian, and does quite well on the dessert front. They serve fish on fast days. I do have a few things I think they can fix quite easily, w;th yonr help. 1. Again: salad items. 2.What are "wing dings"? Are you baby talking to me in the hopes that I will like the food better for having the menial amusement of some idiot failing to pronounce his R's? Could you spoon-feed me while making airplane noises? I'd like that. 3. Fruit, unlike its alcoholic byproduct, does not ripen until "peak". If you just cut less of it, you wouldn't have to leave it sitting there. Students, don't let them leave fruit sitting there. Take some, and if it's old after taking a bite, throw it away. If we did this for even one day the fruit would probably be fresh. 4. Realize that you don't need more than one bag ofpumpernickel or rye bread on the rack at one time. Most people still eat white or wheat bread, notably absent in my attempt to make a BBQ sandw;ch the other day. 5. Everyone should try the vegetarian menu items at some point. This will expand your worldview and encourage Parkhurst to make them edible so that if you want to, you can eat the veggie menu items without the rest of us having to deal w;th the stench ofbnruing mar· tyr. 6. Don't gripe to me - fill out a suggestion card, with a suggestion, not a pointless gripe, and put it on the board next to the exit. It isn't really that hard. 7. If you really feel the need tovent,come to the Gadfly meetiug on Tuesday at 5:30 in 109 BBC. I'm sure we can find some space for you. Consider these points. Actually think about what the food was like a few weeks ago, and be grateful it isn't that bad anymore. If you want something more complicated than Dan can satisfactorilyprovide, there are kitchen units around campus, and it actually costs less to cook for yourself. Or, if you'd rather take advantage of the food you have already paid for, I'll see you in the I<UNAI SPORTS: On Why My Articles Have Not Been Regular by Stacey Goguen '08 Staff Writer This Basketball season has been a time of reflection for me. I have had a chance to stand back, and reflect on things such as: How can Mr. Guekguezian keep track of all those statistics when I find myself at least once during a game thinking "Oh, snickerdoodle! Who just made that basket? Someone's head was in the way!"? So, this article shall be devoted to my musings on my reflections, with an update at the end because the standings have gotten really interesting. For a while, I felt inferior for not being able to write witty and interesting summaries of games the way Ms. Natalie Rynn ('OS) did in past years, and for not being able to keep track of as many statistics as Mr. Guekguezian ('08). But then one day, after a grueling kunai exercise program (walking from Gilliam to the Dining hall), and sitting in a complex meditative ku11ai pose (cross-legged), I had an epiphany. Unlike Ivls. Rynn, I am not expertlyversed in sports jargon, and thus sound awkward when I attempt to describe "the amazing shot that Alicia made where she was running towards the hoop but at that sorta-hard angle and someone was in her way but she still managed to pivot and step around them, then shoot the ball in this high arc so that it looked like it was gonna miss but then it made it and it didn't even touch the net." Also, unlike lvir. Guekguezian, I play in every set of games, so this makes commentative journalism somewhat difficult. "Who just fouled Britney? I was busy focusing on Emma standing next to me waving her arms about and clapping for the ball." Previously, these were the reasons why I wrote sports articles irregularly, and only when the kunai muse allowed me to see something interesting happen that was within my vocabulary to explain. Now, however, realizing that I have gone on for 400 words on how I am unable to write good kunai articles, I am invigorated in my endeavor to again pick up the torch and keep the kunai light a'burning. Rhetorical Question of the Day: Kunai sports is primarily about getting people to come out, play, and have fun. Some people think that by this approach we inhibit aggression and competition too much. Others think that we don't inhibit them enough. How much aggression and competition should be present in a kunai game? ~ And now for the Interesting Standings: Team Wins Losses Nymphs 7 8 Furies 8 8 Maenads Amazons 9 8 7 8 There is one game remaining in the season. dining hall. ""'" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 11 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Johnnie Quotes of the Week Athletes of the Week Mr. S: So you're a subjective relativist? So why are you constructing a universe in which I'm hitting you? Stop hitting yourself, subjective relativist! Stop hitting yourself! Tutor: This is a model of an icosahedron. It's sort of bent up. I think someone stepped on my icosahedron. If the form looked like this, we'd all be in big trouble. Miss Rios Tutor: Come on, tenors. You all sound like some sort of geriatric jamboree. Sendyour memorable Johnnie bloopers to the Gadfly via campus mai~ or to stjohnsgadfly@gmail.com ~ THE GADFLY Mr. Sullivan I I Come Work With Us! to Meetings: Tusdays at 5:30 BBC 109 S1 Or DATE DUE [ / f I l lr: Y rst (HEY. I'I'S LESS 'I'I IAN T IIOSE STUPID REALITY D UES) 12 THE GADFLY .. . .. . .. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource McClay, Mark F. (Editor in Chief) Roberts, Aaron B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 17 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2006-03-16 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 17 of The Gadfly. Published March 16, 2006. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.17 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/c1e10b2a05cfc34bfe00bd7a669d3808.pdf 2aac56ae88f68e7162f424cac055ee9a PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY J rlr lr r rlr r ' ~ij~ ~ ~ ~ ~m~l~J~'r rlr lr r lr rl 1 316H72b GADFLY The St. John} College Student Weekly Volume XXVII, Issue 18 Annapolis, Maryland Marth 23, 2006 A Concert 1n the Great Hall: Music and Love by Seth Tipps '09 Assistant Editor minded) more beer were strongly advocated. Discussion then turned to the reading list, with a variety of recommendations being made. The Brothen Karamazov was proposed as an addition to the literature segment, or as a preceptorial topic. Desire for more continental philosophy in the "Philosophy and Theology" segment was also proposed, which led to a rigorous discussion about the merits and limitation of adding 20th century authors to the reading list. Although desirous of adding a contemporary perspective, Gis seemed wary of diluting the essence of the western canon through modernization of the curriculum. There was widespread interest in adding music, language and fine arts to the curriculum in some capacity. Gis, however, were averse The Sunday concert, "1\.fusic and Love", provided a much needed respite to the slavishly overworked Gadffy editorial staff. It also gives me yet another opportunity to write a bit on the local Annapolis composer and GI student, I'vfr. Hollis Thoms. As some of you may remember, 1\lr. Thoms' premiered his work, Requiem for 9/ 11, last September. The piece was well-received, but many found it hard to wrap their fingers around. His earlier work, None!, was less intense but also less remembered. I know a few people who, regardless of their opinion of the Requiem, can still sing a good bit of it from memory. This concert, though featuring works by other composers, was similar. The cast of characters was, with one exception, drawn from the Thoms musical dynasty: Sonja Thoms, oboe; Erik Apland, piano; Jonas Thoms, horn; and our own Jacqueline Thoms, Soprano. 1\-fiss. Sonja Thoms gave a solid performance of the J.S. Bach Sonata in g minor (BWV 1030b) for the oboe: a challenging piece for what is by no means an unchallenging instrument. The double reed makes dynamic contrast difficult, and the long phrases used by Bach in his wind sonatas are quite difficult to sustain. Neither of these difficulties were evident during the performance. Jonas Thoms performed the I'vfozart Concerto No.2 for Horn (K. 417) with equal Forum continued on page 6 Music continued on page 7 Graduate Institute Forum by Emily Mawhinney, GI '07 The Graduate Council hosted the first graduate forum Thursday evening in Randall Hall. Beer and pizza drew a sub~ stantial crowd of about 35 Graduate Institute students (Gls) who were eager for the opportunity to discuss the graduate program with colleagues (the prospect for libations following preceptorial was secondary to our civic mindedness). It was indeed civic engagement, and the desire to encourage greater dialogue among Gls and the college that led the Graduate Council to convene the forum. I\.fs. Barry, the president of the Graduate Council, initiated the informal discussion with by polling Gis on their thoughts regarding after-seminar gatherings. The 1\Ionday night tradition remains popular among students, although a greater variety of food and (yes, we can be shamefully-single �THE Letters & Announcements .,...GADFLY Editors-in-Chief Mark F. McClay Aaron B. Roberts Assistant Editors Ara Guekguezian Seth Tipps Layout/Design Gabrielle Alnes Anna Harvey Distribution Manager John Schuler Photographers Clarke Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Lia Boyle Liz Curry Stacey Goguen Dan Rera Seth Tipps Jennifer Wright Founded in 1980, the Ga4ffy is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within arc the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadjfy staff. The Gar!ffy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gat!f!J' is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to stjohns&l'Jdfly@gmail.com. Fn"dqy Lecture Preview Our lecturer for Friday, 1\.farch 24 is I'vfs. Jacqueline Pfeffer Menill,Annapolis tntor. She offers the following summary of her lecture. "How can we live with imperfection in political life? Since we're vety unlikely to live in an ideal regime, it behooves us to consider what regime is best amongst those regimes available to us, and how such a regime oUght be brought about and made stable. Aristotle takes up these problems in books IV, V, and VI of his Politics books we don't give adequate attention to in the freshman seminar. In my lecture, I examine Aristotle's accounts of the best regimes we can expect to see. These are polity, the regime that mixes the rich and the poor (describedinN.8-9), and the middle regime, the regime in which the middle part of the city is preeminent (described in I\Z11). Themiddleregimemay be the one of greatest interest to us, since it is the regime closest to our own. I discuss the strengths and weaknesses of polity and the middle regime, and argue that polity is the regime in which the limitations of justice are especially apparent, and thus it is the regime most in need of sustained reflection on the complexity of the hwnan good." For those interested in learning more about this part of Aristotle's Politics, the Student Committee on Instruction is holding a pre-lecture seminar on Book IV, at 7:00pm in the Conver~ sation Room. Michael Dink, Dean Activities and Events: Thurs., March 23: Caritas Society Benefit Concert/Luncheon. Concert is free,luoch costs $17. Mellon Conversation Room, 11:30 PM. Fri., March 24: Lecture - "Polity in Aristotle's Politics." Ms. JacquelinePfefferMerrill, tntor. FSKAuditorium, 8:15PM. King William Players - The Shape of Things: Sat., March 25: FSK, 8:00PM Sun., March 26, 3:00PM Sat.,April1, 3:00PM Love rf Music and Love rf Cookies I yield to nobody in my fondness for cookies. But it should be clear to everyone that at a reception after a concert, simple courtesy dictates that we should not begin eating until the musicians have arrived. Last Friday, when walk~ ing down the hall to the reception, I was passed by students who had already left with refreshments in both hands. The musicians were still backstage. The reception itself was crowded with students who were helping themselves. I expressed my annoyance to those within earshot- and I left, at the cost of depriving myself of cookies and company. I have no doubt that when they did arrive, the members of the quartet were greeted with the delight and enthusiasm they deserved. They may even have gotten something to eat. But surely we should all exercise the restraint that is sometimes the requirement of good manners. Elliott Zuckerman, Retired Tutor New Blood Drive Volunteers After being the team leader for the St. John's Bi-annual Blood Drive for four years, it is time for me to graduate. Also graduating this year are several other seniors who have been working on the blood drive since they were freshman. Donating blood twice a yearis a wonderful way to help save lives at the expense of about an hour of your time. But the blood drive cannot be held without the planning and dedication of students beforehand to coordinate with the Red Cross and signing up students to donate. I am asking that students please step up to the plate and take over the task from those of us that will be graduating. For any additional information about running the blood drive, please just ask myself or Laura Sutton in the nurse's office, or e-mail me at nzakheim@sjca.edu. The next blood drive is 4/11! We will be having a meeting at some point in the next week or two Nic Zakheim '06 2 THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �SCI: Plato, Xenophon, and Aristotle by Liz Gutty '07 Members present: Beall, Wilford, Croker, Curry, Hurst, Elkins, more than welcome. The Plato in the Springtime seminars begin Garrigle, Lindquist, G.!. Rep. Tuesday, :rvfarch 21, with I\1s. Owens. Heines leading the discussion on The Student Committee on Instruction The purpose of this week's Charmides. The readings and tumeeting was primarily organizator leaders for the following meets Thursdays at 11:45 a.m. in the tional. The SCI is currently preseminars are posted on the SCI Private Dining Room. paring for several upcoming board in the Coffee Shop. All the events. In anticipation of Ms. Plato in the Springtime seminars All members of the polity are invited to Pfeffer Merrill's lecture, there will will take place on Tuesdays at 7:30 attend. be a Pre-Lecture Seminar on p.m. in the Barr Buchanan Hartle Book IV of Aristotle's Politics Room (on the first floor). The at 7:00p.m. on Friday, :tvfarch 26 in the Conversation Room. Mr. Tim Pomarole Seminar on Liberal Education will be held on Goldberg will lead the discussion. A Pre~ Lecture seminar is also May 2, with the reading to be announced. Next week's meeting will planned for :rv:Is. Tobin's April 7 lecture on Emerson and Tocqueville. focus on planning the Picnic. Any members of the polity who The reading for the All College Seminar (8:15p.m., Friday, April would like to help out with any of these events should talk to their 14) will be Xenophon's Symposium. The All College Picnic will class representatives. The Student Committee on Instruction meets be held the next afternoon, on Saturday, Apri115. All undergradu~ on Thursdays at 11:45 a.m. in the Private Dining Room. All mem~ ate and graduate students and tutors are invited, and families are hers of the polity are invited to attend. ~ Support Your Local Student Paper by Seth Tipps '09 Assistant Editor So I entered the Gadfly office at 2:15 on Sunday at my chief editor's request and looked around. "Nothing changes here," I thought to myself as Mr. Roberts and 11r. Schuler busied themselves with "repairing" a broken computer monitor. The previous week's Gadffy had been a bit of a limited edition press for similar tech~ nical difficulties (namely the printer breaking, not to be repaired until the next week). There was quite a pile of debris scattered around the room, which we tidied; and while Aaron was continuing with the more technical aspects of maintenance, I began sorting through the presumably vast quantity of articles submitted for your reading pleasure. Aside from a promis~ sory note from one writer, and a change to an already submitted article by another, we had nothing. As most of you have probably fig~ ured out by now, the Gadfly publishes pretty much everything you send to it. We have not yet received enough articles for there to be any real competition for printing space. Still, it came as quite a shock when I realized that, as of2:00 P!vi, we only had one article which had in fact been written three weeks prior. Now, I thought to myself, what could be the trouble? \\Thy do we not yet have a Gac!f!J? \Xlhy wouldn't people want to be associated with Ara and Jews Clues? Perhaps this question should have answered itself, but as any woman unfortunate enough to incur my interest will attest, I'm pretty slow. After a grueling hour or two spent hunched over a graphing calculator, I derived an algorithm that meant absolutely nothing. From this I deduced that people will have to be exposed to the inner workings and daily drama that is life on the Gadfly staff before they understand that they to may be only capable of finding arete in a school newspaper. For others, there is a high paced career in fast food, for the underprivileged few, there is the Gadfly. I recognize that no one actually likes the Gadfly. I don't like the Gadfly. But I'll be damned if we have anything else. So I have chosen to blatantly lie to you about the glamour and excitement that is life on the Gacff!J editorial staff, in the hopes that you will be deceived and desire to join us. Now I know you're thinking: "AHA!! I have seen through his cunning plan!" But I know this is not the case. You are gullible. If you need proof you are gullible, then consider your actions when I tell you that gullible is not really a word and, like that famed imposter "ain't," is not in the dictionary (you should look it up). So why do I write for the Gadfly? Because I want free CDs that I can burn from 1\lr. 1vicClay's rather extensive collection (no, seriously, it's huge, and awesome if you like 20thcenturymusic). But there are other reasons, like tl1e time I spilled coffee on myself while writing an article. The lives of the Gacff!J staff are filled with similar instances of danger and excitement. One day we will all be action figures. I suppose that any good recruitment propaganda includes sex appeal. Unfortunately we don't have any. The Gadfly staff are the three m Jt available men on campus. Now if you happen to be single and female, we'd love to have you. Hitting on Jennifer Wright is getting old, and she's stopped coming to the meetings awhile ago. If you are single and way more desperate than J en, please come to the Gac!f!J meeting at 5:30 in 109 BBC Tuesday. We need you. Really. "1r Really. He's not kidding. Thesdays at 5:30 BBC Basement THE GADFLY. 3 �Jen-Sais-Quoi: To Real!J I<ill A Mockingbird by Jenifer Wright '08 Staff Writer In response to recently issued gauntlets, I can only say that it seems certain Jews are in need of a lot of hugs. And that, while tearing down someone else's work, or for that matter, looks or personality is ahnost pathetically easy, the act of doing so will not for one instant make you more talented or attractive or a more pleasant person to be around- and should accordingly be viewed as something of a waste of time. Being kind is harder and requires a great deal more self assurance, but, I think ultimately, is a much better way to go through life, and it at least has the advantage of making one a pleasant person to be around. But then, anyone without the common sense to have figured that out already likely won't do so because they read it here. So I'll give you something completely different. Skimming desperately around my room for something article worthy, my eyes fall on my copy of To KillA Modei11gbird I don't like To Kill a Mockingbird It strikes me as kind of puffed up, and Southern (m d1at annoyingly Southern way). I'm going to submit its unpublished ending. If you are not familiar with the novel, the most memorable line is that in which Atticus Finch remarks, "It's a sin to kill any animal whose sole purpose is to provide delight." Atticus Finch had long said that it was a sin to kill any animal whose sole purpose was to provide delight. Things like mockingbirds. Other animals, of course, were fair game. Six months after retiring from law and becoming a zoo keeper, Atticus had begun to put that theory into practice. The reptiles were the first to go. No one could say that they provided much in the way of substantial delight to begin with. They disappeared, quietly in the night. When people visited in the day, the cobras would stare at them with beady eyes as if to say, ':Atticus is in a mood again!" In a mood he was, indeed. In a mood; and equipped with a musket. A musket which killed snakes in a surprisingly discreet manner. Finally, the snakes began developing rudimentary writing skills and began to scrawl simplistic messages to passersby. "Help us!" their messages read, "A_tticus is a capricious madrrum!" People looked at the snakes in an odd way, and told them that To Kill a Mocki11gbird was about racism, not about animal slaughter. The snakes, alas, knew better. They knew that Atticus was a moody little man. Some people also 4 thought that the very notion of snakes leaming to write without the aid of opposable thumbs, or any thtunbs, was delightful Not delightful enough for Atticus, though. Not delightful enough for Atticus. Soon after, Atticus barred the park from the public. The animals, at least the wily ones among them, quickly learned that they had to develop some kind of channing skill. Some were never so clever, the worms, for instance, slept-in the first morning, and in so, the worms displeased Atticus. He set his specially trained fleet ofmockingbirds on them and they were devoured and vivisected in ways too horrible to describe. After that, he just began shooting creatures whenever he became bored. A sense of desperate panic prevailed. The monkeys learned to do a soft- ''A tticus Finch had long said that it was a sin to kill any animal whose sole purpose was to provide delight. Things like mockingbirds. Other animals, of course, were fair game." shoe vaudeville style number. The giraffes tumbled in the manner of Russian acrobats. The dolphins began to bake cupcakes frantically-but Atticus was wise to their plot While the cupcakes were delightful in their own right, the bakers were not. The dolphins stood as a horrible waming for the rest of the animals, who stuck to singing inoffensive yet upbeat songs. But the monkeys could do their soft-shoe number for only so long. Among them was Coco the Chimp, who would not dance. Coco was wiser than the rest of them, and also had a streak of the anarchist about her. "If you stuck a knife into a puppet," thought Coco, "it would dance. But I will not dance, for I am no puppet! No, I say, no! I shall not dance for Atticus, Herr Puppet Fuhrer.'' Coco would not dance, and instead broke into the chemical compound next to the zoo. With the kind of wild ingenuity so often prized in chimps, she stole vast reserves of chemicals. The next day, as the chimps danced a fiery polka, whileAtticus told . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . them to dance faster-faster!-she threw them on him. But her plan did not go as she had expected. Rather than dying horribly, Atticus began to mutate. Suddenly, he was 45 feet tall! This was most unfortunate. Tiwugh, it was not entirely terrible for the animals as Atticus, shocked by his sudden growth, began to wander away, with every step distancing himself miles from the zoo. On the gronnd, the animals rejoiced, and ate the cupcakes the dearly departed dolphins had baked. They would never dance again, and Coco was deified, even though, rather than killing Atticus, she had made him grow 39 feet. Atticus wandered the Southern countryside, crushing everything in his path. It was not long before the FBI flew over to shoot him down. TI1ey loudly voiced their intention to Atticus over a loudspeaker: "Why would you want to shoot me?" Atticus asked. The head of the FBI had a soft spot for dolphins and replied, cackling maniacally, "You lack the capacity to delight us!" (The real reason was that Atticus was 45 feet tall and ravaging the countryside, but as I said, the head of the FBI had a soft spot for dolphins.) "On the contrary," said Atricus, "The mutation seems to have meant that my belly no longer contains a stomach, but an enormous set of fully functional bagpipes. They can play, and provide delight ... " The FBI men shot Atticus dead before he could demonstrate how they worked. Bagpipes don't delight anybody. That is why they are not studied in any composition in Sophomore music. Somewhere in the distance, William Faulkner saw it all, and wept a tiny tear. That chapter in As I La)' D]ingwhere the Southern kid says, "J'viy mother is a fish." That chapter alludes to Atticus Finch, when he is a giant, and mutated, and has a stomach full of bagpipes. It doesn't make much sense, but when it comes to Faulkner, very little does. Some people will tell you that is not true, because As I Lay Dying was written about 25 years before To Kill A Moddngbird. Those people are Nazi war criminals. That chapter is totally about Atticus. The End C!V �A Critique of Anti-Egalitarian Libertarianism by Dan Rera '06 Staff Writer It's good to be back. A combination of senior essay woes and senioritis vidual more or less able to pursue that which he or she finds enjoyable are has severely sapped my ability to put together a decent article on, well, unjust. Moreover, d1ese factors create an arbitrary lack of freedom in some anything. But I am willing to write an article on something that I feel is very and not others. Hopefully, dlis will truly make libertarians' ears stand on important. All too often I hear people call themselves "libertarians" and edge, that, based on nothing but human-created cirCU111stance, some people wonder to myself, "what is a libertarian?" And the answer, as far as I can tell in society will be blessed as more free d1an od1ers. Join me, fellow libertarians, by righting dlis injustice and rebelling is complex. I consider myself a libertarian, insofar as "libertarian" means one who against those so-called libertarians that only seek to preserve the status quo values liberty highly. I love liberty. I think libetty is one of the most impor- of injustice, inequality, and a severe lack of freedom. A fter all, can someone tant values out there. Of course, justice is good too ... oh, and equality. I truly love freedom if they do not extend this love to all?.......guess my personal interpretation of political theory goes thusly: I think it would bejust if all people had equal access to liber!J. It would seem strange for people to consider themselves libertarians that did not want the same thing. And this is why I am writing this article. All too often I hear people professing to be libertarians standing in the way of egalitarian achievements. Unfortunately, libertarians' ears will stand on edge when they hear this statement. "No! We are libertarians! We want liberty, not equality!" I am sensitive to this concern, of course, but please allow me to e.xplain. Liberty, as far as I can tell, is no more than the ability to do something. TI1a tis, one is free to speak his mind in so far as he or she is able to do so. Likewise, a rock is free to roll down a hill so long as it has the ability. Liberty is power, and power is simply a means. Equality is the harder point. Nobel prize-winning economist Amartya Sen speaks on this issue in his book l1Iequality Reexami11ed He says, briefly, that no social theory can ever properly ask the question, "Why equality?" But instead, the only question that exists is, "Equality of what?" His thesis is that every social theory necessarily evokes the notion of equality of consideration. Any individual that wishes to propose a social theory must first provide an equality of consideration upon all people. It is imperative that there be a Rawlsian "Veil of Ignorance" behind which one must stand to judge all liberties. The veil of ignorance is John Rawls' basic criterion for justice. The basic idea is, one can only accept a "fair" set of circumstances if one is impartial to which party d1ey may find d1emselves \vithin. For example, if I were to propose that it would be fair to split a pie into two pieces: 4/Sths and 1/Sth, I would have to be completely comfortable in either situation. I wouldn't know entering the proposal whether I would receive the larger portion or the smaller. U ltimately, I would determine that this situation was unjust, unequal, and would create a disparity in freedom. One could use this argunJent to justify an equality of condition, that is, that all people ought to have access to all material gains equally. This is clearly absurd. I only mean to evoke Where: 2611 Housley Rd Annapolis.. MD 21401 dus argwnent to propose an equality of opportunity. Eacl1 individual ought to encounter no more resistance than any Whon: Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 1Oam-lpm other when pursuing d1eir individual goals. Tius brings inl1eritance into question, among a w hole host Who: Se11eant First Class Gary Epps (410) 573-9860 ofother things. Those factors wluch artificially render an indi- ADD ANEW ROUDNE TO YOUR OLD ROUTINE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �People Who Do Not Belong At St. John's by Stacey Goguen '09 Staff Writer "It is the mark of011 educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. " Aristotle Although St. Jolu1's offers a liberal arts education, we would be kidding ourselves not to accept the fact that most of what we do here with the Great Books falls under the category of philosophy. And the pursuit of philosophy is a very special activity, so much so that it takes a certain kind ofperson to fully appreciate it. Following is a list of people who do not fall under that category. POOR KIDS: Although the school has taken a stance on tllis question by offering need-based financial, it remains the fact that several authors on the program hold a different opinion. Thomas Hobbes wrote, "leisure is the mother ofpbi/osopi!J." Thus, if someone barely has time to devote to leisure because tl1ey need to work a full-time or work-study job, they can't pursue philosophy to the best of their ability. Also along tills line, Aristotle wrote, "Allpaidjobs absorb and degrade the mind." Furtllermore, it is obvious that if a student has to worry about working and paying bills and filling out the FAFSA, they are unable to contemplate the form of the good. Finally, if the college didn't have to waste money on giving poor kids financial aid because their parents were too lazy to become investment bankers, then it could spend that money on im- other from Aristotle. "Politicians also have 110 S portant things, like building a pool, or a parking leisure, because thry are aiJVqJI aimi11g at something garage. beyondpolitical life itself, power and gloiJ'• or happiRICH KIDS: Interestingly enough, rich kids 1/ess." So, politicians don' t make good who-have-never-worked-a-day-in-their-lives' Johnnies. Then again, politicians don't make may not be fit for St. John's either. Our school good human beings. CONCEITED PEOPLE: "IV'hat is thefirst motto is "I make fir!emen ott! of children I?Ji wqy of books and st'ales." Yet, Epicurus said, ''A free life busi11ess of one 1vho pradim philosopqy? To get rid ca11110t acquire ma11y possessions, because this is 1101 of se(fconceit. For it is impossible for a11yone to begin to /cam t!Jat which he thi11ks he alreacfy kn01vs," said Epicurus. 'Nough said. .M ISSONARIES: Terry Pratchett wrote, "people 011/y go to hell if that's where they believe, i11 oliticians don't make their deepest heart, tbat thry deserve to go. IV'hidJ good Johnnies. Then they won~ do if they do11 ~ know about it. This again, politicians don't explains wby it is so important /o sboot missio11aties 011 sigbt." Okay, so this isn't nessesarily conmake good human beings." cerning St. John's, but it's still a good point. In conclusion, there are lots of p eople who Ca[J to do 1vithout seroihty to mobs or monarchs." Thus, don't belong at St. Jolu1's. Now put you new a rich kid is boggled down "vith servility and knowledge to use. Make a bingo card out of mobs and monarchs, missing the valuable expe- people you don't think belong here, and play rience of having to earn their keep. Also, rich kids with your friends by sitting out of the quad may be on drugs, and the college handbook and pointing at all those people who are less states, "the use ofillegal drugs is incompatible 1vith the deserving that you. For another fun activity, purposes of tbe college program a11d commu!Ii!J." respond to this article telling the author how POLITICIANS: Going back to the "leisure much of a freak she is. ~ is the mother of philosophy" quote, here's an- Forum continued from front page on weekends. Gis were especially interested in gaining greater awareness of college events and traditions of which undergraduates appear to be better informed. Discussion of the undergrad social activities led quite logically into a discussion about tutors, with general agreement among Gis about the exceptional quality and commitment of the graduate tutors. The only concern mentioned was the desire to have a stronger connection between Gis and tutors, fostered by the provision of more time for social interaction. A post-tutorial, preseminar/ preceptorial social was proposed, although the ever-studious Gis felt that time might be better spent preparing for the following class. The Council-sponsored coffee hour held in the coffee shop from 4:305:00 PM on Mondays and Thursdays was promoted as a potential opportunity for Gis and tutors to socializ; however, tutor interest and availability remain uncertain. '' p to the subsequent necessity of choosing between a segment on tho se topics and the exis ting core segments. Interest in a music preceptorial was strong, although the time constraints of the semester led Gis to recognize the necessity of limiting such a preceptorial to "appreciation," rather than technical advancement. Ms. Owens, the Council's vice president, then shifted discussion to the question of social activities. As the Graduate Council is s till in its infancy, Council members were hoping the forum would yield ideas and potential interest in new social activities. The usual issues limiting GI socialization were raised, including long commutes and maturity (othenvise known as the ''I'm not 19 anymore and can't party all night" clause). However, even commuters were interested in generating greater connectivity and camaraderie among graduate students, especially 6 0 THE GADFLY 0 0 0 0 0 0 ° 0 0 ° 0 ° 0 0 0 0 0 0 • 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 The council is currently conducting inquiries into that matter. Other social events were proposed, including movie nights, a barbeque, or informal athletic gatherings, among others. The Gis were especially interested in more frequent receptions hos ted by the college President- perhaps every semester - as that reception was considered especially enjoyable. Finally, the Gis expressed an interest in receiving more communication distributed by email, which prompted Ms. Barry to solicit suggestions for a GI website which the council intends to establish. Council members were thrilled with the turn out and suggestions offered, and intend to hold similar forums in subsequent semesters. If you were unable to attend the forum and have any helpful comments or suggestions regarding Graduate Institute life, please email me at: emify.mawbiiiii'!J@gca.edu, or contact your council representative.~ 0 0 �Music continued from fro111 page success. The French horn has always be~n a pet peeve of mine. It can be one of the most beautiful sounds in an orchestra, or not. There is very seldom an "in-between." Fortunately, very few of the less pleasant sounds were heard today. The artist worked well with his accompanist, and the piece felt like it was performed in keeping with its elegant and playful character. In spite of her disclaimer about having a cold, Mrs. Jacqueline Thoms's performance of Two LoveSongs by her husband Hollis Thoms, was delightful. These songs seemed perfectly suited to her voice; I hope that the second song of the set be published and marketed to intermediate level voice students. The concert demonstrated quite well Mr. Thoms ability to write for an artist of any level. It deserves to be noted here that Mr. Hollis Thoms has, I believe, set himself apart as a man of extraordinary commitment to the arts and especially to music here at St. Johns College. There are other rather progressive composers who are now or have been associated wit.h the college in recent memory: Mr. Stephenson and the late Mr. Allanbrook spring immediately to mind as being men who were for quite some time on the leadi11g edge of the compositional art. One obvious difference between Mr. Thoms and these other two gentlemen is his relationship to the college: of the three, he is the only student. But tl1ere is also another important distillction between Mr. Thoms and these other men: their generation. All of these men ca11 be regarded as composers who show openness to new forms of expression. Mr. Thoms is the only one who can be credited with being a com- "M Though I can say little of the music of l\IIr. Alanbrook, I will point out that the twelve -tone system of composition employed by Mr. Stephenson is based on what are known as "tone rows": a sequence of the twelve notes of the chroma tic scale, such that no single note occurs twice. This sequence can be inverted, played in reverse, or both, or it can transposed to begin on any note of the chromatic scale. Such a row can then serve as the basis for a musical work, creating a serialized form of music that highlights the relationships of intervals. The m u sic of Mr. Thom s, though very different to the ear, is actually quite similar from a structu ral standpoint. Like Beethoven, Haydn and Wagner, Mr. Thoms is a composer who uses motives to st ructure a piece. The Requiem is based on a single four-note motive, which is altered throughout the piece to genera te the overall structure of the piece. The effect of this method, when it is well employed, is that no matter how different one movement is from another, the piece maintains a sense of unity. In a song like "Love Answered You," the simple repetition of the motive twice and then varied (a: I I a') in each verse illustrated the overall form of the poem. This was also an important feature of the programmatic piece Sibling Rivalry, which through its use of direct imitation and counterpoint painted quite plainly and humorously an image of two siblings bickering with increasing violence until the tension is resolved. The effect was quite profound; anyone in the audience w ith a brother or sis ter laughed. Although I cannot say w h ether Mr. Thoms is the embodiment of the future of music, he is a composer whose music should be listened to and appreciated. Although quite tonal, his bare harmonies have a chilling honesty about them, and sometimes push the limits of tonal thinking. I ftnd his music to be much more pure than big-name influences like John Adams, and tl1ere is a raw power coming from the music o f this Annapolis composer-cellist that reminds me of the music of anoth er great cellist and educator, Carl Orff. Tbe Gadf!J extends a hearty thanks to the artists who made tlus concert possible, and hopes that they will return again soon. ~ r. Thoms is a composer whose music should be listened to and appreciated. Although quite tonal, his bare harmonies have a chilling honesty about them, and sometimes push the limits of tonal thinking." poser in a contemporary style. Oddly enough I think this gives us a great insight to the student-tutor relationship at the school. By being grounded in the past, the tutors represent a tried and tested mode of thought, from which students, who bring in new thought, learn and study. At the same time, however, the tutors, by asking questions, are breaking down that o ld mode of thought and exposing it to the new thought of the students. King Williams Players Production: how far would you go for love? for art? the king williams players present neil labute' s the shape of things , directed by lia boyle. the shape of things is labute' s examination of the subjectivity of art, the reality of human compassion, and the way how we look on the surface affects who we are. Sat., March 25, and answer period Sun., March 26, Sat., April 1, 8:00 PM (followed by a question with the cast and the director} 3:00 PM 3:00 PM Tickets are Free . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 The Mitchell Gallery invites you to participate in: The St. John's College Community Art Exhibition 2006 April 22 - May 14, 2006 St. John's College undergraduate and graduate students: You may deliver up to three works of art and they may be for sale in the exhibit. Please deliver 2-dimensional work to the Mitchell Gallery for free matting and raming on Tuesday, April 11, between 12-5 p.m.Deliver three-dimensional work eithet· through Fine Arts instructors Debra Banker or John Jensen ot· deliver direcdy to the Mitchell Gallery on Saturday, April 15th between 10 a.m. and noon. Seniors (A'06): Selection of the Charles Vernon Moran Prize will take place in the end of ApriL This prize is awarded to a member of the senior class who submits the best work of visual art to The St. John~· Co/lege Communi(] Art Exhibition. Ifyou have atry questions, please call Hydee Schaller in the Mitchell Gallery at ext. 2556 or41 0-626-2556. Su to tr DATE DUE 2006-20( <:: y Johnnie Quotes of the Week Ms. D: I am a pastry ninja. Mr. R: Wow, the girls who used to work in the bookstore were really hot. Mr G: So if you have something that's nowhere, and nothing that's somewhere, and you put them together, you get something that's somewhere? Mr. S: You've been at St. John's for too long when a sentence like that makes sense. Mr. L: Wait a minute, what happened to the Nowhere-Nothing? Mr. B: Oh, don' t wony. That do~sn 't exist. Mr. K: Do people really ask questions when they're just kicking their feet in the air? Mr. T: No, you guys have got this bassackwards. [in a Timeaus seminar] SH : . . .. . . . . • . . • , . . . . . . . . (~I E~. ~1~S. LESS'fi-':\N .TH OS": ~T~IDR.J!.AJJTY DUFS) . . . . . . . • • •. . . . . . • . . . . : THE GADFLY Come Work With Us! Meetings: Tusdays at 5:30 BBC 109 8 . TI·fE G AD FLY . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . Sendyour memorable Johnnie bloopers to The Gadfly via campus mai4 or to stjohnsgad11y@gmaiLcom � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource McClay, Mark F. (Editor in Chief) Roberts, Aaron B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 18 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2006-03-23 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 18 of The Gadfly. Published March 23, 2006. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.18 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/4c58a20b732d7f098070c2f75dea0ac2.pdf 9eb9a17a7102d989980ab7c8ee815ffe PDF Text Text " ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY ANNAPOLIS, MD 21404 L _""" ( - <JI"- 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 31696 01137 6819 l I I i ' Also in this Issue: A Response to Mr. Rera (Pg. 3); Thoughts in Wartime (Pg. 5); SCI Minutes (Pg. 3); Pictures from Lola's (Pg. 8) �l T HE Letters & Announcements .,. ADFLy . G Editors-in-Chief Mark F. McClay Aaron B. Roberts Associate Editors Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Layout/Design Gabrielle Aines Anna Harvey Photographers Clarke Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Liz Curry Emily Mawhinney Clarke Saylor Hollis Thoms Kyle Varner Founded in 1980, the Gadf!J is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within arc the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadi!J' staff. The Gadf!J reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling io most cases. T he Gadf!J is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to gadfly@sjca.edu. Cover Photo: St. joh11's Allflll/llfS Kmt WalliNg of tbe U.S. Naval War College delivering a lecllfre 011 Thmy dides tbh past ja111fary. 2 Health Center Concerns It has come to our attention that some of the students have voiced displeasure in being asked about smoking habits. We would like to clarifY some of the Health Center practices. We attempt to adhere to the highest standard of care in medicine and nursing. "Standard of care" is what a reasonably prudent health care provider would do under similar circumstances. The standard ofcare calls for us to address health mainte- ••••••••••••W I 1 I SPRinG I 1 I : TICKET : : GIVEAWAY! : I I I : I : nance issues in addition to the reason for the patient seeking medical advice. There are many health maintenance issues, e.g. smoking, seat belt use, breast or testicular self-exam etc. Here at St. John's College we most often ask about smoking because ofits prevalence. Please understand that as health care professionals, in addition to rendering medical care for acute medical conditions, it is our mission and responsibility to support health maintenance and disease prevention. We welcome discussion of aJ!Y issue or questions that mqy makeyou uncomfortable. Feedback is the only way we know of your concerns which affords us the opportunity to explain the medical basis for Health Center practices. Harrison Health Center Staff: Carolyn Buppert, MSN, CRNP, JD Nancy Calabrese, MSN, CRNP Laura Sutton, RN Mary Alexander, RN Win 2 Free tickets to the National Symphony Orchestra periormance of 1 1 Bach's "St. Matthew 1 Passion" at the Kennedy I Center in Washington, I D.C. on Saturday, April : 15th at 8 PM. 1 1 1 I I I I ing box in the Asst. Dean's I office. Last day to enter : is Friday, April 7th. Winners will be notified by 1 1 phone or campus mail. I I : I would like to thank Mr. Tipps for his recent review in The Gadjfy. It was quite an honor to be reviewed with such musicial sensitivity. I appreciated the detail and thoroughness of his observations and comments. A critic provides a valuable service to the performers and composers when he is knowledgeable and takes seriously what he is reviewing. Mr. Tipps did a great job; he obviously has a lot of musical knowledge and is an excellent writer. I'd like to thank him and the The Gadffy for taking the time to review the concert. I will share the review with my family members who performed on Sunday. Again, many thanks for coming to both concerts and for reviewing them both. 1 Hollis Thoms, GI '06 I : 1 Enter your name and 1 1 phone number in the draw- I 1 I I I LIMIT ONE ENTRY PER I I STUDENT, PLEASE : I There will be 10 : winners for a total of 1 1 I 20 free tickets 1 I I ••••••••••••• THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mr. Tipps' Concert Review The King William Players presmt the shape of things Final Performance Saturday, April 1 FSKAuditorium, 3:00PM �SCI Minutes Let's All be Equally Poor and Miserable! by Liz Curry '07 by Kyle Varner '08 Upcoming Events The reading for the All-College Seminar (8:15PM, Friday, April14) has been changed from Xenophon's Symposium to "The Lame Shall Enter First," by Flannery O'Connor. Copies of the reading will be provided closer to the date. Logistics of the All College Picnic (1:00 PM, Saturday, April15) were discussed further, particularly the budget and picnic activities. If it happens to rain, the picnic will be moved inside to the FSK Lobby. The reading for the next Plato in the Springtime (7:30 PM, Tuesday, April4) is Hippias Minor, to be led by Mr. Maestrellis. There will be another Pre-Lecture Seminar (Friday, April 7) held before Ms. Tobin's lecture on Tocqueville and Emerson. Next week's meeting will focus once more on the question of Senior seminar in the Spring Semester. ~fs. Brann has suggested that there be a mini-preceptorial during the time between the Winter and Spring breaks, in which Seniors would pick from a limited list of twentieth-century texts from a variety of disciplines. The SCI will discuss this suggestion at 11:45 a.m. on Thursday, March 31. All members of the polity are welcome! Don Rags Don Rags and Junior Conferences will be held on the following dates: Monday, May 8 Tuesday, May 9 Wednesday, May 10 Thursday, May 11 Friday, May 12 Classes will be cancelled on these days; seminars will continue to meet. In his recent Gadfly article, ':A Critique of Anti-Egalitarian Libertarianism," Mr. Dan Rera demonstrates- as he has in previous Gar!ffy artides- a complete disregard for facts and reason, as well as a woeful misunderstanding of human liberty and natural rights. He invents an insidious and misleading definition of equality, goes on to employ it in a vain attempt to undennine the basic foundations of political and moral philosophy, and concludes by appealing to the mix of confusion and irrational emotions that are provoked by his pejorative language. Mr. Rera begins his loony leftist diatribe by asserting that he is a libertarian. l\1r. Rera is no more a libertarian than Attila the Hun! Reasonable readers of }..1r. Rera 's ridiculous rant readily recognize the real political ramifications of his rabid ideas. With his morbidly misguided and menacingly malicious attempt to advocate a perverted sort of equality, he advocates a brutal sort of totalitarian socialism that any liberty-loving American would find repulsive. [Editors' Note: This pndty paragraph pithilyyetpompously parades its auful animosity with such awesome alliteration.] What is equality, as it relates to politics? It most certainly has its roots in the establishment of a commonwealth. Men agree, either tacitly or explicitly, to be bound by laws created by a legislature. They make this agreement because it is good for them; because it secures their natural rights. Insofar as this is the purpose for which men establish a commonwealth, political equality can be considered only within the scope of the power of the state. Government can only treat men equally insofar as it can treat them at all. This means that laws are to be applied equally to all men, and that magistrates serve as impartial umpires, deciding cases based only upon the facts and their scope of power. Central to the creation of a commonwealth is the protection of men's property. What man owns is a partofllim-anditisimmoral to take it from him against his will. Moreover, man is no more capable of giving his consent in a social contract to have his property plundered from him at the will of his neighbors than he is to make himself a slave to a master. Explicit consent or not, legal plunder is still plnnder, and immoral in all circumstances. Equality with regards to the protection of a man's property means having everything that belongs to him protected against whoever should attempt to steal it. This includes a mob of poor and disaffected ne'er-do-wells who sell their votes to legislators in exchange for the legislator"s agreement to plunder from their upright neighbors and turn the booty over to them. There is nothing equal or fair about having the power of the state turned Equally continued on page 6 . "Pity and Rousseau's Three Savages" Can sentiment be the foundation of morality? The lecture explores the possibility in the context of a treatment of Rousseau's writings on pity. Special attention is given to Rousseau's different depictions of the savage, and to their relevance to his account of human nature. Mr. Jeffrey Smith, tutor Friday, March 31 8:15 FSK Auditorium . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �"What do You do on Friday Nights?" The Institution of Lecture at St. John's by Emily Mawhinney, GI '07 Staff Writer Multiple variables must converge in order to produce a successful lecture. Comfortable seating is crucial. Good acoustics and a well-lit room combine with the necessity of easily seeing the speaker- but these are merely the physical requirements necessary to sustain the body. A truly successful or exceptional lecture must feed the mind, transporting it beyond the confines of the body, space and time. It is a challenge to deliver such a transcendent experience, especially as such an outcome demands the audience act as effective recipients. In order for a lecture to be successful, the audience must comply with certain rules. Silence is paramount, as are all the normal rules of public behavior. However it is most critical that the audience listens actively and engages with the speaker. Many undergraduate students will not share my extensive experience with the traditional college lecture outside of St. John's, which I had the pleasure of enduring throughout my undergraduate, and- I confessprevious graduate studies. It is as a seasoned veteran that I can say with certainty that the St. John's lecture is a rare phenomenon indeed. Originally conceived as a mandatory compliment to the undergraduate curriculum, the lecture today draws members of the graduate institute and community at large, in addition to undergraduates. Although attendance is now strongly encouraged, rather than expressly mandated, the lecture remains an invaluable part of the St. John's curriculum. The format of the lecture has not changed a great deal over the years, although the locale was moved from the Great Hall to the Francis Scott Key auditorium. The main purpose of the lecture remains the same, according to Dean Dink, to provide "an occasion for the whole community to hear a living thinker articulate the results of his or her serious thinking about some matter of importance and to have the opportunity to ask questions and engage in dialogue with the speaker." For the Dean, the lecture thus plays a central role in the curriculum by "expanding the intellectual life" of students outside the classroom. Furthermore, according to college statements regarding the academic program, "L examine topics and/ or author who cannot be fit into the great books curriculum for a variety of reasons, such as medieval non-Christian thinkers or issues of contemporary science. The topics and themes are derived largely from complementary discussions occurring in undergraduate classes, but are also conceived through suggestions of students and tutors. Mr. Flaumenhaft emphasizes that suggestions are very welcome, and encourages all students, including those in the graduate institute to offer potential topics, although the schedule is usually booked a year or so in advance. In addition to its role as an important aspect of the college curriculum, the lecture is also significant within the community of Annapolis. The lecture "enriches the life of the college primarily," according to Mr. Flaumenhaft, but it also "enriches the life of the town." The lecture could perhaps extend the intellectual life of community participants in the same way Mr. Dink hopes the lecture will influence college students. To test my theories of what makes the St. John's lecture a rare and successful phenomenon, I arrived early for Ms. Jacqueline Pfeffer-Merrill's lecture, Polity in Aristotle S Politics, to survey the crowd and choose an ideal seat. I was impressed with the turnout of undergraduates, tutors, community members and even a few graduate students. I was equally impressed with the custom of the audience rising to their feet as the lecturer approached the podium. However I was caught off guard when Ms. Pfeffer-Merrilllaunched immediately into her talk, without introduction of the topic or herself. You will have to forgive me, dear reader, if this is a sacred Johnnie custom: I find that a brief introduction of the topic and the speaker is very useful in setting the purpose, tone and pace for the subsequent lecture. Per- ecture provides an occasion for the whole community to hear a living thinker articulate the results of his or her serious thinking about some matter of importance and to have the opportunity to ask questions and engage in dialogue with the speaker." -Michael Dink, Dean 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . the lecture "inculcates in the students the habit of listening steadily and attentively to the exposition of a perhaps unfamiliar subject, and it gives them the opportunity to exercise their dialectical skills in a setting different from the classroom." According to the Dean, Michael Dink, question period is also a key aspect of the lecture, as it provides students with the opportunity to engage with faculty in a mode other than tutorial or seminar. The Dean remembers question period being a particular attraction during his tenure as a student, due to the vigorous questioning by faculty that would ensue. Similarly, former-Dean, Harvey Flaumenhaft, finds that the question period can be particularly engaging, especially if issues are left unresolved in the lecture. He also cites the lecture as an important tool with which to "expand the program" of the college. The lecture provides an opportunity to study a particular topic in more depth, or �haps I was simply caught off guard, as I was suffering from the implacable urge to take furious and copious notes as 't he lecture began. You see, the St. John's lecture is made especially unique by the elimination of the feverish necessity of recording every word uttered by the speaker, to be regurgitated later on a test. This is really the most exceptional aspect of the St. John's lecture: To let the ideas of the speaker wash over you, to follow the logic of the lecturer as they construct a thesisin short, to listen. This simple opportunity afforded students to listen. Thus there are a number of variables that combine to make the St. John's lecture a truly enjoyable and fascinating experience. The audience of students, tutors and community members maintain a broad understanding of the subject matter, and a vested interest in the lecture as part of the curriculum, thus producing an engaged audience. The FSK auditorium is particularly well suited to the comforts necessary to lecturer and audience alike. The topics of the St. John's lecture tend to represent compelling ideas that help further the libera l arts agenda. However, I suspect the true success of the St.John's lecture is derived fr~m the magic of the college itself, and the fleeting opportunity afforded students to listen, and thus become enlightened. This is a tradition to foster and cherish. 4!lr THE GADFLY Come Write For Us! Meetngs: T usdays at 5:30 BBC 109 Send submissions to stjohnsgadfly@gmail.com Some Thoughts in Wartime by Hollis Thoms, GI '06 Every sixteen years I go and get another masters degree. I am on my third, doing the graduate degree here at St. John's. During my first masters degree at Northwestern University our country was going through the Vietnam War. Recently, when I was going tluough some boxes that had family history, I found a notice from my selective service board, dated October 25, 1972, stating that I was to report for my armed forces examination on November 20, 1972 at 6:15am at 615 West Van Buren in Chicago. I was given CTA tokens enclosed for my round trip transportation. While I was against the war from the start, it wasn't until I was compelled to report for my armed forces exam that I realized that the war wasn't out there somewhere in the abstract or for someone else, it was laying claim to me personally and to my life. Northwestern University had a draft counseling service and I began to prepare for my conscientious objector status, writing my essay and getting letters from my pastor, lawyer uncle and a friend who was a decorated Vietnam Veteran to support my conscientious objector status request. I felt that my government was compelling me to do something that was contrary to my religious beliefs. To me, all war is wrong. It wasn't until I received that simple notice in the mail that I realized the war was directly impacting my life. Unless I did something to resist my government's claim on my life for the purposes of war I would have to go to war to kill someone else. I submitted my request and I received my conscientious objector status. Now, working on my third masters degree during another war it is dija VJI all over again; I see my fellow graduate students, many who are in their twenties, and think about now in context of how it was then, over thirty years ago. (I have three children who have finished a doctorate, a masters and almost done \vith a bachelors degree, so can relate to what lives of twenty-somethi.ngs are like no\v.) My question to those in their twenties going to undergraduate or graduate school is this: Because the government is not compelling you to go to an unjust, immoral and unnecessary war, have you conveniently absolved yourself from taking any moral stance \vith regard to this war? I s it 011/y when the government compels you to kill for its purposes (as it did me thirty years ago to fight for a war that I felt unjust, immoral, and unnecessary) that a moral stance is taken? Is your morality contingent on government coercion? Where are the war protests? \V'here are the sit-ins? Where are the take overs of college offices? Where are the acts of civil disobedience? Is it because those in their twenties are safe and don't have to make a decision that they choose not to take any moral stance at all? Is morality only based on being compelled to do something by an outside force? Is there no moral obligatio11 based on personal convictions or beliefs? What about the absence of a draft, and the " deceptive" freedom thereby given to young people allowing them to abstain from moral decisions? Shouldn't you be demanding that you be compelled by the government to fight an unjust, immoral and unnecessary war so that you can make a moral choice that has some real meaning and moral force? Isn't our government, by not having a draft, allowing itself to carry on an unjust, immoral and unnecessary war without having to confront what it would have to confront if each draftee had to wrestle with his or her conscience about what claim the government has on his or her life, and the government's command to kill others for whatever cause it deems necessary? Thirty years ago that little notice compelled me to make a moral choice against war. I made my decision and took my stand. War is wrong, and I will not be a part of it now or ever. No little notice is going to come to twenty-someth.ings this year compelling you to make a moral choice. Don't look for it in the mail. If you are going to feel compelled to make a moral decision it will have to come from within your own self. However, as this unjust, immoral and unnecessary war rages on, now in its third year, how are you going to feel thirty years from now when your twenty-somethings ask you (as my twentysomething children have asked me about Vietnam) where were you when the tanks entered Baghdad and the bombs obliterated everything and everyone in sight? 4\lr . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Equally continued ftom page 3 against a man--or a group of men, in order to phmder their possessions. Rich or poor, it is unjust for the government to treat one man differently from another. J\'lr. Rera specifically attacks inheritance as somehow detrimental to human liberty. He claims, Those factors which art(ficiaf!y render an individual more or less able to pursue that which he or she flndJ et!}qyable are utyitst. Moreover, these factors t'reate an arbitrary lack qf freedom in some and not others. Hopifui!J, this will tm!J make libertarians' ears stand on edge, that, based on nothing but human-created circumstance, some people in society will be blessed as more free than others. Free to do what, :Mr. Rera? Free to purchase a big screen television or drive an expensive car? Free to purchase expensive horses and go on fox hnnts on sunny spring days? These aren't rights, and freedom can't be Wllere: Z611 HoiiSiey Rd Annapolis, MD 21401 Wilen: Mon-Fri 9am-$pm, Sat 10am-2'pm W!Jo: SergeantHrst Class Gary Epps (410) 513-9860 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . legitimately attached to any of them. },n economic transaction-which is the only thing one can do with money-involves an agreement between two consenting adults. They trade money (frozen creative potential) for other creative potential. One can only be free from restraint; in a just society, a free society, a libertarian society (these are all the same thing), men are not restrained by the law from doing any of these things-they are only lim~ ited by their creative potential (i.e. money). ''But no," cry the leftist girly-boys, "it's not fair for some people to inherit money when others don't!" If inheritance were to be confiscated by the thieving thugs at the Inter~ nal Revenue Service, would that be fair? Would it be fair to the rich man on his death bed who wants to give his money to his son? It wouldn't be fair to anyone! A law enacted to restrict what a dying old man may do with the fruits of his life's labors is unfair, unjust, contrary to liberty and freedom, and just plain wrong. The old man on his deathbed is being denied his right to property. Of all the unfortunate and vulnerable people leftists want to victimize! Interestingly, I\1r. Rera argues that, in order for a random division of wealth to be fair, a person would have to be comfortable receiving whatever part of the random division he receives. He incorrectly uses the metaphor of a pie, and argues that it would be unfair to split the pie into 4/5'" and 1/5'", even if the pieces were distributed randomly. He would have the pie split in hal£ \Xlhat J\1r. Rera fails to mention is that, when the pie is simply distributed evenly, far less pie gets made. Because of our system of capitalism (which thrives on men becoming fabulously wealthy), the pie grows very large. Here is the choice: JVIr. Rera offers you a pie that is five units in size, and suggests that it would be fair, just and equal to give you 2.5 units. Libertarian capitalism (which he criticizes as unjust and unfair) offers you a much larger pie- perhaps 100 units. The wealth is distributed disproportionately, perhaps 90% to one person and 10% to the other person. Under this incredibly unfair, unjust and unequal system of"anti-egalitarian libertarianism," even the most unfortunate individual receives 10 units. The choice: everyone has the same amount of wealth, and everyone is poor and miserable, or, wealth is distributed unevenly, with a large amount in the hands of a few, and even the poorest and most unfortunate find themselves better of£ :Mr. Rera would see man made equal by means of reduction to the lowest common denominator. Ya gotta love eqnallty! Socialists use their fake fairness argument in part of their larger scheme: destructive class warfare. It starts in kindergarten, when they get jealous of the kid with the fancy luncbbox. Later, they begin to hate everyone who achieves what they don't They lust after what isn't theirs. Then they grow up, and instead of seeking the help of a qualified psychotherapist, they join the Democratic Party (or one of its crazier derivatives). They maliciously appeal to the worst parts of the human soul in their attempts to subvert the natural rights of their neighbors. Make no mistake: socialism is a mental illness, much like kleptomania. By stealing from one's neighbors (whether under the pretense of promoting equality or not), one places one's self at war with humanity. One becomes a beast of prey, with whom man can have no society. Tills is the essence and substance of the subversive socialist policies advocated by I\1r. Rera. Attila the Hun would be proud! "'r �-, ' The Mitchell Gallery invites you to participate in: The St. John's College Community Art Exhibition 2006 April 22 - May 14, 2006 St. John's CoUege undergraduate and graduate students: You may deli\•er up to three works of art and they may be for sale in the exhibit Please deliver 2-dimension:tl work to the Mitchell Gallery for free Infilling a11d jm111i11g on Tuesday, April 11, between 12-5 p.m.Deliver three-dimensional work <1iber through Fine Arts instructors D ebra Banker or John Jensen or deliver directly to the Mitchell Gallery on Saturday, April IS"' between 10:00 AM and noon.Continuing Education Fine Arts Students, Faculty and Staff: You m:ty submit one work of art and it may be for sale in the exhibit. Please deliver 2 and 3-dimensional work to the ]'viitcbell Gallery on Tuesday, April ll'h between 12 and 5:00p.m. Seniors (A'06): Selection of the Charles Vernon Moran Prize will take place in the end of April. This prize is awarded to a member of the senior class who submits the best work of visual art to Tbe St. Jolm} Collrgr Cowmmi!J Art Exbibitio11. Ifyou have af!Y questions, please call Hydee Schaller if! the Mitchell Gallery at ext. 2556 or 410-626-2556. ~TOYOTA + + + DATE DUE = YOUR IIIW CAR .u..,.,. '17,3&att ~TOYOTA I mOviRI flrwml ~ 1EPA ESTIMATED MPG FOft 200S CORalA SMODEL 1812 _. SIEEO AUTO. ACruAl HIEA~ MAY VAK'f. 11~RP FOft 2006 SPORl iVICUl 1a1 EXCIJ.JOING TAX, TAGS AND UC~E fEfS_ ~N.ER ~TS FINAl PS!ICE. 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 --- --········--·--···· --- Victur-es fr-um by Clarke Saylor '08 8 THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ------ -- L()la~s � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource McClay, Mark F. (Editor in Chief) Roberts, Aaron B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 19 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2006-03-30 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 19 of The Gadfly. Published March 30, 2006. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.19 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/e1f2224b97d336d8a11564deba7974e8.pdf f25dfb941f36fdbf080b97eb267e40af PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY l l l l l l l l l~ ~ml~l,il l~l~l~l l l l l l l l l ( · 31696 01137 7429 �11 I I THE qrGADFLY Editors-in-Chief Mark R McClay Aaron B. Roberts Associate Editors Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Layout/Design Gabrielle .Aines Anna Harvey Photographers Clarke Saylor Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Aaron Brager Alex Ossipovitch Founded in 1980, the GadflY is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, fuculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as ~ell as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and· Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinion s of the Gadfly staff. The Gadf!J reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadf!J is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not pcint anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless peanission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to gadfly@sjca.edu. THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 2 Letters & Announcements Response to Mr. Varner Dear Editors, In his article utiAUbe Equaf!y Poor andMiserable! (The Ga4f!y, March 30), Mr. Varner makes some excellent points. The fact that he does it all in an unabashed, unapologetic style makes the article all the more worthwhile. I will take him to task, however, when he makes the bold statement that socialists"... grow up, and instead of seeking the help of a qualified psychotherapist ... join the Democratic Party (or one ofits crazier derivatives)." I will, and I think I do this safely, assume that when he says "crazier derivatives" he is directly referJlJlg to the Republican Party, of which he is perhaps a member. According to many studies (and yes, I do read these things) done by highly regarded, COfl.mvalive organizations, the current Grand Old Paty administration and Congress have increased the size of government more and in less llme than OI!J other administration and Congreu havt i11 the past.ftft.yyears. The compassionate, supposedly small-government conservatives have finally gotten power and have swiftly become Big-Goverrunent Conservatives. In filet, if one were to describe them most accurately, they have become Big-Government Social Conservatives. In other words, it is perfectly fine to spend other people's money, and billions of it, as long as it helps to espouse and often mandate what are coyly called "traditional values." Liberty and freedom be damned! Longlive King George (also now commonly referred to as Franklin Delano Bush)! Sean Penny '08 Reality Dues .You can pay your Reality dues every Friday from 11:45am-1 :OOpm in the lobby of the Dining Hall Dues are $25 for freshmen, sophomores, and juniors and $10 for seniors Dues will increase $5 every two weeks starting Apri!7rll (except for seniors) ·If you do not want your dues money t go towards the purchase of alcohol, you can tell the Reality representative at the table and they will insure that your money goes to help cover other Reality expenses, such as food. ·The New 2006 Reality T-shirts are now available for sale at the Reality table for $15 Don Rags and Junior Conferences will be held on the following dates: Monday, May 8 Tuesday, May 9 Wednesday, May 10 Thursday, May 11 Friday, May 12 Classes will be can~elled on these days; seminars will contin11e to meet. Last Chance Algebra Exams Antepenultimate exam: Wednesday, April 12 at 7:30p.m. Penultimate exam: Saturday, April15 at 10 a.m. Ultimate exam: Wednesday, M~y 3 at 7:30 p.m. All will be given in Mellon 206 and/ or 208. Take your IDs. ............. . _ I ··'··· . . .·, ··.·· ... r,.· . ~:'.!' --· ~ 1 . :,,PR,.n.~ =· TI.~l<ET:·: · 1 I · -~ :.:-... Glv.En·w ·nY.f~.-. :~~,·~ : ·:: w(n 2 ~~ee ~i·9.~~ts_tcd~~:-Na!i·o~ai : 1·:.:~Y~Ph~~y qrch~str(l p~rfO.m:!a_nc,:e-.1 · of B.ach's "St. Matthew Pas- . at I ··~, si.on". th~·ke'~'rledy:C~~~e_rl~: -- I .. I .. washington;,D.G. ,on Sat~.:~fday, ·. I I ·: ·: .: .:·:April '1'5tti ~t a PM. ' . .I I ..· Entefyot..l_nall)Erand:phone: _ -.-.1 r: 1· numb~r,in the drawing box in the · 1 1 · A~st., D~.~n·s :9ffiG~: · Last ~ay ~o 1 1 .: .. · ent~r Is .Fr!~ay, AJ)ril 7th •.'./- 1 I Winners will be ~otifiE:)d_ by:p.lione, I I .~.rca~~~~ ":~all: " . ._ ' . . I .... I · ~·MIT ()NE· laN.TR'Y rE~. I I 1·:: '· ·_,s .TUDENT, P1:-EA,S~ _ .Th~re will"be .1~ .. ·. . 1 • ·. winners for a total of... 1- : ·.. _20 free ·ticic:e:t s · : · ·....·1 __ · 1 ·: ·, ....................... . �Ayn Rand to Replace Plato's Phaedrus by Alex Ossipovitch '09 Monday afternoon, in a memo disseminated campus-wide through campus mail, Dean Michael Dink announced that the Instruction Committee had passed~ motion replacing the terminal reading on the senior seminar curriculum, Plato's Phaedrus, with Ayn Rand's The Fountailrhead. -In passing, Mr. Dink remarked, "Our students read the Bible so why not read The Book? All thinking men and women should be aware of the powerful influence of Objectivist philosophy, and we as responsible educators should introduce this material to our students to be seriously considered and scrutinized." Former dean, Mr. Harvey Flaumenhaft, disputed the change as "probably unwise," and likely to be reversed in a few years if the Instmction Committee ftnds that it has not had a positive effect. Other faculty were more outspoke'n in tl;leir disapproval of the decision. Mr. Thomas May was characteristically skeptical: "Being named as I am after the apostle who doubted, I can't say that I'm very conftdent about this decision." Mr. John Verdi said that "we cannot part with the Phaedrus. :But if Ayn Rand were ever to be introduced onto the program at all, perhaps we should consider replacing Hegel instead of Plato, because few of our students are even able to parse his jarbled syntax anyway." Asked what author Any Rand might have replaced instead of Plato, there was no clear consensus among tutors, except for Mr. Datchev, who unhesitatingly replied: "Marx." Tutor and former dean Ms. Eva Brann said, "While I can't say that I'm pleased with the change, I respect the decision of the Instruction Committee, particularly with the assurance that this change won't be permanent And who knows? Perhaps it's not such a terrible change; The Fountainhead is a very good book for its kind. I'm sure our seniors will ftnd it stimulating." Ms. Brann also added that "this certainly would not have happened when I was the dean." Reactions by St. John's students, on the other hand, have been mixed. Some, such as senior Daniel Schwartz, are pleased by the change. "Some people at this school believe that Plato is God," he said. "Others - and I won't name any names - think that God is God. But it should be painfully clear to the intellectual elite at this college that Ayn Rand, in fact, is God." Another student joked, ''Well, she's dead. So we ought to be able to read her. Right?" Some students expressed more concern over the change. Senior Erik Geannikis fears that "reading the Fountainheadwill turn Senior Prank into an anachronism ... Which seminar Friday Lecture: Musical Events: _ f\.liberating:_ .' ,Re: stlessness: . . ·.·. : .. •. . Emiiso1l ' and TocqU.evill.e. . . . on. ·oe.mocracy and dle . . --- . lndtvtduaL ' ·. ·. _Cho.mber Recito.l: Mullc h'\1 Rtcho.rd Stro.uu, Saint-So.ene, Waharn, o.nd Bro.hma. Rising 9oung violini!t, Na Sun, will re-turn to the Great Hall with a recital ol music h9 Richard Strauss, Saint-Saens, W ehern, and Br..hm... She;., a graduate of Central ConservalollJ, Beijing, and Boston Universii'J. Her teacher, the revered 95 9ear old violinist Roman Totenherg, performed in the Great Hall in the late 1930•. SundalJ,April 9 4:00PM Great Hall "On reco~ding the· Matthew Pa•don with K1r1 o.nd Sir Georg" MS, JOANNA . TOBIN,, ·. TUTOR ·.· . .. .. Friday, April? · .s:1s FSK A~ditorium Az, inlormal. talk h~ R...~ Still, principal ohoe o£ the Chicago SymphonlJ Orchestra for over 30 9ears. Mr. Still will present an Informal talk with musical examples £ocusing on what it is like for the performer to breathe lile Into the arias of the St. Matthew Passion. Sunda9, April 9 7:00PM Conversation Room do you think we'll always want to prank? No senior in his right mind will want to read that god-awful trash. There won't be any surprise anymore." Junior Elizabeth Curry, who is also Secretary of the Student Committee on Instruction, was livid. "I seriously would have hung myself," she said, "if I'd just been tall enough to reach the ceiling." Faculty responses to this change have been mixed, but generally receptive. Mr. Peter Kalkavage commented that the spring semester of senior year is traditionally the most fluid part of the program. "I can't say that The Fountail1head is the book I would have picked if it had been up to me," he said. "But given some of the others under consideration-including J.D. Salinger's Catcher i11 the Rye and Stephen R. Covey's The Sevm Habits of High(y Effective People- this was probably not the worst choice." The change awaits the approval of the St. John's College Board of Visitors and Governors, but the dean says that he does not foresee any difficulty in getting the decision approved. Mr. Dink points out that this change is "not unprecedented." The last reading for the Santa Fe campus was changed twelve years ago from Phaedrus to The Hitchhiker's Guide to theCa~. Mr. Caswell was unavailable for comment. ...... SP Minutes by Aaron Brager '06 Wednefday, March If 8:3opm -Roll call: Archons, Todd Parker and Mr. Verdi are_ prefent. The Archon of.all archons, the alpha and the omega, Jefus, who is always· prcfent, was alfo there. Alfo in attendance: Many feniors ... and Kate Sullivan 8:33pm- Date for prank is fet for April 16. 8:34pm - Difcuffion of·theme for prank: Greg Schroeder fuggefis that "as long as there's enough liquor and copies of Jiume to go around, we'll have a good time." Mr. Verdi objeds and fuggefis "that Senior Prank be abolilhed on the Annapolis campus." o8:37pm- With a peculiar wiggle of his nofe, Jefus replaces Mr. Verdi with an animal that looks to fome like a duck and to others like a rabbit. Everyone is pleafed. Todd Parker exClaims, "This is all prefiidigitationl" o8:38pm- Jefus overrules all other fuggefiions. April 16 is to be his fecond coming. In the fpirit of compromife, it will alfo be the theme of Senior Prank. He then tells a few parables. "9:13pm - Brian Jones enters and asks why everyone ifn't at Harry Browns and then makes a motion to move the meeting there . Motion palfes. o1 :pam -Meeting is adjourned. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �.- .;, :: .. .·: The Mitcnell Gallery invite's you to participate in: ·· ;· _:· .:.·:· ._,.. ,....;·; _·:·ff,e'·st.-<J~Iln·,~- coi1~Y.e· .:. · :_: .". · · ··_ · ·· ·::-~ coinm.unit}'Afi·,f=xhiiJitiorr~oo_6 ... . .' · ·· ~.;.· ·i.,./· ·; -... ·-: :.:~ -~ .· ·: · .< :· ..A~·ril22--~ · ay·14. M _.· . :,.\ r~<·~~-,: : .. :· ~ ·.;;,.:,· ·; :'"-,:: ",~i.:-;; . .:··:_;,' : ·.; .. :. 2oos ·: .·. , ._::.: .·. , . . .. . ·.. .. . . . . .. . .. St. John's College unde_graduate_a~d gradtilJ.te students: You M?-Y d~li.v~r up ~o three·work~ of iut and they may be for sale 'in the_ r exhibit Pleas!; 'deliver 2-dimensional work to ·thc=Mitch:etl G:illery for free matting aniJ ff!Zmini on Tuesda~·Aprir between 12-5. p.m.Deliver thre~-dimensional work ·iJJJH through Fin'e t s_ Arts instructors Debra Banker.or John Jen_en Dr deliver directly ·io the Mitchell Gallery on· Saturday, AptjltS~~> between 10:00 AM and noon.Continuing Education F.i:eAl:tsSIIri:nt& ~clrlStaffYou ~ay _ submit one.. work of art and it-may be for sale in the .exbibit Please .deliver 2 tJ.Ild 3-dirnensionaJ work to .the Mi~che~. G~~Cy on Tu<;sil~y, _April' ~ 1~- betwe~n; 12. ?-0~ ~:00 p.m: ·~eniors (A'O<l)) Selecti~~ o~ the .Charles Vern~n Mqran p'rize ~ ta.J<e pla~e. -~ the end of April. Tiu~ paze ts. a\yarded to - ~ member of ·.the st;nlor cl.ass. ~ho su~.rmts t~e. ,best ~vork of VIsual art to Theo 'St. JobnJ College Cqmmll!ll{j Art Exbtbttton. . · ·. 11: ,. . ·:· ;.~: :, .<:. ·;~..:·· ~ -. · lf;ou h~ve~4~ qk;s~~nj>pieai;~;afi:Hyd7.~ ; chaJJe~ ·. . • • ·-.... • f• \:. ;; .. l : ,, • . · .. : ..-··: ...: ·;~~ ...-.-=···:- in the..MitcheilGt;~JJery ·at ext.:.2556 or41Q-626~2556. - . . • . 4 ·--. ,:~ . .·~ :'\ '. ;) '1 . . ~.:.:. !•.:... ••• :· :· ... : .... • • . •• . • • - .· . - ·' • . ~- ' . ,· ·~·--· .• • •• • • ,._ . __.. • . • ··:" . ' ·. . • . •• - . • ~l!~~OOIID n~;rw~®: MACPHBISIIIITBUT fROII1' IUIPIISJOI + AMIIM/CD \VITI I BPIAKERI + SJDIIIDCIEB PAIIILS + 38MPGHWTt DATE DUE = YOUR IIEW CAR asarwx8f7,36Q 11 ®TOYOTA 1movin6 tor.w11rd" l e12 4 SfEW AUTO,AC11.1A1 MIEA:GE MAY VA1.'f.. 11MSRP FOR 2006 SF<m Mona 1S12 EX:CWDING TA,'( TAGS mo UCENSE FEES. DEAlER SUS F ~• INAl 1EPA ~ST~MTED MPG FOR 2005 CORCUA SMODEL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ·; .. .. ........... . ..... THE GADFLY . . : .... . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 4 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource McClay, Mark F. (Editor in Chief) Roberts, Aaron B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 20 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2006-04-01 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 20 of The Gadfly. Published April 1, 2006. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.20 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/715f77919897f77a647e67de522b3b97.pdf ff34377dd92330c411e5966e3305af20 PDF Text Text �THE ~GADFLY Editors-in-Chief Mirk F McClay Aaron B. Roberts Associate Editors Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Layom/De.sign o~brielle .1\.ines Anna Harvey Distribution Manager John Sclmler PhotogNJ>hers Clarke. Sayk>r Alex Lorman Contributing to this Issue Liz Curry Lan Mi<hocls DL P<;rrdl Dan R.ei11 Tabitl:w. Hall Greg Schfoedet Emily M:a.whinney Jennikr Wright Found.:d :i.n 1980, dte G~J;//fy is the student wttkly distdbuttd fret to ovtr 500stuelettts, !a.cu.lty, and st:a.ff of the Anrupolkcampu.'i a$ wdl :"iS rutoJ.10 emeriti~ member~> of th.e: Baaed of Visltot:!;i :llld GovE:rcors, arr.d the offices at the S.t, John~s S.ant~ Fe campu!l. Opinions expressed within :u:e the rhc ihllie .respo:;.n'iibiiiry of d1e allthor(s):and d~) n9t o~­ essatilly reprt-:sent the •Opb:tions of tbe Gadi!J staff. Letters & Announcements Apologia f,'erdiotts To the Seniors:This ye-.a.t you did pr.ank reo! [sic] good, mostly. "The Continwtltl" reminded me of something Nietzsche says .about EmcrsrJfl; "At times her touches on the cheerful u.:anscendcnce ofthcwruth gentleman ·who returned ft-om an amon)u$ rende-n"'u.~, hmN_fllam ,ey l11!me ,g!:s!J [as •fthlfigs had gooe wdiJ '[}tdnint tin"S,,t he said gratefully, 'tllinenestlam:lanch vulupt'".<s' [Thq.,gh the power be hcki.ng, the lust L, nevcrthdc& praiseworthy]." [Nictz.sche adapted the Latin from Ovid by changing an 'n' <D a 'P·1 John Yocdl, tulot The iGemra#on I and most of my fellow students at'1: members of the iGenexation, the M:illennials, Genet'.rtion Y, the M'fV Gen<'l>.lion, the EchoBoomers. "'" did ll<>t live through 1\<kt"Mtbyism, the V.etruun W':!r,orstsgllation_ W< grew up with lhe lnt<:n'!<t. We t:njoyed the pwsperity of the nineri~.s. We hc.'We a unique colle<:l".M: identity: M.r. Thoms's lctter [1\.fruxh 30, 20061 essentially condrmnro this iGwe.rntion. According to his article_. we~ bccmL"C we havt not fdt the sting of lhe draft, are negle<:ting ru bah:" mod smnce oo d>elmq war. E= more tl:w.n this, 11Ic l11on1s fcrls that Vl'C ottght to reject the war and participate in -s.it~in5~ tbe capture of colkge of6CC5._, :and ci\11 disobedience~ \'Vtutt seems strange tO rne. about these suggestions ls how mu-ch they n:setnble the xricms uken by " previous genemtion. Yeats atldy<al-' ago, therev;ma whole generation of kids that refused ru stand up and fight f•.>r the Unitro States during the V~et:ru.m \1:\u: Tim"' in thcir furtics and fifiics were appalled wid> dlls stance. Middle-aged people who fooght in \\"WTI brlicvro that d;e>e kids were bzy, spoilro, .nd disk,r:d. I do not necess.rily think that they wm lazy, spoiled, and disloyal. I rk belie.-e_, h""'"=· that it L.-; un&ir frtt one generation to judge- another as inferior to itsel£ This type of criririsrn is """'cly \Vhat :M:r. TI1oms's groen:ttion ~--~norcd.• and as a n::sult, new .reactioos and rcspooscs to politiaal 1\l.atters came about .Mr. Thoms·s conck:mnation of our genera~ tioo's fuilings is ma·ely a reJ.-..etition of the same pht:namert<m fr,-.n prior dec~ Igue% hl$0>1')' is destined to repeat itsel£ We should complek the cyde and tune out this &n.ox-~cly :ulvke. The Ca#f.J .reservt~ the .tight to .a<."Ctpt:, rt:ject; aod edit :mbmisslons in :lfi)' W.t? nece:ss~ (0 pubiM the tt'I.Ost tho·l.lghtfu.l, infonn~civt_~ artd. thoughtprovoking ilewspaper which circum.Stloces at St Jobn':~i penu.it. Letters of :200 words or fewer haw a better dunce of being publtshed th.m tho~ longer than dtis lim.iL L::ru:rs ~mbminoi v.rill be edited for g.r..ml~ m,;u:, puncruation, and spclii.ng in most c~ses. The Cadjly is not obtig•t«l to publish :.11 submission• md will not print anonymous submi.S!i.ions exci!pt under special d!(:Umstance!), De:kdline-: S:arurday at midnight, unle:ss permls~ aion for :11 delay is gra:ntod in .advane~ Subm:is-sio.ns will be acct.pted <'IS long as they ~rt legibJy writttitr bm typed copies, dislxma,.a.nd e-mail submissions :Ht= gn::ady prcffired. Ple.ase e~maiJ submi~'Sitln$ to gadHy®'sjc•.edn. Ur.wr PWIK M~wb Gala ?4tJ9) -amd Bn~m J{}!Wf (.:4'06) .11 ha u.•td;} Stt~lv Prank. 2 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �SCI: A Proposal and a Challenge by Liz Curry '07 On: Timrsda.y,l\1arch 30, the Student Com.m.ittee on LtL~true:tiot1 held a lunchtime tbrun1 concerning senior seminaL Jvis, Brann gave ;ol brief synopsis of a discussion that rc:cr"ntly occurred at a furulty meeting and her rubsa1uent .idea!t She s.t:Jted that one question tlut is address.ed \Vhen the readings fOr the scron:d sc1ncstcr of SC"nk.-..r year <lR" considered is this: bow should the modern world be adciR:sscd in a liberal arts progrnm such as St. Johds,? Tiu:-re is a great wealth af \Vtitings frot:n which to dlOO.l\e .in SC'Vcnl diftO:ent disciplinC'.S, :and it is very difficult to decide what 'motncnt.s' should be cansldercd tnmt iruporomt Tills is mostly due to tl1e fact t.hat the ro,.""e.ntieth Cet"ltt1ry is so close to our own day that the inJluence of certain Viotks is yet to be adequatdy comprehended, 'The Instruction Committee bas to makevc.ry dif6rult -at ti.me.s aln1os.t .atbitraty- decisions :.u to "-'hat should be tead from this. time period.!>!. Brann suggested dmt in o<dcr to cope with this pletho<a of lit=tttt<; the time krn'«n the senior essay vn:itingpeliod andSpting Break {Six s-etlli.ruti) could hlke the fi-Jttll of a "'tnini-preceptorial" Seniors \\'Ot1ld choose from a list limited to books of the t\'\re-ntieth century, or '"mode.rn;' period This list would contain topics from a variety of disciplines: a great nove!, suclus Jq-co's lTiysses; pbilosoplticll works by Heideggeror Husse1; a study of quantum theory; a st1.fvcy of modem poetry; By 'ivay of this range of ffiok~~ students wotlld have an opportunity to study something they m.ight: ha:ve an h1te:rest in ~spoc.iill.izi.ng in .after St. John's. On the other hand, this mini-prect:ptorial could also be U:5Cd :as a senior's last chance to exatninc 1n an 'tntenS<' :setting a topic: ht' o.r she is not planning to smdy at 1 the gmduate leveL 1\.f...;;. Bw•ds sugges.tion. also includes the ff'<}uitetl1t:'llt that t:1:tis .a~:"Pxoach to tbe twentieth c~ntw:y be communal. lt WO<Ud be ideal if cl1ero were some w:Jy of .it1c.re.asing the :111xmnt of intemctio.tl. between th.e v.11ious preceptorials., s.o that all the seniors b<tlt a general idea of twentieth century thought in sevcr.ll diffcr~nt disciplines. 1\1.s. Brands particular suggestion ..,...,H that each. pteceptori.a.l nominJ.te a :;tudent b) g1ve .a presentation or lecture. on thelr p.receptori.af:;:; v-.'Odc This proposal, of course,b.s its own prob!eln>. Other readings would have to be cut Pedups it would encouuge the notion of 'expertise' h1 one area too much. \"X·1tether or not it is. ever taken UJ:-"1, hct~;Veve.r, the. considerarion of this lnini-prcc("ptotlal suggestion raises tc-.al questions that pc.rtain t.a the life of St. Jolul's u;,day, Ies not just about how tl1e In$ttuct.ion Coo.1rni.ttee should or should not alteJ> the Ptf>gtllfn; it challenges every St. JohnS s:tu.dc:nt to think about how his or her individual cd.uc.ation contributes to t11elifeof theCoUege as .a whole. In what way is St.J:".th:a's acommuflityof le.arning, and hO\\' do I .active~' cc.nuribute to that c.om.nlUI1i.ty; both 1n and beyond tho. dassroom? How should l contriburc? Beyond the practice of co.m:mon eoutte:;s do I eveJ"1luve a.n obligation to the community ~lt .all? I.ncidenwlly, on.e way ttJ address these quest..ion.'> is to p.artic.ipate inS. C. I. functions\ We ""'" a lot coming up: the ,'\11-College &mirur this Hiday, Aprill4; the Srudent-'lbtor Picnic on Saturday, the 15th; the ongoing Plato in the ~·rtime sen:lhtars; the upcom..ing Tun Pornarole se.rninar on Liberal Education. Please ioin us.l Letters from Grandma by Tabi<ha Hall '09 My grandma has been sending me letters for a long time; vrh.cn I \\-"35 young~ tnost of thesc letters \l,"el't" birth.day cards \\l.ith money in t.lli::tn1 and things of that sort fur a wbik during early high schoo~ I never got anything but greeting ~ becatL'"if I lived ahcrut 20 minutes fron1my grandparents and saw them every \vcck. I'dore. recendy, though, rve li>-cd a lot .&rther away than that; right after high schoo~ I lived h1 EW<>pe fur a yca.r,.andsinccthcn f'vcmovod to different states.j and don't have a c..ar that y.'OUfd enable tnc to drive hotne... But G.r:llldt11!1 S letters have kept right on coming. I think it's mainly just d1c ~antaet that I like ;bout lettff-wri!U-.g; I meru~ frankly, my gr•ndma and l don't cxffiange amazlngwmda of "isdom, just our day-to-<lay goings ab0<1t,a tidbit of good news here and there. W'hich I guess i'i enough; but d'!Cre is SOlTiedlingmon: thatb.ppms when l v.rritc home. Writing a lcttc..r is quite a process Jt times.. I ac.tU.al.ly have to sit down with a pad of paper and a pe-n and summon up enough of the month~s evC"nts to put dov.n in narrative tO:rm, condensillg things considerabl~ of ocJU.r!it:1 and picking out only the events that 1lind truly note- '\li'Ort:hy. Sometimes I start to \vonder why I write what I do. I don't really think that my grm1dma cares so much wb.t I did last 'W'<okcnd, but she does cue for how I'm doing. And I gue<~ in .a sense, I dodt really c:are what happen.ed hs.t weekend dthcr~ it's about being .able to express what it is about .a place, a person, or an activity in ju...;;t .a few ietter-.li.ne.s th.Jt nukes me fOcus. in on wh.<lt is going on arotmd ruC', I :sc.c wl1<1t it is that I r-e.aU.y valut; what it .is that i.s. worthy to be \V"Iitten horne about \"\.'c fdl into a discussion regarding ccU phone< awhlle "1,'0 duting a break in my Lb clas$_: son:u.~one said tlut cell phones have c:n.1sed. a dcmhc in tblnking in (JUI society. fll not go into _t:h.at ·argumeru 1-:tere; you c.an do that fMl. yt)W' own time. But I'm 'WU11dering if tlle lack oflettcr-wriling and other writing b.s also caused a declhte of thinking. Here .at St Johds especially, I wonder; we talk and talk m1d ulk, and ofi£11timcs I dUnk tmybe no one really c:af('S about what they're talking about. If l take the time to sit dmvn .and write .about something, I re..illy o1.re about it; and if l care about it. Gmnd.tna hears. .about it. I don't keep :1 jt:""JUrnal anymore~ bnt that's what U51."-d to sec all of my pondc:rings.. l just V.Yotc a letter to my grandma, so it's the G.adf!/ .and iu :readership that gets. to lis.ten to m.e this waok. I was frustt.ttcd by the Gm(f!y last ""ek (I know, it WJS a busyv,;«<k and a hellish w<Oekend fot a lot of us, what \\·it.h papers to 'W--rite, etc.), and my frust.mtion started .t'Ir wandering why people dt~ or in the case of last V.'('.ck's issu('~ do llot ciKJOSf tO write things dO\Vll.. &.Y:netimes fm afraid to cxaminc:\vhat is going on v.1.th me and around tn<, and l know that if 1 start writing I'll be compelled to do so. So I've started thinking about my O\Vn writ- ing, and I've realized l'm pa.sionate about letterwriting and what .it mean.·•;. It means taking$ome time 0<\t of your day to sit clown and think over things that have been going on and to pick out those events whkh have been most 'neaningful to you, and things that you think v.lU have some sort of meaning for your fC'.ackt, I v.rould like tO see S()ffie ID\Jfe people\ writing here in the Godi!J'.l think lots of j1.:lU have tno.re to say than I do, and l ~m intcrt'sted in reading about v.1mt is important to you. l~.s fo.r me, rm going to go and start my next lc:tte-,r to G:tanchllit. .. ' .. ' ' . THE GADFLY 3 �Jen-Sais-Quoi: How to Be a Ro1nantic Poet by Jennif~r Wright •os Staff \V.dter Tile ot1H':t day, I was \valking to setnirt~ and found my•df behind a fellow we.tcing an enormous top hat. Hl:;; girlftie.nd W;!S wearing .a_ ball gm.vn, Nov.~, fur be it fron1 me to criticize any·onc fo.r dressing as though they're from a..tll)tb.er time period - o.t criticize hl.ts in genera_4 because I think iuts .are fantastic- but men in top hats do seem to be creatures .rather specific to St.. Jolm~s.. I live on I\1ain Street, an~ often, when glancing out my window at the ACME bru: and grill l'm struck by the abse:ace of patK.Hl$ in 1920$ style h.ats, On the St. John'!> campus, hO'I.\•ev~ fd be sw:ptiS:ied to _go through the v.ilok night \.vi!hout seeing at least one m.a:n in :l hat. W1hy should hats - and ot1~er Mch.aic garb - Bourish :.u: St. Joh.n:'s but not In the outside world? Normally, thi< i< the kind of thing I'd tulk ovet v,.<ith rny t()t)tnmate but as she was outqf tov:n tOr the wockcnd, the only other person in my a.p:a.tt1ne-nt wa$ my slaattere~ uoll-f.1ced spectnl boyfriend, Cato the Younger. Be was bmj' tlinging his wormy roga·dad body against my\v.:ill, and not e:xptessingemotlon. ''Hrru.,l;." I said, "'Cato, why do people .a.rottnd St. Jol:ul's wear top hats and othenmusually funny items?~' Cato :'>topped ffi.nging himsd£ ''Because they :11e immor:ll debauchees, who don't c.a.re about the &public;~ he replic~ uAJso} be:Lause they probably want to he .tOtn.J.ll.tic poets.:'' ''Gotxl po.Utt~·~ I rei--died. ''\'l;Ta.nt to s.nuggle, Cato?" Cato did not deign to rcpJy~ and only flung himself harder .against the wall. He's cme when he's feisty....A,s, .a :result, I sat dtJ'I.Vll. .and read through sotne biographies on the Romantics to help John.1Ues le.a.r.r.1 how to enm.l.ate them" rve 11.0\V cotnpiled .a lis.t S() tiut Y·C.!U too c.an bccotne a Romantic poet! 1. They don't have lrn.agin;:u:y .relatio:ns:hips witl1 historical ch;:u:acters. Eve.r. h'lstea~ they have real relationships. Lots of them. Take Byron, for instance, \vho is. cited .as h.avh1g ove.r 3.f.IO Venetian. nllstresses.. Be-:11 in nlind that thatjs in thcdtyof VroiCt" alone. His a<:ntal total 7 was probably in the '\X- Jlt Ch.amberlain range. Bear in mind too> that Byron had a mas.sive club foot and was prone to olxsity in his btet years. Imagine what you could d.o) (:,riven that tltere is a good chJlllce you do not have a clubfoot .a.nd a.rc. not ob~.sc-. If you Clil't have relationships., y·r.m1e not :llone, though. Ke:1ts couldn't - perh.aps be- 4 . THE GADFLY .. cause he w.as only 4 f19 inches talL You shou.ld be Rally dcprcsse.:l <100ttt this though. Keats was .apparentl~l able to ''channel hiS- rneltncholy into his \l.;'()tk," thqugll rve- se.:lt'ched in vain fo.r a poem entitled, "l :am a very short man. and this. is depres.:o..ing.·· Persotully; I think his meilllcholy h:ld tO J.o tnore with ltis. tubert.-rtlosis. than v.1th the t"ilct that he collidn't get a date. If you do tind a relationship at scJme poilu i.n. time though- .and by thiS- I me~ if you ru:e not :a loser, they. '""'JY John Ke3ts \\'"ilS a losc.t - remembet to dedicate your ?-J.etus to him or her.. _.'\. by him (u' her I mean " -.~' As in .nd <'<Ode to- .'l" or~'To -; .r..·h.,sic \X'hcn $1:;ft Voices Die_>t I suspect this is useful if you happen to have .a second relationship. 2, Judging from Keats and Byron~ thcywcxc kind of deformed. You should stop being so attractive, hot Johnny. 3. Now, you'.re going to h.avc to compensate fo.r not bei:ng :.lttr.active. You ie going to need lots of really go1,)d h.air. The one thin.g all the rom1ntics seemed to b.avc in common we.re the.ir gre.a.t Howi:ng locks, preferably taven .hued \Vear your shirt coll:.U opet reg.a.rdle:i;is of inclement wcathcr <:onditions - this \Vill botil eXp<"JS-e yl'm.r go.tgeous clavicle, and help you catch colda.nd become ver}; ve.ry sick (see point 6.) 4. They're teally depressed .about thei.r current state. By the age of sixteen, Shelly w.as siOc;"ping \·vith a gun under his pillo"'~ 1~1n not sure how this is more et1-ect.i.ve tilill1 :having a gun in, s..ay, a desk dr,awer,. but .it seems. to india.tc r.hat lK' wasn't a bundle of sunshine. He. also wrote a fe\V poems abouumm. v.ilose eyeballs. have been eaten.. ~y're pretty disgusting. Shelly was kind of a fre<~k. lind when wri ring Qtilde Harold Byron writes t.h.at he was ~'1.\al.f n1.ad ...between metaphysics~ n.1ount.lir1S~ lakes, love in.extingulslublc and thoughts of my mvn. delinquencies." Tiut's approximately the tight fwne of rnind. Suicide should also be furemost in ymtt min~ .as it was v.ith Byron who stat<"d~ "! should have tnmy a gwd day blown my br.air:1s out, but for the .rect::tlle<..i.ion that it would have giv~n ple.asttre to my lnothcr in bvl' 'fking sad doesn't me.an you cm't be v.<itty. S. Dude, they were so frigging was.ted. Everybody knows that Coleridge took opium, especi~1:lly ·when \Vtiting pieces like ''Kub6. Kahn." However, not everyone knmvs that - in addition to making him fa.nusi:ze about s~.atdypbtsu.re domes- itg~we hil.n rr.occtl.I'ring nightn.ures of grade scl:K.Io:)L I fs. for reasm1s.like that that it n.'li&•i:'lt be best to stick to alcolK")I - like Byron, viho drank darct from the skull of a tnediev.al monk. 6. TI'tf:y die in su.it:ably operntk w.a:y:;_ \\;7e. •hould all have d1c good lortune to go like Roroantic poets.. Keats. - who died first, .at 26 - wasted. .a:\Vay frt:un tuberrulqs~ \Vhlch left him enough titnc to compo·sc his own epitaph,. a. collection of poems. en tl1e subje~ and ttavel to Italy. Shelly drowned hims.clf in the Gulf of Spczia. And Byron died fighting t;x Gr-eek liberty aftet being exiled &om his homeland. lmd - though I know he i•n't typically categorized as a major Ro!nancic -1 think its \\1Qfth pointing out: that Tilom.as Lwe Pe.acrd died in his libr-J.ty after llis house caught 011 fire, clutching hi• beloved boob and shouting ''By the inlfno.ttal G.Jds., I v,.ill not n1over~ To my mhld, thaes .always bee:n. a bit of what theRotnantics were about. 7. Tiley didn't st.art the fire. Except that, in the cas.e of the Romantics., they .actually dld. One of my all time favorite stories about Romantic poeB pertains to the dea.thof Ke.ats. Apparently, he'd asked fnr a Viking burW. So his friends carrie<! his body onro a kach and built .a pyre while .redthig odes .about him. It was. all very tnoving, until t})e fire: brigade shov;ed up. Apparcndy, people who lived on the beach complah1-ed about dead bodies being set on fire. Tile matter ended in a br_a~ which the fire brigade won. Ths isn"t really surprising when you cons.ide.r poi.nt 2. I think Keats \VOuld have really, .reilly approved~ though. \V:J:ite I'm afraid I must lea\"C oft' my list_, given that C.ato the Youngex, bruised and battered now, has reconsidered my offer to snuggle. However - while 1 applaud your dct<nnination to become a J:Ot.n.antic poet, I do think ifs. imp-rJ>rtant to remember never, ever to model yourself off Words>wurth (as you '!l not~, !left him out of my little bullet poinB). \\lhy? He lived with his. sister,. we.rlt b.ald - \Vhich is. ttn.fi-Jttw:ute~ but not in a w•y d1at approaches the physical defects of his comrade~ .a.:nd vihich nJJJ.de rule 3 .impossible to live up to - foun:d religiOI"l;. ru:od stm:te.:l writing things in praise of capiul punishment. He also b.rok:e .rule 6, by dyh~ at 80 of a common cold. Oh, so.r:ry fate! �Ayn Rand \'C!Tas Ugly and Could Not Write Her Way to the Bottom of a Moleskine Page by Greg Schroeder '06 :M.L Varner's article in the last Ga.-lj?yr-clic:s t;zdnsivdy on the "comrnon sense~· J10tions th.at out institution tries to ovettutn. I'll begill where Aolr. Varner starts presenting a number of sickly daitus and stops insulting I\lr. Rera. The d>'ims arc colnmon eno-ugh to merit a thorough £esponse. A corolnom:vcalth doc,s not seck equality, f..'lan sacrifices natural rights for good things afforded by submission to government. "Nothing is nwte certain thilll the indi~pensable nece s.s.i ty of gt)Ve.mment... the people c<:de to it some of their natur·al rights~ in order to vest it \vith requisite: :powe.rsH {R&m!ist 2). \~.'hen contr.adicting rnainstreaJ.n opinion, cotutesy dictates expL.mcion. M.r. Varner gives us either groundbr.eaking political thought or gibberish, l cadt tell without elaboratoin. Government op1-xJses hwl"l:m equality. Legislatures creating laws to bind men "dth<"r tacitly or e:xplldtly.'~ destroy equality. "TadtH agreement het\vcen men \Vithin Hobbesian govc.rrunent is fa.rcial. l.Jnles.s men are perfect equals., tadt support Cilllll.CJt exis.L If people arc legitimately equa~ then govexnment is tlflnece.ssary, or at most a lTICiiDS to mediate drtil disputes. Establishing government \\~th <1notbcr end, presupposing e-quality. is tyr.a.nnic...·d. \Vithout cqualit); tadt support tncans dcfc.rring to a greater powcis de-risions. If men arc <"qu.als; then the governed arc owed at least the chance to delibemte on f't'fl)-' decisio11 ,made for thenl. \X.'hy not remove the fonualitic:s and allow d1esc «equill" men a direct role in poticirs? I anxiously await a response from my congressman without a .rubber~s.tarnp sign3twe-. A cotnmonwealth docs nothing but encroach upon natural rights for some other assumed good. Onlcss ]\'lr. Varner {'illl elaborate on the necessity for a re-pre:o;ema.tive body. besides size of land govetned, \Vhich 1n.1kes dirc{'t democratic prindplcs inc.onvc:nient in this nation, representative govcrruncnt is just one of many possible choices. lf equality iS- our goal, dividing the population is fooli:o;h. Establishing alcgislanuc ends hmnan equality. One either needs to justify a gigantic state on bask g.rounds, or rli$-nllss. '"pure democr.acy.,..~ genef'.illy. I wuuld expect a fondness for the more direct accountability of direct governing tkom a Libt-rtarian. I don't know why 1\·h. Varner brings up law~ and there is no n-eed to addres.s unequal. legal .repres.ent:at:lon. If financial b-ackground is a factor in re{'eivlng a fair trial the US judi-cial system (do five minutes of researCh online) 1 An1c.ricans arc unequaL P.roperty .requites more- delica-cy. Lefs st..att vlith the ''n.1oh of poo.t and disaffected nc;cr-do-wells who scll their votes to kgisbtors in ~:xchangc for the lc-.gislatois agreement to plunder from their upright neighbors .and tutn the bo-oty Ollet tO thetn. ·~ TI~ete JnUs.t be a S.QlU<:e for this !nob of vote-scllcis, n1osc most in need of tnoncy {or the food cxdusivdy available by means of monC}·) Vilstlyoutnumbc.r the. the<--,retical targets. of collectlvizatio.n. If we believe represent.ltlve government presents majority views, .- dc:sJrc for wc.Jlth redistribution ought to cnd up in the oJu.rt system through popular legislation) \Vhere judges. can evalua.telt based on the Constitution. A quick glance M fCdcral Judgt" incomes will show you the result, even assmning the United States. gove.r.nment work$- the \Vay posiled so far_ Present a.n instance of "ne'er do \vdh'~ making things even aesthetically awkv.•ilrd t~)ryour ~'upright cit±t:.cns,.'j Labor organizing to reduce profit margins does not oppreS-S-ion make. Disrussing inherltanre -as an unde:niabl<' right, I rdy on the authorIty of Thomas Paine, and dare. il11}'t:ine to challenge .him, Not because I am a rhewricial~ but to wat-ch someo1H~ eng~1.ge hirn. Do people not read this anytnorc? lf IYlr, Varne-r has, Ignoring him is dishonc:st: "To th<' evil of monilrchy we h;.1ve added that of hcrcditalJ succes.s.ion; _.. tlle second, dairned as a tnatter of right, i:;; an insult and an imposition on posterity. for aU men lx-ing originally eqtlah) no &Iff. by lirth could have a right to set up in pcrp<"tual prefercnc;{" to all othe.rs fi.1r ever, .and thollf_<ht hirnself nlight deserve iO!Itt' de-cent de-gree. of honors of his contemporaries) yet his descendants tn1ght be far too un\vo:rthy to inl1erit the in~' (Cfln!fncm Smse). Heredit:lf}' S.tlccession Is. an evil ccunp.uable to nlorl.'llchy. It gives someone: v.ocalth he did not rm7t.. lnl1eritance is a cu5tom adding aristocratic flavor to the appearance of a utneritocracy." Do all wealthy people deserve wealth? Examples of unpopular, e:ls.ily-dedMed-w1worthy heiresses living on the interest of their fathc.rs' invcsttncnts ab-ound. The reader can choose 'W1lich he hates and justify my views on the excesses of her re~1lity television show. lt is not the waste of fiat currency {"'tnoncy") dut angers me_ lt is the waste of mpil<~/, which ha' a finite limit (cf Marx, Gpitat; VoL l1l - tl1is. discussion is avai~ble in our book~aore as .a photocopy) 1 wasted and concentrated. TI1e majorlty pro-grcssivcly cannot obtain sustenann;, _M.ux:ists claim that this, unchecked, leads to class conflict, I .a:m not 1\-L.rxist, or even :a socialis-t~ if self-identification matten. I do not want "1destruct.ivc class warfare.'' or ''constructive dass v,·arfare:~ Ever, \VSut:uc does not create sJgnifiemt change. It shuffles tyr.a.nts.. A ~destructive clas.s conflict" would certJ.inly be a guerrilla W;U. The standard .._'\lnerlcan text on guerrilla w<ttfurc (Taber's lF/u of tk· F/;,i) declru:es that guerrilla warfare «ddivec[s] [the masse' of the poor] to .anodte.r sort of tyranny, that of the authoritarian socialist state-:." Joining a lJS political party is a bad idea. There is nothing tenorthodox about e.ithe.r US politkal party, by design. Politic_al p.arties regtllate lnflucJtCc on politics, Fo.r exatnpk~ Roman C-atholics cannot vote for a major A.tncrican party outside heresy. Church doctrine relies on dassical understandings of the value of human life. Those questioning the. divide bc:tv.oeen policy on capital punislunent and abortion,. as a Cadmlic ought~ .arc 1nar_ginalized. Reflection shows the division beru,.·een the two is.s.ueS- is conttfved. Potitkal parties are as significant as baseball division rivalrlc..s. There arc endless cx.a1nples of coontcrintuiti\re connection5 in talking point&, I don't have ro·otn for thorough listing. I don't hate the wealthy. If I hated for th< wealthy l vtould not attend dlls school. TI1erc :a:rc s~fcr pbces for pcopk like that than a forty-grand-a-yea.r coll.ege. If this. makes me ins..ane~ okJy. Ple.as.e prrsent a o::~gcnt argument; cnrour<lging rctlcccion, when you tell me "not-insane~' things. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �"Swear Words and Naked Chicks Will Get You Sent Straight to Hell" by Ian Michaels '09 I pretended to fall asleep at the wheel I thought it might he a funny practical joke To play on my passenger Then I fell asleep at the wheel And killed us both in a pile-on car crash I went to Heaven luckily, But my passenger- he went to Hell. He sent me a telegram from down 1mder. It said "go to hell." I ·wrote back "It's not my fault You swore so much when you were alive.'' I've made it my motto never to use cuss words. They are vulgar and disgusting They can get you sent straight to Hell Because if God hears you dropping the f-bomb Or sees you searching the internet for "nude celebrities," He's bound to rub his chin and say "I'm not sure about this one." Right now I'm drinking tea, On a cloud, and I'm thinking Luckily I didn't do anything wrong In my time on Earth. But what ifl hadn't Fallen asleep at the wheel And gotten myself into that pile-on car crash? Is it possible I would have done something crazy Like sworn, or looked up "Sandra Bullock in a bikini" on Google, And subsequently have been forced to spend the rest of eternity In a fiery pit of demons and goblins? That would totally stink. Thank God I fell asleep at the wheel And killed myself and my passenger. That little accident got me roomed up here In Heaven. If only everyone else could be so fortunate. 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �l\ H.esponse to I<yle Varner I Hke. .i;teaHng. I be-Heve that the greatest: )oy in life is. depriving OrN ltNn'd uu tl)b arguNl'l'ttt tojusllf)' aH t'qtra!t(;' t{ ((Jttdllit.m. that l.J., peopk of thdr p.ropaty. ~ilscry and poverty fofln a sort of quilt tbat all pe(Jple mtghl If< h.at•r l;i".resr ro all nmft"n~·;l gains N]Ntfl~'y. Thi.r is which I comfortably -slee.p under at night. Ail these d1ings Jnust dtm'(Y o"bJ'Hrd, T rJn{>• tm:an to <WO.k_t tbis tJrgutm.·h'i to p7'l'}OJ-t' alt tq_Hali(J• be true. W'hy else would 1 support equality? ~f t~&port!ltJi(y. Es~·b ittdis•J~luai ott;g!Jt /(J f!ttOJJfller 110 num' !'e-.tiC>'Iatla tb.a11 ~·ir. '\larnc.es response to my artidc \V-as not as much of a at[)' t4hrr M'hm pumfing tbdr i,;dit•idtt~d goals. r<'sponsc as it was a parade of genetic~ tired~ unsubstantiated, And secondly~ fm pritty .sute fabulous accutnul.atlons of \vealth cOlHervative rhetoric-. The ch.~.uest indication of this. filet is that are symptomatic of an unbalanced .and e.ncumbe.red economic very little of wh~t he argued actually addresses any of my points. system. In fact~ what should we find ln extr{"mdy opulent nations? Instead of confronting wh,n I wrote, he b-uilds a silnple·. straw Usually we s.ee a large middle das.s, democu.tic government, .a man and proceeds. to tear it limb from limb. Therefore .r.ather than going through the whole argument falsehood by fahchood, a Response .Cfmlimted fJII et;:>.-1 page sC"-~-mingly c-.ndless task, I will point out the major er.ron and tn.isdu.r.acterh::at.ions. Before l continue~ I must point out that fvlt. Varner's ad hominem atta~k on the mental st.ate of those \\<'ilo ag:re-e with my argument is chiJdis.h and unneces~.a.ry, Statc-.mcnts of this so.rt sully the tone of discourse gene-tally and serve no purpose othc-.r than pure propagilllda. \x;'hile this fatuous form of :Lrgumentation passes tnustu on conserv.ativc talk radio, there is no place for it here. The fir«, and perlup< !arge<t, problem with Jv!r. Varner's response to my artidc- is the problem of implementation. l ncvct laid out a plan fo:r providing equal opportliflitles fo.r aU, yet ~1t-. V.a.rner falsely insinuated that 1 had. He. '\Vas quick to observe that It would be wrong for govc:rntnent to .steal hard-earned money from induS-trious citizens.. I never said .anything about govc.rnment intervention. To clarify, let us bulld .a hypothetical .situation. Suppose that after my .article was published in Ttit Gadj!J·~ most tn:ajo.r tn-t'dia outlc-ts pkked it up and distributed it all across the country. Everyone. fell in love with it, .and they were hl5tantly C'(mvinced by the .a:rgument. Through a strong sense of justkc and love for thdr neighbor~ citizens decided to work independently for the .sake of equal opportunity fo.r :all. Let's say they voluntarily give up the p.racticc of inheritance. \\That thcnf:• \Xfhile this case is extremely farfctdtc.d) my argum-ent would still s.und strong under this hypothetical circumst~nce. lVIt. Varnees \\rould not. He take.s it as given that people would never consent to the notion of equality of opportunity, a.n:d therefore government coercion would be absolutely necessary. !vir. Varner docs not subsmntiatc this claim, Another problem with i\f.r. Varaex's. argument is. that he loves capitalism yet has no idea how it works. He claims: What 1\:fr. Re:t:a Jails tu HNttiion h thiit, ll'htn lht' pie- iJ Wbera: 2611 Hous:le)' Rd Annapolis, MD 21401 ritnp!J distribu.trd 'fven!J, far if.s.f pif Jfl.f .ffM'Jt. Be.r4tlif (If oRr When: Mo11-Fri !lam-5pm, Sat 1Oam-2pm qstan t?f' fapitalirm (mhich tbrh'ff (m tnm be..<:omingjJb#/01u{J ll·'taltlfJ)~ tl.tt pit< gro11# wry fttr_g~·Woo: St~ll!Qarrt Fint CIB~ Gary Epps (4111) 573-!11161! Fitst of all, this ugutnc-nt completely ignores my original dailn~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �Pity and Rousseau ~r Tbree S alJages: Plenty to Savor by Emily M"wbJnn<y, Gl '07 Staff Writer It is 1kot an easy task to review a lecture. One ca.-rmc)t faU back on the evcr-tc.liablc 'search and destroy' technique of idcntif}i.ng and rebutting eve.ry questio.nable c:omtnent made, because this .isn~t 'Cros~firc,' nor is it a battlcfid~ ;md the t.rcnchc.s of Rousseau's logic can 'be. more of .a qu.agnllre tilan either. Futt:hernwre. there is the problem of prono,m<ing final judgtncnt. :O.O.Cs one offc.r two d1tJJnb.s up~o.rthc unimagiJJa.ble, thwnbs do-\\~tl? Five whisks? .3- strus? It seems contrary to the nature of St. JohnS to make such ca tcgo.rical judgments, especially since, at the risk of sow1dlng like an overly ce.nsw-00 automaton from 1984, only praise- is due the brave soul who ddves into the ootnplex topic of the lecture a.nd submits to the subsequent scrutiny of question period. Perh.:'lps it 1s sufficient to mull ovc.r co1nmcnts mack by the tutor~ .and contemplate questions his comn.lelll~ raise. This is what 'l intend to do. In his lecture llhy 31, Pity and Rousseau'• Thtee S:lVJlt,~s. tuto.r Jeffrey Smith spoke on the topic. of pity and Rous.s-eau% three conceptions of natural man in order to explore the mor.al sign.i.fica.nce of sentiment. Through a discussion of the three. savages according to Rousseau- the solita.ry1 tribaL and civilize-d savages- it is evide11t that .a smdy of natutal ru:.ill may rcveal the fundamental i.tnpulses driving man's behavior. Pr'lr. Stnith aarn.ines se.if--love "nd pity <pecilically, as potentiaUy motivating principle;;. Rousseau~ .according to .Mr. Smi~ sugge-sts that the solitary S<lvagc is governed Response to-ntinucdfrom page 7 well-educated majority, and oti)et fortD.S of equality of opportunity. A1oreovcr, no job should disproportion.ate!y re\vard its laborers so long .as people :.Ue freely able to move from one em.ployme.nt to anod1e.t. Once one job pays more for the lalxn required to work it than another~ so many people would -enter that profession? that its partkularcconomk ady-antagc would be neu t:t.J.lized. This is only true, however,. if you agree with that ~ocialis4 1lut--cas.e Adam Smith. According to lx-.)thAdam Smith and Alexis. de Tocqueville, commercial greab1ess f(,Uows fro1n socie-ties whe.re citizens ar-c- .able, \vithout external hindrances., to pursue my employment they desir-e. It seems that equality of 8 largely by sdf-lo\'C~ manifest in the nece.ssclry principle of s.elf-pteservation. It seen.1s unlikely that the solitary savage wm.Ud have the capacity t~:Jf pity as he has yet to devdop a complex noLion of the 'other,' Hmveve.r the S-<"Jlit.ary savage is an animal like any other~ -and Cli'CJI tbc most primitive animals may ted pity. The tribal savage i..;; better :1ble to bahn:ce) if you \Y"ill, both sdf-loveneccssltatcd by sdf-prc.3crv-ati.on~ <md pity. 11.1c motivating principle of pity becomes mote r-elevant when .natur.al man moves h11:t) primitive socic-tic-.s because he is nov{ .in re-gular contact with 'othcts', sP<'dficaUy his family. Therefore, b·oth self-love, extended to include d1e immediate familial or tribal unit~ and the limited capacity for pity mocivate the ttibal savage. Finally~ the civilized savage, nu.nifest in Roussca1.ls Emile., represents th(" culmination of the development of ooth sdflove and pit)' Rousseau's civilized S-J.Vagt; acet.J-rding to M:t. Smith, seems to progress d=ugh the du:ee stages of nanu:-al man as ht', dcvdops fro1n infancy to adu.hhood. The civilked sa\-,.agt' is thus most capable of pity~ as he posses bod1 knov.·l<dg< of himself and odms, altho<1gh even his capacity for pity is limited. Nevertheless, the dvilizcd savage can identify sameness bct\\rc~.n h.itn':!e.l£ :and 'others', thus facilitating pity, and !:h-e.:teft-,re appear-S- to i.:ndeed be a sentimental being~ motivoncd by moral sentiment. Seve..ral questions cotne to tnind that a.rc worth e..'<p!ori:ng. How is pity tied to m.or.:ility? How arc they distinct? HO"W" docs nattu:al man make the leap from simply pitying anothc.r to feeling m.ou.! s.e.ntim.ent? Htl\V is this motal sentiment, or m_(ll':ility manifest? 1tis clear fron1 the lecture that mo.ralit.y Js grounde-d in scntirne:nt, and th.at civilized tn:ln has the greatest sentim.ental C;lp.acity. But dt-l.fS clvilized man th.c..rcfcm:· also have :a greater cap .. dty for justice? Is .a:n awate11ess of Justice als.<".t grounded i..n sentituent? Is justice necess.a.rlly rclatecl to moral sentiment, or distinct? Justice scc:tus to differ from .tno.r-J.Iity in. its apparent need for: societal i:n&,lstrucmre h1 otder to be <:..atried out, Is moral sentiment the-n the foundation for the more c:omple.'i p.ainciple of iu.stice- th.at will likely develop a:s n:nural n1:lt'l becotnes in.cxcasingly civilized? W'hat docs it aU mean for R.ousseaU1S- concep-tion qf natutal rn;ln's ideal position, for tlle ide,al state? I 'W-ill not anempt to answer th<; S-C question~ as. I am sure I could not begin to addtess the .answer:s with the s:llne clarity and insight offered by l\:l.t. Smith, Rather, l will ponder th.e:m as I re-visit Rous.s.-eau·'s mvn tv:riting at1d think about the substance of ilie lecture. Th.e filet dut these questions have arisen should be uken as .a s.lgt1 of the me.rit of J\.i.r. Smith's ar_&<tJ.ments.,. for it is the m.ark of an inuigulng lecture dut hls comments have given ris-r to funherquestioni.n.g Indeed, J\.ir. Smith'slectwe on Pity _and Rousseau). Tiuee Savages. was. a fivc-v.nis.k v.'Onder !hat produced plenty of ideas to s.avru:. opportunity would not have the damning ct' fects. that Th-1r. Va.mer predicts, and, in &ct, it might make our sodc:ty richer gc.ne.rally. The best p~rt of all this is that Smith and de Toeque-ville botl) see the m.arch of egalitarianior;.m coming~ not by the force.fl:d acts of gm·crnment intctYention, but through the organic development of human history. So whc~e does this kavc us? Well, Mr. Varner never addre-ssed tny point on an ideo- logical level. Furthe.r, my recommendations ate-- feasible, b-eneficial! -and available without government intervention. l hope this da.rific.at.ion will help Mr. Varner reconsider his position on this whole matt-er. 1t would. be the first step to achlcv.ing our goals \vithout tel ying on the goverrunent and m.aking my hypothetical situation a reality. ' THE GADFLY ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' �A Critique of Pure ()pinion by DL FetreU '(J7 Staff \ll~iter As I began v;rhing cditDrL1ls for T:llf Gadj_i)<, ignoring it The. beatings Quixote e:Kp<:Jicno;;s it txcuued t:o roe to ;ts.k, \"lo people really care .a.re de:11 cor1SeqUt:11ce,o;., and though he t:ruttlages to O\'Cl"CDmC these, there. are 1nuch -v.'Orse \Vhat .is wrin~n here?' In tenus of influe-nce; the answer v.utlid .secJ.n to be 'probably not. 1 I begilll h) \l,o'\Jtlde.r then why <)phUon~ such :as those presm_tedin these artidC5~ \Vortld k v.urth c.o:nsklcradon at ;1ll, No\\>; it seen.1s. t:o me the s.une ques.tion.mlght be applied to belief; as my opinions (I hope) genc.mlly reflect 'WTiat I beficve to be true, That sal~ I will posit ru1otlter similar question: why should l carr for lite opinions and belid5 of others? Thn Qaiwtf mlsc.s nutuc:rous questions regardingperceptionandobjective reality, v,illch scctncd:tdcvamas I thought-aboutthc ·value of opinions, Cervantes' storiC"~bov;C\>-c.t} also present \\-'hat I believe is more fundamental question than that of the value of opinion. Rad1er >han steadfu•tly trusting my perception~ why should I c-.u:e whether there is. some qbjective reality external to vihat I believe? i1.B Johnnies, this c.onsidexation is nothing new to us. It mlght seem that C..e:rvantes gives a oompclllng atgu~nent that fue possible existence of -an objective reality doesn't actttally matter~ at least from a practical •"""4-">0int Quixote, whom the nanator and most of the- odler characters in the novd think to be uttedy mad, lives .in :a V.'"Orld v,.here his perceptions are not in line with those of his cotnpanions. \\;beE tl1ey src v.1ndtnills~ he. sees giants, and when the giants mm into windmills, he Jus a perfectiy 're-asonable' explanation (unsccn c;il cnd1ant=). Atgumcnts c-annot corninc>e hlm that his tnind lh15 misle"'<i him, and the ze.U ""lh which he holds thcoe beticfs is sttong cnoogb 1D even sway lite beliefs of oil:tcrs. What sif,'l1ificance then objective Ie".llity hold for Don Quixo110? It scctns that even ac.e. something as substantial as a sound heating cannot a-ub Quixote-'s i.rnaginatlol\ and i11 fJ.ct, rl1ough he might find himself mocKed,, robbed, and nearly c~pled from his cnOOillltcr:s, he is able to convince hitn$clf that he was victorious in his rockavo.ts, 1hat }x_ in fact was the one who dispcmed the boating. Objective reality has no bearing on Ills !lctions. Thus, if he can oo:nvince hilrudf of such things, why shotdd be care about anything bej'011d his own perceptions? The logk.U illlS\Ve< would !<eem to be, 'well, he .shouldn;t: HO\Vcvc-.r} there is one thought r<garding objective reality dut doc,s 'W"ftttant consideration., .u1d that is the consequence of dlings d1at eouJd happen to a man than getting be-.1ten - like dyil'll~ i\lost people would ;gree that Sbl}ing alive is a significant moti,~ational factor fut doing or believing something, and those- who don't care about being alive probably aren't reading dlls. for the rest of u~ ignoring the cxist=cx: of objective reality, •nd consequently what might lx true beyond .imrn('diatc pc.R:'cption is a good way to get kilkd. Dealh, whenever and h<:m"<VIT it may o..1me iJ an objective re-ality; .and being de-ad is not an «l'Y thing to ignore or change. The- fact is~lf you tty to contend v.ith 5-0incthing more obja""'tive and re-al than you :l.t1d your ov;n_ belicfu and perceptions, sotncthingon wbicl:! the reality of those beliefs and perrcptlons depend, you're gpffig to lose. Tile res.u!ts oould very wdl be unpleasant. Ultimalcly, as I conv<j' lny opinions, whcd1cr I arn right ot wrong has no bellfing on what is true. 'W'hether one bdieves an absolute- objectn·e truth exists or not; OfK' had 1-x-tte.r be very Sllfc .about it A.:ndif .an uhsolute objective truth does exist~ one \\-uuld do "'--ell to rlgwe. out exactly what it is and what the: proper response to it should be" Even if Quixote had realized that he was in fact imagining things, it wotdd ruve done him no good if he continued acting as if his J:.'let'Ceptions were occurate. He \VOU.ld still fJ.cedle coruequenccs. The que-stion of the existence of God is prob-ably the rnost obvious case. whe.t-e these considerations \V"'tlld be applicable lfs a very slmi.Lar consideration to the one prese-nted in Pasc---Jl~s w-.tget. It seems. easy to misintetpret thi.;; argument as a proof porl1aps fur the cxlst~:nec.of God or .as an atgUlllCfit that \\ouuld compel one to believe. It seems to me, ho\lJ-e.ve.r, that P~s.cal is rncrdy trying 1D exhort his ro~ders to acrually take tt1c question sorioosl)·md e<>nsidet it oproly. 'The stakes are high; if you refuse to believe and in lhc end find yourself 1D be wrong, lite corucquenccs w1ll be grave and urnvoidablc. Forthi.s!eilso.tl~ the seardl futtm~ the quest to discern the: existence of an objr-ctive rc-alit~ docs in fact scan i.tnportant Perhaps that is v.-ily we are here, hea!us.e '"'realize that oor individual perceptions arc insuffidrnt to discm~cr it we need dialogu" Butis tt>at sufficient? Bard lD say, but 1 suppose it's wlut we have frn nov,.: EUCLIDEAN PROOF Given the ingredients: 3/4 c. sugar 2 beaten eggs 3 tbsp. cornstarch 1 tbsp. butter 3 c. milk 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla To construct a pudding which is greater than its parts. Let A be a heavy saucepan. On A at point C, let there be combined sugar and cornstarch. Let milk be poured into pan at right angles to the surface. Cook and stir constantly In circles over medium heat until It be thickened and bubbly; cook 2 minutes more. Let the pan be removed from the heat. Slowly stir 1 <:up of hot mixture into beaten eggs return the-milk mixture to rest of milk In saucepan. Let It be heated again until nearly bubbly, reduce heat, cook and stir 2 more minutes. Re- move from heat, stir in butter and vanilla, pour into bowl B. cover surface with plastic wrap; chill. I say that since the saucepan A Is empty, and the bowl B Is full of pudding, It is manifest that the whole, namely the pudding, IS greater than its parts, namely the Ingredients. Q.E.F. (from St. John's College Staff Social Committee recipe book, 1996, p. 68) ' . ' ' ' ' .. ' . . . . . ' . ' ' ' ' THE GADFLY ' 9 �10 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 11 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Johnnie Quotes of the Week Athletes of the Week: Ms W [referring to Arist.ophancs• .Bird&]; rt•s l1ke Dr. Seuss fur Gtc.-ek ninjas. Mr. S: \\'bich looks less like a l.Ltlioom- a couch or Mr. C'l Mr. M: So according to Lucretius, is the: whole more than the: rum. of its particles? :Mr. 1: IfI ever oome back u, lecture at St. John~~ r•n be disappointed if there isn't a prank. Mr. l.1~ I think your coming back to Jcctme would probably qualify &OJ a prank a.Jl by rtscl£ Mr. R; [Mr. OJ~ aroyou asking why necessity is necessary? :Mr. W: I 1hink we're getting Jost in Analogyland here. DATE DUE .I I Ms.. Tomlc 12 THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . .. . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource McClay, Mark F. (Editor in Chief) Roberts, Aaron B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 21 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2006-04-13 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 21 of The Gadfly. Published April 13, 2006. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.21 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/5b655d155a24eca394df46d6f84c50a8.pdf 36697103dd48f3934fdf68c0769fffe9 PDF Text Text �THE ...-GADFLY Editors-in-Chief Mark F. McClay Aaron B. Roberts Associate Editors Shoshana Goldstein Christopher B. Utter Layout/Design Gabrielle Aines Anna Harvey Photographers Clarke Saylor Alex Lorman Distribution Manager John Schuler Letters & Announcements THE GADFLY ~CEvenina .. .Is in need of additional staff to !help with: witft tfte Editing Copy-Editing Writing Layout/ Graphics Business/Management ~nner Corps Saturday, April 22 Great Hall 8:00 PM Contributing to this Issue Elizabeth Burlington D.L. Ferrell Daniel Schwartz Seth Tipps Jennifer Wright NicZakheim Founded in 1980, the Ga4ffy is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within arc the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not nccessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadf!y staff. The Ga4ffy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gar!ffy is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to gadfly@sjca.edu. Cover Photo: !\{embers o/ the St. John's croqmt teatn ho11i11g their skills prior to Stmd~'s match. 2 If you are interested in volunteering, have questions, or if you have ideas for the Gadfly, please contact Mark McClay or Aaron B. Roberts, or come to our meetings: Tuesdays at 5:30 PM BBC109 Men} voice ensemble (including seniors ArthurAllen, Alex Claxton, Jonathan Coppadge, Erikk Geannikis, & Luke Jqyapalan) presents an exciting evening rf wide-ranging music. The King William Players Present As You Like It A Comedy by William Shakespeare Directed by Erikk Geannikis '06 Fridqy) April 28 FSKAuditorium 8:15PM . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �A Critique of Self-Expression by D.L. Ferrell '07 Staff Writer As you look at Rembrandt's 1659 SelfPo!' trait, take a moment to consider this question: how might we present ourselves to the world? Expressing one's self or one's identity in order that one might be known is attempted in many ways. Some express themselves through words, either written or spoken, while others define themselves by the deeds they do. Rembrandt approaches the task from an artist's perspective. As a portrait, Rembrandt's art presents us with a visual depiction of Rembrandt's physical appearance. We can observe his characteristics: we see a wrinkled face, gray hair, and a wispy beard. He wears a beret and a dark brown smock. These features, however, do not give us the complete picture. One might question whether the colors in the painting truly match those of their objects, or whether the proportions are accurate. Moreover, Rembrandt must have been aware as he painted it that he was trying to depict a three dimensional object in two dimensions. Thus he must have known he could not give a true representation of his own appearance. The artist, however, hopes to communicate something more than appearance. The focus of the portrait is clearly on the face; the rest of Rembrandt's body is dark and unclear in comparison. Moreover, the head rests about 2/3 of the way up the painting where the observer's eye will naturally look. Certain features in the face, framed in shadow, stand out. His eyes are positioned prominently beneath heavy brows, his mouth pinched tightly at the corners. The brushstrokes, particularly in the face, are thick; the colors don't blend smoothly, giving him a rough, weathered aspect. \Vhat do we see in Rembrandt's face? The color of the painting is dark, and his face and eyes are framed in shadows which, combined with his features, might produce a somber mood. His eyes and mouth might convey sad- ness. Through his portrait Rembrandt tries to communicate a mood or feeling to the observer, but we observe even these emotions indirectly, through an imperfect medium. The problem of images hinders communication. As we attempt to convey ideas, we are continually reduced to using symbols to articulate them. What if we could find an image that was true, that reflected its object as it was? Two thousand years ago, Jesus Christ made that claim about Himself: "He who has seen Me has seen the Father''. He claimed He was the true image of the Creator, that He was God in the form of a man. Now at this point, some might question whether this Jesus actually existed. Granted, none of us have seen Him in the flesh; all we have are indirect accounts of who He was and what He said. However, we do have those accounts, just as we have the portrait of Rembrandt, and I think most of us would agree that this portrait, this symbol, had a real object. Likewise, the gospel accounts of Christ indirectly present us with a real object. If we question the reality of their object, we must question the reality of Rembrandt. Ultimately we will be led to question the reality of anything we have not experienced directly. If we claim to do so, however, can we live as if that claim were true? Most would agree that we have to assume the reality of our own past, as we remember it. If we deny all but the present, it would be impossible to function; yet we are able and we do. Likewise we generally accept the testimonies of those we encounter who claim experiences prior to ours. They in turn accept the testimonies of those who came before them, men who in our experience are not alive. We might indeed say we still doubt, but our actions indicate otherwise. But even if Christ was real, we are still only left with the gospel accounts through which we might see Him. We are left in the same position as with Rembrandt's portrait. If we look at Christ's claims, however, we find a possible solution. Not only does He say that when one has seen Him, one has seen God; but also that when one has seen one who believes in Him, one has seen Him. The capacity to bear the true image of God is extended to man. Thus we can see God direcdy. These claims cannot be ignored; you must decide for yourself, however, whether these claims are true. The presence of God becomes something we can and do experience everyday. Some would agree with this statement; some would not. But just because you do not see a thing does not mean that it is not there. The fact that blind men do not see things is not because the things are not there to be seen. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Jen-Sais-Quoi: Zen and Snakes On a Plane by Jennifer Wright '08 Staff Writer Socrates died by Hemlock. Plato died, in a way which I'm unaware of, but it probably wasn't as important as the way Socrates died. 1'vfartin Luther died certain he was going to Heaven. Montaigne died, and (as someone in my seminar b.rilliantly pointed out) may have gone to Hell, but by God, he went there secure in the knowledge that he was Montaigne. Some say Cato the Younger is dead, while some - I - say he is a snuggle-bunny. What do all these philosophers have in common? They're dead (with the possible exception of Cato, who lives on, like Christmas joy, in the hearts of good people everywhere every day. And, in a marginally more corporeal form, on a futon in my closet). This is distressing, especially when you consider how long ago the vast majority of philosophers lived. The most recent person I can think of who laid forth any kind of philosophy that a large group of people follow is Ayn Rand. I won't actually make any statement about Ayn Rand, except to say that I think she's an engaging, passionate writer who happened to have some ideas that make me cry myself to sleep at night. But what cohesive philosophy exists to lead us into the 21 •t century? Snakes on a Plane. I'd never actually heard of Snakes on a Plane nntillast week. This probably has a lot to do with my not spending enough time on the internet. I was having lnnch at Potato Valley when this man at the next table dropped his tray. He said a very short, angry word and the man sitting with him said, "What you gonna do, man? Snakes on a plane." I loved that. 'Wow," I thought, "that man has come up with a really strange, distinctive phrase to describe bad things happening. I wonder if I should compliment him on it? No, that would be super awkward." I more or less forgot about it until a few weeks later when I heard a freshman girl singing a song which went "Snakes! On a plane! The pilot cannot explain!" She was singing it with jazz hands. When something merits jazz hands, it is, in my opinion, always worth googling. And, as it turns out, that man in Potato Valley gets no credit at all for originality, because Snakes 011 a Plane is a movie slated to be released in August. It has Samuel L Jackson in it who, midway through according to the preview shouts, "We gats to get these motherfcking snakes off this motherf-ckingplane." It is about - see if you can guess before I say what it's about - snakes on a plane. Apparently, midway through filming the creators wanted to change the name of the movie to something stupid like Flight 121, and Samuel L. Jackson said that if they did, he would quit, because the only reason he signed onto the movie was the fact that it was called S11akes 011 I'm really hoping there's a surprise ending, when, after getting all the snakes off the plane, Samuel L. Jackson reveals that he is, in fact, a giant snake in disguise. Or, rather a tiny snake, that lives inside a big Samuel L. Jackson shaped robot. I feel like that ending has "sequel" written all over it. Possibly the sequel could be called Snakes on a Brain- because the tiny snake could live inside the Samuel L. Jackson robot's head, just like that little alien in Men in Black. The possibilities are quite endless. The beauty of these sequel ideas is that they make about as much sense as the original movie. Snakes 011 a Plane is pretty much the worst premise for a movie I can possibly conceive of. And I love it. I'm not the only one who loves Snakes on a Plane either- this movie is outrageously popular. There are hundreds of songs and comics and webpages devoted to it - but by far my favorite is one which cites S 11akes on a Pla11e as being the new Zen Philosophy. The Zen Philosophy of Snakes 011 a Plane goes something like this. There is no plausible reason why snakes would be on the plane. They just are. And the people on the plane just have to accept it. By extension we are all on this plane called life. Life is filled with hundreds of metaphorical snakes, which we call problems. Why do problems happen? We don't know. Snakes on a plane. The pilot cannot explain (the pilot = God, who in this case is either unwilling or unable to explain the bad things that happen to us.) But by being like Samuel L. Jackson and boldly declaring, ''We gots to get these motherf-cking snakes off this motherf-cking plane," we are asserting our ability to take charge of our own destinies. We are saying that we can be like Samuel L. Jackson, and assert our free will in a world gone mad! Hurrah being like Samuel L. Jackson! We can triwnph over the snakes in all our metaphoric planes! .A.nd so, since we're already in hot debate • over adding Ayn Rand to the reading list, I say we might as well add S 11akes 011 a Plane. Or, at the very least, all go to see it when it comes out in August. here is no plausible reason why snakes would be on the plane. They just are. And the people on the plane just have to accept it. By extension we are all on this plane called life. Life is filled with hundreds of metaphorical snakes, which we call problems. T 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . a Plane. \Xlhich is great, because the title really does say it all. There are snakes on a plane. Hundreds of snakes. Who are, apparently, the only weapon that can go nndetected through the x-ray machine (although I feel like if the people researching that movie had actually been to an airport, and looked at the little camera monitor of the things going through the xray machine, they would realize that it gives the outline of the objects in your bag. I think they would check your bag if all the objects in it were shaped like snakes. And, you know, moving.) Why are the snakes on the plane? I have no idea. Apparently there's some flimsy premise about an assassin that wants to stop a man on the plane from testifying against him. This man is clearly not a very good assassin if he has to rely on hundreds of snakes to do all his dirty work. �Reynold's Tea Room by Nic Zakheim '06 Staff Writer It's very interesting to think about the differences between guys and girls when they want to go hang out. When I asked a male friend of mine where he goes to eat or hang out when he's "just with the guys," his response was McDonald's. When I pushed him a little more, asking him to be slightly more practical for my purposes, he said Griffin's or Riordan's, slightly grungy places where he and his friends can sit and get a beer and a burger. Very practical. Now girls, on the other hand, if they are planning to go out, want to be girl}~ They focus more on their clothing, their posture and their table manners when they are together and try to have nice, meaningful chit-chat. Well, at least they often start out that way until they relax. Last Saturday, I suddenly had a hankering for finger-food and a beverage that wasn't coffee. Since I'm a vegetarian, it's harder for me to go to a bar and get bar food, and sometimes it's too damned early for a beer. So I asked Rachel Schult2 to go with me to Reynold's Tea Room on State Circle. I've gone there occasionally for lunch (which is served unti!S:OO PM daily), when I've been in a slightly extravagant mood, but I'd actually never had their "high-tea" experience. Orders for high tea range from $8-$23 dollars per person, fora scone (get the raisin) with whipped creamandpreserves,litdecucumbet;egg-salad,o:eam cheese (and ham) finger-sandwicl1es and tea-cakes. Unfortunately, we were not the only females that were there that afternoon. "When we showed up at the time of our reservations (yes, they are consistently a good idea when you want to go there), the place was packed with middle-aged women with middle-aged derri.Cres, which made the occasionally cramped tea room slightly more so. But the nice thing was that since the tea room has such a refined-woman atmosphere, we could still sit without worrying about being hit by the loose limb of a neighboring table, and even converse without raising our voices and straining our ears. A $3.50 orderofteais actually a hrge pot full of the blend of your choice. Accompanied with cream and lemon. You have to let it steep for 24 minutes, so it might be a good idea for one of you to wear a watch. But after you've timed your tea, you should put the watch away or else you might get a little frustrated waiting for the rest of your order, especially on the weekend. The orders are usually prepared by only one or two people, in the very pretty kitchen at the back of the tea room. It's also near the only single-stall bathroom in the tea room, which is never a good idea at a restaurant that caters to women. Of course, the more you pa)~ tl1e more you get; but at theendofthemeal, don't expect to feel the same kind of fullness as when you have a big sandwich and fries; tea meals are European-sized portions, which means that you're supposed to takeyourtime and even leave you_-rself a little empty on pw.pose. Ifyou do go there forrealfood, the portions are still a little small and are also expensive. Yet the quality of the preparation is nothing to sneeze at and you also pay for the atmosphere. The soups of the day are often creamy, and the salads are all very classy and served in elaborate bowls or on pretty plates. The Tea Room's Quiche is a good deal, and for$9 it also comes with a small house salad, and I actually have nothad a chance to mste their stuffed portabella, which sounds delicious. The Reynold's Tea Room is one of those really authentic-looking locations that so many parts of commercial Annapolis strive to pullof4 and its clientele are willing to pay for that sort of experience, which I find quite understandable. Sometimes it is very nice to not have to yell or be expected to be cleanly dressed when you are going somewhere to eat and hang-<>ut Even though it is a girly-place, I hope some guys are manly enough to give it a try before they leave the Annapolis area. If You Want a Break from the Matthew Passion... by Seth Tipps '09 Assistant Editor Appat~ndy the editors at the Gadfly do not think I have enough diversity in my repertoire. I've reviewed lectures and concerts, and have been working on a review of Umberto &o's Foucault} Pendulum for some time now- but all this was not enough. I could be reviewing the performance of the St. Matthew Passion at the Kennedy Center, but instead I'm reviewing Ani DiFranco. Now don't jump your collective gun and assume that I am pouting. I don't think I could have picked a more enjoyable topic. Tills writing is a little more laid back than I am used to- not because I am dealing\vith pop music, but because it's good pop music. It is not too complex, but at the same time it is well-thought out and challenging in its own sense. llis is not so much a review as an explanation ofwhy I found Ms. DiFranco so listenable, and although I must say she is not exactly Paul Simon, why I think she upholds the folk music tradition that is so important to America. .i\1s. DiFranco is a folk artist ather roots. The album underconsiderationis a live recording of her Carnegie Hall performance of Aptil2006. It is a solo album: just Ani and her guitar, and quite a duo it is. With the speed of a bluegrass banjo virtuoso and a power that I've only heard from Leadbelly's famous twelve-string, this is nota talent to be ignored Thechordsaremoreor less jazz-based, but there is a dissonance that lends a great deal to the aggressive nature of Ani's songwriting. If my ears did not deceive me, Ani was changing tuning every song, which means that in themeantimeyougeta feel for her as an entertainer as she fills in the down-time with stories and poet:r)~ Her poet:r)r is very good, and her reading is better. It is fuirly conservative, frequently uses a :rhyme scheme and doesn't play with syntax too much, but is unique in its imaginative metaphor and heavy use of alliteration. This use of alliteration gives her music a lot ofdrive, somethingwhichmostpop music has to force on itself She seems to draw a lot .&om Bobs Dylan andi'vfadey, and she focusesherpoetry on politically sensitiveissues.1bis ofcourse gives her poetry an immediate voice, but as poetry it has the grave failing ofwanting to explain itself to the listener. This is something poets are cautioned against, especially when they use a great deal of metaphor. Telling your audience what a poem means just breaks the mood, and prevents them from getting a lot of the messagethattheycan onlyconnectwithifthey have to searcl1 for it On the other hand, this is something that most folk artists do (with the wonderful exception of Paul Simon), so her tailing is excusable. Allin all Ani Defranco is worth listening to if you get the chance. You will never hear another big-name female artist with this sort ofpower and edge, but at the same time she is playfully feminine, a nice balance that explains a good deal ofherpopularitywith people who arehonesdy too dllck to understand what is being thrown at them. She is definitely not for the easily offended, and she is more than guilty of political pandering, but that is part of the style, and it isn't going to change. We might as well learn to cope. Hell, if DanRera could play the guitar like Ani I might actually listen to him one day. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �The Perils of Unplanned Giving by Daniel Schwartz '06 In February, the Waltz Committee, hoping mon: few if any students chose to "fast" in order to support them. Few if any students threw the "Have a Heart" waltz party. For just knew rl1at they were doing so. one dollar, students could purchase a raffle ticket Of course, some students agree with and the chance to win a number of prizes. The Oxfam's position on these and other issues, raffle was held to support the Thousand Wells and others s1mply do not care. Yet even if they Project, an effort begun by the Chl'istian Rock would have contributed to Oxfam had they group Jars of Clay to build one thousand wells known all the facts, it remains true that they throughout Africa. The fundraiser was every did not know all the facts. They could have been bit as successful as the annual "Fast fora Wo.rld supporting virtually anything. Harvest," in which students can sign up to skip "Okay, we should have been more caumeals in the dining hall and have their unused tious," I hear the reader saying. «But now that money sent to Oxfam, an "international devel- I know the facts, I can contribute to Oxfam opment and relief agency." again." Not so fast. Like most of you, I don't Unfortunately, nobody has questioned the like to hear about starvation and death domipropriety of contributing to these charities. For nating a whole continent. I would love to live most, it is a seemingly obvious choice. Typi- in a world with a thriving, trading Africa. But cally, we can afford to part with a dollar, and we giving to Oxfam's political crusade only underlove to win prizes in raffles. Many students cuts this goal. Africa need not be poor, if only also skip meals on a regular basis anyway, it would move beyond the rule of corruption whether because they happen not to be hungry and physical force. If this is the solution, then or because they dread dining hall food. "I don't Oxfam is part of the problem. Oxfam's cameat all of my meals I've paid for anyway," se- paign consists in the attempt to force companior Genna _Hinkle explains. So why not have nies worldwide to comply with its demands. the unused money sent to help feed starving ''Don't build your gold mine here," it says, "or African children? else we'll get the govemment after you." Such Consider, however, what this question over- demands only reinforce the status quo in Africa looks. Junior Ben Crane, who purchased one and prevent it from adopting an economy in hundred raffle tickets, "admit[s] that [he] didn't which individuals have a right to their property do any research at all on the Thousand \Veils and can trade witl1 others voluntarily and to Project." Genna Hinkle says that she read mutual advantage. Africa needs political change; Oxfam's poster in the dining hall but did not it needs governments that protect the rights inquire any further into the organization. If of all of their citizens. Instead, Oxfam camthey researched these organizations, what paigns for the continuance of the rule of force. would they discover? That the Thousand Wells There is no intrinsic reason not to help AfProject is part of an effort to spread Christian- ricans deal with their short-term problems ity to Africa? That Oxfam provides moral sup- while they work towards more permanent port to terrorists? Among those who contrib- change. Oxfam, to the extent that it does feed uted to these charities, how many can honestly starving African children, provides minimal answer these questions? Very few, I am sure. help in the short-term while working in the The fact is that Oxfam does more than sim- long-term to reinforce the kind of economy ply provide food for starvingAftican children. which causes poverty in the first place. To conOne of its major investments is the promo- tribute to Oxfam would be like feeding a pertion of «social justice" through its so-called son cancer-causing medicine in order to alleviMake Trade Fair campaign. How is Oxfam ate his cancer symptoms. The symptoms may spending your money? By fighting against the subside imperceptibly in the short-term, but creation of gold mines in Ghana. By fighting the problem will only get worse. for weaker patent laws. By fighting against free Contributing to Oxfam is bad for Africa trade agreements between the US and other and bad for us, since a starving, dying Africa is countries. By fighting for an end to the em- not in our interest. Perhaps of more immedibargo on Cuba. The list ofleftist crusades con- ate concem, however, is the fact that Oxfam tinues, and they have one crucial fact in com- also campaigns for change in America. If to combine dancing with charitable giving, 6 Oxfam's favored policies with regard to the weakening of patent law are injurious to pharmaceutical companies -if they prevent them from doing further research and development -then not only will sick people overseas suffer, but so will sick people in America, to say nothing of the torture inflicted on people who work in the pharmaceutical industry (of which I have heard first-hand). Is every charity as hatmful as Oxfam? Certainly not. As far as I can tell, for instance, donating to the Thousand Wells Project might be worthwhile. But the important point is that most of rl1e students who purchased raffle tickets neither knew what they were supporting nor thought about the decision rationally. They simply imagined that acting for the sake of other people cannot be anything but good. Yet the proper pmpose of giving to charity is to make use of otherwise unused money or resources in order to make a positive impact on the world that we live in, and this cannot be done blindly. Before buying your next raffle ticket, before skipping your next meal, remember not to abandon your brain in your attempt to "Have a Heart." . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY Come Work With Us! Meetngs: Tusdqys at 5:30 BBC 109 Send submissions to gadfly@sjca.edu �Hang In There: The Last Four Weeks by Elizabeth Burlington '08 We all know the drill. It's the middle of April, the weather is gorgeous, essays have been turned in, and all your classmates are in danger of being murdered with an axe by you. All year, you have put up with their little idiosyncrasies- that noise they make when they want to speak in seminar, that kid who only talks in math class when you're discuss- ing vague philosophical principles and not actual math, that one classmate who would rather pick apart your personal life than tell you what the music assignment is- and now you're ready to run home to Mommy and Daddy. Lucky for you, they have no idea what you are talking about when you refer to "the Form of the Good" and for the ensuing months you will be regarded as an intellectual god. Summer break is just around the proverbial corner, but until it arrives you will have to endure the torture that is The Last Four Weeks of SchooL Most of you have seen it before: the panic, the horror, the kid who tries to cram a semester's worth of sucking up into a few short weeks. You are well aware that everyone in your language tutorial is as anxious to get out into the sunshine as you are, but the classroom's cruel walls keep those dreams in check. No one seems to want to think anymore, so they just talk. Parallels are drawn between things that have never before met on the intellectual batdefield, elaborate metaphors are constructed to explain the simplest of principles, and new records are set in the Stating the Obvious department. If you are lucky, you will even get to witness a few instances of Someone Repeating Someone Else's Earlier Point Almost \Vord for Word and Not Realizing It. This is all done in the name of Wasting Time. I do not personally believe in the idea of elaborate nu- merology allegedly shaping the St. Matthew Passion, but I am more than happy to talk about it for 45 minutes if it means I won't have to come up with any ideas of my own. lvfy final remaining brain cell breathed its last circa 3:30 pm on March 20th when I stapled together the fmal draft of my sophomore paper. Since then, my state of mind has been like to that of a bowl of warm tapioca pudding. At the risk of raising sus- pi cion in the minds of my tutors, I will refrain from describing in detail the extent to which I have perfected the fine art of Wasting Time. Suffice it to say, if there were an Olympic event dedicated to such I would take home all the medals (Elaborate meta- Weekend is a great opportunity for you to spend time with that guy who lets you bum cigarettes from him after you have had too much to drink 0 oe Dyer, you have not been forgotten!). phor: 1; Me: 0). As painful as The Last Four While these sometimes nerve-wrecking college procedures are not necessarily a cause for elaborate celebration, they are useful inasmuch as they give you a means by which to compare yourself to others, particularly those with whom you share one or all classes. The question "How was your Don Rag?" can be translated two ways: 1) "How was your Don Rag?" 2) "What did that tutor that we have in common say about you? I would like to know because I plan to use the information to deduce their opinion of me based on my conception of your and my comparative classroom performances /Are you coming back next year?" If, at any point, someone whips out #2, be sure to make up a story that will scare him or her into never asking again. Nobody likes a deducer. Don Rags are also important because they allow you to learn whether or not you are good at Wasting Time (hint: if others can Weeks may be, however, there are still a handful of happenings to distract your classroom thoughts away from Ptolemy or Sir Francis Bacon: CROQUET (Apri123): Since I work in the College's Communications Office, the croquet hoo-hah is not new to me. I have been stuffing announcements into envelopes for weeks, and every newspaper article concerning this event has met the cold steel of my scissors. This little gathering provides all us tired Philosopher-Kings-in-training with a chance to wear goofy clothes that we would never be caught dead in otherwise, point at the l'vfidshipmen with an unearned feeling of intellectual superiority, and (at least for the upperclassmen) reminisce about That Time we were self-conscious freshmen belting out the Star Spangled Banner in front of an audience that was many times larger than that group of four people who always showed up on Thursdays and leered over the balcony at us. Plus, if you have any friends you could bring food and have a nice lil' picnic, and there is always a chance that you may find the actual game worthy of some interest. REALITY WEEKEND (May 5-7): From the folks who brought you Lola's, S&C, and half of the Drag Ball, comes Reality Weekend, the most fun that can be had with toilet paper since that Halloween back in Th grade. Not being terribly familiar with this organization as a whole (a direct result of staying in my room and never going anywhere), I cannot do the events of this weekend justice. All I can say is that if you are angry with anyone for, oh, say, drunkenly sucking on your face at a party and being a jerk afterwards or if you consider a certain member of the polity to be a notable social ignoramus, you may finally get closure (or at least twisted satisfaction) from The Skit. Public mockery aside, Reality DON RAGS/CONFERENCES: tell, you have failed). In order not to risk incriminating myself even further, I must bid you all adieu. There is little time remaining, and it must be wasted appropriately. So the next time a core group member reduces the morality in Shakespeare to a single dimension, or someone you know (definitely not you) spends seminar looking for a "Sicut Cervus" ringtone, remember that you are not alone. Everyone has ants in their pants these Last Four \Veeks, but it is your responsibility to make sure they do not bite you repeatedly and cause an infectious rash to spread over your body to the point where only Dr. House and his team can save you. Summertime will soon be upon us, and before you know it, you will find yourself desperate for Reality, Don Rags, and that kid in your language class who likes giving long monologues about how every single word you used in your last sentence has some type of Greek root. THE GADFLY. 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College PO. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Johnnie Quotes of the Week Ms. S: I smite you with my stunning indifference. Thtor: I can explain infinite motion to you. But it would take an infinite amount of time, and I'm going to die eventually. Mr. G : Is your soul still in your dorm room? Mr. J: Do you think Nina Carrieri 'scat is infinitely divisible? Thtor: Ptolemy is your typical "Generation-Alpha" slacker. Thtor: Basically, the whole Republic is just Socrates and Glaucon playing "Sim-City" with cheat codes. Ms. B: The only reason my cousins haven't bumped me off yet is that bulldozer. Send_ your memorable DATE DUE ANNUAL CROQUET MATCH St. John's College vs. The Naval Academy Sunday, April 2J1 r:oo 2oo6 PM There is no charge for admission and no rain date. The competition takes place on the front lawn of St. John's College. Imperial Wickets: Matthew Mangold '06 (S]C). and Midshipman 1st Class Dustin Wood (USNA) Fonnore information, con/act Patricia Dempsry, 410-626-2539 patricia. dempsry@gca.edu Subscribe to the Gadfly 2006-2007 $30 per Year $15 per Semester Get ajump start on a great deal! 8 THE GADFLY � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource McClay, Mark F. (Editor in Chief) Roberts, Aaron B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVII, Issue 22 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2006-04-20 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVII, Issue 22 of The Gadfly. Published April 20, 2006. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 27.22 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication