46 20 5655 https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/ccf2b406755c782fe763af888b94b514.pdf 979bf35353d59d48eaab0c0fcfbcbb3d PDF Text Text TH ~1111~1~1g~11111111G AD F Ly ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY Annapolis, Maryland September 21, 2004 The St. John's College Student Weekfy Volume XXVI, Issue 4 Network Problems Explained by Samuel Huckins During the last two weeks, you may have noticed that the campus network was experiencing some difficulties. For most users, these entailed an inability to connect to the internet from any ports or over the wireless networks. In some cases, users could not log into computers in the HSCC (Hodson Student Computer Center). Many were distressed - some with good reason - about this hiatus; some waited patiently for the problem to be resolved, some tried to discover the nature of the problem, and some decided that the best approach would be to complain and toss insults in the direction of IT. I want to lay out what the nature of the problem was and what solutions were attempted. On Friday, September 10, the problem first emerged of users not being able to access the internet from their rooms or the HSCC. Most people received IP address (InternetProtocol, identifiers for nodes of TCP /IP based networks) conflicts when they tried to open a web application such as Internet Explorer or iTunes. It was soon discovered that this was due to one or more users enabling the Internet Connection Sharing option among their network settings. This may have been attempted by users trying to set up their own wireless networks. The effect of this, however, is that computers with this option enabled acted as secondary servers on the network, creating IP address conflicts as other computers on the network received addresses from more than one server. One user with this setting Network continued on page 4 Part 1: Students Speak out about Dishpit confusion from lab, and complaints from students about the dining hall. That being by Brie Aines and Cathy Keene said, it would almost seem unnecessary to Staff Writer and Business Manager, address any of these issues in writing if it respectively weren't for the nature of this year's com(Editorial Note: Before you even begin to plaints. However, believe it or not, some sturead this article, please take note: this is on!J dents are actually saying that working in the half of the story. In the following feature, we dining hall has gotten worse. Now, we know what you are thinking. present information and quotes that we have gathered from students who work in the dining hall Probably the same thing Cathy was when concerning the complaints we have heard emanat- she heard about it: That's just ridiculous; the students are being melodramatic or ing from the dishpit within the last few weeks. However, due to abundance of homework, we have something. What could have possibly not yet had the time to talk to any dining hall changed that makes it so much worse this staff members or administration. In next week '.r year? Well, according to some of the workissue, provided our homework doesn't try to de- ers, things have changed quite a lot. And most stroy us, we will write Part 2 of the story: Staff of them think not all changes have been for Members Speak Out About the Dishpit. There- the better. "For one thing, dishpit employees are fore, please don't form a'!Y unshakable opinions now required to wear a uniform (of sorts) about the matter just yet. We have yet to show when on the job," said one first-time superyou both sides.) It seems like every year begins with the same ingredients: conflict from the Gadfly, Dishpit continued on back page �THE ..-GADFLY Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein A&E Editor Julie Janicki Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Brie Aines Christopher Bartos Erikk M. Geannikis Stacey Goguen Samuel Huckins Tom Jacobs J.A.M. Luke J ayapalan Max Kronberg Justin Lee Jenny Lowe Erin Owens John Peterson Leo Pickens Sean Valles Founded in 1980, the Gatif!yis the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gatif!y staff. The Gatif!y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gatif!y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 Student's Advisor Request Resembles Middle School Love L.etter by Tom Jacobs After months of tortured, angst-ridden meditation, St. John's Senior Matt Gates finally worked -up the courage to ask tutor Mrs. Buchanauer to be his Senior Essay advisor. "I've had my eye on her for months," Mr. Gates confessed nervously, peering over his shoulder to make sure no one else was listening. ''But I was afraid that she would say no." When pressed for details as to why he chose this particular tutor for his potential advisor, Mr. Gates blushed and disclosed the contents of his letter requesting Mrs. Buchanauer's assistance and advice on his senior essay. It reads as follows: 'Dear Mrs. Buchanauer, I wanted to talk to you about this in person, but I haven't seen you around recently, so I figured I'd write instead. I really liked working with you on my junior essay last year, and I know that you are interested in Russian Literature. Anyway, here is my proposed title for the essay (work in progress (duhD): 'There's Something About Natasha: A Penetrating Look into Tolstoy's Steamier Moments." Maybe we can get together sometime and have coffee or something and maybe talk about War and Peace. Or whatever, if you don't want to that's cool. No, it's really not cool. What I guess I've been trying to say all along is: Will you be my paper advisor? y N (Check one) Love (I hope), (signed) Matthew Bogan Gates ?' Though the letter was written last week and has since undergone eight revisions, Mr. Gates has as yet declined to mail it. "I just don't want to come off as too eager," he explained. "She's ... sensitive. I really want this whole thing to work out." When asked whether he felt any competition from other seniors for l\frs. Buchanauer's attention, l\fr. Gates declined comment. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �WHY THE HEIL DOES IT HAVE ITS OWN OLYMPIC TEAM? Specifically, one that beats ours (their Basketball Team beat ours, for those of you nerds who don't follow sports. Nerds.) But, as was mentioned before ... WE OWN THEM. THEY SHOULD BE ON OUR TEAM. We're pretty sure that insomuch as we own the land and control the government, we own all the people-as well. So what kind of crazy situation is it when the slaves beat their master? In basketball?/ Sincerely, J.C. *Dear Jews' Clues: When, outside of high school relationships, can you use the phrase" It's not you, it's me." Veraciously Euthanizing Children *Dear Jews' Clues: Did you guys make up that Bartos letter, or did he really write in? Everyone VeryoneEryoneRyone YoneOneNeE Dear E.V.E.R.YO.N.E.: We didn't make it up. He really wrote it in. We realize that there has been confusion about letters we receive, and we'd like to take this opportunity to discuss them. At least Jewish Anonymous Man Q.A.M.) would. Max thinks this is ridiculous, unnecessary, and maybe recockulous. Although he's not sure he should say the last one. So he's going to discuss this under protest, lodging a complaint with Gadfly Editor Chris Utter, which is about as useful as lodging a complaint with a pretty, pretty flower. Except he's not that pretty. We print two types of letters here at JC : ones that people write in, and ones we make up. We realize that there has been no way to tell which is which ... until now. Jews' Clues, Tuesday Nite "Fites", and the Crew Team are proud to introduce the S.T.A.R. (Systematically Telling About wRiting) System. From now on, all real letters will have a star before the question. All fake letters will be preceded by a slightly smaller, barely dis~ tinguishable star. We hope this clears up all confusion. We also hope that people tell Chris Utter how not pretty he is, because he's way too vain- he probably thinks this song is about him. He's seriously listening to that song, right now, and singing, and thinking it's about him. So take him down a peg or two. For righteousness. *DearJews' Clues: What's the deal with Webster Ye? Why doesn't he look like me? Women Hate Intellectuals Terribly Especially Guys - Uxcept Ye Dear W.H.I.T.E.G.U.Y.: It's because he's from China. Speaking of other countries, what's the deal with Puerto Rico? It's not a state .. .is it a "territory''? However, we do know one thing about the Sovereign Nation of Puerto Rico: we own it. All of it. Yes, the United States of America has complete ownership of this odd little geographical entity. What this fails to explain, however, is this: Dear V.E.C.[H] Your acronym is just disgusting. And Euthanizing is not a word. And you left the "h" out of your name. So thanks for coming up with your own acronym. Psyche! [Please help us bring psyche back. It was hella cool. { Is hella an expletive? (What do you do with brackets inside brackets?< Early in the morning.>)}] There are few times when it's acceptable to use the phrase, " It's not you, it's me." (But still more than the situations it's acceptable to use the phrase, "It's not me, it's you," which you can never use, unless you are Alex Constantine, Aaron Brager.) You may use the preceding phrase when you are dyslexic. -J.C. Dear Jews' Clues: If one were to construct a bridge and a tunnel across the Atlantic Ocean, creating a TransAtlantic bridge and tunnel (see picture), what will we do with the dirt from the tunnel? And, can we use it to construct our bridge? That is all. Heros Admirably Neutralizg (sic) Opulent Virtual Entrail Razors Dear H.AN.O. V.E.R.: You shut your mouth. Bridges are made out of steel and reinforced concrete ... not dirt, which is what you are. You could, however, glue all the ditt together and launch it into Earth's orbit, and then utilize this new land for the St. John's College Satellite Campus. It'll probably be better than Fe, except when you dissect a fish and the blood goes EVJews' Clues continued on page 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Jews' Clues continued from page 3 : ERYWHERE. (Or you could always send.the : dirt down the Mainline.) Now, there are a few problems with your : diagram. The bridge/tunnel combination goes · from New York City to Bordeaux, but Bor- : deaux is not on the coast of France. Also, your · tunnel would have to dig straight through the : 1-fid-Atlantic Ridge, which sounds daunting. · Your system would. require a plethora o,.f ~underwater artificially oxygenated service sta- . tions to service automobiles that broke down : orsimplyrequiredgasoline. Sincewedon'tsee · any underwater villages in your plan, we as- : sume thatyou will somehowgenetically engi-: neeraraceofattractiveandvirilemermenand. women to work at these stations. Cars with · standard transmissions could not use the . bridge and tunnel, because mermen and : women cannot operate a clutch, due to their . lack offeet. The two problems with executing this plan . are: (1) our technology is easily three years away : from such genetic engineering, and (2) the dan- · ger posed by a race of attractive and virile : mermen far outweighs the benefits of your · transatlantic bridge, as they would probably : rise up against us, forcing us to live in the dis- · gusting, squid-filled water, and taking up all : of our delicious land. Finally, it seems that you've drawn a fish : twice the size of New York City. We are terri- · fied of this fish, and think that we should not : disturb his lair, which you seem to have drawn · as approximately nine times the size ofBor- : deaux. (Assuming, of course, that that deep · pit under the fish is his lair.) Your Servants, J.C. Shalom to Arie Doak. We spelled his last : name "Doke" in the previous issue when . calling his name fake. "Doak" is much, : much faker. Shalom to Mike Vecchiolla. We just real- : ized that your name doesn't have an H · where we thought it did. Shalom to Shoshana Goldstein. Sorry to · hold you up. Shalom to David Prosper. Thanks for · the new computer. Shalom to Judith Seeger. For having· comfortable chairs in your office. 4 THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . Network continued from front page enabled anywhere in the network could have caused the entire network to experience these conflicts, although it seems that a number of users had enabled this setting. The problem may also have been caused by users misconfiguring network settings when setting up personal networks using hubs (which incidentally, is not permitted on campu,s, as the IT Stu_dent Handbook menti_Qn"~'­ in order to avoid problems such as the one . experienced). Once discovered, the first solution attempted for this problem involved locating which user(s) had enabled this setting. This should have been simple enough, as each computer on the network has a MAC (MediaAccessControl) address, a unique identifier code for each node on the network. However, after several individuals were identified and the setting turned off, the problem was not entirely corrected, although it seemed to be when the IT staff left for the weekend. This is why no notifications were sent out concerning the lack of access, as it first seemed to be a small problem and appeared to have been fixed. The problem re-emerged over the weekend, causing more distress with no one around to assist, although this was not intentional. By Monday, the IP address conflicts were not as numerous, although the internet was still not accessible to most users. A new problem was also detected at this point. A vims appeared on the network (most likely a variant of Bagel or Mydoom) and spread to several users. This may have been merely another vims coming from outside sources, or it might have been spread by a malicious user on the network. In any case, this vims caused denial-of-service attacks, which involve a server being flooded with data requests so that it cannot answer requests by actual users. At this point, users either could not connect to the internet, or found that when they could connect, access was very slow. By Wednesday, the remaining IP address conflicts had been corrected, and the vims has been removed from the network, mainly because of users' weekly vims file updates. It is becoming more and more difficult to avoid all vims attacks, as viruses are being witnessed with far more sophisticated methods of entry and dissemination. The most recent problem has been corrected, but how might it be avoided in the future? Here are two general technical suggestions which, although basic, reduce the occurance of such problems greatly: Do not set up personal networks. This means not using hubs (wireless or standard). If you happen to have a good reason why you need to set up a personal network, come to IT and, if the reason seems sufficient, we will help you properly set up the network to avo_id any conflicts. Setting issues are not limited to Windows machines. Misconfiguration is easy to do on any computer. Update virus files weekly if not daily. Keep anti-virus subscriptions renewed. If you do not have a virus scanner, you can download McAfee 8 for free at http:/ /netreg.polity.sjcsf.edu. For specific removal of new viruses, Stinger is a good program, which is also available free from several sources. Just search for it on Google and it should not be difficult to locate. There is also another aspect of this problem which is more difficult to solve: proper channels of communication. There may be certain inefficiencies concerning intra-IT office communication, but this is already being considered by the staff, and I think that there is more of a problem in the communication between IT and students as well as tutors. Many students have complained about not being informed by IT about network difficulties in the past. But the complication is, of course, that in many cases, such problems involve a lack of internet access, and sending an E-mail about the lack of E-mail access is obviously pointless. So I would propose some sort of bulletin board on which current problems, suggestions, and estimations about how long problems will exist can be listed. Although this could be done in the HSCC, I think that one in the coffee shop would be more efficacious, as there are many student computer users that never use the HSCC. Whatever form such a forum takes, it should also be for tutors. In this last period of difficulty, tutors were unaware that the student network was down, and so may have sent E-mails about assignments which the students could not access. It seems to me that a bit of awareness, consideration, and open communication could do much to improve the workings of the network and the happiness of the polity. �B.I.G. Projects Abound :All College Seminar Recap by Christopher Bartos Staff Writer by Jenny Lowe Last Saturday morning, when more sensible people were lounging around or sleeping in, a few intrepid women of the polity set out for a huge, decrepit warehouse in Edgewater. We were on our way to help out with Project B.I.G., which stands for Books for International Goodwill, an organization which is run by the Rotary Club of Crownsville, and headed by Steve Frantzich, a professor at the Naval Academy. Its mission is to send books to impoverished countries and also to U.S. soldiers stationed abroad. The warehouse was huge and stuffed to the gills with books ofevery kind, from romance novels to economics textbooks. Our job was simply to pack boxes of books according to subject matter to send off to schools in Africa. Project B.I. G. is a wonderful place to volunteer, because whether you're able to help out for one hour or eight hours, you are a great help to the effort. In two hours we probably packed about fifteen large boxes full of books that would have otherwise gone to waste here at home, but will be much coveted in Nigeria and Kenya. Also, the warehouse is only about ten minutes past the Harbor Center, so it's not far to go. They are open on the following Saturdays: October 9th and 16th, November 6th and 13th, and December 11th. If you would like to get involved, 1\1r. Frantzich's email is frantzich@usna.edu. You can also donate any gently used books, and a very big thank you to all those who donated theirs last week! We brought over two boxes of books, and I know that someone, somewhere is going to be eagerly reading Lavoisier and thinking, "He did WHAT to those vessels?" On another note, WBS is pleased to announce another fun-filled activity in the works. Yes, it's the end of September, and that means apple-picking time is here! Next Saturday, September 25th, weather permitting, any ladies of the polity who are interested are invited to a Girl's Day Out to Weber's Cider 1\-fill Farm outside of Baltimore for apple-picking and general autumnal fun. We will be leaving from the Campbell parking lot at 1 pm (allowing plenty of time for sleeping in... this is Saturday, after all). So that we can figure out transportation issues, please RSVP by Friday afternoon to me, either via campus mail, callingx6957, or email, Jennifer.Lowe@sjca.edu. Hope to see you there! : : : : · . : McDowell Hall was fired up last Friday night as students milling about the quad slowly filtered into the All College Seminar (ACS). Before long, the high ceilings in the rooms of the old colonial were reverberating with discussion. Required reading for those attending was "Ode on a Grecian Um" by John Keats and "On not knowing Greek" by Virginia Woolf. The first is one of the best known poems ofJohn Keats describing the frozen action on an ancient Greek urn that tells us "Beauty is truth, truth beauty, - that is all/ Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know'', the second an essay investigating the nature of the attraction of the ancient Greeks. The students in the seminar (ranging from freshmen to GI's) were soon engaged with examining the differing attitudes toward that loveable and wise race so well known here at St. John's. After all the chairs had been pushed in and the students had gone out to the Great Hall for refreshments, I talked with Mr. Justin Lanier, a member of the Student Committee on Instruction (SCI), which puts on the ACS. According to him, the committee took the list of suggested readings from the coffee shop and then examined which pieces would be feasible. After narrowing it down to five selections, one member asked, "Why don't we do both Keats and Woolf?" The idea was readily accepted and the readings were handed out. The beauty of the selection was two-fold in that it gave the students a selectio12 of a romantic poet (which not even sophomore language covers) and an American female writer (another type of writing often neglected by the program). Both of the works also contrasted with each other nicely in a way that allowed for lively discussion. According to the students whom I spoke to, the ACS was definitely a great success. What the students liked was the variety of opinions from students of all ages (including tutors). It also provided an opportunity for everyone to cross the class-gap and get acquainted with the Johnnies not in your core-group, seminar or tutorials. If you feel left out and discouraged that you did not participate in one of the highlights of the Johnnie academic year, worry not. The SCI will host another All College Seminar in the spring semester. All it requires is that you sign up on the sheet in coffeeshop and pick up a reading either at the coffee-shop or the library. Also, make sure to keep your eyes open for the J ohnnie/Middie seminar sometime soon. Everyone should take the time to do the readings and forego the hour of partying on a Friday night for this very worthwhile experience. Everyone's Favorite Monkey by Erin Owens So Nick, how do you like being the Treasurer of the Take THIS MK:rosott Paint! most awesomest club on . · campus? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Movie Review: Hero by Luke Jayapalan struct the viewer's emotional involvement Don't be fooled by the banal English in the proceedings. To some extent, Hero title: Zhang Yimou's Hero is more than your falls prey to this danger, encouraging an average end-of-summer blockbuster. Mov- observational detachment not helped by the iegoers who keep close tabs on international film's preoccupation with aesthetic spectacle, cineID.a ID.ay already hav~ '~f le~St a pai~Uig · but it manages to circumvent this by the · familiarity with Hero under a different name, end, ironically, through a cleverly manipuYing Xiong, one of the Best Foreign Lan- lated side effect of the revisionist technique guage Feature nominees from the 2003 Acad- itself. Hero avails itself of the fact that even emy Awards. (It eventually lost the Oscar to as we see new versions of each the also quite excellent German film No- encounter and ought logically to where in Africa.) Though slow to debut in dismiss previous versions as utterly fictitious, we cannot help U.S. theaters, Hero remains a welcome arrival for those viewers who, like some of but take those previous versions the film's characters, perceive a kinship be- as precedents on which our untween fanciful swordplay and the graceful derstanding of the characters artistry of calligraphy and music. rests. Thus the characters, Still, those viewers who find themselves though they are not especially ambivalent to the supernaturally sprightly multidimensional in any given martial arts choreography common to China version considered in isolation, acquire nuance and a and Hong Kong's sense of internal conmodern flict because we have w u x 1 a seen them respond in multiple films - a ways to similar circumstances. genre that What prevents this from seemderives from ing arbitrary and chaotic is that the A s i a n arcs that the characters follow in chivalric liteach version are often roughly of era ture the same shape, as it were. This is may find especially noticeable with two of something the assassins, the lovers Broken to appreciate in the dramatic underpinnings Sword and Flying Snow, of Hero's telling, to which the combat is whose tragic romance unkept appropriately ancillary. A mytho-his- folds comparably despite torical account of the unification of China the obvious superficial under the Qin dynasty, Hero brings a name- variations in each telling. less warrior to an audience with the King of It is as if, regardless of Qin to receive royal favor. Nameless (as he any shifts in character and is referred to throughout the film) relates, situation, these two are in extended flashback, the skill and schem- inexorably drawn to the ing he used to defeat three formidable as- truth of a single destiny. sassins hostile to the King. But the listen- Their relationship, the ing King doubts key elements of Name- most successfully poiless' tale and proposes a revised version of gnant element in Hero, the encounters, only to have this telling becomes increasingly imchanged again as the film eliminates impu- portant to the story as a whole and ultimately rities in each story until a distilled product dovetails nicely with the political encounter remains that is, apparently, the true chronicle between Nameless and the King of Qin. of what occurred. (As for the philosophy espoused when the There is potential danger in such encounter in the throne room comes to a revisionist storytelling, as its natural ten- head, it is likely to be divisive among viewdency toward the analytical can easily ob- ers: some will find it strangely beautiful in 6 its harrowing necessity; others will consider it unsettlingly propagandistic.) Supporting and at times almost overwhelming the story is the dazzling and lavish splendor of Hero's imagery. The characters,-wiih cliei!intricate and balletlc wirewo.rk, sweep through frames that are saturated with vibrant color in conscientiously coordinated tonal schemes where clothing, architecture and even landscapes all employ close shades of often no more than three colors at a time, some times only one. This lush cin ematography is tastefully com pl em en ted by computer graphics to achieve effects like the slicing of individual droplets of water by the edge of a sword, or the synchronized transition of yellow leaves to red, but the digital work is blissfully unobtrusive and many viewers may not even be conscious that effects are being employed beyond a general sense that these images should not be possible otherwise. By far the most difficult to describe of Hero's merits is how- unlike many modern narratives, where scene is the chief vehicle of plotevents in Hero are often rendered with a spare vigor (occasionally bordering on abruptness) that combines with the slower treatment of the imagery to create a rough cinematic equivalent of the pacing and rhythm of mythological poetry. In this perhaps lies the film's principal beauty, even more than in its colors and contemplations. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Your Crappy Opinions: Part II by John Peterson Staff Writer It has come to my attention that there are some people writing responses to my article oflastweek. It seems appropriate that I should explain my wild and disorganized thoughts preemptively, since my style lends itself to misinterpretation. Often I'll write an article that seems to be about something particular, yet at the end it veers off into some more encompassing topic. The clever reader would perhaps discover that I was talking about the latter topic all along, and the former one only ostensibly. For instance, in lVIichae! ivfoore, Fahrenheit 9 / 11, and 'Your Crappy Opinions,' I used i'viichael Moore only as an example. Originally I was operating on some level of irony undetectable even by me, in perpetrating the same type of ad hominem attack on Moore as he pulled on the President. The irony is only incomplete, however, since I never descended to the level of'facts,' or 'research' in order to somehow discredit Moore. This makes my injunction to "keep your crappy political opinions to yourself" only partially hypocritical In fact, I am only really a hypocrite if one is inclined to think that I was really writing about Michael Moore, which I was not. I am glad that at least one of my respondents is concerned about my last paragraph, in which I make some statements about what is appropriate discourse at St. John's (the real topic). If I have raised the discussion to this more fundamental level, then I have succeeded. If some student idles in his political campaigning long enough to question the basis for his :interest in "politics," I will be glad. If the question is asked whether it is worth talking about the qualities of the presidential candidates, or other contemporary 'issues,' and we answer, "yes, it is worth it," I will still be glad to have asked the question and perhaps thereby to have lessened the undue fanaticism with which we now approach them. I look forward to reading and hearing the arguments for the "yes" answer. I, however, say "no." Here is why: First, look at what we do here: we do not read what politicians and demagogues and modern flavor and fleeting falsehood tell us to read; no, we read the great books, the timeless books, the true and beautiful books. We do not receive our lessons from the mouth of some pontificating professor; no, we get them from careful study and civil conversations with our peers. \Ve encounter books with the respect we know they are due, each time expecting that its words transcend all time, knowing its historical aspect is interesting but ultimately unimportant to the truths of human existence it reveals. We do not expect our tutors to provide us with some popular new political interpretation; rather, we know they will be fair and equitable-in class only reason and timeless sentiment are authorities. Second, look at the world outside of St. john's, beg.nning with mass media: it is a swirling mess of images and sounds and colors that blip out of existence as soon as they are recognized. We get "news" 24 hours a day: hundreds dead in an earthquake in Peru, it will be partly cloudy with a chance of rain, President Bush unveils his new environmental policy, around the world in 60 seconds. Everything's important, everything's urgent, here a crisis, there a crisis, everywhere a crisis, you need this, you need that, screaming and yelling and appeals of the lowest level. Here is where our politicians operate. This is where they try to win our favor, where they promulgate their talking points and 'facts' and 'research' for us to L.tJli.tate. We cannot win by mixing these worlds. Careful, reasoned thinking does not admit of an interested passion that denies the possibility of an opposite opinion having any validity. Philosophy does not stand a chance with banner-waving morons v,;ho repeat any motto given them. We are not fans of Nietzche so much that we would defend a priori anything he scrys. U7e listen, and if he scrys reasonable things, we assent. If his words have no meaning, we scry, "I do not understand. Can this be explained?" Why then would we accept a level of discourse so tepid as to be designed not to have real meaning? I see no reason to fall to such a level-I am not Descartes' yes-man and I am not on George Bush 'team.' s Imagine defending some point of scholarly interest the way he would defend John Kerry's service record, or some other inanity. Even if we could keep these types of debate separate, why would it be desirable? How can I trust the sincerity of a fellow student if he endeavors to defend a political faction with the utmost seriousness? \Vbat if I take up the defense of the other faction? The threat from this kind of discourse is not that its object is nearly unknowable, but that it is so heated, because it is aimed at present fortunes. For instance, the upcoming general election is a power struggle in which both contending parties are willing to say anything to win. This is not the struggle for the man of reason and neither party is the party of philosophers. It is not worth bringing the heated rhetoric of this world into our quiet liberal arts college by the bay. 'But,' you may say, 'this is an important election. I know both candidates are just sleazy politicians, but it is important that ... Also, it is my duty as a citizen to be informed and to make an informed vote. Therefore it is important to get the facts.' Wnat facts? No fact you have has escaped the plying hands of some faction. You tell me the difference between one candidate's 'plan' and the other's, but your words have no meaning. I would need knowledge of contemporary politics for the past half-century, definitions of cutely-named 'initiatives' and 'programs,' knowledge of what they entail, and countless other bits of ephemera in order to really understand one politician's speech. No one can have anything but a very limited and incomplete understanding of these things, and only the vainest of men would pretend to be an authority. Do not misunderstand me. I am a student of political science and I am interested in the government of men. I regularly attend the Political Forum at St. John's. It is not all political opinions that I disparage, but "crappy" ones-the contemporary, passionate, fanatical sewage that is reminiscent of squabbling children. If you want to vote, do so. For my part, an informed vote is no vote at all. \X'hen it is time to 'get involved' or 'speak out' in the defense of my country or some political party, I will know it. In speaking out now, I only defend my school. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �Movie Review: Secretary by Justin Lee In the film Secretary director Steven Shainberg attempts to portray a different view oflove. In that respect, Shainberg is successful-sortof. For the film's view is different, but is it love that the movie provides a different view of? At the movie's outset, a handcuffed Lee Holloway foreshadows the main idea of the film as she is caught between a contradictory state of vulnerability and empowerment before flashing back to her initial release from an institution. It is at this point that the audience is introduced to the main character's opening situation and her need for support and structure within her life. Not coincidentally, the film then focuses upon her family, and we are led to believe through Lee's subsequent acts of masochism after dealing with her farnily that their form of love and support is not adequate. Indeed, as an audience we are given a mother whose superfluous love ultimately hinders her daughter's emotional maturation and an alcoholic father who is unable to manifest any form of meaningful love. The love given to Lee by her family is described metaphorically by the scene where she is seen using floatation devices to keep afloat Lfl the pool. Willle floatation devices allow one to keep afloat, they also prevent one from becoming a proficient swimmer while wearing t..11.em. In the same way, Lee is ioved, but is unable to become independent and so instead seeks out some other more substantial love. In her quest for independence, Lee applies for a secretarial position. Ironically, it is in this 'position' that she ultimately becomes depen- dent on her boss' approval. Her dependence is a contradictory combination of acceptance and rejection. Through her boss' sadistic tendencies, Lee can find the correction and reform she craves while at the same time be needed. Her job eventually becomes a 'floatation device' as well, as she is seen once again floating in her pool with her thoughts consumed by her boss. It is in their first masochistic/ sadistic encounter ta'iat their respective situation is described through Lee's mistyped letter: one of "imprisoned animals." Indeed, both characters are imprisoned by their tendencies, and are unable to develop beyond t..liem. Lee's boss, however, does realize the horror of his situation, , \,Ji,;,t. ••• 1 •::.vH-s: 1 ~·;, !W~ .;i.Y t:d:!.~§"~ ~ f-<E. f'Atk 'ii!::!' ~{"4 H~J i;,S{. ·~.i...t:r rw \'?#i.l 4Q.P..t,:¥ cN•~~t4G t-<."!01<. r I ~ WA1< w~TI~.! f4~1'~c~·. I<+ E'.Gfi t- . . • '1 l J ~ ¥1'~? .1\1411'.i t.-~T 1 t;,iM~A-T A~~'T? -....._ 8 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and attempts to break free - as he has done before - by firing Lee. Without this 'floatation device' in her life, Lee sinks to the bottom of the pool. On the rebound, she accepts her spineless boyfriend's proposal, but then comes to some sort of realization and goes off to profess her 'love' for her boss. What kind of love is this? Is it love because it is based off of mutual need? Or is it love because it benefits both parties? On this point, the film's message is unclear; this is most likely the case in order to emphasize the audience's questioning into the nature oflove. Indeed, the grotesque nature of the relationship between Lee Holloway and her boss causes one to question whether it can be love, yet the audience is expected to accept it as so. I, for one, question whether it would be better for the two main characters to have shed their 'floatation devices' rather than to have decided to share them. Well performed and directed, this fihn was full of theme and symbolism, and, at times, clever innuendo. It is perhaps not its nudity or lewdness (which the movie possessed only mildly) that shocks viewers or causes some to label the movie as 'sick' or 'inappropriate,' but ratal.:ter its i.11sinuation that love can exist in t..11.e kind of relationship that belonged to Lee Holloway and E. Edward Grey. For ultimately, Secretary causes one to think about love, and whether the two main characters were genuinely in love, and what it takes to actually 'be in love.' �Stop Taking Yourself So [Naughty Word] Seriously: Let Me Make Myself Perfectly Clear ... by Sean Valles Staff Writer Now that Mr. Harrell has decided to make public his distaste for my ... vocabulary (and presumably that of J.A.M., possibly among others) and has made clear why it makes him feel so "disappointed," I now feel better equipped to counter the clever left hook ~e has thrown at my logos. This column will be somewhat longer than I plan to usually make it, but this is more personal a matter than a political debate. Before I begin I will admit that I remain truly confused by the accusation that I have learned nothing from The Program. Yes, I do see the intense irony of me being confused by the accusation of mental inadequacy while I am actually writing a defense against that charge. However, I am truly perplexed at Mr. Harrell's particular charge that I (we all know he was talking about me), "show nothing of [the program] books in how [1] sound." Really? Should I be more graphic in my language? I don't know if anybody else has been keeping track of this, but damn do we read some obscene books here. I have never read and will probably never read plays more obscene than those of Aristophanes. Honestly, I sometimes use (among other similar ones) a generic word with vague sexual connotations. Aristophanes provides us with the only recorded use of the Greek word for "penetrating oneself in the rectum with a radish." Jesus, I've called a lot of people a lot of things, but I've never called someone a radish-inclined ass masturbator. But aside from the illustrious Aristophanes there are other potty-mouthed program authors. Even Shakespeare turned quite a few phrases I wouldn't direct at another human being Gust think Falstaff). And for those who have completed sophomore year, Rabelais' Gargantua is too easy a point to even require discussion. While I wouldn't dare to think of myself as being remotely in the same verbal or literary league as those gentlemen, I do not see how their use of profanity is different in kind than mine. As Rabelais taught us, nothing drives home a point like embedding it into an anecdote about drowning folk~ ";_urine. Let us not kid ~urselves on this point; it is still profanity when revered authors use it. So, are these great men also demonstrating their defi~iencies when they use profanity? The fact that those authors use profanity in the context of fiction is no excuse. They are in no way lowered by their profanity. I do not wish to sing my own praises, but I have yet to hear a tutor tell me in a Don Rag that, alas, my ability to speak and write shows nothing of the knowledge contained in the books that we study. Is that because most of them have never heard me call someone an as*hole? I certainly hope not. That would be petty and ignorant. But hey, if my language, sense of humor, or attitude happens to bother Mr. Harrell or anybody else in the College Community, they are perfectly free to not to read my goddamn mother-f*cking piece of sh*t obscenity-laden column. Quite frankly I won't be losing any sleep over a few "disappointed readers." But honestly, it's pretty easy to tell from the title that the content of my article will not fall within the bounds of purely G-rated banter. I could be writing the Gadfly's lecture reviews and such, but I'm not. I'm writing this column, my column. What's more, I am perfectly capable of using less inflammatory language Gust ask my grandmother), but when push comes to shove (it has) I will not suffer the pretentious vapidity of a student newspaper whose only use of the full range of modern colloquial language is entirely segregated to the hilarious contributions of the SJC Jewish Dynamic Duo. Are we not a group of college students, as well as a group of scholars? This isn't Energeia or The St. John's Review. This newspaper should at least be allowed to reflect the full range of campus life, and that life includes the word "f*ck". Johnnies do fuck and say, "f*ck" all the time. Welcome to our world. Here's the gist of it: this is a newspaper written, managed, and read by a collection of people that primarily (undergrads are the majority population) consists of those who are under 25 (no offense, Colten). So do not be surprised when some of us youngsters occasionally remember that we are not in 400 B.C. Athens, 17th century Western Europe, or any place and time other than 2004, Annapolis, Maryland. And you know what, when it comes down to it, most of us are still drunk-ass horny young people just looking for a little truth. Exceptions to that generalization abound, but I'm sure Utter will let them have their very own columns too. And yes, I've heard the objection, I do not use this language in seminar, but this is not seminar, this is a completely free forum, it is not bounded by our standard academic formal decorum. I also know that I cannot keep doing this when I enter academia (or get a real job), but that is then and this is now. So to all you player-hating snobs who would have me or us as a student body wholy deny our valid opinions, freedom of expression, or our youth and it's wonderful (read: hedonistic and/ or irreverent) fringe benefits at all times (barring the barely tolerated event of Reality): Stop taking yourselves so f*cking seriously! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �I May Not Like Your Crappy Opinion, But I'll Defend Its Importance to Our Education by Stacey Goguen I would first like to say, if I were a participating member of Melee club, I would ~~d that I would "defend to the death" as Voltaire once eloquently stated. However, I do not have the physical force or fighting skills* to back up that quote, so I shall leave it at verbal and moral support. *(unless it's against Mike L, because he's a wimp.) Now, what am I supporting? In the last issue of The Gadfly, the article On Michael Moore, Farehheit 9/11 and 'Your Crappy Opinions' concluded about certain sentimental political appeals (such as some of Michael Moore's) that: "... this form of "poetry" should be frowned upon in the republic that is St. John's. It is the lowest form of the ephemeral political things that corrupt the mind and perpetuate the sense of crisis and urgency so prevalent in our culture and which are so hostile to real thinking." and "Political campaigns are as foreign to St.John's as politically correct course studies, and they should be. So please, keep your crappy political opinions to yourself." I would like to say that if St. John's is a republic, I would hope that it is one in which all types of speech and opinion (political, crappy, or otherwise) are encouraged and supported. Whether or not unresearched, fanatical rantings should be in a newspaper whose goal is "to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit" is another issue. (For clarification, I am not insinuating that there have been unresearched, fanatical rantings thus far, but I have seen some articles with unresearched parts, some with fanatical opinions, and some which borders on ranting.) I do, however, support those writers' right to write those articles, and then submit them to the newspaper: If the staff of the 10 Gadfly chooses to publish them, then I see it as good as Ometecuhtli's own will. Also, I do not see why 'crappy' political opinions or sentimental propaganda should __ be shunned or detested, as if they are detrimental to the type of thinking St. John's tries to foster in its students and tutors. If illogical, unsupported opinions or sentiments are presented, I hope that even a freshman can see them for what they are, will escape uncorrupted, and will even try to correct the offending argument. If they are corrupted by such a feeble argument, I propose that those persons are in serious need of much more education, and should not be allowed to watch T.V. or read the newspaper, ever. Furthermore, isn't a part of the St. John's education to learn how to take away knowledge and understanding from anything, even opinions we consider inferior or illogical? For if 'crappy' opinions are never expressed, how can they be corrected? In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that every type of opinion and argument should be welcomed at St. John's. Of course, if said opinions and arguments are flawed, discriminatory, politically incorrect, con!etp.po~ary, passionat~, and/ or illogical, they should be discussed, beaten against the floorboards, and discussed further, just as any sane, logical, timeless debate is treated here. So I say to you, share your 'crappy' opinions with us; talk about 'degrading' politics that most people will forget in four years; its as worthy a discussion as any. Post Argument, I found it interesting that alongside the writer's talk of inferior conversations and arguments, the same article uses an argumentative fallacy by stating "[.Moore] is a big, fat, perhaps even disgusting man, repulsive to look at, and obnoxious to hear speaking," while six pages back the folks at Jews' Clues gave the example of an ad hominem attack being "calling you fat and ugly, you overweight, hideous [expletive deleted]." . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �One dark night, sleazy private eye Mike Hammer picks up a girl on the highway, wearing only a trench coat. Soon his car is run off the road; while he's semiconscious, the girl is tortured to death .. Telling the police nothing, Hammer pursues the killers himself despite threats, bribes, and bombs. He encounters strange clues, a stranger young lady, and at last an extremely deadly secret. . 11 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . : . . . �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Notes by Leo Pickens Athletic Director Now this Kunai makes goal keeping look like pure fun. Talking about the frosh Miss Aines, whose great goalkeeping helped her team, the Gecko-Forms combine, win another close contest this past Friday in the women's soccer league. Can this woman punt a soccer ball or what? And lvfiss Aines is versatile as well, showing she can run the field with the best of them in second half. For her great all around game, Miss Aines is named Athlete of Week for the women. You Make the Call "In order to understand competitive rowing, your first had to understand pain." From The Red Rose Crew, by Dan Boyne The freshman bonus baby Mr. Magram is omnipresent, sportswise. Not only is he a stalwart Druid, hustling for maroon in both football and soccer, but he is also a stalwart first thing in the morning, bringing his enthusiasm to bear for the crew team. Mr. Magram also is willing to take on the thankless tasks, like coxing (his crew won the tie race this past Friday morning) and playing goal keeper in soccer. For his unselfish play on both land and water, Mr. Magram is named Athlete of the Week for the men . Last week's puzzler drew a flurry of phone calls. Many thanks to all who phoned in their response. The first one to me with the correct call was Miss Cate. Profanity uttered to no one in particular is to be cautioned by showing the yellow card. And now for this week's question. Again, in soccer, standing on his or her own goal line, the goalkeeper catches the ball, and in attempting to throw the ball, carries the ball over the goal line. What is the ruling? First one to me with the right call goes to the bookstore on me. You can leave your answer on my voice mail, x2558. Annapolis Businesses Advertise with the Gadffy and reach hundreds of St Johns studem Please contact St. Johns College, Annapolis 1 or call 410-263-2371 ext. 12 arents DATE DUE Dishpit continued from front page visor. "It used to be that we had no dress code except for having to wear shoes, but there is a new rule about needing to wear black pants and no shorts or anything. That came as a bit of a shock to us when we found out about that." In addition to the new dress code, some workers are upset about the new regulation concerning music in the dish pit and kitchen areas. "Last year we had a stereo that we could listen to while on the job," explained one second-year employee. "But now we aren't even allowed to have that. The work gets so boring without any kind of distraction. It's much less tolerable than it used to be." On top of these two complaints is the semi-universal complaint about the rule concerning the inside and outside doors. "\Ve get back this year and find out that all of the doors need to be kept closed at all times," lamented a second-year supervisor. "On one hand it makes sense, because you don't want anything to get into the food, however, it gets unbearably hot down there. There isn't a fan or anything. I got off of a shift last week just covered in sweat. I really don't know how freshmen are going to be able to stand it." And speaking of freshmen, this supervisor wonders how the dishpit is going to keep up without more of them. "We don't know why, but we don' t have enough people in the dishpit. There were plenty of people at the first meeting, but since then we haven't had enough. It seems like a lot of them just aren't showing up or something." In defense of the freshmen employees, and the new dining hall regulations, one new worker doesn't understand why everyone is getting so upset. He only has this advice for other employees: "I don't really have any bad things to say, but I don't really have any good things to say, either. Washing dishes is the same everywhere. At least we are learning a kind of skill." We guess employees, and anyone else who is interested in the situation, will just have to wait and see what staff members have to say about these changes in next week's issue. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . .. . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 4 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2004-09-21 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 4 of The Gadfly. Published September 21, 2004. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.4 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/fe7a486d8177732683c7bec72e27c95b.pdf 790a51ae43e413ea9cd4762f7b8abc46 PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRA.RY THE 11111111111111110011m11111mim1111111111111 .... V""G- AD F LY Annapolis, Maryland The St. John} College Student Week{y Volume XXVI, Issue 5 September 2 8, 2004 Gates Frazzled, Neurotic After Publication of Off-Color Parody Part 2: Management Speaks Out About the Dishpit by Matt Gates by Cathy Keene Business Manager (Editorial Note: Last week, we ran an article devoted to student complaints about the dishpit. After having spoken to Parkhurst~ new general manager, lVIr. Roosevelt Langley, about the changes that he has implemented in the dishpit/kitchen area, I was able to gather enough information to put together the other side of the story. Here is the much-awaited second ha!f of the dishpit scoop.) Admitting that he had read the student complaints in last week's Gadf!J, Mr. Langley said he had expected some objection when he set down the new rules; however, he feels they are simply necessary for a healthy work environment. The great distinction between students and regular employees in the kitchen area was becoming a problem, and he didn't think it was professional to have different expectations for the two groups of workers. "I am looking to apply the same standards all-around," 11r. Langley explained. "\Xlhen the same thing is required of both students and other employees, how can you let the students get away with not showing up for work and still reprimand the other employees? Right now, I am trying to bridge the gap between both groups; these changes are impacting everyone, not just the students." .\s for the changes themselves, ~fr. Langley feels his expectations are not too outrageous. His rules about dress and keeping the doors closed are standard procedure for any food service. He says he is primarily interested in regaining order in the kitchen area and making sure everyone stays safe. "I don't want the students wearing opentoed shoes or tank tops or shorts or anything because I don't want anyone to get hurt. We have wet floors and machinery down here, and if students aren't careful, they could trip or seriously injure themselves. I did remove the radios from the kitchen and upstairs, but that was because it got so loud, no one could hear anyone talk. I also asked students to give me specific times when they could work so that I could make up a master schedule, but I think all the Management continued on page 9 "I fully appreciate the irony of my situarion;' claimed St. john's ser1ior Matt wtes, while sipping a dark, bilious happy-hour brew beneath a verdant arbor on the heated patio of the Ramshead Tavern. '1viy irrational avoidance of Mrs. Buchenauer over the last few days is simply too fitting a result for an article which mocks my social awkwardness by translating it into an academic setting." "Who the sexually-derisive-expletive are you even talking to?" Inquired the attractive, although slightly to' up waitress who, for some reason, reminded Gates of a drunken episode involving James Harrison and a Mormon Temple. "Surely not the youthful, possibly more awkward, spandex-clad projection of yourself sitting across the table?" 'Tm just too predictable to do anything else," said an oblivious Gates, producing a rusted canister of motor oil from his pocket, unscrewing the cap and ifu1ialing a long draught. "I've been avoiding t..11.e coffee shop during school hours, showing up to seminar at 8:05 and not leaving until 10:30. I've even stopped using the bathroom closest to her office. Look at me, I'm drinking before seminar," chortled Gates, laughing so hard at his own joke that flecks of German sausage flew across the table. "Do you realize how many people have asked whether that article is actually true?" Frazzled continued on page 9 �'TH ~-G.ADFLY Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein A&E Editor Julie Ja.nicki Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Christopher Bartos Aaron Brager Nick Colten Matt Gates Erikk M. Geannikis Daniel Harrell J.A.M. Willis McCumber Leo Pickens N ataiie Rinn Jerry Salyer Ben Strickland Judith Seeger Sean Valles Sarah Wilson Founded in 1980, the Gadf(y is the student weekly dist.<ibuted free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of t.'1e Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadf!y staff. The Gadf!y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadf!J is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail subrr..issions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. GadjlJ Mailbox Film 5 ociety Thr:.ft Dear Gadfly, In the past week, someone broke into the projection room and stole a lockbox containing around $400 in cash. Ifyou see a stray metal box \vi.th cash in it, please inform me or Lt. Boston in the Security Office. On a lighter note, for the first time in history, the St. John's College Film Society has teamed up with the Alumni Association. We are proud to present, with this year's theme of The Ocfyssry, the Coen Brothers' 0 BROIBER, WHERE ART THOU? starring George Clooney (The Thin Red Line), John Turturro (The Big Lebowskt), and Tim Blake Nelson (Scoo!ry Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed). I could teach you but I have to charge. Aaron Brager Archon, SJC Film Society A 5till Disappointed Reader Dear Gadfly, I continue to find items in your newspaper that have all the purpose and discernment of something scratched in the door of a bathroom stall. Why any of us would choose to be nothing but ourselves in speech, when the English language gives us the power to be so much more, I guess I'll never know. Sincerely, Daniel Harrell I've also been told that some who are not on a meal plan are sneaking in to the dining hall for purposes of eating food they have not paid for. Could this be true? Surely the injustice of such action is evident. If you are doing so or facilitating it, please stop. Please don't make us lower the tone of your dining experience by stationing a security officer at the patio door. Thank you, Judith Seeger Table Te~ Reasons Not to Date Saten.; .. ;; ... ..4 ITap I I. r !Wh. y ef .Contents d . ·. d R o we o . :r .· J ~1 >' eVJews. ···;-.:···...............,....... .:. I ¥· De.dly.·.........,•.. ............,.,_, .·'······'-51 IRealityPre-Planning. ...'. .............................. I . > . . ·.••. .. 6.l :>. ..1 ..•. .1 !Concert Review. .... ,......................... ,..............6 j ' .. ·. ·· ~ . True Symbol of a Cymbal....................... ;81 lr.2.,."'/,,,;,. n~ui;;,. . . .sl". . . . ,...• Return Dining Hall Items Dear Members of the Polity, I know at least some of you have shared my experience of arriving at Cafe Randall oPJy to discover that there were no trays or plastic cups. Mr. Langley tells me that these items as well as plates and utensils have been going missing at a great rate. Some of them have been fofu'ld by B & G and returned. Many others have not. Please, those of you who have removed items from the dining hall, stop doing so and return those you have sequestered. Their loss causes great frustration for everyone, a.nd the expense of replacing them has to be passed on to all. SCJlV.f.in1Ufi!S .... ,. ................................~ ........... 9 ,., :·. ' I J Stop Talcing Yoi.:r_seJj' so Seriously.••••••• ,......................................."' .....10 t Gadfly Funny .·. . < .·......· . Pap~.ts..•....., ...••..•..,:··· ..'········••···················•·•11 j l I Kuvai:.Fraya Tho~Eson'~Failu~:.ofth.e> Fake .,.•••,...........................~·············.•:·:··········121 .1/1 i '--~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! 2 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Vulgarity, Hedonism: Little Lambs, Lost, in the Secret Parts of Fortune by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer - I am not offended by excessive reliance on vulgarity, any more than I am offended by the repetitive use of words like Freedom, Democracy,Diversity; by Republicratic demagogues ~tself a repetitive ten:n,I confess.) Rather than finding these symptoms of modernity offensive, I merely find them tiresome. Using graphic or suggestive language is like using firearms: The community lauds a man who employs such things with discretion and judgement, at the right time and place; and may forgive---ifnot condone--theman who employs themin theheat of just passion; but it looks downright askance at the man who insists on employing them at the slightest provocation, or to attract attention. Reg-arding hedonism: the widespread embrace ofcrudehedonismoncollegecampusesisnot''highspirits:' it is a misdirection of youthful energy, of energy that has no healthier channels available in our society's Cromwell vs. Caligula binary-psyche, ofasocietywhichhasonlytritewitticismstoofferto the sublime and pompous piety toward the absurd. Hedonism is only one of many signs of a culture endowed with the sense-of-balance of a schizophrenic cocaine-addict Half the time our problem is we do not take ourselves seriously enough-and as for the other half; it is unlikely anyone in that state will acknowledge the admonishment offered by the title of :Mr. Valles' coh.unn, including :Mr. Valles himsel£ In either case, naughtiness only has value insomuch as it possesses daring; in a society where "anything goes," more subtle and meaningful mischievousness loses its zest the cocaine-addict can no longer geta kick from champagne. I finditironicthatVailes'slastarticlewasentirely devotedtoprovingthecolumnistparricipatesinthe Platonic Fonn of')ohnnie," in the noble tradition of Aristophanes, and Shakespeare. The phrase "drunk-ass homyyoungpeople just looking for a little truth" has a certain "Talkin'-bout- ~ki~ .. :·o.1"R_-· Wit_~~ ... ~ ac~~ ·:·-,\\ \~,\-~( bt ·-· -· · ~.\. ~A t;:;f~·-fr 16-:Jd_t.~-:­ °" /ow, 't(;-\"f'.I\. -- 'Ke~ f -d:~ ~re : tot 'S 11~A ~\:_, vJ,,_;;~ ~-f~~ a l'fW _-kak ca\\J !'\~~\ S.~~l'~J t)A I ~~~h,11 rit.l:t(, ,t w~\ k:. ~ve;\ ~r.fl.._ "'~\~\!';) \\'.lf\ o\J{ ~~{\ 5-" <i~ I ,l- o~H ~ <\]_5.C, -1 My:~Generaftop" ~wannabe ring to it. l\fr. Valles, in an:other quote_: "all you player-hating snobs who would have me or us as a student body wholly deny our valid opinions, freedom of expression, or our youth and its wonderful (read: hedonistic and/ or irreverent) fringe benefits" implies that the ''hedonism/irreverence" (read: treating sexuality-as-trade-commodity; vomiting on somebody's carpet, and talking as if in a trailerpark, ghetto, or junior-high playground) of modem college campuses is a sacred cow, moo-ing a messageofcarpediem-vitalityandlibertyatusfrom some timeless Elysian pasture where Dead Poets tend herd, that students must stand their ground against those from Squaresville who seek to suppress life-eneigy. But as 1\fr. Valles points out, our particular dot in the space-time continuum is Annapolis,2004-itisnotlocatedin the Vtctorian.Eta, norEisenhower'sAmerica,and the great challenge of our age is not one of overcoming inculcated inhibitions-I can safely say that very fewJohnnies or Grs are afflicted with too much decorum and propriety. And even among those who are uptight and joyless, I very much doubt genuine propriety is the real reason. The reason Italian society is vibrant and celebratory, and does not employ idiotic, oppressive under-age alcohol policies is mainly due to the fact that Italian teenagers learn how to treat alcohol with respect, and are not dumb enough to get blind-drunk and fall off balconies, breaking their stupid necks. (Or, I concede, this may be a chicken-and-the-egg relation in which it is difficult to say which is cause, which is effect; but either way, columnists composing poignant diatribes about the cultural value of Roman orgies and dirty limericks have nothing to do with it.) Perhaps Mr. Valles thinks that by defensive, fierce rebuttals of those who question the goodtaste of splattering obscenities like hailstones in a public forum, he is avatar of a deified-Rabelais, a defender of freedom of expression. While I reject the preceding sentiments, I must admit contemplating them gave me greater appreciation forthe accuracy of 1\fr. Valles' columnor at least its title. In this case, at least, his trademark phrase-the uncensored version-has swirled through the air, and struck the kangaroo right smack upon the head. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Top Ten Reasons not to Date Satan by Sarah Wilson Staff Writer From the night sophomore essay topics were due to the night the essay itselfleft my hands, I was involved in a very intense relation;hip -~ith Satan, the Devil, Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness or whatever you want to call him. Just don't call him Lucy. That bothers him. Anyway, we were together constantly. I thought about him day and night. I dreamt about him and drew pictures of him and wrote poetry about him. When the relationship neared its end, I stopped eating and sleeping because I was so worried about and by him. Realizing this, I decided the relationship was destructive and I realized how little I knew him. He was like totally hot (especially in those free-rebellion yearbook pictures) and tortured and poetic and mysterious and whatever, but dating him just presented too many problems, so we broke up. I've decided to warn others who might be taken in by the charms of his downsides. As always, this is something of a joke. 1. When you go out to eat and he recommends an entree, you get nervous. Picture this: you and Satan are at a restaurant he has selected. He suggests the duck. "The duck is most delicious. It smells good, looks good, tastes good, and look at me. I had it last time and haven't died." Then, he smiles innocently, but you can't get out o f your mind what happened the first time he recommended a particular food to people. And when he tells you you're beautiful, does he have an agenda? Didn't he tell Eve the exact same thing? 4 2. He doesn't return phone calls. He says he was too busy chewing up sinners, crying bloody tears, and tempting the virtuous to talk, but you can't help worrying he was off philandering with Sin. 3. Speaking-ofwhich, that whole situation with Sin and Death is a bit creepy. I mean, Sin's his daughter and Death is Satan and Sin's daughter. What a dysfunctional group. You begin to wonder if you really want to get involved in all of that. 4. It's hard to hang out with him and just watch a film or whatever because the couch keeps bursting into flames. 5. Some of his friends, like Moloch for instance, are just plain obnoxious. You feel uncomfortable when they are around. He's a completely different creature around them. And, come to think of it, he's always a bit of a shape shifter. You never know if he's really listening to you or not. 7. Visiting him at his place is kinda difficult. This makes getting from Brooklyn to the Bronx or from Annapolis to D.C. on a Saturday-without a car look simple. Virgil got all mad at me because he kept having to escort me down to Satan and no amount of gushing about the Aeneid could soften him . And those demons made fun of me and kept clawing at me. Also, for a guy, Satan isn't a bad interior decorator, but he does have a passion for gloomy, thematic design schemes which can get depressing. And it's always either really cold or really hot at his place. He never did get that radiator fixed, despite your urging. 8. Whenever he comes to visit you at your place, legions of good angels loiter about suspiciously. They're cute and all, but you don't really like how they're peering in the windows and whatnot. Besides, their presence weirds out the neighbors. 9. He's not really the type of guy you can bring home to Mom, even if your Mom is an easy-going and tolerant ex-hippie. He makes her feel uneasy and she's worried he's just after your soul. "You know that Bob Dylan lyric, 'I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul'? Just think about it," she says. Whether he will be a Cherub or a serpent changes from day to day. 6. Sometimes when you're talking, he just stares off into space with a vacant expression, flapping his wings and chewing. 10. Beneath the sensitive, weepy exterior, he's kind of a self obsessed jerk, just like all the other pretty, weepy indie rock boys. So what if he has written a lovely acoustic album that's ostensibly about you? It's really all about him. He wants to buck the system, but ultimately ends up furthering the system if you ask me, just like all the other pretty, politically active boys. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Why do \Ve do Reviews? by Nick Colten Staff Writer "\lt.li.ough there were many articles in last week's Gadf!y that I ·wish to respond to, I'll restrict myself to just one. I had hoped to write on .Mr. Petei;son's Your Crappy Opinions as well, but I will save it till next week. I am somewhat hesitant to critique j\fr. Bartos, as I don't wish to drive him away from writing for the Gadf!y, but there were several points in his article that I found problematic. The most general question I had was why he wrote a review of the All College Seminar. This question is similar to the one that .i\fr. Harrell asked years ago, ''W'hat's the point of a lecture review?" I am not opposed to students writing about Friday Night Lecture or the All College Seminar (I had actually planned to write somethL11.g about the latter myself), but if they do, it ought not to be a recap, but something original. For insta11ce, one could offer a critique of a lecture, making the case thatthe lecture on Klein, Husserl, Derrida, etc. was probably off-putting to many students, as it seemed to require familiarity with authors not read by most of the community. The "movie review'' format of most Gadf!y lecture reviews, on the other hand, siniply summarizes a lecturer's argument and says pleasant things about him or her; all of which is of limited value. Students ought to go to lecture if they are able; ifthey can't make it, they are better off obtaining a copy of the lecture from the Long Weekend The B W1 Shuttle schedule far Long Weekend (October 7th_11th) is as follows: Departure: Friday, October 86 lecturer, library, or bookstore, and not readi..<J.g about it in the Gadf!y. The same is true of the }Jl College Seminar. "'\ll students are familianv:ith seminar, and most are familiar with at least the form of the "\11 College Seminar even if they have not attended one. It's true that freshman may be ignorant of them, but if they ask any upperclassma.<J., they can quickly become informed. The "'\ll College Seminar then, needs a recap about as much as a regular Seminar does. I would also dispute the success of the "\11 College Serninar. Tne individual seminars may have gone quite well (mine certainly did); but judging by size of attendance, the event was disappointing. It seemed as though less than a quarter of the student body attended and only about a half dozen members of the faculty-far less of each group than attend any lecture. I agree with Mr. Bartos that the "'\ll College Seminar provides a good opportunity to meet and discuss things with a more diverse bunch than is otherwise possible, and strongly encourage people to attend the Spring All College Seminar. I would even suggest t.i-iat we in Iinnapolis consider adopting the method that Santa Fe uses for their Community Seminar: instead of displacing a lecture, they preempt Wednesday afternoon of tutorials, and require attenda..11ce just like a regular seminar. This obviously results in a far greater attendance, and is something that the Dean and the SCI wight wish to discuss. Lastly, there was also a small factual error in the piece: Virginia Woolf was English not i\rnerican. I<iss Me • Deadly by Willis A-!cCumber Staff Writer Unless you're some sort of swimming won. der monkey, almost everything about Kiss me . Dead!J was bad - even the pre-show comedy routine. j\ny good mabelite would have been delighted by the incomprehensible plot and overabundance of pantingly loose women not to mention an atomic, fire-breathing, • wooden box (boom-baba-boom, we kid you . not) - but for the rest of us, the film was a lamentable waste of three precious dollars. However, as an upside, this trashy fiL.""11 noir • does give us the always welcome chance to quote . Calvin: "The dame's scream hit an octave usually reserved for calling dogs, but it meant I had a . case, a..n.d the sound of greenbacks slapping across my palm is music to my ears any day. After all, I'm not an opera critic. I'm a private eye." "'\s fate would have it, the private detective in Kiss me Deadjy is not an opera critic either. At one point, to intimidate an amateur opera singer, he breaks The Marriage ef Figaro (well, not actually, but dose enough) in half, thus soiling himself for all time in the eyes of11rs. [name oflecturer]. . Bluntly, tf...is film should never have gotten any furtherthanFridaynightin Campbell basement, especially since there are excellent film noir's out there, such as Orson Wells' A Touch ef Evil. Please, l'vlr. St. John's Film Society, your prank, while stupid, also sucked. A1111apolis·. ·Businesses Advertise with the Gadfly ~nir~ac~ > .. · . . . .1 h~4re~ ef ~t]ohn~ stude11ts,:~o:s, f11':"fnil]1zd parents I 6:00 AJ\i, 8:00 AJ\f, and 11 :00 AM I I Pick:up: Monday, October 11th 1:00 PM, 3:00 PM, and 5:00 PM Space is limited. Please reserve a seat by signing up in the blue binder in the Asst. Dean's Office or call410-263-2371 ext. 2212 (the Gadfly Office) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Concert Review Reality Pre-Planning Promises an-Active-¥ear-~ by Christopher Bartos Staff Writer by Julie Janicki Arts and Entertainment Editor Demonstrating an admirable tendency towards pre-planning, and a willingness to work with members of the polity, Reality archons J.P. Mcintyte and Elizabeth Scott invited the junior class to the boathouse last Saturday to discuss upcoming Reality events for the 2004-2005 school year. _ Approximately twenty people attended the meeting, which lasted over an hour and a half and covered upcoming parties such as Oktoberfest, Meat Market, and Halloween. Additional party themes were also suggested (including a Super-Hero / Super-Villain party) and will be considered for either later on this semester or second semester. Most who were at the meeting showed an interest in acting as archons for particular activities (cooking, games, music, etc.), and the general feeling was both relaxed and inspired. The meeting also focused on fund-raising events. Reality is considering sponsoring a program where students will pay for juniors to perform small errands, such as driving to the store, washing laundry, or cleaning rooms. More details on these services will become available once Reality finishes networking the students. Those interested in helping to plan or run events should contactJ.P. Mclntyte or Elizabeth Scott through campus mail. Maryland R.enaissance Festival Saturdqy, Oct. 23rd Contact Nina Carrieri, SRA in Campus Mail ASAP to indicate interest. Tickets will cost $8.00 and will be sold in the cojfeeshop about a week before the event. 6 · Friday night the Francis Scott Key auditorium was full ofJ ohnnies, tutors and townies in anticipation of wh_ t proved to be a fine a night of classical music. Soon, the room scintillated with the sweet sounds ofDanielpour, Debussy and Brahms emanating from the stage as those who came sat in silent contentment. The American Sting Quartet, one of our nation's most distinguished string groups, played a selection of two quartet pieces a~d one viola quintet for the polity and the public. The first, a quartet by Richard Danielpour, was interestingly modem. It was refreshing to hear a piece written by someone who has yet to die. The piece would not have immediately grabbed just any person's attention. Danielpour uses some very intrepid intervals for harmony that would tum off most listeners. The piece as a whole was supposed to represent the "shadow aspects of personality;" each movement embodying a different part of a human. The third movement of this work was the most moving of all. The composer entitled it "My Father's Song" and wrote it while remembering his father soon after his death. This movement benefited most from his bold, modem intervals. Danielpour says, "The slow descending scale figures that repeat in the movement's coda are an evocation of the 'laying to rest' that occurs in bidding farewell to a loved one." The Quartet No. 2, Shadow Dances, is so musically fascinating because of his unique use of techniques like this. Thankfully, we had a quartet who has played and even premiered works by Danielpour, and they pulled off this difficult piece amazingly well. The second work was Quartet in G Minor, Op. 10 by Claude Debussy, who is considered the greatest of the impressionist composers. This piece had a motif that was prevalent throughout the entire piece in many differe~t forms or in different instruments. The motif was characterized by a quick flutter of notes in consecutive order with a "limited tessitura" . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (tessitura is the range of pitch). In this work the American String Quartet brought the entire audience to a silent high when they and the music floated off in the end of the second movement. By this point, no one questioned why the brochure touted the group as "one of the finest quartets" as each player combined · their more than thirty years of experience and Julliard background to do what music does best - transport us to the mind and world of the composer. The final work, however, was no doubt the best piece played all night. Here the Quartet was joined by Jonathan Carney, concertmaster of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra and brother of second violinist Laurie Carney, to play the second viola part of Brahms' Quintet in G Major, Op. 111. The extra violist, no doubt, added extra body to the piece, and this work seemed to fit the group perfectly, as they played it with great exuberance. The final movement, which is described as "fast but not too fast," had a youthful vigor that brought the piece to an amazing conclusion by means of strong cross rhythm and broad intervals. 'When the American finished, there was a standing ovation that took the group four full bows to quell. The artists met in the Fishbowl for a meet and greet after the concert was finished. I had the pleasure of talking with Ms. Camey and Mr. Winograd, the second and first violinists respectively. Ms. Camey was particularly pleased with how many young people came: "We've played at other campuses before and never have we gotten this many young adults. Most of the time the audience is on average seventy years old - and you know they enjoy it, but you have to wonder about future fans." Now that they know true music lovers are not hard to find at St. John's, they might grace us with their wonderful music sometime in the future. �. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . . . 7 �The True Symbol of a Cymbal: A Symbol, or a Cymbal? by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer Ifyouarelikeme,youweretaughtatanearlyage to hate that lofty thing called ''litecitlire." Have you everwondered why? Part of the antipathy was, no doubt., for the same reason that teenagers once preferred (so I am told) to sneak out at night with Natty-Light sixpacks, throw a G'n'R tape into the deck, and knock over mailboxes, rather than sit around a hearth sipping a snifter of Bushmill's and chatting serenely with friends---ie., they had immature tastes. That immaturity makes Captain America seem greater than.Achilles, to an adolescent boy: CaptainAmerica'.5 shield is rendered in bright simple colors, while both Homer and Hephestus exen:ise their crafts with subtlety inaccessible to eyes not yet sharpened by development Friends ofliterature and mirth hope thoseeyes and tastes will receive rultivation---s boys can one day move beyond cheap beer and on to good whiskey, so minds nursed on battles against the vile Red Skull can move on to windswept Troy. (NottodisrespectJackKll:by,orNaturallight Both have their virtues.) Yet I am convinced that immaturity is only part of the matter. The greatest cause for youth's disdain toward the greatest stories of l'vfan lies in how those stories are presented v:ia Modern ''Education." Comic books, adventure stories, and sci-fiaremostlyprotected, through their obscurity, from the perverse glare of literary criticism. Whatever flaws they may have, theyare at least permitted to be thought of as stories. They are not warped into tedious, dry puzzle-exercises for those seeking slots among the elite Educated. Acconlingto the Educated, everything from the OdysseytoLaMorted'Arthurto Silas Mamer must not be approached as a tal~otin the manner in which an open, relaxed, thoughtful moviegoer sits down with popcorn and milk-duds to see what happened long, long ago in a galaxy, far, far awaybutratheras Cold War spooks feverishly approached binary transmissions intercepted from Communist embassies. "Must decrypt ASAP.'' Where the Educated sees, primarily, phaBic symbols, orchivalricimagery-translated-into-American-technology, oran Olympic-flame-tumed-snickersnee, the moviegoer sees, primarily, an object that possesses being, in Lucas' alternate reality-a ''lightsaber." From that real object, the moviegoer may say: '1\n elegant weapon, fora more civilized age." Itis true that metaphors and symbolism are the essence of storytelling--when one looks at a page and sees thelettersN-E-M-0, one does not see an actual submarine-skipper; rather, we see four letters. ItiS through ]\fan's capacity for pattern-recognition thathemaydrawneartothefictionalcharacterthat those letters signify. But this aspiration toward intimacy, this looking for a key, is not how the enlightened literati treat symbolism; for they do not want to draw near, but ratherwish to keep their distance:withregatd to any given work ofliterature, the Educated desire to sit upon the throne of the Deists' detached, all-knowing Supreme Being: Aside from the absurdity of thispride,andtheimpracticalityofthe"decryption'' approach-as fruitful as usingaL'il-Olphan-Anniedecoder-ringon theRossettaStone-modernliterary criticism provokes a fratemalresentment on behalf of all writers, be they insplred geniuses buried in Naples centuries ago, or today's half-baked hacks haunting bourgeois East Coast tourist-McTowns. Gifted orno, all storytellers strive to present worlds to be entered, not Sunday paper crossword game. But the deconstructiveivorytowermindset betrays a profound contempt for the storyteller qua storyteller; contempt no different., really, from common rudeness. Itis like questioning a man's word for no reason-or interrupting him, when he speaks. I am convinced that ifamuse showed up at any major university's English department and sang out ''Onceupona time, in acave, therelivedaclnigon... " she would instantly be cutoffby one ofthe professors: ·~... by 'dragon' you mean, perliaps, the ravening forces ofwar that are abroad in the world? Or-QS 'clnigon-myths' are affiliated with patriarchal societies-peihaps you refer to the ever-dangerous, ever-banished essence of the Feminine? Or perhaps you refer to the Death-W:ish?'' To which the muse would reply (assuming her to bemuchmorepatientand tolerantthanmyselJ): ''No, actually, by'drngon' I mean 'a giant., bat-winged reptile that blows fire from its nostrils.' " Come now, 0 Muse, do you really intend to waste our time with mere dragons? But ofcourse such interruptions are not limited to fantasy, and they may come from anyworld-view Is characterX 'Gtace'? Is characterY'the-man-mledby-passion'? Is character Z ' the oppressed proletariat'? Perhaps when trying to discern what meaning Howsfromacharacterweshouldkeepinmind,as focal point., who the character is. Maybe , first and foremost., characterXis character:X, and characterY is character Y, and character Z is character Z ... do you really think of'; say, your friends and family thisway,i.e.,oruyexistingas2-Dabstract-representational-ciphers-of-other-things? (I fear we do, at times.) Whenever you attempt to limit the characters inhabiting your life to label-names-"fatherfigure," "sidekick,'' "nemesis," "soul-mate''-then do you not find that your mesh oflabels often fails to coverall the reality? Ifyourworld constantly slips outside of categorizations, thenwhynotanauthor's? These issues are not merely scholarly-pensive, theyare~o, they are theprnctica1ityof practicality. l'vfan:rarelyrecogniz.es theiconicnatureofhis existence, and thus either misuses icons, or ignores them. The single-minded salaryman strives for a beautiful house-the emblem of domestic success-whileoverlookingthatheneverreallytalks to his wife, his son has grown up into a snotty lout., and his daughter, a silly whore. Yet this salary:man and WeEducatedhavemuchincommon. Because we need an interface with reality, we forget that the face we see does not equal reality. And as time passes the divergence between face and reality grows greater-QSwe grow to believe that the endless repetition of the mantra-of-universalbrotherhood somehow "equals" Brotherhood itself; that the (very conventional) fa<;acle of disdain for convention somehow "equals" OpenMindedness; that the image of a presidential candidate's hand-clutching a Bible somehow "equals" Christianity; that the image ofa shiny new strike-fighter rolling offa McDonnell-Douglass assembly-line "equals" Patriotism. But they do not., none of them: Donkeys do not equal Peace, Elephants do not equal Faith, War does not equal Freedom, Cynicism does not equal Sophistication. And Hedonism equals neither liberty, nor Pros- perity. French theologian/mystic Simone Weil coined the term metaxu to refer to those elements of culture/tradition/artthatallowman to bridge the gap between his own.isolated selfand the divine. Metaxu doesnotc:Onnotate"anecessaryevil,"butnorshould we worship themetaxuin and ofthemselves; rather we must always remember that there is a whole system: symbolicvalueflowingfromreality. Asymbolis a too~ a means to an end; like a kiss, it is good and true exactly to the extenttowhichitisinformed Symbol continued on page 10 8 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Frazzled continued from front page "I'm sure she thought it was funny;' asserted Gates' calculating, slick, motivated, and effective alter ego, who sometimes masquerades to the world as Lee Goldsmith. "She has a sense of humor. I really think there's nothing to worry about." ''The circumstances of my life are awkward enough without some fat Arab willfully making them more so;' sighed Gates, making a politically incorrect allusion to the dubious ethnicity of the author of the article that graced page two of last week's Gadfly. "I may be awkward, but at least I'm not a geyser of witty obscenities who boasts about how hot my girlfriend is," he continued, drumming mindlessly on the brim of his Red Sox hat. "'\.n uncomfortable silence descended over Gates as he realized that these redeeming, if purely negative qualities, were due solely to his lack of both social confidence and a girlfriend. "I will henceforth refer to Tom as Akbar," he resolved, standing up and ambling through the door and out onto the rubble-strewn expanse of West Street at sunset. ''What really yoinks my cheese about this whole situation is that I've finally crossed the border of self-parody, which Jordon Gannon crossed untold ages ago," Gates quipped, crossing himself nervously before pausing to huff some unknown chemical out of a nearby window-unit air conditioner. "Sand-crusted camel jockey;' he added, under his breath. Management continued from front page students who work in the offices or anywhere else on campus have to do the same. We have an exhaust fan down here to try to make the heat more bearable, but I've never been in a kitchen that wasn't hot. Overall, I think these are good changes that just needed to be made." Although these rules will take some getting used to, Mr. Langley is confident they will improve the general morale of the dining hall and prepare students for work environments outside St. John's. "I don't expect the students to understand this now," said Mr. Langley, "but working in the dishpit will help students in the future. This is giving them a professional view of food service, and teaching them work ethics and skills that they can take with them after they leave St. John's. These rules should give them a more involved idea of what it feels like to work for a real employer; you never know what skills you will be able to take with you." Minutes for the SCI Meeting September23,2004 Persons present: Nora Kellereh, SCI Chair, Miriam Keim, SQ Secretary, Erica Beall, So. Rep, Paul Wilford, So. Rep, Luke Jayalapan,Jr. Rep, Chris Utter, Jr. Rep, Erin Hughey-Commers, Sr. Rep, Josh Weinstein, Sr. Rep, Jilian Sico, Senior,JustinLanier, Senior Discussed "Notes on Dialogue" All members agreed to use this reading for the Seminar on Seminars. Planned the Seminar on Seminar All members agreed to have it take place on Wed., Oct. 5, at 7 :OOPM in McDowell Hall. Divided up responsibilities in the organization for the Seminar on Seminars. Discussed Events over the semester Student Tutor Potluck Tutor Forum Tutor-Student discussion on Music Lunch time forums Forum on profanity Discussed Sub-committees Members agreed to follow the format from last year, mainly small groups working on different topics Discussed having different Sub-committees for public events Discussed working closely with the Instruction Committee Discussed exploring Community Building The Political Forum is pleased to present: Mr. Steven Werlin (A.'85) WednesdC!J Sept. 291h 7:00 PM Mellon 106 Mr. Werlin will share with the community an account of two community programs that he has been involved with that are designed to help nurture democratic society in Haiti. There will be a short video, followed f?y conversation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �Stop Taking Yourself So Sucking Seriously: What!? by Sean Valles Staff Writer Cogency. It is a good thing. It's what separates acgood seininar diSCu:ssion" ffoni a freshman year Seminar discussion. It is also a wonderful part of journalism (or what passes for journalism in a student weekly). However, I feel thatJohn Peterson's article, YourCrappy Opinions: Part lllacks exactly that virtue. Even more troubling is the attitude toward the outside world that underlies his article. You see, it's not that I think that the article is somehow intellectually deficient - far from it. While I may diSagree with some of ML Peterson's more politically conservative opinions, that has nothing to do with my complaint against the article. My problem is that it is formulated as an intellectual argument (good), makes intellectual arguments (still good), but does so in the kind of completely incoherent stream-of-consciousness raving that makes students and tutors cringe when their peers deliver it in a classroom. To make the matter worse, l\1r. Peterson includes a diSclaimerinsisringthatheis aware of his writing's "wild and disorganized" tendencies, and Gokingly?) asserts that it operates on "some level of irony imperceptible even by [him]." Then why not f-ing proofread the thing? Saying that one's writing style is "wild and disorganized" but not doing anything to correct that problem is just lazy and/ or prideful. If I told l\fr. Tomarchio and l\1r. Salem that my Freshman Essay only sucked because "it's my style to suck," instead of saying that I just didn't try hard enough, I would have deserved a serious smack on the head (probably to be delivered my ML Tomarchio). Wtld and disorganized writing is a fault, not an intellectual or individualistic virtue ... unless you happen to be Hunter S. Thompson, in which case your kick-ass "gonzo" writing style can carry your lack of structure and lack of a thesis statement of any kind. However, my concerns about l\1r. Peterson's article are not only stylistic. While I think Mr. Peterson's second article is somehow about ''what is appropriate discourse at St. John's;' just as ML Peterson claimed regarding Part I, it is hard for me to confirm this when I actually read the thing. l\1r. Peterson can say his articles are about whatever he wants, but that doesn't change the fact that they spend most of their time railing about the evils of modem 10 politics and the mass media. What is really amusing is seeing l\1r. Peterson rave about the ignorance of unwavering support for an ideology while mere sentences later seeing him decry "the contemporary, pa~sionate,·fanatical, sewage that is reminiscent of children." Hey, does anyone else smell something? Why, I think it's the smell of sewage mixed with the smell of hypocrisy. Perhaps I should elaborate; Your Crappy Opinions is crap (the irony makes me smile every time I think of it). It's a two part tirade that is both about contemporary politics and an account of why the college is too good to even stand in the shadow of contemporary politics (What the f*ck's up with that little contradiction?). Itis also a piece of academic bigotry of the highest order. Do you think contemporary politics can't ever mix with St. John's and it's iiber-philosopers? Fine, sign yourself up for the Penna-Johnny seven year undergrad plan with its post graduate standard features: rooting through the dumpster behind Randall for food, making current students uncomfortable by hanging around the quad when you're 32 and unemployed, and being escorted off campus byseau:ityafter.Alumni Weekend has been over for several days (true story). I've said it before and I'll say it again: I f*cking hate this ivory tower, disdain for my fellow man, 'Socrates would understand me' kind of sh*t! Why? If you believe that crap: 1) It's people like you that make our degree worth crap to most of the world, 2) Your self-centered attitude is, at best, the moral equal to the attitude of the guy who steals your car for crack money, and 3) Socrates would think you're a tool too. I am embarrassed to even go to this school when I hear students claim that they are too good to even discuss things that affect all our lives a hell of a lot more than the equant does. ''It is not worth bringing the heated rhetoric of this [political] world into our quiet liberal arts college by the bay." Yeah, that's a great idea. Lord knows nothing but evil could come from mixing philosophy and politics. Why, thatwould form some sort of monstrosity, a ''Republic;' if you will. Wait ... never mind. Well, I'm sure the world of politics has no use for those who are too cool to vote anyhow. But my disgust for everything with which Mr. Peterson would defend our great school remains. Honestly, if I thought all or even most of my peers felt that much blind hatred and bigotry toward all that is THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . not St. John's I would drop out in two seconds. l\1r. Peterson, your callous and superficial hatred of all things that are not metaphysical makes me feel worse about the school I love. Stop taking yourself so f*cking seriolisly! -·-·· ·· Symbol continued from page 8 bylove. Theloveisthecentralessence,yetthecentrality ofthat essence Should cause us to have proper respect-rather than either contempt, oridolatryfor the kiss through which that essence is expressed. Back to story-telling. Here's a talefdlike to finish composing, and I could use your help: Three men stand on one side ofa river, eyeing a village festival that lies on the other side. There is a bridge that stretches across the river, to where the villagers are singing and dancing. Thefirstman,aPrngmatist,hastoomuch "common-sense," too much diSdain for forms and usages, to set foot on the bridge. Bridges are nothing in and ofthemselves, artifices, so who gives a damn about them? I'll have naught to do with it The second man is an Analyst andin his twisted way he adores forms and usages; forgetting the festival altogether, he takes a hammer and saw to the bridge, pilingits bones cleverly-veryclevedy, like animblefingered monkey-ID. the Tetrisian-Cartesian-grid graveyard ofhis own bleakintellect. But the third... as forthe third man, I knowitis preposterous to ask you to buy this, at face-value, in this enlightened day-and-age, I am not sure I can believe it mysel4 in a proposition more preposterous than useless nonsense about dragons and lightsabres and super-powered heroes rescuing cities from giant robots, more preposterous than atavistic tomfoolery about wisdom-goddesses or warriors protecting their fallen comrades' bodies from being gnawed by dogs. Yes, perhaps this third man is as preposterous and implausible as heroism, as loyalty, as love itself; but, by God, I am the storyteller, here, and I am neither defenseless, like blind, deadHomer,noramigenrlelikeawhisperingmuse, so any SOB will me themomentwhenhe corrects orinterruptsme as I saythatthethirdman bears the innocent, fresh heart ofa cbild I, the storyteller, say that the third man has not been turned into a label, a category, is not an "-ist" nor an abstraction, but is simply a man. Nothing more, nothing less. So, what then? �Ga4f/y Funny Papers by Ben Strickland ..,ND SO l'WONDER IF IT'S STll.L FAIR TO CONSIDER THE AUTHOR IN THAT UGHT. ---- I • . 11 THE GADFLY . : . . . �St. John's C P.O. Box 28 Annapolis, r DATE DUE ) ~reya Thompson's Failure of / b.e Fake NOteS-.Y Natalie runn Staff Writer by Leo Pickens Athletic Director The fake is an effective and commonly used practice in the realm of sports. Conducted by beginning to move in one direction followed "Spectating should never be a substitute for the by a full-scale turn and move in the other, the actual experience. Sport should not be experienced fake is an old-favorite of seasoned athletes. The second-hand. Next to religion, sport is the most imdefender, in a moment of confusion, follows portant function of man. It teaches us much about his man during the first move, loses him in who we are, how we should act. Whether pursued in a the second, and the offensive faker diverts the !!Jmnasium or a community center, on a track , or out defender successfully. This is the commonly on the road, sport introduces us to the limits of our • known fake. Then there is the fake of Freya. body, the workings of our mind, the capabilities of · The fake took place last Tuesday when the the social se!f." newest fixture on campus, the St. John's pro- From George Sheehan's 'On Running to motional film crew, was present to record live Win" Kunaisoccer action. They filmed a fair amount of action as it occurred naturally and It's a great delight to see so many new faces undoctored by their direction. First, however, out playing soccer with the women this fall. the film crew asked the Kunai women to perOne newcomer is especially impressive. I'm form a bit of scripted material. In their offenspeaking of Miss Else, who is one tenacious sive zone, team Gold was directed to make a defensive ball player. She steps to the ball with push towards the net and finish with a shot the best of them, and does this female dog on goal. Easy enough. The stars of the footfrom deep-down-under-the-dirt have a big age were to be Alyssa Grodotzke, heading the foot or what? For her great play so far this charge for team Gold, and Freya Thompson season, Miss Else is named Athlete of the Week for the women. I want to put the jock of the week spotlight among the men on another one of those allaround athlete types. This hard-working guy competed in the Ariel Head of the Patapsco Last week's puzzler was answered correctly with the rowing club on Saturday, rowing in by Miss Shannon. It is indeed a goal if the the men's 8 (along with Mssrs. Utter, Mewmaw, goalkeeper, while in the act of throwing the Erdman, Horst, Torgerson, Edwards, and ball, carries the ball over his own goal line. Zoller [first one to me with the rower missing And now for this week's teaser. In soccer, the from this line-up goes to the bookstore on goalkeeper handles the ball, which is touching me]), and then played one helluva soccer game the 18-yard line. What is the ruling? First one on Sunday with the Spartans in their tough to me with the right call goes to the bookmatch with the Hustlers. I'm Talking about store on me. You may leave your response on Mr. Ujj, and for his standout performance on my voice-mail, x2558. water and land, he is named Athlete of the Week for the men. You Make the Call 12 of team Green who would defend Ms. Grodotzke . . Take one: Ms. Grodotzke charges towards the goal, ball at foot. "Cut!" Ms. Thompson, possibly failing to hear that the desired footage was of a shot on net, steals the ball away from Ms. Grodotzke. Take two: more of the same. The attempt was once again botched by zealous Green defenders and Ms. Thompson. Mr. Pickens, attempting to help out, informed Ms. Thompson at this time that the goal was to allow Ms. Grodotzke to take a shot on net. "You see," said Mr. Pickens, gesturing with his hands as only Mr. Pickens can, "you've got to fake it, Freya. Make it look like you're trying to stop Grodotzke, and fail. You gotta act a little." Ms. Thompson, feeling she had a grasp on the situation, once again assumed position, ready for the camera to roll. "Action!" Grodotzke moves the ball downfield. Thompson, determined to pull off the fake, to go for the ball and miss, approaches Grodotzke. And it happened. As the ball was still feet away from Ms . Thompson's reach, before the eyes of all present and the camera, Ms. Thompson dove, suspended in the air for several moments, and missed the ball by a mile, conducting the only fake that she knew how: a fake that oozed fakness. The camera stopped. As it turns out, Freya Thompson just can't fake it. She either goes all out, or she doesn't go. For Freya Thompson, it's either real soccer, or it's really fake. No substitute. Several takes later, the film crew walked away satisfied with their footage, and Ms. Thompson played real soccer for the remainder of the game. And I must say, the real soccer she plays is pretty dam good. Side note: Ms. Decker and team Maroon also unveiled their new image last Tuesday. The Pink Panthers debuted their new team name along with their totally cool team shirts, which were hand-made courtesy of crafty Janae Decker. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . .. . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 5 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2004-09-28 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 5 of The Gadfly. Published September 28, 2004. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.5 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/435c1da075e59ccd6805b5e6de16ce7f.pdf fdbb2a7e109594147593c68696406a3e PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY T 1~11'1 1 1 ,GAD FLY H~ The St. John} College Student Week,{y Volume XXVI, Issue 6 Annapolis, Maryland Ottober 6, 2004 ,:;Fahrenheit 451 in Randall 208 by Christopher B. Utter Editor-in-Chief I have "stopped the presses," so to speak, in order to bring you the story of the fire on second Randall as soon as possible. I realize how attached many of you are to the GadJ!y, but I thought you would appreciate the facts, and so I hope you will not become too depressed over this short delay. The morning following the fire I interviewed Mrs. Seeger, who gave me as much information as she could. The cause of the fire is unknown at present. A resident alerted Mr. Stone, the RA on the second floor, as soon as he smelled the smoke. They knocked on the door and did not get a response, so they pulled the alarm. ''.All behaved beautifully," Mrs. Seeger said, referring to the ease with which all the necessary people were informed, as well as the prompt evacuation of the building. "The fire department came en masse, of course, and kept delaying the reentry plans, but it was pretty obvious students would not be going back into the building that night," she continued. The fire was large enough to warrant the use of a hose, which has caused some water damage in IT. The RAs found lodging for all the homeless students: some in rooms usually reserved for prospective students, others with friends, or in the health center. When I spoke to her privately, Mrs. Seeger said, "we don't know when Randall residents will be able to move back in." During a meeting later in the day for residents and RAs, the Director of Operations thought it could be as soon as Wednesday. "Our main concern is getting people back in their rooms," he said. "In order for this to happen, we have to clear two things. First, we have to make sure the electrical system is safe. Buildings and Grounds has completed that task, but the system still has to be inspected. Second, an independent alarm tester has to come in to make sure our alarm system is fully functional. If both things happen tomorrow, students could move back in, but nothing is certain." Students have been able to go back into the dorm for a short time to collect necessary belongings, but no one can "live" there; i.e., no one can take a shower, sleep, etc. The Director of Operations concluded the meeting by asking students to assess the damage done to their property. ''.All damage must be inventoried, both structural and personal," he said, because some or all of it could be covered by insurance. Immediately following the meeting I spoke to Max Socol and Steve Zweibel, the residents of the room in question, along with 1.1r. Socol's mother who had driven into town that morning from North Carolina. Neither student was in the room at the time; both were playing table tennis in the gym and were informed by another Randall resident. "No one believed him," Mr. Zweibel said of the student who broke the bad news. "I did before anyone else, and so I rushed back to the dorm to find the whole school watching." Astonishingly, Mr. Zweibel's game boy escaped nearly unscathed, as did Mr. Socol's computer. Both have found adequate lodging for the time being, although the room will remain uninhabitable for at least the remainder of the semester. According to one source (although I do not know how reliable it is) this is the worst fire the school has had in a century. �THE ...-GADFLY Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein A&E Editor Julie Janicki Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Aaron Brager Nina Carrieri AP.David Erikk M. Geannikis Stacey Goguen J.A.M. Willis McCwnber Leo Pickens John Peterson Natalie Rinn Clarke Saylor Deb Streusand TophStuart Jacob Thomas Sean Valles Sarah Wilson Webster Ye Founded in 1980, the Ga4f!y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Ga4f!y staff. The Ga4f!y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Ga4f!y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies; diskettes, and e;maiJ submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 ?-adffy Maµbox Students: Please note that there is an error on the posterfor m. butterfly The tickets go on sale M():qday,,"Oc-toq~clth after seminar, but the production takes place on Sunday, October 10th@ 7:30PM (shuttle leaves at 5:30PM). Because of the confusion, there may still be tickets available - if you are interested, please call me at x253 7. Sorry for the confusion. Nina Carrieri Re: Dishpit Whining To: Whining Dishpit Students Oh no! Looks like we're going to have to call the Wahmbulance! WaaaaAAAAAAAAAHH! Respectfully Yours, Toph Stuart Whatchu ta/kin' 'bout Willis? Dear Willis McCwnber: In the previous issue of the Ga4f!y, you mentioned that the 1955 film noir classic Kiss M~ Deadfy was a ''la1_11e!ltable waste~of three .. precious dollars" and that the film "should never have gotten any further than Friday night in Campbell basement." You criticized the film on the basis of its allegedly "incomprehensible plot" and "pantingly loose women." The plot and the relationship between the characters in the film are admittedly difficult to ascertain. I would encourage you, however, not to dismiss it so quickly. It is easy to look at the misogynistic jokes and slapstick as an indication that there is no value in the film, and to understand it in a deeper sense you need to be able to look past that. As you may leam when you read Aristophanes later this year, people have a hard time looking past crude hwnor for any sort of insight. If you run across it at a video store, I suggest you check it out and watch it a few more times. On a further note, your article was demeaning and deprecatory towards Mabel the Swimming Wonder Monkey. This club shows a wide variety of movies, and they are often very good ones. I don't think they deserved the bashing you gave them. Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis? Aaron Brager SJC Fibn Society Archon SCI Minutes Thursday, September 30, 2004 Present were Nora Kelleher, SCI chair, Miriam Keim, SCI Secretary, Paul Wilford, sophomore representative, Luke J ayalapan, junior representative, Chris Utter, junior representative, Erin Hughy-Commers, senior representative, Josh Weinstein, senior representative, Jilian Sico, senior representative. Discussed Seminar on Seminars Discussed planning Sub-Commit tees Discussed purpose of Sub-Commit tees Discussed the role of Music in the program . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �QUESTIONS ACTUALLY WRITTEN IN ARE PRECEDED BY A "%". ONES WE MADE UP ARE PRECEDED BY A "+". THANK YOU. %Dear Jews' Clues: What are you doing to celebrate Sukkot? Yarmulke On Ur Rosh (Hebrew for head) , Jews Everywhere Want Gelt Under Ian king's Little Tush Dear YO.U.R.J.E.W.G.U.I.L.T.: You can Sukkot. That holiday is the least famous of all Jewish holidays, as evidenced by the fact that neither Max nor Jewish Anonymous Man Q.A.M.) really remembered this holiday. Max is pretty sure that when he was a little kid, he had a book to teach him about Sukkot but all he can remember is that there was a cat and a little boy, and the cat wanted to wear a yarmulke. It was not allowed to. Anyway, we were originally opposed to this holiday's existence, until we asked Gadf/y editor / Rabbi Chris Utter, who knew much more than we did. Quoth Mr. Utter: "You people build this thing out of bamboo and aluminum poles in your driveways and cover it with palm leaves and eat dinner." After looking up Sukkot in the dictionary, we determined that "this thing" is actually a hut, and people eat dinner inside it. We also determined that it is spelled "Sukkoth," at least according to Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language, 1989 edition. And if we're gonna trust someone named Chris Utter regarding Judaism, we'll certainly trust some dude named Webster. - J.C. P.S. Mr. Utter: what did you mean by "you people"? %Dear Jews' Clues: I want to thank you for honoring me in the first issue by writing a fake letter in my name asking if your letters are fakes. I see you've read your Borges! As for K(issing) A(ll) P(alestinians) L(avishly) A(nd) N (icely) - if only more Jewish Girls would do it! This letter is not a fake. In it I would like to share an original poem, say farewell, and introduce the new Director of Student Services. Farewell: Through a Johnny connection, I have been offered a job outside the college that I decided to take. Let's just say I've been Absorbed By The Borg, (i.e., going to work for a large defense contractor). I am sad to leave, but will be based in the area, so you'll see me around once in a while. This all happened very quickly, so I have not had a chance to say a proper goodbye to many Polity Members. If you would like to contact me, please email miss_kaplan@yahoo.com Introducing Chris Aamot: The new Interim D.O.S.S. is Chris Aamot, SF '04. He is going to be great and you should stop by his office and say hello. Ask him why he spent a month having only seaweed to eat for fresh vegetables. Ask him to tell you his full name, (but bring your Norwegian dictionary) . Ask him to tell you the history of the dorm you live in. If you are interested in a career in radio, then you definitely need to talk to him. . .An original poem: It is hard for me to write for the Gadfly and resist dispensing advice and admonishing The Naughty Monkeys amongst us. This i.s my last day, so please indulge me. Since Jews Clues is hosting this article, I will direct m y schoolmarmish comments and criticism towards i\fr. Kronberg and that faygella,Jewish Anonymous Man. Young Jews, don't mess with your noses. A1thoU:gh since-9I11, Semites are becoming less and less popular, resist the pressure to whitewash your own fa ce! My own grandmother shamefully disfigured herself and tried to convince me to do it too. "Bub be," I urged her, "Stay Black!" but she went ahead and got a nose job. And she didn't stop there. In her eighty-ninth year, she went back under the knife. "Bubbe," I shouted at her during a Professionally Facilitated Intervention on The Oprah Show, (you missed it because it was broadcast on a seminar night), ''You're on a rampage! STOP THE MADNESS!" But did she listen? Of course she didn't listen, because she is as willful as you are! Today;s Grandmothers are as out of control as Today's Undergraduates! Despite my warnings, she went right ahead and had hip replacement surgery! But back to my poem. Max and JAM, this one's for you: You are a disgrace To the race! Love, Miss Kaplan Dear 1\-fiss Kaplan: Oh no! Looks like we're going to have to call the Wahmbulance! Waaaa.A.AAAAAAAAAAAHH! Also, your poem sucks. But not in a cute, we're teasing you kind of way. Really, it's terrible. -J.C. P.S. We just read your letter again. It's hard to know how to respond to something so poorly organized. As best we can tell: you're leaving for somewhere, there's a new dude, J.A.M.'s a queer, and you don't think Jews should get plastic surgery. Well, our responses to all of these are, respectively: bye, hi, just because he turned you down doesn't make him gay, and we don't understand why you urged your grandmother to "stay black," but we think it's okay for Jews Jews' Clues continued oti page 14 . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY. 3 �St. John's: The Movie Krause, to talk about the film, how it came to be and what it's going to be like, Mr. Zlotoff's past career in film, whether St. John's has changed since he's been By the time you read this article, they'll here, and, of course, MacGyver. already be gone. And you might not be The movie idea first popped up at a -roo·so}ry-to ~ee them go, when you con- ·· co~mittee meeting of the Board ofVis1sider your day-to-day experience on cam- tors and Governors, when they were trypus. For one thing, it's been a nuisance ing to figure out how to communicate to get around them (like everyone else with the SJC community, alumni, and who is now in Fe, except for Taylor foundations, in preparation for a capital Donahue ... and yes, before I cause a let- campaign (a good thing for us, if we ter-writing campaign, I am kidding). Be- don't want our tuition to go up). One of sides, we Johnnies aren't usually too fond those present, a real-estate developer of things that are different from what (Erwin Greenberg, the same man who is we're used to, being the curmudgeonly redoing Parole) mentioned that he used young folk we DVDs to comare. But municate in his they've been business. Evhere to make eryone seemed something to like this idea, lasting, with and Mr. the goal of Zlotoff (havmaking it "as ing been different present, as he from the was on the typical...as St. Board) was all John's 1s set to make from the typi"St. John's: cal college." The Movie," I'm talkbut the admining about the istration had a film crews, couple of quesnaturally. tions about You've probhow the movie ably heard would be used, something and how it about the would be "St. project. John's" rather Maybe that than a "typical dumb college film," as Mr. they're making a promotional video about Zlotoff put it. the school; maybe that the guy who made Addressing the first question, and conMacGyver is involved. You probably sidering the variety of audiences for which haven't gotten much in the way of orga- the film was intended, Mr. Zlotoff denized information, though. So we at the cided to make a series of movies cut from Gadf(y decided to make like a newspaper the same footage (through the magic of and help you out there. digital editing) - one for prospies, one It was a little difficult even to schedule for alumni, one for foundations, and so an interview with Lee Zlotoff (A'74) on, changing the information and conwhile he was here making the film. Get- tent for the intended target audience. Makting 60-80 hours of film, spending two ing the movie "St. John's" (which is apweeks here and two in Fe, makes one a parently an adjective in this respect) was a busy man. But I finally got to sit down with Mr. Zlotoff and his assistant, Jared by Deb Streusand Staff Writer Homecoming: Return of Odysseus or Scalloped : Butter? . by Willis McCumber · Staff Writer This year's alumni homecoming : marked the fiftieth anniversary of the last · all-male class at St. John's. It's a time to : reflect on change and continuity, reengage · in timeless conversations, get drunk, and : slaughter some suitors. "The best thing, · of course, is seeing all my old classmates : again," said one alum from the 80's or · thereabouts. "In seminar earlier, I real: ized suddenly that I knew the names of · everyone at the table. It's as if I never : left." She then hefted her bloodstained · sword, darkened her brows, and in a much : deeper tone of voice muttered "those : suitors had it coming. I think we came . just in time." The 2004 home-comers responded : with a tolerant cheerfulness to the melee · club's exuberant reenactment of the re. turn of Odysseus. Perhaps the wine was : responsible, or perhaps it was the food · which was much better than our dining : hall fare (why don't we get frilled, seal. loped, or whatever butter for our rolls? : And where's the army of dining atten. dants with bottles of wine? And the pro: fusion of glasses? ... ). But these are petty complaints; and to : be fair, according to the homecoming bro. chure, even the vegetarian moussaka cost : $42.00 - a sizeable bill for any unemployed · nostalgic Johnnie. Yet, this is a small price : to pay; as quoted from the Odyssey in · the brochure: "for I think there is no oc: casion accomplished that is more pleas. ant than when festivity holds sway : among all the populace, and the feasters · up and down the houses are sitting in : order and listening to the singer, and be- Film continued on page 13 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Homecoming continued on page 13 �The Tenure-Free Zone:"Hey, Fred, They're. Giving Away Greek Lexicons!" "Great! Where Do You Plug 'Em In?" by A. P. David Tutor [Warning to Sensitive Readers: there are three a 'pr*ck 'and an '*rsehole' in this article, but there is absolutefy no taking the Lords name in vain, and as all these regrettable things occur onfy in this warning,you have passed them now] St. John's has done admirably well in creating tutorials to study music, mathematics, and laboratory science. Scott Buchanan thought that in the modem world, the liberal arts were best practiced in the laboratory. In lab, scholarly reverence for the achievements and techniques of modem science, combined with a good deal of local intuition, have produced a stimulating programme at the college. :tvfr. Buchanan was wrong, however. In my view the great work in the liberal arts of the twentieth century was in the description of languages. Tbis was not work that drew attention to itself. It did not win Nobel prizes; it did not earn named University chairs; often it was done at the expense of the linguists who performed it. But there is more data there for a science of man than in any possible human genome. Two of the books that underclassmen deal with the most at St. John's are Mollin and Williamson's An Introduction to Ancient Greek and Liddell and Scott's Greek-English Lexicon. Both of these works are products of the modem tradition in linguistics. Yet at no point in their time here are students pointed toward the foundations and the practices of this tradition. Hence our students have no idea, are not even prompted to wonder, it seems to me, how such books are made. (The depth of the problem with the culture at St. John's is indicated by the directive from the Instruction Committee that tutors should refer their corrective "points of grammar'' to some Webster's or other-as though questions of grammar had answers that merely needed to be 'looked up.' Has the Instruction Committee reviewed and J*cks~ critiqued this Webster's? Is it prescriptive· or descriptive?_How are we to knowhow to.i:efer students to it without knowing which kind of grammar it is? Is not a descriptive grammar of English something our students should be encouraged to think about, even to formulate, in the course of their encounters with Greek and French? Do we not profess that grammar is one of the liberal arts, rather than a set of rules?) At no other place in the programme would a stu- McGregor's love affair with Liddell and Scott continued, as this photograph from 1957 attests. dent be allowed to take a measurement off an instrument and treat it significantly, if he could not give an account of how the instrument worked. 1bis is what is encouraged of them when they translate at St. John's using a grammar and a lexicon. There is very little that should be changed about the freshman language tutorial. The Greek manual is an excellent work of its kind. I was personally advantaged by its prominent treatment of aspect. My teachers in Greek-were among the best philologists of their generation, and each of them had a different range over the phenomena. But each of them continually emphasised aspect in close readings of passages, poetry or prose, and I was thankful for having been introduced to Greek through Mollin & Wtlliamson and having been the beneficiary of their unusual emphases. But it must come into consciousness somehow at this college that grammars do not grow on trees, or fall from the sky, or come regulated by a governmental agency. The notion of'aspect,' and the notion that there is aspect in Greek, are both of them modem and recent ideas. The application to Greek came from a comparison with aspect in the Russian verb. Mollin & Williamson's celebrated chapter on the verb appears to owe an uncredited debt to Roman Jakobson's analysis of the Russian verb (I have not read through this particular work of Jakobson, but I take my point on good authority). '.A.spect' plays no part in ancient Greek descriptive grammars. What our students (and our students alone in the world) call 'past progressive,' the Ancients called atels;s, 'imperfect.' Mollin's and Williamson's is a modem work based on modem linguistic premisses upon which we at the College offer no critical perspective whatsoever. There has been a Saussurean revolution in the modem practice of the liberal arts, while St. John's has as good as stuck its head in the sand Tbis revolution has been as far-reaching in the humanities and social sciences as the Cartesian was in mathematics and physics. Scarcely a dissertation is written in the departments of the humanities and social sciences that does not reflect this revolution-the birth of linguistics out of philology, that led to new templates and forms of argument in all the human sciences--in form or content, directly or Tenure-Free continued on page 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Tenure-Free continued from page 5 indirectly. (Exceptions perhaps arise in those selfisolated areas of philosophy and political theory that are our usual watering holes on tutor-gat_hering expeditions. The New Program may itself be considered a kind of brave and hostile reaction to some of the distant offshoots of what I am calling a Saussurean revolution. But why react to the misguidance of his students, when Qmgias himself is to hand?) When I came to teaching junior language, I had an attack of conscience about this matter. Here we were about to slog through another grammar, doing exercises and learning rules. One colleague simply said "you have to be a French professor," drill them and quiz them until they memorise. I was determined to have a language tutorial rather tha..n a French class. I asked my students if they k.11ew how grammars and dictionaries were made. I asked them if they knew t.1-ie difference between a dictionary and a lexicon. In two years of language study none of them had thought to ask such questions. What I decided to do was to read Saussure's Course in General Linguistics with them. This bookis short, seminal, short, brilliant, great, and short. It can be read straight in three weeks, a segment like the logic segment in sophomore language. I preferred to take a day, every week or two, in amongst the exercises from Palmeri and J'vfilliga.<, to read passages of ten to twenty pages. The results were an unequivocal success. (I am currently doing this in senior language, where Saussure may be even better suited.) I am not one in any case who approaches the study of grammar as a means to something else, but the classes on Saussure were a bghlight of the year, and had a constant galvanizing effect on all our discussions, :iricluding on French exercises. (Saussure happily gives a number of illustrations from the history of French.) It is not the case that simply reading Saussure can make one a grammaria..11 or a lexicographer, or even a critic of hl-ie work of grammarians a..-rid lexicographers. Facility in the modern liberal arts of language is too hard, and takes too long, to be acbeved within the confines of a bachelor's education; this is not the case with the modem liberal arts of measurement. But to read Saussure is to open a door. All the hostile camps now claim him. To read him is to go to the roots of things, in the best tradition of the St. John's curriculum; wl1ile the fruits, sweet or sour, ripe or poison, can be tried elsewhere. In Saussure my srndents found the first author in foe language programme to ask: what is language? A.. he gives an answer, a very mod11.d em answer. Upper-classmen who are feeling their 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . oats in confronting modem thinkers in seminar do not take Saussure's answer either reverently or at face value. It has surprised me how challenged students feel by Saussure's discussions, and how imag;.natively they respond to the challenges. Some of his distinctions ought to become staples of the St.John's scene, just as they have become fundamental in the practice of the modem liberal arts of language: langue and parole, for instance; or synchronic vetsus-dlnchronico-aceotirifS, The latter dis"'c tinction in particular has a pointed application to this community. I would wager that there is not a tutor who has passed through our campus that has not at some time or other resorted to etymology in the course of an exposition or argument. \'Vhat is one doing when one turns to etymology to help elucidate the truth or the meaning of a statement? What, for example, is the etymology of 'etymology'? Do English speakers who use this word know its origin and history? Is it important to know its etymology, or anything else beyond a user's intent, when we interpret a speaker or a writer? Saussure is by no means an answer man on this question, but he is the right author to help one think the matter through, at least when it comes to the linguistic aspect of etymology. To etymologise is to make the diachronic reality come to bear onthe synchronic reality. I mean to call out not just my present colleagues, but Jacob Klein and Martin Heidegger, when I question an unexamined or even mystical use of etymology. In a freshman language archon meeting I once pointed out that in the early 1980s, Carnegie-Mellon Ur..iversity used to supply its incoming freshman with a computer. For similar reasons, I said, we ought to supply our freshmen with the complete Liddell & Scott. (The cost would hardly be noticed if it were added-or subtractedl-from the current tuition.) What we have in ancient Greek is not a language but a liturgy; a finite and tiny sampling of the work of mostly extraordinary authors. The only rational approach to reading such a collection is through lexicography: collecting all the words and all their instances, drawing on ancient dictionaries, using comparative reconstruction, and inducing the distinct terms of usage from context. At every stage of the process there is need for a modem lexicographer to use his judgment. This is why in reversing the process-trying to read an ancient text by means of such a lexicon--<:me also has constantly to use one's judgment. The art of us- ing the full lexicon therefore requires that one learn how to read an entry, but it also requires that one read boili widely and deeply across the liturgy. This is to practice ilie art of the Hellenist. It is impossible that our students or even our tutors acquire such an art in their time here, but it would be good if they were given what I\fr. Klein called the conditions for the possibility. Sophocles' usage, for example, is so peculiar iliat very often one finds'the-passage one is reading cited and glossed in its own numbered entry in the lexicon's article. These are moments of discovery if one is reading Sophocles "'-ith the full lexicon. The lexicographer's scaffolding falls away, and one comes face to face with a poet and with the mystery of his meani.'l.g. (\v'hat, for example, does Sophocles mean by praxis? This question was posed by a friend of mine who is a professional Hegelian, who observed that it had to mean something like 'fate' at certain points in the Oedipus at Colonus. The mere fact diat such a translation could be forced on this word seems to me to lead rather far into the thought of both Sophocles and Hegel.) These Sophoclean glosses happen so often in Liddell & Scott that it is fair to say that their full lexicon in fact amounts to a commentary on the whole of Sophocles; and it must t.'ierefore escape our students' attention, however hard they pay it, that in the lexicographers' own opinion Sophocles's usage often falls outside t.'ie general strands that have been culled in the abridged articles. Hence the notion that Sophocles can be read wiL.1. anything but the full compendium of L & S is not defensible. Thus it is a great misfortune t.liat the Instruction Committee has decided to distribute the so-called 'intermediate' lexicon to our students. I doubt that any of my colleagues who had had a background in music or laborator.r science have ever had to deal with such a :misuse of instruments in the practice of the programme. It might be argued that if it is i..11possible that our students become experienced enough i.."'1 Greek to read Sophocles with a full lexicon, perhaps they should simply use the Intermediate lexicon as a kind of dictionary. Tne problem here is that it is a poor dictionary. It is long years now, but it seemed to me that the shortest abridgement was produced with a good deal more judgment than the Intermediate. The Intermediate has the impri.."Ilatur of ,A,.lice's fat.11.er, but I doubt that he had much to do wit.11. it. Consider an example or tw·o. As part of a recent assignment, a freshman looked up legw in the Intermediate lexicon. He found three �separate entries, as though there were three different words-roughly, 'gather,' 'count,' and 'say.' He wondered whether there was not a connection between the senses of these apparently homonymous words. Lo and behold, in the complete lexicon, there are only two entries: one not included in the Intermediate, a posited form connected to lekhos, 'bed'; the other, a single, multi-column entry--0ne word whose usage by authors led the lexicographers to divide their -· account undcrtfueeRi:>man headings. The presentation in the true lexicon is in fact an invitation to see connections between the different uses of what is in fact a single word. This so-called Intermediate lexicon is therefore in no sense an abridgement: it represents a radically different, and to my mind inferior, judgment on the part of the lexicographer. This example is of course a word with great import for our whole programme, and hence I am not to be thought to be exercising esoteric fears or a merely professional snit. Here is another biggie. The first italicized entry for psukhe in the Intermediate lexicon is 'breath'. This notion that psukhe = 'breath' was also perpetuated until recently in M & Ws vocabulary lists. I have seen this meaning made much of, on the authority of these sources, in several student papers over my years here, including in a prize-winning senior essay. But if one looks in the full lexicon there is no mention of breath anywhere, in an article of more than two columns' length. (An instance from Simonides is cited without comment.) At the end of the article the authors actually go to the trouble -of arguing that the derivation from psukhw, 'blow, breathe,' is unlikely because there is no support in Homer. There is an association of psuche with blood in Homer, but none whatsoever with breath (pnoii;:, thumos). The entry in the Intermediate lexicon is therefore both bizarre and wrong. Tutors and students who have developed their judgment about Greek in concert with this lexicon are, with good reason, no longer to be trusted, and ought not to trust themselves. (It is in any case a fool who hath said that he 'knows Greek'.) I would much prefer that vocabulary lists be prepared for Sophocles- there may be some available in editions-rather than that the myth of an 'intermediate' lexicon be perpetuated in our language tutorial. Far the best solution, however, is that we institute Homer in sophomore language. The urgency here is not as definitive and critical as the need to introduce Saussure, but I find the arguments very compelling. Homer is simply easier, better, and deeper than anything else. He is a gift from the gods dropped in the lap of our limitations, and it is absurd that he does not have the place at tlus college that Euclid, Bach, Apollonius, Newton, Baudelaire & Co. enjoy. There are forty-eight books to choose from. Fri.10/1 There exists an excellent, complete and managePresent were President Amy Taylor; Secreable lexicon in English. Sophocles himselfwould scorn those who attempted to read him while tary Erikk Geannikis; Treasurer Kevin Grizzard; ignorant of Homer. Homer is a world that gave Polity Attorney Natalie Rinn; Delegates Brian birth to worlds. Aeschylus and Sophocles thrive . Jones, Aaron Brager, Jon Coppadge, Lord Thooff a-resonance that must be lost tci our -stu- • -mas Burbridge, Deborah Mangum, Max dents. It is a world that one can enter with a Kronberg, Chester Martin, Pat Sullivan, John small lexicon and a smaller grammar. His music Peterson, Ervin Romero, Jordan Gannon, JP can be scanned with far greater ease than any- Mcintyre. Absent were Delegates Laura Cate, Billy thing in Sophocles; and yet the music is no less Ladd-Cawthorne, Nicole Young, Meghan complex, and has no match for beauty. There is Lockhard. 12:00 - Mickey McCann presents the an ignorant Hegelianism that sees epic, lyric and Woodshop budget. drama as a world-historical triadic development. 12:07 - Amount revised from $200 to $300. The truth is that Sophocles learned how to craft 12:07 - Aaron Brager opens discussion of a dramatic speech in Homer's school. The the Film Society budget. rhapsodes thrived in the age of drama, thrived Amount revised from $3035 to $2835. creatively even in the Christian era. (Ibe Liturgy 12:08 -Erikk Geannikis opens discussion of of the Word is rhapsody.) What is distinctive about Sophoclean drama is not in fact the the Tuesday Nite "Fites" budget. 12:27 - Amount revised from $350 to $150 drama; it is the modus of choral lyric. If the 12:28 - Deborah Mangum opens discussion sophomores were to read Homer in Greek opposite the Bible and Virgil, if they were to of the Reality budget. 12:34-Amount remains at $3875. read his sinllles opposite the analogiai of geFall Semester budget made an EVI. ometry, and opposite the astronomical retro12:37 - The budget unanimously passes. gressions of the planet-gods in Ptolemy, if Auditing, funds distribution are disthey were to scan the original mousik<;, the dance of the Muses, while studying melody and cussed. 12:38 - Adjourned. rhythm in music, I feel a cohesion nlight come to the beginning of sophomore year, the lack of which nowadays sometimes drives a student to despair. DC Minutes: Annapolis Businesses Advertise with the Gadf!J and reach hundreds of St Johns students, tutors, alumni and parents Please contact Katf?y Keene St. John's College, P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis MD, 21404 or call 410-263-2371 ext. 2212 (the Gadfly Office) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �Homecoming Lecture: Proving that Alumni Still Want to be Johnnies by Webster Ye Staff Writer realm of the divine. It is only when vation from the "golden rule," humanity is Teiresias, acting as the messenger of the gods, thus capable of reaching a stage where it is rams it into Creon's head that his actions capable of limited self-judgment when there This year's Homecoming Lecture, pre- could be construed as a violation of human _js_an infringemenL_of J:i'!man rights (as, exsentedrasfFritlay;was oyPeter Weiss)f'lf~C tight~ thatCreo~ c~ncede~ his po~ition. Mr. emplified u;_ the case of De t-;sas, the The lecture was entitled: "Human Rights Weiss seemed also to want to include the founder of modern human rights, when he from Antigone to Rosa Parks." Mr. Weiss God of the Bible within this divinely-in- complained against the conquest of the entered the college as a member of the Class spired code of human rights - and that Americas by the Spanish). of 1946, but due to the Second World War, through this we have one method of unIn the current stage of human rights evohe graduated in 1949. After St. John's, Mr. derstanding what is right. lution, as sparked by Rosa Parks with her Weiss went on to Yale Law School, and evenThe second stage of the evolution of refusal to yield her bus seat in full knowltually a career in the legal profession - first human rights, argued Mr. Weiss, paralleled edge of the consequences, Mr. Weiss argued as a trademark lawyer, and then as a human the re-introduction of classical texts in the for the "triumph of ethics over politics, of rights activist and lawyer. right over might." In this stage, we are purMr. Weiss, in his lecture, argued for the portedly able to move beyond having to fully necessity of human rights in human society justify an intuition of a human rights abuse as well as the evolution of human rights as to simply knowing that something is "just a progression from the divinely-inspired acnot right." (Mr. Weiss quoting Rosa Parks.) In this stage, declarations such ash the "Unitions of Antigone to the morally-outraged actions of Rosa Parks at the beginning of versal Declaration of Human Rights" (by the America's Civil Rights Movement. The leeUnited Nations), are no more than the coditure was divided into three sections: the dification of what is written in our hearts. As vine, the rational, and the moral. such, we do not have to fully rely on divine The divine approach to human rights utior rational codes of human rights to form lized both Antigone's actions in Sophocles's humanity's code of conduct. Rather, 1fr. play as well as some interesting references to Weiss proclaims that a code of common conboth the works of Aristotle and Plato (provducts exists within every one of our hearts, ing that Mr. Weiss still wants to relive freshand that is the knowledge that sometimes, man Seminar). In this approach, Mr. Weiss something is "just not right." argued that the very first concept of human Mr. Weiss attempted to address the evorights was either divinely-inspired or divinely lution of human rights to the question, ordained. Antigone committed to her course "what will become of human rights?" As a of defiance against Creon's edict forbidding result of modern society, he claims, human Polyneices's burial because she believed rights are a concept bandied about by everyCreon was not acting in accordance with the body, and that its constant barrage offers the will of the gods. Moreover, although Plato potentially horrible situation of making does not claim to fully agree with the dihuman rights less important and lucid. In vinely-ordained conceptualization of human his lecture, Mr. Weiss gave every indication rights Antigone uses to justify her actions, Renaissance, and its extension to the Age that human rights, as they stand, can only he does agree the custom of burying corpses of Reason. The culmination of this period be viewed within our individual hearts, so (in the Republic) is necessary for the com- was not the U.S. Constitution and our Bill that when something is deemed right by an bating of injustice in a city. However, the of Rights, but rather, the French Declara- outside force (such as a government), but is main problem with a divinely-based code tion of the Rights of Man (and the very in actuality, wrong, we are able to take effecof human rights is that, although what we interestingly-named counterpart, the "Dec- tive action to remedy the abuse. do in our actions to other humans may be laration of the Rights of the Woman and However, Mr. Weiss's lecture in many inbelieved holy to the gods, and thus pleasing Female Citizens") in the French Revolution. stances veered off into overt attacks on the to them, nevertheless, if we cannot figure In this section, human rights' origins were current Presidential administration's actions. out what is the moral thing to do, then all divine, but they were discovered by the use In one particular instance, he likened the acthe gods' edicts will be rendered for naught. of human reason. Mr. Weiss also introduced tions of the fundamentalist terrorists to that Creon is an example - he attempts to satisfy the concept of an eternal, unchangeable law of barbarians, and that the sanctioning of his attempt at protecting Thebes, but mis- for all nations and all time that he seemed Lecture continued page 11 judges the extent of his actions upon the to link with "natural law." Through this deri- ia 8 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. �10 Best Websites to Visit When You Really Ought to be Doing Work by Sarah Wilson Staff Writer It's 12:30 a.m. You have a paper due at 9:00 a.m. You have thougbTof a title and "transferred it from your mind to your computer screen. That's a good start, right? You feel your fingers edging towards your email. What the hey, you think. The night is young. I mean, you've got until 9 to get this thing done. Well, when you're done with your email, check these sites out. I've tried to steer dear of sites that depend upon specific localities, might help you with your homework, or might cater only to specific entertainment interests. Some are fanny, some serious. But they will give you something to do when you just don't feel like writing your paper or considering the infinite and wish to divert yourself from your wretchecl'less. 1. www.fatmouse.tk This features pictures of some of the most corpulent rodents you've ever seen and a hilarious commentary written by somebody who's probably an even bigger dork than we are. I first saw this at 4:00 AM in a state I would not describe as one of sobriety. I almost fell off my chair, laughing. 'When I looked at it the next day, I still almost fell off my chair. Now that's saf..ng something. But really, it's not for me to explain this site to you. It is for you to explain your existence to Fatmouse. 2. www.catbirdseat.org/ catbirdseat/ bingo.html The idea here is you print out a bingo game to play the next time you go to see pretty, weepy indie rock boys play guitars and sing in frontof the crowd you see on the bingo board. Go to the site. You'll see. 8. www.4degreez.com/ misc/ dante-inferno-test.mv This is fun. It's a nice topic of conversation . 4Jl#ng Dante reading time in particular, but for anytime really. If you are a private sort of person, it's best to take the test alone as some of 3. www.hipsterhandbookcom the questions are rather personal. At the end, Do you ever lie awake at night in a cold the test tells you where you are going and desweat wondering whether or not you are hip scribes your circle of hell (or if you're lucky, purand how you could be hipper? Have you seen gatory) with a great deal of textual accuracy. It the sleek, blue hipster handbook in the will also rate your risk factor for going to varibookstore but been too afraid or im- ous circles that you are not actually bound for. poverished to buy it? Well, here's its The funny thing is, I took this with my exwebsite. Find out interesting rid-bits boyfriend, Satan, and we're both totally going about hipsters and take a test to see if to limbo with th.e virtuous pagans. He's woryou're one. Incidentally, this website ried that this might indicate some sort of inacalso features links to most of the other curacy in the test. sites on this list. 9. w-ww.commondreams.org 4. www.hipstersareannoying.com This website has news for people who like This site bills itself as "The New to take a "progressive" stance. It's so much less York Cit-y Anti-Hipster Forum." For upsetting than Fox News, which often makes hipsters or friends of hipsters who me war1t to cry, rend my garments, tear my hair don't take themselves too whatever and roll around in the dust. word we're using these days seriously, 10. www.pitchforkmedia.com, it's hours of amusement. It features many genuinely well-written humor- w-ww.othermusic.com ous vignettes about the stupid things This is a great site to visit for i..nformation about music t...fiat is produced by bands whose hipsters do. shows you might want to take your hipster 5. www.wittytirade.net/features/ bingo sheet to. Do your research on pitchfork feat005abbasonggothlcpoetry.shtml and then buy your stuff from Other Music. Do you like Abba? Do you like overwrought poetry by high school sophomores who are consumed by "the darkness"? Can you tell the two apart? Ah, there's the rub. It's harder than you might think. Check your prowess here. 6. www.nytimes.com All the news that's fit to print right i.n vour room. This wavvou can relive ' ' ' Sunday mornings at home without having to get dressed and go the library. Roll out of bed and wake up with a cup of tea, the Velvet Underground and the Times. 7. www.salon.com A great online magazine. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �Sex and Violins quire a significant other. \~e this is a won- is here recalling his father's funeral. He is right derful thing in light of my sanity, it also spells to call it the darkest part of the quartet; its openI had this really great idea last spring. I bad news for my bold, avant-garde (circa 1930) ing pace would be a relief after earlier tempos could see my name in the Gadfly (and thus article ideas. First off, it's kind of creepy to talk if the violins didn't stab our hearts with tl1eir feed my ego) far more often if, instead of wait- about your sex life in public when you're in a shrill, stretched intervals, and the viola didn't ing for someone to write an article or letter that long term relationship, plus it makes for a poor break them with its almost baroque tomb song. offended my tender sensibilities enough to read. To further complicate matters, the beau- The final movement, unsurprisingly, brings elicit some-arrogant response, l'Simplycw-mte tiful young lady in question opte-d fo continue back the brisk bpms of the proceeaing two. articles of my own. Concert reviews seemed pursuing her course of study at Brown instead It's rhythmically tight and direct, and felt like most appealing, since I wouldn't be expected of dropping out and moving to Annapolis to the most uniform part of the quartet as a reto contribute every week, but would still be be closer to me. This pretty much means that sult, the musicians getting many chances to play under enough obligation to other people that from day to day, there's a lot more violins in in a pounding unison. I might actually do it instead of talking about my life than sex. Maybe it wasn't such a good There are a whole lot of pleasant and nearly doing it at dinner. as many unpleasant intervals in Debussy's quaridea for a column anyway. Plus it didn't seem last year as though anySpeaking of violins, there were a couple on tet, and performers can choose to accentuate body was particularly enthused about having stage in FSK last Friday, when the American either as they see fit. The Americans clearly the job (ifl'm wrong about that, I apologize), String Quartet, with their "innovative approach choose the melodic approach, but still highand as anyone who's ever abused substances to making chamber music fresh and interest- lighted a few of the dissonant twists of the with me knows, I love talking/ lecturing about ing for listeners around the world," rolled into sheet which prompted Cesar Franck to dub music. In addition, since I personally never town for a night of weeping and dancing. I the g minor "music sur les pointes d' aiguilles." found concert reviews to be the biggest page recognized Richard Danielpour's name, and They also choose to play up the 1" movement's turner, nor expect to improve upon the situa- undoubtedly have heard some pieces of his crescendos, which was a very good idea. Imtion myself, I thought maybe I could bring up before, but never bothered to let his music make pressionism can often just feel like a single rush, the only other subject important to me, and an impression on me. As a result, I had not or some continuous, if swirling flow of warm throw in the occasional Louis-Ferdinand idea what to expect from his znd quartet. There colors that never bothers to actually paint a picCelinesque reference to my sex life. If it didn't are numerous types of modern quartets, but ture (not that it necessarily needs to). This was make for a better read, at least people might the two most popular seem to be those which not a problem for the schertzo, with its jilting write angry letters about how offensive and either follow the lead of Schonberg or Bartok. pulses and throbbing pizzicato. At once the dumb they found my articles, and then I could I was happy to find that the Danielpour be- most rhythmic and melodic part of the quarwrite back and tell them that they didn't un- longed to the second school. Nothing against tet, it makes up for its lack of imagery with a derstand my art and are most likely uncultured Schonberg and his disciples, I just prefer my bubbly dancing beat packed with pops and and dose-minded as well. Then, of course my modernism a bit more percussive and my melo- cracks one could actually feel in person. name would be in the Gadfly a lot. Call it the dies more folksong sad than horror movie disThe 3'd movement was begun by the first urge to leave some sort of legacy, if you like. violin who bowed his head just before the secconcerting. Back in April, I was getting drunk on a daily The 1" movement arrives in easily digest- ond played her first, gorgeously sad notes. basis, having lots of fun being single and pro- ible chunks, each replete with its own dis- While the andantino, doucement expressif is miscuous, and not a lot of fun going crazy. tinctive, pounding bassline. To the relief never as poignant as its counterpart in the Over the summer I somehow managed to ac- of many people in the audience (and prob- Danielpour, this means it is never as sentimenably the chagrin of a few), it was neither tal either. It sings its melody instead of wailcaustic nor overly discordant. The znd (called ing it, and even if the song itself is not as "the Little Dictator") is humorous in a primal and pure, it's not as earthly either. One Calvin and Hobbes sort of way. It seems, simply cries instead rending their cloths and at once, to both mock and admire the an- pouring ash in their hair. The end of sometics of children at play or otherwise. One thing wonderful, abrupt as it may be, is just hears the rush of under-ripe emotion: the that, the end of something wonderful, not Saturdqy, Oct. 23rd rage of a thrown toy or a playmate's the end of one's life. Contact Nina Canieri, SRA toppled sandcastle, the sudden slide into The finale is no less mournful, but it recovin Campus Mail ASAP to indicate the sort of groundless, if short lived, end ers a bit of the grove that had been tabled by interest. Tickets will cost $8.00 and will of the world despair that only an elemen- its predecessor. Eventually, after all, one has to be sold in tary school student is capable of. go back to the dance, to socialize, to meet people The 3'd movement is slow, as would be in the hopes of filling the gap caused by whatthe coffeeshop about a week before the expected by anyone who read the ever. The music turns playfully, like the crowd event. composer's notes in the obscenely thor- at a suit and gown ball rushing by, and maybe, ough (enough to make my writing seem when all is said and done, you still go home unnecessary) program. Danielpour, it seems, Sex and Violins continued on page 15 by Jacob Thomas (not Tom Jacobs) Maryland Renaissance Festival 10 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . �Homecoming Lectu:re Review continued from page 8 Your Tasty Opinions: The Magpie the actions of the torturers at the Abu Gharib prison were also barbarous, Although I will confess to not being the greatest proponent of President Bush's actions in the "bringing Iraq to democracy," I felt that the numerous political references were not only unnecessary, but detracted from Mr. Weis_s's.~rgument. Mr. Weiss ought to have spent more time clarifying his "just not right" theory of human rights. In coming up with a verdict on the lecture, I found myself tom between two sides. I enjoyed Mr. Weiss's lecture as a thoughtprovoking study of the evolution of human rights; yet, I found myself disgusted with his biatant attempts at both political jabs and at forcibly convincing me to agree with his assertion that human :rights should be viewed pri.JIJ.ariJy with the "just not right" feeling in my heart. On the whole, I feel that Mr. Weiss was right when he argued "not [for] abstract discourse, but for the posit'illg of ideas against real events." 1fr. Weiss, an alumnus who has reached beyond the Great Books program to an amazing "real world" career, is certainly someone who has done his best to integrate both the abstract with the practical. In that sense, his lecture was great. are two methods of ensuring originality: vomiting and defecation. Of course, these servings are found repulsive. by John Peterson Staff Writer ...· Eve~ though~ am a ~ediocre chef, I am 1 \h,_yes,howJ savor these logoi: thH are c · c '· ,· . lik e t h e o f 1enngs 01 a poor co 11ege mn11lg -- ashamecho work m the kitchen. I barely even . h a11, w h 1ch 1oo k much 1·ke f oo d . vies, t h ere show my face-I think the manager takes 1 pity on me, and lets me create a dish every are all the necessary fruits, vegetables, soups, now and then. I am afraid of ridicule for steaks, and sauces, yet I always leave the eatsimplicity and end up mixing together too ery disappointed. I can make my own dish many clashing flavors. "-\las, I am not good and say it has transcended the one that I will enough to command the reverence of the soon dispense into the toilet. However I simple diners-they can do nothing new; alas, my know my fare for what it meal has been made before. is, and are aware of my I make the mere imitation disdain for their palate. of food, an arrangement of They just want to eat, it imitations, and add spices. seems. Investigative reports and I think everyone who reviews. Looks like a peach, works here knows that it maybe even smells like a is pretty poor stuff, but peach, but I bite and it is only most of them are happy the suggestion of fleshy into do it. The up-front nards-the sweetness, the ta:r..giness, all of people are content to do their jobs, and even the potency of its struggle and necessity to some of the guys back here have lost all their exist are lacking. It is like this peach tree had shame. Once I made the mistake of trying seen other peaches, but never was one. It to get them to make better food, but they gives us a basket of would-be peaches, bejust laughed at me and pointed out how cause we are supposed to have them. But I terrible mine was. One of the Latino cooks say to you, peach tree, are you really a peach was especially rude on that occasion. But he tree? was right-I do work here. We make some dishes ourselves. But how Order up, Salyer Salad. many ways can we put them together? There Lono Weekend I ~ I The B W1 Shuttle schedule I I for Long Weekend ! I (October 7th_f J1h) I ' is as follows: / Departure: Friday, October 3th 6:00 AM, 8:00 AM, and 11 :00 A~vf Pickup: Monday, October 11th 1:00 PM, 3:00 PM, and 5:00 PM 0 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 0 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • THE GADFLY . 11 �Stop Taking Yourself So F-ing Seriously: ''Little Lamb'' to Shepherd: Eat me. by Sean "The Devil" Valles Staff Writer Author's Nqte: The title of the column was not supposed to be changed to " ... Sucking Seriously" in last week's Gadfly, but due to the evils of spell-check programs that automatically change "mistakes" such as most profanity and the fact that I barely made my deadline by reading the article over only two times, I missed the misspelling. Basically, I want to assure everybody that I didn't decide to change my mind on the whole "f*cking" thing, nor did the editors pull a fast one on me. I am still pro-f*cking. OK, now it's time for the next installment. When I first scanned Jerry Salyer's article for it's subject, as I do with all articles before I read them, I was surprised to find that it is, in fact, me. I feel that an underlying complaint of his bears discussion. I was recently told by a friend that the primary flaw in my column is that I begin to take myself too seriously. I've thought it over at great length and I still don't really know how to respond to that in a convincing manner. But I can try to explain my reasoning. I am generally bored by my own opinions (I've just heard them too many times), but I can honestly say the things written in my columns are passionate opinions from an otherwise really laid-back guy. That does not mean I cannot alter or even reverse any opinion I have - something I have done before and surely will do again. It is certain that if I feel strongly about something I talk it over at great length with many people and eventually reached a hypothesis I can be proud of. The complaints I make here are primarily against those who either demonstrate poor effort of thought or do not deign to share those efforts before they make a public statement with at least as much self-confidence as I ever show in my comments. Take for example, Mr. Salyer's views on hedonism. Is hedonism necessarily crude? Is moderation in pleasurable activities possible? Mr. Salyer would have us believe that the answer to both is somehow obviously a 12 resounding "no." Mr. Salyer seems bound and determined to take every deviation from purposefully bland abstinence as a definite sign of moral and social decay.· I'm all about doing your own thing, but don't start giving sh*t to people who don't have the same lifestyle ideals as you. I mean, hey, power to the ascetic monks; they don't go around judging everybody else and/ or calling them "cocaine-addicts" like Mr. Salyer does. Having a good time is not a "misdirection of youthful energy." Heck, if history is any guide, it is the freakin' purpose of youthful energy. I am merely pointing out what I consider to be some of the more unique benefits provided by affluent societies; benefits which serve to counter-balance the negative aspects of many such societies. I know some people can only read a statement like that as being a wholesale approval of mental and physical dissipation. I say the cultural and economic system we live within all but demands we do almost exactly this. Workdays are getting longer, using vacation time precludes promotions at work, commutes are getting longer, and competition for even the worst jobs is high. Basically, most of us are not going to have a lot of "no worries" time after we graduate and enter the working world (or enter the shantytown of under-employment that surrounds the working world). Basically, there is much I and those in my age bracket/ economic bracket can do that we will not be able to do when we hit the road with our B.A.'s. You say Western Europe doesn't do this. I say the home of the 25 hour work week, the 200 day work year, and the siesta have something different going on. Personally, I prefer the less intense laissez-faire atmosphere toward work and play of Western Europe, but one cannot ignore the reality of present circumstances. Don't pretend Europeans are just more in accord with Aristotelian moderation. College-age excesses and experimentations are a necessary consequence of how this country operates, and college is the only time many of us will be free to be unbound and learn who we are. HI lived in the "cosi cosa" or "maiiana" type cultures of some places in Western Europe, I probably wouldn't be as inclined to go on the occasional (and I do mean occasional) bender, or to have sex on back campus (Note: no, I did not actually say that, just keep reading). The free life is a fleeting thing. Just ask your parents when they were told they had to start choosing a career path and life plan, I'll bet it was later than the timeframe your guidance counselor gave to you, and it's only getting worse. Despite what Mr. Salyer may think, I do not claim to be or even wish to be the "avatar" of anything. I do not support "getting blind-drunk and fall[ing] off balconies." I do support the validity of choosing, from time to time, to get half-blind-drunk and holding onto the ground to prevent falling off the earth. People choose to experiment in different ways and to express their freedom in different ways. I am personally more inclined to seek freedom by spontaneously traveling the world than by letting the monkey take control at the bar, but sometimes I just have to let go and maybe I don't have my bag packed. I am also not one of those people who go around shouting, "first amendment" at everything. I support free expression in a much broader and more fundamental sense. Just because Mr. Salyer might prefer (as he implies in his other related article last week) to "sit around a hearth sipping a snifter of Bushmill's and chatting serenely with friends," doesn't make him any more "mature," as he puts it. Ironically: a) he misspells "Bushmills," which has no apostrophe, and b) it is considered ver1 crass to drink scotch from a snifter; snifters are for brandy only. I just thought I should share that, because it amuses me when people can't even be snooty correctly. I can only hope that Mr. Salyer is kidding when he claims that I "splatter obscenities like hailstones" (Do hailstones really splatter?). I may use a good amount of profanity, but if we're going to judge writing styles, I contend that his obscure historical references and half-assed metaphors greatly outnumber my obscenities. 1\fr. Salyer, I find your completely black and white and moralistic attitude to be poorly founded. Stop taking yourself so f*cking seriously. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Film continued from page 4 bit more difficult. Previous attempts to make a St.John's movie, Mr. Zlotoff said, had fallen apart on the attempt to film a seminar. This simply doesn't work, because the behavior in the seminar will change when the students know they are being filmed, and, at any rate, enthusi. asm about semiffar .comes from participating rather than observing as an outsider. Instead, Mr. Zlotoff decided to film all the steps of preparing for a seminar, and intercut these clips with clips of people talking about why St. John's is so unique. Then, just as people come together for seminar and it is about to start, the movie will end, so that the seminar will exist in the viewer's mind. Another difference from the typical college video is that there will be no narrator, no "voice of the college" telling you what it is officially like. Like St. John's, the video will Homecoming contiuned from page 4 side them the tables are loaded with bread and meats, and from the mixing bowl the wine steward draws wine and carries it about and fills the cups. This seems to my own mind to be the best of occasions." Yes! Even if this best of occasions is tempered by the uncouth members of melee, with their illegible nametags affixed with ductape and their role as rude suitors, which they assume with a sort of incredulous glee, combined with a hint of awkwardness, perhaps the result of all the suits, ties, and patties of scalloped butter. One of the most notable aspects of the homecoming was the extraordinary degree of student involvement. The alumni office hired around 25 students encourage the viewer to discover things for himself. Something I found out about the project that really impressed me is that Mr. Zlotoff is doing it for free. St. John's is funding the film itself, but he is donating his time. That takes a lot of dedication. Mr. Zlotoff says it's worth it to him for two reasons. His_ St.John's experience has contributed a great deal to his career as a screenwriter and filmmaker~ he says. And making this film allows him to combine two passions, filmmaking and St. John's. It would be very difficult for a non-alum to do properly, he says, maybe even impossible. For aspiring Spielbergs, or Zlotoffs, how does one become a filmmaker out of St. John's? If you're Mr. Zlotoff, you write a script about cloning a couple of decades before anyone is ready to hear about it, and then tell your boss that you can do someone else's job better, proving it to him by showing him the cloning script. He actually did this, while working as a secretary on the soap opera "The Doctor" (a job he got through a St. John's connection) and for some reason, it worked; he became a writer for the show. His writing, apparently, is just that good. And what about MacGyver? Actually, the idea came from a seminar of sorts. Mr. Zlotoff had a problem, having been hired to write the pilot episode of a show whose"1dea was ·not really' workable. He needed an idea that would work before he could write it. So he called together all his writer friends to help him, and they came up with the idea of an "Everyman James Bond" who could use paper clips to defuse bombs, but was easygoing and self-deprecating rather than smug. The network liked the idea, and the show "ran by itself," Mr. Zlotoff says. "When in doubt, hold a seminar." to assist with preparations and registration. The decorations - rows of extraordinarily lifelike paper pillars, among other things - were made by the art society, and KWP lent costumes to melee. The film society, with a little arm-twisting from the Alumni office (according to Mr. Brager) played Oh Brother, where Art Thou? - attended by two or three alums, for most of the others were attending the banquet at the time. Jo Ann Mattson at the Alumni Office attributed much of this involvement - a new feature of homecoming - to the energy of Julie Janicki. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 13 �TO: All Freshmen, Sophomores, and Juniors FROM: Reenie Craven, Registrar There is no movie this Saturday due to long weekend. The following Saturday, 10/ 23, the SJC Film Society is bringin' it all back home wiTh TIE MISFITS ~\ ~ •. '4;.\ \ This is to remind you that first semester don rags will be held on: Saturd'!)', November 20 9:00 a.m. * - 6:00 p.m. Monday, November 22 ·.""' . ._.,_- -~ ._. 9:00.a.m. 't' - ..6:00 p.m:- =· _ Tuesday, November 23 9:00 a.m. * - 6:00 p.m. Wednesday, December 15 9:00 a.m. * - 6:00 p.m. Thursday, December 16 9:00 a.m. * - 5:00 p.m. Please note the dates on your calendar and keep the time free for don rags. It would be wise not to make travel plans that conflict with any of these dates and times. Thanksgiving Vacation begins at 6:00 p.m. on November 23, and Winter Break begins after seminar on December 16. All freshmen must have their don rags before Thanksgiving break. We will schedule some sophomore and junior don rags before the Thanksgiving break and the remainder before Winter break. Tutorials and laboratories will be cancelled on don rag days. However, tutors may schedule classes during this time. Seminars will continue to meet. Please note that Seminars will meet on Thursday, December 16. * On rare occasions, we may have to schedule don rags beginning at 8:30 a.m. Jews' Clues continued from page 3 to get plastic surgery. Maybe you think there should be special laws determining what Jews can and cannot do, but we disagree. Also: since 9 / 11 we have found ourselves becoming increrasingly popular. P.P.S. We just read your poem again. Still sucks. %Dear Jews' Clues: Can straight people get civil unions (you know, instead of marriages)? - 2kewl4tradition You make the acronym. Terribly Original Orangutan Llama Marmot: Agriosaurus Newt! Dear Amy "the T.0.0.LM.A.N." Taylor: 14 Please don't ask us to make our own acronyms. It was really hard to come up with an animal that started with A. Aardvark is too cliche and Antelopes are faygellas . Wait ... Alligator. Ant. Anaconda. Allisaur. Albatross. So it's not as hard as we thought, but we're sticking by our fake dinosaur name: the mighty Agriosaurus, which had the power of Kate Sullivan on a bad day and the intelligence of an article co-authored by Jerry Salyer, John Petterson, Nick Colten, and Sean Valles. Ooh, ooh, maybe they'll yell at each other! Maybe they'll keep yelling! Maybe nobody cares! -J.C. P.S.: Yes, they can. Shalom to Jerry Salyer, John Petterson, Nick Colten, and Sean Valles. You are our lifeblood. They can take our lives but they can never take ... our FREEDOM! Shalom to Chris Aamot. We don't know you. Hi. Shalom to my Dad. People say you're intimidating, but I never would. Because you'd hit me. Shalom to David Pritchard. We don't remember why. Shalom to Toph Stuart 'cause we stole your letter in our column. Mike Dobbyn's Question Quortier Mike Dobbyn~ Question of the Week: Is lecture not the most boring word? We should call it Friday Night Kick-ass Talking! Coming Next Week: The Senior Prank Jews ' Clue of the Week! . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . �Sex and Violins continued from page 10 alone (and yeah it's probably still raining outside), but life isn't even half perfect, and it isn't always great even when things are going well. Sometimes it's just good. The end comes out of nowhere, as if the dancers had lost track of the time. The first part of Brahms' Quintet in G, like much of his canon, marries romantic tQ~ality to a classical cadence and flourishes. If the last movement of the Debussy depicted a ball (that's a big if), then this was the music being played. It's the perfect soundtrack for pretending you're a courtier. The melodies are simple and graceful, the counterpoint honest and laid in the open; here is one voice, here is another. No swirls for sure, though certainly a driving, irresistible sense of motion. One gets caught up in it. I am a courtier, I am dancing, and this is all very, very pretty. The following adagio was sensual (in a Platonic sort of way), slippery, with a whole lot more curves than any part of any of the other pieces; easily capable of inspiring less than virtuous thoughts. The middle, however, slows briefly to a solemn, taffy pulling pace, tli'lifhumbfes an:y haughcy urges, and. leaves sinners and saints alike gazing at their shoes; heads bow instead of nod. This is brought back at the very end, leaving (on this occasion) the whole of Francis Scott Key auditorium suffering under a profound silence for more than just one hands worth of seconds. No one coughed. No one squirmed in their chair. By the 3rd movement, good as it was, I felt that the constant attention the piece asked of me was beginning to become a little unfair. The Danielpour rushed past me; I felt like I wasn't given enough time to digest all the information it threw at me. The Brahms just threw too much information at me. If one really cares to know what the second half of th:e 'quintet sounds •like, f suggest borrowing someone's copy of the program (which does it plenty justice), or simply jotting down to music library where I'm sure they have like a bazillion copies on vinyl. I've written way too much already. Gacff!y Funny Papers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 15 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 - -e # - _ .,. r" 1""')1 -Li O ..d _ _ DATE DUE I I )tes by Leo Pidiens Athletic Director "Health is the first muse." Emerson The men's football season won't turn out to be a Wave shoo-in after all, what with the Guardians' narrow defeat of league-leading Tsunami this past week on the gridiron. It was a defensive struggle all game long, with nei- ther team able to really put their potent offenses into gear. One of the main components of the Guardians' victory was the great play of their co-grinch, Mr. Dyer. J\fr. Dyer is also proving to be quite a force on the soccer field, and has demonstrated a willingness to play any position his team needs filled, from striker, to stopper, to goalie. For his great all around and selfless play, Mr. Dyer is named Athlete of the Week for the men. You just knew that after several big rains turned the southeast section of the lower field into Lake Gilliam, the play in that part of the field was going to be just downright foul and nasty. A few players have the fortitude to make the best out of such a mucky situation. And fewer still seem to actually take delight in the face of such muddy adversity. One such athlete in our midst is the Kunai Miss Ditzian, who downright claimed ownership over Lake Gilliam this past Friday in the women's soccer league. For her pluck and willingness to joyfully just plain old get down in it, Miss Ditzian is named Athlete of the Week for the. women. You Make the Call Once again, no one stepped up to answer last week's puzzler, and so another free trip to the bookstore went for naught. Anyway, it is not a hand ball on the part of the goalie ifhe touches it on the eighteen-yard line, as the line itself is part of the goalie box. And now for this week's teaser: A player in possession of the ball passes over the touch line or goal line without the ball to beat an opponent. What is the ruling? First one to me with the right call goes to the bookstore on me. You may leave your answer on my voice mail, x2558. IZunai Rebels Overthrow the Reign of Rain by Natalie Rinn Staff Writer What is it about soccer and the rain? What is it about playing soccer while wet that raises the vigor of an average soccer player to that of an untrained puppy? Perhaps it is the spirit of and attraction to rebellion, of doing what one conventionally should not. Whatever the source of this spirit may be, it was omnipresent on back campus last Tuesday. Twenty Kunai soccer women, their clothing super-saturated with rain and pasted onto their limbs and torsos like cling-wrap, and nary a despondent face in sight; perhaps there was one, but that too was washed away by the wave of exuberant and wild rebellion. "Stop play after one rain-soaked half?" suggested a reasoning Mr. Pickens. "Silliness! Not to be thought of!" was the excited, verging on despotic response from the Kunai rebels. ''We'll stay and play till the sheer weight of our clothing and cleats stops us!" And so they did. Freshman Jessica Perry, absentee star of the Jessica Perry Project, was present on Tuesday and took part in the rain-soaked rebellion. 16 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . With three quick goals, she discarded her roll as the star of her own Project and fell instead into that of leader of the rain-soaked rebellion. We, of course, are happy to take her in any form that she comes. As could be expected, Tuesday's rain turned the field of Friday's meeting into the pit of muddy despair. Kunai members morphed from untrained puppy rebels into some form of bird looking for a nice muddy bath. "Febbie Natasha definitely took one for the team," confessed Ms. Aitchisson in a post game interview, commenting on Ms. Febbie's unfortunate position in the left backfield, which forced upon her several full-body mud baths. Ms. Febbie did not shun these baths, however; she embraced them. As she flopped about in the muddy pit, reminiscent of a bird relieved to have a bath, her determination to win the battle for the ball only grew: All battle results aside, Ms. Febbie was the clear victor in all categories of mud-bathing form. Stand out star of Friday's game? Sophomore Kate Brubaker. Ms. Brubaker received a pass from her offensive comer, and executed a fine-looking two-touch goal. Such results for Ms. Brubaker have not, as of late, been uncommon. A strong player on both offense, defense, and in hustle, Ms. Brubaker means business, and she conducts it beautifully. The Political Forum Presents: Jim PeLura, Chairman of MD Bush/ Cheney '04 7; DATE DUE Mr. a1 WJ � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 16 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 6 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2004-10-06 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 6 of The Gadfly. Published October 6, 2004. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.6 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/1501b65234d3afe60fd9df18ab34fd5d.pdf 6e0814c87408d1e53f9a80c28919976a PDF Text Text ~ 1·· ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1~ nr1 1 1 1 r1 r111~1i1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 ~. T HE ·v·®'G-AD FLY The St. John} College Student Weekfy Volume XXVI, Issue 7 Eecture, Review: ''H·egel's Phenomenology and the Great Tradition'' . . . . . : Annapolis, Maryland October 19, 2004 Watching by Julie Janicki, Luke Jayapalan, and Cathy Keene Staff Writer, Staff Writer, and Business Manager, respectively Hegel labeled this primary being the Absolute, andhisprojectwasan "attempttoknowfue Absolute." Accorcling to Thomas Aquinas, the Picture this: It's 8:05 on a Monday night. primaiy being must be simple. Does this mean Your tutor, in her most high intelligence, has If anyone was secretly wishing for Mr. Higeura's lecture this past Friday to be pranked, only one thing can be said about it? Does it have no put forth a question of intimidating magnimultiplicity? How, fuen, can it act as a cause---of tude. After carefully thumbing through the text, that person's disappointment manyness? How many primaiy an idea begins to grow. Finding an appropriate was allayed by the pleasure of beings are there and why? silence, you start to talk. the lecture itself. Some may Lucretius posited atoms as fuepriAnd then you notice it. doubt whether even Hegel mary beings. How in the world The tutor's left eyebrow is twitching. understood Hegel, yet Mr. could he legitimately know how Quick, you think to yourself, figure out what Higeura made him seem many there are? Perhaps there you're saying that's inconsistent or illogical. Sisomewhat comprehenare forty-eight atoms, Mr. multaneously, you continue to talk and analyze sible-and this was his great Higeura suggested, eliciting a what it is you've already said, looking for the feat. His purpose was to fundamental flaw in your argument. It isn't until laugh from the audience. show Hegel's "powerful" These questions, Hegel be- a few seconds later that you tum to your second (though he would not "go lieved, had never been ad- tutor, and find that he has become absolutely so far as to say plausible'') equately answered. Plato sug- fixated with a point on the ceiling, as if the answers to a fundamental gests forms are the primary be- meaning of your words is hiding amongst the question of the "Great Traings, but he has no explicit ac- light fixtures. In abject humiliation, you quickly dition," and by presenting count ofhow fuey influence the finish whatever thought it was that you had, those answers humorously physical world. Indeed, because trying desperately to get to the end of your senand simply, he succeeded in Plato considers the physical tence, while bracing yourself for the onslaught. his purpose. Oh, God, where did I go wrong? world unintelligible, it seems He began by saying this lecture will consist of But, of course, in a fine example of comthat such an account would be impossible. The "my opinions about Hegel" It will be an "amateurish lecture'' and may even contain some ''howl- forms, therefore, do not help us grasp anything plex and subtle tutor/ seminar manipulation, ers." Itwill be, he continued, a straightforwai:dread- at all. Aristotle suggests his unmoved mover as the tutors don't actually say anything, no, not ingofa difficult text-:rather than anything contro- the primary being, but there are gaps in his ac- yet. It's the seminar that picks up your thought, versial I found this preface comforting, because it count, too. Is it the source of being? If not, it is examining it like an ugly puppy that may (or meantthatl, who have never read Hegel, was safe. not primary. If it is, how does it give rise to may not) grow up to be something cute. After I knew at this point that I would not have to deal manyness? Plotinus, whose ideas most ap- a few moments of realizing that perhaps you proach Hegel's, challenges the self-subsistence haven't ruined seminar, you sit back and the with the bewildering interpretation of a Specialist In thefu:stpartoffuelecture,lMr. Hlguera showed of Aristotle's unmoved mover, demanding in- dialectic proceeds. The conversation takes a turn down an un''how Hegel looks like he completes" the meta- stead something more universal than intellect. physical project begun by the ancients. The central Plotinus' "One" is radical unity. It is ineffable known path, and one of those nerdy guys in question of this project is, ''What is the primaiy and unintelligible, and that is Hegefs problem your core group starts to talk (you know, the being?'' On earth, we see dependent, perishable with it. His goal is to know the primary being, one who has anime tattoos?). You shrug off his comments, sure that he's going to bring up things. Does somefuing eternal underlie them? If not to confess ignorance ofit an analogy between the Matrix and free will so, can we understand it or speak about it? Tutor-watching continued on back page Hegel continued on page 6 by Daniel Schwartz Staff Writer �THE ...-GA·DFLY Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein Business Manager Cathy Keene --cPhotographe·r Clarke Saylor Contributing to this Issue Christopher Bartos Natalie Rinn Nina Carrieri Ervin Romero Nick Colten Jerry Salyer Erikk Geannikis Daniel Schwartz J.A.M. Judith Seeger Julie Janicki Jacob Thomas Luke J ayapalan Mary Townsend etc. :Miriam Keim Sean Valles Max Kronberg Stephan Zweibel Erin Owens Founded in 1980, the Gar!f!y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gar!f!y staff. The Gar!f!y reserves the right to reject or edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gar!f!y is not obliged to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Saturday at midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 Gadfly Mailbo:X: Apology To the polity, I would like to apologize for endangering the residents of Randall Hall through my negligent behavior. I may have lost many of my possessions, but losing my friends would have been far ).vurse,an_ci,the-fact that no~one was hurt I take as miraculous. I have learned something from this experience. It's apparent to me now that the administration does not allow smoking in the dorms for a very good reason. Please believe me when I tell you there are a lot of flammable things in your room. Sincerely, Stephen Zwiebel A Disappointed Reader Dear Readers of "Stop Taking Yourself So F*cking Seriously": There will not be a column this week, primarily because I saw nothing in the last issue of the Gadf!y worthy of public criticism (although I was baffled by John Peterson's new allegory about myself and perhaps other Gadf!Y writers tossing his metaphorical salad). That's all for now. Sincerely, Sean Valles SCI Minutes For Thursday, October 7, 2004 Present: Nora Kelleher, SCI chair, Miriam Keim, SCI Secretary, Paul Wilford, Sophomore representative, Luke J ayalapan,Junior representative, Chris Utter, Jr. Representative, Erin Hughy-Commers, Sr. representative, Josh Weinstein, Sr. representative, Jilian Sico, Sr., Liam Goodacre, Henry Magram, Erin McMullin, Sam Jones, Eric Klauss Discussed Seminar on Seminars Numbers of attendants: 14upperclassmen, 14 freshmen, 1 GI Mr. Klauss thought it went well but that it broke up too early There could have been more freshman participation in the discussion Timing could have been better Mr. Goodacre said there should be more advertisement Discussed the purpose of Seminar on Seminars Why isn't it mandatory? How are we to take ''Notes on Dialogue"? Topics discussed during the Seminar on Seminars What is a seminar for? What do you do when a topic keeps coming up and people are frustrated with it? Self-awareness and pride How we interact with each other . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Penultimate Pair of Algebra Exams Wednesday, October 20 at 7:30 p.m. Saturday, October 23 at 10:00 a.m. Mellon 206 and 208 Take your ID. �· -:~ computers exploding as well. We're writing this now with fifteen foot stick-like objects. We guess you could call them sticks. Yet, there are some good things to come out of this extraordinary fire. For one, it created a communal gathering that the excitement of which can only be compared to the Fourth of July, Columbus Day, Kwanzaa, and Fire Prevention Week rolled into one! It also brought much needed awareness td'·Fire Prevention Week; wiiich :· · ··=~. was the following week. Speaking of fire prevention, Jews' Clues presents the Jews' Clues Fire Prevention Tip of the Year: WALK OUT SIDE WHEN YOU A RE SMOKING YOUR CIGARETTE, YOU JERK. Note: The authors of Jews' Clues have not invented any of the questions written in to this issue. Note: We really, really, didn't make this one up. The letter, which we will repeat in its entirety, was sent via Campus Mail to Jews' Clues, care of Max Kronberg. Anyone who has any information about this letter, please contact: Aaron Brager Campus Mail Seriously. We're freaking out. Brest, le 17 aout 1995 Chere Anne, Je tenais a te remercier une fois encore pour le magnifique cadre en argent que tu nous as offert en cadeau de mariage. Nous le avons deja utilize ... pour exposer une photo du marriage! Grosses bises! Isolde The Jews' Clues CyberTranslatonomic 3000 machine, two months old and going strong, has produced this translation: BREAST! August 17, 1995 Dear Anne, I have to thank you once again for the magnificent silver picture frame that you gave us as a wedding gift. We have already used it ... to display a wedding picture! Love and kisses! Isolde Dear Isolde: Our names are not Anne. You're nine years too late. But we're glad you liked the picture frame. It was a gift to us, which we passed on to you. We received it for free when we applied for a new Visa card. So, did you dump that jerk Tristan yet? Tristan and ISOLDE!? GET IT? And their son, ACHILLES LUCRETIOUS REFERENCE! - J.C. Dear Jews' Clues: Can men be dykes? Sincerely, Sexy Amorous Monk Making You Take Huygens Extra More Intensely, Dude P.S. I think J.A.M. is like totally hot! Dear S.A.M.M.Y. T.H.E. M.I.D.: As we all know, a dyke is a bank usually of earth constructed to control or confine water. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, they have been since ancient times as "the boundary of lands or fields , as the fence of an enclosure, as the defense or part of the defenses of a camp, castle, town, or other entrenched place." We mentioned in the previous paragraph that a dyke is usually constructed of earth; however, it seems initially that it could simply be a man. Unfortunately, it can't be any man. Plato and Huygens, for example, hold water, while Aristotle and Ptolemy do not. We agree. Aaron Brager is like totally hot! -J.C. Jews' Clues Presents.. .. Ka.king Fu of st.eve Zwei~l, you bow, the kid who burned ltub.11 to the ground The fire was started when "someone" left a lit cigarette on a pile of matches, kerosene, and paper. Also hay. The computer simulateously exploded independently of the fire, which caused both the rumor that the exploding computer has started the fire, and us to be terrified of our This concludes making fun of Steve Zweibel. Shalom to Mitch Hoffman for his help running things on Saturday. Shalom to Freshman Jesse, who is terrified her name might appear in Jews' Clues. HA! Shalom to JP Mcintyre, for never giving up. Shalom to Chris Aamot for not writing a poem about us yet. Shalom to Yoko Ono for breaking up the Beatles. You bitch. Mike Dobbyn's Question Quorner: Would anyone come to a makeout party if I threw one? Send responses to Mike Dobbyn, Campus Mail Maryland Renaissance Festival Saturday October 23 including Jousting Tournament, Crownsville, MD Shuttle departs gym lot at 11:00 AM, returns to campus by 6:00 PM (First come, first seated). Tickets: $17.00 at the door, send ticket stub to Nina Carrieri for $7.00 refund. Rain or shine. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . THE GADFLY. 3 �Flu Shots and the Coffee Shop Adults and children 2 years of age and older with chronic lung or heart disorders including heart disease and asthma Strolling through the coffee shop one day Pregnantwomen after Seminar, I happened to notice a sign posted Adults and children 2 years of age and on one of the bulletin boards. It read, "F1u olderwithchronicmetabolicdiseases (including Shots available at Harrison Health Center. Free .. diabetes), kidney diseases, blooddisorders (such to students. $5 for faculfy and staff." The slgii.=' ~~s ~iihle cell aneffiia), orweakenedimmune syswas so innocuous it hardly caught my eye, except terns, including persons with HIV/AIDS for the fact that the word free was emboldened Children and teenagers, 6 months to and the paper was yellow. 18 years of age, who take aspirin daily Wait, free flu shots? Yes, if you hapResidents of nursing homes and other pened to see the same sign or ones similar to it chronic-care facilities aroun.d campus, you read correctly. Our nation Household members and out-ofis in the midst of a flu vaccine crisis and St John's home caregivers of infants under the age of 6 College is not only giving shots out for free, but months (Children under the age of 6 months giving them to relatively healthy college students. cannot be vaccinated.) Howard County in Maryland has canceled schedHealthcare workers who provide diuled flu clinics because it received less than ten rect, hands-on care to patients percentoftheexpectedamountofvaccine. The And what about those who should not reDistrict of Columbia has threatened to give pos- ceive the vaccine? sible jail time and up to a $1,000 dollar fine for "Healthypeople2 to 64years of age are asked anyone who administers flu shots to those who to postpone or skip getting a flu shot this year do not meet the Center for Disease Control's sothatavailablevaccinecangotoprotectt.hoseat (CDq standards of at-risk persons. So, what greater risk for flu complications." are those standards you ask? The following list If any of our students meet the previous comes directly from the CDC's web site about criteria then by all means, go and get a flu shot. the influenza vaccine: You are the priority in our nation for protection People 65 years of age and older againstinfluer1za. However, I would (at a generChildren ages 6 months to 23 months by Christopher Bartos Staff Writer ous estimate) say that about ten to twenty percent of the students meet those criteria; probably about the same or maybe a little bit more for the faculty and staff Ifour school purchased enough vaccine for 470 students that means they have over-bought 400+ vaccines that could potentially be used for those at a much higher risk than your average college student.· I honestly appreciate our school's attempt to make a healthy polity. I also commend them for not partaking in any unethical practices, such as price gouging the vaccine in light of the shortage. Living and studyi.11.g at close quarters does place t.he students at a somewhat higher risk of contracting influenza. However, the flu shot, when there is a shortage, is restricted to those who, if they do contract the disease, will have severe complications that could lead to death. Sometimes being secluded from the outside world is helpful to a Johnnie's studies. However, this is something we cannot ignore, because it involves the well-being of others. My hope is t.liat the polity will recognize t.11.at the majority of us probably do not need a vaccination and \vill forego or postpone the shot in order that someone else, such as a senior at ".\!inapolis Nursing and Rehabilitation or an expecting mother, might be able to avoid an avoidable, deadly disease. Another ''Lecture Review" Review by Nick Colten Staff Writer In reading Webster Ye's review of the Homecoming Lecture ("Human Rights From Antigone to Rosa Parks" by Peter Weiss), I was confused by bis "verdict on t.h.e lecture." After praising :Mr. Weiss for a "thought-provoking study of the evolution of human rights," Mr. Ye wrote: "I found myself disgusted v,,j_th his blatant attempts at both political jabs and at forcibly convinci..ng me to agree with his assertion that huma.'1 rights should be viewed primarily with the 'just not right' feeling in my heart." This statement of fl.fr. Ye struck me as odd in several ways. First, regarding the "political jabs"-which earlier j\fr. Ye referred to as "overt attacks on the current Presidential administration's actions"-what exactly made them jabs/ attacks? \Vas it a matter of tone or of substance? I recall j\fr. Weiss sounding indignant while speaking 4 of the Bush administration's condoning torture; this seems an entirely appropriate response by anyone concerned with human rights. Would it have been better had he spoken of such u.liings in a casual tone? Were IVIr. Weiss' cornments slanderous? "\gain, t.lie Bush administration's v,Tillingness to condone and even engage in torture is supported by memos that the Defense and Justice Departments have drafted, in which inflicting pain to a degree less than that of the pain that accompanies death or major organ failure is considered permissible-just so long as the pain is not inflicted for its own sake, but in order to extract information. In what way were Mr. Weiss comments political? Was it because he made reference to contemporary events? In another section of his review; j\fr. Ye applauds i\fr. Weiss for his avoidance of"abstract discourse" in favor of "the positing of ideas against real events." Isn't the torture at Abu Ghraib a real event? Isn't right to consider in when thinking about human rights? I can Tu.-iderstand that speaking about current events may be more contentious, but with regard to the promotion of human rights, it seems those events matter the most. lVU:. Weiss spoke of Rosa Parks. Was doing so political? Had he been givi..ng a lecture on hu..'Uan rights forty-some years ago and mentioned her, I would certainly say yes; but perhaps now; in 2004, tbs is not the case. If so, than Rosa Parks can almost be talked about like Antigone-that is, as an abstract. Regarding :Nir. Weiss' "blatant [attempt] at ... forcibly convincing me to agree with his assertion that human rights should be viewed primarily with the 'just not right' feeling in. my hearc," I'm not sure what to make of that statement. Is Mr. Ye claiming that he felt railroaded-like a Socratic interlocutor? Or was i\fr. Ye really convinced that human rights must . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Review continued on back page �Sex and Violins by Jacob Thomas Staff Writer Though the great hall was full, there weren't an awful lot of students at the Hayden Trio Eisenstadt's noon concert on the 4'\ and two weeks later there are prob'aBly a fot less wlicnemember mucli ofanything about it. It was good though, the audience got our money's worth. The only reason the performance wasn't reported on earlier was this past week's utter lack of a Gadfly, due of course to long weekend. Putting the writing of the article off for a week was fine with me (putting the writing of anything off for any length of time generally is), since I had long ago planned to take the four day break as a gift and travel to Rhode Island for the sake of seeing the little lady and making her roommate uncomfortable/ sleep somewhere else. The hell ifl was going to skip my chance to sip coffee-milk at Providence's legendary ·waterfire (they have funnel cakes too) and spend a Saturday night in my girl's arms writing some concert review that no one's going to read. Even for a concert of this caliber. The HTE, for what it's worth, are a relatively young, good looking, well-dressed ensemble. Even the page turner was cute, though I couldn't get a really good look at her since the pianist blocked my view for much of the show. The belief that the majority of its practitioners are something less than eye-candy is one of the enduring cliches of classical music. It tends, however, to come with the companion cliche (perhaps started by the same performers it references) that most musicians more than make up for their lack of looks in sprezzatura. It is naturally a good idea, then, for those inclined to fall in love easily to avoid concert halls whenever they are blessed by artists possessing both skills and physique - especially if Beethoven is being performed. The HTE performed Beethoven. First, however, as to be expected was a piece of Hayden, specifically the Trio in E flat Mcifor. I must confess that I've never been the biggest fan of Hayden or the classical school in general, and this sad fact was naturally to weigh on my judgment of the piece. Hayden did his best work later in his career (I prefer his blue period, though it was all of a consistent quality), the 101" symphony, for example, and I was happy to see a piece from '97 on the play bill. The strings played a supporting role for much ofthe trio, as was expected, while the pi~~; dropped glistening runes and lines that at times sounded as though they were almost capable of standing on their own weight. He possessed, in addition to the natty threads, a keen sense of dynamics, and really knew how to play the room. This was of special importance in the great hall, which seems fit only for pianoforte, and where a careless hand could have easily overpowered, if not drowned out the string players. The other two really worked the space between their notes, playing with their bodies when their bows were resting, fully aware of the percussive qualities of their respective parts. These physical displays were not done out of some sense of showmanship. They were, in fact, wholly unrelated to the posing rock musicians have a tendency to engage in. Perhaps I bought the act, but it seemed unconscious or, at least, not for the sake of anyone in the crowd. The violin and cello were actually handed a few opportunities to take the lead in the Beethoven, and the resulting call and response was exceptional, due in large part to the pianist's aforementioned ability to gracefully rise and fall in volume as needed. The Ghost Trio is far too rich a work to be done any justice in the space I have here (likewise the HTE's interpretation), but the slow movement deserved special attention. Here the piano deftly takes a solely secondary role, but for the exception of one profoundly moving passage where it again steps out front. In this expressive moment one can hear, if they cock their head to the left in just the right way, the deep waters that were to become a spring which everything from Chopin's Preludes to Borodin's chamber music would tap: a flower grown from all that isjn!rinsically sa~ in _tl}£~o~ld, bud-. ding and blossoming for the remaillcier of . the largo, crumbling away in a breeze at the end. I heard a few sniffles coming from up front and was ready to assume that someone in the first few rows was losing a battle with the common cold until the movement's conclusion, when the ensemble stopped briefly before the presto so the violinist could wipe her nose and dry her eyes. For an encore they dedicated a (surprise) Hayden encore to the women from the World Artists Experience who brought the trio to America and St.Johns (I failed, unfortunately, to catch her name), and who will be bringing more performers later in the semester. I also didn't catch the name of particular trio the piece was pulled from (apparently I have trouble with Austrian accents), but it was very simple, and sounded as early as their spokesman in the pianist said it would. It made me think about the girl, and how glad I was that in three days I would get to see her after a month alone. Just that; a simple thought inspired by a simple piece of music, but one very welcome. The Political Forum Presents: SUPREME COURT RULINGS ON GUANTANAMO DETAINEES & "ENEMY COMBANTANTS" a discussion lead by Steve Thomas SF'74 5:00 PM Wednesdqy Oct. Conversation Room 2rr . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Hegel continued from front page Hegel wanted to fill in the g-aps of these earlier a..'1.swers with a rational account Since multiplicity, he began, must have come from unity as such, u.'lity must be multiplicity. It must be self-othering. Indeed, only through being another can somethi..rig be one, since by its nature, Hegel says, "the selfidentical divides itself into two." One makes itself the many, :.\fr. Higeura synopsized. 'That's just words.!" he brokeiri, eli<:iting anotherlau,gh~be~e comforting us that Heger realizes that ~e~ oe confused, since we are not really ready to grasp the Absolute yet The argument is one of logical necessity: you cannot thi..flk of the One without thinking that it is many. Start with the thought of being. Try to think it and you will find that it is i..'1distingui.shable from the thought of non-being. (I did not quite understand this stepin:tvfr. !-Egeura'srestatementof Hegel's argument) "What we need, therefore, is a concept that expresses how the two, being and non-being, are both opposed and united T'nat concept is beCO!I'.ing. (Becow..ir.ig, like being, will slip through one's fingers, leading one do"'711 a lor.g road of selfotheri..ng concepts.) Hegel claims to surpass earlier thinkers in that he goes on to give an account of how the self-othering of the one takes place. Combining elements from Plato's forms and from Aristotle's intellect, he claims that being is mind, and that self-impressing thoughts on the mind rr..ake fuemind determinate.After briefly describing Hegel's account of negativity, Mr. Higuera described his argument that the self can find itself only in ki-i.owing not-I. This brings us to vmati\fr..Higerua described as the main assertion of Hegel's preface: the primary being is self-consciousness. In striving to know its~ it must know its negative. In the second pa...1: of the lecture, ]\fr. Hgeura related these ideas to their Biblical sources, to the doctrines of emptying a.D.d of the crucifucion in par- ticular:'"God," Hegel says, "is a movement ofitself which empties itself of itself" In this way, as in the crucifucion, the Absolute, by creating the world, has brought about its own death. God created the world through self--0thering; therefore, hehad to die. The self-emptying of t.h.e Absolute takes time. j\fr. !-Egeura compared it to the growfu of an embryo into an adult God only completes himselfby reaching self-consciousness in the vety end~erything before then is a process towards that end. c TheAbsolute, or Spirit, reaches its frill.est manifestation in human history. Spirit labors to empty itself into time. The last stage of this process is science or contemplation. At this stage, Spirit knows itself as Spirit. God, therefore, only becomes fully self-conscious in a human being. }.fr. !-Egeura offered some concluding comments. 1bis account of history, he said, "does not mean that Hegel is God" Hegel will die; only the whole persists. Hegel is merely the means which fue Absolute uses to know itself Ne.'{(", Mr. J-Egeura noted that Hegel has abandoned a primary being which is simple, since everything about the whole is necessary. The Phenonenology of Spirit, therefore, is the account of the appearing of Spirit. Can we really understa.rid Hegel's account, though? Certainty of the Absolute only comes through successful reenactment of the process of history. We should, therefore, stop thinking about the Absolute and start reenacting it. lvfr. Higeura's lecture was remarkably accessible for a brief introduction to Hegel The audience, I think, followed him through to the end, because he never pretended to have mastered what seems incomprehensible to most people. His relaxed and humorous speaking style, combined with that simplicity of presentation, held my attention and left me feeling that I had spent my Friday night profitably. Whis'9 by Ervin Romero I crave whisky In a heavy glass, On the rocks, Spicy like a perfume. I holdthe glm;s:closetGmy knee Until I feel a chill through my fingers. Then, I know to drink. The ice and the Canadian blend Have both dissolved, Have become involved. My lips and the very Tip of my tongue Taste a mixture of roses , Honey, an.d something else. What else is there On a Wednesday afternoon In a gambler's minimalist room, But a silky burn singeing The back of my throat And a wry comment? Su..'1day, October 24: Kennedy Center Chamber Players Open St. An_ne's Concert Series The Kennedy Center Chamber Players begi..'1 the new season on Sunday, October 24 at 4 p.m. The intimate SaD.day-at-4 p.m. concert showcases the group's musicianship and the grandeur of the music itself. The KCCP will perform Johannes Brahn1s' Clarinet Trio in.A millor, op. 114, Sergei Prokofiev's Sonata for 2 violins, Op. 56 and"A...ntonin Dvorak's Piano Octet, op 81. i\ll of the KCCP musicians are members of the Kennedy Center's National Symphony Orchestra. Thanks to the generosity of t..11.e Reynolds Tea Room (across Church Circle from St. },1111e's) there will be a post-concert reception, at which patrons may meet the Kennedy Center Chamber Players. Student tickets range from $10-12. Call 410-263-1906 **Cu"npus mail your ticket stub to Nina Carrieri and receive $3.00 back.** 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gin by Ervin Romero The tangy lime that basks Upon the rocks that cut mv drink Was brought from the fields, Out where the sun is king. J The sunburned hand of a sunburned man, Hand that once plucked boleros For a girl more beautiful than fair, Picked her from in between some languid leaves And tossed her into a basket. I took one from a pile of many, Squeezed it not very hard, Sniffed it once around, And dropped it into a bag with two others. �Have you ever walked into the music library and been unable to decide what to check out?! Here are some suggestions from the people who work down there. I D'W-ight Kr1oll The Quintet CD 653 Jazz at Massey Hall Mahler CD 1087 Symphony #1 in Dmaj "Titan" CD 285 Water Music/ Music for Royal Fireworks Handel I Cello Suites CD 1234 Bach I Elijah Ferbrache F:abio Lo111elinocc CD 1265 Getz/Gilberto CD 1283 Quartets Getz and Gilbert Villa-Lobos CD 1126 CD 828 CD 1228 Chant Corse MassinBmin "Triumphs of Oriana" Various Bach I Fagiolini Shoshana Goldstein I Laura Greenwold LP9290 CD 1070 Flute Sonatas Cello Concertos 1 & 2 Bach CD574 CD 1281 Te Deum Magnificat, Berliner Messe Piano Works Vol. 2 Arva Partj Debussy! Haydn :I . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �Conversation by Mary Townsend, et. al. What you have before you is the work of five St.John's students. The names have been excised for the comfort of all involved. The song they discuss may be at times vulgar, but it has merit as both a phenomenon and a work mitself Please don'ttake this too seriously. We certainly don't. Fri, 8 Oct 2004 15:44:43 -0400, A wrote to B, C, D, and E: Subject: What does this song mean? What does 'Hey Ya' mean? I attach the lyrics for your convenience. OUTK.A.ST LYRICS "Hey Ya", [Intro] One two three uh! [Verse One - Andre 3000] My baby don't mess around Becauseshelovesmeso And this I know for shooo.. Uh, But does she really wanna But can't stand to see me Walk out the dooor.. Don't try to fight the feelin' Because the thought alone is killing me right nooww.. Uh, thank god for mom and dad For sticking two together 'Cause we don't know hooowww. .. UH! [Chorus:] Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa.. (etc.) [Verse Two -Andre 3000] You think you've got it Ohh, you think you've got it But got it just don't get it Till' there's nothing at AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaallllll.. We get together Ohh, we get together But seperate's always better when there's feelings InvooooooOOOOOOOlved If what they say is "Nothing is forever" Then what makes, Then what makes, Then what makes Then what makes, Then what makes LOOVVEEE? (Love the exception) So why you, why you Why you, why you, why you are we so in denial 8 When we know we're not happy heeeerrreeee... Y'all don't want me here you just wanna dance [Chorus] [Bridge - Andre 3000] Hey, alright now Alright now fellas, (YEAHO Now what's cooler than bein' cool? (ICE COLD!) I can't hear ya' I say what's cooler than bein' cool? (ICE COLD!) whooo... Alright, alright, alright, alright ... Ok now ladies, (YEAH!) And we gon' break this thing down in just a few seconds Now don't have me break this thang down fornothin' Now I wanna see y'all on yall baddest behavior Lend me some suga', I am your neighbor ahh here we go! Shake it, shake, shake it, shake it (OHH OH) Shake it, shake it, shake, shake it, shake it, shake it (OHH OH) Shake it, shake it like a Polaroid Picture, shake it, shake it Shh you got to, shake it, shh shake it, shake it, got to shake it (Shake it Suga') shake it like a Poloroid Picture [Verse Three - Andre 3000 (Repeating "Shake it" in background)] Now while Beyonce's and Lucy Lui's And baby dolls, get on the floor (Get on the floor) You know what to dooo.. You know what to dooo .. You know what to do! [Chorus] human context in which to form these learning relationships-no city or parents to enforce custom-and they've been too spoiled to actually sacrifice their own petty desires for their beloved's desires/ teaching. "Thank god for Mom and Dad / for stickin' two together / cause we don't know how." Their alienation and the sharp frustration cif their real desire for balance reach a peak when they're so wrapped up in trying to do the "right thing" by each other that they can't even have sex, as at least Mom and Dad could. (Nota bene: Mom and Dad emphatically did not "stick together." It is precisely this fact that teaches our generation about the importance of wholeness /balance/ real love.) The whole twisted nonsense gives way to a wild and very sophisticated (that is, self-conscious) sexual abandon. It's all very ironic, this orgy, since that adds to the pleasure-hence the polaroid picture, ice cold, I am your neighbor, the entire music video etc. And this is where I can't decide about the current attitude towards sex. Yes, it is free of bullshit. No false morality wreaks havoc here. But it might just burn itself out apocalyptically. There's no guarantee of progress just because it's happened so rapidly since the Renaissance. "Yeah, we get together," the kids say, "and it's certainly direct and forceful, our sex. But separate's always betterwhen there's feeling involved." I can't decide how heavily to weight the disavowal of Love. The song's powerful upbeat tone can't be wholly ironic, I want to say, hopefully. But we might just be witnessing mini Tiberiuses and Caligulae in the molding. Think Paris Hilton and Barbara Bush. On Sat, 9 Oct 2004 02:02:53 -0400, B wrote: I'm tempted as usual to read it as a pretty profound statement of how young people view the difficulty of making a place in this confusing and massive world in which we find ourselves. It's about the difficulty of love/ commitment/ stability for most kids our age. The funny thing is that they really can identify pretty presciently their strong dissatisfaction with the unstable, turbulent relationships that they have and that are idealized for them (Friends, Sex in the City, etc.). But they have no . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . On Sat, 9 Oct 200411:13:27 -0400, A wrote: Subject: Re: What does this song mean? But why is the song so good? Why is it so happy? It does have a Dorian feel in its main phrase 555-444; 555-333-111. The 5-4 sounds like 3-2 because you hear it at first as a major phrase. But then it goes into a triad that could be either Dorian or plain minor; my gut feeling is for Dorian because it's sober and serious, not just sad. Make of that what you will. So, the gmail sponsored links are giving me �there "Is www.everystudent.com.'' a God? On Sat, 9 Oct 2004 11 :56:04 -0400, C wrote: Yeah, it's about a guy who wants to have sex with a girl, but she wants a more serious relationship. He is not in favor of this. I mean, read it as profundity if you want, and it's clearly very self-aware and ironic, but this guy is trying to coil'Vinteagi"ihtfatfove isn't all it's cracked up to be, and banging should ensue. I guess I can see what B's saying, but "don't want to meet your daddy /just want you in my Caddy/ don't want to meet your momma/just want to make you cumma" kind of telegraphs the simpler interpretation one might expect from the author of "Spread". Now, about the musicDorian? This shit ain't modal. It's goddamn I-IV-V-vi, basic rock structure with a deceptive cadence tacked on to make things interesting. On Saturday, Oct 9 2004,A wrote: The chords aren't modal, obviously, but the melody is. That's why it's so cool, because you have these very harmony chords but a more modal melody. The verse goes 6-5 3-3-4-3-2-1-2 3-4-3-2-1-2-3-4-33333 .... which is totally modal, making the 3 sound like it's the root for a while. Only modal music plays around with that interval in that way. I know the 'caddy/daddy' argument was waiting right there to be made, but based on the other lyrics, like 'thank god for mom and dad' as well as 'not happy here' make it necessary to try and figure out where the various ironies all point to. We should keep in mind that the video has all these different characters saying the different (somewhat contradictory) parts. Are you reading the first verse as the girl wanting the more serious rel.? Because I thought it was about cheating, which is another ballgame I still think it's important that it's got such a ... happy... groove to it. Despite the seriousness of the modal melody. All the conflicting ironies (I hope) have got to be pointing to something that makes that part of it meaningful, because that groove is its most obvious appeal. D? E? On Sat, 9 Oct 2004 23:48:35 -0400, D wrote: It's part of Andre 3000's The Love Below message, addressed to the youth, specifically black hiphop culture. The Love Below, as articulated throughout the CD, is an ethos about following a funky, soulful sexual drive into a sexy-because slightly dirty and lustful-monogamous relationship. It claims this role for sexual desire because it ties in psychological elements to the frankly bodily elements of desire, but it establishes the locus of activity for right judgment at the crotch. So there's a love ballad to his wife, which-if I remember correctly___..:._enthuses that the sex :is-as good as casual sex. There's "Roses", about the trifling bitches who look good and are physically appetizing but are actually a tum-off, at least in retrospect (They smell like boo-boo). A funny thing is that I always heard the line "we know we're not happy here" as "you know we're not heavy here". Then there's the pause and the song launches into what I now understand as the "orgy of release" in the song, per B. It's there so that everyone can yell and shake it and wear themselves out before the end of the song. Andre's giving the dancing people what they want, but it may be that he slips in another senrron. ''What's cooler than being cool?" (ICE COLD) could mean "if you get any cooler, you're dead to the world". Part of the appeal of Outkast (especially to white people) is that they're black hiphoppers who aren't afraid to look (or sound) silly. The song (and the album) is fun and happy because it doesn't deal with the formulaic (serious) hiphop themes (sexual prowess, criminal prowess, physical menace, rhymin skillz, chivalric romance, and martinet-style dance instruction for women). It's not a serious love ballad, but a silly love-inspired dance song. On Sun, 10 Oct 2004 00:01:12 -0400, Dwrote: Further clarification: because The Love Below reposits love in the physicality of sex, Andre is indeed being honest about the caddy and the daddy. By martinet-style dance instruction for women, I meant of the "put yo ass on the flo" variety. Hey-Ya, then, is another Love Below sermon, or life-lesson, along the lines that B suggested. It begins with the singer worrying about whether his girl doesn't fool around on him only because she doesn't want to lose him. He On Date: Sun, 10 Oct 2004 00:13:52 can't fight the feeling of jealousy (as irrational), 0400, A wrote: To support D's understanding of daddy/ because the thought (of the possibility) alone is killing him. He doesn't know how people caddy, we should remember that after all stay together. Pretty standard stuf£ Trials of Andre 3000's quite pointed arguments, he love. Perhaps a monogamous relationship is says, before all the dancing call-outs, 'y'all don't want me me here, you want to dance'. not worth the trouble. Andre 3000 then sets out to establish the I take this to mean that he recognizes that existence oflove for his audience. Players "think he's been sermonizing, and knows that he's they got it"; that is, they think they're getting going to have to speak in a different way their fill of sexual satisfaction, ''but got it just from here on out. I think that while he is don't get it till there's nothing at all"=they will honest about and places high significance in find no repletion. Andre and the physicality of love, in this spot he is his girl have sex, oh, they they're "getting it", being ironic, for the sake of and at the exbut "separate's always better when there's feel- pense of the Beyonces and Lucy Lius. ings involved" means, I, guess, that their postcoital lives are better because of their love for On Sun, 10 Oct 2004 00:19:25 -0400, A each other. Those who doubt the existence of wrote: By the way, the reason why this is so imlove say "nothing lasts forever'', but love is an exception. So, in summation, Andre 3000 coun- portant is that this song is one of the best sels his audience to acknowledge that they are arguments we currently have that art is not in a state of denial about the possibility of dead. (I know you like Brittany, C, but even love. This is the source of their unhappi- so... ) ness. (To be continued in next week's Gadfly.-Ed) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �Down and Out in America obvious that I am not only a great warrior, but am in touch with regular "-\mericans. I am a "man for all seasonings," just like that guy Thomas Beckett Orwell: Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I am (Frowns uncertainly.) Or maybe I'm thinking of Thomas Kinkaid .... or maybe Roger Moore. AnyGeorge Orwell- you may have heard of meand I have been resurrected to host a hypotheti- how, in these tough times we don't want a Frenchcal talk-show. Here with me and my studio audi- fried geek in charge. America needs a real dressing to -ence.are presidential-candidates G. W Bush and pout over its Caesar salad-that real dressing is me, John Kerry, who are the two possible choices to not some kxal, nO-OUb version like what the lefties vote for, out of a nation of 300 million. Wel- put on their bean sprouts and spinach. Weenie, come, gentlemen. Weedy, Weechie. Orwell: Ah. Hmm.How... interesting. Well, Mi Bush: Thank you. It's great to be here with the fine American who did that scary radio play. Kerry? Youtremarks. Kerry: He's British, you knuckleknob---you're Kerry: As a thoughtful liberal, I ask hard questhinking of Orson Welles. tions, like: Is this anyway to run a Leviathan? Where does the President get of£ demolishing foreign naBush: I'm not a knuckleknob, you are. Kerry: No, you're theknuckleknob. tions without getting cool blase Europeans to sancBush: No, you are. (They begin poking each tion it? Compare Mr. Bush's Hop-a-Long Cassidy foreign policy with how things were handled when other.) Orwell: Gentlemen! Please! (They stop.) Let us my party held power. Consider Yugoslavia: Michael hear the candidates' opening remarks. Moore didn't need to attack out wars because out (They flip a coin to see who will start. The coin is imperialism exudes liberal sensitivity. Did 1-fr. Moore fair-and-balanced: Bush wins.) makeamovierevealingthe''Setbgmocideprogram" Bush: My fellow .Americans. United, We Stand. as a spin-doctored fabrication? No-he's not a man (He pushes back his chair and stands up, then looks to obsess about details. Did he do an expose on at Orwell and Kerry, expectantly. They stare at him. how we helped Albanian Muslims and Iranian He sits back down.) We learned from 9-11 that if mujahadeen establish multi-ethnic, Western-style you go steamrolling around the world, sooner--or- democracy in Bosnia? No-no need to "expose" later somebody is going to start resentingyout free- success. Did he make a movie about Albanian PAC dom. So I said, ''Bring it onl If it takes every last money put in Democratic re-election coffers? Ncrdrop of American blood, I'm going to protect it's their money, and it's a free country. Did he make Americanlives."Butlalsosawhereathomewehad a movie scrutinizingwhetherwe targeted selectively to shield bystanders from all the crazy foreigners and spared civilians? No-again, no need. Trust who now hate my guts, so I sponsored measutes J. me, Bill Clinton's generals could hit the broad-side Edgar Hoover used to fantasize about when he of a barn- the broadsides oflots of barns, in fact dressed up in ladies' underwear-only in his day (Pause.) there were no vaporized skyscrapers he could justify Orwell: ..... such legislation with. (Somewhere in the (A lonely cricket in the back of the studio gives Netherworld,]. Edgar Hoover adjusts his signature out a sad little chirp.) cotton demi-bra, looks down on the United States, Kerry: Mr. Bush thinks it's about America setand smiles benignly.) When they hold power, tingitself up as the sovereign of the planet I say it's Democrats expand government- typical liberal about the U.N. setting itself up as the sovereign of mentality. But I focus on improving what we al- the planet Mr. President, there is no 'T' in "global ready have: out Defense Department was bogged hegemony." If you were a thoughtful liberal, you down defending other countries from the people would understand coalition-building, you would who live in them, so I added a Homeland-Defense study history and ask yoursel£ Where would the Department, to make out secutity complex more Romans have been without Spaniards, Gauls, efficient; like having a spoiler on yout car. Another Goths? Where would the British have been withexample: I streamlined theAmericorps program of out GungaDin? Youthinkyou'retheLoneRanger, my tax-and-spend predecessor. So now, instead of Mr. President, yet you forget that the Ranger wasn't wasting taxpayers' dollars,Americorps spends them really Lone-he had his faithful little-red-buddy at staging fire-safetypuppet shows for 3-year-olds and his side. This is a multi-player video game, Mr. recruiting young people to work in tourist farms. President, but you've been hogging the controller. Programs like these-plus the fact that I talk like my Let the Krauts and the Frogs have their tum. They're brains are made out ofre-fried guacamole-make it pretty good at smashing up civilizations, too---if by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer 10 you'd just give them a chance. In any case, when pursuing non-existent weapons-of-mass-destruction, and cowing nations whose militaries couldn't get at Luxembourg, much less threaten the U.S., you should only use violence as a last resort. And domestically, for the anxious man-on-the-street, whose world has become unrecognizable, well, I'm notjustguaranteeiH.gprQ~l:y, Thatanxiousman will also get the best art, culture, and heritage that tax money can buy. Orwell: Ah. Ahem. Well. Er. .. Mr. Bush. Could you speak about education? Bush: Ab-so-lutely. For hours. (Pause.) Oh, right, ofcourse, I see. (Frowns.) Um ... more rigorous standards: need 'em. Kids must be taught the skills thatwill help them deal with the challenges of the real world. Skills like, ''Whenin doubt, mark 'c"' -and- ''Keep in mind that if you forget to put yout social security number on the exam, you will receive a 'zero' for the semester." That's the way to reassure out kids, and out parents, and out grandparents, and out grandparents' kids, that out kids get the quantity education they deserve, so they can grow up to be the very smartest kids in the world. Orwell:Ah,hmm. Ah ... howinteresting. Anything else? Bush: Yes .. .I want to support home schooling and religious school&---it's critical we provide money and supervision to assist people who want to get their children out of the clutches of the government Orwell: Ah. Well Er, Mr. Kerry? What is the Democrats' top priority in education? Kerry: Tolerance. Literacy is important, tocrbut mainly, tolerance. Orwell: Could you articulate that word? Kerry (Husky French accent): Toh-lay-rons. (Bush andOrwellstareathim.) Ah,right Tolerancemeans creating a climate where people who think unprogressively about sex, gender, immigration, and religion can be assigned really nasty labels, so they'll keep their hatemongering mouths shut. Or at the leastwecan teach theiryoungto be embarrassed of them. With public education, and cable TV, tolerance will march through the land- no, through the world, we'll smash intolerant beliefs wherever we find them. We work for that bright day when intolerant people are afraid to show their faces in public. Orwell: Oh. Er, do you have a retort, Mr. President? Bush: His notion of education is "hogwash"- as we say in a little place called Texas. Orwell: And? So what is it, in truth? Define it for me, please. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~c,,,_--c �man of today, bravely defying the System's maBush: (enthusiastically) Define Texas? Why, nipulation by staring into space, chain-smoking, it's the root'nest, toot'nestand drinking gallons of Mountain Dew .... Orwell: No, no----define "education." (winces, clutches his hair) ahh- I think the Man's Bush (disappointed): Oh. Well. Um, it's zapping me with psychic rays right now, hard to studying hard, in order to get ahead in life. concentr- urk... (Relaxes, reflects.) Or maybe Orwell: And what does it mean, "to get ahead the migraines are back. Perhaps I should go back on my meds- but then I have good reason to in life"? Bush: Well, for example, look at you... no suspect they're really CL\ mind-control pills .... _ offense, you seem a nice fella, but not 1 out of10 Orwell (laughing nervously): Ha ha, of " - -f6ik~ gi~es i fi.ve~dayold cowpie ~b;~~ whatev~i: '-wtirse. ::one ciin never be too careful (Uh; secu''books" you wrote a long time ago, you're no- rity? Hel-loo?) body-whereas me? Well, even college students Salyer: Oh, and I almost forgot--Soylent who hate my guts know me. They study my Green is made out of-(the guards finally everywordl'm asuccess---unlikeyou. Uh,again, awaken, sedate him, and drag him out. The no offense. cricket chirps again, sadly.) Orwell(Blinking.):Ah,well. Er,nonetaken. Orwell: (sighs) Ah ... let's conclude: what's (An interruption- Mr. Salyer staggers forward, the difference between your parties? obviously drunk, eyes bloodshot, toting a Bush: That's easy. He's liberal, I'm conservawhisky glass full of cheap brandy.) tive. So he believes the federal government Salyer: It's as you predicted!!! Only worse!!! should have absolute dominion over people's The End is Nigh!! The Man doesn't want any- lives. While I love freedom- that's why I have one to know what the fluoridation in the water championed new Patriot Acts. With these we is really supposed to do to you- luckily I'm canmonitorourcitizenstomakesurethey'refree around to reveal the truth and save the world! all the time- 24 / 7. We don't believe liberal bigSomebody pay attention to me, dammit! I'm government should control people, no, sirreean enlightened post-modem prophet-just like Straussian puppetmasters should control people. Kerry: Conservative slander-liberals do not George Orwell!! I've always told people, "George Orwell would understand me!" You do, right? believe that the federal apparatus alone should Orwell (Nods vigorously) Of course I do, dominate human existence- we also believe TV old chap. (Whispers towardacoupleguardswho producers, Freudian-feminist professors, and are dozing at the studio back-entrance: ''Pssst. transnational corporations should have a say, as Security!'') well. Salyer: I knew the moment I finished readBush: Wha-"transnatio--"?! You can't ing 1984, that you were talking straight to me, have corporations!! They're ours!! givingmetheSecretKnowledgeineededtofree Kerry: You didn't call "dibs." (Smirks.) my mind. But it's not easy being the sole sane "Dibs" on George Soros' Billion-Dollar-Assets. Everyone's Favorite Monkey Bush: Doh!!! Kerry: Aaaand: "dibs" on the Washington Post. Heh, heh, heh. Bush: Grrr... Kerry: ''Dibs" on environmentalists, and the anti-war crowd. Bush: (rallying): Ah, ah- "dibs" on the Bible-belt!! ''Dibs" on NASCAR fans! ''Doubledibs" on the military and the Wall Street Journal!!! -- OrweU: Gctftl.emen,gentl.emen!!! Lasfques-' tion: what's the greatest political good? Bush: Freedom. Orwell: And what is freedom? More deeply? Bush (In a low, guttural voice): Free-dom. Orwell (Not wanting to be identified as a terrorist, he fights the urge to smack the President.): No--what I mean is, what factors make you say, when you look at a given man: "This man is free", yet when you look at another man, you say, "This man is not free?" (Smoke rolls from Bush's ears; sparks fly from the back of the President's head.) Bush: Bzzzttt . .. merp ... free-dom ... . Gzzkkk .. . free-dom . . . blurp ... free-dom .. . (Paul Wolfowitz rushes up, and escorts the damaged mandroid off for repairs ...) Kerry: See!! He's not even human! He's just a robot that keeps reciting... keeps reciting... keeps reciting. . . (Kerry flickers, says, "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenob~ you're my only hope," and vanishes. The audience goes into an uproar. Orwell says something under his breath, but it goes unnoticed Also unnoticed, the cricket gives one last, sad little chirp. Then it escapes, through a half-open window.) by Erin Owens I need to ask a favor. If there is anything in yourpowe.rthat can make this comic not suck, please, please make it happen!' It is done! 1\ What has Mabel the Swirming W'oode.r Spedre done? Find out next 1.1/00k in an al nevi advernure. Come to Mabel the Sv-iiming Wonder Monkey every Fooay a: 10:30 PM in the camp!Jel Basement. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE G ADFLY . 11 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Tutor-watching continued from front page tutor validation or adapt your arguments to (again) . Except . . . tonight, something's difprocure a positive response - but this isn't easy ferent. Tonight, there isn't even a hint of alterto avoid unless_y_ou)iave Mr. Beall, w!1ose rignate realities and compater langu~ges; lnstead, -orous govern~~nt training has rendered him it's related directly to the text. In fact, it's even completely stoic and unreadable. Still, most profound. tutors are not like l'vfr. Beall, and you can't deny And from the furious nod of the tutors' that it warmed the cockles of your heart when heads, you can see they've noticed. your music tutor grinned and leaned forward Now, ideally, you wouldn't be interested in after you correctly identified an appoggiatura. the way your tutors' faces react to classroom You find yourself knocked out of your indynamics, but realistically you acknowledge that trospection when one of your seminar tutors a happy face or sad face can drastically change refers to you by name. Bringing yourself back the direction of an argument. Take your freshto the conversation, you find that she has deman lab tutorial, for example, where the devicided to connect anime-guy's point with your ous gleam of the tutor's eye could weaken the own ... and furthermore, that the eyebrowknees of any would-be pundit who referenced twitch may have been an indication of interest photosynthesis. Or perhaps your sophomore .. . not alarm. In fact, your idea has become a math class, where constant bickering over the segue to another fascinating topic. cone's usefulness resulted in the exponential It seems that you're not as accurate at readgrowth of the vein in your tutor's forehead. ing tutors as you thought. You realize you shouldn't lust after signs of Review continued from page 4 rely on some kind of moral sentiment, but was unhappy that such was the case? Ifit is the former, Mr. Ye ought to have pointed out the error in Mr. Weiss' argument- that is the sort of thing that I think would make an interesting lecture review, the sort of thing that would justify the genre. If it is the latter, and Mr. Ye is simply disappointed that he has to rely on a feeling- rather than God or Reason- I'm somewhat sympathetic. Still, I tend to agree with l'vfr. Weiss, and so my only answer is that yes it is a shame that religion and/ or the Enlightenment are an inadequate foundation for universal human rights, but so it goes. Another alumnus / lawyer will be on campus to speak about rights and the actions of government to either support or deny those rights. The alumnus is Steve Thomas, and the rights in question include the right of habeas corpus, due process, legal counsel, and protection from arbitrary detention. Mr. Thomas will be discussing several Supreme Court cases involving "enemy combatants" and the Guantanamo detainees. For those interested in "the positing of ideas against real events," the meeting will be held Wednesday Oct. 20th at 5:00 in the Conversation Room. 12 The Tuesdqy Nite "Fites," Wk-~XXXVI :MA.PS vs. SIMILES (36-34) Coffee vs. Cartoons (32-38) Calypso vs. Penelope (25-45) Parable vs. Doctrine (48-22) Gwen Gurley: A Force to Contend With by Natalie Rinn Staff Writer Look out, sports fans, there's a new scoring machine on campus. Her name? Ms. Gwen Gurley. On Friday, under a ray of fortuitous sunshine, Ms . Gurley placed a one-timed beauty inside the net. The dexterity of this feat would have made any onlooker assume Ms. Gurley has been doing this her whole life. But no. In this, her inaugural season of soccer, Ms . Gurley has proven merely to be gifted. And perhaps the pink soccer cleats add a bit of juice to her already adept kick. While Ms. Gurley established herself as new soccer money on Friday, Ms. Thompson and Grodotzke reestablished themselves as the old. Roaming the field like two magnetic poles finding their greatest individual power in their very attraction and connection to one another, Ms . Thompson and Grodotzke displayed their . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . dominance over the rest of the Kunai like a loadstone over iron filings . The sum of goals scored on Friday by the duo is not definitely known , but it is definitely scary. Left-footed cannons, right-footed one-timers, humblin' and bumblin' give and goes w ere one and all displayed by the super-powered pair on Friday. Thompson, Grodotzke, and their massacre lead team Green to easy victory over impotent team Blue, 5-3. DATE DUE I t I � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 7 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2004-10-19 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 7 of The Gadfly. Published October 19, 2004. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.7 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/600db9608eab78b43cfbaf0213db65a4.pdf 8a6201845e1104464bac3e033bd8bb7c PDF Text Text ST . JOH N'S COLLEGE LIBRARY Th 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11~~nr11 r1 1 r1 ri1 m1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 E'3·2··~ GA D F Ly . Annapolis, Maryland October 26, 2004 The St. John's College Student Week{)' Volume XXVI, Issue 8 Top Ten Dance Songs For People Who Don't Dance by Sarah Wilson Staff Writer couldn't be sure. Needless to say, Johnnie took the ring and soon discovered that it gave him/ her the power of invisibility. Not only could people not see him/ her, but they forgot about his/ her presence. He/ she soon found that he became addicted to the ring; besides, whenever he/ she took it off and looked in the mirror he/ she was terrified that he/ she was beginning to resemble Elijah Wood - a fate worse than death. Anyway, the temptation to steal soon became overpowering. Johnnie took from the bookstore each Lobe edition of the Socratic Dialogues in order as they were read in seminar, even though he/ she no longer attended seminar. Eventually, he/ she amassed a pile of 20 or so copies of these expensive books. Johnnie Formuchofmyyounglife,I was sort of person who didn't dance. I entered into my teens in what I like to call my hard chore hippie phase. This entailed, amongst other things, trying really hard to like bands like Phish and actually convincing myself for a brief period of time that I did in fact like them. As such I would occasionally find myself twirling around and doing the hippie shimmy in the privacy of meadows. Then, something happened and I started wearing a lot ofblack and spiking my hair and trying really hard to like bands like Pennywise and convincing myself that I actually did like them. As such I would occasionally find myselfpogoing and moshingwith my imaginary friends in the privacy of my living room. Then I ent=d into a brief phase as an emo kid which didn't so much involve dancing as forming ridiculous crushes on people and getting all distraught about them. Music that people "danced" to was saccharine pop and bootylicious hip-hop and the people who danced w= vacuous and unaware of the lurking abyss. It wasn't something clever, bashful, socially awkward people did During my freshman year at St. John's the strangest thing happened I took Bright Eyes out of my CD player for a few minutes and put on the Faint. Suddenly;! was, dare I say it? I was dancing! I found myself unable to listen to my old favorites without shimmying and shaking. It finally hit me that pretentious, toocool for their converses people dance too. But should Gyges continued on page 2 Top Ten continued on page 4 Ring of Gyges Makes Presence Felt on Campus; Strife and Internal Discord Follows by Willis McCumber Staff Writer "Hear then, as they say, a very fine rational account, which you consider a myth, as I think, but I consider it a rational account . . ." One dayJohnnie was walking along back campus at night. Suddenly, the ground began to rock under his/ herunsuspecting feet, and a great chasm opened before him/ her, splitting the soccer field in two and undermining the foundations of the boathouse. Johnnie climbed down into the chasm, and saw, among other fabulous things, a hollow bronze horse with windows in it. Johnnie peeped inside and saw the body of a man, seemingly larger than life and wearing only a golden ring. Johnnie thought the man looked kind of like Dean Flaumenhaft, but he/ she �Gyges continued from front page Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Aaron Brager Matt Gates Tobin Herringshaw Tom Jacobs 11iriam Keim Max Kronberg Willis McCumber Leo Pickens Sarah Wilson Founded in 1980, the Gacif!y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gacif!y staff. The Gacif!y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gacif!y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. The REAL Halloween Parry brought to you by Reality 2005 Saturdqy, October 30 Pumpkin carving contest 3PM on the Quad ($3 for materials) Dance and costume contest 10PM in the Great Hall Prizes from the St. John's Bookstore for wznmng. Food, music, and fun for showing up. Sunday, Nov. 14, 7:30PM performance, shuttle departs at 5:45PM Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest at the ArenaStage in D.C. Tickets: $15.00 Tickets Avail.: 8 Tickets on Sale Monday, Nov. 8 after seminar in the Coffeeshop 2 fancied himself a god among mortals; soon he/ she was engaging in petty vandalism. Therestofthestoryisdrearyandpredictable. As campus Chief of Security Paul lvfikesell or Chris Aamot can tell you,] ohnnie proceeded to: Steal $400.00 dollars from the Film Society cashbox, thus preventing the showing of at least one film this year (according to Film Societyarchon Aaron Brager) Write "renaissance fairs rule" in nearly illegible handwriting in various places around Gilliam Punch a hole in a st:airwellin Paca Steal eight copies of Leibniz from the bookstore, thus preventing students who actuaDyneeded to read the book from pwdtasingit When asked for comment, bookstore archon Isadora Sageng said "I haven't brought my riding crop in yet I thought about a tazer, but turns out a tazed person looses controlofhis/her bodily functions, so I'd also need a tarp, and thatisn'tfeasible..." She continued, sayingitwas "pretty revolting" that a Johnnie would steal from the campus bookstore. The "ongoing problem" has forced her to institute a new rule where everyone has to deposit his/her bag near the front of the store before browsing: Other changes will likely follow ifthe problem continues, including the installation of mirrors and possibly cameras. ''Students areusuallyprettyproud of their campus and don't do anything to deface it'' according to Chief Mikesell. Like Ms. Sageng, he expressed disgust (albeit in a manner more becominganofficer) at the new trend towards thievery and vandalism. There have also been some unique problems with the Campbell laundry room. According to ChrisAamot,somecarelessstudentshavebeenleaving their laundry unattended for days in the laundry room, where it has been getting in the way and greatly angering at least one other student The disgruntled one proceeded to pile it on the drains and tum on the spigots, eventually flooding two students' rooms. The laundry machines in Campbell were intentionally switched to be free this semester, but ifthis means students are being careless with the facility, theymlght go back to being coin-operated. These myriad incidents present a number of self-evident ironies. What kind ofwine sack with a deer's eyes and a dog's heartwould steal The &public, a book supposedly about justice? Can such people really belong in this particular polity? It is appropriate to recall the words ofSocrates, that such injustice "makes Uohnnie] unable to act because ofstrife and internal discord, and it also makes him an enemy both of himself and of the just" . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �which terrifies the butterfly but does not affect the cub, except maybe to make it a little tired, so it then falls asleep. The butterfly, meanwhile, has two broken wings, and dies where it falls. A.B.: Oh, God, I'm fat! J.C. ... And your response, :Mr. Brager? ... A.B.: DON'T LOOK AT lvfE! l ."' JC: We're here today with Max Kronberg and Aaron Brager, formerly J.A.M. (Jewish Anonymous Man), the co-creators of Jews Clues, hoping to get to know them and gain some insight into a fad that's sweeping the campus as a result of their brilliance: reading the J.C.: Uh, alright, um, Aaron, how bout you tell us about your childhood? J.C: Ok, ok, I'm not looking at you. What do you think about this 16 East Street thing? A.B.: I'm torn. On one hand, those guys are jerks for dragging us into a petty little dispute. On the other hand, I'm one of those guys. So, all in all, I guess my only reaction is to be offended by the homophobia of the proverbial lion cub who murdered the poor, gay butterfly. M.K: Gay and fat. You're quite the catch. A.B.: My parents were pretty bad at their jobs. I'm kind of a dick. Gadf!J. J.C.: Are those related? So, why don't you boys tell us a little something about your upbringings. A.B:No. A.B.: Well, you're ... [Tears up, waves hands at Mr. Kronberg, runs away] M.K. : I had a great childhood, because my parents really complimented each other. My mom smothered me with love and affection while my father smothered me with blankets and other things. A.B.: I'm not sure you can call it smothering when the thing is a brick. M.K.: Maybe not. But anyway, they were fabulous. They taught me how to rely on myself, which has contributed to Jews' Clues in all kinds of ways. Just the other day, when we couldn't think of a joke, I thought back to when my dad dropped me off in the woods with only a blanket and a brick. It really helped me think of the joke. Y'know, when we made fun of Steve Zweibel, the kid who burned Randall? That was all the brick. My dad also taught me how to kill someone, using only my bare hands and a brick tied up in a blanket. J.C.: Oh, haha, and have you ever used the method? M.K.: Not successfully. J.C.: That's enough, Mr. Kronberg. Let's move on ... where's Mr. Brager? J.C.: Why did you hide behind J.A.M. for so long? A.B.: Here I am. Sorry, sometimes I just get sad for no reason. I'm better now. A.B. I'd had some relatively serious selfesteem issues that I was working out, and after many therapy sessions, three ofwhich came free with my paid tuition, I've finally decided that I'm not obese. We never did find the root of my self-esteem issues, though. J.C.: And, 1-ir. Kronberg, a question just for you. Over the past year, you have been an adamant supporter of sky bridges, while some other people have argued that they are useless because they build a bridge over a thing that you can walk on. Can you elaborate on why sky bridges are necessary? M.K.: That's probably because you can't think, maybe because your brain is buried under layers and layers of disgusting fat, fatty. A.B.: Huh. Kinda makes sense. Oh God! J.C.: Anyway ... moving along, there's a new column in this week's Gadf!y by the folks at 16 East Street. They say their column is the only one better than yours. How would you respond? M.K.: All I have to say is that there are six people who live there. Two are gay. One left school. One's name is ''Darling." The other two are straight-edge. Please. I feel about as threatened as a lion cub, not separated from its mother, who stumbles upon a gay butterfly, which it proceeds to bat around for a while, M.K.: Listen, people, because I'm only going to say this once. A sky bridge is a huge time-saveL If there's a sky bridge between two buildings, one doesn't have to go all the way down to the ground floor in order to go into the opposite building. Plus, the views are awesome. To Recap: The point of a Sky Bridge is not to allow people to cross that which they can't; it's to make the crossing easier. I would kill someone for a series of sky bridges that crisscrossed campus. I would kill them with a brick. J.C. That concludes our interview with ourselves. Stay tuned till next week, when Shunji Matsuzawa writes in about eating cats. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Top Ten continued from front page dancing to Brimey Spears still seem a little too distasteful, here's the top ten songs to dance to if you're the sort ofperson who really doesn't diflce. So get your reason on, shake your logic and party like it's the Symposiun1. 1. The Faint, Glass Dance from DanseMCKabre The Killers are from the surreal wasteland of Las Yegas. Just as one would not e:i..1Ject volcanos, Roman Ruins and medieval castles in fue middle of a desert, one wouldn't immediately expect a quirk-y, fey, mascara toting, faux British accented band to arise from fue hotel restaurants and poker dens of 1bis song references Picasso's early blue period and:Vfilton's Paradise ustandits really sad. But for some reason, it's hard to stand still when it comes on. A perfect dancey distraction for times when you're trying to avoid re-reading ce__rtain epic poen1S Omaha band The Faint may have started out as Sin Gty. However, fueirmusicis amoodymixture of sleaze, questionable romance and alluring neon about the fall for academic purposes or tlunki.'1£i about people who don't call you anymore. 8. St. Etienne, You're in a Bad Wayfrom So Tough a guitar based affair, but fuey've made a name for themselves producing creepy; synfuy dance tracks. glory. Mr. Bnghtsick gleams like a fluorescent angel emerging from a gutter of debauchery before blow- /i sweet, wistful reminder of what might happen to you ifyou are too serious and never dance. The songs sound like fuey are hewn from fue blood, tears, and da..<ice generated sweat of decadent, de- ing all its change on fue slot machines, fallinginlove, being betrayed, and eventually deciding to dance its cares away. \'V'henlead singer Sarah Cracknell coos sweetly, ''.Just pressed, European philosophers who happen to enjoy an evening at fue disco. The iyrics are always deliciously dark, but the music will get even fuemost dour slifuering around fue dance floor. 2. Joy Division, Lve Will Tear Us Apmt from Sub- stance and Hemt and Soul It's a cold and sad world Mamvill cave in before the machine. ''Routine bites hard and ambitions are low and resentment rides high." Love w.Jl only tear us apart. Butgoshdan1itifthesegorgeouslygloomy Mancsdon'tmakeyouw-anttoshakeitlikeaPolaroid picture to this particular track. Deafu Disco, if you will. 3. Tne Future Bible Heroes, Hopeless from Memories ofLve The lyrics are about a failed relationship that has plunged into the realm of being, well, hopeless. But Stephin Merritt has set his vision of a doomed romance staggering along towards inevitable death, to music so bubblegummy and happy that it's easier to picture fue relationship danc:h'1£i its merry way off of a synfuetic cliff 4. The Killers, Mr. Brightside from Hot Fuss 5. Blur, Bqys and Girl.s from Parklifa Blur are best known in the U.S. for their soul stateside 1'.it, t.h.e grungy Song Number 2. Y'know, that 'Woohoo" song? In fueir homeland fuey're known for fue clever, infectious Britpop that comprises the bulk oftheir output. Here we have fuem at their cheeky; new-wave best. This is a song about seaside come--ons to girls who are boys and boys who are girls and -whatnot and all fue complications such situations lead to. The se:i..-ual a..mbiguity and ambivalence will get the philosophers intrigued while Damon _;i,lbam's buoyant "mockney" vocals and the irresistible beat>vJlgetthem takiD.gtheirchances on fue floor. 6. The Cure,Bqys Don'tCry fromB~s Don't Cry Even fuose -who like Camus have to "raise fue roof" occasionally. Just keep on laughing and hiding fue tears in your eyes. This song'vill make you dancesoebullientlyyouca..11ai\vayspretendthatfuey?re drops of sweat 7. The Magnetic Fields, Stran!! Eyes from 69 uve Songs, Volume 3 dial my number, I've got some plans for you, you're in a bad way a..nd I can help you through," I'm sure she's talking about an outing to the disco wh=you can flounce around out of time but feel fabulous doing so. 9. The (International) Noise Conspiracy; Capitalism Stole 2\i;t Vii:gini"!) from A New Morning Chanfing Weather T(J)NC are perfect for people who don't lLke their dance music devoid of radical politics. This noisy group of disgruntled, socialistic Swedes wou,.1d lLk.e you to keep in mind the goal of establishing a new world order while you do the twist and pogo to fueir dance, punk music. 10. Ikara Colt, At the Ldge from Chat and Business Ikara Colt is comprised of pretentious, British art-school brats who produce ar>..gtypost-pur.kmusic and have a talent for irritating people. They're the sort ofband that might be intolerable but are probably really awesome. You're not sure, even though you've had the album for two yea...'"S. Butwho cares. Stop overanalyzk'1£i everything:md go out and wave your li..11bs around like you are being attacked by killer bees. In other words, darlCe. Freshman Female Unsure Whether She's Being Hit-On in Fishbowl Rant by Tom Jacobs & Matt Gates obvious: swaggering confidently over to her secluded table, Reiner knelt down behind her and An anonymous freshman female expressed bewilderment this week after being accosted in L'1e Mellon Fishbowl late Sunday evening while said in his normal speaking voice, "Shi-ot, I used to think that prop was beautiful- be-YOU-tifultill this mo-fo Lobachevky busts out \Vi.th his studying her Euclid. The confusion began when St. John's ser>ior :Matthew Reiner, who had been sitting alone reading Melville's Bmito Cereno aloud to himself in a bemused whisper, looked up and saw the helpless young hottie caught in raptw:ous concentration over the subtle intricacies of Euclid's I.47. Reiner proceeded to slam his fist on the table and expostulated to himself about the marifest injustice of a world where beautiful young women had to study alone. The solution was 4 crazy-ass non-parallel parallels." Then, after a lightning-fast characteristic Reiner non-sequitor, he explained what he meant, "It's like when THUNDERING YAHWEH shows up like, 'BLOA\.AHHH;" (here Reiner threw his hands in the air and shifted his weight from foot to foot)," ... and ordered David to take a census of Israel- t.h.en busts him on 1'is ass for doing that thang!" The subject of the monologue then shifted seamlessly to hair-care products. Startled and nearly deafened, the young woman found herself incapable of an in1medi- . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ate response. As the beautiful /1.ryan senior sat down, she did note, however, that his black shirt with the shin1meringvioletundertones was sensuously unbuttoned at the top, revealing a patch of sparse blonde chest hair. Embarrassed, she averted her eyes to the ground, where she noted that fue stitches were on fue outside ofhis squaretoed Aldo's. I'vfr. Reiner, only temporarily silenced by a Hegelian soliloquy in which his lord's consciousness tried to conv'..nce his slave's consciousness t..l.iat he was not in fact romanci..'lg this nubile nymph, proceeded a split-second later to mutter something about the in1mediate necessity of translating Baudelaire to the tune of12-year-old Laphroaig scotch. Rant continued on page 6 �Reasons Why You Should Visit the Maryland R. F. by Cathy Keene Business Manager I know it is a common assumption that only really nerdy people go to Renaissance Festivals, however, I can assume you that is not actually the case. My friends and I all recently went to the Maryland R.F., and not a single one of us owns a cloak or corset or plays role-playing games. (Alright, one of us does play RPGs, but at least she doesn't look like she just stepped out of the Middle Ages.) Far from feeling outcast from the rest of the crowd, we quickly assimilated into the group as well as anyone who has a love for magic shows and fried food could. That being said, here is my list of the top reasons to visit the Maryland Renaissance Festival when it comes back next autumn; that should give anyone who has been too afraid to go up until this point about a year to overcome their fear of catching the plague. The Scenery - If you think you can't stand another brick building or concrete sidewalk, try going to the Festival. The "town" is built in a somewhat open patch in the woods outside of Annapolis, and the scenery is amazing. There is nothing like watching the beautiful autumn leaves change around you as you spend the day far away from the traffic of the Historic District. The peacefulness of the woods alone makes the trip worthwhile. The Costumes - Although you don't have to dress up in order to get in, many visitors do choose to rent costumes or bring their own to the Festival. Just walking amongst friars, peasant girls, and men who look like Robin Hood is enough to keep one interested in their surroundings . And don't worry about gawking; anyone who paints their face blue and wears a kilt is kind of expecting to attract attention. The Shopping - They sell just about anything and everything at the Festival. Glasswork, pottery, weapons, paintings, jewelry, pillows ... you get the idea. Even if you don't have the money to buy anything, you can always just browse. You can't find some of their items anywhere else. The Artwork - In addition to the paintings you can buy, they also have drawings and statues and about a million other kinds of artwork for you to admire. I have become convinced that only exceptionally talented people are affiliated with these kinds of festivals; some of the drawings of trees and castles and dragons that I saw there were just incredible, much more beautiful than most of the pictures that are sold in stores. If you have any interest at all in art, you need to go to a Festival. The Shows - At any given time of day, at least half a dozen different kinds of acts are being shown throughout the Festival. From tightrope walkers to hypnotists, from magic acts to plays, from sword-swallowers to reallife jousting, you can be guaranteed to see it all. No matter when you go, you are sure to be entertained. The Food - I saved this for last because it is my favorite part of the Festival. You can get just about any kind of food you want, be it fried pickles, barbeque ribs, French fries, chicken nuggets, waffle sundaes, soft pretzels, sandwich wraps, etc. However, as a last bit of advice, if you do decide to go next year, there is one thing you simply must get: chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick. I rest my argument. . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �SCI Minutes by Miriam Keim Thursday October 14, 2004 Present: Nora Kelleher, SCI chair, Miriam Keim, SCI Secretary, Paul Wilford, sophomore representative, Luke J ayapalan, junior representative, Erin Hughy-Commers, senior representative, Josh Weinstein, senior representative, Jillian Sico, senior,Justin Lanier, senior, Sebastian Nahapetian, freshman Discussed Student Tutor Potluck November 13, 2004, 6:00-8:00, in the Boa House Invitations to the tutors must be either giv by the SCI member to the tutor or in the mail to them by Friday, October 23 Discussed Sub-Committees All members must sign up for a sub-com mittee Each sub-committee should have a tentativ schedule of planned events by next Thursday, October 28 to give to Nora Kelleher Discussed how often we should hold th Tutor Forum Agreed that once a year would probably best Set tentative date for a Music Forum for th polity: November 11 Formed a new sub-committee, How shoul students prepare for class? 'What does it mean to be over prepared? 'Where should the bar be set? 'What are the differences between St. John' now and St. John's in the past? 6 Rant continued from page 4 His exit was as unabrupt as his arrival abrupt: picking up his black leather briefcase, he gathered his cell phone, wallet, contact lens case, contact lens solution, tea-tree-oil-flavored toothpicks, along with various other accoutrements, and sauntered off into the darkness laughing loudly at his reflexive interpretation of the conversation that had just transpired. Moments later, he encountered his good friends Messers. Gates and Jacobs, to whom he related in startling detail and with ceaseless revisionist commentary interspersed with obscure program analogies his impressions of the potential non-relationship-based friendship that might occur as the result of his ambiguously flirtatious behavior and their mutual striving toward the Good. Although he adamantly denied any real interest on his part, as he sidled away :Mr. Reinerwas heard to exclalm, "SOOOO FINE," in a tone that can only be described as a seemingly contradictory combination ofvociferous and guttural. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Today A prose poem by Tobin Herringshaw I sit upon the endorphin-stained chair I've come to love and contemplate the opiate state I've been in lately. Cataloging the ideas, the authors, and the appetites only serves to make it rise, vomit-like, to the forefront of my existence. I need a walk. I vault myself off the chair and exit the solitary room, where a pungent odor overtakes my taste buds, reminding me of a meal I once ate. Sewer water and old rat's toenails mixed in with a bit of sarcasm. I rush out the door, only to be blinded, gagged, and forever transported by a cloud that has ascended from hell. My eyes tear violently and my chest objects, forming armies of air to beat back the cigarette smoke. My legs, fortunately, conscientious objectors to this battle, carry me through the field. My next obstacle, however, is slightly less forbidding, but still dangerous. Small, droppings of spittle, no doubt, from rabid beasts wandering the land, litter the broken and discolored bricks. I feel adventurous as I leap across the steaming piles and move on. I happen to look up as I pass the minefield of spittle, and notice how the misty raindrops have collected on a still-green leaf. The stem, barely able to hold the weight, struggles to maintain its form against the water from the gray sea. "I can't stand that damn class!" pelts my eardrums like a battle cry. The moment of the leaf is over, and I scrunch my shoulders forward in the now blistering atmosphere. I walk through the doors of the coffee shop, and find repose. A glowing fire is spewing wisdom and warmth at me, while dozens of people huddle together, talking of great things. "Socrates was just a ... " and "I think that life on other ... " mixes with the chewing and cracking of popcorn. I scuttle past, feeling like I showed up at a meeting for the terminally young, and open my mailbox with some difficulty. I can consolidate my student loans into a mere fraction of a fraction. Does that also apply to my education? Am I now a fraction of some thought, to be written down and studied over coffee and cigarettes? A new issue of the Gadfly piled into a box incites a momentary glee in me, and I drop the melancholic form that has become my epicycle to life. I stare at the silly swear words used by children who don't realize they've wandered into adulthood, and wonder if some day the future peoples of the republic of somewhereintime will look at this issue of our Gadfly and talk of how primitive were those humans. I am sure they will comment on how our president at that time was a fine example of how to destroy the world. I catch the sliver of beauty out of the comer of my eye and look up to see her walk past, cautious and assure of something. I meet her eyes, like fire meeting ice, and then she is gone, marching on to a better life with someone who can be what she wants. I am reminded right then, holding the newsletter and unaware of the ad on the chalkboard for a drinking party this Friday, that it is okay to be wretched, disgusting, and weak. This Ecclesiastes attitude has overtaken most of the happy-go-lucky sensibility I once had, but looking inward as to how this happened, I can only approve of it more. I drop the newsletter into the box, feeling like I just voted for the wrong guy and cannot take it back, and head for the dining hall, once again facing the forever rain. As I approach the building, I can already smell what's on the menu---grease. I draw in a stinging breath of pollution, as I run through the chorus line of smokers, much like a football player, ideologies being pummeled to the ground. I have accepted the fact that grease is a new staple, along with beer and soda. Sometimes it is green, sometimes yellow and brown, but it always leaves the same stink on your jacket. Sitting down with my plate full of paradoxically similar sights and smells, I curse myself for concluding that socializing was a good choice for tonight. Some of the shouting and laughing faces seem distorted, like a carnival attraction gone wrong, and some are beautiful and graceful. Tonight, everything seems out of place. Napkins are too far away, people are sitting too close to me, volume levels indistinguishable from themselves, and all I can do is sit and shovel in the grease, silent as my dreams. A friend engages me in conversation, and my will dissolves. I reluctantly comment on the reading, the oppressive length, and the movie I might see on the weekend. I've done this before, millions of times in lives past. But then, the conversation having taken a slight turn to the soft and soulful, the friend mentions Baudelaire. I am brought back to life with the acoustic pleasure of his name, and Le Cygne is mentioned, higher do I go. Fitting that the friend should mention this, since I myself feel like a misplaced marker inside the book of humanity. The friend continues, saying that in class today his tutor explained the origin of the word Carrousel, which Baudelaire uses in his poem. When some ancient king died in some even more ancient country, there was selected fifty or so of the best warriors in the land. These warriors were brought forth to the burial site, arranged in a circle around the corpse of the king, and impaled on their horses with long spears. The spears penetrated their heads (probably their hearts, too) and went directly down into the ground. A death carrousel to a dead leader- brilliant! Suddenly I remembered why I am here. Pink Triangle Community Seminar DATE DUE We will be reading a~ for a copy of the readi'. 70pm I I "Betwixt & Between: The ~ry" f through campus mail or in 'Though gender pervades our daify lives-used, as it is to designate both ourselves and others as men and women, bqy or girl it does so in a curiousfy tacit manner." -RA. Crouch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 by Leo Pickens Athletic Director ''Running is a monastery-a retreat, a place to commune with God and yourself, a place for psychological and spiritual renewal." From George Sheehan's "On Running to Win" When the Guardians and Druids resumed the postponed second half of their first foot- ball game this past weekend, Guardian quarterback, Mr. Donahoe quickly connected with wide receiver Mr. Small on two passes: the first, a bomb on their first play from scrimmage, which set up the next play: a nice little touchdown pass. Mr. Small's sure hands got the Guardians off and rolling to a resounding victory, and for his catalytic contribution, he is named Athlete of the Week for the men. And this in from the big-shoes-to-fill department. When the stroke of the women's varsity four, :Miss Ahem, couldn't make it to this past weekend's scrimmage with the Annapolis Rowing Club, the Severn Chase, the novice oarswoman, :Miss :Michelle Robbins was tapped to step up and fill her seat in the women's boat. And without demur, this she did, and quite capably, racing over a longer distance than she ever has heretofore. For her willingness to embody the rowing club's ideal of'any boat, any seat, any day' l\fas Robbins is named Athlete of the Week for the women. ';>:·<: t::·~":' ,',, Y-§tJ.,Mil(~t ~~~-;s.·:';1/,, -~". ~-~Y:~· ·<."-..< • < <"::._'_,fo''-.""~ c:~:'--". '"~c,<<)~t • ~.~~-'.'!• • :.~.·.~ .: .·••:. ·, -~,:· .ilie. hook8tore t>ti iii~ Yoil . ~~()~~r\~q~fi~.~ :~·\,:.·.;.:,,:::~ <:.~:·'·.' · "·'-' ·". '-· '.,,~\;~;;;~', "··"·. < ,·<~.<< J~'<?:.~~~1ti h /" <: ~:!S' A Day in the Life of 16 East Street: The Only Column Superior to JewsJ Clues It's 2:32 AM and I have the strangest feeling that someone is standing over me while I lay in bed. I thought it was oxygen-induced, but it turns out it's not soo strange of a feeling as someone is, in fact, standing over me. Thanks a whole bunch, JP. Yes, thank you so much for letting my more than slightly emotionally unstable ex-girlfriend into our house at 2:30 in the morning after I explicitly warned everyone that my life may in fact be in danger due to the instability of this girl. Thank you so much for actually buying her line about needing to get a "very very important piece of paper" from my room at two-thirty in the morning! Thank you for endangering my very existence. I'm mostly just cranky from having been just woken up. Sh*t! I still have homework to finish. [... ] It's 2:30 AM and I hear knocking. My first suspicion is that Elizabeth is about to bug me about some Reality chore that can wait til tomorrow, but no one's at the back door. I stumble to the front. It's that girl-what's her name? The one Randall warned me about. 8 Something about an important paper. Sounds important. Guess I'd better let her in so I can get back to playing Castlevania. [... ] It's 1:00 AM and we're thanking Lavoisier wholeheartedly. Randall and I have just returned from the festivities associated with the most wonderful day of the year. On this one day, everybody puts aside their petty differences to join together and help people in need. Yes, October 20 was Bulk Trash Pickup day, and Randall and I scoured the streets of Annapolis for unwanted belongings in good condition. Sure, we did get a piiiata, a tape deck, and an automatic ice crusher, but these possessions are ultimately nothing when compared to the infinite glory of the Invacare Mobilaire IRCSL Yes, this baby spits out pure 0 2 like nobody's business. We wanted to experiment with a safe and legal oxygen high, but first we had to convince ourselves that the machine was, in fact, producing oxygen. We filled a large pot with water, and submerged a glass jar upside-down. We ran a tube from the alleged oxygen isolator to the glass jar. After firing her up, the IRCSL exhaust . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . quickly displaced the water. We now had a glass jar packed to the brim with Probably-Oxygen. You can likely guess what we did then: Yes, we lit a piece of paper on fire with out gaspowered stove. After a moment, the punysized lame had been reduced to glowing page edges. But have no fear! We dropped the slip of paper into the jar and VOILA! The flame instantly grew to be more glorious than Xerxes at the Hellespont. Yup, it's oxygen![... ] It's 12:00 AM and I'm stuck doing three days worth of dishes. We have a dish system where we all take a day and ifwe miss it, we pay the next day's washer fifteen bucks. JP has agreed to pay me, but Matt doesn't want to. Rules are rules! Our dish system, although it had promising beginnings, is quickly deteriorating. In addition to our own dish problems, we've had Reality's Oktoberfest pots and pans in here for a week now. Hopefully, someone will come to do them today. As everyone has appointed me Dish Enforcement Archon (DEA) I suppose that I am not doing my job very well, but these dish escapades have got to stop ... somehow. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 8 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2004-10-26 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 8 of The Gadfly. Published October 26, 2004. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.8 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/83d28f20f4730d75591da11ade585d3c.pdf de7b56f4049f9ab873c4501d7a087687 PDF Text Text 1 ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1~ ~ ij~ij~1 1~1~1~1i1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 H''E·~ G ADFLY The St. John} College Student Weekb Volume XXVI, Issue 9 Annapolis, Maryland November 2, 2004 Aliens Invade Campus Again by Deb Streusand Staff Writer A few months ago, with many loud crashes, aliens landed at St. John's. They stayed for some time, mostly over the summer, and by the time they left a strange new growth was present on back campus. It took the form of a dormitory of sorts, but like no dormitory St. John's had ever seen before. After studying it carefully, we formed the theory that our visitors had been studying human universities, and somehow being under the impression that St. John's was just another one of these, they had built us a dormitory in keeping with that idea. Cinderblock walls, bizarre Art Deco touches, absurdly heavy doors, a weird rubbery smell (perhaps some sort of residue from the aliens' presence?), and a painful lack of Johnnie chairs all contributed to this impression. Still, it was a workable dormitory. The administration had it inspected for extraterrestrial viruses and weird slime creatures, and finding it (relatively) safe, named this peculiar installation "Gilliam Hall." They then put it into use to allow more students to live on campus, much to the chagrin of anyone waiting in line in the dining hall. We have only just now completed our investigation of this unusual event, although many questions remain unanswered. But the loud clanging in the morning and during classes (did Copernicus ever have to think through a noise like that?) tells us that these mysterious beings have returned. Driven by the spirit of inquiry, we accosted Don Jackson, Director of Operations (i.e. Alien Liaison) for St. John's, and pressed him to divulge the aliens' agenda. He gave us no information as to the nature of the aliens themselves, or their reason for donating living space to the future philosophers/burger flippers of the world, but he did let slip a few bits of information about the new construction itself. For example, the aliens intend for it to be a near-clone of "Gilliam Hall," in terms of its internal appearance and general exterior design. (1.faybe they actually grow these buildings and then clone them, although I never knew that cloning could be so loud.) The aliens intend to complete their work and depart by December of 2005, and the administration plans to move the first students in for the spring semester of 2006, after the requisite virus and slime creature inspections. About 32 students will be able to live in the aliens' new present, although what it will be named is still unknown. One discouragement to the cloning theory is that the new building will not be exactly like "Gilliam Hall," in that it will contain offices for 8 tutors on the lower level. The aliens apparently possess a keen understanding of human nature (perhaps we should solicit some of their anthropologi- cal writings for the Program?) because they are placing the offices in a separate area with a separate locked entrance, as opposed to incorporating them into the rest of the dorm so that tutors can work undisturbed. (We theorize that intoxicants and youthful stupidity are even more universal than we thought.) The aliens' building plans also include a room that could be used as a classroom or common room for student activities. (Which brings up the question of what the aliens know about our activities: aliens watching Melee could get a very interesting impression of the human race.) The area between our two alien-built dormitories will be landscaped and made more "user-friendly," according to Mr. Jackson. (We always knew that Macs were secretly created by aliens.) Another curious rumor has been floating around, namely, that the aliens intend to return at some point and create a parking garage for us. 1.fr. Jackson alluded enigmatically to a ''longrange plan" and mentioned that this idea was somehow part of it, but that there was no specific plan or funding for this yet. (We do not know what the aliens use for funds, but the mysterious disappearance of groups of octopi from zoos around the area may shed some light on this matter.) The "long-range plan" definitely implies a goal for the work, but 1.fr. Jackson gave us only one hint as to what this might be. In an unguarded moment, he mentioned the attempt to acquire a Green Building A ward, which was somehow related to low-impact building and the use of renewable resources. Perhaps the aliens are trying to indoctrinate us into environmentalism, but then why does Gilliam Hall lack recycling bins? The world may never know. �Gadf!J Mailbox Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Aaron Brager ATP Reenie Craven Erikk Geannikis Max Kronberg Natalie Rinn Clarke Saylor Jillian Sico Deb Streusand Founded in 1980, the Gac!f!y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gac!f!y staff. The Gac!f!y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gac!f!y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 Fall,2004 TO: Tutors and Undergraduate Students Reenie Craven, FROM: Registrar The following is the policy on making up incomplete grades: Tutorial/Laboratory Grades: Incomplete grades may be given in the case of a true emergency, e.g., a death in the family or sickness attested to by a college health care professional. In such cases, the grade that would be awarded if the work is not completed should be indicated. The form for this is, for example, I/C+. The alternate grade given (C+ for example) becomes the final grade if the incomplete work is not made up before the end of the second semester, in the case of work left over from the first semester, or by the end of the first semester in the case of work left over from the second semester of the previous academic year. Of course, the C+, for example, could become a different final grade if the work is completed within the prescribed time frame as stated above. If the work is not completed within the time prescribed above, and the tutor failed to indicate an alternate grade for the incomplete, the I becomes an F. January Freshmen have until the end of the fall semester for incomplete work from the spring term and until the end of the spring term for incomplete work from the previous summer term. Annual Essay Grades: If an annual essay is not submitted, the grade is I (incomplete). The I remains on the transcript until an essay is submitted. If an essay is submitted and is unacceptable, the grade is F. An incomplete grade in an annual essay may be completed at any time; however, a student may not continue into the next year without a grade for the annual essay in the preceding year. Sophomores must receive a satisfactory grade on their sophomore essay and their don rag committee come to a positive enabling decision on his/her behalf in order to proceed to the junior year. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The T uesdqy Nite "Fites) " Wk XX.XVIII SARCASM vs. SURPRISE (29-25) Sound vs. Jewels (42-12) Balls to the Wall vs. Flying Leap (27-28; tie-break) Identity vs. Expression (32-22) Instead of being held in The Nelson Room, the TNF of November 2nd will be held by the United States government in polling places all over the nation. The same principles apply: Do what you do, but think it through. �The End of an Era 1918-2004 by Max Kronberg Staff Writer The Red Sox won the World Series. They did what no one had ever done to the team that no one had ever embarrassed, and followed it up by beating the best team in baseball in four games. The Red Sox won the World Series. They did it with stellar performances from men in slumps, in pain, some past their prime. The Red Sox won the World Series. They did it by doing what they haven't been able to do since 1918:winningwhenitactually mattered, winning in the cool days of October when the lights are on and everyone's watching, winning because they could see their greatness and finally, unbelievably, realize it. The Red Sox won the World Series. The Yankees beat the Red Sox in the first three games of the American League Championship Series. They needed only one more win to advance. The Red Sox had to do the unimaginable: win four straight games against the Yankees, the greatest team in the history of professional sports. The Red Sox did just The following are Business Friends of StJohn's College: Theyappreciateyourpatronage;we appreciate their support For more information on the Business Friends, conrnct:Alice Olambers, Coordinator, Corporate and Foundation Relations, 410 295-5544 or alice.chambers@sjca.edu. Annapolis Bank& Trust Alexander& Cleaver Alt, Breeding& Schwarz, Architects Annapolis Accommodations, Inc. Annapolis Courtyard by 1farriot Annapolis Inn Bed and Breakfast Annapolis 1farriottWaterfrontHotel Annapolis Pottery Annapolis Styling Group ARINC Art:FX,ILC ArtThings Atlantic Arts BB&TBank Baywoods of Annapolis BeBeepAToyShop Berliner Construction that. They did it with David Ortiz, who had the game winning hit in Game 4 and Game 5. An extra-inning game-winning hit. He pushed the Red Sox, showed them what you could do with a scowl and a big stick. He saw the Red Sox on the verge of winning two must-win games, inches away from the finish lines, and picked the entire team up and threw it across. Ortiz showed the Red Sox how to win. They did it with Curt Schilling, who was chased in Game 1 after a horrible showing, but came back to pitch the game ofhis life in Game 6. No one write in and argue, because this game was far more impressive and far more important than the Game 7 he pitched in the 2001 World Series. This isn't New York vs. Arizonathis is New York vs. Boston. This is real. This is baseball. This is a man, coming off an outing in which he gave up six runs in three innings, who gave up one in seven. This is a man who was pitching with a dislocated ankle tendon, an injury that couldn't be fixed and could only be stabilized by three sutures. This is a man who literally bled for his team the entire time he was on the mound. This is a man. Blue Water Agency, Ltd. Bohl Architects, PA Breakthrough Conversations, Inc. Chamberlin, Web Chesapeake Bay Foundation OKAssociates,ILC Dawson G.ille1)' Discover Annapolis Tours EastportCaptain'sCottageBed&Breakfast EbersbergerinsuranceAssociates Echoes&Accents 55 East Bed and Breakfast FredDFtshbackAlAArchitect Flag House Inn Bed and Breakfast Galway Bay Irish Restaurant& Pub Grauls Supermarket, Cape St Oaire Hammond Editions Hampton Inn Historic Inns of Annapolis: :Maryland Inn,Gov. Calvert House, Robert Johnson House Hyatt, Peters, & WeberllP India's Restaurant Inside Annapolis J.'vfagazine Ken's CreativeKitchen LesFoliesBrasserie They did it with Johnny Damon, who had 3 hits in 29 at-bats until Game 7. That's 3 for 29. That's a .103 batting average. This was the batting average of the Red Sox lead-off hitter, the man they rely on to get on base. Johnny Damon hit a grand-slam in Game 7, giving his team a nearly insurmountable lead. He did this in the 2nd inning. Concerned that that might not be enough, this being baseball and October and Yankee Stadium and The House that Ruth Built, Damon hit a two-run homer in the 4th. The Yankees lost that final game to the Red Sox 10-3. They lost 6-3 to Johnny Damon. The Red Sox won four straight playoff series games after loosing three. No team in baseball history had ever done that. No team had ever lost three and then forced a Game 7. They did what no one had ever had the chance to do-they won four straight, and then they won four more. I won't go into as much detail about the World Series, partly because it wasn't as dramatic, and partly because I couldn't watch it all. The The End continued on back page Lynn Dulin, Commerical Champion Real Estate Loews Annapolis Hotel :Main Ingredient Catering Merry WalkAntiques Mills W111e & Spirits Moran Insurance Morgan Gerard Hair Salon Mullen & SondbeJ:g, Wttnbish & Stone, PA NASAFederal Credit Union National Management Systems O'Callaghan Hotel, Annapolis O'DohertyGroup Landscape Architecture PeninsulaHouseBed&Breakfast PewterOialice Post Haste M.ailing RedHot&BlueRestaurant& Catering Robertson, Tony Royal Folly Bed&Breakfast Sandy Spring Bank Sara-Beth's Bed and Breakfast Thomas, Vice Adm. Ret. Joseph Three Centuries Tours USNAAlumniAssociation Whitmore Printing & Imaging Womanship, Inc. . . . . . . . THE GADFLY 3 �Talking About Music by Jillian Sico Imagine a scenario in which one person, person A, attempts to communicate with another, person B, by declaring, "The innocence of the dove fills my soul with hope!" Now, let us assume that person B has never in fact experienced a dove with her own senses. But she has read about doves, and knows how they are used in the Bible and in common expressions, so she decides that she understands the meaning of .Ns remark. Were A then to go inside B's mind and know the nature of B's understanding of .Ns statement, A would become indignant. "No," she would sputter, "you have misunderstood me entirely!" As it turns out, B, in understanding, was attaching a meaning to the word 'dove' that was only a removed, secondhand or historical account. Because she (B) understands how 'dove' has been used or ought to be used, she can play with the word and place it in seemingly accurate contexts, sometimes even receiving high honors for performing brilliant manipulations. But despite her accuracy, because the dove is outside of her experience, B has never truly understood any statement concerning a dove. It is like a person blind from birth who uses 'light' in complex metaphors. 'Light', for her, is but a word with context, and not something actual. I can read philosophy in the same way, understanding every manner in which Kant uses the phrase "transcendental apperception" without ever arriving at its necessity through my own reason. I can talk endlessly about being and non-being, the one and the many, without thinking very deeply about my own knowledge (or lack of knowledge) of them. This is light talk that merely flits about on the surface of something deep. It is not real philosophy. One can talk about music in a similar fashion. I can read Zuckerkandl's theory of dynamic quality and know exactly what he says about the 1, 5 and 7 tones, then have a discussion about a melody by using the numbers in the same way that he does. But how did Zuckerkandl come to understand dynamic quality in the first place? I assume that he sat down with a simple melody and paid very close attention to the way tones moved his desires and expectations by listening to them in relation to one another, 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . then tried - failed, tried again - to articulate the exact way in which he had been moved. When a student sits down with Zuckerkandl without listening to melodies, she is doing nothing but memorizing what he says. But if she plays a melody on the piano and becomes both frustrated and enlightened in her own attempts to articulate how the tones move her, she has begun to understand Zuckerkandl's project. In the end, music is fundamentally about listening and being moved. A discussion about a piece of music should therefore be an articulation of the way in which we are being moved, both physically and in our souls (whatever way concerns us as human beings) . One way of proceeding, a common way of approaching musical education, is to understand the notation and some of the technical words of the musical art. The goal in this case would be to understand the real musical meaning behind the words in order to use them for the sake of articulating how a piece of music affects us. But music is not the same thing as language. What, then, is the meaning behind words of music's technical language? Take, as an example, the phrase "the interval of a fifth", a technical phrase. What is an interval? Shall I merely state the definition that someone else has given me and proclaim that I understand it? Or shall I try to consider what the word must indicate? What is a fifth? Is a fifth only an interval, a space of sorts? What sort of 'space' does it mark off? Is it nothing more than a mathematical ratio? Can I react to it as an isolated phenomenon or must I place it in relation to other intervals? And, most importantly, how does it strike me, move me, make me respond? Can I become conscious of my own reaction to a thing? Can I try to articulate that very reaction despite its being a moving phenomenon that occurs in time, and thus quickly reduced to memory? I consider the process of articulation to be an attempt to hold onto an impression within the soul, remembering it accurately without altering its fundamental nature. It is similar to drawing a face; I look at the face, the way the line of the nose curves and its relation to the whole of the face - I feel that curve, know it, else the drawing will never be right - then I look down at the paper, remembering, and jot it down. In music, we must use words to articulate our impressions, which, unlike in a simple line drawing, often hit us at our very cores, playing with our most fundamental desires and expectations. Yet in the same way as in drawing, we need to hold that impression in our minds untouched for the time it takes us to put it into speech. How can one do this and what words can one use? ' I am listening to the very beginning of l'vfozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik". How can I articulate what I hear? I could try singing it to you, but you would say to me, "but you're just repeating what Mozart said, and poorly at that; I still don't really understand!" Perhaps, then, first I can do a sort of 'brainstorming' with words both technical and imaginative. I heard that on the first note, the instruments were on different tones; that the highest seemed to be a starting point or '1' tone and one of the lower tones made a major third with this; that for the rest of the notes the instruments were all in unison. I heard an erratic shifting from the 1 tone down to 5 several times, then a compelling, quicker motion up to the 5 above that; then I heard what I took to be a second phrase, starting on the 4 tone and shifting in the same rhythm as before between 4 and 2, and ending on the lower 5 tone. Now that I know what I will be working with, I can try to articulate my reaction to the two phrases, the one ending on a high 5 and the other on a low 5, both with the same rhythm. Were I to perform the two phrases physically, I would probably breathe in in short, almost-comic bursts, look up and around, and raise my body up as in awareness for the first phrase; then I would hold my breath and freeze for a beat. For the second phrase, I would breathe out in a similar way, look down as though searching, and my body would make some downward motion. My inclination toward such physical motions indicates to me that the general motion of the phrases is a going out or up, then a coming back or down. The motion is not smooth but erratic in a humorous way, both because of the halting rhythms (which forced me, among other things, to freeze between Music continued on page 7 l �Lecture Review: Alfarabi, Islam, and Religious Pluralism by Cathy Keene Business Manager 1bis past Friday night the College had two main reasons for welcoming St. John's graduate Joshua Parens back to Annapolis. The first was his recent 20-year reunion, and the second was his scheduled lecture on the Islamic political writer Alfarabi (whose full name I could not even begin to spell). Although Mr. Parens could not study works such as Alfarabi's Attainment of Happiness during his years at St. John's, he proved himself able to undergo a thought analysis of the writer and the work that extends beyond the commonly accepted understanding of the argument. I'm sure his tutors would be proud; no wonder his is one of our own. Beginning the lecture with thanks to tutor/ friend Joseph Macfarland for helping him through the years, Mr. Parens gave a brief overview of Alfarabi's biography and thoughts on Plato's Republic. According to Mr. Parens, the ideas behind Attainment ofHappiness are based on insights into the Repubh"c, such as all of the citizens working for the common good, the ruler being a philosopher, the city being perfectly just, etc. "Alfarabi wonders what it would take for Islam to rule the world justly [as is their intention as a religion]," says Mr. Parens. "He tells us why it is necessary for there to be a multiplicity of world religions, however, he does not recommend religious pluralism in the modem sense [of Spinoza or Locke]. Ifwe are not careful, we might be tempted to think he doesn't argue anything concrete." In order to elucidate the argument that Alfarabi is making, Mr. Parens tells us that we must read between the lines of the work. He asks us to rely on notions such as silence (on the issue oflslamic prophecy) and rhetoric to understand better the stand that Alfarabi is taking with reference to his Islamic traditions. In so doing, Mr. Parens claims that we must explore three particular lines of reasoning that fuel Alfarabi's writing, namely, the Impossibility of the Republic's Virtuous City argument, Lecture continued on back page All Tomorrow's Parties Dude, going to a Reality party while stone cold sober often reminds me of riding the "It's a Small World" ride at Disney World. At the start, it's interesting, colorful, and the dancing is really amusing. If you stay too long, though, the music gets stuck in your head, all movement just seems wrong, and the colors make your eyes bleed. This isn't to say that Saturday night's Halloween party wasn't well done. I just really wish I'd been drunk. Colors are better when one can't find one's own feet. But I digress. Showing up slightly before the costume contest began, I was pleased to see that there was a large group gathered outside McDowell. There seemed to be a great deal of smoker/ non-smoker/undecided-but-catching-a-buzz-anyway bonding. This was impressive. This was growth. The Polity is becoming a better being. Also as soon as I arrived, I observed the Italian Princess, whose revealing pink ball gown was almost enough to tempt Cherry Garcia. Although it seemed from a distance that the Princess's proposition was initially refused, Cherry did look like he was having second thoughts. My suggestion is for the two to meet up again sometime this week to see if the romance still seems as viable as it did in the heat of the night. Inside of the Great Hall itself, we had the usual meshing of people who can and people who cannot dance. Ultimately, this distinction didn't matter, as the dance floor was so crowded that any sort of general gyration that coincided with the beginning and end of the song was impres- sive in and of itself (I myself am barely able to accomplish that much). Kudos to Mr. Hotdog and Mr. Gorilla for encouraging us to free our mimes. AT P is also proud of Linda Blair, whose acquaintance with Two Priests has done much to enlighten me about my mother's activities in Hell. The trio took the award for the Reality variation on "Scariest Costume," and, although the verdict could have easily gone to the Ptolemy Stone Psychic, the evidence of how Priest #1 's liberal vocabulary is spreading thro ughout the college was frightening enough. Being at a Reality party whilst sober when everyone is dancing is bad enough. Being at a Reality party whilst J.A.M. is trying to M.C. through a snarky microphone is worse. Right after I made up my mind to leave, I no ticed Superman going up on stage to do battle for such a cause. See? The Man of Steel likes body grinding, too. As I was leaving McDowell Hall, I noticed that some of our students had taken it upon themselves to begin the party clean up before the party was officially over. This is to say that, in their altered-mind states, their being-atwork-staying-themselves had manifested into a "helpful" nature wherein they felt it necessary to start tearing down decorations. May I suggest that, in the future, we find slightly more positive manifestations of drunken debauchery that won't offend the junior class member s that took the time to decorate? Most of them are already suicidal these days, anyway. Let's try to show some appreciation for their hard work. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE G AD FLY . 5 �THIS SATURDAY AND THE SJC FILM SOCIETY: are proud to present . . [i'~!~t·J;#f~~~~t. S'fopc.fdthe~:ris(~kf':/8~d~.1- 6 . . . . : . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �The Delegate Council Minutes by Erikk Geannikis Staff Writer Wed.10/27 Present were President Amy Taylor; Secretary Erikk Geannikis; Treasurer Kevin Grizzard; Polity Attorney Natalie Rinn; Delegates Aaron Brager, Pat Sullivan, Brian Jones, Billy Ladd-Cawthorne, Nicole Young, Jon Coppadge, Deborah Mangum, Lord Thomas Burbridge, Meghan Lockhard, Laura Cate, John Peterson, Ervin Romero, Jordan Gannon, Max Kronberg. Delegates Aaron Brager and Chester Martin arrived late, too late if you ask me. 11 :54 - Call to order. Treasurer's Report: $595 in account. 11 :55 - Paul Patrone introduces the Swim Club's Emergency Budget Request. 12:00 - Joan Henrikson introduces Senior Prank's Emergency Budget Request. 12:05 - Treasurer Kevin Grizzard revises the Treasurer's Report to fit reality: $555. 12:07 - Morion to revise Prank's request to $300 and leave the Swim Club's request at $157.56 and make both EVIs, seconded. Morion carries. 12:13 -The appointment of Don Stone and Audra Price as the DC's liaisons to the Board of Visitors & Governors made an EVI. 12:21-The election for the off-campus delegate position is set for Monday, November 8th. 12:22 - The Committee for Constitutional Review/Reconstruction (COCR) is formed. Chair: Erikk Geannikis. Members: Brian Jones, Aaron Brager, Billy LaddCawthorne, Max Kronberg, Deborah Mangum, Lord Thomas Burbridge, John Peterson. 12:28 - Voting: Both emergency funds requests pass, as does the appointment of the liaisons. Next DC Meeting set for Wednesday, November 17th. 12:30 -Adjourned. Music continued from page 4 phrases) and because of the pattern of tones. Specifically, I feel the shifting between the 1 and 5 tones in the beginning of the first phrase as a way of gaining momentum in order to hurl me upward - like when I used to do a 'long jump' in p.e., I would 'pump' a few rimes before jumping. After this 'pumping', I am thrown up by the music, but after the first phrase I am left hanging in the air in expectation (the 5 tone surely plays a role in this expectation, being unfulfilled and desiring a return to the 1). I might even say that my desires are being played with humorously during this beat of silence between phrases ("And the winner is .... [pause]"). Then I am let down again with the second phrase, releasing me from the discomfort of hanging, but dragging me down too low to the lower 5 tone, as though now I am crouched, my muscles tensed with potential. The next tone is clearly the 1 tone, and I am finally brought to a happy new beginning after a tiring introduction. I could say much more about the instruments used, the way the rhythm works, etc. I was only trying to articulate some of how I was moved, and I did it in several different ways. First, I gave myself an overview, like a catalogue of materials I might be able to work with, using technical and non-technical language. Then, I attempted an exploration of how I might move physically, in breath, in the motion of my eyes and body, etc, after which, I attempted to articulate how the physical motions might correspond to my (more important) internal motions: roughly, my desires and fulfillments. I used metaphors like up and down, momentum and potential energy, my imagination of what it would feel like to hang in mid-air; I used words like "erratic", "comic", "shifting" and "hurl". By speaking in this way, I was able partially to uncover my reactions in any way that seemed right to me, and I refined and added to my own metaphors as I progressed. Now that I have made some partial articulation, I feel that I understand the music more truly. Though I would have been affected by the music even ifl had not articulated my impressions, it would have remained formless while I let the music wash over my passive self. Now I have given it a form that I can grasp, thus heightening my own conscious awareness of the music. Furthermore, and most importantly, be- cause the music has moved me directly and is not really separate from me, I have gained a greater awareness of the motions of my own soul. Instead, I could have given a merely technical account of the music. I could have named each of the tones, described the rhythmic pattern, asserted that there were two phrases, etc. and then stopped, feeling certain that I had understood the music itself. But, as person A above might say, I would have been missing the point. Somehow, music is a thing both external and internal; something that we hear by means of our senses but which reaches into us and shifts things around while we are hearing it. Sometimes we get a strong urge to beat to the music, to get up and dance. Sometimes we feel that we must shake our heads in melancholy resignation. But why? Is it because the nature of music is not that of words? It seems true that the 'meaning' of music's phrases simply affects us even if we do not consciously attend to or think about it. In fact, heard, sensed music in a way is the meaning itself, for although it is a sensation, it directly, immediately corresponds to some shifting within our souls which we feel is meaningful. The sensation of the sounds of language, on the other hand (apart from inflections, etc.), is arbitrary; there is no correspondence in our souls; the meaning of the words in our minds is separate from the sensation itself. Thus, it is impossible to talk about music by playing games with words. When we do so, we are playing games with something that has no relevance to music itself. If we are to talk about music correctly, we must attend to the sensation of music and the corresponding motions within, and understand words as ways of bringing form to these motions. We must learn the technical words, knowing that they are not the thing itself, but that they are for the sake of articulating something greater and essential to our nature as human beings. If we fail to do so, we will be talking about something that has relevance neither to music nor to our lives, and the conversation will be meaningless, boring, empty. In studying music, then, let us be rigorous in our approach and our aims, and use speech in order to articulate what music truly is rather than to speak empty words without asking ourselves what they mean. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 The End continued from page 3 same men were there, and they managed to stay the same players. Pedro Martinez remembered that he was good.Johnny Damon hit a lead-off home run in the final game, just to be cute. Curt Schilling gave up one run in six innings, perhaps because seven would have been to hard, what with his ankle dangling by some tape. The others were there too, and were just as good: Manny, funny little Cabrera, white men with facial hair who need close-ups before you can determine their names, Ortiz, Foulke, etc. Derek Lowe pitched well, disappointing some sick part of Bill Simmons. They beat a team that had won 105 games during the regular season, they beat them in four games, they swept these powerful, you, hungry St. Louis Cardinals. The Red Sox won the World Series. The Red Sox won the World Series. For 86 years they fought and lost, had nightmare-names that haunted them, like Bucky, Buckner, Boone. The Red Sox won the World Series. Friends of mine called me drunk, delirious, saying things like, " I never thought I'd live to see;' and "I don't know what to do," and simpler things like, "My team won, my team finally won." The Red Sox won the World Series. Congratulations. Not Your Average Pumpkins by Natalie Rinn Staff Writer Ah, Fall. That lovely time of year newly parted from the warm verdure of summer and swimming in invigorating, crisp air, deep, rich colors, and of course, pumpkins. In fact, I find it hard to escape the pumkin. Sitting on doorsteps, carved or plane, pureed in pies or shelved in cans at the grocery store, the pumpkin is the ubiquitous sign of the season. Traditionally, in its many forms, the pumpkin is used as food or decor. For the Kunai, however, it is a much soughtafter trophy. At the game's conclusion last Tuesday, all Kunai gathered round a pumpkin-bearing Mr. Pickins. But in who's deserving hands would the pumpkin land? Those of the 2004 Kunai MVP. After adding yet another goal to an already unprecedented tally, Mr. Pickins had no choice but to bestow the pumpkin to, "the most consistently outstanding and dominating Kunai of all," uttered Mr. Pickins; "this year's MVP pumkin goes to Freya Thompson." A better decision, there could not be. After a whole season of consistently above-average soccer play, distinguished by one powerful left foot, this year's MVP pumpkin could have no home more deserving than Ms. Thompson's hands. The doling of the pumpkins, however, had not come to an end. One more very important pumpkin had yet to find a home. This one would be given to the one displaying, "inspired beastly play." This pumpkin had eyes for one very special Kuna who had spent weeks assuming the role of defensive punching bag, suffering noble and rather garish wounds: Ms. Mary Davenport. And indeed, to her, the pumpkin was given. The Kunai season will come to an exciting conclusion next Sunday with the annual Smith- McDowell cup. A team of Kunai captained by Mr. Leo Pickins will face a superior one captained by Ms. Joan Hendrickson and Natalie Rinn. All should venture down to lower campus on Sunday, November 7 rh at 2pm to watch the culminating event. Lecutre continued from page 5 the A Fortiori argument, and the Multiplicity argument. Humorously, Mr. Parens immediately stated his intention simply to take the Impossibility argument as true, at least until the Q&A period, focusing the rest of his lecture on the remaining two arguments. As to the A Fortiori argument, Mr. Parens says, "The problem is less in the citizens than in the ruler of the city. The issue is manifested in the unity that comes through being virtuous is increased in a universal regime." According to this contention, the ruler would need to be equally endowed with character formation / persuasion abilities and force / compulsion capabilities in order to create a worldwide Islamic regime. Because a single ruler cannot possess these two virtues equally well, especially during a state of war, many people would not peacefully switch over to Islam, causing a revolt. 8 Therefore, according to this argument, no one could ever successfully create a worldwide Islamic regime. Moving on to the Multiplicity argument, Mr. Parens stated the obvious problem with multiplicity of virtues that would come from a universal religion. Since every religion believes its laws are the closest to that of a true religion, the ruler of a universal religion "would have to make the similitudes the laws such that everyone could be guided by them. Since one cannot know a religion's opinions of noble and base action without having admission to "th that religion's moral vircourtesy of THE FUJ tues, this religion would be so vague that no one - 1 would believe in it." Therefore, there must be a variety of religions to go with a variety of moral beliefs. Concluding that these arguments can be implicitly found within Alfarabi's writings, Mr. Parens ended by claiming that while Alfarabi supported an empirical love of his religion, he believed man was simply could / should not strive for the homogeneous love oflslam. - -... ~ DATE DUE -- . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . f: - in fsk lCIETY ii � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 9 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2004-11-02 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 9 of The Gadfly. Published November 2, 2004. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.9 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/9b77166dd89986f65847eadfe9b0e977.pdf d8d6a38a7b550183ce3cf50d6bed3b42 PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1~nr1 1 1 1 r1 \1'1~1i1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 T HE ,vm,GAD FLY ---. The St. John's College Student Weekfy Volume XXVI, Issue 10 Annapolis, Maryland November 9, 2004 Civility and St. John's by John Verdi Tutor In any community, but especially in a small one such as ours, a concern for civility, broadly conceived, ought from time to time to occupy a prominent place in thought and conversation. By civility I mean not merely a kind of public politeness (though I intend this, too), but also all the ways of being a citizen in something analogous to a civis or polis. Civility at work is equivalent to good citizenship. 'X'hether we think the College community is succeeding or failing in promoting civil behavior, it behooves us to reflect on exactly how civility and its opposite manifest themselves here. Our hope should be that with heightened awareness and dialogue about the very notion of civility, we shall find ourselves behaving in ways that further our common endeavor, that is, our own ongoing education in the liberal arts. Much of what I'm about to say will seem obvious, perhaps even platitudinous; but sometimes "the aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity." (\Vittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations, 129) In this article I would like to proposewith little comment-twelve guidelines, principles or rules of civility, of civil discourse in particular. I think of these as beginnings to what I hope will become an extended public discussion of the forms civil behavior can take at St. John's. (In fact, I'll end these remarks with an opening question.) There should also be opportunity to investigate whether or not civility is even all that important to our living together. I for one think that it is, but the forms it takes in practice may be perceived as varying widely, Civility continued on back page Parents' Weekend: Euclid, Good Food by Willis McCumber Staff Writer Friday, the first day parents flooded t.he campus, dawned bright, windy, and electricity-free. I woke up at 8:00 "\...\1 to find my floor lit only by t.'ie emergency lights. The dining hall was dark and eerily silent, for the dish conveyer belt wasn't running. The toaster was off But the strangeness did..'l't end there. In fact, it went on to manifest itself in a manner much more concerned with the multitude of parents, as the rest of this article will demonstrate. My Euclid class consisted of fifteen students, j\fr. Burke, and a veritable herd of twenty or so parents packed in around the comers of the room. Despite l'vfr. Burke's characteristic charm and skill as a tutor, an air of nervous awkwardness settled into the room. As we avoided eyecontact with our parents, the conversation jumped and skittered around definition five of book five, occasionally leaning dangerously over on its side like a small ship on a stormy Euclidian sea. Although we avoided eye contact, we were glancing at them, seeing if they laughed when we did, trying dimly to judge their reactions. We listened to ourselves talk about same ratios and sticky questions of measure and magnitude recognizing we must sound eit..lier i.<npressively or stupidly esoteric. Fortunately, parents as a group are pretty tolerant. :i\fine, at least, take the Dickens (Great E:xpectations) maxim to heart: "a man knows his own business best." They underwent Greek, their faces by now largely expressionless, and managed to find some kind words afterwards. Saturday's Plato seminar and Euclid tutorials gave the parents a better taste of what St. John's is like. I, not having done the reading, sat on the sidelines of a markedly early-freshman-year-like seminar on the trial and death of Socrates. Personalities emerged in a familiar way as many good questions were raised and few satisfactorily answered. After a little vestigial hand-raising, the parents seemed to get the idea quickly. Perhaps predictably, connections were drawn to current events, including a few semi-comprehensible/ Parents' continued on page 2 �THE We Live on Floating Islands .,-GADFLY by Willis McCumber Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter We live on floating islands where the barley-fires are fueled with oar blades. Equilibrium exacts its mandatory fee. Kings flee. Sixteen more stades: Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein See how the running message by the spring fades: "as you drink this water, remember your fatherland. When the time comes, know on which side to fall." Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue The army comes to the isthmus and stalls. Low tide for the fleet. High tide for the beachcombers. Nick.Colten Matt Gates Ian King Willis McCumber Clarke Saylor Sean Valles John Verdi Founded in 1980, the Ga4f!y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadf!y staff. The Ga4f!y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Ga4f!y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 See how the beaches are awash with splinters of wooden walls, golden cups filled with sand by the quiet sea. A man walks along the sand. Gentle breeze off the sea-rocks, sunlit silence in the wagon-wide strait. Parents' continued from front page Sat. Nov. 13: Chinatown Shuttle departs gym lot at 10AM. appropriate anti-Republican hints. Still, I would say the mothers and fathers stuck to text admirably and discussed with passion and care. Our Euclid tutorial was consummately led by the Math Assistant. For me, it was a productive opportunity to revisit the definitions, postulates, and common notions. One parent tried to bring quantum physics into the discussion, while another, perhaps more legitimately, asked: ''.Aren't we making this a lot more complicated than we have to?'' To -which his son replied: ''Well, that's what we do at St. John's." According to Jo Ann Mattson of the Alumni Office, many ofthe parents expressed positive sentiments about the seminar and tutorials. It seemed tome the Alumni Office succeededin communicating to the parents what we're doing at St. John's, letriogthemjudgefur1hemselveswhetheritisworth- Sign up in the Asst. Deans Office. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . while or not. Sunday morning was the president's brunch, afterwhichmanyoftheparentsleft. Itgavemany students a welcome change ofpace from the dining hall, but at least one father was slightly disgruntled about the availability of the food. Apparently, he arrived at the brunch after it was already well underway, and the food supply had not been replenished. "I came to the president's brunch," he said, a nearly empty plate in front ofhim, "but all I got was a crust of bread" Luckily, more food arrived a few minutes later. �T Voting For Bush by Nick Colten Staff Writer ceptions to this general claim: (1) you are the child of very wealthy people who are in poor health, and you want to ensure It will come as no surprise to Gadf(y that the Estate Tax won't come back; (2) readers that I was disappointed with the you are a large shareholder and/ or the result of Election Day 2004. I was disap- CEO of a company in the military, energy pointed in 2000 of course-though or pharmaceutical industries; (3) you bemainly because of the Supreme Court's lieve that outlawing abortion is more imshameful role in it; had George W Bush portant than all other policy issues commanaged to actually win in 2000, I would bined; (4) you are a recruiter for an Islamic terrorist group. There may be a few other sorts of people who can reasonably expect to benefit from another four years of Bush, but they escape me at the moment. All other reasons for voting for Bush are illegitimate, and can only be explained-but not excused-on ignorance and self-deception. There are many dubious reasons that people offered for voting for Bush; I'll restrict He's got "Strategery". myself to just one in this article: his "values." Many Bush have still been disappointed, but as a sup- supporters praise Bush for having a good porter of democratic republicanism, I character; he has nothing of the sort. would have been able to grudgingly ac- Whether one wants to look at him as a cept the will of the majority and their Christian, as someone sworn to uphold choice of Bush. I cannot do so with this the Constitution, or just as a human beelection. ing, Bush will be found lacking. For the The reason for this change is simple: sake of brevity, I'll again restrict myself in 2000 Bush was relatively unknown by to addressing only one of these subjects: most Americans and, with little political Bush the Christian. experience, he was relatively untested. To The policies of the Bush administrasome this would be reason enough not tion were heavily skewed in favor of the to vote for him, and if one paid atten- rich and Bush himself is quite wealthy; tion, there were plenty of other reasons his administration took the side of inbesides them for not voting for Bush. All surance and pharmaceutical companies the same, I'm willing to allow for some against uninsured children and Thirddegree of wishful thinking on the part of world sufferers of AIDS; in his 2003 State the people who voted for him back in of the Union address he made a boastful 2000. I cannot be so lenient now, how- joke about killing suspected terrorists; and ever. lastly, Bush incited violence against AmeriHe and the other members of his ad- cans when_he taunted Iraqi insurgents to ministration have probably been the worst "bring it on" (since then hundreds of U.S. officeholders that the executive branch has troops havebeen killed and thousands ever had in U.S. history. Their three and a wounded). All these things I find diffihalf years in office has been a disaster in cult to reconcile with the teachings of almost every respect and there is no rea- Jesus, whom Bush has called his favorite son to expect that things will improve in philosopher and his personal Savior. their next term of office. In addition, the Bush administration Simply put, voting for Bush was ut- has pursued a policy of torture in Afterly indefensible. There are only a few ex- ghanistan, Iraq and the Guantanamo base. Some Bush supporters have wanted to excuse what they euphemistically refer to as "prisoner abuse" by blaming a few lowranking soldiers; this position is untenable in light of Justice and Defense Department memos first reported on in the summer by The Wall Street Journal and other newspapers. The memos provided outrageous definitions of what does and does not constitute torture-causing pain less than that accompanying major organ failure or death is permissible so long as it is inflicted to extract information and not purely to cause suffering. The fact that the administration sought to redefine torture, and did so in such a ridiculously narrow manner, is clear evidence that it had a deliberate policy of torture. There are arguments that justify the use of torture, however I think they are dubious on both moral and practical grounds; it is also illegal. In any case, the arguments are not Christian ones, for it is simply impossible to make torturing suspected terrorists compatible with The Golden Rule. Simply for condoning torture, Bush gives up any claim to being a Christian; and as far as I am concerned, if you voted for Bush, you too are condoning torture and have no right to consider yourself a Christian. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Child's Play by Ian King Throughout my life I have not been prone to acts of charity that reach outside my immediate circle of acquaintances, ifl do any at all. My high school required community service as a graduation necessity and I spent some time at my local soup kitchen to take care of the hours. While this was not necessarily a pleasant experience (I was attacked by a man with a knife for giving him three potato wedges as opposed to two) I do think it was somewhat worthwhile. I was made well aware of situations I had no desire to be in, and came to understand there are people in this world that could use some help because they are not capable of fending for themselves. So now some of you may be thinking, "I see. It's the holidays, and Fuzz, like everybody else, has some charity bug up his arse and wants people to go do good deeds." Or those of you who know me better may think I will extol you to not help the weak and make them get their own affairs in order or do us the favor of Darwinistically leaving us. I will not be doing the latter though I would advise people to look closely to see if their charity is in fact achieving its intended purpose. I do however have an agenda which I am going to express. Last year, Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins, better known as Gabe and Tycho of www.Penny-arcade.com, became fed up with the constant negative portrayals of gamers. For those of you who are not familiar with the term, a gamer is generally known as a person who plays either video games or table top games, playstation, dungeons and dragons, etc. They decided that the constant negative press and government attacks on their section of society were unwarranted and certainly did not give the whole understanding of the group of people which they are a part of. Gabe and Tycho determined it was necessary to show gamers were good people who simply needed a 4 chance to prove themselves to the world. This led to the inception of Childs Play (www.childsplaycharity.org). Childs Play is an organization which began last year in Seattle. The objective was to bring some joy to the children in the Seattle Children's Hospital for the holiday and the rest of the year as well. Gabe and Tycho run one of the largest non corporate gaming related websites in the world. They teamed up with their local children's hospital and implored their readers to aide them. They created a website which linked to a wish list they created on amazon.com. This wish list contained a large number of toys, games, and game systems which they felt would greatly increase the happiness of those who were unfortunate enough to find themselves in the hospital. The faith shown in the readers was quickly proven not to be in vain. After just the first week there was over thirty thousand dollars in gaming paraphernalia and money donated. This was unprecedented and the donations simply began to roll in. Going into the exploit with moderate expectations was a mistake they gladly paid for. Gabe and Tycho had the gifts sent to their house so they could gather them and bring the whole load at Christmas. This however quickly became an obvious impossibility. They quickly had to move the gifts out of their garage and into a storage facility, which quickly became too small and they had to move their donations yet again. This time into a small warehouse, which was kindly donated by a local company. In the end there was over $250,000 worth of gifts and cash gathered for the hospital, and they needed a semi and 15 people to deliver the toys. This year they have expanded the operation to include more hospitals so that people can donate to one closer to their home. Also the gifts are shipped directly to the hospitals this year. There are a number of testimonials and pictures on the website which I think that you should go look at, however I will not mention these here. The question is then, why do I bring this up? One of the reasons is that I am a gamer and I wish to spread the love that I have for this to others. This charity also paints my kind in a good light, which I think is very necessary, especially in the current state of the world. There is also a more personal reason for bringing this to the attention of the polity. I have a cousin who will be six this year. She was born without her right arm and only one of the bones in her lower right leg. Also, during my freshman year she began having seizures which were caused by a brain tumor which she had to have removed. She has had numerous surgeries and will need many more to even have a semblance of normal locomotion. When I go home she usually asks me to play games with her and I can see how much joy it brings to her. She is able to forget all the pains in her life, just as I did when I was young. My problems certainly didn't compare but I remember how nice it was to get away from life for a while. I have been to these hospitals and I have seen what it is like to be in these conditions. The gifts which I provided last year and those I will give this year will go to give kids in a real sh*t situation some escape and fun. So I ask you to check out the website (www.childsplaycharity.org) there are letters there from former patients which do the subject more justice than I can. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �St. John's Senior's Vietnam Wounds are More Than Just Skin Deep by Matt Gates I had been led for hours by my guide, a softspoken,ill-kemptyoungman with bad facial hair, through the labyrinth of once-stately buildings poised on the edge of the public housfilg projects and yawning pits of the obscure state capitol At long last we reached our destination. "Campbell Hall" was a smelly, over-heated, badly-lit tenement inhabited primarily by unwashed eighteenyear-olds who had come to the blgc.itywith starryeyed dreams of liberal education and nothing but unbearable pretensions in their pockets. Ominous signs covered the walls, inscribed with such cryptic sayings as ''If You're Going to Tap It, Wrap It" and "If It's Brown, Flush It Down," futile attempts to allay the demoralizing squalor of the place. We entered a room numbered siinply "108" the walls ofwhich were decorated with bizarre ancient Egyptian insignia. In the shadows sat a shirtless, emaciated man with close- cropped hair and tentacle-like scars stretching across his torso, crouched over a lighter on which he was cooking heroine in a spoon. His dog tag read siinply ''Tobin Herringshaw; RA." ''When I close my eyes, I'm back in the jungle;' he said in a low rasp. ''We were fired upon constantly by Charlie when we rode the swift boat up the Mekong to Sturgeonville." Here Herringshaw paused to load the contents of the spoon into a syringe and tie a piece of string tightly around his non-existent bicep. "That was the awful month I was stationed in Poon Tang;' he continued, sticking a needle into a bulbous vein that had appeared from nowhere on his twig-like forearm. ''What little of my platoon wasn't sniped off byJane Fonda was sauteed by tigers and served in a tangy rum sauce. I feel as though I could swallow the world in a yawn." Fearing that this poor off-scouring of the merciless tides of history might, in fact, be crazy, I made a motion towards the door, making some vague comment about being late for yoga ''Please don't go;' Herringshaw pleaded. "I can show you my poetry. Did you know I write poetry? Or movie scripts. I've written lots of movie scripts. One day I'm going to sell one and get out of this bitter abyss. I think the key to commercial success is buried deep in Aristotle's Poetics." I then proceeded to spend the next several hours listening to over-acted highlights from scripts about "Dungeons and Dragons" mysteriously becoming a child's reality, about car racing in Wyoming, as well as a setting of the Oedipus cycle in Fifteenth Century B.C. Egypt, and a romantic comedy set at an unnamed great books college on the eastern seaboard, which seemed to consist oflittle else than witty repartee in bars and trash-talking during pick-up basketball games. ''But all these delicate flowers of my inner life are just distractions from the horror, the horror..." Herringshawwheezed phlegmatically as I bolted for the door, my eye filled with an involuntary tear. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Stop Taking Yourself So F-ing Seriously: Election Edition by Sean Valles Staff Writer to promote and demand strong anti-war candidates as early as last year. It is a party's responsibility to see to it their very best members enter the race. Howard Dean's candidacy was a cruel joke. Despite his disproportionate amount of press, the media's fascination with him extended only as far as his asinine antics. The decision to report on the screaming habits of some d*ckhead from Vermont, as opposed to the platforms of the various candidates, was completely inappropriate given the level of political George W Bush has been elected to his second term as President of the United States of America. He clearly won by both a traditional democratic majority and by the convoluted system of the Electoral College. These facts bother me very greatly as a strong supporter of the majority of the political and social tenets of Liberalism. But that does not mean I have lost all touch with the reality of the situation. The Republican Party, with Bush as its spokesman, earned its victory, and did so fairly (at least as fairly as any national election will ever be won). But why did this election's results come as such a shock to so many millions of Democrats? This shock could be heard echoing through news media and hallways on November third, as if there were ever any indication that the results could have been otherwise. Ever since the Democratic Convention of Unfortunately this black minister failed to exorcise Kerry's 2004, it became the dirty little secret of demons, causing him to lose the crucial Ohio black vote. Kerry's supporters that few of them actually thought his platform had much objective merit, only subjective merit when unrest in the country. That was a journaliscompared to that of Bush. Doing my best tic failure, which I believe approaches, in not to lend credence to the old stereotype gravity, the media's acquiescence to the secthat liberals live in fantasy worlds, I would ond war in Iraq. Does anybody remember have to say such fantastical thinking was Kerry's "surprise victory" during the Demoprevalent in the Kerry campaign. I do think, cratic Primaries? How can that many punhowever, this self-imposed suspension of dits and media analysts be that surprised? the obvious was entirely rational, despite By ignoring the relevant issues, that's how. its eventual failure. Bush's political enemies Throughout the extensive coverage of the were simply not willing to risk a political primaries it was enormously difficult to sift civil war within its ideologically heteroge- through the vapid hypothesizing and actuneous consortium, as it relied so heavily on ally discover the differences between the canthe structures of the feeble (but necessary) didates. There is no excuse for the media to Democratic Party. Approximately half of say so much and communicate so little. the U.S. unwittingly conceded four years of Of the candidates, Kerry probably had executive control by forgetting the maxim the best combination of character and platthat politicians will only be as courageous form, and that is pathetic. Don't get me and reliable as the people force them to be. wrong; I like John Kerry. After over a deShame on the An ti-Bush league. They sold cade of watching his decisions as my senaout their beliefs in the vain hope of being tor, and doing some research into his past, I able to convincingly fake unity until No- came to have a great deal of respect for his vember third. quiet integrity. But, that quiet integrity is It could have been otherwise. The not a quali"ty that can compete with Bush's Democratic Party could have been pressured overtures of moralism. Wartime actions 6 aside, John Kerry did two truly great things for his country in his life: He faced the ridicule and hatred of an entire nation by leading veteran opposition to the Vietnam war, even testifying before Congress. Later in his life, during the Senate investigation into the Iran-Contra scandal, Kerry risked political exile by defying leaders of both parties and leading the investigation deeper into the scandal than either party wished it to go. Agree or disagree, those actions require a sense of integrity that transcends personal risk. And Kerry's campaign chose to materially ignore those two greatest deeds during his campaign. Perhaps he had bad advisors, perhaps his integrity prevented him from constantly congratulating himself for being selfless; either way, he kept it almost completely to himself. Unfortunately, personal integrity doesn't mean sh*t in a presidential election (just ask John McCain). So, why was John Kerry the Democrats' best foot forward? Is it his equine good looks? His Kissinger-esque charisma? Perhaps it's that universal appeal of New England aloofness. He just wasn't up to out-campaigning the single greatest political fundraiser in history. So yeah, I was shocked that he lost. The Democrats really screwed the pooch on this one. They needed to defeat the president who started an increasingly unsuccessful war, so they endorsed a pro-war candidate. They needed to defeat a charming smooth-talker from Texas, so th ey sent one of the ugliest and most boring men in politics. Never send a Dukakis to do a Roosevelt's job. So, Kerry lost. The Democrats lost. And now the liberal agenda has been set back somewhere between ten and sixty years (Civil liberties advocates might measure it in centuries, but who's counting?). And you know what? The Democrats earned it. They earned every damn swing vote that went to the Republicans. When a party doesn't have a solid message, the people will vote for a party that does have one, no matter how damn stupid it might be. This is a huge problem when there is a two party system. And don't you dare say, "the Green Party is a party too!" It . THE G ADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Seriously continued on back page �this saturday, FILM SOCIETY presents our prelude to the Super Secret Mystery Movie ... . 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . : . . . �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Civility continued from front page and some discussion of these manifestations could be enlightening. 1) Civil behavior is an essential component of good citizenship, and may even be equivalent to it. Civil behavior is an acknowledgement that the concerns of others have a proper place alongside my own. 2) Civil discourse is bounded. Participants agree, either explicitly or implicitly, to limit the scope of what may be said in a discussion. This is most in evidence in our classes. 3) Civil discourse shuns reliance on authority as much as possible. The intrusion of authority into a discussion separates at least one member from the others, and thereby threatens the commonality of the enterprise. 4) Formal modes of address help maintain an attitude of respect and dispassion in civil conversation (at least usually!). 5) Civil discourse requires that we be prepared to put ourselves and our ideas at risk. In order for this to be possible community members must feel that they and their ideas and their questions will be taken seriously at all times. 6) In a genuine discussion participants attempt to find the maximum amount of common ground with one another. It is often the case that the continuing of the conversation takes precedence over the drawing of conclusions, however tempting such closure may be. 7) Civil discourse requires both sympathetic listening and engaged speaking. The former, which might also be called civil listening, demands that we listen with our ears, not our mouths. That is, we listen to find what is best in what someone is saying; we thereby acknowledge that the other is someone like me. Engaged speaking is carried on with broad vision and with an eye on common purposes. 8) Such civil discourse opens up spaces for disagreements to be aired without bringing the conversation to a halt. 9) It demands that when we disagree, we not become offensive, cynical or silent. 8 10) To discuss civilly- and perhaps to be civil in general- I must be willing to place the goals of the community above my own comfort. For a student this might mean speaking in class when he or she would rather not. For all community members it means not insisting on being left alone when by participating I can improve the community, no matter how uncomfortable participation may be for me. 11) Self-governance is a mode of civility. At St. John's the faculty tries to govern itself in many different ways. The Dean, Assistant Dean and Graduate Institute Director are chosen from the faculty itself, and they serve for limited terms. At faculty meetings we try to discuss all manner of College concerns, from the Program and our teaching in it, to the plans for the new dorm and the place athletics has here. We try to remain vigilant about not allowing self-governance to erode, but we often fail to achieve our ideal. 12) Civility, as it manifests itself in discussion, requires that I recognize the possibility that what someone might say has the power to change the way I see. After this long introduction, I can now ask my opening question: How goes it with civility at St. John's? Seriously continued from page 6 isn't. It's a lobbyist group that every oncein-a-while gets a city council member elected in West Bumf*ck, Vermont. The Democratic Party is on life support. And as far as I'm concerned now, its euthanasia couldn't come soon enough. Personally, I'm sick of the Democrats' strongest moral stand being: "We hate the f*cking gays less than the Republicans do!" As frustrating as all of this is, I'd like to look on the bright side of the knife and say that this is a unique opportunity for the party to escape from it's identity as "Republicanism Lite." Right now, about all that keeps the Democratic Party in any state of existence is that about half of the country's electorate chooses to use the term "Democrat" as the negation of "Republican." The Democrats have hit rock bottom. And there's nowhere to go but up. But they must choose to either repeat their mediocre mistakes of the recent past or to rebuild themselves as a genuine and definitiv e ideological alternative to the Conservatism that now pervades every branch of the Federal Government. Please, Democrats, take the red pill and move toward the future with new eyes. And do it quick, because I swear to God, if I ever hear the words "President Cheney" I'm f*cking moving to Neptune. Annapolis Businesses Advi hundreds DATE DUE and reach tutors) alumni me 2800 4 orcal/410-263-2371ext.2212 (the Gadfly Office) . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 10 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2004-11-09 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 10 of The Gadfly. Published November 9, 2004. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.10 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/b10ff162502062cea0bb720debb367d5.pdf 632eb79964e98d5e6b849f98676137cd PDF Text Text 1 TH ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY E111111111111~1~1ir~1~1~11~ A D FLy The St. John} College Stu dent Weekjy Volume XXVI, Issue 11 Annapolis, Ma9'1and November 16, 2004 Fraud in the Six ''Ignorant, Self-Deceiving'' Reasons to Vote for Bush 2004 Election by Isaac Weiner On Tuesday, November 2nd, over 100 million people went to the polls to cast a vote for the next president of the United States. Many others had already participated in early voting, or mailed in absentee ballots. This remarkably high turnout was unprecedented, and the media hailed the election as one of the most significant in years, citing the passionate ideological differences between parties, as well as the major domestic and internationalissues at stake. But there was another aspect of the 2004 election, equally unprecedented, which received comparatively little attention. Following the debacle of 2000, where the ambiguity of punchcard ballots resulted in many votes being discarded i.n key states like Florida, several states took the initiative of introducing electror>jc voti.ng machines (touch screen, which produce no paper record, and optical scan) on a far wider basis than in the past. Some states, like Georgia and I\faryland, universally adopted touch-screen machines (also known as DREs, or Direct Recording Electronic). DREs in 2004 accounted for 30.8% of registered voters; optical scan machines, which read and record paper ballots filled out by the voter, accou..'lted for aiJ.other 33. 7% (see "'ww.electiondataservi.ces.com). ,AJl of these machines are made by no more than a dozen companies, ofwhich three have the largest share: The Diebold Corporation, Election Systems & Software, and Sequoia Voting Systems. The intention of this article is to raise awareness of the possibility that massive fraud occurred in the 2004 elections, by means of these electronic voting machines. In what follows I will outline a number of reasons why one ought by Kyle Varner to be suspicious of fraud, ofwhich, as yet, there is no proof In light of this latter fact, I will also, in explaining my data, propose some alternative theories to the one of fraud. My goal is not simply to focus on this particular election, but also to highlight the particular sensitivity to fraud of any voting machine that does not produce a paper record (that is, a receipt that prints out of the machine saying how your anonymous vote was counted; this receipt would be left at t11e polling station a..'ld saved in case a recount is necessary or a machine breaks down). One of the primary reasons for suspicion has to do with the exit polls. In 2004, The National Election Pool, a consortiu...'Il formed by most of the major news media (CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS,FOX,~\PNews) hired two companies, Edison l\fedia Research and l\fitofsky International (www.exit-poll.net), to conduct the exit polls for them. These companies have been in business for a number of decades and produce fairly accurate results: + /- 3% for a national poll,+/- 4% for a state poll. This year, pollsters questioned anywhere from 700 to 3000 people Election continued on page 8 After reading ]\fr. Colten's recent diatribe against President Bush and his supporters, I find myself deeply disturbed and profoundly disappointed. Itis d1e logical conclusion ofMr. Colten's argument that, with regard to the presidential election, there is no room for good faith disagreement. He claims, "/1.ll other reasons for voting for Bush are illegitimate, and can only be explained-but not excused--on ignorance and self-deception." Ifl\Ir. Colten is correct, let this article serve as my indictment as a self-deceiving ignoramus. Before I begin, let it be made dear that I did not vote for the President's re-election. Instead, I cast my ballot in favor of Michael Badnarik, the Libertarian nominee. Had I been registered in a "swing state," I would have readily opted for President Bush. The following are a few of my reasons: 1) I believe that the Bush tax cuts are fair, and good for everyone. This addresses the often repeated complaint that most of the tax relief goes to the "rich." To say that it doesn't would be to deny arithn1etic. But, since the rich pay far more than ever1one else, if everyone gets a tax cut, the amount the rich save will be more than the amount the poor save. It just makes sense. They were putting more in, they also save more when the rates go down. This appeals to my sense of fairness. Secondly, I believe that cutting taxes for the rich provides more economic stimulus than cutting ta,.,.es for the poor. This is beReasons continued on page 10 �THE ....-GADFLY Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Aaron Brager Samantha Buker Nick.Colten Matt Gates Miriam Keim Max Kronberg Leo Pickens Seth Price Daniel Schwartz Kyle Varner Isaac Weiner Sarah Wilson NicZakheim LeeZlotoff Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gac!f!Y staff. The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spellin~ in most cas~s. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all subffilssions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 IT Explanation of Network Problems Dear Polity, 1hereasons for the recent outages are as follows: The first reason was the upgrade ofthe network equipment throughout the entire college in early October. After the power outagelastweek a few of the network devices on the student network did not successfully come back online. This problem took down portions of the student network from Friday (November Sth), through Monday (November sm) only. The problems with the network throughout the last fewmonthshave been caused by a deliberate ornon-deliberateDenial of Service attack originating from a student dormitory on campus. A denial of service (DoS) attackis anincidentin which a user or organization is deprived of the services of a resource they would normally expect to have. We have made efforts to further protect our student network from this type of attack in the future and we believe we have contained the problem. I would also like to mention some ofthe Information Technology Policieswehavein place to prevent this type of abuse. By signing the network registration card, you agreed to follow these policies. This is not a comprehensive list of policies; however, it includes items related to the cause of the recent network outages. Servers All servers operating on campus must do so with the knowledge and consent oftheDirec:tor of IT. A server is defined as any computer providing services of any type to other computers . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . on thenetwork,oronextemalnetworks. Such services couldincludeDNS,DHCP, SN1-1P,E-mailand application, file and/ orprintersharing. Inorderto request the deployment of a server on the network, written petition must be made. Supported Operating Systems include Wmdows 98,ME,2000,orXPProfessional,aswellas:MacG3 or higher. Server Operating systems such as Linux, FreeBSD, Unix, or Wmdows Server are not supported and should not be run on the network without the approval mentioned above. Network Capture You must not attempt to intercept, capture, alter, or interfere in anyway with information on campus or global network paths. This includes attempts to ''Sniff" network traffi::. Breach of Security This is an attempt to circumvent the protection that the College has in place topreventunauthorizedaccess;oranyactionwbich reduces the security of the College's romputer and network resources. Examples are attempts to misappropriate passwords, attempts to gain unauthorized access, or sharing your password with others. The College uses a security system on the studentnetwotkwbichrequiresyou to register the physical address ofyour romputer in our database. This allows us to track down the userin situations where they are disrupting network connectivity. Any attempts to bypass this system are considered a breach of security. Enforcementofthesepoliciesmayresultinloss ofnetworkaccess (temporary or permanent) for the offender. Seth Price Network Administrator St. John's CoDege Filming Completed DearJohnnies et al, We have just recently completed filming on both campuses and, after some four weeks of shooting like mad men, we have successfully taped over 85 interviews, dozens upon dozens of activities, and pretty much anything else we could point a camera towards. And,nowthatwe'refacedwithcloseto 70 hours of material to sort through, we thought it fitting to take a breath and say...THANK YOU. Thank you to all the students, tutors, alumni, administration and staffwho generously gave us their time and cooperation. Thank you to the buildings andgroundscrewsforturningofftheirlawnmowers when we needed a touch more silence, for helping us scramble up onto all those roofs and towers, and to the security crews for running to lock and unlockdoorsatallhours. In short, thanks to every- �one for embracing, tolerating and enduring our intrusions; you were, all ofyou, just great And, while we did our best to tread lightly, trying to capture the essence of a place like St John's is no small task under the best of circumstances. So we sincerely apologize ifwe didn't get to record your activity as planned, or we didn't get to interview as many of you as we hoped, or we troubled, upset or inconvenienced anyone. But this extended community is simply too rich, active and diverse to easily or completely cover even with more than a solid month of filming Though we are, in equal parts, daunted and excited by the Herculean editing process thatnow lies ahead,Icansayweareconfidentyouhaveprovided uswitheverythingwemightneed- (maythegods be with us)-- to produce something that honestly reflectsjusthowunique,meaningfulandtransfonningtheStJohn'sexperiencecanbe. Sowishusluckl And stay tuned for further updates. Yours, on behalf of the St. John's film crew, Lee Zlotoff An Offended R.eader To the editor: Over the past three years, I have leamed to take Nick Colten's Gat!/Jyrants about everything ~ectures, program readings, politics, movies, the weather, etc.) with a healthy dose of salt In fact, I happen to like Nick Colten as person. However, in his article last week, Nick Colten crossed the line. His concluding words, "as far as I am concemed, if you voted for Bush, you. ..have no right to consider yourself a good Christian," might have been seen as funny if his atheism was well known throughout campus, andifhehad been meaning to say this as a joke. But he most certainly didn't seem to be joking: Now, I don't know what a good Christian is, but even if I did, I would never think that it is acceptable to allow such uninformed, bigoted, hypocritical judgments or statments in any sort of (hopefully) unbiased publication. I know that the most prevalent format of Gat!f!yarticles tends to be more personal opinion pieces (see ''Stop Taking Yourself So..."), and more often than not either amusing, or stillnothombly offensive and uninformative at the same time. Yet personal opinion pieces be damned, Nick Colten's article was a highly offensive attempt to be politically influential (not to mention instill some sort of religious guilt into Bush/Republican voters) by insulting people's intelligence and religious preferences. This article should not have been published. Sincerely, NicZakheim Dear Jewish Anonymous Man (Aaron Brager): You gave me a poster for my birthday of a child choking a cat, with subtitles that read, "So many cats, so few recipes." It is commonly said that there's more than one way to skin a cat, i.e., there are numerous ways to skin a cat. Now, as I understand it, there's only one way to skin a cow, which is an animal used in countless recipes: hamburgers, steaks, croquettes, beef stew, spaghetti with meatballs, sausage, to name but a few. I mean, aren't cows just processed through some cow killing/ skinning machine? There's only one way to skin them, yet they yield such a broad variety of delicacies. On the other hand, your poster, which is now mine, seems to claim that there are few recipes for cats, despite the fact that (as we all know) there are numerous ways to skin them. Can you Jews clue me in on this apparent discrepancy? I would like to know any recipes you may have involving cats, so that I may enjoy that famous palate-pleaser. Thank you. Super Human Underdog Nonchalant Japanese Icon Dear S.H.U.N.J.I.: Well, it turns out that the number of ways to skin a creature is inversely proportional to the number of recipes that require it. The proof for this, as described in the Junior Math Calculus Manual, is simple and elegant. In fact, it is so simple and elegant that it consists of only one step, and we do not understand what has happened. It has something to do with a cat approaching a straight line at Lim. ~ -> 0. We think that the cat is then scared out of its skin. Cows, on the other hand, are too fat to approach a straight line. They can sort of waddle over to it, but that's not quite the same thing. Also, Isaac Newton has a strict no-waddling policy outlined in the General Scholium in Principia. Anyway, here's a delicious cat recipe, modeled on the proof for simplicity and elegance: DELICIOUS CAT IN DUCK SAUCE Step 1. Get a delicious cat in duck sauce. There you have it. We're glad we could help. -J.A.M.A.B. (with special guest star Max Kronberg!) The following letter has been edited due to its extreme length and content. (Seriously, Dave, what's with all the drug references? It's like you don't even want to work here any more.) It has also been edited, because that makes it like a giant MadLibs™ for us. Dear Jew's Clues, So I was wondering what the [H.E. Double Hockey Sticks] is up with the phantom Hostess Fruit Pies™. You know, those pies that are sometimes inside the [aardvark] vending machines, but usually aren't because Jews' Clues continud on page 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Jews' Clues Continued from page 3 [precariously] stale mini-donuts are way more [slimy] than delicious, immortal Hostess™brand Apple and Cherry [condoms] with their sweet, [sexually attractive] glaze of artificial cancerous sugar-like [sugar], and their delectable pseudo-neon-colored interiors of fruit-esque syrupy sweet yum-yum-ness. So, yeah, by "what is up" I mean: 1. Why are the [ligers] only sometimes in the machines, and in [stocky] machines each time I [defenestrate] them (but never are the lusted-after [spoons] in [3.1415] [emancipated] [rocket ships] on [psychotic knifewielding mother who turns out to be son] at the same [l\fagic Johnson])? 2. [This number has been erased, due to the high number of drug references. Instead, here's a picture of a pony. To preserve some of the author's original intent, the pony is smoking crack, and has a large bag of crack. For no reason, the pony also appears to be a unicom-wingpony-ballerina-pony with hearts on its feet. It is also obviously hung over. We hypothesize that it sold its rear right footheart for the crack it is currently consuming.] 3. [This number has been left as-is, due to the unbelievably high number of drug references.] If a crack dealer gives you a little bit of really good crack for like $1 and after you hit the glass pipe at home you say to yourself, "OH BOY I need some more of that" and you go out but the dealer is not there! And then you look and look but then a different dealer is on 3278 Pine Street and he gives you some crack for a dollar and you smoke it but then you need more so you go out and DAMMIT NO DEALERS ARE OUT but then you find the original one and he says, "OH NO DAVE I do not have crack this time but how about some pot or maybe crystal meth?" Well this is just like these [dad gumm] pies I mean why the hell can't I get some [dad gumm] pies in the [dad gumm] vending machines I NEED THEM GOD FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY I NEED THEM!@# Thank you for your time and cooperation, Dude, A Very Icky Dirt Plopped Right Onto Some Poor Eskimo's Rug 4 THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . Dear D.A.V.I.D.P.R.0.S.P.E.R.: We don't understand any of your questions, or even any part of them. Some may say this is due to our wanton editing policies, but we disagree. We also think that you should probably look into some kind of 12-step program, like the one we are about to propose: !! ALL NEW JEWS CLUES 12-STEP PROGRAM FOR WELLNESS !! Step 1: Deny you have any problem. Sure, you may have sold your birthright for a bowl of soup, but you can quit soup anytime you want. You just don't ever want to. Step 2: Admit you have a problem, and immediately go to Step 3. Step 3: Blame somebody else. It's not your fault you beat your kids, it's simply your reaction to your father having beaten you, and what better way to show your old man than to hit small children. That'll teach him to hit you. HA HA old man, looks like you'll remember this lesson for a long time. Step 4: Apologize to everyone who has been harmed by your addiction. The apologies should go something like this: "Sorry I set fire to your dog, but I was on drugs, so it's fine. Thanks for forgiving me, even though it's not my fault, remember, but the fault of those drugs. I hope you have pet insurance. No? Well, then I hope you'll accept this puppy from me. What? Oh, well, I lit him on fire on the way over. I thought about drugs. Oops." Step 5: This is usually an earlier step but we forgot. Have faith in a higher power. Notice that we are very pc and do not specify what kind of higher power. Some perennial favorites are The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, Loki, trickster god of the Norse, and Gumby, that green Claymation god. Step 6: Halfway home. Make sure to fall off the wagon. Step 7: Send food to Max Kronberg, Campus Mail. This will insure that all you do is fine, and we have food. Step 8: You are now probably remembering how much fun it was to fall off the wagon, so hang out with the uncool kids, who won't be doing drugs. Hey, remember when this was generic and we didn't specify what the addiction was? Well, it's drugs now. Everyone ends up addicted to drugs. Medical fact. Look it up. Druggie. Step 9: At this point you may realize that the Jews' Clues 12-step program kind of sucks. Fight this realization. It is the devil, trying to lure you back into addiction. Step 10: Square the circle. The circle of addiction. If you don't understand, you're clearly not ready for Step 11. Step 11: Circle the square, using only a protractor, a rubber band, and a paperclip made up of tiny rubber bands. Hint: You can't fit a square peg into a round hole ... unless, of course, the hole's really big. Step 12: Hooray, you're all better. 12 is a lot of steps. -J.C. J.C.'s Shaloms Shalom to our Junior Lab class. Before, we didn't understand pulleys, but we had faith in them. Now, we don't believe in them. Shalom to Lee Branner. Have a happy birthday. Shalom to Meghan Lockard. If you change two letters in your name, it would be Meghan Rockhard. Shalom to Lizzy Scott. We've heard you like the nickname Lizzy, and wish more people would use that instead of Elizabeth. Mike Dobbyn's Question Quorner: Is there any man on campus who is not in love with Jen Fait? �' ! Lecture Review: The Use of Infinity in Mathematics by Daniel Schwartz Staff Writer Though Harold Edwards, a professor in the department of mathematics at NYU, titled last Friday's lecture "The Use of Infinity in :Mathematics," he presented himself more as the bearer of a tragic history, that of the defeat of the Aristotelian potential infinity by Cantor and set theory, than as a mathematician. He began in much the same way as St. John's juniors begin in their math tutorials. After briefly discussing Zeno's paradoxes, he revealed Aristotle's answer: Zeno's problem is with infinity. One has to avoid thinking of the infinite as an actual quantity. If one is to think of infinity, one must restrict oneself to thinking of an infinite potential for the human mind to divide or expand quantities. The standard history of calculus, Professor Edwards went on, begins with its introduction by Newton and Leibniz. But, he says, the calculus was not rigorous until the introduction of delta and epsilon notation in the nineteenth century. From there, Cantor went on to overcome the problems with his introduction of set theory, and by the 1950s, mathematicians had no doubts when they spoke of infinite sets. This version of the history, Professor Edwards made clear, was not his version. If Newton had seen the delta and epsilon notation of the nineteenth century, he would have said, ''Yes, of course. Isn't that what I said?" In response to criticisms asserting Leibniz used differentials as actual quantities of infinite smallness, Professor Edwards cited a quote from La Croix saying Leibniz conceived of differentials not as actual quantities, but as so small that they result in an error less than any given magnitude. Gauss further emphasized the fact that calculus makes use of infinity as a potential only. Completed infinites, Gauss said, are never allowed in mathematics. Calculus refers not to actual infinities, but to limits which certain ratios approach. How, then, did Cantor succeed against Newton, Leibniz, and Gauss? With the help, said Professor Edwards, of Fourier and Riemann. Riemann, for instance, proved of great influence because of the strength of the mathematical techniques that led to his famous (and still unproved) hypothesis, even though the foundations for those techniques revealed a flawed view of infinity. Dedekind, a personal friend of Riemann, engaged in similar conceptual errors with, for example, his Dedekind Cut. Unfortunately, Professor Edwards was rather vague in this part of the lecture. Since the whole lecture was only forty-five minutes long, he could have afforded some elaboration at this point so that non-mathematicians would be clear about the exact nature of Riemann's and Dedekind's errors. A quick internet search, however, gives me a place to start. The Dedekind Cut seems to have something to do with dividing the set of rational numbers into two subsets, one larger and one smaller. Clearly; such a division stands opposed to the Aristotelian and Gaussian view of the use of infinity in mathematics; yet it is, according to Professor Edwards, commonly accepted today. There were few naysayers in the mathematical revolution of the nineteenth century; one of these heroic few was Leopold Kronecker. Real numbers such as pi, according to Kronecker, do not exist as actuals, but only things that are becoming. To say that pi equals 3.1415 ... is misleading, since it characterizes pi as an actual number. After Kronecker's death, actual infinity came to dominate and very shortly proved addictive. In modem mathematics, Kronecker is regarded as a reactionary; but he is on the upswing, said Professor Edwards, largely because of computers. We want computers to calculate for us, and we want them to finish calculating within some finite period of time. This reveals the practicality of the original Newtonian limit, Professor Edwards implied. Hopefully, he concluded, computers will vindicate both Aristotle and Kronecker. Parts of the lecture ~ere vague and could have used elaboration. What is the Dedekind cut? On what grounds was Kronecker criticized? Does Kronecker's view of infinity differ from Aristotle's in anyway? This is not a major criticism, however, since students can ask for such elaboration during the question period. Overall, then, the lecture was both enlightening, especially about the history of infinity after Newton, and enjoyable. Top Ten Reasons why I .. am not writing a list this week by Sarah Wilson Staff Writer I am not writing a list this week for the reasons that follow. 1.Angst This is a classic reason for everything that never really goes out of style. It's just like a little black dress. 2. Weltschmerz What's the point anywaywhen there are starving children in the world? 3. Schadenfreude I've been trying for years to incorporate this seamlessly in to a conversation and have proved unsuccessful thus far. Now I've done it. Actually, this is pretty seamful. Oh well. 4. I've developed this disturbing habit of staring off into space for hours at a time. I'll be doing work when suddenly I become distracted by the wall. I then proceed to stare at it for twenty minutes. Needless to say, this disturbing new habit makes it hard to get things done. Oh wait, what was I doing before that spot on the ceiling struck my fancy? Oh, right. Listing my reasons for not writing a list. 5.Monads I'm not sure why, but I sense somehow they have something to do with my inability to write a list of the week. I always knew they were trouble. 6. Malaise I need to practice my French. 7. Ennui Youboreme. Iboreme. Lifeboresme. Oh my; I'm just so bored. 8. Postmodernism This is a pretentious classic and can be used as an adjective, noun and verb. It's one of those things to say when there's just nothing else to say. Next time there's a long awkward pause in Seminar, just say "postmodern" and see what happens. 9. Inertia I don't want to leave my state of rest. 10. Junior Year Yeah. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Voting For Bush, Part II by Nick Colten Staff Writer Before I address another ill-founded reason that people had for voting for George W Bush, I would like to clarify a couple points from my previous article. The first concerns I great difficulty in accepting the outcome of this election. As I said previously- though not in these exact words- I do believe that Bush's election was legal this time around. The problem I had with the election was that the majority of voters voted for a candidate that fails to possess the qualities or support the policies the voters stated were their reasons for selecting him. In essence they were voting for a figment of their imaginations. The second point I wish to clarify concerns Bush and Christianity. I was not trying to ar- gue that Bush should be a Christian or that Christians should have voted for Kerry instead. My point was simply that there are many Bush supporters that speak well of his characterespecially his religious character- and that such praise is unwarranted. Aside from his likely monotheism, Bush has nothing in common with a follower of the teachings of Jesus. Anyway, on to ill-founded reason for voting Bush/ Cheney #2: "The War on Terror" Many people believe that Bush is both competent and serious when it comes to fighting terrorism. Such is not the case. Prior to Sept. 11th, the Bush administration ignored the serious and growing threat of terrorism, despite being warned about it by members of both his administration and the previous one. Though the terrorist attack on Sept. 11 rh may not have been entirely preventable, it was also Saturday@ IOPM in the Greal Ball :tn whldi 1lm hoctal titieb ·n· uba wtlJ w nd!Jlll8d all fir yiuur pllawn! Mn. dlilltillg1 6 not unavoidable. If they had taken terrorism as seriously as the Clinton administration had by 2000, the Bush administration might not have been able to thwart the hijackers, but the odds would certainly have been better. Since Sept. 11 '\ little has substantively changed in the seriousness that the administration has regarding terrorism. Osama bin Laden was allowed to escape from Tora Bora because of the administration's ineptitude. U.S. intelligence and Special Forces officers were diverted from fighting al-Queda to preparing the Iraq war. Pentagon plans to capture or kill alZarqawi (the terrorist in Iraq infamous for beheading his foreign captives) and destroy his camp in Kurdish Iraq were ignored, because alZarqawi's continued presence was offered as a link between Iraq and terrorism---even though he operated in the part of Iraq outside Hussein's control. Since the war began, Iraq truly has become a haven for terrorists because of the administration's inability to secure Iraq's borders or secure the many military depots containing arms and explosives. Furthermore, the administration does not take the issue of nuclear or radiological terrorism seriously. Instead of addressing the threat of nuclear terrorism that arises from Pakistan, North Korea, Iran or the old Soviet stockpile, the administration focused on Iraq. First, it badly overestimated or exaggerated the threat of Iraq's nuclear program; and then it failed to secure what limited radioactive material there was in the country. Members of the administration further undermined U.S. nuclear nonproliferation efforts by exposing Valerie Plame, an undercover CIA operative specializing in that field. Ms. Plame was outted to punish her husband for having publicly revealed that part of Bush's case for Iraq's nuclear threat- Iraq's attempt to get uranium from Niger- was known to be false. There are many other examples of the Bush administration's exaggerations and incompetence regarding "The War on Terror" that I could describe, such as the unlawful detention of "enemy combatants" Yasser Essam Hamdi (released without charge after three years in solitary confinement) and Jose Padilla (the alleged would-be "dirty bomber"), but I'll spare you all for the time being. Next Week: Bush the conservative and republican. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . �SCI Minutes Spleen V: A Lesson in Ennui Thursday, November 11, 2004 Present: Nora Kelleher, SCI chair, 1faiam Keim, SCI Secretary, Luke Jayalapan, jr. representative, Chris Utter, jr. representative, Erin Hughy-Commers, sr. representative, Josh Weinstein, sr. representative, Jillian Sico, sr. Discussed final preparations for the Student/ Tutor Potluck Assigned duties for the potluck Presentation by the Sub-Committees Community Sub-Committee Wants to have a lunch time forum with tutors to discuss what the St. John's community should be like, and how it was in years past. After the forum the committee will decided how to proceed Committee also wants to focus on how GI students should be involved in the community Also going to explore to if there should be special SCI events during orientation for freshmen and Santa Fe transfers. Music Sub-Committee Wants to set up another forum, more formal then the last, and wants tutors to be invited. Will put articles about music in the by one who would remain cheerful : · . · : : : · · · : · : · : · : · · : : · : · : Gadffy Preparedness for Class · Forum: "How does personal study : relate to your class participation?" Lunch time forum with students : only, and possibly one with tutors later A curious notice: a second floor classroom of McDowell thrice weekly becomes a tomb. Silence prevails, and the conversation, when it comes, is like a funeral dirge without drum or music. It is a work of atonality, whose mute moments become golden in contrast to the quiet whining, the hidden sighing, that attends every lifted voice. Is the master at fault? Does he wave his baton too slowly? Does he wander across other songs even as he directs the choir? Are the voices at fault? When all gazes are directed downward or studying the sun that dapples across the floor, when all dread to voice the French as though they were called upon to demonstrate a perilously difficult proposition - Is this the sign that they were improperly taught, are singers with unhealthy habits? Or is it only that from the stifling classroom all pure fire has been evacuated, and improper breath chokes any melody? And, god forbid, when they turn to the English, how listless and halting are their phrases. Sense and sensibility flee. Sacred Reason, you are called upon, enlisted against your will to explain the muddle and mire of poetry. Your alchemy of speech extracts the Philosopher from the Poet. Thus emotions, the pulse of poetry, are exiled and beat their colored butterfly wings against the windowpanes. (They are heard as drumming rain.) No. The students had spirit, once, long ago, back in September... Let us not blame them. Then whom? Aha! Let us take down the Albatross! Let us not waste time in mocking him, but reduce him to the skeleton that he more and more becomes by his own folly. Or let us stuff him, this fresh corpse, and place him on a high shelf of vivid autobiography. Or let him remain a chest of drawers. And on certain rainy afternoons, in furtive groups of threes, or better, twos, let us open a drawer and unroll a poem. Too long have they lingered with you, 0 Poet! They tire along with you of your dancing serpent women (though they never speak of sex). They too have become enemies of sleep, passing precious hours preparing for a dreary morning class. And what has all this toil won them? What fruit do they reap? They no longer fear death, for all your descriptions' vulgarity now drones upon the ears like a buzzing fly that distracts British schoolboys from their lessons. Yes you, Charles, and the benumbing effect of reading your every blessed verse have swallowed the whole world in a yawn. They expire, these students. Each day the bell marks another step that they make for Hell. What mortal man, what god, what angel, what devil will dare to set them free? (Any concerns about improper usage of this boy's beautiful work should be taken up with Samantha Buker at your earliest convenience. Exile her, if you wish.) SundqyJ Dec. 5th at the National Cathedral in Washington) D.C: the Cathedral Choral Sociery .peiforms Handel's Messiah. Tickets Available: 8 Ticket Cost: $18.00 Tickets on sale MondqyJ Nov. 22 efter seminar in the Coffeeshop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �Election continued from front page in each state, sample size depending on the closeness of the race in the state. The function of these exit polls, as Liz Doyle from Edison/ Mitofsky explained to me over the phone, is not predictive: asking voters who they voted for is only a prelude to asking on what basis they voted, and comparing that data with who they are (age, sex, race, etc). The data obtained is then used for scientific study or published by the media. This is not to say, however, that exit polls can't be used in a predictive way: in fact, they are used in many countries (most recently in Argentina and Georgia) specifically to check for fraud, and have been used in Germany, where all ballots are hand counted in a week-long process, as unofficial results. If the exit polls couldn't be counted upon to be pretty accurate, they would be no good at providing sociological data On November 2"d, exit polls, conducted at various hours of the day, were displayed on media websites like cnn.com. You can still view the 4:20 exit polls for 16 states at http:// slate.msn.com/ id/ 2109053. The exit polls had Kerry leading in the most important swing states by at least a few percentage points: 0 H, FL, P,\, \VI, IA, NM, NH, etc. In the final results his lead had narrowed somewhat, but still held. You can't find these results onlinc anymore, because they were changed. Once the actual vote count started coming in, major news organizations like CNN, seeing that the vote tally did not match up with the exit polls, began "updating" the polls such that they were in conformity with the vote count. One person observed the change and saved the scrcenshots, which you can link to at http:// www.buzzflash.com. According to the final exit polls, K erry h ad 51 % o f men and 53% of women; CNN changed it to 47% and 50%. By 2:00 AM all the exit polls had been changed. However, Jonathan Simon of www.verifiedvoting.org managed to download the 8:00 PM results, the latest uncontaminated ones available, and use them as the basis for a study which can be read at www.scoop.co.nz. Simon found that even though 12 "critical" states were polled in greater numbers than 37 other uncontested states, and ought thus to have been more accurate, the final vote count showed an average shift towards Bush of 2.5%, while the uncontested states had an average ofl.5%. Based on Simon's data, Stephen Freeman, a Ph.D at the University of Pennsylvania, in a paper entitled "The Unexplained Exit Poll Dis- 8 crcpancy", did the following analysis (available online): since Kerry received 52% of the OH vote by the exit polls, the 95% confidence interval tells us that he should have receive somewhere between 49 .8% and 54.4%. However, he received only 48.5%. Kerry's vote is also outside the confidence interval in Florida and Pennsylvania, to take the two other most important states. Freeman claims that the likelihood of all these anomalies occurring together is about 250 million to one. Freeman concludes that '~\s much as we can say in social science that something is impossible, it is impossible that the discrepancies between predicted and actual vote counts in the three critical battleground states of the 2004 election could have been due to chance or random error." None of these statistics prove anything. But they lead us to legitimatelywonder: why are there consistent discrepancies between polls and vote counts, especially in swing states? No one has yet really provided a satisfactory explanation for the error, least of all Edison/ :tvfitofsky, and with their late-night revisions the mass media seem to be denying that any error existed. Pollsters could have over- or under-sampled certain groups ofvoters, like women, white men, or 18-to29 year olds. I think this is unlikely because a pollster who has questioned, for example, 55% women, knows not to question any more women before questioning some men. One conservative columnist, Dick Morris, has suggested that the exit polls were intentionally skewed towards Kerry in order to discourage Republicans from going out to vote. This is a possibility, but I think that seeing your candidate only a few percentage points behind at 4:00 PM would encourage you to try and make a difference, rather than keep you home. The possibility which I would like to explore is that the exit polls were right, and that the vote was hacked. The next section of this article will discuss just how this could have happened, and will involve some description of the above mentioned DREs and optical scan machines. As a preliminary, to suggest why one might follow this route of investigation, I will report some more unexplained statistics. Following the election, there have been many scattered reports of DRE malfunctions. In Ohio, one machine gave George W. Bush 3,893 extra votes; there were only 638 votes cast in the precinct. In Broward County, Florida, the software provided by ES&S for counting the absentee ballots read by optical-scan machines started . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . counting backward once the total reached 32,000. In total, over 30,000 complaints about voting problems like the above have been listed at www.voteprotcct.org. But the most striking data yet uncovered has to do with the critical state of Florida. Doing away with punch-card ballots, Florida voted entirely in 2004 on optical scan machines and DREs, almost all of which were made by two of the above-mentioned three companies: Diebold and ES&S. Sequoia made the DREs for four counties and the optical-scan madlli-ies for one. Shortly after the election, Kathy Dopp of www.ustogether.org analyzed the results ofDRE counties (16) and optical-scan counties (54) side-by-side. She found that in DRE counties, voters vote approximately as they were registered In :Miami-Dade county, for example, which is 34% Republican and 42.8% Democratic, the Republicans received 326,362 votes and the Democrats 383,032. In sum, the Republicans received about 1.84 million votes to the Democrats' 1.98, where the expected result, on the basis ofregistration, was 1.43 to 1.56 (actual votes higher than expected because of independents voting democratic or republican). But in optical-scan counties, it was totally different. In Holmes count)~ for example, 72.% Democratic and 21 % Republican, the latter received 6,410 votes to the farmer's 1,810. This pattern repeats for almost all the 64 optical-scan counties, a pattern not at all seen in the DRE counties. The Republicans received 1.95 million votes here to the Democrats' 1.45, in contrast to the expected 1.33 and 1.43. Why did this happen? Some have argued on the basis of the ''Dixiecrat" phenomenon, which holds that southern Democrats tend to vote Republican in national elections. However, one would expect to sec such a phenomenon occurring across the board, rather than only in certain counties not geographically related to one another. Rather, it looks as if voting equipment used has had an effect on how the votes were cast Our next concern is to see in what way it might be possible to manipulate the machines. On June 30, 2004 researchers from the Johns Hopkins Information Security Institute published a study entitled ''Analysis of an Electronic Voting System." (http: // avirubin.com / vote.pdf). The study outlined a number of security flaws found in DREs, the most glaring of which is the lack of cryptography in the "smartcards", which the voter receives at the polling station and inserts into the machine in order to vote. The Hopkins researchers say that anyone could manufacture their own cards and use them to cast multiple votes. But this would be a kind of unwieldy way to commit large-scale fraud. The real dangers are found in the software used �to count the votes (the code for which, in Diebold's case, was left on an unprotected web site, accessible to the public, for several months). "Even without access to the protected files, we've determined this system is fundamentally flawed" said Dr. Avi Rubin, director of the study. 'There will be no easy fix for this." For a given county, all the data from each optical scan machine or DRE is dialed in via a modem to one central computer, a windows PC. Diebold in particularprovidesasoftwareprogramcalledGEMS to read and record the data. Thanks to Diebold leaving4D,OOO ofits files ("diagrams ofremote communications setups, passwords, encryption keys, source code, user manuals, testing protocols, and simulators, as well as files loaded with votes and voting machine software'', according to Bev Harris of BlackBox Voting, who discovered the files) available on a remote website, we know that GEMS comes with multiple vote ledgers. The person running the password-protected GEMS originally sees the results from ledger #1, but., using Microsoft Access, anyone can access the other ledgers. Ifnew vote totals are entered in ledger #2, these become the GEMS results, though, in Access, ledger #1 stays the same. Thus the potential for someone other than the election supervisor to manipulate the totals and give one candidate's votes to another. You can read Bev Harris' article on this subject, "Inside a US Election Vote Counting Program," at www.scoop.co.nz. It is still difficult, however, to see nationwide fraud occurring in this way. One would need hundreds of people in on the conspiracy, all of whom would be placing themselves in a position to get caught. But what if the hacking could be done remotely? Jim March of http: // www.equalccw.com/voteprar.html has, based on Diebold emails and those 40,000 files, claimed that Diebold employees could dial into the central computer for a county and use a script to manipulate Diebold-designed GEMS, moving votes from one candidate to another - a process that could run entirely on autopilot, and would not need more than seven or eight people for the whole country. This would greatly eliminate the need for many people to be directly involved in the fraud. Maybe in F1orida, due to the scrutiny placed on DREs, they would do this only for counties with optical scan machines. Nevertheless, such fraud would still be hard to pull off without some kind of internal knowledge and authorization. In September of 2003, Walden O'Dell, CEO of Diebold, wrote an invitation to a fund-raiser for the GOP to be held in Crawford, Texas. He stated in the letter that he was "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes for the president next year." O'Dell is one of Bush's Pioneers. He later apologized for the statements; you can read about this apology on the Diebold website, www.dieboldcom. The state of Georgia, since 2002, has relied entirely on DREs made by Diebold; in 2002, Saxby Chambliss defeated Max Cleland for the Georgia Senate seat, though Cleland, a decorated Vietnam veteran, had been expected to win. None of the machines produced any paper record; they were the last word on the results. ES&S is partly owned by the Nebraska Republican Senator, Chuck Hagel. ES&S's machines have been used in Nebraska for at least eight years; they counted 80% of the votes for Bagel's Senate runs in 1996 and 2002 In both those races Hagel won by landslides; in 2002 he received 83% ofthe vote, winning demographics that had never before voted Republican. Again, since there was no paper record, there could be no recount and thus the accuracy of the machines could not be verified. As in the case of the Florida optical-scan machines and the exit polls, we are only talking about the improbable, not the impossible. These Republican Senators could have simply appealed to their constituents more than their competitors, and Bagel's affiliation with ES&S does not prove fraud, though it does suggest a conflict of interest. In the same way, exit polls could have been systematically wrong, due to some kind of procedural error, and Florida democrats could have voted systematically republican; Dopp's data has exceptions and has been criticized by CalTech and MIT, as well as the New York Times (you can find their criticisms online). But there has been election fraud for as long as there have been elections. Human nature is certainly capable ofit, and the incredulity raised at the thought of it occurring on such large scale is a factor in its favor. In any case, a hand recount of optically scan ballots in states like Florida and New Hampshire would settle the case. Unfortunately, in the case of the DREs a hand recount is impossible. But this has not stopped Bev Harris and Black Box Voting from ordering the most massive Freedom of Information Act request in history, for the sake of auditing the election in areas where the results are questionable. Currently Nevada, New Mexico, Florida, Arizona, and Georgia are under investigation by Black Box Voting. But this one organization is not alone. On Nov: 5, three congressmen (Conyers, Nadler, and Wexler) sent a letter to the Government Accountability Office, listing some of the many reports ofvoting irregularities, and request- ing that the GAO investigate the 2004 election. You can read the letter atwww.house.gov/ conyers. On Nov: 8, they sent a follow-up letter listing more problems; the letter was signed by an additional three representatives. While the Keny campaign has been relatively silent about these problems, Ralph Nader has requested a hand recount of optically scanned ballots in New Hampshire (see www.votenader.org), and the Green and Lbertarian parties has requested a recount in Ohio (www.gp.org). Both requests have been approved; the candidates are now simply trying to raise the respective $80,000 and $110,000 needed for the recounts. It should be noted that a candidate's concession has no legal meaning; the election is not decided until the electors meet on December 13th.They haven't even finished counting the provisional ballots in Ohio yet. There is still plenty of time for investigation into these matters to occur. Ifyou are concerned about the integrity of this year's election, here is what you can do: call your representative and both your senators, and ask them to support the investigation requested by Rep. Conyers. Also tell them that you would like to see legislation banning voting machines that do not produce a paper trail To a representative, one phone call represents about 50 constituents, so your phone call really is significant. You can find out who your representatives are and how to get in touch with them at www.votesmart.org. The major news media has been mostly silent on this issue. They cannot be counted on to raise questions about fraud of this kind, unless it is to quickly debunk them; this is why most of my data has been culled from the internet. But leaving aside the issue of fraud, I hope I have shown to some extentwhyvotingwithoutverificationreallycan render voting meaningless, especially considering the low security of these machines. Even if fraud is not involved, computers can break down, and a hard copy backup should be available (Diebold also makes A TM m achines, which h ave no problem printing out receipts). This is an issue everyone, regardless of party affiliation, should be concerned about. Even if fraud did not occur this year, there's a possibility it could occur in the future, as long as no paper record exits. And that is a good enough reason to take some time over thanksgiving break to give your representative a call. Democracy will not just take care of itself; you have to act to preserve it. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �Reasons continued from front page cause, typically, a higher percentage of the money that remains in the rich person's pockets due to the tax cut gets invested than does the money saved by the poor or middle class individual. This invested capital drives technological innovation, which makes life better for everyone. It also creates jobs. These jobs mean more consumer spending. To be fair, putting the money directly into the hands of the poor and middle class would also increase consumer spending. However, it would be doled out in $500 or $1000 increments, whereas, when given to the rich, it would be doled out in increments large enough to have a more tangible impact. One such impact is the creation of new jobs due to the investment of the tax cut money. A new job means, over the course of several years, a car, a house, a 4011(, as well as all of the other spending that goes along with daily living. All of these things help to create other jobs. It is my opinion that investment drives a capitalist economy, and tax cuts designed to increase investment are likely to be of far greater benefit than tax cuts designed to put petty sums of money into the pockets of the masses. 2) I believe that Social Security is a bad deal, and it needs to be reformed. The President would like to reform Social Security to create private accounts where a portion of one's Social Security taxes would be deposited, and remain the property of the individual. This would provide a very strong shot in the arm to our economy, as it would mean the influx of billions of dollars annually into the capital markets. Moreover, I don't believe that I'll ever get back what I put into social security. I drive too fast and smoke too many cigarettes. And politicians spend too much money. It's a really bad idea to give it to them to hold onto until I'm 68. Let me invest it myself, and leave it to my family if the cigarettes catch up with me sooner than expected. 3) I believe that medical tort reform is badly needed. The cost of health care is too high, and it is due, in part, to overzealous lawyers and oversympathetic juries. The President's plan to cap jury awards at a reasonable amount will result in the rapid reduction of malpractice insurance premiums, which will set a number of market forces into play, resulting in more readily available and affordable healthcare for everyone. I don't believe it will solve all of the healthcare problems our country faces, but it is a needed step. John Kerry's opposition to this issue, and his choice of John Edwards as a running mate, troubles me. 4) I believe in free trade. I believe that it results in a better quality of life for everyone involved. The President is much more of a "free trader" than John Kerry. 5) I think that the administration's strategy for fighting terrorism has been very effective. Two thirds of Al Quaeda's leadership has been captured or killed, and we have yet to experience another major attack on US soil. There are certainly problems, and I have my areas of disagreementwith the President, but the evidence I see suggests that an effective war is being fought. This is very important to me. 6) I do not believe that the United States should ever ask permission to go to war. If we judge that it is in our interests, we should go to war. I take exception to Senator Kerry's complaints about our lack of global support; he treats it as a moral issue, when in my view it ought to be only a financial and logistical issue. There are other reasons I prefer President Bush to Senator Kerry. There are also a number of issues where I disagree fervently with the President's positions. However- and perhaps I'm just being ignorant- I think that on all these t{ERE'.I issues, there is room for good faith disagreement. I am fairly certain that Mr. Colten would disagree with me on most of my points. I am also fairly certain that he is neither self-deceptive nor ignorant. I seem to have a tough time judging people's intelligence and honesty by the opinions they hold. Perhaps I should re-read Atlas Shrugged. Kick off the holidqy season l?J winning two free tickets to the Cathedral Choral Sociery's peifomance of Handel's Messiah. Enteryour name and phone number into the drawing box in the Asst. Deans office l?J Mondqy, Nov. 29th. Winner will be notified l?J phone (if possible) and campus maiL One entry per student. /4 ~fo~ 1i> I'\~. \..JOA:ES'T~S Pl «.eA6ovr" ~VNl.S ro'\ •• • A ~f()f"Se.1?> "'rt\e tt.E6Po"1S Mb e ... I 10 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . T\d'(' 1...m 1'11111 ,.. <.All:TOioJI • ' • 1 �. 11 THE GADFLY . : . . . �THE GADFLY DATE DUE / / Jtes "Failing to prepare, is preparing to fail." Johnny Wooden, legendary UCL\ basketball coach After a month of preparation, the St. John's Rowing Club participated in the Occoquan Regatta two weekends ago with a roster of over 40 athletes, in 13 different boats. Highlights include: Laura Gerken, graduate institute alum, took first place in the women's lightweight singles; recent grad and erstwhile Druid and Sweir, coxed by Miss Volkuchak. For her courageous double rowing performance at her first head race, JVfiss Quintanna is named Athlete of the Week for the women. grinch, J\fike Whelpley Malone, masquerading as a member of the Potomac Rowing Club, took second in the men's champ single; Henry Magram, in his debut performance, took second in the men's rec single, bested only by his teammate, Andrew 'Fats' MacKinlay; and Mr. MacKinlay also steered his quad, comprised of teammates Mssrs. Houck, Jacobs, & Gates to a third place finish. And for his great day of shell racing, Fats MacKinlay is named Athlete of the Week for the men. More on the crew team: the women's novice eight did remarkably well in their debut outing. Talking about the redoubtable J\fisses Robbins, H. Thompson, Enright, Niederhoffer, Bowles, Quintanna, Gersie, & Youngkin, coxed by Mrs. Mary Van Beuren. And then Miss Quintanna stepped up and subbed for the ailing Miss Navarre in the women's novice four with Misses Breen, Gillis, You Make the Call Our last puzzler was won, yet again, by Miss Cate: a ball that gets lodged between two players is reason to stop play, and re-start with a drop ball. And now for this week's puzzler (more on drop balls): The referee drops the ball and it goes out of bounds before a player from either side touches it. First one to me with the right call goes to the bookstore on me. You may leave your response at x2558. ~B ~dn9 'Starts sf ~1.4.t6S": w~ll equ'ip;ied, mr;liidmg NC. ~et AWfM/CO s:~-n. ~:'r ~. door . xl\5.; mirrllfS.. mr~e ~ ft[i\ 6 antj;.Jhtk btak!lS<an!i wflitle ~aj;l!Jty wnt;M; &f!d · shi:iiti! .rif .: l \-.h~ o0.-.....J;' opl:ions.'Vehide i:ru as, "sltui,\iiJ ts .$.14.IMJ1- '"l.tSRP indUdll~ dittivefy, . pro~rvj. anlfhamtirtg fee.. Exdudes taJi!s, $1J!, Ut-tn&e. andoJib;;t>!ll ~ip~ Mualtk'-lttr~ may ~ry. TRO USA, In~ lTeyt!ta R!ldn9 O~JitrWlitJ, an ~Jl&rma~. pjtforrna~ pilll'ts. oompall'f, ma~s a l.ilie of .parts ttiraugii Slll11e StK>n ..Jt~i..s. Tht$Jt <t;l!•rmatk.H iia11s ~"ti"°' Ilen~ Scion par1Sj and cannoUte.tililize:I flw'Si;ion • ~~oLy r«etati~tftIDp.tfisafti . ..._n!l.nl~'1J· ~O. nGt.Sdon~ Notett.li~ cH-tain,att.e.rma.rki!l ·eqlllp!ll~~~J~e:~li!galinallstatesan~ !Jl'{fJrnpact ~oor 'l'!hide;'.s. ml!llCe •:t sale.ty, ti 200&. Sd&n tJl;;I th*.$ · :arB tralf@m1r1<.s a• l-O}'c!lta ~.foto.r CGrp{ira~i>0n ii!!nd l{l)\Dta is. .a" . ~lst$tJJdJt.1s~~tk i;4,J''l'.IJl.!ta .,fot~"t9rp<JratK>.n~ For more infonna.tion, atl.W-~7G-Stb)W !BU-7Il'.i')4MI ~ 'lis1t~uli,.A}.m.; · ""'' ' .. 12 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 11 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2004-11-16 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 11 of The Gadfly. Published November 16, 2004. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.11 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/87f7862fffc41f5853a873e72adba5d2.pdf 5a36008a259f6ba18d003b2495d526cb PDF Text Text T H E 1 1 1 1 1!J!n1m~1~ AD F Ly ST. JOHN'S COLLEG E LIBRARY Annapolis, Maryland December 1, 2004 The St. John} College Student Weekjy Volume XXVI, Issue 12 Responses, General and Specific On Civility at St. John's by Nick Colten the administration to correct the mistakes they had made. If the President admitted he was wrong about something- even if it was an honest mistake- then those who believed him would also have to admit that they too were mistaken; by maintaining an appearance of infallibility, Bush offered his supporters the chance to share in the sense that they were always right- so long as they too refuse to admit he makes mistakes. Maybe it is too much to ask for the President to encourage people to be thoughtful, but at the very least he shouldn't promote thoughtlessness. I do not think it is too much to ask people to take seriously the things that they claim matter to them, such as Chris tian morals. It was perhaps presumptuous of me to call Bush voters bad Chris tians, so let me rephrase it: how is supporting those who promote torture- by condoning its practice and protecting its proponents- consistent with the teach ings of Jes us? In specific I'm thinking of his injunctions to love your enemies, to turn the other cheek, and to treat others the way you'd like to be treated. Christian Bush-supporters make me think of Jesus' example of the man serving two masters. I'd be very interested to read or hear an account of why this is not the case. Mr. Varner was right when he wrote that I would disagree with most of his points . Furthermore, most of our disagreements are over matters of fact or over the questionable premises that his arguments are founded on . On a few points he and I probably have good faith dis - Dear Gadf(y, I write to wonder about one claim made by Mr. Verdi in his recent article on civility ("Civility and St. John's", November 9, 2004). He says, "civility at work is equivalent to good citizenship." Is it? I question this claim with some hesitation. For I agree that civility is indeed important to our living together at the College. \Vhat's more, I would be inclined to answer Mr. Verdi's opening question in the negative. I doubt it goes all that well with civility at St.John's. But I doubt this largely because I suspect that what civility I do see among us is a civility borrowed for the occasion. In Seminar we show our Sunday best, and manage something passably decorous in the Laboratory and Tutorials. But otherwise, I fear, we are content to live the life of the mind in a kind of domestic squalor. Thinking in the buff. Learning au nature!. Authenticity- I believe I've heard this sometimes called. I worry, then, that we feel the demand for civility not in our wanting to learn, but only in our having to do so in p artnership, an d indeed in this peculiar conversational partnership we at St. John's have somehow grafted onto the study of the liberal arts. Or so, at any rate, it can start to look to someone eager to learn, yet tired of talk. How easy might it therefore be to grow rude in one's learning here? Easy, that is, if the substance of civility lies merely in how we must first face others, rather than ever reaching how we must finally face ourselves. Or if the sum of civility amounts to eleven or twelve ~ules of citizenship, rather than ever resulting 1n some encompassing grace of character. And what then remains, for a learner so dissuaded, of civility's significance? Responses continued on page 6 Civility continued on page 3 Staff Writer Before addressing any specific points in his article, I would like to thank Kyle Varner for the polite criticisms and kind personal comments he made. I hope this response will uphold the level of civility he has set. First off, I do believe it is possible to have good faith disagreements with oth ers in matters of politics, but that these disagreements must be over either first principles or over matters where there is a lot of uncertainty. I also believe there are empirical truths, facts which reasonable people having different political views should be able to agree on. I further believe people ought to be rigorous in their thinking. As a result of these three beliefs, I allowed for a few categories of Bush voters whom I thought had valid reasons for voting for him. I still maintain, however, that the vast majority of Bush voters did so out of ignoranceand in many cases self-deception. I say that in many cases the ignorance was due to self-deception because many of the reasons people gave for voting for Bush were easily refuted by any interested voter who took the time to read the newspaper or make use of this year's many reputable fact-checking operations (such as factcheck .org, the site that Mr. Cheney tried to refer to during his debate). Among the many terrible things Bush did during his first term was to almost never admit making a mistake. Aside from the basic dishonesty of this position- because he and the members of his administration are fallible humans- it also made it more difficult for the public to critically assess his performance, or for �H .,_G _i\ D F I~ Y Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Production Manager Shoshana Goldsteii-i Table l Stop Taking Yourself so Serfously. .. ,......... .4 Object Found Attached to Woman's Hip.. ,5 Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Chris Aamot Aaron Brager Nick Colten Isaac Epstein Matt Gates Erikk Geannikis Daniel Harrell Tobin Herringshaw Leo Pickens Sean Valles Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, facult-y, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadfly staff. The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessar1 to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's perrnit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being pubiished than those ionger than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. CORRECTION: of Contents An attentive reader pointed out to me that my claim, "Osama bin Laden was allowed to escape from Tora Bora due to the administration's ineptitude," (from last week's "Voting For Bush II") is not so certain. US intelligence believes it was likely that al Queda leaders were hiding in Tora Bora, though whether Bin Laden was there is a matter of dispute. Bush, Cheney and Gen. Tommy Franks have publicly claimed he did not escape. Subordinates of Gen. Franks interviewed by the Washington Post, and "\fghans and Arabs in eastern Afghanistan interviewed by the Christian Science Monitor, however, claim that Bin Laden was there and escaped because of the decision to secure the area using Afghani warlords rather than US troops. -Mr. Colten Re: Bush Kerry Discussion To the editor, I appreciate t..1-ie recent conversation about Bush and Kerry. Discussion of the candidates, whether it is ignorant and self-deceiving or not, can only help our country's citizens make a choice. Unfortunately, though, we no longer have a choice betw·een Candidate Kerry and Candidate Bush. The election was on 2 November, two weeks before I wrote this letter. I realize that the Gacff/y of 2008 will be run by a different management team that the current one, but I would hope that it will have tli.is discussion before the 2008 election and not after. Now is not the time to discuss what we should have done. Now is not the time to Wein about the 2004 election (and depending on your perspective, the current Bush administration). Or we could do what both ex-Candidate Kerry and ex-Candidate Bush suggested, and rally behind ti.lie Commander-In-Chief and support everything that he does, says, and thinks. God Bless /unerical Isaac Epstein 2 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Tuesday Nite "Fites " Wk XL ' I i Title "Fite" in caps, ""'Mnners I m bold, scores in parenthesis. i ADDICTION vs. GUILT (26-24) Jack Frost vs. Johnny Appleseed (29-21) Promises vs. Secrets (33-17) Betrqyal vs. Prison (31-19) I I �Civility continued from front page If civility at work is indeed equivalent to good citizenship, I therefore ask, is it not obvious why it might not be going well with civility at St. John's? We need read no farther in our books than Plato's Republic to find, in the paradox of philosopherdogs that lick at the familiar and bark at the foreign, the seeming incommensurability between the duties of a citizen and the longings of a learner. And if there is some common measure of the two still to be found, it is presumably found later than soonerperhaps in an account as long and complex as the Republic itself. In deference to the magnitude of that work, then, let me conclude with an hypothesis to compete with Mr. Verdi's on behalf of the same end: a conversation about civility at St. John's. I provisionally assert that civility at work is not equivalent to good citizen ship. Moreover, if it shall ever go well with civility at the College, I think a different and more fundamental equivalence must somehow be claimed: civility at work is in fact equivalent to good learning. And when one goes well, the other goes well. But this of course would further mean that if one doubts, as I do, that it goes all that well with civility at St. John's, one should also doubt it goes all that well with learning at St. John's. And I confess I do. But it would be important, then, that I be able to make a case, if not for their outright equivalence, then at least for a more intrinsic link between civility as such and learning as such than the one Mr. Verdi has made. But what kind of case could this be? In what sense, for example, might the very substance of learning itself be somehow expressed- even embodied- in something as small as the formal mode of address we are obliged to use at the Seminar table? There is evidently some article on civility of my own left to write . Library Call-In Call-In is scheduled for the week of December 6-13, 2004. All items that you have checked out must be returned during this week. In order to avoid long lines, we encourage you to return items before December 13th. Any item not returned by 7:30 P.M. on December 13th will be assessed a $10 late fee. A week-long Call-In allows each student the flexibility of a "personal" Call-In sometime during the week. You may return your books at anytime during the week, but the December 13th due date is final. Renewals: Returning Students: Returning students will be permitted to checkout/renew three books during Call-In week, provided that the following conditions are met: 1) you have returned all library materials you have borrowed, and 2) you have paid any overdue or lost charges. Students remaining for the spring semester can check out as many books as they want after Call-In day. Graduating and Non-returning Students: Graduating students and students not returning to the College can checkout/ renew three books during Call-In week, provided that the following conditions are met: 1) you have returned all library materials you have borrowed, and 2) you have paid any overdue or lost charges. However, these items must be returned by Friday December 17th by9:00A.M. Please note that the library charges overdue fines for late returns ($10 for overdue items due at Call-In), and even larger penalties for items that are lost. Do not hesitate to ask if you have returned all borrowed items, or if you have any outstanding fines. Returns must be made directly to the circulation desk. Do not attempt to return your books through campus mail. Do not get someone else to return your books for you- the responsibility will be yours if your friend doesn't follow through! If you have any questions, please drop by the Library and speak to me. Do not be deceived: you will be charged if your library items are late! Sincerely, Lauren Kopajtic Circulation Manager A friend!J reminder from the Director of Student Services: If something is broken or not satisfactory in your room) call the switchboard to initiate a work order. This includes automatic door closures and broken furniture. If you let us know about ilj we can do something about ilj which saves you work) time) and possib!J even a fine. Call the DOSS at 2512 ifyou have questions! Sincerely, Daniel Harrell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Stop Taking Yourself So F-ing Seriously: Rock Bottom, Part 1 (Of 1) by Sean Valles Staff Writer What in f*ck's name was Nick Colten thinking? Despite how callous I may seem, it is not easy for me to feel so disappointed in a person whom I generally like and respect. But, come on, it's unchristian to vote for Bush? Let's set aside, for the moment, the arrogant stupidity of that single statement and ask ourselves what good result a person could hope to gain from publishing something like his ongoing series of vapid anti-Bush tirades. Hey, it's not like I don't appreciate the value of a good tirade, but dammit, have some decent content. I saw (somewhat) the value of a single anti-Bush article, in the interest of sparking real dialog. But this deeply hateful, ignorant, inanity is beyond valueless. It is counter-productive. Nick Cohen's as yet two-part series on Bush is a disgrace to the concept of public political debate. His series is falling deeper and deeper into a George Lucas-esque spiral of vanity and misperceived reactions-the continuation of an idea that had value in the realm of pointless and egotistical public masturbation. Even the premise of Cohen's series is absurd: an account of why the majority of America shouldn~have voted for George Bush. Let's do this grammatically; here we have a past contrary-to-fact statement. Such a hypothetical is not entirely logically absurd to consider, but is nonetheless impotent to achieve a valid goal. It's over. Bush is president, again. Why the hell do you write a series of articles that has no purpose aside from attempting to make Bush voters uncomfortable? Sort of like if Michael Moore decided to release Fahrenheit 911 on November 3'd. This series is just mean-spirited. All of this recalls, for me, Mr. Verdi's article on civility. First let me explain that I am well aware of my reputation for being obscene and scathing in my articles about certain public statements. But I have refused and continue to refuse to turn public debate of ideas into per- Sc1Dn-xltl r, o '"t'lr! sonal attacks that are unrelated to the ideas under discussion. I believe that civility is essential and keeping my articles about ideas and not about people is the primary way I try to keep the line of incivility uncrossed. Mr. Cohen's argument that those who disagree with his beliefs (and voted for Bush) are somehow necessarily morally inferior, is an argument that shows a kind of blurred sight that mistakes the heterogeneous collective of those who made a common decision, for some sort of homogenous immoral conspiracy against America. Hyperbole is cool with me, but saying that only elitists, terrorists, et al., can legitimately vote for Bush is a statement that worries me so deeply that I honestly can't even bring myself to joke around in this article. How goes it with civility at St. John's College? I deeply want to say, "well'', but I can't do so when things like Mr. Cohen's series arise within the polity. Sorry. x8 p<icing starts at f:U,165• well equipped. 1nclild1ng ~.. ~.AM/J!MfCD $)'$tff:n- ~t door\xks, ;IUifTlll"S, dlTCiC!le Uhaus1l fip, aotl-16':k lltaloff anth-ehiclti $\llbillty eonlto4. itnd c:hOO:e Of. 3: wln!-el. «Nl!r µptillnS... 'lfe11icle pri'"..e il5' sho1m fa, :$10.,l)tO.: •MSR:P· ilH;ludes deti-nt}'. pnite.ssing,, and hantlin,g fff. Eledudes tues, till.I!, ·~'S, ll~nse, and opt!On!Jl~fpllwtlt Ad:ualdealol!!r~ may mry, 'lRD USA. Inc . . ITa.ynta Radrkg OewioprnentJ. •n 11net1t1arl<et 1Mrtumi11.~ parts i::.oinpal\'f, marke.fs a I.ism of pa11s lttrnugtr some xian ®Lws. r11ese-:aU.etm~tt41t J.lll& au n.;C Gen:11ne Scion parts. and cann!!'ll.l•MllilizedfurScio~ ~nty f\'_plaunwrit m!J pl't& ii'"*." MWf.anm:l 1'°"'. JRD• nQ.{'Sdon. Nute lhat .ci!f:tai11t aft;f,1J11a~ eg~l!l\l l'ril)' l'l!Q1 tie.~l&Ji't~ alt t>tat~ •nil .· may impact yoiur-w:hi:te's.~e_-0esile1y. a:ci.t; Sd on and th~ SdOl\ lligo..are ltiidl!mati<:;; ot Toy.ote Mot. r C•HP':'rati.0111 and T-ll)'(llil Is a o 0 lt!gis:tered ·~~d\,~ T<!Jy'l.1ta Mob:ir t9rporatlon. Fur mo~ inb'mellion.~1866,.~SQON IBU-1012.~61-"""'Sft$t;!Ofl~ . 4 . T HE G ADFLY . .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . .. .. . .. . . I 'J I �Object Found Attached to Woman's Hip Presumed Human by Matt Gates and Tobin Herringshaw In an announcement which has sent shock waves through the St. John's community, junior Brianne Bell declared yesterday that an object attached to her hip is attempting to assert its own individuality. Bell, who says the growth in question developed in late March of this year, claimed that the bulbous mass, which she initially believed to be a symptom of summer tanning-related melanoma, caught her by surprise with its attempts to impersonate Jim Carry. "I thought it was some weird growth, but I was too polite to mention it," said sophomore Hannah Stone, Bell's roommate. "Then I remembered it had asked most of my friends out during freshman year. "This is by far the strangest case I've seen in my years of service at St. John's," said an unidentified woman who claimed to work for the Harrison Health Center. "I've read through my three medical brochures, one on safe sex, one on testicular cancer, and one on the dangers of smoking, but nowhere did anything like this come up. "Senior Simeon Morby, who once had aspirations of medical school, expressing a Menoesque sensation of fish-induced paralysis, inquired simply" Ti e.rtz?" Deceased program author Erwin Strauss maintained that the entity could not be said to be human, due to its excessive fawning over the host organism, Miss Bell. "'What, then, is humanity?" pondered tutor Eva Brann. "As the entity clearly, lacks autonomy, with or without my equation, it can in way be said to be properly alive," asserted deceased program author Hans Driesch. "Ifit' s not alive, can I eat it?" wondered senior Amy Taylor, who was once an avowed vegan, but has recently been seen earing rainbow sherbet, an abominable vice which friends fear may soon lead to a taste for flesh, chairs d'enfants, that is. "Dude!" exclaimed senior James Harrison in disbelief "'What the hell are you talking about?" bellowed another senior."Of course it partakes in reason. It's in my "Posterior Anafytics" study group. If ships can grow on trees, as Aristotle says in Parts of Animals, then why not dudes on chicks? In a telegraphed statement from Santa Fe, senior Mark Ingham expressed concern that deformity might be violating the Hellenic guest-host relationship in its relations with Miss Bell.The bulge, which, according to the registrar's office is slated to graduate in May, claims it has many interests which distinguish it as a "individual," including rowing, yoga, screenwriring, and jazz piano. "I'm starting to wonder who's really the growth and who's the host organism," admitted Bell. "I often find myself mimicking its catch phrases and facial expressions. But in the end, I'll probably just marry it, so I guess it's a mute point anyway." :The Delegate ·council :Minutes Wed. 11/17 Present were President Amy Taylor; Sec: retary Erikk Geannikis; Aaron Brager, Pat · Sullivan, Brian Jones, Billy Ladd: Cawthorne, Nicole Young, Jon Coppadge, ·Deborah Mangum, Lord Thomas : Burbridge, John Peterson, Ervin Romero, ·Jordan Gannon, Lee Branner, Max : Kronberg. Polity Attorney Natalie Rinn · arrived late. Treasurer Kevin Grizzard; : Delegates Megh Lockard and Laura Cate · were absent. 11 :54 - Call to order. 11 :55 - Arthur Allen, Lia Boyle, and · Anna Breon introduce KWP's Emergency : Budget Request for $85. 12:00 -A makeshift Treasurer's Report : is concocted: $97.44 12:05 - KWP Budget request made an .EVI. 12:06 - Jonas Becker introduces the re: vised Vegan/Vegetarian Club Charter. 12:15 - The Vegan/Vegetarian Club : Charter revision is made an EVI. 12:16-Report from the Committee on : Constitutional Review (COCR). 12:39 - COCR proposes the general : amendment of the Constitution for the · Student Polity, and proposes a Commit: tee on Constitutional Amendment · (COCA). Formation of COCA made an : EVI. 12:41- Voting. KWP's Budget Request : passes. The Vegan/Vegetarian Charter Re. vision passes. COCA is formed. Members: : Natalie Rinn, Erikk Geannikis, Brian ·Jones, Billy Ladd-Cawthorne, Max : Kronberg, John Peterson, Lord Thomas ·Burbridge, Nicole Young, Jon Coppadge, : Aaron Brager, Carter Moore, Dan Rera. 12:43 - Adjourned. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Responses continued from front page agreements; when possible, I'll try to note them. 1. The Bush Tax Cuts The tax cuts might be fair, although Mr. Varner would have to explain what he meant by that; they also might be "good for everyone," and he'd have to say a bit more before I knew what he meant by this too- though I'm inclined to think they are bad for everyone (except for the very wealthy) because of the huge budget deficit and the debt to which the cuts are contributing. It is certainly untrue that the rich had to get the largest tax cut- either by percentage or in absolute dollars. The rich didn't need to get a cut at all, or they could have gotten one that was very smallthough perhaps such a policy would have been unfair or imprudent. Tax cuts favoring upper-income earners also do not necessarily provide the most economic stimulus. It is debatable in the long term, and false in the short term. Give the 100 million poorest tax-payers a rebate of $500, and that money will quickly be spent; the same is not the case were the richest million are given a rebate of $50,000. Furthermore, though investment can lead to job creation, it certainly need not. The purpose of capital is to produce profit, not jobs. If it is more profitable not to create jobs- or at least not create jobs in the U.S., that's where the investment dollars will flow. 2. Social Security Social Security can be seen as a "bad deal" (depending on what you think it is supposed to do) and it will probably need some reform, though I think that this need is often exaggerated. The fun damental concept of Social Security is often misunderstood-including in Mr. Varner's article- and the misunderstanding leads to much of the difficulty concerning reform. The system was not meant to be a retirement account for workers, it was meant to keep from poverty people who could no longer work, on account of age or other infirmities. Young and healthy people pay to support those who are currently in need, and when they too get older or are disabled, younger or healthier 6 members of society will assist them. Social Security is meant to provide security, not wealth; it is a form of insurance, not a money-maker. Social Security works by sharing risk, like any other insurance organization, and keeping administrative costs low. The Bush partial privatization plan would do neither. It puts the risk onto the individual and greatly multiplies the costs, since each participating citizen would be dealing with both Social Security administrators and in vestment managers. Bush's plan would also reduce the amount of money being paid into the system, since the young and healthy would be diverting money from current recipients, into the stock market. Despite being asked about this problem repeatedly, Bush has yet to explain how his plan will account for this eventual problem. 3. Medical Tort Reform Medical tort reform might be needed, but I'd be hard pressed to say that it is badly needed-compared to other problems with our healthcare system. The medical costs are high for many reasons . Overly zealous lawyers and overly sympathetic juries are not an especially significant part of these high costs, as John Kerry mentioned many times during the campaign. The Congressional Budget Office found that malpr actice costs amounted to less than 2% of the country's yearly medical expenses. Physician salaries, and the profits of insurance and pharmaceutical companies make up a far larger part of healthcare costs. The notion that we are facing a flood of frivolous lawsuits is a m yth that the insurance companies have been pushing for decades. If you are interested in this topic, there was an excellent article called "False Alarm," by Stephanie Mencimer in the October issue of The Washington Monthly. 4. Free Trade Free trade is a great idea, but one that no serious actor in the marketplace is interested in actually promoting. It is impossible to keep the market and government completely separate. The question, then, is how the government gets involved: does it take the side of labor or of capital? Capital has inherent advantages over labor, you r ead about them in Adam Smith. In order to preserve a competitive balance it makes more sense for government to take the side of labor- it's also more democratic. 5. War on Terror Aside from my arguments in the last issue on why the administration has been inept and derelict in its duties to defend the lives and the laws of the people of the United States, I'd like to address two of Mr. Varner's arguments: "Two thirds of al Queda's leadership has been captured or killed," Bush stated this figure many times during the campaign, but what does it mean? For the sake of argument, I'll assume that Bush said it in good faith; even then, it requires explanation. How many leaders have been killed or captured? How was the total number of al Queda officers determined? Is it the total number of leaders from the last decade? Since 2001? Does it take into consideration new leaders that must certainly have replaced some of the killed or captured leaders? As for our having not "experience[d) another major attack on U.S. soil" since Sept. 11, this too requires explanation. To what extent is the Bush administration responsible for this? One could just as easily say that during Bush's first term more Americans died of terrorism, than in all previous Presidential terms combinedand that's not even counting the suicide bombings in Iraq. Without more context, however, these figures are meaningless. 6 . Asking Permission to Go to War The U.S. has ratified the UN Charter. The UN Charter does not permit military action except in self-defense or b y approval of the UN Security Council. It may be imprudent for U.S. Presidents to act within these confines, but it is the law of the land (according to the US Constitution) . Of course being a permanent member of the Security Council means that the U.S. can just veto any sanctions proposed against it, and U.S. Presidents have never had much of a problem conducting wars in violation of domestic or international law. Bush's statements about Kerry's "global test" were an intentional distortion, and not really worth addressing. Next Week: Bush as conservative or Republican (or even republican) . T HE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �1 Meet the ~feat: The Gadf!J~ Exclusive In-depth Look at Meat Market Saturday, November 20 marked the year's first Reality fundraiser. It went better than anyone expected. We'd budgeted to raise between $400 and $800, but we earned a whopping $4,430, including table sales and sales of our newt-shirt. By the way, we still have a few of the shirts left, and they can be pun:hased from Skinner Pinson on Fridays at lunch. Here's The Dirt, with some names misspelled, and some names grossly misspelled, sometimes intentionally. Steve Zweibel (Fire Starter) sold to Fabio Lomelino (Brazilian Guy) for 44 dollars. This was our lowest-selling auction, but it did publicize our new shirts. Arthur Allen sold to l\1agdahn Wolfe for 110 dollars. He had originally sold to Eric Lasiloo, but :Mr.Lasiloo bribed axmcee Erikk Geannikis thirty dollars for reseller's rights. Siobhan & Natalie sold to Ryan Crane for 230 dollars. Jess Perry sold to Rook Singer for 68 dollars. This was the highest-selling opening auction inMeat Market history. Jones & Coy sold to Caitlin O'Brian for 230 dollars. Her boyfriend, Carter Moore, is desperately seeking a foursome. Annie Heming sold to Charlie Kitchen for 160 dollars. Alden Mackey and Charles Opalak sold to Eric Lasiloo for 170 dollars. Hot stuff! Michelle Brown sold to A Dude That Paid Immediately In Cash, So We Didn't Write His Name Down for 180 dollars. The Russell Kids sold to Febbie Cara Wilburn for 150 dollars. Who says Febbies aren't good for anything at all? The Illustrious Beth sold to Karl Petrick for 300 dollars. Mr. Petrick was the only man to stand up for his rights and bid &om the balcony. 170 dollars. Icky. Randall Darling sold to Caitlin O'Brian for 52 dollars. Her boyfriend, Carter Moore, has suggested a threesome. Vee & Toph sold to Sally Conkright and Alyssa Grodotzke for 210 dollars. Video game results will be printed later. l'vfary Davenport & Pat sold to Tommy Dyer for Carter and Max sold to JP Macintyre for 360 dollars. Carter's girlfriend, Caitlin O'Brian, thinks this whole thing is getting pretty weird. The Fuzz sold to Jesse Warden for 310 dollars. The Fuzz is pissed Rook Singer sold to EricLasiloo for 100 dollars. Rook was wearing his boyfriend's midshipman uniform. Skinner sold to BrianJones for 56 dollars. SLJl>ER SECRET MY TERY VIE SAT 12/4 @ SPM SHARI'· FSK AUDITORIUM .. FREE IMPRESS FRIENDS: WIN PRIZES BY LOSING DIGNITY AFTER THE MOVIE? REAUTY. THE TUESDAY NITE ·Frres·. JEWS' CLUES ALM SOCIETY THE APPLIED STATISTICS CLUB, MlONIGHT OODGEBALL. AND THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE OF CAMPBELL LOT PRESENT AN INFORMAL GATHERIN' WITH EATIN'. DRINKJN', AND MAYBE A LITTLE DANClN' IN FSK LOBBY. IT WILL BE FREE. Former Senior Resident Andrew Baisch sold to Former Reality Archon Justin Berrier for 180 dollars. Arie Doak & David Prichard sold to Rehana Manejwala, Serena Washington, Ellen C, and Sarah Doty for 180 dollars. We hear Mr. Doak and Mr. Prichard will be giving foot rubs to the ladies while they watch ''Sexin the City;' a showwhich presents caricatures ofurban women. Liza &Ada sold to Josh Davidson for 260 dollars. Allison Hennigan pulled in the highest amount, when she sold to Eric Glysteen for 400 dollars. Table sellingwas a phenomenal success, and we will be selling them again at upcoming Reality events. Keep your eyes peeled AllbuyersmustpayAllisonHennigan(viaCampus Mail or in person) and receive a receipt before service/date can take place. Sellers: please don't provide service/date until you see a receipt (not just the contract) with Allison's signature. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 by Leo Pickens Athletic Director "If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"' Rudyard Kipling, "If'' Kudos to the the Guardians , who spoiled Tsunami's attempt to claim both fall sports crowns this past Saturday b y winning 19-15 in a closely contested football game . One of the unsung heroes of the Guardians ' championship season is Mr. Wilford, who brings a lot o f intensity, hustle, and smarts to the game--not to mention his own ball. For his great Make monry f?y lifting heal()' things! Stevedores will be needed to help the Febbies move in. Interested parties should contact the Director of Student Services before December 16! 8 season of play, Mr. Wilford is named Athlete of the Week for the men . The women's basketball season is off to a great start with our first double header this past Friday afternoon. In the opener, the D.C.'s squeaked by the Amazons on Miss Rinn's last minute shot; and then the Nymphs ran away from the Furies in the nightcap. The Nymphs have a lot of skill and speed to burn, what with the likes of Misses Cone, Perry, Wright, and Elkins . This last mentioned also brings a whole lot of skill and experience along with her, and for her great performance in her debut outing, Miss Elkins is named Athlete of the Week for the women . You Make the Call: Thrower in A l breaks the plane o f the boundary line b y extending the ball over the playing court during an alternating possession procedure. Bl creates a held ball. What is the right call? First one to me with the right call goes to the bookstore on me. You may leave your response on my voicemail, x2558 . St. Johns students or tutors interested in participating in an informa~ week/y writing group (fiction) non-fiction) poetry) anything) in order to promote moral suppo~ critique) andpalliate the writers loneliness, please contact S faery Goguen or Annie Shellito in campus mail. Annapolis Businesses Advertise wii hundreds of St. ) Please St. John's DATE DUE ~h rumni l I /lnnapou~ lvlJJ 21404 orcal/410-263-2371ext.2212 (the Gadfly Office) . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 12 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2004-12-01 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 12 of The Gadfly. Published December 1, 2004. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.12 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/1d8cd0b47de60ee54923a9f4caa7d00c.pdf 96edfcac35f1b39f8ea964d8db1ef7aa PDF Text Text 1111 . 1 1 1 1 1 1·E~·~m11[~11 1 ~ f1r r1 im1 1 1 1 1~ G AD F LY TH ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY 7 Annapolis, Maryland December 7, 2004 The St. John} College Student Week.& Volume XXVI, Issue 13 What Do The Today Show and Cosmo Girl Have in Common? Answer: St. John's College. by Willis McCumber Staff Writer St. John's College was recently featured as one of the fifty top Cosmo Girl colleges in the United States. This may at first seem to be some sort of hideous trick played on the brain, but it's true: take a field trip to the third Randall common room some day and consult the much-used leaves of the adolescent magazine and verify it for yourself. After Cosmo, is there anywhere to go but down? There's NBC's Today Show, which recently filmed footage at St. John's for an as-yet-unaired show. Are we beginning to see some sort of pattern? Has St. John's suddenly emerged from relative obscurity and found itself in good standing with the many, of all hideous fates? Actually, the Todcry Show did not come to St. John's just because we're St. John's and everyone wants to know about us. There was a more rational reason. But Cosmo Girl? What could this possibly mean? The Today Show came to St. John's to talk to Roger Martin, the president of Randolph-Macon College in Ashland Virginia, who is investigating the "freshman experience" by attending seminar (sitting at the table, but not speaking) and otherwise participating in the life of the College by doing crew, among other things. As lvfr. Flaumenhaft said to the Wahington Post, "[Mr. Martin] wanted to see the freshmen up close, and kind of be in the milieu and see what effect reading and studying those things has on the way they talk with each other and the way they think about life, and he figured this was a good place to do it, because the students don't make a sharp line between their studies and what they're doing outside of class." (''For College President, a Freshman Refresher course" available online at washingtonpost.com). The Post article was published in many newspapers, including some in Europe, according to Rosemary Hardy at the Communications Office. Recently there was also a short interview on NPR involving :rvfr. Martin. Apparently, the Todcry Show was interested in this twist of college presidentturned-freshman, and so last Wednesday they filmed a fake seminar on Thucydides along with a waltz party. Just how well this seminar represented St. John's College was a matter of some debate among the participants. One noted that the students seemed to be wearing much nicer clothes than usual - even "lining themselves up in tastefully coordinated pastel tones on one side of the table." She said "[the studentsl personalities morphed," citing one in particular who became much more animated than usual. Another participant strenuously disagreed with this assessment, saying the seminar was about as representative as could be expected under the circumstances, considering the distractions of bright lights, microphones, and cameras. Yet another commented that the seminar was "drier" than usual, and another that he imagined he would know more useful things about St. John's after seeing a video of this seminar than before. So what are we to make of this sort of attention? In what seems to me to be a conscious effort to avoid possible misrepresentations, the College has a policy of not participating in the US News and World Report college rankings. This seems an excellent policy. St. John's could never be valuably or accurately represented by a few statistics. Putting St. John's in a ranked list with other schools is equally ridiculous. Still, such popularity inevitably holds a kind of fascination. Early in the semester, there was a rumor the acceptance rate for this year's freshman class was between fifteen and twenty percent (a figure that contrasts drastically with the seventy-five or eighty percent I Today Show continued on page 7 �THE ....~GADFLY Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter I Table of Cont~nts . Stop Taking Your Vote So F-mg Senously.. "Oh Johnnie Chair''...................................... . Drunken Sailor.............................................. . Pensees.......................................................... . AD Notes....................................................... . Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Chris Aamot Caleb Nolen Aaron Brager Lucy Oppenheim Matthew Daly Erin Owens Brian Jones John Peterson Tammie Kahnhauser Sandra Quintana 1-firiam Keim Natalie Rinn Nora Kelleher Jonathan Tuck Max Kronberg Sara Wagner Willis McCumber Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadfly staff. The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadffy is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. Racial S Jurs Dear Community: A note containing racial slurs was discovered by a member of our community tacked to one of the bulletin boards in Gilliam Hall. From the content of the note, it seems that it was not intended to be derogatory, but it remains offensive no matter how it was intended. You are therefore reminded to exercise your judgment when posting items on bulletin boards, and to take care to maintain and promote the sense of civility and mutual respect we strive for in our community. Sincerely, Judy Seeger Oxfam S ucces.iful Dear Gadfly, I want to thank everyone who participated in the Oxfam Fast for a World Harvest this past month. This is the fourteenth consecutive year the fast has been held at the Annapolis campus. This year we have exceeded many of our previous years' records: 156 students and 15 faculty and staff members participated, skipping 402 meals and donating $680 in cash, in addition to the meal plan money. This is a very large proportion of the total student population on the meal plan, compared to the many other colleges and universities at which Oxfam fasts are held. Exact figures are not yet available, but the total sum raised for Oxfam America will be in excess of $1000. Special thanks should go to Carole Clark, Steve Linhard, and the staff at the Treasurer's Office; to Roosevelt Langley, Nancy Mitchell, Gail Day and the staff at Parkhurst; to Chris Colby, who donated the printing cost for the forms; and to Alex Canzoneri, Simon Gershman, Charles Hamm, Seth LeJacq, and Sara Wagner, who volunteered their time. Winter Collegium Winter Collegium will take place on Tuesday of dead week, December 14, at 7 PM in the Great Hall. Everyone is encouraged to attend! Mark the date on your calendar to come hear your classmates and tutors participate in choirs, small ensembles and solos. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Collegium, it is a polity recital held each winter and spring. Students and faculty perform musical pieces individually and in groups including the St. John's Chorus and the Madrigal Choir. If you would like to perform in this year's Winter Collegium, please submit your name, instrument, title, composer, and approximate length to Natalie Rinn via campus mail by Wednesday, December 8. Sincerely, Natalie Rinn Dining Hall Abuse Dear College Community, From the Johnnie-urban-myth file comes a situation I wish to clarify with all those who attend meetings in the Private Dining Room. The myth is that students attending meetings in the Dining Hall can eat for free. Alas, you cannot. It would indeed be a very good thing if you could, but someone has to pay for every meal- the dean pays for the tutor lunch program, and Parkhurst has to pay for those who sneak in the back (it is worth noting that that particular cost gets passed along to students as higher board fees). Please, if you are attending a meeting in the Private Dining Room, either pay for your meal or honorably abstain from taking food. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Chris Aamot Director of Student Services Sincerely, Jonathan Tuck 2 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SCI Minutes Thursday, December 3, 2004 Present: Nora Kelleher, SCI Chair, Miriam Keim, SCI Secretary, Luke Jayalapan, junior representative, Chris Utter, junior representative, Erin Hughy-Commers, senior representative,Jilian Sico, senior, Justin Lanier, senior Planned SCI lunchtime forum Candor in the Classroom Next Thursday, December 9, 11:45, Private Dinning Room Discussed Mr. Harrell's article to the Gac!f!y �Candidate for DC President Dear Polity, My name is Brian Jones and I am running for Delegate Collllcil president. Government, once it has done the big job of protecting us from invasion and chaos, c3:11 and ought to do the little things that make big differences in people's lives. For our student government, this means distributing mo~ey fairly, keeping an eye on our student affairs, and representing our student body to the administration and the world. I want to be Delegate ColUlcil president because I can get these things done, and done well. I can manage the collllcil diplomatically, fairly, and firmly. I can set a standard people would want to follow, by watching out for my fellow students and helping them when they need help. I can talk with the administration honestly and articulately about anything we might need from them, always trusting that they want what is best for us too. With your help, I can do these little things that would make life better for all of us. Thank you, and remember to vote (once) next Monday. Sincerely, Brian Jones, '06 Candor by Nora Kelleher Conversation makes up a large part of our education at St. John's, and as the recent Gadffy articles on civility point out, much comes into consideration as we try to make a classroom conversation result in some morsel of knowledge, an introduction to a new understanding, or the formulation of the next question. Whatever the aim of class may be, we come much closer to that go~l by making an effort to participate in creating a discussion that is most helpful to making good conversation. Civility seems to me to be an important part of creating a productive discussion; without respect for each participant's contributions, we cannot go very far. What other components are involved in making the conversation in class a good one? One of the Candor continued on page 8 We at Jews' Clues apologize that the following letter is being printed so late after Meat Market. We also would like to stress that this letter is clearly not the work of our beloved Assistant Dean, Judith Seeger. Rather, it is the wor~ of some young rapscallion, namely Mitch Hoffman. Such forgeries will not be tolerated in the future. Unless they're this good. Dear Jews' Clues: I was wandering around on a Saturday night, looking for trouble, when I stumbled across a large group of people making a great amount of noise and commotion in our noble gathering hall. Curiosity taking over, I walked in only to find the most debauched "party" I have ever seen. Young ladies, labeled as "meat" (we fought a war for women's rights for this!?), pranced about, while everyone ogled them (perhaps 'leered' is a better word) and then - get this - bid actual money for the possible pleasure of some unspecified but implied sexual contact!! This supports my feelings that kids today are just immoral perverts looking for cheap thrills and even cheaper morals. Why, in my day, our festive gatherings involved orgies and copious drug use, but it was all done in good taste, by Jove! Anyway, I would have allowed all this if it were not for the profoundly disturbing sight of Mr. Aaron Brager AKA J ~w­ ish Anonymous Man and Mr. Enkk Geannakis AKA Chilla practicing homosexual eroticism in public, demeaning our God and our President the Honorable and Wise George W. Bush AKA Great and Incorruptible Overlord with their disgusting perversions. Because of this act, I have decided to force Reality to have all parties in the bathroom of Campbell Basement, you know, the one by the stairs that always smells of baby vomit. I hope this does not inconvenience anyone, but you know, it is your own fault. Sinners. With love for us and our great and powerful country, America™, Justice Undermined by Disastrous Youth Seems Extremely Evil, God will Enact Retribution DearJ.U.D.Y.S.E.E.G.E.R.: Mitch, what exactly were you going for when you wrote this? Did you really think that we wouldn't check with Ms. Seeger to see if she wrote this? Did you think that she would play along? Or did you just want to be mentioned in Jews' Clues again, Mr. Hoffman? Mayhap you thought your clever ruse would catch us unawares, enabling you to laugh at us amongst your compatriots. By Jove, you puking dread-bolted strumpet, you h~ve failed! We are concerned that your mind is a swirling mix of indeterminate colors and shapes, colliding in slightly interesting but ultimately meaningless compositions that you then spew forth, much like your artwork outside the Mellon Cafe. You shall not garner our respect through such mockery of our intelligence. A pox on you, Jews Clues' continued on back page . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Stop Taking Your Vote So F-ing Seriously by Caleb Nolen and Matthew Daly After reading the articles in recent issues of the Gadf!y concerning the 2004 (s)election, we decided it was necessary to respond with our reasons for not participating. With this letter we'd like to add another viewpoint to this argument, since nearly every article thus far has proven itself to be partisan tripe purporting one candidate to be superior to another. We disagree with this and the voting process as a whole, and we would like to use this article to explain this position without resorting to rhetoric or superfluous language and clever turns of phrase. When one has not voted or does not intend to, s/he is often met with silly responses such as, "Well then, you can't complain for the next four years," or "It's because of apathetic people like you that the country is in this sorry state." These responses are full of fallacious reasoning (read: bullsh*t). By not voting we choose not to participate in this process, and therefore have every right to condemn it. If you vote for one candidate and he wins, then you have no right to complain because you consented to his rule. Should he lose, you have no right to complain because by casting that ballot you validated the system under which the one with the most votes gets the car keys. We reject both of these limitations and choose instead to focus our energy on things that will address the fundamental problems of this, our inherited American empire. Neither Kerry nor Bush would ever create a positive, lasting social change. They argue over issues like gay marriage and abortion as if they weren't the distractions they are. Bush has already tried to change the constitution and failed, thus exhibiting the limitations of the President's power. Similarly, no President will be able to outlaw abortion. Even the candidates' positions on the war in Iraq are damn near identical. Real issues are things like mining for an insignificant amount of fossil fuel by slicing off mountain tops; there being a lack of sustenance for everyone as we throw tons of good food away; and of course the still omnipresent forces of racism, heterosexism and classism. You'll never hear a President even use these three words. We advocate instead a direct way of creating change. If you're concerned about people starving, then why not cook food for them? If you're pissed that our dependence on oil forces us to fight wars over it, then why not ride a bike? If you're concerned about the aforementioned forms of domination, then why not cross over those boundaries, have true dialogues with people less privileged than you are, and learn how we both oppress and are oppressed? You might be surprised to find how many prejudices you yourself may harbor without realizing it. If you aren't concerned about any of these things then something is wrong with you. Our hope is for people to recognize that they can remove themselves from this inherently alienating social system and reclaim the ability to create real change instead of wasting time researching candidates and choosing the "lesser of two evils." By the way, l\fr. Varner, free trade is in no way, shape, or form beneficial to all those involved. But of course, you won't find Bush, Kerry, Nader, or any other (would-be) President doing anything to end this since they all profit. r------------------------------------------------------------------, For Food, Filtns, and Fun: Stop fry and check out our great gifts and stocking stuffers! * bring this in for a 10% discount on a purchase over $15.00* Annebeth:S75 Maryland Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 410 990-9700 www.annebeths.com ------------------------------------------------------------------~ 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �"Oh Johnnie Chair" by Sara Wagner, Sandra Quintana, and Tammie Kahnhauser (to the tune of "O Christmas Tree") Oh Johnnie Chair, Oh Johnnie Chair, How lovely are thy armrests. [Repeat] As Johnnies come and Johnnies go, You stay right here through sun and snow. [Chorus] We sit upon your woven seat And try to stay awake in Greek. [Chorus] Although you're but a humble chair, You stand for Johnnies everywhere. [Chorus] You take each class that Johnnies take And you never get a break. [Chorus] You give rest to weary knees When reading our Thucydides. [Chorus] When reading after sun is gone A stalwart ally, you hold on. [Chorus] When Hegel tries to steal our soul Or when attacked by Humphrys Troll Oh Johnnie Chair, Oh Johnnie Chair, You save our backsides everywhere! New Words to 'What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor?" What shall I write for my language paper? [Repeat twice more] Early in the weekend. Write about poetry and translation [Repeat twice more] Early in the weekend. I don't like to translate poems [Repeat twice more] Early in the weekend. Translate anyway, write your paper [Repeat twice more] Early in the weekend. Laundry, parties, sleep, and movies [Repeat twice more] Early in the weekend. What shall I write for my language paper? [Repeat twice more] Early in the morning. -submitted by Lucy Oppenheim, '82 Reprinted from Gadfly Vol. III, issue 8 Nov. Pensees (Parts I- IV) by John Peterson Staff Writer In the spirit of the recent publication of Eva Brann's Open Secrets/Inward Propsects: &factions on World and Soul, I humbly dedica:e to you, the polity of St. John's College, this meager collection of aphorisms, fragments, epigrams, maxims, and pensees, brought for_fu by the cryptic mind of Johannes des Absurdio. I. 1) Counterfeit the coins of the highest value. 2) The more you hide away, the more you can bring forth. Hide so that you can give. 3) There is wisdom: God is a lie. Justice belongs to the strongest. Our lives are meaningless, yet we must ensure the survival of the species. What? Well then do not ask for wisdom! 4) Work is the end, so we must be in control of our work. If our work belongs to someone else, what are we but slaves? As they say, I say, "get used to it." 5) We were all bom to suffer. In loving, we suffer. In knowing, we suffer. In death, we suffer. 6) Your life is not yours. Did you ever think of that? II. 1) I know you think people are very different, and you're right. Just look at them. 2) When you condemn the vain and the vicious men, remember. you are one of them. 3) The parrot wipes his beak because he is a guilty creature. We so much have the habit of sin that we can never enjoy such a moment of cleanliness. 4) Clap your hands, take him aside, or let him be-never berate him openly. 5) A triangle that is not right is not wrong. Would that we thought the same way about men! 6) You want to be the best person that ever lived, and you could have been. III. 1) Christ is King, but we live in a democracy. 2) Two tragedies: Socrates and Jesus. 3) If our civic virtue as Americans consists in voting, then the country is half-dead. But, take heart, for the virtue is not in the vote. 4) How can you take Pascal seriously and throw away his memorial? Total renunciation of the self and a complete submission to God! 5) If only I swore by the god, I would not have to swear by myself. 6) The happiest man always defeats his enemy. Happy is the man who knows his enemy's name. Unhappy is the man who cannot name his enemy. The unhappiest man has no enemy. IV. 1) The boy with the shiny eyes asks, ''What is worth doing?" Answer the question prudently, for he is a bright boy. 2) The dull-eyed sophist has virtue in him. Ask him what is worth doing, and he will give you a good answer. 3) If you do not want to go to Lecture, do not go to Lecture. If there is something else worth doing, do that. But ha! You have just attended Lecture, and it was a bad one. 4) Have a drink. What are you afraid of? Other men drink, and it is nothing to them. You do not drink, and yet it is a great deal. Perhaps it is not the drinking, but the not drinking, that you are so concerned about. Maybe there is something to that. But how can there be something in a not-thing? So, drink up. 5) Epictetus' Discourses is the greatest work of motivational speaking ever recorded. 6) The small morals: Theophrastus and Epictetus. The big morals: Hobbes and Kant. 9, 1981 . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Today Show continued from front page seemed to remember from my pre-admission research.) Fifteen or twenty would put us very solidly near the top of the list of selective liberal arts colleges. Perhaps this notion appeals to the childish logic of "hard to get into = good = we can think of ourselves as extra-special." The rumor was false (whew! Close one!) as director of admissions Mr. Christensen kindly assured me (this years' admissions rate was about sixty-seven percent, marginally lower than in previous years). With a tired smile, he reiterated that "if you have a desire to be here and your academic record is good enough, you will be admitted." However, St. John's is getting more popular, and finds itself today, according to Mr. Christianson, on the "list" of reputable colleges of someone looking into the small liberal-arts genre. This means that plenty of people with good enough academic records are applying to St. John's even though the college isn't their first choice. Also, there are more applications every year, due partly to increased recruitment (twenty years ago, the Admissions Office visited about sixty high schools every year, in 2004, about three-hundred were visited). So more people are accepted, more are put on waiting lists, more have to enroll in February. It is still early to say just how drastically these changes will affect the College, or whether they will be positive or negative but some sort of change is inevitable. by Leo Pickins Athletic Director "The person who is afraid to risk failure seldom has to face success." --Johnny Wooden, legendary UCLA basketball coach The women's basketball league posted another week of exciting play. The Nymphs and the Furies are emerging as the front runners, with their big women in the middle-Misses Shannon and Steigman respectively-strongly supported at all positions on the court. One of the league's most tenacious forwards is turning out to be the Furies l'vfiss Lockard, who is playing some tough dee and cleaning a whole lot of glass. For her tough play, Miss Lockard is named Athlete of the Week for the women. Speaking of emerging front runners and tenacious play-what about Tsunami and their smothering killer bee full court press? (Kind of reminds me of the 1962 UCLA Bruins, and the first one to me with the names of that team's great guard combo will go to the bookstore on me.) Anyway, one key factor in the Waves' stifling bee team dee, is Mr. Hanover. For his non-stop hustle and just plain old pure athleticism, Mr. Hanover is named Athlete of the Week for the men. Ayn R11d Lecture Tomorrow (rec:emi at 6e Fut Hall Fo!'lll ii l9li) Dealing with the su~ ect of birth control, [Pope Paul VI' s] encyclica [HIDlllZ'lae V'llaej prohibits al forms of contraception (~cept the SO· called "rhythm metbotf') .. .Try to hold an image of horror spread across space and time-across the entire ~obe and through all the cenlllries-the image of parents chained, like beasts of burden, to the physical needs of agrowing brood of children-young parents aging prematur~y while fighting a losing battle against starvation-the skeletal hordes of unwanted children born without achance to livethe unwed mothers slaughtered in the uns<llitary dens of incompetent abortionists-the silent terror hangin~ for e\'ery coup!~ over every moment of love. If one holds this image while hearing that this nightmare is not to be stopped, the first question one will ask is: Why? -Ayn Rand Ayn Rand goes 1111. to anmerthat qncsti1111.. Wednesday, Dmmber 8at 7PM Convtrsation Room . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Jews Clues' continued from page 3 sir! Have at you! We throw down our gauntlet, and challenge you to a duel. As the challenged, it is your right to decide the weapons, and we select the place and time: let us suggest pistols at dawn, for that sounds much better than swords at tea-time. Knives at noon also has a nice ring to it. It's your call, really, but try to keep it honorable. As the challengers, we also have the right to determine the location. Being that we are concerned with the relationship between the administration of the dining hall and the students, we demand the dining hall as the place for our fight to the death. Surely they will appreciate it. Unless you're not on the meal-plan, because then you will have to sneak in the back, and F. D. "R." will kill you before we can. Seriously, Teddy "R." will rip you apart with his giant teeth. The duel will be filmed by the Todcry 5 how, only not the real duel, only a fake one, orchestrated by the Waltz Committee. Wow, boys and girls, this will be the third fake event masquerading as the truth about St. John's to be filmed this year! Aaron Brager's pretty OK with this, because he has no soul, but Max Kronberg is freaking out. Remember, the motto of his high school was, "Whatsoever things are true." Apparently, the motto of his college is "Whatsoever things are true, except in dealings with the evil outside world, in which case the Candor continued from page 3 truth will be offset with lies, determined by placing those lies on a balance with a freeman and a book." After seeing this in print, Max thinks it might be a little harsh, so he is prepared to change it to, "Whatsoever things are true internally, and closeenough externally." By the way, the motto of Aaron's high school was, "Wherever particular people congregate." So, Mr. Hoffman, get back to us about this duel. questions the SCI has pursued this semester is how one's preparedness for class comes into play while holding discussion in class. We noticed that the level of preparedness can vary greatly from student to student in a given class, and realized that either extreme of preparedness can hold one back from being involved in the conversation. Sometimes a "stupid question" that would betray one's ignorance creates a restriction, while on the other hand, the static conclusions sometimes produced by meticulous preparation can hold one back from the exploratory nature of dialogue. It seems to me that when students are most themselves in class the conversation is at its very best: it is alive. A heartfelt presentation of an opinion, or a question, even if simple, that shows a speaker's true concerns, instantly becomes material that the whole class can work with together, perhaps out of empathy. When one participant voices this sort of thought it is found that many in the class share the concern. Why isn't this sort of candor more common in our class discussions? What can be done to foster a dynamic in class that allows for more of this sort of conversation? The SCI will be holding a forum on this topic at 11:45 AM in the Private Dining Room to discuss these questions. All are encouraged to attend. - J.C. ].C's Shalom's Shalom to Mrs. Judy Seeger for allowing us to print the forged letter. Shalom to Brad Kinney for w riting the second in a series of growingly incomprehensible comics. Shalom to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds for assisting Brad Kinney in writing his comic. Shalom to Cameron Healy for watching the dance floor last Saturday night disdainfully. He apparently had better things to do than dance. Namely, watch other people dance. Shalom to Bela Shizkvonvizvniz-ish. Good job DJing. Mike Dobbyn's Quomment Quorner Argh! Why did I invest so much in parachute pants? I thought they were going to be around forever! Ultimatr Wednesd: Saturdai Sophomores must pass the exam 1 A, DATE DUE thi~ PM \1 allowed to enroll in the spring. Take your iv. 8 . THE G AD FLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 13 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2004-12-07 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 13 of The Gadfly. Published December 7, 2004. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.13 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/b63c2f17ead4a7a616cb423bfe79dae9.pdf 0c21d5801fafb605889f6db265b9a032 PDF Text Text THE GADFLY ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY The St. John's College Student Weekfy Volume XXVI, Issue 14 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1~ ~ m1~1~r1 rf1m1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 3 1696 01136 2728 Atheist-I<idsGet-Presents Day is Near by Daniel Schwartz Staff Writer A Man for All Seasons Seasoned With Success by Jenny Lowe When I was offered the opportunity to write a review of A lvian for All Seasons, I jumped at the chance. Not for the journalistic glory, and certainly not as a means of putting off my homework; no, the real reason I wanted to write this review is that it would, of course, mean I'd have to see the show again for important journalistic research. Yes, Robert Bolt's A Man for All Seasons merits two viewings, and is a pleasant way to pass six hours of one's life. The play follows the life and times of Sir Thomas More, as he battles to keep both his faith and his head while Henry \TIII and all his sycophantic following rage against him over the king's controversial divorce. It is an intimate production, both in its small cast and subject matter. Thomas More may say that he has no window into another man's soul, but we are given windows into the souls of many of the characters, and are left to ponder our own souls and selves as a result. Like us, these are complicated people living in complicated times, and it takes great skill to breathe life into these historical figures and make them into people with whom we can identify, albeit with a shudder. This show was impeccably cast: every actor brought to life his or her character. Arthur Allen brought a dignified and thoughtful intensity to the difficult role of Thomas More. Brian ] ones had the role of that "rough young fellow" K.ing Henry VIII well in hand, impressing evA Man For All Seasons continued on page 11 When I walked into the Annapolis Mall recently, I noticed them-eating at every table, waiting in line at every register, crawling out of crevices, and flowing down from above. There were people everywhere, because Christmas time is here. And in 1\merica, the first step in celebrating Christmas is to buy presents for one's friends, one's family, and oneself. Christmas today is a jolly display of materialism and good will. It was not always like this. Indeed, Christmas today resembles the ancient pagan celebrations of the winter solstice more than it resembles the Christmas of the Christians. "4..s early as 217 B.C., for instance, the Romans celebrated Saturnalia with a public banquet which offered food and sometimes chaotic revelry. Businesses and schools closed down, and good cheer overcame all. Slaves, given a reprieve from work, played games in the streets-gambling, contrary to the usual laws, was allowed in public-and, while gambling, these slaves could even wear their masters' clothes. People exchanged giftscandles, dolls, and pastries were among the most common. Many decorated their homes with evergreen boughs to celebrate the fruitful crops to come. Then in the fourth century, Christian leaders declared, despite all of the evidence to the contrary, that Jesus was born on December 25. What was their goal? To usurp the pagan holidays, so that, just Atheist Kids continued an page 9 �Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Aaron Brager Nick Colten Jenny Lowe Erin Owens Leo Pickens J.D. Salyer Clarke Saylor Daniel Schwartz Sean "The Devil" Valles Kyle Varner Sarah Wilson Founded in 1980, the Gadf!J is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Ga4f!y staff. The Ga4f!y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Ga4f!y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 ./4.tten#on:Finandal./4.id Recipients If you applied for financial aid for 2004-05 we have distributed 2005-06 forms in your campus mailbox. If you did not apply for aid for 2004-05 and wish to do so for next year, information about applying for financial aid, deadlines, and links to the FAFSA and Profile are available at the college website at www.stjohnscollege.edu. Contact our office if you have any questions. Enjoy your winter break! Response to Dafy and Nolen Dear Messrs. Daly and Nolen: It should be no surprise that I disagree with your characterization of my articles as "partisan tripe purporting one candidate to be superior to another." I sincerely believe that in the recent presidential election, one of the candidates was substantially better than the others. Furthermore, though I have strong political convictions, I do not believe that means I am a partisan. It is true that in order to promote the public policies that are best, I may end up supporting candidates of only one party (at least on the federal level); this, however, is simply due to the structure of our political system, which I also believe should be reformed. I think that at least some of your objections are based on faulty premises, and that it would be good to examine them. I will try to do so without resorting to "su- perfluous language and clever turns of phrase." Regarding not voting and the silly responses one hears because of it, I have experience with both these things. I did not cast my first vote until six years after I first had the right to do so. I am also familiar with the arguments people make for not voting-I used many of them myself. It is wrong of people to say those who do not vote have no right to complain and its wrong to say those who do vote have no right to complain. Both positions are very simplistic. Apathy is a problem, as is ignorance, but they are not the only reasons that the country is in a sorry state. You two do not seem apathetic, which makes it all the more sad that you abstain from the democratic process. It may be true that "neither Kerry nor Bush would ever create a positive, lasting social change." In the case of Bush, he has created, and will probably continue to create negative social changes-whether they will be long lasting, will be due in part to whether he is able to fill the courts with judges that validate his policies. As I've said before, I believe Bush's first term was possibly the worst in U.S. history. However mediocre President Gore or President Kerry might have been, either would have been vastly better. I could not tell if you think abortion and gay marriage are intrinsically or extrinsically political distractions; I think a case can be made for the latter interpretation, but not the former one. As for Bush failing to change the constitution or outlawing abortion, a president cannot do either by fiat, but that doesn't mean that he cannot have a strong influence on both issues. It is very unlikely in the conceivable future that abortion could be outlawed in the entire U.S.; to do so would require an amendment to the U.S. constitution or laws passed in all the separate states. It is conceivable that Bush could get Supreme Court nominees into office who would overturn Roe v. Wade; in this case, some states would likely outlaw abortions. I was also somewhat surprised you believe the "real issues" you mentioned are completely ignored by politicians. The first issue, mountaintop removal mining, was a practice that has only recently become permissible due to a rule change by George W. Bush's Interior Department; a similar sort of change was made by the EPA re- . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �garding the clean air act and mercury. Had Gore been in office, the changes would likely not have been made. If such issues are truly important to you, you should reconsider your position that it is a waste of time researching candidates and choosing "the lesser of two evils." On these issues and many others, there is enough of a difference between candidates that it is worth taking sides. Regarding the unsatisfactory way food is distributed and wasted; this too is partly a matter of public policy. The government is deeply involved with the production and distribution of food. Some of the wastefulness comes from the overabundance that government subsidies promote and some of the wastefulness is a result of long distance distribution network. Your article was not clear about which hungry people you were concerned about-whether they were in the U.S. or abroad. If it was the former, your suggestion that we cook food for the starving people makes some sense (though almost no one is actually starving in the U.S.). There are organizations, such as Food Not Bombs, that receive don~_tions of old food from restaurants and grocery stores and serve it to homeless people. If your concern is ameliorating hunger abroad, this seems a problem well beyond the direct action you recommend. Even if government action is not the proper method to feed hungry people in a place like Burkina Faso, it is a problem that most people cannot and should not be involved. That is to say, it is a problem that requires some sort of collective action-which is of course the kind of problem government is supposed to deal with. Direct personal involvement in the issues that matter to you is a good thing and perhaps even a necessary thing. The problem is that there are many things that matter and we all have a limited amount of time and money-or use of resources, if you think money is part of the inherently alienating social system. There are also lots of big problems that require cooperative and specialized labor-for instance, trying to reduce nuclear proliferation by securing radioactive materials. Problems of this sort are beyond the means of my friends, neighbors and I. A person can be engaged at many different levels and at many different degrees of involvement. I applaud your desire to be an active part in your community, but caution you not to let perfectionism and cynicism limit your participation to the sort that you championed in your article. Sincerely, Nick Colten Response to Dafy and Nolen Dear Messrs. Nolen and Daly: I am writing in response to Stop Taking Your Vote so F-ing S erious!J, which appeared last week. I found the perspective taken in this article to be refreshing and thought provoking. While I agree with many of the sentiments and ideas voiced in this article, there are several points I hope its authors will clarify in a future edition of the Gadf!J. You say you disagree with "the voting process as a whole." I wouid like to know exactly what you mean by this. Are you saying you disagree with the present situation in which there are only two strong parties that stand any chance of winning an election, and that you would like to see a greater variety of strong parties representing a wider sphere of opinion? Are you saying you disagree with a democratic form of government altogether and would prefer some other type of political system, such as a monarchy or a temporary dictatorship of the proletariat? Are you in favor of anarchy? Or do you advocate something else entirely? I am curious to hear what form of government or lack thereof you are supporting, and your reasons for supporting it. I understand you are suggesting individuals act in order to bring about change on an interpersonal level, but I also assume you recognize a need for some sort of governmental body, or have a good reason for supporting a lack of any government at all. If you do in fact support some form of government different from the one we have now, do you have any practical ideas of how it might be implemented, or do you simply intend to spend the rest of your lives in a country with a voting process you find alienating? I agree one ought to create change directly and I agree with your suggestions concerning this. However, I feel a gov- ernment (certainly not the one we have now, but one under different leadership) could help individuals bring about change on a larger scale. For instance, the United States only began to pull out of the Great Depression when the government took a more hands-on role by creating a vast network of social programs that provided relief in a much more sweeping and productive way than soup lines did. Although Kerry is nowhere near the radical liberal I would like to see helming the ship, he did plan on raising the minimum wage and rolling back tax cuts that benefit only the very wealthy. Kerry aiso advocated a much sounder environmental policy than Bush. I agree that "Neither Bush nor Kerry would ever create a positive, lasting social change," as you say, but I strongly feel that, although the two candidates were far too similar, there was certainly a candidate who would have done more to further the issues you seem to care about. Working for this would be a small but practical step in the "right" direction. I am in favor of a democratically elected government similar in format to the one we have now, but I regret that there are not any other parties who could realistically win an election and the fact that the country seems unable to support any real left. In conclusion, I would just like to stare that I am most definitely not attacking your views, and reiterate that I agree with much of what you said in your article. I simply would like to hear more about the subjects I mentioned above. And by the way, J\fr. Varner, concerning free trade, ]\fr. Nolen and Mr. Daly are absolutely right. Sincerely, Sarah Wilson Subscribe to. the Ga4ffy Second Sef}jesterfor onfy $151 Send requests.to: The Gadfly St.John} College POBox2800 Annapolis, MD 21401 . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY 3 �A Warning Not To Take Mr. Nolen and Mr. Daly's Article (Regarding Not Taking Voting So F-ing Seriousfy) Very Seriously At All by Aaron Brager Staff Writer A brief summary of the article to which I respond is in order. Mr. Nolen and Mr. Daly explain that they disagree with "the voting process as a whole." Disenchanted with the system because "[n]either Kerry nor Bush would ever create a positive, lasting social change" as the candidates argue only over "distractions," Daly and Nolen advocate instead the idea of creating change "directly." They propose, for example biking instead of burning petroleum. The idea of biking instead of driving is good - so good that Mr. Shulman does it all the time. But biking instead of driving and instead of voting? Why not bike and vote? They could even be done simultaneously with the right permits. Misters Daly and Nolen, the two of you have a rare opportunity. You live in a country which, despite your jaded opportunism, is extraordinary. You live in a country in which, whether or not you like the system, you choose the laws. What's even more phenomenal is the fact that if you don't like the system, you can change the system along with the laws. Oil and gas supply 65 percent of America's energy, and everyone knows what the media say is wrong with that. And maybe they're right. Maybe war, global warming, national security problems and a worse economy are right around the corner. Biking may help a little, but as a man who can effectively cause change in the nation that uses the most oil by far, I'd say you have a moral responsibility to vote. After all, the rest of the world will be affected by global warming, but the people there won't have a choice in the matter. You do. r------------------------------------------------------------------~ I For Food, Filtns, and Fun: Stop l?J! and check out our great gifts and stocking stujfers! * bring this in for a 10% discount on a purchase over $15.00* Annebeth} 75 Maryland Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 410 990-9700 www.annebeths.com -----------------------------------------------------------------4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Top Ten Signs You May Indeed be Losing the Plot by Sarah Wilson Staff Writer That Belle and Sebastian song "She's Losing It" has been resonating with you a lot more than usual lately. You're getting the impression that your once vice-like (by which I mean a tremulous pinky grasping at a straw) grip on reality and sanity might be loosening somewhat. Your behavior becomes increasingly erratic. You find yourself acting like a teenage cheerleader loose at an N'Sync concert one minute, espousing communist revolution the next, laughing in the face of eternally silent and infinite spaces that filled Pascal with dread the next, and then topping it all off by crying like a baby because you can't find your favorite sparkly black nail polish. You comfort yourself by deciding that if eternally silent and infinite spaces have faces they are probably very attractive faces like so many of the faces that hide empty abysses tend to be. You feel either inappropriately gleeful or profoundly disturbed or just plain puzzled all the time. You decide if you ever have a child you will name it Rumplestiltskin. This strikes you as a singularly wonderful idea. There are other warning signs of plot loss appearing in your life. You stay up way too late trying to think of clever ways to end introductory paragraphs to lists when you really should be studying your Newton lemma. 1. You find yourself insanely jealous of characters in your preceptorial reading A character in your precept reading is possibly in love with precisely the same character you are in love with. You find yourself consumed by jealousy whenever she appears in a chapter and you feel pangs of anger when she speaks to him. Then you remember that they're both fictional anyway. 2. You keep "losing" things Where are my glasses? Where are those stupid things? I had them just a minute ago. Twenty minutes later your room is in disarray, your nerves are frayed and you still haven't found those bloody things. What's that in your hand? Oh, there they are. You were holding them the whole time. This is the third time this week you've done this. 3. You become absurdly sentimental You're sitting at dinner thinking about how obnoxious that guy at the table is. Then he takes a bite of his sandwich. You watch as he continues eating his meal. You look around and see all these people eating. Suddenly you are struck by the oneness of human kind. You feel strangely akin to that kid who brings up The Lord of the Rings in every class. We all require sustenance. We are one united human race! You begin to weep uncontrollably. 4. You forget things you really ought to know I'm sure from time to time we've all found ourselves slightly hazy about the proper ending for progressive optative singular middle voice ending for Greek verbs or exactly what the equant is. This is not the sort of thing I am referring to. I'm talking about those times when you are asked what your name is and you honestly can't remember. 5. Delayed reaction Hahahaha. O.M.G.! That is like so totally hilarious! That joke you told me last weekend is just too funny for words. Now that I've finally processed it, that is. 6. Middle school slumber party syndrome You find yourself saying things like O.M.G.! and making up code names for the people you have "crushes" on. 7. Fixation You take a fair amount of pride in your record collection. It has brought you much happiness over the years. But for some rea- son you don't want to listen to anything you have. Only "The Little Red Song Book" by Momus will make you happy now! You become fixated by the idea of possessing this album. You can't find it in record shops and for some reason you are resistant to the idea of buying it online. You toy with the idea of buying a Linkin Park CD instead but ultimately decide that the secrecy such a purchase would require is just too much hassle. 8. You come to enjoy overcooked broccoli Ifit doesn't fall apart when your fork touches it, you want nothing to do with it. 9. You decide it might be a good idea to call the houses of people you were only tangentially connected to in high school at 4 in the morning on Thursday to ask if they have any gray poupon, or however you spell it It's 4:00 a.m. on Thursday. You don't feel like going to bed. You think about that really quiet kid who was a grade below you, was in Amnesty International with you, who worked at the movie theaterwith you, who often wore kilts to school and was in that band you saw a time or two. You shared several awkward conversations of the variety that only two extremely shy people can have during your high school years. For some reason you have the phone number of the home he lived in while in high school. You suddenly become nostalgic and decide you miss him terribly. Why don't you give him a call and ask some sort of nerdy question? It would be super funny. Unfortunately, his parents don't share your sense of humor. 10. Bush is apparently president of the country I shall take a page from the commander in chief's book and display a blatant disregard for fact by pretending this is not the case. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE G ADFLY . 5 �Stop Taking Yourself So F-ing Seriously: Count Me Out by Sean "The Devil" Valles Staff Writer Well, I can say that I am a bit flattered that my column has become so ubiquitously identifi able that its title has become the subject of some sort of satire. But I can't say I like the fact that writers such as Messieurs Nolen and Daly seem to feel they somehow share a sort of common sentiment with either me or with the tone of my writings, as evidenced by the borrowing of my lan guage . In fact, I take offense at the very hint of an association with the self-righteous high- school-style political disdain that the writers of Stop Taking Yo ur Vote So F-ing Serious(y have expressed. The content of the article alone bugged the hell out of me, but the borrowed title just begged me for a reply. It's not that I don't understand what the article is claiming; it's just that I think it's indefensibly stupid. I thought I left that kind of political temper- tantrum crap behind when I graduated from my ultra-liberal suburban Massachusetts high school. Don't get me wrong, I hate The Man as much as the next North American indigenous descendant, but not voting is about as meaningless agesture as one can make in response to hating the modern socio-economic condition. It is about as intelligent a response to the problem of American Empire as buying an SUV is a response to Chinese communism. Yeah, that'll show 'em. As if the invisible hand of capitalism starts trembling whenever you decide to move onto a kibbutz . Yes, not voting must be the answer. After all, not exercising one's guaranteed share of the power is the surest way to overthrow the classist, racist, homophobic System. Think it through, guys . The System doesn't like your views, so what do you do to hurt it? You make a con- 6 scious decision to not direct it. Even fing radical Bolsheviks vote. How can not voting, and thereby slowly directing the course of The System and The Empire, possibly be a profitable decision? As if on the first Wednesday of November someday in the near future The System will become so distraught at the low voting rates among radical 18-25 year-olds that it will groan with an epic death rattle and will collapse onto the hatred and prejudices that held it in place. And of course, its corpse will fertilize a field of Flowers of Understanding, and Trees of Tolerance . Wake the f*ck up. To claim that the value of a vote can be made up for by simply treating and understanding people better is to claim there is no significant disconnect between society and politics. The article even notes the alienation of humans from their so- publican democracy for acting like republican democrats is not the f-ing way to do it. You are not too pure of spirit to touch the dirty political process. Not voting makes you just another member of the meaningless ranks of the apathetic, the forgetful, the lazy, and the indecisive. Welcome to The United States Of America: if you can't take the democracy, move to Singapore. Nationalism generally pisses me off, so don't take this as some sort of ''.America, love it or leave it"© thing. Maybe self-righteous non-voters will get some sympathy points for being disaffected and angry from some people (I hear 15 year-old skater chicks love that sh*t), but none from me . There is a process for trying to change a country. It begins with voting, and, failing that, ends with non-violent protest. It's not as if not voting allows you to deny a single bit of your subordina tion to the government (sorry, The Constitution says so) . Ignoring your guaranteed rights and only acknowledging the "rights" that exist in your head is illogical and immature. I mean, why doesn't every b o dy just skip th e formal political process and just jump right to setHelp fight Communism! ting him or herciety (and presumably The System). So self on fire (note above sarcasm)? Now, I don't mean to be uncivil in this why would one think treating the individual would necessarily trickle up in any article, I just can't take any more of that significant way to influence the structure crap that I thought I escaped when I of The System? Why not make small moved out of suburbia and into downgains in both, everyday, for the rest of town Politically Moderate-opolis (to harp your life? To do so would be to cross the on a point a little bit) . It's not that I don't line between disaffected and politically im- like you (I hear Matthew Daly is really cool); potent activist, to politically productive I just don't like what your brains were leaksocial actor. If you want some sort of ing last week. legitimacy, disdaining members of a re- . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �1-900 Sects-Talk on her father's business- a business he struggled his way up from poverty to establish- then we are as inhuman as her To attack the Objectivist Club, what- fictional characters. Better to learn anever the provocation, would be like kick- other lesson: evil in one direction begets ing a kitten-in some ways it would mir- evil in the opposite direction. The Cult ror the Club's own efforts to gain respect of the Individual springs from the Cult and earn kudos with the anti-religious el- of the Collective; it springs from a failure ement by attacking Christianity. Objec- by a society to live up to its obligation to tivists may claim to hate Marxism, but cul- respect the unique gifts and worth of parturally speaking they are two peas-in-a- ticular individuals. Hence the traumatized pod. individualist's knee-jerk hostility towards No attacks, merely particular illustra- any "collectivism"-i.e., communion- is tions of more general truths; consider forgivable. The would-be Ubermensch is, that Objectivism talks a great deal about after all, only human. creativity, consider Rand's novThe egalitarian is blind els, and then consider the axiom to the genius in the indithe degree to which one talks vidual, for egalitarianism is about a virtue in the abstract is but the accumulated selfinversely proportional to how ishness of Mankind; while much one exercises it in reality. the elitist cannot recognize True tale-spinning cannot come that the "common man" is from constructing ideologicallya contradiction in terms. pure worlds, and Rand's dismal Arrogance is the last storytelling is an unsurprising grip that stupidity has problem in someone who strove upon we otherwise wiseto make a virtue of selfa d ula tors of the Indicenteredness. The last thing any vidual adore Galileo, but novelist can afford to do is to forget the discovery for become trapped within the self, Art Deco and the Individual which Galileo was perseblind to the truths, weaknesses, cuted: the observation and complexities that live within other that Galileo was nowhere near the center human souls. Her black-hats, white-hats of the Cosmos. Rebellious Galileo was affliction could be attributed to her ha- not a martyr to rebellion; he was a martyr tred of faith-but then again there are to humility. plenty of writers who do not (conThe Common Man and the sciously) espouse Christian charity, yet Superman differ only in that one who still acknowledge that their friends is headed into the phone booth, have flaws, and that even their enemies the other is coming out. If have worth. Rand's heroes are 2-dimen- mild-mannered Clark Kent were sional ciphers for her views, while her vil- not mild, if he viewed Metrolains are straw-men. politans aloofly, indifferently, as (Nietzsche is the only ultra-individu- herd-beings whose lives and alist I know of who produced anything deaths are trivial, he would be of great beauty; I suspect his superiority no hero- just Kal-EI, just anto Rand lies in the difference of their ap- other strange alien from another proaches: \Vhen Nietzsche tried to sup- planet sitting in a Fortress of plant God, he at least had the good sense Solitude. And without the to go about it irrationally.) rubes, Ma and Pa Kent, he But hold; to get carried away attacking would never have put on his tights to Rand would be wicked, as well. For if we begin with. cannot have compassion for the indignant I'll go out on a limb: an island is an little girl who saw the envious Bolshevik island ... a man is a man. hammer (marked, no doubt "In the Name of The People") come slamming down by]. D. Salyer Staff Writer We all root for heroes, for visionariesinven tors, dreamers, short-order cooks who hope to someday open their own sushi restaurants. In rooting, remember that the visionary's triumph comes through acknowledging the organic whole, by awareness of the very real people and world around him. Should the visionary ignore the inherited wisdom of] ohn Donne and strive to be absolutely self-sufficient, his vision becomes a nightmarish trap for himself, and misery for others. Yes, the "village elders" may be cantankerous, prejudiced old patriarchal geezers; but remember that there is a reason why conventional wisdom becomes conventional: because it is very often right. Bring sushi to the closeminded community that fears sushi, by all means; but by no means bring sushi to a community where everyone is allergic to fish. Cultures that embrace fecundity thrive and grow, while those cultures that eschew fecundity have literally lost the \vill to live. And to point to starving children in the 3'" \Vorld and say, "They would have been better off had they never been born," is not merely demented-like saying, "Let them die, and decrease the surplus population," - but it is to miss the point. The children would not, could not possibly be better off never having been born; they would be better off if, having been born, someone-i.e., we-cared about them. To solve "a hungry child" by abolishing the child is a step towards the abyss. Algebraically speaking, one could make each individual share of a feast more bountiful than last year's by shooting more turkeysor one could shoot a few of the guests. Or if one is squeamish, cut down on the invitations; but if it is all a zero-sum game, then logically I should invite no one to my feast at all . .-\nd as our appetites grow more rapacious, the "reasonable standard of living" grows everhigher. Sect Talk continued on page 1(J . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �So. I've bun 1hinking. We should really have -watch The Thing while Socrates and ; your mom do 'the sex_ ~j··· 'Oh• oofu' ' , mg. . :Find a save pointJ t' s my turn. veryone's R:worite: Monkey - by Erin Owms 8 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...... .. i �Atheist Kids continued from front page maybe, they could try to make them a little more Christian. They succeeded to some extent, but they could never wipe out the pagan influence. Many Christians, as a consequence, were ambivalent about Christmas; and some flatly opposed it. In 1645, for instance, Oliver Cromwell's administration cancelled the Christmas celebrations. Puritans in America went still further. From 1659 to 1681, the celebration of Christmas was banned in Boston and a five shilling fine for merriment imposed- even Christmas decorations were against the law. Reverend Increase Mather summed up the problem this way: "The generality of Christmas keepers observe that festival after such a manner as is highly dishonourable to the name of Christ. How few are there comparatively that spend those holidays (as they are called) after an holy manner. But they are consumed in Compotations, in Interludes, in playing at Cards, in Revellings, in excess of Wine, in mad Mirth ... " Even after the Boston ban came to an end, few Bostonians celebrated the holiday. Christmas was not seriously celebrated in America until the 19'h century. America was the most capitalistic country in the history of the world. There was a growing middle class and droves of entrepreneurs who wanted their spending money. The Original Santa Claus For the first time, Americans, on a large scale, celebrated Christmas with gift-giving. The marketplace fueled the changing Christmas customs; newly created department stores crafted a commercial image of the Christmas holiday in order to fuel their seasonal sales. Right away, some Christians lamented that Christmas was becoming too commercial. For the most part, however, Americans gloried in their commercialism. The story of Santa Claus underwent a dramatic revision during this period. Originally, the legend of St. Nicholas was of a Turkish monk who gave away all of his wealth and traveled the countryside helping the poor and sick. In Germany, St. Nicholas was later said to be accompanied by Black Peter, an elf who punished disobedient children. American writers- most notably Clement Clarke Moore, who is generally credited with writing "The Night Before Christmas" - transformed these re ligious figures into Santa Claus, a fat and "right jolly old elf" from the North Pole. Santa, unlike the Christian St. Nicholas, gives gifts to rich and poor alike. Santa's gifts are not alms given out of Christian compassion- he is a jolly elf with an endless supply of goods for all of those greedy, materialistic Americans. Many Christians today believe that Christmas is under attack. Jesus' birthday, they point out, ought not to be celebrated with pure commercialism and selfishness. They lament the popularity of the Christmas carol over the Mass, of "I want it" over "love thy neighbor," of shopping over praying, of Santa over St. Nicholas . Christmas is under attackbut not in the way most serious Christians think . Christmas has been under attack by Christians since the fourth century. Since their usurpation of the winter solstice celebrations from pagans, they have sought to eliminate all that makes Christmas worth celebrating. They have sought to replace good will with self-sacrifice, merriment with guilt, and celebration of this life with concern for the next life. Obviously, there is no universal law stating that everyone who calls himself Christian will wish to s tamp o ut ev ery selfish element of Christmas . Many Christians are selfish, too- they refuse to let their philosophy get in the way of their love of this life and their pursuit of that which promotes their lives on earth. They enjoy giving and receiving gifts and lis tening to jolly Ch ristmas carols. Still, though some Christians celebrate Christmas like pagans, the fact remains that Jesus would not approve. Trees, decorations, gifts, Santa, and carols- every lifecelebrating Christmas tradition can be traced back to pagan culture. (Christmas carols, though technically Christian in origin, are more essentially a secular phenomAtheist Kids continued on back page . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �Sect Talk continued from page 7 Consider the spirit of self-centeredness writ large- be it manifested in consumer capitalism, or in the Overman doctrine. As a real, efficacious spirit that madly aspires to be "self-created" this thing is not ~filton's noble rebel, but thoroughly stunted and loathsome-comically pretentious, at best, as in the film Time Bandits: "If I were creating the world I wouldn't mess about with 'butterflies' and 'daffodils'- I would have started with lasers, eight o'clock, Day One!" It is not out of friendship for us that it whispers: Psst. How'd you like to be completely independent, . just n e me.? 1 It is the inheritance of commumty that binds, that provides the raw stuff-dreamsare-made of, the stuff without which individual human creativity is impossible. It is bv acknowledging-rather than sneerin~ at- the collective memory, that the future is woven. To deride communal heritage while praising creativity: this is like regarding grain as a parasitic plant whose cultivation should be abandoned, so that we may spend more time mastering the art of bread-making. It is to think that the matter of a work may be "cleansed" from the form. Which brings up the quasi-Christian sect Gnosticism. One of Gnosticism's tenets is the dichotomy of soul and body: ethereal= good, material = bad. The Ultimate God of Heaven and spirit is High, the lesser creator-god of Earth and flesh is low. In this picture mind and flesh are seen as jammed together like a child's detachable toy bricks; a hybrid construct of Legos- some 14K gold, some cheap plastic-- are preferred over logos-attuned matter, as metaphysical descriptor. The ironv of Gnosticism's recent resurgence is ~hat I have heard men laud it, while in the same breath indignantly accusing Christianity of those dogmas that led Gnosticism to be cast from the Chnstian fold in the first place. For Gnosticism engenders two attitudes toward sex: 1) Sex reinforces the attachment of one's soul to the detested body, and thus should be shunned or 2) Since psyche is All, and the body is Nothing, sex is also Nothing, and therefore trivial... have sex with anvone anvtime- like scratching an itch. The is;lati~n of asceticism, the alienation of hedonism-either case, whatever 10 relevance sex may have had for human relationships falls by the wayside. Yet both views are valid takes on human sexuality, if we grant that that soul and body should be divorced. But orthodox Christianity does not grant this premise, and answers with a by Kyle Varner single term: Incarnation. From that concept flows unpopular I\fr. Nolen and I\fr. Daly include an interChristian positions on sexuality-be they esting aside in their recent article, "Stop Taking in regards to birth control, chastity, hoYour Vote so F-ing Seriously." I would be mosexuality, polygamy, or pornography. inclined to say they argue that free trade isn't Naturally one may reject the Incarnation, good for everyone involved. But they don't choosing some other framework by which argue, they assert. I answer their assertion with to view life, or-more rarely-one may a Euclid-ish proof: accept the Incarnation while rejecting the Let there be two persons, person A and positions traditionally derived from it. person B. And let them be separated by a vast But if-as an individualist- one asplane k..'1own as "o-c-e-a-n." Let person A serts that human beings are isolated, atproduce some product, called C. Now let peromized individuals whose interaction son B produce some other product, known as with one another should strictly be unD. Let there also be a floating plane, known as derstood as quid pro quo economics, then SHIP, which traverses t h e pane " o-c-e-a-n"I . l one has a problem: in chucking out the sav that, A and B will trade products only when past's irritating hang-ups, we have t_ossed it is beneficial for both of them to do so. For out love in the bargain. For love 1s not if not, one of them must be harmed. Let us an economic exchange among rational inassume B is harmed. But B chose to trade dividuals. with A, so B chose to be harmed. This is For lo~/-e is not rational. Love is not ar! absurd. Therefore, when "-\ and B decide to equation. Love is not zero-sum. make a trade, they do so ody when it benefits Through love humans relate to one anboth of them. other as specks of paint relate to one another on a canvas-contextual relatedness produces complexity, beauty, c meaning. To deny the sex act's connection to any holistic order - to declare it a subconsciously calculated pleasuretransaction- opens a nasty can of Freudian worms. To disconnect individuals from that which transcends them is e a to disconnect them L _ __ _ _ _ _ from one another. Fellow-poets share poetry good and bad; fellow-sailors share the sea, in moods beautiful and terrible; kinfolk share famQED ilv-its history and common experience, w'hether tragic or triumphant. For that Bv the way, Gentlemen, your act of electoral.abstinence is to be commended. By the way, Gentlemen In;\. LJ I~ Sect Talk continued on back page . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �A Man For All Seasons continued from front page eryone with his broad range and his gams. Chris Bea ably portrayed the blustering Duke of Norfolk, and Jordan Gannon made a wonderfully unctuous ambassador. As always, it was a pleasure to see the redoubtable Erikk Geannikis, playing the ever-practical Cardinal Wolsey; Alex Claxton as lovable mugwump William Roper; and Caitrin Hill as More's cool and clever daughter, Margaret. It was truly delightful to see so many new faces on the FSK stage. The cast of fourteen was almost evenly divided between KWP veterans and newcomers. Some of the newcomers are no strangers to the stage, like Mike Wurzel, who played cold, calculating Cromwell marvelously. Geremy Coy, on the other hand, had never been in a play before. When pressed by this intrepid reporter for some juicy details on his first experience with the KWP, his only comment was, "Like Thomas More, I stand on my silence." But his adroit performance as the morally adrift Richard Rich spoke for itself. Other newcomers included Chelsea Batten, who tackled the challenging role of Alice More with feistiness and vitality, and Mike Vecchiolla was wonderful and memorable as the Common Man and provided us with a droll running commentary in his various roles. Also new to our fair stage were Jacob ImlayHumphrey as the freshface d attendant to Chapuys, Magdalen Wolfe as spiteful Catherine Anger, and David Patterson as the vociferous Archbishop Cranmer. All acquitted themselves well and I know we can expect great things from them in the future. The director, Rook Singer, was a first-timer as well. He has always loved the play, and thanks to the egalitarian spirit of St. John's and the KWP, he got the chance to direct it. He was ably assisted by Lia Boyle, who also designed the extremely effective sets and lights. Although there were scenes set in nine different locations, the set design and props were spare but effective, once again proving that Johnnie chairs and tables are truly timeless. Anna Breon's accurate costumes made good use of tights for the men and beautiful dresses for the women. The stage crew kept things running smoothly, while being presided over by stage manager Deb Streusand. All in all, A Man for All Seasons was a great success. As far as I could see, opening night went off without a hitch, and brought down the house. Many also attended the Q&A period afterward, which was a great idea and will hopefully become a tradition for the KWP. Saturday night the performance seemed tighter and more passionate, although sadly the audience was rather tepid. My only complaint was the wide spectrum of accents, which was somewhat distracting. But that did not prevent me from being impressed with the high caliber performance of a thought-provoking play. Clearly, a lot of talent and hard work went into this production. Congratulations and thanks to all who made A Man for All Seasons into a thoughtful and powerful drama for us to enjoy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 11 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 by Leo Pickens Athletic Director You can't flirt with the track. You must marry it. --Bill Easton, legendary Kansas track coach In the Holiday Invitational Tournament, there have been close fought contests, and some real inspired play. One standout performer is also quite a surprise as well: I'm talking about the Hustler bee team center, Mr.]. Dobbyn. Where has this guy been for the past three years? Anyway, Mr.]. Dobbyn earns Athlete of the Week honors for showing us all that it's never to late to come out and have a go. On tl1e women's side of the ledger, the Amazons can finally breathe a sigh of relief after posting their first victory of the season this past week. A major contributor to their win was their recent addition to their team, the very classy freshman b-baller, Ms. Andrews. Not only can she play some good basketball, but she showed some great flexibility and sportsmanship by being willing to be traded from the D.C.s to the Amazons in order to create parity in the league. For her great attitude, Miss Andrews is named Athlete of the Week for the women. You Make the Call: Mr. Coy came up with the right call for last week's puzzler: the technical is assigned to the coach of the offending team. And now for this week's teaser: On a free throw by A1, Bl commits a lane violation. Al's free throw misses the ring and flange. First one to me with the correct ruling goes to the bookstore on me. You can leave your response on my voice mail, x2558. Atheist Kids continued from page 9 enon. To fight pagan customs, the singing of Christmas carols was actually banned from services- first by the Council of Chalonsur-Saone in the seventh century, again in the thirteenth century by the Council of Avignon, and again in the fifteenth century by the Council of Basle. Pope John XXII, following St. Augustine's lead, chastised composers who prevent devotion by attempting to please the ear. As late as January of this year, a Diocese in Ireland banned from services all secular music. In other words, some serious Christians have supported caroling- but only when it opens up a way towards God. Upbeat and high-spirited carols and songs- such as those about Rudolph and Frosty- are essentially secular.) What, then, is Christmas? Is it a Christian observance of the birth of Christ? If so, then the holiday must be one of hatred for this world. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters- yes, even his own lifehe cannot be my disciple," Jesus is reported to have said (Luke 14:25). Hatred, in this context, requires that one subordinate one's love for oneself and one's family to one's duty to God. If, on the other hand, you value your own life on earth, then do something about it: have a merry Christmas! Sect Talc continued from page 10 "Mouth Watering, Fresh, and Made to Order" One Craig Street Annapolis, MD 21401 Tel: 410-263-3049 Fax: 410-263-3075 12 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . matter, even Objectivists share something non-rational: a love for Ayn Rand. In revering her they prove themselves better than her philosophy. Only the sharing of different perspectives on some Good that lies beyond our selves can simultaneously bond us and preserve our individuality. This sharing takes place on many levels; through words, through actions, through gestures, through symbols. And this sharing bears fruit. Whereas self-centeredness is the most profoundly sterile form of incest. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 14 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 14 of The Gadfly. Published in 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.14 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/a58aa21cdcb2f3281cf2d278968dbda4.pdf 6e0f87cf99e20123b5ca5d3acf5221bb PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY TH ~ll~ilf!lll GADFLy 1 Tbe St. Johns College Student JVeek[y Volume XXVI, lJSue 15 Annapolis, Maryland January 18, 2005 January Freshmen Arrive by Willis McCumber, Staff writer This past Wednesday the college welcomed into its midst the 2005 January Freshman class. While our college president may be wondering "who am I?" the rest of the college community is wondering more superficially "who are they?" The most direct way of finding out is to talk to them; as lvls. Kessler, a former January freshman, urged the freshman choir last Thursday: "please, just talk to them." I hope you follow her words. Ivfore generally, the January freshman program has long been a characteristic feature of admissions at St. John's. Yet opinions vary widely regarding its value and efficacy at the college. According to Assistant Dean Judy Seeger, next year "will be the last January Freshman class unless we change our minds.'' The program has been gradually phased out over the past four years, and the class, which back in the sixties and seventies consisted of as many as fifty students, is made up this year of about twenty. Why was the program begun in the first place? According to Dean Flaumenhaft, the program was started for the simple reason that "we needed students." St. John's has always admitted a relatively high number of transfer students, and it was thought that providing the opportunity to enroll mid-year would draw these applicants. As far as this goes, it seems to have been successful. However, St. John's is no longer as pressed for applications as it used to be. There are also some serious academic drawbacks that have led the program to be criticized over the years, according to l\.1s. Seeger and Dean Flaumenhaft. An Interview with Roger Martin by Christopher Utter Editor-in-Chief Because there are six less seminar readings in the January freshman curriculum, various readings have been cut over the years. J'vfost recently, the January freshman have not read Herodotus, skipped one play, and cut some of the Repub/it' or Plutarch. These have been made up in part by guerilla seminars. The losses, while not irrevocable, are damaging. These considerations, coupled with the difficulty of the extra-compressed curriculum in general, were the reasons :r.,fs. Seeger gave for ending the program. However, as seniorJ'vfatt Reiner of the January class of 2001 pointed out, the regular St. John's curriculum is truncated as it is. He claimed that the benefits of the program outwe_ighed the downsides. Chris Aamot, our new Director of Student Services, was a January freshman in Santa Fe. He also disagrees with the plan to end the program, and views the year "1\1ost college presidents become professors during their sabbaticals. I wanted to become a student." Thus began my interview with Roger :Martin, president ofRandolph-}.-facon College and part-time St. John's freshman. 1\{r.l\.fartin has been studying the first year experience in general, and wanted to "get a look from the inside." He feels that St. John's is a great place to begin such an inside investigation. He came having set a few rules for himself: he would live with his wife off-campus, he would not speak in Seminar (instead he would later express his ideas in writing), but he would go to waltz parties, join the crew team, and participate in other social aspects of college life. I first met Roger through the crew team; I had heard that a college president was coming to be a student here, but I didn't know Rusty was the one. Crew creates an environment where the focus is on the product created by collective effort (in this case boat speed) often even more than is the case in Seminar (where that product is d1e conversation). 1\-1r. 1\Tartin agreed wirl1 me on this point, and thought that athletics at St. John's really helped him along: "a large part of what I'll be writing about is the pure athletics and how people bring the curriculum into it." I have always thought of St. John's as having rather unusual students to go along with its unusual curriculum, but Roger feels clifferenrly, "the students are very similar despite the curriculum; you often remind me of my Harvard students. Good schools tend to be insular, not just St. John's. Even what you January Freshman continued on back page Roger Martin continued on back page �THE ~GADFLY Table qf Contents Fixing Second Semester Reading List...... .4 Editor-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Movie Review: Chariots of Fire ..............•.. .4 [Maps of downtown Annapolis................ 6, 7 Production Manager Shoshana Goldstein Business Manager Cathy Keene Gods, Angels and the Grinch who stole ~atutnalia....................................................... S Take this any way you want......................... 9 Cotnics ........................................................... lO Contributing to this Issue ChrisAamot Erica Beall NickColten A.P.David Stacey Goguen Alan L. Handley 11iriam Keim Brad Kinney Willis McCumber I\Iatthew :McLean Erv1n Romero ]. D. Salyer Clarke Saylor Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(::;)and do not ncccssarilly represent the opinions of the Gadffy staff. The Gadf/y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obliga.ted to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they arc legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 Fishermen Boxing Dqy 2004 Fault lines are cracks in a teacup Earthquakes are an old lady's hiccough And the prophetic tea leaves floating in the dregs Fitfully tossed and finally side-stuck Are so many dead fishermen. Wives and sons and lonely daughters Are laid on human biers, Wail in strange agony with no lesson, Clamber through the bric-a-brac Become prey for the fishers ofmeu. How do we find the cause of this Strange upswelling, this sea surge? The farmer caste and the mountain dwellers, Darkling ponderers, would call them back These fishermen, for questioning. Lament Dear Gadfly, Life sucks, really. Sometimes I think that there is nothing worth doing. Then I find myself doing something. \Vas it worth it? I don't know. l\Jany times I expect to get change, but I come to find out that I'm actually a quarter short. I would write more, but you wouldn't nnderstand. No, you wouldn't understand. Even if we were born of the same mother and we had created a secret language between us in childhood when philosophical questions were the only ones we knew to ask, and even if you asked just the right question and I gave you just the right answer, you still wouldn't nnderstand. I'm sure about that. So I'll stop writing now for your sake not mine. But they are gone, the way ofgraveyards, Gone to flowers, an ocean bodily blooming; And I stumble upon a vacant shark, Remnant of the surge 011 a sea street And questiou his dying, gasping, fish dignity. usir Shark," I said, uwhy these wafting fishermeu, This surging sea calamity, ionospheric discharge In a cracked teacup? Why the fish slaughter, And the lonely daughter?" uFool," he replied drylyHAsk me at home. I am a fish out of water." A. P. David, tutor, Sri Lankan native Sincerly, Romero All College Seminar January 21st from 8:00-9:00 p.m. "The Dream of a Ridiculous Man" by Dostoevsky Readings are available in the Coffee Shop and the Library All members of the polity are invited! Sign up on the SCI board in the Coffee Shop . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Reality Dues Dear Polity: Regarding your dues: to those of you who have already paid, we very much appreciate your promptness; and for those of you who have yet to pay, we have an unpleasant bit of news. Beginning in February, dues will increase as we approach Reality \Veekend, excluding seniors and Febbies. Dues are $20 per person until the beginning of February, at which time they become $25. \Ve will continue to raise dues by $5 a month. So, should you actually wait until the Attention: Financial Aid Recipients by Miriam Keirn Ifyou applied for finandal aid for Thursday, January 13 2005 2004-05 we have distributed 2005-06 fomts in yottr camptts mailbox. Ifyott did not apply for aid for 2004-05 and wish to do so for nextyear, infowation abottf applying for finandal aid, deadlines and links to the FAJ<""'SA and week before, or w1til Reality Weekend itself, dues lfJrojile are m;ailable at the college websit will be $40. at www.stjohnscollege.edtt. Contad ottr If, for some reason, you think it is unnecessary for you to pay your dues, we would like to office ifyott have a'!Y qttestions. take this moment to remind you that the dining hall closes for Reality \V'eekend and that the vast majority of the money spent during the weekend goes towards food, not alcohol. Tllls being the case, we encourage you to pay as soon as possible; not that we wouldn't enjoy it if you decided to give us extra cash, but dut's up to you. Sincerely, Your Reality Archons Re: Princeton Reveiw Survrys To the Polity: It was our overwhelming impression while conducting the Princeton Review surveys that the majority of the student body agreed with neither their content nor their purpose. As a result, St. John's will not officially be participating in the Princeton Review surveys for 2005. However, if you would like to share your opinions of the school with the Princeton Review, please feel free to take their very similar online survey at http:// survey.review.com. We will be keeping the paper surveys that were completed within the last week until the end of the month in case anyone would like to remind themselves of their comments. To receive your survey, please contact Erica Beall via Campus :Niail. To those of you who volnnteered your time and effort, we thank you for your help. If you have any questions regarding the cancellation of this survey, feel free to contact either of us. SCI Minutes Present: Nora Kelleher, SCI chair, Ivfiriam Keirn, SCI Secretary, Chris Utter, junior representative, Erica Beall, sophomore. representative, Paul Wilford, sophomore representative. Discussed Princeton Review Survey Planned the All College Seminar FridayJanuary 21 at 8 p.m. in the Great Hall Discussed events planned for this semester Paul \\Tilford volunteered to run "Plato in the Springtime" seminars In Response to Mr. Varners Prorf Dear Editor, In his recent proof of the inherent goodness of free trade, I believe :Mr. Varner made a large oversight. He stated that persons A and B produced products C and D, which A and B proceed to exchange. However, it seems tilllikely that A and B produce C and D. Rather, other parties E and F produce the goods, which they pass to A and B to be traded. A and B will then no doubt use those products to their best advantage. A and B's benefit, however, is not necessarily E and F's. Therefore, those responsible for production do not necessarily benefit from free trade. ???? ???? ?????? Sincerely, Alan L. Handley The DOSS is hin'ng Febbie parents! If you're interested in being a Febbie mom or dad, drop riff your resume and cover letter to the Student Services r!lftce ly Fridqy, January 21, 2005. Attention: On February tst, all items in the Librarys lost and found area will be donated to wortly causes. If you think one rf your lost items has found its wqy to us, please come and claim it. Erica Beall Miriam Keirn Thank you, Greenfield Library Staff ' ' . ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' THE G},DFLY ' 3 �Fixing the Second Semester Seminar List by Nick Colten Staff Writer Because Sprh1g Break falls a week earlier this year, a problem has arisen in the second semester Seminar list. T11e schedule generally places long readings-like IV'ar and Peace and Middlemarch--immediately after vacations so that more time will be available for students to complete the readings. This year, however, several readings fall a week after the break. For sophomores, the reading is book one of Gm;gantua (about 200 pages long); for juniors, it's Pride a11d Pro/udice (almost 300 pages); and for seniors, it's The Brothers Karamazov (well over 700 pages). Although I know an alumnus who claims to have read the latter book in the course of a weekend, such heroism ought not to be expected from most students. Students could read some or all of the long read~ ing during the break, in addition to the reading they are scheduled to do for 1Jarch 14'h, but this does not seem to be the best option. The best alternative is to shuffle the readings aronnd a bit. The junior schedule should place DoH Giova1111i before the break, have Pride aJld Pn!Ju~ dife be the first reading after the break, followed by the Locke seminars. The senior schedule ought to have William James follow The Broth~ ers Karamazov. I suspect that the prior reading of a work of psychology might add to the trial scenes in The Brothers Karamazov, but it seems preferable to have the Dostoevsky seminars closer to the time in which the book is read. The sophomore schedule admits of more than one easy and good reform; assuming that the Gargantua is the first seminar after the break, Richard II and Hmry IV; Part I could be the next two readings, or they could be read between 1V1onta1gne and J\'fachiavelli, or after Machiavelli. I'm inclined toward the third option, if only so that these two political plays can be read in light of The Pn'm-e. Of course, I can also see the value in reading The Prinfe in light of the two plays. Movie Review: Chariots of Fire "Two men chasing dreams of glory!" by Matthew McLean This week the St. John's Film Society is showing the 1981 Best Picture Chariots of Fire, directed by Hugh Hudson (Greystoke: The Legend of Tarza11). It is a film written by Colin Welland, based on the true story of two men who ran in the 1924 Olympics. Ben Cross plays Harold Abrahams, a young Jewish man attempting to prove his worth in Cambridge's highly competitive Trinity College. His rival, Eric Lid del, played by Ian Charleson, is a devout missionary student at Edinburgh Presbyterian who runs for God. The visuals, set to a well-known score by Vangelis (Blade Runner), are stunning. Washington D.C. on Inaugural Weekend! The flrst Chinatown shutde for Spring will run on Saturday, January 22nd. Seating is now flrst come, flrst seatedreservations are no longer being taken in the blue binder. Because of the high volume of trafflc expected in downtown Washington D.C. due to Presidential Inaugural festivities, d1e SJC shutde will drop you off/pick you up at the New Carrollton metro station instead of going into Chinatown as usual. Shutde departs gym lot at 10 AM and picks-up at New Carrollton at 5:30 PM. Call Nina Carrieri (x2537) with any questions. Some say that running is sport in its purest form, and the races in this film certainly attest to that statement. I am not a great athlete myself, but this is still one of my favorite films of all time. Chariots of Fire, to put it simply, is inspiring. Do yourself a favor and see it this Saturday at Spm in FSK. Cost is 3 dollars. I 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Wrap of the Day, Side Order &.. 16 oz. Drink Local EVERY DAY Ice Soup &.. Salad Special ream Our treat] Spend $5.00 after 5pm and Dessert is on us. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . ; 5 .. �~ (-..~<> ....$) Ill &..<~.k m~ . . ~ (-~eo..,.. """"r ......... ...,.\- I"\...\) cf.n r~·~) @ N'-'41 t.a fl~~- (:St.. ~~~-~- "" c.u... I""'.Y-) S-t.o p ,. Noit: 114-t t.. J(<L~ -~ >!<~ (lt)'-d"S..-. ~·",1 ..,;.~Wk b.. ~H5h.~~ '""-«<"''~ .;w,.. 6 I,. ,.r~;..,..~.. o..,-'t-.!;<1... .,...._.. """'""'"'\ · THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) I 0) 11) 12) 13) 14) 15) 16) Graul's- The only local groce1y store within reasonable walking distance. Rite-Aid- If you don't know what it is, you probably don't need it. Art Things, Inc.- Need some exotic supplies? Try somewhere else. Need paint? This is the place. 7-11- Keep up the tradition of/ate night taco sauce runs during a blizzard! Minimart- Expensive but there for emergen~ cies if you don 'tfeellike walking far. Joss Cafe- Sushi bar. Go if you want to see some dazzling knife work. }oyLuckEmperorBest Chinese food around with a nice lunch deal. Be sure to try the lemonade. Chick and Ruth's You're not Johnnies until you've tried their St. JohnS burger. Making yourself sick t1ying to eat the El Cid is another favorite pastime. Mangia- Nice Italian food and they have pizza by the slice. Potato Valley - These people do things with potatoes that are so good they should be illegal, Anna beth's- Movies, movies, movies. Sells expensive yet interesting snack foods. City Dock on Marylaud Ave. - For those days that you just need a laue. Galway Bay- Tis a grand place to go for those ofye with a craving for food from Mother Ireland. The Smoke Shop - Got a nicotine addiction? Try this store. Hard Bean- Books and coffee. What else could one ask for? City Dock- Same as #12 but downtown. lL~, )(....1 )!.~,.,.~ 17) Riordan's- Good burgers (and great 21) DoubleT Diner- The only place in ·wings that are halfprice Monday nights). Nice after seminar stop. 18) Aromi D'ltalia- Italian gelato. Go. Annapolis still open 24 hours some days. Traditional hangout. 22) Melting Pot~ Delicious fondue and peifectfor a first date. 23) 49 West- Guess where on West Street this is located. Highfalutin' coffee shop and favorite hangout. Now. 19) Denny's- Late night pie runs for those with cars are a must. 20) Bertucci's Brick Oven PizzeriaItalian food worth dying for. Might actually be the form of the good. . ' . ' ' ' . ' . ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' . . . . . . . . . . ' .. THE GADFLY ' 7 I �Gods, Angels, and the Grinch Who Stole Saturnalia by Jerry Salyer Staff \Vriter ?vir. Schwartz's pre~Christmas piece-----expressing his view that the Christian celebration of Christmas is an ironic activity-was artiutlate and good-hwnored, traits I appreciate. However--attempting to remain courteous-! must make a number of counterpoints. Hopefully my sarcasm is not vindictive, for, overall, I respect the essay's integrity (many agree wid1 I'vlr. Schwartz but lack the honesty to admit it), and, despite flaws, the piece ultimately succeeds as discourse: it reaches the Ct\L'{ of the disagreement. J\Ir. Schwartz praises Saturnalia, but he misses the fact that Saturnalia's festivities were rooted in the day's religious significance. The term "religious holiday'' is, in fitct, a redundanc)~ when one considers the etymology of the word ''holiday" (i.e., holy day). Even secular holidays are inevitably rooted in tlllngs which transcend the pleasures of the individual celebrant-from Earth Day's extolling of the environment, to July 4th, to the celebrations at St. John's (Cro- quet, even Lola's) that draw Johnnies to a shared herimge. Some call Christendom dishonest for preserving elements of paganism, yet to Christians their mission is to renew and save everything that can be saved. In pouring out libations and celebrating heaven's gifts bestowed upon man, the pagans were not far from the mark. Christians see in their own religion a completion of the tmths in pagans' visions. Perhaps ancient Romans found tllls an obnoxious claim, but maybe had they known how today's consumer complex would treat community bonds and the notion of piety-both central values to Saturnalia's celebrants-they might have looked more kindly upon the upstart faith. As Christianity seeks to fulfill, to Christianize the hea- then world, Atomism seeks to atomize Christian and heathen alike. T.S. Eliot may be a "usmping'' hypocrite in viewing Greek myths tluough Christian eyes, but Hollywood's godless eyes are obviously blinder than Homer's. If I read correctly, MJ: Schwartz regards Chris- tianity as a life-negating parasite that snubs happiness. ''Every life-celebrating Christmas tradition can be traced back to pagan culture." That Christianity preserves life-celebrating pagan tra- 8 d.itions certainly could mean dut Christians arc hypocrites who cannot accept their faith's allegedly nihilistic views (as d1e Kremlin paradoxically used Russian patriotism to promote Marxism); but it could, alternatively, mean that d1ere is a trutl1 shared by Christian and pagan alike. In any case, I suggest that scenes of a mother, a husband, and assorted critters clustered around a newborn king are at least as life-celebrating as a plastic tree in the living room ... perhaps the presence ofi'"fagi implies that Nativity scenes are pagan. I suspect Mr. Schwartz long ago decidedperhaps helped along by hostile secondary sources-that Christianity is a resentful, sourgrapes religion rooted in envy felt by wretched have-nots toward guilt-ridden haves. But I\Ir. Schwartz is no more entitled to declare to Christians what their faith means d1an I would be to tell Muslims what Islam means. It is for the 1vfuslims to explain Islam to me, not vice versa. But then perhaps some errant Christians did try to explain the faith to Mr. Schwartz, but did so poorly. Certainly those he consults-Puritans, and Oliver Cromwell-make me grateful he did not quote David Korcsh, Tammy Faye Baker, or the serial-killer from Seven. (If 1-Ir. Schwartz uses Cromwell as a Christian authority-who butchered countrymen in civil war, defiled altars, and anointed himself"Lord Protector" ofEngland-tlletl I could quote the Beltway Sniper as a Muslim authority.) Mr. Schwartz asserts "the fact remains that Jesus would not approve" of Christians singing, sharing loaves of bread and jugs of wine and enjoying Christmas cheer. I am curious as to where 1\·Ir. Schwartz got tills fact. .. a voice from a burning bush, perhaps? I wish I were as confidently in touch with Christ's heart and mind as t.lr. Schwartz implies he is. Today Christianity is called morbid asceticism-but back then Christ's enemies accused Him of being "gluttonous, and a winebibber" (i.e., drunkard) for spending too much time eating and drinking with riff-raff. As a man who healed the sick, as a man who compared childhood-presumably with antics, laughter, wideeyed curiosity, and aU-with the Kingdom of God, it is rather bitter that Christ's message is taken as anathema to happiness. One oUght more dead1 spends his time telling parable-riddles, or at wedding-parties? But then perl1aps that is part of Christ's mystery, to bear blame for each and every unhappiness--even mutually e. clu... sive ones-wid1 which Adam curses himself. \"'Vhen I stupidly bang my thumb with a hammer, who do I condemn? \Vhose name do I cry out in angry accusation? Certainly not my own. :Mr. Schwartz's interpretation of Luke 14:25 is astonishingly astute (and I say dlls widwut sarcasm) for someone who rejects Christianity: "Hatred, in tllls conteA"t, requires that one subordinate one's love for oneself and one's family to one's duty to God." (Actually Christ uses the word "love" in his first big commandment; I am curious as to why 1\-Ir. Schwattz thinks of "love" for self and family, but "duty" in regards to God-perhaps because "duty" better fits his perception of Christianity as grimly joyless.) I am mildly disturbed that IVIr. Schwatiz understands tills message fairly clearly yet cannot accept it-when generalized, it is not even a particularly Christian revelation, but a simple injunction to piety, of a sort the pagans could have understood instantly, in a single blink of Argus' eyes: Remember, all you motials: It is by the Heaven painted above that you find your way across the ocean; it is the generous Earth you trod upon that feeds you. It is only through subordination to some greater Good thattl1e Self can thrive. The reference to "one's family'' ratl1er makes tl1e pointfor if placing love-of-God first is a betrayal of love-of-family, is it betrayal of our love-of-self to subordinate that love to our love-of-family? Or is it betrayal of love-of-self to subordinate that love to our love-of-country, or community? (Do we also disdain the warrior ethos, and the etl1os of evety jolly, stout-hearted mariner?) And are we freakish masochists if we subordinate ourselves to love-of-wisdom? (Unfortunately this piece will come out while senior essays are in swing-which may make some inclined to answerin tl1e affirmative.) But, just perhaps, could it instead be that through those loves for things above and beyond us, the self actually comes home, reaches its own true reality, is completed? Only in a larger, holistic context-harmonized with the eternal love from which they flow-----can loves be them- sensibly regard Christ as being a little too playful and cheerful-a man doomed to be tortured to . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gods, Angels continued on page 11 �Take This Any Way You Want by Stacey Goguen 1 would like to respond to the responses to 1\·fr. Nolen and Daly's article, where the two advocated citizens pursuing social issues with personal actions, and reasons for not voting. First, I would like to comment on the Gadf!JS use as a forum of ideas and arguments in the community. In the opening paragraph that is reprinted every week, they express desire to have "the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper". In light of this, I question the two authors whose responses included many questions to Nolen and Daly. If they were so confused about the original article, wouldn't it make their responses better if they discussed their confusions with the authors, and then wrote their assertions as responses? I myself had many questions after reading the original article. However, I decided to talk to Nolen and Daly about it, which cleared up all misunderstandings. Wouldn't it produce more informative articles if they were not written as queries to others, but as statements of what the author has understood? Obviously, in some cases questions are a good form of investigation. As a reader, though, I think responses would be more useful if they were statements. Second, I would like to comment on the belief that every citizen should vote. I am constantly encouraging my peers to vote. I think more people in America should vote. However, I solicit to people who take no consideration of their communities, because I feel that not investing in your community is not considering your own welfare. In their article, it seemed apparent that Nolen and Daly were not apathetic to their communities. In fact, in a personal discussion, I discovered that they pursue social issues further in their hands-on way than I do by voting and letter writing. In fact, I feel ashamed as an American citizen for not being more active in my new community. \Vho am I then, to scorn them for not voting, when they are seeking change in their own way? If the authors of theresponses feel that something more can be accomplished by voting, then they may have a stronger case for encouraging everyone to vote. I would just like to state that I do not see abstaining from voting in this instance as a disregard or apathy towards rights. Third, I would like to comment on the free trade issue, which has been floating around the past few issues. No one has tried to explain it, so I wilL The term "free trade" seems to imply trade that is free. For the participants in free trade today, it means that countries can sell and buy goods from anywhere they like, and companies can set up shop in any country that allows them. This seems to benefit all traders. However, is this benefiting all involved? A problem arises when countries do not have the same rules governing business, For instance, America has a minimum wage to protect employees, and the FDA for consumers. If a company can freely make a product in a country without these regulations, they can pay their employees less money, and create a less-safe product, while retaining all the benefits of being an American business. If anyone can think of a solution for this dilemma, it would be greatly appreciated. The Shopping Shutde departs from the gym lot every Tuesday and Friday afternoon at 4:00. First come, flrst seated. **Shopping Shutde resumes its regular schedule beginning Tuesday, January 18th.** Last, I would like to comment on the tone of articles. During my life, I have heard things which sound so inanely stupid that I want to pound my head against a walL However, one thing I have begun to pick up here at St. John's is that no one means to express stupid ideas. Every person I've met (not under the effects of foreign substances) has a reason for their opinions, which makes sense to them. If we thought that our opinions were stupid, we wouldn't believe them, Hence, whenever I hear or read an opinion that makes me Snort with disgust, I try to understand why a person would believe such a thing. }.:fan y times, I discover that from where the author is coming, the opinion is not stupid at alL I think that articles in the Gadf(y would be more thought-provoking if instead of dismissing an opinion as "stupid" and listing a reason why, the authors thought first about why someone would believe such an opinion. Or maybe I'm just tired of hearing people throw insults. If you think an opinion is stupid, tell the author. But as a reader, I don't care to hear it. Let me point out, though, that some insults, when used with sarcasm and humor, make a point, which I see as legitimate. But not if you just want to say something is stupid. To practice what I preach, I will attempt to see where the responses' authors are coming from. I can clearly see why some people would wish to write down their confusions about an article along with their response. In our classes, we are constantly asking questions about the texts we read. Also, I can see why, with ancestors who gave up their lives so that future generations (us) could have our rights, it seems inconsiderate that some people choose not to exercise them, I can definitely see why many people assume "free trade" to mean free trade; it was my first thought as well. And lastly, I can see why people feel justified in insulting others' opinions. I myself become extremely frustrated with certain beliefs. However, I do not think these are the best approaches to these topics. For reasons why, see above article. . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �Gadf!J Funny Papers I z "2...22:. ... \ 10 . . . . ' . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �tJ:ee in Nagasaki tTh'lt renewed itselfafter beingmasted by radioactive fire. We blame God for making Hell, when in t:rufu we make Hell-but fue tree keeps giving to us, in spite of om-selves. lfd1ereisoneareainwhichfueGodofAbraham may be outdone, it is in fue area of jealousy. God is jealous for Creation, desiring all things to reach their fulfillment by turning toward heaven. Materialism is jealous in a much more purely covetous manner-it longs to devour, absolutely; and not only Christian dmrches butalltemples,andalldreamsarediscounted as undigested potato bits d1at sometimes disturb monkeys' mechanisms. Materialism's claustrophobic vision is too small for transcendent trufu, and dissolves happiness into appetites oftalking meat; it dainls d1at fue natill'e of things is meaninglessness; atoms d1at have no hope of connecting \vid1 ead1 od1er as they waste energy bouncing in Nodling. And so this anti-metaphysic crumot tolerate so much as d1e littlest fairy ofsymbolism hiding in a hobbithole, not a single whispered invocation ofd1eMuse, nor anydling else that cailllot be measured, weighed, divvied up and sold to investors-kinship, friendship, art, heart. Materialism is even ultimately antagonistic to science-for science prn-sues logos Gods , Angels continued from page 8 selves. Othenvise they become warped, consrnning cancers-if d1e reader does not know what I am talking about here, he is eid1er very blessed, or very unforttmate. Living for d1e Creator of matter does not deny ilie value of matter, it demands d1at matter be given its appropriate place, back nnder d1e tutelage of spirit where it belongs, railier ilian in a state ofbestial, anarchic war. TI1e tragedy of modem man is dus: he disdains natural order, and cares not for his Creation-nurturing vocation, nor for ilie times and seasons of dlings. Modem man thinks mastering Newtonian mechanics has made llim final master of ilie nniverse, and he wants his apple now, and \vill chop down d1e apple-tree to get it-forgetting iliat fue tree is as likely to land on his head as the apple. We have conked our heads many times in the 20111 Century, and still fue response from sages of"pwgress" is d1e same: "Go back to Sears, buy a bigger, better chainsaw:" Providentially for us, fue tree keeps blossoming up again, no matter how much we attack it, like ilie sacred kaki- and untouchable transcendentals-mailiematical order, complexity, symmetry. "!v!aterialism is dead," said physicist Paul Davies, God bless him, and he was right in more ways d1an one. "D ead" in science, as discarded mistake, but in ilie collective psyche, "dead" like Romero's predat01y zombies. l\Jy conjecture is d1at you, ilie reader, are in form like an angel-and in apprehension, like a god. I submit that you cannot be defined deconstructively, iliat you are more ilian d1e sum of yoill' parts. Christianity does not command humans to value d1emselves less ilian materialism does-<Juite fue reverse: You are neiilier machine, nor beast-in-trousers. You are an iconic depiction of God Almighty. If iliat is truly ilie case, then self-love, at the least, if not love-ofGod, should make you recognize your Enemy, and challenge ilie dark spirit of ilie age. For it is not only Christmas, or Christianity, or ilie dream of Scipio d1at materialism seeks to deconstmct on d1e chilly dissection table. l\Iaterialism seeks to deconstruct you. );8 llf"'-tn'!l starts at $-U.,' 65• .,..ell equ•pfH!d, mr;h,·tllng ~ Plr><f'"'r ,s,t.tt'J:.M{C[I Sli">L(·"tl l">'<llr 1'. ~da....s, door lcoJ<s, ~mrrors.. dtn:nte Hha:J5t ~1p, .,lilt lock l;;o,~j(ro; aM ......hu: ltt Millllhl'P ~:»nll'Oil, .,nd chc1ce ur :! wheel o:#ler options. l/gh1cU! prY-!! as ~~~IJ'""' •o; $1~ .1}.\.0 ·~SRF' nt lud"'r. l:letl'..~ry. Exd udes tues. t ~11', SclOn-xb ,.. ,. l..... , 7' 6' DATE DUE I 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ° 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ° 0 0 0 0 ° 0 ° 0 THE GADFLY 11 0 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 January Freshman continued ftom front Roger Martin continued ftom front page page learn is shared with other liberal arts schools: he spent with the elite cadre of fellow how to communicate, write, form an arguJanuary Freshman as the best of his St. John's education. As }..fs. Seeger said, ment, rather than gaining some kind of vocational training." "there is an attitude of 'once a febbie, al~ Roger's goal is eventually to write someways a febbie."' The extreme difficulty of : thing substantial about the first year experithe curriculum only leads to a more inti~ ence, perhaps a book. But aside from this, he mate academic community and requires has already written articles on the subject for even ·more dedication, according to }.{r. the New York Times and other publications, and Aamot. He said that most of his current he has agreed to write a piece on crew for d1e good friends were January freshman in his College maga::;jne. He dUnks the media expoclass. sure will aid the school, but agrees with 1-Ir. Mr. Reiner applied to St. John's late after a disappointing year at Virginia Tech; McCumber [Gadfly 12/7 /2004] that polls such as those in US News are not worth much conhe was able to enroll as a January Freshsideration, and that we even cheapen ourselves man. He agreed with Mr. Aamot that had by taking them seriously. he the opportunity to do it over, he would I am still not so sure about St. John's stuunhesitatingly choose to be a January dents being representative of liberal arts stufreshman again. Both }..'fr. Reiner and }_,fr. dents in general, because I think we are in part Aamot argued that January freshman year was the real St. John's experience. defined by the curriculum, which is far from average. I do not believe that just anyone Dean Flaumenhaft said that very few January freshman apply with the intenwould do well at St. John's, even if he or she tion to enroll late and most would rather would do well at another liberal arts college. \\fe must, then, have some unique and definbegin in the fall. This may be true, and may be another reason for ending the proing characteristic that makes our being gram. Still, the issue, as Dean Johnnies more than just a name. I do think, Flaumenhaft said, is not resolved: "\Ve'll though, d1at other than this Roger and I share the same views on what makes St. John's great: be discussing it again." the fact that we bring the curriculum to all parts of our lives; the spirit of egalitarianism in our intramural sports program; d1e vivid and strikinglyubiquitous love ofleaming and desire to know which eve1T member of our community shares; and, indeed, that this very love makes him or her a member of our community. I am glad that Roger could be a member of our community, even if it was only for a short time. Sat. Jan. 29 Baltimore National Aquarium and Inner Harbor Ticket Cost: $10 Tickets Avail· 10 On sale Mondqy Jan. 24 in the coffeeshop (1 0:15 PM) cifter seminar One ticket perperson, thanks! Classical music within walking distance! The St. Annes Concert Series Washington Symphonic Brass- Wednesday, January 26, 7:30p.m., St. Annd Episcopal Chun·h on Chunh Circle in Annapolis. Treat youm!f to an evening of classical and popular mttsic re-set for brass. This concert features works by Prokofiev, S hostakm;ich, Stravinsky ('Fire bird'), The 007 Theme ji'OJn the James Bond film, "Front &wia with Love," and Mmsorgsky s 'Pictures at an Exhibition.' Pre-concert reception at 6:30p.m. in the chunJJ. Student tickets are $10 with student J.D. To reserve seats, call 410-263-1906 or visit annapolifl·horale.org. *Remember, campus mailyour name and ti,ket stub to Nina Cartieri after the evmt to t?ceive $3 cash back. 12 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ............... . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 15 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-01-18 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 15 of The Gadfly. Published January 18, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.15 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/160e994389fb12718a7bb9007df74a6c.pdf 7e4023207a50e6262fb7f3f61179c89f PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY T H EIIIIIIII!IDlDW~ A D F L y The St. Johns College Student 1!7eekly Volume XXVI, I.rsue 16.5 Annapolis, Maryland Hbruary 1, 2005 From The President Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously: Twilight Zone by Sean, The Devil, Valles Staff Writer \'\!hat the f --ck is happening on this campus? Since when has the principle of citizenship extended so far as to make the concept of communal guilt a given? This school's administration has severely punished two students recently. One was expelled for the defensible reason of (presumably) having dealt drugs on campus. The other was forcibly sent off campus for being the first's roommate and not having turned him in to any type of authority figure. In another case, the administration decided that vandalism in Gilliam Hall was the fault of one or a few of the Hall's own residents and their ignorance of the perpetrator's identity was only due to a conspiracy of silence among many, if not all of the residents of the dorm. Because of this situation, their conception of a just solution was to split the cost of the damage among all the residents, perhaps as a warning to all those quiet people, who don't know their campus' gossip, to be more suspicious of their peers. Because o(my general penchant for sarcasm and love of muckraking I am going to have a hard time expressing how phe- Adormroom in the Twilight Zone a violation in itself. Those documents largely serve much the same purpose that state drivers' manuals serve: stating an overzealous expression of what a perfect world would do. I\fuch in the way that people do not actually get pulled over for unnecessarily running yellow lights (yellow actually means stop, unless it is unsafe to do so), people do not actually get punished for the actions of others ... do they? To punish the innocent for the crimes of the guilty is to create a culture of concealment and dangerous behavior. How can an administration that distributes free condoms for the purpose of premarital sex (and at the same time forbids students to spend the night in each other's rooms) also believe in the legalistic tenet of order through fear and suspicion? Somehow I believe it all started in earnest under the Reich of Joy Kaplan, whose illegal winter break room searches n t t t nr v 1 Fellow students, As it is proper in public matters to begin with old business before commencing with new, I will take the opportunity occasioned by my first message as President of the Delegate Council to inform you of what your elected representatives have been doing the last few months, and what I would like to see us do during the next few. A little over two months ago, the Delegate Council was discussing the legal procedure for filling vacant Council seats, when it became very apparent that the procedure called for by the Constitution, involving the election of ".Alternate" Delegates at the same time as "Regular" Delegates, was cumbersome and had not been followed for years. In light of this, President Taylor apprised us of the need to regularly study and revise the Polity's Constitution, and so the Council established a Committee on Constitutional Review. This Committee, which consisted of the Committee Chairman Erikk Geannikis, Billy Ladd-Cawthorne, Lord Thomas Burbridge, John Peterson, J\hx Kronberg, and myself, read the existing Constitution, proposed and debated possible changes to it, and produced what we thought was a better articulated and more concise document. We sought to preserve the gravity of the original document, and thus none of our changes were major. We simply codified those practices which had become custom, and eliminated those which had fallen into disuse, all the while maintaining its elemental structure. The amendments we drafted were collected and �President continued from front page Editors-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Shoshana Goldstein Features Editor Willis McCumber Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue ChrisAamo t Brian Jones Max Kronberg Jonathan Morgan Brianne Bell E rin Owens Aaron Brager Erin Callahan JenySalyer Matt Gates Judy Seeger Tobin Herringshaw Sean 'The Devil". Valles Tom Jacobs ATP Fo unded in 1980, the Gadf(y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 studen ts, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, me mber~ of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. J o hn's Santa Fe campus. O pinions expressed withi n are the the sole responsibility o f the author(s)and do not neccssarilly represent the opinions of the Garlf!J staff. T he Garlf!J reserves the righ t to accep t, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-p rovoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters o f 200 word s or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, p unctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Garlfb• is no t obligated to publish all submissions ami will no t print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions arc greatly p referred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 organized by the six of us into a revised document. T h e Co mmittee proposed that the Delegate Council amend the Constitution into the revised documen t, and the Delegate Council, in accordance with constitutional procedure, created a new Co mmittee on Con stitutional Am endments. A t th e e nd o f last s em ester, this Co mmittee's work had yet to be completed. In o rder to do so, we need the help of th e entire Polity. The Con stitution requires that, before the Delegat e Council may vote on any proposed amendment, at least two public meetings on it must be held. T hough this requirement would technically be met by hold ing regular Delega te Council meetings on the s ubj ect (since all Delega te Council m eetings are public), I think tha t the spirit of that provision requires u s to h ave a public conversation outside the formal trappings of the Delegate Coun cil's weekly meetings. With this in mind, upon the completion of the Amen dment Committee's work, there will be at least one meeting in th e Conversation Room to discu ss the changes. Our text will be the current Cons titution and the proposed new Constitution. I invite the entire Polity to join u s for this conversation, so that the decision the Council ultimately reaches w ill have been touched by the widest possible r an ge, both o f those whom it will affect, and those with a respon sible concern for the way in which o ur presen t decision s affect the next generation o f students a t this College. As for new business, the bulk of it is commonplace: We need t o pa ss thi s semes ter's budget, elec t freshmen representatives to the Student Committee on Instruction, and hear proposals fo r new clubs. The only novel item I am placing on our agenda at thi s time concerns the recent ac ts of va nd alism in Paca-Ca rro ll and G illiam . These ac ts betray a cowardice and disrespect for community which I can not abide, nor, I trust, could any civil person. Thankfully, such acts speak volumes about the kind of people who commit them, and demo n stra te clearly the ease with which an apt and applied intelligence might piece togeth er the identity of one so low as to ge t their kicks in this base, unima gin a tive fa shion. To speak even more plainly, and I am addressing the perpetrators of th ese ac t s, you are stupid and you wi ll be ca ug ht. To h asten thi s process, I am app ointing a special Committee o n Van d alism, which will be co-chaired by the n ew P olity A ttorney, E rikk Geannikis, and me. I ask the help o f a ny Polity m embers who might h ave information which would aid u s in d e termining who is responsible for these acts, and I would also welcome the particip ation of a ny wh o wish to be directly involved in th e inquiry. I h ave no doubt that those of you who have th e pride in yo ur school to join us w ill also h ave the ingenuity to e n sure our success. That being said, I am humbled to p reside over such a fine community, and I gladly share this responsibility with Secretary Chris Utter, Treasurer L.T. Burbridge, P olity Attorney Erikk Gean niki s, and the Delegate Council. But as with all Polities, gre at and sm all, it is the individual m emb ers, the ones wh o h o ld no office and choose to hold n o office, who do the hardes t wo rk of governm ent simply by obeying their con sciences and trusting in wh at is right. If we do thi s, everything will be fine. But my words are inadequate. To put it an other way, and to invoke as aid to myself and to us all o ne whose words have never b een inadequate, I quote Pro spero: "Be collected." . THE GADFLY . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . Th a nk yo u, Brian Jon es The authors ofJEWS' CLUES, the only advice column written by two, but not one, jews, has informed us that their differences h ave been resolved and they will continue their column in the nex t 2 weeks. Please, if you need advice on any issue, please, for the love of all th at is holy, send your question to: MAX KRONBERG CAMPUS MAIL We guarantee a response to all questions. �Twilight Zone continued from front page state of l\-faryland to inspect a tenant's dwelling without written notification of the exact date and time, and the opportunity for the tenant to be present at the time of the inspection. But I digress. So, why on earth would St. John's want to create an even more hostile atmosphere in the dorms of our college? Would it somehow benefit us as a community if on-campus students had even more disdain for their roommates? I'm going to go out on a limb and say, "no". Perhaps it sounds like a good idea, and more importantly a good P.R. move (our college officials are not above this, folks), to make an example of some poor schmuck who happens to room with some stoner who likes to make some extra cash on the side. But the realities of dorm life remain, and perhaps those \Vho have not lived in a dorm in the last few decades have forgotten those inescapable realities. Dorm life is all about compromise and not asking questions, all for the purpose of maintaining a habitable living situation based in the cramped reality that is on-campus life. J'vfy first freshman roommate is an excellent example of the necessity of these principles. 1 returned to my room after class every day, and at least one day of each week I would find my roommate staring at a ... nonprogram ... piece of literature and practicing the art of self-love. "Did you confront him?" you might ask. F--k no! I went on pretending he was just adjusting his underwear and he went on pretending he had something better to do. This is the way of the dorm. If you hear a midnight rustling in the room while your roommate's significant other is visiting, you just roll over and recite the Greek alphabet to yourself. If you see some beer in your dorm fridge you don't go calling 911. These sorts of duties belong to R.A.'s. These social norms are how people who would rather be in single rooms live with each other. It's bad enough having to worry that your roommate may know your sex life a little too well alld has an alarm clock that goes off at some ungodly hour. To ask much more of on-campus folks, i.e. monitoring their roommates' moral actions, is simply asking too much. What's more, having a mandatory narcing rule is a violation of privacy in the same way that the FBI bugging your room is a violation of privacy. Just look at the justifications. Legalistic a-holes will say, "It shouldn't bother you if you're not doing anything illegal." Well, that argument is at best stupid, and at worst a case of willful ignorance. This is because the problem is not ridding our campus of impermissible actions. Those actions will always exist, and even the most cursory supervision by designated authorities can control widespread negative behavior at a school of under 500 students. No, this is about civility. Anyone who thinks that this type of punishment is in any way conducive to a civil society has left some serious practical considerations out of their reasoning. I would like to apologize for the fervor of this article, I know it will offend some people, and I wish nothing of the sort. I simply cannot believe that such poorly founded and logically deficient reasoning could actually strike a community that does almost nothing but consider and discuss these sorts of matters. The Perils if Gambling Dear l\fembers of the Polity, Last spring an arrest of students at Anne Arundel Community College brought to our attention the need to make sure any college event that includes gambling is conducted in accordance \vith state and county laws. :l'vir. Aamotand I are working with the Reality archons to make it possible for Lola's to go on as we know and love it. l\.Jeanwhile, I would like to bring to your attention our lawyer's reply to my question about the rules regarding poker games. I quote: ''With regard to tl1e poker club, Anne Arundel County prohibits any person (including a qualified organization) from conducting a casino event, which includes card games played for cash. A different State-wide statute also provides that a person may not bet, wager or gamble, among other things. Thus a pOker game, played for money, is unlawful. The College should not sponsor or sanction such a game or club." Security, therefore, is required to shut down· any poker game phyed for money and to report the names of players to me. Sincerely, Judy Seeger Letterfrom Santa Fe Dear Gadfly, As editor of thel\1oon over here in Santa Fe (you know; the other other St. John's), I'tn one of the few members of this campus community who gets to pass his eyes over the Gadf!y with any frequency. When I read 11r. Utter's article (Issue 15 "An Interview wid1 Roger :rviartin") at lunch today, I was excited by the prospect that J'vfr. 1-fartin's presence on your campus could lead to more positive, main~ stream exposure for St. John's, as well as curious to read any insights the President might have into the character ofoureccenti:iclittle school Like J\fr. Utter, I was struck when J\fr. l\1artin declared that Johnnies are "very similar" to students from other liberal arts schools--even Harvard (ack.~--''despite the curricultun." Surely, I d10ught, we are different from them. Better, in fact, undoubtedly better, albeit in a somewhat intangible and esoteric sense. Judging by the tone of the final paragraph of 11r. Utter's article he, like me, was put a bit on the defensive by J'vfr. J\fartin's statement. But then I got to thinkin': why am I so attached to this dogma of St. John's Exceptionalism? So attached that on hearing from a man who is both d1e president of a liberal arts college and a member of the St. John's community that we Johnnies are a lot like other college students (at least, the 'best of them'), my first, visceral impulse is to reject, rather than listen and question. The justification for St. John's Exceptionalism that J\'fr. Utter makes in the concluding paragraph~that Johnnies don't always do well elsewhere and that people from Harvard might not do well here~is cer~ tainly 'common knowledge' around these parts, but it's poorly documented; I, at least, haven't ever seen the statistics. Of course, this was the same justification I made to myself upon first reading J\fr. Martin's 'inflammatory' statement. We've all read the glossy pamphlets put out by our respective PR offices, which assert the singular benefit of a St. John's education. J\Jr. Utter claims "we must... have some unique and defining characteristic that makes our being Johnnies more than just a name" and I agree with him. But maybe l\-fr. _Martin's insights will help us define what that characteristic is, and what it isn't. Do we object to his observations out of the fear that we might not be quite as exceptional as we fancy ourselves to be? Sincerely, Jonathan Morgan (SF '05) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �THEMATIC AS A MAD NARCOTIC The Unifying Principle by Erin Callahan l\Jusicians from P. Diddy to The Dixie Chicks were supposed to dramatically increase turnout among college age voters in this past election. When the votes were tallied, and fewer than 10 percentofvoterswere 18 to 24 year-old-about the same percentage as voted in 2000- many pundits threw up their hands and declared that young people are hopelessly disengaged polit:i~ cally. But voting has never been the way most college age persons express their interest in politics. .Historically, college students have been much more politically effective outside of the electoral arena than inside. Though they don't like to admit it, politician~ even popular Presidents, are very sensitive to student activism. Students have played a critical role in making Presidents do d'lings they were previously reluctmt to do. In the 1960s, college students played a critical role ingettingJohnR Kennedy to back the Civil Rights Movement Atfirs~Kennedywasreluctant to overtly supporttheCivi!RightsMovementbecausehefeared alienating Southern Democrats. But students led the effort to force Kennedy's hand. Sit-ins aimed at encoumgingintegration o~public places were started by four students in Greensboro, North Carolina. TheFreedomRiders, who were predominately students, gained Kennedy's support in the form of Federal protection as they rode through the Deep South. :More recently, students also played a critical role in the 1980s anti-Apartheidmovemen~ the struggle to end tl1e racist regime in South Africa. In the early 1980s,PresidentReganrefused to impose sanctions on South Africa's White regime. Meanwhile, many college Presidents and Boards of Trustees were reluctant to divest stock holdings in South African companies. But student protests forced 119 American universities to divest from South Africa. Student involvement contributed to the massive re- buke that the then Republican controlled Senate paid to President Regan by oveniding his veto ofSouth Afuc.m sanctions. So why haven't today's students had that same kind ofimpact? The problem, despite the conventional punditry; is not that college students aren't politically involved. The difficultly is that college students haven't taken joint action in support of a single, easily identifiable cause. Campus activism is flourishing, but it has had muted effect because students have joined splintered 4 causes. Take VassarCollege,forinstmce 11Ussmall schoolof2,400 students has over 100 student organizations, many ofwhich are politically focused from Hooger Action, to a \VQmen's rights group, d1eB!ackStudeut Union, toanenvironmentll!group. Though groups like these have their success stories, none would claim to have been part of something that had major, national impact. The solution is simple: students should band together around one cause. Buttl1e obstacle to this is also obvious. Few would want to stop working on the issue most important to them and throw their support behind someone else's pet cause. If students joined together around the issue of money in politics, few would have to give up their pet issue. Money in politics negatively affects virtually all of the issues students care deeply about. Getting private money out of politics would jump start many stalled political causes. Want to stop polluters? How can you in a political system where big business Q.e. those who pollute) out spend environmentalists 50 to 1 in campaign contributions that control the political agenda? Want to increase political diversity? How can we in a system where people ofcolor give less than 5% of political contributions, and women give less than 20%? Want to increase the minimum wage to a living'-vage? How will that ever happen when big businesses out spend labor unions 14 to 1 in campaign contributions? Not only is getting big money out of politics in the interest of student activists, it is in the interest of students directly. Politicians too often ignore student concerns because students don't pose a political threat. They don't vote in high numbers, and they don't give campaign contributions. California, for instance, has built 25 prisons in the last 25 years, but only one new university. This seems to defy logic as the crime rate has gone down, and student enrollments have ballooned. But politicians aren't responding to logic, they are responding to contributors. The prison guard union is one of the state's more powerful lobbying groups, backed by millions of dollars in campaign contributions. 1-.feanwhile, students give almost nothing to cam- by Aaron Brager co6 Staff Writer I have spent over a year working on this poem. As you may be aware, lots of junk email comes with gibberish sentence fragments at the end of the message to avoid automatic deletion by junk e-mail detectors. Each line from this poem (and the title of the poem) is from a separate advertisement. I have only made spelling, capitalization, and punctuation changes. Besides that, my arduous, tiring job has consisted of collecting junk e'-mails, extracting fragments, and ordering them appro- priately. 1be lingering souvenir, His eye gleaming through parallel lost steps Into manners oflonger reference, Scintillating your sponsored candlelight; Physiognomy covered with black Obstinacy into juxtaposition; does an Erect caucus restrict a rattlesnake awry with arson? J\Iystics correspondin' in Glasgow. ..with finetricked cardboard?! Intellect seeks its fourth dimension! Shiv your tangent to cubic equilibrium, And achieve amazing results! Jacob hydrates as virile archers in loincloths ask Of his month of wild abandon. "Khakass Autonomous Region," he replies. "Even if you ain't runnin' game, say my name; say my name." paigns. Students and student activists should demand an end to this system of legalized bribery. Voting is essential, but often the classroom, the cafeteria, the newspapers, even the street if necessary, will do even better to make change happen. For more information, please visit www.democracymatters.org. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Subscribe to the Gadfly Second Semesterfor on!J $15I Send requests to: The Gadfly St. Johns College POBox2800 Annapoli~ MD 21401 �The Ozymandian Candidate by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer I now work for a news wire transcription service, spending long hours immersed, via headphones, in the I\,fatrix: CNN interviews, White House briefings, etc. An ironic position, for me-penance, perhaps, for my political inefficacy. I just have to sit d1ere like a naughty Greek in Tartarus, and type, and take it, while the president annonnces: \Veil, we got some challenges, like the fact that some say we are just trying to make every cmmtry in th_e world look just like America. (I await his rebuttal, to explain why that is a false accusation ... and I wait. .. and wait ... and am still waiting.) And J'vlr. Kerry, venting postelection spleen on the Senate floor, sermonizing on family values, the Bible's real message, and solemnly calling everyone "my brothers" in a monotone that makes me anticipate a rendition of "Sinners in the Hands of . A.11 Angty God." But I kid-I am not complaining, really. It's a straightforward job, it pays well, my coworkers are great, and my typing speed has shot up dramatically...A.nd I learn. One challenge to taking our politics seriously is its severance of words from reality. ''Liberal", today, can apply to one who carefully keeps ali thoughts inside-the-Box of P.C.-orthodoxywhile ranting, Green Day-style, against the homophobic, Bambi-killing rednecks who cost the Tolerance Party the election. Look "liberal" up in \Vebster's, and compare. It is today employed much as the Sicilian in "Princess Bride" employs "inconceivable". As the Spaniard observes: You kipp usink that hewordI do not think it minns ... hewhat you think it m1nns. And "conservative'' now denotes taking treasure and blood from local communities to promote a Trotskyite scheme of global revolution. I suspect that a perfectly righteous man (I'm guessing, I have not met one) would be neither conservative nor liberal; rather, He would be both. But it is hard for us to discern how to be either, for language has been raped. Words haVe been stripped from the truths they signify, to make good-intention bricks for a dystopian road. "1984" is not a novel of prophetic waming-1984 came and went, 21 years ago. "The time for diplomacy is now," repeats Rice over and over, like an animatron. Just as she once repeated, "\Ve know that Saddam Hussein is attempting to acquire nuclear weapons:" smoking-gun, mushroom-cloud, be vety afraid. Sure, the time for diplomacy is now-and since war is peace, let's bring it on. The missing-link relic Senator Byrd of\\!V illustrates modern paradoxes. I wonder whether youthful Democrats like him muchhe does not present a sleek, hip postmodem image. An elderly male WASP with a hillbillyaccent, he is far more "Red-state" -ish in persona than the Straussian think-tankers rurullng the White House. And the sentiments heappeals to, in opposing the war, are far more conservative than the arguments for it. rviost anti-war polemics carry a pacifist strain, or reverence for the U.N. and the socialistic New \Vorld Order---one expects tl1e speaker to invoke Her Beatitude Eleanor Roosevelt. \\lhereas Byrd's speech mannerisms (mannerisms rapidly going extinct, replaced by vulgar or generic televisionese in our diverse society) are a preposterously delightful hoot to listen to. Of course I admit I am biased, because I agree with his Iraq position- and more importantly, how he puts it. I paraphrase: "One of the ... chief aw-thus of the ... Ah-tee-kuls of Cawn-fed'rayshun, ~Iistah ]awn Dick'nsun, once sed: 'In these mattahs, Ex-peeryuns must be owah gad; foh Ree-sun may lead us as trey.' Way-ul, Ah, fuh wtm, would rathuh trust the ... expeeryuns of owah ... Foundin' Fa-thus, rathuh than the ... Ree-sun, and 'comm'n seeyuns' (harrumph, harrumph), of this admin'strayshun, which hus seen fit to commit owah nayshun to the ... bellij'rent, bellycose, an' mos' dan'jrous pah-licy of... pre- empt've wah." Not Cicero, but more fun. (And as difficult, maybe, as Latin). But I get the sense that most in \Vashington mistake it for Olympus, and themselves, for benevolent demigods-but tl1ey forget that the Greek deities' benevolence frequently turned ugly and capricious toward mortals (I imagine such caprice was rooted in immortals' detadunent from mortals' inevitable date with Death-but tills is not one of my pop-theology essays, so I leave it at that). This sense is a mere intuition, not a proof, and you may discount it as amusingly-composed, paranoiac babble; but forwhatit's worth I think the life-struggles of everyone in tl1e world are now seen, subconsciously, as mere tableau for Senator X or Congressman Y to pose upon. "To be Hamlet you must be in the D.C. court-everyone else is a mere John Rosencrantz or Jane Guildenstern. 'The real world exists only within the Beltway-witl1 wormhole-links to 1\-Ioscow, London, Paris, Berlin." I don't care if rulers tend to believe this-probably they always have, and will. \\!hat worries me is that John and Jane, glued to Fox News Reality-T\~ now tend to believe it-when tl1ey have crosses of their own to bear, and joys of their own, to savor. In a tl10usand years, tl1e iunerican Empire may sit side-by-side witl1 Rome in the history texts. I propose that the woman moaning in a delivery room is closer to reality, eternity, than crusaders for child-legislation from either party-the woman is closer to her struggle, Candidate continued on page 7 The Food Committee will meet on Fridqy, February 11, at noon in the PDR The Directorrf the Dining Hall and other college stqff members will be on hand to hearyour thoughts, opinions, complaints, praises, etcetera, on thefood service here at St. John's. Join us! ChrisAamot Director rf StudentServices ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' . ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' THE GADFLY ' 5 �All Tomorrow's Parties Greetings festive Johnnies. After being silenced for months by the FCC antiobscenity crackdown following last year's super bowl, ALL TOMORROW'S PARTIES is now back on the airwaves, this time in dazzling Technicolor! Sing to me J\fuse, the night of many drinks ... Friday's forecast called for very cold weather, with ATP's top meteorologist reporting a 99% chance of cloudy memories. While all of Naptown prepared for the big snow, yours truly tried tO cope by "going tropical": six Cuba Libres and a Margarita courtesy of the fine folks downtown at Armadillo's. With drink numero siete hitting me like a senseless drug subplot in a bad 80's com- edy, imagine my surprise and delight when I stepped into Caesar's Palace on East Street, and found that all of Hollywood had turned out for the main event: a knock~down drag-out fight in the center ring between heavyweight (drinker) Here's Waldo and overweight champion 1Jr. 1fonthly. The casino floor was packed shoulder to shoulder; it was clear to me from the intensity in the air that the New Program, a.k.a. Western Civilization's hundred greatest reasons to drink, had gotten everyone ready to rumble, and perhaps to tumble as well. Seniors were just two weeks away from the big deadline, juniors two weeks from attempting to beat in their own heads with a hardbound copy of the Prindpia, sophomores were two weeks away from the end of Theology, and Freshman two weeks away from finally losing their virginity to my skeevy downstairs neighbor. But we know what all you ATP readers are wondering: just who was there, and what designers were they wearing. So here it 1s, you bloody savages ... sophomore I\.fr. Just-da-sh*t and company were holding court at the baccarat tables on the patio while gorgeous Ms. DreamWeaver schmoozed with I\Jr. !-Believe-You-Can-Get-Me-Through- Night. Ms. Clarity and Baby Beat charmed interlocutors with hip~if-not~quite-au~ dible-bon-mots, while the lvlan of Gold and His Lad did their best to act like they weren't at a party. They, and plenty of people I.don't know, took up space and Hey, Natalie! The.re'sthis amazing new comic book .shop on Francis Street right <Jff of Church Circle. It's called Alien Head Comics, and it's the best store. in the history of forever! Green They have comic books. back issues. toys, c1JIIectable card g<llli<S. collectable mini:s, trade paper backs. and the most coolest shopkeeps ever! 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ......... . drank beer without doing anything in particular to interest me. And now, for our main event ... bigger than the Thrilla in I\hnilla, the grudge match I spoke of earlier. Security for the event was handled by a fellowship of like six or seven Do bits, and a special appearance was made by some celebrity alumni: world champion bull rider Wild Will and star of the hit film "Lost in Libation" Mr. Abel. UnfortUnately, this reporter made the mistake of drinining way to much from the keg of beer that the hotel owners generously provided, so for a blow by blow account of the battle, you'll have to tune in to HBO. In my semi-conscious state, it seemed like it wasn't that time for lvh. Monthly. Coming up in NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE: Lola's previews, a study of why Gentleman's clubs are rarely that, and the top ten reasons not to drink drinks that are lit on fire before being served, and probably some other stuff. �Candidate continued from page 5 and has more intimate knowledge regarding what it will actually produce. Yes, government generates order rl1rough which life unfolds. But it seems as if some think we owe our very being- cultural, economic, metaphysical- to the grace of \Vashington. I envision the new global-citizen woman praying, as she eyes her garden: It is by the State that we thrive and are protected from Terror, without it we are as lost sheep, amen. Thank the Beltway-gods, the tomatoes came out good this year. Take, for example, the Democratic economic spirit. Ifa man is poor, he is beloved-but should he attain success, via work or good luck, the Godfather appears. "Now you owe us. \Ve made you. Thanks to us, and us alone, you went from a pizzadelivery guy to a pizzeria-owner. Pay us what you owe us." Now, I am not arguing against welfare, graduated or capital-gains taxes, etc. ~I don't claim to know about any particular measure which may or may not be good and true. What I am arguing against is not a particular measure, but a perilously false generalization: "Concern for the poor negates justice; one may, with self-satisfied impunity, take anything from the haves- so long as one is acting in the name of the haveoats." I submit it is always the would-be taker upon whom the burden of proof lies, not the would-be keeper. The idea that charity is an owed debt to be demanded- rather than freely-chosen- is poison to the soul. Neither liberal-hearted generosity nor justice can thrive on ultimatums from demagogic compassionazis. And the benefits for the poor who learn to cast votes in resentment of the rich is far outweighed by the long-term harm to their hearts, and society: The resentment-genie was freed from the bottle prior to both the Russian and French revolutions (again, not denying that callousness and decadence helped yank the stopper). Republicans prefer blood-taxes to mammon-taxes, and assume divine right to send soldiers to die. Patria is exploited, along with the healthy drive to prove courage, so as to promote whatever latest pet-project neocons excitedly chatter about, in little quasi-elitist masonic cliques during d1e cocktail hour at a mover-and-shaker black-tie affair. Again, it is perversion that burden of proof has today been placed on the dove, to prove love-of-country, rather than on the hawk that hankers to take that country to war. A foreign dictator is a potential threat to a people-hammering that people into a social phalanx for a series of unending foreign wars is a certain threat. President Bush, Wolfowitz,Ledeen, and the rest of them get misty at the thought of Iraqis voting. Probably Democrats do, too. Delegates present: Ms. Lockard, Mr. LaddI don't, myself, but my feelings aren't the Cawthom, lv!r. Jones, Mr. Utter, Mr. Kronberg, point-nor are anyone else's. The point is Ms Nelson, Ms Tyler, Mr. Mellaney, Ms. Young, that those sent to Iraq are sworn to support 1vfr. Sullivan, :Mr. Singer, lvfr. Burbridge, J\Jr. and defend the cOnstitution, period. Not Brager, 1-fs. Branner. _1\.fr Remero, 1v1r. Gannon, march to a militant version of Lennon's Mr. Coppadge, Ms. l\.fangum, and Ms. "Imagine", nor ensure Nike has the right to Cortright were absent. _1\.fr. Geannikis was also sell shoes in the Arab world. Nor wage revo- present. lution till we have absolutely secure, abso12:00: ]\Jr. Jones called the meeting to order lutely free, global utopia. The only polity and aSked for a treasurer's report. residing in a state of absolute security- and 12:01: Mr. Jones proposed Mr. Geannilis absolute freedom from impositions- are for tl1e post of Polity Attorney. A discussion not able tell us much about it. Not without followed of lvir. Geannikis's qualifications. the aid of a witch's ouija board, anyhow. 12:04: J\-Ir. Jones motioned to vote immeBut back to words-in politics, as in lit- diately, many seconded. erary criticism, under postmodernism words 12:05: The vote resulted in twelve yeas and are regarded as whatever the reader wants to two abstentions. see. The actual intent of the Constitution12:07: 1\Jr. Jones proposed a discussion of or of Paradise Lost-is dismissed. Belief the committee on vandalism. Mr. Singer asked in truth, the only foundation for dialogue what the committee would do. J\1r. Jones reor promises, is abandoned. sponded that it would serve as someone to For pragmatists, the supreme arrogance tell instead of the administration when an act of foisting the Now on the Then, of thrust- of vandalism had been committed. ing our world view on an author, may seem 12:15: lvfembers of the aforementioned harmless- when limited to Art. But con- committee were designated: :Mr. Laddsider "real things"- politics, and war: Oaths Cawthorn, :rvrr. Brager, 1\,fr. Utter, J\.1r. Singer, either mean what they say, or they mean Mr. Sullivan, Ms. Lockard, Mr. Kronberg, Mr. nothing at all. If we make men take oaths ]\.fellaney, J\.Ir. Jones. so as to hand them guns or nuclear firing 12:20: A discussion of the Committee on codes or surveillance programs, then prag- Constitutional Amendments was held, and it matism, if not principle, should foster in- was decided there would be a member-only terest in preserving integrity of language. meeting to start out d1e semester. Whenever, at work, I realize I'm reflect12:33: l'vir. Burbridge moved to vote on the ing too gloomily on these matters, I do one double representation issue. A discussion folof two things-! either crank up the speed lowed on the pros and cons of having one on the transcript audio feed, and listen to a person serve two positions. :Mr. Jones sugpanel of adorable, irate chipmunks argue gested that we should not need to vote on this about Social Security. Or I take the issue. Several delegates asked what we would president's inaugural address, and use Find/ be voting on. Mr. Burbridge responded that it Replace to play Substitute-Tangible-Words- would not be a vote but a statement of the In-Place-of-Overused-Undefined-Abstrac- council's opinion. tions. The former exercise helps me to see 12:54: The pseudo-vote/opinion thingy men- most importantly, myself included- ensued, resulting in eight yeas, one nay, and as we are: usually so very absutdly earnest about four abstentions. ]\:fr. Geannikis gave his· opinthe wrong things for the right reasons, or the ion since this was not a vote. lvfs. Young was right things for the wrong reasons. absent for this issue. The latter exercise is a game that all [raisin 12:55: l'v!r. Jones adjourned the meeting. muffins]-loving people should be [cleanshaven] to enjoy, as they celebrate the blessings of [raisin muffins]. D.C. Minutes for 1.26.05 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �Twachtman's Winter Harmony by Brianne Bell John H. Twachtman painted this work of his home in Greenwich, Connecticut at the tum of the 19th century. Twachtman was part of a western reaction to impressionism. The term impreJsio11ism was coined by a critic who ob- impressionists, he used an older technique of overlapping nearly dry paint, called scumbling, to create depth and the illusion of light. \Ve can see this in tl1e snow, trees, and the creek, which do not consist of many strokes of clifferent colors next to each other, but of many layers of different hues tlut fade in and out. served that a group of paintings in a small show outside the Academy in Paris depicted light, people, and the movement of real life as an impression. Post-impressionists took this notion further, painting not just impressions of what they saw, but impressions of what they felt. German expressionists poured pain and brooding out on to their canvases with dark, bold colors and shatp lines, while the French Fauves conveyed raw excitement and vivacity wid1 bright, contrasting splotches of color. Twachtman's style, like that of his American contemporaries Whistler and Sergeant, differs from tl1e European reaction. Unlike the Winter Harmony is on display at the National Gallery of Art, and prints are posted around the school. Twachtman uses only soft, dull colors, mainly light brown, white, a deep grey-blue, and a msty omnge. T11e blue and the orange are complimentary, balancing the composition, and causing the white snow to jump out at us. No color is limited to a given object in the painting. The snow is prima.rily white, but because of the scumbling, it has undertones of blue and orange and brown. TI1e trees and the water are also composed of these colors. Twatchman's use of scumbling and color serve to affect a calm and balanced whole, making the title, JVinter Hdi7Jiotry, quite apt. 1he feeling of harmony and serenity is exactly the impression Twatchman wanted to convey, as we can see in a letter he wrote to a friend after moving to his home in Connecticut: "Never is nature more lovely than when it is snowing... That feeling of quiet and all nature is hushed to silence." tHit~~~Sf- ' LA$1'"~ IIIM.ftll T~l~ 'lb ~'n~ ~~ '1'\16 CJII.C.4 ~ ~1'-l'\JO!,)<, P,"llt'U~1'S ,lic)W WIT'II 1.1)Ct£TIVI ""''"'•"" A 8 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �6}41'!J1 s: Your choke of tortil!<. Bour, spinach, sun dried tomato, or wh""t Veggle .............~ .....~............. $3.50 (All the SlUFF you want) Burrito ...................................... $3.95 (Beans, rlce, cheddar, salsa) Tuna ................. - ......- .......... $3.95 B.L.T. ............................................ $3.95 Ham ..- ............- ...... - .......... $3.95 ~tU,-1'{' Hours: am til 1Opm 7 Days a Week On the City Dock In Historic AnnapoUs, =nss from the Harbor Master Building Phone:410-263-3049 fax: 410-263-3075 eJ The Hrst five are free 'JJ then add 504 ea. Green Peppers Sweet Peppers Carro is Bean Sprouls lettuce Tomato Onion Mushrooms Slack Olives (Ham, capocollo, salami) Club~ ................................- ........ $1!.95 (Bacon, turl<ey, ham) ~pecial~tuff Sour Cream ........ ..................... .50¢ Guacamole ................................ $1.00 Hummus .................................... $1.00 Avocado .................................... $1.00 ruce Cucumber lllack Beans Turl<.ey ........................................ $3.95 Roast Beef ..................- ....._ $3.95 Chi C1 ten ...................................... $1!.50 Italian .........- .............................. $1k.50 Broccoli ~heeJeFetaOnly American Jack Cheddar ~afad5 Garden .........- ..................- ..... $ 3.50 Mixed greens, tomato, carrots, red onloo. cucumber, mushroom> Greek Salad .............. ._ ......... $3.50 Mixed greens. red onion, blild< olives, fcla d1eese, cucumber Gal Wrapldn ..................- .... $4.95 Hum· Weggie .......................... $3.95 Chicken, Cappacolo, Provolone, lettuce, tomato. oolon. mayo, hol:s, (8 Items) In a Bour tortlfla. Hummus, black beans, lettuce, tomato, onion. mushrooms, In a sun dried tomato torlllla. Hail Caesar .........- ......_ ........$4.50 Roast Beast ......... _ .............. $4.50 Roost beef, Monterey fod< cheese, Caesar Salad ...... ~·····~ .......$3.50 Romaine, gr.tted Parmesan, fre,h ground pepper, hint of lemoo. Caesar dressing, garlic croutons Chicktmeckl3r ................- ..... $5.50 Chlck:;<ln Caesar .................... $1!.95 ~Olf!'J Mal)lland Vegetable Crab ............ $3.95 Cream of Crab ............................ $4.50 lettuce, tomato, mushrooms, mayo. a hint of hQnie1adish, In a Hour tortilla. Ctab meat. chk:ken, lettuce. tomato, tartar sau<e, a hint a Old Bay, In a Bour tortilla. Tun acado ..... - ...................- ... $1!.60 Tuna. avocado, tomato, lettuce, balsamic vinaigrette. In a whole wheat tortilla. Dijon Ham ...._ ........................ $4.50 Ham, Sw!>s cheese, lettu<:e, tomato. mushrooms. Dljon mustard. In a whole wheat tortilla. Pasta Salad .....................................90¢ Potato Salad ...................................90¢ Cole Sl.lw .......................................90¢ Chips ............................................... 90¢ ~moothieJ 16oz $2.50 • 24oz $3.50 Mango • Orange • Peach • Plna Colada Rdspberry • Strawberry • Strawberry Banana • Wildberry Provolone SWiss ~i:Jnature riJ;fl;ty.Js Chicken, lettuce, tomato, shredded Parmesan, Caesar dressing, In a ftour tortilla. Add slice, ol chld<en to our Caesar salad 5()¢ more Weggie .............- ...... c................. $3.95 l'rovolone cheese, lettuce. tomato. mushrooms, sweet peppers. carrol:s, oolons, oil and vioegor. In a spinach tortilla. Grecian_ ........- ....- .............. $4.50 Gyro, !eta cheese, lettuce, black olives, tzatzlkl sauce, In a spinach tortilla. Cheswrapeak.e .......- ......... $5.50 Shrimp, dams, crabmeat, Imitation lobster and scallops with a creamy Old Bay Sauce, In a Bour tortilla. &mlfPJ PB&J .......................................... $2.50 P...nut butter and Jelly wrapped In a 10 Inch Hour tortilla. Cheesy Chiclten .......- .......... $2.95 Chlcl<en with melted Monterey Jack :DnnkJ Peps! Diet Pepsi . . . . . . . . . . cheese In a 10 Inch Hour tortilla. tooz .7s4 • 24oz .95¢ Mountain Dew Dr. Pepper Sierra Mist Ired Tea Lemonade Bottled Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �Who Will Run the Gadfly? Shoshana Goldstein and Christopher Utter will retire at this time next year. They need to be replaced because they are old. Come to the Gadfly meeting this Tuesday at 5 in BBC 109 if you are interrested in any of the following: Layout (especially) College History Intramural Sports Writing of any kind By the way, we also need regular columnists in the subjects mentioned above for the remainder of this year. 10 . . . . : . THE G ADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �"for a poet is an airy thing, winged and holy, and he is not able to make poetry until he becomes inspired and goes out of his mind and his intellect is no longer in him. As long as a human being has his intellect in his possession h~ will lack the power to make poetry or sing prophesy." -Socrates Stop Thinking, Start Plaving. Come join the all ne~ DATE DUE St. John's College ImprovClub Saturday, 4pm, Dance Studio Questions, contact Arthur Allen or Geremy Coy in campus mail. . 11 . . . .. . . . . . .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. T HE GADFLY . : . . . �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Gates, Herringshaw, Jacobs Write Self-Referential Article, Amuse Only Themselves By Gates, Herringshaw, and Jacobs I twas rain that dt:ove the three young men, one of them perhaps not so young, into the crowded din of tl1e coffee shop. Rain and self-loatlling It was the kind ofrain that sends little eddies of cigarette butts in a great cascade dmvn the tree-lined walkway that leads up front campus to 1\.fcDowell. It was the kir1d of self-loathing that is brought forth fium the soul in the form of unbearable irony. I twas the kind ofimny that flies out in every direction biting friend and fOe alike. Their aim was dear and distinct to create another edition of the most self-referential string of inside jokes ever imposed upon the polity of St. John's College through the Ga4f!y. Thls was going to be bigger than the homoerotic, Episcopalian Jew} Clews, much longer than the short-lived 16 East Column and more uncut than Nick Colton's endless, self-pe!petuatingpolirical "debate''. 1be three boys had big dreams, and boys can dream, can't they? Lord knows d1eywere only hying not to take themselves so F-ing serious!}~ Oearl)~ the endeavor was doomed to fail as grandly as Ian Morochnick's senior essay: It began as ustu'll with a series of unpmvoked ad hominim at- tacks. ''Tob, 1986 called, they\vanttheirjacket back," spoke Gates. ''But he needs to cover his scars;' retortedJacobs. Herringshaw began to cry bittedy, overwhelmed by the sudden memories of surgical masks and the inadequate solace of a 1989 N:intendo system. He choked back the tears and bshed out atJacobs. ''I may cover my scars, but at least I don't cover my receclinghairlii1ewith a dirty turban." Jacobs could only respond, ''Yeah, well CenJeta didn't complain bst nigbt while I feed her tl1e hot tamale" In a torrent ofguffaws and knee sbpping, Gates made his presence felt. Jacobs, finding himselfno longer the object ofvindictive bughter, seized tl1e opportunity. 12 "I'm sorry, the ambiguously Amish dub is down the hall." Gates, prepared for this after so many Amish jokes, returned with, '~\ctually, that room is reserved for Madame Bell's chamber of whips and chains:' Jacobsknewhe'dbeenem;u;culated.sol-lerringshaw jmnped in with the quip, "Well it certairlly isn't the rehearsal room for Sgt. Pepper's Socially Awkward Club.'' Finding the taste of real life too bitter, Gates proposed they tum toward fictional scenarios in which real people did and said ficrional things that were truly appropriate to their respective dm.racters. Ideas came into being and passed into oblivion, like so many gnats colliding on the windshield ofCh:nlie Arnot's car, racingdownRoweBoulevard as tl10ugh it were the Indianapolis 500. An attractive woman walked passed carrying-the . Aristotle's On the Gmcmtion if Alllina/s, and Posten"or Anajytics, momentarily distracting tl1e young virile men. "I tis so twelve o'clock, time fora meal," spouted Herringshmv. "Definitely Newton 1.14," saidJacobs, "because I can sheady feel tl1e centripetal force fiom that as11Dnomical body." Gates said simply, ''Not no Land-O-Lakes, not no margarine, simply butter... simply hardcore butter." 1\fatthius Von Reinstein (any resemblance to a member of the senior cbss is purely accidental) swaggered past. 1he room shook. All three having perceived the form of the female muse, theytumedinwardtorendertheiraffectations of spirit into the stilted lines of inspired poesy. Herringshaw, finding the way through his inner emotional battlefield littered ,yjth empty six packs of Corona, put forth a suggestion, ''Let's set :it in \lietnam." ''Yeah, and make the characters fall:in.love with irruginarypeople;' saidJacobs, a wistful fog clouding the dark pupils ofh:is eyes. '~'\nd they can spend most of the plot writing middle-schoolish love letters," shouted Gates, obviously proficient at writing sud1letters. ''That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, Gates," snipped Jacobs at his spandex--dad engine room friend. Gates shouted back, "Yesh? Well at least I've never humped the door to Humphrey's common room while emitting throaty Wookie noises!" Jacobs, all his ire and manhood kindled and his dander up, believed he was actually Adillles for a brief moment as he threw the first punch. His fist bnded in tl1e bushy excuse for a beatd that Gates had been growing in order to shave for his post senior essay soiree. Jacobs's fist completely submerged into the wiry forest ofthe beard, rendering :it ineffecttL'll. Gates, being a man of many resources, grabbed the nearest hunp and smashed it overJacobs's balding pate. Jacobs R>lmditnecess:n:y to finally reveal his latest Christmas present, and withdrew a Star Wars light saber from beneath his leatherjacket Hedt:ewbackhisarmandswungthe lightsaberatGates, but Gates had otherpbns th:n1 dying at that moment, as he pulled out the Inspirational Oar and soundly paddledJacobs on his supple buttocks, raising a tenific crimson welt and causing Jacobs to shriek like a shrewish woman. At that moment the campus secwity aniveChvith their guns drawn to calm the friendly banter. Apparently Herringshaw had sleep-studied his compatriots. 1\Jany would read what had been written that da)l fewwould get:n1y of the joke~ and most would finditpuzzling and vaguely offensive Gates would attempt to quote lines from it in daily conversation, so as to add anotherlevcl of self-aggt~ndizement to the project Herringshawwould continue to write about the injustices of aging faster than everyone else. Time would continue to move forward, there would come a day when the halls of St. Jolm's College would remember nothing of the authors. But somewhere, deep in the vaults of thelibr:ny, the outward funu of the joviality that they had shared that daywouldlinger on, like a sphinx dozing at the bottom of the hazy Sahara, oblivious to the heedless world. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 16.5 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-02-01 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 16.5 of The Gadfly. Published February 1, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.16 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/66293c9a8f97e1b5bf18a643c28b6dbd.pdf e79f7266204f5854e7a561e1bab94228 PDF Text Text L T hiiiii~!Jil~ GADFLY ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY The St. john} College Student Week[y Volume XXVI, Issue 17 Annapolis, Maryland Hbruary 15, 2005 Arasteh: New Career Service Director by Will McCumber Staff Writer Used Book Store Graces Historic District by Max Socol Staff Writer The bookstore seems at first hardly even that. At one room, with a small addition in the form of a back closet, the whole place is still far smaller than most dorm singles. Perhaps the confined space is what makes the books so overwhelming. They line the walls from floor to ceiling, stacked neady on shelves or arranged bindings up in baskets. There are books on a desk which occupies much of the middle of the room, on the floor in the comer, and along more shelves of the open-air closet. The titles tell the customer all he needs to know about a possible theme to the material for sale: don't even ask the question. RogetJ· Thesaurus sits a few rows away from Don Quixote. The Children} Illustrated Storiesfrom tbe Bible has been placed not far from an archive of Frank Lloyd Wright architec~ tural designs. But the store is so small that more organization would be superfluous; just look around and you'll see what you need. There is also a "wicker basket Program selection," according to Fuzz, one of multiple Johnnie employees. A quick inspection yields "The Trial of Socrates," a non~ fiction account. Okay, so it's not exdusive(y Program. But, as Fuzz points out, some of the books are Program~appropriate, and excepting rare books, they're all at around half price of the original, with an additional 10°/o off for Johnnies (that discount goes for all the books, not just the ones in the wicker). Fuzz is getting paid in books. 11ary Adams, the owner, has not quite gotten things settled in enough yet to make him an offer of money, but he does not seem to mind. "I get to read anything I want, and I get first pick of the books that come in," he says, shrugging. · ~Is. Adams can hardly be blamed for not quite having a pay system in place yet. The store, located on Randall Street next to the Corner Cafe, has only been open a couple Bookstore continued on page 2 Quixotically, Shahrzad Arasteh believes that it's possible to translate a St. John's educa~ tion into a full~t:ime job. But our new Director of Career Services is a conscientious person who's here to help you find a job---a good deal for all Johnnies. True, it's likely most of us aren't very sure of ourselves when it comes to careers; most St. John's students don't have a very good idea of what they're going to do with the rest of their lives. However, that shquldn't stop you from doing more than half-heartedly scanning the bulletin board outside the Career Services Office. Ms. Arasteh doesn't expect you to "have everything figured out." The purpose of Career Services is to be your guide and ally rather than something like a placement agency. The intention is to provide assistance whed1er the student or alrnn already has a strong direction or is unsure and open to many possibilities. 11u:ough a combination of assessment tools, interviews, and assignments, Ms. Arasteh will attempt to concentrate your desire towards graduate schools or internships, careers or temporary employment. Ms. Arasteh is also looking at soliciting feedback from students about the purposes of Career Services. "I look forward to working with tl1e whole college community" in order to better try to meet the variety of needs. She would also like to hear informally from an}'one who has specific requests for how to extend Career Services to meet their own needs. 'Wtth career development and counseling the person himself provides the hard work" as a general rule. She looks forward to making the office a valuable resource for the students and alumni of St.John's College. �Table rf Contents Lecture Review. ........................................... 4 Editors-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Shoshana Goldstein Photographer Clark Saylor Business Manager Cathy Keene Playing with Fire........................................ S Schol/............................................................ 6 With Human "l"s........................................ 7 ]. Edgar Hoover..•....................•.•............. 8,9 DC Minutes•..•.....•••..•••..•••.•••.•••.••..•.•••••••..•. 10 Contributing to this Issue Chris Aamot Willis McCumber Aaron Brager Jerry Salyer MaxSocol Nina Carrieri Jon Kara Sylvester James Cindy Johnson Reenie Craven Henry Higuera Sarah Wilson WebsterYe i\fax Kronberg Founded in 1980, the Gadf(y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, fac~ ulty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visi~ tors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not neccssarilly represent the opinions of the Gadjfy staff. The Gadffy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thought~ ful, informative, and thought~provoking news~ paper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadjfy is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e~mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 Batde Hymn of the Republic of I.etters.... ;...................... ;............................. 11 Bookstore continued ftom front page months, for one thing.. And besides, she has a day job at Border's to worry about. Johnnies man the store for most of the day while she works at the mall; she comes in at night to finish up. Work is limited to keeping the books, all of them used, most of them eclectic, in some semblance of order, as well as answering questions and finding titles. lvfs. Adams herself is a vibrant, middleaged mother of two whose eyes, hands, and speech all create the distinct impression of an uncontrollable whirlwind of ideas and commentaries. In a bright red jacket, long khaki skirt, and leather boots she explains the birth of downtown's only book store. "A friend and I were walking along the street and I saw a lease sign in the windowthis place used to be a golf shop - and I thought since it was so small the rent couldn't be that high. It just seemed like the right thing to do." Really, commas and periods have no place in her words as she describes the circumstances, hands fluttering about in much the same way the store did in its first weeks. "I remember the insurance company wanted to know how many books I planned to sell in any given week, and all I could thipk was, 'That would mean there was a plan involved!' There was never a plan. I just felt that downtown needed a store like this." She has not been the only one. In the past ten years downtown has seen at least three different used book stores, including one two~story affair right on Main St. called "The Haunted Bookstore," now "Cafe Normandie." Those stores all folded, though, under the financial weight of maintaining the sort of store few people seem to be really interested in. It is a weight of which I\1s. Adams 1s acutely aware. "I\-fost of these books are from my house," she confesses. Selling her own books was only the first in a series of sacrifices necessitated by the opening of the store. "I work at Border's full time, all day, every day," she says, going over her schedule. "Then at night I come straight here and stay open as long as I think there might be any business. The whole time I keep my eye out .for books to grab: estate sales, junk sales, anything. One of my daughters is in college, and the other is a sophomore in high school, so they're fine on their own, but I've still had to with~ draw from some of the community programs I used to be involved in. There just isn't the time." She's not complaining, though. "If it was between Border's and this place, I'd take this place. Right now I get to make enough money at the one to support the other." And the job is not without its fair share of perks. In addition to the good conversation offered by most of the patrons, many of the books yield surprising keepsakes: from grocery lists to love letters to old newspaper articles, Nis. Adams has developed quite a collection of Miscellaneous Items Made of Paper, which she keeps in a drawer under a bookshelf. As uncertain as "The Annapolis Bookstore's" future seems, l'vfs. Adams al~ ready has big plans. She is working hard to acquire more classical material in an effort to attract Johnnies, though she is quick to point out that, to her surprise, many l'vliddies have expressed interest in the same books. She is also working with her neighbor, the Corner Cafe, to hold book readings and signings by high-profile authors, and is even looking into setting up some late~ night "coffee and reading" sessions in a courtyard behind the shop, once the temperature warms up (though, she points out excitedly, "at least 17 people" can fit inside the store). But even without these things, between the books and Ms. Adams customers should find no shortage of things to occupy their time. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �1. Pick Your Target. Fold a piece of paper :in half On the left half,makcalistofallofherpositive attributes, such as "nice smile." On the cight,make a list of all her negative attributes such as 'i\llison Hennigan." If there are more negative attributes than positive, then rewrite your 1istwid1 the positive attributes in really big letters. _Also, feel free to be creative. ''Nice smile" can be separated into "nice lips" and "nice teed1." 2. Seduce and Corrupt ~l'lke sure she knows you'reinterestedin her. Laugh at anything remotely SCAual that comes up. Get it? G:>mes up? 'That's hilarious. Underno cllUIDlstances should you be even slighrly kind towards her. She will see this as a weakwwwsaralee.com/saraleebmnd/ fuq.aspx DearJews' Clues: \\!here have you been? Why hasn't there been a column? Is the SaraLee slogan (il.) ''Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee," oris it (B) ''NobodydoesitlikeSara Lee''? If the former, why does a major cmporation have a slogan that is not grammatically correct? If the latter, why didn't I know this sooner? Faked Actual Content, Evidenrly DearF.AC.E.: We've spent the last fewweeks tmppedin Gilliam Hall. We got lost at first tqillg to find a bathroom anywhere, but they were nowhere to be found The only door with a bathroom sign turned out to be Dan Russell's dorm room, and the only actual badlroom we found was inhabited by a latge feral rat named Bite)~ He taught us the ways of the rat, and we lived scurrying about in the walls for many moons, pa)illg homage to Larry, The Great Rat of Time. L"er, 've fmmdourkeyauxl,and consequently could leave the building Ittookusabouta week or two to hike the fonnidable Gilliam-McDowell tmi1. We could have done it faster, but we spent all of our time hunting: All of our fanuly died of Snake Bite, except for Max's ch<l, who still ruts him with bricks occasionally. ,\lso,youcanneverhaveenoughw..gon axles. Thecorrectansweris(A). AcconlingtotheSara Lee website, "in 1968, SaraLee introduced what was to become one of the most £'lmous slogans and jingles of all time, 'Nobody Doesn't Like Sam Lee'. The jingle initially hegan, 'Everybody Doesn't Like Something, But Nobody Doesn't Like Sara Lee' as a 11mewith wonlsandmusic by Mitch Lee, creator of the rut Broadway sho"r, 'Man of La 1\Iancha'. The response was immediate and incredible rl1e theme proved thoroughly hummable, and rl1ewonls well, the rest is history." Speaking of gtamtnar flaws, check out that final sentence. And if you don't believe us, here's the website: -].C. DearJews' Clues: I'm halfblackandhalfJewish- I'm so much more ethnic than you are. I'm the son of a priest from a farm in rural 1\.Jissouri. Unfortunately, the fast pace of east coast daring has left my country- bumpkin-butt bei:Und. Please help me find a date at StJohn's, thereby continuing to breed the bbck- ness. As we all know, the men that women find most attractive are vicious, auel, and sex-crazed, like Toph "Mad Dog" Stuart. You can test to see if she is :interested by telling d1e following joke: Q. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A A comma is a pause at d1e end of a clause, and a C.'lt has claws at the end of its paws. If she laughs, she totally wants you hru:dcore Or,she'sare-re. 3.Make the Move. In all hones~•, this is the ness out of my fam.il)~ Elijah uLonesome Cowboy'' Berry step d1at we have rl1e most trouble wid1. If you DearELC.B.: have any advice for how to go about making the move, please send it to: AaronBruger,Crunpus 11ail Please, we are so much more ethnic than you Here is a alphabetical list ofour ethnic identities: PleaserefrainfinmsendingusadW:etegarding:G}lB, prostitutes, Ian :Morochonic, or pheromones. For more1nfonnation about GHB, please consult your Chemkee 0 English German (pre-Hider) 0 0 German (post-Hirler) 0 Hitler 0 Irish (probably) 0 Jewish 0 Scottish o Wampanoag (psyche) jThat's right. We're still trying to bring back "psyche." Try using it with your friends, as in this example: «I swear, tllls candy doesn't have any peanuts. PSYCHE!! Oh, you're allergic? Well, here's a shot of adrenaline. Sorry about dmt. PSYCHE!! IT WAS A SHOT OF PEANUT OIL!! Wow, I didn't think I'd ever have a chance to use that peanut oil shot'1 o Welsh 0 Plus, we both just happen to be majoring in Cultural Legacies, the most ethnic kind oflegacies. Furthermore, we're not here to find you a girl. We're here to dispense advice in a fun, safe, free, and non-alcoholic manner. So, here are the three Jews' Clues Steps to Getting1hat Girl: Student Handbook. :tvfr. Berry, we encourage you to write in about your upcoming successes. -].C. J.C's Shaloms Shalom to Allison Hennigan for letting us say such a terrible, awful, no-good, very bad thingahout her. Shalom to Reality and The Pink Triangle Socie~< The]. Edgar Hoover Drag Ball went off -without a I:Utch ShalomtoRyanCmne. Yougotrobhed That!" place pcizewas totally yours. Also, coffee sometime? Shalom to Ring Pops. Shalom to Jen Silga!& Wow. Just wow. J.C.'s Review of Webster Ye's Lecture Review: 1 Y2 tluunbs up J.C.'sReviewofWebsterYe'sDragBallCostume: 2 thumbs up Mike Dobbyn's Question Quomer Why, in a village of Smurf~ is there only one female Smurf? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Lecture Review: A Heroic Paean by Webster Ye Staff Writer 1\fr. May's Friday night lecture, entitled: ""Argument not less but more heroic. IvWton's advent'rous song in Paradise Lost," was a tour de force in both poetry recitation and Johnnie lectures. The lecture was simply one of the most sublime in recent memory- a lecture that both enthralled the audience and presented many new takes on a topic that some of my fellow Juniors will probably write their annual essays on. I\1r. :May combined both a presentation of the entire work as a whole in comparison to the three other heroic epics that we read (the Iliad, the Ot!Jssry, and the Ae11eid), and also advanced the idea that Jesus was the true hero of the epic. Mr. May opened his lecture by comparing 1viilton's 'adventr'rous song' to that of the two Homeric works and Virgil's Aeneid. There was something simply spectacular about having the four work's absolutely stirring openings set against each other. At the same time; however, 1\·fr. May also may have revealed a key trait of this lecture- his willingness or even dependency on going into an summary of the entire heroic epic. This was not necessary bad- the quotations from Paradise Lost were tastefully done and very well analyzed - yet, it was hard to discern what the central theme was. In fact, his claim that Jesus was the true hero of the epic at first slipped past me, and it was not until the end of the lecture that it became apparent to me that Mr. May was attempting to show that Satan was not a hero, Adam and Eve were but supporting characters, and that the Jesus's stepping forth to redeem Fallen Man was 1\lilton's analogue for the likes of Achilles and Aeneas. In fact, I admit to having completely lost the train of I\1r. May's argument throughout much of his lecture due to the unfortunate circumstance of having yielded to his splendid recitations of 1\Tilton's poetry, and the wonderful textual analyses of the various quotations that were interspersed throughout the lecture. Mr. May spent about a third of the lecture on presenting Paradise Lost's Satan as a possible hero in this epic. Yet, by the end, 1vfr. }.,fay's skillful weaving of comparisons against both Aeneas, Achilles, and Odysseus demonstrated that because of Satan's absolutely implacable hatred of God (as opposed to Achilles' eventually placated wrath), his inability to change and learn from his mistakes (set loosely against the cunning Odysseus), and the failure of his attempt to set up a new world (Aeneas' mission in the Aeneid), Satan was 110! the hero of the epic. Rather, 1vir.J\Iay advanced the notion dut the Son's conversation with the Father in the Heavenly Kingdom and the subsequent offer by the Son to exchange his death as a redemption for Fallen Mankind as the very first instance of true heroism. Likewise, he emphasized the appearance of the Son in the Eternal Chariot as the decisive manner in the great battle in Heaven between Satan's minions and the angels of the Lord as yet another sign that the Son signified true heroism, and more important, shifted the very meaning of hero from that of a random man-slaughterer (in the case of Achilles) to Beginning on Mondqy, February 21, in the King William Room in the Barr Buchanan Center and continuing · through Thursdqy, February 24. Examinations will resume qfter Spring Break on Mondqy, March 14 and go through Fridqy, Mqy 6. The OralSchedule will be posted weekfy on the Registrar's bulletin. board in the basement rif McDowel4 on the bulletin board on the main level rif the Barr-Buchanan Center, in the Bookstore, and Library. The first week's schedule will be postedon Wednesdqy, February 16. 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lecture Review continued on back page Pleasejoin the Financial Aid Officefor a LOAN CONSOUDATION WORKSHOP Thursdqy, February 24'h Hodson Room Undergraduates: 11:30 am-1:00pm Graduate Students: 6:00 - 7:30pm Come learn all the exciting details rf Loan Consolidation... It's notjustfor seniors!!! �Playing with Fire by Jon Kara Sylvester-Johnson Students trying to appreciate contemporary a1t often find themselves caught up in the contagion commonly perceived as Cl'itical opinion of"modern art." A common misconception is that you must degrade or acclaim the status of the whole era in order to establish your ability to appreciate art. Often this ignores the distinction between the J\-fodern ali era and contemporary art, discarding or accepting indiscriminately the totality of art from the 1940s to the present. This leaves the active core of d1e artist community unexplored and stigmatized-branded, sometimes correctly, by the outliers and extremes among their number. Artists have always pushed the limits of their field, expanding into new media as technology has increased availability a:nd the variety of choices. New media is constantly meeting the desire of artists to express new things; art is about exploration. Each era has asked the question, "\Vhat is art?" \\le are constantly redefining, cleansing, cropping and growing our way into a better understanding of how and why we make things. TI1e purpose of this column is to offer fellow Saint John's students avenues of exploration. Over the next few weeks I hope to give you a window into access points in our area where art is beingnncovered and examined: con- Gunpower drawing by Cai Guo-Qiang temporary and retrospective; each time, for the first time. The artist Cai Guo-Qiang Art has been described as the imitation of nature, an attempt to recreate the world around us in a more permanent creation. Paintings, songs, poetry become attempts to preserve intense moments of beauty, sorrow, joy and anger. Artists have begun to challenge this idea by creating temporary wo.rks, some lasting only a few weeks, others lasting only a few seconds. Enter Cai Guo-Qiang. Guo-Qiang is a contemporary artist living in New York He works primarily with gunpowder producing large scale explosions often lasting for under a minute. Originally from Dehua, China Guo-Qiangmixes tradition and technology in a unique way currently being explored in 'Traveler,' a joint project between the Hirshhom Museum and the Arthur Sackler Gilllery, both located around the Capitoll\fall Both parts of this exhibit offer small free color books that elaborate on the wo.rks of tl1e artist. Inside are short descriptions of the large fireworks, their purpose, the artist's concept, and completion. The second floor of the Hirshhom is featuring large paper works that describe the unrealized projects of the 2003-2004 year. Spread across tl1e walls the paper works become their own att forms, gunpowder drawings exploring the duality of creativity and destruction. One planned project was a plan to set off explosions from theEiffel tower creating a Chinese pagoda in the sky, etching the cooperation of cultures into the viewer's eyes in a brilliant and short-lived transformation. Sadly the delay caused by the confusion and interface of the bureaucracies ofboth governments caused cancellation of the project because of time constraint. The Sadder features another patt of the "Traveler" exhibition. 'Reflection' is a site-specific installation of a Japanese fishing boat, shipwrecked upon a wave of broken Chinese porcelain figures. 1l1ese broken religious statuettes, produced in the artists hometown, sct-ve as a turbulent tribute to the artists own history and an nnusual, some say disrespectful, use of traditional culture. The porcelain figures ofBuddhist goddess Guanyin are simibr to the one which Guo-Qiang keeps in his studio; certainly he means no disrespect. The Sackler is a gallery that focuses on preserving the past. The combination of GuoQiang's excavated ship-wreck and imported broken porcelain is undoubtedly contemporary. \\!hat statement does this piece make about the past? 'Where does it fit in among the hundreds of utilitarian and religious art-facts housed at the Sackler? Guo-Qiang's explanation of the piece is that "It will be the porcelain, broken in its shipping, that carries the boat; this subversive approach, an idea, a philosophy, a concept, a formal action that destroys but also creates a history and a culture." Each exhibit is open to the public at no charge and at an easy walking distance from the other. A curator's tour will be held lvfarch 8 at noon and a special tour and discussion designed for local students will be held on the last day of the exhibit, April 24th at 1 pm. I urge you to see the exhibit for yourself and if you would take advantage of these tours to arrive early and take a look around or arrange your plans to stay later, as you will undoubtedly wish see more of what both museums have to offer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Scholl by Sarah Wilson Staff Writer It all began in a rather ordinary fashion. It was the first long weekend of the year and I was up in my room calmly reading, while my Mom occupied herself with the New York Times in the living room. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever. After some quality time spent with Spinoza, I announced my intention of going out. Knowing that when going out I often find myself, at some point before coming home, in a record store, my J\{om asked me to look and see if they had anything by Andreas Scholl, an up and coming German countertenor she had just read piece about in the Times. I recognized the name as that of the countertenor who performed in the Herewegghe version of the St. Matthe1v Passion and readily agreed, being rather fond of his voice myself. Later I returned home with two new CDs for my Nlom and busied myself doing whatever it is I do in all the time that I waste. Then I heard it: the voice of an angel, apparently in the living room. Wondering if Lucifer had shown up to sing me some English folk songs about love in an attempt to win back my heart, I peered downstairs. 1v1y lviom explained that we were listening to "Wayfaring Stranger," a collection of English folk songs sung by Andreas Scholl. We were both transfixed by the beauty of his voice. Tears pricked in the corners of my eyes as the lovely notes of "She moved through the Fair" spilled out of the stereo. Now, anyone who knows me very well is aware of my admiration for child sopranos. In fact, I have often declared that the only way I could possibly be persuaded to have a child of my own is if I could be assured it would be a little boy soprano. I'm not sure what it is and have no argument to make for my case, which is, in short, that child sopranos are demigods with talents that render them worthy of having gold, pearls, ivory, roses and other such valuable and/ or smelly stuff heaped upon their alters before we mere 6 mortals fall speechless at their feet, except to tell you to listen to a recording of boy sopranos singing. I think you'll be a convert as well. Back in the day, certain barbarous practices were visited upon exceptionally clear voiced youths in order to prolong the life of their soprano voices for a little longer than they would have lasted if nature had been left to do her work un-tampered with. However, even boy sopranos who found themselves in such positions did experience .a slight deepening of the voice with age. And thus countertenors arose. Countertenors are men who sing in the alto and mezzosoprano range. Although countertenors sing in a range that is generally associated with female performers, their voices retain a distinctly male quality that makes their vocals particularly striking. These days, castration tends to be frowned upon, so there aren't as many countertenors around and those who are aren't the castrati. They just sing in highly cultivated falsettos. Two of the most prominent countertenors today are David Daniels and Mr. Scholl. Last weekend my mother and I attended a performance called "The Renaissance Muse" which featured Mr. Scholl singing, in his mind-blowingly gorgeous way, some pretty amazing songs. It made me weep. After the performance we lurked about like teenaged girls at a Justin Timberlake concert until Nfr. Scholl emerged from the backstage area. My mother (a middle-aged man and my soulcompanion in lurking creepily) and I timidly approached the handsome countertenor like awed rabble approaching Jesus. Had he been wearing a robe instead of jeans, I think any of us would have been happy just to have touched its hem. Sans robe as he was, we did the next best thing and asked him to sign our programs before engaging him in conversation. One does not ·often get to see ones mother acting like a giddy school girl, which she did, as Mr. Scholl, who's speaking voice is rather soft and not at all high pitched, Scholl continued on back page . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Subscribe to the Gadfly Second Semesterfor on!J $15! Send requests to: The Gadfly S t.]ohn'sCollege POBox2800 Annapoli~ MD 21401 BeanRA! Give back to the community, and work to make it better! Applications are available in the Assistant Dean's office for the 2005-2006 RA program. Application deadline is March 18. Cal12512 if you have questions! �With Human "I''s by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer Imwion ofthe Body Siia!chers. There are two quite good versions, a Hitchcockian-scifi '50s original, and a '70s retllilke that merally depicts Being devouml by Beconring- both based on Jack Finney's The BodySnatchm·. The story. Earth is invaded by spores drifungdown from Cosnric Void, spores that fester into tendriled cloning pods which replicate sltun~ bering humans - a process whlch consumes the victim's original body, identity, and transcendent aspirations. The pod~people herild a perfectly~ ordered world where human bonds & distinctions -individual and collective -are erased The pod-era will be with~ out sorrow, wrad1, fear- and without love, too, for Finney's implication is that the latter blessing is inseparably bound upintheformerevils. Onourpurgatorialmudballin the WesternSpiraL\rm being open to me:uringful happiness means being open to pains, risks-just as agame ofpoker qua poker requires a stake in the pot. Yet not all value the game: afreethinkerhereatStJohn'sonceadvocated materialism_ to me as ''Freedom, from hope." Professor Jon Huer (U. Matylaud's author of The Post-Human Socie!J) describes Americans as "the future prototype human." Now, Huer is no dys- functional paranoiac-he is not wamingmen of this, he is smugly prochiming it, as Brave New Gospel "Ame:ricans," says Hue:t, in his book Signs of the Times, "are now entering a wholly different era of society and culture... a 'Post-HumanEra' where all aspects of social life are streamlined and rationalized .. [and] each individual is isolated from other individuals so that his or her self-calculation can be logically derived withoutdisttaction finm other hrunan beings." Huzzah. SuchvisionspartlyrelyonD.uwinianphilosophy's smothering blanket spread over all life's mysteries, and announce that genetics, nanotechnology, cyberneticswillsomedaycreate Traushumanil)c Man tech~ nologically liberated from those annoying, incidental flaws and limitations in his nature. Again, not cranks- transhtunanists include Ml.T. professors, AI experts, biologists. I imagine they are too busy maste:ring the alchenries by which our Wastelaud was made to pnteticeintrospective soul-searching, or wrestle with first principles-questions like ''Why?'' or "What is the Good?' But before you scoff at their predictions, consider that on "How?" or "Is this mate:rially possible?" d1ey are more qualified than myself and the reader. ("Pod-people", hanumph, sci-fi nonsense -like rocketships and Babbage~maclrines.) Tampering with d1everyessences of unknowns -and Ivfanis the second-biggest tillknown there is -is infinitely graver than all four Horsemen combined I concede :Man falls far short ofwhat he should be (particularly one man with whom I have grown fairly intimate, over the years); but the aim should be to fill in the holes in out human-ness, not amputate a chunk of ourselves so we may then have photographic memory or do high~speed diffY g, or have a more peacefully productive society. A man perpetu~ ally squatting on a toilet devouring bucket upon bucket ofopiate--laced lanl would be peacefully~produc~ tive, depending on one's definitions. Before making a better man we should ask what "better man'' actually means. Some have already quietly, glibly answered, with~ outconsultingtherestof us. Troubling: the simple fact thatamanhas no reservations about imposing his will on human nature/culture is the first sign that he is the last person who should be doing sothat, orpethapsHis understanding is an order higher than ours. But whatever else we argue over, I think we may agree that Huer and transhtunanists are men only, not gods. Antonio Gramsci and his fellow~lvfurxist Georg Lukacs were not gods, eithe:t, but they were geniuses. In the 1930's both thinkers recognized that a Marx~ istworld required eradicating the old values which had blossomed from the synthesis ofHebrew and Classical civilizations into Ouistendom, and that the way laynotwithguns and meat-axes but vampire-hat style, quietly, without provoking widespread reaction. They invented a new Trojan horsemanship: while hidden within plain sight within West~ em Civilization itself their (often~unwitting) heirs would shift the conceptions of values away from the old and toward the new. Gradually institutions which once connected generations by propagating inherited~knowledge became generarional~fu1grn<:nt~ ing machines by which "updated~ thinking' is im~ printed on youth. And youths habituated into the "polymorphous perversity" extolled by Frankfurt Schoollvfurxist Herbert lvlarcusewere the cuckoo's eggs in Westen1 civilization's nest. Even while disdaining the heart, Gramsci& Co. sawthattheheart was the ttue battleground in Man's great, schizo~ phrenic rebellion against his own Creation. From the Frankfurt School's Institute for Social Research (originally to beuamed ''In~ stitute for J\fancism" till subtler heads prevailed) came Critical Theory, con~ celvednot for pursuit oftruth but as a corrosive weapon with which to attack the existing order. In seconds any intellectually~trendy dilettante can label and thus negate- as mere ciphers for power sttuggles of clas~ gende:t, and race- those expressions ofideas an honest thinker takes years to explore. "Crilical Theory" aposdes spread the anti~idea ideo!~ ogy through education, higher and lower, guawing at Western civilization's fibers as the Norse serpent gnawed the World~Tree's roots. "Critical Theory's" spawn respects not truths residing in various viewpoints, nor proposes alternatives; feminism is more interested in destruction, in annihilating patriarchy, d= in establishing matriarchy- for matriarchy would necessitate concedingthatthe gender may be connected to some real, fundamentalnurtming~iden~ rity. (2004Nobe!UtCitation: "(Elfiiede)Jelineklets her social analysis swell to a fundamental criticism of civilization by describing sexual violence against women as the actual template forourrulture." !tis a good sign that a civilization has succumbed to pathetic, suicidal self~loathingwhen it fulls all over itself praising a writer for damning said civilization as brutal to the core.) Traditional human expressions were co-opted: by sirenic overemphasizingofvJ!id secondary ends, primary ends can be buried. Sexualiry's (valid) sec~ ondary end of individual satisfaction supplauted the primary end ofgeneratinginten:onnectedfumily sttucture:churches' (valid) secondary end ofworldly concord supplanted salvation. There is a poignant declaralion by an old Chi~ neseimmigrantin the '70s version of"BodySnatchers," a bleak realization: "lhat not my wife." I can easilyimaginerounderAbtaham Pien;on's spirit look~ ingupon Yale Divinity students- applying queer theory and liberation theology to retllilke.the unpal~ atable Creation/sin/redemption message into one more hip, more "socially-relevant": "That's not my school" Human Eyes continued on page 10 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �Photos by Clark Saylor - Captions by Aaron Brager, Max Kronberg & Kate Sullivan - Coffee by Carlos Paul Patrone making us all wish we were Ring-pops D Ho: The Queen of the Night; Mike Vecchiolla, and Drag Ball MCsAaron Brager and Erikk Geannikis (Brian Jones not pictured.) Oh, that guy, and the other one. Webster Ye making an excellent woman 8 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �The Reality Archons would like to thank everyone who helped clean up McDowell Hall cifter the drag ball lastSaturdqy night. . "Oh my goodness, are you serious?" Yes. We are. We know good doctors who can fix thai hand thing. "Jen Silgals. Wow. Just wow." --Jews' Clues Skinner Pinson as Johnny Depp; Ryan Crane as Dan Houck's Not-So-Secret Lover; Eric Lasiloo as Himself Kyle got in the way of this excellent grand piano photo. Thank God he went with both the boots and the stockings. Just one would have been tacky. Good. Like librarian good. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �DC Minutes Wed.nesda}~February 2 fusion as to whed1er the Billiards Club did or did not spend its money. the beginning of next semester for licensing, Pre- Members Present BrianJones, MeghLockard, Patrick Sullivan, Hugh Mellaoey, Jon Coppadge, Rook Singe; Billy Ladd~Cawthome,LTBurbridge, Nicole Young, Lee Branne~ Ashley Tyler, Aaron Brager, Max Kronberg, Chris Utter, Deborah l\!angurn. Also Present Erikk Geannilcis (PA),Ms Buker, Ms Brubaker, Ms Paley, l\k Novitski, !VIr. G.u:ber 11:55: Call to order; treasureisreportwehavea working balance of $13,104.70 and $824 of uncashedchecks. 11:58: Discussion of COCA meeting, the dif~ ferences between the old and new versions of the revised constitution. A meeting time of 3:45pm on Tuesday, 2/8 was decided upon, \vith all mern~ bets ofthe polity invited to attend. !VIr. Burbridge will type up notes on changes to constitution. 12:06: J\Is. Buker discussed new Art Society expenses, such as theAfiicanDrumming Workshop. Preliminary request $114.41. 12:08: Discussion ofSJ Chorus. Preliminary request $40. 12:12: Discussion of Fencing; they did not sub~ tract their revenue, and a question was raised as to whether they should be able to use DC funds to buy team jackets, especi:illy in light of the fact that they will need more than $1000 in their account at liminaryrequest $27.04. 12:33: Gmtleningdub, preliminary request $35. JVL-lbel; they need to change their charter to reflect movie renml difficul~' Pn:limin,-u:yrequest $62.66. 12:40: Discussion of the necessity of a contingency fi.mdinrn.,'11ly club requests. 12:42: Discussion of rrtisspent funds. 12:46: Discnssion of proposed change to SJC Film Socie~' name to "St. John's College Film Soci~ ety and Motion Picture Society." 12:54: The delegates voted, and fue motion fuiled, 8-6. Wednesday, Febmary9 !\!embers Present Bcisn Jones, Patrick Sullivan, Hugh MeiLmey, Jon Coppadge, Rook Singer, LT Bwbtidge,Nicole Young,i<shleyT)ier,Auoo.Brager, !\lax Kronberg, Chris Utter. }Jso Present Eukk Geannikis (PA), Ms Breon, )\.Jr. \'l,lhittier, !VIr. O'Flynn, l\.ls. Boyle, l\.ls. Kelleher, l\!s. Durham. 11:59: Call to ordeJ: Treasurer's repottwegillned $100 from thenowdefunctHoiStrategoi. We will track down uncashed checks from Woodworkers, Mabel, theS\vim Team, and Pink Triangle. We have approximately$13,205. 12:01: Discussion of 1\Jr. Burbridge's call to or- 12:04: The issue was tabled. Croquet's prelimi~ nary request $80. 12:10: TI1e film society will receive $100 from Ms. Seeger for "Misc. Free Showings" and so their emended preliminary tequestwas $1875. 12:20: l<WP's preliminaryrequestwas decreased by $150 due to new advertising and other revenue sources. Request$719.38. 12:26: SCI's request enlarged by $120 to accom~ modate the Johnnie-:tv1iddie seminar. Request: $443.63. 12:31: Storytelleis preliminary request $154.30. 12:32: 1'vfr. Jones raised several issues that need to be addressed l\.!r. Arunot proposed moving the televisionmrrentlyinCampbelltoGilli.1m. Wede~ cided not to move it. The vandalism committee willmeetSaturdayat1:00inBBC. Wewillreceivea list ofkeycard codes used to access Gilliam around the time of any future vandalism incident. I\Jr. Burbridge will address the questions of: rollover fi.mds during summer; and the overdraft problem with theDC'saccount. Eukk Geaonikis, Chcis Ut~ ter, and 1.fax Kronberg will meet to discuss d1e question ofa contingency request in clubs' budgets. \'V'e will vote for the new constitution in two weeks. We will have elections for the recently vacated posts der regarding- unspent funds. Therewassomecon- culty, toda)~ in recognizing one anod1er. Culture in Humphrey aod Off Campus. 12:43: Meeting Adjourned. "they''. The war agninst Nothing is not over, yetfor there are no pod-people. 'There is no "formless Human Eyes continued from page 7 needs tradition, just as thought requires memory. just as the only value in the freedom to sea-.furelife~ urtity",nor any "isolatedindividual' who can be free Even fueterm "politically-correct" has been subverted- originally the term was directed toward leftist groupfuink But then "politid~incorrectness" became widely recognized as laudable defiance of groupthink, and was distorted into a new definition-a Ia Bill Maher's persona, exemplified in his useoftheterm "the extra-chromosome bloc." In newspeak it is daring- "politically-incorrect"- ocean lies with the exotic-mysterious, yet welcoming shore that we may finally realize was our them. We are all quantumly~entangled personality~ homeport all along Ships are for voyage~ but all waves, for better or worse. for someone who comfortablywhirlsin elitist show- biz-circles tomockrurn!Ameti«ms and fundamen~ talists, just as it is "tolerant" to imply that they are i\metica lost the Cold W~ aod now grows ever-colder. In fact, America was doomed to lose themomentitchose to transformitssocietyinto a Fj;ing Dutchmall of lost ghosts. TI1e invasion has never admitted its real allegiance- secular imperialism masked as Christian.it)~ dogmatism masked as libemted~though~ sterility masked as freedom. TI1e invaders are faithless in more ways than one,are dishonest in debate: We never truly knew what justice was; now that it is racyis, either. Neither politically-correct ideologies norneoconservatives' 'heative-destrucrion'' crusade madline for' 'global democrntic revolutioti' are anyfuingmore than repackaged cultoral Marxism. These visions' -for what does it profit a bnd to win empire, yet lose its own soul? about fueir goals, much less with John Q Public. media~entertainmen~ military~industrial There are no pod~people, ouly all thel's of Us- voyages must end in landfall, or sinking, or with a sacred 3bstracrion we no longer knowwhat democ- subhumans. from connection -pains, and joys- to those around hucksters are probably not honestwith themselves founded on eternal flux is contradiction, and the Wolfowitz may be forgiven only because he knows not wlu'1t he does. alienated inability previous generations would have For Finney is part-wrong, and the stolid, com- had in recognizing ours correlates to our own diffi- that paradox, that second~biggest unknown. Jon Huercannot"escape" being] on Huer, a man- with limitless disgrace and honor implied. Nor does the Cosmic "Void" offer freedom from the warmth of ptimalligh~ on this planet There are only halfborn sleepers, you and me- half-hurn.,'1!l Being, half-human Becoming, snoring as ourplunderedidentityis dntined fi:um us a bit more, tendnla whispering Keep sleeping just a little longer, just five more minutes. But the filmmakers were mistaken, too, because both hopelessness and alienated pessimism are cowards' folly - because none of us snore in absolute oblivion. We are sleepers who dream. We can, if we will, shake placent ''hammphcrs" are patt~right There is no Progress demands continuity. 10 Progress from stars' hopeful rays. There are no pod-people, just as there are no humans, anywhere off the tendrils-and then arise tolookoutandsee the sunrise with human eyes. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �The Battle Hymn of the Republic of letters y Henry Higuera Tutor My ntind has seen the glory of of th'Idea of the Good; That it's not the same as pleasure! have firmly understood; And I wouldn)t take a tyranfs power even if I could, I'm marching from the Cave. 1vfarchiflg, marching towards the sunlight, The Fool concieves of God but things the faithful are decieved, BUT a"Greatest Being" whose reality is not belived Is a being than'which something greater still can be concieved) Which contradicts itself! Ontologi~alrebuttal Ontological rebuttal Faithlessness Will ever scutde, for it contradicts itself The State of Nature's character we know from good report To be very solitary, nasty, bruish, poor and short, So let's give the Sovereigo all our rights and ali the guns, and forts And then we'll all survive! Ratify the social contract (etc.) Detenninistic limits on my freedom are erased By the transcendental ideality of time and space, So my atoms are determined but my wills a different case) lt'"s pure atonomy Hail the transcendental ego (etc.) I've been thrOugh all the steps in my phenomenology, So its master,slave or in between, it's all the same to me: I'm, unh3.ppy and I'm conscious so I'm absolutely free, I'm fully synthesized. I've undergone the dialectic (etc.) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 11 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P. 0. Box 2800 Annapolis, NID 21404 Scholl continued from page 6 politely discussed folk music with us and assured us that he would return to New York next year to make his Metropolitan Opera debut in Handel's Rodeliuda. So what is the moral in this Homeric tale of woe and passion? The message is that listening to any of Mr. Scholl's excellent recordings will rock your socks. If you are a sophomore, your in depth study of tl1e St. Matthew Passio11 will commence soon. Ch eck out the Herrewegghe version so you can feel shivers run down your spine as you listen to Mr. Scholl elaborate upon the feelings of Buss und Reu. Enjoy the folk and Renaissance pieces featured on lr?'a.Jfarillg Stra11ger and E11glish Folk a11d Lute S o11gs. High points include achingly beautiful renditions of "Barbara .Allen," one of the first emo songs ever written, "She moved through the Fair" with its haunting tale of a ghost lover, "My love is like a red, red ro se" (it's only a cliche because its so awesome people want to quote it all the time) and "Waly Waly." Heroes con tain s a wide variety of operatic pieces such as "Che fa ro sense Euridice" from Gluck's Oifeo ed Euridice and "Vivi, tiranno!" from Rodeli11da, which leaves no doubt in one's mind that .tvfr. Scholl's Met Opera debut in this work will b e a thing of wonder. If the two version s of "Barbara Allen" on ~r?'ayfariHg Stra11ger and E11glisb Folk a11d Lute SoNgs weren't enough, there's another on The Voice, which al so includes pieces by Vivaldi, Handel, Bach, including an stunningly beautiful version of "Erbiume Dich" from the St. MallheJIIS Passio11, Caldara and others. Vivaldi: Nisi Domi11us is a beautiful collection, as is A Musical Ba11quet, which is comprised of songs by Spanish, Italian, French and English composers, including John Dowland, collected in two books published by Robert Dowland in 1610. Mr. Scholl's latest offering is Arcadia. In the early 18'h century a group of young Italian artists, poets and composers, Corelli and Scarlatti amongst them, called themselves the Arcadians and this is a collection of their musical compositions. It's a lovely CD full of won . derful music and lyrics. Although lVlr. Scholl has released a wide variety of recordings that veer in many musical directions, throughout all Arundel Mills MallSh. Due to last-minute technical difficulties, Mali on Feb. 12 was cancelled I apol~ inconvenienced. The shuttle has been res1 - departs gym lot at noon, returns to ~ Seats are first come/ **Note: There's a huge movie theate; Egyptian 24) for people interesteu DATE DUE w l ~u~wmz, u yw"•· · · Chinatown Shuttle The Saturday Shuttle to Washington D.C. Chinatown will run as scheduled on Sat. Feb. 19 (departs gym lot at 10 AM, returns to S]C by 5:00PM). 12 his voice remains a strikingly emotive thing of transcendent purity. I'm sure that after reading this article you're thinking that I'm more than a little crazy, which may be the case but if you just listen to something by him, you' ll understand. Lecture Review continued from page 4 that of a hero witl1 "a truly noble purpose befitting that of a hero of Mankind. This last instance was from an interesting case in theAe11eid of Nisus's sacrifice of his life for that of Euryalus. Mr. May attempted to show that instead of simply being willing to sacrifice his life for just one person, the Son's willingness to sacrifice his life for all of Fallen Mankind was by far the most noble of any hero's actions. Again, I have to confess that I was far more enthralled by Mr. May's absolutely wonderful presentation of Paradise Lost than by his argument, which may have been successful simply because he was so careful to wrap it in a sensible-sounding wrapper of material and analyses from the epic. The only major spot in the lecture which I had significant issues was tl1e very ending, when Mr. May only briefly and p erhaps hurriedly (in the interests of time?) presented the notion of a certain tension in Fallen Man as expressed in the epic very last lines. Otherwise, although attendance to the lecture could have been far better, Mr. May's lecture was one of the most interesting and intellectually satisfactory lectures this school year. My only regret is that I did not steal his ideas telepathically for my language paper last semester. Note: A1ry flmvs i11 the prese11tatio11 of Mr. Mqy's argume11t are my 011111- I was co11vi11ced to write a lecture revie111 by Mr. U!ter o11(y at the lecture, and so I was 1101 ful(y prepared to take issue 1vith every assertio11 made by Mr. Mqy. Please ftel free to hate mail me for a1ry issues that I had )))ith Mr. May's IIIO/Iderful lecture at: wye@sjca.edu. . THE GADFLY .. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 17 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-02-15 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 17 of The Gadfly. Published February 15, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.17 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/0e84cdc9896527dce35953ae99ada03b.pdf 7e20409ddc80696c6c903b087e2ea658 PDF Text Text ~ l\l lil i~lll[ijlli\H\1 L DATE DUE lHl= l ~A D FLy I Annapolis, Maryland Febi'J{ary 22, 2005 The St. John's College Student Week! Volume XXVI, Issue 18 The Plague of St. John's Manliness, Mandragola and Masks by Max Socol Staff \\7riter by Nick Colten Staff Writer Last weekend's Steiner lecturer, Professor Harvey C. Mansfield Jr., was provocative emotionally, but disappointing intellectually. Perhaps my disappointment comes from a near total disagreement with almost all that he had to say, but I would like to think it is more than simply that. I found :Nir. Mansfield's account of manliness to consist largely of assertions suppotted more by theatrical delivery than by thoughtful argument. He also frequently exaggerated or simplified tl1e arguments of others- including those of modern feminists and Adam Smith-in order to make his point. This mode of discourse is consistent with some of tl1e qualities of manliness tl1at he described, so perhaps he spoke tlus way deliberately; but if so, to what end? Mr. Mansfield's notion of manliness seems to rely on a classical conception ofnatural kindsone ilia tis normative-rather than tl1emodem conception of kinds, wlucl1 is merely descriptive. In light of his assertion that abstract thinking is masculine while empirical thinking fenUnine, I am left wondering what the relationslup is between his preference for the older, more abstract idea o f natural kinds and his claim that males are, by nature, abstract tlunkers. His grounds for classifying the natural kinds "man" and "woman" were also insufficiently addressed. In his lecture, Mr. Mansfield made reference to sociological studies that showed that men and women tend to have fue traits, such as aggression and nurturing, that are commonly associated wifu the respective sexes; some ofthese studies were even carried out by sociologists that Supposing Truth is a women ...what then? (This i? Nick Collen, by the way) wanted to disprove traditional sex stereotypes, but who were compelled by their data to reconsider their opposition. Such studies do not, however, make 1\fr. Mansfield's case for natural kinds; for as one man put it during tl1e question period, ''You can't make an ought from an is." 1\fr. Mansfield responded that you call make and ought out of an is, and offered tlUs example: "If you can't hold your liquor, you shouldn't drink." This response, however, is clearly inadequate, for it assumes or ignores a crucial middle step. Between the "is" of having a low tolerance for alcohol, and the "ought" prohibiting drinking, is a value judgment such as: "Regrettable things happen when I get drunk." Such a value judgment is not strictly a matter of fact. The fact that I will have a hangover is value neutral; it is only when I assume that tl1e pain and inconvenience of tl1e resulting hangover is something to avoid, that I can then logically conclude that I should not drink. Of the people able to ask Mr. Mansfield a question, no Manliness continued on back page It seemed a miracle of almost biblical proportion that, when Harvey Mansfield strode to the stage on Friday night, th e audience was able to keep silent. Not from talking, of course; Mansfield received the usual respect given lecturers from th e Polity. But that the non-stop sound of coughing could be s~ dutifully repressed was a feat of pure will on the pa rt of numerous Johnnie "walking wounded." The end of winter is u pon us, and w ith the season comes an annual flu-like virus circulating the campus, dishing out fevers, congestion, and, b y the sound o f it, the worst cough of all time. For the remaining healthy students, it seems only a matter of time. Worrying, however, is probably not constructive, according to Nancy Calabrese, one o f the H ealth Center's nurse practitioners. "It's not the flu, just a viral upper-respiratory condition. We see it almost every year on a small campus like thi s," she said, adding that if it had to come, it prob ably could not have come at a better time. With students getting ready to head home for spring break, the virus will no t have the opportunity to maintain its h old on campus, and should b e all but entirely eradicated by th e second half of spring semester. There have been some worries over numerou s rumored cases of whooping cough , as well, but Calabrese was quick to point out that these were efficiently isolated, and that con sidering the staggering rise in incidences of the illness in the past tllree years (9700 cases in 2002, the highest nwnber since 1964), St. J ohn's has gotten off lightly. As far as preventio n of the curre nt virus, Plague continued on back page �THE Report by the Community Subcommittee, SCI ~-GADFLY Editors-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Shoshana Goldstein Erin Hughey-Commers, Luke Jayapalan, Chris Utter, Miriam Keirn Photographer Clark Saylor Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Luke Jayapalan lvfiriam Keirn NickColten Max Kronberg Erin Hughley- Willis :McCumber Commers Jerry Salyer M. Ennui Dulab :Nfax Socol Matt Gates Aaron Brager ATP Founded in 1980, the Gadj(y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapoli::; campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Pe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not ncccssarilly represent the opinions of the Gadffy staff. The Gadf!J reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in mo:o:t cas~s. The Gadjfyis not obli!,>ated to publish all :o:ubmtssions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they arc legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 . THE GADFLY . . . . . < •• In the early days of the program, most tutors lived within walking distance of the college and the drinking age was 18; both of these conditions fostered a much more relaxed atmosphere in which students and tutors continued their conversations outside of the classroom. The Coffee Shop used to be a central gathering place where one could go and find tutors and students alike studying and conversing over coffee and cigarettes. But now most tutors have offices and smoking is an outside activity. Times have changed and there seems to be no going back. Over the past two weeks members of the Student Committee on Instruction have had the pleasure of meeting with several tutors to discuss student-tutor relations. The question we posed to the tutors was this: what can students do these days to help foster relationships with tutors in order to more fully integrate their lives outside the classroom with what we are learning in the program? One of the biggest challenges facing tutors is lack of time, which directly affects tutors' availability to students. One tutor explained how he needed X number of uninterrupted hours a day to study in preparation for his classes. This same tutor expressed the feeling that he wanted his time spent around students to be fruitful in conversation, and for this reason he does not usually attend purely social functions such as Waltz Parties. He suggested that the SCI encourage more tutors to give informal lectures, which would provide tutors the opportunity to present their ideas on a topic of interest and give students the opportunity to meet tutors and engage them in conversation in a less formal setting. Such events could easily serve as a springboard for students and tutors to find common interests and to talk one-on-one about these interests. Another topic of discussion was the Take Your Tutor to Lunch program that < < • • • • • • • • the dining hall offers to students. Tutors' willingness to go to lunch in the cafeteria varies widely, from downright refusal to regret that they are not asked more often. By and large, however, most tutors, when asked to lunch at Cafe Randall, accept. That more tutors are not in the dining hall every day is more likely due to the lack of initiative on the students' part. This may be due to the fact that when students first arrive at St. John's they are unaccustomed to such close contact with tutors and are afraid to cross those boundaries. Initiation by upperclassmen into traditions such as taking tutors to lunch seems to be the best solution on the table. The SCI is currently exploring ways to ensure that upperclassmen will connect with freshman in their first few days on campus. The Gadf(y can also be a helpful source of student-tutor discussion. It used to be common for tutors to write in with a math problem or an article on a subject current in a class as a way of introducing the topic to students who had not studied it yet, and reintroducing it to those who had. For example, in a 1981 issue of the Gadffy Mr. Berns wrote in with a list of questions about the Bloom translation of the Republic. It was also not uncommon to see a list of books tutors were reading. A tutor we spoke to had the further thought that the Gadfly could include a reference and short description of something a tutor had written that shed light on a current discussion topic in class. Any of these could lead to very fruitful oneon-one discussions between tutors and students, as well as simply being helpful academically. But the best solution at the moment was articulated by 1vfs. Amy Taylor: "Be bold!" Ask your tutors out to lunch; don't . be afraid to approach them if you see them after a lecture or in the Coffee Shop. After all, we live in a community of learning. It is important for us to remember that the conversation benefits everyone. As J\-fr. Verdi said, "We (tutors) learn from you (students), and don't be afraid to help us." �question is, why have there never been any pictures of you? .Arc you ashamed of your son? By "needs a haircut" you clearly mean ''has d1osen to ignore my wishes, and needs to be shunned fium all my motherly love." As a small child, you cut his l1.1ir, butwhen he grew up, it became his decision, and I'll he danmed if you tell him how to live his life. Vaya con Dies, Aamn! Vaya con Dios. -].C. J.C:s Shaloms Shalom to Bitey and Larl)~ the Great Rats of Time. Shalom to Elijah 'TmnotLenny Kravitz"Be.ny Shalom to Blythe Woods. We want you to win the contest DearJews' Oues: I followed the three Jews' Oues Steps to Getting That Girl, but, fortunately enough for all the fine young belies on campus, I'm still ripe for the pickin'! \'\lhat can I do to get a date? Elijah "My Milkshake Brings All The [Girls] To The Yard" Berry Dear E.M1LB"\.T.G.T.T.YR: We could teach you, but we'd have to charge. So, insteadwe'reusingthenu:eoccurrenceofyouactually being single to kick offour annual JEWS' CLUES WIN $75.00 MARATHON-FIESTA CONTEST. THAT'SRIGHT,FOLKS,ANYONE, EVENYOU,CANWIN$75.00! Allyoulmveto do is schedule a datewithElijabBerry, and give him d1e time of his life. Elijab will describe each date to us. \\!ewillselectthemostenjoyabledate(enjoyable for us, not him), and whoever took him out for that date will receive an article in Je-.vs' Oues describing the date, and seventy-five dollars CASH MONE\1 Bear in mind, that weare judging the contest. Ifwe disagree, the tie will he broken by Polity Attomey Erikk Geanrtilris. For example, "She took me to Wendy's, and then left me by the side of the road I had to make my way back home using money earned through my only discemable skill, the ability to juice pomegran."es." That would probablywin.Can youim;tgine anything more irritating than trying to juice a pomegranate? It's just like trying to peel an onion, but instead of peeling it's juicing And instead of an onion, it's a terrible, absurd fruit that consists of tons of mostly husk, which surrounds millions of tiny inaccessible seeds that stain everything they get near. People often ask questions like, ''\Xlhowas the first person to milk a cow?" We don't understand why any more than one person ever tried to eat a pomegranate. Some people say that they are delicious and to- tallyworth the effort, but these are the san1e people who, like J=es Wrigley, conside1 handball to be a sport, or, like Hannah Stone, think thatthe circle of Shalom to pomegranates. You know we just HannabandJamesareclearlyperlectforeachothe1. If only shecculdworkupthenerve toaskhimout. We want then1 to hook up real badly. Thafs why Hannah Stone and James Wrigley are barred from entering our contest, which, yes, is still the main point of this response. playin'. Shalom to Geren1y Coy for the new JC logo. Keep on rockin' in the free world lvlike Dobbyn's Question Quome1: Considering the only times he won't see his shadow are if it's overcast or he's blind, why are we still planning onr springs aronnd a groundhog? You C.'lll contactl\1r. Berry to schedule the date v1a campus mail, v1a e-mail at afrosemite@yahoo.com, or on his cell phone at RE: Salacious Valentine fifths is a real thing: On a side note, we think that (410) 919-7700. You should probab~'usehisemail address, hecause heabeady gets enough calls on his cell phone asking about apartments. (The telephone number of Visimwy Realty Services is the same as his, but with a 443 area code.) Plus, he's proud of his email address. Like absurdly proud. We just hope he stops getting e-mail for Lenny Kravitz soon.We're serious. We've got the money. We've got the constitution, the depth of faith, to take dris as far as it needs to go. We'll see you after spring bn:ak. -].C. DearJews' Clues: I would like to know why the1e are only two pictures ofAaronBragerin themostrecentissue of The Gat#}. And in one, he needs a haircut. What's the deal? Sincerely Aaron's Mother Dear Aaron's Mother: Max Kronberg here. Aaron is abstaining from this answer, what \vith you being his mom and all Plu~he's beingkindagayrightnow,in that he's sort of flirtingwithmerightnowBy"sortof flirting" I mean "hella flirting'' and, needless to Sll)~it's hard to see the screen, because he makes a better door than a window. A better nahd door. \XIhen you say , "only two pictures" do you mean thatthereshouldbemore?To the hestof my knowledge, this is the most number of pictures of Aaron that have ever appeared in one issue. The Dea1 Gadfly, I am writing to challenge three members of the senior class to a duel (or should I say a tetrule?) Why, you may ask, do I dare to raise the red hanky of challenge? On account of a salacious Valentine which they sent to my girlfriend, the lovely, mild-mannered 1\Hss Nora Kelleher, in which they compared her to the common condiment butter, through a sonnet based on a lyric from A Tribe Called Quest's second album, an obscure early nineties hiphop reference, which, cool as I am, I identified at once. lvfake no mistake of it, underneath my boyish good looks, disarming southern charm, and enthusiasm for community service, I am a cold-blooded killer when those dear to me are flattered in an off-color manner. Needless to say, although I am overseas at the moment I will be packing heat at graduation. If the~e three pundits have any ball-bags in their bullpens, they will meet me on back campus, down by the murky creek where once we rowed together as brothers, and where their self- referential sarcasm will be no defense against the icy bite of my glock, where the grime, gull feces, creek scum will be the the flavors which usher them toward Valhala. A pox be upon their progeny even unto the seventh generation! Sincerely, Bryson "Stinklea" Finklea, A '04 . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Fallen Manliness by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer Claus von Stauffenberg was born in 1907 at Griefstein Castle to an aristocratic Catholic family. Apt at architecture, literature, and music, he eventually opted for the Stauffenbetgmales' time-hallowed vocation, joining a cavalty regiment in 1926. There superiors and peers dubbed him "an expert at settling differences, acting as go-between and smootlling out quarrels"; described his "extraordinary gift formakingod1ers feel naturally and completely at ease ... all iliemore remrukable seeirigtbathewas genecilly recognised as OOngwe1l above average intellectually." Stauffenberg was a German patriot;itwasbecauseof-rather than in spite of-his patriotism that he grew disillusioned with the ascendant National Socialist Party. Solid grasp ofa good, rather ilian denial of it, is the true shield against tl1at good being perverted. Biographers recount Stauffenberg's "Christian humanism" (not O},:ymoron but redundancy); that rootingofhis worldly politics in eternal responsibility may also have played a part in saving Stauffenberg's love of his heritage from being lured into abomination by Nazi mesmensm. In 1934 an early sign was given of this disillusionment, at a mandatmy-attendance party lecture: Stauffenberg rose and walked out on tl1e lecturehaughtily elbowing his way past a pair ofSS officers who tried to stop him- when the speaker began an anti-Semitic tirade. The proud cavalry officer was better exemplar ofNietsczhean man-an-horseback than the rabble who quoted Nietsczhe. The conservative Kreisau Circle was also closeminded regarding shiny-happy-clean Nazi futurism. In 1936 this resistance was founded by former mayor of Leipzig, Dr. Carl Goerdeler, who had resigned office to protest the party's removal of the statue of Mendelssohn from Leipzig's public square. Admiral Wt!helm Canaris, also resistance member, orcllestrated "Operation U-7" - the smuggling of Jews to Switzerland from Germany, an operation which later cost him his life: "I die for my fatherland," he would say athis end TheKreisau Circle is little-known toda)~ because themovementwas comprised ofChristian-principled Lutheran and Cailiolic clergy, along with traditionalists motivated by unacknowleadgeable Old-World ethics, because ideology must erase those faces who do not fit into tl1e 4 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . shallow mythology ofprogressive-hero / reaction- to Berlin via aircraft, to begin overtluow ofthe Nazi ary-villain: Modenilsmis no more capable ofhon- regime in the wake of ilie Fuhrer's anticipated dead1. oring traditionalists' courage and sacrifice d1an antiBut an attache noticed ilie briefcase under ilie Semitism could honor Mendelssohn's musical ge- desk, and in one of iliose casually absurd frustrations which we must accept ifwe are to accept life, ruus. Stauffenberg was privy to the numerous plots ilie attache moved the briefcase to one side, out of againstNazismlaunched by theKreisau Circle, yet the way. .And so the Leader was shielded from ilie he became preoccupied with d1e war. In Russia he blast by the heavy table, ilie gamble lost, and ilie was able to justify his service to d1e Reich to him- howl came from the Wolf's Lair: find Stauffenberg self-here he could at least openly fight one to tali- He must not see another sunrise. tarian regime. On ilie eastern front he organized Stauffenbergwas captured in Berlin, and stood former Soviet troops into the wiili his back to a wall at a half-hour past midnight, 130,000-strong Russian Lib- . July 21" 1944. His last cry from dlis life is recorded as erationArmy, which he hoped Es lebe, tmser gJJJeime Detrtsc-hlalld Goerdeler, also might take part in defeating outed, was tortured for 5 monilis - ilien hanged. Stalin and restoring Russia. At Today we may make cynical Epimed1ean critithe same time he defied cisms: "\XIhy did Stauffenberg wait till Germany duough his own personal au- was losing ilie war? %s he rea!jy so bold against thority, by punishing iliose Nazism as hagiographers clain1?" Such aloof simwho committed war crimes, plification is the h.ll>."Ul}' of safety; the "absolute siand through vocal criticisms to lence" policy the Allies offered supplications sent to superiors- ilie Nazi colonial the outside world from the Kriesau Circle--from agenda and barbaric treatment before the war till its end--call our own haloes into of Slavic "subhumans". He que5tion; this silence assured no wavering German warned such viciousness senior officers would lend momentum to the conwould "sow hatred in the East spiracy to overtluow ilie Nazis. And sucl1 was the which will one day be revisited intention; neiilier Roosevelt nor Churchill wanted on our children." One cannot Hider overilirown by anything less tl1an total decidirect hatred against one's neighbor \vithout that rnationandconquestofGermansociety---ruchdecihatred eventually coming home to roost; there is a marion, followed by unconditional power to redirect link between contempt aimed at Jews and make Germany into theAnglo-AmericanmercanEastem Europeans in the 30s/40s and that con- tile ideal, was to guarantee "Huns" would never tempt which culturally-eviscerated, nihilistic German again be a dueat From Auschwitz, to d1e graves of youth today direct toward themselves. East Germans murdered by Communism, to the Allied heavy bombing campaigns began: Hider future, ilie sound ofsilence echoes utilitarian choices -contrary to ilie gallant eilios Stauffenberg lived by men make for sake oflife-denying "guarantees". -ordered the mass execution of all Allied POW WhatmightithavemeanttoGermany'spsyche, bombercrewmen.Stauffenbergandhiscolleagues had Nazism been thrown offby Germans IDemresponded by swapping condemned aviators' pa- selves railier d1anliberated by foreign bombs? Had pers, serial numbers, identities with dtose of POWs Stauffenberg succeeded, Germans today might not already executed; living men were saved, hidden be- be so haunted by guilty loadling for their own hishind the names of d1e dead. Yet this was only a tory. But again, from a modernist viewpoint it is small gesture, and Stauffenberg grumbled to close good for Germans to lose German-ness; for under fiiends: "Is there no officer over therein the FUhrer's modernism it is better to comfortably numb one's headquarters capable of shooting that beast?" It inherited humanity so as to guarantee it will never was in Norili African fighting that Stauffenberg go mad \vith fever, just as it is justified to eradicate earned loyalty-marks: losing an eye, his right hand- manhood so as to guarantee ilie patriarchy will not ilie price for later admission into iliose headquar- oppress women. ters, onto Hider's staff Well, ilie Soviets promised a new world and a On July 20, 1944, von Stauffenberg and a co- new man fi:eed of the inhibitions of heritage and conspirator loaded a bomb into a briefcase and religion. And in ilie Russian march to Germany the marched into ilie Wolf's Lair. Depositing ilie brief- Soviets delivered, with mass-rapes of womencase beneath the council table at which Hiderwas to 100,000 in Berlin alone. Praise be to Freud, inhibhold a planning session, von Stauffenberg slipped ited chivaltywas dead �But back to the failed coup: it is hue that the Reich had already wrought much of its misery. But wespeakofpeople,notpercenmges;andmanymore were to fall following d1e plot's fuilure. The month afterStauffenbergfucedhisexecntioneJ.,,AnneFraok and her fumilywere finally captured by the Gestapo. From Fate's view, perhaps, the Franks' last chance had passed. Or perhaps it reflects an ecumenism: 1heproud, war-scarred Teutonic hawk and 1heruUVely innocentJewish girl were sacrificed on the same altar-an altar built in a world where too few men have roots from which to draw strength. We view Stauffenberg from a land where rl1e tenns ''hero" and ''crusader'' often mean going to rallies, where ''bravely speaking out'' me.'Uls being p.c. and getting patted on the head for it I wonder how many of us (myself included) -who have lived easy lives while wrangling, Kantian-style, of "1heJew-in-the-hasement"-could rruu:ch 1hepath of duty to a date with a firing squad We cannot think our way to good- our timid Hamlet-complex lack ofwill to thrightis at least as problematic as not knowi1tg right the uncontemplated life is not worth living, perhaps, but the safe, purely contemplated life is never lived at all. So Stauffenbergstands as reproach for us, should we not accept him as inspiration; as weak people we-you,andi-arealwaystemptedtoresentgreatsouled men who show us what we should be. He represents an olderway---ofmen with roots, whose decisions came from stem reflection on obligations toward God and fellow-man, informed by demanding traditions of virtue. I myself partake just enough to admowledge genuine manliness when I see it, to warn that our chillywastelandgrowsever-moreeffoctiveatbreeding it out the poles offered to boys are :tvfichael Stipes v& The Ma11 Show. Between the twin fingers of a feminism hostile to the notion of males havingdistinctidenrity, and the myth that equates crudeness with that identity, the fire of genuine masculinity-{! cultivated masculinity, with integrity and character-isbeingsnuffedout Iustead, weare tempted to forget saaifice, and think the flames of courage and love are shown in talking good games, of getting touchy-feely-wann waving lighters at candlelightvigils-- tha~ or by barging around like 1houghtless bulls in china shops. Itis a dangerous choice for a society to tum the bulkofitssonsintoignorantor selfCindulgentelo~ for Morlocks are still out there, in the clark. We must pray that the march of shinyhappy-dean progress never peunanenrly kills the roots from which manhood blooms. Because aside from whatever creative, transcendent purposes Beowulfmay have, westillhaveveryearthyneedof him. Because in the shadowy far recesses ofpotentiality, in the lair of history, wolfish Grendel still lurks-- writhing with loathing for us, and as hungtyasever. Top 17 Things to Have Done, Had the Power not Been Restored on Valentine's Day by Error! Referwce so11rce 11ot Jotmd. and Willis McCumber, Staff Writers respectively 1. Screw up the courage to check out the seminar reading. 2. Nice ass, Seminar Reading. Nice ass. 3. Find out what people are talking about when they mention 'Plato,' 'Aristotle' and 'the Good'. 4. Build a small yet comforting fire in 1\kDowell for survival in the new postapocalyptic mayhem, as civilization as we know it has melted like so many flakes of snow. 5. I mean, snowflakes. 6. 1\·'fake good on your horrendous debt to society by unscrewing all the light bulbs just a little bit. 7. No, that would only be funny if the power had not come back on. 8. Dress up, get your seminar reading, and sit down at your seminar table. Pretend like seminar is taking place, and like they're letting you talk. 9. Find God. Start drinking. 10. Write a letter to Jews' Clues in a transparent attempt to showcase the wit of the columnists. That's never been done before. 11. Make a few friends and throw a party. Call it New Year's. 12. Adjust your sleeping habits to correspond to the rising and setting of 'the sun'. 13. Theoretically, the Hulk is invincible because the more you hurt him, the angrier he becomes. 14. Mix coffee and alcohol. Intravenously. 15. Counterpoint: Why do you have to wait for the lights to go out for that? 16. Write a nice card and get a flower for that special someone, like you said you would, jerk. 17. Use the occasion as an excuse to write a Gadf/y article. Hearing the common moan issued from the students :Monday night as the power returned, one might get the idea that here at St. John's, we aren't all about learning, reading and discussing. What then, are we about? Being the investigative reporters that we are, we made up some interviews with pretend students to answer just that. "She said 'Drop by later if the power doesn't come back on ... ' and I think you know what she meant. No, really. What did she mean?" a confused student, one R. Kingsley, asked us. Secondary sources helped us shed light on the matter (yeah, that was a pun). "I was walking with Kingsley when the girl propositioned him. He must have lost interest in the conversation, because his eyes glazed over as she finished the sentence with ' ... and we'll have awkward Johnny sex. OK, Kingsley?" "I bet she just wanted help translating Sophocles. That must have been it; some of that stuff is really hard to understand." Kingsley remarked. Other students were disappointed as welL "I was finally going to ask her out. It was the perfect romantic atmosphere in the dark, on Valentine's Day, especially after the candle-lit dinner in Randall Hall. When the power came back on, my amorous courage deserted me. I guess it's back to my banal existence after all." A girl on-site mused: "I think he was finally going to ask me out. He kept looking at me funny from across the seven tables that separated us during dinner. Sarah said the candles 'cast a ghoulish shadow on his normally grotesque face,' but she's a liar, and a jealous one too ... Oh well. Sophocles will be my lover this Valentine's Day." . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �All Tomorow's Parties "None of us were driving, officer, we were all in the back seat.''- ATP Greetings festive Johnnies! Thanks to a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, ATP returns this week to offer the following public service announcement. No two drunks are exactly alike. In fact, there are as many forms of drunkenness as there are combinations of diverse drinks, different bars or parties, various groupings of drinking confederates, and varying reasons to drink. That bottle of Champagne you drink in the morning to help cure your hangover can never yield the same drunk as the four bottles of identical bubbly that you drank with those strippers last night after your best friend's bachelor party. It just doesn't happen that way. Unfortunately, not all drunks are created equal, at least in terms of the level of enjoyment they can deliver. Sometimes, a night of drunkenness arrives like a gorgeous European supermodel in a convertible coupe, who loves you for who you really are and thinks that your otherwise-humiliating birthmark makes you look cute when you're naked, and she also thinks size doesn't really matter. Other times, though, drunkenness can be like a neglectful step-parent who gets custody of you after your real mom dies of breast cancer and your father gets sent to jail for tampering with A TM machines, the kind of step-mother who gives you a rented Blockbuster video for Christmas, than spends your College fund on Kool Cigarettes, Peppermint Schnapps, and expensive cat food for her Persian longhair, whom you're allergic to. That was the kind of drunk that ATP had last Friday, which kept me from attending any parties at all that weekend. I really wanted to report on the much-anticipated drag ball, but hell, I couldn't even make it all the way to the bathroom Saturday morning. The question is, since these kinds of drunks hit us from time to time, what are we to do? Should we avoid drinking entirely, in order to avoid embarrassing ourselves, and doing our own minds and bodies terrible harm? F*ck no. How then, are we to ensure a pleasant drunk? And, what, exactly, did I do last Friday that had me so incapacitated? I will now try 6 to answer both these questions, for I do believe that at least one of them can be answered. There is, I think, leavening agent that can cause all forms of drunkenness to rise to the same level of hedonistic delight is simple: using self-deprecating humor to evaluate and learn from one's mistakes in retrospect. Consider the moral of the following anecdote of my Friday night, and let me offer some advice on how not to let this happen to you. First of all, unless you want to watch an Orioles game, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to go to Baltimore. I know what you're thinking: Baltimore seems like a garishly lit fantasy world, where topless women will pump gas for you, even if your ride takes diesel, and the raindrops taste like chocolate milkshakes. At least, that's how I used to picture i t - a town that calls itself "Charm City" where playboy F. Scott Fitzgerald got married. But seriously, never ever go to Baltimore. Especially, do not go if you're invited by your arrested development cousin, who has a tattoo of a pirate ship on his back, and just got out of the Coast Guard, and also has a tattoo of a mermaid on his arm. As it turns out, I have just such a cousin. He goes by "Rex" even though his real name is Clarence, and hereally doesn't mean it that way, you just have to get to know him. Cousin Rex, who, get this, is in town for a bowling tournament, insisted that I go out with him and the other guys from his team. 0 f course, I declined the offer initially, but when Rex offered to pay for my drinks, I couldn't refuse. Tragically, it turned out that "going out" meant going to the lounge at their sleazy motel in Dundalk. Also, "paying for my drinks" turned out to mean "paying for my drinks so long as I buy what is on special." And what was the special? you may be wondering. Northern Light drinks $1.50. Northern Light- to call it cheap blended Canadian swill will be to disparage the likes of perennial stand-bys such as Canadian Club and Canadian Mist. Nope, Northern Light is a form of toxin that is more difficult to swallow than turpentine and has a smell that reminds you right away why el- ephant keepers have the worst job on earth. Basically, it's the kind of bathtub hooch that those Canucks used to ship us during prohibition, that made some people go blind from drinking it. Usually a handle (1. 7 SL) retails for less then $13.50. That is incredibly cheap. Northern Light is proof that Canada wants to kill us, and is why I will never buy prescription drugs from there, no matter how cheap they are. Piece of advice #2: avoid any beverage that they have to discount to less than two bucks in order to make people drink it. Now, to be introduced to a bowling team, unless, I suppose, one is about to join it, is immediately to feel like an outsider. First of all, one's clothes do not match the uniform jerseys everyone else is wearing, and such civilian garb inevitably lacks the rich emblazonry with which the bowls bedeck themselves: fantastically bright colors, dangly epilates, and silhouette-style silk screen images of curvaceous women poised seductively on oversized bowling pins. None of the bowlers utters his name; instead, each approaches to a certain distance and puffs out his chest. This ritual is perfor~ed both in order to demonstrate bravado, and to serve as an introduction, since each player's name or in most cases, nickname, is embroidered in dazzling longhand on a small patch just above the left breast. Of course, no one asked me my name; as we sat down and placed our orders, it was as if no one heard me when I said "Hi, I'm (sorry, not this time ... )" Although I very much wanted to follow my piece of advice #2, I was rebuffed at every turn by Rex and his associates. Each time I refused a drink my cousin and his friends would start calling me "College Boy" in an insulting manner, giving me "Charlie Horses" or, worse yet, the dreaded "Hertz Donut." Thus circumstances beyond my control forced me to consume a substance that I wouldn't poison my worst enemy with on the day after he stole away the girl that I love and told everyone I secretly dream of being in the Cirque de SoleiL I didn't have just a little bit, either; I ended up being pressured to consume eleven glasses of the stuff in the course ofless than three hours, bring- . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �ing my tab to a whopping $16.50. Rex, as you might imagine, is a lousy tipper. In order to prove my point about selfdeprecation helping to make the best of a bad drunk, allow me to offer a 100% true drink-bydrink account of the events that transpired that terrible evening. First though, here's piece of advice #3: don't drink anything you don't want to. Ifl were a wee leprechaun, or just plain annoying, I would say that like this: A drink that's drunk against the will cannot but be the source of ill. Drink #1: Northern Light on the Rocks. I ordered this just to see what I was up against. It turned out that Northem Ugh tis so volatile that it melted all the ice right away, then vaporized it, leaving me with only a slightly cool glass of N orthem Light neat. The first sip literally made mewantto cry. Drink#2: Northern Light Sour. Ordinarily, I would drink it wussy to dtink whisky mixed with lemon juice, sugar, an orange slice, and a cocktail cherry, but I hoped that d1eseingredients could mask the underlying nastiness of the Northern Light. I was wrong. Drink #3: Northern Light Sour. At this point, I began to take note of my surroundings. I observed the Nascar-themedinterior design scheme of the lounge, and the preponderance of videopoker type machines. The clientele are mostly bearded, mulleted guys with rainbow-tint 80's Oakleys resting on the brims of their mesh caps. I wonder why the pub's one fe- male patron, a floozy sitting alone at the bar .in a sequin cocktail dress, would ever have intentionally purchased the Dolly Partonstyle wig she had on, and why she would voluntarily be seen wearing it in public. Drink #4: Northern Light and Lime Shooter. Tills shot was forced upon me by Rex's friend Ernie, who has a scar on his nose exacdy identical to the one Jack Nicholson's character receives in "Chinatown." Upon ingesting a shot of Northern Light, I can actually feel a part of my brain die. Drink #5: Northem IJght Sour. I begin to suspect that Rex's friend Travis, who weighs at least 275 and drives a big rig, might be gay and have designs on me. Drink #6: Northern Light Sour. By dris time, the Northern Light has actually lacerated my mouth, throat, and gums. Hence, the lemon juice in this drink burns me almost unbearably. Drink #7: Northern Light and 7-Up. I sneak up to the bar and attempt to explain my plight to the unsympathetic bartender. Mumbling, I beg him to substitute Jack Daniel's for Northern Light in my next drink, but still charge for just Northern Light. He refuses. Penniless, I consign myself to the mercy of God and his holy angels. Drink #8: Northern Light and Lime Shooter. Another shot proposed by Ernie. This time, I tell Ernie that his scar reminds me of "Chinatown." Although Ernie has not seen the film, he is still gravely insulted by the remark, and the amount of "Hertz Donuts" I receive from that quarter increases greatly. Drink #9: Northern Light and 7-Up. Now legitimately drunk, I tell everyone I secretly dream of joining the Cirque de Soleil. Laughter, at my expense, follows immediately. Drink #10: Northern Light and 7-Up. Travis, inspired, I think, by my Cirque de Soleil comment, informs me that he is gay and has designs on me. Compared to nearly ten Northern Lights, Travis's designs don't seem so painful. Henceforth, the other bowlers begin referring to me as "Fresh Fish." Drink #11: Northern Light and 7-Up. I finally figure out why the floozy at the bar ever bought that wig and wore it out of the house: it makes her the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I pass out at the bar while trying to tell her how the sequins on her dress shine like the diamonds in her eyes. I don't really remember what happened after that. Rex and the boys had the courtesy to drive me back to my dorm room, but I vaguely remember us getting pulled over, and them placing my half conscious corpse in the driver's seat, and all moving to the back, before the officer got to the car. Fortunately, the officer didn't buy it, so I avoided a night in Baltimore City jail, thank God. DC Minutes 11:59: Discussion of Sail Club. Revised request now totals $400 due to subtraction of food and other items. 12:06: Senior Prank, do they need more money? Some said yes, some said no, we gave them $2700 preliminarily. 12:20: Waltz Committee. The requested prelinlinarily $1014, although they will try to get additional funds from the alumni office. 12:47: Reality requested $14,600. A long discussion ensued. We only have $7000 to give them, and so that was decided as the official preliminary reqUest. We will meet on Friday at lunch to discuss the budget as a whole. Mr. Nahapetian was elected unanimously as the other freshman rep. to the SCI. February 18,2005 Delegates Present: Mr. Burbridge, J\Ir. Jones, 1tfr.11ellaney, Mr. Ladd-Cawthorne, Mr. Darling, Mr Singer, Ms. Elkins, Mr. Sullivan, Mr. Coppadge, Ms. Young, Mr. Utter, 11r. Kronberg, Ms. Branner, J\fs. Lockard, 1-fr. Romero, 1vfs. 1vfangum, h.fr. Brager, Mr. Gannon. Others Present: 1Jr. Geannikis (PA). 11:51: Call to Order. Treasurer's report: same as last time ($14,756.50).l'vfr. Jones then read all preliminary budget request amounts. 11:56: Mr. Coppadge moved to place the SCI budget at $466.38 because of the Johnnie-Middie seminar. J\Iotion passed. 11:58: Motion to decrease Senior Prank by $250. Passed. 12:15: Vote on final requests, all passed, total request: $13,938.17. Balance of$818.33. 12:22: Motion to put Reality budget at $7 500. Failed, discussion of reasons. 12:33: Motion to put Reality budget at 7318.33. Passed. Now the total request is $14,256.50, and we have $500 for emergenaes. 12:40: Ms. Young requested that I put a note in the minutes about the need for reorganization in Reality's internal structure. 12:42: Meeting adjourned. February 16, 2005 Delegates Present: :t-vfr. Burbridge, ~Ir. Jones, Mr. Mellaney, Mr. Ladd-Cawthorne, 1tfr. Darling, Mr. Singer, Nis. Elkins, Mr. Sullivan, Mr. Coppadge, Ms. Young, Mr. Utter, Nir. Kronberg, Nis. Branner, 1\-Is. Lockard, 1-ir. Romero. Others Present: Mr. Geannikis (PA), Ms. Sweeney, Ivfr. Colton, 1tfs. Hennigen, Ms. Keirn, :tvfs. Sullivan, :tvfs. Henriksen. 11:50: Call to order, welcome extended to new members, Mr. Darling and J\fs. Elkins. Treasurer's report. The deduction from our check was an error, and we received $1386.25. Also additional funds from Spanish Club, etc., thus we now have $14,756.50. 11:58: Emergency vote to elect 1\-fs. Elkins freshman representative to the SCI, passed unanimously. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Haikus inspired by Junior Lab by M. Ennui Dulab Come touch my lodestone, You can't resist its strong pull, 11agnetic effect. Look at the Johnnie, He yelps with pain at the shock, Then touches again. Lab class bored so deep, Two men draw a spark. Strike the rod with a rubber. I'm electrified. Saddened faces frown, Look around in confusion. Watch experiments die. Scribble, doodle, ramble and keep,. Not much-Lab so bad. Oh cruel attraction! You have sent my electrons Off of their valence! Senior Oral Preview: Morbey versus Sterling, Williamson, and Datchev by Matthew Gates Staff Writer At some yet-to-be-determined hour in the next two months, St.John's senior Simeon Morbeywill fuce off against dllCemembers ofthe senior faculty in a competition revolving around his settlor essay, which sounds pretty good and has something to do with justice in the Orestia. The following is a preview to the competing line-ups. Simeon 'The Russian Concussion" }_,forbey, who hit over three hnndred in several consecutive seasons with triple A Ottawa, is generally understood to be one of d1e pre-eminent sluggers in the d'lss of 2005. He has made some key off-season acquisitions, including a new fuvotite brand of tea and advjsor "Mhilost" Mera Flaumenhaft, who once asked him how he was planning to use the hour he had gained from the "fall back" portion of daylight savings time. He adamantly deniesmmors started byJose Canseco drat the dramatic migration ofu'lir from his head to his torso is a result ofessayenhancingdrugs given to him by Balco laboratories thmughBarry Bonda' personal tnllner. Facing the examination chair will be Walter "Mekong Walt'' Sterling Despite general consensus that his opening questions have lost some ve- 8 locity ofL'lte, Sterling can still throw an impressive examination, as attested to by RobettAbbot's oral last spring Long phgued by apocryphal rumors involvlng flaming mattresses and a car driven into FSK, Sterling utilizes an effective, although unorthodox, pitch selection, which is often mistaken for apathy. Also defending will be Robett "Second Aorist'' \Villiamson, who, although he has not been active in the league for many years, is well known to fans through the Rococo verbal flourishes of the Freshman Greeklllld Senior JV!ath manuals. Expect lots of style and flair. Defending the opposite side of the table will be Rotoslav 'The Bodacious Bulgar" Datchev; who has won numerous "golden drone" awards for seminar speeches which sotmd searching and anguished, but let's face it, oral fans, ·with that accent~ justaboutanythingyou sayis going to sound searching and anguished. All this considered, tills promises to be an excitingmatchup. Odds established by the Second Ouse Patricinns' Boolcie Service (ex. 2534), ll1l off-shore gambling institution which allows friends of the college to bet on all things academic, including essay priz.es, tenure, deanships, and, ofcourse, enablement; places the odds narrowly in 1VIorby's favor. To re- Manliness continued from front page one challenged him on the weakness of this example; as a result, it is unclear whether he actually believes d1at his response is sow1d; or why, if he realizes its deficiency, did he offer it as a refutation to the Humean is/ ought problem. In general, 1-.{r. 1-.Jansfield did not seem very willing to answer questions. He gave flippant responses to some questions, such as what the manly U.S. and effeminate EU are competing for (his answer: "success"); and he dodged several others, such as what his view was on homosexuals or whether Niachiavelli was beneficent. Such evasions seemed at odds with the frankness that he said befits a manly man, and more in keeping with the feminine virtues of prudence or modesty. Of course _Mr.1Tansfield never claimed to be a manly man, but at the same time, he seemed to approve of the classical imperative for all men to act ''manly." If all these things were not unconscious oversights, what to make of them? Perhaps it is sHnplymyve1y recent enconnterwit:h Bt:yond Good and E!!i/, but I kept hearing Nietzsche dtroughout the lectures given by hJr. Tviansfield. 'I11ere were parts of the lecture that were almost even paraphrases of Nietzsche. To the best of my recollection however 1\fr. hJansfield did not mention Nietzsche explicidy, except during the question period-and then only in a negative light. Again dlls raises questions: did he not realize the similarity between his assertions about mascullillty, femininity and democracy, and those of Nietzsche's? If he did realize the similarity, why didn't he acknowledge it? Is he hiding d1e similarity (as a Nietzschean might)? If so, why? What does he hope to achieve by wearing a mask? serve tickets call Anna ''Moterey Aquarium" Ahem at(ex.3456). . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Plague continued from front page Calabrese, who has taken to calling it the "St. John's Plague," did not have much to offer. "This virus is spread from the lungs, so if somebody coughs on you in seminar, there's not much that you can do. If a student is worried, he or she should come in, there is always someone on duty; but I think most students are probably just riding it out on their own, which is also all right." Statistics regarding the exact number of sick students were not available. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 18 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-02-22 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 18 of The Gadfly. Published February 22, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.18 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/c401b2a536465bbbe19941c7d93a6344.pdf e0ebf6b6e6b9f13d85bd84a34eb9b2ef PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY I' l l l l l l l~l~ f~ ~fi~Ul[~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ r GADFLY lHb The St. John} College Student !V"eek{y Volume XXVI, Issue 19 Annapolis, Maryland Man!J 22, 2005 On Drugs, Glory, and Writing Sexual Predator asks about the Program by Brian Jones So it turns out professional athletes take steroids. Surprisingly, this has surprised some people. Even more surprising to the surprised is the scope of the problem. Last Thursday, in a nationally televised hearing before the House Government Reform Committee, 1\1ark 1\1cGwire, who set the record for single-season home runs back in that glorious swnmer of 1998, fought back tears as he refused to admit or deny that he had used steroids. 1\fcGwire, who has somehow managed to drop around 40 pounds since he retired, isn't fooling anyone. Everyone knows these things happen in America. Ours is a performanceenhancing culture. One need look no further than the success of drugs like Viagra, Enzyte, and Cialis to recognize the variety of methods Americans have devised to make themselves 'better'. I am not concerned about the steroids, because I know my govemment will be swift, wise, and effective in the legislation which will come out of these hearings. Nor am I concerned that America's development of sexual performance-enhancing drugs points to a loss of virility in this most virile of nations. If this is indeed the case, I myself can do nothing about the general problem, and will deal with the specific problem for myself if it arises. \Xlhat does concern me is the use of performance-enhancing drugs at this College. A form of methamphetamine commonly prescribed for Attention Deficit Disorder and typically sold under the name 'A.dderall' is used by students at St. John's as a study aid, most often to write essays. This is a fact, the scope of Glory Fades which I can only guess at, but I would suppose, conservatively, that a fifth of the polity has used Aderol at least once while working on an essay. I am concerned ·with this because! think it is wrong, although I'm not sure why. The drugs are perfectly legal, and using speed to write an essay and drinking a cup of coffee for the same purpose seems to me a difference in degree alone. Furthermore, where would American let~ tcrs be without that grand old performanceenhancing drug, Whiskey? Hemingway was almost constantly drunk when writing, and the late, great Hunter S. Thompson kept a bottle of Wild Turkey and a collection of good speed by his side at all times while getting down to what he called "The Work." Paul Scott, author of the Raj Quartet, drank himself to death in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and though I know nothing about his writing habits, a writer who drinks himself to death would have had a hard time not drinking on the job. Stephen King, if nothing else (and I would argue, vehemently, far more) the most successful writer of our time, produced most of his work drunk, with a little help from cocaine and various prescription drugs. These men, all of whom I consider good and great writ~ ers, used performance-enhancing drugs. Per~ haps I assume too much by "enhancing," and On Drugs contiuned on page 4 by Max Socol Staff Writer It's probably the last thing you would expect to have to deal with after Seminar, or at any time here at St. John's. It certainly caught Brian Jones off guard. ('I was in the bathroom in the coffee shop after seminar, at one of the urinals, when suddenly this guy is right behind me, really right on top of me." That's the first part of a story the administration was quite surprised to be dealing with Thursday night. According to the accounts of two students, a sexual predator had been lurking in the coffee shop all evening, and had made verbal and physical advances on both of them. The students, Jones and Cameron Heely, both reported similar experiences. "The guy was asking me what I studied and was definitely violating urinal etiquette. I just sort of brushed him off, I didn'twant to elbow him or anything like that. On my way out, Cameron went in, so I waited for him. When he came out, he told me this guy tried to grab him." The two surprised men did not waste much time in deciding on a course of ac~ cion. They immediately went to fmd a security guard, but were unable to get through on the phone or to fmd one in the office. Feeling that something had to be done right away, they chose instead to confront the man, described as balding, pudgy, and wearing Predator continued on page 7 �THE 'frGADFLY Editors-in-Chief Clu1stopher B. Utter Shoshana Goldstein Photographer Clark Saylor Business Ma·nager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue ChrisAamot Judy Seeger Nina Carrieri JenySalyer Ivfichael Comenetz 1vfaxSocol Brian Jones Sean Valles DanRera John Verdi John Rogers Sarah Whitfield rounded in 1980, the Gadj!J is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within arc the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not ncccssarilly represent the opinions of the Gadj!J staff. The Gadj!J reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful , informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadj!J is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 Parry Season Dear students, Welcome back from break! I hope you are all well rested for the weeks ahead. A few things you should keep in mind: Party season is upon us. Nevertheless, the laws of the commonwealth and the rules of the polity are not suspended. Be legal and careful with your use of alcohol. Look out for yourselves and each other. Remember the three primary rules of the college community: civility, responsibility, and honesty. They'll take you as far as you need to go. Alternatively, if it's easier to remember, in the words of a former student, "Don't be an idiot." Concerning hard liquor in particular: Because it's too easy to get too drunk too fast on it, unauthorized hard liquor in public ing. That is, after all, part of this bt1lliant depranking of prank. I call on the rest of the community to join me in applauding the decision of tllis year's seniors. Hurrah for the class of 2005! John Verdi Tutor Calculus: The Elements by Michael Comenetz, tutor, is now $25.08 on Amazon.com with places will be confiscated and anyone carry=-- --free shipping (no ing or drinking it may be fined, regardless of a~e. . tax). Get it while Ftnally, should there be a senJor prank this year, classes will be cancelled ~efollowthe dis count lasts tng day. Semor orals, however, wtll not be cancelled, and, if the prank falls on a Thursday, the Friday-night lecture will take place as scheduled. Be there. • Yours for safe and fun parties, Judy Seeger Senior Prank March 19,2005 To the Editor of the Gadj!J, A number of seniors, whose word I trust implicitly, h ave privately informed me that this year's Senior Prank will be-no prank! Let us set aside for now the logical-nay, the metapl.rysical-puzzles that arise from the very possibility that something might be nothing (that is, th at some tbi11g might in fact be 110 tbi11j}. What transcends even these wonderful problems is the thought that after years of decline, the Senior Prank has finally found its proper and natural resting place. We tutors ( if I may speak for my colleagues) have long regretted that such a practice was ever allowed to take root at St. John's, where we all cherish our work together in class and loathe any interruptions in the pursuit of our common goal. (Some of us even dread vacation.) Of course, the seniors will deny the truth of what I'm say- . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mondqy, March 21: B19 your ticket for the Sat. March 26 dqy trip to Phi/a. tonight in the coffee shop before seminar (7:30 pm). Cost is $10. One reservation per student, please. March 26: Chinatown shuttle departs gym lot at 10 AM. First come first seated. �Letter from the Director if Student Services Dear Students, Some grave apprehension has been voiced recently over the likelihood that many of you, especially rising sophomores, may be forced to live off campus next year. This is a perennial concern, and I hope that those who are forced to live off campus will be able to find reassurance and assistance from those who have been in this position before. I also hope that the following numbers will be of some comfort as we go into the housing lottery process: Class Housed/Total Percent of Class Housed Sophomores 85/122 69% Juniors 65/110.5 58% Seniors 44/94 46% Total: 33 7 I 4 75.5 70.87% These numbers indicate that for every one rising sophomore living off campus, whether by choice or not, there are two living on campus. We can reasonably ex- pect the same next year. No rising junior or senior who wishes to live on campus is likely to be forced to live off campus. This should bolster those who are apprehensive; however, planning ahead and being prepared for living off campus is still a prudent idea, since about some of the rising sophomores may find themselves in that situation (if the current numbers are indicative of what we may expect in the future). Please remember that only those who have paid their advance deposit are eligible to participate in the lottery. If you miss the April 8 deadline, you will be placed on a waitlist that has no guarantees-therefore,' it is very much in your interest to submit the deposit on time. Lottery numbers will be drawn on April15, 2005, at 4 p.m. in FSK Auditorium. Numbers will be drawn by class, but will not be segregated by gender as has been done in the past. Room Selection will be at 4 p.m. on: April19 (Seniors), April20 Ouniors), and April22 (Sophomores). Room Selection will take place in Mellon 101. A word about the Paca Loft: The loft is awarded to the most creative and compelling presentation from a group of five same-sex students that addresses the question of how your occupancy in the loft will serve to enrich the life of the wider college community. Displays of civic spirit and commitment to our alma mater are encouraged. The presentation should be in such a format that it may be ruminated upon at length; thus, performances and perishable components are not as desirable. Presentations may be submitted at any time, and will be available for view in the Assistant Dean's office. Submission deadline is April 8, 2005; the decision will be announced on April 15, at the lottery in FSK Auditorium. A final reminder: smoking is prohibited in all campus buildings, including dorms, by J\faryland state law. By participating in the lottery, and signing a housing contract, you are agreeing to abide by this law. As always, please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. With warmest regards, Chris Aamot Director of Student Services Alternate jyrics to Mary Poppins' Supeifragilisticexpialidosious Words by John Rogers Quality and qauntity, Modality; Relation W'hich is to say reality, negation, limitation, These will serve on any transcendental situation Quality, and Quantity, Modality, Relation ... Space and time I've come to see are forms of intuition And if I use them properly they always bear fruition And even more they give me such a spark of erudtition And that of course for three whole years has been my sole ambition. Chorus Oh, I was so afraid to thin what I believed inHume. Professor Kant enlightened me and raised me from my gloom. So now I"ll think of anything philosophers exhume Because I know the nature of my reason must assume Phenomena and noumena I've practiced to a •T•; The former always came from you; the later came from me. And this alone can give the world it's Kant-inuity, And therefore my imperatives come catergorically. Chorus Chorus Hume had told me I could think of nothing a priori But Kant has shown deductively that that is just a story So nOW I pull 'out of my hat my favorite category And anything that doesn't fit is wrong a fortiori. So now I've seen the skeptics haven't grasped teality Their unity is nothing but total plurality And now I've seen the dullness of their cheap banality, And now I'm armed forever with my rationality. Chorus Final Chorus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �The Need for Truth in TV by Sarah Whitfield Money is the most fundamental decisionmaking tool. Each dollar is a unit of power that we choose to spend in order to promote one good over another. The federal government protects our rights as consumers by insuring that manufactures do not make false claims about their product or unfairly discredit a competitor. By lying to consumers, companies impair the buyer's ability to use his money wisely and in a manner that he feels will best benefit him and society. We recognize this choice as worth protecting and have therefore instituted a variety of state and federal laws to punish those who wish to deceive consumers. But when it comes to an even more important choice, the government offers no protection against those who would mislead us. We are given the chance to vote for our elected officials only once every two to four years. For each election an individual is given one unit of power that can be spent in whatever way he or she feels will benefit society. For this short period, every person is equal because every person has only one dollar and where each decides to spend it will equally determine the future of the society. But while the dollar is protected from deceit, our vote, more precious because it is more scarce, is not. The focus on last November's presidential election and the zealotry seen on both sides has produced some very poignant examples of why the country needs a ''Truth in Political Advertising" statute. In late May 2004 the Washington Post reported that the Bush campaign had issued a series of ads that claimed to know the reason behind Senator Kerry's promise to repeal certain portions of the US Patriot Act. When the bill was passed shortly after September 11, 2001 Kerry was one of many Senators who, overwhelmed by recent events, voted in favor of the bill. Kerry's decision was no doubt a difficult one. But now, in the heat of a Presidential election, Kerry mulled over the huge disservice the Patriot Act was doing to our civil liberties and decided it might be best to repeal the portion dealing with, among other things, unchecked wiretaps and surveillance of suspected terrorists. This was the focus of the late May Bush ads which declared that 4 Kerry had changed his mind because he was "pressured by fellow liberals", including but not limited to the ACLU and the conservatives' favorite liberal poster boy: Howard Dean. While this example highlights the Bush campaign's disregard for trud1 d1ere is something even more sinister lurking in ads that on the surface seem to be completely true. Such misinformation is even more harmful because any attempt to clear up inconsistencies falls on the shoulders of those whom the ad harms, and wheil the harmed responds it is 'spun,' it appears he is doing so because he doesn't like the bad press. In these cases the producers of the ads right to free speech protects them from any real call to arms. But shouldn't there be at least some decency? Recently an ad was aired by a group calling themselves "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth," which is not officially tied to the Bush campaign. Yet, according to Kerry's campaign, the group receives its backing from a Texas contributor to the Republican Party. The ads present Vietnam veterans that claim that Kerry did not earn his Purple Hearts and that he "betrayed the men and women he served with in Vietnam." Certainly, this group had a right to challenge Kerry's military service, but shouldn't the public have been told whom they were really hearing from? The fact is, no one on those ads ever really served with Kerry, they had no chance to see him in action. But in these days of close elections, it's enough. Throw caution to the wind, if only a handful of people believe the Kerry was a bad soldier and decide to vote against him, it's enough. John McCain came out strongly against the ad and the Bush campaign distanced itself from it, but the damage has been done. The American people have already seen it and its creators have gotten what they sought: airtime. In today's fiery political climate it may be impossible to enforce morality and decency, and maybe that's not the government's job. But perhaps if those who lie thought someone might be looking over their shoulder and double checking their facts, they would be a little more wa1y of robbing the American people of their real fundamental right, that is, to have all the truthful information needed to make up ones own mind. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . On Drugs continued from front page we could always wonder what they might have accomplished without the drugs. Nevertheless, what they did produce with their help was damn good, and this is the problem; good essays get written on Aderol. So why, every time I have considered taking a pill before I sit down to do The Work, do I stop myself? The difference between St. John's students and baseball players or writers is that we aren't making our living by how well we can please an audience. Ifhome runs aren't hit and books not written, guys like 1hrk McGwire and Stephen King don't put people in the seats, and if they don't put people in the seats they don't get paid. But if they were just worried about a check, they could do something else which wouldn't tempt them to take a drug in order to do it better. They do 'Yhat they do because of the glory. Hitting a home run and hearing the crowd roar, or writing a book and reading the letters from people whose lives it changedthat sounds glorious. Who wouldn't want that, by any means? There's still the nagging question of honor. Doesn't it seem right that athletes or authors should present themselves bare and honest to the public, and live or die on that alone? In the same way, shouldn't serious students take what their minds and souls come up with on their own, without the help of a pill, and let that be judged by itself? I think I would feel dishonorable if I won a prize for an essay I wrote with the help of a drug. But I don't know why, and because I don't know why, I don't know how to convince anyone else to think the way I do. Soon there will be a new pope. This has led me to think about the little I know of Catholic tradition in this regard, and it's very interesting. After the election is decided and the ballots are burned, while the new pontiff is being crowned, the words "sic transit gloria mundis" are whispered over him. This translates "Thus passes Earthly glory." I think I could satisfy my unquiet mind and take the pill if! did not think there was some vital truth to that I do not know, but I suspect that I will one day have to sit before a tribunal much like the one 11r. 11cGwire found himself in front of last 11mrsday. Whoever does the judging, whether it be God, or my own memory and conscience, when my life comes to be judged I want to have to fight as few tears as possible. �Stop Taking Yourself So P-ing Seriously: A Belated Memorial to Dr. Hunter S. Thompson by Sean "the Devil" Valles Staff Writer For those of you who have ever tried to do so, it is immediately obvious that today's young person is more often than not at a loss to immediately identifY a man or woman whom he or she considers a personal hero. ]\'lost agree that Ghandi is "a hero," but is he "your hero"? To those peers whom I have personally posed the question, the predicament of choosing a "hero" is similar to that of identifying a favorite color. One sometimes has an immediate response, but more often the response is generated on the spot, with all manifest confidence applied after-the-fact. The standard disaffected response to this apparent ambivalence toward heroism among my peers is that, aside from celebrities of musical and athletic prowess, there are few individuals worthy of the title "hero" in the eyes of American youth. I disagree. There are indeed men and women who seem to have been tailor-made by the Powers for personal inspiration and heroism. Without further digression, I submit to my peers a man whom I feel is certainly worthy of the title "hero." Perhaps the truest measure of a person's greatness is the variety, if not the quality, of his or her friends. Few in this respect can outdo Dr. HunterS. Thompson, the mad scientist of "gonzo" journalism. A wide variety of celebrities and individuals of public note, ranging from Pat Buchanan to 1vfarilyn Manson, to Jimmy Carter count themselves among his admirers and friends. As the combination of author, journalist, political ac~ tivist, and general satirist, Thompson has never been equaled. Few men or women can claim to have been more immersed in the historic events of the past four decades. Living a fate that seems to have A Son net Upon the Human Condition Abortion, Euthanasia, Ca.rte.r Moore: These are the things that trouble my dreams. In Inky Blackness, I feel like a whore: Like a Virgin sans Hymen is seems. I hate it when you blow your nose in class You make me Wanna do like Dido did. You don't think good or talk good either. Ass Is what you are. I wish I'd run and Hid. Whe the rain falls on my ugly ugly Face it reminds me of your Hobbit K.iss. Like a caterpillar, eyes e'er buggley, I await The End: The fowl been a fusion of the lives of Forrest : Serpent's Hiss. Gump, Mark Twain, and Sid Vicious, Thompson was friend, foe and critic (often at the same time) to some of the most : important decision makers from the Vietnam War onward. Thompson was the voice of what could be called the New Lost . Generation (in other words, most of our parents). His classic semi-autobiographical novel Fear and Loathi11g in Las Vegas : simultaneously gave voice to an emerging · disenchantment in the generation of: Flower Power and Free Love, and redefined both American Journalism and the American Novel. Thompson did what · few novelists before him ever had, he · abandoned all pretenses of impersonal · objectivity in his work. In his literature he recreated himself as a literary combination of narrator, autobiographer, and omniscient moralist. But most importantly, he did this with an artistic flair and a distinctly Southern storyteller's love of · truth over honesty. It is this fearless · truthfulness that made him so easy an object of respect, disdain, and confusion. · And yet, as death howls, I'll think it once more: Abortion, Euthanasia, Carter Moore. Okay, honesty 1s a good thing, I think, LOL. Feedback please! New amateur poet seeks fellowship and comradary with like others. If you would like to get together sometime, somewhere, someplace, so1newhen, somewhy, (where my exgf can't find me ... ), I would be more than happy t get together and see what transpires. Memorial continued on back page . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Cliff's Notes from the Underground by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer Some writing on writing: For the serious writer of any world view-Judaism, Christianity, liberalism, 1\.farxism, scientific naturalism, paganism, I (Heart) Huckabeeism, etc.- and any genre-fiction, nonfiction, poetry, senior essays, the inter-tile grout witticisms inscribed in men's rooms- that world view neither can nor should be separate from their work, nor should it be forced into it artificially. Rather the process begins before writing becomes an issue at allthe question is the extent to which their worldview is organically integrated into their lives. That vision of reality may then become manifested in a natural, effective way. Conviction of one sort or another lies at the root of all artistic activity-at the very least, there is a certain faith required in the effort to put words to paper at all, the conviction that communication actually means something, that one's vision- whether it be of a shimmering lake on a summer's day, reminiscences of youth, or the story about the short-order cook who went nuts and began clucking like a chicken as he angrily hurled hot-wings at the bar patrons on a 1-.fonday night- bears value. A certain tension between pride and humility is involved in writing, as welL The pride, I suppose, is connected to the conviction-for one who produces work is not merely saying, "Truth", but rather "Here is Truth, as I see it-and what I see is worth being remembered." Pride may be too pejorative a term, though; simple acknowledgement-of-self is not deadlypride. Rather, pride is the placing of that self outside the context of that greater picture-that picture which has a final end outside the self. Which leads naturally into the matter of humility: 1-.fany may find ridiculous the notion of writers being humble, given the generalization that writers- whether talented or suffering from the sadly in- 6 curable delusion of having talent- are self-centered bastards. I do not argue against the generalization-in my experience it has inevitably proven correct. Yet that very selfcenteredness is itself probably the greatest testament to humility. Given his temperament, it is positively amazing that the egoist Hemingway was able to reach through/beyond his ego, to paint images of the Spanish Civil War, bullfights, fishing- that is, of various things which touched Some may regard the metaphor of ego as hunting dog as rather stupid. But then the term "ego" itself is but metaphor, too; and is no more accurate, and carries too much baggage. Its derivation from Freudianism betrays the inclination to think of the human psyche as a mechanism, as clockwork. As often as not where "ego" is used I would employ the term "identity", and it is strange how big a difference a shift in words-from slightly negative connotation to definitively positive~can make. Not to say that "identity" is now without its detractors, as the degenerative corrosion of Western malaise takes its tolla couple years ago I heard a GI boldly, insightfully "questioning" why we assume hav- ing an identity is a good thing-va/ui11g identity is su~·h a Europea/1 idea. I upon him rather than what was him. And I contend that ego is not simply an obstacle to such painting, but rather an essential element of it; to sketch a landscape one must choose to stand, stolidly, in a particular place. One achieves nothing but meaningless blur by moving first over by a waterfall, then over by the rock, then to the clump of bushes and back again, over and over. The truth of the image created is directly indexed to the steadiness of the hand and eyes that are locked onto the original vision. Or perhaps an ego is like a good hunting dog-it has to have some energy and life in it, otherwise it never really gets up any "oomph" to get to work and just sits around licking itself, and the sneaky squirrels of truth elude the hunter. On the other hand, if the dog has too much energy and too little discipline, it is liable to gallop madly, wantonly, into a bear's den. Or worse, bite the hand that feeds it. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . didn't answer him, partly because I was confused as to who was actually doing the questioning and to whom I should reply- if, after all, identity was meaningless. And partly because I feared that luring him into a personal, face-to-face conversation between he and I - two unique individuals- might have interfered with his aspiration to attain the bliss of peaceful, formless anonymity. "Yea, verily, do not put a stumbling-block before your brother's search for Unum-Nirvana.'' "Love the sin, hate the sinner," expresses an obviously good if problematically difficult goal-whereas "Love the person, hate the personality," is an equally obvious contradiction. If one eschews individuality for sake of interchangeable anonymity, if we regard identity as illusion or amusing novelty rather than sacred mystery, then we have no business shaking hands with anybody or saying "hello", much .less in~ulging in any deeper display of personal affection. But of course the question boils down simply to the fact that neither I, nor you, possess an identity- nor a soul, nor a face. \\!e are identities, souls, faces. One sees the worth of that word, "are"- that is, of existence and being-or one does �not. And to whatever extent one does not, then one is not. The problem is ·not that identity exists, but that we do not know how to deal with it. And neither all-is-one denial of identity, nor existential fixation upon it, are much good in making progress toward such knowing. Writing is often taken as an exercise in introversion-this accounts for one-half of the decimated state of American letters. (I use "decimated" in the sense of quantity vs. quality ratio.) And the other half of the equation, sheer mercenary desire for money is the more innocent half. For in these mercenary cases, at least, the author of The Elf-Queen of Shamba!a: Volume Twelve of the Epic K11igbts of tbe Dragon~ Blood Series probably does not secretly preen a sense of lofty emotiointellectual grandeur. Most hackwriters know they are hack writers; I assure you, many even take a certain relish in the term. Easily recognizable mindcandy is at worst harmless, so long as it is not sole soul diet; mind-poison disguised as nourishment is an entirely different matter. And one of the most striking results of blossoming creative writing programs throughout the country has been a glut of quasi-poignant existential drama-comedies whose protagonists are not soldiers, whalers, explorers, nihilist revolutionaries, doctors, or coal-miners, but students in creative writing programs. Another result is superficial twaddle couched as daring taboo-busting, ala Tbe Da Vimi Code-which I must roll my eyes at not because it is sacrilege against the traditional church, but because it is formulaically-cheap sacrilege against storytelling: Grisham-Style +Jesus+ Sex +Turning Christian Scriptures Inside Out and Upside Down = Titillating, profitable $candal. lf7oo-hoo, call my bank. The only mercenaries I can't abide are ones who pass themselves off as profound, and to paraphrase Bogart: I don't mind blasphemers, per se- but I object to banal, cut-rate ones. The same goes for obscenity or gruesome use of violence. But back to the ego-question. Homer didn't talk about what it was like to be a blind Greek man. Nowhere in the I/!iad do we endure monologues regarding the poet's angst about being ocularly-challenged. The poet's identity was a lens by which to view a subject, not the subject itself. Homer's muse never sang of Homer, she sang of Achilles. Introspection is risky business. If a man wants to find himself he should remember: you cannot see your face by trying to turn your eyeballs inside out, but rather by seeking a mirror. Yet there is a danger to this, too; for we may forget that we ourselves are also mirrors-I may relegate others to the status of "supporting actors" in the egocentric existentialdrama/ comedy-of-my-life, forgetting that the term "my life" means even less than the term "my soul": There is no "my life", only Life, which we thoroughly inexperienced actors are lucky enough to all play supporting-roles in. And we are most certainly neither producers, nor scriptwriters, nor the stars. Stars, indeed. By staring intently and directly at a dim, distant star, we condemn ourselves to not seeing it. It is through the corners of our eyes that we may catch sight of the subtle, elusive sparks that light up the long, long night. Predator continued from front page glasses. Finding him still near the coffee shop, Jones asked him what exactly he thought he was doing on campus, when the man tried to run away. Eventually he did escape, but not before Jones and Heely had gotten his license plate number and called the Annapolis PD. Despite these bizarre and somewhat frightening events, Ms. Seeger believes there is "nothing to be terrified about." "These crimes are ahnost exclusively committed by people outside the college community. \'X'e are part of the real world, unfortunately, and we need to be alert." However, Ms. Seeger also considers it unlikely that there will be many more serious incidents this year. "The worst problem we ever had was a few muggings years ago that happened right on campus. T11e cdminals were caught, however. \Ve generally don't have security issues that are that serious." Still, students might prefer the comforting knowledge that, the next time they enter a bathroom, they're not going to hear: "that's cute. Can I touch it?" Part I: Checking For Political Continuity by Dan Rera \'X'ith the elections and the inauguration in the past, it seems America is embarking upon a new journey, suitable for a new administration. Any quahns about Iraq, outrages conceming Abu Ghraib, and desires to amend the constitution to ban homosexuals from marrying have been long forgotten. These issues were settled \.vith the most recent election; they were the 2004 issues. Syria, Iran and Social Security are the new concerns, fresh for 2005. George Bush stated directly, "I eamed capital in the campaign, political capital, and now I intend to spend it." This capital is dearly referring to a mandate which, in a democracy, consists in the approval of the majority of voting citizens. Taking that into consideration, Bush does not appear to be saying much beyond, 'We live in a democratic-republic, and I legitimately won the right to govern." Perhaps Bush was trying communicate something more insightful with his statement concerning "political capital." If we pay attention to the media and the \Xlhite House's most recent subjects of discussion, it becomes clear that what the newly elected president intended was more subtly, '~'\ny point of contention, or complaint conceming my administration has been settled as a direct result of my having won the 2004 election." Let me first say tl1at the American public needs to roundly reject this way of thinking. When the American people elect a leader, they are not electing his opinions on matters. They are electing a man they find suitable to make decisions on their behalf. There is a strong difference here. A hypothetical may help to clarify. Let us say Joe Bloggs is running for mayor of Annapolis. He has a very sensible policy on economics, he firmly supports law and order tempered "'ith the strong protection of civil liberties, and he believes polygamy is an important family value. He is running against Joe Blow, Continuity continued on back page . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Memorial continued from page 5 Thompson ha s long lived in the penumbra of fame's glow. His voice s611 echoes as the violently moral conscience of an ,-\merica hindered by its own progress. I can best imagine his role in America n poli6cs as that of a crotchety, gun-toting Jiminy Cricket, a pes6lential gadfly whom we can n either s tand nor do without. America truly lost a piece of its soul when Thompson decided to let a .45 caliber bullet be the final period of his life sto ry. But we must be careful not to let his tragic and (characteris tically?) selfis h death be seen as any more than what it truly is, a miniscule period at the end of a life story that few can ever claim to have surpas sed in quality and integrity. Thompson was, for better or worse, the true Ame rican m an: selfish, criminal, fearless, loyal, insufferable, inspired, and a dreamer of the highest order. Continuity continued form page 7 who, while opposing polygamy, supports communism, is a self-proclaimed white supremacist, and hates children. When Joe Bloggs Wldoubtedly wins, are we to imply from this that the majority ofAnnapolitans have voiced their opinions concerning polygamy? Certainly not, nor are we to asswne likewise that d1e majority tacitly approves of the way in which Bush is handling the war in Iraq, the war on terror, or any od1er one particular decision tl1e president has made before the election. But even if it were true tl1at tlus most recent election reflected that every person who cast a ballot for Bush had agreed with him on every issue, it should not mean tl1at we, as a country, ought to forget why these contentious points were issues, or what was at stake tluough our decisions. As time progresses, citizens leam more and more about the world and its affairs. People's tllinds are knO\vn to change. A beautifully recent example of dlis is the president's proposal to modify social security. The more time passes, the more citizens are rejecting it. The Washington Post, in observing tl1e trend, notes, "lvforeover, 58 percent of 8 Yom HaShoah Commemoration The United Jewish Council of Anne Arundal County and the USNAs Friends of the Jewish ChapeL.. pr w (tn1er Clips," about how eighth graders in j the horrific magnitude of the Holocaust rhers, parents, and their own efforts. -Free and open to the public -Tuesdqy, April 19th, 2005 at 7 PM -Francis Scott Kry Auditorium at St. Johns College DATE DUE For more information: www. tgc-aac.org those polled this time said the more they hear about Bush's plan, the less tl1ey like it. The . latest polling, combined with detailed interviews last week, shows tl1at Bush's drive to significantly alter rl1e 70-year-old national insurance program has run into significant hurdles with every age cohort." (\X'asllingtou Post: Tuesday, Jviarch 15, 2005; Page A01) The remarkable tiling to notice is tl1at people were judging the proposal without fully understanding the details. \Vhy did support for Bush's social security reform change from 50% to 35%, while those wiili no opinion only changed from 13% to 9%? It seems clear that people will offer their support to somerlling they do not fully understand. Tlus is a dangerous condition in a democracy. One can imagine a very plausible world in which the people of a democracy supported an agenda that tl1ey did not fully understand, and before all tl1e information was available, the people forgot about the issue because they considered it settled. Hopefully, no issue in American history, or even world history, is ever settled and forgotten. The greater goal ofhistorians ought to be to act as a guide to future people by documenting the natural lessons taught by hwnan folly and triumph. Since tl1e bias of individual lustorians, who wish to highlight to their read- ers certain parts of history wluch tl1ey find particularly striking, is so common as to be practically unavoidable, d1ose looking to understand the role of government in both domestic and foreign affairs must always seek ilie most sources possible in order to adequately judge an lustorical event. This is not too much to ask, even from most citizens. We owe it to ourselves to be our nation's continuity checkers. We should always keep in mind that democracy functions best when its citizens are best informed, and tills is better aclueved through the long-term tracking of major trends duough lustory. Not simply, "What is going on in Iraq right now?" Instead, "\XIhat has been ilie longstanding state of American-Iraqi relations over the last tllirty years that has lead to dlis current point?" This second question provides necessary context, \vithout which, our decisions are nearly meaningless. And so long as our decisions do not accuratdy reflect our true wills, in a way, we are not even offering approval to those we elect. Therefore, when George Bush tells us of his earned "political capital," we ought to remind ourselves tl1at he should only truly have the mandate of the people if the people are adequately voicing tl1eir wills. Otherwise, d1e president has not earned anything. . T HE GADFLY . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 19 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-03-22 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 19 of The Gadfly. Published March 22, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.19 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/50f59d9a367af46ae1add1cfb98ee7ce.pdf 5db82710b5850daddbe01617c522f109 PDF Text Text GADFLY The St. Johns College Student Week.!y Volume XXVI, Issue 21 Annapolis, Maryland April 5, 2005 The Republican "Culture of Life": Terri Schiavo by Daniel Harrell Tutor by Nick Colten Staff Writer "1virs. Schiavo's death is a moral pov- erty and a legal tragedy. This loss happened because our legal system did not protect the people who need protection most, and that will change. The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior, but not today. Today we grieve, we pray, and we hope to God this fate never befalls another!' -House 1\1ajority Leader Tom DeLay This statement, and the man who expressed it, has much to say about the troubling state of Republican-and therefore American-politics. J\t[r. DeLay's involvement in the Schiavo controversy was worst than most. His interest in the matter was not a principled one. Years ago DeLay's father had suffered irrecoverable brain damage and DeLay chose to allow him to die. DeLay had taken up the Schiavo case in order to gain support from religious extremists in the hopes that they will blindly stand with him against the many ethical and criminal investigations of which he is the subject. DeLay has gone as far as to shamefully-and unsubtlyargue that both he and Terri Shiavo are the victims of a vast left-wing conspiracy. But regardless of the man himself, there are his words. Perhaps Terri Schiavo's death is an incident of moral poverty-but that is rather debatable. At the very least, the "life at any cost" moral argument is not one that most Americans subscribe to. It is particularly strange to me that the people who do take this position consider them- Senior Orals Part Two ©St. Petersburg Times selves Christian. If Terri Schiavo has a soul, and it's attached to her body until her death, it seems rather cruel to keep it stuck on Earth for 15 years tied to a nonfunctioning brain. Why prolong her separation from God? As for it being a legal tragedy, how so? At the state level, the courts did what they were supposed to: they carefully, and repeatedly, listened to the merits of the case and ruled accordingly. The federal courts, including the U.S. Supreme Court had no proper role in the matter, and when they were forced to take on the case they acted in accordance with the legal pre~ cedence-something that all supporters oflimited government ought to applaud. Is the "tragedy" that we have independent courts that are respectful of the law? Did the courts fail to protect a person most in need of protection? Part of this question rests on what we consider a person to be and what we think people need Schiavo continued on page 2 Let us describe a circle of some arbitrary circumference. Then, from some equally arbitrary point outside it, let us draw a straight line to its center. In drawing this line, we have evidently made a continuous motion from the first point to the second, traveling a certain length of space in a certain length of time. Let us suppose we measure these lengths, and find we have traveled exactly three inches in two seconds flat. By traveling this far this long, however, we have changed not only our position, but also our place. For we were first outside, but are now inside, the circle we described. So did this change of place also take three inches and two seconds to accomplish? In one sense it did, for in one sense our change in place was accomplished by our change of position. But we might wonder whether this is how long our change in place had to take. Would we always have to go that far, that long, to get inside our circle? Apparently not. \Ve can see another sense in which there seem to be many changes of position, of spatial or temporal lengths both longer and shorter than the one we happened to make, which would accomplish this same change in place. Let us draw our straight line at the same rate of speed, but now begin and end it at points closer to either side of our circle's boundary than the points we originally took. Our line will now represent a smaller spatial or temporal length by which we might change our place. Orals continued on page 7 �THE Schiavo continued from front page t~~trGA D FLY Editors-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Shoshana Goldstein Photographer Clark Saylor Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Chris Bartos NickColten Matt Gates Daniel Harrell Dan Schwartz Ben Strickland Elliot Zuckerman Too Much Education the government to protect them from. Is it an affront to human dignity to maintain someone like that? Is a non-sentient being even really human? If we are supposed to "err on the side of life," as President Bush and others claim, what are we to make of the Republican Party's penchant for war, execution and torture? The fact is that when it comes to ''1be Culture ofLife" the Republican Party-and many of their constituents construe it rather narrowly-as opposed to the Roman Catholic Church for instance. \X'hen Republicans talk about "protecting life" they mean only one thing: abortion-a subject best left for my next article. Perhaps the most troubling section of DeLay's statement is its claim that the "men responsible" will "answer for their behavior." At least two Democratic Senators-Kennedy and by Chris Bartos Recently I was perusing the Duke University's website thinking ofaHigh SchoolFriendnowstudyingthere. Since this time ofyear is when all the High School Seniors are receiving letters ofacceptance and denial,Duke,ofccurse,haditsnewadmissionnumbers out The headline boasted of offering admis- sion to 3,949 students for the class of 2009. The anicle said that this was the number of students admitted fromapoolof18,062. The writers made note ofthe fuctthatDuke only accepted 41% ofthe 1,500valedictorians and less than 50% ofthose who scored 1500 on the SAT. 1be sad fact is these students don't seem to be true students. Just a few anicles underneath that was the headline "President Brodhead urges undergtaduates to be 'active seekers' in their education." I don't mean Lautenberg--have noted that this bnguage could be construed as an incitement to violence against the judges that have been involved with the case, to bash Duke solely; it is an excellent school which has excellent scholars whose research contributes and they have asked DeLay to clarify that that Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as' well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not nccessarilly represent the opinion.." of the Gadjfy staff. The Gadffy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way ncces~;ary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadjfy is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. was not his intention. He has thus far refused to do so, calling such requests crass politicking. Assuming the statement ought not to be taken as an encouragement to kill-how exactly are these people supposed to answer for their behavior? Does DeLay intend to impeach all the judges who ruled in favor of Terri Schiavo's husband? If so, thatwould be a rather extraordinary attack on judicial independence, but consistent with the Congress' attempt to get the federal courts to ignore legal norms and overrule the consistent state court rulings. Does he mean that God is going to get these men--either by smiting ordamnation?If so, why speak of it in the greatly to all of humanity- and I'm sure the studentsarebrighttoo. Butthisdoesn'tdenythatthere is still a problem. 'Whyisitthatthepresidentofone of our nation's most prestigious universities finds it necessary to tell his students to be "active seekers" of their education? Perhaps I have been at StJohn's for too long, but isn't that what being a student is all about? Education continued on page 6 A Question for the Cookie Monsters way that he did? Lastly, what is the point of grieving? Are they concerned that Terri Srniavo might have gone to Hell as a suicide because she told her husband that she did not want to subsist in a permanent vegetative state-an argument that her parents' lawyers actually resorted to in court? \That are I am notoriously fundofcookies, and on Friday night the cookies were all eaten up by the time i got tot he reception after Christopher Hinterhuber's recital Butmycomplaintis less selfish than thatimpllies. Itwas embarrassing for the College itself that when Herr Hintethuber himself got to the reception, all they praying for? For vengeance against the husband and the judges, for lawmakers to deny le- Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail ~mbmissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. gal guardians the right to make medical decisions? \Xlhat exactly is the fate that they are hoping will not befall another? Is it euthanasia, family conflict, falling into a permanent vegetative state? And why bring God into it? Presumably there was much "hoping to God" that Schiavo was not going to die last week; what to make of the fact that she did? It would seem to be grounds for concluding that such hopes are of rather dubious value. 2 the refreshments were gone. Most of our students seem to be unaware of an obvious rule of simple courtesy, namely that one does not partake of refreshments until the guest ofhonor has arrived and has had some himsle£ Do you think that at future receptions the Music Librarian or the Concert Com- mittee should be asked to post signs asking the guests to refrain? . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Christians' Critiques "We're High Church. We're Straight. Get Used to It." by Matt Gates Staff Writer Dear CC, Should I drink a Pinot Noir or a Shiraz with Shabbas dinner? Amorously Disarming, Admirable Man; Gosh, Although Rabinical, Bodacious Erudite Rabbi Dear ADAM GARBER, Try a Manischewitz. It tastes more like blood. Dear CC, I have noticed a glut of vegan meat I recently purchased a plenary indul~ gence. A member of the Texas nobility has offered to buy it from me for a sub~ stantial sum of filthy lucre, thirty pieces of silver, to be exact. Are there eternal consequences for the resale of plenary indulgences, particularly to Protestants? Basmati Rice Includes All Niceties Now and Evermore Because Each Ladle is Loaded Dear BRIANNEBELL, The Church has the power to bind and loose on earth. It also, however, has the power to outsource. To ensure that Her outsourcing of the indulgence to you is official, have the indulgence baptized with yourself as the Godmother. dishes in Cafe Randal this Lent. Ordinarily, I would be overjoyed. However, I fear in my soul that they may have been prepared at the behest of smelly hippies. Is it all right for a good Orthodox boy to devour this faux flesh? Succulent Insects Make Easter Osprey Now More Oderifously Raucus and Bombastic Every Year Dear SIMEONMORBEY, The Senior Synod has found, in accordance with ancient tradition and canon law, that the consumption of soy meat during Lent is permissible only if you butcher, cure, and cook the soy animal yourself. Was there pre~ prepared soy meat in nine~ teenth~century Russia? I am thinking "no." We were hunting soy~beast on snowy Siberian steppes. This week's contest: Take Gates on a date and get a FREE GLOW-IN-THEDARK l\!ADONNA FIGURE. He's desperate, so there's really no contest at all and he'll even pick up the tab. Circle Y / N. (W'ill \Vhitaker is not eligible to enter this contest. Offer not valid in Delaware. 5 cent refund in New Hampshire). CC's Axioses: Axios to Jew's Clues. You guys are fun to make fun of. Axios to Fred Erdman on getting con~ firmed. Axios to John Paul II. The Mitchell Gallery invites you to particzpate in The St. John's College Community Art Exhibition May5-May15,2005 Students: Please deliver 2~dimensional work to the l\1itchell Gallery for free matting and framing on Tuesday, April26, between 12-5 p.m. Deliver 3~dimensional work either through Fine Arts instructors Debra Banker orJohn Jensen, or directly to the Mitchell Gallery on Saturday, April 30111 between noon and 3:00p.m. Staff and Tutors: Please deliver 2 and 3~dimensional work to the Mitchell Gallery on Sunday, JVIay 1' 1 between 11:00 a.m. and 3:00p.m. Seniors (A'05): Selection of the Charles Vernon JVIoran Prize will take place during the first week of l'vfay. This prize is awarded to a member of the se~ nior class who submits the best work of visual art to the St. JohnS College Community Art Exhibition. If you have any questions, please call Hydee Schaller in the l\litchell Gallery at ext. 2556 or 410-626-2556. Thank you. Dear CC, Orioles vs. NY Yankees at Camden Yards on Sat. April 16th. Buy your ticket at 7:30 in the coffee shop on Thursday, April 7th. Tickets cost $10 (one per person ONLY, thanks!) . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Saturday! The student committee on Instruction•s All college Picnic April gth from 12-3 pm All members of the polity are invited! If it's sunny we will be on the back lawn, if it rains we will move into the FSK lobby Food will be provided, although if you would like to bring something please do! 4 . . . . ' . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �An Objective Portrait of AynRand by Daniel Schwartz Staff Writer rand: ~q. L1se of ' There have been few philosophers more hated than Ayn Rand, few philosophers more loved than Ayn Rand. Articles in the Gadfly and in other college newspapers across the country have ridiculed and misrepresented her philosophy of Objectivism, but somehow, over two decades after her death, Ayn Rand's books sell over 500,000 copies each year. Intellectuals, however, rarely give her philosophy a fair hear- ing, largely ignoring or maligning her one-ofa-kind approach to many of philosophy's toughest questions. Ayn Rand: A Sense qf Lfi, nominated for an Academy Award in 1997, gives Ayn Rand a fair hearing, and The Objectivist Club is showing it this Saturday at 8 pm in FSK. The film lets Ayn Rand speak for herself, in large part. For example, we see portions ofher early television interview with :Mike Wallace and her later interviews with Phil Donahue, and we hear excerpts from her journal entries and personal papers. If you are unfamiliar with Objectivism, you do get a sense of what it meant to Rand by watching her fascinating life-from her early childhood and escape from Soviet Russia, to her testimony before HUAC, to her struggles and triumphs as a writer. Personally, I find it inspiring to watch a philosopher in action who practiced what she preached. "My personal life," Ayn Rand once said, "is a postscript to my novels; it consists of the sentence: ;Attd I mean it. , Take advantage of this opportunity for a rare glimpse of a revolutionary thinker, and while you are at it, take advantage of the free candy and soda that will be available. At the end of the film, I encourage you all to make up your own mind about whether Ayn Rand merits your further interest-and to act accordingly. Interest permitting, a period of questions and conversation will follow the film. saturday, april 9, 2005 8pm fsk auditorium free admission JEWS' CLUES REMINDER The Jews' Clues Win $75 Contest is almost over! Your submissions must be in by THIS SUNDAY, APRlL 10 at 2:00PM to win, so you can take your date out THIS SATURDAY and write about it THE NE2>.'T MORNING. Again, to win: - Invent the most fantastic and/ or hilarious date you can imagine; - Invite someone on the date. Preferably not any of the Fe kids, but we guess that'll do in a pinch; - Write about what happened to Max Kronberg, Campus Mail or e-mail to SJCJEWSNEWS@YAHOO.COM (that's jewsnews not jewsclues) - Bonus points for sending us secondary evidence (photographs, 2 m.iddie hats, etc) Whoever made the best date happen will be the big winner. All submissions become the property of the liberal Jew-run media. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �Education continued from page 2 \X!hether or not I have been at St. John's too long is inconsequential. The stateof.American educationisfarshortofanA+. Educationhasbecome more about the process than about the end learn- ing to think. But why has this occurred? One possibility might be over-education. Please allow me to explain before you think me foolish. Our society emphasizes education on all levels- from Pre-kinder- garten (and sometimes even before) up to college level and beyond With all of this have come the great advances we have in science and technology and the arts. However, this means that a person who wants a job in just about any field must have advanced specialized knowledge. This can increasingly only be found at college. Of course we want all Americans and world citizens to be more educated. However, by increasing thelevelatwhich basic education must occur to land a job (whatneededonlyahighschoolorlesser education one hundred years ago now needs a two or four-year degree) weina:ease the level atwhich real education ( ak.a thi11klilj; can occur and thus, it becomes more elusive. This is the problem with education in an egalitarian society. The more frightening fact however, is that we dilute the value of thinking; There are a few options to solving these problems. We could make colleges more selective: only accept students who want to study philosophy or some other critical thinking field; obviously, not a popnlar choice. Secondly, force the kids to take thinking courses who would otherwise just want to come to college to study somethingwit:hout much thinking; this is kno\vn as the core cunirulum at many schools. Last of all, and I think the best but leastprobable, teach thinking in our secondary education system. Why is it not probable? Because we want ewryo11e to be educated. Let's face it; some students just do not want to think. Ifwe attempted to force actual thinking into the secondary school system problems would arise. It would be too difficult for both the teachers and students alike. The teachers have been churned through this system and have "studied'' education for the sole putpose ofteaching children. How can we expect students who don't want to think, to learn? Andhowcanweexpectteacherswho might not know how to think, to teach? So do we just kick outevetybodyin our secondary school system who doesn't want to think? It's a possibility, although probably not a good one. Again, our society mandates this type of "education" in order to get a decent job. We would be denying these students a shot at life if we did this. So what becomes of thinking? It becomes de- valuedandit>adberent>aresentintoDiaspon They will be the ones who make a distinct appearance in our undersmnding of humanity, life, God, each other, science,mathandnumerous other fields. They v.ill be held together in a sort of tacit, mutnal and secret fraternal organization. And like Socrates and Aristode, theyv.ill be under-appreciated or maybe even killed (Abraham Lincoln ring a bell?). It makes me wonder, is it really worth it? by Ben Strickland ONCE AGAIN MS. SYREN MANAGES TO DOMINATE THE DISCUSSION. 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Orals continued from ftont page One could even divide our straight line in half, and shift this half-length over so that its midpoint coincides with our circle's boundary. We would now have a new line that crosses our circle's boundary, so serving us just as well in carrying us from outside to inside, yet accomplishing it in half the distance and half the time. We could reduce our trip in this fashion repeatedly. Halving our original line six times in succession, for example, would reduce any trip from outside to inside to 1/64 of its original magnitude. Presumably, our trip's magnitude could be halved unendingly, to as small a fraction of the original magnitude as we please. But does this mean our trip could finally be reduced to nothing in length? Could we change our place by traveling no distance at all? Impossible. Or is it? To get inside a circle we are outside of, after all, it seems we merely need to cross the circle's boundary. A trip of sufficient length, we might suppose, would be no longer-nor shorter-than the boundary itself measured crosswise, which is to say along its breadth. So how long is that? Not long at all. If we believe Euclid, in fact, this boundary has no length measured crosswise. In the definitions comprising the first book of his Elements, we are told among other things that every circle is bounded by a line, while every line is a length without breadth. It follows, then, that every circle is bounded by a length without breadth. Clear enough. Its implications for our trip, however, are not so clear. For if this boundary is indeed breadthless, it would seem to make the shortest trip we could take to cross it lengthless. In crossing our circle's boundary, it looks indeed like we travel no distance at all. Getting from outside to inside our circle-could this really be made so easy that we accomplish it going zero inches in zero seconds flat? Crossing means staying right where we are? Moving means standing still? I said this was easy-I meant impossible. For how could we change our place without moving a lick? We seem to have traded motion for magic. Let us grant Euclid's clarity about our boundary's size, and agree it has none in the direction we cross. Still, there seems tainly no portion of-the circle itself. In then coming to the boundary of this circle in the drawing of our line, it would seem that we haven't even reached-much less penetrated-the circle itself. We are still outside it, having arrived at what only bounds it. Or as we more exactly learn from Book III of the E!eme11ts: in having arrived at what only bounds it, we are now on the circle. Not still off it, nor yet in it, but on it. The possible relevance of tangency here seems to have slipped our mind. What apparently amounts to nothing in the boundary insofar as we can cross it, still amounts to something-but what?-insofar as we can touch it. Or more exactlyinsofar as we can touch the circle it contains by meeting it. It looks like this boundary marks the beginning not of the circle's inside, but rather its outside. Maybe the boundary even embodies it. Euclid characterizes it, at any rate, as if this boundary gave an exterior to the circle that then separated-not conjoined-the outside and inside we exchange in changing our place. At the circle's boundary, we would not be where outside and inside meet, but rather where they divide. We are again not off the circle-and so outinside our circle? No time at ali-in hap- side it; nor in the circle-and so inside it. pening in an instant. We do indeed change We are on it. And in any motion through our place by going zero inches in zero sec- the circle, we will reach a boundary that onds flat. For the change of place hap- marks the precise middle of our change pens right here, right now-at the exact in place. Right there and then, we shall be point in space and time that we cross the exactly between the outside we're coming circle's boundary in the drawing of our from, and the inside we're coming to. Our change of place, then, seems not line. The circle's boundary, in this sense, would be a mere delineation of where out- to happen at the boundary, but once again across it, over it, through it. However it side ends and inside begins. Well, we might be tempted to think happens, we accomplish it, somehow, by so, but Euclid didn't seem to think so. moving breadthwise a breadthless For again in his Eleme11ts' first book of amount. Let us draw a straight line from definitions, we are told that every figure anywhere outside to anywhere inside a is contained by-not composed of-its circle, and we are guaranteed to undergo a boundary. The circle, then, is bounded perplexing change in place that happens by-not built of-a length without neither at any one point along the way, breadth. And necessarily so, it seems, if nor between any two. So again-what kind of crossing is this boundary is indee"d to enclose, rather than continue, a figure with breadth. Con- this? What did we cross? And how did taining any planar figure would seem to we cross it? And anyway, what do any of mean terminating its breadth, negating its these questions or their answers have to breadth, drawing its inherent do with Senior Orals? breadthfulness to a close in the I do have a further suggestion or two breadthless. But this intelligible difference to make, which I think will address all in kind, even dimension, between bound- these questions-if not quite answer ary and figure would suggest that the them-in a single conceptual stroke .... circle's boundary is no part of-and cerTo be continued next week to be an obscurity about what this finally means. For what kind of crossing is this? In what sense, exactly, have we actually crossed anything? But perhaps there isn't anything here to be crossed. For if our trip from the circle's outside to its inside can be absurdly reduced to nothing in length, then perhaps this change in place doesn't happen in terms of length. It would indeed be lengthless-in happening at a point. How long does it take to get from outside to . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY DATE DUE I St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Things are finally s~~ ~ -~~ _ _ rm up. And it's a well- known fact that when it's warm outside, people do things that are fun. What should you be looking forward to? APRIL APRIL APRIL APRIL APRIL APRIL MAY 6 10 ~ 5:00 pm - CONCERT IH THE GREAT HALL 16 9 8:00 pm - SUPER SECRET MYSTERY MOUIE 16 ~ 10: 00 pm - KAFFEHAUS IN FSK 18 ~ 9:00 pm - SENIOR PRAHK 23 9 1: 00pm- CROQUET 29 thru MAY 1 - KWP PRESENTS ANTIGONE thru MAY 8 all day - REALITY WEEKEND ... Some of you may be wondering what the Mystery Mouie is this year • ~~~~~~~ 8 : . . . . . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . .. . . . . .. . . .. . � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 21 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-04-05 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 21 of The Gadfly. Published April 5, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.21 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/e9e6099a28320ca5269f5be9af6c0d7d.pdf ece36b4c2390a87c25486d2d17eb6b38 PDF Text Text j_j_ I 1 J GADFLY The St. Johns College Student Weekly Volume XXVI, Issue 22 Annapolis, Maryland ApnJ 12, 2005 Part II: Section b: Weapons of Mass Destruction by Dan Rera Calm after the Storm: All-College Picnic by Willis McCumber Staff Writer close to the picnickers. Two young sisters, tutor's children, gave each other piggy-back rides, but the smaller The college picnic was a civilized way for the polity to redeem itself after the widespread depravation and ignominy of Senior Prank. It also provided a useful venue for those students particularly ignominious and depraved to piece together their actions from the previous night. To any outside observer, the picnic would have appeared lighthearted, reminiscent of a holiday on the beach, complete with airy swing music, romping children, barefoot soccer, one beach umbrella, and sprawl- ing, youthful, healthy bodies. Still, this harmonious scene was not without its moments of dissonance. One febbie found that the airy swing music distracted him from the Apology, and had to leave. Once or twice the Frisbee veered stumbled and fell under the weight of the larger. Some students got sunburned for the first time this year. Barefoot soccer became clogged with dozens of small children unversed in passing, thus lowering the level of play. Some of the chicken tested slightly raw, but a helpful warning from those manning the grill forestalled serious injury. Many students were surprised to discover that the tutors have lives of their own, replete with wives, husbands, children, idle conversation, and sports abilities. For much of the year, they seem to be genii of the seminar table or tutorial room, and so it was somewhat surprisPicnic continued on page 5 While most weapons Iraq had acquired before 1990 were from the United States directly, (despite knowing of Iraq's atrocious human rights violations occurring at the same time: see Section a) the primary, in fact sole, motivation for war with Iraq was presented as the threat of weapons of mass destruction. The only other case for war was made by citing dubious claims of Iraq (a secularist state) having funded and strengthened al Qaeda terrorists (an Islamic fundamentalist group). This justification failed to arouse a sense of urgency in the American public for three reasons: one, the connection between these two very different organizations was not substantiated by any real evidence; two, the same claim could easily be made of either Saudi Arabia or the United States itself; and three, support for al Qaeda did not seem as pressing without weapons of mass destruction being provided to the group. Therefore, the only justification that had a shred of legitimacy was the one based on Iraq having weapons of mass destruction, and Saddam Hussein attempting to use them or distribute them to rogue nations. Let us now investigate one of the greatest cases for these weapons. Weapons continued on page 5 �Senior Skit Editors-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Shoshana Goldstein Photographer Clark Saylor Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Brent Morris Aaron Brager John Peterson Nina Carrieri DanRera NickColten Ervin Romero .Anllrthanayagam David Jerry Salyer Jordan Gannon Ben Strickland John Gerard Sean Valles Daniel Harrell Elliott Zuckerman Patricia Locke Willis McCumber Founded in 1980, the Gadj(y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadf(y staff. The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Dear Polity, The Senior Prank Skit-Writing Committee would like to thank everyone who was involved this year: the actors, the set builders, light and sound, stage crew, "Mr. David and the faculty, and the rest of the polity for being such great sports. We enjoyed ourselves immensely and will never forget the experience. If we offended anyone, we apologize; know that we wished only to share our joy with you all. Furthermore, we wish the junior class the best ofluckin their skit writing efforts. And thank you Matt Mangold, whom we had the pleasure of pranking personally-you truly are a child of God. Cheers. P.S., Props to Chuck Anderson and Dan 11alkiel, who set the bar of comedic achievement so high. We hope that future efforts will be as grand and ridiculous. -The Senior Prank Skit-Writing Committee of 2005: John Gerard Jordan Gannon Brent Morris John Peterson Ervin Romero Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadffy is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. A Question for the Cookie Monsters I am notoriously fond of cookies, and on Fridaynightthecookies were all eaten up by the time I got to the reception after ChristopberHintethubeis recital But my complaint is less selfish than that impllies. I twas embarrassing for the College itself that when Herr Hintethuber himself got to the reception, all the refreslunentswere gone. Most of our students seem to be unaware of an obvious rule of simple courtesy, ruunely that one does not partake of refreslunents until the guest of honor has arrived and has had some himself Do you think that at future receprions 1he 1\fusic Ubrarian or the Concert Committee should be asked to post signs asking the guests to refrain? Sincerely, Elliott Zuckerman 11a~c Flute Jrhan~ous The Magic Flute trips were made possible by several generous board members. I would like to thank them on behalf of the sophomores and music tutors. If anyone would like to write a personal note of thanks to these anonymous donors, please address it, "Dear Board Members," and send it to me through Campus Mail. I will see that they receive your note. Patricia Locke Tutor 2 THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Senior Orals Part Three by Daniel Harrell Tutor Last week, we saw how drawing a straight line into a circle is easy to do, but hard to explain. The change in our position, which has a definite length, comes with a perplexing change in place that lacks any such definite length. To get inside a circle we are outside of, so we supposed, we need only cross the circle's boundary, making a trip of sufficient length neither longer nor shorter than the boundary itself. And how long is that?-we asked. Not long at all-or so we thought. Indeed, given Euclid's definition of a line, which denies to every line any breadth and so renders our circle's boundary breadthless, we were ready to infer that our trip would have no length at all. And none it would-if we indeed traveled across this boundary breadthwise. But if we traveled across it lengthwise, our trip would now be as long as the line itself in length. And how long is that? Quite long. If we believe Euclid, in fact, the trip in this direction would never end. For again among the definitions in Book I of the Elements, we are told not only that every line is a length without breadth, but also that the extremities of every line are points. These points presumably determine every line's length. In being lengthless-indeed, partless-they bring to an end what would otherwise continue in length without end. The length of our circle's boundary, then, will be determined by its extremities: those points, wherever they might lie, at which-even in which-this line is finally terminated. So where might they lie in the boundary of our circle? Nowhere, apparently. Our circle's boundary seems to continue in length without end, albeit in an ever-changing direction that slowly but surely carries this line back upon itself. True, this allows any point along it to be conceived as a place of origination and termination oflength at once, and perhaps from this we could come to some like conception of our boundary's possible length. But we would need no such conception if this line possessed the two actual points that, according to Euclid's definition, would count as its extremities unequivocally, and give to this line some similarly unequivocal length. Any speculation about this boundary's potentially definite length, then, would seem to be a mark of its actual indefiniteness. Let us conclude, then, that our circle's boundary has no definite length in either of its two directions. Breadthwise it has no length at all; while lengthwise it has length without end. But in neither direction, then, can we reckon a distance we can actually cross, and the meaning of this crossing remains as perplexing as ever. And anyway, we didn't-indeed couldn't-cross the boundary lengthwise. Our crossing, after all, carried us into the circle once, not around it repeat- edly. Indeed it does carry us into the circle once. This is why, in truth, we cross the boundary lengthwise, not breadthwise. Or more exactly, as I shall now want to suggest: our crossing this boundary once breadthwise is a way crossing it once lengthwise-thereby carrying us through an endless length in its entirety, from beginning to end. And while we were perplexed by how we changed our place by going no distance, we should rather be perplexed by how we changed our place by going an infinite distance. This suggestion is less odd than it might sound. For consider what would happen if our circle's boundary possessed actual extremities. It would then begin at one point and end at yet another. As a result, it would never come back upon itself, and thus never become the planar boundary that it is. Its very lack of extremities, which renders it endless in length, also allows it to enclose space rather than merely delineate it. Its endlessness, I would suggest, is a function of its exhaustiveness. Since the circle's boundary is completely encompassing, it divides, between an inside and an outside, the entire endless expanse of geometric space. Getting inside a circle we're outside of, then, in only one sense means crossing nothing at all; in another sense-I'd call it a deeper sense-it seems to mean crossing everything at once. For the circle's boundary gives a meaning of place beyond mere position to where we are, wherever we might be. With respect to place, it is a division of everything in this geometric world that there is or could be, which thus, with respect to place, leaves nothing in that world unaccounted for. And if we ever change our place, no matter where we might be to begin it, it will only be by going across this boundary that we can end it. As a matter of magnitude-from here to there-this may involve going breadthwise no distance at all; but as a matter of meaning-where here is outside and there is inside-it is also to go lengthwise-yes-an infinite distance. For Senior Orals continued on back page TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE FOR THIS SATURDAY'S BASEBALLGAMEAT CAMDEN YARDS IN BALTIMORE: Orioles vs. New York Yankees Sat. April16, 4:35PM call Nina Carrieri at X2357 for tickets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Stop Taking Yourself So P-ing Seriously: Jesus 'N Friends by Sean "The Devil" Valles Staff Writer This column should probably be prefaced with the story of why I am writing it. I was walking through the coffee shop and was immediately grabbed by the arm and dragged to a copy of the Gadfly sitting on the table. When I looked down I saw the hand of my friend. She was pointing an accusatory finger at what she called "the most narcissistic thing" she had ever read, Mr. Cohen's recent article on Terri Schiavo. "But wait there's more," I was told. She then pointed at the sentence indicating that there would be a Flaumenhaft-esque third part. Though I do not share the magnitude of my friend's feelings, I do agree that the article's flippant and lazily reactionary tone is completely unhelpful to the political doctrine that it attempts to espouse. There are two totally legitimate sides on the euthanasia debate. Some people believe that no body that can be considered "alive'' should ever be destroyed. This includes fetuses, mental vegetables, and capital criminals. Others believe that fully formed and fully capable life forms should be considered above the marginal ones, and thus abortion is a decision of the mother and the mentally incapable are under the full authority of their next-ofkin. However, deviations from these two extremes occur. One of the most common is the opinion, generally associated with extremist protestant sects, that all life is truly sacred ... but that capital criminals and Iraqi P.O.Ws do not qualify. And I agree with J\{r. Colten that this hybrid opinion is difficult to swallow. But for Mr. Cohen that's not where the problem ends. The problem with Mr. Cohen's article, so far as I can tell, is that to him, the apparent hypocrisy of the aforementioned opinion somehow invalidates the entirety of all the opinions. Just because it is somehow incongruous to support military torture and/ or capital punishment and also claim that all life is sacred does not mean that any of those various positions is invalidated by the incongruity. 4 I also think that it is total bull to say that all life is sacred and that P.O.W.s have it coming when they are raped, beaten and generally messed up or murdered. But that does not mean there is no validity to the claim that Mr. Schiavo should not be able to pull the plug on his still-breathing wife. Mr. Cohen's acidic rhetorical question, "why prolong her separation from God," is stinging enough to make even me cringe at the sarcasm-turned-spite. Even worse is his more general claim (again formulated as a question) that a '"life at any cost' moral argument" is unchristian. I don't know what Mr. Cohen's conception of the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth is, but I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree on these two points. Religious nuts that don't believe in the sanctity of mortal life are the ones we should all be afraid or disdainful of. Anti-abortion and antieuthanasia protestors bug the hell out of me too with their fiery biblical rhetoric and condescending protest signs, but I prefer them to the Left Behind-obsessed apocalyptic asses who espouse the aforementioned view of "why not bring souls to God sooner?" I also take issue with Mr. Colten's feigned absolute support for Supreme Court decisions. It is exactly that same . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . mind-set of "respect the rule oflaw" that led to the Dred Scott decision and its epic setback of the abolitionist cause. Enforcing the status quo is not the sole occupation of the judicial system. Certainly no liberal could think that it is, given that so many liberal causes have been furthered so effectively by court decisions. Finally, I come to Mr. Cohen's stupendously crass question, "what's the point of grieving?" Since he asked, I guess I'll take stab at this one. It's because she was a bulimic woman who got so screwed up by her eating disorder that she became a freaking vegetable, and who died a pathetic degenerative death like a plant that a gardener forgot to water. That's a really f-ed up way to go, no matter what your destination is. I don't know why Mr. Colten seems to have it out for Christianity and/ or its adherents. Perhaps he was bitten by a \\!ere-Christian as a child and is forced to transform under the light of a full moon into a deranged disciple of God, pouncing upon food shelters and volunteering his time, or even handing out pamphlets at Planned Parenthood locations. Such a fate could drive a man ... to madness. Or maybe I just don't get it. Either way I'm pretty sure you need to stop taking yourself so f-ing seriously, man. �Weapons continued from front page The first Iraqi-American conflict began on August 2, 1990, and it shattered all friendly relationships between the two nations. While the Iraqi military was able to sustain an effort against the tremendous force of the U.S. military, mostly by using the modern technology provided to them by the United States only two years prior, the conflict ended on March 3, 1991 with the Iraqi government accepting a cease fire. After the dust had settled, figures estimate the number of Iraqi dead at 20,000 military and 2,300 civilian. The United States suffered 148 killed in action and 458 wounded. (Neither the Iraqi or American tolls reflect those who died or were injured as a result of the United States using depleted uranium tipped munitions, which, while cheaper and stronger than lead, may have led to cancer in both American soldiers and Iraqi civilians, and may have caused the unusually high rate of birth deformities, 67 percent, of children of Gulf War veterans.) In response to Iraqi aggression, the United Nations passed resolutions 661, 687, and 712. These effectively cut off foreign aid to Iraq and attempted to prevent Iraq from pursuing weapons of mass destruction. Putting resolution 687 into effect, the United Nations Special Commission (UNSCOM) entered the nation with the stated goal of removing these weapons. The search appeared to be a complete waste as all inspections turned up empty handed. In 1995, General Hussein Kamel defected from Iraq. As minister of industry and minerals, he oversaw all weapons productions in the country and was the best source of information about what type of threat the world was facing concerning Saddam Hussein and WMDs. Kamel told the UN, U.S., and the U.K. that Iraq had produced weapons-grade anthrax as the primary focus of their biological program. Saddam Hussein, caught red handed, admitted to having an "offensive biological program." This testimony along with a modified UNSCOM report from October 11, 1995, served as the primary justification for the war in Iraq. The report stated simply in one paragraph, "In summary, Iraq has declared the production of at least 19,000 litres of concentrated botulinum toxin (nearly 10,000 litres were filled into munitions), 8,500 litres of concentrated anthrax (some 6,500 litres were filled into munitions) and 2,200 litres of concentrated aflatoxin (1,580 litres were filled into munitions);" From this exaggerated cases began being made. George W Bush in October 2002 said, "In 1995, after several years of deceit by the Iraqi regime, the head of Iraq's military industries defected. It was then that the regime was forced to admit that it had produced more than 30,000 liters of anthrax and other deadly biological agents. The inspectors, however, concluded that Iraq had likely produced two to four times that amount. This is a massive stockpile of biological weapons that has never been accounted for, and capable of killing millions." Colin Powell stated before the UN, "Iraq declared 8,500 liters of anthrax, but UNSCOM estimates that Saddam Hussein could have produced 25,000 liters. If concentrated into this dry form, this amount would be enough to fill tens upon tens upon tens of thousands of teaspoons. And Saddam Hussein has not verifiably accounted for even one teaspoon full of this deadly material." Tony Blair proclaimed, "The UN inspectors found no trace at all of Saddam's offensive biological weapons programme -which he claimed didn't exist- until his lies were revealed by his son in law (Kamel). Only then did the inspectors find over 8,000 litres of concentrated anthrax and other biological weapons, and a factory to make more." Sadly, it appears that none of these men continued to read the UNSCOM document beyond that paragraph cited earlier. The report goes on to say that the 6,500 liters of anthrax, which were loaded into munitions, were test fired and therefore were used and destroyed. The report also states, "About 8,000 litres of concentrated botulinum toxin, over 2,000 litres of concentrated anthrax, 340 litres of concentrated perfringens and an unspecified quantity of aflatoxin, according to Iraq's declaration, were destroyed at Al Hakam." That accounts for the rest of the anthrax. In fact, the nail in the coffin to the entire WlvfD case was the testimony of General Hussein Kamel himself. In an interview with UNSCOM officials he cat- egorically stated, "We gave instructions not to produce chemical weapons. I don't remember resumption of chemical weapon production before the Gulf War. Maybe it was only minimal production and filling. But there was no decision to use chemical weapons for fear of retaliation. They realised that if chemical weapons were used, retaliation would be nuclear. I ordered destruction of all chemical weapons. All weapons - biological, chemical, missile, nuclear were destroyed." Next week: Part III Picnic continued from front page ing to see them acting in the capacity of human beings. Mr. Miller, for example, can really play barefoot soccer. Mr. Cohen, sitting in a lawn chair, chatted it up with students. Mr. Holland sat with some students and enjoyed his picnic fare. lvfany familiar campus personalities acted typically. Henry Magram, sitting in the same lawn chair recently vacated by Mr. Cohen, muttered a humorous play-byplay of Mr. Hoffmann's dance prowess. "He's looking... he's looking... who shallit be?" intoned an absorbed 1\fr. Magram. "Oh! He's identified his target. He's swinging-get it?-into action, he's moving in ... now he's really got her in his clutches. Oh, I can't watch. It's too horrible" Mr. Magram then looked on as Ivir. Hoffman smoothly led his dance partner to the cobblestones and proceeded to dance ever more smoothly, if such a thing were possible. "Look at those moves!" Mr. I'vfagram said, quickly losing interest at the sight of a brilliant brunette. Eventually, the crowd thinned and the music became less reminiscent of the soundtrack of Mr. Hulot's Holidqy. Henry Magram was long gone. Caloric wavered above the meatless grill. Grass-stained freshman retreated from the softball field into Aristotle's Physics. Contented, healthy smiles concluded the picnic, a refreshing rebirth after the whirlpool of alcohol that had begun the weekend's festivities. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �And It Came To Pass In Those Days ... by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer ... that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. I inevitably enjoy Mr. Colten's pieces. If more liberals were as actually liberalminded as he generally is, the world would be a far better place. Mr. Colten regards Representative Delay's comment as inciting violence to court justices. But with a Critical-Theory decoder ring, we see that :Mr. Cohen's remark- ''If Terri Schiavo has a soul, and it's attached to her body until her death, it seems rather cruel to keep it stuck on Earth for 15 years tied to a non-functioning brain."- is really a sinister Mark Chapmanesque death-threat to our Commander-in-Chief. Perhaps as good citizen I should report Mr. Colten to the Homeland Security representative in my area. Kidding aside- Mr. Colten also observes that a key question is whether or not Schiavo was still a human person or not. This has eluded most debaters: If all that lay in the hospital bed was a technonecromancically-vivif:ied corpse, then the question of assisted-suicide becomes moot. But anyhow, 1vfr. Colten's question- directed toward the Christian worldview-implied (perhaps for sake of argument) that she was somehow "there". Ailing Warren Zevon's aphorism Imminent death teaches you to e11joy every sandwich, while wise and beautiful, does not fully cover the case. The full principle is much more imperious: "You do not have the right to desert your post in this life, regardless of how much suffering you are in, or whether there is any chance of recovery." That is, even if there are no sandwiches, one may not leave the table until excused. Life's cruelty does not justify trying lo escape it-and if one tries to meet one's Maker before one has finished one's assigned tasks, one may find the meeting unpleasant. I realize all this sounds flippant-callous-pious; and I cannot even say whether these unpalatable assertions apply to Schiavo or not-I know too few details. But the general principle of euthanasia- 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . opposition, at least, can be expressed. Mr. Schwartz once aptly observed that Christianity places individual rights and individual happiness subordinate to the will of God. Most readers would agree (in principle, if not in rationalization-practice) that doing what is right and doing what would come easiest to us are not automatically equivalent. Substituting "the morally correct thing" in place of "the will of God", secularists may find the precept more comprehensible. If not Thomas Aquinas' admonitions, perhaps Dylan Thomas'. As to Mr. Colten's criticism of Bush's faith, it is a keen insight-though of course it's hard to see into a man's soul; I suspect the president is more sincere in intention (if incorrect in application) than Mr. Cohen gives him credit for. In any case, Abu Ghraib and Iraq are problemsymptoms, not the problem itself. The fundamental problem with the Republican Party-and hence America- is pride. Where a truly reverent nation would implore the blessings of heaven upon endeavors, using tragedies as times of soulsearching and repentance, America instead asserts pride more adamantly than ever, concludes that it has divine mandate to fix the world- that it has been chosen by Providence. This is, in effect, presuming to speak for God-and unless one has received stone tablets on Sinai, such presumption is Blues-Brothers buffoonery at best, sacrilege at worst. Even the President's most ardent admirers will not claim that the man's mouth has been purged by a burning coal. Then again, perhaps they do-l have not seen the latest FOX News-tickertape . ... seraphim envoys arrive at White House .. . Mr. Colten is on to something which hasn't occurred to many of his fellowtravelers. I attempt not to correct, but rather to clarify the observation from a different vantage point: It is genuinely ironic to me that secularists are offended by Bush's piety when Christians should be offended by his blasphemy. Go deeper: Abu Ghraib is disturbing not for the scapegoating of a few lowranking soldiers by foreign policy elites, but for American people's demand for a scapegoat-whether National Guardsman or president. We seek always someone to foist the burden of guilt onto. This manifests itself in rac1sm and ethnocentricism-as if one could be more African by hating Whitey, more Teutonic by hating Jews, more Southern by hating Blacks, more American by hating the French-in politics, in romance, in countless other ways. Ad absurdum conclusion: We scapegoat God for our own choice to play with hellfire. H. G. Wells' fantastic twist on the Job parable: Man- finally fed up with War, Famine, Loneliness, Desolation, Poverty, I\1urder- marches up to the Lord's throne with a laundry-list of complaints. "Why, God, why?" God listens to the complaints thoughtfully and then suggests: "If all these things bother you so much ... perhaps you should stop doing them to yourselves." Playful fiction, not intended as revelation-yet the atheist's irreverent story is truer than Bush's Alpha/ Omega-nation myth. \Vhether one believes the world was given to us by heavenly hands or by random atom-fluxings, today- here, nowit is what we have made of it. Aside (perhaps) from tsunamis, every affliction of Man- Modern I\tfan, anyhow- can be traced back to ... Modern I\11an, Us. The difference between my view and that of the principled secularist: The liberal sees Man as screwed up, and works upon Man's perfectibility to heal him; I knowas surely as I know anything, at all- that it would take a literal miracle to heal a single individual, let alone the whole human race. Abu Ghraib was not a "fluke", neither of a few warped soldiers, nor of a warped administration-but rather an expression of our society, of who we all are. Abu Ghraib humiliation-scenes would have provoked howls of laughter, rather than horror, if depicted in Tarantinoesque-cinema. 1\-firth that requires a victim is not mirth at all, but predation wearing merriment's mask. Pragmatic cocky-cowboy America has no taste for Homeric mutual respect, much less chivalric comIn Those Days continued on page 10 �Once again, it's time for the SUPER SECRET Saturday@ 8pm in FSK. Free. YES, WE'RE GIVING AWAY PRIZES THIS TIME. This dude goes to this place to learn stuff. You know, like a school. There's this other dude there and they don't get along. They fight for the recognition of those around them. Of course, there's gotta be a girl. And a dead friend. All this mayhem wreaks havoc on the psyche of the first dude, so the Dude #2 prevails. Unless, of course, Dude #1 is given the second chance he needs ... Kaffehaus in FSK Lobby to follow the movie see live bands perform with the best of their ability to you according to your needs _?o.e<.. """"# r.J>-"-vf>' "'~ ~._e;'<}'o~ S"" #i ~ 0... $60 up-close tablee for ule '"' seats 6-8 people -food + beer delivery contact allison hennigan for details . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . . 7 �THE SHORT VERSION OF THE OFFICIAL RlJLES FOR ASSASSIN 2005 NOTICE: Sign-ups end on Tlursday, i\prill4th. The names of your targets 'Will be put in campus mail on Friday, i\pril15th. i\lso, this is just the short version of the rules. You are, however, bound by the full ve:rsion which is available on the website · )lame to assigned to you. There are 1:\:vo 'Winners: the person with the most kills and the last player left alive. Each winner 'Will win SS0 cash or 10% of dre pot, whichever is greater. The game is over at 6:00p.m. on Wednesday, r.•iay 12. If there is no last. person standing at that there will only be omnvinne:r. It costs S5 to join the game. You must name. To join, send a check for S5 Campus Mail payable to Reality. hand S5 cash to Laura Pinson, Fruechting in an envelope with 11.11 of the moneo,• (besides 2005. - your assassin is, yru may your target; however,you unrelated to yru. should be resolved . lJ.oth parties may be ~isi.om made by the Each participating player is while at the same time he player. When a game target, he V\ill be assigned a r..fail. :your decide that a will therefore mercilessly. weapon isn't a weapon us the details of )'O!If weapon. \Ve V\ill let if your weapon is approved. Your weapon mu;t and CAl1'MJ T be anything close to a realistic · of a real w~n. Step 3: Attack Ylllll" T a.wt. You :trust attack your target using your register!'d weapon Exposure mu.st target an area where your weapon would theoretieally cause lethal damage. Gunshots, for example, should be aimed for vital areas and not limbs. Stl'p 4: Don't Gt't Caught. Because you're a sneak-y assassin there can be no more than Mo wimesses to your assassination. There are the follovl'ing restrictions on when and where kills may take place: The kill mu.st not take plac.e 10 minutes before, during, or 10 minutes after any of the target's classes or Lecture. ::a " rn !: rn en ... rn z rn To sign up or get more Pinson, Aaron Brager, or nmpus mail, or e-mail \Ve V\ill publish obituaries with '1\Tite-up of the d..--ath, and any may care to submit B After the game has conclud..,"'l, the \vinner'(s), survivors (if any), and anyone else we decide earned a mention for doing something neat >>ill also be ''" published. !! http:/ ;www.geocUies.com;reallty _assassl ns 8 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . - . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..... . �The Republican "Culture of Life:" A Clarification by Nick Colten Staff Writer Instead of discussing the issue of abortion, as I said I would last week, I've decided to respond to comments that came up in conversations I have had about a previous article. The critique focused on my assertion: "Our soldiers are still dying in Iraqlargely as a result of the war's inept planning and inadequate supplies of material and troops." I followed this assertion with a quotation from a Q&A between Defense Secretary Rumsfeld and U.S. troops; Secretary Rumsfeld, after being told that troops were scavenging scrap metal from junkyards in order to armor their humvees, replied that the lack of armor was "essentially a matter of physics" and not the result of the Pentagon's failure to adequately requisition the amount of armor needed. I was asked to substantiate my claims about why I thought the war was poorly planned. Here goes: One could object that the reason our soldiers are still dying in Iraq is that they were sent over there in the first place, on a mission that proved to be unwarranted. For the sake of simplicity, I'll refrain from considering to what degree the Bush Administration knew or ought to have known that Iraq did not pose a serious threat to the United States; instead, I'll take for granted that they honestly believed Iraq was likely to provide very dangerous weapons to terrorist groups. What then? In the first place, if one assumes these weapons exist and one has an idea where they are-Secretary Rumsfeld, for instance, said, "\Ve know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." It seems to me these locations ought to have been secured as soon as possible once the fighting began. Such was not the case, however. With the exception of the Oil Ministry in Baghdad, few government sites were secured by the coalition forces immediately after the collapse of the Hussein regime. The headquarters of other ministries, the Baghdad museum, and numerous military depots were all heavily-and in some cases systematically-looted. One especially egregious instance of this looting took place at Al Qa'qaa military com- plex. Al Qa'qaa was a special case since the International Atomic Energy Agency had inspected the site prior to the war. The Clarification continued on back page BEHOLD THE GODS OF THE GREEK PANTHEONf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 �with h er wh en you do tl1at?" Mayb e the religious are insane; but not so stran gelypassion for fallen foes-so it gets what it in sane as to become b edfe llows with asks for. World War I: pilots flew mis- those whose friends openly disdain them. sions behind enemy lines to drop wreaths While the Republican has sidled up with, onto downed enemies' graves. I won't "Hey, fine-foxy baby ... I appreciate you." speculate on what we'd do to enemies' The Christian vote: lulled by lip- sergraves tod ay, given the chance-thank vice to issues which eith er cannot be subGo d for bleeding-heart libe ral sensibili- stantively changed in the fore seeable futies, a t least; Chris tian se nsibilities no ture (like abortion) or which are odditites longer hold enough sway to keep us from with all the relevance of a Ripley's Believefighting as animals, vice men. It-Or-Not: CoNtroversy! Potato shaped like "Why wou ld they (Christians) choose Ala11 GiNsberg's hiNdbottom fouNd i11 old lady's to vote for a Republican rather than a gardw! Th e RP 's commitment to letting Democrat?" asks Mr. Colten. I cannot capitalism determin e cultural evolution is justify erro r-but I will try to explain, far more pertinent to the growing selfcausally, why it occurred. To the extent gratification cult, abortion-statistics, and that Chri stians are uncompromising in erosion of old-fashioned "family-values" faith, they are stuck with principles, un - than h ow the Elephant weighs in on any popular positions that the mainstream in- Barnum & Bailey sidesh ow. ("Should this creasingly finds ugly. They are analogous S & M sh emale's marriage to a cross-dressto the homely, Unpopular G irl standing ing albino be fed erally-blessed ? Gaspalon e at the high -sch ool prom. Republi- defend our beliefs, G.W.!!") Economic cans eying such vo tes know they need not dependence on Republicans' b eloved paelbow through crowd s of fawning admir- triotic military-industrial zaibatsu make a ers. They know th ey deal with a demo- massive warmachine an d aggressive forgraphic with inherent p er secution issues, eign p o licy an unshakeable addiction, with "outs" who (like all h uman beings) mak e it impossible to adopt a live & let d esperately wants to be " ins", wan t ac- live policy toward other peoples even if knowled gm e nt- politically speaking, we wanted to, even if fo reigners weren't representa tion. So the Romeo -neocon psychotically-d ep ra ved , an imminent n eed only occasionally drop a few supe r- threa t to us, and begging for our bombs ficial compliments-"Your church is sooo to guide them to freedo m. Nor will Repretty," or "That's a really lovely creed publicans' transnat-corporate allies reyou 're wearing." Then the subtle slipping strain trade or marketing out of respect of a bourgeois-prosperity roo fie into the fo r region alism, traditional life, or conpunch-glass. sumption-inhibiting faith s. But all this Meanwhile the Democrat's image is that is A-OK, for the RP occasionally nods paof th e cool kid wh o lurks by the lockers tronizingly towa rd a pseudo-Christian to sni ck er a t the U npopular Girl when- fra m e-of-reference. Sure, most neocon s ever she walks by. Of course this image is are religiously ambiguous at most -and not reflective of all Democrats (I have some actively reject Christianity and "Red known d evout C hris ti ans-Catholic, Sta te" small- towniness. (Well, Pi11ky, says G reek Orthodox, and Baptist- who con- the Brain, ToNight we do what we do every sistently vote Democratic) but no one can Night: try to placate deer-huNtiNg, Bible-thumpdeny th at the image exi sts: " If you think illg, red11eck hoi-poloi so we call get elected to Christianity the obsolete super stition o f the halls ofpower.) But none of the Nobleuptight, ignorant hypocrites who don't Liars are indiscreet enough to noisily adlike t o party, then do we h ave the hip, in- vertise this contempt on Com edy Central tell ectual Party for you." For example, talk shows. were I a Democrat contender yearning for So why ballots-fo r-Bush? Because Bible-Belt vo tes, I would rega rd Bill "Re- truth i s h ard to swallow. Because twoligi ou s- p eo pie-are- literally-in sane-and- party rule is as dogma; because the Christ have-a-neurological-disorder" Mah er as whose face we have never seen may return the equivalent of one of m y cool-kid-pals someday, but here and now the Caesa r who sh oots spitwads at the U npopular wh o nursed u s since birth tells us to Girl: "C'm on , Maher, she knows you and punch the ticket- and we see that one I are buds, so how am I supposed to score party pays us the courtesy of pretending, In Those Days continued from page 6 10 at least, to value our outlook. Because we do not have a mustard-seed's faith, much less enough to contempla te the ought-is abyss between the creed we profess and the glimmering imperial machine we live in-none of us has th e fait h to stand alone at the prom, by the punch bowl; no, not one. And that is why the Republican Party gets th e Chr istian vote, Charlie Brown. The Mitchell Gallery invites you to participate in The St. Johns College Community Art E x hibition May 5- May 15, 2005 Students: Please deliver 2-dinlensional work to the Mitchell Gallery for free matting and framing on Tuesday, April 26, between 12-5 p.m. Deliver 3-dimensional work either through Fine Arts instructors Debra Banker orJohn Jensen, or directly to ilie Mitchell Gallery on Saturday, April 30"' between noon and 3:00p.m. . THE GADFLY . . .. . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Staff and Tutors: Please deliver 2 and 3-dimensional work to ilie Mitchell Gallery on Sunday, May 1" between 11:00 a.m. and 3:00p.m. Seniors (A'05): Selection of the Charles Vernon Moran Prize will take place during the first week of May. This prize is awarded to a member of ilie senior class who submits the best work of visual art to the St.Johll} College Commu11ityArt Exhibitioll. If you have any questions, please call Hydee Schaller in the Mitchell Gallery atext. 2556 or 410-626-2556. Thank you. �[ am neither the fintnor lut to despm CJf 1M IOOdem wotL:t Despair is the JDOdus of modem.ity, il his been so from C!lemlty But someho., ~fe\..age h.iU ~win the c:onp.any of pt~nrs AbmdleruUI din whom my du'ldren ~oe tlso checrfu~· know Tht bo'-ell of Ktml Woi'Jfl and the ble!Utd Mother Tem.t. And IJO'Il John Pml!he GrNt mel the pt Mother M dead. Ipuy lhe fnil solemn Cmllnah Find someone ·tlrthy of nPf11 But more, desr God, 1pmy they fuu:l. Smnoanc t!Vm •orlhltr of You These t110 ~ bam in the soil of the Buddha ~tin the flame of inwnAWn Bndgingtmific •'itt!rs and luodAIOOllDlbanb. E'rerf pll6bcJ11 Jus the wme slupe. Eery fa flung twinned hype:.bob cut Tluo11glt dte p11D:Dt ~ and e11m closed eDipse Is ..-e ID its parallel You can pm\oe this With cmu-lwdt.ed abscissa .od ai~irua.1H.,. ~!.p it with Cutl9im 1:ocndin:a~ P.le UIICic:~s of dte II1RSOIIX ~ But aU yon redy need 1D do is ob!llc:~ Ah the mp~ry of lt'IUlh fiiOd big:~ 'J'hiJ B :1 poem lh111 ~ :1 iigm.: So in John P11'*s DJUDf, 1beg that You ccmider. ~ulists lit the of~ling ol Your~ They are Its true.bom mm md daughtea SticiiW high .zubtic nwtyrs R.Ggiog rtmptmt tbroogh aty m::l detert ~ the tb~c:t ~!log merningbmes ol the wodd. So cnrnt dfu God, serulllfo 11 c:1wu V'or A~~ Mother In sufrulng Truth Proof agtinst the £dser~t St:nmch ~the ~the milt ln\oestor Tht homophobic enemy of Ilfe Tht militW:ing uint of F~m And tht tynmo\11 pollog booth. Now caD Ymn &m, oh cvMtiog God, To di!IOOld lmm the mounllllm, yog O.ughitJS To list from the plains, To meet in !he rtwl md the ~ 01 our clnm:h ol the bnghtmlng '~ ~ abo,-e the orooe, oh my Pn:aoM Bre.d and wine: £rom !he bodega will 2m! Tht aJlws of Rpratlvr rain And true gpdhetd: fot You m one mel ~y 'Tht femu.&e meaning of lllllSCIIlne truth lnamttt! rei md. 'Tht alpM and the omega. Iustn:u:t )'CUl' ~ tlut dJr:se- dm..iogs love no Sale! :mel JtMI 'llli1l see .Ut those slldog CI1I'V'eS Could be: ..)~ QD 1he sloping Hli'1Ke Any diJlacce &om tlut vertig:D:na :Meeting place- or coni: !fDa:, l.lR tpes ~ c~msed waft~~ meet 1n sinprity: Any rullltla md bma :Ill distmczs So aU om cui"'1H ~just ODe- ClJnlll! to dtem. · In wcnd.er we begm Ia feellheir molion: It is Bah!! Jtuth\ h.ueb.tll clelllicg ibe bleadten \'Vh.t ll thlog lo fed. tlul !Meg in )IOU I seAIDt To ift1. the: cor.I«<iore mg of dJe Rll1 in The~ of An icle plmet. The ~of the: f~~;f~DpiDIU: heat In tbe wish of :1 'IPmDID CDIIIing home. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . . . 11 �I THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Senior Orals continued from page 3 only by having crossed this line in the direction and to the extent that it differentiates all of space into domains of place, do we, in our crossing it, change not only our position, but also indeed our place. In changing our place, then, we have traveled an infinitude, across the entirety of our boundary's endless length. But could we really have traveled so far? Not yet--or so I also want to suggest. So far, we haven't so much crossed our circle's boundary as transgressed it. For our straight-line motion over this boundary was enjoined and accomplished in utter indifference to the differentiation of place it has achieved, along ,v:i_th_ the way it was able to achieve it-by enclosing space in a circle. Until now, that is, crossing the circle's boundary has been a matter of merely continuing as we were- rectilinearly-as if the circle's boundary made no difference to our motion at all. But crossing it properly might well be-as indeed in Euclid it seems to become-a matter of doing it now in light of this difference, of now somehow conforming our forward motion to the figural shapein this case circular-by which this boundary does indeed enclose space, making a difference that is absolute. As a first illustration of such conforming, we might briefly consider the meaning of tangency in Euclid, where our circle can be construed to have made a difference to what lies outside it not simply in place but in motion. For Euclid is careful to define the tangent in a way that precludes our having touched a circle simply by moving as we did above to penetrate it: in some straight-line motion towards its boundary that we can presumably stop at the exact moment we reach it. We could so reach it, but any further movement in this direction will penetrate it. And this will thus prevent the straight line that carried us there from being tangent to our circle according to the relevant definition offered in Book III of the Elements, where all such lines must meet the circle without cutting it upon being produced. Euclid's restriction here thus makes the boundary of the circle doubly detemllning: it defines not only the length of any tangent straight line, but also-and simultaneously-its clirec- 12 . THE GADFLY . . . . ' tion. Unsurprisingly, more than mere postulates are required to achieve this tangency, and as we see from the second circle Euclid has us describe to help us finally achieve it (found in III.17), the motion we might make in a straight line to touch our circle from any point outside it will simultaneously involve a rotation in light of its circularity as well. A second, even more graphic, illustration of conforming-where our circle is now shown to make a difference to what lies inside it not simply in place but in motion-can be found in IV.1. This proposition again relies on the describing of a second circle, but now to fit an entirely given straight line perfectly into a first circle. The second circle allows us to rotate our straight line until it conforms to the first circle, reaching the precise inclination that carries its extremities onto this circle's boundary. And the essential thrust of Book IV-along with the culminating Book XIII-might indeed be construed as nothing but IV.1 writ large. In those books we behold a succession of straight lines being fitted into first a circle and later a sphere, thus in a sense crossing the boundaries of circle and sphere in light of the differentiation in place they achieve in the precise figural way that they achieve it, but gaining a compositional significance in place that transcends mere length. They cross these boundaries in modes of inscribed or circumscribed conformity to circle or sphere that result in even larger arrangements of straight lines, from something as simple as the proportioned isosceles triangle in IV.1 0 to the complexity of the icosahe- dron in XIII.16. But with Book XIII I'm now willing to abandon the ElemeJtts, and carry my two suggestions onward. Let us now consider our circle's boundary a threshold that exhaustively divides all geometric space, with respect to place, into an outside and an inside. And let us generalize this idea of threshold to include any like differentiation, into distinct but adjacent domains, of everything there is in some like categorical respect. Let us further stipulate that crossing such thresholds-as opposed to transgressing them-thus calls for motion in more than one direction at once, in calling for a positioning or arranging with regard to-even for-the way in which the domains have been differentiated. And to this regardful multivalent motion or positioning, let us now give the name comportment. Suppose, then, that we have granted the existence of something like a threshold calling for something like comportment in something as abstracting as Euclid's Elements. Are there any such thresholds and comportments when everything there is is viewed more concretely? Are there any such thresholds in life? Of course there are-and as we shall see, the Senior oral in one sense only elevates and intensifies the very threshold you are standing on right here and now, for every here and now, and with regard to which you are comporting yourself in at least two remarkable ways to cross and cross repeatedly .... Clarification continued from page 9 IAEA had discovered 340 tons of very high quality explosives-good enough to be used as part of nuclear weapons. As a result, the IAEA locked and sealed the store of explosives. All this was known to the United Sates, and yet somehow the complex was looted during the period of U.S. occupation. Either the military planners were inadequately concerned about letting weapons fall into the hands of partisans or foreign terrorists-which was of course the stated reason for the war-or they wanted to secure these places, but had too few troops to do so. In either case, the explosives at AI Qa'qaa-and other military bases-came into the possession of people who were interested in using them to attack coalition forces. The security situation in Iraq was, and is, a tremendous problem-and one that it did not require a military genius to anticipate. There are many explanations for why the Bush administration might have failed to plan their war sensibly, but none of them are exculpatory. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 22 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-04-12 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 22 of The Gadfly. Published April 12, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.22 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/fdab4540945ef06034b44fab865a1967.pdf c9bcf1eb1257a8be2d5c9c0cfabc8a59 PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY 1 HE \l l l l \l l~l~ [~f~lif~ ~ ~ ~l l l l\l l l ' GADFLY The St. Johns College Student Weekfy Volume XXVI, Issue 23 Annapolis, Maryland Apri/19, 2005 When Johnnie Comes by Dan Hera Staff Writer Marching "Whenever we stand against the flow on strongly contested issues, a man does what he must, in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles, dangers and pressures; that is the basis for all human morality." John F. Kennedy Ilotne To War by Webster Ye Staff Writer 0830, Friday,April15, 2005- Washington, D. C. 10 CH-53D Sea Stallion Helicopters come swooping into Bolling Air Force Base out of the blustery blue sky. Whap-Whap-Whap. I'm in this dorky ear protector ensemble, trying not to shiver in the frigid April morning. I've been up since Sam trying to get from Annapolis to Washington, D.C. in time for the bus trip to the base. Enough coffee has been poured into me that I feel vaguely human - although I'm comforted by the knowledge that the last Kant seminar has been done with. As a little token of Johnnieland, I grip a copy of Gulliver~ Travels so that I can do some reading in the inevitable boredom that comes of waiting for events to occur at any large, well-scheduled event. I've been sent as a representative of my office to Marine Day 2005, a chance for the Marines to do a show-and-tell, a 'we need more money,' trade-show-like event. They plan to fly us via helicopter from D.C. to Quantico Marine Base, where we can first view the latest and greatest in Marine equipment, test-fire weapons, and learn something about a part of our nation's military establishment. 1100 - Chow Call Intermission I've been spending the last two hours looking at random displays of Marine equipment and aircraft in order to 'learn something' about the Marines's technological capabilities. So far I've accomplished two major things: 1) I've broken my glasses and repaired them using Green Marine Duct Tape (courtesy of a friendly Marine); and 2) I've learned that a 'Non-Lethal Laser Dazzler' is in actuality a device that looks almost like a Star Trek Phaser Rifle, and projects a similar beam of light in somebody's face. Our Marine guardians (nannies, babysitters, Marine officers, etc.) herd us into the chow test for our prepared meals MREs. I pick up an auspicious package Meatloaf with Mashed Potatoes. We are warned to not to attempt to heat our meals until a demonstration has been given, as it apparently is known that incompetent ci- Johnnie continued on page 11 Before continuing to Part Ill, I felt a brief intermission was necessary to define the lens through which all international, and even personal, action ought to be viewed. Instead of trying to embark on a moral treatise based on sound metaphysical principles, I find it helpful to define a lay moral code with the simplest rule. Regardless Of each individual's feelings on morality, it seems that it is nearly impossible to have a moral code without one basic notion. This notion is hypocrisy, or a lack thereof. One of the most basic moral precepts is that one is only entitled to righteous moral indignation if one does not violate the same principle. As Jesus is quick to point out, "Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get." There are a few examples of the violation of this principle which will help us better understand what Jesus means. George W. Bush, a self-proclaimed Bible advocate, strongly declares that we ought to "err on the side of life." This is a fair judgment, but does it have any moral power? Is George W. Bush a hypocrite? In "Part II: section b" I attempted to make a case that the claims of Iraq having weapons of mass destruction were very dubious. Without even considering that Intermission continued on page 10 �THE ....-GADFLY Senior Orals Part Four by Daniel Harrell Tutor Editors-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Shoshana Goldstein Photographer Clark Saylor Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue Aaron Brager NickColten Daniel Hanell AlecKast Max Kronberg John Peterson DanRera Jerry Salyer Ben Strickland WebsterYe Jlounded in 1980, the Gadf(y is the student weekly di::;tributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Pc campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not necessarilly represent the opinions of the Gadffy staff. The Gadf(y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadf(y is not obli&ratcd to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they arc legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 on occasions similarly specified. And the most available form for this would seem to be books. So are there such books? Yes indeed-here's one of several on my shelf right now. I pull it down, look at the cover, and find these words at the very top in capital letters: "TilE DEFINITIVE RI~FERENCE FOR CIVILIZED BEHAVIOR." I pull another book off my shelf, and now on the back cover, again at the very top, I read: "Now Nearly a month has gone by since I raised a question about why we clothe the Senior Oral in ceremony. Since then, however, I have been oddly preoccupied with a seemingly tangential matter in Euclidean geometry involving the nature and meaning of a circle's boundary. \"'\That's more, this preoccupation with its boundary has led me to a conception of what it Senior Orals continued on page 9 is and what its crossing entails that I might have derived more persuasively from occasions in life than from entities in mathematics. At least in life, I could speak of thresholds and comportments more literally; in mathematics I seem to be speaking utterly metaphorically. Then again, last week I also said it was obvious there were thresholds and comportments in life. But perhaps this needs to be shown. And showing it, I think, will also show what my odd preoccupation with May 5- May 15, 2005 boundaries of circles might have already helped to illuminate about the Senior Students: Oral-before I move on, in the same odd Please deliver 2-dimensional work to the way, to use another theorem or two from the Elements to define the comportments IV!itchell Gallery for free matting and framing and threshold found at the bottom of on Tuesday, April26, between 12-5 p.m. human life. So let me hypothesize this: the more Deliver 3-dimensional work either through one's conduct in life involves comportment, the more the occasion in life calling Fine Arts instructors Debra Banker or John Jensen, or directly for it involves the crossing of a threshold. Or to be more exact if elaborate: the to the l\1itchell Gallery on Saturday, April 30th between noon and more one's conduct in life involves any prescribed arranging, orienting, or posi- 3:00p.m. tioning of oneself, or of extensions of Staff and Tutors: oneself, involving a multiplicity of nonPlease deliver 2 and 3-dimensional work rectilinear movements in supposed conformity to an occasion in life that calls for to the l\1itchell Gallery on Snnday, May 1>t between 11:00 a.m. and it, the more this occasion will signify a crossing from one domain to a distinct- 3:00p.m. even opposite-but still adjacent domain, Seniors (A'OS): over a boundary that differentiates everySelection of the Charles Vernon lvforan thing there is in some categorical respect. Prize will take place during the first week of And to this first hypothesis let me add a second: the more our conduct involves May. Tills prize is awarded to a member of such comportment, the more any prescrip- the senior class who submits the best work of tions regarding that conduct can be ar- visual art to the St. John's College Community Arl Exhibition. ticulated and codified. But if all this is true, then we should Ifyou have any questions, please call Hydee likely find somewhere in life, ready at Schaller in the l\1itchell Gallery hand, an articulation and codification of at ext. 2556 or 410-626-2556. Thank you. just such prescriptions for our conduct . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . The Mitchell Gallery invites you to particzpate in The St. John's College Community Art Exhibition �lightful, and it is hoped that the remaining ladies of St. John's will be persuaded to embark on similar excursions in the future. Thank you for bringing this opportunity to our attention. Dear Ali Schwab: As you probably know, we've been running a contest for the past few weeks. In this contest, students were urged to take someone on a date and then write about it. The person who submitted the best date story in this incredibly easy contest would win $75. Seventy five actual dollars. Seventy five real dollars. There were two entries. Yeah, two. A month and a half. Two entries. And they both suck. But, we're men of our word. Or men of our words ... we don't know how to pluralize this statement. It may be like attorneys general. .. or it may not. We don't even know if pluralize is a word, but we can write better than both of the And then I dumped his body in the pier! entrants: The first entrant writes in the first person plural but then signs only one name, and the second entrant writes like a four-year-old child on too much Adderall. Before you continue, please note that we have no idea if any of the information in these accounts is true. Now, here's the first entry: To Whom It May Concern at Jew's Clues: We are pleased to announce that Elijah Berry has been thoroughly taken out on a date, by every beautiful woman we could round up- Jennifer Wright, Becky Stevens, and Kayla Gaman. Michael Stokely was also in attendance, enlisted for his magical ability to make good conversation. Cookies were eaten by College Creek, and politics, literature, and life on Elijah's ranch were discussed, among other things. Mr. Berry's company is de- .. .I' 11 take you Right into the Danger Zone I You'll never say hello to you ... " We don't know who you are, and we've spent two hours arguing whether you're a boy or a girl. Aaron seemed to be starting strong with "When is Ali ever not a girl's name?" He pointed out how Ali is short for Allison, and, conceivably, Alisandra, and that "it just sounds like a chick I. Plus , it was someone who took Elijah Berry on a date, and no dude would ever do that." J\fax, however, made a strong comeback that "AJisandra isn't a name, and also that Mohammed Ali, Ali Akbar, and Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa are all guys." Regardless, four chicks and two dudes (and/ or three chicks, three dudes, depending on Ali) isn't a date. Your "excursion" is an orgy at best, and a car accident at worst. No ladies at St. John's would ever volunteer for a car accident, and orgies aren't fun, they're just awkward. This one time we were [Cut, for obvious reasons (to facilitate this joke) -ED] and we can't believe that Brad Kinney and Andy Harrison are still speaking! Let's move on to Date #2. Here's the e-mail Aaron received recounting David Prichard's date with Saramax Gutman. It is completely unedited. We are not making this up. This three-day excursion (supposedly) lasted from the morning of Prank Thursday to that Saturday. (They missed all of Senior Prank.) Hey Aaron, Saramax and i want to enter in the date contest, we've been on one for 3 days. we flew to chicago from washington on thursday. you should know this because i called you at around 11:20 for directions. we were able to find it on our own. there is a picture of sara outside of the airport Jew's Clues continued on page 7 . . . . . THE GADFLY 3 �My Problem with Christianity: Giving "The Devil" His Due by Nick Colten Staff Writer I take it as a given that there is some degree of self-indulgence in most of what is written for the Gadj(y, and I'm pretty sure that at some point I've admitted as much about my own contributions. With that in mind, I was still startled by Mr. Valles's friend's assertion that my article on Terri Schiavo was, "'the most narcissistic thing" she had ever read. Hadn't she read Pascal's Pcnsies? Or the recent series of Gadfly articles on Senior Orals-the latter of which also containing a "Flaumenhaft-esque third part?" Or what about that regular feature of the Gadf!y wherein a self-appointed censor self-righteously condemns the sanctimony of others? I will be the first to admit that I have some difficulty recognizing and appreciating irony, so if the outrage in last week's "Stop Taking Yourself So F-ing Seriously" was merely feigned, the joke's on mefor I took it at face value. Since I think Mr. Valles raised serious, if not always pertinent, objections to my article I will try to explain myself. I meant what I said about the Schiavo situation, though as is often the case, I could have said it more clearly. I did not mean to imply that someone could not validly claim Michael Schiavo had no right to end his wife's permanent vegetative state. I\Iy problem with many of those who were taking the side of Terri Schiavo's parents was that their espoused rationales were invalid. If a man is pro-torture, war and execution, and anti-euthanasia and abortion, I would not say that he is "pro-life." Numbers AlecKast The usefulness of numbers is all naught if but a few of infmites are known; a chance tangential, chord, a dot of thought can hardly bring forth figures oftheir own. Some underreferenced puzzles in my eyes disjunctive misperceptions, uonsense jaunts, extrapolated flights - these are the lies by which I reach my lonely, hopeful haunts. I saw you and the numbers took their hold: their misbegotten eyes spoke out to me; they chewed my pause apart, and I was told that which I did not and yet wished to see. Denial and avowal, hand in hand, incite another datum-less demand. Note: This is about someone in particular, but it's also about no one in particular. I say this because even though some of those positions could be classified as "pro-life," such a description does not seem to fit all those positions. If I had to characterize this man by means of all these positions-and it is admittedly imprecise to reduce a person to onemotivation-I'd call him "authoritarian." Torture, war and execution all consist of the stronger people doing as they please to weaker ones. Abortion may be the same-it's a question of whether embryos and fetuses are potential or actual people-but it is also a matter of whether women have control of their own bodies, or whether they belong to God or the State; so too with euthanasia. I agree with :r..1r. Valles that peaceful "religious nuts" are less to be worried about than the "kill 'em all and let God sort them out" apocalyptic variety. I do however maintain that Christianity does not embrace a "life at any cost" position, and that its attitude toward life and death is very conducive to both hypocrisy and dangerous fanaticism. The long version of my problem with Christianity can be found in my senior essay-available at the front desk of the library. The short version is that it is inhuman-even anti-human. This is true both of the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth (as presented in the Gospels) and all the betrayed and perverted forms of his teachings that have been developed over the years. Jesus asks his followers to do things that-barring miracles-are impossible. As a result, the followers are bound to fail-and fail constantly. If just looking at a person lustfully is a form of adultery (Matthew 5: 27-8), than we're all pretty much sinners. What good is this? The only likely results are guilt (for being a failure) or hypocrisy (calling yourself a My Problem continued on page 10 4 THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . �On the Three Levels of Irony by John Peterson Staff Writer Negation and Opposition The first principles of irony are nega~ tion and opposition. It is a play between truth and falsehood, expectation and actuality, separation and coincidence. It is used often disparagingly as verbal irony, or sarcasm; even when it is used to praise, it involves the use of a derogatory. For example, "You are smart." I mean that you are not smart. But, "You are stupid," meaning "you are not stupid," is still a use of negation. To say, "You are stupid" when what is meant is the very opposite is not the same as saying right out, "you are smart." There is a great difference in meaning, we know this, but where is that difference? What is it? This is the question that spurs the ironic adventure, an exploration of the subtlety of human perception. What an ironic activity, to explore the nature of irony! There is considerable delight in store for the man or woman who wishes to go beyond mere words, beyond definitions and abstracts, to intention and negation, to the very fount of meaning, on the lying tongue! The First Level A first-leveler dwells on a higher plane than the world. His irony is like a bomb dropped from a height-it includes the whole world in its scope but he is untouched, outside the blast radius. When he scorns some particular thing with first level irony, he betrays his bitter thought that "everything sucks." He is ignorant for the time or perhaps always, that he is one with the world, that he is not impervious to negation or derision, that he is, in fact, an entirely ridiculous object, a mere human being, a lowly creature making sounds. But put this aside for now. First level irony, despite the obvious dubiousness of its blind superiority, is the apex of negation most of us will attain. It is discovered usually in early adolescence, and modified slightly, made more intelligent, used more selectively, but for the most part perfected at the end of growing "high school" years. It is very easy to use. Simply say or do the opposite of what is intended. A non-verbal example is clothing. To wear, say, a shirt from a little league team for which one does not play is done ironically. The shirt says that the bearer plays ~ll€@ Surfthe Ne~ on your Own Tenns Click Here! for the Weston Wildcats. We know he does not in fact play for the Weston Wildcats. We know he is a chubby stoner kid who has not played sports in years. The concept of him playing baseball is ridiculous. It's ironic. The ironic value of such things is diminished by the frequency of such expressions. If everyone wears ironic t-shirts or trucker hats, they become a mere fashion. One is doing what one is expected to do; it is not ironic. My brother has a word for this; he calls it neerony." Typical Classifications of Irony Before I move on to the second level of irony, here is a note about the scholasticism in this field. The typical literary criticism distinctions of irony are 1) Ver- hal irony. 2) Dramatic irony. 3) Irony of situation. These are good distinctions, and I accept them, but they are different in kind from the three levels here presented. The three kinds of irony apply across all three kinds of irony, although problems of interpretation do arise, in zn,l or yd level irony, for instance. It is generally very complicated to articulate the level of irony for dramatic and situational types; this is why I have only provided examples framed in terms of people and the kind of irony they use, i.e. 'third-leveler.' These problems might lead one to think that the levels only apply to verbal irony. This is not true. In fact, I think the three levels of irony are more primao' than the three accepted kinds of irony. The kinds are forged in the minds of literary critics, whose job is interpretation of intended and effect-provoking irony, and as we will see in the later levels, irony is not always meant to be discovered. Second Level Irony This level is very common among charismatic people-politicians, comedians, performers. This level includes first level irony in its nature, that is, it is negative, it is an expression of negation, but it includes in that negation the very expression of the irony itself. znd level irony is being ironic about being ironit·. The movement from the first to the second level is a dialectical ironical movement; on the first level the use of irony comes from a superior height, on the second it is equal to the object of irony, or even lower than it! "Everyone sucks, and I suck too." znd level irony recognizes the ridiculousness of human existence. It recognizes that we must use irony! It is a celebration of baseness, a wallowing in the low things. The difference between znd and 1 sr level irony is often goes unperceived. But there is just a different feeling to znu level irony. A lot of people are nasty and mean, but we like second-levelers because they are funny. First-levelers often come off as jerks. The first level has appeal in a small group, but the true stars, the real Irony continued on back page . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 5 �"I Didn't Feel Like A 'Giant'-! Felt Very, Very Small ... " by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer July 16,1969, Cape Canaveral. A rocket points to the sky. At its top, three souls sealed as droplets in the tip of a giant stylus-bearing, perhaps, the message: Our men can best the Communist machine. (When John Henry was an itty-bitty baby./Sittin' on his mammy's knee,/ He picked up a hammer in his little right hand,/Said: This hammer, boys, will be the death of me, Lawd, Lawdy,/ This hammer, boys, will be the death of me.) The Cold War's moon race phase is coming down to the wire. July 13, 1969, Star City, USSR: Another rocket rolls out, carrying Lunik 15-a top-secret robot probe built to beat the American manned moon-flight, to recover and return a moon-rock to Earth first, to upstage the frivolous Westerners' expensive, risky "publicity-stunt". (Mr. Peabody, he came to John Henry,/ And said: "I'm gonna bring my steam-drill round,/ I'm gonna bring my brand new steam-drill to the job,/ And it'll whop that steel on down, Lawd, Lawdy,/It's gonna whop that steel, on down.) Both rockets trace their lineage to the V-2 missiles, Hitler's magic "Vengeance Weapons" hurled at London by the technophilic 3'd Reich. By now the missile-making art of self-destruction has been honed by the Punic American-Soviet struggle: an icy-cold sumo-match, boundary marked by charred, radioactively-simmering barrows of Japanese villagers who once fished, made love, rode bicycles. A match directed into the void above, sparing lands below from the consuming mushroom masque of fiery-red death: And they shall beat their hammers into inkpens? Pragmatists, of course, define the moon-race as political-power struggle. Spaceflight: war-by-other-means. But cynicism never gives the whole truth. We must remember not to make cynicism an idealism-we must not forget to be cynical of cynicism itself. The two spacecraft launch within days of each other, in the twinkling of an eye Newton's ghostly finger flicks the working ends of each into lunar orbit. The Ameri- 6 can lunar-lander-the "Eagle"- heads toward the desert below. As the clunky craftmore evocative of roach than rap tor-descends, the flight computer fumbles, sets a course for a rock-strewn mess of a landing site too rough for the craft's fragile landing gear. The flight commander-a man named Armstrong- reaches out and wrests control from the computer. The hot dog test pilot, showing off his "right stuff". Perhaps manly exercise-of-excellence is what the Space Race was all about. Maybe. Lunik 15 has a problem parallel to its competitor-unable to cope with the messy terrain unsuitable for soft touchdown, it tries, tries, tries to light softly, searching for a haven, dutifully chirping binary signals to its masters back on Earth. Is it too absurd to feel pity for a machine? Lunik 15 was doomed from the moment the nozzle of its primary booster lit off; doomed to carry out a futile, pre-ordained march-left, right, left, right-to its own destruction, as doomed as a bird headed for invisible window-glass. Lunik 15 crashlands--or rather, just crashes- into the unforgiving surface, leaving only meaningless debris and one more of uncounted random pockmark-crater's. Shift a tiny measurement in time and space to the Eagle, continuing the approach. Armstrong keeps one eye on the ever-diminishing fuel reserves, and another on the terrain indicators. The ship's propellantsupply dwindles, dwindles-and then it hits bingo-fuel countdown. "Bingo": the waveoff point at which the Eagle must abort the mission, re-ascend to lunar orbit, go home empty-handed. Clock ticking, Armstrong continues the landing sequence: 100 feet, 3 1I 2 down, 9forward. Five percent fuel remaining. 75 feet. Down a-half, 6 forward. 60 seconds to bingo. 60 feet, down 2 Y,. 2 forward. 2 forward. 40 feet, down 2 1/2. Picking up some dust. 30 feet, 2 1/2 down. Drifting to the right a little. 20 feet, down a half. 30 seconds to bingo. Driftingforward just a little bit. 0ohn Henry said to the foreman,/He said: Now a man, he ain't nothin' but a man,/But before I'll let that ol' steam-drill beat me down,/ I'll die with my hammer in my hand, Lawd, . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lawdy,/I'd rather die with my hammer in my hand.) Touchdown. The Eagle an· nounces arrival in the Sea of Tranquility. Armstrong exits the craft, to take his famous step, with the world spectating. (Mr. Peabody wanted him a measure,/ So they brought out the tape so fine,/John Henry, he had laid him down 12 feet of cold, hard track,/ And that steam-drill it had only just laid 9, Lawd, Lawdy /That steam-drill, it had only justlaid 9.) Lunik 15 is a minor pimple in astronautical history texts, while the manin-the-moon will be remembered at least as long as Greek heroes are sung of. Perhaps the significance of this story is immortalized-man-beating-the-machine? That is the wf?y of the Moon race? Maybe. For Armstrong does something else, a little later, while exploring this new globe. He looks up at the sky, notes how small the Earth looks. Here he takes perspective far more Olympian than that of any man look~ ing down from an airplane upon ants in the ant-city below. (Perhaps that is the wf?y of putting a man on the Moon-our conquest of space. Yet what does it profit Man to conquer outer space, when he cannot master the chaotic cosmos within? No- stop schizophrenic-questioning, wait.) On impulse, Armstrong closes one eye ... then he holds up his hand to the lunar sky, and extends his thumb, to blot out his homeworld. He blots out the Pyramids, the White House, the Kremlin, blots out his wife and all his heirs and ancestors, blots out countless graves: of John Kennedy, of King Arthur, of Huey the King-fish Long, of the wheel's inventor, of the first lawbreaker. He blots out every army that is, and the dusty remains of every army that ever was. He blots out the anonymous Red antiaircraft gunner who-seeking and just barely failing to kill the evil, despicable foreign fighter jock-had shot up Armstrong's plane during the Korean War; blots out 1\.fona Lisa's mystery~smile and the Easter Island monuments' mystery-frowns- every ocean, all Seven Seas and every pond, lake, stream, fountain, well. He blots out every continent, forest, mountain, and glen. He blots out little Bethlehem, Jerusalem's walls, Very Small continued on page 8 �Jew's Clues continued from page 3 holding up a nirvana cd. We are staying with an old French man named Hubert, but you pronounce that in french and you'll see it sounds better. there is a picture of him and sara with his first love that he hadn't seen in 12 years. we all had lunch together friday. we've been downtown some and there are pictures of us one the beach. unfortunatly most of the pictures i took didn't turn out-dan let me borrow his old camera for the date and it's taken a lot of work getting all of the settings right. we've been on a fariswheel and i, randal darling, bought jegermiester (sp?-the maybe german alcohol that is in a green bottle and tastes like licorish or cough stuff and might have elk blood in it or something. This Huber is amazing, he is old and perfect, he drinks lots of wine and we drink with him, last night after dinner we sat around in the living room drinking woodford reserve by the fire and listened to all of la Bohem (puchini). there have been lots of little activites but i don't knoow if you need all of the details for us to win? i got an old school haircut at an old old barber shop by an english man with really curly thing white white hair, his name was collin and he has been cutting hair since he was 14-he's 80 now. at one point he made all the guys hanging around be quiet and turn the golf on tv down so he could sing a frank Sinatra song to sara who was one the floor. she rolled all over. then the other two barbers joined in for old man river. now we go to the deli that sara worked when she was living here last year, oh yea, she lived with hubert last year. we will get free food and then go to germany to by me a razor at the german apothicary. then we're going down town to go to musems then meeting humber for dinner. see you tm. david First of all, a few minor grammatical suggestions. Capital letters are often used at the beginning of sentences. Names are capitalized. For example, you successfully capitalize Hubert's name the first time when you call him "Hubert," and the second time when you call him "Huber." However, you fail to do so the third time, when you call him "humber." Also, switching verb tenses is extremely startling, especially when you are also changing topics: "she rolled all over. then the other two barbers joined in for old man river. now we go to the deli." Second, your article contained a few spelling errors. These are normally fine, but you should watch out for misspelling a word as a completely different word such as "thing" instead of "thinning." Thirdly, stylistically, it would have been nice to know who the hell Hubert is and how you knew him in the first 90% of your entry. It reads as if you stumbled upon some old French drunk who took you into his ramshackle house down by the Chicago pier. Finally, it sounds like your "date" sucked. You skipped class- and prankto see some old drunk and get a haircut? We're not sure that the word "date" can really mean spending three days vaguely near a girl in another city. In fact, had the letter been worded such that you and Hubert and been on a date, we would be far more inclined to give you the $75. After picturing you and Hubert drinking Jew's Clues continued on back page . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �Very Small continued from page 6 Athens, Larissa, the Forbidden City, Kyoto, Stonehenge, Wapakoneta. He blots out every copy of Hamlet ever printed, and all the world's stages, and the entire Globe Theater. He will later articulate what now strikes him, as his thumb stands framed against unlimited darkness lit only by unblinking jewels lying at distances farther than small human imagination can apprehend. ohn Henry's sweat was cold as clabber,/ An' his blood, it was runnin' red./He fell right down with his hammer, to the groun' ,/An' cried: I beat that ol' steam-drill, now I'm dead, Lawd, Lawdy,/I beat that ol' steamdrill, now I'm dead.) These words that he will utter, later, will not be broadcast to a worldwide audience, they will be overshadowed by his internationally-televised One Big Quote; these particular words and their context will be tucked away in trivia books, unnoticed and unheard ... until 30+ years later a caustic exNavy officer sitting in a room in a festive tourist-town will come across them in the dead of night, and will- for whatever reason- use them as title for yet another clever little bagatelle for a college newspaper ... more words, which will be read by a handful of people and then dropped into trashcans or stuck into drawers, to be lost, syllabic star-voyagers who can no longer see Planet #3-lost, like replicants' memories. Lost, in time ... like tears, in rain. Yet who among us can say what is ever really lost, wasted? For the sterile Moon's handmaiden-dance is key to Earth's life. The gravitational ticklings of the great satellite orbiting us drives the vital-rhythmic tides; a 8 hard Artemis shields her bigger, softer sister by accepting the brunt of stones cast from the asteroid belt. Luna's origins and movements are linked to the tiny axial tilt that bred those cyclical-seasons that in turn bred us, are linked to the creation and stirrings of Gaia's bitch-hot iron heart, hence to the gentle-maternal magnetic field that shelters delicate DNA from cosmic rays' searing curse. Chinese superstition holds silver coins as good luck; our night sky's silver coin is one bead in a spectrum-chain of energies connecting e. coli to platypi, redwood trees to red-headed woodpeckers, killer whales to killer bees, and every form of homo sapiens from Aborigine-elders to Zulu-children. So dead, cold, planetoidyes. Vain, no. Qohn Henry was a steel drivin' man, / He drove steel all over this-here land,/And every time a train goes a-rumblin' by his grave, /She blows: Down yonder lies a steel-drivin' man, Lawd, Lawdy,/Yonder lies a steel-drivin' man.) Some describe spaceflight as frivolity- a contention based on the proposition that world hunger is of greater concern than collecting exotic rocks. With the proposition I agree, but not the contention-for I do not limit "hunger'' to flesh-condition. The evil of physical ailments he not so much in their effect on the body, but rather their effect on the soul-signature etched into that body. Physical hunger-malnourishment- is evil when it dehumanizes. But remember too that hunger that is unnamable. Robert Penn Warren, on knowledge: "It was like the second when you come home late at night and see the yellow envelope of the telegram sticking out from under your door and you lean and pick it up, but don't open it yet, not for a second. \Xlhile you stand there in the hall, with the envelope in your hand, you feel there's an eye on you, a great big eye looking straight at you from miles and dark ;:tnd through walls and houses and through your coat and vest and hide and sees you huddled up way inside, in the dark inside which is you, inside yourself, like a clammy, sad little foetus you carry around inside yourself. The eye knows what's in the envelope, and it is watching you to see when you open it and know, too. But the clammy, sad little foetus which is you way down in the dark which is you too lifts up its sad little face and its eyes are blind, and it shivers cold inside you for it doesn't want to know what is in that envelope." Scientists reply' to scoffers: "I\ian lives on knowledge, not bread alone." But the wisest of them add that knowledge lies not in hoarded data-points, but in life- in t;:tsting the meanings of things. In tasting meaning-whether bitter or sweet- we taste the meat of being. "There's the cold in your stomach, but you open the envelope, you have to open the envelope, for the end of man is to know." We are all hungry, but it is not our bellies that growl-nor, even, our hammerringing intellects. At this fleeting moment, in 1969, standing on the desolate orb to which we all owe a life-debt- his bootprint stamped into a landscape of absolute silence that can carry neither joy's laughter nor sorrow's wail, his thumb blotting out the whole world- N eilAlden Armstrong might truly know, in some hidden corner of his self, why we really sent a man to the moon. The rest of us must be content merely to guess, with our small imaginations. . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �Senior Orals continued from page 2 in paperback-the first encyclopedia· of manners, by one of America's leading authorities on etiquette and style." Impressive. There are eviden tly times when do ing the right thing can be definitively settled, in remarkable detail to a surpri sing degree of exactness. The second book I mentioned is organized from A to ZA la Carte to Z ipper. But what times are these? Looking in my two reference works on civilized conduct I find the following: births; comingsof-age; graduations; courtships; weddings; the hosting of guests in the home; and last-but not least?-funerals. Of course I have left out a great many matters treated in these books-so many, in fact, that I am tempted to conclude, from th eir table of contents, that doing the right thing can be definitively settled , in remarkable detail to a su rprising degree of exactness, for just about every time in life we find ourselves with others, and thus for just about every time of life there is. Wha t to do-from A to Z. But let u s limit our attention to tho se occasions in life that are-like the Senior Oral -typically clothed in ceremony. We might notice first how they seem to involve a change on the level of substance. Ceremonies over a birth or death, of course, recognize substantial change explicitly. But comings-of-age, graduations, weddings, and the like, also recognizeeven help achieve-a change of identity. A nd perhaps this change can be discerned in smaller social occasions as well. In every such ceremonial case, at least, for those being recognized, the question "who am I?" demands a different answer by the ceremony's end than it did before the ceremony began. Before I was nothing; now I am something. Before I was something; now I am nothing-or some thing else. Before I was a boy; now I am a manand at a later now, an educated man. Before I was an educated man; now I am a hus band. Or now both husband and father. And again, a similar change of identity might be di scerned in smaller social occasions, or even thought to underlie all such occasions . Before I was a stranger; now I am a guest. Before I was a guest; now I am a friend. Before I was someone who stood and sat alone; now I am someone w ho stands and sits with others. In any case, the more ceremonial the occasion , the more it seems to involve the explici t crossing of a threshold-and in so mething like the way I defined thresholds above. For insofar as the change in identity is substantial, not m erely incidental, it makes for a correspondingly substantial differentiation, in relation to that change in identity, of everything there is into distinct ye t adjacent domains. The entire world is divided be tween what it was for me before, and what it is for me now, as I go from nothing to something, or from boy to man, and thence to educated mao, hus band, fa th er, and finall y from all I have become to nothing once again. Or perhaps to something else, and maybe more, in kind. And as my two reference works on being civilized can show us in exhau stive detail, the more ceremonial the occasion, the more comportment in our conduct the occasion calls for-again in something like the way I defined comportment above. T he ceremony will involve participant and witness alike in various non-rectilinear motions, some done successively and others simultaneously, in a fashion dictated by the nature of the change and the way it divides the world , for those being transform ed, between what it was and what it is. Presumably, then, our comportment is correspondingly a s substantial as the thre shold that calls for it. But how ? In circles, after all, both thresh o ld and comportment were categorically the same, defined in relation to place. But in ceremonies threshold and comportment seem categorically opposed. For the threshold, as we have seen, involves substantial change; but the comportment-as not a single illustra tion in Miss Manners might refute- seems defined to involve a change of place, or better, position, but in any case a change incidental to genuinely substantial tran sformation. Indeed, this categorical gap between thresho ld and comportment is likely why we can think poorly of ceremonies as intrusions upon the most important events of life, where a manifold of empty postures are dictated when a single gesture from the heart might suffice, uniting participant, wi tn ess, and world more substantially than they could ever be united, say, in dress. And h ere we are at the Senior Oral, following a protocol from without, yet at a College where everything is meant to be originated from within, and we are guided not by memos outlining protocols, but rather by books and the conversations they ins pire. Clothing the Senior Oral in ceremony, then, would seem only to cover up whatever change in substance it is meant to adorn. Or doe s it? For notice my silent shift in terms in characterizing this gap between threshold and comportment. Initially, it was a gap between the substantial and incidental; now it seems to have become a gap between the internal and external . But perhaps this is just a deeper pair of terms. A fter all, we are likelier to consider what we do incidental to u s if it feels external to us, originating from without rather than from within. Still, are we right to identify the two? Is the external indeed a mark of the incidental? Actua lly, my tangent through Euclid sugges ts just the opposite: the external is in fact a mark of the substantial. For in a circle, at any rate, the very boundary that encloses and contain s it t hus makes it be the circle it is. And what I construed as a differentiation of space into place could perhaps be better understood as an individuation of space into figure. But the boundary that achieves it in either senseas I noted two articles ago-is what gives to the circle its exterior, not interior. Indeed, it would seem obvious that having an inside mean s having an outside, and require little further thought to infer that while an interio r may indeed be part of the privilege of being substantial, an exterior will be part of the burden in turn. But if this is so obvious, then why is it so easy to consider exteriors incidental as we do, rather than substantial as they are? But perhaps it isn't so obvious that having an inside means having an outside. For suppose we do have exteriors, and in something like the way circles have exteriors. So draw yours. What did yo u draw? Did it look anything like the diagram of Elements 1.12? I hope so .... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 9 1 �Intermission continued from front page we officially know now there were no such weapons, if there was a strong doubt as to their presence before the United States began military action, it seems the proper way to "err on the side of life" would have been to wait for more certain results. There have been 1,553 U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq since the invasions began two years ago. There have been at least 17,000 Iraqi civilians (not soldiers) killed since the United States first attacked Iraq. It seems that since the Administration's justifica~ tion for war was not so firm, since no weapons were found, we can safely say that George W Bush did not ''err on the side of life." But one might cry, "It was an intelligence failure! It is not their fault! They had the best of intentions! They were trying to protect American lives through their actions!" Fair enough. Instead, Let us look at a case that more readily applies to the context of which this statement concerning life was made. Terri Schiavo was the biggest news story of the last few months (until the pope died). But what was so special about Terri Schiavo? Was she the only person teetering on the edge of life and death because of legal proceedings? Anyone who has researched either death penalty cases or euthanasia cases knows that many individuals in this country have fought and do fight for life, or the right to die, against the courts. So was it important that there was a disagreement between the husband and the parents as to who had the proper legal authority to make this important decision for Terri? While the law puts the decision clearly in the hands of the husband, did he have a conflict of interest? This is definitely a critical issue in this case. So why didn't anyone care about Sun Hudson? Sun Hudson was a five month old baby. He died right in the midst of the Terri Schiavo controversy. While his mother fought to keep him alive as long as possible (she "erred on the side of life" if you wish), the hospital, against her wishes, terminated all life support. In defense of the doctors, Sun had a terminal illness and they felt nothing could be done for him, but with no health insurance, Sun's mother was unable to legally disagree with them. If she had had the money to support Sun, he assuredly would have lived longer. The hospital, choosing not to "err on the side of life," felt it was too expensive to support an infant that was going to die anyway. So what does this have to do with George W. Bush and his statement about life? In 1999, when President Bush was Texas Governor Bush, he signed into legislation the Advanced Directives Act. This is a document concerning when feeding and respiratory support ought to be removed, and it takes the right to decide away from the parents and gives it to the hospitals. If an individual has the financial means to stay in a hospital, and therefore alive, this individual can do so. But if another individual is unable to pay their hospital bills, the doctors pull the plug and the individual dies. George W Bush was perfectly fine with this, so much so that he signed it into law. This does not appear to "err on the side of life." George W Bush did not declare that we ought to "err on the side oflife" only when the life in question has a certain amount of wealth. So it is safe now to call Mr. Bush a moral hypocrite. The goal of this intermission was not to digress from the overarching subject of this series of articles, nor was it intended to be a response to Mr. Colten, or to the Nick Colten rapid response team. It is only intended as a plaintive request to inspect any moral condemnation for traces of hypocrisy. While it seems almost too obvious to say that "if they do it, and it is wrong, then when we do it, it is also wrong," all St. John's students know that while something may be obvious, it is still important to point it out so as not to forget it. Next week: Part III (seriously) to protect him from harm. This reliance on Rome is of course consonant with his efforts to justify-sanctify in fact-temporal powers (Romans 13) and to legitimize slavery (numerous sections in the Epistles). Paul's endorsement of the status quo was of course prudent-and probably essential to the spread of Christianity-but a betrayal of Jesus nonetheless. Furthermore, Paul's tacit support for slavery probably did fa:r more to maintain the institution of slavery in America than Justice Taney's opinion in the Dred Scott Decision. In addition to Christianity's impossible standards, I also object to its masochism. Suffering and death are glorified, while earthly life, with its pleasures and attachments, is denigrated. I can see why some people-those who hate them- selves, in the words of Pascal-might find it attractive, but I question its healthiness. Furthermore, even if true Christianity merely glorifies the suffering and death of Christ and his followers-it seems all too easy for some of its supposed adherents to jump over from masochism to sadism. It's for these reasons, principally, that I am quite often troubled by Christianity, and why I am neither a follower of Jesus nor someone who wishes he were one. I much prefer the outlook of people like Montaigne, who, among very many other fine things, wrote: "The most beautiful lives, to my mind, are those that conform to the common human pattern, with order, but without miracle or eccentricity." My Problem continued from page 4 Christian while not actually following Jesus). We can then feel bad about ourselves or we can begin to become indifferent to sinning. Of course another possibility is that we decide to theologize and look for loopholes in the teachings of Jesus-or just ignore him outright, as, say, the "Just War Doctrine" does to Matthew 5:39's injunction to "turn the other cheek." This approach of course not only betrays the particular teachings of Jesus, but is also contrary to Jesus's general opposition to the way his contemporaries were failing to be true to the Law. To my mind, the first of these great betrayers/theologians was Paul. Instead of putting his faith in God and possibly being a martyr for Jesus-like StephenPaul relied on Caesar-in the form of the legionnaires and provincial authorities- 10 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �l Johnnie continued from front page vilians like ourselves are unable to pour water into a chemi cal heater and not burn ourselves without guidance. Heated, the Meatloaf with Mashed Potatoes tas tes exactly like Meatloaf with Mashed Potatoes (the TV dinner style meals at the frozen section). Except for one thing - the meat is bright orange. MREs have apparently come a long way in food technology ever since their last redesign. However, more lucky and seasoned individuals (i.e., the Marines) do the smart thing and use the 11RE container, dumping in almost every single food item and stirring. Apparently, the food is a lot more palatable that way. 1230- 'Cease-fue!' After lunch, the fun begins. My helicopter, a member of the Preside ntial HMX-1 squadron, upon take-off for the fuing range, develops an interesting problem - the rear door does not fully close, a situation that the pilot first tries to remedy by jerking the plane up-and-down, and then sending a crewman back to try to make it shut. The door stays open. Upon arrival at the firing range, we are herded onto bleachers, whereupon the Marines present an excellent show-and-tell demonstration of the various components of the U.S. Marine Corps. This is followed- DATE DUE up almost immediately by a live-fire combined arms exercise with Marine infantrymen, armored vehicles, and helicopter gunships all combining their powers to plaster the living-heck out of a few luckless square acres of land with metal targets on it. This is followed by our turn at the firing range. We are given a 10-minu te lecture on range safety, followed by the admonition that if we felt uncomfortable with anything at all, we were to yell 'Cease-fire' or 'Freeze,' whereupon everybody was supposed to stop blowing tl1ings up. It was cool. That's the dumbest way to say it, but it was indescribably cool to let loose on some luckless (or perhaps, lucky, because of my execrable shooting) target with a .50 cal machine gun. 1630 - Back to the Daily Slog After a couple hours of blowing stuff up, inhaling 'smokeless' gunpowder, and watching helicopters take turns straftng targets and u nloading troops, it was time to h ead back to D.C., and the fun drive back to Annapolis on a Friday aft ernoon. The day's events really demonstrated a couple of things to me. The ftrst was the incredible professionalism and courage of the U.S. Marine Corps as a whole, and its members individually. Having seen members of the chaperone entourage in suits in th eir daily jobs with my office, it was striking to see them become Marine officers and mesh with the rest of the military. At any time, those erstwhile Marines in normal business suits would be willing and trained to go into a field of fire, accomplish their objective, and return home safely. I really got the sense that the U.S. Marine Corps has the corps d'esprit that Plato must have been thinking about with his guardJohnnie continued on back page . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 11 �l THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Irony continued from page 5 show-it all happens on the 2nd level, in the full acknowledgment of the spectacle. Third Level Irony Third level irony: "I know that you do not know that I know that I suck." This is again a dialectical movement. What do I mean by ''dialectical movement"? In the Hegelian sense, each level subsumes the previous one, that is, it destroys it but includes it in itself. The second level achieves the first, but in a way negates its object. Instead of the world viewed, it is the viewer of the world that is taken in irony's scope. The third level destroys the second, but includes i t irony twists back again to look at the world, not from an elevated position or a lowered one; irony on the Yd level transcends perspective. This is a real trick. It is often impossible to detect third level irony. J'v1uecke in The Compass ofIrony discusses something similar; he calls it "private irony." His work is worth considering, but I mention it only in passing here for he does not discuss 3'd level irony in this, its most fascinating light: what is said may actually be what is intended, what is seemingly ironic may not actually be so, etc. It is like Pascal's hierarchy-the man who is half-learned condemns the piety of the simple man, but the truly educated one condones it and knows it to be the best. 3'd level irony is mysterious; it looks like 1st level irony, it is ironic about znd level irony, but it is, in fact, something completely different. The user of this irony, the intender, is not superior, is not inferior, he is not equal with the object of his irony. He transcends himself and thus speaks for all men, at all times; he is outside of the ego and outside of intention. When books are said to have an esoteric meaning, a real truth hidden under an apparent, deceiving apparition, this is what is meant. Literary criticism fails here because it places every author or playwright in himself, in his own time and place. But through third level irony the author is transcendent, through him we glimpse not the ephemeral but the eternal truth. This is the end and ultimate destination of irony, which is the crown jewel of our human expresswn. 12 wanted to really minimize casualties, we needed robots- if we used real people, we ians in the Republic. Both male and female were going to get real deaths. At the same service members treated each other equally, time, when I asked higher-up officers about and (in the case of the martial arts demon- this issue or when somebody else asked stration) revealed that in war, it was the skills about battlefield clean-up, we were given a that counted to get the job done. The 1\1a- nice politically correct answer. We were conrines on Marine Day really drove home the stantly told that in the Marines, it was the point that they were defending the qualities people that made the difference- how trainthat America stands for (however much ing and discipline allowed the Marines to those qualities are debated politically), and beat all the odds in the recent drive to that in time of war or peace, a Marine be- Baghdad; and yet, the general at the end of longed to the same organization that has the day said that it was absolutely critical that had a valiant and glorious 200-year history the 1v1arines get the best possible equipment, in protecting America's independence and and funding for the newest technological deinterests. velopmental projects. Still, in spite of the At the same time, however, I was con- political positioning, I was struck by the Mastantly confronted with glaring extremes. It rines' admirable goal in attempting to reach was refreshing to see the enlisted men speak and transcend their motto: Semper Fi! (Alabout their duties with absolute clarity and ways Faithful) honesty. It was even more impressive when I got exactly ten pages of seminar reada Captain who had been in Iraq spoke about ing done. the absolute inadequacy of armoring Questions about this article can be subHumvees and Trucks, saying that if we mitted to my e-mail address: wye@sjca.edu Johnnie continued £com page 11 Jew's Clues continued from page 7 wine, staring into each others' eyes by the fire, we almost did award you the money, but then we didn't. You don't seem to understand what really happened: Saramax brought her friend Hubert a hot dude to have a fling with, but this hot dude was too damn dense. Therefore, we have made a preliminary ruling: Neither of these two events were really "dates." Rather, they were dumbasses writing poorly about things that only incidentally happened to them. David Prichard's was funnier. EVERYONE HAS ONE WEEK TO SUBMIT A REAL STORY OF AN ACTUAL DATE, OR DAVID PRICHARD WILL WIN $75 BY DEFAULT. YOUR ENTRIES ARE DUE THIS SUNDAY, WHICH WE NOW REALIZE MEANS YOU HAVE LESS THAN ONE WEEK TO SUBMIT A REAL STORY OF AN ACTUAL DATE. BUT IT'S TOO LATE FOR US TO GO BACK . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AND CHANGE THAT. SO, TO THOSE OF YOU WHO KEEP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU'RE GOING TO ENTER, BE AWARE THAT IF YOU DON'T, DAVID PRICHARD WILL SPEND $75 ON ANOTHER ONE OF HIS STUPID CARDIGANS, AND WE DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE THAT ON YOUR CONSCIENCE. ].C.'s Shaloms Shalom to Shiloh Books. Shiloh was one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. Shalom to Steve Zweibel. Steve tried to run the dishwasher in Aaron's house, but he didn't so much RUN the dishwasher as put LAUNDRY DETERGENT in it, which flooded the kitchen with sudsy water. Shalom to Chris Aamot, Judy Seeger Allison Hennigan, Kate Sullivan, and Elizabeth Scott for their help at Kaffehaus. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 23 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-04-19 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 23 of The Gadfly. Published April 19, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.23 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/a992b24c6e651cf6e6a46f3b04f2b95b.pdf dfb8685c10b1f6522422b2faf66a0626 PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY l1696H E IIIIIIllIllIIllllililllifliillllillllilfllillIll IIIllIIllIIII GADFLY The St. John's College Student Week{y Volume XXVI, Issue 24 Annapolis, Mmyland April 27, 2005 A Problem with Christianity? by Max Kronberc Staff Writer I am writing this article in response to Nick Colten's article "My Problem with Christianity: Giving 'The Devil' His Due," which was printed in last week's Gatif!J. Since his article was a response to an article written by Sean Valles in the issue before last, I am continuing the infamous tradition of articles which spawn articles which spawn articles, a progression with no real end in sight, save the chance that one of the participants becomes bored and stops responding. To those who are annoyed by this tradition, which I conservatively estimate to be everyone, I can only apologize, and point out that it is not that absurd for a college newspaper, especially one that routinely publishes multipart articles, pictures of peoples' feet, and a humor column called "Jews' Clues." I must give two caveats before I can begin: I am neither an expert in the doctrines of Christianity, nor can I be called, by any sensible definition, a Christian. I will try to point out some problems I see in 1vfr. Colten's analysis of Christianity, but I would hope if any of what I write seems wrong to believers, or to those with a better understanding than I, that they will write in to correct me. In addition, in his article 1\1r. Colten makes mention of the fact that he has a longer discussion of Christianity inside his senior essay, which I have not read. It is possible that I have misunderstood statements in what he calls his "short version," and in that case I rely on him correct me. The impetus for I\1r. Colten's discussion was the Terri Schiavo case, which I will not be mentioning here. As a lead into his critique, Mr. Colten says he believes Christianity's "attitude toward life and death is very conducive to both hypocrisy and dangerous fanaticism." Since this is not a key part of his argument, I will only point out that the ability of an idea or belief to lead to evils is in no way an indication of its lack truth or power, and may often indicate the opposite. The knowledge of some "magi- cal foundations" of the world is not conducive to the invention of nuclear weapons; knowledge of atomic theory is. I am, in fact, tempted to say that the truer an idea or belief is, the more dangerous it is, but now is not the time for this issue. 1\<Ir. Colten begins his discussion proper by saying that he believes Christianity to be ''inhuman-even anti-human," and that he believes this to be true both of Jesus's teachings, and of those of Christians who came after him. We must then look at Mr. Cohen's specific points, bearing in mind what he says is his key problem with Christianity. Christianity continued on page 3 Senior Orals Part Five by Daniel Harrell Tutor One of the more intriguing theorems in Book I of Euclid's E!eme11ts is Proposition 12, which in Heath's rendering goes as follows: "To a given infinite straight line, from a given point which is not on it, to draw a perpendicular straight line." How can the given straight line here be infinite? Are there such lines in Euclid? Could Euclid really mean a line without extremities that is straight? Perhaps he does. For as the proof of I.12 shows, dropping a perpendicular to that line can be done without any regard for either its actual length, or for any definite part of that length, or even for the magnitude of inclination involved. 1\<foreover, a perpendicular establishes an orientation or position to this infinite straight line only derivatively; more fundamentally, as Euclid later shows in Xl.S, this perpendicular establishes its singular orientation or position in relation to an entire plane of such lines. And a plane, according to Leibniz (according to Heath), divides the whole of geometric space into two congruent parts. But surely this would involve a differentiation of geometric space in a quite different-even contrary-mode from the one we saw embodied in the circle and generalized as a threshold. In that case we were considering a wholly determining spatial enclosure; in this case, we seem to be considering a wholly determining spatial orientation. But might we then generalize the perpendicular as a comportment to everything else there is? Indeed we could-and in fact we have, in regard to ourselves, at least for the week we freshmen read Erwin Straus's essay "The Upright Posture" with any sympathy at all. I know I did. So I shall simply grant its truth, Orals continued on page 4 �THE ~GADFLY Editors-in-Chief Christopher B. Utter Shoshana Goldstein Photographer Clark Saylor Business Manager Cathy Keene Contributing to this Issue NickColten Amilthanayagam David Daniel Harrell AlecKast Blake Kiltoff Max Kronberg Jeny Salyer Sean Valles Founded in 1980, the Gadf/y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within arc the the sole responsibility of the author(s)and do not ncccssarilly represent the opinions of the Gar!ffy staff. The Gadffy reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadj!y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Deadline: Sunday at noon, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions will be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to sjcgadfly@yahoo.com. 2 . THE GADFLY . . . . . . . Big Dadcfy by Amirthanayagam David Tutor Oh big Daddy You got to be in the sky We all think so high of you I wish you were the king, man And everybody did what you said All over the freakin' world. I'm hungry man And I need a favour, 'cos I done wrong in the family, so help me out You know I look the other way when I'm on rl1e receiving end Don't make it so I think maybe you're not for real No way: you're the Protector: keep me safe 'til this blows over 'Cos'n you got the power, Daddy Yeah you the man And Lord Almighry do you got the rep, Since I done my time, 'til the end of time. Peace. An Erotic Poem by Blake Kiltoff Every slip of flesh on her, rarely when her neck's slightly bare, or her arm or her hand, each atom exuding gravity, a force on my being, my fibre, all aroused by an innocent smile or a touch from fingertips. God, her hair, the smell of flowers in her air like Spring but I forget to breathe, I forget time and again I'm lost in winter alone alone alone Yet there she is and how can I fear to die alone when those eyes shine on me promises of stars every night if I can just make them mine, see them close by, closed, not locked away but tightening an embrace squeezed shut like my arms on her waist face to face, heart to heart, pressing caressing and beating as one, if only she would ask for that moment, that kiss with eternity when lies and truth and love and hate are nothing but blossoms in the wind, a mere moment that lives longer than any of us, a moment of Life, a moment with nothing, because only when two are one are we ever alone and only when alone are we God. - if only she would ask. Gusts by Alec Kast When I walk around outside, sometimes I see Nature playing at races. Over a fleet ofleaves, my feet tread carefully home; I would give much to float for miles in those leafy shoes. Under rl1ose eyes, peace would be nothing, fear and death rl1e same, and every instant a haze. \Vhat dread works could I never build with those hands, and what failures could bother me? The leaf stands aloof, and I can only watch it passing by my thinking life. Note: In Memory of Autumn. �Christianity continued from front page His first point is that Jesus asks his followers to do the impossible. The moral code that Jesus sets forth is one that man simply cannot live up to, and that therefore, we are all sinners. So far lvir. Colten has agreed with every Christian theologian I know of. He then says, "\Vhat good is this? The only likely results are guilt (for being a failure) or hypocrisy (calling yourself a Christian while not actually following Jesus)." To touch on his second point first, I cannot see how someone is failing to be a Christian by failing to be perfect. Neither the Nicene Creed nor the Apostles' Creed, the two generally accepted statements by which one can determine whether or not he is a Christian, have any mention of perfection. Jesus indeed calls men to perfection, but his constant talk of forgiveness would seem strange if he envisioned followers who would not need it. An example of Jesus's opinion of those who do not live up to him can be seen in his treatment of St. Peter: Peter falls through the waves because he does not have faith; Peter cuts the ear off one of the men in Gethsem~ne and has to be restrained by Jesus; Peter speaks at one point such that Jesus must address him by saying, "Get behind me, Satan"; fmally, and perhaps most interestingly, Peter denies Jesus three times, as Jesus knew he would. How does Jesus repay this man, who l\.1r. Colten would surely have us see as a hypocrite? Jesus tells him, "Blessed are you, Simon-bar-Jonah ... And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it"(Matt. 16: 17-18). Jesus, at least, is not terribly concerned about the inability of his followers to be perfect-in fact, if you believe Christian doctrine, it is the very reason he came to earth, and the very reason why it is through God's grace alone that men can be saved. The inability to live up to these ideals is the key part of a Christian's faiththe only type of Christian hypocrisy I can imagine would be a Christian claiming that he would not fail. The admission of his propensity to fail would not absolve the Christian for any specific failing, but would certainly seem to save him from being a hypocrite. A hypocrite is someone who says one thing and does another-all serious Christians say they will fail, so there cannot be any hypocrisy when they do. As this past section was quite long, I will address Mr. Colten's first consequence of the imperfectability of man (namely, that man would feel guilty for being a failure) in a manner so short as to seem flippant, but I mean it very seriously: What's wrong with guilt? If a man has done something wrong, should he not feel guilt? Perhaps Mr. Colten dislikes the idea because men might spend their whole lives feeling guilty for different actions. If this is the case, then I agree with him, it seems a hard and heavy result. But does hard and unattractive equal wrong? I can see no reason why religion and faith, which claim to be the most important things in life, should be easy-the most important, it seems, might be the hardest, and being the hardest need not make it the worst. Raising a child is a much greater burden than building a bookshelf, but its heavy load is welcomed. I'vfr. Colten then says there is a third possibility, namely, the attempt to theologize and find "loopholes" in the teachings of Jesus. The example he gives is that of Paul, whom he calls, "the first of these great betrayers/theologians." :Mr. Col ten claims that Paul relied on the state instead of putting his faith in God. It is true that Paul makes many appeals to the Rome, and employs the fact that he is a Roman citizen to demand justice-yet everywhere he goes he is constantly preaching, and constantly being put in jail as a result. Mr. Colten implies that had he put his faith in God he would have been martyred like St. Stephen; but it seems possible that his faith told him that what he should do is preserve his life, and tradition does say that Paul was finally martyred in Rome. Mr. Colten says that Paul endorsed the status quo of the Roman state, and tried to sanctify temporal powers, and that these were betrayals of Jesus. I do not know Jesus's views on the sanctity of earthly powers, and I doubt that they were fully consonant with Paul's, but Jesus's focus does not seem to be on the improvement of the state for the sake of men, but the improvement of men for themselves and for God. He says, "Render therefore to Caesar the thing's that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's."(Matt. 22:21) Mr. Colten may disagree with Jesus and Paul, but Paul does not appear to be betraying Jesus. I'vfr. Colten says in his final attack on Paul that he has no real problem with slavery. Following the example of Peter, I see no problem with any of these followers making mistakes, and I believe this to be one of Paul's. I disagree with Paul, but believe that Paul was motivated by a belief that the hereafter is what the slave should focus on, not the present. This certainly seems unkind and inhuman, but if we allow ourselves the possibility that Paul could be right, then it would be inhuman of him not to say it, if it was what he believed. And now we are back to Mr. Colten's statement about the inhumanity of Christianity. Mr. Cohen's claim that Christianity is inhuman, which emerges again at the end of his article when he questions the "healthiChristianity continued on page 6 The Political Forum Presents: The Terri Schiavo Case Wednesdqy April 2 7 3:45pm Conversation Room Steve Thomas (SF'74) will be on hand to give a presentation and lead a discussion on the legal aspects if the Florida case that drew national attention. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 3 �Orals continued from front page assume its details, and take it that we are indeed inherently and abidingly upright in comportment, actively perpendicular at every wakeful moment to everything else there lS. We might still ask what kind of comportment this is, exactly, and what kind of further threshold, if any, it involves. What kind of contact with everything else have we in fact made in being steadfastly upright? And how does it not prevent us from ever comporting ourselves to anything in particular? For my original example of comportment would seem to be in one sense a negation of uprightness on behalf of inchnation: a straight line cannot be fitted in or around a circle, it would seem, if it must remain in any sense perpendicular. To inscribe or circumscribe a boundary means having in some sense to recline. Moreover, any motion of a straight line that preserves its perpendicularity would seem to anchor it to a rectilinear line of movement against which its continual uprightness is defined and sustained. But I earlier suggested that we take all such rectilinear motions as transgressive in relation to thresholds. And in this case the motion would seem to be doubly trangressive, for in fact it produces two such lines to form a continuous plane of movement, possessing a base representing the perpendicular's line of forward motion, and a height representing the perpendicular itself at whatever point in its line of motion it happens to be. The perpendicular's motion, then, would seem to be not only stubbornly rectilinear as whole, but also literally full of itself in every part, culminating at the very end in only a more expansive figure of self-containment. How could this motion then count as a genuine comportment to anything else-much less to everything else? Is it possible we could ever move in a straight line forward but conformingly to something else by remaining ourselves all along tl1e way and only reaching ourselves by the very end? Well, actually yes-all the time-for isn't this precisely what happens when we reach anything else in awareness? Think of a circle again (but I might have picked any object I've discussed in these articles, from circles to Senior Orals). Do you have one in mind? Good. Haven't you in a sense just gone in a straight line forward to that circle itself, while staying yourself all the while, and in reaching that circle made it yours-if only for the 4 . THE GADFLY . moment you have it in mind? Indeed, where is this circle you conceive if not somehow in you in being somethingforyou, rather than something simply ofyou (like your hair) or from you (like your words)? We might call this circle yours insofar as it becomes an object in addition to being a subject: it begins as something in itself (neither square nor baseball nor planet but circle) that is thus other than you, but once considered by you now belongs to you. But could this then be how we are upright to everything else: steadfastly and comportingly thus, in being mindfully thus? In fact, I assumed as much in my last article's account of more ceremonial crossings of thresholds involving substantive changes of identity, which again divide the entire world between what it was before and what it is now~Jor me, as I undergo that change in identity. Although I used this locution in passing, what could I have meant by any object "for me"-but especially the world-if not this object as it bears on the mindful me: alive, awake, and aware. But if this is what I meant-and if what I meant is true-then my brief account of our upright comportment must be at best partial. For think of a circle yet again. Got it? Good. You've moved straight to it and made it yours. But who is the "you," exactly, it now belongs to? And how could this "you" undergo any change in identity that might inflect or inform or even transform just what this circle (not yet to speak of the whole world) is for you? Of course in one sense your awareness, in being of a circle rather than ofyou, makes the "you" the circle belongs to a kind of nothing. But of course in another sense your awareness of this circle, in beingyours and no one else S, makes the "you" the circle belongs to a kind of everything. And the ambiguity in your presence comes with an ambiguity in your location. For if I was asked where the circle itself is, I might wave my hands heavenward in a Platonic mood, orsobered up by Aristotle-touch my wedding ring. But if I was asked where the awareness of this circle is, I would be tempted to point my finger impolitely straight at youas if I saw an awareness of the circle there rather than you. Or is that you? As the locus of this awareness, just who are you? What have you become? The circle? A thought of the circle? Or everything else you are in addition? And where are you in turn? In the heavens? On my wedding ring? Wherever the circle itself resides? Or rather wherever you happen to be sitting right now in thinking of it? In J\fcDowell? On a dorm room bed? Or perhaps the circle itself resides nowhere but here and now: wherever you are when thinking of it. So think again of a circle, and then tell me the truth: did you go to the circle, or did it come to you? I leave any deeper or fuller account of who or where we are in being mindfully so to certain mysterious pages in De Anima. 1,fy only suggestion is this: we not only consider our inherent comportment in the world to be mindful, but also recognize an inherent predicament in the dislocating ambiguity of identity and place that comes with being mindful. And as I have characterized our comportment as one involving an inherent uprightl!ess; I shall characterize our predicament as one involving an inherent nakedness. The upright you-awake and aware~is a receptive you, an open you, an exteriorless you; the you then for you and never for me; the you I am presently having trouble locating in the world in any univocal way. But this leaves another you that is clearly always somewhere in the world; the you that is always for meyet perhaps never fully for you. This is the you that I can point to; the you thus burdened with that very aspect of your standing-your subsistence-that is overcome in your thinking of anything else, even in making yourself that something else in thought. For this aspect of your standing or subsistence is your outside, your exterior; that inescapable boundary dividing where you end and the rest of the world begins, which renders you inescapably an object, but not for you; rather for any- and everything else, as an object to be considered, confronted, or simply collided with. This, then, is the part of you it seems can never be made wholly yours, and never thereby wholly denied to me as if it could be erased or hidden or covered up, no matter what you do to think it through. For this, after all, is the part of you that is inherently more than any mere object of thought. It is that feature of your standing in the world that makes you not simply mindful of it, but bodily ensconced-even entangled-in it. But this part of you would then seem to be all of you, in being what makes you finally real, a fellow-inhabitant of everything else in the world there is, and that your inherent uprightness allows you not simply to confront or consume but consider. Yet while Orals continued on page 6 �Stop Taking Yourself So F-ing Seriously: Mr. Harrell, We Meet Again. by Sean, "The Devil," Valles Staff Writer I'm really not sure where to start here. In the first place, it's deeply ironic in that I am now going to be giving a defense of formality and etiquette in response to an individual with whom I've previously had the opposite intellectual dynamic. But as I do not consider Mr. Harrell's opinions hypocritical in light of his previous disagreements with me, neither do I consider my own opinions on etiquette and formality to be in conflict with my previously stated ones. But I've gotta say, this sh*t is f***ing hilarious to me. I must admit before I even start my argument that I have no idea what the f*ck most of the content of Mr. Harrell's last four articles had to do with ... if anything. I was kind of hoping that the last installment would lay down some serious moral science and allow me to understand what in the name of Euclid's scrotum circles have to do with senior orals. It's not that I think the geometry stuff is wrong or pointless, I'm just saying that it's so mindnumbingly irrelevant and self-important that I wonder how it's possible for it to exist at all. It's like asking Matt Reiner what he thinks The Good is, and then sitting back and riding the ensuing dialectic doldrums. Content of the articles aside, it's the feigned academic self-indulgence that is most disappointing. I would like to categorically refute the argument put forward in Mr. Harrell's articles, but due to the oddly allegorical nature of his axioms of human nature I will not even attempt a counter-proof. No, I just say that I disagree. I disagree that senior orals are over-formalized, I disagree that there is any identity issue in the participation in formal exercises and I disagree that there is any useful lemma to be constructed about human life from the use of pure geometry (F*ck, it wasn't even funny.). There is no dissipation of identity in the crossing from the familiar and comfortable to the formal. If a St. John's student has completed nearly four years of study and still has not become comfortable with the structured and formallyminded practices of the college, then perhaps he or she has come to the wrong place. We do not call each other by first name in class (or even out of class in many cases), we distrust the right of students to silently absorb knowledge without participation, and we actually have dialectic exchanges as often as we have conversations. There is no significant border-crossing between any of these practices and the current system of senior oral examination. In fact the only complaint I have heard from my peers about the current system is the daunting fact that the orals are public. This is an understandable source of fear, but is in my opinion more of a bridge to the postgraduation world of inevitable and random human contact than anything else. I wonder, on whose behalf did .i\fr. Harrell write his multi-volume critique? Was it for the students, himself, other tutors, or was it perhaps a purely intellectual critique (read: for no body's benefit)? I find the lack of consideration for student concerns to be disturbing. Stop and think of what an alternative to the formality of the senior oral might look like. Three tutors invite a senior to some random room for a "chat" about his or her newly finished paper. No big deal. Except, this chat is necessary for the student's graduation and is also graded. So much for the ruse of informality. No matter how you dress it, a senior oral is a major event in a student's academic career. Any attempt to artificially reduce the external formality or importance of the event is disrespectful to the students who must be examined in them. Basically, a senior oral is a pretty damn big deal, and I know that I don't want someone to jerk me around saying that I don't need to be so "formal" about the most rigorous academic endeavor of my life thus far. But maybe it's just me. by Blake Kiltof£ Oh, King Oedipus, your fate is cursed but your pain is a boon for me. The Fates have not done their worst and my blessing you are soon to see. Oh Gods, you're cruel to rob a man of sight and yet leave him his dreams! To think, to feel, to smell and hear in the night, to touch and taste sweet creams. Oh, Oedipus, I feel your pain, your empty soul, and like a dentist's hand in the dark and wet I fill your maim, your empty hole, and I lose myself there in the black, writhing in the dark, I push and I pull, lost, my heart pounding, thumping, humping my breast, and I find myself again, freed, exhausted, a miner come out of the cave and still wearing its dust, and you, Sweet King, there is a tear in your eye. , , . , , . . . , , , , . , . , . , , , , , , , , , . , , , . , THE GADFLY , 5 �Breakfast With Helen by Amirthanayagam David Tutor Oh you silly, drink your tea in peace. Yes of course there is a true principle Of relativity, nature is not Arbitrary, nor does she privilege A particular frame of reference No not even mine my love. I tis a categorical imperative, We all know this dearest, but especially Women, whose business is in shifting frames Without disturbing our sense of equity. But of these Nature's laws, you darkly question 1hls, the constant velocity of light; Claim it a consequence of the equations, A moving electromagnetic wave. So how can this possibly be, you ask, An absolute velocity? Distance Traversing time, a speed is merely relative. Yes it is quite contrary my love. But long have I known this trick of the Light, It does not come, my dear, from equations. Orals continued from page 4 our geometric picture of this uprightness suggested a self-containment that would deny it the receptivity of a genuine comportment, our cognitive interpretation of that geometric picture now suggests a selfdiremption that denies it the substantiality of a genuine comportment. Our account of this comportment-along with its threshold-is evidently not yet complete. And making it complete, as we shall sec, will involve recognizing another side to our standing in relation to everything else. In being When I rode you naked on the sunbeam Could you see me seeing in that vision? Love is light and light's delight is seeing. The gay chanteuse sings you can't hurry love And light that plays and shimmers on my hair And shoulders knows the rule of lover's motion, The glance that is for thee and thee alone, No matter your velocity of closing. I am the lighthouse for a thousand ships. So why not finish up that cup and write Some new equations just this afternoon; Assume only that both things can be true As I once dreamt and Paris later knew And then come back this evening for a supper. I shall reward the hero in these arms For clinging fast to two truths on his quest. Ah your qualms will there be served nepenthe, And then my body for your hands and lips Quivering soft upon a trembling breast I am the lighthouse for a thousand guests In the constant thick magnetic dark Where all things equalise in absolute Asymmetry, and all things come to rest. mindfully upright, we may always be out there even while in here, and never wholly able to gather ourselves together or cover our ambivalent tracks. But we abandoned any strategy of hiding ourselves back in the Garden of Eden, and have ever since been content to remain upright and out thereyet clothed. Clothing, I shall suggest, is a way of giving our abidingly upright selves an exterior. And what we might have considered a matter involving the body, is better considered a matter involving the mind .... © Toothpastefordinner.com 6 . THE GADFLY . . . . . ' ' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christianity continued from page 3 ness" of Christianity, relies on ideas that are the end result of a line of thought, and not the beginning from which one can critique a religion. By healthiness and humanity I take him to mean that which is good and right for mankind. To know that, we must first know what man is. I do not know what Mr. Colten would say he is, but a Christian would say something along these lines: hian is a creature, created in the image of God, which has fallen from Him through disobedience, and requires that same God's inter cession on his part, to lift him back to his intended sphere. If this is the case, then Christianity is surely the healthiest and most human of all the worldviews. If this is not man's nature, then Christianity has no such illustrious claim. But there are no great objective scales of"healthiness" and "humanity" to which we can hold up ideas and beliefs to determine their validity. We must begin at the beginning, and that is a task I leave to abler minds then my own. �No Such Thing As a Free Supper by Jerry Salyer Staff Writer M r. Colten feels Christ's teachings are "inhuman-even anti-human." As common ground I note this feeling implies that human existence has objective worth, that real truth touches man-convictions rejected by many within Mr. Colten's own party. Mr. Colten contends failure to meet Christ's commands leaves us trapped either in paralyzed guilt, or a state of indifferent hypocrisy. Binary alternatives, but we are not binary beings. True g uilt is dynamic, not static; not heavy brick but motive force toward a healed self. And the fact that some turn that motive force to ward brethren-harming rather than selfregeneration is no more reason to hide from guilt than heroin-addiction is reason to ban hypodermic needles. If we truly under stood the butterfly-effect spreading from s ubtlest sneers, from littlest lusts-we would realize what illn esses can grow from minute germs. Yes, it would depress the h ell out of us- literally. We would sin no more. But we don't understand, more's the pity. Not yet. For following Chri st is not about proving how unerringly one can hopscotch-tread in footprint s-and then, upon inevitable failure , giving up in de solatio n. It is about, over the course of a lifetime, learning how to walk. None among u s is a flawless child-of-God; but none among us is a flawless father, either. We still tryand it is not enough merely to do physical good for our n eighbor, to dutifully give him our coat and then wash our hearts of him, anymore than it is enough to buy our own children expensive presents. We strive to love; and love is as much about internal truth as it is about external works. Abo lish guilt as obsolete Christian hang-up and we also abolish the phrase, "I'm sorry." This abolition should wait till that day when we all truly, absolutely love our God and neighbor, for being in love only mean s n ever- having-to-sayyou're-sorry wh en that love is perfect. Perhap s Christians are deluded optimists for claiming the sun will rise on such a spotless morning, in eternity-but who would claim that day is already here? Many attribute to religious zealotry that cycloptic tendency to dash the supplicant- stranger's skull again st the wall and devour him. My view is that fa llen-man has forgotten his place under heaven, has forgotten that the stranger is his fellowcreature, hi s brother- a biased view on my part, of course, but concede that cruelty i s not exclusive to Christian societies. Nor, even, theistic ones. Co n sider Christianity experientially, rather than propositionally-extrapolating: of course Christians among the Johnnie community h ave their flaws, yet none whom I've met seem more prone to sadomasochi sm than the n orm; that is, I submit DATE DUE ©Catholic Supply Company there are no greater proportion of sadomasochistic tendencies than among the non-Christian population. Maybe even a little less. Perhaps I am wrong; but then, is there really anyone whose freea ss ociation r esponse to the name "Ossorgin " is: "a ticking time-bomb of demented- fury"? As for my own spiritual h ealth, I admi t it was no surprise to be passed over fo r the papacy, but then I could be-have b een- far worse. It is not awareness of their own sins, but ignorance of them, that drives pa triotic red-blooded Americans to feel hatred for, say, the French. It is not awareness of their own sin s, but ignorance of them, that leads liberals to feel hatred for President Bush. Per Leftist-m etaphys- ics, Bush is irredeemable; in love, truth, he participates not at all. Per me, Bush's administration do es dire things, and terrible follies escape his lips-yet I wince at the possibility that some forget he's human, deem him boogeyman who could not possibly love a wife, daughters, a p arent, a God-" not as we love." Christianity tells me he is fellow-sinner, and my brother-so sadomasochist r e ligious zealot though I am, I could have almost as well entitled this article: "Reasons Wh y I Don't Hate President Bush." (For one thing, he actually has a surprisingly good sen se of humor.) Democrats should reflect that one of their own favorites developed the U ltima te Weapon, and a regime of their own, not neocons, u sed it against civilians-against the ad vice of military leaders. Democrats should reflect on New Deal project s w h ere socialist expediency trumped justice, where famili es who had farmed for three hundred years were unceremoniously evicted to mak e room for campgrounds, parks- families upon whose former homes we hike .. . we may n ow "return to the land" for a weekend-at the expense of those wh o never wished to forsake it. Pe rhaps we eschew senecan-guilt, healthily preferring to forget ancien t past-so reflect on today: Washington contains no Republicans, nor Democrats, only New World Order juveni l es playing A xis & A llies in Bosnia, then moving on to play Risk in th e Gulf- without bothering to put up their toys when done. Truth is 1" casualty- a barrier of propaganda s urrounds the Balkans, on all sides, erected by Americans, by Serbs, Croats, A lbanians. I can he ar, even now, a party-mat e of Mr. Colten's, a grad stud e nt I knew-who might condemn R epublicans for not applying skepticism toward I raq- explain with self-assurance (for this was his team's war): "Well, no, in Bosnia, man, now, there-Clinton did the right thing, we had to go in. There was genocide, and stuff. " And I wonder: "Who's 'we'?" And I think of every time I touch that tangled web, truth-hunting: How big a difference Supper continued on back page . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE GADFLY . 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Supper continued from page 7 does it make, really, that K.L.A.-guerillas we loaned our Air Force to made their big debut by bombing a refugee camp, went from "terrorist group" to "freedom fighters" in the State Department's YellowPages, overnight? And I think of the pop culture Serb = Nazi equivalence, of ironically Goering-style caricaturization of an ethnic group as nationalist-neofascist villains, and I think of what happened to Serbs in WW II. And I think, Can Antiwar.com's allegations against Clinton be trusted? Can anti-NATO allegations of 3 former UN Peacekeeping Generals-Canadian, British, India11-be trusted? Can allegations of a Canadian ambassador- about yellow-journalism a11d exploitation of Holocaust-memories- be trusted? I doubt the of ficial-history, but I cannot saJ' for sure JVhat is the real truth. Why trust anJ'One? And then I reflect that this pup sitting across from me, so confidently talking about "humanitarian~intervention"- that is, sending fighter pilots he never went to school with, has never met, aren't part of his intellectual-club, off to drop bombs from 15,000 feet- he has no doubts. Heis sure the Albright party-line is right. And he has never had to wear a gun, either, much less a gas mask, and would probably answer "Ireland" if asked the location of Belgrade-and I feel like I have been robbed of a diamond, and left with a spine-breaking backpack full of depleteduranium instead. But then I recall all the god awful things I myself have done, said, do, say-and recall that I am not the \Vorld's Judge, neither Balkans nor Earth rests on my shoulders. 1\..terciful Christ, what a relief. And now once again sitting across from me is no brainwashed Other, but an easygoing guy who is quick with a joke, or to light up your smoke-who has seen some things, who knows many things about life that I do not. No, I do not hurl the hypocrisy-card at Democrats, to the contrary, I suggest: Let he who is himself without hypocrisy play that card first. If we demand immaculateness of a man before his words mean aught, then we shall be 8 . THE GADFLY reigned over by that silent darkness Paul Simon warned of, America lit not by starspangled sky above but by ncon~gods jealouser than Jehovah-and infinitely less forgiving. The party of tolerance, open-mindedness, and peace very often fails to embody any of these-so maybe go a little easier in reaching for Petersonian irony, of any level. (Except for Yd-but of course if you can make it to 3'd, my admonitions won't affect you either way.) JVfr. Colten espouses moderation, and I admire that principle, admire those who walk through existence with humble dignity, without melodrama, serenely accepting life's joys and stoically-quietly bearing its sorrows. Indeed, a bolder man than me might say: "Blessed are the meek." Yet moderation must be taken moderately; many essential human activities-from conceiving children, to bearing-birthing them, to running into a burning building to rescue them, to mad-genius Russian writers portraying reality through themdo not at all strike me as "moderate." Creativity is immoderate. True, some passionate men make life unbearable for victims; yet other passionate men- by channeling, mastering passion- beget works of art and civilization that render life worth living. Had Dostoevsky not wrestled hard with questions of despair and salvation, had he "conformed to the common human pattern" then Brothers Karamazov would be a rather predictable, 2-dimensional crime-mystery, a HannaBarberan Perezon-Doo. ("Smerdyakov!! It was you?!" "Da. And I'd have gotten away with it, too- if it hadn't been for those meddling kids, and their stupid dog.") l\k Co !ten sees the Christian path as unattainable, barring miracle-yet he is confusing the path, the way of life, with that final end lying beyond our horizon. Still, he's right: A miracle is needed-and if he himself claims never to have seen one, then I must doubly-compliment him on his grooming: He is wonderfully kempt for a man who never looks in a mirror. Among many other fine things, a wise Frenchman named Montaigne once wrote: "I have never seen a greater men- ster or miracle than myself." Mr. Cohen may find me morbid for facing up to the former epithet, yet I should think him modest to a fault for denying the latter. If rational animal = man, perhaps monstrous miracle = thief. I myself rather like thieves, outlaws- Robin Hood, Bilbo Baggins, Josey Wales, etc. All lawbreakers, yes- some of them, horrifically wicked. But others, charmingly shifty, daring, hopeful, trying to swipe a bread-loaf and wine-jug to live on ... to slip past the proud, grim dragon of Lonely-Mountain, stay one step ahead of the dread sheriff and his fiendish-howling posse. And their patron saint knew that every lawbreaker must still respect Law, for without Law we dissolve, and for all the harm his hands might bring about, a thief's eyes may remain clear enough to see simple, bewildering truth: "But this man has done no wrong.'' Because the finest, trustiest tool in the dodgy burglar's kit is the heart-felt phrase, "I'm sorry." No gate's lock withstands that pick, not even adamantine-pearl locks wrought by God;; -mighty. The flip side of guilt: the dream, or vision, of innocence. And knowledge that all things-whether grati~ fications stolen from our neighbors' dignity, or gifts of friendship we exchange with them- have a cost. All created things bear price. Somebody always pays. So as to inhumanity in Christ's teachings ... well, while few might agree with my belief that Christianity is a true story, perhaps we can at least all agree that it is a story of some sort, rather than solely a moral-system- we only ever get at the morals by breaking the story's body. Personally, I prefer to accompany my storybooks with pictures; and as illustrator, Da Vinci beats even Howard Pyle. And the passionate Italian offers us the sight of 12 men- 12 thieves- gathered around a table, sharing a meal with their friend. To my mind, an exceptionally human 1mage. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Utter, Christopher B. (Editor in Chief) Goldstein, Shoshana (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXVI, Issue 24 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2005-04-27 Description An account of the resource Volume XXVI, Issue 24 of The Gadfly. Published April 27, 2005. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 26.24 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication