39 20 5655 https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/87e33ee71e16943febd85fc1f8a36ac5.pdf b032e385b99f6bb3708568d7aa7d2191 PDF Text Text THE GADFLY Annapolis, Maryland The St. John's College Student Weekfy Volume XXIX, Issue 18 MCfY 2, 2008 Should There Be a Draft? by Shant Shahrigian '08 Georgia's tradition of liberal education to strengthen its young democracy. Our Johnnies will share the experience of our classical liberal arts program and demonstrate our style of learning to aid this new college's development. The student group that started this effort to help calls themselves OLEG: the Organization for Liberal Education in Georgia. This summer six students and two tutors fly to Georgia to have seminars with students and tutors there to show them how we do it: Nini Aduashvili ('11) and Noel Brockett ('09) (cofounders of OLEG), Mr. Lacey, Ms. Printz, Sam Fanthorpe ('11), Sam Gespass ('09), Acacia Pappas ('11), and Vincent Tavani ('11). A FEW \¥EEKS BACK, about three, and at the football stadium as many blocks away from our campus, presumptive Republican presidential nominee J oho McCain gave an eloquent, self-deprecating and rather stirring speech exhorting citizens to perform public service. While explicit reference to the military variety was confined to a single sentence- "! hope more Americans would consider enlisting in our Armed Forces"- the setting and its connection to McCain, a former midshipman, suggested the importance he has attributed to expanding the beleaguered military on other occasions. His calls to increase the armed forces by tens of thousands of members complement a recent, long-term order by the current president for the very same; but with recruitment in the Army and its cousins perpetually beneath even their current goals, it seems well to ask: Should there be a draft? The question is posed in regard to both civic responsibility in general and to the predicaments in Iraq and Afghanistan in particular; and with an eye to the additional question of how militant or pacifistic US. foreign policy should be in the years to come. All of which is to say, beyond the scope of a college newspaper article. But toward resolving such issues, I propose that a military draft has the advantage of boosting the likelihood of success, however nebulous a concept that may still be, in our current conflicts. On the other hand, a draft has the disadvantage of pushing the United State and the rest of the world further toward the retrogressive, contentious, and unhumanitarian state of foreign affairs initiated by the Bush administration. If these two factors could be reconciled, I think we might be able to advance beyond our current defeatist OLEG continued on Page 6 Draft continued on Page 4 Organization for Liberal Education in Georgia Bringing Liberal Education to Georgia by Vincent Tavani '11 INTRODUCING HERSELF IN HER EXOTIC AC- as a freshman at the beginning of the year, Nini Aduashvili always got funny looks when she said she was from Georgia. No, not the state, she told people, but the country, one a lot older than most civilizations. Bordering Russia, Turkey, Armenia, Azerbaijan, and the Black Sea, the once-Soviet country is now a democracy but is still facing many obstacles from the cultural and ideological remnants of co=unism. Now, what can a group of Johnnies do to help? Why, help the founding of a sister school! Named after a 12th c. Georgian school of the liberal arts, New Gelati Academy is not technically affiliated with us yet. However, its curriculum is modeled after our own Great Books program in hopes of reviving CENT �LETTERS THE .-GADFLY Editor-in-Chief Elizabeth Burlington Assistant Editors Chris Thrun Babak Zarin Managing Editor Kat Shears Literary Editor Ma:ck F. McClay Proofreader Rowenna Thorson Distribution Manager Elyssa Browning Contributing to this Issue Elizabeth Burlington Kirstie Dodd Robert Sale Ali Schwab Shant Shahrigian Vincent Tavani Jennifer Wright Founded in 1980, The Gadf!y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Boa:cd of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within a:ce the the sole responSlbility of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent the opinions of The Gadf!y staff. The Ga4f!y :reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for gramma:c, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Ga4f!y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Yearly subscriptions a:ce available for $30.00. Tax-deductible contributions a:ce greatly appreciated. Please make checks payable to The Ga4f!y. The deadline for submissions is Saturday before midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions can be accepted as long as they a:ce legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions a:ce greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to gadfly@sjca.edu. 2 A Letter From the Editor As you may or may not have no- noon so you will have plenty of time ticed, the end of the year is fast upon to sober up before you put pen to paus. This means a lot of things, but per or fingers to keyboard. This next most importantly it means the last issue of the Gacif!y will also be my last, issue of the Gacif!y is fast approach- and do you really want my last issue to ing. Next week's issue will be the be pitiful? So send it in, kids, last, and for those of you graduat- gadfly@sjca.edu or ing, transferring, or giving up on this emburlington@sjca.edu. It would be school this is your VERY LAST op- a crying shame for your collective geportunity to submit anything to us. nius to go unnoticed in such a prestiSo send me your musings, your opin- gious public forum. So write something ions, your comics, and your well- and send it to me. You will be glad you meaning attempts to better society did. through your writing. And just beE. McDowell Burlington cause I am a nice person, I will Editor-in-Chief move the deadline to Monday at ~( )r ;~: dk,. ., .{>, •. >i. lu,' . ,J{~'~ ,,)ti;;;;,l'f•x :ii ·:J:'ij}11~Y> ·:~ !~;~;::;; . fr. ::~ .. t:t '}i. nf:i ·~;~ Ca!J.-111 is's<:lieduledforthew'eek·'.1fl~4rpr lost book fee5: youmaydIBcko~/renewup • .T:! y: . . .· .A$ril~~lh_..~51h. Moriday,May5~i~~·~''.· to threebooks. tlle'~t·~ay.o~Call-In.. This, mearis thilt ·\ ••. . For students who are grad~tlQg. trans.; 1 all. bo?kS iri.~::~tller Library materials ·.· m~tbeb~~'byclosingiim:e (7:30pm) onM~iitiaY,May.5~;~yonewithli...,. . ' •.... . .. ·. .. ·ferring. or witlldrawing from the College, . these items will be due at9:30 AM Fri- . dayMay~.\'' §{·~~t .. . ..•.. ·. .(.• ' on :':. . . ~· ·. . ?••f .. . brarymaterialsstilloutaftertbis 4feadFora retu.mingstudent (retumirig in Fall J .lin~ will be c~gea ·~fee of $10;0(lper . 2008), re!lewedit~~~notbe.d~e "Wltilthe . item. You may 'retum your items .at:l11Y. ... end oftll~ Fill 2008 C~-In, :;•• jf\i·~ .•;; · ,• ;tirrebajnniJYJAJlil28\anllitisid~ed::" ,, Non-retuming students, tiansf;iii~ stu-: .·to begin ~kberitJ.-0rder.t9 irv~hll~g ~es. . •.· Refii,;,l must be ;n.~a~ directly to tlle cit:t:cliJioJidesk Do 1l~~attem±>t to retum yo~;bpok~tl11;m1gh c~usmail. ·Do not get shiii:e911e'els~ to re~yo~ books for you' tJ;.~ resp511sibilitf will her yours 1f yo'~ fiikd'.doek't follow through] ··Ren·.· ·~~fCh~clrout1P"\\>i ,,.. · •· · · · ·~' .:,.~v;, , ·· .,, a1l'b~y~rititemskv~:b~re2-;: · d~t~, and graduaring students cM! .chhl out , thre.e ]J~oks during Call-In we~'faft& mm.: . ple1lng~~ Gall-In, but tllese itefo~ must he , retum~ F1.i~yMay 91h by 9:30 A.M. Ifyoµ,; fail !cti#nyouritems, youi.rlipl~ iii:ayhi ; to ~tbheldi~' "';'; '· . ' /'. ' ~~::i~: ~t ·~~~I~ ~, . . ·.. .Once ;y If y{)uha~~ 'question~please drop b~ . th.elibrn1V.· an ':"C eak. withm.~.···.: ... 'a~. · ·· +·:·:t~:t~.__.~ - . . . .'.·;· ~--:;; ·· ·· ".·~:~;.~,,· . Sincerely,··151,:.:. ·0r. :;.· ·:·; ·. j;~:, THE GADFLY···················································· v �DC Minutes: April 23 ·Meeting called to order at 11 :50 Discussion of SCI officer elections; Clint Richardson and Pavlos Papadopoulos running for co-Chairs, Megan Field running for Secretary. -Delegates pose questions to Ms. Field. -Mr. Papadopoulos and Mr. Richardson not present, discussion held until they arrive. Discussion of emergency budgeting, Delegate Council's current balance near $1,800.00, but figure uncertain due to outstanding checks. -Sailing Team, Archon Pavlos Papadopoulos present. Balance forward $16.79, requesting $547.16 for new equipment and intramural regatta party. Mr. Lewkow moves to allocate $547.16 to the Sailing Team, contingent upon availability of funds. Mr. Donahoe seconds, motion passes. - St John's Chorus, Archon Daniel Wheatley present. Balance forward $0.00, requesting $200.00 for postconcert party. Ms. Andrews moves to allocate $200.00 to the St. John's Chorus, contingent upon availability of funds. Ms. Frazier seconds, motion passes. -Students for a Sustainable Future, Archon David Bronstein present. Balance forward $0.00, requesting $888.54 for composting equipment and end-of-year party. Ms. Hauspurg mov es to allocate $888.54 to SF2 , contingent upon availability of funds. Mr. Lewkow seconds, motion passes. Return to Discussion of SCI elections, both candidates for co-Chair now present. -Delegates pose questions to Mr. Papadopoulos. -Delegates and Mr. Richardson. -Round-table vote on candidates; Mr. Richardson and Mr. Papadopoulos elected co-Chairs, Ms. Field elected Secretary. Discussion of charter revision for SCI. - Ms. Andrews moves to approve the SCI's revised charter, Ms. Deaton seconds. ·Meeting adjourned at 12:30 p.m. ·r milk,You'll Have . ome Free Time Next Year? . S iiJ/ikingf(O 'dq. ~JfuetJiiflgprqductive with yo~ afternoons? .z ''.•' . '·/:.<;> .? ,.,,,,...··.;·-·. ' ' A bruicn.bfus seniors have ~speht the past three years' helping .fu'.inapolis students with their homework at .a community .c;enter a bloek away fr?1Il campus. If you have any free time during the week in the afternoons, you .. ' · .shcmld stop by or call the center: The Stanton Center . · Trad~r .(Recre~ti~n & Parks Dii:ector) 410-263-7966 . rPr11"Pr is beyond nice. Thisis .a great chance to give som~thing back.to .th .· · Arinapolis community. . Gogden via campus email i£ you have any questions about the center, how to get there, .o r how the homew~rk dub wol:ks. . 3 THE GADFLY .. : ... .. �Draft continued from Front Page attitude toward military matters and make progress in other areas of international politics. To reiterate why conscription- so odious to the American mind ever since the Vietnam War era- is not an impossibility today: The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has openly said that the 30,000 members of the armed forces in Afghanistan have been too few to adequately perform their duties there; and the roughly 160,000 enlistees in Iraq are so overtaxed that the Anny has been allowing ex-cons to join and fight (a fact recently noted in The New Yorke!). Further, a January 2007 order by President Bush to expand the size of the Anny by almost 7 5,000 soldiers remains on the table even while last summer's "surge" of ground forces in Iraq abates at Congress' behest. An increase in forces would greatly strengthen the U.S. position in the conflicts overseas. The summer surge in Iraq brought about concrete success in the military, if not political, sphere (Iraq's insurgency weakened, its internal intrigues still broiling); and this suggests that the maintenance of a strong U.S. military presence in the foreign land can ensure the minimum level of safety needed for a clear idea of ultimate success to come into focus . The occupation has been rightly criticized (even if often in the service of demagoguery) for lacking an ultimate goal, but I think that the invasion and its murderous aftermath obligate us to see Iraq to a lasting peace. General George Petraeus, the top U.S. commander in Iraq as well as the war's most glamorous spokesman, has characterized the recent progress there as "fragile and reversible." The kind of scheduled troop withdrawal petulantly called for by former supporters of the war in Congress threatens to shatter the balance; but additional deployments could force the last military opposition in Iraq into permanent abeyance and mend long-neglected problems with the Iraqi infrastructure. The prospect of forcing ordinary citizens to participate in the effort as opposed to simply demanding longer and more frequent tours of duty from voluntary forces tests our commitment to the war. As suggested by the rather limited increase in military enlistment after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, outside of its immediate impact that tragedy did not represent a direct threat to America. Absent the most compelling reason for conscription- immediate danger to kith and kin- why should young, out-of-school Americans be compelled to risk their lives in a desert almost a dozen time zones away? I feel that the astonishing death toll of at least 82,000 that we have inflicted on the innocent people there (see www.iraqbodycount.net) obligates us to restore safety to those who w.ill survive. Our selfinterest demands it as well. Continuing decades of a capricious foreign policy that abandons foreign wars at the first signs of failure would undermine America's standing as a bastion of liberal democracy, lowering standards of conduct in war and peace the world over. McCain and others like him may be propagandizing when they cast military service in a noble light, but I still think that such sacrifice would improve the situation in Iraq (Afghanistan will have to wait for another article) and possibly preserve America's status as a leader of democratic values. On the other hand, a draft also poses the risk of creating excessive militancy in generalnot just affirming America's commitment to its overseas enterprises, but also lending a warlike tint to all foreign affairs. Once grown, the armed forces could eventually metastasize and enter regions where they do not belong. The Department of Defense says it already has almost 1.5 million enlistees (a figure that excludes the countless contractors the Bush administration is seemingly beholden to) and expanding this little nation of warriors could, among other things, give it more of a role in policy decisions. A draft could also have the same kind of effect on international relations that President Bush's sinister pursuit of a missile defense shield has had: Allies would become more disturbed and neutral countries more distrustful, and an adversarial aspect would further infiltrate all international relations. The military growth envisioned by Bush and McCain seems capable of sending the entire world back to a Cold War mentality. Is there a way to reconcile the strategic advantages of a draft- a painful prospect in any situation- with the setbacks conscription poses to the overall state of foreign affairs? Hard as it is to generalize about either side of this equation, an increase in armed forces would present a very tangible reality with far-reaching consequences. Perhaps a renewed military effort in Iraq and elsewhere could be tempered by using more progressive methods of dealing with foreign threats. Maintain a high level of troops, but don't order them to torture prisoners. Persecute militant Islamist factions, but earnestly seek to reintegrate mainstream Islam into the international community. I hope that peace will become a major priority for the United States once again. But in the mean time, I w.ill keep an eye out for notices from my hometown draft board. 4!lr Our Man in Iraq: An Interview With Jordan Gusky by Shant Shahrigian '08 WnH JORDAN GusKY'.l' DEPARTUREfor military service and Iraq more than two years ago, the St. John} campus lost one of its most distinctive figures. Instead of the quad, his gauntframe with trademark cigarette tilting out of the corner of his mouth went on to cast its shadow on the sands of Wasit province just over 100 miles southeast ofBaghdad. Specia/ist Gusky served there from August 2006 to November 200 7, and is scheduledfor a second tour in Iraq starting in earfy 2009. On April 23, the former member of the class of 2008 updated The Gadfly on his latest thoughts and activities ry phonefrom Fort Hood, Texas. 4 : The Gadfly: Why did you decide to enlist in the Army? Mr. Gusky: ''I reallywasn'tfeelingthewhole academia thing at all. I don't think I ever will again. I didn't want to be working odd jobs and that kind of thing. There's a very proud tradition of military service in my family, and it seemed like something kind of cool to do for a few years." The Gadfly: Did a sense of patriotism or duty motivate you? Mr. Gusky: "Not so much. I would say [I did not have] any silly illusion of patriotism or duty. I would say more I was looking for adventure, a life experience. Plus I wanted to see what was going on in Iraq myself. [... ] I was interested in politics slightly, interested in all things military since I was a boy. I wanted to see what the real scoop is." The Gadfly: Did you find the real scoop? Mr. Gusky: ''Kind of. Not anything that happens at the really high level. The day-today, what happen there----definitely." THE GADFLY ..... · ·· ·· ·· · · · ····· · ···· · ··················· ...... . Gusky continued on Page 5 �Gusky continued from page 4 The Gadfly. What are the first things that come to mind when you recall your time in Iraq? Mr. Gusky: ''It was surprisingly boring. It wasn't really like a war at all. Definitely not like the movies." The Gadfly: What was your day-to-day situation like? Mr. Gusky: "I lived in a kind of bungalow. It was a pretty high standard of living compared to most military staff in Iraq. I lived on a Polish-run base on an American Special Forces compound in that space, which was a block of ten small, two- or three-bedroom houses. It was originally Iraqi Air Force housing." The Gadfly: What kind of interaction did you have with people there? Mr. Gusky: "Our compound had a . Kurdish guard. We had about twenty of those guys who worked at night. I hung out with them a lot. I'd go over to their compound and eat a big meal with them, drink a lot of tea, smoke a lot of hookah. . .. Use the thirty or so words of English and Arabic between us. But those weren't really local guys." The Gadfly: Whatkind of work did you do? Mr. Gusky: ''We'd go out into the town. [...] We'd go out and basically talk to [Iraqi locals] . They were, at least to our faces, pretty nice to us and pretty receptive. [.. .] It's like stateside detective work, basically. You have a network of snitches you can talk to, and you go out to town and basically develop more snitches. [...] I was providing security for the intelligence guys." The Gadfly: How dangerous was the area you were in, and how dangerous was your work? Mr. Gusky: ''I saw a few weeks ago in the BBC there was a pretty big engagement in AlKut [the main city in Wasit province]; there were at least tens of enemies killed. It's a predominantly Shia area. The big influences there are the Madhi Army and the Badr Corps, with a lot of Iranian influence there, too. [. . .]We wouldn't go into the really nasty areas of town. There were a few parts of town where people would definitely shoot at you. [.. .]There's a lot of extrajudicial shootings, killings and that kind of thing. We were engaged a couple of times. One IED [lmprovised explosive de- vice] attack, followed by small arms; and one with just small arms." The Gadfly: Could you describe one of those incidents? Mr. Gusky: ''We'll call this one, quote-unquote, The Battle of Al-Hayy.' Weweregoing down to this medium-sized city, you could call it. [...] On the way to the city, people seemed pretty normal and waved to us. Just before the entrance to the city, an IED was detonated. It was on the right side of the road, about fifteen feet behind the front truck and about 60, 70 feet in front of my truck. I'm the main gunner on this Humvee [.. .] I'm just riding along and this fairly large explosion goes off in my face, so I immediately of course start looking for someone to shoot. [...]In my immediate area there were no threats. [Ibe rear gunner on Gusky's Humvee] starts taking fire on the right side, and several individuals come out of a house. He just shot 'em all up. "We went past the city, assessed [and] turned around and hauled ass on the road. When we passed the location where we first took fire we took a few pot-shots and returned fire; it was basically a drive-by. "The whole battle lasted about thirty seconds. The only main damage was a shattered rear-view window and some shook-up soldiers in the front truck, who were pretty close." The Gadfly: What was your reaction to the fight? Mr. Gusky: 'That was one of the few times in Iraq thatI actually feared for my life. [...] Have you ever narrowly avoided being in a car wreck? Take that and multiply it by maybe five or six. It was totally unexpected. [. ..] It's just another day on the job and you don't expect anything to happen. Then just, boom, right in your face. It's kind of terrifying. The first maybe 10 or 15 seconds a lot of the guys are terrified. A lot of times there's a second device, so we were thinking, 'Is there gonna be another one? is there gonna be another one?' ''I smoked about a pack of cigarettes on the road home, and then slept for six hours." The Gadfly: Have you thought about the experience very often since? Mr. Gusky: ''Now and again, not like PTSD [post-traumatic stress disorder] or anything. It was definitely extremely light as far as contact with the enemy can go. The Gadfly: How did the language situation go for you? Mr. Gusky: "Well enough. We could converse about the subjects that all soldiers talk about, namely, home, women and guns. They [the Kurdish troops stationed in Wasit province] were really friendly guys and very interested about America." The Gadfly: Did you learn anything from the Kurdish troops or from the Iraqis themselves? Mr. Gusky: 'They're just like regular people anywhere else. They have different languages and customs, but they're just like regular people. "People there when they get together are a lot less reserved than I'd say Americans are. They're the best hosts I've ever had. You couldn't leave the house without drinking a f***ing gallon of tea. These guys make maybe 500 bucks a month, but you'd always leave with some little gift." The Gadfly: Would you say St. John's helped shape your attitude while overseas at all? Mr. Gusky: "Maybe just the being a little more educated and a little more open. [...] Not everybody in the Army's really dumb, as you might think if you're an educated person." The Gadfly: If you are stationed in a more intense area when you return to Iraq, do you expect to change or become hardened? Mr. Gusky: ''Maybe a little hardened, maybe a little meaner all around, but not all the time. In my experience, small inconveniences and aggravations don't bother me as much."'!lr' . 5 T HE GADFLY .. : .. .. . �OLEG continued fro:m Front Page The principal goal of OLEG is to assist in the establishment of New Gelati Academy, the School of Liberal Arts and Sciences, at Grigol Robakidze University in Tbilisi, the capital of Georgia. New Gelati Academy is designed to be a classic liberal arts baccalaureate program whose aim, according to the curriculum, is "to equip students for a life as free, active, and prosperous citizens." The liberal arts were historically the cornerstone of education in Georgia, like in many other countries, but what the liberal arts are and what it means to participate and engage liberally in the arts and sciences has been lost. Now, as an ancient country in her democratic infancy, there has emerged not only the desire to inquire into the nature and goals of education but also a desire to live in a country that cultivates intellectually autonomous citizens so that the country might itself prosper. Although the desire to transform the educational system and return to its tradition of liberal arts education is prevalent in Georgia, the uncertainties about both the nature of the transformation and the now unfamiliar style of education has made the establishment of a liberal arts academy such as New Gelati difficult. And so, OLEG was formed to give what we can to this academy. Our participation in the seminars and tutorials will exhibit our way of inquiry and give the New Gelati a foot up in its climb towards becoming a functioning liberal arts college. Although the official language of Georgia is Georgian, the classes and books will be in English, so while it will still be helpful to say "More wine, please" in Georgian, their discussions will be without language barrier. In fact, that phrase too may be unnecessary. Georgians have a reputation for being very generous hosts and honor guests and friends with everything they have, and wine is something everyone has. Some of the typically proud Georgians will even tell you they were the first to make wine, but whether or not that is true, every family has a two hundred liter earthenware vat filled with wine for celebrations, the many toasts, and daily lives. OLEG folks will be staying with local families instead of in hotels during all parts of their three week trip. The first week will be spent at New Gelati in the capital Tbilisi discussing texts as demonstration of our classes and also examining together our manner of inquiry in each class with prospective students and tutors. The second week OLEG members will familiarize themselves with the liberal arts traditions Georgia practiced in the past. They will take a series of day trips to ancient sites such as Gelati academy, cave cities, different churches and monasteries etc.. The third week they will study the folk history of Georgia, getting to know their culture, customs, and people through cooking, dancing and singing lessons. OLEG is aiming to understand what a classical liberal arts college in Georgia must accomplish, how it will do this, and how St. John's can help. The curriculum of New Gelati is very much like ours, with a few tweaks to give it more impact as a school that can reform the country. Instead of French, the students study English and Georgian in depth to be well-equipped to use and examine language in their world. The largest changes are a result of the intense focus on economy as the school tries to prepare its students to function freely and successfully in a free market economy in a country that once had no private property. There are classes on accounting, computer science, global business eth- ics, and management, and for two months juniors and seniors leam through starting their own business. They are doomed to a more practical education; we have the luxury of a more detached contemplation. But OLEG does not want to bring liberal arts to Georgia simply so that it can develop; Georgia also can offer a lot to the world. ''I see Georgia and the whole region of Caucasus as the treasure that world has not yet discovered." says Nini Aduashvili "If Georgia and Caucasus 'worked', then they could offer important cultural and intellectual wealth to the world." Standing with this idea OLEG sees this trip as the first step to fulfill its larger commitment to revive liberal education in Georgia and to bring Georgia's culture and traditions to liberal arts in the United states and the world as a whole. OLEG is trying to raise awareness, support, and funds for the cause. Right now, their priority is to pay for the trip, which has already been planned and organized by people on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean. Georgia is a little isolated, and flying is expensive. People can help by donating money, sharing the project with anyone and every one and simply get involved with the group to participate in future projects. If you have any ideas, support, inspiration, or know of anyone who could help or want to help yourself, visit www.liberaleducationgeorgia.org, or strike up a healthy conversation with any of the members. The site has the curriculum, this summer's trip itinerary, and other information on the project. The group leaves mid-June for the trip and will update the polity next year on the adventures. Expect to hear plenty more from them and hope they bring one of those vats home. I wonder what Reality will be like there.~ E:.mail subajs'~ions t~ gadflf@sjca.edu by ... 6 TfIE . . .. onda.y.•·.. . atnoo n.:.'.·~.·.·.~ .·•:. • ···:,.::t.; .... .'. : .:t~l{ik ' ;.······.. · ' :..'.·.···· · .....•.. M . ({: GADFLY ................................................... . .· �Reality Weekend Schedule of Events REMEMBER: YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE A WRISTBAND ON REALITY WEEKEND UNLESS YOU HAVE PAID YOUR DUES. DUES ARE $10 FOR SENIORS AND GUESTS, $20 FOR EVERYONE ELSE. FRIDAY: 4:00pm (back campus): marathon 7:00pm (seal): kegs tapped 8:15pm (FSK): skit begins 10:00pm - 3:00am (great hall): dance party. SATURDAY: 9:00am (seal): breakfast. 11:00 am: kegs tapped. 12:30pm (back campus): lunch. 2:00pm (back campus): Saturday Siesta (napping encouraged, soothing live music). 4:00pm (back campus): pudding wrestling. that's right, we went there. 6:00pm (back campus): dinner. 7:30pm (back campus): sophistry contest and other games. 8:00pm (Mitchell Gallery Wall/ FSK if rain): Film Society shows Super Secret Mystery Movie. 10:00pm - 2:00am (back campus): bonfire. (great hall): live music, featuring Bedunkafunk, the sweetest funk band ever to play SJC. SUNDAY: 9:00am (quad): breakfast. 11:00am (seal): kegs tapped. 12:00pm (back campus): lunch. 2:00pm (lower field): Spartan Madball. 5:00pm: reality ends. ~~ ¥ilivt~~: AJ?lift~Q~h.' ..·.· . . . < . . ~~:, '. ~~ting;~~"'&~ t},~~n!J . <it. · .• .nistiis~iPri o,f f)LEG,~hJt~ (()rganiZation for. Lih~al Education in.·G~rgia); . Brockett present. ·~~owm~yes t~ exj:~d disrnssion ~f charter, Mr.. Shahrigian seconds, Motio.n faiI§: .· ~elly 1;noves ·~ a~pro;e chru:ter, with re'1sio~s t<J certain dau~es concerning finansf!{ . )lf'~ort~~~;;~oria: ~:.o~gW~ .~: by Mi Bttnei . ·• P.is~~1c()I1.of the issue.of p~sm ~pus. Ms. Hau.spurg suggests holding a. forum:.to~cuss the. ~~Ue. -1)11~,gatf!~ aft!. unclear ~-to the. Administration's st:ill,c~'~onc~°?ipg the pllbliciJ:yo~ tWs -~~lie. on tMtfu~~?~~Ddegaa~51r~~l,~:~;~,~if . -:~':=o, ,:.:.;.: Ms : YP<·'<, ;,~·, . 7 THE GADFLY .. : ..... �Athletes of the Week Senior Hell-Bitches Guardian Team Handball Squad 8 : ..... : . . THE GADFLY ................................................... . �Dodd on the Quad: Energy Crisis by Kirstie Dodd '10 tal consciousness. When people launch into their crazed tirades about oil, all I can do is smile and nod and tell them I will vote for a democrat But oil is not the only black liquid causing an energy crisis. This black liquid affects a human more directly than oil does, on a social and physical level. I'm talking about the second-most sought after product in the world behind oil, the liquid wonder drug that boots us up in the morning with a jolt of caffeine comfort, that ambrosia of alertness named ''.Joe" who oozes his way down the throats of sleepy, lethargic college students everywhere: coffee. I did not realize the energy crisis of dependency coffee causes until essay writing period. I was awake at all hours tickety-tappeting away on my keyboard, fueled only by old bagels, ideas, and the precious 16-oz City Dock coffee always at my right hand. Staying awake for over 24 hours is not enjoyable. Through the latter half of the writing week, I spent my time in a semi-somnambulistic state, wandering around the quad with a case of the jitters and a constant dull pulsing in my temples. It had to be all of those macchiatos, I'm sure of it. WHY ARE WE SO OBSESSED WTIH BLACK LIQUIDS? The favorite of newspapers has been this stuff called oil and how our supply of it is going to run out approximately tomorrow. I can't go anywhere without someone yelling some idiotic, hell-in-a-handbasket prediction about the Oil Crisis and how my lifestyle is a direct cause of oil wells drying up. According to these nutjobs, I should be driving a stupid, shrimpy Smart Car and building an ark before the ocean rises above my house and everything melts off of the face of the earth and Al Gore's facial hair gets any more out of control As a college student, naturally I resent this berating. I don't care too much about all of the things I could be doing for Mother Earth. My carbon footprint is small; I do not drive a car, I eat food in a dining hall devoted to cost-efficient serving methods (believe you me, the day Parkhurst specialty-imports anything is the day my stomach starts singing Handel's Hallelujah chorus in seminar), I hate doing laundry, and I take a shower only when my stench gets so bad that not even Puddin' wants to come near me. In that sense, I am doing my part to mitigate the Energy Crisis, even though it sounds more like convenience and apathy than environmen- I am just a victim of the addiction system that runs American culture. As usual, we have taken something social and enjoyable in moderation like coffee and have turned it into an expensive and obsessive ritual Ifwe can make something bigger and better and with more calories, we will. Hence the ascendancy of Starbucks and the decline of "just a cup of coffee." Now it's all about ordering something with a pseudo-Italian name and getting it made with soy, because even though it tastes bad, you'll look, like, so chic to your barista. To me, though, getting all of these useless coffee additions or supersizing your cup to Venti anything at a coffee house is about as necessary as driving an SUV I want to kick my dependency on caffeine, but the withdrawals are killer. IfI hit the average, I will drink about 26.7 gallons of coffee this year, and every day when I wake up I will feel dead until I have that stimulating zing running through my veins. I better watch my back during these trying days, though. With the administration coming down on uppers and getting uppity on downers, I might as well drink as much coffee I can before the iron fist of power alley bans all of my habits I love to hate but cannot live without. ~ SECOND SEMESTER SENIORS So this kid W"h o I sW"ear l'Ve never talked to before com es up to me and is like "1 heard you broke up w;th Mary! I thought you W"ere a great couple!p Dude, I don't actually like hanging out with you. Can W"e i ust. ..not do that? '- a~ V eah, that's cool. ~) ~ So, class, is the w;1demess r eally Eden? I don'tkno'W'. It's about time! .; ' If everybody gives me acouple bucks, can I go buy beer? 0_) T HE GADFLY 9 �Mere Sophistry: New York City Sucks by Robert Sale '10 THAT'S RIGIIT, GENTI.E READER, I'm coming right out and saying what I mean this time. W'hat I have to say is that important. No tricks, no manipulation, no verbal chicanery to get you discouraged in reading my article. You won't need the highly estimable Thomas Browning to interpret this for you: New York City sucks, it has always sucked, and will forever suck. Now it may seem like I'm just jumping on the "bash Jen Wright'' bandwagon, but that's definitely not the case. Because if I'm on this bandwagon, then I'm the conductor, the driver, and the lead guitarist. Because I'm not just poking realistic holes in her breezy, cavalier attitude towards things she purports to take seriously but is really only half-serious about (mink coats? Mad Max?); oh, no, I'm about to lay absolute waste to her shrines, her temples, and her Frank Gehry masturbatory fantasy. The carnage will be epic and no quarter will be given. That said, this is not a personal vendetta; it's just that I realize there will be high-profile collateral damage. To return to my point New York City is a filthy cesspool of the dregs of humanity. Starting off, the very site upon which nearly half of the population of New York City currently sits was bought from the Indians for sixty guilders. That's right, Manhattan Island was sold to a scrappy Walloon named Peter M:in.uit for less than the price of an iPod Shuffle. So right off the bat, New York City started being built on land so bad that the Indians didn't want it and only the Dutch could have mistaken it for something worthwhile. If that history lesson didn't sink in, think about this fact: the Tammany Hall political machine ran the government of the city for eighty years, from before the Civil War to the Great Depression. You know who ran Tammany Hall? Well, I'm going to tell you, because that right there was a rhetorical question. Right there. Barn. Anyways, the Irish ran that political machine. You heard me. The Irish. I can only leave to your infinite imagination, gentle reader, to conceive of what manner of governance that must have been. Eighty years of potato-eating Papistry. And even now, 1 in SO New York males have a distinctive genetic marker on their Y chromosome inherited from their ancestor, an Irish warlord named Niall of the Nine Hostages. So let's see here: Irish plus 10 : T:HE Hostages equals ...well, you do the math. Darth Vader's dominion. They are a team so vicious that they cursed the once-mighty BosAlgebra's not dead yet. Speaking of dead things, there is quite the ton Red Sox for 86 years because Boston sold art scene in New York. However, I use the term them Babe Ruth. You would think it would "art'' loosely, because ever since New York City work the other way around, but no, they Yanusurped the "art city" throne from Paris in the kees are just that evil. Just ask any non-Yan1950s "With its brand-paint-spanking-new kees fan about them, or ask any Yankees fan movement called "abstract expressionism," the about the Red Sox. Then you will know just visual arts have suffered such a decline in rel- how evil that team really is. There's also Wall Street, a seemingly innocuevance that neither beauty nor technique nor even meaning enter into them anymore. I per- ous pile of pavement which has contributed sonally think the Mitchell Art Gallery here is a to more suicides than Jack Kevorkian. For sitfantastic asset to our community and I loved ting atop this street is the largest collection of the da Vinci exhibit, but seriously, Kirstie dreams and fantasies on the globe, also known Dodd, if you think those Jasper Johns doodles as the New York Stock Exchange. People called were really art, then I've got a bridge to sell you. "stockbrokers" stand around all day yelling at In New York City. W'here all that bad art started each other in a massive attempt to gamble "With and may never stop until people over the age other people's money and amass a fortune by buying and selling deeds for things which don't of five stop painting things altogether. After all that, you might be thinking, well, really exist except in the minds of the people New York City's got some bad history, but who trade them. It's basically like Pokemon that doesn't make it that much worse than any cards, except this time, it's not just your weekly other catastrophically huge city, right? Wrong. allowance, it's your life savings. Finally, there's the most multicultural meetBecause New York City has the highest concentration of evil in the entire world. It's true. ing of malefaction this world has to offer right They've pretty much got the evil per capita of in Manhattan: the United Nations headquaryour average Legion of Doom bimonthly ters. Even though its stated goal is to "prevent meeting, except there ain't no Justice League wars" and "promote dialogue" between nations, what really happens is that every country around. For starters, there's a preponderance of shows up to further its own selfish agenda gangs in New York (otherwise Martin Scorsese and hide its true intentions behind a slew of wouldn't have made a movie about it), and mellifluous words, half-truths, and intentiongangs are bad, because that's probably the first ally ambiguous interpreters. Iran, a member thing you learn in the D.A.RE. class in elemen- of this international coalition of chicanery, has tary school. New York City is full of gangs, most recently restarted its uranium enrichment too: white gangs, black gangs, Latin gangs, program rather brazenly while maintaining in Asian gangs, not to mention Mafiosi of every the UN. that it is either not doing so or is major Eastern Bloc country and a vast majority doing so for atomic energy and not weapons. of the Mediterranean; you've got your Crips, All this, of course, is done in a building deyour Bloods, your Kings, the MS-13, and the signed by aman who was a vigorous supporter Triads, but that's just the port side of the gang- of the Vichy regime in France during World plank, because lurlcingaround every comer there War IL Quite honestly, if that's not enough to concould be Dead Rabbits, Natives, Jets, Sharks, one or more of the Gang of Four, the Scooby vince you thatNewYork City is a terrible, terDoo gang (potentially split up), nble place which should never be lived in, visDoppelgiingers, gang-bangers, gang-busters, or ited, or even spoken of, then you must not gangrene. And if you do run into any of those have heard anyone "With a Brooklyn accent talk. I mean, "tuawlk". Yeesh. There are veritable gangs, you will be in fact made dead. If that's not enough, there's the New craptonnes of culture everywhere else you can York Yankees, who have done enough solely go, so why not go someplace where, even if in the world of sports to earn them the moni- you hate the accent, at least it's not your lanker 'The Evil Empire", once reserved only for guage they're butchering?~ GADFLY ................................................... . �What The Hell Was Jen-Sais-Quoi About, Anyway? by Jennifer Wright '08 But then, it is a reminder that, after three Whimsy, too. And distraction I take more I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING. The second time? Yeah, of course. The rr..illionth time? Abso- years, some people simply never got the joke. seriously than anyd1ing. You see, I often find Earnest responses to Jen-Sais-Quoi have L.1iat at the moment when any humor at a lutely. But the first time? No. Honestly, I didn't, though that seems vaguely ludicrous always been a little out of place because the gathering has reached a pitch, when people now. I'd been writing]en-Sais-Quoi for about column has almost never been done in ear- are howling with laughter, that I'm retwo weeks when I got my first piece of hate nest. Earnestness is not a trait I am particu- minded that in eighty years or so (and the mail. As I recall it was brief and anonymous larly fond of, if only because it seems so years go by very quickly) none of us will exand called me a raw bitch. I read it immedi- terribly obvious to be earnest about issues ist any more. And as we expire so will that ately before taking Mr. Burke out to lunch everyone cares about. Insouciance and irrev- whole world of exquisite and nuanced and was amazingly upset. I felt like I still erence, on the other hand, require a bit of memories that must be contained witl:1in had to take Mr. Burke out to lunch though daring that must be cultivated. As a result, everyone. Before doing so we will most and didn't want to mention that whole ''hate if people went out and did any of the things likely suffer t..'irough unspeakable emotional mail" thing. I made it through about half written in it, whether it be slaying the world's and physical agonies. I believe that in a the mushroom tart at Reynold's before vom- population of minks, or bringing :historical world where everyone is faced with such teriting whereupon I gave Mr. Burke a long characters back from fi1e dead, I would be, rifying certainty the fact that we ca..."l work speech about how I'm not a raw bitch, re- well, to say the least, I would be very sur- ourselves into a lather over L.11.e next episode ally, I'm not. To t..11.is day, I think Mr. Burke prised. Hate mail about the columns under- of Gossip Girl, or a pair of shoes, or generjust thinks I'm a very sensitive person. And lying messages have always been out of place, ally be silly at all, when the easiest thing to I never did try that mushroom tart again. because there are no underlyillg messages. do would be to foam at the mouth in abject Over the years, I got to expect it. I have This is absolutely inpossibla for gyeat num- despair - well, frankly I think it's goddamn been called, in no particular order, or as a bers of Johnnies to comprehend. I think it courageous of us. result of any relation to the articles as far as has something to do with being taught to So, in a response to a question posed a I've been able to tell: a crazy feminist, a crazy look for underlyillg messages in seminar long time ago, namely, "What the Hell is regressionist who sets back the feminist texts. I would highly encourage tutors to Jen-Sais-Quoi About?" that's what it was movement a hundred years, a rabid republi- stop this loathsome and detestable practice. about. I hope it made you giggle now and can, a rabid democrat, willfully naive, cynical So, if the colun111 was supposed to do again, and lightened your day on occasion. I in a way that is destroying America, a slut, a anything, it was supposed to allow people hope it also made you k,.-iow who Manolo prude, racist, anti-Semitic, and, most egre- to consider the trivialities and superficiali- Blahnik is, because cultural ignorance is algious of all, moralfy opposed to balleri.na flats. ties of life wit.li. the same vim and vigor with most as irritating as undue earnestness. But For the record, I love ballerina flats. I have which they consider the more probing philo- if it couldn't do that, then I hope it made fallen pray to the temptation to buy them sophical questions broached daily in our you laugh. even though I can't walk in them at all. tutorials. The humor - if you were able to And I'll leave you with my all time favorThey're terribly Audrey Hepburn. If I were find them funny - was supposed to come ite poem by Leonard Cohen who said all a man I should always be falling in love in large part by their juxtaposition with your this better than I ever could: with a girl who wears ballerina flats. The rest readll;.g Kant. The column started more or of the comments are, of course, entirely less in a response to the fact that all anybody The Music Came Softly By Us true, though how I manage it all at once is a ever seemed to write in The Gatiffy was eiI would like to remind the management That the drinks are watered ther a long winded political debate, or else, mystery. The moment Ashley Cardiff - the chicest reactions to something they read in semiThe coat and hat check girl has syphilis And the band is composed of former SS woman I know - suggested that a pro-fur nar. Oh, God, those were dull colu..mns. All article would be cheeky, my immediate re- I really wanted was to write something that monsters But as it is New Year's Eve sponse was a) that's so cheeky and b) you wasn't dull. And I have lip cancer know some poor earnest Freshman is going That's not to say that I never took the I will put a party hat on my concussion to take that entirely seriously and write a long column seriously. I did. I always believed rambling piece of hate mail about it wherein and now, you see, I will slip briefly into earAnd dance they will mention slaughter houses and call nestness - that it mattered. Nobody takes me a terrible person. To read t..lie entirety of -t.liat much personal abuse for something (:No, it's not the last column. There will said earnest article, you can reference the last that they don't think matters. I just didn't be another one next week. And it will be necessarily take the topics I was discussing light like rainbows and creme brulee.) ~ Gadf!J. seriously. Levity I take very seriously. . 11 THE GADFLY .. : ..... �THE GAD1'LY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Dear Alizabeth: Homemade Drapes and Davey Havok by Elizabeth Burlington '08 and Ali Schwab '08 DEAR ALlZABETH, I somehow managed to score a sweet single in Spector for next year. Can you give me any tips on decorating and staying social while living alone? I would much appreciate it! No More Pinknry ***** Pinkney-B-Gone: Goodness gracious. Thank you so much for this question. I made this rant several times to deaf ears during the housing lottery: Spector is awesome! And no, it is not far away. You can usually get to class in six minutes or less, depending on traffic. As soon as you can convince people that the equivalent of a couple of city blocks is not actually a long distance they will come visit you, and you will not be lonely. Good luck with that. In all seriousness, Spector does not cast you into isolation such that all the people you don't regularly hang out with forget about you. As long as you're going to class, eating in the dining hall, and visiting the coffee shop, you'll have no problem. As for decoration, I've lived in Gilliam for three years now and have had time to figure out what works. The furniture is nice enough and the room cozy enough that you can go the minimalist route very effectively. I obtained four matching picture frames (8.5'' X 11 ") and put some computer print-out images in them. You can hang these with string and small, clear plastic adhesive hooks and they don't look so bad. Get yourself a small bedside table - Goodwill often has some nice ones available, and you can always tote it back over there once you don't need it anymore. Go to the fabric store and sew yourself some drapes. Anyone who lives in a double can make a matching curtain for sectioning off the two rooms, and hang it from a tension rod. This was my roommate's frankly awesome idea, although people make fun of us for havingwhat appears to be a shower curtain between our rooms. I say, whatever works, and it keeps my 12 : silly handmade drapes company. Perhaps one day they will be joined by a small handmade cushion. Awhile ago I found my grandmother's doily collection. This was one of the best things to ever happen to my dorm room. One of them has become my printer doily. It is amazing. Doilies do NOT automatically make you a grandma, A Schwab Dear Pinkney-Free, Congratulations! Now you will be able to live in a building that does not squeak when you walk down its hallways. Your decision to live in Spector was a smart one, since now you will be able to go to sleep without having to listen to the freshmen boys that decided that there's no better time than 4 am to complete the Pinkney Challenge. Spector is clean, Spector is healthy. And the rooms in Spector are sweet. As for decorating, I was once paid an unusual compliment. After seeing my room and its fabulous decor for the first time, a friend of mine told me that if there was a contest for Best Decorated Room on campus, "you wouldn't win but you could definitely be a contestant." Ever since freshman year, after I moved out of my parents' house, I decided that I wanted nothing more than a combination black metal/ fairy princess theme for my room. Now that I am a senior I was able to partially realize that dream. There is nothing lovelier than a set of pink sheets and an iridescent canopy over your bed surrounded by posters of your favorite bands from the eighties and nineties. Davey Havok watches over me while I sleep, leering at me while biting down angrily on his sterling silver lip ring. It's not creepy as long as he's not the first thing you see when you wake up. Now that you have a single you can put up whatever you want to and no one will tell you that it is too scary (well, I guess they can but there's not much they can do, right?). Just be yourself. And get a carpet. Those floors are hard. And the comers of the furniture have a tendency to stab you when you least expect it. Just be careful. If you are concerned with turning anti-social after you move into your single, don't worry. I firmly believe in "once a Room Johnnie, always a Room Johnnie." Some people can have a million roommates and still be anti-social, while others can find a way to hang out with people even if they live by themselves 35 miles off campus.Just make sure that you keep things in perspective. If you can, try to move all of your friends onto the same floor. That way you can be social without having to leave the building. Seems to have worked out fairly well for some of us on Third Gilliam. Also, while Facebook can be considered "social" in some way, the pixelated images of people you knew in high school are a poor substitute for real, breathing human beings. Especially your fellow Johnnies. So enjoy next year in peace and quiet, just remember that no man is an island. Watch out for those corners, E. McDowell Burlington THE GADFLY.······· · ··········· ·· · · ·········· ··· ·· · · ·· ··· ·· · . . . .i .1 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Burlington, Elizabeth (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXIX, Issue 18 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2008-05-02 Description An account of the resource Volume XXIX, Issue 18 of The Gadfly. Published May 2, 2008. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 29.18 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/91431d45898913b461775661f12913e1.pdf ad780c2f484dd3a0c42e98b347e00aa1 PDF Text Text THE GADFLY Annapolis, Maryland Mqy9, 2008 The St. John} College Student Week!J' Volume XXIX, Issue 19 Immortality by Erica Stratton '08 DURING EVERY PRANK SKIT I have watched for the past four years I've found myself thinking, Is this it? Will I finally get a critique on my burlesque queen/ desperate bellydancer dancing style? Will the entire Polity find out I'm one of those people who will listen to the same song over and over again at full volume? That I pick my nose? Will I finally be exposed for that time I opened my door at 2 am wearing only a red sheet toga? And every year, I am disappointed. This entire lack of any regard from the Polity has at last led me to doubt my own existence. While the giants of Reality organization are faithfully made fun of every year, even my most far-reachingly ill considered adventures in love and mindless ambition remain unnoticed. Why am I not ever made fun of, I lament, I have a sordid past too! And I make way bigger mistakes than complaining about The Epoch getting all the funding. What about the time I had a yearlong crush on a conservative who didn't believe in sex before diarriage? That ridiculous pink shawl dress I wore Febbie year, complete with a belt of jingly gold coins? My brief stint as part of aharem? You didn't even get after me for writing about Melee for The Gat:if!y, though one of my tutors and most of my classmates have gleefully criticized the publication itself in my presence. Hey, it was :ME that ousted Oark Saylor as chief photographer, triggering the topple from power that got him mentioned in this year's skit. Pink Triangle also got a mention, but I can assure you we don't do that sort of thing at our meetings. The stories I tell are way dirtier. And though so-and-so might have a super secret text message glrl.friend, the script writing committee somehow managed to miss all four of my Im.mortality continued on pg. 4 Farewell From the Editor by E. McDowell Burlington '08 IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO WRITE ANY'IHING about something lost without getting terribly sentimental Lucky for me it is not easy to lose what one never had. I know by now you're sick of all the drama, all the leading-up-to-graduation sob stories about that time back in freshman year when the people did that stuff at that place and how this year's freshmen have no idea what being a Johnnie is really like. I have been here four years arid I have no idea what being a Johnnie is like. In fact, I am convinced now more than ever that there is no "essence of the Johnnie" and that anyone who employs that term is simply hiding under a straining umbrella which is threatening to break at any moment. When I was a junior I met a young Midshipman named Brian. Brian was a nice enough guy but for some reason he was completely and utterly convinced that everyone at St John's was completely and utterly crazy. In order to disprove thatmyth I invited him to come over to campus and see for himselfhownormal we really are. Unfortunately; before I had a chance to show him around he wandered onto campus unsupervised with a bunch of his teammates from crew. This event also happened to coincide with another event on campus, namely the decision of some male polity members to dress up in fairy wings and dance around the quad. Poor Brian was traumatized andit took me hours of explaining to convince him that not everyone on this campus did that. While I am completely in favor of freedom and selfexpression, I would like to point out that any given person's any given action reflects back onto the school, sometimes in a very harsh, light Though Brian's opinion arguably does not Farewell continued on pg. 3 �THE .,-GADFLY Editor-in-Chief Elizabeth Burlington Managing Editor Kat Shears Assistant Editor Chris Thom Babak Zarin Literary Editor Mark F. McClay A Request from OLEG Organization for Liberal Education in Georgia is looking for 18,000 people to donate ONE dollar by June 1st, so that we can send 6 students and 1 tutor to help found a liberal arts college in Tbilisi, Georgia. That is equivalent to ONE facebook gift 1/3rd of a latte at city dock 5 pieces of candy at the book store 68/85ths of a slice of pizza at the coffee shop 1/49,000th of your tuition We know you and that you know other people. Please got to www.liberaleducationgeorgia.org to donate and find out more or hand a buck to one of our members before you leave for the sutn.mer. Proofreader Rowenna Thorson Distribution Manager Elyssa Browning Photographer Clai:ke Saylor Erica Stratton Contributing to this Issue William Braithwaite Elizabeth Burlington Kirstie Dodd Robert Sale Ali Schwab Erica Stratton Ashlee Turnbull Founded in 1980, The Ga4f!y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Vtsitors and Gov=o:rs, and the offices at the St John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole :responsibility of the autho:r(s) and do not necessarily :represent the opinions of The Gat!f!y staff. The Gat!f!y :reserves the right to accept, :reject, and edit submissions in anyway necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St John's permit Letters of 200 wo:rds o:r fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited fo:r grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Ga4f!y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. The deadline fo:r submissions is Saturday before midnight, unless permission fo:r a delay is granted in advance. Submissions can be accepted as long~ they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly p:refer:red. Please e-mail submissions to gadfly@sjca.edu. 2 Preparing for Spontaneity by William Braithwaite, tutor .Au, OF us, PROBABLY, have seen such happerungs, I hope. Let me describe one that I saw right here, in this place, where now, very nearly at Equinox, we have gathered for the College's brief, annual celebration of the beginning of our Spring sports season. It was basketball. Like football, it is a game of territory: each team defends its goal, or basket, while the other tries to invade the defended territory and to score there. Scoring means that offense has overcome defense, and the points awarded are the prize for temporary capture of the latter's territory. Just over there, in the East-Southeast corner of the gym, Mary Davenport, '06, very near the side-line, caught a cross-court pass from a teammate. In the instant of making the catch, she was simultaneously gauging whether she herself had a clear shot (she didn't), and looking for a team-mate who might have (there was none in her range of vision). And because her mind and body were each making several motions at once, she was also falling to her knees, but was keeping possession. Behind her, a voice--clear, firm, not loud, self-confident-a voice said, "Mar, behind!" On her knees, not turning around to look, she made a two-handed toss over her head to a teammate who caught and jumped and shot in one single graceful flowing motion that continued with the ball's upward parabolic arc and its downward whisper through the net. The throw, the catch, the shot, the arc up and the fall, seemed like one. It was lovely. It was exhilarating. To see it was to be glad to be alive. This whole moment, and the motion that happened within and throughout its duration, I have come now to see, retrospecti:vely, as a living refutation of Zeno's paradoxes-a here, a now, not of rest and stasis, but of an instantaneous cascading overflow of vitality andJoie de vivre, bom out of two players each being ready for a moment when that moment came that they should dance as one. Can such moments be prepared for? Can we prepare for the serendipitous? Can we cultivate spontaneity, or at least a readiness for it, a receptivity? If so, how? My experience as a long-distance runner, and my observation of other sports, suggest to me that the discipline of play can be a preparation for being spontaneous. When the old philosopher Parmenides is described as a race-horse that has lost the desire to run, it seems sad. We wonder, what happened? Did his body decay, and with it, his eros for knowing? Or is such a loss better understood as a decay of spirit? On the last day of his life, the spectacularly erotic Socrates, a man whom neither battle nor conversation nor wine could fatigue, seems still full of desire to run. What preserves and nurtures Spirit? By what food is it nourished and vitalized? When it is unwell, what is its medicine? What does Spirit yearn for, look up to? TIIB GADFLY ................................................... . Spontaneity continued on pg. 6 �Farewell continued from front page matter Gust ask Ms. Diaz-Albertini) we must keep in mind that the things we do as individuals are our own choices and should not be excused with a wave of the hand and something akin to "but I'm a Johnnie, we're like that." Some Johnnies like dressing up in fairy wings and scaring Midshipmen off campus, other Johnnies wear tucked-in polo shirts and smoke pipes. In order for people like Brian to stop grossly generalizing us, we need to stop grossly generalizing ourselves. Stop using the term ''Johnnieness." It is dumb and inaccurate. While it is true that we all must have some things in co=on in order to love and benefit from this school it is not true that we are all the same, partaking in some kind of form of the Something that causes people like Drake Talley to tattoo Proposition 1.4 to his buttocks. We are Johnnies because we all go to the same school. Not because we are intrinsically linked by some wacky, ineffable substance. After four years here I am not in possession of some kind of magical eidos that will make me into someone that the whole world will adore. I am just a normal person with a good education. I have noticed over the years that the only people who believe in the magical eidos are A) Freshmen (which is okay, because they are young and ignorant) B) People who don't actually care about the Program. The latter group talks loudly and at great length about how gosh darn wonderful it is to be a Johnnie HOW TO but never seem to be particularly interested in what they are doing in class. They want to lead younger students and teach them about being a Johnnie but they have missed the entire point of this college: getting a degree. Your time is better spent doing your lab homework instead of flailing your arms wildly, shouting to the stars about how so much more special you are because you go here. It's people like you who make people like me look bad to people like Brian. But nobody actually cares about what Elizabeth Burlington thinks. I just figured that this publication was ego-centric enough that I could get away with ranting just this once. After all, I am the one that decides what goes in the Gad- fly. the reunion in ten years and hear you gushing about your ''Johnnieness" I will walk up to you and make sure my young over-achieving child and investment-banker husband kick you in the shins. The same goes for the rest of you: you are Johnnies, yes, you are St. John's students. You are not shining beacons of intellectual light intended for the sole purpose of bringing salvation into a world of majors and lecture classes.No doubt you are all smart, capable people but that comes from a number of different sources, not just the school. So next time someone shakes their head at you for wandering barefoot through the Academy gardens, or climbing city roofs while howling "Don't Stop Believin"' remember to take some personal credit. I know I do. Please don't think that any of this means that I did not enjoy my time here at St. John's. I did, and I will always remember it fondly. I hope all the other graduating seniors can learn to do the same. However, when you look back please make sure you remember all those times where your heart was stomped on, or a good friend stopped talking to you for some stupid reason, or that time you got an Aubrey-propelled soccer ball to the head. You need to remember the drama, the hatred, the Critique of Pure Reason, the annoying people in class, and that one tutor who seemed to have had it in for you. I already know you will remember the good stuff, but all the evils of fortune keep life in perspective and allow you to move on to bigger and better things. If I see you at And speaking of credit.... Special Thanks to: Dylan, Stacey, Brie, and Ben for being my longest and closest friends Mr. Tuck for getting me through enablement, my senior ess~, and all my panic attacks Ali Schwab for proving that first impressions are sometimes horrib!JI wrong My family for thinking I am better than I real!JI am Rosemary, Trish, Ruth, Victoria, and Jen for being the most wondeiful boss-people ever Raphi and Mimi for alw~s being impartial third parties It has been an honor to be your editor. S ingin' well, fare thee well, fare thee well, fare thee well, I am leaving, yes I leave it all toyou....f!Jr JVI;.~KE EVER"'k'"'"ONE HATE YOU STEP "I : Ask a question that makes it obvious y<>u didn "t do the reading. I d on'I: kn O'w" 'w"hat .A.list otl e means by ~meta.physics~ . Can 'w"e talk a.bout 'w"ha.t ~meta.physics~ means? ........ S TE P 3: Go t o sleep at 8:20. STEP 2: Do ever-y'l:hing but participate in the conversation_ Gosh. ls that a.fly on the "W"8..11? I should s tare at it . STE P 4: 'W'ake up at 9 :40 and rejoin the conversation_ Vo u t"eaJi z e if .._.e I d on'I: understand . Can you explain that? kill ed y ou ti g h t n O'w" no i ury 'w"O ul d c on"v'ict u s _. tight? '- . 3 THE GADFLY .. : . . . . . �Immortality continued from front page internet boyfriends, not to mention the scandal I was associated with junior year- but that news is so old even I am bored with it. Instead Jennifer Wright ends up in all the skits. Now, she is extremely pretty and writes funnier articles than I do, but has she gotten herself barred from a New York City apartment because her beer-drinking Ritalin slugging male acquaintance threw up on the sofa? I think not. Drake Talley once mistook me for 11iss Wright across the quad and for a long ti.me I thought that will be the closest brush I ever had with fame-I wasn't even wearing high heels. But now, at last, I have a title. I am the reigning champion of pudding wrestling. Like many great men, my road to championship was forced upon me and fostered by many mistakes and misunderstandings. It all came about because by the ti.me I got to the Reality breakfast on Saturday, there was no coffee. By the ti.me I had returned from City Dock, there were two new names on the "Pudding Wrestling Sign Up" board under "Co-Ed": Erica Stratton vs. Edward. "Oh, wow," I said. ''Do it," said my friends. Mr. Harrison reminded me that according to Nietzche this might be my one shot at immortality. I went back to Spector to change into something that could be sacrificed to the wear and tear of combat and on the way met Edward and her boyfriend. Their faces and throats were striped with blue and green warpaint. ''What's all this?" I exclaimed. "I dunno, 11iss Stratton, you might want to start training to get ready," said Edward. "Ready for what?" I said, not entirely sure if war paint and pudding wrestling went together. ''To die." My mom always told me I had a vivid imagination. So when I finally made my way to the quad to scope out the field of battle, I was shocked at the accommodations. All my friends' questions as to what kind of flavors there were going to be, whether they would have separate tubs for each, and whether I would be eating any of it, were disappointed in an instant. 4 Instead of the calf-deep expanse of fudge me. "She's not in my weight class!" he exI had been expecting, there was something claimed, and ran off. That took care of more like a thin film of brown sludge. I round two. ''.Any takers?" the ref challenged the was hesitant to call it "pudding". Though they had industrial-sized cans of both crowd. There were none. "chocolate" and "vanilla", there still wasn't I knew they were afraid. enough to cover the floor of the kiddie pool Another tip for future pudding wresmore than a couple inches. So they started adding water. Then flour, until it was big tlers: if you have long hair, it soaks up the glorky puddle with little lumps of white pudding like a mop, so that even the spectafloating in it. They further mixed the result- tors who think they're safely out of range ing mess with their feet, winepress style, will get splattered every ti.me you toss your until it resembled something like chocolate head. I was standing tall: I had been transsoup. The smell of imitation coca hung in formed from a chubby girl wearing a bikini the air. Then two lovely ladies jumped in to a chubby girl covered in brown sludge and began writhing and clawing at each other from head to toe. I was a cut scene from with such vigor that one of my homosexual Charlie and The Chocolate Factory: the fat kid acquaintances was forced to leave, claiming that they tried to drown in chocolate and was still so badass they survived. he didn't feel too well. Then, way back in the crowd, I spotted But even with dozens of spectators in attendance and the tension mounting in Edward. Final!J! preparation for what was sure to be the fight ''Where have you been?" I demanded, of the century, my opponent had yet to show herself. By the ti.me three other bouts facing her in all my pudding-slathered glory. had been fought, I was seeing my one I don't remember what explanation there chance at college immortality slipping away. was, if any. A second later she had stepped "Where} Edward?!" roared-my loudest roar inside the circle, still fully dressed and with a not being enough to make a dent in the gen- croquet mallet resting casually on her shouleral yelling. Where's Mr. Talley when you need der. Oh dear, I thought to myself, suddenly him? At last, with the clock ti.eking, the refs remembering that Edward wasn't like other were forced to call for volunteers. I think people. This was the girl whose boyfriend they picked the biggest male they could find had described their dates with the phrase, out of the crowd and said to him, ''You "It makes me feel mortal." She said something like, ''You ready?" wanna wrestle her?" ''Not if you're brining that thing!" I ex"Rawr," I said, flexing my muscles. I'm not sure if it was the sight of me in claimed. She disappeared. my bikini or that I looked genuinely fierce, In the end they paired me with a freshbut he seemed a little unsure. Nevertheless, we faced one another across the slippery ex- man who, I learned later, had been a boxer. panse of the kiddie pool and the whistle She flailed at me in a series of swimming kicks that made me feel for a moment as if I blew. Just in case any of you seniors are con- had been caught beneath a paddle wheel. sidering this as a future career, wrestling Whistles blew. "Oh," she said, not flippantly but in genusomeone covered in pudding in a smooth plastic kiddie pool is like walking in but- ine confusion, "I'm not supposed to do tered boots over the frozen lake of hell. You that?" ''Who won?" I asked, dazed. can barely stand up yourself, much less hang ''You did," they told me. The ref gave onto your opponent. An opponent who had far more hard muscle mass than I did and me his hand and I thought he was trying to was rapidly immobilizing me no matter what help me out until he raised it above my head. move I made. A second after squashing me ''Erica Stratton-" "The reigning pudding champion!" into the floor of the pool he squealed, ''This is SO weird!" and jumped out. I guess I someone yelled. How the heck did that happen? I thought. won by default. The second fellow that agreed to wrestle There might have even been a few cheers. seemed eager until he got a good look at ~ THE GADFLY ..... ··············································· �Being Jennifer Wright JENNIFER WRIGHT did not submit an article in time for the final issue of the Gadfly. Please accept our best attempts at a substitute. Hello, my dearest, darlingest audience! For years now you've laughed at my triumphs and wept at my sorrows, living in thrall of my every word. I know it must be terribly traumatic to realize you will soon have to face existence without me. Many of you have approached me in the past weeks, clinging pitifully to my Nifte West Manolo Blahnik pumps and begging me to stay. I empathize deeply. For your sake, dear readers, I have bound and printed the full run of my articles at my own expense, available for you at the bookstore. (Editor's Note: Seriously. We're not even kidding.) 'What a tumultuous time I've had here at the college! Why, it seems I can't go anywhere without creating a scandal. I would like to offer my thanks to all the little people who unwittingly became heroes and villains in my daily dramas. Without you, I would have had to do the sorts of things ordinary, vulgar people do, like homework. The only sort of reading I enjoy is a good pulp novel in math class. You should try it, too! And if anyone gives you trouble tell them about your imaginary meeting with a fashion designer. Everyone knows you can't argue with that. I would like to thank everyone with an exceptional sense of humor who enjoyed my articles these past years. Obviously I never meant to be taken seriously, except when I did, so please accept my apologies for your own misinterpretations. Here's a handy tip: take me at my word for everything that sounds fabulous, charming and whimsical; anything that makes me sound shallow or superficial is obviously a joke. I seem to have attracted a lot of negative attention for my articles, but it's almost always anonymous. Why is that? Maybe it's from people who think all girls shouldn't have to strive to be a size 2. Maybe it's from people who think writing jokes about killing animals is in bad taste. Or maybe it's just from people who know the difference between Conde Nast and Advance Publications. Tbis mail is often hurtful, and it's always counterintuitive. If you're so worked up about my opinions, have the decency and eloquence to respond in an article of your own! Miss Holcomb's article was a wonderful, thought-provoking piece that in- cited a lot of polity discussion. I would encourage more of you to reply to me on that level. I don't intend to espouse any kind of hatred. If anything, I try to make the Gadfly a bit prettier and lighthearted. How is that so bad? I would hope all of you agree that we at the college often take our academic pursuits much too seriously. Yes, we're here to study, butwe're also here to enjoy ourselves, and I suspect some of you are jealous that I excel in doing just that. I bring a silly, delicate joy to the Gacif!y. Why, I make an effort of bringing joy everywhere I go. The veracity of my stories ultimately doesn't matter. I'm an entertainer, not a reporter, and I'm sorry if I failed to entertain you. But I know many of you have been entertained by me and my columns for some time now. Isn't that enough? Over the years I have tolerated everything from well-natured jabs to vicious attacks on my character. Discouraging as it may be, I've never once stopped being myself. I'll have you know that takes quite a bit of strength. So when you leave, remember me as someone who was always constant and true to herself--even in five-inch stiletto heels.~ THE GUY WHO SUCKS AND YOUR RELATION SHIP WI'TH HIM FRESHMAN VEAR blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah l ...JjJl.~!llla.. SOPHOMORE VEAR blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Why don't you ever SHUT UP?! I HATE YOU! I . 5 THE GADFLY .. : ..... �Mere Sophistry: Not Even Close to Stopping by Robert Sale '10 TODAY, GENTLE READER, as you may know, soul of every member of this polity, and thus is the end. It's the end of the schoolyear, the it is my sworn duty to rid the campus of all of end of a blissful time of undergraduatehood the demons of dialectic which threaten at every for our seniors, the end of a long reign of tum to sway each undergraduate like such a something somewhat short of terror by my palm tree hither and yon from the Forms of estimable editor, Elizabeth Burlington, and the Plato to the God of Aquinas to the Categorical end of an era of nearly uncontested intramural Imperative of Kant to the Superman of dominance by the Guardians. The Green Nietzsche. Of course, sophistry isn't all serious stuff; Waves are coming for you next year, and not it is also lighthearted entertainment, ready to even Alex Shaeffer can help you now. But I digress. It is not the end of every- please the eyes and ears of anyone attentive to thing. The universe is not ending, the fabric of soothing soliloquies on surly Sicilians or jovial the cosmos has not been tom asunder, and, jabs at crazy columnists, weaving tropes and of course, my article will continue running in toting words as weapons, careening from chithe Gadfly for light-years to come. So you can asmata to consonances at every alliterative tum. add that to the list, gentle reader, of things And while it can use verbal irony as a valiant assured in this life: death, taxes, the dining hall instrument, it is never sarcastic about true innot having Lucky Charms when you most want tention and always in earnest when discussing them, and sophistry. irony. To tum my attention briefly back to the wellNow, last week the very posh :Miss Wright wrote what could be best described as an article heeled article of Miss Wright, I feel that we are about her article. Of course, I can never dream in accord as regards the importance of humor. of having the worldliness, grace, tact, demure- She says that she takes levity seriously, and I for ness, panache, or liquid assets of :Miss Wright, one can no more disagree with that sentiment and thus I cannot therefore even begin to en- than I can remove my own head from my neck tertain the notion of doing something similar and expect to be the same. The only problem, with my own humble, down-to-earth, hoipolloi, gentle reader, is that there is one very imporand altogether culturally impoverished article. tant point upon which the unimitatable and However, I think it incumbent upon me to inconceivably more noble Miss Wright and I provide you, the gentle reader, with something diverge: namely, I actually have a sense of hutangible and substantive as regards the nature mor and she doesn't. That is indeed a bold claim to make and it of my intents and purposes for bringing you takes a bold man to make it, but make it I have sophistry. It is said that the early sophists were keen and I stand by it. Miss Wright may indeed have on improving the souls _ and virtues of the painted a lovely, impeccably-clad portrait of young Greeks they taught the arts of rhetoric herself as privy to her foibles, her idiosyncrato. Now I have the same principle, that is to sies, and her common perception, but the realsay, of improving the souls of and exhorting ity is that is so far from reality that I don't really to virtue all of my gentle readers. It is clear, even know where to begin. To begin (as I must, at any rate), it is quite however, that my efforts have not been esteemed so by various members of the com- demonstrably the case that nobody has the munity, who have dared even to say that my same perception of him or herself that the rest particular brand of sophistry, if not sophistry of the world has of them. Our tutors certainly in general, is detrimental to the very things try their damnedest in our Don Rags, but there really is always that self-perception that gets in which I try to uphold and endorse. This could not be further from the truth, the way of truly seeing other people's percephowever, because it is verily the case that, as all tions, which of course in themselves vary from orators must know, if you cannot inscribe vir- person to person. I for one certainly do not tue into the hearts and souls of your audience, think, for all of my self-deprecation and willthen it is impossible to keep them from sway- ingness to sacrifice my very person for the sake ing this way and that in their opinions, as do of a (sometimes bad) joke, that I know what palm trees in a hurricane. My intent, of course, other people think of me. has been to produce virtue in the heart and 6 And truly, I am fine with that. As you read this other people are skipping straight over it, thinking it a load of useless drivel or simply indifferent to anything I have to say. Some people may hate it or hate me or my face or my home state. They may write indignant articles about my cavalier attitude or, if they're as lowborn as Kirstie Dodd, make ridiculous, poorlythought-out ad hominem attacks on my person or my style of writing. For all that, though, I retain a sense of humor about it as well as a sense of perspective. :Miss Wright does not and cannot. For someone as seemingly dry, detached, and ironic as she is, she still takes things seriously which she should not. She may think I'm an asshole because I name-dropped her in an article about New York City for what may have been no good reason at all, for all she knows. But I've got some news for her and for the rest of the world: there are assholes out there, and there are a whole hell of a lot of them in New York City. Just go to a Yankees game. Living in a fantasy dreamworld full of money and minks and moVies doesn't make the assholes go away; in fact, only two things make it go away- alcohol and death. Having a sense of humor helps quite a bit, though, when confronted with the ugliness of truth and reality, because in the end, the difference will not exist, because you and all of the assholes you see around you just won't exist anymore. Except for me. Because there ain't no stoppin' the sophistry train. 'Ir Spontaneity continued from page 2 To prepare to be spontaneous seems like a paradox. Preparation requires discipline and training, while spontaneity is uncaused cause. But is there no account we can give that might point a way to get ready, so that someday, if our chance comes, we will be able to act fitly and well without deliberation? Might preparation for spontaneity be like getting ready to have a serious conversation about a difficult and important book? May you have in play tonight, and always, as much strength and skill, beauty and excellence, as your soul can carry with grace-enough to be ready when the moment calls.lllr T HE GADFLY . .. . . . . .. ...... . .... ·· ··· ··· ·· ··· · · · · ........... . .. . �Dodd off the Quadfor the Summer: D-I-Y: How You Can Make this Newspaper Good: An Eschatological and Pleromatic Imperative by Kirstie Dodd '10 BECAUSE IT 'WlLL BE MANY MONTHS until you read another Gadf!y again--0r rather, peel a tom, two month-old Gadf!y up from the bathroom floor of the coffee shop, purse your lips as you flip through it to find the comic and athletes of the week, pass a dull eye over anything written by Bobbykins "I-wrote-an-incendiary-article-but-now-I'm-pouting-because-Igot-no-hate-mail-because-no-one-read-mylast-article" Sale, and make it (hopefully) through 1 / 3 of Yours Truly's column- I have decided to write about the very publication you are holding in your hands. It's likely that at some point this year you have said this to impress your wit-deprived clique of friends: "The Ga4f!y blows." You might have gotten a titter from them, but frankly I'm ill and drowsy of people thinking that bashing the school newspaper is funny. Where's your pride in the EssJay-Cee? Yeah, we know it's bad, but it's the only paper we've got. If you really want to insult something, save your comments for The Epoch and all of those people with absurd, hyphenated last names that write for it in order to pad their grad school applications with seemingly intelligent extracurricular activities. Instead of mocking this pathetic stapled excuse for a newspaper, why not try writing a column yourself? There are a few I think this paper needs in order to win the gadfly gold. Since Ara is graduating, someone needs to grab the baton and start off the blocks with a sports column. Not everyone knows about or is interested in the latest Guardians handball victory, but The Ga4f!y could be the perfect end zone to discuss the "sports" of St. John's with the added enticement of the corny sports metaphor. When I say "someone" should write a sports column, I mean a "boy," because we don't need an article every week about how attractive J.P. Snyder is with his shirt off 1\hybe I'm being too hard on my sex, which is a phrase that poorly masks my rampant misogyny; I suppose a girl could write a sports column, but only if she keeps her eye on the ball I'm sure the polity will be appreciative of whoever chooses to slam dunk this column. I know I want to be updated on every time Dalton gets injured in soccer, or what out-of-shape person vomited at the annual marathon, or how SJC fencing is doing. (Actually, forget about that last one. But the rest would be helpful to know). If sports doesn't make you want to bust out the quill and ink, what about a gossip column? I would write this column myself, but I'm too busy wallowing in solipsism and trivialities like beef jerky to undertake such a venture. There are so many juicy things about this painfully tiny school to be splashed about in a public forum. I want to know the good stuff: Drake Talley's many walks-of-shame, coke scandals, what new drug dealers are going to assault me outside my dorm room, the newest fanny pack to be sported by Joao, the tutor rumors that have grapevined over from the local restaurants, updates on when the civil unions of the bromantic senior class will take place (What about a quadruple wedding? It would be cute: Jack & Adam, Charlie & Ian, Oarke & Schuyler, Langer & J ace), the offensive meat-love oflv.fike ''The Hamburglar" LeBlanc, the terrible pseudo senior skit fake-out, freshman girls' wardrobe malfunctions, Donald Georgette's latest adventures in body piercing, and if anyone will ever be able to figure out whether AM is going with SP or N 0. The only problem with this type of column is the hate mail, but I'm firmly convinced after this weekend that you'll be able to settle any confrontation with a good old-fashioned pudding wrestle. Unless, of course, Puddin' is the one with the problem, because wrestling him would be animal cruelty. The Ga4f!y can also be an excellent place to let out all sorts of hatred. How many times have you sat in seminar and thought, ''This author has no idea what (s)he's talking about. I need to write an article about this to proclaim my superior opinion to the entire campus." Or how many times at New Year's have you thought, ''Boy, I would love to insult Pat Jones' latest version of the bowl-cut in the next Gadfly issue." If you actually write, these thoughts and dreams can become reality! It's too bad that the incredibly effervescent ellipticizing socialite Jen Wright will be gone next year, because this newspaper will be missing a lot of class. She would probably not give a diamond for intramural sports or intramural scandal, but at least she cares about society. I realize this godforsaken sailing town hardly counts for anything, but if a foodie reviewed local restaurants and bars I would try some of his / her recommendations. I don't understand how people can go to Harry Brown's every single night of the week and not get tired of it. A column about various tepid spots might help people to branch out. It doesn't even have to becsyt.Wecs Whats Up Annapolis, I promise. If food does not provide enough writing material, which I seriously doubt, there are always shows playing in D.C. and Baltimore you can notify people about or review. People like hearing about alternate activities to Reality parties (where Paul Thompson is screaming his running shorts off) or, say, seminar (where Paul Thompson is as quiet as a 9:00am Sunday rooming dining hall). Or you could write a column about current affairs, I guess. Regardless of whether you write for The Ga4f!y next year or not, I make no apology for this newspaper. I believe, however, a different gadfly once did make an Apology about something or other, and I will leave you with a quotation taken from the self-titled, eponymous Platonic dialogue of the same name, which I have cleverly taken from one of those cute quote-corralling websites with the animated clipart: ''In this way the god seems to have fastened me on the city, some such one who arousing and persuading and reproaching each one of you." We might not arouse, persuade, or reproach as well as the Socrates, but at least we try. So here's to writing, summer vacation, and franchised fast food restaurants. See you in August. . 7 THE GADFLY . . : ..... �Our First and Only Crossword Puzzle by Ashlee Turnbull '08 Across 1) Taste this, and you'll never leave the island 2) Animated hound, friend to Tom 3) Mustard seed, fire, peppers, sunlight 4) Wiped his ass with a goose 5) Solved the locus problem 6) The last one to the party 7) Unforgiving uncle 8) One foot after another, continuously falling 9) World's slowest weaver 10) Most famous for his role in a David Bowie movie 11) Cursed prophetess 12) Socrates blames his trial partly on this comedian 8 Down 1) Forced to spend eternity in piles of feces 2) Odysseus' partner in crime 3) Athenian general, famous historian 4) The Spartans sacrificed to him before battle 5) The good host, see 6 Across 6) His tale warns against kissing women with beards 7) Pa-pa-pa- (female) 8) Said to his brother, ''Let us go out to the field" 9) His original title was, "Following the Death of the Divine Augustus" 10) Odysseus chose to lose 6 men to her than his whole ship 11) If snow is white, her breasts are riding westward 12) Author of 11 Down 13) Caused Achilles to withdraw from the war 14) Calls Socrates a torpedo fish, remember? 15) Swollen foot, left behind THE GADFLY ... . . . ...... . . . . . . . . .. . .. .... . . .......... ·· · ·· ..... . �Thanks For a Great Year! As it is finalfy the end of the year and the end efThe Gadfly it is my greatest pleasure to thank all of those who have made thisyear possible. Gabrielle Aines Peter Axer Thomas Browning Matt Butler Melinda Carrera Brendan Clay Michael Comenetz Jake Crabbs Tim Creighton Rachel Davison Nora Edge Lucinda Edinberg Stacey Goguen Andrew Harrison Benjamin Ross Hoffman Susa...11 Holcomb Tiffany Kleinhans Tim.Jones Justin Lee Daniel Lewkow Patricia Locke Shunji Matsuzawa Barbara McClay Mark McClay David W..iranda Nate Okhuysen Hank Schley John Schuler Shant Shahrigian Dylan Sherry Rook Singer Erica Stratton Vincent Tavani Chris Thorn Rowenna Thorson As:bJee Tu,._rnbull Sophia Urusova }Jexandta Wa.llic"1.g Babak Zarin Edward Zelikow Thank you far putting yourselves out there. You bring life and variety to this little publication. To my regular columnists: Miss Wright, Miss Dodd, and Mr. Sale. As much as the world complains about what vou write. you are all bri.lliant to me. j , To the photographers: W.u. Saylor, lvliss Stratton, :Mr. Zarin. Thank you for capturing life here :in action. To the cartoonists: Miss Bartgis, M.r. Morrill, Miss Urusova, 1vfr. Clay, and the lovely, :incognito Miss Deaton. Thank you for sharing your artistic genius. To my editorial staff: M.r. Zari.."".t, Miss Shears, M.r. Thom, :W.11:. McClay and Miss Browni..ng. I would have gone crazy without you all. To the administration: Ms. Waters, Ms. Kronsberg, Mr. Dink. Thank you for dealing with ail my little day-to-day dramas. To my proofreaders: :Miss Thorson and Miss Rourke. Without you the world would be ridden with typos a...11d unchecked facts. And to Howard and Chris: 1bis would not have been possible without you. And to the rest of you: Thank you for your kind words and encourag=ent. Except for select members of the Delegate Council. : 9 THE GADFLY ....... . �Reality 2008 10 : ..... : .. THE GADFLY ................................................... . �Photos by Erica Stratton '08 . 11 ..................................................... THE GADFLY .. : ..... �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Dear Alizabeth: Being and Gone by Ali Schwab '08 and Elizabeth Burlington '08 DEARAliZABETH, Some senior read to me fromher Heidegger the other day, and it sounded like total nonsense. I'm really worried I won't be able to understand it next year. Can you give me some hints? Your Friend, The Jammin 'Junior ***** DearJammin', Certainly! Well, Heidegger is simply about this: the apprehension of being, which is defined as not just understanding it, but ''bringing it to a stand." Once being is at a stand, we can ask ourself how it "stands with being," when we have ''brought it to a stand," and ''brought our brains to a pudding." We can sniff around for Being, Being-Here, Being-There, and BeingNowhere-In-Particular, as long as we understand that Being has no smell. Apparently you can feel it though, by smacking it with your Dasein. I reco=end warming up by smacking that punching-bag in the gym, as long as you remember that it is not Being, but just a being. If you S!-D.acked Being with your Dasein, your Dasein would shatter like a crystal vase, which is why I reco=end warming up on beings. Smacking things with your Dasein qualifies as an enrichment activity, and relieves some of the stress of a 90page seminar reading that falls, on a difficulty scale, halfway between Wittgenstein and Hegel. If at some point you manage to apprehend the whatness of being, check it to make sure you haven't accidentally got the whateverness instead. Also, you're gonnaneed to get your hands on Heidegger's personal Greek lexicon to fully understand the way he translates Sophocles. Conventional translation from the Pol/a ta deina chorus: ''If he follows the laws of the earth and the gods' swom justice he is high in the city, but he is cast out from the 12 : city if he dwells with dishonor for the sake of daring." Heidegger's: "Rising high over the site, losing the site is he for whom what is not, is, always, for the sake of daring." Admittedly this is a translation of the German translation of the Greek, which makes it something like putting English into the ''Babel Fish" through Japanese and then Italian then back to English - only worse because this, folks, is the Heidegger Fish. But seriously, this is our last Dear Alizabeth, so I have to say something nice. I'm gonna miss you, St. John's College, and though I don't have the space, time, or spacetime to list all the people I love that I'm not going to see as often after graduation, rest assured that I really do love you guys, and will want to visit as often as possible. With that I declareitHug-ASeoior Day, because they really need it, and it looks like I'll have to sign off now. Give my regards to Dante. A Schwab ***** DearJ-J, Heidegger. Heidegger. Are you serioui? First of all, I don't understand why they took poor Ms. O'Connor off the Program and replaced it with this. ..thing. The closest I got to O'Connor this year was living vicariously through Ms. Aines, who wrote her senior essay on Ms. Flannery's short stories. Unfortunately her senior oral was a poor substitute for a real seminar, since I spent the whole time looking at the back ofMs. Kraus' head and avoiding eye contact with my ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend who was sitting across the room. I would have rather had a seminar, really. Somehow you managed to ask me about the one author that I am not an expert on. Okay, the general consensus is that I can pretty much understand everything any other Program author is saying. I owned Plato, breezed my way through Descartes, and just sat there with a self-satisfied smirk on my face while the other poor fools in my seminar tried helplessly to understand what Kant was saying. If you would have asked me about any of those people then I could have helped you. But Heidegger. You have found my Achilles Heel. So instead of talking about Heidegger I will make a list of things that I enjoy doing in my spare time. Watching historical dramas THE GADFLY···················································· Reading Esquire Not reading Heidegger Panicking Driving people away Writing self-centered articles Complaining Sleeping Listening to music from the SO's So there you have it. I hope you have all enjoyed reading the column as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I say well, fare thee well. The world may or may not be a better place without us. Just touch my cheek before you leave me, bay-bee, E. McDowell Burlington � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Burlington, Elizabeth (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXIX, Issue 19 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2008-05-09 Description An account of the resource Volume XXIX, Issue 19 of The Gadfly. Published May 9, 2008. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 29.19 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/85028d3f1a7df5c8de86a10f25673347.pdf ed1f7932c3ea61d7d0b5e51f82b4eabe PDF Text Text THE ~GADFLY The St. Johni College Student Weekfy Volume )()()(, Issue 1 Annapolis, Maryland September 5, 2008 I WAS ATTACHED TO THIS CI'TY by the god - though it seems a ridiculous thing to say - as upon a great and noble horse which was somewhat sluggish because of its size and needed to be stirred up by a kind of gadfly. It is to fulfill some such function that I believe the god has placed me in the city. I never cease to rouse each and every one of you, to persuade and reproach you all day long and everywhere I find myself in your company. - APOLOGY OF SOCRATES (30D) �THE ttrGADFLY LETTERS Letter from the Editor-in-Chief Editor-in-Chief Christopher Thom Managing Editor Babak Zarin Proofreader Ext:raordinaire Rowenna Thoi:son Staff Columnists Kii:stie Dodd Robert Sale Alexanill:a Wailing Contributing to this Issue Rachel Bartgis Crystal Oauson Stacey Goguen B:ryce Jacobsen Founded in 1980, The Gat!f!y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and sta..J'f of the Annapolis campus as well as tuton; emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole :responsibility of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent the opinions of The Gad.f!y staff. The Gat!f!y :reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-p:rnvoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words o:r fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted wJl be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most oases. The Ga4f!y is not obligated to publish all submissions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circums+..ances. Yearly subsc<iptiom are available for $30.00. Tax-deductible contnbutions are greatly appreciated. Please make checks payable to The Ga4f!y. The deadline for submissions is Satw:day before midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions can be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to gadfly@sjca.edu. 2 Dear Polity, Welcome back to another year at St. John's College. On behalf of the entire Gadfly staff I wish you good luck and a good year. If you're a veteran of the St. John's experience, you know that The Ga4f!y has historica:Jly been one large Opinions and Editorials paper with a bit of news thrown in. 'Ibis year we here at The Ga4f!y hope to change this image. "While we can't do away with the Opinions or Editorials, we can make them into a section filled with those rants, lectures, and advice columns the Polity has come to love and hate. Meanwhile, sports news and articles will be found in the Sports section, probably bringing up the rear, while poems, short stories, entertairuneatnews, and your favorite comics will wind up somewhere in between under ..A..rts and Arch ... Entertainment. The fust portion - hopefully the majorityof the paper will contain useful information and news. We're also looking to expand the news part. St. John's is a close-knit community, and the infamous St. John's bubble has its uses, but it really will not take that much effort to keep the Polity from being dangerously uninformed about the much larger communities to which we belong, namely Annapolis, the State ofMaryland (and New Mexico), the United States, and maybe Earth as well Oh and some of you who aren't into the Internet thmgmight also like to have weather. So next issue we'll put in an extended forecast from the N ati.onal Weather Service that reads something like this: "We're likely to see rainfall this weekend as t.h.e remna.."lts from tropical storm Hanna :are expected to track northeast after making landfall in the Carolinas, etc." We may even have~ graphic for that kind of thing soon, like a Hurricane with a sad-face or something. In addition, once The Gadfly is organized like a real paper, we're looking into spending the extra money to get it printed like one - in color. It wJl be expensive; so don't hold your breath. But while we're saving up money for printing we also have a simultaneous plan to save trees: The Ga4f!y is now offering email subscriptions to anyone interested. If you would like to sign up, send us an email from your school email address ·~rith the subject SlJBSCRIBE to g;;dfly@sjca.edu and you will automatically receive issues via PDF in your email every week. For every email of that type we receive, we will automatically subtract one issue from our printing total All in all this should be an exciting year, and as far as helping us is concerned: anythfilg you care to write about is worth printing. We can also use photographers, layout artists, and editors, so if you think you'd be interested, stop by The Gadfly office in the basement of the BBC Tuesday nights starting at 7pm, or shoot us an email. Thank you, and enjoy your year. '),...- THE GADFLY ......... ·················· ........ ·············· .. . THE\" GADFLYY Deadline: S aturdqys at 1¥1.idnight Weekfy Meetings :· Tuesdqys at 7:00 PA1 BBC 109 �Episode VI: Return of Dodd on the Quad by Kirstie Dodd '09 Staff Columnist After a sultry four months of evading summer Program reading and chart topping, ringtone-quality club hits by Rihanna, it feels good to be back in the protective bosom of esoteric academia. If you are new to the Annapolis campus, allow me to formally introduce you to The Ga4f!y, St. John's weekly student-run newspaper. These few pages oflowqualitypaper currently stretched between your hands act as the electrocardiogram of the polity, and though the occasional articleis D.O.A., most of the reporters on staff are committed to finding the quickest pulse on campus and getting it to you before it flatlines. As for ''Dodd on the Quad," this particular column and its authoress have no direct purpose in mind other than frivolous, Gonzo-gone-wrong commentary and the entertainment of the many at the cost of a poorly-concealed few (Translation: Comrade Sale is a slimy, spin-doctor denizen of the media world and reading his column of neoBolshevik propaganda is as opprobrious as liking Ayn Rand after eleventh grade). That said, I have compiled a few tasty morsels to whet your appetite for up- coming articles in this column. Here are some ideas I'm kicking around: Room Johnnies ...Exposed-. An intimate look at the palest demographic on campus and what they actual!J do in their dorm rooms for ten hours at a time. J.4e in the Death Box. It doesn't have waterboarding, but the computer lab comes pretty close to feeling like a t=orist holding cell at Guantanamo Bay. Read about one gitltumed-P. OW. and her epic battle against the late lab paper. Hail to the Chief. An article harping on the bad qualities of the newly inaugurated president (whichever gets elected) and why America is like the dowdy girl at the prom who went stag and now has to watch other countries glide along the marble balustrade of the world in cost-efficient, cheaplabor debutante dresses. Culinary Cage Fight: The Battle for Sushi Domination: Main Street isn't big enough for two rainbow rolls. It's time to settle the question once and for all: Joss or Nano? The Glories of Colonial Architecture-: A dry, heavy-handed piece about the nuances of this fascinating period in American housing. Friends Don}' Let Friends Date Midshipmen: Seriously. A WeU-DressedMan ir Hard to Find: Why any girl is attracted to a man in a suit, especially when that man is the dashing Thom Browne. Also, an in-depth look at William Walsh O'GradyJr, coffee shop legend, and that powder blue tuxedo/ruffle~ undershirt. The Fluid Chart. Does it exist? Should it? And other semi-ethical questions concerning our semi-incestuous make out grounds. What We Can Learn from Milry Cyrus: An article about oral hygiene and the prevention of receding gum lines, inspired by the pearly whites of America's newest ingenue-Lolita. Referencing the Program, Developing Socia/ Cues: A must-read for anyone visiting a family holiday party this year! Don't go Dodd coatiaued o.a pg. 5 20 Things I Wish I Was Told as a Freshman by Stacey Goguen '08 1) The dining hall food will only get worse. 2) You are no longer the weird kid who likes books. Everyone here likes books. (Well, Sara Max didn't, but she is her own kind of wonderful.) 3) You might not be able to win seminar, but you can most definitely lose it. If you mention Hitler, you lose seminar. 4) Leave your oversized vocabulary out of the classroom. You might know what "ontology" means, but if your fellow classmates don't, they won't appreciate your monologue on the subject. 5) Upperclassmen are not impressed by whatever obscure/popular/dead academic you have read. 6) Upperclassmen are not impressed by your SAT score. 7) It's okay to check your grades. The registrar won't look at you funny, I promise. 8) Paper advisors are a good idea, even for your freshman essay. This is because tutors are smart. 9) Taking a tutor to lunch is fun. This is because tutors are interesting. 10) Tutors are never in their offices. They are frequently in the coffee shop or fishbowl, though. This is because tutors are social animals. 11) Reality dues are not obligatory. That said, pay your reality dues. 12) You now live in a bubble of the timeless and timely. Don't expect Johnnies to know the latest about Britney, Fall Out Boy, Bush or any other celebrity or pop culture reference. Don't be surprised if a Johnnie dismisses current events as "trivial." 13) The security staff does not spend their days thinking up ways to get you in trouble. 14) You are not the first person to realize that BBC is a great place to study at night. 15) The Bookstore used to be a Gvil War morgue. The staff don't like it if you continually mention this to them. 16) They're called ''Middies", but not to their faces. 17) Do something productive with your summer. There are tons of summer internships available to college students, even freshmen. Also, the school has a competitive grant (the Hodson Trust) to fund unpaid internships in the US. 18) Sign up for the airport shuttles early. Taking the 6 am shuttle and waiting four hours for your flight is not the way you want to start vacation. If you can, find a friend to drive you. 19) Annapolis is not a cultural Mecca, unless your idea of culture is coffee, Navy memorabilia, and old people in bonnets. 20) D.C. has a lot of museums. FREE museums. . 3 THE GADFLY .. : .. . .. �Why Vote? by Alexandra Waiii.ag '10 St John's College is an American college. It is not a school only for American students, nor is it a school which engages only "With American ideas, books, or writers. St. John's is, however, a school on American soil, a school attended largely by American citizens, a school whose history and evoiution is rooted in American ideals. St.John's should inspire American students to question the nature of their rights and responsibilities as citizens. Among those rights is the vote. Many students at St. John's are probably already registered to vote, but not all who could be are, and not all of those registered will ultimately vote in November. This is a crying shame. Why do people who could vote abstain from voting? A few, perhaps, have formulated arguments for nonparticipating, claiming a lack of faith in representative democracy or an inability to vote for candidates who represent merely the lesser of two evils. Most students of St. John's, however, as "With the majority of .America's silent youth, do not vote either out of apathy or ignorance. In a literate polity such as that at St. John's, ignorance should present only a tempora..ry obstacle to the determ1ned. I "Wish to address the apathetic. St. John's College is not, and cannot be, an ivory tower in a corrupt world. Every member of this college is a citizen of the world, and thus both an influence on the world and in tum influenced by the world. We eat food prepared by salaried employees of the College, we sit in chairs manufactured amid the rolling hills of Vi!:ginia, and we read books, the continued publication of which depends on the American right of freedom of the press. W.cany of us receive financial aid in the form of federally-subsidized loans, or work jobs at which our employers are obligated to pay a minimum wage. Even while engaged in a quest for troth which transcends time and place, we cannot escape the present particulars of our life in Annapolis, Maryland. The United States presidential elections will affect the entire world. As chief influence on this nation's foreign policy, the next president will have the power to topple the governments of sovereign nations by :invasion; as employer of the various cabinet secretaries, the next President will shape the 4 : THE G.A..DFLY economies and environments of all countries "Which trade property, water and air. The vote is a grave responsibility. People the world over will live or die according to the manner in which the United States exercises its hegemony. The Vote is also a badge of honor: enfranchisement marks men and women as fit to participate in government as full members of their society: as free adults. AS students ofbooks and the balance, who aspire to free adulthood, we should remember those who have fought and died for liberty and its privileges. My great-grandmother was bom before American women had gained a political voice. African-American students and employees of this college undoubtedly have living relatives who can vividly recall their own disenfranchisement. The United States of American - and St. John's is an American school - was founded by men, some of whom we study, who were -willing to die in battle, or a traitor's death by hanging, because they could not elect representatives to Parliament. St. John's is an American school, and Jobnnies cannot escape the realities of the present world. Those who, out of apathy, choose not to exercise to vote choose tum their backs on their ancestors who struggled to be free, to ignore those whose ability to eat, to breathe clean air, to live in peace, or to throw off the chains of bigotry and oppression will be directly affected by the next President of the United States, and to discredit themselves as free adults worthy of their responsibilities. Such is my address to the apathetic. I also intend to battle ignorance in subsequent columns, employing less rhetoric and more fact. I hope to provide some basic information about the nature of elections and voting in the United States, along "With specific information about the various candidates and their platforms, and poorly-understood issues now under debate. I aim to do so "With as little partisanship as possible. 'While my convictions are strong, I firmly believe that the best political reporting strives for truth and accuracy above all else, trusting in the discernment of the citizeru:y. I seek to enquire as a Johnnie "With the determination and love of liberty of an American citizen, and I sincerely hope to inspire those members of the college who possess the franchise to exercise it well and soberly. ....-- to �Dodd co.ati.aued from pg. 3 armed with precious more than lame jokes about Xerxes and Greek paradigms; leam how to pepper your language with pop culture references to make yourselfblend in with normal society on winter vacation. I hope those article possibilities have titillated your interest. Heck, this year I might go crazy and throw in a few homespun poems or flash-fiction, maybe some interviews,muckrakingpieces, even sponsor a writing contest. If you hate my column, remember this: as long as I have fingers and junior year leaves some shred of my ·soul intact, I will write no matter what you say. No news is bad news, and good news doesn't exist unless it's written by someone with a high-paying desk job at The New York Times. I'm just trying to pad some grad school applications, people. So here's to another long year of provingyou're literat.e. Just thank God our seminar books don't read like an issue of The Gat!f!y. ...- Mere Sophistry In which recounts the amusing artifice and arrangement that has been devised for freeing our enamored youth from the harsh burden of dialectic by Robert Sak '09 GENTIE READER.: Without my swearing to it, you can believe that I would like this column, the child of my understanding, to be the most beautiful, most brilliant, and most truly educational column that anyone could imagine. But as past experience has shown, I have not been able to contravene the natural order; as anyone who has read their Plato and Aristotle knows, like begets like. Thus, what else could my youthful and poorly cultivated wits beget but the column which is wet behind the ears, presumptuous, capricious, and filled with inconstant ramblings never imagined by anyone else? (Which is just what one would expect of a column begotten at St. John's, where every awkward social interaction has its place and every pretentious douche makes his home.) Now a father may have a child who is ugly and lacking in all the graces, yet his love for his child will blindfold him to the defects; thus he will talk about them to his friends as if they were clever and witty. But though I seem to be the father of sophistry, I am its guardian; its father was a wise Athenian or Spartan many years ago, and it is my swom duty to protect and uphold it from any who wish to do it harm, be they legions of druid enchanters attacking in green waves or armies of sharks or hustlers ready to snatch it away at any time. Thus also I will not go along with the common custom and implore you, gentle reader, to forgive or ignore the faults you may find in this my child. For you are not its kin, you have a soul in your body and a will as free as anyone's, and you are in your own house, -where you are lord and master. This fact exempts and excuses you from all respect and obligation, and you can say anything you desire about this column without fear that you will be reviled for the bad things or rewarded for the good you might say about it. I wanted only to offer it to you plain and bare, unadomed by a needless introduction or an endless catalogue of explanations, familiarizations, slow beginnings, and awkward cliches that are usually placed at the commencementofaserializedcolumn.For although each article costs me quite a bit of effort to compose, none seemed more difficult than creating this most ancillary article which you are now reading. I picked up my proverbial pen many times to write it, and many times I set it back down again. It happened, though, that once, in the baffled state I had grown so accustomed to, staring at a clean white sheet of digital parchment, I tum.ed my attention to the copy of Don Quixote lying around my room. Upon rereading the incomparable Cervantes' prologue, I noticed that I, too, had been adrift in the same miasma as the peerless Spaniard was, in that Golden Age of novels. His situation, so dose to mine that, had they not been separated by over four hundred years, they could have been brothers, was resolved by a friend visiting his house and upbraiding him for not being able to come up with a prologue full of wit and invention, practically writing the prologue for Cervantes in his course of chastisement. Here, I thought, was what I needed: a push in the right direction, a friend to upbraid me and rejuvenate my creative juices, stewing so long in the pressure cooker of the New England summer that removal of the lid would be a dicey proposition at best. I sat there, waiting, assured that some good friend or well-meaning acquaintance would walk in the door, have a hearty laugh at my languor, and expertly unscrew the damps confining my pate, allowing me free reign to exercise my newly freed noodle to prepare a course fit for a king. No such friend came. There I sat, urging my mind to create, exhorting the door to open and reveal my salvation, importuning the book at my side to unlock from its depths its secret to good fortune in prologuecreation. I so cursed my fate at having been abandoned by my own wits, my visiting friends, and my resources that I shook the very earth to its core, -where three-headed Satan with his jaws agape let fall his famous traitors in anticipation of the new triumvirate which had betrayed me. Sophistry continued 011 pg. 8 . 5 THE GADFLY .. : ..... �\i I Map of Annapolis by Raebel Bartgis '09 This is by no means exhaustive. Do go off campus every once and a while- St. John's tends to be quite the bubble and Annapolis is a sickeningly quaint town well worth exploring: Coffee Shops 1. City Dock Coffee, 71 Maryland Ave. Free wireless. 6:30 AM-6:30 PM www.citydockcafe.com 2 City Dock Coffee, 18 Market Space. Free wireless. 6:30AM-10PM 3. Hard Bean Coffee & Booksellers, 36 Market Space. Free wireless. 6 AM-10 PM beansandbooks.com Ice Cream 4. Annapolis Ice Cream Co. 196 Main St. Delicious and interesting flavors, good prices. Penguins. Buy anything that has the word 'pie' in it. www.annapolisicecream.com 5. Storm Bros. Ice Cream Co. 130 Dock St. Good prices on cones. www.stormbros.com 6 6. Aromi D'Italia. 6 Dock St. Delicious gelatto and Italian pastries. In the winter be sure to try their Italian Hot Chocolate, made with rich dark chocolate. 13. Rite Aid. Open late. Liquor department also open late. 14. 7-11. Always open. Be safe and take a few friends ifyou go late at night. 10 minute walk. Churches 7. St. Anne's Episcopal Parish. Church Circle. 8 AM and 9:45 AM Sunday services. www.stannes-annapolis.org 8. St Mary's Roman Catholic Church. 111 Duke of Gloucester St. 7:00 AM, 8:30 AM, 9:00 AM, 10:30 AM, 12:30 PM, 5:30 PM Sunday masses. www.stmaryschurch.org 9. First Presbyterian (USA). 171 Duke of Gloucester St. 8:30 and 11 :00 am Sunday services. www.annapolis-presb_yterian.com 10. Calvary United Methodist Church. 301 Rowe Blvd. 9 AM Sunday service. www.calumc.org General/ Convenience 11. CVS. 123 Main Street. It's... uh... CVS. 12. Main Street Minim.art. 222 Main St. Pricey, but usually open later than CVS. THE GADFLY···················································· Lunch/ Quick Food 15. Potato Valley. 47 State Circle. If you ever thought baked potatoes were boring, think again. Slightly pricey, but tasty. www.potatovalley.net 16. Subway. 228 Main St. Sometimes a sub is a welcome respite from the dining hall. 17. Moe's. 122 Dock St. Chain, think Taco Bell with class. Decent prices. www.moes.com 18. Chick & Ruth's Delly. 165 Main St. Local greasy-spoon institution. Open to at least 11 :30 every night. Big milkshakes. Try the St. Johnnie Sandwich. www.chickandruths.com Restaurants �Map of Annapolis by Rachel Bartgis '09 (A very incomplete list-ask an upperclassman for additional advice) 19.Joss Sushi 195 Main St. The only place you'll ever need to go to in town for sushi. Delicious and affordable. www.josscafesushibar.com 20. Galway Bay. 63 Maryland Ave. Solid Irish food. Also has a nice bar with sea shanty nights. www.galway2006.com 21. Reynolds Tavern.. 7 Church Circle. They serve a delightful afternoon tea and lovely dinners. Try the cream of crab soup. www.reynoldstavem.org 22. Cafe N ormandie. 185 Main St. Excellent French cuisine. Have a half-price bottle of wine night. www.restaurant .com / microsite.asp?rid = 74647 23. Treaty of Paris. 16 Church Circle. Also excellent French cuisine. Very expensive. www.his toricinn sofannap ohs.com I treatyofparis.aspx 24. Yin Yankee. 105 Main St. Asian Fusion food. Great lunches . www.yi.nyankee.com / index2.html Supermarket 25. Graul's Groceries. A 10 minute walk across the College Creek Bridge. www.graulsmarket.com I default.aspx Bars 26. Harry Browne's. 66 State Circle. Oose, comfortable, Johnnie haven after seminars. 27. Ramshead. 33 West St. Great Happy Hour, nice beers on tap. Tasty root beer on tap if you want the happy hour food but are under 21. www.ramsheadtavern.com / annapolis Misc. 28. Admiral Cleaners. 10 Taylor Ave. Dry cleaning and tailoring within walking distance. www.admiralcleaners.com 29. Art Things Art Supply Inc. 2 Annapolis St. Fantastically stocked art supply store. Great selection of notebooks and sketchbooks as well Go visit] www.artthingsinc.com 30. Annebeth's. 75 Maryland Ave. A Johnnie institution. Fine wines and beers, cheeses, chocolates, gourmet sodas, and movie rental. You must visit. Open late! www.annebeths.com 31. Mills Fine Wine & Spirits. 87 Main St. An exhaustive selection of wines, liquors, and beers. www.millswine.com 32. The Annapolis Bookstore. 68 Maryland Ave. A magically comfortable store full of new and used books . www.annapolisbookstore.com 33. Hats in the Belfry. 103 Main St. Hats are awesome and sexy. Go buy one. www.hatsinthebelfu.com 34. Capital Teas. 6 Comhill St. They sell tea. www.capitalteas.com 35. 49 West. Coffee, dessert, and drinks. Pricey, but open after seminar. Forgot to add it under Restaurants. Not on the map: The Lutheran Mission Society. 230 West St. Small but nice thrift store that always seems to be having some kind of 25% off sale. Twenty minute walk. . 7 THE GADFLY .. : . .... �Sophistry continued from pg. 5 At length, however, my wits returned and the frozen beast at the center of Dis had to again content himself with the replaced disciple. I soon realized that I had no need of any of the things that typically belong in a preliminary column, because the entirety ofits subject is a diatribe against dialectic and a rhapsody on rhetoric and sophistry. I resolved then and there to dispense with all the aforementioned frivolities and fa~s, for there are no apologetic remarks to begin the discourses of Protagoras or the Philippics of Demosthenes; there are no preliminary pages of pure pap perpetrated on the peruser of Patrick Henry's philosophical musings; indeed, if anyone explains what they're doing beforehand, it's the dialecticians: Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Euclid, and so on. And since this column intends only to undermine the authority and wide acceptance that books of dialectic have in the world and among the public, there is no reason for me to make a mockery of mine own art by conforming it to the standards set by sheep who see no other method for making things clear. All I need to do in my column is to strive to make my sentences and phrases as pleasing .and palatable as posstble and have them portray my intention, making my ideas cogentwithout complicating or obscuring them. All my column really needs to achieve is to move the melancholy to laughter, not irritate the simple, fill the clever with admiration for its invention, not give the serious reason to scom it, and allow the prudent to praise it. In short, all I have to do is keep my eye on the goal of demolishing the illfounded apparatus of dialectic, despised by many and praised by so many more, and I will have accomplished my task, introduction or no introduction. My own wit succored me in this realization, and for that I am grateful. I do not endeavor to lay blame or pass judgment on those who need help, however substantial, from peers or resources: I will save that for the column of calumny composed by Miss Kirstie Dodd. As for myself, I feel freed from the burden of introducing myself and my ward, sophistry, to you, gentle reader. May it please you as much as it has pleased me. ....- Freshmen Bodies, Freshmen Souls by Byra: Jacobsen. ,42 [This reprinted article first appeared in The Gadfly on September 9, 1982. It was re-submitted l!J our cu~nt athletic director, Leo Pickens. We re sure Mr. Pickens would be willing to stand in for Mr. Jacobsm as the first person voice 11Sed in this article and would tmSWer a'!Y questions thatyou might have abom the athleticprogram.- Ed.] THE REASONS, BOTH PHYSICAL and metaphysical, why everyone ought to become in our sports program are many. I list a few: 1. We have the best athletic program of any college in the country. 2. Exercise is good for the body... unless you sprain an ankle, or something like that. 3. Most of us feel better, are more alert, and can get more work done if our bodies are healthy and our souls are relaxed. 4. Friendly competition is one of the really fun things in life. It is good for your soul. 5. Your circle of acquaintances will be greatly enlarged. This is good for the soul, provided you can separate the wheat from the chaff. 6. Youwilllearn to accept, and bearwith, thousands of split-second decisions from the officials, a few of which are wrong. This is very good for the soul 7. Do you like to strive for, and achieve, specific goals? If so, consider our college blazers. They are much sought after, and the pathway is clearly laid out. Striving for goals is good for yow: soul. Souls continued on next page 8 THE GADFLY �Souls continued from next page 8. It is probably true that the more pure fun occurs in the athletic program than in any other area of the college. Fun is good for your soul. 9. If you get involved in team sports, and become a "good team player," you have realized that there are things in the universe that are more important than your own ego. This is a great good for your soul. 10. The benefits of exercise and friendly competition, learned while one is young, should be maintained for the rest of your life .. .i.e., they should become habitual. For virtue, as the Philosopher said, is a habit. 12. Our showers are the best at the college; always plenty ofhotwater. get yourself in tip-top physical shape, without any equipment at all. 13 . .f....re you bothered by, or worried by, tobacco fumes in the air? Come to the gym. The whole building is a nicotine-free zone. 18. You can sit in an old-time barber's chair in my office ... you can pump yourself up or down, and adjust the slope high or low. "Where else can you do that? 14. If you perform some sort of heroic deed on the athletic field, your name will be mentioned in our weekly column. Heroes are always acclaimed. But do not be carried away by this. Remember that "the paths of glory lead but to the grave." 19. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. 20. It is better to light a candle, then to curse the darkness. 15. A high percentage of our best students are active participants in our program. So there you have it ... twenty good reasons why you should participate in om athletic program. Ifyou are not convinced by all of this, come and talk to me ... I can probably think of some more good reasons. Or better yet, talk with the upperclassmen. They will tell you all sorts of strange, interesting, and wondrous thin.gs. 16. Those who play, stay. 11. You will get to know numerous alumni, tutors, and staff members who participate in the program. This is good for your soul, or ought to be ... provided that they are the proper sort of role models. 17. The gym is not particularly well equipped, as gyms go. But it has washers and dryers, and a coke machine...and I will explain to you, if you ask me, how you can Poetry Corner Bandwith Budgeting A Brief List of Helpful Tricks to Keep Your Net Running Smooth by William Kunkel '11 Many of you may have noticed that the internet here isn't actually a "super-highway" but rather a tiny back-country road. _And your brand-new computer doesn't move like a Ferrari online, but more like an Amish buggy. So, here are a few tips to get the most mileage out of that buggy: 1. Use a browser with as few extras as possible. If you use Firefox and have tons of extensions, tum as many of them off as you can live with, or, if you don't want to use Firefox without all the extra features, try using Safari or an equivalent light-weight browser. 2. "When you're downloading, don't do anyfi1ing else. It sounds simple, but it really does improve your speed to do only one thing at a time. If you've got multiple downloads, do your homework, wait for one to finish, then start the next. 3. Set the biggest of your downloads to go overnight. You have to sleep, your computer doesn't. Make use of the time overnight to let the biggest of your downloads run. This aiso applies to other thi..'lgs when Day Night you'll be out of your room for an extended time, like meals, class, and especially seminar. 4. Only download 'll'lhat you have to. Let's face it, we're in an environmentwhere someone probably has the movie that you wanted to rent off of iTunes or the CD or whatever it is that you want. Ask around before you spend a week downloading Bioshock off of Steam and your roommate goes, "oh yeah, I've got that, sorry". Even ·with all of these tips, it will still take longer than you're used to to get what you want if you've got broadband of some kind at home. So sit back, set those downloads going, and crack open your seminar reading. That's what you're here for, isn't it? If you look over these tips and find that you're still crawling along, or have any issues at all with your computer, don't be afraid to ask IT assistants for help, or you can e-mail me at William.Kunkel@sjca.edu and I'll cit.lier write back to you or answer your question in the next edition of the Gadfi; by Crystal Clauson '12 At night the dreams come as dear as day. They mirror whaf s inside of me. -The path that lies a.."liead. l I 1:"he vivid images with their subtle signs. They tell me what to do and who to i be. j -The path that lies ahead. Over the horizon the sun comes. She pleads to be heard over my 1 I I. dreams. I burrow in~y cocoon of happiness. 'Ir" . 9 THE GADFLY .. : ..... �Convocato est Images of Convocation, with excerpts from President Christopher Nelson's Speech, "The Republic of St. John's" Photographer. Bobak Zarin, '11 "Welcome to St. John's College. A warm welcome to our entering freshmen and their families and friends! Welcome back to our returning students, faculty and staff!" 10 : ..... : .. THE GADFLY ................................................... . "We, like Glaucon and Adeimantus, find ourselves being initiated into the one republic that Socrates · and his friends have succeeded in realizing. At St. John's, we call this republic our community of learning." �Convocato est Images of Convocation, with excerpts from President Christopher Nelson's Speech, "The Republic of St. John's" "We find our truest sense of community in an image of human freedom that finds us somehow 'together' seeking to escape the confines of the individual caves that imprison each of us." "We make this search .for truth, this struggle to climb out of our caves, our chief community endeavor." "We are happy to call you ours today, and to welcome you to our community of learning." . 11 ..................................................... THE GADFLY .. : ..... �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, J\ID 21404 Preparing for Spontaneity by William Braithwaite, Tutor rm°%lttrJJ£r <· '' (E.ditor's Note: By cu.rtom, at the beginning of each Spring's sports season, a Tutor or some other member of the Cofl11J'JUni'(y delivers the annua/Temple Iglehart Ler:tu~ 'On the Bot!J." This is last Spring's.) All of us, probably, have seen such happenings, I hope. Let me descnbe one that I saw right here, in this place, where now; very nearly at Equinox, we have gathered for the College's brief, annual celebration of the beginning of our Spring sports season. I t was basketba11 Like football, it is a game of territory: each team defends its goal, or basket, while the other tries to invade the defended territory and to score there. Scoring means that offense has overcome defense, and the points awarded are the prize for temporary capture of the latter's territory. Just over there, in the East-Southeast corner of the gym, Mary Davenport, '06, very near the side-line, caught a cross-court pass from a teammate. In the instant of making the catch, she was simultaneously gauging whether she herself had a clear shot (she didn't), and looking for a team-mate who might have (there was none in her range of vision). And because her mind and body were each making several motions at once, she was also falling to her knees, but was keeping possession. Behind her, a voice--clear, firm, not loud, self-confident-a voice said, "Mar, behind!" On her knees, not turning around to look, she made a two-handed toss over her head to a teammate who caught and jumped and shot in one single graceful flowing motion that continued with the ball's upward parabolic arc and its downward whisper through the net. The throw; the catch, the shot, the arc up and the fall, seemed like one. It was lovely. It was exhilarating. To see it was to be glad to be alive. This whole moment, and the motion that happened within and throughout its dura- 12 : THE GADFLY tion, I have come now to see, retrospectively, as a living refutation of Zeno's paradoxes-a here, a now; not of rest and .rtasi.r, but of an instantaneous cascading overflow of vitality andJoie de vim, bom out of two players each being ready for a moment when that moment came that they should dance as one. Can such moments be prepared for? Can we prepare for the serenclipitous? Can we cultivate spontaneity, or at least a readiness for it, a receptivity? If so, how? My experience as a long-distance runner, and my observation of other sports, suggest to me that the discipline of play can be a preparation for being spontaneous. W'hen the old philosopher Parmenides is described as a race-horse that has lost the desire to run, it seems sad. We wonder, what happened? Did his body decay, and with it, his eros for knowing? Or is such a loss better understood as a decay of spirit? On the last day ofhis life, the spectacularly erotic Socrates, a man whom neither battle nor conversation nor wine could fatigue, seems srill full of desire to run. W'hat preserves and nurtures Spirit? By what food is it nourished and vitalized? W'hen it is unwell, what is its medicine? W'hat does Spirit yeam for, look up to? To prepare to be spontaneous seems like a paradox. Preparation requires discipline and training, wbil.e spontaneityis uncaused cause. But is there no account we can give that might point a way to get ready, so that someday, if our chance comes, we will be able to act fitly and well without dehberation? Might preparation for spontaneity be like getting ready to have a serious conversation about a difficult and important book? May you have in play tonight, and always, as much strength and skill, beauty and excellence, as your soul can carry with grace--enough to be ready when the moment calls. . " ' >. k'.'. ·.• ,, •. ,,., . .t,optintoti lasf/week ~ec~se ~'the ~~g server transikonin the BBC. Jfrith.if.ny luck, these iSsues £i11.feresqlveJ }n .Ji~efa~-~s to pft~t t11i sc1!~41!Je '.; .'"":,'-.. '' . \f</ ~ Fti~~" . ,·. • / . -._,,~.' � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thorn, Christopher (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXX, Issue 1 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2008-09-05 Description An account of the resource Volume XXX, Issue 1 of The Gadfly. Published September 5, 2008. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 30.1 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/10665a6c472bf7493cf146b6fa689053.pdf 4caa367d6abe65e2b732a077eff5b235 PDF Text Text ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE LIBRARY 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11111~11nm~1111~~11m1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 ._f~··H E GADFLY The St. John} College Student Weekfy Volume XXX, Issue 2 Annapolis, Maryland September 12, 2008 International Johnnies lry Crystal Clawson, '12 At St. John's we attract people from far across America and the world. As the new cultural writer I hope to bring the world (everything outside the United States) a little closer to our minds and hearts. To acquaint the upperclassmen and new freshmen class with these foreign Johnnies I tracked them down and asked them some questions about their homes, their cultures and what makes them happy. The first foreign students I interviewed for this series were Shiksya Adikari of N epal and Natalija Dobrovic of Montenegro. These are some of the things I found out about them and their cultures. DATE DUE Shikshya Adhikari hails from ••. N epal, specifically Kathmandu. The Plague Returns CVS has seen an increase in Johnnies seeking medication over the last couple of days, heralding the inevitable arrival of the Johnny Plague. If you are unfamiliar with this expression, it is the term commonly used to refer to the after-break rash of illnesses experienced by the Polity. This outbreak of illness is a fact of life we all have to live with, and while no medical professionals were available for comment on such short notice there are a number of places to find these medical professionals in and around town. My personal favorite for standard Plague symptoms is Nighttime Pediatrics - don't let the name fool you, they take care of adults too. Located four miles from campus on General's Highway, their hours are 5 p.m. to Midnight, Monday through Friday, Noon to Midnight Saturday, and 11 :00 a.m. to Midnight on Sundays and Holidays. To get there, jump on Bestgate Rd. (the main route out of town) and stay there until you reach the light at General's Highway. Make a left onto General's and immediately look for Nighttime on the right. Their wait is just as bad as the SJC Nurse and the ER if you are a walk-in, but appointment waits are much faster and can be obtained by phone as early as 9am by dialing 410-2246483. They have a decent array of medical equipment, including x-rays in case you break something minor or have pneumonia. Your 24-hour choice for medical care is the Anne Arundel Medical center. They are in the midst of a transition to a brand new ER, so their wait will be horrible for the most part until that move is finalized. Otherwise, the hospital has a very good reputation and is partnered with John's Hopkins and UMD (the places they send you if you're about to die from shock). Plague continued on page 4 How did you get here? Nepal does not offer many Liberal Arts Schools so America was her next choice. St. John's not only offered Liberal Arts education but also a wider range than others in the world. Her main desire was to get a degree in Liberal Arts. What are some distinguishing qualities of your culture? Religion, family and extended families are very important to the N epalese. Even though there are differences throughout the regions of Nepal, it still manages to remain unified in its diversity. What defines the people of Nepal most is where they are from within the country; whether it be the mountainous, hilly or plain. Shikshya is from the the mountainous region, specifically Kathmandu. How did you find out about St. John's? Friend: Do you like to read? Students continued on page 3 �the ~GADFLY I Campus Infortnation SCI Minutes Editor-in-Chief Christopher Thorn September 4, 2008 People Present Pavlas Papadopoulos, Clint Richardson, Joao Santa-Rita, Tyler Fanning, :M1ke O'brien, Jacob Greenstein, Katie SwansOll, Charlie Salem, Sophie Michelewicz, Megan Field Managing Editor Babak Zarin Layout Editor Michael Stinnett Proofreader Extraordinaire Rowenna Thorson Topics Discussed: -Upcommg elections (Sept. 10) -Shakespeare in the Fall, Women in the Wro.ter, Plato in the Springtime -Goals for the upcoming year: specific, published topics for meetings, improved communication between students, student committee on instruction, and instruction committee Cartoonist Anna Perry Staff Colwnnists Crystal Clawson Kirstie Dodd William Kunkel Robert Sale .Alexandra Walling Next Meeting: Sept 11, lunch, Private Dining Room Contributing to this Issue Rachel Bartgis Chloe Ginsburg Founded in 1980, The Gat!f!y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visitors and Gov=rn:s, a."1d the offices at the St John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within a:re I the the sole :responsibility of the author(s) ~d do not necessarily :represent the opl!llons of The GadfJy staff. The Gat!f!y :reserves the right to accept, I :reiect, and edit submissions ffi any way necessa..7 I publish the most thoughtful, informative, and 1 thought-provoking newspaper which ci:rcurr:stances at St. John's permit Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than j this limit Letters submitted w.Jl be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. . The Gat!f!y is not obligated to publish all submis-1 sions and will not print anonymous submissions except under special circumstances. Yearly sub- 1 scriptions are available for $30.00. Tax-deduct- 1 ible contributions a:re greatly appreciated. Please make checks payable to The Ga4f!y. The deadline for submissions is Saturday before midnight, unless permission foz a delay is granted in advance. Submissions can be accepted as long as they a:re legibly writt=, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to gadfly@sjca.edu. I I t; I The Gacif!y B.am.es,Jamaal Blechl,John Butler, N...atfuewD:ixon, Elsa.be Dodd, Kirstie Dombergei:,John Kunkel, William Lobo Dias, Dalton Luzier, Gabri.el Maher, David McGivney, Brendan Rieder, Patrick Rothenberg, Molly Stocklin,Jennifer Thompson, Paul Walsh, Carolyn Welsh, John Simmons, David (Cole) Connelly, Dan V=Hoose, Hannah Crabbs, John Campbdl Gilliam Of£ Campus Off Campus Paca~CarOil Chase~Stone Campbell Pinkney - Meeting called to order at 12:00 p.m., Wednesday 10 September. - Elections for representatives to the Student Committee on Instruction. - Senior Candidates: J'vfr. Joao Sama-Rita and M...r. Drake Talley; the candidates answer questions from the Delegates. - Junior Candidates: :Mi.Jacob Greenstein, N...s. Caiiy Swanson and J'vfr. Charles Sal=.; the candidates answer questions from the Delegates. Paca~Caroll Spector Randall Off Campus Off Campus Off Campus Humphreys Gilliam President Treasurer Secretruy Poliiy Attorney THE G~ADFLY De.adline: Saturdqys at lvlidnight Weekfy 1\1.eetings ~· Tuesdqys at 7.·00 PAI - Sophomore Candidates: Ms. Sophie Michelewicz and J'vfr. Michael O'Brien; the candidates answer questions from the Delegates. BBC 109 - Iv'lI. Santa-Rita and Mr. Talley are elected as representatives for the Senior Class, Mr. Greenstein and Ms. Swanson elected for the Junior Class, and Ms. JVfichelewicz and J'vfr. O'Brien elected for the Sophomore Class. Save monry .and trees) Subscribe to the email Gatif!y todqy! (Write Subscribe to gac!ffy@!Jca.edu) - Elections for student representatives to the Board of Visitors and Gov=o:rs postponed untilnextweek due to lack of advertismg. - Meeting adjoumed at 12:25 p.m. ·. Pinkney DC Minutes Grant Kuning 2 Delegate Council Members: Fall 2008 �Students continued from front page What's your favorite color? Blue Favorite food? Rice Cooker rice, dal ( a pasty dish made from beans, Dal derives from the Sanskrit meaning to spit), Rori (an unleavened bread), curd (cheese), pickle veggies and curry. Favorite books? Pride and Prejudice, A Walk to Remember, Memoirs of a Geisha, Harry Potter, The DaVinci Code, Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl, The Royal Ghosts. Words of Wisdom: Miracles, in the sense of phenomena we cannot explain, surround us on every hand: life itself is the miracle of miracles. Natalija Dobrovic hails from .•. Montenegro How did you get here? Education for oneself. She feels it is her responsibility to herself. What are some distinguishing qualities of your culture? (Natalija found this a difficult question). Montenegro is an honor based society - a traditional patriarchal society i.e. not democratic. She could sum it up in no better way. How did you find out about St. John's? Natalija was going to an international boarding school in Wales, St. John's presented their students. Because N atalija went to an international school it also gave her a strong sense of internationalism which also attracted her to St. John's. What's your favorite color? Red. She misses Britain a lot. Favorite food? Sanna. Sarma is meat wrapped in pickled cabbage. She also enjoys fish and pork. Favorite books? Shakespeare, "I do appreciate English Literature more and more everyday." Tedious Russian literature. Tol.rtf!Y and Humiliated and Defeated by Dostoevsky. Words of wisdom: Don't take yourself too seriously. ~ Privacy or Privateering: Truth by a Flickering, Slow Llght ry William Kunke~ '11 One of the common issues that faces college students in the modem world is the issue of what is and isn't legal on the high seas of the open web. The MPAA and RIAA, or the Motion Picture Association and the Recording Industry Association of America, are cracking down on illegal downloads. Hit hardest by this are websites that provide the means to obtain these illegal files, sites such as Demonoid and The Pirate Bay. However, these organizations are also targeting your average pirate, the individual, and attempting to send a message of fear to the community as a whole. However, it is important to realize that not all copying of these digital files is Illegal. Under section 117 of US copyright law, you can make one backup or archival copy of any program or file on your computer as long as you own the original file in a legal manner. So, for instance, if you own a copy of a movie on DVD or VHS at home and don't want to lug the whole stack of movies, the DVD / VHS player, and a TV to schoo~ it is perfectly legal to use a device to transfer those movies to a hard-drive, or to use a program such as DVD shrink or Handbrake to make an archival copy of a DVD either in part or in whole to bring with you. The problem with this is that if you travel out of the country, U.S. customs is now beginning to check laptops, iPods, and harddisks for illegal material, and while it is totally legal to make an archival copy, it is often impossible to determine if a file is a legitimate backup or a copy that you downloaded off of the internet. Keep this in mind if traveling abroad with a hard-drive containing 300 movies and a copy of every episode ever ofM.A.S.H. in order to save the space in your suitcase. It's important to note that you should be very well versed in copyright law before you begin backing up your files, as the fines for piracy can actually exceed your total tuition for college, and we would So hate to lose anymore members of our polity. As always, feel free to send any questions to me at Wtlliam.Kunkel@sjca.edu. Also, you can usually find me online using Bonjour as Bill Kunkel If you have a question that i can't answer right away, chances are that I may put it in next week's article. Until then, have fun, and don't tip the boat on the rough seas of the web. ~ A Reminder from the Waltz Committee ry Kieran Dowt!J, '09 At the Convocation Waltz, some of you may have been surprised when you were asked by a student to take your beer outside. This is because Public Safety (formerly known as Security) rightfully reminded us that it's college policy not to allow outside alcohol into any party, regardless of whether alcohol is being served. The relevant policy can be found in full de~ for those interested, on pg. 34 of the student handbook, under the heading "Alcohol at Student Events", third paragraph. But the basic policy is very clear: "No one may bring any other alcohol into the party." The host of the party (for Waltz Parties, myself and the other waltz archons) are responWaltz Reminder continued on next page The Ga4f!y 3 �Waltz Reminder continuedfrom previous page sible for upholcling this rule, and we do make every effort to ask people to take their alcoholic drinks outside. However, I would like to appeal to the community to help us, both by not bringing outside alcohol in, and asking people Vth> do !D to tcke thBr Oliside JJ ..Peo,tJ/e continue to bring outside alcohol to a.Par!J. an aoohol q_fficer or senior resident can shut the part; down which isn't fun for anyone. We'll post fliers on the doors to help remind you in the future. So, if you see someone with a beer (or something else alcoholic) at a party, just ask them to take their drink outside. If there's a problem, find a party host (if it's a waltz party, find meI'm always around) so he/ she can take care of it and keep the fun going. And, while I've focused on Waltz Parties, these rules do apply to Reality parties as well, so bear that in mind. If you're concerned that you'll never get to enjoy a drink at a party, don't worry. We will be making more of an effort to serve champagne from time to time during the year to provide a few elegant evenings of refreshment and dancing. And all the seriousness aside, I'm looking forward to a great year of parties, both Waltz Parties and Reality Parties, and I hope everyone else is too. See you there. Letters Response to "Editor's Letter'' from Last Issue "-!J John Dusenbury, '11 Hey, if you guys really cared about the environment, maybe you'd think about the costs of printing in color. Maybe you'd realize that the funds you want to use for color could be better spent buying carbon offsets. Or maybe you want to print less issues of the Gadfly not because you want to be environmentally friendly, but because it will cut costs, so that you can print in color. I guess it's the dream of every editor to tum the publication with which they are entrusted into a "real paper." But by golly, I think the Gadfly already is a "real paper'' - is "organized like a real paper'' - and its current lack of color is only a superficial issue. Focus on content. Focus on figuring out who's going to fill the fabulously haute shoes ofJ ennifer Wright. My money's on Sale. Plague continued from front page The hospital is three and a half miles from campus, and can be reached in much the same way: head west on Bestgate andmake the left ilMediwPaikway.ConfuueonMediw~til you reach Jennifer Rd. where you'll make another left, and then make the first left off of Jennifer into the Medical Center. Kieran Dowdy On behalf of the Waltz Committee Weather Fridtfy 77, 40% chance of thunderstorms. Low 69, 50% chance of thunderstorms Saturdtfy 87, 30% chance of thunderstorms. Low 71, mo:re storms possible. Sundtfy 88, cloudy. Low 68, still cloudy. Mondtfy 80, 30% chance of thunderstorms. Low 58, mostly cloudy. ,,_, T.ues-J 75, cloudy. Low 56, clearing in the . everung. The ER is the first builcling on the right, park in the garage on your left. Unless you can't walk for some reason, in which case this is the place your friends can find you after Emergency Services drop you off. The phone number is irrelevant, since they can't legally tell you how long the wait will be and can't take appointments. An Urgent Care clinic can be found at 193 Green Street downtown, and is open 9 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. seven days a week. Though you can walk the half a mile to the comer of Main St. and Green St. without much difficulty, the clinic does not accept co-pay, so you'llhave to shell out the cash for your bill ~til you are reimbursed by your insurance - if your insurance does that. If you'd like to ask them if this policy has changed, theirnumberis 410-268-3627. Also, Wednesdtfy 76, sunny. Low 59, partly cloudy. Thursdtfy Sunny and 78. Enjoy. 4 The Gadf!y don't forget our School Nurse, available on campus 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. every weekday except Tuesday (on which day the hours are Noon to 6:30 p.m.), free of charge, regardless of your insurance policy.~ Editors' reponse: Sadly, you are correct in assuming that The Gadfly has jumped on the green-marketing bandwagon. Fortunately though, we mean it. Asking for an email of the Gadfly will actually reduce our printing, and save us money simultaneously, so thatwe can afford to do other green things like print on recycled newsprint. We have to disagree with your assertion that we think that printing in color will automatically make us a "real paper''. Content is and always will be our focus, but it's a difficult focus, since we have to rely on Johnnies to provide it, most of which are unreliable at best (with the exception of our dedicated columnists and editors). Really, this year, our priorities are: informationoriented content, discussion-based content, consistency with regard to formatting, and organization. Anything else we are able to achieve will be a bonus, of which color shall assuredly be the last. Also, we humbly suggest you hide from Ms. Dodd for a while. Opinion Dodd on the Quad: Hipsterphobia "-!J Kirstie Dodd, '10 Staff Columnist A few nights ago I woke up from the most terrifying nightmare of my life. It was the morning after S&C and I got up early to get a latte from City Dock on Maryland Ave. Picking my way through the detritus of beer cans and what was remaining of Pentheus' tom body, I walked down the brick pathway in front of McDowell and crossed over to Prince George St. I was lost in my thoughts, trying to erase all of those ghastly, ineffaceable images of whipped creamwielding, boozy-eyed Johnnies looking for freshmen to suckface. Midway through the REM cycle, I turned the corner onto Maryland Ave. Something flew around the comer straight into my intended path, something so horrible, so demented it would take Kurtz' breath away: a hipster on a bicycle. Usually I can handle hipsters when they are on foot, because I easily can turn a brandneutral heel and run the other direction. But a hlpster on a banana-seat bicycle with Trader Joe's reusable canvas bags in the basket, wearing Ray Bans and a shoulder bag, and Dodd continued on next page �Dodd continuedfrom previous page pedaling the life out of his rolled-up jeans? Noway. I tried to yell at this societal hemorrhoid to stop before he hit me, but the shock stole my voice away. I swooned and collapsed on the pavement. He popped a wheelie over my body, and with a brusque, "Sorry, kid," he swerved down the sidewalk, his Ipod Touch earbuds shoveling enough decibels of indie music down his cochlea to mask the sound of my prostrate moans. I woke. up in a somewhat cliched, but apropos, cold sweat. Once my heart beat slowed to resting rate, it was then that I realized the ugly truth: I am a shameful, almost vulgar ... hipsterphobic. Hipsterphobia, like many other forms of bigotry, springs from a place of ignorance. No one person knows the entirety of hipsterdom. What we do know is the transamerican term "Hipster" came from the early 40's to describe someone ''hip," and ran through the sieve of the Beat writers in the SO's to set it on the path of eternal mutation. At the core of the movement resides a vanguard of anti.establishment, well-educated twenty and thirty somethings whose outward appearances and musical tastes and restaurant choices reflect either general discontent with the tastes of normal people or are imbued with a deep sense of irony. Despite this common thread, there are innumerable variants of the strain because of geographical location and individual consumer choices. In fact, many "real hipsters" eschew the moniker in favor of ''hipper" names, or convince others they transcend social classification altogether. Because of hipster in-fighting over things like bands and clothes and how to mask effectively their privileged upbringings, it makes it nigh impossible to wage a War against Cultural Terror on the group. Hence, examples of hipsterphobia range from mocking, soi-disant ''hipster handbooks" (re: A Field Guide to the Urban Hipster) to the shocking like www.diehipster.com. I recognize that my hipsterphobia is becoming a problem. I shudder at the thought of record labels like Smells like Records or Matador or Arts and Crafts, or terry cloth headbands from "vintage clothing stores" (which usually means it was bought at American Apparel in secret), the idea of veganism, ''PoMo," and geometric, Mullet-y haircuts. It could be I'm just shuddering at my unhip self. The idea of an existent coolerthan-thou is crushing. For my hipsterphobia to get better, and for my nightmares to cease, I need to channel my hatred into understanding. If anyone could tell me how to do that without spending money, it would be much appreciated, because I don't have enough dough to waste on organic water or cover charges, and a crippling bout with Restless Leg Syndrome bars me from spending hours poring over album release dates in my iTunes library. Politics as Usual: Political Conventions i?Ji Alexandra Walling, '10 Why Political Conventions? As some students of St. John's may be aware, however dimly, in recent weeks both of the major American parties have had their nominating conventions, in which presumptive nominees Barack Obama and John McCain officially accepted the nomination for presidency from the Democratic and Republican parties respectively. The convention is a peculiar spectacle, both a remnant of an old political form and a quintessentially modem American media circus. Nominating conventions arose in the nineteenth century as a method of selecting one official candidate for each party, agreeable to all the party bosses, not simply members of con- gress. Since the nineteenth century, this particular political process, once the sole province of the Anti-Masonic Party, has become an American institution, govemed by campaign-finance reforms and attended by millions. For much of the American nominating convention's history, the nominating process was hardly democratic - backroom negotiations for the votes of party delegates were the norm, and delegates were free to vote by their own conscience or for their own interests, not obliged to represent the will of their constituents. Multiple ballots were often required before a single nominee, supported by the majority of delegates, arose. Outside of a few states in the West, the primary was not a major part of the process to select presidential nominees. 1bis changed in the middle of the twentieth century, as ordinary voters and members of political parties became more and more frustrated with their inability to choose the presidential nominees of their various parties. In 1968, the unpopular Hubert Humphrey, Vice President to Lyndon B. Johnson, clinched the Democratic nomination, despite widespread support for Eugene McCarthy among Vietnam-Warprotestors and other members of the left. Rioting at the site of the convention led Democratic party bosses to choose the representational primary system which is in place today as the new method of selecting nominees for the Presidency, and since then the various delegates have had their votes determined for them in state primaries. The Republican Party adopted a similar plan shortly afterward, with the same basic effect on the nominating convention. In 2008, as in the past several decades, the presidential nominating conventions of both the Democratic and the Republican parties have served as coronations and spectacles, as political rallies in support of a pre-determined party platform, as an exercise in rhetoric and media showmanship, and as an opportunity to expose the American public to the parties candidates' and their proposals for the future. During the day, minor party officials spoke to smaller crowds, and during the night, major party leaders and party celebrities (the spouse of the presidential nominees, for instance) speak to thousands of roaring spectators in packed amphitheaters as millions of Americans watch on television. The Democratic National Convention occurred first, from August 25 through August 28 (a bad time for J obnnies to tune in, I must admit). Barack Obama's speech, upon accepting the nomination for Presidency, was mostly pro- Politics continued on next page The Ga4f!y 5 �Politics continuedfrom previous page saic: he outlined many of the same policies he'd declared his support for previously, used many of the same rhetorical hooks, and said little he had not said before about withdrawing troops from Iraq, providing universal access to health insurance, or subsidizing American companies which kept jobs on U.S. soil His most interesting theme was that of responstbility, alluded to throughout and spoken of directly several times. He invoked both John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. while exhorting Americans toward greater "individual and mutal responstbility" and "intellectual and moral strength." While Obama spent much tim.e speaking about what he wanted the govemm.ent to do for Americans, he made sure to point out that Americans also were responstble for America - that they were all "their brother's keepers, their sister's keepers." Rhetorically, Barack Obama's speech was also prosaic, despite all the ballyhoo in the media and the comparisons to John and Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., and even Abraham Lincoln. His best and most stirring moment was a call for unity and trust in the sincerity of Republican patriotism. Employing parallel structure admirably and falling into the rhetorical rhythms of a preacher, he exhorted Americans as follows: The times are too serious, the stakes are too high for this same partisan playbook. So let us agree that patriotism has no party. I love this country, and so do you, and so does John McCain. The men and women who serve in our battlefields may be Democrats and Republicans and Independents, but they have fought together and bled together and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a Red America or a Blue America - they have served the United States of America. John McCain also spoke briefly of his respect for his opponent and his opponent's supporters, though with less rhetorical force. John McCain is not a great public speaker; his address to the Republican Nominating Convention is better on the page than it is on camera. Again, McCain made no new policy suggestions in his speech - he reiterated his support for the continued occupation oflraq lest the United States lose the war, his commit- 6 The Gadfly ment to offshore drilling, his support of vouchers and charter schools, and his opposition to raising taxes. Again the most interesting part of John McCain's address was not a summary of his policies, but a long and contemplative reflection on his time as a Prisoner of War in Vietnam. He spoke movingly of pride and humility, and though he acknowledged with pride his refusal to leave Hanoi at the expense of his fellow prisoners, he also acknowledged that "after I tumed down their offer, they worked me over harder than they ever had before. For a long time. And they broke me." This coupling of human frailty and strength lent a humanity to McCain's speech which Barack Obama's lacked. The most interesting part of the Republican Convention, however, was not John McCain, with whom the majority of Americans are deeply familiar, but Sarah Palin, the obscure govern.or of Alaska. Already, Palin's role as GOP pitbull (lndeed, she referred to herself indirectly as a pitbull wearing lipstick) has begun to take shape - she made a pointed (and, judging by the crowd's reaction, popular) jab at Obama while talking about her experiences as a small town mayor, saying: I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a "community organizer," exceptthatyou have actual responsibilities. I might add that in small towns, we don't quite know what to make of a candidate who lavishes praise on working people when they are listening, and then talks about how bitterly they cling to their religion and guns when those people aren't listening. Palin also spoke about her family at length, reinforcing her emerging role as the champion of "family values" on the Republican ticket she spoke of her son, Track, who serves in Iraq, her husband, a union member, her youngest child, Trig, who has Down's Syndrome, and of her three daughters. Palin's speech was more an introduction to her character and personal history than her political opinions; many Republican speakers could enumerate the party platform, but only Palin could convince skeptical voters, Republicans and Democrats alike, that she brought something unique to the Republican ticket. Lest we Johnnies dismiss nominating conventions as mere exercises in sophistry, of little real import, I would remind this campus that Alcibiades and Nicias, Pericles and Themistocles, strove for the future of Athens through rhetoric at public assemblies - and that the current Democratic Nominee for the Presidency emerged as a national politician in the 2004 Democratic Nominating Convention, giving a speech that I rem.ember the media and my family alike hailing at the time as far better than that of John Kerry; or any other major party leader. Exercises in rhetoric and sophistry, however unphilosophical, are nevertheless wportant and worthy of observation,~ Mere Sophistry: A Ponderous and Didactic Rectrospective on Terrorism i?J Robert Sale, '10 If this issue of The Gadf!y has been published on time, yesterday will have marked the seventh anniversary of the so-called "9/11" attacks. Because we at The Gat!f!y are committed to providing you, gentle reader, with relevant political commentary and not being the Epoch, I have taken it upon myself to dedicate this edition of Mere Sophistry to what Edmund Husserl might call the "phenomenon" ofterrorism. The practice of terrorism, as well as everything else that continues to this day, began in Ancient Greece, where the gods themselves would send deifications of terror and panic into battle, creating a violent, bloody mess of organs and left nipples. At this point, however, terrorism was used in its purest form, where terror descended upon everyone equally, including those who were attempting to incite the terror. Thus, chaos reigned and terror was left without a telos. This more or less descn.bes the state of terrorism unti.l really high walls and catapults were invented, at which point terror could be incited at a safe, comfortable distance. This did not come about unti.l the Crusades, where terrorists like Richard the lion-Hearted, �Louis the Spider-King, and Frederick 'The Pain Train" Barbarossa invented the practice of brutal savagery. After successfully besieging a city, slaughtering its inhabitants, and wading ankle-deep in the poor bastards' blood, they would carve up the corpses wholesale, bring them by the cartload to the next city to be besieged, and then proceed to fling the rotting, mangled remains over the city walls in order to strike fear in the hearts of the city's defenders and general populace. If there weren't enough chunks of gore to go around, often the crusaders would butcher local cattle and fling their internal organs over the walls; those who were frightened by the bovine ballistae were dubbed "cowards" for not recognizing that they were not of human ongtn. The development of terrorism got ramped up by the masters of subjugation, the Mongols, when "Too-Terrifying" Tamerlane figured out that you don't even need to go within a catapult's distance toterrify your potential subjugees. Instead, all that needs to be done is to send spies into the opponent's camp and have them tell grossly exaggerated stories of the barbarisms and atrocities committed by your army, thereby weakening their resolve to fight you and making them easy conquests. After other potential subjugees catch on, however, then you have to behead 70,000 of them and make a pyramid out of their skulls, just so nobody doubts how fuck.in' crazy you really are. Arguably the Golden Age of terrorism came about in the late 18th century, when, for a period of about a year, terror declared itself the monarch of France and instituted its reign. This period of time perhaps bears the closest resemblance to old-school Greek terrorism, because you had no idea who was going to be executed when. After voting the guillotine into power, the French Parliament established the so-called "Comite de salut public", which is typically translated as "Committee of Public Safety'', but is more literally translated as "Committee of Public 'See You Later"', because that's what the Committee said to everyone who came before their tribunal after they had sentenced them to death by decollation. Now, the reason the Terror was so terrifying was because it was instituted because the Committee members were terrified of their own countrymen, who ended up ending the Terror by sending them to the guillotine. It was like a vicious cycle of terrorism being perpetrated on everyone living within the bor- ders of France. Nobody was safe from the Terror, because when it came down to it, terror manufactured the government, instead of the other way around. In fact, before Soviet Russia came into being, the jokes went, "in Revolutionary France..." Eventually, however, terrorism made its way out of the realm of good, clean, state-sanctioned warfare and governance and into the hands of private citizens wanting to make a point, at which juncture everything went straight to hell. Naturally, the British were responsible. In what is historically cited as the first example of privately controlled terrorism, or "venture capitalist" terrorism, a handful of gunpowder-grubbing Catholics attempted to (for lack of a better term) blow the House of Lords completely to smithereens. The plot was foiled, however, when Guy Fawkes was selected for a "random" screening at Parliament security. Nevertheless, venture capitalist terrorism had caught on: American colonists started doing it, then abolitionists and prohibitionists, anarchists got in on the act, the Russian intelligentsia started looking at in-house regime change via terrorism. After a while, though, terrorism began to be used for petty things by petty people: the KKK started using it to further bigotry and hatred, the Irish began to use it for gaining independence, and American women started using it for suffrage. From there, venture capitalist terrorism began a decline into irrelevance, never again to really recapture its glory days. In the latter half of the 20th century, governments started getting back into the terrorism game, although with a twist. This governmentsponsored terrorism was designed to look like venture capitalist terrorism, all the while being controlled by governments or wannabe governments. This "puppet terrorism", as it is called, found its niche in second-world countries where either democracy or communism was really catching on and the relevant superpower either wanted to promote it or squelch it. Another puppet terrorist hotspot is the Middle East, where terrorist groups like the PLO and the IDF battle it out, each trying to cow the other into granting minuscule territory gains, largely of sand and craters. Puppet terrorism was satirized in the 2004 box office smash hit Team America: World Police, where terrorists are seen to be controlled completely by agents working for various governments. Finally, we come to the most recent development in terrorism, which is the ever-popu- lar "do-it-yourself terrorism". With the advent of the internet, mass media and a brilliant idea called "free markets", now almost anyone could build a bomb, hide it someplace, and become a terrorist. This kind of terrorism actually combines the most terrifying elements of oldschool Greek terrorism and French Reign of Terror terrorism into one all-out, balls-to-thewall, you-gonna-die terrorism. Because anyone can be a terrorist, anyone can be a target, which turns everyone into a gibbering mess of terror. The government doesn't trust you at all and is as terrified that you're a terrorist as you are that the bearded guy next to you on the airplane is a terrorist. To finish this elucidating treatise on terror, I will paraphrase Samuel Taylor Coleridge: ''Terror, terror, everywhere, and all the boards did shrink; Terror, terror, everywhere, nor any HOLY CRAP WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE."~ Press Release: New Student Life Complex Announced lry Rachel Bartgis, '09 Press Release: New Student Life Complex Announcedin an age of competitive colleges and students raised from childhood to expect the best and strive for success, the unique "Great Books" program offered by St. John's is no longer enough of a draw to attract students. Applicants accustomed to the luxuries of private home gyms and well-heated suburban mansions have expressed disgust by the facilities. Prospie Anne Kendall declined an offer from St. John's to attend Reed University: ''Why should I settle for two ellipticals and an exercise bike in an unheated and un-air conditioned room when Reed at least has modem climate control?" The Iglehart Gymnasium is nearly 100 years old. To combat this problem a new, state-ofthe-art facility is being planned for the Annapolis campus; it will include a swimming pool, rock climbing wall, two-lane bowling alley, Press Release continued on next page The Ga4f!y 7 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 Press Release continuedfrom previous page sushi bar, rooms for clubs to meet in, and building-wide wireless internet access. Annapolis President Chris Nealson cited the project as being absolutely necessary for the growth and integrity of the much-touted college community. "The current gym is both inadequate for our community and a prominent example of how student interaction is diminished by being spread over campus in a few rooms here and there. A new Student Life building with modem comfort and equipment will enrich our polity and increase efficiency," he said at the Monday press conference. The new Centre for Polity Life will be named after long-time tutor and community pillar Eva T. Brann. After a lengthy debate with the Historic Preservation Society of Annapolis it has been determined that the current gymnasium will be demolished in late 2009 to make way for the Eva T. Brann Centre for Polity Life; while the new building is being built, the College is negotiating for students to be allowed to use Naval Academy facilities. When asked about tutor dissatisfaction over low salaries and the growing difficulty of finding professionals willing to sacrifice their careers to go to St. John's - where publishing, necessary for professors to keep their reputations in the academic world, is not only difficult but discouraged - President Nealson explained that the new building will serve as an additional incentive to teach in an intellectually rigorous and desirable enviornment. 'This is a means by which we may keep our high standards. If we build it, they will come," he said before leaving the podium..,..- Fear and Hatred fry Grant Kuning, '12 I hate to drive. "Slow do"WD.," said Mom, "slow do"WD.!" "No, go right," said Dad, as we sat at the intersection in the left lane. "You're going to drive off the road!" said my instructor as a car passed us, its tires tracing the yellow lines of the narrow road. I gave up on it. I am concerned about the role of the National Rifle Association in the decisionmaking of the government of the United States. Defenders of the Second 8 The Ga4f!y Amendment seem to think- if they are not only confident in the aggregate intellect of the Founding Fathers--that they need to defend themselves. From whom? Burglars. I once asked my high school calculus teacher what he thought was the significance of my high school education. He said that public schools are designed to make citizens American intellectually. Do you know what I learned about the Second Amendment in high school? It ensures our "right to bear arms." In fact, it says, "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." I don't understand all those big words! I'm sure glad they simplified it for me. I began this essay because I was told a fight almost broke out in the dining hall. A girl was trying to deliver an announcement and a guy was yelling- at first for silence, but then for fun- and two freshmen didn't like that- they threatened that guy. Why did they do that? I hope they didn't see a princess and a dragon and fancy themselves to be two Princes Charming. I hope they don't want to beat me up for saying so. Societies have a very particular way of doing things. If you do things the wrong way, you might frustrate a lot of people. You might get caught existing with the wrong color of skin, or the false god. When people get frustrated, fights happen. When people get very frustrated, genocides happen. I enjoyed my sociology class in high school. My teacher was such a nice guy, but I confess, he had something of a temper. I feel like he taught me a lot. I don't think he got angry with individuals though, I think he got angry with the way things were going. I respect him. I don't think most people get angry the way I think my sociology teacher did. I think those guys in the dining hall were sexists or they were worried that they weren't the center of attention, but maybe they were afraid they wouldn't hear the announcement. I guess that's what they'd say if I asked. Fear is a very funny thing because, like sleep deprivation, it cripples one's capacity to think rationally and is therefore a very compelling force. Some scared people think that the Second Amendment protects them from the criminal element. Two hundred years ago, some scared people thought that the Second Amendment protected them from the government. Maybe it did. Neither of these groups has sho"WD. very much interested in describing their feelings as fears. Fear, as well you know, is not a very masculine thing. Do you know what kind of person gets scared? A pansy. (An interesting side note: "pansy" derives from the French "pen.see," "thought," which suggests to me that thought is not very masculine eitherbut I digress.) .,...- Poetry Corner Howler By Chloe Ginsburg, '12 I saw the dark ages come again, suppressing reason and light dragging Faith through dead bodies, grinding nails on a chalkboard Patriotic bastards under God, blind fucking bastards tearing eyes from the masses. Bleed from the sockets that see God, take freedom twist the metal bars around innocence crush question and thought into oblivion unwavering loyalty rewarded, stupidity, brainless thinkers, "because they said ,, so, Bleed the red, the white, the blue into the stars, eternity; suffocate hope, knife curiosity and kill the cat. God, damn the damned - unpatriotic, nonbelievers must destroy Reason, cover it with Faith, blind Faith and motherfuckers. We apologize for the last apology; the new Editorial Staff would like to inform you that the previous Editorial Staff has been sacked. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thorn, Christopher (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXX, Issue 2 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2008-09-12 Description An account of the resource Volume XXX, Issue 2 of The Gadfly. Published September 12, 2008. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 30.2 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/8e798286b7bd3ad748c8b25ab04ceac6.pdf d5ab7ff36b15c47edd79dc3f07b19dc5 PDF Text Text THE GADFLY The St John's CoHege Student Week& Volume XXX, Issue 10 Editor's Note: This was written by a former 2003-2004 Staff Writer Vandalism Etiquette by Joe Method It would be oversmiplifying things to say that the polity, as a whole, frowns on vandalism. A cursory glance at the signboards outside of the coffee shop will , show that subtle defacing of posters is .an accepted, even honored activity at the College. Or, at least, it is endemic. Certainly, there is one indisputable recommendation for sign defacement It gives smokers something lo look at. Beyond this all-important consideration, it is clear that sign defacement is within the spirit of the community: a Annapolis, Maryland February 6, 2009 poster is an univocal expression, an impassive, impersonal declaration of Authority. The poster says what it means to say; it states the intention and the time and the place, but it does not answer further questions. A poster is like a lecturer who won't stick around for question period. For the same reasons that we won't abide sound bites in Seminar, we deface signs. We force the poster to stick around and tell us what the good is. This does not mean that all sign vandalism is created equal The best sign defacements start a conversation about the subject matter of the poster, or some loosely related topic. The conversation is usually begun with a well-placed, satiric comment that draws out the omnipresent peanut gallery (e.g., the smokers hip-bopping in the cold outside the coffee shop) who then take their pens in hand and add their own two cents. Comments range from the irreverent, to the ear- nest, to the insightful Ironically, 6ne occasionally finds comments, written on a poster, to the effect of "do not write on posters." The signboards outside of the coffee shop tend to promote freewheeling discussions of politics and trivia, while the posters that find their way onto the inner doors of Pinkney have led to more drawn-out, formal arguments. Last year, for instance, the Cassie Sherman Storyteller's Guild Milk 'n' Cookies Debate of 2002-3 was carried out in intricate detail across the surfaces of several posters stating the position of the embattled Guild. This year the Ga4f!y's own Mr. Hayden Brockett has engaged in rhetorical battle with 1) a Mabel the Swimming Wonder Monkey comic strip and 2) An SO invitation to discuss Sex and the Program. [See Sidebar: Confessions of a Vandalizer] Vandalism ontinued on page 7 �the ~GADFLY Catnpus Infortnation SCI Minutes by SCI Editor-in-Chief Christopher Thom Managing Editor Babak Zarin Proofreader Exttaordinaire Rowenna Thorson Cartoonist Staff Columnists Kirstie Dodd Contributing to this Issue Rachel Bartgis Timothy Davis Jerome Dausman Joe Method Andrew Mize Sophia Urusova January 15, 2009 Pavlos Papadopoulos, Clint Richardson, Joao Santa-Rita, Jacob Greenstien, Caity Swanson, Drake Talley, Sophie Michelewicz, Mike O'Brien, Megan Field Members Present Pavlos Papadopoulos, Clint Richardson, Joao Santa-Rita, Jacob Greenstien, Caity Swanson, Drake Talley, Sophie Michelewicz, Mike O'Brien, Megan Field Topics Discussed: -Upcoming freshmen elections -Sign-up for pre-lecture seminars -Dinner with prospective tutors -This semester's All College Seminar reading: Choice to be announced soon On-going Events: -Women in the Wmter, Check the SCI board in the coffee shop for next Tuesday's reading Founded in 1980, The Gadfl.J is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, fac- ulty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board ofVJSitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent the opinions of The Gadfly staff. The Gadfl.J reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfl.J is not obligated to publish all submissions. Yearly subscriptions are available for $30.00. Tax-deductible contnbutions are greatly appreciated. Please make checks payable to The GadJ!J. The deadline for submissions is Saturday before midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions can be accepted as long as they are legtbly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to gadfly@sjca.edu. 2 The Gadfly January 22, 2009 Members Present Pavlos Papadopoulos, Clint Richardson, Joao Santa-Rita, Jacob Greenstien, Caity Swanson, Drake Talley, Sophie Michelewicz, Mike O'Brien, Megan Field Topics Discussed: -Up-coming dinners with prospective tutors -Up-coming pre-lecture seminars -Last week's Women in the Wmter -Cezanne seminar and trip with Art Society to be planned later -Sophomore Music: What is the ultimate aim of the tutorial and are we meeting that goal? -Santa Fe's program v. Annapolis' -Possible need for more technical understanding -Appreciation and Articulation of music -Llstening v. Reading music -In depth study of few pieces v. broad exposure to many pieces -Function of long music -Specific problems and possible solutions to be discussed at the following meeting Program Books on a Budget by Rachel Bartgis, '09 ''When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes." Erasmus Odds are that you don't have enough money to buy all your schoolbooks new from the College Bookstore (though if that is the case I'm incredibly envious), and since everyone's being more thrifty these days anyway due to the impending financial meltdown I've put together a list of cost-saving measures that will help you make ends meet. After the $100 ofbookmoney I got for high school graduation ran out at the end of the second week of my freshman year I've been very careful in my habits and can usually get away with spending under $40 a semester. I tty to patronize the St John's bookstore as often as possible, but sometimes I just don't have the money, and so I offer you a few alternative sources: Pro ject G utenberg (http · II www.gytenberg.org / wiki / Main Page) Many of the things we read are in the public domain, and while the translations aren't always the best it's a great resource for really short things in their original language like Les Fleurs du Mal, Benito Cerino, La Rochefoucauld, The Constitution and Declaration of Independence, and some of the other shorter readings. Use paper from the box of scrap paper in the student lab and format carefully in Word to cut down on waste. I usually switch the page to landscape, make two columns with 10 pt font, and shrink the margins. After printing out Books continued on next page �Books 'ontin11edfrom previom page my reading I fold the pages in half so they look a bit more like a book and keep the whole thing together with a big binder clipoccasionally I even sew the text block together with a Japanese stab binding (http;L /www;scrap,iazz.com/tC>pics !Tecbniques I Binding/948.php). Used bookshelf in the College Bookstore. The key to success with this method is to troll regularly. Think of what you're going to need next year and plan ahead people will usually sell their seminar books soon after reading them. People also sell lots at the end of the year when they realize they can't take all their books home with them, particulatly seniors, though there you run into the problem of cramming them into your suitcase yourself. Annapolis Book Store- Located onMaxyland Ave. across the street fromAnnabeth's, this place offers a standing 10% discount to Johnnies and has a huge section of used Progtam books. Theywillalso order books online for you. Visit regularly and you'll be surprised at the great deals you'll get. Incidentally, speaking of used books stores, make sure to visit The Strand (ht!;p.;.il WW'\'JbStrandbooks.com/) for some great deals on seminar books if you're ever in New York City. Online - half com,, amazon.com, and ebay are all great places to troll for used books. I managed to get my Toomer Ptolemy for quite a bit cheaper this way. Make sure to order well ahead of time to compensate for shipping and to get a chance at grabbing a good deal Order several books at a time to take advanmge of amazon.corn's deals on shipping. Library- Fortunately, the library is nearby, open late, and one of the cheapest and most reliable ways to lay hold of the really nice, expensive translations that you otherwise can't quite afford. Unfortunately, there aren't that many copies, so borrowing from the library requires the foresight of a couple months, which isn't always my strong point. VISitnear the beginning of the semester with a copy of the semester's seminar readings in hand and figure out which books you plan to borrow and which you'll buy. You will thank yourself for your foresight when the time comes. Borrowing from friends - Never underestimate the power of borrowing. I manged to do the Galileo junior lab reading by borrowing my ex-roommate's copy, since we had classes at different times. Your upperclassmen friends probably won't have all of their books with them but it's worth a shot. This is also great way to get hold of manuals - pick a good friend a year ahead of you at the end of the school year and ask if you can borrow all their manuals for the upcoming year since theyprobablywon't be needing them. A great hidden benefit of dating an upperclassman is getting to borrow books off them, but I do suggest dating someone for more than the book borrowing opportunities. Selling books back- I'm personally not a fan of this at all, but don't disregard it ifyou aren't that attached to your books and marginalia, especially if you find a copy of Bloom's Republic in Goodwill for $1 and don't need the crappy Hackett Republic you bought your freshman year anymore. It's always worth a shot to ask for gift cards to the College Bookstore or amawn.com for birthday and holiday gifts, or even straight cash for a book fund. Since it's for your education relatives are usually relatively willing to pony up the cash, provided you don't go and spend it all on booze (keep it quiet if you do). Of course, there are some books I just end up buying new - usually math books because I heavily annotate and a few books (Critique of Pure Reason, Hegel) where splurging for the good translation is worth the money. Bottom line is that if you look ahead, plan a little, and manage your money well you can afford to buy the books you really want to own - and eat and clothe yourself as well ...,..... The Gadfly 3 �Poetry Corner In the preface to a second edition of his poems, the philosopher poet George Sanrayam srates that a man ofletters should versify occasionally and yet need not be a poetic genius. Certainly many Johnnies fit that bill, myself included. One might ask what the value of poetry is, especially after reading the works of many of the modem poets who followed Santayana. (Ed. Note: the reader may also want to ask the same of Mr. Dausman's work below.) These modems, these latter day purveyors of existential mish-mash, have discarded and undervalued many edifying styles of poetry. Where are these poetic vehicles being championed today? After an extensive search I found, to my surprise and astonishment, no one has taken up the b--runer. In fact, Poets Corner has even been dropped from The Gadfly. And The Gadfly bemoans their loss of news of the world. Are we to be like the Spartans, decrying any+..hing outside our city? Being a sion warrants, I feel compelled to rake up the cudgel of knowledge, and hereby proclaim myself Poet Laureate of St. John's College Annapolis. As the PoetLaureate (self-prodaim....<>d), I feel it is my duty to exercise the moral imperatives accruing to such an esteemed position. Among these is the duty to discuss not only topics of poetry, but also moral issues with which poetry deals. It is therefore highly appropriate that the first poem released for the perusal of the Polity should be of a recent world event, one involving our immediate past President; an event attended by grave moral consequences. Iraqi Shoemanship or Middle Eastem Journalism in Flying Verse by Jerome Dausman, Graduate Institute One shoe, two shoe, Grabbed shoe, threw shoe. Now 1'111 a Straussian Editor's note: In honor of Begone Dull Care on February 14, at 2 PM in the Great Hal~ we have deicded to reprint thefollowing song, which is sung to the tune ef the Beatles' I Wanna Hold Your Hand. This song, Now I'm a Straussian!, good-natured!J pillories some ef this school} well-beloved tutors. HARVEYFLAL""MENtt.AFT One, two, one, two, three, four Li\.lJRR"l>.J"CE BERN"'ES: Oh yeah I'm reading something, No one can understand, 'Cause I was friends with Leo And I'm a Straussi-an, rnoRUS: So I'm a Straussian, So I'm a Straussian. ROBERT GOLDBERG: When I was in high school I really loved Ayn Rand, Then I had class with Allan Now I'm a Sttaussi-an, CrlORUS: Now I'm a Straussian 4 The Ga4f!y Now I'm a Straussian. HE1'.1RY HIGUERA.: Why study math and science, To learn of modem man, The Prince has all the answers And the Leviathan. BRIDGE: Though I don't think much I feel happy inside, Accounts come easy when my meaning I can hide, I can hide, I can hide. HARVEYFLAUMEN'"tl.AFT: I feared that Virtue threatened }Jl things American Till Strauss showed that Plato Was a Republican! FINAL CHORUS: Plato's a Sttaussi-an We're all a Straussi-an right at Bush. He threw two shoes, both went Whooshl He threw shoes with lots of pluck. He made Bush guy dodge and duck. Shoe toss at Boss. Boss not cross with bad shoe toss. Wmgtip did flip, Secret Service made man trip. Shoeman in Iraqi jail, Iraqi jail makes shoeman pa.le, In Arab jail does shoeman wail, For shoeman shoe-toss ... it did fail. �Gadfly Crossword Puzzle I 1 ~ ~ 27 Across 16. "Take On Me" group 1. Vertical spar 17. Medieval instruments 5. Seraglio 21. Four-wheeled carriage 10. Hunchbacked helper 23. Give gratuitously 11. Worship 24. Not empirical 12. Store for later use 26. Alert 13. Ischemia result 29. Cut a little 14. Accelerated climax 30. Bolivian capital 31. I'm one 32. Specific elsewhere 33. Hitler's deputy Down 1. Mass reference 2. Hercule creator 3. Poetic ruler 4. Comer The Gadfly 5 �Life and Deah in the News by Sophia Urusova, '12 On Thursday.January 22nd,I was among seven St. John's students who traveled to Washington D.C. to take part in the March for Life. This eventhas taken place annually since 1974, and has been the time and place for hundreds of thousands of pro-life Americans to voice their opinions since then. Its purpose is to keep the 1973 decision of the Supreme Court in Roev. Wade in public memory, and to oppose this decision from every possible angle. The day of the March this year was encow:ag:ingly sunny. & perhaps hundreds of thousands of people gathered on the National Mall, it could be seen from the trampled surroundings that there had been countless more visitors at the Inauguration, only two days earlier. This fact did not seem to discourage anyone present. Rather, as the crowds grew tighter and as senators, religious leaders, and other public figures began to speak from a central stage, it was clear that the marchers had hope of turning the opinions of not only the new, pro-choice president, Barack Obama, but of changing the way the entire nation thought regarding this issue. Faces were bright as supporters of the cause piled over Capitol Hill, chanting, singing, and conversing with newly discovered allies. Most of the St. John's students, members of the Orthodox Christian Fellowship, marched with Metropolitan Jonah of the Orthodox Church of America, and with members of various other Orthodox Christian archdioceses. The streets thatthe marchers navigated were full until late in the day, from the National Mall to the Supreme Court. Pro-lifers are many, partly because their opinion is the clear-cut and unavoidable choice between life and death. If a person knows that thousands of innocents are being slain in his or her country each day because of a government decision, it matters little that the life lost was not in one's own family, or even community. The marchers in this pro-life rally are fighting what is in their minds genocide, a holocaust. These are strong words; the beliefs maywell be true. An opposition to abortion does not take into account when life enters a child so much as the inherent value ofhuman life, no matter the form. As one marcher's placard said, 6 The Gadfly quoting Dr. Seuss, "a person's a person, no matter how small" A pro-life opinion besides the well-known low regard for abortion is the belief that euthanasia should be prohibited. An elderly or sick person is considered to be at the end of human life farthest from the unbom child, but should be given as much care. The vulnerable are not disposable. Barack Obama has promised to enact the Freedom of Choice Act, or FOCA, an act that has the potential to remove all limits the United States carrenrly has to reduce the number of abortions performed, including the requirement for parental consent and the ban of partial-birth abortion. It has been estimated variously that tens of millions, even fifty million lives have beenlostthrough abortion since 1973. To some this number is a showcase of effective population control: to others, a sign of human brutality. Most probably, 2010 will see the thirtyseventh March for Life. When it happens, our group from St. John's College will be there to state its opinion and to join thousands who share it. Think carefully about your own opinion: on a word may rest the difference between life and death. ~ Here is My Boycott by Andrew Mize, '12 A few weeks ago during a dining hall conversation, a fellow Johnnie and I discussed a question: How does change come about in a country? Is it more through the slow, private works of individuals through boycotts and marChes, or more through the mdical, often violent upheavals led by a few? Surdy both ways could work. Is one safer, the other faster? Who should lead the revolution? Dinner ended and the conversation moved outside. Is swift change dangerous? Wouldn't everyone have to disrupt their lifestyles? The talk finally ended and I went to Mellon to read for seminar. The topic stuck. Surelyviolence isn't the solution. How do a million people unite in supporting a cause? After an hour or so, I decided it was time for a wee bathroom break. Upon reading the grout-graffiti I thought, 'The cause would have to be heavy enough to outweigh the public's value of comfort. But that is unfortunate because only large scale change could be made." Zipping, I turned around and went to the sink as always to wash my bands, still pensive. I rinsed, soaped, lath- ered, and re-rinsed. Turning. I stopped, bands dripping, and panned once again from the large stacks of crisply-folded, brown, dusty paper towels to the overflowing heap of their used comrades in the receptacle. ''It sure would save a few trees if we used air dryers instead," I thought indignantly. Riding that wave, I decided right then to cease using them. I don't quite knowwhy; I really wouldn't affect much alone. But I was feeling angry and rebellious (I do love trees). After all, it's not unsanitary--t:he soap seizes all the germs, and the rinse washes them down the drain. Paper towels are just a matter of convenience. "Would wasted paper in the bathroom ever muster anyone else to stop using them?'' I fully understand that the answer to that question is "maybe". Maybe I could go around and make a fuss about using paper towels in the bathroom. Maybe I could write a furious editorial about how the administration should install air dryers. Maybe they would listen. Although I do wish theywould, that is not what I am most worried about. Is there no sanctity in the hardly effective individual boycott? Itmay be noble, butwby don't more people do it and share their experiences? I feel that the general opinion is that if the practice is not effective, why do it? You should adopt a different, more radical approach. Collect arms, don masks, blowndry hands or anarchy! I speak in defense of the boycott, march, and civil disobedience that are slow, but that change individuals inside, not just the community outside. For the past few months since then, I have kept up my abstemious relationship with paper towels. Let me say that I am ashamed at how hard it has been. Literally every time I wash my hands, I look to those same dusty papers and can only imagine the convenience they provide in drying my cold, wet bands. My alternative is to fling the water into the sink, air dry as I walk, and wipe the rest onto my pant seams. I admit that sometimes I would conjure reasons why this one time was an exception to my rule. How is it that simply abstaining from using paper towels has been such a struggle for me? In Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, he describes the temperate man as the mean between the self-indulgent and the "insensible" extremes. Aristotle says there is one main difference between the temperate man and Boycott continued on next page �Boycott continued.from previous page the self-indulgent. The temperate man can leave a convenience without pain or craving, whereas the self-indulgent man cannot.I have held discussions that came to the conclusion that philosophy is not intended to be practical, but I cannot help but apply this comparison. Does this mean that I have been self-indulgent in my use of paper towels? I don't consider myself over-indulgent, but I wince a little every time I have to pass them up in the bathroom. Sometimes the most trivial, merit-less causes are the ones that are hardest to give up. No one does because of the apparent waste of time and energy. I want to say that mypapertowel boycotthas not been a waste; I have grown. I know myself better now. I've even lowered St. John's demand for them by a miniscule margin. Every day I battle with it, and now I feel almost no pain in flinging my hands dry. Can you say the same about yourself? H so, you may have noticed the lack of support this very newsletter receives. You may have been quietly contemptuoils of it, maybe even pitied it, wishing some fellow students would finally decide to submit articles. But have they? Have you fought for the cause you hold in your hands? It is as noble as any. And sometimes, rarely I admit but sometimes, small changes catch on. Whynotwrite and submit a response to this article? Why not help start the trend of expressive thought in order to revive our dear Gadfly? After all, we have all read Herodotus. Surely you remember when, strapped to a pyre, Croesus finally understood Solon's assertion that " ... man is entirely what befalls him." Although we as Americans have little to be truly indignant about, every day is different; good fortune is always in transit. Someday you will look inside yourself for the strength to change your habits for a cause, but will not find it. That multitude of nugatory struggles you saved for tomorrow will have left you strandedpowerless and ignorantly indulgent when you need to be unbending. When history sets before you a great cause that is worthy of throwing out every convenience, don't you want to be ready? The small causes will prepare you for that day. Don't worry that you have avoided this discipline. Llke Solon said, every day is different.~ Vandalism ontinued.from front page In the outside coffee shop arena, there have been some impressive displays of wit. My favorite involves Mr. Ian Blaustein's protest poster in response to the Objectiv:ist Oub Lending library. Mr. Nick Colten took the time to write on The Ian Blaustein Lending Library Poster this gem: But Mr. Blaustein,· the Oijectivist Lending Library is the onfy Lending Libraryfitfor man/See, this is very, very funny. Sadly, theIBILPposterwas swiftly removed by an unknown party. This brings us to Vandalism Etiquette. H we are prepared to agree that a certain level of vandalism is in our blood as a school, we must bring this need to deface into line with our respect for free speech. What crosses the bounds of 'productive' defacement into mere destruction? Well, to begin with, 1) actual destruction ofposters is probably not a valid mode of expression. H you have ever found yourself tearing dmlm someone else'sposter, you were probably violating vandalism etiquette. What else? 2) Unintelligent vandalism is pointlessly vulgar or inane commentary. In the first instance, DC=Dork Oub-BJs for Everyone! was a particulatly unhelpful contribution to a Brian Jones Campaign Poster. In the second instance, an example of inane poster conversation: The Poster: Come to Collegi11111! Comment This poster is stoopiti. Retort Ohyeah? Rebuttal of Retort: Yeah. There has been some debate about 3) Cigarette Burning. In general, I think we can agree that burning holes in posters is a completely thoughtless activity which destroys a portion of the sign and may make it illegible. Rendering a sign illegible really is an attempt to stifle the speech of another. This is wrong. The only reservations on this question concern skillful placement of the cigarette burns (e.g., within o's). Even this seems unnecessary. The burning of the eyes in the Webster Ye Campaign Poster was probably immensely satisfying to the vandals, but it remains, nonetheless, wrong. Next is the relatively new phenomenon of 4) Mustachios. This was clever for a second. Now it, too, is wrong. [See Sidebar: Considerations on Mustachios] In the words of Hayden Brockett [See end of Sidebar: Confessions of a Vandal], who speaks for both of us: "That's it, kids. Have Fun." Indeed. ~ The Gadfly 7 �Dodd on the Quad: Concrete Dreams 1!J Kirstie Dodd, '10 Staff Co/11mni.rt I have a dream. In my dream I am standing in a room on the third floor of McDowell looking out towards college creek. I can see the brown mark of the boathouse nestled in a grove of trees in the distance, the upper and lower fields wom-out from too many cleats joyously kicking up the turf, Spector and Gilliam squatting on the upper field like disgruntled sumo wrestlers preparing to fight, and the white outline of the water tower in the distance. In the foreground, Randall and Campbell stand as the brick bookends of St. John's College, guarding over young, ancientminded minds living inside. Mellon sits below on the left-that slender, rude interjection of a building, which hardly makes a case for modernity. And then I scan over to the right of Mellon, and with an indignant squint that probably causes premature wrinkles, I see the hideous metal dome of the planetarium lying in a pool of concrete. I wonder, rubbing my eyes to make sure they're not bleeding, if this phantasm is not St. John's College but rather Belfast in the eighties. I wake up realizing it wasn ta dreamthat the concrete mass jutting into the upper field is a part of the school I (mostly) love down to every brick and architectural door molding. Besides that one eyesore, the overall campus feel is very twenties boy prep school, kind of like A Separate Peace. I must admit, however, nowhere in that novel is there any description of a "hideous slab of grey concrete that represents an embarrassing design flaw." From what I've heard, it was meant to be a reflection pond ala Washington D.C. or the Taj Mahal where Johnnies could congregate, contemplate philosophy, commiserate over Kant, and celebrate in their reflections like Eve inParodise LJ.rt. What we got was a porous wedge of concrete that leaks like a generic-brand baby's diaper in a Pamper's commercial But with a bearish economy bullying St. John's "Hangin' On By A Financial Thread Since 1636" College, there is little anyone can do except complain about the slab and hope that people don't stub their toes on it during the all-college marathon inMay. That will not stop me from entertaining some 8 The Gadf!y hypothetical alternatives to the aesthetic atrocity we have right now. Here are some ideas I think might work: Skate Park: Frank Llyod Wright was all about incorporating surrounding natural elements into his house designs, so why don't we incorporate the concrete slab into our everyday lives? We could invite local graffiti artists to come and tag it up, erect a half pipe, install some rails for grinding, and blast 90's crossover ska music so we could 360° our way through the Great Books. Hot Tub: A little more scandalous than the skate park idea, granted, but the results would be worth it. This idea involves pouring over the concrete with some sort of water-impervious substance and installing heated jets to make a giantJacuzzi for use at night and during the winter months. Imagine stepping into a tepid pool with toddy and seminar reading in hand only to step out an hour later with exfoliated raisin skin and a warm belly. The only downsides are the hot tub might tum into a cesspool of floating dead skin and makeout sessions-or worse-phrases like ''.Are you tubbin' tonight?" might become en vogue. We already have enough cutsey names for places on campus without "The Tub" being added to the repertoire. Sand Box: This idea appeals probably only to people who feverishly play Magic: The Gathering in their rooms while downloading old Space Ghost videos off of YouTube, but then again, not all of us are in touch with our inner child. The school would have to simply drop a couple grand for some sand and plastic toys (e.g. the castle mold, the plastic bucket, the rake) and we have an instant play haven for people who need kinesthetic stimulation. Beware of losing your engagement ring and uncomfortable skin rashes. Secret Garden: Maybe I never got over the book I read as a kid, but I've always wanted a coy robin to lead me to an ivycovered brick wall so I can find a hidden door and have adventures in a new Eden with my hunchback: cousin. Since that's never happened, we could just fill the concrete with soil and tum it into a pretty garden of silver bells and cockle shells to enjoy for no reason. I call this one the "Jen Wright Option." Modern Art Park: I can't think of anything more nouveau and trendy than tum- ingaderelict "urban" space into a place where equally derelict art made out of trash adorns it like paba-free makeup on an already unfortunate bone structure. This would be a great way to incorporate more art appreciation into the Program, and would give a chance for people to perfect their pensive chin strokes and other classroom "thinking" postures. Mayan Sacrifice Pit: Though we are a school devoted to Western thought (whatever that means), we could incorporate some Mesoamericanheritageinto our everyday eyesight by creating a ball court for people to challenge classmates in a game of life or death. Pascal suddenly becomes the most popular author on the program. IN CONO..USION: MartinLuther King Jr. made his famous "I Have A Dream" speech by a reflection pool I too have a dream for our broken reflection pool I'm not really sure if that has symbolic significance or is merely the escape hatch for a girl efyingto incorporate a poorly-executed Kant joke into this article, but do with it what uwilt. ~ �Of Transferring and the Folly of Rivalry l?J Timotl?J Davis, '11 The time soon comes (or has come, depending on if the Gadf!y prints th.is before the cutoff date) for Annapolis students to ponder the Great Question: "Am I going to transfer to Santa Fe?" If not, ''.Am I going to make an ass of myself comparing superior Annapolis to hippy-ridden Fe?" The proper response should be at least, "No and no", and many students should answer, "Yes and no." Rivalry is good for the soul Every institution, every organization wishes to be the best, or at least recognized as talented/ attractive. Everything about this is natural and good. The problem arises when (as a third grade teacher might put it) one group begins belittling another group. Normally I say th.is is fine, and generally amusing, especially during political campaigns, but when it hits close to home I become wary. Thus, I say that the rivalry between Annapolis and Santa Fe needs to end, or be entirely changed. From the first propaganda mailing I received from St. John's, I was interested mainly in Santa Fe, and I spent my first year there, albeit constantly being aware that our college is on two campuses. Even before first year, I was determined to transfer. My classmates' reaction was rather unexpected; several of them tried to convince me not to go. "Why would you want to attend the preppy bastard campus?" they asked. 'They're superficial, concerned only with wealth and appearances." I am stubborn to such an extent that arguments of that kind only encourage me, and I left Fe for the East Coast. Annapolis did not quite live up to the reputation Santa Fe gave me. When pressed, Fe directed me to wikiHow's preppy articles, which are rather misleading. The only real changes I could perceive were a sort of uniformness among the student body, less tattoos, piercings, and unconventional styles, more heels, and more formal clothing in general. It is not uncommon to see girls walking dresses during the week, or guys wearing suits. There is some truth to the hippie/ preppie stereotypes, but don't take them very seriously. Nor was the "superficial'' charge accurate. Annapolis stu- dents are Johnnies even we desert rats are, and quite as passionate about the Program. Upon arrival in Maryland, a whole new set of stereotypes cropped up. Santa Fe students are lazy, ill-groomed, unmotivated, smelly, and do little else but smoke pot and trip on shrooms. These should all sound familiar, and they're about as true as Santa Fe's maxims on Annapolis. I will content S!JO,HN'S -. . Co··· l'I•e·.g,.·..·e·.. ·· '· : ~ ; . . . .. : : . , : : ' ·-··· . . - :' . . ~ : . . .' . myself with addressing laziness and drug use. First, drugs. To be sure, many Fe students do drugs, especially marijuana, and there is less stigma attached to pot in the desert than on the Potomac, depending on which security guard catches you on the grassy knoll. However, there peer pressure to get high is practically nil if you are remotely strong willed, and there is less hard drinking. Honestly, I would prefer a student to smoke a blunt than get alcohol poisoning, which is not uncommon here. Further, the numbers of students who do drugs is likely very similar; Annapolis is just better at hiding it. Second, the myth of an easy Program: everyone here knows that Santa Fe is laid back and rarely gets much work done. One sophomore even told me in complete honesty that was the very reason he was not considering moving West. So now I say: it is a complete myth. If anything, the students in Santa Fe work banierthan their East Coast colleagues, for several reasons: All years are in class about five hours a week more than us (I consider my- self an Annapolian at present); yes, you notice it, and yes, it makes a difference. All years write a seminar essay every semester, and upperclassmen are additionally assigned a preceptorial essay. It seems to me that Fe writes more papers in general, but perhaps it is merely my experience of Annapolis, and exception to the rule. Further, seniors are assigned The Brothers Karamazov during their writing period, receiving five breaks from seminar to our eight. There is no Dead Week for don rags; you receive class breaks only if your tutor is scheduled for a don rag, and even then, he might choose to hold class anyway. Regarding student work, the campuses are almost identical Laid back the hippies may be, but the preppie kids should not hold their motivation and focus as a source of pride. If my math or Greek tutorials were any indication last semester, it isn't helping much. Thus, whenever I hear a student in the dining hall ridicule or play down Santa Fe, I normally laugh at them, and then refute them plainly. Campus pride is one thing, as is friendly rivalry, (and both should be carefully nurtured), but stupidity is quite different. Such students betray a laughable case of ignorance, which normally is harmless, were it not that others begin to believe it. When such gross ignorance becomes the norm, students who would greatly benefit from transferring fear to do so and deny themselves the pleasure of transferring. For my part, I am thrilled I was permitted to come. Annapolis is beautiful, the campus buildings are gorgeous, and the library is heaven. If I return to Santa Fe, I will miss this very much. Hopefully, this article has at least made you look on your sister campus in better light. Perhaps it has kindled interest. Talk to the transfers (especially the enthusiastic looking sophomore), resolve questions, and complete the transfer applications! You almost certainly will be permitted to go West, for at least 30 students wish to come East. And if you were totally unmoved to leave Annapolis or shudder at the thought of New Mexico, atleast give us the respect one Johnnie should give another. We are easily equals in academia, and hell - we can probably thump y'all at Spartan Madball. ....- The Gadfly 9 �Athletes of the Week January 23 (From Top) Mr.Carney Ms.Harty I I . i • J 'I ' l1 1O The Gadfly �Athletes of the Week January 30 (From Top) Mr. Braithwaite Ms.Sebell The Gadfly 11 �THE G.i\DFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, :MD 21404 Jl!orld arts.& crafts,. .antiques and paintings. Artlsiic, fair~tra~d h:a11d made unique .items from developing countries 1¥orld books on multi-: cultural issues. Collectio11s ofn~orld proverbs, parables & teaching slu1rt~tories. 0~ S 12 The Ga4f!y r ~ .(> ~ 57.AiarylandAve (offState Circle) I Phone (24hrs): (202) 787 0111 . LD JJVebsite: Featllting· ki.sii-.stone sculpturesfrQm J(~eny(J, .Tmshan Peasant Pau.ititigsfrom. China and works ofSharma, Calcutta streetpaititer Open 7 days a week from JfJ.30 to 6..30, o{tell late. All.. major credit cards pc,ceptetl, lVWW. rvorldtteegallery.net I I � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thorn, Christopher (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXX, Issue 10 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-02-06 Description An account of the resource Volume XXX, Issue 10 of The Gadfly. Published February 6, 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 30.10 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/b329801de0f8c5bd7663b88b631fdb6d.pdf 6a34a944f0e243f71ab9868b11bf6c6f PDF Text Text THE GADFLY Annapolis, Maryland February 20, 2009 The St. John's College Student Week!J Volume XXX, Issue 11 Editor's note: The fallowing article was requested. About St. John's College: Notes on Dialogue by Stringfellow Barr, in 1968 Perhaps the first obstacle to writing even these random notes on dialogue is that the very word, dialogue, has been temporarily tumed into a clichC. Everybody is loudly demanding dialogue, and there is not much evidence that most of us are prepared to carry one on. Indeed, to borrow a traditional phrase from professional diplomats, conversations have deteriorated. But both radio and television, whether public or commercial, remind us daily that a lonely crowd hungers for dialogue, not only for the dialogue of theatre but also for the dialogue of the discussion program. There is a pathos in television dialogue: the rapid exchange of monologues that fail to find the issue, like ships passing in the night; the reiterated preface, "I think that .. .," as if it mattered who held which opinion rather than which opinion is worth holding; the impressive personal vanity that prevents each "discussant" from really listening to another speaker and that compels him to use this God-given pause to compose his own next monologue; the further vanity, or instinctive caution, that leads him to choose very long words, whose true meaning he has never grasped, rather than short words that he understands but that would leave the emptiness of his point of view naked and exposed to a mass public. There is pathos in the meaningless gestures: the extended chopping hands, fingers rigidly held parallel and together, the rigid wayward thumb pointing to heaven. A knowledgeable theatrical director would cringe at these gestures and would perhaps faint when the extended palms, one held in front of the other, are made to revolve rapidly around each other, thereby imitating and emphasizing the convolutions of a mind that races like a motor not in gear. And Mrs. Malaprop herself would cringe at those long, wayward words, so much at cross purpose with the intent of the speakers. Or at the academic speaker's strings of adjacent nouns, where all but the last noun modify adjectivally either the last noun or the nearest noun - it is anybody's guess. We are all suffocating intellectually, not from the ungrammatical language of Cassius Clay, which is gutsy, forceful and eloquent. We are suffocating from a fausse elegance that scorns the honest, clear, four-letter word. And quite aside from the obscene ones, hundreds of splendid four-letter words are waiting to work for us. Is it possible that we discussants are oppressed by a subconscious suspicion that we are really saying precisely nothing, and that this nothing will stand up as conversation only if we say it elaborately? Is it this suspicion that forces us to speak in what our learned jargon recently christened ')argonese?" "Yoono Chinese, Japanese; well I am now speaking, yoono, jargonese." Our failure at dialogue is building a Tower, of yoono, Babel. Nevertheless, back of this tormenting, and tormented, babble is a ghost we cannot lay, the ghost of dialogue. We yearn, not always consciously, to commune with other persons, to learn with them by joint search. This joint labor to understand would be even more exciting than the multiplication of our gross national product or the improvement of our national defense or even than the elimination of war from the face of the earth. For we can never live wholly human lives without a genuine converse between men. We human animals yearn so deeply to converse that we have discovered, or imagined, that the whole universe shares our longing, that the whole universe is not only "in labor," but "in dialogue." The epics of Hindu and ancient Greek alike, the sacred scriptures both of Jew and Christian, abound in dialogue between God, or the gods, and man. The heroic effort to achieve political democracy was an effort to increase dialogue between men, while that master of dialogue, Socrates, sought with Apollo at Delphi and died rather than cease from asking his fellow-Athenians awkward, important questions. We human animals are wistfully anxious to engage nonhuman animals in dialogue; we are persistent disciples of Aesop. Our children's books are crowded with talking animals and the same children talk confidently to domestic animals. How could they not feel confidence, they who have so recently passed from the status of dumb animals to the status of animals in dialogue? Our scientists try to understand the language of dolphins. On the other hand, they do not stop at possible dialogue with the animate; at least, metaphorically, their experiments question inanimate matter. So deep is the human faith in inquiry. Before we resent or reject the idea that the scientist is "in dialogue" with the object or objects he investigates, let us observe that, like Socrates, he is humble, patient, imaginative, and deeply attentive. He "listens" with all five senses and with "the mind's eye." Our century - or those two-thirds of it that we have now traversed - has been called the Age. of Violence. But our century has been marked not only by a massive breakdown of dialogue, but by its massive growth, too. It is, indeed, the century of two World Wars, or revolution and totalitarianism, of cold inhumanity and genocide of racial strife. It is also the centuryofMartin Buber's "I-and-Thou," of Telhard de Chardin's daring restatement of cosmic progression, of Pope John' call to all men of good will, regardless of their particular religious faith, their race, their economic status, their nation, their political creed, or their technological development. Moreover, regardless of big-power imperialism, of a precarious peace sustained by a "balance of terror," of a spreading backlash against the claims of racial equality, modem technology has enabled a new Dialogue continued on page 5 �the Catnpus Infortnation 'JVGADFLY DC Minutes by SO Editor-in-Chief Christopher Thom February 11, 2009 Managing Editor Babak. Zarin Proofreader Extraordinaire Rowenna Thorson Cartoonist Staff Columnists Kirstie Dodd Robert Sale Contributing to this Issue Stringfellow Ba.tr Emalie Gamage Timothy Davis Jerome Dausman MicbaelLacy Kea Wilson Founded in 1980, The GaJf!y is the student weekly distributed free to over 500 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board ofVJSitoi:s and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the the sole responsibility of the author(s) and do not necessarily :represent the opinions of The Gatlf!J staff: The GaJf!y reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most thoughtful, infonnative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. 1ctteIS of 200 words or fewer have a better chance of being published than those longer than this limit. Letters submitted will be edited for gtammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The GaJf!y is not obligated to publish all submissions. Yearly subscriptions are available for $30.00. Tax-deductible contributions are greatly appreciated. Please mak.e checks payable to The GaJf!y. The deadline for submissions is Saturday before midnight, unless permission for a delay is granted in advance. Submissions can be accepted as long as they are legibly written, but typed copies, diskettes, and e-mail submissions are greatly preferred. Please e-mail submissions to gadfly@sjca.edu. Meeting called to order at 11:49 am Discussion of Fencing budget at 11:50Mr. Schuler, arch.on, present Morion to grant $908.725 by Mr. Butler Motion seconded by Mr. Fernandes Motion passes at 11:57 Discussion of King William's Players budget at 11:58- Ms. Wilson, archon, present Motion to preliminarily grant $1783.54 by Mr. Kunkel Motion seconded by Ms. Walsh Morion Fails Morion to preliminarily grant $1787.00 Morion seconded by Mr. Thompson Motion passes at 12:08 Decision to cutadditional$147.71 at 12:09 Discussion of Reality budget at 12:15 Discussion of Gadfly budget at 12: 16 Decision to cancel unused $2000.00 check from last semester at 12:19 Discussion of Gaming Oub budget at12:22 Motion to revisit budget by Ms. Walsh Motion seconded by Mr. Maher Motion passes at 12:24 Motion to grant $100.00 by Mr. Maher Morion seconded by Ms. Walsh Morion passes at 12:26 Discussion of Fencing budget at 12:27 Motion to cut $300.00 by Mr. Lobo Dias Morion seconded by Mr. Bled Morion passes at 12:28 Discussion of Reality budget at 12:29 Motion to cut $2500.00 by Mr. Fernandes Motion Fails at 12:30 Discussion of Senior Prank budget at 12:31 Motion to cut $500.00 by Mr. Thompson Motion seconded by Ms. Dodd Motion passes at 12:34 Discussion of Reality budget at 12:34 Motion to cutaddi:tional$700.00 by Mr. Maher Motion seconded by Mr. Parrott Motion passes at 12:35 Motion to adjourn meeting by Mr. Butler at 12:36 Motion seconded by Mr. Fernandes Meeting adjourned at 12:36 On Personal Responsibilty and the Nanny State f(y Timotl!J Davis, '11 By now a number of students have likely heard the story how five students were stopped during their icebound frolic Friday afternoon of Long Weekend. I was one of these five, so naturally I thought Polity should hear the story from the horse's mouth. I hope to convince you that the current state of interfering, «weknow-what's-best-for-you", nanny state idealism is clinging, cloying, and absurd; that we as legal adults should be able to take full responsibility for our actions and not resort to petty litigation when we are harmed by our decision to take risk or (far more likely) stupidity, and we should possess the freedom to accompany such responsibility. The facts: it's been cold on campus for the past few days, and the college creek has been frozen for at least a week. My roommate and I decided that, weather permitting, we would attempt an ice walk. It would have to be soon, we realized, for we may never get this chance again. He, being the safety-oriented type, took many precautions: he researched ice walking and the dangers associated thereof, donned a drysuit, and attached himself to a safety State continued on nextpage 2 The Gadf!y �State continuedfrom previompage line. I did none of these things, merely trusting the ice's strength to hold me for it held him, a heavier-built person than I. Naturally, the ice held both of us. It probably could have held 700 pounds, for it held me, (115) him (165), and a friend (-175) without cracking or groaning in the slightest. All of us knewwhatwewere doing. I have been icewa1king for ten years, first on shallow creeks back in Illinois, than on rivers and lakes. I am familiar with ice,, knowing how to recognize splitting and cracking. We were very cautious at firstaft.er all, itwas fifty degrees and the surface of the ice was slick; parts of itwere slushy. Jeff went first, slamming a pole into the ice to test its strength and spreading his weight out like a polar bear when he was doubtful After crossing the creek and exploring the icy limits, we gained courage and had great fun, frolicking, sliding, and running on College Creek. Two more students joined us and our jubilation was immense. It seemed too good to be true. Security showed up when we had been out for about forty five minutes and hollered for us to return to the boat ramp. Two State cops were there as well, and nobody was very polite. •'.All it takes is one crack and you're dead!" barked one cop, displaying two things: a) he knew nothing about ice in general and b) had no clue how to avoid dying if one does fall in. «You are endangering yourself and others!" said another one. Campus security was pretty good about it until I laughed when they stepped on a metal and jumped, for it sounded akin to cracking ice (this did not improve my standing in their eyes). At any rate they took our names and informed us that we would be meeting with Ms. Kronsberg in the near future. The State cops told us what we were doing was illegal, «the law of the land", he called it. That is the record of our little adventure. Now for some more facts: nowhere in the student handbook is icewalking forbidden. The relevant clause states: «Because College Creek is a tidal creek, ice skating is dangerous. Cracks and soft spots appear with the changing of the tide conditions. Students are urged not to skate on the creek." Furthermore, I do not think I can reasonably be expected to know Maryland State Law on the matter, even if the police officer was honest with me. Ms. Kronsberg sent an email to Polity at 1:1OPM, which I did not read and of which I had absolutely no knowledge, though our frolic took place an hour aft.er the email was composed. The email further did not have the form of an express command, either: cc ••• Please do not tty to walk on the ice on the creek; it is too thin to be safe, and the water is quite cold enough to cause hypothermia quickly." However good the intentions were, the message was quite false; the ice is four inches thick near the shoreline and thickens farther out on the creek; it is perfectly safe provided one uses common sense and areasonable amount of caution. The Creek is melted, and due to Ms. Kronsbei:g's edict,itis quitelikclythatsucha chance will never occur again, but the situation illustrates a growing interference on the part of officials and the attitude of Somebody Else knowing what is best for us. Two possible reasons for this exist and I will gloss them both. The first, most probable and defensible, is litigation. In an age when a customer can file suit againstMcDonalds (and win) because she spilled coffee on herself is a sign that we are rapidly abandoning personal responsibility. If this is why the administration acts the way it does, ie. to avoid absurd yet successful lawsuits, their reaction is both perfectly justified and tamer than I should expect. We can't have our cake and eat it too, Polity. If we want everyone to be responsible for our own safety, we can expect to be treated like little children for the rest of our lives, and thus should live appropriately, taking no risk that our superiors deem unnecessary. Do we want this, being instructed in every action, everything being decided for us so we won't hurt ourselves and hold them responsible? I find such a scenario horribly repellant and unbecoming of man. The State continued on nextpage The Gadfly 3 �~I I State continuedfrom previous page probl= lies deep, with insurance cow.pany policies and rutted fur into our own reluctance to accept responsibility of anything that illuminates our shortsighted and foolish nature. Though the fi..'"St scenario is almost certainly the reason why such actions are now prohibited, I will lightly treat the second as well, for it makes me feel better. If you wish to live forever under the responsibility and care of Someone Else, ifyou never want to experience exhilarating, frightening, adrenaline-rushing excitement, stay with the first scenario and keep your head down like a good peon. I shan't, for I am rapidly approaching emancipation, and, no longer being covered by my parent's insurance, am free from everyone's responsibility save my own. This means that either I would sue the college when I hurt myself or pay my medical bills on my own. I would not sue the college for anything in which I acted as agent; the college is perfectly clear about the inherent risk involved in climbing buildings, walking on ice, and such things. But if I, going against the better wishes of the administration, and being unable to file suit against them, wish to do something they regard as stupid, why should they interfere? It cannot blemish them in the least if some idiot sophomore fulls through the ice and drowns, since i..gns warning against such activities are clearly posted on College Creek and in the student handbook. Thus, if I am w'Jling to accept sole responsibility for the consequences of my actions, I should be free do engage in activity that enda..."lge,_'"S my person if I should so choose, and the college should respect my decision. They cannot know what I should do in any given situation, or what is best for me; such a relationship is possible only with the divine. All of us here at the college have atmined the age of reason for about ten years now. We are (or atleast should be) adults. We should be mature enough to analyze a situation, assess risk, and act appropriately. If we are able to do so and hoid none :responsible but ourselves, we should have freedoms corresponding to our responsibility. If not, we should not try to act like adults when we have the maturity of a toddler. ...- 4 The Gac!f!y An At Least Slightly Rational Response to Sophia Urusova's article, "Life and Deah [sic] in the News" Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Being Called a Feminazi Bonerkiller. by Kea W:tlson, '09 In the interest of full disclosure, I might as well get the obvious out of the way first: I am, without a doubt, pro-choice. I read lots of ranty feminist blogs and I'm thrilled that Obama reversed the global gag rnle on abortion providers, and in general, I could easily be stereotyped a class-A Vlhiny n""-wave women's libber (though if you talk to me for more than 10 minutes, you will :realize that this isn't true and I actually love make up, boys and general conflict-avoidance.) I did not agree with the opinions expressed in Ms. U ni.sow's a.."iide on abortion, euthanasia and the government's role in legislating these medical procedures; I don't know her or anything about her, besides her position on this pa.'"licular issue and that her Facebook photo is a very beautiful picture of a tree. This is not intended as a response to any of the above. When I finished reading Life and Deah [sic] in the News in last month's issue, my immediate reaction was not righteous indignation. It could more accurately be summarized by slamming my face against the computer keyboard and interjecting a few exclamation points (i.e: adsfj#@lzy$&a!!!?!l??!!), followed by an hour or t"Wo of more rational consideration. It wasn't the content of Ms. Urusova's article that turned me into a bewildered cartoon character; 90% of my reaction was focused on the last senter1ce, which read: Think carefuf!y aboutyour own opinion: on a word mg rest the difference between life and death. I should be even more specific: my astonishment ste=ed from the fact that the Gadfly had printed this last sentence, ~ith all its ~ person pronouns and o:minous colons intact. Only a few months ago, our dean issued a campus-wide apology for inadve..'i:ently allowing an Obama-happy lecturer to court St John's voters; I have seen hoards of freshmen weeping after being reamed out for decrying the death penalty in their Herodotus seminars; this is, after all, the only college I've ever heard of which requires any even remotely political flyer posted on campus to print a disclaimer right under the words ''.Milk and Cookies Will Be Provided." I have no qualms about people expressing their political opinions in the Gadfly, and I believe it's one of the few places that should provide an outlet for students to freak out outside of the constraints we agree to place upon ourselves in class. In fact, Lift and Deah was immediately followed by a really wonderful political article by Andrew N..ize on the necessity (or lack thereof) of political action and his own impetus (or lack thereof) to protest. The parenthetical statements are impor"..ant even though Mize peppered his (frankly adorable) account of paper towel boycotting with his own share of "don't-you-want to-s" and "somedayyou-will-s," his argument at its core remained just that: an argument, with at least two sides and a bunch ofreference to other opinions in really delicious program books mixed in, and he did it all in the context of a personal narrative and made no auspices otherwise. He did not ask us to "think care.fully" about rising up in violent protest; he did not stress that the :resul~ of our consideration could be "the difference bet"Ween life and death." I'm glad that Ms. Urusova vn:ote her article. It's an important side of the issue and an opinion that many people that I respect greatly share, and everyone on every side of the uber-icosahedron that is the issue of abortion should make it their responsibility to research and understand every other existent side. But I wish she'd written it differently. I wish she'd discussed wf.y she considers abortion a matter of life and death; I wish she had spoken about her personal reasons for coming to her opllrions and what the importance of her faith was in the formation of her political beliefs; and I wish that I could have written a different article than this one, one that gave my side of the issue and reflected my own pretty damn strong con Response continued on page 11 �Dialogue continuedfrom .frontpage ecumenism to germirul.te. We are lea.ming that the very word, ecumenical, has older uses than ecclesiastical ones. Like Robinson Crusoe, we are finding footprints on the sandy shore of what had sometimes seemed a lonely, desert island; and, like him, we are increasingly eager to meet our brother. Indeed, our century is a dangerous one to be alive in, but it is an expectant one as well. Shall we "search and destroy:' or shall we engage in dialogue? Surely, this question does not apply only to Vietnam, or only to Americans. The Age of Violence - the century we live in - has been marked, let us recall here, by much searching and destroying, by many "body counts," by much "bagging'' of prisoners, all over the globe. It seems possible that the most relevant sort of dialogue, though perhaps the most difficult, for twentieth century men to achieve and especially for Americans to achieve is the Socratic. For this difficult form of dialogue, there are luckily a number of models in Plato's Dialogues. To model [our] dialogues on those that Socrates incited and took part in is a dangerous counsel of something precious close to perfection. But I would merely urge that Socrates' behavior "in dialogue" is a good star to hitch one's wagon to. At the minimum, it is a good guide to the reefs on which most really good dialogues are wrecked All these reefs welcome hungrily those who substitute the kind of discussion Socrates called "eristic" as a substitute for the kind he called "dialectic." In Book I of Plato's Republic Thrasymachus uses eristic; Socrates, dialectic. Thra.symachus' pw:pose is to win points and to win applause. The pw:pose of Socrates is to tty, through dialectical discussion with Thrasymachus and others, to understand better the essential nature of justice. Each of the two men makes a choice of weapons appropriate to his pw:pose. The rifilngvoice, the personal accusation, the withering scom, the crushing sarcasm, the panic at the possibility of being outmaneuvered, the sweating, the unaccustomed blush of a normally unblushing champion sophist, the volubility that tries to shore up a crumbling argument and to ward off the disgrace of refutation, the love of one's own opinions precisely because they are one's own, the vanity that replaces love of truth with love for victory are all exemplified byThrasymachus. What Socrates displays towards Thrasymachus is courtesy. He treats him not as an enemy, but as a valued colleague in the mutual search for understanding. Socrates is, as it were, the personification for purposes of discourse of the love for one's neighbor that Judaism and Christianity prescribe. And the same love sometimes infuses his courteous questions with irony, because such irony helpfully invited Thrasymachus to rid himself of the false opinions he harbored. So he is never fearful that he will "lose," precisely because he is not trying to •'win," and does not meet these flat opinions with other flat opinion, but with the ironical question. Just as we are taught to hate not the sinner but the sin, especially if it is our own, so Socrates never attacks Thrasymachus. Indeed, he never attacks his ignorance and presumptuousness. He merely dissolves the opinions Thrasymachus spouts so loudly, so rapidly, and so volubly. That Thrasymachus Dialogue continued on page 10 Bringi11g Worl<l t/1roug/1 Art & Books THE 'VORLD TREE GA.LLER\" World arts & crafts~ antu,ues attdpaintings. Artistic, f air~ttaded hand made unique items from developing countries • . .• eaturmg k.zsn--stolJ.t, sculpturesfrom K~nya, Jinshan Peasant Paintingsfrol1t China and works ofSharma,, Calcutta streetpaintet 'CJ' r World books on mulii-Open 7 days .a week cultural issues. from 10.30 to 6.3EJJ Colleetions ofworld often late. All majot proverbs, pa,r(lbles & 57 MarylllndAve .credit (!ards .a,ccept(!.r/, teachi1tg sh()rt ~iories. (off State Circli!) Phone (24hrs): (202) 78.7 0112 Website: www.worldtreegallery.net. The Gadfly 5 1 I �Mere Sophistry: Such Sweet Sorrow l!J Robert Sale, '10 Some say, gentle reader, that all good things must come to an end. This, of course, is usually coupled with the cynical corollary that no bad things, or at least no annoying nuisances, ever come to an end. I have written this column with the hope and intention of shaking up preconceived notions, exposing another perspective, and generally making things hard on the dialectical dogmatists, the entrenched establishment., and the callous cynics. This article will be no exception in that vein. This article will continue in that hallowed tradition, proving once and for all that some bad things do end, that some annoying nuisances are terminated, and that the world can, in fact, change for the better. For, dear reader, this will be the final Mere Sophistry column you will ever have to cast your eyes upon in opening a new issue of the Gadfly. Undoubtedly, some of you will be shocked at this announcement; perhaps you assumed that this column would remain in print simply to spite your sense of good journalism and give you endless fodder for excoriating the entire publication in which it is printed. Perhaps you thought that good sophistry could never be brought down by the demons of dialectic. Perhaps you thought that the Gadfly had to stay in print and that someone must write for it in order for its existence to continue, so therefore I was compelled by the telos of the Gadfly to keep writing. None of these, unfortunately, are true. Considering the first point., it was never my intent to spite anyone besides the doubters and dialecticians when I wrote my column. I maintain that my aim was to entertain; I merely thought that by adding my meager contributions in my own way, giving a voice to an altogether unvoiced philosophy, I would make merriment., create conversation, and endear myself to those possibly like-minded. It seems that instead of endearing myself, however, I have done the reverse: my article is a constant target and a symbol of the widelyperceived decline of the Gadfly's quality. For that., I apologize to whoever has been offended by the content or existence of my article. 6 The Gadf!y Know too, that dialectic can and does bring good sophistry down. From Socrates until the present., the orphan-tramplers have seized upon sophists who secure no support and have doomed them to ignominy. I am not the first., nor will I be the last., defender of sophistry to be defeated by dialectic. My strength of purpose has failed in the face of the apathy imbued by dialectic's direct influence. I will now address those who thought that the final cause of the Gadfly's existence would compel me to continue writ- ing: I am afraid you are sadly mistaken. I wrote this column for the Gadfly simply because it would publish my writing. There needed to be no fervent belief in its inherent goodness for me to continue writing. I wrote because I chose to and because I thought it would be enjoyed. The realization of my mistake means I won't write any more sophistry. If you believe the Gadfly to be a publication worth existing, it is your obligation to keep its existence going. There are others who, I imagine, don't care at all. Theyweren't shocked, theyweren't upset or overjoyed when they read the final sentence of the firstparngniph. Perhaps they didn't even get that far. They read the Gadfly or my article simply as disposable entertainment., not to be thought about or commented upon. This apathy is principally what kills the soul of a sophist and certainly something that disheartens any writer, journalist., or editor. I believe that if something is worth reading, it's worth talking about I don't believe that I am alone here in this regard. Doubtless there are some among you reading this who have been supportive of me in my endeavor to entertain. It is for you that I wrote this column and it is because ofyou that I have such difficulty hanging up the proverbial quill I wish to thank all of you who, for the past year or so, have encouraged me, come to me with quotes from my article that tickled you, or even publicly defended this column. Even if you enjoyed it only in the silence of your heart., thank you for being a fan. On the other hand, I know that there are some of you reading this who didn't like what I wrote. Perhaps you had the courage to tell me personally or make it known publicly that you thought my article was a weekly waste of space; perhaps you kept your silence in apathy, perhaps you made your feelings known in a closed circle. To the first group, I wish to thank you for being forthright., honest., and at the very least caring enough about what is written for public consumption at this school that you would take to task someone you thought was doing a bad job of it. To the latter two, I have only this to say: you won't have Bobbykins to kick around anymore, because, gentlemen, this is my last sophistry article. Digression aside, what the entire argument for my termination of this article boils down to is that I feel as though the people have spoken. The majority seem to believe that sophistry is not in the best interest of the Polity, let alone the Gadfly. Yes, it is true that a good sophist will blaze a trail, take the path less traveled by, ride a cliche into the sunset., and all that jazz. But it was a Roman sophist who once said, "Vox populi, vox dei." For all you Greek scholars out there, that translates to "The voice of the people is the voice of God." Dare I, then, argue with the voice of God? I think not. I was in J.B.; I know better. Thus the conclusion is clear, and following the first figure, I will willingly relinquish my title as Sophist General of the Campus. Of course, the corollary to this proposition is that you will have to relinquish your title of gentle reader. You'll have to go back to being whatever you were before, and I suppose I'll have to amuse myself otherwise, perhaps writing the occasional dirty limerick here, the incendiary acrostic there. But then again, I've always thought the Gadfly needed a sports column... .,...- �------=-1 Dodd on the Quad: Campus Survey l!J Kirstie Dodd, '10 Staff Columnist This Wednesday after the room lottery I overheard the following conversation between two Chase-Stone residents: Stoner #1: I say, old chap, I really came out on top at this room lottery. Can you believe I pulled a top-five number? Now I can live in Chase-Stone again. This is the fourth year in a row! Stoner #2: Top-five number? Me too! I say, though, the bloody ceilings in our dormitory are fartoo high. The white space practically swal/ows the collection of 1f!1h century Japanese prints I have hung up. And what is the point of having ornate fireplaces if they do not work?" Stoner #2: I'm going barmywith some of the bollocks that happens in that dorm. Last Tuesday I tried to shut the blinds on one of my eastern-exposure Monticello windows and they broke'. Stoner #1: Bugger it. Call B&G and demand them to be fixed. Of course, they were sporting jeweltone smoking jackets and monocles. You might be appalled, but this housing pretension is a relatively common symptom of Stoners. It's all that palatial luxury and the proximity to the croquet field; they begin to feel like they are at St. John's College, Oxford circa 1912. Stoners might revel in this anachronism, but the rest of us that live in dorms near the quad writhe from the reminders of a throwback era: cold showers, variable room temperatures, and catawampus masonry. H you did not come out so lucky in the room lottery and are unsure of what your living situation will be, have no fear. I have created a handy upperclassmen dormitory guide to help you in your quest for your ideal living situation next year. Choose wisely. Let us begin our campus survey with The Burbs, aka Spector and Gilliam. Spector has a laundry room in the basement as well as a movie room, while Gilliam boasts the best view of College Creek on campus. Both dorms have private bathrooms (a definite upgrade if you're migrating from a freshman dorm ... no more uncomfortable chats with uninhibited stall-talkers), balconies for smoking and socializing, good spots to watch fall kunai on the soccer pitch, full kitchens on the first floor, and two kitchenettes per floor. Unfortunately, living in The Burbs is kind of like living in a bad apartment complex. The walls are thin, and any decibel of noise leaks through the doors (which automatically shut- it gets annoying). It's psychologically distant from the hub of campus, which is nice when you want to get away from people. But trust me, it can be a real she-dog during the winter months when you have to struggle down that wind-tunnel of a brick path with backpack stuffed full of tutorial paraphernalia. Parties there always happen unexpectedly. They blow in as squalls and build up to tempestuous levels within moments. I've never been able to figure out how it happens. People cram in the tiniest common room areas, draw heinous things on the chalkboards, leave their stuff, and disappear. The parties are wild, but they disband pretty quickly because of public safety. H you want to live in a single, you might try Campbell Its "classic" architecture and black and white checkered marble floor in the atrium is a brochure-photographer's dream. It's conveniently located on the quad. The halls are nice and institutional-asylum wide-great for practicing your Whiffle ball skills. The needy prospies housed in Campbell are a great way to make friends if you're lonely. Though the basement is posh with those leather couches, plan a small vacation on them if you're wishing to do laundry-everyone and their uncle use the Campbell basement for laundry. You could live in The Treehouse also known as Paca-Carroll, where St. John'; College meets the Swiss Family Robinson. Tra- ditionally a sophomore dorm, it boasts a labyrinthine floor plan, four passable bathrooms an adjoining patio, and The Loft, a large spa~ for five brave people who feel confident that they will not kill each other before the end of the year. The common room is quaint and has a working fireplace. If your olfaction is particularly sensitive, stay away from this dorm. In one day alone I smelled sushi rice burnt popcorn, cat pee, wet clay, and gym shoe: wafting down the hallways. The Submarine or Pinkney is the greatest spot for voyeurs itching for a peek at quad shenanigans, other than, of course, the 2nd Randall common room. Its moniker 'The Submarine" is simple truth; there are no common rooms and the exposed piping and long halls makes the place feel like a huge nuclear submarine. The bathrooms are unarguably the most disgusting on campus (I've seen worse at particular times, but Pinkney wins for consistency). Parties here are usually confined to singles or a group of singles at one end, but sometimes they get raucous when people are testing their biceps in the Pinkney Challenge. The best thing about Pinkney is the inter-class interaction. It's one of the few dorms on campus that accommodates every single grade. If you were lucky and you pulled a top twenty number in the lottery, though, become a Stoner. Chase-Stone has it all; the architecture, the windows, the laundry and bike rack, the croquet sets, the common room fireplace. Though your friends in other dorms might ostracize you because of your Bloomsbury Group accent and newly acquired refined tastes, why should you care? You've got wood floors under your brogued Oxford shoes. ~ The Gadfly 7 �Poetry Corner: The Poet Laureate (self-proclaimed) of St. John's latest! As Poet Laureate (self proclaimed) of St. John's College - Annapolis, it is a duty to present for the Polity, not only wo:rks of a morally edifying nature, but also works that educate in other ways, such as historically. The following epic is based on an article found in one of the earliest known editions of The Gadfly published in the ancient murky days of the school's founding, when scnbes labored to copy the issue onto parchment ... and when bored Johnni.es would gather round the fire on a Saturday evening while roasting the latest victim of a local witch-hunt. Alexander Arbuthnot byJerome Dausman, Graduate Institue Cantankerous and obstinate was Alexander Arbuthnot. Are you not the Arbuthnot who at our tutors twice has shot, and threw a cat into the mix when Irish stew our cook did fix? Wnat if I am or if I'm naught? snapped Alexander Arbuthnot. We have a warrant for your arrest for being crass and quite a pest, for acting cruel to man and beast, and ruining our Sunday feast. (But never quite obsequious; that was his dad, Demetrius.) We'll drag you now to Stone's hot Chasement and there exact your due abasement. The Polity has lit the fire to give you consequences dire. 8 The Gadfly But I've not said I'm Arbuthnot! Hands offl ls he the man you've got? Do you contest that you are he? for this is what they said you'd bel Thus do you prove you're who we seek by answers neither mild nor meek; but harshly you disclaim you're he who roaring on the fire must be. Or if you will, just truly name the real identity you claim. Alasl To be or not to bel Your logic does imperil me. If I confess I'm Arbuthnot then bound am I for embers hot. Yet protest strongiy 'gainst t1:lli; fate and still I'm bound unto the grate. The moral: Johnnies listen clear and you will not Stone's Chasement fear: don't take shots at tutor's hats or kick their lovely tabby cats. Apologia The Johnnies that will read this I know are wise and abie to complain about the logic I've contained within this fable. You will tell me tliat old Alex can commit one little sin: he can lie about his name and ipso facto not give in. But all Johnnies undergraduate and Johnnies who are G-I despite how crass and vile we be ... as Johnnies we wont lie! were .rainbows and happiness everwvhere? �Athletes of the Week February 20 (From Top) Mr.Borders Ms.Brown The Gadfly 9 �Dialogue continuedfrom page 5 recognizes the mortal danger in Socrates' questions and, indeed, that painful scalpel, irony, that Socrates uses on on his opinions (and consequently, given 1brasymachus' pride of authorship where his expressed opinions are concerned, on himself, his honor, and his fame as a sophist) comes out in 1brasymachus' sarcastic allusion to "your famous irony." That Socrates knew that his irony "put to the question," a euphemism the Spanish Inquisition would later in history use for the act of torturing the accused, is shown by his likening himself to a gadfly that stung the noble steed, the Athenian democracy. That the steed knew too is shown in Plato's Apology, where Socrates was sentenced to death for putting Athens to the question. The many dialectical conversations in Plato's Dialogues suggest several rules of thumb that might be profitably used by [students], or at least more frequently followed. One hesitates to suggest rules of thumb for a kind of discussion that is essentially spontaneous. But it is hard to see how these particular rules could stifle spontaneity: * The exchange of declarative monologues tends to be dialectically unproductive. The effort to be too complete is often self-defeating. An adumbration often contributes more to dialectic than a rotund speech. Brevity stimulates dialectic. * I take it that Herodotus' "anecdote" that the Persians deliberated while drunk and decided while sober implies that in the early stages of a dialectic exchange a "wild idea" is often more fruitful that a prematurely prudent opinion. The imaginative and the unexpected are frequent ingredients of Socrates' style, though they are often introduced with an (Ironic) apology. Since [students are] t:rylng to see more deeply into current problems but are free of the burden of imminent, practical, political action, they might profitably stay "drunk'' longer than the King of Kings and his royal counsellors could risk staying. *The Socratic dialectic has another code of manners than the dinner party, where religion and politics are sometimes forbidden for fear that rising passions may damage "social" intercourse, and where interrupting a speaker and even a longwinded empty speech, is forbidden. In 10 The Gadfly dialectic, a quick question is analogous to "point of order" in political assemblies. "Do I understand you to be saying ... ?'' always has the floor. * Even these thumb-rules may seem guaranteed to produce bedlam. And, indeed, when they are first tried, they generally do produce it. But inexperienced dancers on a ballroom floor and inexperienced skaters on an ice rink also collide. Experience brings a sixth sense in Socratic dialectic too. The will of self-insistence gives way to the will to learn. *In dialectic, ''partic:ipational democracy" consists in everybody's listening intently; it does not consist in what commercial television calls equal time. When a good basketball team has the ball, its members do not snatch the ball from each other but support the man who has it, and the man who has it passes it to a teammate whenever a pass is called for by the common purpose of the team. But in dialectic, as opposed to basketball, the "opposing team" is composed only of the difficulties all men face when they try to understand. The point is that, in dialectic, it does not matter whose mouth gets used by the dialectical process, provided all are listening intently and exercise the freedom to interrupt with a question if they do not understand. On the other hand, reading or writing while "in dialogue" is a grave offense against the common purpose of all, not because they diminish the number of speaking mouths but because they diminish the number of listening ears. (Doodling and smoking are permissible aides to listening! * Whatever the touted merits of pluralism in democratic society today (and pluralism is, minimally, better than shooting each other with mail-order submachine guns or even than legislating on religious beliefs), the agreement to disagree is a disgraceful defeat if it means surrendering the hope of agreement through further dialectic. Even Socrates, on rare occasions, countenanced postponement of the struggle to a more propitious occasion. * Perhaps the first rule of Socratic dialectic was laid down by Socrates: that we should follow the argument wherever it leads. Presumably, this means that some sorts of relevance that a court pleading should exhibit (and, even more the forensic eloquence that pleading encourages) are irrelevant to dialectic. The deliberate ~er, and even more the ponderous manner, are mere impediments. The name of the game is not instructing one's fellows, or even persuading them, but thinking with them and trusting the argument to lead to understanding, sometimes to very unexpected understandings. *The chairman [of the Fellows of the Center for the Study of Democratic Institutions in Santa Barbara] recently abandoned the practice of recognizing speakers in the order in which their raised hands requested the floor. The abandonment of this device, so necessary in parliamentary procedure and even in small committees if they have not learned to discuss dialectically, was an immense step towards Socratic dialogue. The chairman, [like St. John's tutors] now has the more delicate task of intervening, preferably by question, only when he believes that there is a misunderstanding or an unprofitable (not a profitable) confusion, a confusion thatin his judgment bids fair not to right itself. * [Students], however, will need to be close listeners, in the event that we take Socrates' advice; we shall, indeed, have to be closer listeners than we now are. We are likely, if we meet that obligation, to attain to a level of friendship that not many men attain to. Aristotle, we may recall, held that friendship could be achieved on three levels. The lowest level is that of what we Americans call "contacts," a level on which two men are useful to each other and exchange favors and services. On a higher level, two men can find pleasure in each other's company: they amuse each other. On the highest level, each man is seeking the true good of the other. On thatlevel [students] would be, even more satisfyingly than now, seeking in common to understand. We share the friendship, or philia, that Aristotle thought must exist between the citizens of any republic if it was to be worthy of men. It would certainly exist, and without sentimentality, in any genuine republic of learning. And it would heighten the courtesy that any good and rigorous dialectic demands. Dialogue continued on next page �Dialogue continuedfrom previous page * There is only one, final rule of thumb that I would offer: When free minds seek together for greater understanding, they tend to move, as the mind of Socrates so characteristically moved with playfulness and a sense of the comic. This, perhaps, is because men are most like the gods when they think; because, nevertheless, they are emphatically not gods; and because, for godlike animals, this fact is so thoroughly funny. The truly relevant jest is never out of order, so long as we can pursue our dialogue with high seriousness and with relevant playfulness. Were we to apply the ten rules of thumb sketched above, we would cerr..ainly produce many of those brief interludes of bedlam when dialectical collisions occur, even though these moments of vocal st.atic would decrease in length and in number as we gained practice with free dialectic. Such static is not dialogue's worst problem. Plato and Shakespeare both speak of the mind's eye, that eye that alone sees intellectual light. I suggest there is a mind's ear too, a listening, mindful ear. I suggest that the chief reason that conversations deteriorate is that the mind's earfails. ~ Response continuedjrom page 4 victions and research on this matter. Really. It would have been crazy awesome and thorough I might have even included a picture of Kathleen Hanna in a biki"li If there is anything I have come to believe (though I will absolutely not say that I know any+Jllng, ever) after the fucemeltingly arduous trek that has been 3 '12 years at Sr. John's, it's that our actions are always expressive of ourselves. When we endeavor to take political action, it is always for personal reasons, if only due to the totally gross existential problem that Hume and his accompanying goons beat us over the head with during junior and senior year-that we can only experience the world in the context of our own tiny little heads and our silly little lives. If we want to recruit anyone to our causewhether that cause is the anti-abortion movement, the that-dude-totallydoesn't-understand-Nietzsche movement during next Thursday's semiruu:, or what have you-I believe that we should, as with everything, begin with ourselves. We should examine our own opinions, crawl around on every side of the argument, and if we're worth our salt, get a little messy and confused in the process before we emerge with even a semblance of an opinion. I hope that the Gadfly makes more of an effort .in the future to edit articles like these, to encourage its authors to avoid political calls to arms (peaceful or no) and pursue our characteristic (and in my opinion, totally fantastic) St. Johnsian self-reflection. At the very least, I'd like to read articles that don't assume I'd jo.in their march without it. Editor's Note: Once again The Ga4f!y would like to repeat its commitment to printing all ef the Polity's thoughts, regardless as to whether or not thry appear to be eioquent!J composed; it is unfartunatefy not within our rights to farce the kind ef se!f-reflectirm that Ms. Wilson wishes to see.~ The Pyschic Cats Dear Gadfly Readers, The other day, while purchasing aphids at Pet Co, our eyes were caught by two adorable kittens. On a whim, we pur- chased them and smuggled them into our dorms, against school policy. That rught, as we lay .in our [respective] bed[s], we heard a tiny, squeaking, "Hello!" At first we each thought it was the other [from our separate rooms], but we soon discovered it was the cats! They explained to us that we possessed the gift of catspeak, and could communicate with cats (Attic Cat., not WI.cat). Needless to say, we were pretty pleased with our newfound talents, until the cats told us they possessed a gift that way eclipsed our own! These cats weren't just any cats ... they were psychic cats! Snargles and Tizzma.n, as they prefer to be called (Fluffy and Ginger are their slave names) have psychic powers and are able to tell the future. We came to an agreement to use their special powers for a greater good, and to share them v.>ith the polity to better the lives of each and every St. John's student. That's when we decided to start Psychic Cat Hotline! You, Gadfly readers can write in with questions about your future and the cats will answer them. Do not doubt the mystical powers of these cats! Your Cat Translators, Ernalie C1amage and :Michael Lacy Dear Psychic Cat Hotline!, A few weeks ago, my cat, Toby, up and disappeared. Toby wasn't just any cat! He wandered onto our porch the day our grandma died, and took her phce in our hearts ever since. Toby ioved milk, just like Grammy! Much like our nana, he was an avid Keno player and always meowed at the criminal on Murder She Wrote. Please, psychic cats, help us find Toby! You are my only hope. -Chas Lamprey Z% Dear Chas, We have consulted our oracle, and your catis dead. -Tizzman Dear Psychic Cat Hotline!, Do all cats go to heaven? -Damien Lopez Dear Damien, Unlike human beings, cats do not have a heaven or a hell Rather, upon death, they are all t.a:xedermied and sent to the kitten and butterfly menagerie at the home of Mariah Carey, as seen onMTV's Cribs. Here, ¥...s. Carey pets the cats whenever she feals a stirring .in her empty uterus, and they are periodically spritzed with a rn.ixtu.re of shine serum, shoe polish, and vinega.r by her husband, Mrs. Nick Cannon. -Snargles Psychic Carl Fact of the Week Violin strings used to be made of cat guts, but not anymore! This came not from advances in the humane treatment of cats, but from the discovery of the elegant acoustic quality of manatee tendons. The Ga4f!y 11 �THE GADFLY St. John's College P.O. Box 2800 Annapolis, MD 21404 <Tl-IE I:DI'rVGSf -P;I~E 12 The Gar!fly � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Thorn, Christopher (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXX, Issue 11 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-02-20 Description An account of the resource Volume XXX, Issue 11 of The Gadfly. Published February 20, 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 30.11 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/5cf273c60b09770d0ccc6bd2891b11da.pdf 3255c01bc2a2e0244ab0cb3fedb781af PDF Text Text ~AD FLY VOLUMEXXI,N°.I ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE, ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 MONDAY, 31 AUGUST2009 I was attached to this city by the godthough it seems a ridiculous thing to say as upon a great and noble horse which was somewhat sluggish because of its size and needed to be stirred up by a kind of GADFLY. It is to fulfill so1Ile such function that I believe the god has placed me in the city. I never cease to rouse each and every one of you, to persuade and reproach you all day long and everywhere I find myself • 1n your cotnpany. Socrates, Plato's Apologia (30d) �THE GADFLY Staff Senior Editor Kirstie Dodd Junior Editor Patrick Beeby Layout Editor Elizabeth Spagnoletti Layout Consultant Linden Duffee The Gadff_y: Four More Years! Because in a Floridian classroom long ago, a ten year old Kirstie Dodd decided a provocative MerriamWebster dictionary definition would forever be the best way to begin any piece of writing, we shall begin this new-and-hopefully-improved Gadfl.y with the following definition: Phoenix (n): a legendary bird that burned itselfto ashes on a pyre and rose up to live again. This little phoenix of a newspaper has changed hands, had its ups -and downs, crashed and burned numerous times, gone from frying pan to fire, Business Manager and every other overused idiom in Marin Skokandic between. Over the years it has been the premier weathercock of student Production Manager life at St. John's, turning this way Flash Gordon and that in the shifting winds of our ongoing dialogue. This Gadfly you Photographers hold in your hands is a part of that Chloe Ginsburg tradition. With deep remembrance of the past, we look forward to the Publisher future St. John's number one student St. John's Print Shop publication. The Gadfly, risen from the ashes, dredged from a festering mire Contributing to this Issue of apathy, is ready to once again take Rachel Bargis Brendan McGivney flight with your help. John Blechl Andrew Mize And since this is already sounding Jerome Dausman JP Snyder like a corny Obama campaign speech, Kirstie Dodd Socrates let'.s get to the point of this editor Bryce Jacobsen letter. The Gadfly, like public radio and Sesame Street, is made with Founded in 1980, The Gadffy is the contributions from readers like you! student weekly distributed free to over Ink up your quill or whatever you have 600 students, faculty, and staff of the to do and send some articles to gadfly@ Anna.polis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Board of Visisjca.edu. The deadline is FRIDAY tors and Governors, and the offrices NIGHT at 11:59 pm. The paper goes at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. to print on Monday morning, and Opinions expressed within are the sole by Monday afternoon there will be a responsibility of the author(s). The Gad- fresh copy waiting in the coffee shop ffy reserves the right to accept, reject, for you to read instead of your seminar and edit submissions in any way necesreading. sary to publish the most professional., Here are a few things we would informative, and thought-provoking love to see in The Gadfly this year: newspaper which circumstances at St. •Printed word will become the John's permit. medium to foster communication between different classes and Copy Editor Ken Cosgrove 2 THE GADFLY tutors. •Students will be able to check up on things happening in freshman lab, sophomore language, junior math etc. and track conversations about what's happening on campus in Mellon and McDowell. •Healthy debates about topics will be promoted in The Gadfl.y, ranging from "non-Program" topics and current events (both worldwide and campus) to every Program topic. •Information will be spread about the Student Committee for Instruction, the Delegate Council, and other campus clubs, hopefully getting more people involved in the things that keep our school alive. •The talents of our diverse community will be highlighted and celebrated. So maybe the world of the newspaper is dying and maybe we're paving the road to journalistic hell with these good intentions, but so be it! At least we're not soulless and glossy, oops, we mean The Epoch. Yours for thinking, writing, reading, learning, laughing, and gerunds, The Gadfly Staff P.S. Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circumstances. All articles are due at 11:59 pm every Friday. For display advertisements prices and information contact Marin Skokandic at marin.skokandic@sjca.edu ~ �•I I THE POETIC AESTHETIC Poetry Contest The Body Electric by Jerome Dausman, GI Musing on Pop-Culture and the Self THE POET LAUREATE OF ST. JOHN'S (SELF-PROCLAIMED) What better way to start off a new term and a new newspaper than with a poetry contest? I confess, I can't think of anything better! To make it easier on you who would be contestants, I have already written the poetry involved. You, dear reader, only need to explain, in the proverbial 25 words or less, what the poem is about! As an incentive, a gift certificate for $25.00 of mouth-watering cuisine from Chick & Ruth's will be awarded to the winner. The poem in question: Funky Town Come on down ta funky-town. Ya shoozle? It be waitin. Don be slow or creepin roun, No time for hezitatin. Mizz Bell shot what you ain't got. Yo mine's been altercated. Mine's a gol darn polyglot It sure bin blues-abated. Tricldin slow, then down she go! It's what ya new can4;ankrus. Hunkrin down, ya hit zero Yo puzzlin animagus. Good fer nuttin 'cept head buttin. It yo we done be laffin. Jazzin? Not! Cept you ain't cuttin. Enuf with yer darn crabbin. Come on down ta funky-town, Ya frens al mos fogot ya. Yoda clown of great renown, Ya own a great big hoo-ra. CONTEST RULES Eligible participants are any and all St. John's students, graduate students, alumni, tutors, or other staff, except staff members of this publication and counselors licensed to attend to us disturbed students. Entries must describe what the above poem is about in 25 words or less. Entries can be emailed to: Jerome.Dausman@ sjca.edu, or mailed in campus mail to Jerome Dausman. All entries must be submitted by midnight of September 10, 2009. Entries will be judged by the Poet Laureate, and the decision of the judge, however misguided, is final. The winning entry will be announced in a subsequent issue of this esteemed publication. ~ By Brendan McGivney '11 little bitch with braces was laughing at some joke I made, "You really remind I'll admit I cried the first hundred me of Kelso from that 70's Show." times I heard "Seasons of Love," but Ashton Fucking Kutcher. Not even then it went the way of "Hey Ya" him, but his slightly brain-damaged and became the same replayed trash. character from some show on FOX That being said, Rent crept into the I'll admit to you at the time I thought hearts and ears of our burgeoning highly of this, I even had an ironic bohemian selves and stayed there trucker hat with some bible quote on proud, aids-ridden, and alternative. it. To this day I'm still struggling to This article is not about that play or figure out what it means to be like the mainstreaming of alternative Kelso. Was I loud? Yes. Did I get lots culture but about me. The biggest of poon? No. Was I retarded? I hope problem I have with Rent is when the not. It doesn't add up. Maybe I was to large black woman comes forward at willing to do anything to get a laugh, the funeral and belts out a numerical but still: what the hell? At around the same chain giving us a In the seventh grade, time, Louis Steven on catalogue to measure our lives. Frankly, cups I had the svelte build of Even Stevens was thrown a twink {Tom the BO's around a lot. Another of coffee, spoons, and love are not enough and the self-righteous loud borderline mentally -challenged kid. Maybe for my personal brand attitude of all middle in the end all the people of self-reflection and who constantly reminded self-loathing. Whether class white kids when we like to admit or they f1.rst -fi.nd punk. Then me of my cultural self were just telling me I not, in today's world it happened... had ADHD. Of course self-reflection doesn't there was also the twins, include a lot of self: we use so many people who looked at me after I got my mediums to see how people take us than figure our selves out from there. glasses and said I looked like everyone I learned at a young age all about this from Buddy Holly (in sophomore phenomenon the first time Daniel year) or Drew Carrey (senior year). Gildea, the chubby kid with an eye In the mirror these people gave me I patch at my lunch table said, "You learned I was gaining weight or just remind me of the kid from Home generally becoming less ... desirable. Alone." I'm sure my bowl cut and No one today would say I look like Shia Cosby sweater made his statement Labeouf or Ashton Kutcher they need true. That's what this article is about, someone bigger, hairier, more absurd. charting your personal growth by the Enter Zack Galifinakis. Have you seen The Hangover? celebrities you remind people of. Remember the bearded brother the on There wasn't a lot of this until MTV came around and sorta fucked it all up with the wolf pack toast-that's him, for me. In the seventh grade, I had the that's where I'm at right now. That svelte build of a twink from the 80's fat fuck really should not have gotten and the self-righteous attitude of all famous, but stayed in the underground middle class white kids when they first stand-up scene where he shined and COLUMNIST find punk. Then it happened: some see MCGIVNEY on pg. 9 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - THE GADFLY 3 �Freshmen Bodies, Freshmen Souls by Bryce Jacobsen '42 FORMER ATHLETIC DIRECTOR The reasons, both physical and metaphysical, why everyone ought to become in our sports program are many. I list a few: 1. We have the best athletic program of any college in the country. 2. Exercise is good for the body...unless you sprain an ankle or something like that.3. Most of us feel better, are more alert, and can get more work done if our bodies are healthy and our souls are relaxed. 4. Friendly competition is one of the really fun things in life. It is good for your soul. 5. Your circle of acquaintances will be greatly enlarged. This is good for the soul, provided you can separate the wheat from the chaff. 6. You will learn to accept, and bear with, thousands of split-second decisions from the officials, a few of which are wrong. This is very good for the soul 7. Do you like to strive for, and achieve, specific goals? If so, consider our college blazers. They are much sought after, and the pathway is clearly laid out. Striving for goals is good for your soul 8. It is probably true that the more pure fun occurs in the athletic program than in any other area of the college. Fun is good for your soul. 9. If you get involved in team sports, and become a "good team player," you have realized that there are things in the universe that are more important than your own ego. This is a great good for your soul. 10. The benefits of exercise and friendly competition, learned while one is young, should be maintained for the rest of your life...i.e, they should become habitual. For virtue, as the 4 THE GADFLY Philosopher said, is a habit. 11. You will get to know numerous alumni, tutors, and staff members who participate in the program. This is good for your soul, or ought to be... provided that they are the proper sort of role models. 12. Our showers are the best at the college; always plenty of hot water. 13. Are you bothered by, or worried by, tobacco fumes in the air? Come to the gym. The whole building is a nicotinefree zone. 14. If you perform some sort of heroic deed on the athletic field, your name will be mentioned in our weekly column. Heroes are always acclaimed. But do not be carried away by this. Remember that "the paths of glory lead but to the grave." 15. A high percentage of our best students are active participants in our program. 16. Those who play, stay. 17. The gym is not particularly well-equipped, as gyms go. But it has washers and dryers, and a coke machine... and I will explain to you, if you ask me, how you can get yourself in tip-top physical shape, without any equipment at all 18. You can sit in an old-time barber's chair in my office ... you can pump yourself up and down, and adjust the slope high or low. Where else can you do that? 19. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. 20. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. So there you have it. ..twenty good reasons why you should participate in our athletic program. If you are not convinced by all of this, come and talk to me...I can probably think of some more good reasons. Or better yet, talk with the upperclassmen. They will tell you all sorts of strange, interesting, and wondrous things. ~ (This reprinted article {1.rst appeared in The Gadfly on September 2, 1982. It was re-submitted by our current athletic director, Leo Pickens. We're sure Mr. Pickens is willing to stand in for the {1.rst person voice used in this article and answer any questions you might have about our great athletic program. -Ed.) �The Best Damn Sports Program Period Intramural Musings By JP Synder '10 SPORTS CORRESPONDENT For those of you who do not know me, I am the Senior Captain of the HUSTLERS intramural team and the Assistant Director of Kunai (fancy title for referee of women's sports). Like a few of you out there, coming to St. John's was a bit of step down athletically. We have no real intervarsity sports. Sure, we have the greatest croquet skills in the land (there's your 'shout out' Dan Connelly), a fencing team that meets regularly, a mild-mannered sailing team, and, for those insane enough to get up that early, a crew team that tries very hard to impress everyone. But for those of you whom Friday nights were spent under the lights of a stadium or gym, or you had a reserved seat in front of the TV on Sundays and all of March, be aware that St. John's sports move at a much slower pace. However, do not get too discouraged. Our intramural program is a blast for all of those former athletes and especially anyone who has never considered themselves an ::i athlete. five There are men's intramural teams: The HUSTLERS, The Spartans, The Druids, The Guardians, and some other team, the Greensomethingorothers. If you are a freshman, as Mr. P has told you in his annual speech, you are allocated to one of these teams and we are glad to have you. If you are a transfer student you are allocated as well and just as welcome to come join us. For all you sophomores out there, by the time you read this the draft will have already occurred. However, I am including in this edition of The Gadfly a draft preview so it will be quite interesting to see who made what stupid mistake. This column will probably be a little unpredictable. I have no real set strategy for what I am planning to write. There will probably be a brief weekly recap of kunai events, athlete profiles, schedule postings, and whatever else I feel like writing about from week to week. Look for a weekly Top 10 list varying in seriousness and I am open to How To and Self Help articles if anyone has any suggestions. For you ladies, you have already heard or know all about Kunai. For those that haven't, I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to come out and join us on Tuesday and Friday afternoons. I'll put out my Ode to Kunai in a subsequent article, but for now, just come out and play. There is a camaraderie and sportsmanship unlike anything you have experienced. Plus, you get cool shirts. Also, for the guys, especially the upperclassmen, the Friday afternoon watch party between the fields needs to be reinstated. Kunai is as much a spectator sport as anything else, and who doesn't want to watch a bunch of women running around? There is pickup basketball after seminar every Monday and Thursday. Freshmen: participate as frequently and as early in the year as possible in the intramural and after seminar sports. It is the easiest way to meet and make friends with upperclassmen. The St. John's community is prone to class division and in order to be Our intramural program is a blast for all of those former athletes and especially anyone who has never considered themselves an athlete. a true community of learning, it is imperative that we meld the classes together. The upperclassmen have studied everything you are struggling with now and their advice is invaluable. And, I know it is contrary to intuition, but there are probably some pretty cool freshman out there, so upperclassmen don't take too long to warm up to them. I hope to see you all out on the field. Oh yeah, Huhs-el-errs!!! .....-- THE GADFLY 5 �l An Introductory Guide to Annapolis By Rachel Bargis '09 ALUMNA This is by no means exhaustive. Do go off campus every once and a while -- St. John's tends to be quite the bubble and Annapolis is a sickeningly quaint town well worth exploring. General/Convenience Co&eeShops 1. City Dock Coffee, 71 Maryland Ave. Free wireless. 6:30 AM-6:30 PM 2. City Dock Coffee, 18 Market Space. Free wireless. 6:30 AM-10 PM 3. Hard Bean Coffee & Booksellers, 36 Market Space. Free wireless. 6 AM-10 PM. •••••••••••••••••••• r.================================~ Ice Cream 4. Annapolis Ice Cream Co. 196 Main St. Delicious and interesting flavors (they make their own), good prices. Penguins. Buy anything that has the word 'pie' in it. 5. Storm Bros. Ice Cream Co. 130 Dock St. Good prices on cones . 6. Aromi D'Italia. 6 Dock St. Delicious gelatto and Italian pastries. In the winter be sure to try their Italian Hot Chocolate, made with rich dark chocolate. • • Churches • • • 7. St. Anne's Episcopal Parish. • • Church Circle. 8 AM and 9:45 AM • • • • Sunday services. • : 8. St. Mary's Roman Catholic Church~ • 111 Duke of Gloucester St. 7:00 AM, • • • 8:30 AM, 9:00 AM, 10:30 AM, 12:30 • • PM, 5:30 PM Sunday masses. • • • • 9. First Presbyterian (USA). 171 • : Duke of Gloucester St. 8:30 and • • • 11:00 am Sunday services. • • 10. Calvary United Methodist • • Church. 301 Rowe Blvd. 9 AM • • • • Sunday service. • •••••••••••••••••••• r-----------------------• Restaurants 19. Joss Sushi. 195 Main St. The only place you'll ever need to go to in town for sushi. Delicious and affordable. 20. Galway Bay. 63 Maryland Ave. Solid Irish food. Also has a nice bar with sea shanty nights. 21. Reynolds Tavern. 7 Church Circle. Delightful afternoon teas and lovely dinners. Try the cream of crab soup. 22. Cafe Normandie. 185 Main St. Excellent French cuisine. Good half-price bottle of wine night. 23. Treaty of Paris. 16 Church Circle. Expensive; classy; French cuisine. Not for first dates unless both of you h ave over $100k in your trust fund. 24. Yin Yankee. 105 Main St. Asian Fusion food. Great lunches. Supermarket 25. Graul's Groceries. A 10 minute walk across the College Creek Bridge. ·-----------------------· 11. CVS. 123 Main Street. Convenient but expensive. 12. Main Street Minimart. 222 Main St. Pricey, but open later than CVS and closer than Rite Aid. Sells beer and wine. 13. Rite Aid. Open late. Liquor department also open late . 14. 7-11. Always open. Be safe and take a few friends if you go late at night. The night shift clerk is a living legend. 10 minute walk. 15. Potato Valley. 47 State Circle. Delicious baked potatoes. Slightly pricey, but hella tasty. 16. Subway. 228 Main St . Sometimes a sub is a welcome respite from the dining hall 17. Moe's. 122 Dock St. Chain, think Taco Bell with class. Decent prices. 18. Chick & Ruth's Delly. 165 Main St. Local must-see greasy-spoon institution. Open to at least 11:30 every night. Big milkshakes. Try the St. Johnnie Sandwich. --- 26. Harry Browne's. 66 State Circle. Close, comfortable, Johnnie haven after seminars. 27. Ramshead. 33 West St. Great Happy Hour, Fordham beers on tap. Tasty root beer on tap if you're under 21. •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Misc• • • • 28. Admiral Cleaners. 10 Taylor Ave. Dry cleaning, tailoring, and laundromat. : 29. Art Things Art Supply Inc. 2 Annapolis St. Fantastically stocked art supply store. Great selection of notebooks and • sketchbooks as well. A must-see. : 30. Annebeth's. 75 Maryland Ave. A must-see Johnnie institution. Fine wines and beers, cheeses, chocolates, gourmet • sodas, and movie rental. Open late! : 31. Mills Fine Wine & Spirits. 87 Main St. An exhaustive selection of wines, liquors, and beers. • 32. The Annapolis Bookstore. 68 Maryland Ave. A magically comfortable store full of new and used books (including • seminar books) . 33. Hats in the Belfry. 103 Main St. Hats are sexy; go buy one. • • 34. Capital Teas. 6 Comhill St. They sell tea. 35. 49 West. Coffee, dessert, and drinks. Pricey, but open after seminar. : • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •• • • •• • • • • • • • • • • • •• • ••••• •••• •• • • •• •• •• ••• • • •• •• • • •• • • • •• 6 THE GADFLY �Not on the map: The Lutheran Mission Society. 230 West St. Small but nice thrift store that always seems to be having some kind of 253 off sale. Twenty minute walk. THE GADFLY 7 �Dodd on the Quad: 33ack to ~chool By Kirstie Dodd '10 hardly worth it-my employer was, after all, someone who hired off of "Back to school," much like "I love Craigslist (which made him inherently you" in the beginning stages of an sketchy), and in the end I thought he unsure relationship, are three words was going to gyp me out of the money that produce equal amounts of we had agreed upon. At least now, excitement and dread. For me, these when I fly somewhere on a plane, I three words evoke the customary can toss around terms like HARP and hours of tax-free clothes shopping and HAMP in stentorian pretentiousness the hard choices I make in reporting and not fear the backlash of mortgage my summer activities: do brokers and lenders in I fudge the truth a little There is something the row behind me who and tell people I worked at that exdtes me about abhor my misinformed a high-paying internship this "Back to School" stupidity. I am a little in Japan with some sumo sad that I wasted a wrestling society (what I business. I cannot good month of my wanted to do), or do I tell wait to show you the youth, which I fear is people I spent most of freshest fl.ake-off-your- rapidly leaving me. At my time watching French ' . . twenty I can already cartoons and segments fork articles lzned up see fine lines around of the highly-televised for this year's Dodd on my eyes and the Michael Jackson Tribute the Quad. beginnings of old lady on YouTube (what I sun spots on the backs of my hands; a friend actually did)? Most of the time I compromise and tell people my suggested beginning an anti-wrinkle summer was "fine," which is one of regimen now, and I might take up her those glorious, ambiguous, anodyne suggestion to quell my ever-increasing English adjectives that means nothing fears about death, and worse, getting and everything. old. There is something that excites me The only thing of note I did this summer was write a book. Actually about this "Back to School" business. I it was an eBook, which is far less cannot wait to show you the freshest, glamorous, butl don'tminddollingthis flake-off-your-fork articles lined up one up for the press. I was searching for this year's Dodd on the Quad. Like Craigslist one day and found a posting my German grandmother, who after for an eBook writer, and a month later, sixty years of living in America, is I had churned out a little booklet on starting to lose her English and enjoys loan modification. It was grueling and stealing stale bread rolls from The Golden Corral, I am turning into an eccentric version of my once normal, well-adjusted self. This year, expect articles from a variety of subjects. I've been thinking about everything from the end of the world, Gaston Leroux, and school uniforms, to the art of the Russian novel, the possible benefit of reading outside sources, and the purpose of satirical journalism. Heck, I even might throw in an end-of-theyear "meta-article" entitled something horrible like "What is Dodd on the SENIOR EDITOR 8 T HE GADFLY Quad?" to solidify my feelings of selfworth and personal legacy here at the college. I was originally going to write this article about my advice for the beginning of the school year, but I've already spent most of a page airing out my anxiety about being a young adult and living with my parents over the summer, so I'll just leave my advice as a charming after-thought: hang up those college posters early (the Animal House one, that one of Audrey Hepburn, the cover of Abbey Road, etc.), make a new friend, try not to turn the first essay in late, and take your tutors out to lunch, or even better, coffee. Most of the time they like to pay. ~- - - - - - - -- - - - - - McGivneys Look-ALike Tribulations cont.frompg.3 stayed away from becoming a star. I never in my wildest dreams believed that a big bearded modern day Andy Kauffman would climb so close to a cultural zeitgeist. When I saw the movie afterwards, you could tell everyone around sorta gave me a sly look then I said to my friends, "I -am like a celebrity because I have a big belly and a bigger beard". Sure enough the rest of the summer, "You are just like that guy from The Hangover?" Don't tell me that, a grown ass man doesn't want to be compared to an almost-autistic dude. I'm not Rainman, nor was meant to be. All my life there seems to be this connection between me and men of eccentricity that borders on complete lunacy-I like to think I'm more self-aware than all these quixotical queens. People don't tend to flatter when they start a sentence of, "You remind me of...", but I think it's a hell of a better way of comparing yourself than to the raving of a bunch of twenty-something junkies.~ �The Form of Good: Beginnings By Andrew Mize '12 CONTRIBUTOR I thought it fitting in many ways to launch this column with the topic of "beginnings". Last night in my first sophomore seminar, we discussed the beginning of the Bible, which describes the genesis of the whole universe. After reading about such an event, I began to ponder about what good there is in beg'mmngs. In reading about humanity in the Garden of Eden, I focused my thoughts on the extraordinarily great potential that existed in Eden in the very beginning. With eternal sadness we can only imagine the great times Adam and Eve could have had in Eden had they not made the c...1-ioice to eat of the tree of t.lie knowledge of good and evil. They had the potential to be blameless and happy, but with a lust for God's wisdom and the bite of an apple, it was lost. Although not so important or final, Llie potential that all of us have at the start of this new year is in many ways like Adam and Eve's. From the freshman who are learning their way about campus to the seniors who are trying to learn their way off, a potential exists with every choice-concerning friendships, the intramurals, the Program, a healthy lifestyle, etc. .. These choices will determine how enjoyable or not this year will be. And so like the pre-apple Garden of Eden, the beginning of the school year more than any other time is when a healthy, happy year can be effectively planned and shaped. And that makes it good, something to be thought of wit.."l-i. a smile. I also find good in beginnings with the implications of their very existence. Begi.TIDings beget endings and vice versa in the interminable tides of time. The school year cannot begin if the su.."'llmer does not end, the summer cannot begin if the school year does not end. Tnis demonstrates the impermanence of all things, good and bad. When one considers that fact as concerns Genesis a."'1.d the separation of hu..."nanity from the divine, it comforts and provides hope for the future. In the end, beginnings are a time to rejuvenate ourselves. By taki..."'1.g a few deep breaths and preparing our minds, we ca.-ri. start off the school year right, entering the classroom with an open mind and something to say. But hopefully we can also see the divine good in them and take the time to inwardly celebrate the limitless potential for hu.."'llans to change for the better. In t..lris way we can be masters of our own destiny and turn that potential into a memorable actuality. ...... THE NEWEST EDITION IN THE LINE OF JOHNNIE NEWSPAPERS SPANNING MORE THAN A QUARTER CENTURY, THE GADFLY IS WHERE THE AVERAGE ST. JOHN'S STUDENT GOES FOR THE NEWS WHICH HE CARES ABOUT MEETINGS ARE HELD EVERY FRIDAY AT 7PM IN THE LOWER LEVEL OF THE BAR BUCHANAN CENTER. ALL ARE WELCOME TO ATTEND. THE GADFLY 9 �By John Blechl, '10 Turn This Dorm Contributor In order to live, we have to die a perfectly soft, the light that has kept full for us to move. Maybe we have us protected and safe all those years, a thirsty desire to travel; maybe we little. When we look forward, my friends, has a sense of enclosure that we, on have a nagging need to try something we lose sight of the past. This is exciting the one hand, wish not the leave, but new. Maybe we feel fear first, maybe anticipation. Maybe we follow the and terrifying because we leave what on the other, must. we know, what is routine and comfortable (and possibly dull) for the hoped for, the unexpected, the new. Life, of course, moves forward whether we wish it to or not and we, in order to be alive, move with it. While January is the double-faced month, August, for us, is our New Year. Whatever home is, it is home. It is the place that we know, the place we find our roots, the place that we stamp ourselves upon Maybe we leave a place full of tears steps of others. Maybe we are blazing everything. From the streets that we and bad memories. Maybe the cold a new path. have memorized to the buildings that and harshness of what has pushed When we make the journey to have become immortalized, home against the walls is the thing that these ancient and glorious buildings, is what we know. Yet that home, is suffocating us. Maybe the people we watch as home quickly :Bees in the in all of its g r a n d e u r , - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - rear-view mirror but begins to feel small and Maybe we leave a place that is full of light and wait impatiently as restricting; we do not warmth. The bedroom in the house that we have grown un in, that little room saturated with all r those old symbols ofold experiences... want to feel completely circumscribed and stagnant. Maybe we leave a place that is full of light and warmth. The bedroom in the house that we have grown up in, that· little room saturated with all those old symbols of old experiences, from the pictures on our mirrors, the pillow that is 10 THE GADFLY have grown small, sharp, and puerile. Maybe we run away from that very mirror that reminds us that we are who we are. Maybe home is a place empty and broken; maybe it is a place too College Avenue seems to :Bee in the other direction. But this shining College cannot escape us for long, and the miles are checked off the list like days on the calendar. At the threshold of campus is not Cerberus but Beatrice smiling with hand extended. Shutting the door of home takes the greatest effort that we can suffer. �INTO A HOME But that door must be shut, that life must be given up for a new one. Even if we are not acutely aware of the consequences of inaction, we are compelled to forsake one life for another. What of this other life? If a returning student, we have some advantage: we can simply slide from one established life into another. In most cases, we :find that returning to the life before St. John's is the difficult part; returning to campus is our homecoming. What of our newest colleagues? Can we not immediately remember the fear and anticipation that we ourselves felt the first few days of being students? The moment that our parents leave us alone in our room, the strange noises of voices that are not familiar, the sight of faces of strangers, the whirlwind of chaos and exhilaration spread over days and nights of constant stimuli, leaves us, if nothing else, breathless. We, as returning students, get to relive that moment through others; others get to experience it for the :first time. We replace one bed for another, one light for another, one mirror for another. Things from home only remind us that we are not there anymore. We have found a new home, a new place, full of wonder and strangeness. We slowly forget who we were as we realize who we are becoming. Whether we are starting, continuing, or completing this process here, we stand as breathing benchmarks to something far greater than our silly bodies and fertile minds. We are growing up, out, and inward. We place our hand on someone else's, or shun from another's, but still we move on. Regardless of our reason, we all walk through the door of this blessed Institution as equals. We share a commonality with complete strangers and friends. We have decided, for whatever reason, to turn ourselves to a Liberal Education. It is that promise that has moved us from our homes. It is that goal that guides our steps. Our books are our standard. We pick up the struggle, we dust off the dream, smirk, and begin the grindstone. Today will be tomorrow's yesterday, and we, as passengers and coachmen, continue to breathe. Everyday we go further from where we started. If we pause to remember that starting point, we wonder where our loved ones have gone and where we are going. We begin to see photographs of old faces that are missing something and we eventually realize that we are that something. We recall experiences here and wonder if such things could have happened without us. One place fades and another becomes illuminated. We cannot be in two places at once; we have made our decision because we !mow what the other option holds. Beauty is found in both. We give ourselves to hope, to trust, to faith. Here, in this Home, we have an opportunity that is so rare and pure thattheweightofwhat was is overpowered by what could be. Janus simply nods. We have the support of those loved ones that we have left as well as the loved ones that we. have found here. We are surrounded by light and toil, by success and progress, and by a star still further out. We can taste the sweetness of a spring that can only be found within these walls, we can feel a heat from our work and a breeze of earned relaxation. New friends constantly talk to us, help us, lift us up and settle us down. Let us defeat the fear in our breasts concerning the old; let us conquer the gauntlet that our Program wisely offers; let us be weary of the pitfalls that will sweet-talk us downward. We have the chance to be reborn again. What greater adventure could we ever wish to undertake? ......- THE GADFLY 11 �12 THE GADFLY � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Senior Editor) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 1 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-08-31 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Number 1 of The Gadfly. Published Monday, 31 August 2009. (Misnumbered as XXI, Issue No. 1). Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.1 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/4a4f89f981e84bb5df9f150bc84ecad1.pdf 85737dc9927037909f3ae188e7bb8cee PDF Text Text AD FLY VOLUME XXXI, N°. 2 ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE, ANNAPOLIS, MARYLMTD 21401 MONDAY, 7 SEPTEMBER 2009 {CITY} St. John's, Meet Annapolis At the end of the Red-Brick Road Andrew Thomas Davenport '10 CONTRIBu'TOR from the San Francisco Coming and having never beenBay to occasional special feature about how to get the best out of whatever sport you choose to come out and play. This week, we will st.art simply with the two men's intramural games that have been played prior to the Friday deadline of the Gadflv, namelv the AtJ1enian Reason Ball g~e betwe~ the Green Waves and the Guardians and the Ulrimate (Frisbee) game between the Spartans and the hustlers. For those of you who may be unaware of what Athenian. Reason Ball is, it is the St. John's version of flag football v;,1.th a number of heavv modifications; for instance, an unlimited amount of forward passing, variable field goal point values, and a little quirk called ''hyper-time". In Wednesday's game, there was a superabundance of glory, especially for the first ga.,.'lle of t.1-ie season. The Mighty Green Waves scored on their third play from scrimmage, connecting four passes in a :row that s~"'i:ed from three yards in front of their own endzone, with the scoring catch made by Kevin }Jtman, a Area, the East Coast other than for a week in New York City, I was struck by this quaint, brick town. I had just spent the last year living in San Francisco in one of the grittier neighborhoods, and I had spent several years before t..11.at traveling both domestically and intematioruilly (I started at St. John's when I was 22). I was smug and felt secure from whatever might come my way. I scoffed at the campus security warnings about muggings downtown. All I saw around me was a wealthy tourist-trap college-town. In three years, though, I have learned that this is only a thin veneer worn for the sake of company, and that there is much more to this town than even some of the locals might want to admit. Annapolis is a segregated and fractured community, plagued by crime and a murder rate three times the national average. Wedged between the cracks that so many of Anne Arundel County's unseen and underprivileged fall through are the thirteen housing projects that rr:akr the county number one in the nation in per capita public housing. As Trudy McFall, cu..."'":rent mavoral candidate and founder of Citizens' for a Better ~..\nnapolis, puts it: "One of the most important contributions of the ICY....A work may be that it makes it clear t..11.at Annapolis has and should take full :responsibility for the policing in public housing communities. For too long Annapolis has treated our public housing areas as if they were 'federal :reservations' and the city }1as not given them a level of policing t..hat is appropriate for the crimes that are committed there" (The Capital, 6/16/08). I'm not telling you this for your safety; I'll leave that to campus security. I see SALE, pg. 5 seeDAVKWORT,pg. 8 Matthew Young ('12) and Billy (or Tony) Peccraro ('12) celebrate Reality hosted Seducers & Conuptors 2009. {THE WEEK} Intraniural Recapitulation Robert Sale '10 SPORTS CORRESP01'."DE!'•,"f come to my attention that I ofhasyour impressionable minds some have t been exposed to an a..'"ticle written by a Mr. JP Snyder, a capt.a.in of an intramural team whose rui.me most certainlv does not need to be capitalized. Na'tural.ly, there was much good in what he wrote about the intramural sports program, as it drives all of those who participate in it to a nobility of soul :rarely seen outside these walls. However, one cannot escape a cerT"...ai.n bias when one is writing about an activity in which there are w..nners (like the Green Waves) and those who do not win (the hustlers,· for example). Thus I have t.a.ken it upon myself to do what small part I could to correct the pro-hustler sports page leaning that would most certainly besrnirch the fair and balanced nature of the Gadfly. In my colurnn, you may expect to see a just treatment of the men's intramural games that have occurred in the past week, as well as current standings and even perhaps an �WRITING HOME THE GADFLY Senior Editor Kinnie Dodd Jtmior Editor Patrick Beeby Layout F.ditx>IS Elizabeth Spagnoletti XeeoanTro= PholX>gi:ophy F.ditx>t Chloe Ginsburg Business M.mgtt Mazin Skobndic Conttibu= Dobert Sak An<hew Davcapon JPSnydct !llicbadl.a<:y An<hewlllizc Paul Moa:ill F ounded in 1980, The Gadfly is the student weekly distributed free to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus as well as tutors emeriti, members of the Boards of VtSitors and Governors, and the offices at the St. John's Santa Fe campus. Opinions expressed within are the sole responsiliility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most professional, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which ci!cumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circumstances. The Gadfly meets every Friday at 7 PM in the lower level of the Barr-Buchanan Center. All articles are due at 11:59 PM every Friday. For display advertisement prices and information, contact Marin Skokandic at marin.skokandic@ sjca.edu. 2 THE GADFLY D ear Mother, Yesterday I received the package you sent me. As I was opening it in my dorm room, a song was playing in which a man was warned by his mama that there'll be days like this. "There'll be days like this," his mama said. It might sound insignificant, but it was very comforting to know that there are other folks out there who struggle with these kinds of things too. Guess we're just lucky to have mamas like you! In other words, thanks again for the plastic sheets. I agree that they won't solve the real problem, for as you said, they will shield me from the costs of replacing a school mattress, but they will do little to shield me from my shame-still, it's a start. School's okay so far. As usual, all of my classmates are jealous of me, so I pretty much keep to myself like you recommended. It's tough to be a senior with only three and three-fifths friends, but until everyone else can let go of their damn pride, there's not much I can do for them. Fortunately, things are looking better on the other end of the table as my tutors continue to think I'm the coolest. None of them can really pronounce my name, but only one this year insists that the proper French pronunciation is "Loser." The other kids laugh when he says it, because they too suspect that he doesn't know the language. It's nice of them to defend me, but I do feel it's a bit rude to the tutor to laugh in his face like that. Things are just starting to gear up around campus. From what I hear, The Gadfly has resumed publication. Don't know if you remember or not, but it fell to pieces last year when Dinosaur JL got all hlgh and mighty with my Hamlet poem. Nobody could really get behind a student weekly after they printed his article. Again, I appreciate ON SMOKING {LETTERS} I n my first minutes arou..11d campus since registration, I the show of solidarity, but to doom an age-old institution just because of one man's slip-up seems a bit rash. I suppose it all worked out though, since that little ginger girl is starting it up again. That's right, Kristie's in charge of it now-remember, the one you called "moonface" at convocation? She seemed nice enough when I recommended that she make their new slogan "Ouch! That really smarts!" But I'll wait and see if she uses it or not before I pass judgment on whether she truly is "nice enough." Oh, and good news! I know that you've been racked with residual parental guilt over how many trans fats I absorbed from all those chicken McNuggets you let me eat as a kid, so I thought you'd like to know that I no longer touch the stuff! In fact, I'm now the only actual vegetarian in the vegan/vegetarian club. At least that's what the archon, Caity Swanson, told me. Although to be honest, it is was difficult to make out exactly what she was telling me through all the shrimps and beef bits she was spraying from her mouth. (Oh, and if you forgot, "archon" is the word we use for our club leaders so as to remind upper classmen that Greek is part of the curriculum and to entice the freshmen into joining some of the less prestigious, more socially debilitating clubs like melee and waterboarding.) Well, I have a lot of reading to do, so I guess that's it for now, mom. It turns out that I was wrong about having one seminar on War and one on Peace, and now I'm really behind. I know I have no right to complain though- I was given fair warning. After all, mama said there'll be days like this! Love, Gabe -Gabriel Ltzjer heard a conversation between some new freshman and a few upperclassmen. This conversation was centered on smoking. Many freshman might notice St. John's students smoking on the quad, on some stoop, perhaps even pacing around with a pipe and bowtie. At St. Johns, we love to live in the past, thinking about questions of the past which are still relevant today. While smoking was in the past a sexy, cool, and important part of pop culture, it is no longer relevant in the same sense. Smoking today is a sign of low class, ignorance, and vice. Smoking makes you look like a fool I shudder when I see that even some tutors smoke on campus. This poor example should not be followed. I urge incoming freshman to focus on looking respectable to the public as a whole, including their peers and tutors, rather than trying to look cool for the buffoons that are not worth your time impressing. Most students who smoke aren't serious, and most serious students who smoke become less so as a result. Or, as King James I says in A Counterblaste to Tobacco, "For such is the force of that natural self-love in every one of us, and such is the corruption of envy bred in the breast of every one as we cannot be content unless we imitate every thing that our fellows do, and so prove ourselves capable of every thing whereof they are capable, like apes counter feiting the manners of others to our own destruction." -folio Santa-Rita DEMANDS Snyder's I n JPrefers to recent article, he SJC's "mildmannered sailing team." We demand the statement be retracted. We are not mildmannered, and we believe life is worth living, Mr. SnydeL -The St. Johns Sailing Team �{POEM} Dying for Ideas Tutor Adam Schulman translates Georges Brassens' Mourir pour des idees (1972) Mourir pour des idees, l'idee est excellente Moi j'ai failli mourir de ne l'avoir pas eu' Car tous ceux qui l'avaient, multitude accablante En hurlant a la mort me sont tombes dessus ' Ils ont su me convaincre et ma muse insolente Abjurant ses erreurs, se rallie a leur foi Avec un soupc,;:on de reserve toutefois Mourrons pour des idees, d'accord, mais de mort lente, D'accord, mais de mort lente Jugeant qu'il n'y a pas peril en la demeure Allons vers l'autre monde en flanant en chemin Car, a forcer l'allure, il arrive qu'on meure Pour des idees n'ayant plus cours le lendemain Or, s'il est une chose amere, desolante En rendant l'ame a Dieu c'est bien de constater Qu'on a fait fausse route, qu'on s'est trompe d'idee Mourrons pour des idees, d'accord, mais de mort lente D'accord, mais de mort lente Les saint jean bouche d'or qui prechent le martyre Le plus souvent, d'ailleurs, s'attardent ici-bas Mourir pour des idees, c'est le cas de le dire C'est leur raison de vivre, ils ne s'en privent pas Dans presque tous les camps on en voit qui supplantent Bientot Mathusalem dans la longevire ]'en conclus qu'ils doivent se dire, en aparte ''Mourrons pour des idees, d'accord, mais de mort lente D'accord, mais de mort lente" Des idees reclamant le fameux sacrifice Les sectes de tout poil en offrent des sequelles Et la question se pose aux victimes novices Mourir pour des idees, c'est bien beau mais lesquelles? Et comme toutes sont entre elles ressemblantes Quand il les voit venir, avec leur gros drapeau Le sage, en hesitant, toume autour du tombeau Mourrons pour des idees, d'accord, mais de mort lente D'accord, mais de mort lente Encor s'il suffisait de quelques hecatombes Pour qu'enfin tout changeat, qu'enfin tout s'arrangeat Depuis tant de "grands soirs" que tant de tetes tombent Au paradis sur terre on y serait deja Mais l'age d'or sans cesse est remis aux calendes Les dieux ont toujours soi.£ n'en ont jamais assez Et c'est la mort, la mort toujours recommencee Mourrons pour des idees, d'accord, mais de mort lente D'accord, mais de mort lente 0 vous, les boutefeux, o vous les hons apotres Mourez done les premiers, nous vous cedons le pas Mais de grace, morbleu! laissez vivre les autres! La vie est a peu pres leur seul luxe ici bas Car, enfin, la Camarde est assez vigilante Elle n'a pas besoin qu'on lui tienne la faux Plus de danse macabre autour des echafauds! Mourrons pour des idees, d'accord, mais de mort lente D'accord, mais de mort lente Dying for ideas, that's an excellent idea. Me, I nearly died of not having it, Because all those who had it, an overwhelming multitude, Fell upon me howling, ''To the death!" They knew how to convince me, and my insolent muse, Renouncing her errors, rallied to their faith With, however, a suspicion of reserve: Let's die for ideas, all right, but by a slow death; All right, but by a slow death. Judging that there's no danger in staying home, ·Let's go toward the other world dawdling on the road, Because, by forcing the pace, one could end up dying For ideas that are no longer current the following day. Now if there's one thing that's bitter and distressing, In rendering one's soul to God, it's to note well That one took a false route, got hold of the wrong idea. Let's die for ideas, all right, but by a slow death; All right, but by a slow death. Besides, the St. John Chrysostoms who preach martyrdom Most often get delayed down here. Dying for ideas, it has to be said, Is their reason for living; they're not going to give that up. In almost all the camps one sees those who'll soon Take Methusaleh's place for longevity. I conclude from this that they must tell themselves, aside, ''Let's die for ideas, all right, but by a slow death; All right, but by a slow death." For ideas demanding the ultimate sacrifice Sects of every shade offer their consequences; And the question poses itself to novice victims: "Dying for ideas, it's quite beautiful, but for which ones?" And as they all resemble one another, When he sees them coming, with their big banner, The wise man, hesitating, takes a tum around the tomb. Let's die for ideas, all right, but by a slow death; All right, but by a slow death. Yet if some hecatombs were all that were needed For everything finally to change, finally to arrange itself, After so many "great evenings," so many heads falling, One would have already reached paradise on earth. But the golden age without end is put off indefinitely, The gods are always thirsty, they never have enough of it, And it's death, death, always starting again. Let's die for ideas, all right, but by a slow death; All right, but by a slow death. 0 you firebrands, 0 you good apostles, Go and die first, we yield the place to you. But by the grace, morbleu! let the others live! Life is just about their only luxury down here, Because, in the end, Death is vigilant enough, H e doesn't need anyone to hold the scythe, Or any more macabre dances around the scaffold! Let's die for ideas, all right, but by a slow death; All right, but by a slow death. ~ THE GADFLY 3 �{ATHLETES OF THE WEEK} {INTRAMURALS} Scores {ATHLETICS} Dear Kunai ... Are you there, girls? It's me, JP. JP Snyder '10 SPORTS CORRESPONDENT O h, how I love you! Let me count the ways. One ... umm... well, this may take more thought than I originally anticipated. My time spent with Kunai has always been a love/hate relationship. I guess you could say that I've had a crush on her since the beginning. I remember way back during my freshman year when I spied her from the quad. She was running around in the rain, completely oblivious to my presence. Her long legs, panting bosom and smile revealed that she knew exactly who she wa-s ·and what· she stood for; I was hooked. I sidled up to her, shiveringunder my umbrella, and then it happened. Our eyes met; it was love at first sight. We took our courtship slow to start out. I'd come by every so often, making sure she had her space, but letting her know I was around. Then the next year, we made it official. I took the open gym assistant job, and we've been inseparable ever since. That first year, as most newlyweds experience, was blissfully awkward. I learned about her and she attempted to adjust to me. I found myself picking up after her, let4 THEGADFLY Johnnie Fleming '12 Reason Ball ting her boss me around, and is an appropriate name. enjoying just being enveloped The summer came, and The Hustlers silently apin her warmth. It was defi- we spent some time apart. I proached, strangled, and burnitely a learning period. We came to the realization that ied the bodies of the Sparboth didn't know much about our previous arrangement tans, 30-6. The Guardians, soccer, so we kind of found would no longer work. If we summoning up the potent our way together. When were going to stay committed spirits of their dead relatives, basketball came around, she during my final year here, we totally beat the Druids, who was obstinate and didn't care would have to come together had summoned less powermuch for my help. I chalked as equals. That being said, I ful familial powers, 20-14. this up to us still getting to will no longer pick up after Finally, the Greeriwaves ran know each other and working her. I will assert myself when around faster and threw the out the kinks. We ended the necessary for her betterball farther than the Guardians, 40-34. year still committed but real- ment. So far things seem to izing there would be tough be working out nicely. We are Soccer times ahead. planning two trips together The Druids and the GreenOur second official year this year and are working on together went very smoothly. even more after hours alone waves tied, 1-1. The Guardians and the Spartans also I felt like Kunai had finally time. Hopefully, with her full tied, 2-2. started to warm up to me. I cooperation, we can rekindle still picked up her things and that flame. Plus the fact that Ultimate Frisbee did .all of her bitch work, but she gets a face lift every year I feel like she was now open certainly doesn't hurt. The Hustlers ingested, made to my input and advice. We Seriously, though. We only a hearty effort to savor, and started scheduling alone time had 46 girls come out to Ku- finally spat out the Spartans, together on Sundays were we nai on Friday. Unacceptable. 11-7. could work on improving our Our goal is to have 94 girls . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - , relationship. We even took show up at least once. Fresh{FROM THE HEALTH CENTER} a trip to D.C. It was magi- man, this is mainly your recal. I felt like things were sponsibility. At St. John's we Seasonal Flu Shots really coming together for strive for knowledge for the Free to Students us. And then the unthink- sake of knowledge. Kunai able happened. She chose is the only place you will find $5 for Faculty and Staff another man over me! All be- sport for the sake of sport. cause of my assumed lack of Everyone is friendly and When: dance skills, I guess she never could care less whether you Tuesday, September 8 watched me limbo or polka. I are good or not. Plus you'll (10AM-1PM) was hurt. Everything we had get some sun and work up a Monday, September 14 been through meant noth- sweat. And males, as I said (1PM-4PM) ing to her. I was just another before, it behooves you to guy to look after her, another convince the women to play Where:FSK notch on the belt. Hell bitch so you can watch. ....,. �{THE FORM OF GOOD} Ti1ne Capsules Andrew Mize '12 COLUMNIST Somewhere earl.yin the dol-I drums of last summer capsule that is built for the intended recipient of future arrived at a recurring epipha- generations. No, we decided ny that life is as short as it is we would craft this one for precious. At this I suggested ourselves, our future selves. to my glrlfriend, "Let's build The next day we rode our a ti.me capsule." In conversing wave of excitement over to excitedly about this we decid- the local Lowe's, where we ed that we did not, however, purchased the materials to want to make the typical ti.me forge the capsule: one 36-----------------------, {FROM PAGE ONE} Sale's Take On Th.is Week's Events plucky freshman with hands like a bear trap. The Guardians, however, were not to be trifled with and connected two straight scoring drives to give them a 16-8 lead. After trading touchdowns again before halftime, at the break the score stood at 22-16, Guardians in the lead. The second half started even more explosively than the first - the Indomitable Green Waves returned the kickoff for a touchdown, followed by the staunch Guardians returning the next kick for a touchdown. With neither two-point conversion successful, the Guardians kept the lead at 28-22. The Green Waves knocked at the scoring door many ti.mes during the second half, but an excellent defensive effort led by Jon Ragsdale and firstround pick Linus Feder (who finished the game with three interceptions) kept the game firmly in their hands until the very end. With the score reading 34-28 in favor of the Guardians, it ended up coming down to the last play of the game. A botched pitch led the quarterback of the Green Waves to scramble and heave an unplanned, desperation pass that landed right into the arms of sleeper pick Liam Wallace to tie the game at 34. With yet another unsuccess- fu.l two-point conversion, the game headed into suddendeath overtime. In overtime, the Green Waves elected to receive the kick, but after failing to score, possession turned over to the spirited Guardians. Yet here the erstwhile porous Green Wave defense held strong; the Guardians were forced to punt. This ti.me, the Green Waves were ready, connecting a series of passes on second down that brought them to the one-yard line. A successfu.l stand by the Guardians on third down was quickly negated on the next play by a short, over-the-top pass to Graduate Institute student Lee, who dodged his way into the endzone and into the annals of St John's intt.amural glory. The Incomparable Green Waves carried the-day. In other news, the Spartans were defeated in what was surely an underhanded way by the hustlers in Ultimate. Better luck next ti.me, Spartans. That's all for now, except to remark that Mr. Snyder's draft board turned out to be amusing but inaccurate in a numher of significant ways. I can only say that it is fortunate that his athletic prowess far outstrips his prognosticating powers. Until next week, may everything be ad mt.Yorem undarum viridium gloriam. 'I"' inch piece of 4-inch-diameter PVC pipe, two appropriately sized couplings (with screw on lids), PVC glue, and PVC primer. Actually making it was the most crucial step as our get-up-and-go was of the typical bottomless summer level. Over the next few weeks, we made lists of what to put inside. To descnbe the ti.mes, we added magazines, popular news articles, and some of Newsweek's 2009 top 10 lists. To convey ourselves, we put in lists of our favorites (songs, websites, foods, etc ... ), an empty bottle of Ale8-1 (the locally popular Kentucky-made ginger ale equivalent), locks of hair, letters to ourselves, a thumb drive with audio files of our voices, and copies of our signatures. To provide some surprise we also added an assortment of random things the specifics of which I cannot recall. And so finally, with the top lid screwed down, literally a few days before we packed up the Jeep to head to Maryland, we had it prepared for burial. But where? It could not go on any privately-owned property that could be sold. I had imagined romantically of a serene glade tucked away on the yonder reaches of some ancient farm, but at the rate at which the Bluegrass is being churned up and stamped with cookie-cutter house foundations, we were hesitant. So we turned our shovels to the last resort: a public park. Despite the possible illegality of it, we figured the costs and, in the end, enjoyed the heightened sense of adventure. The ti.me capsule's final resting place was just off of a pathway in the middle of a stand of four straight and skinny trees (we were also sure to get the coor- What's worth preserving? Forwhom? And why? dinates). Our only real scare came from a paralyzed man out for an evening stroll The quadriplegic, flanked by two mates, quietly hummed on by as he jokingly said, ''Looks like we've come up a crime scene, boys." But what good is a ti.me capsule? It is, most literally, a container of physical items that will hopefully one day trigger memories that, in the process of time, were hidden away, corrupted, and made inaccessible without some hard copy cue. From that recall I hope to see how I have changed and compare the differences in who I was with who I am at that ti.me. But most exciting to me is knowing that I will be able tp examine what about me has stayed the same. My outside layers that form and are shed away will be more recognizable, and the core of my true personality will be clearer. In essence, I think it will help me analyze who I really am. However steeped in theoretical good, though, making a time capsule is above all else an activity. Without actually crafting, filling, and dumping the thing, no real good could have come. In twenty five years when we remember to go dig up our ti.me capsule, the greatest good will not come from an understanding of the brevity of life or of who I am. That sounds so serious. It will, I trust, come from the sheer joy of finding and rummaging through that old ti.me capsule, with all its well-preserved novelties. And if something happens to go wrong (say our devious witness and his goons dig it up), at the very least it was a summer saved from the endless evils of boredom and complacency.~ THE GADFLY 5 �(a book not on the Program). Curiouser and curiouser? Bate that breath! There are stranger things yet to unfurl. For example, underneath the virtue phrase there is the date "1793" in Roman numerals. But in the middle of the circle rests the strangest thing of all: a large pyramid of rubble with the McDowell cupola or something that looks like Bramante's tiempietto at the top. At the bottom of the rubble there is a little man (St. John of Patmos maybe? Francis Scott Key?) either using a dagger to climb to the top or stabbing the rubble with a Rene won. Why is the of- cross. According to the adminficial seal different? To get down to the bottom of this istration, in 1793 the library mystery, I decide to do some was moved to the cupola "roving reporting" like a true room where it stayed for a newspaperwoman, which few years. True to form, howmeans I get out of bed on a ever, they refuse to comment Saturday and walk down to about the image in the cenGreenfield Library. Discov- ter, and my laboratory tests ering that my "Harriet the remain inconclusive about Spy Role Playing Magnifying the dagger/ cross debate. EiGlass" is missing from my ther way, the image is an acdesk, I begin to suspect foul ceptance of dangerous and play. Did someone not want potentially lethal rock climbme to find out why the seal ing methods, or a desire to was changed? Do I smell a appropriate religious symbolconspiracy theory? Am I be- ogy and attach violence to the ing followed? Am I about to crucifix. Things at this point are become the next Dan Brown? I find a formaldehyde- getting suspicious. I hastscented book (it will remain ily skim Rene's philosophical unnamed to protect its pri- works for guidance and clues. vacy) in the basement with Seeing that I am getting nothe old seal on the inside left where, I turn to the new seal cover. It, like the new seal, is for answers. Let us consider it circular. Nice and shapely and for a moment. Many of you divine. Around the edge, it are familiar with the burnt features the Latin phrase "Si- orange image with the words gillum Commune Collegii St. ''Facio Liberos Ex Liberis Johannis Cannapole in Mary- Libris Libraque" around the landia." My rusty Latin is able outside. 50% extols the seven to eke out: "Common Seal of tenets of the classical liberal St. John's College in Annapo- arts education, and 50% is lis, Maryland." Informative, an esoteric pun on a homoappropriate. On the inside phonetic Latin word. In fact, of the circle there is more the misuse of the Latin One Latin (mcreases pretentious- word with the root ''Lib-" has ness) across the top in a band: been a staple of Latin teach"invia virtuti est nulla via" or, ers' water cooler humor for "for virtue, no way is barred." hundreds of years. Like the This is a highly suspicious old seal, the new seal also flaphrase to use in a SJC seal be- grantly uses Latin, a language cause it is in Latin (a language we have no business knowing we do not learn) and comes about. In the center of the from Ovid's Metamorphoses seal, there are seven books {DODD ON THE QUAD} Seal of Approval? One girl's quest to discover the esoteric meaning behind the St. John's seal. Kirstie Dodd '10 SENIOR EDITOR "T'1be more time one spends l. at St. John's, the more one forgets about all of the sights on campus that once dazzled and bewitched one's prospie eyes. Today I would like to remind us of something that we have forgotten about, something that lurks in every comer of campus. It's there when we walk to Mellon for that harrowing 9 am, it primly waits for us in the upper left hand comer of our St. John's financial letterheads, and it graces many a fanatical parent's Subaru. Yes, we have forgotten about you, Mr. St. John's Seal, and it is time for you to once again bask in the limelight. You may recall the following events from your St. John's College History 101 course you took last semester: (1) Humphrey's basement was a Civil War morgue, (2) George Washington picked lint off his jacket near ChaseStone, (3) ''Temple Iglehart" was a WWI training facility, and (4) The college changed its official seal. When I took the course, I was never concerned with the first three events, because they are standard protocol for any old mid-Atlantic liberal arts college. But the fourth event troubled me for many nights: the seal we see today was not always the official seal. The angel on my right shoulder (Dante) told me to leave it alone. "These things are divine mysteries," he whispered into my ear, with a kind of sultry Antonio Banderas voice. The devil on my left shoulder (Rene Descartes) begged me to ask the one question I always want to ask: PORQUOI. 6 THE GADFLY representing the quadrivium (geometry, arithmetic, music, astronomy) and the trivium (grammar, rhetoric, logic). But when was the last time you used arithmetic at St. John's, or logic for that matter? And so I finally pinpoint the reason why the seal was changed from the little man with his rock pile to the streamlined seal we have today: the scale in the center. On the St. John's website and in St. John's propaganda they send to high school seniors, the byline is "in the center is the scale, representing science." Science as in science doesn't make sense, because we don't do science at St. John's. Science as in knowledge makes more sense, but to get to that conclusion I had to use more of that Latin I'm not supposed to know. No, ladies and gentlemen, the real reason why the scale is there in the center of the seal is because everything this school is based on is a Nietzschean conspiracy. If you haven't checked your astrological charts lately, let me remind you that Nietzsche was born on October 15th, 1844, making him a Libra. The symbol of Libra? The SCALE of justice. This symbol, embedded in the center of a Latin language joke, surrounded by some disciplines we don't even touch, teaches us one crucial thing, the thing that the secret seal changers wanted us to know but couldn't tell us outright: we, like Nietzsche, can criticize Plato. Tonight I'm keeping one eye open for the administration's ninjas, and I advise you to do the same.~ l �{OPINION} An Ongoing Trial of Liberal ducation l\lichael Thomas Lacy '12 COLU:l\.lliil:ST n August The O Washington 27th, pubPost lished an article entitled ''.,.A,.n Education Debate for the Books." The piece focused on the dwindling applications to St. John's College as well as other small liberal ar..s schools. The paper reported a 15% admissions drop at SJC since last school year, lamenting that never "have families weighed the value of a liberal education mo.re carefullv than in the 2009-10 admissi~ns cycle." The paper quoted two freshmen when they moved into their Randall dorms. They fearlessly defended the St. John's curriculum, one saying he r..ad to convince his grandfather (who lived through the Great Depression) that this education was worth the financial burden, even in these times. A video of him is available online, including his retort to cynics: "What they don't realize is that a liberal education will give them skills for life and that it w.Jl help them get a job ... if you specialize too much, the industry will dry up in twenty yea.rs, and it could, because of how fast technology is moving, and you're without work and have a general job." On reading this, I was fo:cious. Some how this Randallian Punk had time-traveled to last fall and stolen my opinions about SJ C. That was precisely how I felt moving .into Humphreys last year, giving startlingly sinilla:r sound bites any chance I could get. I found myself feverously defending my choice of secondary education to W'...ittesses and family friends, who had not actually challenged it, irnagining with pityi..ng con- tempt my high school friends unpacking with ignorant bliss at Cornell and William & Mary. Tney are the ones who truly should :have had to defend their "educations." Soon I learned a word to encompass what filled r,1-ieir education, and I cursed "rhetoric" in its every form, know.uig my superiority as an entirely rational and philosophic being, free of professors who modeled themselves on Gorgias. I cursed my brother at a farnily dinner because he dared quote a le-..--rure and not Thucydides on a matter of Spar.an custom. The fall and winter breaks found me communicating poorly with friends, but this was probably because of the poor acoustics of their personal caves. The books of freshmen year dragged me all over the interpersonal map last year, but I eventually started speaking differently about my education, especially after reading Meno again at the end of the year. I realized I just didn't know that much about it. I do not know if there is "nothing more practical than a hard core liberal a...."'i:s education," as a freshman stated to The Washington Post the day before his first serr..i.'1ar. There are many, many things I do not understand after a year of attending St. John's. This summer, I helmed a project for The Gadfly \vith the intent of involving more tutors with the paper. I sent out an email to all the tutors and waited for them to each climb aboard my creative new concept. The first response was from :Mr. Zuckerman, a retired tutor. He read my email carefully and responded with a precise correction of my grammar. He had some other issues with my email as well. He reminded me "that for many years we have been rat race by havi.-ig furn founcarefol about the meaning dations and coincidentallv of words like creativity and ma.king us virtuous too? Doe~ concept." :M.r. Zuckerman liberal education, as the freshand another tutor were very man in The Post stated in the concerned at my reference to on.line video, "feed the wallet seminar as "a course" .in mv and the soul?" email. The other tutor com"Perhaps in regards to St. mented that calling it a course John's in general, we should "makes it sound like a set follow the recommendation of readings with plans or an of one tutor responding to agenda behind them." my email concerning seminar: So that spread won't be ap- "[to gain] whatever he or she pearing any time soon. wants from the evening and How did I miss the mark follow whatever notions are so dramatically? Wny am personally interesting or valuI consistently erring in my able." I do not know. conception of where I go to I do know that there are a school and what to take from lot of theories about whv a it? Why do I let my theories liberal education is a better about what to take from read- education. I al.so know a lot ings so quickly influence my of people are having a hard life? While on two separate time balancing that benefit dates this summer, I showed with the fiscal burden. My the "slave boy" demonstra- conceptions about the nature tion to the girls. There were of this place are obviously no second dates. I feel like I flawed, and I thir...k I am not live some of the books a little al.one. In this column, I inharder t..11an other students; tend to disclose my cursory would the ghost of Stringfel- investigation into what liberal low Barr approve? Is this the education is, where it came intent of St. John's? from, and where it can take Or is it designed, as I found us. I plan on using books, it described in The Washing- W:tlripedia, conversations ton Post, as the utmost prac- with tutors, students, admintical education? Is St. John's istrators, alumni, and brutally seemingly against the grain, self-deprecating true stories, not immediately setting us in to ea...'"n.estly depict my post a career path, but in the end torpedo-fish search to k..11ow giving us the uitimate advan- whether or not we should all tage to gain materially? Is this just be business majors right school shaping us to w.in the now.~ ~~~~~~~~~~{WEEKLY}~~~~~~~~~~ Project Politae Update August 30, 2009- Project Politae and student volunteers (Chris K.rueger (SR.A), Liam Wal.lace ('12), Ian Wilson ('13), Will Loder ('13), Morgan Stephanson ('13), Jordan Dell ('13), Phillipa Gowdy-Jaeb..nig ('10), John Welsh ('10), and Suzanne Weber (staff)) met in front of Spector dorm last Sunday at 1 pm to clear out cat tails (Iypha) from the rain gardens located benveen Mellon and the new dorms (Spector and Gilliam). A brief discussion was held on the importance of rain gardens and the contribution t..liey have on the environment. For more information on rain gardens or for future Project Politae meetings and events please contact Pippa Gowdy-Jaehnig at phillipa.gowdyjaehnig@sjca.edu. ~ THE GADFLY 7 �l {FROM PAGE ONE} Davenport Voices Concern for the Community don't have a solution either. A rigorous liberal education requires that, to a degree, we temporarily remove ourselves from the world. But the St. John's motto"Making free men from children through books and a balance"-means that if we are successful here, we will be precisely the kind of citizens who have the desire and the tools to deal with these kinds of problems. And removing ourselves from the world for the sake of this education cannot completely relieve us of our responsibilities to the communities of which we are members. There are two housing projects within easy walking distance of the school-the people who live in them are very much a part of our community. With varying degrees of financial aid, we are attending one of the most expensive colleges in the wealthiest country in the world. We are receiving, in my opinion, one of the finest undergraduate educations available anywhere today. We are lucky; we are privileged. The people living in the housing projects all over Annapolis are some of the poorest, underprivileged members of our community. We were not born into our circumstances through hard work, and they were not born into theirs through dereliction. It is no surprise that the epicenter of crime in Annapolis is in the housing projects; where there is poverty, where there is a dearth of opportunity, so too will there be crime. Sometimes the most available means of relief, whether monetary or emotional, crosses the law in such circumstances. I don't say this to absolve anyone of responsibility for crimes committed, but it is a fact which anyone interested both in jusrice and in changing the situation must take into account. A t the end of my fresh.fiman year, I was trolling the streets of Annapolis look- ing for apartments to rent. I house and the price was right. was trying to find a place that The moment that has stuck would allow me and my two with me the most from my roommates, neither of whom time living there occurred had rental history or full time one night as I was walking to jobs, to sign a lease together. seminar. When two teenage Search as we might, no one girls joined me, I told them I wanted to rent to us. One was headed to school They day, after over a month of asked where. I told them St. searching, we turned down John's College. They told me Clay Street, an as yet unex- they had never heard of it beplored neighborhood. It fore. was unlike anywhere we had To my shame, I have done been. We stood out and we little to give back to the comcertainly got a lot of stares: in munity of which I am a part, the course of six blocks, we but hopefully this is a start. were the only white faces. On There are, however, some our left were neglected proj- students here who are makect buildings with haphazard ing positive change in the lawn chairs and empty cloth- community. Several students ing lines. On our right were I know have worked at the old but well-kempt houses. Head Start on Clay Street, alThe young men wore stony though I hear it has recently faces, the young women been tom down. Project laughed, the adults on their Politae was active last year porches gave us cordial hellos. offering volunteer tutoring, We had been in Annapolis a and the Epigenesis program whole year, lived three blocks started by several St. John's away, and had never even had students has offered tutoring the slightest idea of the world as well I encourage all of that existed next door. us to join their ranks and imIn all honesty and humility, prove ourselves, our friends, I felt scared, but we found a and our community. ~ {BLOWING UP DOGS: A NEW COMIC} {ANNOUNCEMENT} Take A Tutor To Lunch By Michael Dink DEAN Students: D earThe "TAKE A TIJTOR TO LUNCH" plan is By Paul Morrill '10, Staff Cartoonist in operation. It permits you a tutor (or, ··---------------------------------------------------·: to invite anyone whofor that works matter, {POLL} I I L_~sn;uctions: _To. submit an ~nswer, ~st choose one of ~e: for the college) to have lunch - ·u: choice, then 1ust tear or cut off this : with you in the dining room or cut it out of the Gadfly and put it : now and then, for free. Just . I tell the person at the door. If you're not on the meal plan imple: hopefully one that provokes you can still do it, and you that people send in answers, and also yourself get a free meal too Lrticipate in, from the freshman who (but not too often, I should es to the Greek assistant that has the say). Tutors will appreciate this ciginal Greek. occasion for conversing with ri/: Honore Hodgson, Pollster you. Most of them are very pleased to be asked. You, on ~ - or-ACHILLES? .___ __..___."---'--~A-l....1...--'L!>U---_J__-£;-l.__LLA..L..LJ DATE DUE 8 THE GADFLY the other hand, get to play host in the easiest way, and to have the company of someone you may have wanted to get to know better. The Food Service and the Dean's Office sponsor this plan. Please make use of it, but with some moderation: no more than four (4) times a month may a student be a host or a taker a guest. Campus Visitors Prospective students and tutors will soon begin to visit out campus. Please take the time to be welcoming, and to answer their questions. It may be a bit of trouble for you on a busy day, but it will be a great service to the visitors and to your college. ~ � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Senior Editor) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 2 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-09-07 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Issue 2 of The Gadfly. Published September 7, 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.2 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/40c14cbe6df244ddc5b7254d300a4998.pdf 5e07767dd030009cd6af493fc4cba2ec PDF Text Text Wiesel's Myriad Wonders How to be Hun1ble Advantages of Hip·Hop The Value of This College THE STUDENT WEEKLY OF ST. JOIJN 1S COLLEGE • ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND • VOLUME Y.XXI, ISSUE FOUR BY KAYLA DELOY Paalntan Settles in as ew ssistant ean F or many peo~le on this can:pus, l\nita Kronsberg s name iJeen synonymous the title i\ssistant Dean for three years of her term. that term ended vear. has been passed o~ to Susy has been a Tutor for twelve vears. Like many good things at St. Jc;hn's, her interest in the A.ssistant Dean vosi. .h . Hon startecl wit. a question. "'1,:1e [; i 1ean asked if I vmuld consider being Assistant Dean," she explains. "I just decided it would be a good thing to do .. .l thought about service to the college and doing something different." She~ >vas e~: ger to see a different side of student life than what she was to. ""mAnd so she is. Paalman volvement in the issues that are affect.- ing students" to be both the best and the worst part of being ,Assistant Dean. She finds it exciting to look for a better vvay to a studer1t or a i·x1r..- ticular the issues she fi~ces can comDlicated "Unexpected things fice~" she quips. However, there are some problems that Paalman definitely expects. "There's the perennial issue of alcohol and drugs and hrnv to handle that," she savs. "The gray area comes in, how you ~espond to infractions ... that's going to vary \Vith the severity the problem." Paalman believes that students who adhere to both the drug and alcohol CONTINUED ON PAGE EIGHT BY LAUREL FISCHER ttendance Policy obody reads the Student Handbook until thev are about to be "asked to take a year o.ff." This, I assume, is because people find most it both boring and obvious. That, however, is a strange reason a Johnnie to turn away from a work. After all, we spend a sizeable part of four vears trving to understand the laws under ·which ...,;;e live in our countrv and trying to determine the umvritte~ the moral laws under which we should live in the world. At least 95% us do this while having no idea what rules \Ve under at St~ ]ohn' s, let alone why they are in place. I am interested in understanding these rules, though, and forgive me if this cohmm goes the way of "Mere Sophistry." This vear' s Student Handbook is available. exclusivelv on the internet because it is a wast~ of money to have them printed and bound for everyone (especially for the people who don't read it). Over the summer, the Registrar's office sent ali of us paperwork to fill out and sign. At the bottom of one of these pages was a statement saying we read, understood, and agreed to abide by all of the policies in the Student Handbook. One of these policies was the then Absence Policv, vvhich stated that six. absences in a si~gle class would put you on Absence Probation, and that somewhere between six. and nine, a class could be counted as Incomplete. At the very latest, \Ve signed the waiv- Reality is esteemed {or its realistic dinosaur costumes. er saying we understood and agreed to this policy at Registration. Almost five calendar davs later, we received notification via can~pus m·ail and campus email t11at the i\bsence Policy had ch.a11gecL The new policy, and the one we currently live under (despite never haYing signed anything stating that \Ve knew of it or agreed to it) states that after six absences, we are automatically withdrawn from a class, even if we have never before received a notice. This is the legal argument. I personally agree this nevv icy. ,As a senior, I have already noticed CONTINUED ON PAGE FOUR �THE GADFLY 60 Cdlege Avenue Annapolis, }.-'\arvland 21401 United States of America Senior Edito> Design Ediwr Copy Editor Kirstie Dodd Keenan Trott-:-.r Elizabeth Spagnoletti Phorography Ediror Chloe. Ginsburg Busint.ss Manager Marin Skokandk lUu.nraror Contributorj {THE MAIL} N.Jah Llrviri Peter Axer Kayla Deu>; Laurd Fischer Katie Kolodzie Aiexa.:.1.der Leone losiah Stevens }p Snvder F ourlded in 1980, The Gadfly is the student weekly distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis caffi. pus. Opinions expressed within are the sole responsibility of the author(s). TI1e Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most professional, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper whidl circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and <>1Jelling in mo;<: cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circumstances. The Gadfly meets every Friday at 7 PM in the lower level of the Barr-Buchanan Center. All articles are due at 11:59 PM every Friday. For display advertisement prices and information, contact Marin Skokandic at marin.skokandic@ sjca.edu. Errors printed herein are, mostly, unintentional. Usually, typos, lni';llellings, and general fahehoods are the product of the human oversight, as opposed to malice. Readers respond to the mystery of the St. John's seal and the value of sacrifzce U pon reading Ms. Dodd's article, "Seal of Approval," in the September 7, 2009 issue of The Gadfiy, I was delighted to see student interest in the history of the St. John's College seal. Ms. Dodd and the Politv mav be interested in reading an article in the St. John's Review by Ms. Charlotte Fletcher (A.'69), our former Library Director. In her article, Ms. Fletch.er suggests that the former St. John's College seal, adopted in 1793, had Masonic roots. She states, "A count of the layers of stones in the pile numbers seven, the usual number of steps leading up to Solomon's temple and a number corresponding to the seven Masonic virtues." The man at the bottom of the pile is carrying a t:-square, a well-known svmbol of the Freemasons. · One other note: the former College seal reads "Est Nulla Via lnvia Virtuti," which Ms. Fletcher translates as "No way impassable to courage." Ms. Fletcher's article is available in the Greenfield Library's Periodicals Collection located on the second floor: Fletcher, Charlotte. "1784: The Year St. John's College was Named." St. John's Review 40.2 (1991): 43-58. Ms. Fletcher -Cara Sabol.cik, Reader Services Librarian ~···THE GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2009 T o say no one likes sacrifice (Blechl, "Good Sacrifices," No. 3) is a terrible generalization. While it's true we are more often embarrassed at self-inflicted trials, we are usually more willing to suffer through externally imposed ones. People relish martyrdom. Mr. Blechl also wTites of the sacrifices we must make to achieve what we really want. Which is fine, but others may not consider it a sacrifice to trade in hours of Rock Band in my common room for hours of studying. Their greater end may to become a better student, and thus: not a sacrifice. And if I myself am true to my character, then there are certain things I should absolutely not be willing to sacrifice for a certain end. Since your morals and convictions are what make you more authentic, truer to what you are, they can never be compromised. It is more important to realize the things worthy of sacrifice than to worship the mere idea of it. Sacrifice is not a part of life the way death is; not inevitable but rather a choice. Mr. Blechl goes on to mention those who sacrifice for our sake. I take offense to the notion that "doing a job" can be constituted as sacrifice. Mr. Blechl calls a reference as such "slapping the hand that feeds." How- ever, being grateful toward a person or group of people for doing their work efficientlv and - competently is much more respectful than to imagine their life and work as just one huge sacrifice for your sake only. If a tutor does his job in order to make money, fine. If that same tutor does his job because he loves St. Joh~'s, teaching, learning, etc., even better. What sacrifice is he making if he is doing what he loves or he cares about us, as Mr. Blechl claims? Exactly what is he giving up when he does a job that pays his bills? He may have made very personal sacrifices, but I hardly think that has anything to do with his affectionate feelings toward any kind of larger community. Perhaps such affections are precisely what keeps him working. (Or perhaps I just read too much Ay-n Rand th.is summer.) -Elizabeth Spagnol.etti, Mr. Blechl's GiHiam neighbor THE CORRECTIONS In Issue Three, a poem and short article by Jerome Dausman was misattributed to another contributor, Jerry Januszewski. �{COMMENT} Elie Wiesel Visits St. John's N ever underestimate the unscrupulousness of the general public. And don't think that iust because they're lined up . to \Vatch a Nobel Prize laureate speak that they are above sitting in the seats marked "reserved." Of course this all comes to me as mere hearsay- I didn't get a chance to see what the inside of the auditorium looked like on last Tuesday afternoon. Even though my 2:20 language class let out ten minutes early, even though that class was in Mellon Hall, less than one hundred yards from the doors of FSK, and even though I went straight to the auditorium in my longest, most sweeping strides, I was still turned awav at the door bv our faitht~ll Officer Har~, who informed me that the auditorium was full of "students, faculty, staff, friends and neighbors." (No hard feelings, Officer Hare.) Those friends and neighbors were sitting in mv seat. Of course, the public can hardly be blamed for being the public, and we should be proud to have been able to furnish so many with the opportunity to hear a person like Mr. Wiesel speakbut maybe we need to think about a way to prioritize for students and, oh yeah, the Board of Visitors and Governors. That's right, I heard it through the grapevine that some of our own more-precious-than-ever benefactors were not able to sit in the auditorium in seats designated for them. Also amongst the shunted and shunned were several tutors, Ms. Paalman, and Ellen 0 . Moyer, the Mayor of Annapolis (okay, so Moyer was late, but still...). Yours trulv had to take a seat on tl~e conversation room floor where I tried my best to stave off my anger and pay attention to the very important man \Vavering around on the screen in front of me. Thanks camera guys'. Though my feelings on the logistics of the Wiesel lecture may not have been worthy of a Homeric epic, I \Vas not going down without a pout. Some of you may have spoken to me between 5:30 and 6:30 pm last Tuesday. I was the guy walking around with smoke pouring out of his ears, waving a petition, and perhaps prodding you with a pen. Perhaps this brings back memories for some 45 of you: \V'e the undersigned hereby make a formal request to the administration of St. John's College for the creation of an official policy that on the day or evening of any lecture or performance the doors of the Francis Scott Key Auditorium not be opened, nor any public audience in any other \vav be admitted to said· auditorium, while any tutorial or seminar be in session. 45 signatures in an hour is not too shabbv. The following morning I recovered my sense of diplomacy before taking the petition to Dean Dink. Mr. Dink responded more or less as I expected, informing me that the administration needed little remonstration from the student body in order to understand that they ought to make better plans for next time. He suggested that it may be more constTuctive to be more subtle and thoughtful in crafting ideas to ha;dle possible future situations like this a little better. I have to say I agree. Let's remember that the administration was as surprised by the turnout on Tuesday as most of the rest of us, but let's also remember that having guests as distinguished as Mr. Wiesel is something we would very much like to do again in tl~e future. Such guests are the most likely to have schedules that don't conform to our own. For future situations such as these, perhaps it would be best to put Security on the doors and close Mellon hall to the Public until ten minutes after classes let out. Perhaps we could shorten classes across the board. And speaking of the Board, maybe we could make sure that people like them (and the Mayor) get key cards to open Mellon. Maybe instituting a policy like this for all notable lectures and concerts, and making sure that these lectures and concerts are more publicized, would be a way to help our Board of Visitors and Governors get a little bigger. - Josiah Ste<1.1ens that by looking. You have to wait for him to open his mouth, and then his power is revealed. I managed to get a seat in the auditorium close to the stage. Without exaggeration, he held my attention effortlessly for the whole two hours that he spoke. This should be no surprise: he's an excellent speaker, and the stories he tells about his own life are enthralling. And yet, isn't the fact that he can communicate so well with people like us possibly the most spectacular achievement of his life? He spoke about varied subjects, ranging from the purpose of education, to the human condition, to the meaning of Abraham's sacrifice on Mount Moriah. And somehow I feel like I derived value from all of it. Despite the disparity of our lives, despite the depths of pain he has gone through, he can still reach across all the divides and help me to better understand things within my own life. This ability to communicate t about one o'clock on meaningfully and seemingly Tuesday, I \Vas study- effortlesslv with other huing out on the quad, when I mans stoC::d out most strongly looked up and saw an older in Q&A period. I'm not sure man ambling across the if he expected this to happen, grass. He was smiling under but several people asked him his fly-away hair, shaking intensely personal questions hands and exchanging a few on subjects such as his faith words with Johnnies \Vho and Holocaust deniers. He crossed his path. It took a took them all in good stride, moment for me to recognize answering a few with brief who I was seeing: Elie Wi- jokes and giving longer explaesel. There's no special glow nations to others. The miracle of human around people like him, no flashing neon declaring this communication is that it man's accomplishments. Mr. spans such gaps so effortlessWiesel has experienced both ly. Perhaps the most enduring the nadir of our cruel indif- thing I took from. his lecture ference and the peak of our was the belief that nothing understanding; ·he has sur- can force us to stop talking to vived things I cannot truly each other and deriving value imagine, written bestselling from that communication. - Katie Kol.odzie books, and won a Noble Peace Prize. But you can't tell A THE GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2009 ~ '~ ~ �{DICTIONARY DlVlNC} How to be Humble JP considers becoming a lexicographer, but decides he's just too good at sports ,lP SYNDER S o son1eone came to me with this idea to write an article on how to humble, I had to go up the \Vorel, as l had never heard it before. Once I fornred out 1-vhat the word me~nt, I realized that this nerson was being sarcastic I ~1ecided to writ~ this article anvvvav B.D'\1one else ha~n't' vet he:m1 this and to l~elp you of your former misgivings. First off~ why viould anyone want to be humble? Have vou even looked it up like 1 have? Three of its definitions are mortifying: "having a feeling of insignificance,'' "low in rank or status," and, the 1-vorst, "lmv in height." Yeah, yeah, it can'- also mean courteously respectful, but in mv humble oDinion (1 can sav tl{at tl{is word is vastly overrated. I can hear some of vou now, those who remem'ber 1.vhat Socrates said, "But what if I want to appear to be humble? How can 1 reap the benefits such a \vord without subiecting myself to such stimiditV?" The truth is you cam~ot. This is one of those hidden caveats of the word where there is nothing vou can do vomself without ~ctuaHv actu~lizing the word. Sure, ~ou can thr;aten someone v,:ith a beating, forcing him to compliment you i.n front that one cute on how great your exploits are in intramurals or Seminar so you can coolly shrug it off. But your secret is out and that kid, probably someone like Thomas Mvers, knows the truth theret~n' negating vour goal. . He~e is the secret. To those of vou who aren't sublime at sp~rts, an intellectual badass in Seminar, or really have nothing going for them, you don't need to kno\v this can to some article. For evervone else, being humble is ve~y difficult. A~ La said "Plenof people wish to be pious, no one yearns to be humble." And, "It is a great abilitv to be able to con~eal one's allility." It is against man's nature to >vant to be humble. It offends him. If have practiced your in a particular sport, shouldn't you be recognized? If you reread vour Seminar reading th.re~ times and killed it in.,class, you praise of a tutor 1Nho has seen how hard vou worked? The ans;,ver is y:es. The problem is that, in societv, it is seen as negative to be ~ware and proul of how well you did. \Ve strive here at St. John's to lead examined lives and yet \Ve are not supposed to know >vhen we do something l'ma call BuHShit on that one. lt's gotten to the point \Vhere one does not even need to speak to called arrogant. If you are already good at sornething and practice because you want to get even better, be prepared for someone to are showing THE GADFLYi SEPTEMBER 2009 cause those people recognize their own deficiencv in their soul. Thev know. vou are but, instead of praise, will admonish vou for being better than th~m. To them there is no difference between stating facts that vou are better and lording it ~)Ver them. I know that I ;m good at snorts. I have worked~ very ha;d to way, I refuse to arrogant for aware this fact. It i;ains me to see 1 peopl.e who nave too humilitv. You are amazing at what.you do, yet you hold yourself back in fear what Clthers might sav. For those whc;· have . not gotten e11ougl1 Tecogr1itio11, tl1is is your praise. Be proud Johnnies of who you are, how hard you work, and how smart you really are. Don't be arrogant and don't be humble. Be aware. Recognize the beauty in your soul and refuse to let it be held in check. I'll start. No one came up to me 1.-vith av1esome idea to vvrite on humility. 1 thought it up mvselfbecause I am amazing. Also, HUHS-el-errs!!!~ ., ~ ~ FROM PAGE ONE: FISCHER shoddv attendance in mv classm'ates, and it does affect the class. Also, it is deplorth_at \Ve~ as adultsl \Vere not responsible for keeping track of our own absences~ I can in1agi11e it becomes more difficult 'Nhen you miss more than six per d~;s per seme~ter.) There are, ot course, aiwavs eood rea~ons for missing dass,- and as the Handbook states, if you talk to your tutor or the Ass~stant Dean about why . . ' you re m1ss1ng Gass, vou rrwv have more \viggle roo'm. , A real p~;blem comes from. tutors though. In previous years, t1_itors sometimes didn't turn in their absences on time (or at all) and then students slid by on this fact combined with the lack notice given for probation. l\.11 that aside, if vou're missing class, you'~e ~issing class, and it ultimately has been up to your tutor in combination with the i\.ssistant Dean to remove vou from the class. I wouldn't hold my breath the aforementioned legal argument will get you out -1 . ( trouDie, _so ,my auv1ce ,especially to iTeshrnen) is to go to class, and if you can't, d; the obvious thing and maintain a dialogue with your tutor about it. '!V' i ]';fr, "lvi: So yeah, •.vhiie everyone ivas hn"ving their orgasms of undentanding today in u:as strugghng in tlu confused as ever. Mr. B: It's all corner~ rnan, it an)'Way. stiH were "'j �l {OliT AND ABOUT} The Advantages Why you should listen to hip-hop PETER AXER {01'1G} Reality Goes JURASSIC!! seriously I got into hip-hophaving bethree years ago, producers vvhat to do as they stand in the recording booth. come bored with rock and Consider Q-Tip of A Tribe roll. As I started listening to Called Quest, "Turn everyrappers rap about their rela- thing up in the headphones." tionships to hip hop culture, (This, of course, can also be music, their fans, and the understood as a command record industry, I thought to the listener). Rappers go about the meaning and the so far as to describe the efemotion behind rap music. fects of their music on the The entire perspective from listener, and perhaps no which a rapper approaches one does this more elohis verse, or his musical piece, quently or profoundly than is entirely different from rock Rakim in FoUow the Leader. and roll or any sung music. The reason rappers, proThe first major difference ducers, and DJs make their between rap and the major- control of the music so obviity of sung music is that rap ous is because hip-hop is an is an intentionally self-con- expression of a person's will, scious art. Hip Hop albums his/her mastery of music, often make it obvious that a language, rhythm, ideas, and recording is being made, and feelings. While sung music that the producer or DJ and has a tradition of expressthe rapper are in control of ing feelings through emothis process. Perhaps the first tional singing, the cadence time this happened in popu- of hip-hop is often confronlar music was on The Beatles' tational, even when a rapper Revovver, where "Taxman" is expressing vulnerability or begins with the sound of the thoughtfulness. There are studio and somebodv count- many reasons for this, but ing off the song's me,ter. It is the main one I think is that a part of the essence of hip hip-hop culture is socially hop music, unlike rock and radical: it asserts the will of roll, that at the very forefront the rapper, or beat-maker or of the musical experience, DJ, to fashion an honorable, the listener is aware that the honest, and triumphant life rap artists are molding his for himself independent of experience of their music. traditional social norms and For this reason, albums, and institutions, which are often mixtapes especially, have the mism1sted and criticized. DJ cutting a track which inOf course, sung popular cludes the vocals that the music also has examples of rapper has already recorded, maintaining this attitude, repeating the first 2-8 bars of like in the self-assertive music rhyming one or more times of The Clash, Bob Dylan, and before the DT lets the record of course James Brown, if you spin through its entirety. can call his music sung. (Punk Rappers can often be rockers listen up: 1 don't heard on records telling their equate the independent atti- tude of rap to punk because much punk is too ironic and cynical to be comparable to the triumphant expression of will inherent in hip hop). A.s a musical art which incorporates words, hip hop expresses emotion and opinions straight from the rapper' s mind, as he would spit them to an enemv or competitor. These en~mies can be rival rappers, racist people with power, Death, or Time with its equalizing effect on all human stories of the past. Listen to Pharoahe Monch' s "Queens "andOC' s "T·ime ' s . . Up." It is artists like these who assert against Time's ubiquitous destructiveness that some stories are worthy of being told to the future. The fact that rappers place themselves at the forefront of rap makes hip-hop music more self-indulgent but also more immediately personal (though no less artful) than much rock and sung music. It gets deeper, though: the most profound rappers use their blatant mastery of the art to invite vou into their thoughts and ~isions for the sake of an intimate, meaningful experience with the listener, intended to inspire you to live your life with greater independence and passion. Rakim' s words quoted above are such an invitation.~ JOHNNIE QUOTES Ms. C: You know, I don't know if God talked to Aln-aham, but I am damn wen sure he talked to Ptolemy. THE GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2009··~~ �{DODD ON THE QUAD} Sorry, Winkie The good of outside sources KIRSTIE DODD I f to err is to be then my humanity pops out in sundrv olaces: covert ice cream binge~, a love of all VH 1 Celebre~lity shows, an.. '{ious biting, the occasional rejection of flossing, unintentional misuse of the words and "less." These are the little transgressions I deal Dodd-on-Dodd, so 1'11 iust mention them and leave lt at that. (Plm an my commentary on "Daisy of Love" would be kind of disgusting in The Gadfly, l think.) 1 will air out my greatest transgression against this fine institution-a faux pas so it sounds like '~fokes pass." Some~.;v·here Stringfellow "Winkie'' Barr is churning in his grave, but I must confess: I make frec1uent exee:etical foravs into back c~.;_,er/introd{ICtion/ frcnt script/foot-note territory on almost every Great Book. Yeah, 1 said it. I like to read outside sources. I that like Voldemort and Prostate Cancer and Racism, the "outside source" is something we don't like to acknowledg~ here at school. \X'hen I'm guiltily scanning the Wikipedia page about a Prne:ram author before seminar,'· I remember some of Pa1~1' s more tortured Dassages in Romans about th~ nar{;re of sin: "I do not understand what I do. For what l want to do I not do, but \Vhat 1 hate I do [Romans 7:15]." Lately, though, I've been vvondering about mv outside source guilt. How much outside source material is too much when reading a Program author? Am 1 going to Program purgatory, or am I for freezing rair1) snmv and rivers boiling can agree that an outside source will distort the 1;vay cne read:: a text, but son1e outside sources are-in a Catholic church kind of vvay-"more sinful" than others. Spark.Notes, CliftNotes, and anv other internet interpretafo~n/summary is bound to put you in the fifth or sixth circle of Inferno, just a circles away from beer-ponging state school CUCH>lHl1'' ' arid l"'IO<lJl'-lT·l~IS Judging the severity own offense, I'm probin Program Limbo. My iournev to the land of sec~1ndary sources is meant basic information about an author, and sometimes I go for sheer amusemer1t. It helps me to know the text's dates of composition and at a ii-1fOrn1ation about the author to place the book somewhere on the long shelf of history. No one can fault me for that, right? Perhaps the danger comes from going beyond this bare minimum, because I have a tendency to look up a Program author like an eHarmony profile. I want to Like GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2009 HUC"~"· to knmv \vhat he looks like. to hear his voice in mv h~ad when I'm reading hi~ words, to discover his habits and personality traits. course, I have to restrain myself from blurting things out in seminar like "Pericles was a hottie!" and "Did vou know Lobachevskv is called the Copernicus · Cieometry?l?!" because a) they make me sound like a freaky preteen girl and b) they do nothing to help the conversation and c) comments like that are a surefire way to get fifteen angry glares boring through vour embarrassed skull. . But because I've to have a teatime relationship \vith each Program aud1or, over the course of three vears I've stockpiled a each~ Great Personalities that may one dav contribute to onset schizophrenia. I've taken Kam' s broad forehead, pallid, powder-damped cheeks, ~111d nose~ <111d I imagined him 1.vriting Critique of Pure Reason in a feverish German. George Eliot, with her long and v;eepy eves. has taken on c~l ~ignificance after readine: that Henry James regarded her as "magnificently ugly ... deliciouslv hideous." So as a ~inner needs a compatriot, I now share my vice with you. I have compiled a little list my favorite tidbits Program you might not ··have known, taken from mv own research. These facts a~e as reliable as I can get them (which means they a~e a little more reliable than things in National EnquiTei· and a little less reliable than things in GeograJJhic): 1. Wittgenstein could the clarinet and had lute pitch perfection, and his older brother was a concert pianist, even after arm was amputated in \vWL 2. Nietzsche had girly handw1iting. 3. Bertrand Russell couldn't keep a vvifey 11e ;vas n1:1rried four tirnes. Also, \vhen talks Aristotle's Ethics. he savs it . . is " to a man any dept'1 l feeling cannot be but repulsi\~. and calls his logic "as definitelv anticmated ~as Ptolemaic astronom;." There goes freshman and sopho-more vear. 4. St. Augustine is Augustine of Hippo ... as in iwwrn"''." Africa. My book COVConfessions depicted as a pasty guy locked up in some medieval abbey. Hmm. 5. Anselm's sexualitv is a fiercely debated , in some academic circles. 6. Hume's favorite piece of silverware was a fork. This is because he '>Vas Scottish. 7. There ;.vasn't much dirt I ~ DU11 U1) .H ' - God. . it seems . . e s pretty good at clutching His cards close to His chest. 8. Bach chuckled to himwhen he composed "Air on a G String" because it was a subtle ode to his favorite type of underwear. 9. Immanuel Kant was baptized "Emanuel Kant," that spelling wasn't good enough tCJr him. He changed his o~vn name to "Imma11uel" 1ear11ing Hebrevv meaning was "(~od with us." 1 missed that whole Kant-asMessianic-figure part of junior year because I was too busy cursing him as Satan. 10. Kepler's mom was tried· as a ·witch, his first wife died of Hungarian spotted fover, and after her death considered eleven different matches. 11. Newton •Nas a JJremature When he di~d, the autopsy revealed extremely high levels mercury in his b~dy from his alchemy obsession. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. So much for atonement. §r' I I �T H E GADFLY REVIEW {THIS COLLEGE} For What It's Worth The value of a liberal education MICHAEL LACY was M yfulldorm last yearhome. of crap from entries or therapy sessions wish to repent for being from could cure. I think this is why Sodom-like New England, and understand where this These objects were mostly I came to St. John's College. I've been wondering if this curly-haired heathen sailor is traps for dust that worsened my psychosomatic sleep ap- was a good reason to come coming from. nea and cluttered my mental here. If we wish to know ourJessica Steer, a freshman, workspace. The most interest- selves, the reason we came told me she wanted an ining relic was a writing note- here seems to be something sight into "how people interbook from my junior English we must understand. It is the act, the benefits of philosoclass. My writing there is efficient cause, the agent that phy, and abstract concepts." probably the (unintention- brought us to liberal educa- She described her home in ally) funniest it will ever be. tion, and St. John's in partic- Virginia Beach as: "a shaJ... It is snarky, irreverent, offen- ular. If we find out what a lib- lov/ place ... there's definitely sive, and hypocritical. I assail eral education is for and what not enough appreciation of my school system for trying to it can do (if indeed it does do the arts." In clarification, she expel me for smoking weed something and is not truly meant the liberal arts, but on a field trip the year before: useless), then we should see also she felt the visual arts "Those Puritans!" Don't get if we can align these causes, would have a better appreme started on standardized or if we came here for the ciation in this Polity than in tests. \vrong reasons'. So I talked other places. This reminded But starting in entry to some people. me of what Mr. Zuckerman, twelve, I get more resigned. Senior Pavlos Papadopou- a former St. Toh.n's Tutor told The assignment was, "De- los told me he did not come me Wednesday afternoon. scribe your high school to here to read Great Books. In his COzY home just a a new student." Instead of In a discussion in the coffee block from campus, I disanswering the question I shop Friday morning, he re- cussed with him his experiasked, "How can I address vealed he was more interested ence with liberal education the situation, the morals (or "in the form than content" of and St. John's. Bookshelves lack thereof!) of my school in St. John's, and in a way still line every wall, one with a an emotionally draining and is. Avoiding the SATs was a Nietzsche collection bigger sincere-less manner, focusing major factor in his looking than most bookstore's selfon the humorously negative into the college, but he was help section. Well-used sheet parts of the schools." This more repelled by all other music is organized in cubbies theme, this frustration with standardized-testing-based beside his upright piano, and my lack of conviction about schools, than attracted to stacks of his original paintanything, but my willingness SJC. He also spoke of a desire ings lie unceremoniously on to crap on anything, reoccurs to "free his mind of prejudic- the floor, awaiting his upthroughout the later entries. es" he developed throughout coming gallery show. ZuckerI lament my constant analysis his life, such as his New Eng- man does not appear to be and critique of everything, land aversion to organized a man limited to the art of including myself, a habit religion. As a Virginian, I thinking. that no number of journal can see why someone would He was brought up to be a concert pianist, as his family deeply valued the performing arts. In his declarative act of rebellion, he attended the High School of Music and Arts in New York City as an art, not music, student. He wrote a book on Wagner's Tristan and Isolde and taught political history at Columbia (after never taking a course in the subject) before studying literature at Cambridge. He then found out about St. John's quite by chance. While visiting a painter friend, he met Douglas .Alenbrook, who Zuckerman claims: "besides Zuckerkandl, was the most important person with St. John's Music Program." The rest is history. Are there 'wrong reasons' to come here? Maybe \vrong' in the sense one might not get certain desires fulfilled, like if one were to come here to quit smoking. James Flaim, a sophomore, claims to have come for the high.speed-internet. But if there is something to gain from this education, or something beneficial is done to us by being here, how wonderful, how much more potent these books and ideas would seem if we could partake in their power without even asking for them by name . ...- THE GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2009 �\j {BLOWING UP DOGS} FROM PAGE ONE: DELOY 'I:1":I..bl~ A E?rl11.t.. 1"1<J'i£~i>, ~11£. ...,~ ~'f ~ 'ICOV Moa. WlTI-1. tlct '<¢1.tR '?~ 'F~T1Mt:. T1'°""1t. »a"'? policy and to what they have \!M.llfi> '(ou ( decided is best for them will 1):'iWt't'\.! l'l"t do well with this issue. She is prepared, however, to face the problems that arise when students break their word to be responsible members of the Polity and when the physical aspects of drinking -PauL "I'm LegaL" MarriLL and drug use have become which m1ssmg class is the dangerous. {PUZZLE} on each man's head. The two Whether about alcohol or best option. hard to craft hats left over are hidden. The anything else, when disciplin- an attendance policy for that blindfolds are then removed. ary problems are brought to reason," she reflects. annibals ambush a sa- It is said to the men that if Paalman' s work on the ather office, Paalman has one fari in the jungle and one of them can guess what piece of ~dvice for those in- tendance policy is very much volved: "Honesty goes a long in keeping with her philoso- capture three men. The can- color hat he is wearing they way. It's impractical in a place phy about the Assistant Dean nibals give the men a single can all leave unharmed. The man in the rear who this size to think you will get position. "I see this role as chance to escape unharmed. away with a lie." That being being... a helpful role for the The captives are lined up in can see both of his friends' said, Paalman wants to be snidents and community," order of height and are tied hats but not his own says, clear that she is not out to get she states. She is eager to to stakes. The man in the "I don't know." The middle anyone, although discipline listen to anyone with a prob- rear can see the backs of his man who can see the hat of is a necessary part of her job. lem, but also to anvone with two friends, the man in the the man in front, but not his She is a strong believer in an idea. It is clear V.:here Paal- middle can see the back the mvn says, "I don't know." dealing with each situation man' s focus lies when she man in front, and the man in The front man who cannot see anybody's hat says, "I indivicluallv. "One of the vir- declares, "what the .A• .ssistant front cannot see anyone. The cannibals show the know!" How did he know tues of bei~g a small college Dean's ~ffice does is help stuis that you can take things on dents run themselves." She men five hats. Three of the the color of his hat and what a case by case basis. I would is not alone in her efforts; hats are black and two of the color was it?" The solution to the previfeel like I were doing a disser- "one of the best parts of this hats are white. Blindfolds vice to the students of the col- is meeting all of the people are then placed over each ous puzzle is 64. -Elizabeth Fleming lege if I were too formulaic." in the offices and seeing how man's eyes and a hat is placed All of this sounds familiar dedicated they are," she says. {ATHLETES OF THE WEEK} from the days of Kronsberg, Paalman herself has received but Paalman has already some assistance too: "A lot of made one major change: de- people have been helpful," fined consequences for miss- including Kronsberg. "She's ing more than five classes in a a really good resource." nitorial and more than three This is particularly true classes in a seminar, mak- . about one very important asing the Absence Policy more pect of being Assistant Dean: structured than in the past. taking care of Cady. Krons"My hope was to help out berg has given Paalman sage the students and tutors by advice about handling the making something that was campus dog, and Cady has a little more clear," Paalman lost no time in trying to play says. She felt that students one Assistant Dean off of the did not have enough infor- other. "Cady made the admation about the policy, and justment very well," Paalman the .Assistant Dean needed to says with a smile. give the tutors more support The same can be said of on the issue. The new policy Paalman, and although she requires more judgment does not yet know what she on the part of the students wants her legacy to be, perabout how to use absences, haps she too will make it into but Paalman acknowledge~ a Senior Prank skit in her last that there are situations in year as Assistant Dean. '!1V' ( l "Its Men in Hats C ~-"THE GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2009 I � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Senior Editor) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 4 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-09 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Issue 4 of The Gadfly. Published September 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.4 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/57db6cbd94b321776f924fe6f1b03e58.pdf ba9adb0b72352f364b496d13194d46a1 PDF Text Text ~Adventures in An Interview With Eva Brann Veganism "Story of the Eye" and More page 5 The Week in Review page 8 THE~GADFLY THE STUDENT WEEKLY OF ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE • Ai'\INAPOUS, MARYl_AND •VOLUME XXXI, ISSUE FIVE IVlon.ey BY JOSIAH STEVENS Getting the Bottom Line from Bronte Jones If BY MORGAN STEPHENSON Januszewski on Life and Everything Else A few weeks ago, amidst the rush of adrenaline and blur of exhaustion that was freshman orientation, 30 minutes or so really stood out for me, capturing my attention in a way that the Public Safety chats and tours of Mellon-while necessary and great in their own right, don't get me wrong-just couldn't. Surprisingly, these stand-out 30 minutes occurred in the Health Office as l listened to the newest counselor and substance abuse specialist, Jerry Januszewski, give an "anti-substance abuse" speech. Not generally the most enthralling topic. But the content of this speech was a far cry from the stereotypical "be safe, no drinking, don't do drugs" ordeal we were all expecting. On the contrary, I don't think Januszewski uttered the words "no" or "don't" a single time; he was far too busy endorsing the pursuit of "deep, delicious pleasure." Yes, that's right, deep, delicious, pleasure. Hmm, and this was an anti-substance lecture you say? Let me try to explain. We humans are hedonistic by nature, was Mr. Januszewski' s arguement, and we have to learn how best to incorporate these hedonistic desires for comfort and pleasure into our day to day lives and responsibilities. After presenting sever21 different methods and philosophies on how to achieve this, Januszewski shared his personal conclusion with us: it is not the shortterm, instantly gratifying pleasures that should be sought after, for not only do those often clash with our resnonsibilities and obligations, but they ~lso, after a time, cease to please. Rather, it is the long term pleasures that come from self achievement, goal completion, and deep, strong relationships that should CONTINUED ON PAGE SEVEN you should ever happen by Bronte Jones's office, you may notice the abundance of elephant statues and images. If you look closely, you'll notice that all of the elephants have their right foot forward and their trunks lifted in the air. This is because St. John's treasurer Bronte Jones is a member of Delta Sigma Theta, an A.trican American soro~ity whose members are expected to be upwardly mobile and put their own right foot forward in their careers. This is what it sounds like when Ms. Jones puts her foot down: - "My job here at St. John's is to remind us to safeguard college assets; that's buildings, people, and funds, while ensuring the safe and efficient use of our resources." She says this af ter Dausing a moment to frame her respo~se. With her training, experience, and dedication, Bronte Jones is not to be confused with an accountant. She earned an MBA in Finance and a PhD in Higher Education Administrat10n from the University of Texas in Austin. Her first job was Vice President of Huston Tillotson University in Austin, where she stayed for t'No years. Here at St. John's, she quietly plays the role of President Nelson's close second, following markets, watching expenditures, and making sure the Johnnie ship stays afloat. To cut it short, Bronte Jones is kind of a bad ass. When I ask her specific questions about the budget, she quickly rifles through an impressive collection of files, pulling out reports and quickly leafing through them to pin-point the relevant information. Here are some clarifying CONTINUED ON PAGE EIGHT �The Week in Review An Interview With Eva Brann Adventures in Veganism "Story of the Eye" and More page2 page 4 page 5 pages THE~GADFLY THE STUDENT WEEKLY OF ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE •ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND •VOLUME XXXI, ISSUE FIVE Money BY JOSIAH STEVENS Getting the Bottom Line from Bronte Jones If Profile BY MORGAN sTEPHENsoN Januszewski on Life and Everything Else A few weeks ago, amidst the rush of adrenaline and blur of exhaustion that was freshman orientation, 30 minutes or so really stood out for me, capturing my attention in a way that the Public Safety chats and tours of Mellon-while necessary and great in their own right ' don' t get me wrong-just couldn't. Surprisingly, these stand-out 30 minutes occurred in the Health Office as I listened to the newest counselor and substance abuse specialist, Jerry Januszewski, give an "anti-substance abuse" speech. Not generally the most enthralling topic. But the content of this speech was a far cry from the stereotypical "be safe, no drinking, don't do drugs" ordeal we were all expecting. On the contrary, I don't think Januszewski uttered the words "no" or "don't" a single time; he was far too busy endorsing the pursuit of "deep, delicious pleasure." Yes, that's right, deep, delicious, pleasure. Hmm, and this was an anti-substance lecture you say? Let me try to explain. We humans are hedonistic by nature, was Mr. Januszewski' s arguement, and we have to learn how best to incorporate these hedonistic desires for comfort and pleasure into our day to day lives and responsibilities. After presenting several different methods and philosophies on how to achieve this, Januszewski shared his personal conclusion with us: it is not the shortterm, instantly gratifying pleasures that should be sought after, for not only do those often clash with our responsibilities and obligations, but they also, after a time, cease to please. Rather, it is the long term pleasures that come from self achievement, goal completion, and deep, strong relationships that should CONTINUED ON PAGE SEVEN you should ever happen by Bronte Jones's office, you may notice the abundance of elephant statues and images. If you look closely, you'll notice that all of the elephants have their right foot forward and their trunks lifted in the air. This is because St. John's treasurer Bronte Jones is a member of Delta Sigma Theta, an African American sorority whose members are expected to be upwardly mobile and put their own right foot forward in their careers. This is what it sounds like when Ms. Jones puts her foot down: "My job here at St. John's is to remind us to safeguard college assets; that's buildings, people, and funds, while ensuring the safe and efficient use of our resources." She says this after pausing a moment to frame her response. With her training, experience, and dedication, Bronte Jones is not to be confused with an accountant. She earned an MBA in Finance and a PhD in Higher Education Administration from the University of Texas in Austin. Her first job was Vice President of Huston Tillotson University in Austin, where she stayed for two years. Here at St. John's, she quietly plays the role of President Nelson's close second, following markets, watching expenditures, and making sure the Johnnie ship stays afloat. To cut it short, Bronte Jones is kind of a bad ass. When I ask her specific questions about the budget, she quickly rifles through an impressive collection of files, pulling out reports and quickly leafing through them to pin-point the relevant information. Here are some clarifying CONTINUED ON PAGE EIGHT �T H E W E E K I N REVIEW QQQQQ QQQQQ QQQQQ N ew York Magazine said that War- ren Spector '81 remains "highly unlikely to be employed" after his departure from Bear Stearns, the fallen investment bank. There, Spector managed several hedge funds backed by sub-prime mortgages, a strategy now infamous for compromising the global financial system. ''When Rome was burning, he was playing bridge,'' the article said. (Spector is a distinguished bridge player.) "[His] lack of judgement will make it hard for any board to entertain him as a viable candidate at any level." Spector still serves on the Board of Visitors and Governors, the body in charge of making key financial decisions for the College. Ms. Waters fielded comments about the dining hall from more than twenty RA.'s. Waters said she would pass them onto Mr. Langely, who oversees the dining hall. A group of students celebrated the autumnal equinox by feasting in front of the Ptolemy Stone. Maggie Mohr, a sophomore, was playing her cello on a nearby bench. Why the cello? "I first tried playing the violin when I was little, but then I realized the violin sucks really hard," she said. Mohr, who ~THE GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2009 has been a cellist since she was 9, performed several of her own pieces. The dining hall ran out of forks during supper. Brooks Pendergast, who had attended Monday's R.A. meeting, felt "really, really bad" about the situation. The Gadfly came out. F ollowing the morning's crew practice, a cluster of G.l. students discussed rowing near the planetarium. "That'll drive the boat," one of them said enthusiastically; the rest murmured in agreement "That's our G.1.-Five," explained Marin Skokandic, the Gadfly's business manager. They seemed rather professional, too. "They're actually still in [the] Learn-to-Row [program]," he said. Robert Sale, a senior, attended the mailroom during the late shift. He was studying a copy of Gentleman's Quarterly. Sale has worked there since his freshman year. "I like [working here]. It's helpful to the community," he said. Strips of translucent Scotch tape with "W/D" written on them were affixed across the openings of certain mailboxes. "[It means] 'withdrawn'," Sale said. M s. Bailey, an employee here, manned the switchboard in the afternoon. "It's been busy,'' she said. Bailey then took three successive calls. ''But it's a good job. I live locally, so I don't have to travel too far." She was explaining that she has worked at St. John's for four years when she received another call. "Be right there, be right there," Bailey told the person on the other end. She had to go; Someone was waiting for her at the coffee shop. Prospective students and their families toured around campus. Virginia Harness, a junior tour guide, was standing in the food preparation area during supper. "I'm still working," she said, before sitting down to eat with a handful of high schoolers considering St. John's. W 1-l<.!l>..l.i rren Spector was called at his home in Manhattan. (His telephone number is listed publicly.) Several rings led to his voicemail. As of publication, Spector has not returned the call. Alumni stormed the campus for Homecoming. In the dining hall, students argued about which is more culturally relevant: music or the written word. They also ate with alumni, who told stories about their lives here. Spector, who is responsible for the construction of Spector Hall as well as the campus dog, Cadie, was nowhere to ~ be found. �T H E ,.-_ .. ' v- ··. M A I L .... . Johnnies and Judaism A friend of mine recently informed me that one of his classmates was upset about the posters I put up some time ago conerning Jewish life on campus_ Although I thought the jokes to be moderately witty and poking loving, gentle fun at my religion, I hate for someone to have the wrong impression. I am a proud Jew, and I most certainly did not mean to insult my own heritage. Judaism is about way, way more than good matzah ball soup or guilt-trips. It's a tradition, heritage, culture, mindset, and way of life going back thousands of years. It's rooted in the Qewish) Bible, known in Hebrew by its acronym Tanakh (Torah, Nevi'im/ Prophets and K'tuvim/Writings). As a scholarly tradition, the most prized members of the community were those skilled at understanding texts. It's also a culture capable of laughing, both at itself and at the world. It's a heritage filled with fine culinary delights, such as pastrami on rye, matzah ball soup, and Challah. It's a way of life where even secret agents don't mess with Jewish moth- ers. (Or at the very least, Jewish grandmothers ... .I seriously pity the secret agent who tries to cross my grandmother. Really.) But I wouldn't want anyone to think that I was discriminating, so I offer this classmate a non-Jewish joke as well: A non-Jew calls his mother and says, "Mother, I know you're expecting me for dinner this evening, but something important has come up, and I can't make it_" His mother says, "OK." -Hannah Pasternak Shammai Archon Ms. Pasternak wilt be hosting a Sabbath dinner next Friday at 6: 15 just outside of Chase-Stone House. T o Mr. Stevens's two-anda-half column railing against the incident of Mr. Wiesel's lecture in last week's Gadfly, I would like to say two important things: First, Mr. Stevens (and frankly, I'm sure most of the "victims"), in his seethe has neglected to give any thought or thanks to Mr. Tom Light, the local hard-working A/V manager who crafted that complex video/sound pro- jection set-up. Without his ingenuity or persistent work, Mr. Stevens would not have even gotten to see or hear Mr. Wiesel at all, even if his face on the camera wavered a few times in the beginning. Second, as Mr. Light's assistant, I want to apologize for the few episodes of imageshaking during the lecture. I was manning the camera and my perfectionist tendencies mixed with a really crappy tripod are what caused them. -Andrew Mize he T like Gadfly staff would to thank those who have been supportive of this publication's ressurrection. It is never easy to get any kind of student endeavor off the ground, much less back on its own two feet, so encouragement helps a lot. A few announcements: Kirstie Dodd is being installed as Editorin-Chief, after a brief tenure as Senior Editor. Elizabeth Spagnoletti will assume to the role of Junior Editor, after stints as Layout and Copy Editor. The Gadfly appreciates Patrick Beeby for his enduring support, too. We would not be here without you, Baby Beebs. gvTHE GADFLY, S E PTEM B ER 2009 ~ �P E 0 THE GADFLY {INTERVIEW} 60 College Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 Ur.ited States of America Editor-ifrChief Her Virtues An excerpt from coversations with Eva Brann Kirstie Dodd Junior Edi!or ]. Keena.ii Trotter Business Manager MICHAEL LACY Elizabeth Spagnoletti Design Editor P L E Marin Skokandic Graphic Artist Noah Litvin ContTibutors Jerome Dausman Gregory House Michael Lacy Ar1drew Mize Morgan Stephenson Josiah Stevens F ounded in 1980, The Gadfly is the srudent weekly distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the sole responsibility of the author(s). T'ne Gadfly reserves the right to accept reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to pubiish the most professional, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. N ow that we've an figured out the efficient cause of why we're involved in Libera! education (through either journal reading, psycho analysis, or recoilection), Let's briefl.y take a stab at the final cause, i.e. the good, this education is meant to actualize. I wondered: is morality the goal of Liberal education? So I asked Eva Brann: to be humanly honest. ML: Mr. Wiesel's lecture brought up the interesting and frustrating point about the German inteU..ectuals in th.e 1940's. EB: This is one of the most pertinent questions. Why it is that the intellectuals, not only in Germany, but in France, [participated in] The Terror. The people that never make a mistake on a Greek accent, and not to be educated. ML: It seems 'being educated' denotes a truly good person. EB: Good in a hypothesis, which is the Socratic hypotb.esis and it appeals to me: that virtue · and knowledge are closely connected. So then, what's better ti.1-ian thought- engaged in The Terror were very well educated. The intellectuals that followed Hitler, the intellectuals of the Soviet state, were some of the brightest intellects in Europe. How does that happen? One way to look at it is being 'intellectual' is not the same as being 'educated.' And being a professor isn't the same thing either. They have degrees, they write books and such, but the operations of the intellectual world aren't quite the same as real education. They can have all the trappings and none of the substance-it's possible. It's possible that they can find the right quotation, to be able to tell what case every preposition takes, fulness? To sift things, and use what you've learned to help you, something in you should recoil at cruel, ordinary human meanness or corruption. It seems we ought to be that way. It isn't always that way. But, as I said, one explanation is that happens because one isn't really engaged in thoughtfulness. We all know that people who learn stuff know a lot. It doesn't amount to much. It seems to me to be a very open question. I'd be willing to say that the college has no right and no means to make people moral. But it has the right and means to enforce intellectual virtue and decent behavior. 1 Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circumstances. The Gadfly meets ever1 Friday at 7 PM in the lower level of the Barr-Buchanan Center. All articles are due at 11:59 PM every Friday. Errors printed herein are, mostly, unintentional. Usually, typos, misspellings, and general falsehoods are the product of the human oversight, as opposed to malice, EB: I think that Aristotle's distinction berween moral and intellectual virtues is very important. I think we're both entitled and required to assume in our students an improvement in the intellectual virtues. In industry, in intellectual honesty, in brightness ... [are] all the things that go with being intellectually alert and straight. But the moral virtues we have no way of teaching. The interesting question is whether one can possess the intellectual virtues but not the moral virtues? I don't know. I would like to think they go together. That is to say a person who is intellectually honest is going GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2009 �FEATURES {DODD ON THE QUAD} The Meat of the Problem Veganism, Organic Living, and the American Way KIRSTIE DODD A fter seeing Food, Inc. this summer, I have become increasingly more paranoid about the meat I eat. Food, Inc., like many other post-millennium muckraking feature-film documentaries, plays out the cliche struggle between you-the duped, hardworking consumer snacking on popcorn in your comfortable movie seat-and the evil, money-grubbing corporations that control our whole society. The movie centers around the meatpacking industry and the fallout from mass production and greed: increased E. Coli epidemics from com-fed cattle, powerful, unregulated meat monopolies that evade government inspection, farmers who pay obeisance like feudal serfs to companies with genetically-modified seed patents, and government subsidies that make a bag of chips cheaper than a bag of carrots. Though the images of top-heavy hormone-pumped chickens are disturbing, I cannot help but think this movie is another product that has been packaged up and produced for me like a box of preservative-y Pop Tarts. They give me just enough information to hate every product in my pantry and the people who developed those products. The makers oi Food, Inc. want me to become more informed about the food I put into my body, but the result breeds more unnecessary anxiety. When I walked out the theater, I felt like Upton Sinclair had maliciously egged the door of my daily diet. 1 was torn between a fervent desire to run out and find a farmer's market and a terrible recalcitrance that urged me to find the nearest Hardee's. The movie presented solutions to the meat problem in America, but they were not that appealing. I can boil them down to two things: 1) Eat these organic products we plug continuously throughout the film and 2) Remember this phrase Schoolhouse Rock taught you in fourth grade-"Knowiedge is Power!" I learned that the whole "organic movement," especially its commercial mutation within the last five years, is largely another fear-based packaging gimmick by major corporations. That's right: the organic products in the grocery store are actually owned by those evil, big-eyed-baby-cow-slaughtering companies vilified in the documentary. Half of all organic food is for little kidsgeared towards soccer moms who want to give their toe-headed cherubim 100% natural products (oecause 97% natural, 3% unnatural just does not sound as good)-and most of it is still encased in plastic, land-filling containers. What saddens me the most, however, is that organic eating has become yet another indicatior of the social gap in American demographics between the poor and the rich. Vegetarianism, veganism, and organic living are hobbies for Americans who have the luxury and free time to educate themselves about Going Green-while the poor only have time to think about Getting enough Green to pay for the cheapest dinner possible (re: fast food dollar menu). If you stop to think about it, for the past thousands of years most peasants ate organic, locallygrown, in-season vegan food unknowingly. Meat was a luxury and single-family farms were the norm. The Romans had Ceres, the goddess of grain, in their pantheon-not some meat god-because grain was the basis of their diet. The rich ate meat and got the gout, the poor ate starches and died from malnutrition, and over time we v,Testled with our food demons until we found the FDA food pyramid that would solve all of our problems. Almost. Maybe the American relationship with food will never be quite right. Maybe the endorsement of organic eating and veganism will bring more bad than good. I tried to be a vegan for exactly one day. Here is what happened: 8:07 am-I wake up. Today is my first day of veganism! I'm so excited. l don't really want to part with my cow hide vest, fur skirt, or silk panties, so I hide them in a drawer instead. 8: 10 am-I take a shower but curse when I figure out the soap I'm using was tested on animals. 8:23 am-I walk back to my room imagining that my flesh is encased with animal fat. 8:24 am-Back in my room, I throw on a cotton dress. I wonder if it was grown in a field soaked with animal-killing pesticides and chemicals, transported in a truck by a trucker that ate four Hardee's Thickburgers along the way, sown on a machine with an animal-based lubricant, prewashed for softness with some sort of animal-based tallow, and put into a bag that was sealed with animal based glue. l promptly forget these thoughts. 8:30 am-At the dining hall, I pine after the sausage biscuits. I'm hungry and the moldy bread threatens my satiation. I want milk really bad. The soy miik tastes like creamy wood; I drink a tablespoon, and I want w barf. The pincdpple appears fresh and supple. I eat some, like it, and t..1-ien I can't stop eating it. 8:46 am-I leave the dining hall feeling queasy. 10:4 2 am-I clutch my stomach in long lab. The pineapple is digesting with a vengeance, and I can feel the acid surge and burble down below. 10:44 am-I feel better in t!:ie bath· room. 11:47 am-Lunchtime. I run to the dining hall and assemble a salad for the ages, my stomach finally feeling better. Everything that appears plant-based gets tossed on the salad . ., THE GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2009 �"4 11:56 am- Someone tells me my salad is "looking good" and I am on cloud nine. I have every color represented, including orange. The orange turns out to be cheddar cheese that got tossed on the top in a veggie-piling frenzy at the salad bar. Cheddar cheese is not vegan. I make a new salad. 12:37 pm- I leave the dining hall. 12:49 pm- Exactly twelve minutes to the second I am hungry again. I go to the coffee shop and buy two packs of delicious, nutritious Oreos because they are vegan! 3:04 pm- I feel dangerously low in cal- mal slaughter every day. Second, what cium, iodine, vitamin B12, and vitamin you eat is your decision. If you don't D. want to know where your food comes 3:56 pm- Outside of class I am of- from and you're fine with the way you fered a sliver of beef jerky. I cave in, and eat now, that's your decision to make. my time as a vegan amounts to exactly Third, abstaining from meat, no matter seven hours and forty nine minutes. how tres chic bourgeoisie, is something really difficult to do in our meat lover's Y life as a vegan was pathetically pizza society, and deserves respect, mine short, but I did learn a few things most of all. So I raise my glass to you, from the process. First, what Adam vegan/vegetarian/organic person for Smith says about all that economic in- doing what you're doing. Try not to saliterconnectedness is really true; all of us vate over the Meat Club's roasted pig at come in contact with some sort of ani- Oktoberfest. ~ M {FOUND OBJECTS} Letters Home D earI Mother, sorry to was deeply hear about your unfortunate encounter with the jumping spider in the upstairs bathroom. And you're right- the name "bathroom" does imply something of a relaxed atmosphere, and "restroom" even more so. The last thing one would expect in a serene situation is an acrobatic arachnid nimbly leaping to eyelevel in a desperate bid for attention. I guess some creatures just feel they have a lot to prove. Case in point- my last letter to you was "mistakenly" published in the Gadfly as the result of what Kristie Dodd is now calling an "editorial misunderstanding." See, I submitted a letter in response to Brendan McGiveney' s article about how he looks like disheveled celebrities, stating that his features leant themselves much more readily to a comparison with a young Colonel Sanders. This letter was never printed, and in its place was an extremely personal correspondence between son and mother. How the Gadfly obtained this letter I still do not know. Kristie informs me that I must not have cleared the form when I sent my letter to you later that day, thus forwarding it to her as well. When I pointed out the implausibility of such an occurrence, citing my well known, unflagging vigilance and almost militant attention to detail, she fell back on a catalog of clearly rehearsed responses like "I don't know what you're talking about." How convenient. Following all of this unpleasantness, I figured it was best to let the whole thing fall by the wayside. After all, if previous years are any indication, the Gadfly only has a month or so left before it boogies back into obscurity anyway. However, a few days later I decided to press the issue a bit further when I ran into Assistant Principal Kronsberg at her office in the back of Rite-Aid. She assured me that the ordeal was most likely due to a glitch in the computer system causing all my outgoing mail to be forwarded to the Gadfly. She promised me that the error would be corrected and that I may now write to you with total confidence as to the privacy of the content. With this assurance, I don't mind telling you that the entire St. John's campus has gone to pot. Case in point- the dining hall is hoarding trays, lectures are overcrowded, and students are being encouraged to actually miss class if they are sick. I've traced this decline back to when Reality re-entered the scene. A ' V - - THE GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2 009 few weeks ago there was the introductory Seducers and Corrupters party where upperclassmen dress in black and do horrible, party-titled things to white-clad freshmen. The requisite dancing in McDowell was in fullswing when I decided to head upstairs to get a bird's eye view from the balcony. Looking down, I observed a gyrating mass of faux intellectuals stretched before me like a freakish swatch of Dalmatian skin, all horny and pulsing. Given my persisting fear of firedogs, the scene was all too much for me, so I made my way outside to breathe in the fresh cigarette air. Things have not improved much since then. Reality continues to trot out slight variations on their time-tested party theme of debauchery, including such hits as dinosaur debauchery. None of this is to say that there hasn't been good news as well. On the plus size side, John Blechl, our campus sage, has begun a series of articles rivaling the sentimentality of Family Circus. I don't want to speak too soon, but if I play my cards right, I think I've found my essay advisor. Talk to you soon, mom! Hope the cats are well. Love, Gabe - Gabriel Luzier D.C. Minutes Meeting called to order at 11:51 am on Septem- ber 23, 2009 Discussion with the Srudent Committee on Instruction (SCI) candidates at 11:52 Discussion with the Board of Visitors and Governors (BYG) candidates at 12:00 All candidates dismissed at 12: 13 Delegates vote for SCI representatives at 12: 15 -Junior Winners: Michelewicz and O 'Brien -Senior Winners: Greenstein and Swanson -Sophomore Winners: Feder and Havard Delegates vote for BVG representatives at 12:21 -Winners: Rundle and Pasley Discussion of Shammai budget at 12:29, archons present -Move to enter $351.60 into preliminary budgeting by Ms. VanHoose -Seconded by Ms. White -Motion passes at 12:32 Discussion of Senior Prank budget at 12:33, Ms. Helck present -Move to enter $2250.00 into preliminary budgeting by Mr. Mohr -Seconded by Mr. Maher - Motion passes at 12:35 Discussion of Croquet budget at 12:36, Mr. Coates present -Move to enter $1928.31 into preliminary budgeting by Mr. Mohr -Seconded by Ms. VanHoose -Motion passes at 12:40 Meeting adjourned at 12:40 • 1 �FROM PAGE ONE be sought after as they will only keep growing and strengthening into "deeper, more delicious pleasures." Moved and intrigued by this glimpse into Mr. Januszewski's philosophies and ideals, I went to find out more. It all started with a book, of course. Mortimer Adler's How to Read a Book presented new ways to think and methods of inquiry and suggested these methods could be further explored at St. John's. So straight to St. John's Graduate Institute Januszewski came, arriving in 1990. He admits when he first came up from Boston, he thought it would be for a short, intensive 4-semester stay. But during his time at St. John's, he fell in love with the town and the general area, and Annapolis has become his 13-year home base. St. John's strengthened his previous desire to work with substance abuse, so after graduating he started working at George Washington University as the prevention and substance abuse coordinator. "But naturally," he explains, "I got started doing some counseling on the side, which was much more rewarding." He quickly acquired his own license and opened a private practice, where he felt he could more directly help people. Three years ago, he took a break from his work and set out on a sabbatical to India. Here, he says, he got a "much needed retreat." He also visited many substance abuse clinics there, and it was there that the idea of returning to St. John's occurred to him. He first talked to Mrs. Kronsberg and Mrs. Waters in 2008, upon his return from India, and he started working in 2009. So far, he is finding it "wonderful to work here- this is a very sane place compared to the work of a clinic." Hopefully this feeling will continue. Mr. Januszewski believes it will. While he enjoys his work wherever he practices it, he says, it is especially fitting here. Because for him, "It's all about freedom." Not only is there the issue of being trapped and controlled by addictions, but Januszewski believes that using substances is like building a new layer bet'Neen ourselves and our core. The way we feel or act when we are on drugs or substances, while often new and uninhibited, is not naturally occurring but rather aided by chemical. Therefore, it's not a free, true action that originates entirely and solely from ourselves. And for Januszewski, the idea of freeing oneself from this substance dependency is particularly pertinent at St. John's: "We're all after freedom here, that's the mission of the college. And it seems to me that freedom from substance is thoroughly consistent with that mission, and substance abuse, would in fact be a hindrance it." He says this mission goes beyond feasting on the books; "Emotional freedom and confidence doesn't always go with intellectual. It requires resistance to build that strength, just as with physical strength." It's really hard work to be comfortable and confident with yourself though, he notes, and you can't it if you are afraid of being honest with yourself. To clear away some of this fear through interactions with the student body is one of Mr. Januszewski's main goals here. He believes it's hard worth it. Because "the journey and work of real self discovery is so rewarding. And to get the gold, soraetimes you have to invest." It all comes back to the hedonistic nature of humans, and whether we choose to fulfill that nature (temporarily) with short term pleasures, such as alcoholism, or take the harder pursuit oi deeper pleasure. "It's the conflict at St. John's but it's also the conflict of the whole world; it's called the human condition." It's a complicated issue, and Januszewski wants to stress the point that he understands how hard it can be to pursue a dif ferent course, and he's not here to force people change or judge. "We're all struggling in it, I fight the battle too," he promises. But for all who are interested or struggling, he hopes to help them on their path to a new kind of freedom and enjoyment. Because not doing so, he smiles, "is like accepting the baloney sandwich when you could have the steak." So go get your steak. ~ THE GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 200 �{POEM} The Dangers of Self-Medication I'm not allowed to talk back to the voices in my head; they won't permit the slightest criticism. I've tried to reason with them ... but to anger it has lead. They even scorn each clever witticism. I listen uncontentedly to their relentless rants, like fingernails drawn boldly 'cross a school slate. Oh words, you tumble on inflicted with St. Vitus Dance, and in my mind impossibly sad schemes you would advance if only I would drop my guard and give you guys a chance. But soon collapse must follow if I placate ... and then my mind would surely start to gyrate. But other times you tell such wondrous tales that I believe that fairies and hobgoblins must exist here. And magical bold creatures made of stuff you can't conceive come swimming in my tankard full of stale beer. So comfort me Effexor and Wellbutrin. You keep me from the rocky shore but bar my setting sails. Do you suppose some blues and reds will author different tales? Or will they simply amplify amy own sins? Harsh anecdotes with wholly morbid doctrines? Or polyamorous soap operas with elfish details. I'll go on wond'ring: I'm afraid to give in. The constant in my life, my anchor, you've already read: I'm not allowed to talk back to the voices in my head. -Jerome Dausman {TRANSLATION} Story of the Eye Excerpt from Georges Bataille's Histoire de l' ceil Ainsi commencerent entre nous des relations d' amour si etroites et si necessaires que nous restons rarement une semaine sans nous voir. Nous n'en avons pour ainsi dire jamais parle. ]e comprends qu'elLe eprouve en ma presence des sentiments voisins des miens, difficiLes a decrire. ]e me rappelLe un jour oil nous aLLions vite en voiture. ]e renversai une jeune et johe cychste, dont le cou fut presque arrache par Les roues. Nous l'avons Longtemps regardee morte. I:horreur et le desespoir qui se degageaient de ces chairs ecceurantes en partie, en partie delicates, rappellent le sentiment que nous avons en principe a nous voir. Thus began between us a love affair so intimate and so necessary that we rarely lasted a week without seeing each other. That's not to say we ever talked about it. I understood that she experienced in my presence feelings close to mine, difficult to describe. I remember one day when we were driving fast. I knocked over a young and pretty cyclist, whose head was almost completely torn off by the wheels. For a long time we looked at her dead body. The horror and the despair that emerged from this flesh repulsive in part, in part tender, was reminiscent of the feeling that we usually had on seeing each other. -Gregory House '~THE GADFLY, SEPTEMBER 2009 figures straight from the lion's mouth: l At the end of last fiscal l year, which for St. John's runs j from July 1st to June 31st, ! our endowment had fallen l 12.9% to $109 million. Coni sider Stanford lost 30% of its i endowment and Purdue 28% l of theirs. According to Miss j Jones this is because we have ! "an astute investment coml mittee," led by Steve Bohlin ! (SF '82). It has entrusted the [ largest portion of our endow! ment to TIFF-The lnvestl ment Fund for Foundations. j Apparently this was a strong i move. However, the 12.9% dip translated to a $479,000 ! loss in our annual draw from [ the endowment earnings afi ter the smoothing formula l was applied. i This lack of funds from l the endowment draw is small [ potatoes in comparison to i what we lost in tuition, which j comprises about 2/3 of our i annual budget. The college i collected $19.6 million in tui ition for this year, down from [ $20.3 mil from last year. It's i about a $762,000 drop, to be i more exact. Bronte anticipatl ed that drop as early as last i February, when we noticed i that we were getting fewer j applications. Fewer applicai tions led to fewer acceptances [ and finally fewer deposits. i Financial aid was hit pari ticularly hard. Returning i students and this year's fresh[ man came into this year with i about $1 million more in i need than last year's student j body. Emergency measures i were taken in order to meet i this need in the form of a rel vision to the College's policy i regarding "unrestricted gifts." i ' An unrestricted gift usually comes in the form of an estate gift-that's money that someone wills to the college. The usual policy dictates that: "When a donor does not designate the purpose of his/ her gift, the following general rules apply as to the college's designation: the first $50,000 shall go to the Annual Fund. The second $50,000 shall go to current scholarships. The funds over $100,000 shall go to the endowment." The addition that was added for this year reads: "Under extraordinary circumstances, as identified by the Management Committee, funds over the initial $100,000 may be available for other purposes as long as the designation does not violate the expressed intent of the donor." What this little addendum enabled the college to do is take a $1. 7 million dollar gift we received and infuse $1.2 million into our financial aid program in the form of scholarships, etc. Will we be so lucky next year? Only time will tell. With that, the budget for this year is not strained to the point that we should panic. Last year Ms. Jones budgeted $32.9 million for the year and we spent $31.9 million. This year she was able to budget $3 2. 7 million. "We have exercised most measures we are going to take for [balancing the budget] this year. But we really do have some challenges ahead, and I don't want to sugarcoat that. We are just beginning this process for next year." o/ {ATHLETES OF THE WEEK} Mr. Rundle& Misses Michelewicz and Gibson Congratulations. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 5 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-09 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Issue 5 of The Gadfly. Published September 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.5 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/7fa8abfbc0dc7c5d3b822b4da83a5901.pdf d6e796251556fcf3a162048b0c836e4c PDF Text Text Conversations \Vith Ba:r:r Mandatory P.E. Now! THE STUDENT WEEKLY OF ST. The Outside Looks Kirstie Dodd' s Freshman Essay COLLEGE • ANNAPOLIS, \1ARYLAND • VOLUME XXXI, lSSUE SIX �T A L K THE GADFLY GO Cdlcge Avenue Annap1.'lis, Marvland 21401 United States of America .lm•im- &Htvr Ehzabetl1 Sµagnol~.ti Pe-sign Editor l Busin.:ss Manager Graphfr: Artist .Ad1J<.:-rti:iing f)ir<:i.1:or Cnntributon Keenan Trotter Marin SkQkandic Noah Litvin Conversations with Barr Phillip Army Jerome Dausman Elizabetl 1 Flotlning Chloe Ginsbll-rg Michadlacy Gabriel L~zier J.P. Snyder F ounded in 1980, The Gadfly is the student weekly dioicributed to over 600 students, faculty. and staff of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are th<:> sole responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly resen-es the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most professional, informative. and thought-pro· Yoking newspaper which circum· stances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 w0rds or less haw a better chance of being published than those l0ng-er. Letters submit· kd will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circumstances. The Gadfly meets every Friday at 7 PM in the lower level of the Barr-Buchanan Center. All articles are due at 11 :59 PM eYery Friday. Errors printed herein are, mostly. unintentional. Usually, typos, misspellings, and general falsehoods are rhe product of the human oversight, as opposed to malice. O ne of the riveting exposes of this Gadf1y volume was on the old SJC seal, adorned with seven books representing the seven liberal arts. I can't name them all, and much less could l give an account of why one sh~~ld study them. I won't be greedy with my newly acquired knowledge; the Medieval Scholastics, the most important product of rhe Carolinian Renaissance, split them into two groups. First, the Trivium: Grammar, Rhetoric, and Logic. Second, the Quadrivium: Arithmetic, Geometry, Astronomy, and Music. The Trivium was thought to be so much less difficult than the Quadrivium that it was called Trivial. Now these are the kinds of facts you'd expect to learn when studying about the liberal arts. But what is it to truly study the liberal arts? If St. John's is a liberal arts school, how is it that we don't know what the liberal arts are? Why are there seven books on the seal and not 3,269 (my estimate of how many books Mr. Sterling has read)? It seems there is a subtle statement being made that the program can be boiled down to these seven disciplines. "Well why the hell should I study these seven things?" I wondered, pacing my room, while my Eugene Lang application printed noisily in the background. So, I stopped by the library and asked Stringfellow Barr. The Gadfl:y, 10Years Ago In the October 5, 1999 edition of The Gadfly (Volume XX.I, Issue 6): A student group named People for the Ethical Treatment of Trees (PETT) recommended euthanizing the Liberty Tree. ("PULL THE PLUG PEOPLE!") Peter Hughes '02 warned, "Y2K is a big {ricking deal." Roberta Gable's byline appeared. Jonathan Lawless '00 presented an alternate proof explaining "why the image of the straight line in a Hjelmslev transformation is a straight line." With pictures. The newspaper's staff took a stab at covering world news. ("Giuliani Cuts Fund· ing to New York Art Museum; "How hot is the Earth's core?"; Doomsday Cult Promises to Tone Down"). Taylor Waters invited students to purchase tickets for a nearby production of King Lear. more on page 4 ~ He answered me from 1940 in the pages of The General Magazine and Historical Chronide. In response to my reproach of the St. John's method of education, he said: "First you must realize the purpose of liberal education is to free the human intellect, to render usable the intellectual powers which in varying degrees all men posses who are not idiots or cretins or asleep or too drunk to think." I granted him, "Yes, that might happen, but if I'm just getting better at what everyone can do, why don't I get better a.t something that's actually useful?" "TI1en," Barr snapped, his antiquated hickory smoked Chicago via Virginia accent, "you realize that these powers can perform certain operations, and the performance of these operations form intellectual habits. TI1e man who posses these habits has a more usable mind than other people." "Right," I said, recognizing the classic St. John's elitism. "\X!ell why don't more places teach the liberal arts so rigorously? You're obviously a. relic, though an interesting one. But times have changed, and no one wants people like this anymore. Scholasticism is dead, \X!inkie." Barr smiled and adjusted himself in his seat, realizing I wasn't a sucker after all. "Until recent decades, our Liberal Arts Colleges provided severe discipline so their students could acquire the fullest possible use of their intellect. We will say the result of such discipline is alumni with trained minds, the sort of trained minds businessmen long to get a hold of: active, alert, exploratory, ingenious, imaginative, rigorous, balanced." \Virh that, Barr had me pretty well convinced, and I probably would have left his company, drunk from Kool-Aid. But that teeming, probing mind of his pulled me a little further into the trouble of my education, and confused me once more. He continued, "But 'trained minds' sug- I THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 i �T A L K gest 'mental training'. At this point, my dear " as he is wont to call advocates of con- A Case Mandatory thought of that. which mv AP h~d detailC'd in a single paragraph, meant somethiiig about the impossibility of gaining knowl1 didn't understand it, knowing I never heart flared up against He was this perverse to nrnv mi-convince rn.e he was would rne4 Barr put his hand shoulder. "Instead of '"·'"""·a''"' with ,. he referring to about my "read v.,.'orks of son1e first#class men, who over centuries gave an a~count of hm"' the hu;nan be led to E. mv, as of you have at one time been freshmen had to sit through Mr. Pickens~s Athletes of the most of you are illiterate. hmv don't know this 11Uln' Fresh-- bers for intramurals the board. A recent son actually showed a more likely to read sports then participate. This means that you are off reading in your room with some trivial circulated gro\ving size of more of us will ucu·i.u;-,c you and now are trying to get that blazer before you graduate. It would give me more to \>:rite about. I am not advocating everyone participate in TI1at \Vould just cut into my time on the field. But everyone needs to be active in some 'Nay, \Vb.ether it be men Orientation heard it three times did it. room for phies? I Charles Lin1burg yoga. Except maybe sailing; I'm not convinced that counts. 111ere is an epi, demic of hining our nation and our carnpus, it won't be solved veganism or being forced to eat at the Dining Hall. Changing your diet isn't as necessarily drastic if you got up and sorn.ething. A mandatory program be difficult to and great habits you \Ve have all come here in a and to a kid. Then a f;w vears ago, I out he was ~ sex acldict with secret families around the world." Barr "On the is to follow the operations of other intellects. And to best ll1is means '''""'o--u"'"'·c from many centuries, books in many languages. Books are a1~1on.e the n1ost produ-~ts of the hun1an intellect." I sat back in my chair, Stringfellow Barr sat and seventy avvav from other, we con~idered what he said. in a seminar where everyone was \Vearing a St.John's Blazer? A mandatory athletics gram encourage interaction and make the commore of a I tried to stress this in n1y fi.rst article but "uua.H::u,,v are right. Exercise is becaus~ the soul is acof your requires strenuous activity to grmv, well, and be happy. Therefore, your soul is in need of exercise. THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 �c T Weird, Pretentious, Druggie, Racist L ast Joshua Cohen the nev> Democratic candidate for mayor of Annapolis. He replaced Zina Pierre, who was forced to drop out of the election due to concerns about her residential she otherwise. The hen Vlas ('kicked out Santa for not applying hirnself. later went on ro from the Univerl-1e is still considered an since he was enrolled for a le;1st one semester.) This comment set off a good deal of invective on The a chunk of it directed ar St. Here is a which may have been edited for grammar and clarity. J} who doesn't think St. is a Hard school should go seek out a Tudor and ask him or her for the "Great Books List." I was in the coffee located in McDowell Hall one day and to corne upor1 s01neone ' s copy and couldn't even read the tides. I can't imagine the books. For anyone who isn't familiar with this tains the student's year more, and explains the are to read for that year. -Steve Md. some it is a But there arc plenty of trust-fund hippies no matter how hard there, and it is it tries to convince itself others) otherwise. One of its monos is "we make men free means of books and a balance" but I guarantee you 90% of the school and tutors voted liberal and for Barack the of an 2009 Gadfl:y, 10 Years ".. .1 guarantee you 90% of the school and tutors "Tudors") voted liberal and for Barack sign of 1r1e D.J Clu.h requested $709.47 from the Delegate Council. (It was to be deliberated.) dis- Eddie's Bastard on \Xlest Poi~1_r could be son1e of the fvf.E.fvL Iv1a.guire 'Q2 pr.;tcst::.d a prior issue's photo of an orange, to ivhich t:he editor at the time, Robert Gambill, to n:Bd a beck or books so that you can in the discussions. It is far more dethan a typical universtudents are sity class. St. all above average in and rnust possess a keen interest in civih:ation. You do o± because each :mident must ac- A photo of novelist iVilliwn Kowalski '94 signing novel the quad. and a lot few that could be considered "an ideologically 'free' environrnent. " I would stFpcct tnos.t at lean a litde further left than most others. -Fred llnknotvn Location cussions, and if you are not pre.it is obvious to everyone at the table. That have knmvn many young \-vho have flunked out of their first semester or first year at and have come back home to finish up their degree and done fc~vorcibly. (Don't )Vid OCTOBEF'~ Md. did not respond I hear St is an easy school to ate from, not like MIT or Caltech a lot of THE CADFLY, "free" environrnent. yo<-.l have some Greek hmneivork to do?') Email addresses ·were different: o.t" the -:-irne. The Secretary of the Polity, A!Jike Goodrum '00, could he reached at m-,ooc>dn'.imcros;ica. eau. There appears w hmi'e been more t-utor-withstuden.t dancing going on in 1999. the layout ortist substituted a soccer ball for t:he 0" in SPORTSWIRE, v;,1hich was apparently a kind of athletics 11 column. Tt was Homecoming. Here's the consider themselves the rest of the liberal academies, because consider themselves SUPER-R.ATIONAL, and sneer at the lJS 'J'Je1vs & \v'o-rld and with many other signs indicate their contempt of other haw this Great Con'\'ersation that 2s on at in which all sorts of ~ 0""'""·n ideas are advanced and dialectical escruminata tested the tender foreheads of these young interlocutors! Haha'.! Bur it is all a deceptive ILLUSION a concept because at least as far as and social theory goes there really is Ha HA!! -Nei.U 1X!eircl, pretentious, racist, rapist, elitist. This is \ivhat I hear about this College~ I am glad lvir. Cohen has found something better to do. ft er that last comwnt, sent a nice letter to The for some muchneeded clarification: In response to an mticle about Joshua Cohen~s no1ninatiun an ancn)rrtous cornrn.ent.er on The 1 as preten· eiitist." I ivou:l.d like to add th..._rit iue ose also cannibals. Md. Keenan Trotter St. John~ s is a school and ycu have to be both bright Sr. John's �T H E M A l L Mistakes, Mistakes, and Other Colleges in an effort be Recently,worthy of thetotitle more "newspaper," The Gadfly has tried to incorporate pieces of "harder" journalism to add gravitas. Some of you may remember the piece "The Week in Review" in last week's Gadfly (Volume XXXI, Issue 5). This was an editorial-reporting hybrid about ironic happenings on and around tl1e Annapolis campus in the style of the "Findings" of Harper's Magazine. Though the tone of the piece was meant to be humorous, the article made a serious insinuation that Warren Spector '81, a supporter of the college and member of the Board of Visitors and Governors, was not fit to help the St. John's with financial decisions. The piece took select clippings from New York Magazine and let tl1e reader draw conclusions about Mr. Spector' s abilities. The article was not approved by College officials. The Gadfly is our eponymous mission statement; we, like Socrates, firmly believe in the thought-provoking nan.ire of controversy and the necessity of Truth. But this is insofar as it provokes thought, and it does so in a fair, open-minded, and appropriate manner. The information about Mr. Spector did not consider the whole of the situation and painted him in a grisly light. We apologize for this. We at The Gadfly are committed to good journalistic practices, and in the future we promise to bring you, the reader, the full perspective on an issue. -KIRSTIE Dooo, FOR THE GADFLY STAFF O ne thing I regret about the current St. John's way of life is that there is rarely anything ever just "going on" here on campus on the weekends. I never knew it could be different until one weekend I traveled to another college. I visited my girlfriend at Goucher College in Baltimore. \X!hile there, we were infonned on Saturday that there would be a student funk band hired by the school playing in the residential quad that night. So around 8:00, we found our way over to the open grass where many students were gatl1ering to sit, talk, laugh, but centrally, to listen to the upbeat but distant, relaxing funk music. People came and went; some got up and danced, some played with the hula hoops and bubbles set out for public play, some merely sat listening. The atmosphere was light-hearted, and everyone seemed to have shed many of their social inhibitions. As a guest in that student community, I enjoyed just watching the stars come up while unwinding and talking with friends. Overall, it was enlightening. TI1ere had been excitement for the event all day. When it happened, the people were out together as a community and not cooped up in their dorm rooms. There was little drinking, yet free-spirited laughter and joviality still abounded. It was a satisfying, fun evening. \X'hy can't St. John's have more planned, communal events like this? -ANDREW MIZE THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 �F E A T U R E S {DODD Wind~Eggs A revisitation of my essay KIRSTIE DODD sa1 on Criticisrn. Its with a linge~ing battle with an uncomfortably iong fashion \vith overalls, marked my life. I remember reading famous line, "True ease in writing comes from art. not chance/ As those moved easiest who learn\1 to (362-362). At the tried to forget the words; I was more concerned witl; the fact that the bass drummer from my marching band sponding to my feminine your bass drum is math you isked the ones most test...") than Pope's 'ner01c . teen, I became a freshman at a called St. College. About arv. I was informed that I had to write an A1~~rnal Essay on anything I wanted from the freshman year curriculum as long as it fulfilled the nebulous criterion of "interesting. Somehow everyone about this except for me. about it," tipperclassmen told me, even matters." Freshman Essay right. By the time I started, it seemed like every freshman was his/h.er ei,ghth tome on sorne non-Progr;m l sat dovm without any preparation in goggling at the bar at the top of a blank rnent. Once f it took five days to hammer the whole thing out, from first draft to final to scavenge for or when my roommate was trysting with her In retrospect, there were two problems my Freshnian Essay: and my matter. I \Vas a problem I used to think I was a very clever ·writer. I using the "soporific" correctly in a sentence=desk job at The Neu; York Times and Pulitzer prizes out the wazoo. 1 \Vould cast out that little gem in any school THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2co9 essay, and my teachers would swoon like St. TI1eresa. I or art that of, my firm 1 was the greatest v.Titer in the world a deft pen or the dick of a on a I easy-peasy little St. my paper with puns and (the exclamation was degree), 100 mile as a chain-smoker. I reread the last summer and I, a "seasoned" rising junior Johnnie, had no idea 1vhat 1,vas going on. TI1e >vax and the bird and the \Vind-eggs and all that junk confused me so much I sDent a ~elf i.n a closet witl{ and ten issues of Veronica. The title of the essay, was "Wind-Eggs, and Intellectual {MY FROSH ESSAY: \VO.Rl..D EXCLlJSJVE} I decided to be and I \vrote a first sentence that makes me "Midwife of wind-eggs: Socrates this to his resum<': TheaeteI thought a \Vas, I shall never the word "tapestry" three times alone in the first paragraph in an extended metaphor about weaving and followed this up with the paragraph composed questions to demonstrate mv abilities of cognition and serious inql;iry. In an effo;t to be matchey-matchey with all of the wind- fonts and italics other Word would do the trick. In I tried to 1Nrite my freshm.an essay like a article. As if that were bad one of the most for the topic. I n thought of writing a ten to fifteen page essay on Theaet-:tus seems like an of exclamation points used essay. Clearly I was excited In this paragraph, I compare in a telescoping "111eta" discussion about to TI1eaetetus-as if I were writing the essay. I ever trip into full, the �A R T S {POEM} {POEM} Strangers Love from Three Different Anglers Once a forlorn Plebe had wandered north of College Avenue. "\XThat is this?" the lone Plebe pondered, "College halls come into view!" He not knowing of the College or it's ancient history, passing Johnnie he acknowledged: "Will you please enlighten me?" "How come you don't wear uniforms? \Xlhere is your martial spirit? Why do you have more than one dorm? Please answer, and declare it!" "Our unifonns are T-shirts here and ratty dungarees old; For students are much freer here ... or so at least we've been told!" "We fear our martial spirit lives too strong in Spartan Mad Ball. But we enjoy the thrills it gives engaging in that mad brawl." ''.fmd we allow the students here to lodge in dorms quite varied. Or live off campus far or near if traveling' s not harried." "But \ve've mucl1 more than you have viewed. I'll show you to the Chasement." And Johnnie gave him beer fresh brewed, which led to his debasement. So Plebe's beware of St. John's fare, its siren songs are tempting. And pleasures there beyond compare will Bancroft Hall be emptying. -Jerome Dausman {TRANSLATJON PRACTICE} Agamemmnon's Reproach Excerpt from (ll. I 177-8) P-zEho-ro; OE µof f:om 6LOTQEcp€wv Ba.mlc~rov· a.tzt yaQ -rm EQt£ -rz cp0,11 n6/,zµo( tE µaxm tf· d µ6./,a XUQ'tEQO£ EOOl, 8z6; n:ou OOl t6 y' EOOJXEV -a. £x8Q6;, -6v hated: -LOTO£ superlative (i.e. most hated); µo( dat. pronoun (£yw) lime; OLOtQccpfi;. -€£ Zeus-nurtured; Ba.mt.EU£, oking; alct=ad EQL£, ~strife; µ6.xri, ~fight; XUQtEQO£, -a, -6v (very) strong; oo( dat. pronoun (ou) you; t6 here "it" i.e. Achilles' strength; f-&wxi::v aor.3 .sg. (ofowµt) give The first person to emaiL the author with the corrc:ct ansq,ver wil! hatie his/her name published in the next issue. -Bmd!ey Van Uden {PUZZLE} Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh'. 11-iere are plenty of fish in the sea, But that phrase doesn't sit right with me! For if mates can be exchanged, Then love looks very strangeLike eyesight that blends all it sees! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! There are plenty of fish in the sea, Yet perhaps none of them are for me! For if they're all the same, And just called different names, Then I'd rather stay solitary'. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! l11ere are plenty of fish in the sea, Which should make things easier for me! For if love can be caught, Then love can be bought From those folks who do catching for fees'. ~ -Gabrid Luzier D.C. Minutes Meeting calkd to order at 11 :55 am Dis~.~ission of DC Theater Club charter request at l 1:57, archon present Discussion oi Meat Club charter request at 12:05, archons present Discussion of Gen11an Lon2$word charter request at 12:06, archon prese1~r Archons dismissed for vote at 12: 14 Motion to charter DC Theater Club by Ms. VanHoose; Seconded by Mr. Osborne; Motion passes at l11e hours rolled on, the gates were shut, the Plebe had passed out drinking. There was a rumbling in his gut. He threw up without thinking. When he awoke it was quite late: next day was nearly half-gone. And panic filled his short-cropped pate: he'd hoped to sneak back 'fore dawn. "Don't worry son, your life's not o'er. We'll sign you up for hist'ry, some ethics, science, and lots more: Greek grammar with its myst'ry." And now that Plebe a Johnnie is. He sings in Freshman Chorus, and whistles while about his biz: there's a fine moral for us. Three Johnnies Three Johnnies are having a conversa:tion. A senior always tells the truth, a junior always lies, and nobody knows what a sophomore will say. Person One says: "Person three always lies." Person Two says: "Person one always tells the truth." Person Tiuee says: "I can lie or tell the truth." \Xlho is who? The answer to last week's puzzle is that the man in front was wearing a black hat. The first person to email the author with the correct answer will have his/her name published in the next issue. -Elizabeth Fleming 12:21. 11vtion to charter German Long.::i·word bv Mr. Kunkle; Seconded; Motion passes at 12:23. Motion w charter Mtat Club by Mr. Kunkle: Seconded by Mr. Maher; Motion passes at 12:25. Diswssion c>f Orthodox Christian Fellowship budget at 12:25, archon present; Motion to enter S700.00 into preliminary budgeting by Mr. Maher; Seconded by Mr. Kunkle: Motion passes at 12:27. DL<:;cussion of Fencing budget ar 12:27, archon present; Motion to enter $1487.05 into preliminary budgeting bv Mr. Maher; Seconded bv Ms. Teclem· aria1;1; M:~ti~n passes at 12:31. ' . Discussion of Gaming Club budget at 12:32, archon present; }v1otion to enter $40.00 into preliminary budgeting by Mr. Maher; Seconded by Mr. Harrington; Motion passes at 12:34. Discussion of Aikedo Club budget at 12:35, archon present; Motion to table budget.upon further review by !vts. VanHoose; Stconded; Motion passes at 12:36. Discussion of Crossfit budget at 12:36; Motion to enter $400.00 into preliminary budgeting by Mr. Maher; Seconded by Mr. Osborne; Mc1tion passes at 12:40. Meeting adjourned at 12:40 pm. THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 �Cohen '94 entered A few ln Frisbee-~Fris·· bee~-~-The nal after poor finances records may have incli· . . , 1n eitt1er. Had she been elected, Pierre vrnuld have been the first African-American mayor of suggested Cohen \vas asked or expelled from, St. "It is correct that I was 'kicked out' for not applying " Cohen The printed that is that fact to them. I took in Santa Fe for semesters but my focus was not on the academics. During my don rag after the first se1r1ester ot year, and I agreed that I needed to time oft." So no blood after 4) in a profile about his 'J'·"H''"~· uesdav is noYv Gadfly comes out. at .:">UI sixth issue, \Vh.ich is six inore issues than The Epoch has blessed the Polity with this The Gadfly will be taking a break for weekend due to distracting sexual tension benveen all rnembers~ \YJe \\Tote in our last issue that \Varren Spector, as of publication, had not tried to us back. This is some·xhat true. On Tuesday, his emailed The T THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 Druids visited the exotic land ofT.11e Hustlers, determined the marketability of peat, and eA-ported it, 15-1.3. In Reason Ball, The Guardians. finally pulling out that bildungsrmnan they had been writing off and on since they v..rere fourteen, realized. the opportunity in scandalizing the Spartans. 1914. In Soccer, The Hustlers becarne the fifth BRIC economy (thus: BRICE) and drained L.~e Spartans of their market potential, whatever that may mean, 3-1. The Guardians waged a potentially dan1aglng civil war on the Spartans, 4-1. ln solidarity, the Druids prepared, baked, frosted. and ate 'I11e Guardians, 51. about the author of the article. \Ve emailed her back with the full contents of the O discuss the about n dog in a music unnamed tutor tore off a long strip from an issue of The GaJ: you so S~~~~~~~~ ~;~s 8:02 pm Mssrs Harrell and Yee' s senior seminar. The students of tb.eir exuberance a rendition of nale" on the the Great Hall. riday '''as a momentous event in the of The: The staff sat down with Ms. \Vaters, Ms. Paalman, Ms. Dem.psey, and Ms. Harty to after it was so nicely laid out'." a student exclaimed. The tutor smiled, laughed. "Really?" a student offered. Shammai, the dub on campuoc, bat dinner. F archon. Upon a bottle of wine, she clarified, "It's non-alcoholic." {ADVERTlSElviENT} � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 6 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-10 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Issue 6 of The Gadfly. Published October 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.6 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/0fcb6c560fc5f6c6dd7828ce41de5dea.pdf b9a641fa0a404e4e13f439e74117c59d PDF Text Text �T A L K THE GADFLY ;.,_-:::dlc:g:::A;,·,;:--,-tu,· An ,a1x1li~:, 214C'll t lnitcd St:Yl\::• Ar.,<:'Tica On History and The Program- Playful Words and Serious Glances (Part I of IV) f'.::~--=1· ,"~~-:J with each step we take, and a way of life. We and bodies Blcd·il Jc;L_r-;_ i\llll Mc;-.rril' Lc,ui.~ Pish3. ?rno ,i,-,~:K• in all seriousnt~ss; for as Plato phrasing like all senous n1en never F ounded in 1980, 11-1e CJadflv i;; the student weekly distributed to on~r 600 students, faculty, and staff of the 1\. nnapolis can1pus. Opinions expressed '":ithin are the solt responsibility of the author(~). Thi:' Gadfly rt."er,:es the right tc accept, reject., and edit ~ubrn.i::sions in any \Yay nece.ss::i.ry to publish the n1ost prcfrssional. inforrnative, and thought-pro\\Jking n~wspaper which circurnstance~ at St. john's pennit. Letters of 200 '.vord:: or less ha\'t' a better chance of being publisht>d than those longer. Letters subrnitted \vill be edited for ~ra1nn1aL punctuation, and spelling i11 n1{JSt cases. The Gadflv is not obligated t1) publish all subrnissions ex.. -:cpt under special cirnt1nstances. The Gadfly n1etts every I_:;riday at 7 Pfv1 in the lov,·er leYel of the Barr-Buchana11 Center. All articles arc due at 11:59 PM every Fridav. Errors printed herein art, n1ustly~ unintentional. 1-.Jsually: typos~ inisspdlings, and ~cueral fahehoocis art: the product of the hu1nan over::;ight . as opposed to lnalk:e, Ajax. Instead I see that the ''''-'"'c>:c, its is like the Socrates before him, dwelled. even dare to say that Aristotle agree with me bv his own definition - as the markings look rnuch the ·we are to him. Great \Ale h.ave our O\Vn resembles rhe famous after a supports. \Xie seldom remembering the are constantly looking into the essence of things, balancing the tvm general mean, THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 who chose to live us. group ourselves in smaller units but still come cvhen the occasion demands. \Ve have our mvn version of a V/e n1ake great efforts to pt:er 1nt0 rl1e \Vorld us, or at least tl1e one to us) and ask the san1e basic th.at all the great rnen before us. have True, \Vt sometimes sight of certain like to remind him his and who (Stoicism.) and Gardenand t1-1ese n1oral--ridden men, who feh they \Vere far too important than to concern them.selves reigned happily for half a millennium in their sensationalism and reclusive natures and are still like cockroaches. Some even make appearances in om blessed though thev are thrown at us without explanation and as to their scheme of the Plaof the Program. But and call us citizens of guided take up magnificent from ignorance in our mvn rights. And \Ve succeed, more or 111 our our own progression in education the identification fTon1 others) barbarian or "~ �CULTURE The Art of Boastful Rapping M y friend, Stephen Widlak, once said to me that a lot of rap music is the art of boasting. In that assertion, "art" is equal in value to "boasting." Tims, if the execution is artful, one can boast and be clever, witty, and even insightful. Does this mean that rap fans of all ages and dispositions enjoy listening to people boast, even when those people ain't sayin' nothin' profound? Kind of; it depends on the use of the term "profound." If used as slang, it refers to how powerful and artful a song is. And you better believe that by this usage, Run DMC's "Sucka MCs" is profound as hell. Hip Hop is a lot of things, and many of us also enjoy it when a rapper drops knowledge: he says something that educates and uplifts us. But right now, I'm talking about boasting. When a rapper spits an amazing verse, we hip-hop-heads often feel-really feel-that he "killed" or "murdered" the track. This means the rap on the track was a glorious massacre-like Achilles' breathtaking rampage through the Trojan armv. "\'(,'hen we say a rapper "murdered" a tr~ck, we mean that he or she laced the ''illest" rhymes with the "dopest" rhythm for the music. \Y/e use violent imagery to describe this because every track is a musical stage for a rapper to prove his superiority in his craft. Appropriately, an urban and spirited listener expresses his appreciation by saying that the rhymesmith destroyed something through potency of spirit, by mastery of craft. But we aren't implying the rapper committed an immoral or amoral act. Some rap does concern the un-virtuous. However, themes of unethical behavior aren't the roots of the music. To assume such is not an astute observation about the best of rap-even gangster rap. The rapper's flow does not mutilate the music. 'X·'hile we say that rappers "kill" tracks, they don't actually destTOy the track. We mean that their rapping complemented the music in a unique and rhythmically and musically fitting way. What they really destroy is the possibility of being mediocre, cliche, or inconspicuous. For real rappers true to the art form, music is not simply a stage for self. assertion, or even a background for their rhymes. For real MCs, the music is the wedded wife of their rapping, its partner and muse. To make this very clear, in the early days of hip-hop, from the mid-7Os to the earlv 80s, the Dl was the most important a1~d respected. figure in the music. The DJ came before the rappers even appeared on the stage, and when MCs started rapping, they did it primarily to bring their DJ's skills to attention. Many rappers won't write a rap for a song until thev hear the music thev'll be rapping to. 111~ music moves them .to rap something particular to complement it. I leave vou with an example of artful boasting, Just to give you a taste. Here are some dope lines from Rakim's "Microphone Fiend": "... Unawareness / Beware / It's the/ Re-animator/ A menace to a microphone /A lethal 'Weapon/ A assassinator /If the people ain't steppin' /See a part of me that 'IOU never seen/ \Then I'm fiendin' fora-microphone/ I'm the Microphone Fiend.,.". Earlier in the track, Rakim compares his addiction to music and rapping to a heroin addiction, emphasizing the severitv of his "habit." Then, above, he wan1s tl~ose unaware of his prowess on the mic that he V.7ill invigorate the ignorant by his ~ skill. He uses violent images in a stylish : way, calling himself a "menace to a micro- ~ phone" and a "lethal weapon." He does ~ this to exemplify his cleverness and the ~ seriousness of his role as a crowd-mover, ~ or MC. Calling himself an "assassinator" ;:: comes right after he savs he's the "rei animato;," but there's ~o contradiction ~ here. TI1e violent self-evaluations are so · powerful that, as poetic metaphors, they "' ~ animate the listener, exciting and im~ pressing him and moving him to "step" ; (i.e. ornove and dance). See \vhat I mean? '" 'J!l."" e THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 200 �MEMOIR J erry Januszewski Cheese & Power I is to feel inferior," and, "People want to was in a city in Southern lndia believe they deserve their good fortune . with nvo hours to kill before The receipt of a favor can become oppresmeeting up with some friends for sive." All this is based on the premise a concert. l wanted to sit in a coffee that the desire for power, not love or shop and read, but I'd forgotten to fairness, drives human interactions. He bring a book. I' cl already read the writes, "The feeling of having no power English language newspaper, so I over people and events is generally unturned to one of the street vendors bearable to us- when we feel helpless we sitting behind a book table . feel miserable." Hard to argue with that. He had the usual load: re-heated Since power relationships aim at creat~ self-help books, thirty-year-old business school texts, creepy yoga manuing desirable changes for ourselves, the als, and Hindi comic books. There author zeros in on a common flaw in was a pulpy Love Story by Erich Segal our beliefs about change: "The Reality: Change is slow and gradual. It requires (very popular in India). I settled for hard work, a bit of luck, a fair amount of The 48 Laws of Pmver by Robert Greene- an Indian edition of a US self-sacrifice, and a lot of patience. The best seller, touted on the back cover Fantasy: A sudden transformation \Vill as "a master class for Machiavelli." bring a total change in one's fortunes, bypassing work, luck, self-sacrifice, and Not my usual fare, but for 125 rupee time in one fantastic stroke." ($3.00), I figured I couldn't go too Indulging in this fantasy version of wrong. In fact, I was hoping for the experience I'd had many times how our lives improve makes us weak already in India: finding US enterand easier to exploit, he says, vulnerable to the pressures and manipulations, tainment imports that were so bad however unconsciously employed, of they were good. I enjoyed the weird incongruity of sampling India's taste those around us. It's easv to see this in for lowbrow American diversions people's drinking behavi~r, particularly while I was in a setting so unlike those using alcohol to feel more at ease America. I was growing accustomed in social situations. to feeling jarred in an amusing way, Becoming comfortable with our emosort of like watching a performance tions involves slow and gradual personal of Hamlet starring Pee Wee Herman. growth. This requires hard work and But with The 48 Laws of Power, patience as we learn to accept ourselves my need for cheese was denied in the present. Many can't stomach the task. A few drinks may accomplish this and gladly so. As advertised, it is artificially, but, according to the ideas of an amoral analysis of the nature of power and manipulation. It is also Robert Greene, that puts the person in a a serious, lucid, and unsentimental position of weakness, making them more exposition on human nature, full of of a puppet than a player, more subject to external forces . Machiavelli calls it forirony and fascinating insight. Not unlike, dare I say it, Machiavelli's The tune, an inferior position of reliance on Prince . external forces; "a prince wins ... either by The author Robert G reene unapol- fortune or by prO\vess [virtu, ].... the less a man has relied on fortune the stronger ogetically advocates subterfuge and he has made his position." It's worth~ seduction to acquire and maintain power in relationships (tactics used, considering that conducting your social he says, by many claiming to abhor life free of the fantastical prop of alcothem). His analysis is full of attenhol is virm ·, an expression of personal tion-grabbing gems about relationpower.~ ships such as, "To experience en\y THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 Pinkney Hall, as photographed in 1950. THE IVY LEAGUE - �T H E The following letter was submitted to The Gadfly after Mr. Merkel was asked to mubmit his piece, lost in mai!host, with the caveat that the publication could not ensure that his submission would be printed. O h, I completely understand; nor would I at all want to displace the contribution of any current student from the pages of this noted periodical. My only thought this whole along has been, "It may, conceivably, be something they would be interested in filling up a column or two of space with, perhaps, after all the regular contributors have succumbed to influenza, and the venerable Dausman's muse dries up; perhaps, then, in the depths of the Octobrous regions of the calendar, I at least, immune to ennui and essay assignments, might have a chance to interject my humble scribblings, and heroically to save The Gadfly from the unfortunate oblivion Lack Of Material; for this (I am sure none will contradict), would, manifestly, be a Thing Worth Doing." In fact, I can probably do that for you as often as you like, but I thought this would be a good start. Here is the essay again. If you do not like it, I can alter every other word (in alphabetical order) and present you with an amusing anecdote about French kittens. If your journalistic appetite is not whetted by French kittens, I might be compelled to ruminate about such earthlv matters as bookstores and bus- sched~les. Or it may be that your devoted and brilliant authors swallowed more than the usual half-tablespoonful of Vim over the summer, and are creating for you such largesse of literary victuals for the general delight of the reading classes at our esteemed College, that because of this you would (wit!~out any personal M A I L feelings, to be sure) have simply no need for anything I \Hite, no, not even were I to sail to the other side of the wine-dark sea, and write you coded reports special on t!1e back of a postage-stamp. To this I would be supremely and calmly resigned; it would affect me no more than would a game of backgammon. ''Timothy,'' I would say (for I address myself by my first name), "Timothy, The Gadfly has no need for you, but this is not a slight on you, nor is it a slighr on them; no, no, my friend, though you are the best of friends (and I speak, you understand, in all sincerity), you provide a modest inconvenience to their requisite load of eight pages every week. Your words would o'erburden them and and cause, no doubt, some great calam:ity resulting in the deaths of countless axolotls by an enraged editorial staff, a thing (manifestly) Not To Be Desired. Friends, most certainly, should not become an inconvenience to their friends, and thus, Timothy, the rejection of your articles you must brush off lightly, like you would a phantasmagorical elephant were he, in your dreams, to be launched from a volcano and traverse the inner leg of a gentle hyperbola and land upon your bosom and cast you into the depths of the ·wine-dark sea." That [... ] is my state of mind; it is difficult to conceive of a being more imperturbable and unflappable than I, although Anselm would assert that it can be done. All I ask (and I am conscious that your time is very valuable, and I only ask you to spare it when you can) is to let me know, when you can, within reason, what's up. Ever yours, -TlMOTHY MERKEL On 11mrsdav, the Don Rag schedule was posted in the coffee shop to the delight of some and the anxiety of others. 1l1e reason? Not so much about scheduling conflicts (seeing your time as Saturday, 9:30 am, the day after you turn twenty-one could produce some consternation) but about the revalation of middle names. 111e Rumplestiltskins of camus were groaning; the jig was up. but notwithstanding the strange and somewhat embarrassing names, a few surfaced to be worthy of the word "sweet." \Ve at The Gadfly salute youKING VAN BIBBER CRAWFORD & WILLIAM CORBELL COTTEN-POTTER -for having the sweetest names on campus. Use them wisely. -THE GADFLY STAFF 56 Maryland Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 shop@smokeshopusaltd.com www.smokeshopusaltd.com '--~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~---' THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 ~ "' "' ~ '" :: ~ ~ ~ �FEATURES nof"TI are differe om ist are one common element: they by . ussians. Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Turgen Nabokov... they all appear at least once. Le , Fyodor-what I like to call the "heavy-hitted two, even three times on some lists. "But Kikita," you might ask, "'X'hy are there so many great Russian novelists?" TI1at' s easy. Because of Russia. Covering more than an eighth of the world's land area, bloated with the world's greatest supply of mineral and energy resources, and the socialistic terror of the late 20th century American consciousness, Russia itself is enough of a reason to produce great novelists. As a people, they excel in excellence. Russia cleans up at the winter Olympics, churns out composers and ballerinas, and sends 4,000 to 6,000 smoking hot mail order brides over the pond to wed American business men every year. Below I list the top si.x reasons why Russia has been able to shoot Chekhov and others, like Soviet cosmonauts, into greatness among the literary stars. The Cold: Knmvn for beating more than one power-.tripping general back into Europe, the cold tundra and subzero winter clime of Russia has conquered the best and worst of men alike. It not only keeps the fur trade alive, but it also keeps people indoors. TI1ese countless hours spent cooped up around a samovar with nothing but murderous thoughts and a pen inspired ;,vriters such as Dostoyevsky to create egotistical, seedy, brooding protagonists. Vast Expanse: Russia is one of the most diverse countries on the planet because of its immense size. It spans eleven time zones and borders almost twice as many countries. It might even be silly for me to talk about a "Russian novel" because the differences between one town and the next are far bevond the differences between Indianapolis and An~apolis, and the only thing holding the category together is geographical proximity. 'X'hatever the case, tl1e sheer size and magnificence of the Russian land has imbued the language and writing with a wide-lens scope. If the novel has less than twenty main characters and 700 pages, forget it. THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 pages commenting on it. 1; Patronymics: Ever had trouble remembering tl1e fifteen names that go \vith one character in a Russian novel? Russian people don't. The name system in Russia has increased the populations' memory beyond that of any American's, and it has boosted the Russian v.niter's ability to recall facts on command. TI1e patronymics in Russian novels were put there intentionally to confuse and irritate non.Russian readers. For example, you might be okay with remembering Nikolai=Nikoloushka, but then tl1e v.'Iiter throws you the "Coco" curveball and you want to tl1row the book across the room. Russian Food: Not many of us sit around at 5:30 pm craving Russian food. Due to the Cold War, McCarthyism and the rise of pizza and lo-mein, Russian food has been pushed out of the American pantheon of preferred "ethnic" cuisine. It's a shame, really. Russian food fills you up like crazy. Eating potatoes, borsch, cabbage, and beef every day, we'd spend a lot less time eating and thinking about eating and a lot more time thinking about our futures as literary giants. Vodka: And I'm not talking about the kinds that you might have experienced witl1 a Brita filter and cheap cranberry juice, either. I'm talking about tl1e real stuff that provided Gogol with enough fire-belly and crazy visions to finish his manuscripts. It's no coincidence that the Russian words for "vodka" and "water" are only one letter off. From my estimation, Fathers and Sons was written with one shot per page, perhaps two on the more lyrical passages. Of course, there are plenty of other v..Titers in America and elsewhere that did not have these Russian things and still made it in the literary world. All I'm saying is, with the threat of Siberia to rhe north and the grim prospect of boiled beets every day, the Russians sure know how to get the vvTiting thing done . ...- �{POEM} Truth be Told ... Truth came to me one evening, standing rhere Amidst the 1Arreckage of a troubled soul And asked me if, per chance, I would forebear ... From seeking Death who holds the seventh bowl? From telling lies that lie there black as coal? -· From trying oh-so hard to gain control? From making fun of those that claim the dole? From pointing out false virtues to extol? From giving up complete my lifelong goal? From telling lies on lies, an endless hole? From shooting in my lawn to kill a mole? From messing up my chances of parole? From enlisting in the fatal Dawn Patrol? From painting black the local barber's pole? From boosting volume on the rock-androll? From leading to the hay a girl to roll? From opening the last forbidden scroll? From sharing not one pence of what I stole? From shirking work to take a lengthv ~ , stroll? From jumping gates so I avoid the toll? From telling partial truth, but not the whole? No'. From poetry that's lost its self-control. -lemme Dausman {TRANSLATION} Sappho Fragment, 31 <f>alvi:tal. µm x11vo; roo; Mmmv £µµzv' WVYJQ. otw:; EVCTVtt6; tOl iooavi:t xal. Jtl.am:ov &ou cpwvi:Loa; u:rc:aXOUEL xat yi:A.a(oa; tµEgoc:;, TO µ' ~ µ<Xv xaQo(av £v oTfj8c:m; £m6moc:v· co; yO.Q £; o' row ~QOXE w; µz cpwvri-o' ouo£v ET' ctxc:t. a):Aa xaµ µEv YACOOOCJ. foyc, f-.f:rc:TOV 8' aunxa XQWL JciJQ u:n:abt:CQ6µaxi:v, 6:rc:m:hwm o' OUOEV om1µµ'' i::rc:tPo6 µEl<Jl o' axoum ' 8xabc: µ' LOQrn; xaxxecTm, TQ6p.o; b£ :rc:aioav UYQEL. xl-.WQOTBQCJ. bf :rc:o(a; £µ~tl, TE8vfoo1v b' 61..,lyw 'mocin1c cpa(voµ' £µ' afrcm. - • He seems to me to be like the gods that man who opposite you sit~ ' and close to vour sweet speakinO' , "' listens intently and your lovely laughing! How it the heard in me excites'. How when I look at you, but for a moment, not even speaking remains and my tongue quits me and thin fire races under mv skin and my eyes have i~o sight and a roar fills my ears and sweat pours dmvn me and a trembling seizes all of me and greener d1an grass I am, and close to death I feel... But being poor, all must be endured. -Josh Primiano {BLOWING UP DOGS} -Patti Morriti THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 200 �{BREAKING} Plateless Dining? The debate continues .. _ LOFIS PISHA been the nutrition of the food we are to the students here, as ·well as the convenience of the Parkhurst JVU"'-~·''.,''"" "After "''a"n·""' \vhatever we St. is in nation." Ms. Stewart described the ,. ...- .. ,.,._,,, transition to Platdess a hitch." She said that would be available but we ask you not to use them it is necessary. Student'"''""'"'"' has been sharply divided on issue, into the self- TI1e Conservatives 'Nish to traditional of has been in the fact that around the to hold food. In contrast, the Ancients base their in The Iliad the best way to this is to eat 'Nith their hands. There been one report of violence during the Ancients ou.k,,oilcu decorative THE GADl~LY, OCTOBER 2009 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 7 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-10 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Issue 7 of The Gadfly. Published October 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.7 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/4e70a71b4b71a0c681bbb4514c6f9f6d.pdf 9c7d3cd55746b378f5009d5a88bc1089 PDF Text Text LY TH ~ I �T 0 H E n Monday, The Chrnnicle of Higher Edu.cation reported on Paul V. Anderson's ('87) career as an adjunct professor at Wilbur \X'right College in Chicago. Anderson, The Chronicle explained, was drawn to \Vilbur \Vright "because the college's curriculum focuses on using primary texts, just like his alma mater." Anderson had originally applied for a full-time professorship there. He was \Vorking as an academic advisor at the University of Chicago when Wilbur Wright asked him about teaching humanities part-time. Since graduating from St. John's College, Anderson earned a Ph.D. in comparative literature from Northwestern University. In an email to The Gadfiy, Anderson praised our faculty for its "high level of competence and dedication compared to every other educational institution where [he has] studied, taught, or worked." Recently, Anderson took up another part-time teaching job at the University of Chicago, in addition to his advising job there. It has been "always difficult for me to tun1 down an opportunity to teach a class," Anderson told The Chronicle. "It's part of who I am as a professional." Did he have a favorite tutor during his undergraduate years? "In no particular order other than alphabetical," he told us, W E E K REVIEW "Wendy Allanbrook (now at Berkeley), Ben Milner, and John 'White." A figure dressed as an Imperial Stormtrooper roamed around Mellon Hall on Tuesday morning. A few students, believing Senior Prank had come early, returned to their rooms and slept. D oug Plummer, a photographer hired by the College, was mingling with students near the quad on Wednesday. Plummer, who is from Seattle, was holding t:vvo cameras by tl1eir straps, including one with a characteristically white Nikon lens shaft. "I'm trying to insinuate myself with the student body," he said. ''I'm not here to take stereotypical, glossy photographs of college students." On his blog, Plummer described St. John's as "a stunningly amazing institution" but tl1at he would cease to post various photos he ha,d taken around campus due to "a couple of incidents of too much candor iliat have gotten [him] in some hot water." He explained in the blog' s comments that he has "learned to be exceedingly careful when discussing a client." ·what was that about? "It has to do with something that happened several years ago," he told The Gadfly. "It has nothing to do wiili [St. John's]." PHOTO llY DOUG PLUMMER - THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 I N C ollege-admission-essay.com, which bills itself as "The Largest College Resource on the Internet," published several nonscientific rankings of American colleges and universities on 111Ursday. St. John's, Annapolis, was ranked eight out of "The Top Ten Schools for the Pious." The website, which is run by a New York Citybased limited liability company called the Penn Group, did not respond to emails asking for the criteria used in determining their rankings. T utor Gabriel Pihas conducted his first round of sophomore paper conferences in ilie coffee shop on Friday. Pihas, who is teaching a math tutorial this semester, is known to conduct studentteacher conference in the Coffee Shop due to his "nostalgia" for tl1e place. "The Fishbowl didn't exist twenty years ago," he said, adding that it "feels icy." Pihas recalled how the large central table \Vas knovn1, in his day, as the "tutor table," where a student could hover in hopes of finding a particular tutor. Pihas said the Coffee Shop encouraged "more socializing between tutors and students." He acknowledged, however, that the school was much smaller at the time. '!Ir' Send ocmrrences of note to gadfly@sjca.edu. WWW.DOUGl'LUMMER.COM �Why Do We Mere Sophistry: The Swine Flu Study Ptolemy? Soccer vs. Basketball The Lingerie Football League PAGES TH GADFLY THE SnJDENT WEEKLY OF ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE • A.\JNAPOLIS, MA.RYLAND • VOLUME XXXI, ISSUE VIII his index puts him at the very top of physicists) or, instead, call attention to scientists whose work goes by unnoticed? And since I'm v.1iting for The Gadfiy, would an endeavor like the h-index be useful to St. Jolu1's? {ESSAY} The Science of Seminar How do you measure intellectual influence? KEENAN TROTTER I D ming my second Don Rag of freshman year, one of my seminar tutors told me that, despite his colleague's suggestion during my prior don rag "to speak up more," I had not in fact spoken more. This comment shocked me. I thought I had made an effort to talk more. (But who knows?) Gathering myself, Was there some kind of threshold? Do tutors sit down in their studies-or, maybe, in the faculty lounge, wisps of steams rising from ancient ceramic coffee mugs-and think, perhaps out loud, "How often did Mr. Trotter speak these past four months?" Further, what does a conversation about how often someone speaks even sound like? What was I supposed to say? Actually, I may as well intone, I totally spoke more this semester. And then what is your tutor going to say? That's Tight! You did speak more! No and no. Such an exchange is, for the reason of certain tutor pri,;ileges, impossible. The content of your thoughts supersedes their quantity, but the latter, in retrospect, is much easier to measure. According to that Wired profile, Hirsch came up with the h-index because he felt frustrated by the usage of purely subjective criteria to judge scientists. In Hirsch's world, it is not a grade at stake but a job, an award, a career. He answered a demand for a more objective system. Wouldn't it be nice if we had something like that? many times each has been cited. Say paper UNIVERSITY OF CA..UFORNLA.., SAN DlEGO, SUBMITTED A number one has been PAPER ENTITLED "AN INDEX TO QUANTIFY AN INDJVIDU.A..L'S cited 10,000 times. Paper number two, SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH OUTPUT" TO THE PROCEEDINGS OF 8,000 cites. Paper THE NATIONAL Ac.@EMY OF SCIENCES, A1'l ACADEMIC JOURNAL. number 3 2 has 3 3 THIS \XZA.S HOW HIRSCH WORDED HIS INTRODUCTION: citations, but number 33 has received just "For the few scientists who earn 28. You've published 32 papers a Nobel Prize, the impact and relwith more than 3 2 citations-your evance of their research is unquesh-index is 32." tionable. Among the rest of us, how does one quantify the cumulative Hirsch's paper was and continues to impact and relevance of an indibe very, very controversial. Scores of vidual's scientific research output? scientists like Michael Wendl, the physics In a world of limited resources, scholar, have called the h-index useless such quantification (even if potenand irrelevant. (Wendl proposed his tially distasteful) is often needed own metric.) But look at the tone of this for evaluation and comparison criticism: It wasn't that Hirsch was stupid purposes (e.g., for university faculty to believe you can measure reputation; recn1itment and advancement, it was that he had his numbers vvrong. award of grants, etc.)." Hirsch's index gave birth to more than t\venty other formulas (and counting) Hirsch's solution to the problem of to quantify a scientist's impact. They quantifying an a scientist's influence include the hg-index, the g-index, the turned out to be rather simple: a-index, the r-index, the ar-index, the mindex, the h(2)-index, and so on. ''A scientist has index h if h of his N 2005, }ORGE HIRSCH, A PROFESSOR OF PHYSlCS AT THE or her Np papers have at least h citations each and the other (Np - h) papers have ~h citations each." When Wired profiled Hirsch last May, that magazine put it this way: "Take all the papers you've published and rank them by how C an you put a number on reputation? According to Hirsch, and the attendant influx of indices purporting to accurately portray a scholar's impact on the scientific community, yes. But would such a number be useful? Should the h-index, or the z-index, or whatever, entrench extant reputations (Hirsch's critics have pointed out that I I 1 CONTINUED ON BACK PAGE THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 �COMMENT Blechl On History and The Program- The Infinite and the Finite (Part II of IV) M aybe I have given a rather idealistic account of the activity that goes on within our community. I wonder if any Johnnie doubts tli.at such an account is the end goal, but I would be foolish if I did not touch upon the undercurrent felt deep within some of our members. No city is perfect in the ideal sense of the word, and even the best examples can always be improYed upon. Opinions differ in how to go about effecting such possible changes, and we even differ as to what should be the subject of improvement. Proof is seen within the classroom. Some classes are more tyrannical, others oligarchic, and still others democratic. There is also evidence outside of the classroom in the talks of students amongst themselves and with faculty where more formal suggestions are offered. No Johnnie is ever completely satisfied with the "St. John's experience" for various reasons. Far too often our complaints get lost in logos and our still maturing minds. To an e.xtent we are victims of our own creation, always di.inking of the best thing to say long after the discussion has moved on- sometimes in a matter of minutes or weeks. These lost opportunities fester within us and explode in incomprehensible ways at various junctures. But we are only partially to blame for this. TI1e remaining fault-and I would go so far as to say it is the majority-falls upon the actual Institution that we ourselves give life to. The Program is exactly that, a program. It is ruled by, more than anything else, the great destroyer, Time. We are allotted only precious moments to read, digest, internalize and contemplate the most beautiful intellectual works of the Western world. Optimally we are given just enough time to grasp the work before the Program pushes on to some other Great Book and the process is repeated continually for four years. Even in the works where we spend a gTeat deal of time, we are left feeling as though we have missed far more than we have caught. l do not wish to suppose that we are not without certain resources to marginally counter-balance this grievance; I am thinking of our tutors, who may quickly recall or offer a vital piece in order to assist, and the assistants for the specific tutorials. But even then we are David facing Goliath, and there is not a hig enough stone to be found. Now, we are gently assured of a positive outcome by the very life that t11e Program suggests is the best: the contemplative life will, by its very nature, compel us to re-examine these works in our own time and in our own way for our own purposes. The C:Jreat Books are great for n.vo reasons: they contain within their covers a wealth of opportunity to continue to learn from them. More importantly they are great because they possess a strange quality that we often overlook, and that quality is endurance. These Great Books are not going anywhere, and even if our personal libraries were to burn down (heaven forbid such an injustice to occur to any of us!), we can replace our copies easily enough at any bookstore in the Western world. In addition, we only read a portion of most of the books, therefore an even smaller portion of any author, and the Program does not encompass all the Great Authors. Thus, we are overwhelmed by all the work we still have left to do after graduation in order to obtain the fulfillment of the task the Program gives us. This task of becoming educated lengthens with each passing year. As more and more worthy hooks are added to the already lengthy list, we are reminded. of a cartoon scroll, if fully unravelled that rolls onto the floor and out the door. Mike Lacy_ On Why We Study Ptolemy O n a plane from Xi'an to Shenzhen, China this summer, I fell into a depressive spell of circular thinking. Void of input from entertainment or learning, without the ability to engage friends or impress girls, this happens to me, and it is sometimes very unpleasant. If anyone reading di.is cannot relate to the discomfort of being alone with their thoughts, I consider them blessed. Our plane landed, and as \Ve went through the airport, I was miserable about being so miserable. TI1en I met Fiona. Our assigned tour guide for the city, Fiona was 23, spoke accented though excellent English, was bubbly and adorable. She immediately began speaking to me. I instantly felt cool, and being of nearly average height in this foreign land, believed I was not without a chance. She said to me: "Michael, is it true that you are studying philosophy in university?" "Well," I said, staring absently past her, "it's not actually a univers... but yeah, yeah I do." "Oh," she smiled, but then shook her head confused, "I don't understand how you can study philosophy in a class ,, room. "\Veil," I said, prepared to give the standard SJ breakdown. "Do you just sit around," she continued, "and not talk?" BAM 1 East vs. West philosophy just clashed head to head in the parking lot of the Shenzhen airport, like two luggage carts racing towards each other beside the taxi line, one holding Aristotle (clutching his toga), the other with Confucius (cross-legged and serene). I don't know much about Eastern philosophy (not that I know much about Western either), but I have a desire, or perhaps even a need, to align myself with some philosophic order, if only so that my air travel is more enjoyable. Even while visiting a Buddhist temple in Beijing, the most connected I could feel with this realm of living life is through a biography I read of Andy Kaufman, a devout Transcendental Meditation member. Can I ever fully infiltrate this type of philosophy? Stringfellow Barr seems a little apprehensive. "On the whole," he states in The Genera! Magazine, 1940, "I'd stick to our conversation, the one that started in Greece, not because the one that started in China is no good, but because we already half-understand our own and had better .finish the job." A concerned friend might say to me: "You're looking to be happy, and looking to ancient books of philosophy to solve that. \Xlhat the # *@'. are you doing? What you need is a psychologist." And l' d say to this friend: "I don't know if there's a difference benveen philosophy and trying JOHNNIE QUOTES - (While reading Kierkegaard) Ms B: 'Tm apprehensive about the past." Ms B2: "Oh. no! What's going to have happened?!" ~" THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 �-] c be happy. And to disconnect phiand psychology so firmly seems irrational, because, until take medicaall psychology can is provide self-knowledge, a seilH<~n<:rw1e I've found beneficial. Doesn't deconstruct the human soul using Doesn't this feel Aristotelian?" I'd then recommend mv friend research a nevv treatment .proven called 'Dialectical Behavior Therapy.' Then, we'd stop being friends. So, if I find some connection between our accepted modern source of happiness and ancient philosophy, should I give some credit to ancient sources! I'm thinking about Ptolemy, just as we finish him as sophomores. He aims at his philosophic actions. Happiness how I interpret an ordering of soul, what Ptolemy claims we have to gain engaging in lv1arhematical Philo;ophy. To do this, he says we must to try to increase continuously our love of the discipline of things ·which are '"'lut they are, by learning what has been discovered in such sciences those ing themselves to them, m~king a small original contribution st;ch as the pe~iod of time from them to us could 1ve1l make P'-'""'u'c \\Then speaking of people first discovering order in the world, Mr, Flaumenhaft--put it to me thus: They find you've got this tremendous numerical regularity; this was knrn.vn even before Pythogoras. In Middle East, the Babylonians \Vere verv at predicting what happen way up there. on the basis of looking at numerical tables. Then you get pecple vvho say what is going on up there is things going round. And it turns out you can tell by drawing circles of certain sizes, and configuring them properyou can have things moving while not changing. So Ptolemy claims that by studying what is constant in the world around me (in his opinion, the stars), I might rightly order my During periods like the Enlightenment, this orderliness seemed to descend to and now we have other sciences as mathematically 0 M J\f N T secure as astronomy, such as biology, and even psychology. Can't ·we argue then that whatever order Ptolemy derived frcm rightly engaging in astronomy we might derive from now7 But \vhy didn't this come from Eastern philosophy? Edward 0. \Vilson paraphrases the Chinese Historian Joseph when he of the older Chinese philosophy, this view t:he entities of Nature are inseparable and perpetually changing, not discrete and constant as perceived by the Enlightenment thinkers." Based upon this rese:uch and reasoning, I will attempt to engage in \vestern Philosophy to quiet my soul the next time it is disquieted, The Eastern stuff is obviously phony. But then Ficna was so happy m meet me, so little about me. questions test results about fatality rates in humans. This can mean one thing: are \Vorse than reported in all we are all going to die. The Health Center has promised HlNl vaccines to the student body, but alas, it is too late. \X/it:h the confirmation of these first two casualties of the imminent Swine Flu Epidemic Extravaganza (as it has been dubbed by Filipino newspapers by my rn.vn translation), we are sure to see a rapid spread throughout our cloistered campus where the virus has undoubtedly been lying dormant in several as yet non-symptorn.atic carriers. I have nm a computer sirnu!ation of the most likely spre;d of infection, a mean mortality rate and period. The scenario is this: since Patients Zero and One are freshmen, the infection will spread first freshman dorms and seminars. Now, one might expect the infection to stay confin~d to since th_ere are no shared classes~ t11eir dorrns are exclusively freshrnen~ tt 1s year, so the natural social St. John's student interaction s some of you remember, 1 hung up my Mere nd ink last year. a situation so dire that I could not help from comrnenting on has arisen. lt has come to my attention that two St. students have come down with the H lN 1 strain of influenza, commonly referred to as 'The Sv,.ine Flu." One of of these students has been sent and the other has been quarantined to her room under lock and key. While these measures are admirable, there is still nrnch to be done. As I am a St. Job.n's student who keeps abreast of the happenings in "the outside world," I am well aware of the need to speak as as possible about situation and make complete pariahs out of the infected; however, these crucial medical responses are only the of the prophylactic iceberg. Many have accnsed the news media blmving a simple mutation of the common flu virus out of proportion in order to scare consumers and ramp up sales of othen.vise useless items, like flu masks and hand soap. But the inconvenient truth is that the CDC has been strangely silent on this issue and has been dodging barrier. there are chinks in the epiden1ic,..preve11ti.11g arn1or t118t hopelessly compromise the situation, even if we were to round all the freshmen and freshman Rr-\s up and quarantine them in the Chasement, like they did in tl1e Civil War. The first common infection vector is Pinkney. Even 1vithout common rooms, it's still a gen11ophobe's floors of nightmare, vvhat with close proximity, poor sanitation, and not enou_gh exits. The is iI~trarnc.rals . ~the Hustlers would have been immune, except they to play against teams actually have fresh1nen come out for them. And the third is the overeager upperclassmen who have wasted no time in seducing freshmen and will anything, including break for some barely legal lovin'. In short, the whole campus is screwed except for maybe a few room-Johnnies in Spector and Gilliam. To I say: flee while you still can. I hear military is holding out in Riverside. remember to have a fortitude check before rnninto the daylight. computer simulation shows that about 359-() of the is im- THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 �COMMENT mune to the common strain of seasonal flu. Since the delay in our reception of the Swine Flu vaccine I imagine is due to its only mildly effective nature, I have derived a mathematical formula for simultaneously calculating the probability of being immune to Swine Flu and the mean velocity of an electron over a series of quanmm orbir.s. Needless to say, the proof is very complicated, and I (like our lab manuals) will spare you the difficult mathematics. 1ust take it on faith that the math works 0~1t to a little under 1%, so only about four of us will survive. As there's no \Vay to determine which ones of us will be immune, we need, as a community, to prepare for the eventuality that most of us will die and our reanimated corpses (as has been reported happening in the Philippines) will begin roaming the campus and the streets, attacking any form of sentient life at the slightest provocation. I'm no trained epidemiologist, but I have played a lot of video games, so I can outline a basic strategy for the continued survival of those happy few who survive. First, we need weapons and ammunition. Pistols, pump-action shotguns, and SM Gs are a good start, but assault rifles, automatic shotguns, and hunting rifles are optimal weaponry. In addition, we need to assemble a series of Molotov cocktails and homemade pipe bombs with beeping fuses (which will draw the attention of the infected to them) and stash them around campus so there are always supplies wherever survivors go. As the H lN 1 will have already destroyed the infected's higher thinking capacity as well as their fine motor skills (though, strangely enough, not the ability to strum a guitar and sing Bob Dylan songs), we need not worry about the infected using our own weapons against us. As far as tactics go, keep to confined spaces, make sure all exits are sealed off, engage the infected only in bottlenecks, use Molotovs and pipe bombs wisely, and, above all, stick together. Don't just run for cover at the first sight of danger, leaving your fellow survivors at the mercy of the horde. Remember, too, that the H lN 1 virus is a mutation, so watch out for warning signs of mutated infections, and be sure to find out their weak points. That's about all the help I can give you for now. Buying the PC game "Left 4 Dead" will probably increase your chance of surviving the Swine Flu Epidemic Ex- travaganza, so try to pick up a copy before your loved ones start coughing up lungs and turning into the walking dead. Pay very close attention to all the media hype surrounding Swine Flu and then double it to deterntlne how bad everything really is. Because honestly, there's no such thing as being too paranoid. lf you want to live, this should be your mantra that you repeat over and over: better safe than sorry. Blee Barks Soccer vs. Basketball W but not affecting it. One wonders if the writer of Ecclesiastes had soccer players' arms in mind when he declared, " ... all is meaningless, a grasping at the wind." Is it any wonder that soccer appeals to communist countries while basketball originated in the Land of the Free and tl1e Home of Larry Bird? Furthermore, soccer is a stingy sport, yielding two or three goals in a typical game. Basketball is generous and inclusive-everyone shoots, everyone can score and, ipso facto, attain prosperity unto holiness. Or is it holiness unto prosperity? I'm not sure. Aristocratic soccer bestows one player special privileges: a "keeper" who uses his hands to prevent otherwise worthy shots from entering tl1e goal. This is inglorious. In egalitarian basketball, "goal tending" is properly recognized as a crime tl1at is legislated against and swiftly penalized. The physical action of basketball is closer, geographically and theologically, to the heart, mind and spirit of its practitioners. The only time the action in soccer approaches the heart, mind and spirit is when the ball strikes the player with great violence in tl-1e head or chest. Photos of soccer players "heading" the ball clearly show facial expressions rife with existential angst. 0, wretched peril! Conversely, when a basketball comes in contact with a player's foot, play is immediately stopped and Grace restored. When this world passes away and paradise reigns again on the earth, I doubt you'll see a single soccer ball in the new Jerusalem. Until that day, we must proceed from one evolutionary step to the next. As you learn to \Valk erect, you switch to basketball . ...- ich is the superior sport, occer or basketball? It is asketball. Does this question matter? Yes, it does. Is it even possible to differentiate the moral qualities of the two sports? Yes, it is. Most importantly, do we have the courage to do so? Yes, we do and we shall. A casual analysis would note a few similarities. Each sport has a predetermined number of participants per side, the length of each contest is governed by a clock, and each gives the player opportunity to perfect his tl1espian skills as he writhes in pain attempting to deceive the official into calling a foul (though soccer players are especially duplicitous in this regard). TI1e most fascinating differences involve which sport is the most noble, that is to say, the most spiritual. In this respect, basketball is clearly the superior endeavor for the human soul. Soccer, hyperbolically called "TI1e Beautiful Game" by some, is of the earth. Players are obliged to cast their gazes downward at the staccato, lurching moveBlee Barks is the pseudonym for the author, ments of each other's inelegant feet. Bas- who wishes, for obvious reasons, to remain ketball aspires for the Eternal as particianonymous. pants reach for heaven, fluidly propelling their bodies and souls ever upward. TI1e basketball players' arms are open and outstretched, ready to offer gifts to the Creator in the form of shots released, while receiving heaven's bounty in the 56 Maryland Avenue form of rebounds. SocTel: 410-263-2066 Annapolis, Maryland 21401 cer players' arms hang Fax:410-263-4647 shop@smokeshopusaltd.com impotently at their sides, www.smokeshopusaltd.com reacting to the action, JOHNNIE QUOTES - (While reading The Aeneid) Mr L: "He's clearly changed in the underwear. .. I mean, The Underworld." THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 �COLUMNS {DODD ON THE Ql!AD} I Literally Hate Literal Masks I mean I hate actual masks. I guess figurative masks are pretty hateable as well, but that's outside the scope of this article. KIRSTIE DODD I t has been exactly 100 years since Gaston "Butterface" Leroux first published The Phantom of the Opera, and since then we have been reeling from that heinous book's catastrophic effocts. The book, which has probably been read by a total of three people, including the copy editor, was immediately made into a Broadway musical and seen by everyone on the planet. You might caterwaul, "Well, I never saw The Phantom of the Opera," but ask your mom-I bet she saw it when you were in the womb in its late-eighties heyday (that counts). In case you were locked up in a musty cabinet and didn't receive your correct measure of pop culmre education as a child, let me briefly summarize the plot: there is a masked musical genius (named "Erik" in the original novel...a French It's not. If I'm against the idea of masquerades in general, I'm especially against the idea of holding one at St. John's. In a school of five hundred where one sees a person's face 4.2 times per day on average, the thought of sudden, complete mystery is not intriguing .. .it's terrifying. Think about us ]ohnniettes; we women, the distinct minority, must settle on this campus mantra : the odds are good, but the goods are odd. Masks, grotesque and perverse by nanire, create parity amongst the men that we ladies simply cannot afford. TI1e same danger sometimes rears it.s head for men (re: Nikolai in \Var and Peace when he is ensnared by Sonia's Hussar getup). Review for a moment all of the movies vou've seen with masked characters/masquerade balls. On~s that readily spring to my mind: The Mask, fa1er After, Masquerade, A Cinderella Story, '!~You~oK Is b~ W\'n\ 1'-\AT t.ctCU.. '/00 U\Q!.. ( A ~tom.I!~ ~~T'O~ ~TJ Te.U... } novel about Scandinavians ...what?) who lives in the bowels of the Paris Opera House, extorts the managers, haunts productions, and falls in love with a stupid girl v.rith daddy issues and a so-so voice named Christine Daae. There's a brief love triangle drama between Christine, the Phantom, and this pansy named Raoul, and the story ends. This would all be tidy and nice if it weren't for the scene that glorifies the masquerade (or as some pretentious jerks or Englishmen might pronounce, "mask-err-ahhhd"), a very particular type of Bacchanalian in which people think it's a good idea to get dressed up in wild costumes and wear masks-kind of like Halloween. This could not be a dumber idea. Yes, it might seem fun to take on a new appearance for a party and obscure one's identity. It might seem fun to don a mask like a facial Ring of Gyges and liberate oneself from any beneficial de facto social rules. It might even seem fun to sacrifice one's T-zone around the eyes, nose, and cheeks region, making tl1ein sweaty and acne-prone, all for the sake of a "good time." Scream, Vanilla Sky, Batman, Sugar and Spice, and lest we forget, Halloween III: Season of the Witch. What can you determine from this list (other than, 'Tm glad Dodd is not the movie archon")? That's right-this list proves with 100% accuracy that movies with masky plotlines always prove tragic watching experiences and should be relegated to the back rooms of all Movie Galleries. This rigorous argument brings me to the main thrust of this article. 'V{i'hen you pick out a Halloween costume with a mask or an outfit that involves heavy makeup/face modification, beware. You'll have to deal with Halloween store temps, and I'm not sure you want that (where do they go the rest of the year?) Remember tl1at hiding your appearance from the world is not free license for lecherous activity. And conversely, don't come crying to me if you have to repel unwanted advances at the Halloween Reality party because you decided to cover up your hook nose and broad, unattractive brow lines with an attractive mask. I've warned you. You put on a mask, and you've passed the point of no renirn . ....- COMlC BY PAUL MORRILL THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2 �ATHLETICS {REPORT} The Week in Sports Reflections on Draft Picks, Judgment Day ROBERT SALE force in Frisbee (even when two captains are sideline fixtures). Josiah Stevens is also looking like a fourth round steal with his formidable soccer defense. Otherwise, a fairly average draft. Verdict: 6 out of 10 The hustlers also drafted, though you might not know it from their turnout. True to hustler form, JP Snyder decided to mortgage the future for a championship shot this year. Taking Luke Wakeen over Andrew Mize or Ezra Doucet is looking questionable now, but his sports are basketball and handball. Third-rounder Ben Hooker is looking like this year's Mike LeBlanc. It looks like the hustlers are just banking on trades this year. Verdict: 3 out of 10 S o, it's been awhile since I've \vritten a sports article. I realized that I couldn't attend all the games by myself, and thus I'd be doing some teams a disservice by underreporting them. And that's just not the St. John's way. Also, the Mighty Fine Green Waves lost a couple games here and there, and I couldn't bring myself to relive those painful moments. But now, I'm going to break the "recapimlation" mold of my previous articles and deliver some hard-hitting sports reporting, since reporting is the closest Mr. Pickens will allow hard hits to come to the upper field. So, in order to be fair and balanced in both my coverage and my harsh judgment, I've decided that it's time for a draft report. Basically, I'll go through the draft picks made at the beginning of the season for each team and say how good a job the captains did. • We start with the Druids, just like the draft did. At first glance, they really seemed to clean up: their top five draft picks all come out consistently and have a positive in-game impact. John Fleming THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 and Ezra Doucet especially are multisport threats. Nevertheless, the rest of the team is still reeling from years of the, "Hey, let's only draft for soccer" strategy. An excellent draft, but the Druids are still rebuilding. Verdict: 8 out of 10 Next come the plucky Spartans. Honore Hodgson has been a solid draft pick, dodgy shoulder notwithstanding. Jesse Rundle, third-rounder, has given the Spartan soccer team hope and an air of respectability. Although, one man can't make wins appear out of nowhere. Finally, there's the ine.xplicable case of drafter's remorse where the Spartans dealt second-rounder Alton Lind for Sam Frank (and presumably other considerations). All told, a slightly above average draft for the men in blue. Verdict: 6 out of 10 Third, we have the Guardians. Linus "The Feeder" Feder may have been the steal of the draft with the way he has impacted the Guardian spirit. He is dangerous on both sides of the football, has soccer skills recalling those of Ian Lindquist's Guardian heyday, and a is Finally, we come to the Green \Vaves. No real earth-shattering draft picks here. But unsurpassed in consistency and depth, Gil Shank has been arguably the biggest impact player drafted in the second round. Tim Reilly has been the only real disappointment in the \Vaves' draft that has seen their sixth, seventh, and eighth round picks come out and make big plays. Tim, if you're reading this, we miss you. Verdict: 9/10 • That's it for the draft analysis. Now, this should all be taken with a grain of salt as the hustlers managed to win all of their games until October and have only lost once per sport. But then again, they do have three more games to play against the Green Waves . .....{ATHLETES OF THE WEEK} Miss Perry (Pictured Above) & Mr. Feldman (Left) Congrats. �A T H L E T I C S {OPINION} The Lingerie Football League I'm not a pig. I swear. J.P. SNYDER I was recently told via Facebook by the _ ppletini's own Manann Mays A that I understood Kunai. I wasn't quite sure if she meant soccer in general, which I don't under· stand or enjoy, or Kunai as an organization. Set aside the fact that this is her first experience with Kunai, whatever she meant is inconsequential except in its inspiration of this article. l will now attempt to elucidate what I understand about Kunai to the masses. About five or six years ago, a new all-women's sports league cropped up called the LFL. The Lingerie Football League is an offshoot of the Lingerie Bowl, which started to appear during the halftime show of the Super Bmvl. Much to the chagrin of wives everywhere, the LFL is 7-on-7 indoor football league where drool-inducing women wearing bras and panties tackle each other. I know most of the guvs and at least a few of the girls are thinking, "Wow, that's awesome! Where is the nearest team and when do they play?" The rest of you are probably forming some idea about how I am a n~isogynistic jerk and waiting on baited breath for how I am going to bring this back to Kunai. Well exhale, because Kunai is the exact opposite of the LFL. TI1e LFL exists for the sole purpose of entertainment . TI1e Lingerie Bowl draws millions of viewers from eighty-five different countries. TI1ese women, in peak physical condition, most of them having played varsity sports in college, are some of the most beautiful worn.en you have seen. They are paid to be ogled while they run around in practically nothing. Nothing about the LFL is designed for the betterment of their participants' souls. TI1at's not to say that there aren't great women who play for them; but the organization is not designed for them, it's designed for me. Kunai is exactly the op· posite. Kunai is devised for the express purpose of benefiting its participants. TI1ere is one area where Kunai and the LFL are quite similar. They are both not really even about sports. Sure, it's neat that the women in the LFL are athletic; and playing a sport that many males love adds to their allure. But if they were all wearing burqas nobody would watch. Kunai is not about soccer or basketball. TI1ose "hell bitches" could be playing any sport, and it \Vould not make a difference. The point of Kunai is not about how well one plays, hmv many spectators are watching, or how in-shape it makes you. It is about participating in something where all that matters is your willingness to show up and your desire to enjoy yourself. Some of those athletic purists may disagree with me, but this is my philosophy while I am refereeing. This is the reason I don't call every handball, why I let some travels slip, and why I'll blow my whistle early to save another goal from being scored on a team that's already clown by four. There are few things as heartwarming and as-beautiful as watching ; ·girl who has never played a sport before struggle every Tuesday and Friday, only to see her persist in her attendance; then see it one day just click. She might not be the best out there, but suddenly she is unrecognizable from her former self. She either scores a goal or makes a basket for the first time and her eyes light up while every other player, on both teams, recognizes this jubilation and are proud of her. This is not something you can find in professional sports. This is not something you can find in a player whose only objective is to win. This is only something that can be brought about by the unconditional support of people around you and your will ingn.ess to try. I used to be of the opinion that Kunai was "sport for the sake of sport" in its purest form. I have diverged from this opinion. It is sport for the sake of the felicity and betterment of the participant brought about by supportive like-minded individuals. I know I often bitch and moan while I'm out there (because in some aspects it is just a job to me). But 1 am also jealous. I have been ingrained to such an opposite view of athletics that to find this in sport is jarring, yet oddly fascinating. It continually draws me in. I'm hooked. \Vell, that and it is women playing sports in shorts and occasionally sports bras ... ""' JOHNNIE QUOTES - (\Vhile reading Kierkegaard) Ms B: "Be more distant in space from me! I'm trying to remain illusory." THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 200 �T H Of vast existence, in the darkest of abyss, I see distinctly peculiar worlds, And, an ecstatic victim of my own clairvoyance, I drag along serpents which bite at my heels. And it is from that time that, like the prophets, I love so tenderly the wilderness and the sea; l11at I laugh amid grieving and weep amid feasts, And find a sweet savor in the most sour wine; That very often I take facts to be lies, And that, \vi.th my eyes toward the heavens, I fall into holes. But the voice consoles and says: "Guard thy dreams; l11e wise have none so lovely as the mad." EI {LlMERICKS} From the Accordian Tune of the Same Name -Gabriel Luzier l11ere once was a Lady of Spain who hijacked a black choo-choo train. She flew o'er the plain through buckets of rain, and for this she was counted insane. l11ere was a young Lady of Spain who flew a centrifugal plane. It spun out of control and dug its o\vn hole rather circular, just like a drain. l11ere \Vas a cute Lady of Spain who round the block pushed a long chain. Said a man with a dog who was rather agog, "You can't push a chain! You must refrain!" 0 0 l11e question, dear reader, today, one for which your attention I pray, is: who was agog, the man or his dog? It's been bothering me all night and day. -Jerome Dausman {POEM} {TRANSLATION} Catullus Parodies Sappho The Voice My cradle was leaned beneath a bookcase, A sullen Babel, where novels, histories, and fablesLatin ashes and the dust of GreeceAll mingled. I was tall as a folio When two voices spoke to me. The one, insidious and firm, Said: "The whole earth is a cake packed with sweetness; I can give you a hunger of equal size, And then your pleasure need have no end! And the other voice: "Come! 0 come travel in dreams, Beyond the possible, beyond the known!" And that voice sang like the wind on the strand, A phantom cry, one knows not whence it comes l11at caresses the ear though it frightens. ' And I answered: "Yes! Gentle voice!" It is in That hour that one can, alas! name my wound And my fate. Behind the scenery THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 l11e mi par esse deo uidetur, ille, si fas est, superare diuos, qui sedens aduersus identidem te spectat et audit duke ridentem, misero quod omnis eripit sensus mihi : nam simul te, Lesbia, aspexi, nihil est super mi ... . . lingua sed torpet, tenuis sub artus flamma demanat, sonitu suopte tintinant aures, gemina teguntur lumina nocte. otium, Catulle, tibi molesnun est : otio exsultas nimiumque gestis : otium et reges prius et beatas perdidit urbes. • ~ I I I ! I I �although it t\vankle and sway. Tii.at man to me, even godly seems; Tii.at man! If it's just, leaves the gods grounded. Who constantly sitting opposite you Sees and hears Sweet you laughing. Which, from wretched me, Thieves all sense. For the instant you, Lesbia, I've seen, nothing is left me. But falls tongue slack, down limbs a thin Flame drips,~clatter-coining Ears ring, wrapped eyes tv\'in Day and night. Leisure, Catullus, vexes you. Leisured, you swoon and exclaim. Leisure kings past and happy Cities doomed. (Under Green Sun) If we were a warbling wax, cast back to endubble-drenched sweezles of 0, I would be a god prince and you a freckled doe. But we're not, all must swear, underneath a Green Sunwhether you slobber Pink rot or sleep snug with a gun. -Carolyn Zelikow Oh we're not. No, we're notunder the hot Green SunNot a single one of us, not even one. (Pong-Pong Ponds) If you whistle and a whistle responds, somewhere through the somewhere air look to the ponds the blushing pong-pong ponds 'W1i.ere an ugly glance is something rare, and lilydrops grow on the lilydrop trees up, high up, in tli.e something air. (More Nonsense) Clawing as a beginning clicks and lzzes through the Pines: Evergreen and Ready to Rollbut never the less at a crawl, {POEM} (A Warning) \X-'ith a naked Buzz upon the air, Tii.roughout Squeeze Jordan's Blood Plum groves, there are many foreign weeds and things that give a grom-Girl strength as she sings. For instance, the orange striped African fern, can, boiled just right, yield an African Tea, can strengthen tremolo, if slurped in the Dark, can deepen even a Bloog-hound's bark. Or if you dare, you can pluck a Tiger lily from a particular swamp. Give it the Barest Orp of a kiss, and swim in your own melodorous bliss Onlv the Blood Plum kills the voice. Despite its delicious Twang and Taste, avoid it if you can, with care, I move a moving and lick a Black Brow asking 1, 2, 3 .... how oh how can I loop round a morning without a Flunk Ruzz Blast? And send a sneeze to dust to dust .A.s I'm moving Frog and fast. ~ -Chris Johns : {MISSIVE} 1heYear0ff 'W11.y taking a year off is a dead idea: l. It ends with a preposition. 2. When used legitimately, it is merely a euphemism. 3. It is based off/on what? 4. I myself it seems would rather travel. Let it be that we each take on a year. -Anonymous THE GADFLY. OCTOBER 2009 § "' �FROM PAGE T HRE~ C urious with this and other questions, I emailed a few tutorsabout ten of them, none of whom have or had me in class-and received one reply, from 1.H. Beall, who turned out t~ be very helpful in addressing some of my concen1s. Beall, who wasn't familiar with the h-index but was knowledgeable with similar efforts-namely, the Science Citation Index-felt wary of using something as scientific, as cold, as a formula: I don't think that one's participation in Seminar could be judged by such a method. I am sure that you have seen how a comment early in a Seminar has turned a discussion slowlv toward new insights int; the text. Yet the person who provided this idea will in many cases never have his idea directly acknowledged, except later, when upon reflection, you retrace the argument to this seminal contribution. T11is is something tl1at requires judgment. It certainlv cannot be done with, any numerical scheme. 0 I don't know about tl1at. The biggest problem with applying the h-index to a formal Seminar is that students often fail to cite their peers' ideas. (In even tl1e lowest circles of academia, saying something like "What some of us are talking about" or "I think someone just said" would be intolerable. It might even be called plagiarism.) Tutors, in particular, are very good at citing their student's ideas. (And, in truth, it makes seminar more of a conversation, instead of just a bunch of successive, loud comments.) So what would happen if every student was like that, if every contribution that'sprouts off another's idea is automatically pref. aced-automatically cited-by acknowledging the "seminal contribution"? Take a freshman Seminar of, say, tvJenty students, presented as a string of numbers starting with the number of times the most active contributor spoke, and ending with the least active member(s). 15, 14, 14, 13, 12,8,8, 8,6,4,4,4,3,3,3,3, 2, l, 0, 0 Let's say tl1at tl1is remains the basic patten1, \Vith some variation, for the whole year. Is that how you assign grades for contributions to seminar? Do you give Ns to Mr. 15, Misses 14, 14, and 13? (And what if tl1ese are the most egregiously banal, the most aggressively bad, contributors?) Can we replicate Hirsch's metl1od, using his index to solve a different-but, perhaps, just as important-commdrum? That is, how do you fairly determine who gets the professorship? The grade? Or tenure, or a prize, or even just a job? Is our working model to just talk a lot? Mr. Beall acknowledged what seems to be the hardest problem of Seminar, stating that he and other tutors "try to notice how someone THE GADFLY, OCTOBER 2009 helps to shape and move a Seminar by the quality of his or her conversations and comments." He added, however, that this effort is done "imperfectly." THE GADFLY 60 Cc,Jlege Ave-nu(· L et's take another look at that freshman Seminar. (Remember that they are perfect at citing their peers.) T11is is the same string as before, but with an added statistic: how many times the person was cited by his or her classmates: Annapolis, Maryb.nd 21401 United States of Ameri~a Editor-in-Chief Junior Editor Kin.""tie Dodd EH:abeth Spagnoletti Design Editor J. Keenan Trotter B1i.siness Manager Marin Skokand1c Graphii.; De.~igner N;.1ah Litvin Adt'eTtising Director Contributors Philhp A.."'IDV J0hn Bled\l Jerome Dau;;man Chris Johns Mike Lacv 15 (3), 14 (6), 14 (5), 13 Gabriel Luzier Robert Sale (2), 12 (4), 8 (10), 8 (3), 8 (9), 6 (1), 4 (5), 4 (3), J.P. Snvder Carol~m Zdikow 4 (2), 3 (3), 3 ( 1), 3 (2), 3 (4), 2 (2), 1 (0), 0 (0), 0 (0) The winner, Ms. 8, was mentioned more than three times as much as Mr. 15, despite only talking almost half as much. Still, tl1ere' s something distasteful about putting a number on a conversation. St. John's doesn't require standardized test scores, we shun college rankings, and we pass or fail our music and algebra tests. Yet the yuck-factor is hardly an argument against the usefulness of objective standards. Beall stated that assessing a seminar "requires judgement," which is exactly right. A number would give us a clearer picture, perhaps. It's just not feasible. And if it was? \Ve would stop citing each other; civility would end as we know it. (And, despite my frustration with not knowing what is and isn't "talking more," maybe I don't want to know.) Plus tl1e approval of your peers is an imperfect test of pretty much anything. Look at our Program: we celebrate a long history of studying unpopular people (in their time) and their unpopular ideas (at their time). Socrates, when he died of forced suicide, had an h-index of zero . .,... F ounded in 1980, The Gadfly is the student weekly distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapo· !is campus. Opinions expressed within are the sole responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most proiessional, informatiYe, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or less haw'· a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circumstances. TI1e Gadfly meets every Friday at 7 PM in the lower level of the Barr-Buchanan Center. .t\11 articles are due at 11:59 PM every Friday. Errors printed herein are, mostly, unintentional. Usually, typos, misspellings, and general false· hoods are the product of the human oversight, as opposed to malice. TI1e cover graphic originates from the 1950 yearbook. lt was processed for lnDesign by Noah Litvin. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 8 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-10 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Issue 8 of The Gadfly. Published October 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.8 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/af433543e5a38abc50f8d4d02190a59a.pdf 3d1c22c29c1c15c8f01ffc764b515713 PDF Text Text L nm STUDENT WEEKLY OF ST. JOHN's COLLEGE • ANNAPous, MARYI.AND • VOLUME XXXI, ISSUE IX TH E ~GAD F LY �T H I S Abraham Llncoln, John Willces Booth, and[?]. Paul Morrill Crime Beat APPROXIMATELY 3:20 A.M. on the morning of Saturday, October 3 lst, ffi.cer Hare entered the Pinkney dormitory and pulled the fire alarm. All residents were required to evacuate the building. As security checked through the building for the next fifteen minutes to find anyone still asleep, the students congregated outside on the damp cold bricks. There was no information given as to why the fire alarm had been pulled. Some speculated that it had been a routine drill since there was no evidence of a fire, but the absence of a fire marshal to conduct the drill ruled out that theory. At approximately 3:35 AM, the fire department arrived. After going through the building for five minutes, they determined that there was no fire. Students were then allowed to re-enter the building. Upon re-entering Pinkney, it was discovered that some one or many persons had discharged a fire extinguisher over the western stairwell and surrounding hall- ~THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 W E E K ways as evidenced by a thick layer of white powder coating all flat surfaces. This attack with a fire extinguisher is presumed to be the cause of Officer Hare pulling the fire alarm. Special Investigators Morrill and Dougherty were already present at the scene, both being residents of the dormitory in question. At approximately 3:40A AM, Morrill and Dougherty began an investigation of the scene of the crime. They discovered a fire extinguisher missing from the western stairwell on the second floor. Dougherty split off to find the missing fire extinguisher, while Morrill continued to explore the crime scene. He discovered that the extinguisher dust ended on the third floor stairwell, before the stairs to the fourth floor. At this point Dougherty rejoined Morrill, having found no trace of the missing extinguisher. They proceeded to reconstruct the events of the crime. Apparently, the culprit or culprits began their attack on the third floor at the bottom of the stairs to the fourth floor. Morrill discovered the pin to the fire extinguisher on the third floor, but the pin was contaminated by Officer Hare before Morrill could pick it up with his pen and send it back to the lab to be analyzed for dues. The pin remains in Officer Hare's custody. From the dust pattern, it appears that the culprit(s) discharged the extinguisher in front of them as they ran down the stairwell, holding the extinguisher at approximately chest level with the nozzle pointed slightly down. The tops of the stairs, the walls, and the hand rails were coated along with the floor. As the culprit descended, they sprayed the "pod" part of the hallway on the second floor, either intentionally or incidentally to their path down the stairs. The run was finished on the first floor of Pinkney, where the culprit is presumed to have exited through the back door towards the Chase-Stone dormitory. The culprit is presumed to have been intoxicated and as such would also have been yelling as they ran down the stairwell firing the extinguisher. Soon after the attack, according to Of. ficer Hare, a concerned student found him and alerted him to what die student perceived to be thick smoke in and emanating from Pinkney. This student is presumed not to have been the culprit given a lack of fire extinguisher dust coating their body. At this point, Officer Hare entered and pulled the fire alarm. At approximately 3:50 AM, Special Investigators Morrill and Dougherty ended their investigation for the night. No footprint evidence can be found for the culprit because of the many footprints from evacuating students that destroyed any trace of the culprit. Interviews have yet to be conducted of the students involved. It appears that there were no witnesses to the crime, and the culprit is still at large. John Blechl Outside Eyes and Classroom Dynamics - Part III of IV A major taboo in "Johnnie-Land" is fithe incorporation of outside sources. The general feeling is that they somehow cheat the overall "St. John's experience" because they introduce a short-cut to the ideas and philosophies offered by the Program. Often times I hear the ancient chant of those who feel that if Barr and Buchanan wanted these sources with the Program they would have, in their infinite wisdom, made room for them. A shorten version of this complaint against outside sources is the familiar "stick to the text" objection that many offer. However I am constantly perplexed as to their reasons. I fear that we Johnnies have become such slaves to tradition that we never question them when, ironically, we question everything else. I wish first to give proper credit to the objection against outside sources. Most apparent is the instance where someone brings into the class discussion an outside source and it distracts from the general spirit of the conversation. Focus is taken away from the reading and placed instead on the normally-obscure reference given by the stuqent. This tangent is both alluring and dangerous, like the sirens upon their rocks. For whatever reason, the par- �Vampire Weekend, RZA••• Recapitulation Watch Out For Cougars Poetry& Translations PAGE6 PAGE7 PAGES BVG PAGE4 ticipants feel compelled to investigate the new information given in order to understand its place and why it was offered. Suddenly, and normally a good length of time has passed since the offering of the outside source, the class realizes that they have gone a ways off topic and look to the tutor for assistance to regain their bearing. And even if something productive has been accomplished in the tangent, the class finds their ability to regain the former topic stuttering. The overall feeling is that the tangent was a distraction. To guard against such an interruption means to disallow such things in the first place. I sympathize with these objections and will even confess a partial leaning towards them. But to prohibit any such instance because there are some instances that do actually distract the conversation proper seems unreasonable. Instead of allowing an open market on such occurrences, I propose, like everything else that we do, a well regulated option. But before I offer such an option, I feel that my reasoning needs to be explained to hopefully quiet the loud objections that will inherently ·• follow. I give as evidence the authors them- selves. Look no further than freshman year for sufficient proof. Plato himself gives us the thoughts of Socrates, an outside source in regards to his own philosophical doctrine. Aristotle also spends lengthy portions of his works bringing in other philosophers (normally in order to refute them) in order to make his point clearer and more profound. Aristophanes' comedies are solely based on what is going on in Athens at the time; the importance and very comedic element depend on the fact the audience knows what is going on outside of the play. The Tragedians follow suit, as the Oedipus Cycle, the Orestia, and works by Euripides are based on mythology and, in some cases, on each other. Looking at these works independently of one another means that they lose comprehension, and we are left with that prevailing sense of lack. This fear continues throughout the Program, whether it is in the Scholasticism of sophomore year (the refutation of Anselm's ontological proof of God as given by Aquinas and many others), the Cartesian-ism and German Idealism of Junior year (to say nothing of the interesting situation of the Empiricism in Britain), or the fallout of Positivism senior year where philosophy is literally trying to regain its footing from the usurpation of Kierkegaard, Niettsche and Comte. All of these philosophers stem from one another, and thus the Program tries to combat the need to understand this by reading the authors in roughly chronological order; however, the looming sense of despair lingers in the halls. To understand even the individual text, and thus "sticking" to it, becomes problematic. Look no further than Dante's Divine Corned,, a book during which I read more footnotes than actual text in order to gain an inkling of how much I did not understand the overall spirit he presented. The same goes for Aristophanes. Each new author only compounds the problem of not understanding fully what he is saying or, more importantly, why he is saying it. As much as we would like to believe that these great men stood apart from the world around them, it would be foolish to enter into any reading thinking this was the case. It is precisely that we do not understand what is going on historically that we do not know how to interpret Epictetus and Lucretius, Plotinus and Au- THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009~ �COMMENT gustine, and all that follow. Freshman Lab again attempts to counter this idea, but even in our first year, where the classes seem to most closely coincide with one another; there still is a need for something more, some other supplement to fully draw together all the various writers in order to understand the situation as a whole. Another measure already in place is the every-so-often metaphysical discussion at the ends of epochs which try, quite feebly, to accomplish the idea of a cohesive progression in the Program. This need becomes more and more of a necessity when progressing through the Program; by Junior year the Program has become so fragmented that it seems like the tutorials are moving in different directions and thus does the luster of St. John's dim and begin to look more like every other university. Chazaq Llinas _ Music Review "Horchata" by Vampire Weekend The first single released of their upcoming album Contra, the follow up to their blog buzz break-through self-titled debut, Vampire Weekend flaunts essentially the same sound from their first album. An uppermiddle class Columbia indie rock sensibility mixed with afro-pop rhythms and five-dollar words. The track plays around with a surfer-rock boardwalk feeL "pincher crabs that pinch at your sandals," that makes us want to forget this November chill and go back to Ocean City in August. With upbeat punkish interludes and a xylophone carried melody, VW is filling up a tonal space that was absent on their debut. Bottom line, if you like Vampire Weekend, you will like the track. If not, don't expect much. If you ride the fence like me, give it a chance. Live: Dirty Projectors w/ GIVERS Have you listened to Bitte Orea? If not, do so right now. This year's best band plays a fantastic live show as well. The rumored twelve-hour rehearsals are apparent with an album-quality performance. There are no mistakes with the Dirty Projectorsjust pure, calculated gold. Opening with "When the World Comes to an End," the female voices interplay and bounce off of one another like pinballs. Hitting their essential tracks off of Bitte Orea, "Temucla Sunrise" and "Stillness is the Move," ferocity is seen in the pure talent. Opening was Lafayette-native GNERS, offering down-to-earth dance-pop (and a little ska) that you couldn't help but move to. Two fantastic performances, two great bands. Go get the year's best album, Bitte Orea, and listen to GNERS on MySpace. ponse: First off, I want to contulate one Mr. Blee Barks (yes, I assuming he is male) on his excellent Gadfly article. In case you missed it, it can be summarized thus: soccer sucks, and basketball is better. Many people I have talked to recently were under Sundries: "The Tao of the Wu" by the RZA the false impression that I myself wrote the article. Though I could not agree with The RZA, aka Bobby DigitaL best known Mr. Barks more, I did not write that aras one of the founders of the Wu-Tang ticle. I thought many times about writing Clan has recently published a philosophi- such an article, but I did not write that caVmemoir described as "a nonfiction article. I do love The Upright Posture, but I Siddhartha for the hip-hop generation" did not write that article. It was almost as (Penguin Group USA). Here's a Seminar- if someone had purposefully written that worthy quote: "Jewels are minerals, com- article to make it appear as though I wrote pressed pieces of earth, stacks of crystal- it. But I did not write that article. line carbon. What gives them their shine There are several tell-tale signs that I did not write it. A) Though we have similar styles, Mr. Barks appears to be a much better writer thap myself. Difficult to admit but nonetheless true. 2) I most s'urely would have included the quote, "Basketball is poetry in motion" and some reference to the superior skill and athleticism involved in basketball in my article. III) Do you really think I would use a pseudonym? Honestly? That's just not my style. In conclusion, I wish I had written this article, but I did n~t. Recap: Alas! Bobby \&ijAT ~l<Es ·nus c..u.-s~ So Sale you have forced me to come to the l'..O""f01LlA~~ \-S T\.t~ defense of virtue and HI t.dl "f~ c.ouNT. truth (something I rarely enjoy doing). Your completely obliviis their history. When a man recognizes ous recap of the draft was borderline blashimself, he recognizes his true jewel and phemy. (Not to God, as he doesn't exist, his body expresses that wisdom. He be- but to the only gods whose existence is evicomes a jewel himself. If his mind is sharp, dent: the sports gods ... Most of them are the way he walks and talks has a certain Yankees fans, by the way.) I'm surprised beauty about it. Attain wisdom and you while loo\dng back at the draft that you have all the bling you'll ever need." yourself were not turned into the pillar of salt that was necessary to swallow your COMIC BY PAUL MORRILL ~THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 JP Snyder Res_ponses, Recaps, anaRuminations �COMMENT article. I take no real issue with your scoring of the Druids, Spartans, and Guardians. Even your analysis of whatever team you are on, though vastly overrated, was at least based on logic. Your judgment of the HUHS-el-errs I can only assume was the result of drinking too much Hateraide. You know Luke Wakeen was the right choice, not only for prodigious handball and basketball skills, but for his unquestionable moral fortitude and his hustle. Also, a more observant spectator of the draft would have recognized that the Spar· tans purposefully chose Alton Lind over Sam Frank in order to get what they could in trade value from the Hustlers. And you did quite a disservice to Nick Wein· stein in not mentioning how vital he was in this trade. The addition of Lind gives the Hustlers one of the most dominating basketball B teams since the Druids B team was forced to play A Lind, Wakeen, Gore, Gentry, Welsh, with Coover's base· line shot and Mackey's killer pivot. .. does anyone really think they can keep up? These points could all be chalked up to you wearing blinders during the draft, but your last two points were outright lies. You know for a fact that Ben Hooker was not taken in the third round. The Hustlers traded their third round to the whatever· waves for Mr. Welsh. You would be hardpressed to find a third rounder who has been more valuable to their team's success than Mr. Welsh. Yes, he suffers from occasional bouts of waveism but they are get· ting less frequent, and he is getting over them. This makes the contributions of Ben Hooker, who has a job that keeps him from many games, all the mote valuable as a fourth round pick. Fortune favors the bold, and that is what the Hustlers have been. Only having lost two games so far and without having played the sports for which they drafted, despite the subprime mortgage crises, it looks like this loan will be paid off with a championship. Rumination: There are a few well known facts about Campbell Hall. The thermostat only works in extremes, the first floor bathroom is disgusting thanks to the drunken folks from the quad who are too lazy to walk down to the coffee shop, and the walls are embarrassingly thin. I bring this up because the other night, as I was lying awake in bed contemplatin g my own awesomeness, I heard grunts and groans coming from the room next to me. Patrick Beeby now claims these noises were from the cartoons he and Honore were watching. After the love noises subsided, I heard the faint whisperings which I could only assume was pillow talk. The subject of their whisperings turned to yours truly as I imagine most people's post coital conversations do. It was said that, from my recent article, people where actually starting to think of me as an okay person rather than some· one who makes them hate themselves by not living up to my greatness. This was quite disconcerting to me. The truth is that I relish being perceived as a jerk from my writing. In normal interactions I find it immensely difficult to succumb to the allure of douchebaggery. No matter how hard I try to be an jerk or the bad boy, I'm still just a nice guy. But when I start typing, all that goes away. I don't have to picture the audience reading this and am thus free to live out my fantasy. (And if I find who keeps tearing down my signs, there will be hell to pay; seri· ously, I've been taking boxing just for this occasion.) Jesse Rundle Report on Board of Vistorsand Governors Meeting L ast Friday and Saturday, Mr. Pasley and I represented the Annapolis undergraduates at the Board of Visitors and Governors meeting. We sat in on committee meetings that discussed admissions, alumni relations, and the Leibniz calculus manual. We also attended the plenary session of the board where the important decisions are made concerning all aspects of the college. The board is composed of sixty people that love St. John's College. Other than the presidents and deans, board members are often alumni of the College, though some have come to love it without ever attending. The board is the principle governing body of the college; it reviews and approves tutor appointments and budgets, it hires the president, it manages the long-term sustainability of the college, etc. I notcied that often times the board's discussions were centered around how goals can be achieved and did not address the why. This concerned me at first, but as the meetings progressed, I began to see that this question had not been forgotten but that it was so foundational that it did not have to be discussed at every turn. The board is dedicated to the principles of the college and, in fact, it is the board that establishes these principles. Ultimately, I was impressed by the expertise and insight that each board member brought to the table all for the sake of maintaining and improving the college that we all love. Now for some of the highlights. 1. Admissions: The admissions procedure at both campuses has recently been revamped and greatly improved on both campuses. The College has invested in new materials, new technology, and new methods for reaching prospective students. The College has brought in an outside consultant to help us think about how we present ourselves to prospectives. In light of the recession, in the coming year, the College faces an immense challenge in attracting a talented and diverse applicant pool, and the new methods in place in the admissions offices on both campuses should help to address these issues. 2. Alumni Relations: The Alumni Association, which is a separate corporation, is undergoing a transformation in order to better meet the needs of alumni. The goal of the association is to keep alumni involved in the College through seminars and other events. The alumni are an essential part of the College, and the association strives to keep them involved. The board members expressed that alumni want to know if St. John's is the same college they attended, if the program is the same, and if the College is sustainable. Surprisingly, webinars were proposed as a way to keep alumni informed on the state of the College. One day, you may be watching a webinar on the state of the College from your New York City office. 3. Junior Mathematics: Mr. Burke, Mr. Lasell, and members of the SCI were present to discuss the new calculus manual for Junior mathematics. The Instruction Committee made the decision to change manuals, but the board wanted to hear why the decision was made and how the changes are affecting students in the classroom. Everyone seemed to be satisfied with the expertise and care that Mr. Burke and with Mr. Lasell h ave given to the new manual and will continue to give as revisions are made. Santa Fe THE G ADFLY , NOVEMB ER 200 9 -....it!! 'I I �L E T T E R S move, and tries to go there faster. This might seem brutish and crude, and it is, but this can be especially good A~Response for us. As defenders we learn how to stay calm in order to make the best decision. As offenders we stay in control while striving for a specific end. An athlete's ' will is strengthened and confirmed every ports seem to me to be different than most activities we do here at time he or she is able to score a basket, St. John's. They are a wonderful make a goal, or even get a good pass off. opportunity to take a different approach. It is ex:hilarating to work towards the I mean that in so far as we do things like goal, and for no other reason except that converse and sing, we are working with you and your team want it! other people. Most of the activities we An athlete needs no other encouragedo include all of our classes: seminar, ment except the end itself. This is wontutorials, and for this consideration espederful, because anyone can do it. You cially chorus. We sing and converse with can be an athlete by striving to play well, other people. By working together, we even if you've never played before. It is create a song or build a conversation. empowering simply to do this, playing as Why is soccer or basketball any differ• hard as possible, regardle5s of whether or ent? A conversation can be furthered not your team actually wins. by listening to someone else's confusion Healthy competition is in the true and making sense of it. A chorus listens spirit of athletics. I agree with Mr. Snyto itself in order to get in tune. An alto der: Kunai is not really about sports. It tries to make their note sound with the is not about trial and error for the sheer other parts in harmony. For these types ecstasy of trying. Kunai is about someof activities we work with each other. thing quite different, which, don't get me This has its own virtue. wrong, probably has some virtue or other. In a sports game, however, we do not Yet it feels nothing like the immense take the other team's fumble and turn amount of living that can be done in it around in a way that makes sense to one decision-invoking moment of glory. them. We do not let them get a touch on Kunai has a great feel-good atmosphere, the ball. Neither does a defender dribble but is it really as much fun as creating a with an offensive player headed towards moment in which it seems everything, their own goal. They defend against the every force you cannot control, is at work approaching player. A good defender against you? -SOPHIE MlCHELEWICZ interprets where an offensive player will Athletics to J.P. Snyder S ~THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 and Annapolis are now closer in their approach to Junior mathematics. 4. Finance and Sustainability: In light of the current global economic recession and the ensuing changes in the tax code, the college faces extreme difficulties. Despite that, the Chairman of the Board made it clear that neither are we in a panic nor are we teetering at a financial cliff. The Board has appointed a Sustainability Committee that is working towards innovative solutions that will maintain the College's financial health into the future. It became clear that the College faces difficulties because of some of its principles, such as maintaining a student teacher ratio of 8: 1, and maintaining a need-blind admissions procedure. Nevertheless, the board is dedicated to upholding these principles while understanding that our principles are worthless if the College does not exist. In all of these discussions, I realized that St. John's always is and always has been changing. Without a thorough grasp of the history of the College, I cannot judge what caused these changes-whether they were due to financial difficulties or a change in principles. Has the College iniprc>ved? Should the College be moving in a direction? How much must the College change as the world changes around it? The answers to these questions affect all members of the College whether or students, faculty, alumni, or board members. Mr. Pasley and I will be leading a discussion on the BVG meeting at the SCI meeting this Thursday. We hope you will come with questions. �COLUMNS route to a friend's house party. They stared at me, their designer bags slung lasciviously over their powdered shoulders, and I had the strangest feeling that they were actually sniffing me. Yes, I think they could smell my smooth, post-pubescent flesh, and Disillusioned Johnnie Men Read Phaedrus, Tum to Cougars they were out to kill me. It was then I realized they viewed me as competition. _ KIRSTIE DODD DOTQ: But the feeling is mutual, right? KD: Yes, I suppose I'm threatened by them, too. I can't sweeten the pot with a hefty financial portfolio ... sing a powerful algorithm created by The Gadfly's perDOTQ: Do you think you could take a coug? sonal idiot-savant (he stays locked in the office filKD:Huh? ing cabinet...don't worry...sometimes we bring him a DOTQ: Could you take a coug? grilled sandwich from the dining hall when he starts yelping KD: Like in a cage fight? too loudly) that employs Ptolemy's table of chords, the current DOTQ:Yep. campus beard-to-mustache ratio, and a series of very impressive KD: I mean, no. I can't fight anything that I cannot underHjelmslev transformations, we at The Gadfly were able to ascer- stand. Chronophiliacs-sic?-make no sense. tain that the Cougar-Johnnie relationship ratio is up 10% this DOTQ: Do you have any other insights worth repeating in year. This increase has been on the rise ever since 2005, when print? Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore entered connubial bliss and KD: No ...but I t..1-iink Pha.ed:ru.s might have something to do blew up the tabloids {age difference: fifteen years). with this whole cougar trend. Socrates says something like, "As The cougar trend has been around for a while, but burgeoni..11g wolves love lambs so lovers love their loves." I think by "wolves" Johnnie interest in cougars is new. Apparently, campus males are there, we could extend it via wild mountain animal analogy to becoming interested in " ...women in their forties who smoke, the cougars of today. I guess that means that Socrates could predri.."'lk, ar:d go to clubs to pick up young men in their twenties. dict the future; Socratic pederasty is simply a prophesy about the Cougars are usually divorced, sometimes with cubs, and finan- modem cougar institution of today. Johnnie boys read that stuff cially independent" (this definition is from cougardate.com, a and t..liey start to think beyond the typical college relationship dating website run for cougars and their potential consorts). age range, which can be a.."'1.ywhere from high school age to mid/ Desparate Johnnie men are unconcerned about the official"rul: late twenties. of social acceptability for age disparity-also known as the halt DOTQ: I see. Well, look at the time! I have a 2:20 to catch... your age plus seven" rule: KD: Also, I think ABC just gave Cougar Town full season pickup ... Age of Older lnciividusl _ Age of YOunger lndi"ddufli ~ + t ye!l.i."'S. DOTQ: Um, can you leave? {DODD ON THE QUAD} If They've Still Got It ..... U 9 "' Last week I conducted an interview wit.ii Kirstie Dodd, senior from Orlando, Florida, to glean her thoughts about this new cougar epidemic bouncing around campus. We met in The Gad.fly office. She, dressed in a navy sweater (nauticai theme), was drinking seltzer water (with lemon) in a to-go cup. She sat on the office's (floral-pattern) couch. DOTQ: So, um, why do you think this coug stuff is happening? KD: Botox. Ever since that wonder drug, t..h.ese women are out in full force. And I guess women's lib is helping too-whatever that is. DOTQ: How do you identify a cougar? KD: You can see them every Saturday night around 11:30 pm, without fail, lining up outside McGarvey's, O'Brien's, Armadillo's, and Federal House with their friends in their typicai weekend regalia: French press nails, spray tans, stillettos, cocktail dresses, fresh coifs, the lurid look of boy-desire in their eyes, and the scent of embalming perfume radiating off their wrinkled flesh. DOTQ: Ever met a cougar? KD: The first time I ever encountered real live cougars in the wild was in 2007 when I walked past O'Brien's late at night en KD:Okay. So there you have it: the attractiveness of an older lady derives ultimately from Socrates. Or maybe just the cougar herself. Demi Moore puts it perfectly when she told newspapers, 'Tm an incurable optimist and a go-getter-it's in my nature to focus much more on what makes me happy than what makes me nervous." And what makes you happy, GI Jane? Younger men. {ATHLETES OF THE WEEK} Ms. Fernandez and Mr. Vanichstfan THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009~ �T H E Profanity and Swollowables B urning fruzz is what I'm after, and no two wonks about it. I come down a long corridor or hallway thirsting for the stuff. Left and right my gammy-gaze plunders the broken flesh-wallowers. Will it be of my lady luck's cruel designs tonight to nab some suitable cohort? 0 Nasty, I pledge my heart and whole to you. 0 Nasty, I plunge my soul. May it bring you honor or else me descent into your wide and giggling gutters. Like water I am poured out, and my bones collapse like gel. Be not far from me, all you who can smell. For Frankincense or Frankinstink wheels equal through the skiey gas: the first will be the first and the last will be the last. For burning fruzz is what I'm after, if even the petitest deekle of a grom-girl's snooze. To taste, to tungle, to bask in love most fecal, and scrape loose the belly-crusts to on bellycrusts cruise. A R T S You pour out to him hope, youth, and life And pride-that treasure of all destitutionWhich makes us triumphant and like the gods! Allegra Bisbee) Eli"""'°1ief Kirstie Dodd ]Mniar Edirar Three Johnnies -Chris Johns Lonely Wine The strange glance of an elegant woman, Who glides towards us like a white beam That the wavy moon sends to the trembling lake When she wants to bathe in her nonchalant beauty there; The last bag of money in a gambler's fist; A wanton kiss from the scrawny Madeline; The sounds of a debilitating and coaxing music, Like the distant cry of human pain. 0 deep bottle, all that is not as good as the penetrating balms With which you tend to your faithful keeper' s Heart, which has been corrupted by a pious poet; O Congratulations to Caleb Nolen for being the first person to solve the last math puzzle! There are no lines that can't be crossed When writing poetry. Your stanzas you might well emboss With vile profanity. You might cross lines of silliness with Seussian-type words. Or cross the line of friendliness and curse fresh milk to curds. You could pen out such lofty words Of proud pomposity That flit your thoughts like dainty birds Above a clear blue sea. You might crawl down to stinking sew'r To dwell in filth galore And find your hoped-for joys are few'r And mad.hess is much more. When we presume to create verse Responsibility Falls on us for good or worse To write in harmony. There are no lines in poetry That crossed out cannot be. And when I pen disharmony I've crossed the line, you see! Danny sucks rotten eggs . . , . _ T H E GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 E!i.abeth Spagnoleai D.siir> Editor J. K.cnm Trom:r Busm..s MA._,. Marin Skolcmdic ur three Johnnies are having another conversation. As a reminder, the junior always lies, the senior always tells the truth, and nobody knows what the sophomore will say. They are brought before a tutor who wants to identify the sophomore. Person A says: "I am not a sophomore." Person B says: "I am a sophomore." Now Person C is in fact the sophomore. The tutor asks him: "Is Person B really a sophomore?" Can Person C give an answer so that he doesn't identify himself as a sophomore? Crossing Lines But it's Fruzz, too bad, I'm after after after. If only yearning gags brought more than nasty laughter. 60 College A..,.ue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 Unim:I St2De5 of America -Charles Baudelaire (Translated from the French by -Elizabeth Fleming Blong! Blong! To ease the Honk! Blong! Blong! To Wrestle! Blong! Blong! To stutter and Stonk! When one wants only to nestle! THE GADFLY Gniphic Anist Noah Litvin ll<luonmng Di=tar Ph.illip &my Contrilnam Allegra Bisbee JobnBla:bl Jerome Daumum E!i.abeth Fleming aiJoe Gmabwg OuisJohns Q,azaql.lm.s Sophie Michelewic:z Paul Morrill JC$1C Rundle J.P. Snyder F ounded in 1980, The Gadfly is the student weekly distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the sole responsibility of the authot(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most professional, infurmat:M; and thought-provoking newspaper which circum· stances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submit· ted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all sub~ions except under special cin:umstances. The Gadfly meets every Friday at 7 PM in the lower level of the Barr-Buchanan Center. All articles are due at 11:59 PM every Friday. Errors printed herein are, mostly, unintentional Usually, typos, misspellings, and general falsehoods are the product of the human oversight, as opposed to malice. A Correction: The poem by Gabriel Luzier in the last issue is actually a translation of a Baudelaire poem. He (Gabe) is not crazy, in case that's what you thought. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 9 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-11 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Issue 9 of The Gadfly. Published November 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.9 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/1211c819888eb8510dbed86d18728f45.pdf 27e2116f2c8551a8ca1abbc1db37554f PDF Text Text �T H E o is the Vice resident of t. John's College? It's Barbara Goyette, who was sitting in her office on Monday. "I work with the outside world," she told The Gadfly. ''Alumni, fund-raising, lobbying for state and federal government." Like a good number of staff, she's teaches, too. "I'm not actually a tutor, though" she explained. "I lead executive seminars," which the College's website describes as "seminars for professionals and executives in a number of cities" such as Philadelphia and New York. (Annapolis is on the list, too .) Goyette said she especially likes seminars on poetry. "[Professionals and executives] don't think they can discuss it," she said. 0 n Tuesday, The Chronicle of Higher Education reported that St. John's College became one of the fifty. eight American colleges to charge over $50,000 in fees. (St. John's is the smallest school in the country to break the $50,000 mark.) The Chronicle also reported that college and university presidents' pay rose by about 6.5 percent in 2007-2008. What did the presidents of St. John's make last year? According to a report by The Chroni· de, which looked at IRS Form 990 filings, Christopher B. Nelson, in Annapolis, took home $262,500 in salary. (Michael Peters, Santa Fe, reaped $244,041. Nelson told The Gadfly that neither he nor Peters controls their own salary.) According to those same IRS filings, Nelson posted an "expense compensation" of $120,917, which The Chronicle defined as "fringe benefits that the IRS requires those leaders to count as income." Peters, though, posted a much smaller amount of those fringe benefits. ($39,889, to be exact, for a difference of over eighty thousand dollars.) What was that about? "There are differences in the appraised values of the 2 THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 W E E K I N REVIEW dermanship), while the aforementioned literature feature mostly black candidates. Wednesday night, The Arundel Muckraker, an indepedent investigative website, quoted Cohen as saying, "Today Annapolis voters sent a clear message that they want to raise the bar at City Hall." Cohen, according to the latest numbers, won by over two hundred ballots. 0 REPORTED BY KEENAN TROTTER WITH ELIZABETH SPAGNOLETTI CONTRIBUTING homes that the two Presidents are required to live in," Bronte Jones, the treasurer of the College, said. (She explained that the College reports a percentage of each home's appraisal in the "expense compensation." Otherwise "the expenses associated with operating the two Presidential offices are relatively the same." Jones also said that the filings are two years old. T he mayoral race ended Wednesday, with Joshua Cohen '94 declared winner. The election was rife with turmoil stemming from several concerns. Cohen had actually lost the Democratic primary earlier this year to Zina Pierre, who stepped down after it was discovered that she was severely in debt and might not have fulfilled residency requirements. And on Monday, The Capital revealed that part of Cohen's campaign was mailing postcards to the third, fourth, and sixth districts of Annapolis (created early this decade to form an African American majority) which informed their recipients that Cohen was quick to endorse Barack Obama before his presidential campaign became viable. Causing greater consternation was the fact that postcards sent to "whiter wards" endorsed mostly white candidates (for positions like Ward 3 Al- n Thursday, Elizabeth Fleming, a math assistant and senior, was sitting in the Coffee Shop, dispensing help to flustered stu· dents. She explained to one student the addition method of solving simultaneous equations. The night prior, ~ number of sophomores and some intrepid freshmen attempted the Algebra Exam. How did they do? "The sophomore class? Better than [I] expected," Fleming said. W aves and waves of parents crashed the quad on Friday, attending classes and following their children around campus. Two of them, a mother and a father, were watching their son demonstrate a Euclid proposition in the Lower Level of the BBC, just outside The Gadfly's office. Were they having a good time? Yes, they were. Their freshman progeny wished, for whatever reasons, to remain anonymous. "Oh, no, this isn't for The Gadfly, is it?" he asked nervously, erasing the board. Sophomore Luke Wakeen appeared on the sidelines of Friday's Kunai games holding a glove and baseball. Anticipating an old-fashioned catch with Sam Frank, he "felt like the kid who jumped in the pool when no one else did but said they were going to" when Frank showed up empty· handed. He prefaced his metaphor with the fact that he last played baseball in eighth grade for the seventh grade team. "I had bad eyesight," he explained. �This November Tea With Socrates PAGE4 My Meeting with Apocalypse Now? Ms. Waters Soon? PAGES {ON HISTORY AND THE PROGRAM} PAGE6 PAGE7 tion and thus to decline and eventual dmvnfall (Sparta) but embracing fr obsessively (or "going-to-the-well-too-often") or blindly also leads to destruction (Athens). Change needs to be instituted under careful supervision by St. John's finest when the need truly calls for it; tlms correctfer. To place a further load on top seems ing a problem and not needlessly changstrikingly unfair to both the students and ing something just for the sake of change the faculty. St. John's is a small communi- and securing the vast tradition that is ty and its numbers and activities are regu- such an important aspect of our College. lated on purpose. Adding to the curricu- With all of this being said, the option I lum seems burdensome in all regards. But propose is to somehow integrate history to allow this continued injustice to prevail in its proper sense into the Program. I seems far worse a situation. If modifica- understand that such measures have been tion is the answer, then we seemingly run noticeably avoided in the past but I ask, the risk of not heeding Aristotle's warning as a citizen of this polity, for a better exabout changing customs. But I would like planation than what has been given to me to point out that Aristotle is not against in all my searching. I am not alone in my such acts, he is against performing such fears about what the Program fails to offer acts needlessly and often (and thus ap- and how its shortcomings affect our abilpeasing the flux of public opinion which ity to realize that ideal goal of our beloved by its very nature is prone to constant education. If such a drastic measure as movement). Rome suffered a similar in- adding a history tutorial is unreasonable stance, offered by Plutarch in a reading (though the benefits would be vast and that we sadly do not have time for, under would lead to less work in finding out the rule of Camillus. A city is something "the why." It would help bring together that has its own life, and to live means to tl1.e entire Program, solidify our o~m edube in activity. Disregarding the notion of cation and demonstrate the true authority improvement leads eventually to corrup- tl1.at our Program supplies to us-as well Opinions and Requests - Part IV of IV What is the Program for? by John Blechl I do not want to call for any kind of corruption amongst our blessed Program; rather I feel, in all due respect, that by its structure the Program limits itself in unnecessary ways. This limiting seems strange when placed into tl1.e overall context and mission of the Program. The Program opens so many doors and leaves us, as President Nelson has so acutely noticed, with more questions going out than when we started. So why does the Program seem to turn its back on a fundamental aspect in understanding the very heart of itself? Again, I feel that Time is to blame. If the measures already instituted are not enough, what can be done? In other words, how can we improve the "St. John's experience" and the education found here? This question has no simple solution. The Program is already rigorous in every sense. Any one of us can spend the entire night studying and never even begin to exhaust all that the readings of- THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 3 �COMMENT as others inquiring about our educational system and those affected by Johnnies in the "outside world") then I would ask that modification in ideology be investigated. This could be easily brought about by simply making it a point (until it becomes a tradition) to remind ourselves of the historical context of the Great Books. This could be done in a variety of ways, from summer reading to tutors gracing us with their knowledge on the subject or just simply asking that kind of question, or even a once-a-week lecture bringing the students together and talking about the world in which the upcoming authors lived (these lectures could be drawn up and even just given to the students, in one of those expensive manuals, to be studied in their own time). There is, I feel, already an urgent need to reopen this investigation and I place trust and faith in the community to handle such a need appropriately. After all, the goal of the polis is not only to live, but to live well. If any of my words have offended and I have overshot my mark, place and intention then I beg forgiveness. I do not wish to make enemies within my own community, for strife at home is the worse kind. I hope that this offering stays in line with the general and distinguishing spirit of our Institution by promoting healthy and productive discussion at all levels in the College. If a possible solution can be reached (accepting that it would not come in my own tenure at the College) then I would feel that we have contributed back more than any Senior Gift ever has. For what are we but the last generation to those that follows us, and ancients to the ones that follow them? Should we not feel compeiled by duty to leave St. John's better than we received it, furthering the inheritance for those that follow and actively contributing to the endurance of our beloved school, and thus look back upon our time spent here-how very small it actually amounts to in the end!-with pride and honor? I I {WEATHER} i One Month of Solitude I Inside the mind of Blake Myers ... I j by Blake Myers I ts "high time to get to sea" to quote a book I haven't read. It's not even that cold yet. Hell, daylight savings happened today. I got an extra hour of sleep, but, to tell the truth, it didn't help. All it did was make things darker sooner and myself get less done in more time. Half of my laundry is still in the dryer, which I set to dry again as I didn't want to deal with it when it was done the first time. I have a hope that it will fend off the wrinkles from setting in, but I don't really expect it to. Too apathetic to cook, too apathetic to microwave a tortilla with some cheese on it, I ate corn chips and Pace while watching people talk about football games I hadn't seen. I'm not even a big fan of football. "Sixty Minutes" just never began. The TV was probably set to the wrong channel. I dunno, I never really tried to find out. I guess I'm writing this. That's something. I've started to reconsider the chances of a car hitting me when I cross the street. I figure they're higher than I've led myself to believe. You forget that some don't always make it a point to slow down for 4 THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 pedestrians. So that's been on my mind< Heard the geese leaving, laughing goodbye to us none migratory sorts. Good riddance I guess-I never really saw much of them while they were here, won't be much different when they're gone. Save for the cause of their leaving. It really is a fairly analogous situation to the canary in the coal mine-geese just don't have the dignity to die. I don't mean to be glum. It's just an awkward period. S.A.D. is starting to get higher on the ecliptic. We've been around the same people for a long time. The weather's no longer really nice, but its not cold enough to burrow in for the winter. I'm getting more tired, smoking more, exercising less than the little I already do. The walk to school: is longer, my room: more messy, my jokes: less funny, my girl friend ...well, actually my girlfriend is still at the same level of non-existence as she's been for some time, so that's not actually worse. And once again, I don't really mean to be glum. It's just that Candide is just as depressing as it is funny. All I mean to say is that a synch or two in my belt wouldn't do me any harm. The leaner months are upon us, and if I know anyone who needs to snap out of the doldrums, I think that one of those persons is likely, probably, me. Of course, I have sense enough to know that it's not just me. November has well enough stores of melancholy for everyone to share. Wny else would we have, Thanksgiving, Black Friday, beard growing, novel writing, and my brother's birthday all in this s::;.me month? To cheer us up. So grab a commiserate and have at it. Eat! Drink! See your family, go shopping, stop shaving, write nonsense, and send my brother a gift. If you're lucky he'll teach you how to white water canoe when it gets warm again. If you'll pardon the preachy optimism, things get better, or at least we should have faith that they will. Sometimes you just need to reevaluate what you're doing, how you're treating your friends, how you're treating yourself-and keep in mind that the people around you are very likely going through something similar. I'm not completely serious when I suggest that we should give ourselves away to our baser desires to get through November. But I am completely serious when I suggest that you and I should have a hot chocolate by a fire sometime, even if has 1000 calories. I'd like u.1-iat a lot. �\ COMMENT {EDUCATION} Tea with Socrates What have we learned here? by Michael Lacy F riday afternoon I drank tea with some friends . I felt very self-conscious inviting them, and being selfconscious sometimes feels like I'm not being at all. It makes me wonder: is the examined life really worth living? All I do is examine my life, and I hardly feel like I live. This question was a big reason why I invited these friends to tea, and I thought they seemed competent to help me gain some knowledge. Ms. Brann was the first to arrive. We chatted briefly about archeology while the tea steeped. I of course know very little about archeology, but I brought up some famous names and relevant events to show I wasn't entirely ignorant of the subject. She corrected me on the name "Schliemann" with a smile. Talking to her made me a bit jittery. I wasn't sure if I'd made a good impression or not. Epictetus showed up, bringing Socrates along with him. Socrates apparently had been standing outside Pinkney, staring at the flagpole for twenty minutes. When Epictetus found him, Officer Hare was waving his hand before his eye's saying "Hulloo, buddy," over and over. I told Socrates that I'd read about this on wikipedia, and was pretty sure he suffered from Catatonic Schizophrenia, and I could get the names of some prescriptions if he desired. He wasn't very interested. Epictetus snapped at me; he thought getting medication was ridiculous, since Socrates still had his reasoning faculty. "Jesus, I was just trying to help. You don't have to make everything so awkward, Epictetus. I'm just trying to be a good guy." Epictetus gulped a cup of tea bitterly while Socrates introduced himself to Ms. Brann. They sat on my bed beside the window and I sat in a chair away from the glare. I was pretty flustered that my tea party was failing already; I was trying my hardest to make good impressions. "Have you studied to understand what a good, and what a bad man is? and how each becomes such? Why, then, are you not yourself a good man?" "What the hell, Epictetus? Don't be a dick." I looked to Ms. Brann and Socrates to come to my aid, but they looked away wrists. quickly, pretending to be interested in all "I guess that's why I've been writing my books that I haven't read, yet. about liberal education," I murmured, "No good man laments, nor sighs, nor "because I get really anxious about it, groans; no good man turns pale and trem- whether this is how I should be spending bles and says, 'How will he receive me, my time, which stops me from actually enwhat sort of hearing ·will he give me?"' gaging in it. How do I stop being so nervous about it?" "I don't sound like that! Do I?" "Why do you trouble yourself about "In leading us to the roots of our world," things that are not your own? ls it your said Ms. Brann slowly, "and making us see fault if he receives you ill?" what is in our power and what is not, in "Yeah, of course its my fault if I make a giving us the best models and supplying us bad impression." · with a clear notion of their deficiencies, So then Epictetus went into his usual studying the liberal arts gives us convicproof that if Socrates made the mistake of tions-not prejudices or predilections, but not liking me, that was his fault and not convictions, strong, thought supported mine, and that couldn't really hurt me be- opinions which..." she cleared her throat, cause I have no control over that, which I "come close to true knowledge." guess makes sense. He wound it together "One way to think about it," I said, going to the window, watching some of my by saying: "If then, things outside the sphere of peers march fearlessly into McDowell for choice are nether good nor bad, and all their 2: 20s, while others climbed more things within the sphere of choice are in pensively, "is if liberal education gives our power, and can neither be taken away me convictions by understanding things from us, nor given to us, unless we please, more fully, I probably first need to feel what room is there left for anxiety?" convinced about liberal education." "Yeah, I know that, Epi, but I'm still They nodded, not fully agreeing too nervous about all kinds of stuff. I had a quickly. More tea was poured, and the panic attack this summer while trying to mood began to lighten. meditate." "I've learned a lot about this educaMs. Brann asked me if I actually knew tion from writing these articles. I don't how to meditate. "No. I was trying to relax know everything about it, but I've gotby meditating, but I didn't know what I ten a firmer outline, and I do feel more was doing. And the anxiety of not know- confident being part of it. When I read ing what I was doing kept me from being Stringfellow Barr's account in The General relaxed." Magazine," I held up the notepad I used to "Where he has knowledge, there he has copy his quotes from the library, "I really confidence," said Epictetus, massaging his thought I was in the right place. Anxiety might just be a sign that I don't understand something, and that's a place to start learning. When I talk to tutors and friends about books, and am not trying to impress them, but partially know and fully care about the topic at hand, then I'm confident and at peace. But what if I lose my confidence? What then, Socrates? You gonna say anything?" Socrates pointed at my notepad, thick with notes about liberal education, and said: "Let the voice of the charmer be applied daily until you have charmed away the fear." THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 5 �COMMENT going to be punished. "This wouldn't have been so bad if whoever did it had just come to me the day after," says Ms. Waters. "Then we could've A Gumshoe Investigates Troubled Waters worked something out. A deal, see? Now all bets are off." She goes back to her seat. by Paul Morrill I "If they come forward before the 12th, it won't be so rough. Community service riday, 4:00 pm. I walk into the DA' s up, and walks to the window. She pulls and a fine. But after the 12th, they better office. The air is thick with the smell a blind down and looks off into the dis- pray that they're not found out." of cigarette smoke, the blinds drawn tance. "But soon that won't matter." I think back to the residents of Pinkney. so only shafts of light pierce through the "What do you mean, Ms. Waters?" They won't be a happy bunch after that "The administration demands justice," fine. I do some quick arithmetic, work it room. "Sit down, Mr. Morrill," Ms. Waters says with a sultry voice. She's sitting she says as she turns back to me. "You out to be $10.00 a person, maybe more. in a cushy leather chair behind a ma- were there, you saw what had happened. I know I wouldn't want to be the poor hogany desk, staring me down, holding a It was a breakdown of the community! We soul on the receiving end of the wrath half-smoked cigarette. From the ash tray can't let it happen again." of Pinkney. Especially from a certain on her desk, I can see it's not the first. A resident of the 3rd floor, a Mr. Ben "The "What are you going to do?" "If the perpetrator hasn't turned him- Swan" Hutchins. Word on the street is he green chair in front of the desk beckons me. She's trying to get me off my guard, self in by November 12, we're going to killed a man by pulling his head up off his but I can tell she means business. I hang fine the residents of Pinkney for the cost shoulders, like a cartoon or something. my coat up and take off my fedora. "So, of the fire extinguisher, the fire depart- Made his neck as long as a swan's. Nothwhat brings you in today?" ment, and the clean up ." ing was ever pinned to him, but you see "Ms. Waters," I say, "I've heard a rumor "What?" I say, astounded, as I rise to my the glimmer in Hutchins's eye. Getting on about you and that fire extinguisher inves- feet. "That doesn't make sense! They're his bad side is a recipe for a world of pain. tigation." the victims!" "Morrill, get the word out if you can for "You probably have," she says to me. "It's most likely one of them who did any witness to come forward. We need to She takes a long drag off her cigarette, it," she says with a far-away look in her eye. find the guy who did this ." then puts it out. She blows out a steady "And if the perp knows that this fine is "Yes, Ma'am." I tum to leave her office. stream of smoke. ''I've been using my con- coming, maybe he'll come forward instead ''I'll do everything I can to find this guy nections with the rumor mill to try to fish of making his hall-mates pay the fine ." If before it's too late." outthe sorry sap who iced Pinkney." he hasn't come forward by now, I think, I "Oh, and Mr. Morrill?" I pause at the "But I thought the culprit turned him- doubt his sense of justice will make him door handle. "Have a nice day." self in," I say. come forward when innocent people are "Someone did, but... " Ms. Waters turns to me. "They retracted their statement." I'm shocked, but I don't let her see it. I {ATHLETICS} I thought this case was clean-cut and over. I • Officer Hare had found the fire extin- I guisher, and someone had confessed. I'll I What is the Offside Rule? need to remember to find out who it was , I I think to myself, find out who they're pro- I by Eugene Samarin tecting. "Can you even do that?" I ask her. l. . ..·-····· ·· · · · · · · ···· · ·· ·· ···-···· · -··· · ······· · ··· -····· · ·· · · . . "Without witnesses, they can do anything." Ms. Waters is weary of the world ast week the Guardians did the Dru- the International Federation of Associaand all the disorderliness she's had to deal ids a huge favor by producing a draw tion Football (FIFA)- this is the governing with. Kids barely out of grade school usagainst the Green Waves. Unfortu- body of the sport- except for the slide tackle and substitution rules). ing illicit substances, vandals breaking nately, it was not without controversy. Apparently, a certain player shot what windows and furniture. Urinals being Now, before certain people start screamdropped off of roofs . And now this fire would be the "go ahead goal," but it was ing that this is not the correct description extinguisher incident. called back on offside on a player that was of this rule, let me tell them that as I am Suddenly, she slams her hands on the not part of the play. In order to save us writing this, I have the official 2009/ 2010 table. "Dammit, Mr. Morrill, we need to countless hours of arguments of whether FIFA Laws of the Game in front of me as know who did this! Residents can't live it was a fair call or not, we just have to ac- well as the nice FIFA demo of this precariin fear that their hallway could be dusted cept the official ruling on the field. How- ous rule. next!" As we all know, any player that has the ever, with this weekend holding the so"Sounds like you know more than I do. called playoff for the men's soccer league, ball passed to him when he is beyond the I thought you had the perp already serving I would like to refresh everyone's mind last defendant of the opposing team is offtime on a community service chain gang." on what the official rules of the game side. Now, here is where the intricacies "No, no we don't. " Ms. Waters stands state (Yes, we do play by all the rules of of this rule come out. If an attacker in an {REPORT} The Maltese Fire Extinguisher F A Dummies' Guide to Law N°. 11 L 6 THE GADFLY, NOVE M BER 2009 �COLUMNS offside position (not interfering with an opponent) does not touch the ball, then that player cannot be penalized. Also, if another attacker with possession of the ball passes to the offside player, then the offside player is now onside and can play the ball without being penalized because the offside player has crossed the onside line (in this case the line is designated by the ball). In regards to shooting on goal, an offside player cannot be penalized as long as he is not obstructing the goalkeeper's line of vision or making a gesture or movement which deceive or distract the goalkeeper. (I know some will say that the player was distracting the goalkeeper, but to answer you, FIFA has the offside player in direct line of sight of the keeper for it to be considered interference.) If the shot by a team-mate in onside position rebounds from the goalkeeper to player in offside position, then the player is penalized for playing the ball having previously been in an offside position. But, if the offside player does not interfere with play and another attacker touches the ball, there is no offside. As anyone can see, there is a pattern emerging. As long as the offside player does not touch the ball while he is offside, there is no offside call. As for our games, they are officially "in the books." Nothing can be done about it and frankly I like the result. It sucks that it came from a bad call on the referees, but that is life. Deal with it. Just for those running lines this week, knowing these rules vvill save hours of moaning from the sidelines. i {DODD ON THE QUAD} i Apocalypse and Chocolates Now I The Great Books Program and Eschatology [ by Kirstie Dodd A short while ago a freshman asked me a very serious question indeed: "With your perspective as a senior, has the Great Books Program given you any insights about the Mayan Apocalypse that is slated to occur on December 21st, 2012?" Now, I'm not one to be well-versed in conspiracy theories, but I did know that the freshman was referring to the end of the thirteenth baktun cycle of the ancient Mayan long calendar three years hence on the winter solstice (or the Mesoamerican version of the Y2K scare). I immediately revisited the unpleasant memory of when I first learned about this theory. It was four years ago, and I had just finished watching a History Channel show about Nostradamus, Edgar Cayce, and crackpot eschatological theories. "What's wrong? Are you-are you weep. ing?" a friend had asked me, lightly patting my convulsing shoulders. "It's just, I just... I'll only be twenty· three. Twenty-three! I guess Keats was twenty-five when he died ... but still... so much life yet to live... " I searched my friend's face with fearful, bloodshot eyes. "What are you talking about?" "December 21st, 2012." "Shh, shh, there now. That's not real. It's some goofy conspiracy theory made up by bored New Age people. It's going to be okay," he cooed. "No, it's not!" I screamed. "We're all go· ing to die!" I picked up the nearest book-I remember it was a tom paperback copy of The Teachings of the Compassionate Buddha- and flung it at the wall above my friend's head. I spent the next seven minutes and thirty two seconds in complete hysteria, ransacking the contents of the drawers in my room until I found a bag of stale pea· nut M&M's, which I immediately poured down my throat. The conclusion of this scene? Chocolate is magical. It pairs well with all sorts of spices and fruit flavors, melts near body temperature, and coats the palate with a creamy, sugary, dissolving layer of brown aphrodisiac goodness that can improve even the most sour mood with a generous spike in the brain's serotonin lev- els. If I were ever in a situation where I had a "last request meal"-like if I were on Death Row or I was abducted by Chilean pirates and forced to eat one thing before I slowly rotted away in some dank, musty old berth-I would want the entire meal to be chocolate, in a menagerie of .different molded animal shapes filled with nougat or slathered in ganache, and I would eat it all and curl up comatose in a tight little ball and pretend to forget my problems. But let us depart from this scene of panic, which was, strangely enough, produced and placated by Mesoamerican byproducts. The point is, I had nothing to say to the freshman that asked me about 2012 because the Great Books Program has made me woefully unprepared for any sort of apocalyptic experience! Think about it: you are sitting in your living room one quiet afternoon and-bam!-suddenly people are being raptured left and right, there's a tsunami coming through your kitchen window, the whole world is imploding, and the only thought that's worming through your very clever Liberal Artsy head is something about the Myth of Er and maybe "Why didn't we read The Book of Revelation in seminar?" Unable to give an answer, all I could do was refer the freshman to The Phe'nomenology of Spirit. "Oh, it's all in there," I lied. "Hegel pretty much lays it out. You have to read very carefully, though. Once you figure it out, you can get back to me and maybe we'll grab coffee from City Dock and have a chat or something." "Heh, heh. That teaches 'em to ask me questions I can't answer," I thought, turning back to my lab homework. And yet The thought of apocalypse lingers still, crippling me in the middle of the night, following me to class, bubbling up from my Parkhurst Philly cheese steak soup, peering at me from behind stacks of books in the basement of the library. I cannot escape the dread that I will die so young with a mere pittance of a legacy left behind: a dejected pile of Gadfly oeuvres that would no doubt be washed away in the swelling tsunami tide. The only thing I can do now is sit back and wait for the destruction and pay a small fortune at Annapolis Mall movie theaters this Friday to see the new Roland Emmerich film 2012 starring John Cusack and Amanda Peet. You'll find me in the front row biting my nails and, of course, eating chocolate. THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 7 �M I S C {SPREADSHEET} This Year's D.C. Budget Club Name Aikido Art Society Croquet Crossfit Epoch Fencing Film Society Gadfly Gaming Club G. Longsword KWP OCF Reality Rock Room Sailing SCI Senior Prank Shammai Storyteller's Swim Club Theatre Vegan/Veggie Waltz Requested $300.00 $340.00 $1,934.00 $400.00 $1,000.00 $1,587.05 $1,199.61 $1,643.89 $40.00 $300.00 $1,715.00 $700.00 $6,150.00 $825.00 $324.27 $268.85 $2,250.00 $351.68 $75.00 $749.85 $152.40 $247.62 $1,550.00 Advanced $$. $$$$$$$$$600.00 $$2,200.00 $$$$$$$$$$- Write Check For $300.00 $340.00 $1,934.00 $400.00 $1,000.00 $1,587.05 $1,199.61 $1,643.89 $40.00 $300.00 $1,115.00 $700.00 $3,950.00 $825.00 $324.27 $268.85 $2,250.00 $351.68 $75.00 $749.85 $152.40 $247.62 $1,550.00 Total $24,104.22 $2,800.00 $21,304.22 Initial Balance Total Available $1,340.21 $29,273.21 Sem. Funding Total Budget $27,933.00 $24,104.22 {TRANSLATION} Song Sung Backwards Mounted chop-chop on my stallion Foot, I who born for, whose bourne toward, who's borne no more But as thorn but I be In its own foot. I got five gallants a toe But in time I've a : Lets go ! I've a hoop wound round my head, Holds who what where when how and spike, Got a hole in my mouth Bound with spikes. But what what is this ? But who But who takes off to ? ... Lo, comes the Being who flees On the air of not to be. And incisors and incisors, inside 8 THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 I've. My head in my mouth's no good, Won't close death's doings, As nothing' s words would As all get out, as any, It's nothing at all in all. But who, But who takes off to? .. . All on the air of not .. . It's h~re, th' air rolled to a dot, To a hot, to annulled, to less than a bulb, It's here the air of what? But what what's this? - not who's never-, But who, But who takes off to ? . .. Lo, comes the Being who flees On the air of not to be. And for another and battery baptized Corps Here's the crank, Etcetera ... - Jean-Pierre Duprey (Translated from the French by Carolyn Zelikow) THE GADFLY 60 College Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 United States of A.rnaica Editor-in-Chief Kirstie Dodd hnior Editor Eli:abeth Spagnolc::rti De.sign Editor J. ~¢1\3.n Trotter Bu.s!ne..(S Managa Marin Skokandic Graphic Artist AfoeTtising DiTector Contriburocs Noah Litvin Phillip Anny John Bloch! Chloe Ginsburg Michad Lacy Paul Morrill BhkeMye-rs EU.gene Samarin Matthew Vidin Carolyn Zdikow F ounded in 1980, The Gadfly is the student weekly dk"tributed ro over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the sole rc;ponsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most professional, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. TI1e Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circumstances. The Gadfly meets e,·ery Friday at 7 PM in the lower level of the Barr-Buchanan Center. ----- All articles are due at 11:59 PM every Friday. Errors printed herein are, mostly, unintentional. Usually, typos, misspellings, and general falsehoods are tl1e product of tl1e human oversight, as opposed to malice. {JOCKS 0' THE WEEK} Ms. Fry and Mr. Robertson � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 10 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-11 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Issue 10 of The Gadfly. Published November 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.10 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/527f6e044639279305655fd452fb1aee.pdf 3b664068df7e71daa256558a32f18335 PDF Text Text �{THE ANNALS OF EDUCATION} ~ THE GADFLY 11•17•09 Some Historical Context for Seminar From the Lost Manuscript ofTwineberry Barr by Michael Lacy F ounded in 1980, The Gadfly is the student weekly distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the sole responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most professional, infom1ative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. CONTENTS 2 Some Historical Context for Seminar Michael Lacy 3 l\Xlhat' s Missing? Jerry ]anuszeivski 4 Love and Basketball J.P. Snyder 5 RateMyTutors Keenan Trotter 6 Jordan Gunk Chris Johns 7 Letters Various Authors 8 Writer's Block Kirstie Dodd 9 111e Arts Vlzrious Authors SPOTS Jack Nd!! COVER Noah Litvin, from the 1950 Yearbook MASTHEAD Editor-in-Chief Kirstie "Cra:ie.. Dodd Junior Ediwr Elizabeth "LU" Spagnoletti Design Ed.itar Keenan "T & A" Trotter Business Mana.geJ C'rraphic Artist 2 Marin "Skl.":cze" Skokan.die Noah "PTecious" Litvin THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 T he name Twineberrv Barr has been all but lost to college history. I uncovered the life and work of this man whilst delving into many dusty SJC documents and secret files. The younger half-brother of the much more prominent Barr, Twineberry was a man of diminutive stature (he needed two Middle Liddells to drive a car) and of diminutive mental capacities. His attempts to master the liberal arts were more embarrassing than a sophomore music alto section. For several years he feigned competency in tutorship and general academia. The Anne Arundel Times declared his collection of Sappho translations to be "less readable than the Greek." And then there was the major scandal that was swept beneath McDowell's rug: one evening, whilst preparing for his freshman lab class, he quickly scanned the Pascal reading, got liquored up, and procured a tattoo proclaiming "Nature Abhors a Vacuum" across his protruding forehead. The story goes that Jacob Klein, who had a great affection for the manchild, challenged the tattoo parlor ov.'ller, Trustwallow Greenfield '28, to a duel for enabling such permanent acts of philosophic blasphemy (for a full history of SJC dueling see Kuder, Samuel. Swords & Pens Newark: Green Lion Press, 1958). The damage was done though, and Twineberry could no longer be kept in Polity view. Consensus had it that he would be locked away in the bell tower room until nature took its course and euthanized the poor halfling. With much bemoaning and tearing at breasts (for many had developed deep affections for Twineberry in the way one grows to love a mentally-addled dog), the group of tutors ascended tl1e many steps of McDowell, each bestowing their unique gift to the Man-of-Many-WindEggs. The story goes that the eight year- old Eva Brann (already in her 3rd year of tenure) gave Twineberry her favorite marble. However, it was Klein's gift, a leather-bound Plutarch's Lives collection, that would give Twineberry a purpose during tl1e remainder of stunted life up in the bell tower (besides banging his head against tl1e walls as classes began and ended). Though he was no good at reading the books, Twineberry thought he might give students a bibliographical context for their readings to be distributed free of cost in manual format. Here are excerpts from his as yet unpublished manuscript: Plato: known by most for writing dial.agues that use the ethical philosopher Socrates (who did not actually write anything himself) as a devise to deliver his own philosophy. Plato actuaHy did not unite anything either; he was actuaHy a devise used in the u'Titings of the phi1.osopher Heraclitus. Interpreted in the correct context, the Socratic dial.agues are used to demonstrate the danger of verbose nonsensical ranting, in contrast to the straightforward teachings of Heraclitus. Contrast for example: "AH men desire good" and "On those stepping into rivers the same, other and other waters fl.ow." The former is clearly false; take for example any executive order of our polio possessing pussyfooting pinko president Roosevelt. Betcha don't wanna step in that water, Franklin: didn't work out last time! Aristophanes: misinterpreted as a comedic poet. In actuality he trained under the famous doctor Hippocrates and became one of history's first medical specialists. He used his plays to educate the Athenian public about their bodies, becoming the first and last proctol.ogist/ urologist to publish his findings using extensive dialog. Preceptorial: one of the most prolific authors ever. Though some of his work is at times more popular than others, his book about Ni- �hilism (a sexual attraction to the largest river in Egypt) entitled The Brothers Karamazov is a college staple. The book is probably pro· nounced incorrectly; the K, M and V are silent, while the Os are invisible. Though heated contention over whether Preceptorial's authorship of Finnegan's Wake remains, the general sentiment is it doesn't matter who wrote Finnegan's Wake because it is incomprehensible. This is a silly sentiment; the book is easily understandable uust read every other page twice and every seventh page backwards). Don't tell people this, though. They'll think you're craz:y and lock you away in a tower, but someday the truth will be known about you and they'll study your manual of the Great Books- even if it has to been attributed to someone already famous, like Preceptorial. T wineberry was given a chance to tutor freshman classes once more in the autumn of 1954. Due to a severe misinterpretation of Phaedo in seminar, Tvl'ineberry drank an inordinate amount of hemlock tea in an attempt to become 'invincible.' Officer Hare Sr., reported to The Anne Arundel Times that a week after Barr's death, authorities were still "baffled as to where a man these days can get so much g-d hemlock." {MEMOIR} What's Missing? Transformation Rituals and Intoxication by Jerry Januszewski M y first job as an addiction counselor was at a clinic in a housing project near Baltimore. It was a dangerous place to work because the drug trade was open and the police presence was scarce. It wasn't uncommon to hear gunshots at night. The director of the clinic was just the kind of guy I needed; an experienced, street-wise counselor who was willing to take me, a suburban kid, under his wing. The closest I'd ever been to heroin addiction before then was watching movies about it. He and I would sit by a darkened window and watch drug transactions happening across the street from the clinic. He pointed out the crack cocaine users; they came and went many times through the evening. For the heroin users, one purchase was all they needed before vanishing into the night. This criminal scene, while instructive, was very painful to watch. The drug buyers were subject to numerous humiliations, which I discovered were the inevi- table result of addiction. And I learned that beyond addiction was death- and not very far beyond either. How is one to understand this behavior, when the pursuit of a fading pleasure so predictably brings degradation with it? The substance users desired something, and they desired it more than they dreaded humiliation, more than they feared death. But what was it they desired? What was missing? In natural and human ecology there are curious cyclical connections between death and renewal. Plants and animals die and become part of the soil that produces food for the living. One generation leaves resources for the next. Human transformation is often understood as the old self being mortified in some fashion to allow the new self to emerge. Death precedes rebirth. Transformation rituals, rites of passage, are legitimate and necessary for healthy progress through the stages of life. This is often represented symbolically, as in baptism or graduation ceremonies. In THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 3 �\I authentic rites of passage, paruc1pants are willing to accept humiliation and risk death for passage into a higher way of life with a better self. If our culture fails to provide productive ways for us to find this renewal in a death-and-rebirth cycle, we seek it out ourselves in ways that are som.etim.es m.ore destructive than renewing. Heavy substance use in college is spoken of by som.e as a rite of passage, allegedly aiding the transformation from. youth to adulthood. The idea is that intoxication represents a sort of death, a passage into a transcendent state, from. which the person returns changed in som.e important and useful way. In legitimate rites of passage, the participant goes through the deathexperience in order to receive a gift, after which he or she is reincorporated into society with a new and elevated social status, and v•lith a new contribution to m.ake. The pursuit of intoxication does not accomplish this. It provides the metaphoric death (transcendent separation from. m.y sober self, entering into a substance using culture) without the subsequent returning to society with genuine gifts to offer. The substance user is seeking something ennobling in an ignoble way, destined to fail because the experience of intoxication eventually takes more than it gives. A literal death cam.e to the clinic where I worked. A patient who had been building a seemingly healthy recovery from heroin addiction, a guy who was an example and inspiration to other patients, died of a heroin overdose. I visited his fam.ilywho were still dumbstruck by the news. I sat on the sofa in his mother's living room. try· ing to console his best friend, not knowing what to say. The friend described how well his buddy had been doing, how bright the future seemed, and how incomprehensible was his return to heroin use. Everything seemed to be going so well. In wide-eyed griefhe looked at m.e and asked, "What was missing?" What was missing? A tragic question when asked in the past tense. Of all the questions we ask ourselves at St. John's College, this question, asked in the pres· ent tense, m.ay be one of the m.ost important. If heavy drinking and other drug use in college are supposed to be rites of passage to a better self by providing something that's missing, is the strategy succeeding? What is missing and what is gained? Without honest answers to those questions, authentic passage to our better selves is hindered. {THIS ATHLETIC LIFE} Love and Basketball The Curse of Natural Talent by J.P. Snyder T here are few things I actually regret in life. I try to live by the philosophy that there are no real right or wrong actions, only experiences; it just so happens that some are m.ore pleasurable than others. This has worked out for m.e pretty well so far. By all appearances, I have a great life, and things tend to work out in m.y favor. So when I think back on m.y past and wonder if there is anything I would have done differently, I com.e up with a pretty short list. There are only two things that keep m.e up at night, wondering how things would be today if I had changed one action even ever so slightly: Love and Basketball. (No, I'm. not talking about the movie; I don't regret watching it and even recom.m.end it.) When trying to decipher what it is about these two aspects of m.y life that have caused m.e to question myself, I find quite a few similarities. Both require dedication and com.m.itm.ent in order to sue- 4 THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 ceed. Both will wear you out, physically and mentally. You can play both by yourself, but it is more fun with someone else, and in som.e cases multiple people. Both can m.ake you feel ecstatic, like you are floating on air, and then throw you into utter despair the very next m.om.ent. Both have winners and losers. The point is that Lhave often wondered what m.y life would be like had I tried a little harder at both, had I the courage to push myself and be more aggressive. I came into basketball as a late bloomer. I was, believe it or not, short in middle school and was told that I didn't make the junior high team because of my height. I still played regularly outside of school and eventually hit a growth spurt that caused the coaches to pay closer attention to me at the next try out. I m.ade the team and was pretty good. I eventually moved and {CONTINUED ON PAGE SIX} {THE INTERNET} RateMyTutors Contains a matrix. by Keenan Trotter T wo years ago, when I was going to a different college, I, along with thousands of my peers there, was creating my academic schedule for the next semester. A rather large part of this endeavor, in which I chose five classes out of a catalog of several hundred, involved the website RateMyProfessors.com. The website asks students to rate their teachers in terms of "easiness," "helpfulness," and "clarity," like a consumer survey or a book review. Students also have the option of stating whether a particular teacher is physically attractive; enough of those votes garners a teacher's page a "hot tamale" icon. Of particular import are the comments, in which students dissect their professors' teaching habits, tics, grading policies, humor, and other didactic accoutrements. Anonymously. There is nothing scientific about RateMyProfessors, nothing especially fair or reflective, yet it held crucial sway in deciding which classes I would take. (Why, after all, would I wish to take a class taught by a professor who reportedly loses students' papers and then accuses said students of never handing them in?) W e don't really have the option of choosing our tutors. Most of us are stuck, you could put it, with the tutors randomly assigned to us by the registrar, a person m.ost of us do not speak to on a regular basis. Very few other colleges operate this way. So why bother to "rate" your "professors?" That's a good question. A lot of comments on the site are vindictive, petty, and inane. (Still, St. John's appears to depend of student comments for trying out new tutors, so perhaps something about The Internet enables the sorrier side of our consciences to emerge.) The central question of RateMyProfessors is this: are there bad teachers? (Or do filters like the hiring process or the tenure "track" always whittle the bad ones away before they enter a classroom, much less secure a faculty position?) Anyway, what do we have to say? Quite a lot, actually, with varying degrees of intelligence. See for yourself. �DEEP "[H]e is an example of the way St. John's ought to be, meaning that he [...] could actually interact with other human beings in a capable manner." ''A total sophist. Has an agenda that has nothing to do with understanding the books we discuss. He will go so far as trying to deny that the text says something it does say, even when somebody quotes the text directly. He is the reason two tutors are needed in seminar." "I think the world of St. John's would be just a bit colder if [he] weren't there." "He was unwilling to help with paper issues, saying 'I don't know how to write a SJC math paper, so I certainly can't help you learn how to write one.' He certainly knew how to grade them." < E-< [He] managed to leave me with an understanding of why translation matters. "Inscrutable." "She forgets words and gets off subject, but it's the kind of getting off subject that keeps you learning, just about different stuff." "[H)e reminded me of a below average biology teacher that I had in high school that was more interested in being popular with the students than in imparting knowledge." • "A beautifully sarcastic man." '"'O 0 Vl ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.__~~~~~~~~~~~-----'~~~~~- Cl "I think she acthally believes in the Greek gods." ~ z "She has actually ferreted personal details about students' home and financial problems and brought them into academic discussions. Respected-not sure why." i-3 < trl "Wisdom drips from her lips like honey." "I seriously resent her influence on my education." "Excessively egalitarian. Not especially insightful." ''A total disaster! At times, he doesn't seem to have done the reading. Too often, he is personally insulting in the references he makes to students." "He's enthusiastic, intelligent, and funny. He made class worth attending." "Would never intimidate anyone, but loses no authority as a result. Also, if he doesn't know everything, I've seen no evidence." "Best sarcasm EVER. Ask him to do the face thing." "Sort of helpful, sdrtof standoff-ish." "[H]e's willing to mock really cocky students, which is great!" "Poor professor with a his own 'my way or highway' attitude." "SO great" ASININE THE ABOVE COMMENTS WERE CULLED FROM RATEMYPROFESSORS .COM. ALL ARE .4NONYMOUS. COMMENTS © 2009 R.4TEMYPROFESSORS .COM, LLC. THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 5 �{FROM PAGE FOUR} played for other teams, but never felt like I had reached my full potential. My problem was that I was cursed with natural talent. My calling this a curse may sound strange to a few of you, but it is. It is the truth, and it is the same with any kind of talent. It provides a head start over one's peers and, to a certain respect, a degree of laziness. I never had to work as hard as was needed to really push me to reach my peak. I was content to be a big fish in a little pond. The same is true with many intellectuals. You'll find the ones who work the hardest and go the farthest are not the ones with the most natural inclination to· wards an area, but those who are making up for a deficiency. Maybe you yourself have recognized these people in your classes, the ones who work non-stop to arrive at an understanding that took you minutes to come to. Or, perhaps you are lucky enough to be one of these people. It is those with drive who truly have no regret. The same is true for love. It had always come easy for me, and rarely have I met an obstacle I couldn't easily handle. But I had not developed the skill set of hard work in the same manner as someone who was deficient and could truly appreciate the subject. Thus, I find myself contemplating what I could have done to make it work with a variety of women and if it would have been worth it or if it is even worth it now. Similarly, I find my basketball skill set disintegrating while those around me, most of whom have rarely played, only get better. Where would I be if I had this drive that I see in faces around me? Could I be playing Division I ball somewhere, or would I have burned out and been stuck at a university that had nothing for me? Could I have found true happiness -with some broad or would I have been stuck in a meaningless, unfulfilling relationship? In the end, there is no real point to wishing I had done anything different. I have made the choices I have made (I'll oO 6 THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 oO save my free will arguments for some other time) and must live with the consequences. All I can do is take what fear these thoughts have instilled in me and put that energy into bettering myself, into giving as much effort as possible in hopes that these horrific daydreams will be avoided. If anything, I should be working harder towards my goals. Being a senior however, the time is quickly ap· proaching when I actually have to start making them. �L {SPORTS} .P~ 'A't inake the inove fro1n outside sports to inside ones, it is an opportune time to discuss competition. Competition is a part of oc:r life and, as such, must be seen as a part of a greater Vi'hole. The part must also be \vhat the ~1hole strives for. Aristotle says t..1-iat every man strives to do good, ar1d I agree. Since our lives ain1 at the good, competition must also aim at t..1-ie same good. Then, what is t..'ie good in competition? Certainly the good is \Vinning, but what is winning? In answerirnz this:·it may help to think 7:,f what sports i~ often related to} V/a.r. b war, to win is to desrroy the enemy. In sports, this is not the case. If the Intramural Program suddenly ceased to be, it would not be haled as a great victory, but rather as a great loss. Thus, the good in sports is not an e:::id of motion but a contirl_uation of it. The good that is derived from sports is in a continuous action, not single disciete actions. This continuous action is the playing of sports, or competing. The discrete actions don't matter. The amount of times you talk in class, ot the shots vou miss, or passes you complete will not get you any closer to the good of competition. It is in the striving to rn.ake a shot, or to understand a text, or complete a pass. The good of competition lies in the striving to make you, your team, and your class1nates want partake. Just as acting virtuous once doesn't make one a virtuous person, doing any of the above actions once does not give one the good of competition. Rat.1-ier, the good lies in the never-ending motion of these things. -Jake Simon {CONFESSION} I have a HUGE problem. I was told college is going to be the most fun I ·will ever .c T T E R S have in my whole life ever. This is four great years (or more ifl resign to The State School) out of approximately 76.8 years (or fev~rer if I resign to The State School) I now realize that at the end of this semester I will be 12.5% through, and I feel like I haven't even started! I know, I know, I shouldn't have expectations. But having Vlatched '11.nimal House" since I was a breast-feeding bundle of jaundiced flesh and "Road Trip" since pre-pubescence, I came to believe that college \\ 0uld be rnore like controlled them now? Please Help Me, -Lost and f\lot Having Enough Fun in Carr~pbeH 6 7 Editor's Note: The Ga.dfo advises MT. Ca.mpbelI to suck it up, keep showing up to Gadfly meetings, OT get the heU out of Campbel!. P~Lso, ive stiU need an advice columnist! {FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK} Polity! Polity! Polity! chaos than sedation. To illurr.dnate, let me tell you a story my father told me: "Once upon a time, son, in a mythical land called The College of Amherst, there were a bunch of college guys, one of whom owned a hearse. On what would have been a normal weekend night, eleven of them and many gallons of internalized beer entered said hearse and drove around the fair fields surrounding their noble buildings of Higher Education. The police (pohce, not security, good lad) drove by, and those in the hearse all waved to the police officer: eleven fingers shov,-n waving like swords before battle. The next day, the police sent a letter to the school asking the driver (who was easilv found, for his stead was like that of no other), vl'hy he had been dri\ing around their yard with so many others in the back of his vehicle. To this he responded, 'Our friend was hurt, and we had to rush him to the hospital. Sorry.' And so he was released with out penalty. The En,t" Johnnie, this is not even the best of 1--..is stories; it is merely the least illegal. The most fun I have had was when I solved a Euclidean Proposition on my own. Or S&C. .. But die fact that these two compete for the title is pathetic in itself. I want stories for my kids; how do I start living Meet Market is upon us. Tr.e Gadfly is auctioning off a "Gadfly Goodie Bag" which includes: -A pa:-ty with the staff, special Gadfly juice included -A cover of yout design/choice -A "Dodd on the Quad" article devoted to anything you wantd -A special photo shoot with Gadfly photographers (the photos, depending on ho\;.7 photogen.ic you are, just inight en.cl up berwee!l the pages of a future Gadfly!) Get excited. Make sure to save your $$$ up for d1is once-in-a-lifetime oppor. tun1ty;I Thank you, Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted VI.ill be edited for grammar, puncn1atio11., and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circurr1stances. THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 7 �{DODD ON THE QUAD} Writer's Block An article about writer's block Kirstie Dodd T he summer of 2008, The College printed an article called "A Work in Progress," a piece about Johnnies and their search to create art in the lost time between seminar readings and tutorial works. As the author of the article states, "It's no secret that all too often, the rigorous work of the Program eclipses the often extraordinary time and energy it takes to practice and perfect an art formor, God forbid, produce any new material yourself." Ever since reading this, I have pondered my own struggle to balance homework with creative production. I have no problem completing my seminar readings on time because they carry a greater "weight" in my mind and hike up my stress level more. It is the tutorial where my main conflict between art and duty occurs (e.g. "should I spend time tonight v.>riting my own poem or translating Baudelaire's?"). Sometimes I find myself grumbling at the Program for quenching the artistic flame, and nothing quenches it more than a string of frustrating/ annoying/ overly contentious classes. This week, after failing once again to comprehend the nature of wave/particle duality in electrons in senior lab, I found a cold beast set in my limbs and freeze me down to my fingers, that dreaded monster "writer's block." Now, this is no new occurrence for me. In the past, I usually stare at the divided line for an hour, run on the uneven wood track in Iglehart until I get shin splints, drink the bottomless coffee from 49 West until I leave the place with tremors, cry a little, scream into a pillow, and sneeze all over the keyboards owned by The Epoch in our shared office. I usually feel much, much better after these techniques, and I am ready to v.>rite (that is, if I haven't induced a seizure and need to be dragged off to the hospital). To pull a miracle for this article, the sad victim of this particularly corrupted strain of writer's block, I needed to pull out the Big Guns: my friend Samuel T. Coleridge. One of the most famous and harrowing cases of writer's block known to English literature, Coleridge wrote most of his good 'un's by his mid-twenties. 8 THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 What do you do when you have writer's block? "Procrastinate." - Larissa McAllister "Throw on your sneakers and sprint around a couple of times in your pajamas." - Aalin Bellinger "I keep writing." - Brendan McGivney "It's changed over the years. Now I drink a glass of wine and look at pictures online of lolcats ...you just have to distract yourself a little bit." - Anne Frazier "I mean, I generally watch videos." -Trey Kennedy "Picture literary characters in their underwear." -Gabe Luzier "Drink heavily." -Ben Hutchins "I don't get writer's block. I'm a constant source of inspiration." - Tyler McCullough "We throw around a koosh ball." - Henley Moore and Maggy Barnes, roommates "Make tea and get into my pajamas." - Thea Chimento In his later years, left high and dry by his muse, he sold out to become a literary critic and then slowly spiraled into a vicious, wretched opium addiction. Thinking of Coleridge reminded me of one of my favorite quotations of his: "Until you understand a writer's ignorance, presume yourself ignorant of his understanding." Writer's ignorance. Writer's ignorance. This got the cogs spinning-why don't I write an article about something I don't understand? I sneezed on an Epoch keyboard for good measure and started brainstonning. This was going to take some systematizing. I ended up splitting "things I don't understand" into three categories: 1. Things I will never be able to understand: the use of Comic Sans font, dark matter, Asian languages, the Mystery of Faith, and of course, the campus enigma himself, Paul Pavlock 2. Things I don't understand but probably could fake an understanding of: large swaths of Schrodinger, my childhood, finger foods, the lyrics to any garbled Bob Dylan song 3. "I write out of desperation." - James Flaim Things I neither understand, want to understand, or am capable of understanding in any philosophical sense of the word "understand": "Force it." - Jacob Greenstine compulsive soap opera followers, nudist colonies, people who don't understand British humor, and- ahem- the understanding. "I leave the state." - Everett Roberts "Wikipedia copy and paste." - Wade Atkins "Go outside and get fresh air. Try to get hyped up. Coffee... intense, like music. Usually that helps." - Tex Pasley "He doesn't do that. He plays croquet until an hour after the deadline." - Laurel Fischer, on Tex Pasley's quotation N one of these, as you can see, would make a viable topic for an article. I sat down and thought "To hell with timidity!" and, like the person who enters Seminar for the first time at 9:52 pm or the person who proudly opens a loud can of soda during the middle of a soft-talker's complicated proof in math class and leans back and says, "Ahhh," I boldly sat down and wrote the article you are currently reading. And to my delight upon discovery, the writer's block was gone. Who'd have thought it? �{ESSAY} On the Importance of Wrongness Justifying Program Anachronisms John Blechl I f our Program offers us any distinct advantage over other methods of education, it is that we are allowed to be wrong. Wrongness is not the end-goal of a liberal arts education, but it is a vital companion in the process of becoming free men. We embrace this oddity in the very heart of everything that we undertake in our four years at our blessed College; everything that we produce has the mark of the entertainment of wrongness and, thereby, the stamp of freedom. We demonstrate our comfort with being \>.rrong when we do not take written tests to display our intellectual grasp of any given material if any other means can be found. T rne, written tests are unavoidable in some cases and we submit to such customs only out of necessity. But we are of a different kind when it comes to the worth of our education; we evaluate ourselves and hold ourselves accountab le for our own education. Can parallels be made to other methods of teaching? Of course. Instead of haunting red ink, we receive an intellectual or rhetorical bashing that strikes just as smartly as any stroke of the pen. We leave certain classes feeling that we did well or poorly and, if any student were pressed to give himself a grade, he would no doubt be able to produce a fair comparison. The process of educating requires progress-reports; such is the nature of the beast. But what are our progress-reports? Are we not given them every time we step out of the classroom? Do we not feel an informal marker, at least on some level, when we discuss these Great Authors with classmates outside of class time? Do we not become impassioned with our own ideas of understanding and offer them forth to test tli.eir possible correcmess? Do we not benchmark our own progress through the Program and what it is trying to teach us? If someone asked "what is tl1e foc al point of your education?" would we not respond that "it is ourselves?" We are kno\\'11 for studying the Great Books, and therefore have a Program, but we quickly realize that our study of these books and authors is for the sake of something else. That something else, my brothers and sisters, is ourselves. We can, and often do, remrn to a prior work only to find that we can gain more out of it than the first reading because we ourselves can pull more from it; that is, we are better equipped to study the texts with each passing day. But the text.s, for all their glory, are limited at least because they are bound by a front and back cover. TI1e depths that we discover in the work.s are really the depths that we discover in ourselves, reflected back at us through the works that we read. Therefore, we do not come into this sacred place of learning thinking that we have nothing to learn. Rather, within the first few weeks of our tenure here we are exposed to the fact that we know very little. We, with a new set of eyes, continue our search for that which is m1e and real-a search that started at birth and will continue until our deaths (if not forever after). We grab onto something, whether it be an experience or a thought, and we investigate it as best we can. Most days we end up in wrongness but we are better for that. We know now what it is not, and we have gained something positive from our failure: we have grown a little. Growth, as the old saying goes, is often very painful and we as students are excellent examples of such an action. This growth stems from actively partaking in the Program. We take a stance-an action that one could never stress the importance of-and we investigate its outcomes. From this investigation we receive a result that is beneficial; whether our stance appears right or wrong yields a result of positive information that is { CON TT NU E D ON PAG E T W ELVE } THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 9 �I ' thearts {FICTION} "N'0 Surv1vors " . l Sarah Pearlman "Forget the countdmvn, it's freaking cold out here!" "Just throv,; it already!~' The taut and shining skin of a ripe hollow pumpkin fiashed ire the lamplight as it feli three stories to the tessellated brick pavement between Spector and Gilliam. The hollow, almost ·'I.vet noise echoed bervleen the tb.ree brick surfaces, accom.panied and quickly followed by a cho:::us of cheers from the gathered dozen or so, including those on the balconies and shouting from windows. The smash was more of a crush, a sort of dull pop, and a circle of orange flesh radiated from an epicenter of stringy mash. The spectators (no pun intended) chatted excitedlv about the cemise of this holidav icon before co1T1menting or: the chill and filing back into th~ir respective dorm rooms to study or watch movies. The pulpy remnants were admired a few moments more by stragglers, but soon enough the dustpan was fetched, and the moment became another story. Pumpkins are a somewhat different case, I thought to myself, running down the stairs in mv bathrobe to nick uv its pieces. Other holiday accessories ar~n't destroyed.' Chri;trnas orr,aments are gently wrapped in tissue paper and boxed into the 10 THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 attic, Easter grass and plastic eggs have their place in the cabinet, and 1:he jolly holiday flags are folded and packed away. A pumpkin is chosen on a farm or at the grocery store, selected for the robust and insistent thrust of its orange stripes, the lack of a flat dirty face hidden from display. I had hollowed out the damp orange cave, echoing wi;:h ;:he scrape.: of a spoon edge and tiny score-bought saw. I had carved the silhouette of a cat, or goblin or witch. The tea lights had 1V':inkled through the waxy portals for one night, the squirrels had left tiny teeth marks in it. Now it sails through the chill air, now it is collected in scraps on the brick path. VJ.le don't hurl turkey skeletons or chop up Christmas trees. But in early November, rhe streets are pulpy with the guts of the bygone. I thought of the fate of the unsmashed. The forgotten corpses held together Vvith shriveling strands ::if cellulose, going through wet and dry stages of decay, melting into a fuzz-covered mess with a slimy rank smell radiating from it with each gust of its dying breath. The remnants of other holidays may wilt, the plastic growing brittle or the colors fading. But none rot, none fester, none ooze, none eat themselves in quite the same way. �{POEM} {TRANSLATION} "Glogatha" "Portovenere " Chris Johns Carolyn Zelikow Written in rough imitation of an Orgallian mode (i.e. that of the Serpent Dwellers of Orgallius). Dots were lurking when I saw you, hiding behind a big Black-Blue. Poke-dots perking, as you sat, And shadows working, black and fat. Glogatha! Pretty Glogatha! your face means more to me than the Wiggle Priests of Slorton Harbor, who count all the gulls, with well-rounded skulls, Under the gaze of Queen Gumdrop the Fourth. Or the winking Breeze of the Japanese, Who strangle feral dogs for sport. "I Boink on the edge! Try to stop me if you dare!" Says a Japanese Prince, with Japanese hair. "I Boink on the edge! Makes no difference to me there!" Says a Japanese King, with a Japanese ring. But I, sweet Glogatha, sweet Dork: I'll never drain you just because. I'll wait real gentle, with a fork, and treat you like a fly-trap does. {TRANSLATION} "Martial Epigrams I.27" Adam Maraschky Hesterna tibi nocte dixeramus, Quincunces puto post decem peractos, Cenares hodie, Procille, mecum. tu factam tibi rem statim putasti et non sobria verba subnotasti exemplo nimium periculoso: miso mnamona sumpotan, Procille. Last night I had posed it to you, Having downed more than four-I reckon, If you'd dine today, Procillus, with me. You thought your plans firmly set And noted my not-sober speech With a dangerous lesson of excess: I hate a mindful drinking mate, Procillus. FROM THE LATIN La mer est de nouveau obscure. Tu comprends, c' est la demiere nui. Mais qui vais-je appelant ? Hors l' echo, je ne parle a personne, a personne. Ou s' ecroulent les roes, la mer est noire, et tonne clans sa cloche de pluie. Une chauve-souris cogne aux barreaux de l'air d'un vol comme surpris, tous ces jours sont perdus, dechires par ses ailes noires, la majeste de ces eaux trop fideles me laisse froid, puisque je ne parle toujours ni a toi, ni a rien. Qu'ils sombrent, ces 'beaux jours' ! Je pars, je continue a vieillir, peu m'importe, sur qui s' en va la mer saura claquer la porte. The sea is dark again. You understand, this is the last night. But who am I calling? Echo aside, I don't talk to anyone, to anyone. Where the rocks crumble, the sea is black, and tolls in its bell of rain. A bat beats on the bars of air like a fugitive surprised, all these days are lost, tom by his wings black, the majesty of these too faithful waters leaves me cold, since I never talk not to you, not to anything. May they sink, these 'best days'. I leave, I keep getting old, I don't care, whoever goes the sea knows how to slam the door. FROM THE FRENCH BY PHILIPPE JACOTTET {CONTEST} The Results Jerome Dausman A minor mix.up has led to the delay of this announcement for which many of you have been breathlessly waiting, to wit, the winner of the second irregularly held poetry contest. I am hap· py to announce that Mr. Campbell, a freshman from the "\.vilds of New Hampshire has been awarded top honors. Mr. Campbell has graciously allowed us to reprint his winning entry: Shoozle my noozle Snoop's inspiration Not Enuf grammah To my irritation Such lyrical words read like meditation Let the words come No time fo' hezitatin We encourage Mr. Campbell (and others) to submit more po· etry for publication in this esteemed newspaper. We hope Mr. C will enjoy his $25 worth of delicious fare at Chick & Ruth's (the first prize). THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 11 �{ATHLETES OF THE WEEK} Mr. Mowery & Ms. DeLoy {FROM PAGE EIGHT} closer to Truth. We continue the process in a community-setting to benefit not only ourselves but our peers. Our peers check and counter our well-reasoned causes with better reasoned causes, and we learn and grow. The true poison of a liberal arts education is indifference because it yields no result and therefore no benefit. Indifference is fear of being wrong; that is, to slap the hand that helps. Even if one does not have any established opinion on a particular matter, we should all take stands for everyone's benefit. Additionally, to actively stand in a place that is opposite of a personal belief is both the mark of a real desire for education and a sign of maturity because tolerance, a thing most needed in our world, can only be had by removing oneself from one's own world and placing himself in another's. From a stance-making position we gain a fuller, more complete picture of reality. This is the sign of the value of our education. In other methods of education, wrongness is strongly discouraged. Taking for granted the argument about relative and absolute answers to questions, a student studying in another university is also directly affected by his wrongness. Here we see the great sd1ism in the various methods and ours. A Johnnie takes his wrongness and believes he has gained sometl1ing positive from it; a non-Johnnie believes that his wrongness is a demonstration of his inability to be a good student. A grade-focused program must produce such results. If a non-Johnnie is \Wong enough times, he ·will be denied the very education he hopes will cure his \Vrongness. It is like a doctor turning a way a patient because they are too sick. Such a thought should sicken us, but such a thing actually happens. What of the "correct answers" that non-Johnnies give? True, Columbus did sail the ocean blue in 1492, and Austin is the capital of the great state of Texas, but tl1ese questions are not under examination here. Rather, the questions that are based on interpretation, on theories taken as law, on opinion taken 12 THE GADFLY, NOVEMBER 2009 as fact, are what we, as Johnnies, find bothersome. If one was to take a course where the primary reading material is tl1e professor's own book (a trend happening more and more in universities), the test will be based on that professor's opinions on the given subject, not on the subject itself. "But," we would say to our friends that go to other colleges, "I did not wish to take a class on Professor Such-and-Such, but ratl1er on subject X." NonJohnnies run the frightening risk of forgetting that what they learn from such classes is only opinion and not truth; instead, they re-enter tl1e world believing that because this answer was the "correct answer" on Professor's Such-and-Such's test, it is the actual answer. \Xlhen one believes that one has found tl1e "correct answer" one naturally, unless educated otherwise, ceases to search further. Therefore, when one shuns \Vrongness as a vile thing to be avoided like illness, one ceases to search for the answers (becoming stagnant and harmful to oneself), and one goes through the world professing a belief as fact. Any active mind can see through such mistakes; any true philosopher will be appalled by tl1ose attempts. One could argue against us that our method yields no practicality; a witty non-Johnnie could quote the story of Thales falling down the well. But if one wishes to take a utilitarian view of things, the only possible thing Johnnies lack is experience, not ability. If anything, Johnnies are thinkers and think before they act (hopefully). Our authors are the great innovators and inventers, \vi.th or without needed experience. We cannot say all innovation comes from educated men-we are not that foolish-but we realize that the vast majority of innovation, i.e. practical innovation, was produced by philosophers. Men neither simply act nor simply think; they are always doing both collectively. The great men and women that we read botl1 acted and thought ·with great precision; tl1ey were both practical and speculative about whatever they were investigating. If we are exposed to their example -and what other way can we gain any kind of exposure than by reading their own words and thoughts and then mimicking their actions?-then do we not place ourselves in a prime position to innovate today's world for a better tomorrow? If such a thing is not "practical," then we should ask for a more precise definition. All of this innovation, growth, and education comes first from embracing wrongness. We study Ptolemy knowing that his theory is wrong but finding out that his mathematics is sound; we read Descartes ideas on the conservation of energy knowing tl1at there is such a thing as Newtonian Physics that is the accepted metl1od today in practically every macro-atomic instance of physics. We find that wrongness, as Johnnies see it, can only be found in our exposure to theories; mathematics cannot be wrong-we do not at any point disprove a prior proposition-and our study of language must be taken as is because we understand that the present form of the language (if it exists) does not disprove the language at a prior point in time. Wrongness, tl1en, is our advantage. It is what makes us free men and women because it is in our wrongness that we strive to be closer to Truth and search in ourselves for the answers to life's questions. Wrongness allows us to take a stance and tl1en take the opposite stance, defending each as passionately and reasonably as we are able; v.Tongness expands our concept of reality, builds and calls for tolerance, ushers forth innovation and personal growth (education). If armed with no otl1er reason to defend our Program, would this advantage not be enough to open the eyes of everyone and set them on a better path towards Truth?~ l � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 11 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-11 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Issue 11 of The Gadfly. Published November 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.11 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/babfaa76696bdfde187d843fa4db515e.pdf 8f32a3e89b4672ef2676b01ccc51c8bf PDF Text Text �L E T T E R S beauty of it! Now that you can't talk about the Jersey Shore with someone (unless contrasting it to The Bacchae), you can finally free your soul to speak only of the mathematical and the beautiful, and let it flow forth like a graceful, winged chariot. Of course the tutor will then take your winged soul, condense it, replenish himself by injecting it like a hot shot into his philosophy gland, and tell you everything that was wrong with it. He does this not for your sake but because he is an addict and wishes to have the purest cut of dialectical dope possible. Let's stop being so selfish, Mr. Trotter. Tutors aren't gods keeping tallies of truthbomb droppings; they're addicts, hopeless addicts, who want to get us hooked on the junk also. Like most people with dependency issues, they claim we're all addicted to something, but tutors claim they've got the best high. I don't know if that's true, but next time I'm having coffee with a tutor, I intend not to be a square, inhale deeply, and see if I get hooked. Stop bein' such a narc, Dawg! - Michael Lacy (see on next page, right, w/ guyliner) TO MR. TROTTER: After I read your lengthy article in the last Gadfly on the topic of taking tutors out to lunch, I was struck with indecision: should I sneak down to Sophrosyne Hall in the dead of night and smother you, or just crash through the glass door of the Gadfly Office and unabashedly kick your ass. It wasn't your whining that angered me-or at least it wasn't only your whining. The fact that you took up an entire spread with your whining really rubbed my fur in the wrong direction. You seem very concerned with making sure tutors like you, but are you unaware they read The Gadfly? Tutors read those bizarre asides formatted with asterisks, which no one else could have submitted except the Gadfly's Design Editor (though I'm sure the South Pacific Monthly does it all the time!); and they know the truth about you, Treenan Kotter! There's only one person you want to take out to lunch, and that's Keenan Trotter. (BTdubs, according to my word processor, "Keenan" is not even a real name.) **I, myself, don't take tutors out that often, but when I do it is usually to coffee. When we 2 THE GADFLY, DECEMBER 2009 go to lunch, I get nervous and inevitably spill brisket on my pants, even if they're serving chicken nuggets.** Taking tutors to lunch is not about making them like you. It's about providing tutors with nutritious dialectic life-blood. Seriously, most tutors struggle with a gripping addiction to oral philosophy. St. John's discussion-based program was actually made to provide for academics with such dependencies. The school is more like the "vampire rave" in the movie Blade than a real college. Tutors physically need those dining hall chats lest they pounce upon community members or family for convoluted conversations on Oedipus Rex. In 1997, the dining hall stopped providing free lunch for tutors and students, and the extracurricular chats between them decreased three fold- while tutor divorce doubled! By not taking your tutors out to lunch, you are destroying lives, Mr. Trot· ter. Do you not see? These thoughts and fears in your head do not exist outside of it! You say you do not know what to talk about with tutors, that you are constrained by the program. That's the Let me start off by saying the obvious: being a person is hard. Really, really, hard. We try to address that by informing our lives using observations about lives of every and anyone we've ever met. Not only are the lives we observe different from our own, but we have considerably less time to understand the former than we do the latter. We can observe over 2,000 different, unique people in our lives, in the space of about 80 years. Eighty. And we do our damnedest to try and understand the small glimpse we get of them. That's insane. The Program enables (excuse the pun) us to do this better. We are confronted with serious, tragic, and great lives, and we take what insight there is to be gleaned from them. Frantically, in our short time in existence, we have to make sense of it all (even if we conclude the world is nonsense). So we dash around, hit our heads together in Seminar, grasping at any handhold, any mere scaffolding to hoist ourselves up toward knowledge with. And- here's my favorite part- it's fun. The next time you're dozing off, daydreaming, or "just being," remember that time is short. We're given four years TO THE POLITY: �Wood is Like Euclid Fighting Heraclitus by Katie Kolodzie H ope fully, most of you saw the production of Twelfth Night that rocked FSK this weekend. And hopefully, a few of you tore your eyes away from the hilarious acting antics to think something like, "Damn, that's a huge platform. It's so beautifully stable. And those spiral stairs are something else. Where on Earth did they come from?" I'll tell you: three kids with one drill and one beautiful Japanese pull saw (KWP has little in the way of tools or budget to buy them) putting in absurd man hours backstage. Domenic Bauer, Andrew Mize and I managed to build that massive thing without anything more advanced than a ruler, a tape measure, a T square and those tools I mentioned. (We did also use the woodshop, but often its times didn't match up with ours.) It was a lot like Euclid. We had to make straight lines of various lengths, join them in the correct manner, and even got up to making squares, rectangles and cubes. I hadn't realized how very much carpentry, especially carpentry based on hand tools, is done in the same way as geometry. All you start with is the tools for making straight lines, and everything else is based on those lines. The circular steps of the staircase were constructed by taking the radiuses that we needed. And those triangular braces? Direct from 1.47. We had to make sure the angles were all correct, and that everything was in the correct 1: 1 ratio. The relations and shapes we drew on paper should have come out making a perfect platform, because we did the geometry. We knew how everything fit together. But this is where Heracleitus came in fightin'. Do you know how hard it is to cut something square out of wood? It's IMPOSSIBLE. Or constructing an absolutely level platform? Can't be done: any number of things get in the way, and you can't hold all of them still. Our saw was great but not perfect. And we, with our shifting, tiring human muscles, couldn't cut all the lines straight, no matter how hard we tried. There's something about humans that makes us incapable of forming an absolutely straight line in anything, whether it's paper, wood, or chalkboard. And the wood itself defies any kind of geometric rigidity. It's alive. It breathes, and it flows. The 2 by 4s that I had measured to be the same length a day ago had warped because they weren't the same. The density, grain and consistency of the wood is different, and as soon as they're exposed to humidity they expand or contract in different ways. Heraclitus, or more accurately, the world's irregularity that he described so well, was having its way with our meticulous construct. Building that platform, struggling to make everything perfectly straight and even, was like witnessing Euclid and Heraclitus duking it out. In a way, Heraclitus won. The platfonn wasn't quite square: not all of its legs rested on the ground, and we had to scrap some numbers and just cut wood to the length that was required. Surprisingly, though, this wasn't the end of our construction. We live in this system of not-quite-perfection, and though we often find it frustrating, I'm convinced that most of us wouldn't want to live in a world where Heraclitus couldn't thumb his nose at Euclid's perfect triangles. By being careful, we can work around perfection. The stairs and the platform were more than steady enough for all the running and rolling that happened on them. Showers and Fear by Blake Myers I used to equate contact with water with being clean. Not too far off the mark. But hey, I was six, or nine, or eleven; and we often miss things that are too close to us, like where the thing in our hand is, THE GADFLY , DECEMBER 2009 3 �what we are doing when struck by some violent emotion, and the way we smell sometimes. "I just walked in from the rain." "The rain is water." "I must be clean." But no, no you are not. You smell worse, your wet mop like a wet dog. One looks at their hands after a passionate, evil deed: "What have I done?" The look accuses the hands, the lips accuse the I. I might excuse myself for the execution on the basis that my mind was on lunch and had no opportunity to veto or approve the measure before it was enacted. But we do not trust the mind at this juncture, no. It has its standing orders of habit; it signs documents with out reading them sometimes. And when passion has a gun ... the hands were only following orders. When we look at them we look at our tools, and ask how we let them make ugly when we only tried to make pretty, or better, or what not. Apparently more men than women are afraid of heights. If men are anything like I am, I know why. There is a sense up there that I just may be rash and stupid enough to jump, for no real reason- accidentally. About halfway down comes the realization, and then it is too late. We remember times in which we did similar things. So we think about this before hand, and it keeps us away from ledges. But maybe we should jump off some small ones sometimes. Things become too routine too quickly. Though routine has its benefits, it's boring, and it seems to take with it a great deal of life. Bathing comes to mind. When I was terribly young, it happened in a sink; but that's before I was really aware of anything. All of the sudden, I'm in a bathtub (with one or two brothers for the sake of efficiency). This bathtub is in my parent's house, my aunt's house, or my grandmothers, but it only has Jacuzzi jets at my parent's. There are cups with which we observe fluid dynamics, bubbles for beards, and boats for reenacting fictitious naval battles. Then, I'm alone. The tub is smaller. . My knees bend, and everything is a lot less fun. But I'm comfortable. The water is warm and still and predictable. The bubbles are still here sometimes, and I can think about things. Maybe I'll read a book? I was terrified of showers. There was always something menacing about them. The fluctuating temperatures coupled with my mystic understanding of how the mechanism actually worked led me to believe that at any moment hot lava could possibly spit out of the nozzle at an unmerciful rate directly onto my all but unprotected naked body while I was trapped in a glass box. I got over that eventually, but the post magma-phobic showers are significantly less memorable. But that seems to be an attribute of memory. Even concerning the lava shower period of my life, all a can recall is that I was afraid and that I was afraid on multiple occasions. Showers take up a portion of almost every day of my life- five to ten minutes per. And yet all of those five to ten summed up only equal about five to ten. They almost all condense into a single event. This seems to me to shorten life considerably. It accounts for that strange acceleration. Same as it ever was. {LISTI CLE} JP S ER: TEN REASONS BEING A REFEREE IS ANAWESOME JOB 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. You are never right. You are always right, even if you know you weren't. There is a surprising amount of running required. People expect you to pay attention to what is going on in the game. You have jackasses, like Paul Thompson, who yell at you all the time. Players, who don't understand the game, don't understand why what they did was >vrong. 7. When refereeing women, one is often reminded of Baudelaire's' poem "The Albatross." 8. No one ever cheers for you, except for Dan Connelly but that comes ·with its own problems. 9. The pay is never enough. 10. Leo Pickens always gets the best ref positions. 4 THE GADFLY, DECEMBER 2009 Free Throws Are Not Free by Blee Barks (pseud.) I s there anyone in America who has escaped the childhood heartache of inadvertently killing a pet goldfish? Whether by over-feeding, failure to change the water, or general neglect, we've all experienced that shocking moment of discovery, seeing our new charge gone belly up . I don't blame the child-self. Our society has condoned the cavalier treatment of goldfish for decades, relegating this beautiful but defenseless creature to the same low status as ersatz life forms such as sea monkeys, clay pigeons and dick cheneys. The goldfish, too easily obtained at no real cost to the child, is undervalued as a living thing. And so its inevitable demise, while grotesque and momentarily jarring, produces no lasting human behavior change. The deceased is forgotten the moment it descends to its swirly grave; flushed from our presence and conscience simultaneously. Sim ilarly, such is the status of the humble free throw in the glorious game of basketball. The typical player, lacking the patience to practice the free throw, gives perfunctory attention to the shot, hoisting two or three (on a good day, maybe ten) before moving on to the more seductive 3-point shot or the flashy cross-over dribble. The free throw, undervalued, too easily obtained, is allowed to flounder in its unchanged bowl of stagnant water until the jarring moment arrives in a game. All eyes are on the player as he stands at the free throw line of truth. Mr. Pickens, \.Vith his sad, imploring eyes, hands over the ball. Suddenly the player is in an altered state of consciousness. Sharp but ephemeral pangs of regret about practice neglect shiver down the spine. A desire to avoid peer ridicule arises in the loins, quickly followed by actual ridicule once the shot has gone belly up . And yet it is the universality of the experience, the commonplaceness of the missed free throw that allows the human psyche to passively accept the damage caused: the games unwon, the challenges unmet, the girls unimpressed, with no change in practice behavior. Dead goldfish and missed free throws; as irrationally tolerated as the hangover. This phenomenon was on display in all its woefulness during the Holiday Tour- �nament when the Hustlers contested the reigning champion Spartans. The details hardly matter; how many ways can you describe a goldfish doing a back float? The normally brave and determined Hustler strongman tasted the little death of free throw inaccuracyWhen it was over the Spartans were the victors and the fallen Hustler warriors were left to ponder the mortality they share with the goldfish as they slipped mournfully and showerlessl into the dark December night. Ask Anyone {LISTI CLE} JPS ER: TEN REASONS BEING A REFEREE IS A TERRIBLE JOB 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. You are always right. You are always right. You get to have a whistle. You get to hand out technicals and yellow cards like candy. Some people actually appreciate the hard work you put into the game. You can make up rules because a lot of the players don't understand the game. You get to referee women. Refereeing requires paying close attention ... \Xlhen someone cheers for you, even if it is Dan Connelly, it is effing sweet. You get paid for something you'd probably watch anyV\'ays. You get to work with Leo Pickens. by Carolyn Zelikow market, they do not develop ontologies, but pleas. One may mitigate this vulnerable position by becoming a buyer or by Dear Expert, Why is it guys like Being, and girls talk refusing to participate. And perhaps that's about nothing? (An actual question.) ontology for some awkward young men, - Achety Swan just like Pink Floyd and televized sports. Boring people of both genders have their grottos of insipid self-conLittle Bird, gratulation. Vittoria, the white devil Shall I expound whore to you? sure, I shall; of the title, develops a more I'll give their perfect character. They are worse, Worse than dead bodies which are begged at gallows, sophisticated defense system: she lies and lies. In a And wrought upon by surgeons, to teach man nest of deep deceivers, she Wherein he is imperfect. is the most impenetrable. Even the damndest of her I've omitted the maybe fifty lines of countrymen have a few unguarded lines; this characterization, drawn from John Vittoria has none. She's aware of her Webster's The White Devil. Cardinal Mon- hardness, this perfect extemality. Here ticelso, later Pope Sixtus V, is prosecut- she phrases it, in response to the prosecuing Vittoria Corombona for murder and tion above: adultery. She is guilty on both counts, though For know, that all your strict-combined heads, probably not in today's Which strike against this mine of diamonds, courts. The image above Shall prove but glass hammers, - they shall break. has woman as a corpse, Know this and let it somewhat raise your spite, executed, auctioned, Through darkness diamonds spread their richest light. dissected by men, all in public, for man's edification. This sort of objectification (and vilIn this most justly famous trial scene, lification, of course) commands the Car- Vittoria defends not her innocence- a dinal's other prosecutorial images, as well. less than worthless quality in Webster's A body \Vithout inner life does not world- but her nobility. She won't crack, have philosophy. The whore is split open won't "call up one poor tear to fawn on and scrutinized for the ravages of vice. your injustice." Instead of revealing anyWhatever 'character' the surgeon discov- thing about herself, she induces her at· ers, does not know itself. Prodigality does tackers to splay their own viciousness. not only descend on frisky ladies, how- She insists her charges be made plain and ever. As Pandarus remarks at the close of public: no Latin, no legalese, no vague Shakespeare's Troilus and Cressida, we are slurs. \Xlhat's a whore? she demands. By all "brethren and sisters of the hold-door wrenching clarity from her persecutors, trade"- all whores and pimps, friends, sell- they reveal their criminality. As Vittoria ing appearances for a gasp of life. observes, "For your names of whore and As long as people are just bodies on the murdress, they proceed from you, as if a man should spit against the wind; the spit returns in's face." The point I'm getting at here, Little Bird, is not limited to the baldly rapacious world of this play. The girls I know who seriously study metaphysics are better than the guys, and more numerous. This despite the fact that they indulge every sort of nauseating self-absorbtion from their boyfriends/ spouses. Women have more vital concerns than ontology, even in this gentle age, and slimmer means to achieve prosperity. A woman's tongue's not free, but busy wooing and avenging. From the same scene, Vittoria: "O woman's poor revenge, which dwells but in the tongue!" THE GADFLY, DECEMBER 2009 5 �{INTERVIEW} in New York so that I could get connec· tions with people in the business. Then, St. John's sent me a copy of the Meno, and I read it, and I liked it. So, after a week of New York auditions I came and prospied here. Not only were the classes amazing, and the campus amazing, but it him because then she'd have to fess up to was really nice to be in a community of really being a girl. So, I guess the moral people who really cared about learning, of the story is, if you ever wanna really be and not competitively. I went to an arts in love, you shouldn't lie to yourself or high school, so I had never really encounothers. You shouldn't invent a person to tered a place where people valued academ· be in love with, you should just sit tight ics like I valued academics. Prospy-ing felt and wait for someone to come along. As like I found something I had forgotten for your logic and love question, yeah, I about for a really long time, and that I rethink it's weird. I think it's really weird. ally cared about. Still, giving up on an actIt leads me to wonder that, if love is this ing education was incredibly difficult. It controllable, why do we need a play about was a little bit like abandoning a limb. St. it? Doesn't it seem like the whole thing John's is an amazing place, but it doesn't could be resolved by all of the characters exactly foster artistic expression. Having just saying to themselves, "Yeah, but this seminar so late prevents students from belove thing is just stupid anyway." But, if ing involved in theatre outside of school that were true, we'd never reach the end- and theatre in school is great because it ing. Shakespearean comedy's wouldn't ex- gives the students a lot of freedom, but it's ist because nobody would get married in also a tiny community, so not only does the end and the sense of incompleteness not everyone get in, but when you do, you you would feel at this alternate ending, I work with similar people and do similar think, is a human quality, too. I think things nearly every time, which doesn't althat there's something in us that wants to low for a ton of growth. see people both feel and reciprocate love. So while you're right, in that you can logic Whenever I go to a performance (especially a yourself out of love, if you do, you might Shakespeare one) I get the feeling I'm listening to another language. It's not incoherent, never reach a satisfying ending. Tessa Nelson, Director of Twel'fth Night What's at stake on stage? Questions by Keenan Trotter I saw Tessa Nelson spreading apple butter on a bagel in the dining hall, so I asked her if I could email her a few questions and pretend it was an extemporaneous interview. She agreed. I confess I don't really understand theater-how do you begin to appreciate it? Maybe just going to see a lot of it. I've always seen a lot of shows. I remember seeing The Frog Prince when I was really, really young and almost dying of hysterical laughter. Because of that, because I en· joyed that show so much, I went to more and more and eventually I saw a show that really moved me, touched my soul and stuff. A lot of people don't like theatre because it has a tendency of being a night of sitting in a dark room watching people make faces or woodenly deliver lines, but if you watch enough, you might be lucky enough to see something good, and when you see something good, it's like seeing the things you love to read coming to life. Several times in my life I've managed to reason myself out of love, either because it was necessary for my happiness or because it, the love, felt pointless and futile. What does Twelfth Night say about love that you find important or meaningful? Further, is it weird that humans can logic themselves out of love? In Twelfth Night the lovers are in love with a lie and the liars are in love, which is why nothing works out for such a long time. The Duke Orsino creates this really complex image of what his love should be, and he calls that thing the Lady Olivia, even though she isn't, even though she really doesn't love him and it seems like reciprocation should be an integral part of any kind of true love. Similarly with Olivia, she's in love with Cesario (who, for those of you who didn't see the play {ya jerks} is actually a girl in disguise) who could never return that love, which leads Olivia to tell Cesario "I would you were as I would have you be" to which Cesario responds "Would it be better, Madam, than I am?." Viola, on the other hand, is truly in love with Orsino, but she can never, ever tell 6 THE GADFLY, DECEMBER 2009 Somewhere I read that theater is the best way people can confront each other about what being a human being. Do you agree with that? What about, say, fiction? I think that both have their benefits. I think fiction might appeal to the more rational part of us, in that you can hear peoples thoughts, and understand them in that way. When you see a play, though, you see people sweating and crying and I think it appeals to your emotional sensibilities. I think there's cross-over, of course. you can feel for fictional charac· ters and think through why a character is doing something on stage, but I think it's more common to feel cathartic after watching a play than reading a novel. You got into, and were going to attend, luilliard, fo New York, but you came here instead. Why here and not there? Was it an easy choice? It was not. I finished, like, a million college credits in high school so that I wouldn't have to take any "real" classes when I went to conservatory. I also decided to only audition for conservatories but everyone seems to be yelling, using weird cadences, etc. And, pretty soon, I'm thinking about something else on my mind. How do you even begin to crack open theater? What's at stake? The easiest answer to this question is that you've never seen Shakespeare done well. In a perfect universe, listening to Shake· speare would be like listening to normal speaking, only prettier. This, however, is almost never the case. Shakespeare is hard to access. I, still, at the bitter end of this production, have no idea what is being said sometimes. To fix this, I am a firm believer in "Suiting the action to the word, and the word to the action" which is Hamlet's advice to the players. If you suit the action to the word and the word to the action, you not only make yourself understand what you're saying better, but it illustrates this knowledge to the audi· ence. I think that there's a lot at stake in this. If your audience doesn't listen to what you're saying, the play loses all ef· ficacy. If you gesture too wildly, the audience doesn't believe you, and the play loses all efficacy. Thus, acting is an art, and a tough one at that. �that some newspapers use. Exhibit C: The great "Newspaper or Magazine?" debate of October '09, in which the (megalomaniacal) design editor A Year in Review took (unilateral) action to streamline the by Kirstie Dodd rag and create a series of what he called "collectible covers." The wax wings (somehe article I was fixin' to print this most volatile substances known to man in what) melted when said design editor realweek was rejected in a random a frightening cocktail: one part Johnnie, ized there isn't enough money nor writing sample survey because it "reeked of one part journalism, served over ice. It caliber to turn the paper into The New suburban class guilt," was "utterly repuls- might have been the overbearing fluores- Yorker. Sometimes I suspect he's still trying," and "made the ... [author] ... appear to cence of the Gadfly office or lack of win- ing, the churl. be either an embittered animal-hater (if dows that generated all of this semester's Exhibit D: That time we all thought we are to take [her story] about the Hare drama, or it might have been the pressure our business/distribution manager was a Krishna she met in D.C. as fact) or a de- of working under a rigid deadline. I also werewolf. lusional, narcissistic sociopath, we cannot have been told the "strong opinions and Exhibit E: The ongoing bitter struggle decide which." An anonymous test sub- fragile nature of the staffs mental and with the Epoch staff. They take rude picject said "[anyone] who reads this tripe... emotional resilience" contributed to a tures on our computer and leave them on will want a restraining order against the large part of our snafus. the screen's background, and we use their author immediately." This, of course, was But what could possibly be dramatic printer ink and eat their food. It's been a quite a blow. I had tended and nurtured about working on a newspaper with the pleasant armistice for a while now, but I'm the piece long enough to consider it my same distribution numbers as my mom's still keeping open the possibility of a duel Symphony No. 9, the crown jewel of my annual Christmas update letter, you ask? in the mists of dawn on front campus if column's collection, the perfection of Exhibit A: The typical Gadfly meeting is Zach F. Biggy tries to pull a fast one. mashing minutia and myself with weak 5% a discussion of content for the upcomDespite the turbulent ride, we still maning issue, 20% kicking around outlandish age to scrape out an issue every week. MiProgram references. Not one to not pander, I immediately ideas (I'm still pissed The Gadfly "coozie raculous, methinks. All I can say about pulled the article and replaced it with a fundraiser" idea got shot down), and 75% this is: Santa bless group hugs! If you want less grotesque, less racy fallback piece- a prying into personal details of each oth- to get in on this hugging action or work kind of pre-holiday "State of the Union" er's lives. for The Gadfly in any capacity, send an article about the progression of The Gadfly Exhibit B: What we now refer to as email to gadfly@sjca.edu with a full length this semester. "The Spector Incident," codename "Lol- picture of you in a bathing suit, or simply Let's start with a brief trip down mem- lipop Lane." I won't get into the details, show up at 7 p.m. Friday evenings in the ory lane. On April 1st, 2009, The Gad- but the staff spent a few weeks ironing out lower level of the BBC if you can detect a fly, following the likes of Willy Wonka's some rather uncomfortable wrinkles. We joke/shameless advertising plug. Chocolate Factory, officially closed its learned some lessons about libel and not Now, time to get my winter break seddoors to the world ... forever. But this for- biting the hand that feeds and this crazy entary on ... ever would not be the forever we usually journalism practice called "fact checking" think of when we hear the word forever. campus. This year 145 students and 11 Just as Willy Wonka sent out five golden {FROM PAGE TWO} tickets to teach a moralistic, cloying lesfaculty and staff members participated, son about trust and find the love he was skipping 295 meals and donating $747 in cash, in addition to the meal plan money. missing in his life (God knows the oompa to introduce ourselves to a fraction of The number of meals skipped is down loompas weren't providing much!), so what it is to be a person. Embrace, don't about 23% from last year, which is n ot The Gadfly sent out five golden-okay, the waste, it. surprising: we are not exempt from the analogy between Willy Wonka and The -Logan Dwyer, in response to Mr. hard times that have affected the rest of Gadfly kind of broke down after the first Simon's article in Issue 12 the world. Still, we can be proud that so sentence of this paragraph, but you get large a proportion of our student populathe idea. Slugworth and Wonka shared a TO THE POLITY: We would like to tion participated, compared to the many private laugh. The Gadfly revived. take this opportunity to wholeheartother colleges and universities at which The first meeting was packed with edly endorse the views expressed by Mr. Oxfam fasts are held. Exact figures are people. The second meeting was less Torrey in his sublime and magnificent not yet available, but the total sum raised packed, but still had enough density to be piece. Further information on the views for Oxfam America will be well in excess described as "well-attended." At the third expressed can be found in the source text of $1000. Special thanks should go to meeting, there were five or six people, and on the s~bject, Starship Troopers. Bronte Jones, Carole Clark, and the staff I'm pretty sure two of them didn't even - Johnnie Rico at the Treasurer's Office; to Roosevelt go to St. John's. But no matter! We had a Langley and the staff at Parkhurst; to the staff, and we were ready to get the presses TO THE POLITY: I want to thank everyPrint Shop; and to Thea Chimento and rolling. one who participated in the Oxfam Fast John Welsh, who volunteered their time. I'm sure it all sounds like a perfect, for a World Harvest this past month. pastel little fairy tale right now. But lest This is the nineteenth consecutive year -Jonathan Tuck we forget, we have just mixed two of the the fast has been held at the Annapolis {DODD ON THE QUAD} Keeping Up with The Gadfl.y T THE GADFLY, DECEMBER 2009 7 �F THE GADFLY 60 College Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 Un.iced Stal:es of ~America Editor-in-Chief Kirstie Dodd l•miar Editor Elllabeth Spagnol<tti D~sign Editor J. Keenan Trotti:-r Bi.isiness Manager Marin Skokan.die Gmphic Artist Noah Lit\.'in C.ontrihurors Blee Barks Logan Dwyer Katie Kolod>ie Michadl.acy Blake~frers JPSnyd.;,, Jonathan Tuck Carolyn Zelikow ounded in 1980, TI1e Gadfly is the o'tlldent weekly diotributed to over 600 students, fac· ulty, and staff of the Annapolis campus. Opin· ions expressed within are the sole responsibility of the author(s). TI1e Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the moo"t professional, infonnative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circum.>"tances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctua· tion, and spelling in most cases. TI1e Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circumstances. TI1e Gadfly meets e\"ery Friday at 7 PM in the lower level of the Barr-Buchanan Center. All arricles are due at 11:59 PM every Friday. Errors printed herein are, mostly, uninten· tional. Usually, typos, misspellings, and general falsehoods are the product of the human m·er· sight, as opposed to malice. 8 THE GADFLY, DECEMBER 2009 {JOCKS o' THE WEEK} Ms. Dirkse, Ms. Moran & Mr. Schintzius Great job, guys. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXI, Issue 12 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2009-12 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXI, Issue 12 of The Gadfly. Published December 2009. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 31.12 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/ae920efce6f4315c78631db7b40d0c78.pdf d6890e7f9317c1d3264502e5cf27e1fe PDF Text Text publication! I mean, really, who is Jerome Dausman! Furthermore, before things get completely out of hand, please do something one way or the other with those over-sized I's and J's adorning the columns ofMesdemoiselies Dodd and Gold. If these monstrous graphemes don't actually replace the sensibly-sized first letter of their corresponding articles, at least illuminate them so the reader isn't so violently confronted with colossal characters Sans Serif. Add leaves and stuff. PAVLOS PAPADOPOULOS CL<\SS OF 2018 In GADFLY #15 I was excited to read in the December 28th edition of The Capital that St John's would be receiving a $1. 7 million grant from the Hodson Trust, but I was shortly disappointed to learn that $1.2 million of that money, "will go toward constructing an administrative office building." Certainly staff and faculty office conditions on campus are cramped, but if the administration doesn't stabilize n1ition, it will easily be able to expand offices into what will become deserted donnitories. The Program will continue to attract applicants, but fewer and fewer will choose to shoulder the heavy financial burden placed on the many Johnnies who, even with some amount of financial assistance, will graduate from St John's over $50,000 in debt in a poor job market where a graduate degree (and the accompanying further debt) is becorn.ing a necessity. Unless the Hodson Trust specifically required the money to go towards construction, the polity should call upon the administration to rethink their decision to build a new building, make their priorities clear, and put the money where it needs to go: scholarships and tuition stabilization. RACHEL BARTGIS, CLASS OF 2009 STIJDENT LOAN P AYMENTS: $671.05/MONTH the Theatetus, Socrates is referred to as "'atorcwtm:oc;" which loosely translated means, "out of potatoes." This peculiar Ancient Greek expression is derived from a children's game in which potatoes were thrown at a hole in the ground. Whoever "harped," or"· agrcay~," the most potatoes in the hole would get to take all the other players' potatoes. "acpgo6Lm~68Qoc; , " as it was called, is the origin of the modern game of marbles, which coincidentally furnishes the similar expression of "losing one's marbles." PAUL MORRILL I am a female. My looks are fairly average. I had hoped, upon arrival at St. John's, that I would meet a new breed of man, one that was intelligent enough to have respect for me as a person, rather than as a desirable acquisition. Clearly, I was mistaken. My apologies to you all. A JOHNNIE The committee has considered your proposal of January 19th that direction: the most recent Gadfly [excluding the Johnsfly] included the class year, faculty status, or professional title of the each correspondent published in The Mailbox. Perhaps it's a bit too much to ask for this next issue, but could we hope to see such fonnality extended throughout the you are 'deeper than [we] think [you] to be.' After a careful consideration of the arguments contained in your letter, and the evidence of your personal character as displayed therein, we find ourselves unconvinced. All the best, THE FAIRER SEX Imagine my disappointment when I picked up your last issue only to be confronted with articles reminiscent of that disgusting rag knovm as Cosmopolitan. As The Gadfly is a publication issued for the enjoyment of an entire college community, perhaps more care should be taken to publish articles that tutors, faculty, and students are all likely to enjoy reading. And let's not forget that what happens in the bedroom should stay there. MURA MACKEY CLASS OF 2011 We are sorry The Gadfly did not suit your particular needs last week. It's not really up to us to make sure all of the submissions are P.C.; the Polity gives what the Polity gives. Maybe you should spend more time encouraging your peers to send in the kind of witty, informative, uplifting articles you would like instead of v.'riting letters to us about something we cannot have much control over. We would rather have an 8 page Gadfly with "racy" material than a 2 page Gadfly that exposes that our polity has nothing to talk about- which, of course, would be a horrendous lie. That being said, we want you to know we are making conscientious efforts to address your concern. Though we are sad we had to pull the 4 page spread of Heidi Montag plastic surgery photos, we will try to fill it with something that titillates and informs you. Yours for provoking disappointed emails , THE GADFLY �THE WRITER'S RESPONSIBILITY BY EMILY SEBELL, CLASS OF 2012 I work in the bookstore and frequently come across books I find harmful. I don't think that many contemporary writers put much thought into the messages that they are sending to the public. Due to this I think that writer s have a great responsibility for what they are getting published. I am not trying to exempt the reader from thinking about what they're reading, but simply putting words on a page does not make you a writer. Barnes & Nobles is cluttered with selfhelp books, autobiographies, and the Twilight series. How can one self-help book written by a PhD no-namer be better than reading Nichomachean Ethics and thinking for yourself? Reasoning through problems for yourself is more likely to produce a habit change because the process is internalized. Solutions cannot be procured from a howto. How can people be expected to think for themselves when solutions are ostensibly handed to them? The only thing more senseless than the aforesaid example is a book that feigns thought under the name of the Great Books. I came across a book called Beowulf On The Beach: What To Love and What To Skip in Lit· erature's 50 Greatest Hits. This book condenses many of the books on our program into three pages or less. Each book is divided into six parts under the headings The Buzz, What People Don't Know (But Should), Best Line, What's Sexy, Quirky Facts, and my personal favorite: What To Skip. The author states that his book is the best alternative to reading the original text. The preface says everyone can read the Great Books and more importantly, "as long as the so-called great books stay locked in the ivory tower, people don't see how gripping and meaningful they can be, and their kaleidoscopic glories get squandered." I have two questions. One: Isn't it a contradiction to wish to share the Great Books with the masses but only offering the diluted and censored versions? Doesn't this imply that the "so-called great books" are not for the masses? Two: The author asserts that he wants to share the Great Books with us, but instead provides only his interpretations. Thus he 2 THE GADflY , JAN UARY 2010 seems to think that he transcends the great books and the great thoughts of the past. Why read Homer, Plato, Kant, etc. if we have his interpretations? Please don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that all contemporary authors are bad. All I am saying is the books that we've dedicated our education to are put on the back burner, and therefore, the minds of the readers are led astray. MOTIVATION BY JOHN BLECHL, CLASS OF 2010 The problem with self-motivation is that you have no control over it. It either comes or it does not. Usually, we are motivated by external factors, and even then I hardly would call their force upon us "motivation," but rather "compelling" or "commanding" in which we must eventually submit or suffer its consequences. My friends, many of us are experiencing this phenomenon in a very pointed way. While it would be easy to focus mainly and primarily on a common and currently fashionable thread in our blessed School, I would rather like to take this opportunity to include all those who have been excluded from the batting eyelids of deceptive leisure. Where do we draw our lines in the sand? Will it be here, or over there somewhere? What is compulsion, what is habit, what is motivation, what is avoidance? Must we get out of bed or do we choose to do so? Is this even the correct question to ask? Our Program, my dear friends, is compulsory only after we voluntarily choose it; there are requirements and restrictions, but within these boundaries and limits we are free to move about and create as we please. Each reading, each class, each paper, each discussion is a waltz between two things that cannot stand one another and yet rely on each other; that is, all that we do here, even our leisurely activities, are both of our doing and the doings of others. We relax because we have to, we work because we want to; often we get to choose between which duty we will fulfill first. Sometimes, we do not get this luxury. If we take a moment and attempt to hear the inner-workings of our own engines, we will find that even in our peaceful moment we are hard at work. Looking beyond our little machines, we find that our fuel is overly abundant and varied, though always affective. The liquor we believe we have ingested to digest is simply another morsel for the grinding of our gears. We are suddenly right where we belong, for suddenly we belong right where we are. Take heart, my brothers and sisters, my Tutors and friends. The mountain in the distance has always been there, and in some way you have always known it to be there; do not cower now that you actually get to marvel at its summit and taste the sweet ilnmortality of mastery. Regardless if you believe in Destiny or not, you cannot deny the fact that there is now a "you" and a "mountain," a "path" that leads you up and over it, and a "better place on the other side." Stop worrying about the weight and height of a foe that you have known you have had to face (voluntarily, I might remind you) and just find your own path over the slippery ledges. Does this make you a hero? No. Does this make you special? No. Does this make you human? Yes. Collect yourself and find your truest million-dollar smile; you are exactly where you should be and you will end exactly where you will end. Enjoy the . ide, but take the r ride! That mountain, that struggle, that victory, it all awaits! Have my words motivated you, pushed you in a direction that you were already facing? What do you need me for? Is it not time to take your stance, to put forth yourself as best you can, and see what happens? I have complete faith in you. Do you have faith in yourself? IWANT YOUR LOVE BY KATIE KOLOOZIE, CLASS OF 2012 Recently, I was told that I have the "worst music collection" of anyone my friend has ever seen. When I challenged him that it probably wasn't the WORST collection, but merely one of the worst, he stuck to his guns. I'm sticking to mine. I don't think there's such a thing as "better" or "worse" music, only music that you (whoever you are) like or don't like. Your tastes are probably influenced by lots of things, like what you grew up listening to and the people around you. I have a sneaking suspicion that anyone who says so is doing the same thing I do whenever I try to convince someone that a science fiction novel is better than a romance novel. �ics with greater complexity and depth than We're making it up. Granted, I'm not a musician, and I don't another; these are all commendable. But have much in-born musical talent. I respect commercial, unoriginal music can fulfill this and envy anyone who can play an instru- purpose too. Maybe we could call music "better" when ment or seemingly instinctually analyze a piece of music. I've always listened to a lot more people like to listen to it, especially if of music, but ask me to sing a scale or write we assume that the popularity of the Beatles counterpoint, and it'll be work. So, I'm and Led Zeppelin means something. But if probably about as qualified to pass sweeping that's true, than Lil' Wayne and Lady GaGa musical judgments as a caveman is to judge are approximately 374,952 times better than the worth of a Swiss watch. Whatever. If I Palestrina and Beethoven by today's stansay somethin g that's just wrong, please write dards; hell, Nickleback probably has them in to drag me out of my cave. I'd like to beat too. Plato would probably throw out almost learn. I'm not arguing that my music tastes are all the music I like out of his Republic, with anything other than laughable. My room- the possible exception of "Sicut Cervus." He mate angelically puts .up with m e blasting can get off his high horse. Not everything we Lady Gaga and Cobra Starship all the time, do has to be profound and have deep philoand thanks to the friend mentioned above, sophical implications. There's room enough I actually have the Beatles on my computer for both music that takes concentration and now. But "hilarious" is different than "bad." patience to fully appreciate and Kanye West. I've always been a little slow musically; my Surrendering to simple, powerful emotions continual listening to Radio Disney in and the equally instinctual music inspired middle school taught me to have a pretty by them is a part of the human condition thick skin. I feel pretty much the same at that we enjoy. It's a hedonistic point of St. John's, where everyone seems to like re- view, but I suppose I view some hedonism ally sophisticated music and bands that five as healthy. people have heard of, or classic rock that When people go to Reality parties, they EVERYONE has heard of. I enjoy most of don't go to have their musical tastes exit; almost everything we sang in Freshman panded or to sample the complexity of huChorus I loved, and I'm pretty convinced man thought. They go to dance. A LOT of Queen was copying Dante's treatment of people go to Reality parties; most of them love and God in the Purgatorio when they aren't made unvirtuous by the experience, wrote "Somebody to Love." and most of them have a really good time. However, I appreciate bands like Cobra I'll be there, unashamedly, rocking out to Starship because they tap into raw human "Bad Romance. " emotions like love, defiance, and loneliness in a direct way without trying to be pretentiou~ artists. Their songs simply move me more than, say, Indie Emo Bands with incredibly nuanced lyrics and a flugelhom. What they have to say-even if it isn't earthEverything seems to be broken. It's hard shakingly profound- is accessible and interesting, requires nothing more than ears to enough to find an unoccupied washer and enjoy, if you like it. It's for the same reason dryer at this school, but it becomes twice that Las Vegas draws more tourists and pro- as hard when half of them are broken. And duces more money, jobs, and glitter in a year I'm sure we've all noticed that the novelty Of than does the entire state of Montana. One a paper and plastic dining experience begins to wear off after a week and a half. has a lot more charisma than the other. And it seems to me that all this music It's easy to get angry about these inconis doing the same thing: expressing things veniences. Why, just today as I was / that happen inside us, whether it's desire for removing my shredded underwear . r union with the divine or desire for the hot from one of the exposed screws in the dryer I caught myself guy next to you. What a lot of people seem to consider "bad" music does this about as cursing vehemently under well as "better" music. Because why else do my breath. I realized that we listen to music except to be moved by an I was not only cursing the emotion or idea and enjoy the process? I re- sharp screw for the quesalize I sound a little like Zuckerkandl (whose tionable sense of fashion it had forced name can actually be translated "Rock Can- upon me, but I was cursing the school dy"). I buy that one song can be more subtle, for its negligence of the machines. Still less commercial, more technical, or have lyr- steaming, I sat down on the couch in the THINGS BREAK BY PATRICK BEEBY, GLASS OF 2012 Campbell common room and put my feet up on the table. Surely a little quiet time with my nose in a book will calm my nerves. But once I got settled I noticed my feet rocking back in forth. I yelled an R-rated version of something like, "You too?! You lousy, stinking piece of nonsense!" and stood up glaring at the table with its legs awry. But then the realization that in the last fifteen minutes I had become irate at three different pieces of equipment brought me to my senses and I thought, I can fix this. So I carefully flipped the table on its side, found the loose screws, and tightened them back down with the handle of a measuring spoon- the closest thing I could find to a flathead screwdriver. I tell you all this to say that things break, and every once in a while we come across something fixable. All we need to do is keep a level head and roll up our sleeves. It was wrong of me to get mad at a screw and certainly wrong to curse this wonderful school. Work orders are beautiful things. You can make a free phone call, and in a couple days your chair, lock, or desk will be fixed- for free ! But it won't always be this easy, or cheap. The Land Lord is not so forgiving and The Plumber and Mechanic are followed by a bill. Knowing how to tum a wrench or work a screwdriver without striping the screw can go a long way around a house, apartment, or donn room. Today we tend to take a stance of apathy towards broken things. We just buy a new one. But there is something to be gained when repairing something that is broken. If you've ever fixed something, you know what I'm talking about. It is more than a feeling of accomplishment; it is a feeling of self-worth and self-reliance. And if what you're fixing is your own, it is a feeling of control and competence over your own property. Most of us guys are going to be dads, and kids are quite experienced when it comes to breaking things. And nearly all of us, guys and girls, can remember the feeling we had when dad fixed our ) new toy after we broke it. As students, the situation is a little different. The things we break are not always our own, and none of us is willing to replace a broken table in a common room. But the apathy is still there. We may say, "It's not my problem," or, "Someone else will fix it." But even though it may not be our problem directly, each of us is a member of the polity, a citizen of the group, and much of what we TH E GADFL Y, JANU AR Y 2010 3 �read here can teach us about how to be a good citizen. So if the chair you're sitting in is a little rickety, or the common room door won't shut, or the brakes on your bike don't work, try to find the problem and see if it's something you can fix. I promise you that someone on your hall has a small tool ki't that his or her dad made him or her drag to school. And if you are that kid, then dig that tool box out of your closet and charge your roommate a few bucks for fixing his desk. You can probably do it in the time it takes a YouTube video to load. If you make a mess, clean it up. If you clog the toilet, unclog it. And if you come across something that you can't fix, that work order is only a phone call away. Perhaps if we all help fix the little things, the school will stop needing to buy new stuff, and they will finally fix the dishwasher. TWINEBERRY-11 BY MICHAEL LACY, GLASS OF 2012 Entry from Sunday, February 19th, 1950 "Three days ago I was soaring alone with complete freedom, my Zeppelin afloat from the fire of those damned books. I cursed an astronomer and threw him in the flames- yet another ancien t moron wh o didn't kn ow where the sun was. I'd forgotten my compass, but I knew I could fly East towards the setting sun, and arrive early Monday morning. The plan was to land in Monaco as an international sensation (being the first m an to pilot an airship solo across the Atlantic), have my hero's welcome, an d before the ticker-tape was even swept into the ocean, use my fame to become a Grand Prix racer, win the M onaco Cup, knock-up Gisele Pascal (even though Prince Rainier couldn 't), and live in a golden h ouse boat on the M editerranean. The gods cursed my voyage, though , an d after only ten h ours of fligh t, my airship began to fail. Perhaps the heat of the sun melted some of the shape-giving gravy, but more likely my fate has imprison ed ·me to sadness, because a page, a single page of Life M agazine, the shell of the hollow machine th at was keeping me afloat, flew off. I remember the page, fluttering up past me while I fell from the clouds- it was the cover from December 26th, 1949. That glossy page, its image obscured be- 4 THE GADFLY, JANUARY 201 0 neath delicious gravy (which I once thought was my dearest friend), sealed my fate, and I fell. I descended towards a mountain, which threatens all with his waving trees. Using every trick I could think of, I steered my failing vessel away from the greatest hazards but to little prosperity. The pages deserted me; Marilyn and Joe floated up and away to places I wanted to follow. The trees thickened and branches grabbed and ripped my flesh like great fishing hooks, while my ship was torn asunder. Now it was only my wooden chair and me, colliding into limb after limb, bashing from trunk to trunk, when without warning, we stopped. Trembling, I peeked beyond to see if there was more, only to fall even further, another ten by tenfold feet, and discovered that •\' ' when you hit the ground... you know it. The chair was flattened, but not before an arm tore into my thigh, gouging a vicious wound. "Goddamnit!" I shouted. I lay hopelessly sprawled, blood boiling from my leg in turbulence, flesh foaming off like water from a cauldron, showing all my inner meat and bone as I groaned terribly. I stretched back and turned up to the infernal trees that had done their best to finish me and who now blocked my final viewing of that conniving sun. I resigned myself to die there in the dark (reminded oddly of laying beneath my half. brother's bed), thinking the least the gods' could grant me was a tan before I left. But there were other plans afoot for me on Friday morning. A thud soun ded off to my right, an d an enorn10us (probably eight-feet-tall) man appeared. He was dark-skinned and muttering, seemingly more annoyed than shocked at my means of entrance. This was not the regal welcome in to Monaco I was hoping for. He tended my wound, tying my .thigh round ten times with sailing line. "Where am I?" I asked this m an. H e replied in a thick guttural tongue I barely recognized. Then he picked up a book, the only on e I hadn 't burned, and pointed to the cover with a map on it- Cliffs Complete Notes to the Western Territory. This man was speaking in Bellenak, the most ancient of Languages in the Western Territory. He scrutinized my face, finally finding something unusual in my condition and brought forth the heavy object he had dropped when he saw me. 'Gerai menkow plenktu?' He asked me, and after glossing his words in Cliffs Notes for a while, I shook my head because I did not know what he was holding. Well, I knew what it was, I just didn't know how to say it in Bellenak. He asked again, more excited this time. When I confinned I didn't know how to say it, he gave up a wail to the heavens of the most immense joy and began burying it in the hole my fall had made, tears streaming from his eyes. After a few minutes of searching for words (while the cretin danced around his totem pole), I finally produced the phrase: "barteu axem premer," or "ship moving stick." The man stopped dancing. He glowered at me furiously. 'Barteu axem premer!' he repeated. He ripped the oar from the groun d and slung it over his shoulder, muttering the phrase over an d over. When he'd walked far enough to be obscured by the trees h e shouted to me in Bellenak: 'May the gods, who I've come to love though their curses, show you the error of your ways.' And he was gone. I find religion so terribly cliched." This entry will be continued in the next Gadfly. GETTING TECHNICAL WITH WORDS B Y BLEE BARKS, ANONYMOUS World history is testament to the power of the Word as both a creative and destructive force. W e read in the h oly scriptures, ''And God said, 'Let there be light,"' setting in motion an extraordinary chain of events resulting in a world that produced both Abrah am Lincoln an d Jerry Springer. In his light-hearted rewrite of the Genesis account, John tells us, "In the beginning was the Word." This statement has caused quite a bit of logomachy ever since. Considering our verbose world was wrought from only two speaking human beings, one can imagine the God of the Jews throwing up His hands and sh rugging, "Who knew?" Words, words, words- sung, shouted, spoken softly- creating new possibilities and also unforeseen consequences. This was the case at our beloved Teni.ple Igleh art in a recent basketball game between the noble �{SATIRE} DEAR GADFLY ''•o "My best ideas come to me on the toilet, but they're usually poop jokes. " • GreenWaves and the resolute Druids. The outcome of the contest is irrelevant. What caught this philosopher-historian's attention was a magnificent sequence of play, which demonstrated the power of the Word and the sublime, self-correcting beauty of basketball. This classic moment defies encapsulation, but encapsulation is precisely the duty of the wretched sports historian, such as Homer, on whose shoulders I stand. Therefore, I press on. This spectacular sequence, lasting barely one minute, began with a word from Mr. Krueger (the alpha) and concluded with The Word from Mr. Pickens (the omega). Mr. Krueger's initial utterance, so onomatopoeically complex, occurred when he breached the Druid defense, gained possession of the ball and secured two points for his team in an almost impossibly contorted manner. A lesser man would have pranced down court, beating his chest in faux caveman bravado. But Mr. Krueger instead manifested a vigorous defensive posture, so tenacious and unyielding that his opponent resorted to chicanery, using fingernails to gouge Kruegerian flesh in retaliation. Mr. Krueger, a just man, attempted dialectic with the official about this unsportsmanlike behavior. Mr. Pickens, the chief official, : chose to e.l!'.ercise the sovereign power of the whistle before using unambiguous Words to clarify his position to Mr. Krueger. A technical foul was born of their divergent expectations. I don't know what followed, as this exquisite exchange sent me into an ecstatic reverie from which I didn't emerge until the contest was concluded. I overheard one observer comment, "That was a good game," to which I responded, "Word." Gornie by Paul Morrill It's really, really easy to be ridiculously ugly, especially at St. John's. Trust me, I know. At my public high school, it was basically the case tl1at girls would kick my knees and spit at my feet whenever they wanted. And I didn't want them to because eventually one grows tired of bruises and buying new shoes. Fortunately, however, I was able to get myself out of tli.at scenario one year early, leaving high school after junior year. (I can't imagine the poor souls who would have had to stay longer, or those who would choose to milk it for five!) Now tl1at I am in college, I see that the girls here are a little bit uglier, but somewhat smarter than their high school counterparts. Sorry, that's a bit misleading: the girls here are far uglier than those back in senior high. They just don't make Johnniettes like tl1ey do Mansfieldians. This, of course, poses a huge problem. Because I was so used to hiding my face, not saying a word, and giving off an unpleasant aura of old cheese, I tl1ought I was prepared for life in Annapolis. But you girls require much less character in your selection of males; character I guess I have because ... The first semester half of you fell in love with me. You couldn't help yourselves. All it took was my superior chess abilities, my day-late essay handins, wearing the same clothes for weeks , or sauntering by you in the dining hall mumbling in Klingon. Or that I was as white as white can be (I guess you all come from the city or something). Now that it's second semester, I think we face the issues that have presented themselves to us. And leave me alone. If you'd like, I'll start bathing more regularly. I'll even start going to tl1e gym. I am the stronger sex, after all. But please: let me prove I'm shallower than you think me to be. -Josh Primiano Class of 2013 THE GADFLY, JANUAR Y 2010 5 �ALMODOVAR'S "BROKEN EMBRACES" BY PETER AXER, GLASS OF 2009 Pedro Almodovar's seventeenth film, "Los Abrazos Rotos" ("Broken Embraces"), will soon leave the Harbor Center. I recommend seeing it before it goes. The Spanish screenwriter/director has won many welldeserved international awards for his films. His films in the past ten years are complicated and sometimes perverse dramas that tenderly and insightfully explore how love, friendship, and art affect us. He effectively sets a nuanced emotional tone in his films, often sprinkling humor into drama without mocking his characters, yet still poking fun at them. There is no bitterness in these latest films, and he affirms the lives of all his characters who are generous and forgiving, and who struggle to live on in spite of loss and violence. In "Broken Embraces," we meet Lena (Penelope Cruz), a woman whose father is dying of cancer and who cannot afford to hospitalize him any place where he can get help. To finance a treatment for he,r father, she becomes a mistress to the much older and tyrannical Ernesto Martel, one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in Spain. After two years with Ernesto, she is selected to star in a film being made by Mateo Blanco. The two fall in love. Martel, however, sends his gay son (the funniest character in the movie) to spy on the lovers and film all their interactions on and off set. Martel finances the film ensures its ruin by choosing the worst takes for the final edit. .- - ,,". _. ~Ml, .-.~ ~ .. ~tt~Ll1Y aotte te.aMQMB IN 'IOU/ 6 THE GADFLY, mum 2010 These details make up only a small part within "Broken Embraces" told by Harry Caine, who was once Mateo Blanco. (Mateo Blanco lost Lena and was blinded and robbed of his creative passion for images ancl his beloved, he assumed a different name.) The telling of the story fourteen years after sets off a series of revelations from other characters which, once disclosed, show Harry Caine the path to remaking his last film. "Broken Embraces" is a story of triumph over all odds in order to create a piece of art. It's about the power of images and the secrets they reveal. Like all of Almodovar' s movies, it affirms that the divulgence of secrets leads to forgiveness and renewal. While not very profound, profundity is not what makes Almodovar's films worth seeing. Some people say Almodovar makes the same film again and again. It's true that he explores many of the same themes, like the incommunicability between the worlds of men and women, or how art shapes us. And he often reproduces plot structures, such as the pattern of denial, revelation, liberation. But he develops these staples in each of his films through imaginative and engaging stories. There is pull to these themes and stories; and besides that, his movies are quite funny. The images he composes are luscious, full of rich colors and attractive, or striking, people. They're filmed with warmth for his characters. Seeing an Almodovar film is a cinematic and emotional experience, and this is its virtue. I would recommend Almodovar also because of his ability to make his viewers sympathize with characters who seem ridiculous or even despicable. As Mr. Stephenson said in his recent lecture on literature, one of its benefits is that through it we can step into another person's shoes, and by this experience we learn how to accurately judge the people we encounter in our lives. It is worth pausing to consider why Almodovar wants us to sympathize with some of his flawed characters. Could it be that they are full of pathos? Almodovar isn't a novelist but a filmmaker, and his talent as such is that he reveals his characters' inner-lives through meaningful images, not written descriptions of everything they think and feel. An example of such an image in "Broken Embraces" is Gornie by Anna Perry �when Harry Caine leaves the hospital for the first time since being blinded in a car accident. He spends an hour at a beach with a five-year-old boy. (The boy is the son of his personal assistant and is there to guide Harry.) It's windy and slightly overcast, and he stands amidst the easy bustle of people around him, clearly detached and lost, though dignified. He is no longer the man he used to be. This moment is delicately evoked in one long shot, showing Harry standing in the mid-ground with his back to the camera. Almodovar need not resort to close-ups or voice-overs to reveal what is happening within his characters. He has effectively built up to this moment during the movie, and his images have enough meaning and emotional resonance. ASK ANYONE BY CAROLYN ZELIKOW, GLASS OF 2011 Apologies, friends. On a Tuesday afternoon, while the Expert dozed in a sun pod, little men crissed and crossed the Expert's wallet with whispers and whiskers of unfinished thoughts until the slanting day shown straight through it. The Expert woke and wondered but in vain. So it's bother to get scrips and smokes and too much much to scratch and rail. 'On a bed of flag-leaves, watching till she wake, they have kept her ever since, deep within the lake.' But, Impious, what are these words? Have you forgotten Brown Mouse, kettle and calves? May the Expert rather repeat: 'Twilight is not good for maidens. You should not loiter in the glen.' This week, the Expert labors to labor, and when a god needs guidance, divinity turns to Robert Herrick. This poet inspires potency with particularly vivid images of nature, such as the following: I dream' d this mortal part of mine Was Metamorphoz' d to a Vine; Which crawling one and every way, Enthrall' d my dainty Lucia. Note the internal rhyme of MORtal / MORphoz'd, and CRAWLing I RALI.!d my. What's most 'mine' - the death root 'mort' - now writhes with bacchic overabundance, recalling "A Nocturnal upon St. Lucy's Day": Study me then, you who shall lovers be At the next world, that is, at the next spring: For I am every dead thing, In whom love wrought new alchemy. But this is almost too suggestive of Wilmot: Such kind Show' rs in Autumn fall, And a second Spring recall: characteristic of a youth 'with more capacity for love than earth/ bestows on most of mortal mould and birth.' Alas, the Expert's unquiet dreams. To lighter spirits, merely tugged, ye ponymaned peonies, by the late gusting plague, heed Houseman. Aye, Shoulder the sky my lads, and drink your ale. Whereas the Expert's languor is fully MATH PUZZLE {POHI} TWO POEMS OF COMPOST The Death of Early Spring I love the smell of earth in early spring before the first green shoots push from the ground. last fall's decaying leaves an odor brings of death which stillness echoes all around. The wakened squirrels seek and ne'er in vain to find an acorn that they've buried near. But many in warm soil \Vill still remain to birth an oak for squirrel's offspring dear. A storm that's late in season blankets snow and buries once again the moldering mass. But ne'er will storm impede the crocus' growth for decay's warmth brings life and more to pass. There is a time twixt winter and foll spring when passing death can teach a heart to sing. Eco-Friendly A whiff of aspergillus in his lungs has led the ancient man unto death's door. And it's but quickly time till he succumbs: soon halted is his respiratory chore. "He will have died 'ere long, in any case." defends the girl of her composting heap who'd rather value highly rotting waste and weigh the value of his life but cheap. This is a famous puzzle based on the show "Let's Make a Deal." The host, Monty Hall, offers you a choice of three doors. Behind one is a sports car, but behind the other two are goats. After you have chosen one door, he reveals one of the other two doors behind which is a goat. He knows what is behind each of the doors, and will not open the door with the car. Now he gives you the chance to switch your choice to the other unrevealed door or to stay with your initial choice. You will then get what is behind that door. Should you stay, switch, or does it not matter? The first person to email elizabeth. fleming@sj ca.edu will have good karma for the rest of the month. Congratulations to Caleb Nolen for answering the last math puzzle correctly, first! -Elizabeth Fleming For any ecological design to save the planet from mankind is pure. And progress we must make till all repine under the pristine earth as man-manure. So marches on the logic of the Green, for to them human life is most obscene. -Jerome Dausman Graduate Student THE GADFLY, jANUARY 2010 7 �THE QUAD Confidentiality at St. John's-I of Ill An interview with Sara Austin. by Brandon Garney, Glass of 2012 What follows was originally intended to be a single article. I thought it was important that all three interviews be read at the same time. Unfortunately, due to space restrictions, the article has been chopped up into three segments. I offer no commentary so as to allow those interviewed to speak for themselves. Brandon Carney: To begin with, can you say what happened in regards to your meetings with Mr. Januszewski and Ms. Paalman? Sara Austin: I cut my foot on an unknown object, so they sent me to counseling [and I went] because a friend of mine said I should probably get some help. So I went to Mr. Januszewski and told him [my situation]*, and took his advice to heart and stopped doing those things. But the report of Januszewski went to Paalman and she decided that I needed a semester off, but [she claimed] it wasn't disciplinary action. BC: So you were sent to Mr. Januszewski? SA: Yes. BC: By Ms. Paalman? SA: Yes. BC: Before you were sent to him, what did you suppose his role here at the college to be? SA: I thought he was a counselor to help me, not to get me. BC: What do you now understand his role to be? SA: I don't know if his role is any different. I think that his role is definitely kind * I would like to thank Ms. Austin for being so forthcoming with specific details concerning her meetings with Mr. Januszewski and Ms. Paalman. I have chosen to leave out these details in order to protect her privacy. 8 THE GADFLY, JANUARY 2010 of messed over. I don't know what his role is now. I don't know what he is supposed to be. _ but I can't be sure. I don't really know what parts I can refuse and not refuse." He was very vague. BC: What do you think his proper role is? What do you think his role should be? BC: Did he make you feel like you could trust him with that information? SA: I think it should be a support system for students with problems that need help while continuing to be a student. I don't think he should be the middle man between me and things I don't want to tell Ms. Paalman. That doesn't seem fair. SA: Yes. He's a good guy. I did feel like that. I took his advice to heart. BC: Before you were sent to Mr. Januszewski, what did you think his policy on confidentiality was? , T -- SA: I was sort of told that the information had to be told to Ms. Paalman, but I didn't really think about that very much. In hindsight I know that he probably shouldn't have told her those things because I did ask for him to exclude some parts of what I said and he did not. BC: Did Mr. Januszewski make explicit his policy on confidentiality before allowing you to speak to him? SA: He did. He said, "I need permission to tell Ms. Paalrnan." I asked him whether there were some things I could refuse to tell him. That he was a little bit vague about. I asked him "Well, if I tell you this are you going to tell Ms. Paalman? Am I going to get in trouble?" He said, "I don't know. I don't think any disciplinary action will be taken, BC: What do you now understand his policy on confidentiality to be? SA: It was presented to me like I had the choice whether he told Paalman or not. Apparently within the context of the school, if you are sent by mandate by an administrator to a counselor, he's obligated to tell her everything. I was sort of presented with it like I had an option, so I thought that they were kind of tricking me in that sense. He was going to tell whether I gave him permission or not. I had no idea that, if I was being sent there by force, he got to tell her everything he wanted. I didn't think that was the point of counseling. I thought it was more for me, and for him to report to her on whether I'm making progr~ss and continuing to see him. BC: Do you think that Mr. Januszewski's attitude towards confidentiality undermines his proper role? SA: I don't know if it's his attitude on confidentiality or the fact that he has to tell Ms. Paalman things, but I �,, ',-' '{>0'' <:c~~·'.;f.'_'.;:·,,:,'.·,"-"~:·.·::·· DISPATCH FROM BONAliRE definitely think that the fact that he is being forced to tell this infonnation to Ms. Paahnan, and Ms. Paalman is trying to take action on things told in privacy to a counselor [by someone] seeking help ... I mean, I think it's useless because no one's going to be honest any more. I told everybody about the situation. I was pretty upset. Anyone that needs help now, I don't think that they can necessarily find it on campus if he's the only counselor. BC: Before meeting with Ms. Paalman, what did you suppose her role to be here at the college? SA I really didn't think about it that much. I didn't have to visit that office very much last year. I thought, especially in my case when she sent me to counseling, that she was trying to help me. She told me, "You have to take a semester off. Your going to counseling will really increase the chances of your being let back in." That's definitely disciplinary action. Just because you're calling it "not disciplinary action," that doesn't mean that its not. I guess in this case I didn't feel like she had my best interests at heart. BC: I guess my question is: before you went her, did you think that her place was to try to help students or to try to discipline students? she should be looking out for us before looking out for the reputation of the security office and how harsh they are, which is what I felt she was doing in this circumstance-laying down the law. BC: So now what do you understand her role to be-a disciplinarian or an aid? SA: She retracted her statement after a lot of involvement from my parents. She is letting me come back. Now she's making me go to [other sources of help]*. I guess she changed her mind, _ but only when presented "\.. ~with a fairly strong argu~ ment from someone • else. I can't speak for all the other cases, but in • my case I felt like it was definitely more about discipline than about me getting the help that I needed....- SA I guess kind of a combination of both. This is her campus, we are her students, THE GADFLY, JANUARY 2010 9 �{POEM} DETROIT LOVE STORY in the hopes they'd make him doze a knocking on his door arose. He just sat there like a dope. Though they said he was a phony still he ran his big Zamboni on the tons of macaroni that fed relentless flames. is expected, but through each squall stood they together conquering all. Happy ending, don't you think? She had followed minutes later after him who left a crater in her heart and wouldn't date her, but she never gave up hope. -Jerome Damman Graduate Swdent {POEM} In his mind he was a hero as he chilled the ice near zero while his boiler blazed like Nero enticing all the dames. To the door he dragged feet slowly bearing countenance quite lowly. Then door opened ... "Holy Moley! 1t' s the gorgon! Why' s she here? " Hockey groupies by the dozens would lie and say they're cousins of Red Wings (but they wasn't) to gain the locker room. She ignored his words, so cruel: was it love, or was she fool? Nonetheless in vestibule she relieved him of his beer. He believed they lied to meet him, and with flowery words they'd greet him, but they only served to cheat him and would foretell love's doom. "Listen Morgan, you must shape up! You're a man, you're not son1e young pup! I'll make dinner, you go wash up." Snumed, he went and washed his hands. Every night she plays the organ as she gazes down on Morgan but to him she was a gorgon: her face resembling death. Day by day she calmed his worries as he set out in snow flurries job hunting. i\nd so he hurries till at last a job he lands. She loved would-be lotharian and l-new those girls weren't marryin' the driver who was carryin' rank garlic on his breath. Over time he did recover and evenmally discovered that he fondly grew to love her, she who saved his broken heart. Then one night with boiler hissin' Morgan's leal·y steam was pissin' on the ice and made it glisten, just before it mrned to slush. Noticed she, this new arousal. When he deigned to make things spousal she accepted his proposal. They were married, ne'er to part. That night the game was cancelled. Morgan's hopes for kisses were quelled with the girls for whom he angled when he found they had no crush. Each new day brought these two closer: this kind girl and he who chose her. And each night to bed she would lure him, the man who was her prince. Home alone he trudged quite weary with his teary eyes so bleary. In his mind there was a query: Shall I always be alone? Life for poor and lower classes, those unlucl1' lads and lasses may look bright through tinted glasses. You, dear reader, I'd convince. Arriving home with snow descending thinking of his firing pending: it was beyond comprehending, all his hopes were overthrovm. We might think that life was rosy in their love nest, oh-so cozy. We'd find troubles, if we're nosy, troubles to drive one to drink. Then while guzzling his first Stroh's In our lives some little rainfall 1a THE GADFLY, JANUARY 2010 HE'S SO VAIN Being starved for cash The Gadfly let Mr. Johns pay for an issue. Crying while I read that trash. I used mine for a tissue. Horrendous did we read the inhumanity. Smpendous at St. John's was this insanin·. Tremendous is the extent of his great vanity. To one question this poem responds: who is this youth, this same Chris Johns? Does he surpass all our school dons wielding his myriad batons of activities as magic wands excelling in all that corresponds? Do we stream to grandmaisons at his attending their salons while he sips Dom Perignons? ls he much cooler than the Foru:, die pinnacle of all Don Juans attracting redheads, brunettes and blondes? Do J ohnniettes buy his come-ons? Should we cast his bust in bronze and strew his path with fresh palm fronds? Will we fall for all his cons? This youth, this pup, this bounder: he'd have us think that he's Saint Johns! -Jerome Dausman Graduate Sti1dent �DODD ON THE QUAD J.D. Salinger Dies at 91 BY KIRSTIE DODD Writing this article is an eerie e..xperience for me. I was intending to print an article about ·writing a fan letter to J.D. Salinger, but then I read last Thursday that he died. This immediately made me think r..vo things: 1) Is my column now like The Black Spot? and 2) Crap, I can't p1int that article. Though the original article wasn't offensive or anything, I used some-er-miffed invectives against the man. I wrote him a letter gushing about how he summed up my childhood with the gritty sincerity of his protagonists and he inspired me and blah blah blah; he never wrote back and so I took out my revenge in a Gadfly article. But that's the lesson I should learn: never write letters to misanthropes, and certainly never write letters t0 recluses because they make bad pen pals. I mean, sure, I totally ignored the fact that he told newspapers in 1974: "I like to write. I love to v.rrite. But I iNTite just for myself 'jEAH1 ttti ~ c"1f ~EAi- and my own pleasure." Of course he'd the night, wondering if it was my awful letter write to me, I thought, addressing the that killed J.D. Salinger rather than simply letter to Cornish, N.H., this letter is the natural cause of living to a ripe old age freaking charming-it's going to jockey outside of the hurly-burl of the limelight. 1 its way in front of all of that tripe-y can picture him opening the envelope and Holden Caulfield fan mail and melt extracting the pages littered with curvaceous all the ice in his highball. red ink, straining his poor eyes to read yet Well, he didn't write back. And another droll and dopey fan letter. And now he can't ever. I've been tcl.i.inking then, his eyes widening, he clutches at his a lot about that letter I wrote him as neck, thinking something like, "Didn't I I take solitary Salingeresque walks in teach them anything?" Letting the letter fall the snow. If I knew then what I know to the floor, he sinks back, exhausted, into now-that he would soon pass away-I his plush kelly green recliner to have fitful probably would have made a better at- nightmares about the slow collapse of Our tempt at being less phony. I described Nation's Youth. The man deserves nothing short of encomy childhood bookcase for chrissakes. I told him about how each shelf represents differ- mium-especially from me. I did him a disent archaeological levels in my childhood service in my last article, and my letter to reading development and how I cleared him said all of the v-rrong things. I should out Beatrix Potter and those campy Roman have said something like, "Thank you, mystery novels in a fit of freshman zealous- Mr. Salinger, for buoying the disillusioned ness for the Program, and now I can't find young reader otherwise doomed to boring where I put any of them. I told him Franny t<? high school classes on Ethan Frame and The Zooey is my favorite book and I keep it near Awakening, for your inimitable Glass family, my collection of "Betty & Veronica" comic for inspiring every would-be New Yorker stobooks because they belong together on the ry v.rriter, for your subtle irn.pressions about "Read When Sick In Bed" shelf. I scribbled Eastern philosophy, and for your perfectly insane things to that man, about how I felt a sad and wonderful Holden, immortal Holdlittle bibliomaniac nestled somewhere in the en." That would have been far more sincere warm spot of my heart near the aortic valve, and lovely. I guess I'll try ·writing a different fan letter piloting me to smell bindings and lovingly caress old books and whisper curses against with a different author, say, Thomas Pynthe Kindle at every free moment. cheon. A.11d tli.is time I'll do it for the fat Since Thursday, I've woken up from in- lady, buddy. ~ voluntary spasms and starts in the middle of fZ.Allfilll'f • :I MEM·J' ""f\1.() L.~, r-. 1 s~·Jr-·re"'r . Gornie by Max Parrott THE WHY, !!IUARY 281Q 11 �THE GADFLY 60 College Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 United States of America '&litor-in-Chief JOCKS O' THE WEEK KiTStie Dodd ]unicrr '&litcrr Elizabeth Spagnoletti Design Editor ]. Keenan Trottet Businw Manager Marin Skokan.die: Graphic Arti.<t Noah Litvin Spots Jack.Neill Contributors Peter .Axer Blee Barks Rachel Bartgis PatrickBeeby John Blechl Brandon Carney Jerome Dausman Emma Gold Chris Johns Katie Kolocbie Michael Lacy Kaura Mackey Paul Morrill Pavlas Papadopoulos Max Parrott Anna Perry Louis Petrich Josh Primiano EmilySebell Carolyn Zelikow F ounded in 1980, The Gadfly is the student weekly distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the sole responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most professional, informative, and thought-provoking newspaper which circumstances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted will be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circumstances. The Gadfly meets every Friday at 7 PM in the lower level of the BarrBuchanan Center. All articles are due at 11:59 PM on Thur~day. The Gadfly recommends Strunk & White's The Elements of Style and the Chicago Manual of Style to you, the Polity; your usage of semicolons may benefit. 12 THE GADFLY, JANUARY 2010 "Everything For the Smoker" Tel: 410-263-2066 Fax: 410-263-4647 56 Maryland Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 shop@smokeshopusaltd.com The Gadfly would like to welcome our new interns, Annika Schwiebert & Lydia Boaz! Welcome to the family. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXII, Issue 1 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2010-01 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXII, Issue 1 of The Gadfly. Published January 2010. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 32.1 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/181c77e7031530634c81d546eaefc691.pdf 02e8c6f9594f560dce9c599039c3f6fc PDF Text Text �\ ty and staff salaries are frozen, and spending has been curtailed in almost every area. Neglecting our facilities, however, could have more serious consequences for the college in the long run. LETTERS CHRISTOPHER B. NELSON, PRESIDENT A recent letter from an alumna to The Gadfly questioned how the college is spending a $1.695 million grant from The Hodson Trust. The letter writer asked why the college would devote $1.2 million of the grant to the construction of a new administrative building instead of using it to lower tuition or increase financial aid. In fact, $500,000 of the grant will go to support need-based scholarships. However, as the letter writer herself suggested, the larger part of the grant from The Hodson Trust was earmarked for capital projects only. A generous supporter of St. John's, The Hodson Trust funds major new programs or building projects at the four Maryland colleges to which it makes annual grants. The Trust also provides funding for Hodson Internships at St. John's. This small new building is intended to house faculty offices, a meeting room that can also be used for seminars and preceptorials, and administrative offices. After it is complete, we will move several administrative staff functions to this new building, freeing up Carroll Barrister House to be used exclusively for admissions. Next we will begin on a long-overdue renovation of Carroll Barrister, shoring up this historic, but heavily used, building. A top priority of our campus master plan is to improve this building so that prospective students and their families are given the best first impression when they visit the St. John's campus. It is understandable that students and alumni question the college's financial decisions during this economic downturn. This recession will no doubt continue to affect alumni, and our students and their families, for some time. With these concerns at the forefront, the college last year enacted the smallest tuition increase in 20 years, raising tuition just 2.9 percent for this academic year. At the same time, the college added $1 million to its budget for financial aid by trimming expenses across the board. More than 60 percent of St. John's students receive aid to attend the college, and the average St. John's grant is $22,000. In terms of college priorities, funding need-based aid is second only to preserving the quality of the program. This year, all St. John's offices went through additional belt-tightening: staff positions have remained unfilled, facul- 2 THE 6ADFlY, FEBRUARY 2010 I was disappointed today to open The Gadfly and not find another article from Ms. Gold. I believe we can all accept the truth: we have sex. We are here at St. John's to examine ourselves in some sense, so why must we leave that part of our lives unexamined simply because some people are too uncomfortable to speak about it? And of course, this inability to speak of sex and sexual activity has (and surely will continue to) lead to acts of sexual harassment that go unreported and unspoken of because of the shame that comes with broaching the topic, or the question: "Does that even count as sex?" "What will people think of me if I talk about something like this?" I, for one, do not see a column addressing the sexual (read: natural) concerns of the Polity as analogous to Cosmo, but rather the Symposium. We are thinkers; let us think, in the bedroom and out. RILEY SPICER, CLASS OF 2011 To Katie Kolodzie, Class of 2012: Please note: Zuckerkandl' s name cannot be translated as "Rock Candy." ELSABE "INA" DIXON, CLASS OF 2010 Note: Upon prompt, Ms. Dixon offers the more accurate translation of "lollopop" (sugar stick). In response to Blee Barks' article in the February 2nd issue of The Gadfly, "Getting Technical with Words,'' I am not sure if you meant to imply that Jerry Springer stood at the opposite pole of rhetorical skill or human achievement from Abraham Lincoln. But I would like to point out that Springer was a popular and progressive Ohio politician in the 1970s, including a year as the mayor of Cincinnati. This was before his career as a talk show host. SASHA SEREBRYANNIK, CLASS OF 2012 I am surprised that while you spoke with such pride, you clearly think very little of your own sex - as if we were so simple a bunch that you needn't hesitate to speak for us all. I, on the other hand, realize that part of what makes us so fair is that we are a complex and thoughtfully diverse breed, and that there is a reason more than one of is us is allotted to each class. So, in order to be more fair to the sex which is called just that, I will speak here only for myself. Campbell, Thank you. It's easy at St. John's to sink down into dork despair, resigning myself to the idea that I go to a school that's as poor in looks as it is rich in negative and derisive Gadfly articles. Thank you for recognizing and pointing us to the truly beautiful, or should I say, ridiculously good looking women with whom we are blessed to share the table and quad. I believe it was the deep thinker Rousseau who recognized that, "Men who have morals are the true worshipers of women." It's good to know there is at least one around. ANONYMOUS Unbeknownst to me, my wallet fell out of my bag when I was in the McDowell Hall coffee shop last Thursday night between classes and I didn't even realize it was missing until I got home (in Virginia) at about 11 PM that night. I called St. John's Public Safety and was told that a student had turned in my wallet so I could pick it up in the Security Office. I asked for the student's name but they didn't have it. Thank you to that student, whoever you are! I figured I could do without the wallet for a few days, until Monday night's classes. Then with classes being cancelled due to the astronomical amount of snow and bad weather, I knew it would be a while before I could get back to campus. So I called to see if my wallet could be mailed to me. After a couple of referrals, I spoke to Sharon Hensley at the Graduate Institute and she was kind enough to pick up my wallet, take it the post office on Tuesday and have it mailed to me, bless her heart. Thanks so much to Ms. Hensley! Just wanted to share with the college community what good people are a part of St. John's. SUSAN LAROCCA, GRADUATE STUDENT In the coming days, weeks and months, you will begin to hear many things on campus about "reform" and "courts". You may hear about them from your elected delegates and officers of the D.C., from interested peers, and even read about them in the pages of The Gadfly. Don't be alarmed. It's just that as people and polities get older their interests begin to shift, and they get interested in kinkier and different things in order to keep the old spark alive. Things like proportional representation, responsibility, and self-governance. This semester, my first as your President, was the beginning of my fourth on the D.C. Over the past two years I have seen crisis after crisis that the D.C. wasn't able to deal with effectively or efficiently. The perpetual �issue, it seemed to me and others, was that the D.C. wasn't equipped to ·handle some of the issues that were coming up before it (audits, inflating budgets, freshmen), and wasn't even allowed to handle others that involved the student polity. To begin to deal with these problems, I have submitted some proposed reforms to the Polity Attorney that will begin the process of amending the constitution. Some of the simpler reforn1s include the abolition of the so-called "King's Clause", seat redistribution, voting refonn, as well as budgetary and financial obligation reforn1s. The big reform I am proposing, however, is the creation of a polity court. I believe that this is a large and important step in the ·direction of self-government, one that will allow polity issues to be settled by polity members. I deeply believe in taking these sorts of responsibilities upon ourselves, and I can think of no better reform to truly change polity life for the better. It may surprise some of you that we used to have a polity court. Between the early sixties and the mid-eighties the court played a large role in polity life. It was originally fonned when the dorn1s went co-ed, as the students objected to heavy-handed anti-sex disciplinary action by the administration. The court was able to allow the students to set their own standards of decency, which we can thank for the wonderful amount of Johnnie sex as well as certain Gadfly columns. Change we can believe in. As recently as 2002 reconvening of the court was considered, but ultimately failed due to unknown causes (the past is just so damn murky). The college has, like it always will, changed completely and not at all since we last had a polity court, but I think the time is right to give it another go. As a polity, I think we need such a body in order that we may set out and enforce our own standards of behavior, instead of taking our cues from the administration. Many people have already voiced their support, and I hope that the whole campus can come together and create a system that we can be, if not proud of (hubris will get us anyway), reliant on. So in the coming days when you see signs and e-mails about polity wide meetings on these propositions, please come. Nothing is set in stone. Voice your support, or disapproval. Help us write them. Bring new ideas. Write angry letters to The Gadfly. We need a better issue of contention in these pages than bondage and the fleeting thoughts of sex-crazed freshmen anyway. DAVE MAHER, CLASS OF 2011 AND PRESIDENT OF THE STUDENT POLITY let Us Be Provoked! This article is meant to serve as a response to Ms. Mackey's letter in the most recent issue of The Gadfly, in which she succinctly expresses her "disappointment" at articles she tenns to be "reminiscent of that disgusting rag known as Cosmopolitan." I assume she is referring to The Gadfly's latest installment entitled "Of Johns and Johnnies." "Of Johns and Johnnies," recently begun by Ms. Gold, class of '12, focuses on providing an open forum for students or community members who wish to discuss or have questions pertaining to sex and sexually related topics. Ms. Mackey's main points seem to revolve around the precepts that articles written for The Gadfly should primarily serve to entertain and be enjoyed, and that "what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom." Personally I find these precepts disappointing, irresponsible, and, at best, arguable. When I was a sophomore I attend sexual ethics seminars hosted by a now-disbanded group called the Women's Circle. The discussions were meant to confront the fact that there are many hushed up incidents on campus that involve the grey areas around sexual consent (what can be understood to be rape as opposed to an unfortunate and unwanted "drunken hookup"? , etc.), how sexual politics effect the classroom and community, and how we as a campus and a polity can create a safer atmosphere for those who have questions and/ or wish or need to discuss incidents that they are uncomfortable with. There were only two points that everybody involved in those discussions seemed to be able to agree on: first, that it is difficult if not impossible to enforce overarching ethical codes that define what is or is not all right in "grey area" situations, and second, that discussion of sexual ethics is imperative to a healthy polity as it serves to help the individual consider these questions for themselves. This is a community in which, whether or not we like to admit it, sexual politics is a primary issue (this is the first point Ms. Gold made in her very first article, I'm simply reiterating). I have witnessed students be socially ostracized for acts they may or may not have committed, students express sentiments such as "I always hit on the most drunk girls because they're the easiest," students who don't report or even willingly discuss upsetting incidents because they don't know where accountability lies. These are extreme examples. More common examples include a plethora of discussions I've had with students who are sexually active and know little to nothing about contraception and THE GADFL Y, FEBRUARY 2010 3 �the prevention of STDs, discussions where people are frustrated with their sex lives and refuse to even discuss it in the bedroom, let alone without, or how few men are aware of there being a physical difference between the act of orgasm and ejaculation (which may seem trivial, but if more openly discussed could rescue many frustrated sexual relationships). Simply discussing these and related issues allows individuals to define and explore their own sexual ethics. Ms. Gold's articles have already begun provoking these discussions. Suppressing discussion because "what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom" promotes an atmosphere of ignorance and leaves doors open for irresponsible behavior and leaves doors shut to awareness and change. This is a school that operates from that ideal that open, honest discussion is a primary means of education. Discussion allows for us to voice, and subsequently listen to and define, our own opinions and politics. The Gadfly is a respectful forum for discussion, not simply a means of entertaining. Where are discussions to be provoked if not in The Gadfly? While I take umbrage with Ms. Mackey's points, I am glad that she voiced her opinion honestly such that I may take up this discussion and voice mine. I hope that this is a discussion that continues to be supported by The Gadfly, as well as provoked and respectfully debated at St. John's parties and in the dining hall for the sake of our polity's well-being. I hope that Ms. Gold continues to be bold enough to provoke us to consider and examine our sexual selves without shame. NORA EDGE Is the Program Fair? To take up such a question will come as a surprise and as a shock to any reader who has followed my thoughts and views throughout the year; such a question, though, demands an answer even from the stoutest supporters and the most stubborn detractors of the Program. This question really asks: how can Liberal Education be a beneficial and necessary form of bettennent in today's world, especially when the general direction of education is moving in another way? However, since I do not wish to overstep my bounds, and speak about Liberal Education in general when I only have particular knowledge, I must limit myself to our blessed Program; in this limiting, I hope to demonstrate the seriousness in my answer. From a certain point of view, the Program is foolish because it both attempts to move away from the general motion of the world 4 THE 6ADFL Y, FEBRUARY 2010 and it supersaturates its students' heads concern; they show, by their objection, an with more information than what is practi- actual and sincere caring for the students cally possible to retain. These two objections here. Their indifference, it must be noted, to our Program have been the battle-cry for would not lead to an objection; the stronevery opponent that I have encountered in ger the indifference, the less likely a voiced my tenure at the School. These opponents, objection would arise. And the vast majorit can be concluded, can be found via their ity of people are indifferent and thus they particular objection; I shall endeavor to neither know nor care about our Program. treat each in fairness and respect. These people, for all their worth, must not Those who object to the Program on the be allowed to enter d1is answer. However, grounds that it moves away from the gen- for those who do openly object, we find that eral motion of the world are the concerned the strength of their objection, as well as the friends of the students of the Program; that amount that it is recast, tells us that they is, parents, relatives, disinterested parties, actually beg for knowledge about our Proand even those who are sugram. The defenders of Liberal Education, and the supporters of our Program, should perficially opposed to not take their objections as an insult and education in general. Their common elea want for war, but rather as the indiment which binds rect request to act as the supporters them is the need of the Program naturally act; that is, for practicalthey beg us to teach them about the ity, though, Program. This objection, to put it into the Language of our Instituit must sadly tion, is an "opening question," be admitted, that their unan invitation for Conversation. derstanding When viewed properly, we lose of the term is the uncomfortable and awkward rather narrow. feeling that we inherently feel when we must discuss our Program They, for the most part, comwith these objectors, and we gain prehend practithe comfort and the ease of talking cality by the very to and helping people who are on the brink of our friendship . Hopefully, we motion of the world in which they offer as can see how this seemingly practical obsupport of their claim; jection is really a theoretical request. The second kind of objection apfor them, what is practical is what is immediatepears as a different sort of cry; indeed, we are at once struck ly apparent as a need. These with the fact that the objecare like the mechanic who only fixes the immediate problem un( ~ tor knows our Program well der the hood, but fails to grasp '\../' enough to know the speed {' and accuracy in which we the car's situation as a whole and will thus see the same l • (\\ .· handle the Great Books. vehicle again very soon; that To their credit, their is, these opponents are overlyobjection is, in prinsensual and lack the foresight to "') ciple, valid. I most passionately can attest to see beyond the immediate. I will admit a great secret to the fact that after four years of all the amazing you: I was once one of these people. I worked my full-time job with overtime, I works that I have read and studied, I still argue slept and dreamed about sensual things, I that I know very little. I had my regular seat at my regular bar, and simply ask you to hearken my goals beyond the next week were but vague and hazy objects that, when pressed, back to any reading and see how well you recall not only I could find no words to describe. In this the general point of the readway, I believe that the world prepared me for the Program; like Augustine, I could not ing, but also the particular find my happiness but was all the while bedetails of the argument as the ing prepared to find it. This School is my means to get to that end. It often is asserted that in matGarden. ters of scholarly attire, the Because I can relate to these objectors in method or means is just the closest way, I must sympathize with their O 0 \..J �as important as the end result. Taking this to be true, how well can any of us recall ·with satisfacdon the argument made by u.\e Great Mind who Vv""TOte the work? To combat this problem, we begin to make the Program our own. The normal course of defense is to begin to take notes. Regardless if this is simple underlining and highlighting, or if it takes a more drastic form of notes in the margin or even notebooks about the books, we attempt, as best we can, to cut up the constant flow of information into manageable pieces. These pieces eventually are logged and categorized, placed into a system of notes or into some order in a notebook, where we can then reference them as a quick refresher. These notes do not have to be physical; indeed some students, and I claim the better of us (myself not included, as I take more physical notes than anyone I know), can hold this entire system in their minds. However, we all proceed in the same fashion, if you truly attempt to be apart of the Program; we rake notes in order to conserve space in our brains. Insofar as these objectors mean simply this, their ground is more than justified. Ir is true that h'lales was not a young man when he began to teach. A striking and almost universal characteristic of the Great .A.uti\ors is that u.tiey are both well-read and well-on in years. Wit...1-i each passing generation, die possibility to hold the same amount of k.'1owledge lessens - insofar as we can take u.tie time to study what they have studied. The Program, however, does not rely on this kind of thinking. Instead, what these objectors fail to realize is that we must then take the new philosopher and study him too. Because philosophy is constantly growing and expanding, we cannot take the same amount of time to study as the Great Aut...'iors have studied. 'We even see that, with very rare exceptions, the modern philosophers stay content in the context of d1e immediate phiiosophical problem, or of those of a prior generation once removed. Indeed, those who do bring up the ancients do so in the same way that we attempt to suppress all die readings into notes: they give brief and broad sketches of then;.. Thus we come to find that these objectors actually doubt their own education, and the claims of Liberal Education. They forget that we learn more how to live philosophically, t...h.an d1e various and enonnous philosophical systeras. No doubt, it is these philosophical systems that we must compress in our heads, but the living way of life that we learn here is always present and quite simple to grasp. We come to understand this philosophical way of hfe through the very philosophical systems that we encounter. The Stoa is not a hard concept to understand, and Christianity is easily infused into lives; Philosophy, taken as a breathing entity and not as a dead-dogmatic object, moves in the same way. Thus, we find u.1-iat these objectors, who appeared as d1eoretical or intellectual objections, are in fact practical in their claims. It is a short step to see how Philosophy is practical as a way of life; their own education should provide the necessary details. These people are our brothers and sisters; when they realize that even their education is for the sake of iiving philosophically (a fact that is often missed) j u s t as our education teaches us, we all come to realize the true relationship th.at we have with the rest of the Realm of Learned Men and Women. There is a final objection that I do not hear from anyone except the acn1al sn.iden:s of the Pro- gram; this objection should be taken most seriously, as it comes directly from "the mouu.1i of babes." This objection, which I myself have felt and constantly feel, is one that ultimately will justify the Program; indeed, it is only through this objection that I have come to so passionately support this Institution. This objection looks at the Program from the inside, not externally as our other friends and siblings have done. The basic thrust of the objection to the fairness of the Program involves time management. It goes vlithout question that the demands of the Program are high, even more so when one begins to realize that each v.rork is inexhaustible and thus there Vvill never be an end to u.1-ie toiL \fie all handle this realization in various ways, but the motto of our Program, and what we should be taking as the important piece of knowledge, is that we must live philosophically, and thus we cannot, nor should, expect an end to our pursuit. To live philosophically is to live, and only in death can we be stopped in our ambition. Most philosophers, Socrates and Dante being the shining examples, tell us that still the learning will continue even in death; in fact, the true learning will be done there. The objection comes not from t.lie demands of the Program, but from the demands of everything else that is not the Program. School is only a part of our lives. We work, we love, sleep, we eat, we watch sporrs and read magazines. We need more than just the Program and we readily know this and admit it; our various clubs and the athletics program are just manifestations of this objection. We come to believe that the Program is something outside everything else in our lives, something leisurely and not necessary, an opposition to the rest of our lives. We go to certain rooms in certain building to learn the Program; we go other places to parry and to work and to love. To rectify the Program is to synthesize it with the other elements of our lives, to understand that it is just as necessary as any other part. This is the true aim and goal of living philosophically: to understand that, when properly understood, it means simply to live and to live better. The Program is not in opposition to our lives (for then we, as students, would be opposed to ourselves), but rather the Program collects the pieces of our lives and offers us how to live each of them in a better way. True, our education here is only four years, but to become a true student of the Progran1 is to u:nderstand tl-iat: these fours years is only formal training for the rest of our lives. When we understand that, we cannot hold everything that d1e Progran" has to offer wiu.1-iin us. When we subjugate ourselves to this fact, when we find humility and therefore hope and freedom in our alignment of will with the Program, then we can finally quiet our O\Vn objection tc ourselves, that weak part of all of us that screams of fairness only in the effort of self-preservation. We can become true philosophers and true friends, true teachers and true brothers, true students and rrue ambassadors. What is fairer than that? JOHN BLECHL m s;m1. ;mum 2010 5 �Twineberry-111 "O!, reader of this my painful chronicle, I know that the details of my adventure are confusing and impossibly strange, but I merely report what has occurred, and I think very it will soon become much clearer. Though first, it must be even more obscure. After this zealot departed from me, I did my best to make my way through the heavy brush, in search of some society. I heard noises following me for miles, and I turned many times, dreading the presence of a hungry leopard or packs of she-wolves or whatever terrible predators this land is home to. I felt relief as I came to a clearing, an oasis of flat land without thickets or crisscrossing trees. I discovered the reason for this was that the ground was nothing but quicksand. In a moment I had sunk two feet, which isn't an incredible depth in reference to people of average height, but I found it rather constricting. Suddenly I was wrenched from the muck and mine eyes did fall upon, outlined stunningly by the bright orange sun, a native woman, impossibly ·tall and shrewdly elegant, more beautiful than the most beautiful woman I could imagine. As large as the oar-carrying man, she easily lifted me from the trap and set me upon the solid ground to the right. I was in love. She spoke nothing to me, and led me through the day to a place she wouldn't reveal. I attempted to speak to her in English, Bellenak, and even some romance tongues but she kept aggressively silent. That night we made camp beneath the shelter of enorn10us fallen logs. She built a fire, proficiently prepared a meatless supper, and when it was over, I tired to return the favor. I wasn't sure of the proper etiquette in propositioning a native, so I stood upon a large rock to be on equal level, then thrust my lips upon hers and fondled her watern1elonesque bosom. The technique would probably have had more luck in the Eastern Territory- they're less closed minded about such things. While she _.....--:::::: didn't holler or slap me, 6 THE GADFLY, FEBRUARY 2010 she did have a strange reaction. She pulled tions into this ancient world. This is where back and held my head very intently, staring Stringfellow came thirty years ago, and into my eyes for what felt like three whole where he still takes trips as often as he can. minutes. Then she began to laugh tremen- 0, what cruel fate would bring me here! dously, and went off to prepare her shelter The giant native who escorted me, whom for sleep. I still swoon for hopelessly, took me to the While I'm not a man unaccustomed to leader of this facility. He is a portly and being put out, I never let a bit of passion reverential man (a little dull minded if you go to waste. I went off from the camp, a bit ask me for he hardly speaks) by the name of frazzled, and relieved myself of the excite- Tom. "Good-day, Ohmnu," he said to her. ment beside a rambling stream that was rust "Good-day, Tom," she replied in English! colored from the fading sunlight, thinking "This blind-fool has wandered from the of the woman's face. When I had finished place of you observers, and he needs a treatit'd grown dark, and it took me a lifetime ment for his wound," she continued, pointto find the camp again. I found my guide ing to my leg. "Blind-fool! Who's she callsleeping contentedly in her well-crafted ing a blind-fool?" I retorted. Tom looked at nook. I didn't rest well. The thickets around me with a calm expression that searched my me stirred and murmured. Great skirmishes face, and finally said: "It's an idiom of the of snakes and mice there sounded from the people here. Don't be offended; it's a name sundry leaves while the deathly yelps of fox- we all must go by when we arrive as strangers es kept me wide-eyed and alert. I felt a cer- here. Welcome to the Western Territory." tain disgust for myself, a disgust I thought MICHAEL LACY I'd left behind in childhood. So I pleasured myself again in my dirty rotten lean-to (so as to banish the foolish self-condemnation), but it only worsened. All the night the hollows grumbled, anxious and inquiet. At birth we knock on the door of the Once again in the morning I tried my world, requesting admission through our hand at the oar, but pangs of guilt were cries. We are met, hopefully, by the welcomall I conceived. By noon we'd arrived at ing voices of our parents, the authors of our our destination. In a clearing of enormous being, as we move from darkness to light trees we found a city of brick, three acres of and receive nurturance. Our parents model civilization in this godforsaken jungle. We and mediate in a priestly fashion the tender came upon a young man called Campbell. loving care of God as they collaborate in this He was baby-faced teenager from new creative endeavor. The gymnasium at St. John's College, a school called Deerfield, and it was a damn fine sight to see a known for 100 years as Iglehart Hall, is both pair of slacks and a tie. "Get a temple of the body and a wise and loving lost out there, did you?" He mother. We are enfolded in her loving emsaid with an appeasing brace as we enter her halls, shoes reverently smile. "Home safe now. removed so that we may ingest her milk of Say, are you a February amletic joy. We beckon her with our huntransfer?" I wasn't sure gry cries in the form of squeaking sneakers \. what he meant by it, and bouncing basketballs. We feel her beand I paused before I nevolent downward gaze through the eyes of answered, long enough the scoreboard. Behold the light! Temple Iglehart has a high priest who to see two men sitting on a bench, wearing presides over worship activities and serves dark coats and hats, each as mediator between the human and the peering over newspapers Divine. The guiding masculine energy of Mr. Leo Pickens, the Holy See, stands in imat me. "Sure am," I lied. I quickly picked up what peccable dynamic balance with the essential I could about this place, un- matriarchal energy of the Temple. Mr. Picksure of why I was pretending ens trusts his acolytes to oversee the majority to belong. This was some of Temple activities, but it is his ecclesiastisort of educational out- cal duty to officiate the most sacred worship post on the edge of the activity of all, occurring in the Holy of HoWestern Territory. Mostly lies, that activity being basketball. One of the wonders of sport is that evcollege students, professors, ... and even just anthropo- ery moment of every contest, unscripted as logical amateurs set up base they are, contains the seeds of almost limcamp here and take expedi- itless beginnings. Sport, and basketball is Your Mother is Calling r _, �a prime example, is a continuous creative effort, every moment giving birth to a new reality. In this activity, we are feeding others as well as being fed. Through our play we are at once newborn, parent and priest as we collaborate with the creative, nurturing impulse of the Divine. Athletic joy lies not in the acquisition of success, narrowly defined as winning games or gaining the praise of men. The joy resides in the thrusting of one's whole self into the unknown to experience the bursting of artificial boundaries. This requires trust, a faith. We must trust the game, trust our teammates, trust our competitors, and trust the righmess of the pursuit. As we do this with focused effort and self-abandon, we commune with a higher power which then redefines the self. This requires courage which few possess. For the many, sport is entertainment - a fun diversion from other activities, or possibly a way to serve their vainglorious desires. But for the few, it becomes a revelation. Those valorous few are more likely seen on the men's basketball "B" teams or as members of the Kunai, but let us all partake. In this we may all be Guardians, GreenWaves, Hustlers, Druids and Spartans: that is, Protectors, Nurturers, Providers, Priests and Warri BLEE BARKS ors. Ask Anyone This hell smells awful - of gut cancer and poisoned fruit. My toes fester. My wind sweats. I have the most vivid dreams. Last night, backstage, while filling a pocket of milk with my uncle's marbles, the cat's eye rolled back. I prefer the expected. I'd imagined more space. As this bright splinter, locked beneath its glassy wave, flipped softly distant, the room flowered blue like the bottom of a well, drowned man's blue. Sky is blue in a bright flat way. I yearned for a grove of ilex, cooled by the breath of stone ... I woke - was it midnight or morning? Loitering tapers cast the only dull gleam - in an airless vault, to the beating of birds' wings. Some foul paste, mingled with down, rimed my teeth. My fist held a sparrow, lifeless. My pockets spilled wings, stiff, and at the joint, gristly. I, once the boast and marvel of the fields, am today not even my own ghost. Expert, how can I end this mockery of a life? -Bobo, GI Dear Bobo, Zbigniew Herbert has a poem titled "Apollo and Marsyas," which myth, it just so happens, forms the subject of a forthcoming concept album, "Tang," from freak folk supergroup Axpert Onion, with After the Beep Records. The real duel of Apollo with Marsyas (absolute ear versus immense range) takes place in the evening when as we already know the judges have awarded victory to the god bound tight to a tree meticulously stripped of his skin Marsyas howls before the howl reaches his tall ears he reposes in the shadow of that howl shaken by a shudder of disgust Apollo is cleaning his instrument only seemingly is the voice of Marsyas monotonous and composed of a single vowel Aaa in reality Marsyas relates the inexhaustable wealth of his body bald mountains of liver white ravines of aliment rustling forests of lung sweet hillocks of muscle joints bile blood and shudders the wintry wind of bone over the salt of memory shaken by a shudder of disgust Apollo is cleaning his instrument now to the chorus is joined the backbone of Marsyas in principle the same A only deeper with the addition of rust this is already beyond the endurance of the god with nerves of artificial fibre along a gravel path hedged with box the victor departs wondering whether out of Marsyas' howling there will not some day arise a new kind of art - let us say - concrete suddenly at his feet falls a petrified nightingale he looks back and sees that the hair of the tree to which Marsyas was fastened is white completely (Milosz & P.D. Scott, transl.) Henneneutai, you are Marsyas. The following is dishonest. The riotous piping of your stiff aulos has attracted Truth's cruelty. He peels away your skin so that you may know fire in a soft breeze. Fear not, Bobo. You will die. But see what Order's vengeance gave you. As the story goes, Marsyas won the first round of this musical competition, as judged by the Muses. In round two, however, Apollo flipped his lyre. This a flautist cannot do. While Harmony, reversed or inverted, remains tranquilly himself, smiles and tears spring unbalanced. So Apollo wins, but Symmetry demands a third round, a duet. With the strings of his lyre, Apollo flays Marsyas, drawing sound from the satyr's lungs. Under Apollo's direction, the satyr so exceeds himself that Nature dies with his song. Marsyas dissolved was transfigured into a tributary of the Hellespont. Thus his acute sensitivity to existence both subjects the world to his mortality and draws her ceaseless change into himself. Bobo, just be you. CAROLYN ZELIKOW THE GADFLY, FEBRUAR Y 201 0 7 �THE QUAD Confidenliality al SI. John's-II of Ill An interview with Jerry Januszewski. by Brandon Carney, Class of 2012 Brandon Camey: Can you describe your role at the college? Jerry Januszewski: The college had a counseling staff before I got here, but my particular background was in substance abuse treaunent, addiction treatment, and chemical dependency treatment. It seemed like a good idea to have someone on the staff who had more of a background in alcohol and drug issues. So my job is to see people for any reason but in particular when those problems pop up. Plus, I'm supposed to be involved with any kind of effort to do education or prevention, to bring the conversation about substances to the surface. BC: So you view yourself as more of a aid for students as opposed to an administrator? JJ: Oh, yeah. BC: Can you describe your policy on confidentiality? JJ: All of the normal rules that govern therapeutic relationships apply to me here as with the other counselors with just a couple of exceptions-when someone's a hann to themselves or can actually harm somebody else. Other than that, the only time yoli could ever speak outside of that relationship is if they ask you to. Sometimes that's the case. People have gotten in trouble at the school, and then, I guess, the administrators suggest Strongly that they come talk to me and they [the administrators] want to be informed if they [the students] did and the -outcome of that. On several occasions someone has come in here in hot water or something and we have a conversation and I'm told by them to report back to the Assistant Dean that they were h ere and whether I assess them as having a dependency problem. BC: So you're only required to report back to the Assistant Dean if the student is sent here by the Assistant Dean? JJ: I'm not required to unless the person wants me to, and that's between them and the assistant dean. So if they think it's in they're best interest for me to report back 8 TH E GADFL Y FEB RU , ARY 2010 to the assistant dean then I'm happy to do that, but as far as I'm concerned there's no requirement. Anyone who walks in here, no one in the whole world needs to know they're here. BC: Do you think that the students who ask you to report back to the Assistant Dean assume that your report is going to help their situations with the Assistant Dean? JJ: Yes, I think that's the assumption, and I think it generally does do that. They're trying to comply with what the school's saying. This is where it gets a little weird for me, though- the punitive thing that they're dealing with. I'm not really that as far as I'm concerned. I'm a help part, a therapeutic part. But a person could very easily come in here thinking "I've got to do this to please the Assistant Dean, so I have to make sure he tells the Assistant Dean that I'm here." There's nothing I can do about that, but as far as I'm concerned, as long as they're here, we'll make it productive. BC: Do you think it's a detriment to your effectiveness that the Assistant Dean does send students to you and asks them to have you report back to her about them? JJ: That's a good question because in the whole addiction treatment world, people come all the time under duress-in fact, almost nobody comes there happily. It's been a big question over the years, do you have better outcomes if people come voluntarily or because they're going to get fired or whatever. The answer to that, I think, is that it doesn't matter if they come under duress. In fact, sometimes the people that come with the m ost resistance do better because once they see that this is actually a healthy environment, their defenses can fall away. counselor." It doesn't always have to be me unless it's substance related. My understanding is that it's never, "If you don't do this, you're out." BC: What would you say the ratio of those who are sent to you is to the total number of students you see? JJ: Let's see, I saw twenty students this week, [of those,] maybe two. Very few actually, and again, I wouldn't say that they were sent. They have choices. I think they're required to do community service. That's a requirement, but I don't think this is exactly that. My understanding, in fact, when I got hired- it was a different Assistant Dean-was that "No, we're not going require them to come see you, but they will, probably, because they'll know that we want them to, even though we're not saying 'You have to."' So anyway, it's relatively few, and those are not ones I see for very long- maybe three or four sessions. We have enough time to sort through their feelings about substance abuse, their history of that, where is it in their lives, what benefits does it provide. That's the tack I take: 'What are the benefits of the way you're doing it now, what are the disadvantages? What would be the advantages and disadvantages of stopping or cutting it down?" To work through that it takes probable a couple times. If I think that somebody has a addiction problem, that I will report. Otherwise, if they don't, I'll say to the Assistant Dean, "So and so came" and I won't go into any detail. But if there is an addiction problem, I'll go into some detail. I'll tell her, "I think this person needs stronger intervention." It's purely for the good of that person. BC: What about the requirement that they have you report back to the Assistant Dean? BC: If students knew that on your advise, a student could be forced to take a semester off to get that help, do you think that they would confide in you as much as they do? JJ: JJ: I don't think that it's a requirement. My understanding is that it's n ever, ''You have to do this," it's more like, "If you want deal effectively with the trouble you're now in, it's highly advisable that you go speak to a Well, it's not n ecessarily true that it would require a semester off. T h ere are ways to get treatment an d work it out with school. It's not easy. But yeah, sure, I'm that even those who are telling me the truth are �holding things back. It's very rare for someone with a problem like that to walk in and tell someone the whole truth. Even if they're telling you pretty brutally true things, it's the nature of that problem that they're kind of holding back. So I'm assuming when someone's telling me what's going on with them, there's probably more to be told. I'm easily deceived, someone could lie to me. I'm sorry for that situation because that person's going to suffer more. But I'm sure it happens that someone will think "I've got to fool this counselor because I don't want any more trouble from the school." [... ]* BC: So you're saying that people that come in here and tell you the truth might have to deal with consequences that people that come in here and lie to you don't have to deal with? JJ: That's too hard to say. People come in here totally voluntarily, having no problem with the school, to talk about their substance issue, and some of them I've advised to deal with the bigger problem of their substance abuse. But I'm not going to tell anybody, it's up to them to deal with it. I would never talk to the administration unless that person sitting in that chair asked me to. [... r BC: Do you view the assistant dean and the other administrators as aids for students as opposed to disciplinarians? JJ: I'm really impressed with that here. They are the administrators and I am on the help side. I am not part of the discipline process directly- indirectly I suppose. But even so, I think that they have a very high degree of desire to help. That's my observation. [... ]* BC: How do you think that the students see you and the administrators? Do you think di.at the students associate you with the administrators? How do you think that the students view the assistant dean? JJ: My hope, for myself, is that they see me entirely on the help side. I feel like I'm getting that kind of feedback. If people feel differently, they haven't told me. I would love to know. The other part of that question- the administrators- I don't have a clue really. That's one reason that I'm trying to work up a way that we can do sort of a survey of the student body, to really hear their thought on these things. [... ]* If I can get my way on this I'd like to have a survey tl1at we can do every year near the end of the school year so we can see students' opinions on this as they go through tli.e college. [... ]* ~ *Parts of this interview have been edited for length. {POHi} ALAUD FROM ABROAD TO WHAT'S MOD ON THE QUAD Th.ere once was a Johnnie named Grace Who stayed outside all of her days But one cold night after seminar There was so much snow she said "blarg." "Away with this nonsense, this tired blase- _ said the indubitable reknowned Ms. Hovey, 0 "If we \\·ant to be warm and want to smoke too, - v.-e must find .a way to make an igloo.""Fine," Grace said, with a bow and a smirk She wasn't quite sure how they \\"ould-get all the work But otT1ers came w110 dwelt outdoors The \\·all grew tall and they built a capstoned door. That night they kept vigil in the snow and the sweat Taking short rests and using all the work they could get, They labored for hours, managed their slaves And when morn approached they realized they were safe. For the walls had bee11 built up, o so high And the ceiling was covered so that you couldn't see the sl)·. Mats -they took, from all the dorms So that they could sit on the ground and still be warm. _"There's an igloo on the quad," I said, The aext morning upon getting up from_ bed. No other schools would do this Or if they tried it would be hit -0r miss. But right in front of me _stood the proud igloo And on -rop a brilliant pirate flag flew Inside sat Grace enjoying the 1.\'annth And savori1rg smoking as \\"as her norm. "I have preserved my way of life," quoth she For she th-inks a smoker she must always be What magnificent marvels people do When they think favorite pastimes they will lose! - Virginia Earl:i_ Class of 2Q13 "Everything for the Smoker" Tel: 410-263-2066 Fax: 410-263-4647 56 Maryland Avenue Annapolis , Maryland 21401 shop@smokeshopusaltd.com THE GI Df l Y, f EBRU ARY 2010 9 �W Reviewed by J. Keenan Trotter St. John's is something of a religion for grown-ups familiar with-but not actually graduates of-the College. They love this school so much! They love it because they can't believe in the Ivy League (so much class resentment!). They love it because they can't believe in liberal arts colleges (so much godlessness!). They love it because they can't even believe in state universities (so much drinking!). All of which leaves contemporary grown-ups hoping for something realer and truer than the swaths of crime, sin, and mediocrity that constitute their conception of American education. I suspect this attendant nausea elicited by modern education ("Get Your Degree in Massage Therapy Today!") is why Roger Martin, in the autumn of 2004, at the age of sixty-one, came to St. John's College. His semester-long experience here led to the writing of his memoir entitled Racing Odysseus: A College President Becomes a Freshman Again (California, $24.95). To start off on the right foot, let's be clear: that subtitlewhich suggests that Martin, who used to be the president of Randolph-Macon College, in North Carolina, actually enrolled in St. John's as a freshman-is totally untrue. What he did was audit a seminar (in which he was not allowed to speak) for less than a semester. Nevertheless he decided to join the St. John's crew team, practicing five days a week, two hours per day. Roger Martin spent more time rowing a boat the he did discussing Homer. The problems with Martin's book begin early on, in a scene where his wife is encouraging him to finish the first reading of the year-the first six books of the Iliad. He writes: "Susan is making me feel guilty. Only a 1a THE 6ADFlY, FEBRUARY 2010 month previously Chris Nelson, the presihat chokes Racing Odysseus in the end dent of St. John's College, and Harvey Flauis its total embrace of sentimentality. menhaft, the school's dean,. had agreed to For some reason Martin attends freshlet me enter their institution as a freshman man orientation, which he appears to have so that I could write about the first-year ex- graced just so he could write about it. Oh perience from a student's perspective." dear! Look at the upperclassmen! ("They Alright, first of all, Martin didn't enter St. own St. John's, and the freshmen intuitively John's as a freshman. Again: He sat on the know this.") Look at the staff! ("You idiot," periphery of one seminar two days a week he thinks a staff member named Joy is telland proceeded to dawdle around campus, as ing him, apparently with the expression on he details in the following chapters. If Roger her face. "IDs are for real students, not for a Martin is a "freshman" writing about his sixty-one-year-old college president pretend"first-year experience" then I'm the United ing to be one.") Look at the surroundings! States Secretary of Education writing about (Martin states the first stanza of "The Starmy trip to Mars. Spangled Banner" is engraved on the walls Second of all, with his wife by his side of the Francis Scott Key Auditorium-a deand his refusal to live on campus (or, for tail he mentions not once but twice. Um, that matter, bother with the three other it's painted.) full-time classes actual St. Martin's narrative is John's freshmen attend) it shot through with imseems less and less clear why portant-seeming rememMartin decided his memoir brances of his freshman necessitated St. John's as a year at Denison Univerbackdrop. (In the prologue, sity, in Ohio, where Large amounts of hijinks took he illuminates the fact that he was diagnosed with melaplace. These recollections noma four years before comform the sustaining force ing to the College. Which is of Racing Odysseus. Resad, of course, but otherwise membering them needn't totally unconnected to whathave necessitated Martin's ever he's doing at St. John's.) appropriation of St. John's (its culture and its curricuMoments later, as Martin considers the Ihad's plot, lum) for his own ends. he's distracted by an NBC The . day after orientareport from the extant war tion, when Martin is inRacing Odysseus: A College President in Iraq, an interruption to troduced to class of 2008, Becomes A Freshman Again he stands up. "My name is Martin's enjoyment of the Roger H. Martin Olympic Games: Roger Martin," he begins, "It then dawns on me. "and while in real life I am UNIVERSrIY OF CA!.rFoRNIA PRBSS The Iliad, written 2, 700 a college president, I am years ago, is as much about joining you this semester my world as it is about Homer's. Like the an- as a freshman. Well, not really a freshman. cient Greeks, America can also play Olym- But I plan to write about the freshman expepic games in the middle of a war. I wonder rience, and I hope to get to know as many what else I might learn about my own times of you as I can." from this ancient literature. Will the materiThe "really" fluoresces. What does it al suggest nothing ever changes in the world mean to really be a freshman? If he thinks that continues to be defined by human mis- we are to take his wisdom at face value-that ery and suffering? Or will I find hope that all it is to be a freshman at St. John's College somehow the human spirit can overcome is occasional reading and maybe rowing a the past and that a world free of war might bit-then he's not just mistaken; he's a fraud. Why did Martin deny himself almost evbe possible in my lifetime?" That's quite a paragraph, and we don't ery opportunity a St. John's freshman has to have any particular reason to not take Mar- utterly fail in front of his peers and teachers? tin for his word. A word which basically asks This is the biggest flaw of the book. Martin to us to believe he instanteously formulates allows himself to use the loaded language parallels between antiquity and modernity. of "becoming a freshman" without incurGiven the frequency of things "dawning" on ring the appropriate cost to himself. Being Martin (once every couple of pages, usually), a freshman is about failing, over and over it's difficult to believe these reckonings even again; yet Martin contrived to make sure happened with the clarity and the spontane- he would never be able to fail. (His failures ity Martin would like us to be persuaded by. while rowing, while gut-wrenching, aren't �exactly the failures I'm talking about.) And the fact that the administration at the time ren1ained con1plicit in lviartin's agree1nentit's unclear why Martin is forbidden from speaking in seminar-is particularly strange. Freshn1an year is dedicated to really leami~g what it is you actually feel and d1ink about knowledge, love, sex, war, death, will, destiny, politics, and more. A.nd to deny oneself the primary mode of communication-the literal act of ralking-isn'r only weird. It's disdainful. I would be lying if I said Racing Odysseus is completely. wor~hles·~· 1;fartin has a keen e~e for peculiar details \One tut0r apparentiy uses three translations of the Iliad during seminar) and maintains an openness about the failures of his own youth that stir in the reader a kind of low-level sympathy. It's difficult, though, to mesh his ambivalence \Vith the American college experience with the fakery of the one his own book is based upon. artin's suspending plot is quite weak. It struggles to braid his various personas into a cohesive story. You have Martin the cancer survivo;:, Martin the "student", Martin the rower, Martin the college president, Martin the eighteen-yearold Denison student. Martin doesn't help himself by likening himself, without irony, to Odysseus (thus the title), Achilles, even Herodotus. I can see why he came here: the sense of legitirn.acy that St. John's dispenses gives his book the necessary testosterone~ (Otherwise his Cliff Notes-esque retellings of major works of philosophy and history just wouldn't make sense, would they?) I don 1t think Martin needed us as n1uch as he thought. He obviously possesses his ov.-n library of heartbreaking memories (his father, who went to Yale, pressured lviartin to attend, but Martin knew he didn't have the requisite grades) and the kind perspective rejection and engagements with death deliver to theiT survivors. Despite Martin's emotional repertoire, his book is a failure of tone. He seems almost deaf the subtleties that color human existence, irony in particular. This rneans Manin feels every incident must produce a take--avv"ay, a lirtle saying to ·wTap up the day. Here are some of them: Martin on his life: "The great battles of my life are in the past, and I am wondering what my journey will be like before I arrive at my final destination." Martin on education: "I think that the spirit of the St. John 1s Progran1 [... ] is <.vell worth being emulated by all of us." Martin on r0Vv i:ng: Ro>A.ring is becon1ing a n1etaphor for my life. [... ] But if I just let go, if I -ease up a bit, I might enjoy life a bit more. " Martin on his life, again: "Like Odysseus, I arn. on a perilous journey, full of fonnidable challenges and quixotic adventures." Martin on Plato: "What they are learning from Plato, of course, is chat life doesn't always offer up clear or easy answers." Martin on himself: "I am becorning a fixture at St. John's." 1\1artin on a student he 1neets: 11 Henry is a c.l.i.aracter." Martin on an adult he n1eets: 'Tm glad I accepted Mary's invitation." Martin on a student: "Maia is not only a great coxswain, but an honorable one as well." Marrin on education policy: "Nationally, we are not doing as well as we should in the area of science and math education, but St. John's GTeat Books curriculuE1 is at least one positive response to this challenge." /\.nd so on. Martin clearly has something to say about SL John's College, perhaps as a metaphor for education or today's young people. But this is a faulty transaction for the reader: the most that ever happens plotwise (or anything-wise) at SL John's is Martin catching a crab or otherwise messing up during crew practice. The actual drama happened more than forty years prior, at Denison. This switch destroys Martin's purported seriousness about the endeavor of human life, existence, even failure. (~'hen he s rowing he's not really rowing but-he actually says this-continuing the tradition set forth by the soldiers in The Peioponnesian War.) The whole book comes off as false and tinny. I really wanted Martin to actually be a freshman-to experience for himself the heartbreak, the depression, and the failure that is one's first year here. Instead, he finds \i\'."ays to excuse himself frcn1 even really trying to live like one of us. Martin settles for the simulacrum, accepting invitations to adult dinner parties, living off campus, and eschewing ~hree of the four (or five, if you count chorus, which indeed he also missed) classes. So did Racing Odysseus reap the accolades of publications like the Times Literary Supp!ernent? Because it's Chicken Soup for the Academic SouL When someone like a college president (or professor) realizes his or her life lacks the drama and the danger of the thinkers he studies-v:n:iters and philosophers uncozied by the academy, unprotected from the lives of those around them-he ·writes a 1 11 0 JOCKS ff THE WEEK Miss Hahn and Mr. Bonn THE OHFLV, ftBRUHY 2Q1Q 11 �This week I tried a little experiment to see if people would respond via email to the following question: in one sentence, what is your idea/opinion of Johnnie fashion? Analyzing the (smallish) bevy of responses I got, I found that the question was a better litmus test for the responder's sense of humor than anything else. Judge for yourself: "Johnnie fashion is predictably uninfom1ed. Mismatched shoes and day-sequins are the new wave of the cutting-edge." Paul Morrill "To be recognized as Johnnie fashion, as opposed to USNA or Annapolitan fashion, one must include at least one of the following in their accessories: any wearable SJC logo item, one or more suitably esoteric and dog-eared tomes (known as "great books"), or unusual headgear (such as a bowler, deer stalker, or Mongolian winter hat)." -Jerome "Dausman Primo" Dausman "One might do well to reflect upon Diana Vreeland's reputed observation, "pink is the navy blue of India." -Patricia M. Locke, tutor "Johnnie fashion was designed and marketed by Amanda Macdonald (fonnerly class of 2012), reaping a hefty profit, but it turns out she stole it all from designer guru and secret celebrity hoarder Lindsanity Shoe-han, so she had to flee SJC and go into hiding. She's probably in Australia now, but you didn't hear it from me ... " -Anne Geitz "The outside matches the inside."Campbell "Nothin doin." -Ina Dixon "Fashion?" -Mr. Verdi, tutor "Classic + sassy = eccentric. :) I'm happy that I see so many used clothes-I guess you could say St. John's styles are good for the environment." -Katie K. Christensen, Communications Specialist/Web and Publications "I love the latest goat look, but please trim your groins people."-Chris Johns Though these quotations-like fashion on this campus-wildly differ, I can draw only one definite conclusion: like, two people check their St. John's email on a regular basis. No matter. I have my own opinions about the garbed gargoyles that slink around campus in their tweedy wintertime smoking jackets and little plaid flap skirts, placidly puffing on their meerschaum and clicking their leather oxfords. Poor Evelyn Waugh; he would have never written Brideshead Revisited if he knew his influence on modern liberal arts student fashion would greatly eclipse his contribution to literature. But perhaps I shouldn't get ahead of myself. When I floated the idea of an article about Johnnie fashion in the last Gadfly meeting, there was a collective sharp intake of breath. It's a well-known fact: a Gadfly columnist who pursues the "fashion article" idea might as well sling a moldy albatross around her neck and call it a day. It's the reason why St. John's decided to open Santa Fe; people who attempted such a doomed task needed a place to cloister themselves for a few years until the dander died dmvn. In fact, I can think of only a few more taboos at St. John's that would be worse than writing an article about fashion, such as tackling Euclid for your freshman essay, choosing Heidegger's Being and Time or a Sartre work for your senior essay topic, or crying about your personal life in your seminar/oral/don rag. Come to think of it, I can generate fifty more things that would totally suck if they happened to you here whether you willed it or not. Let's just say that writing an article on fashion is up there. For example, after I tossed out the idea in the meeting, I spent a day in my room reeling from being called "anti-reason" and "retarded." But I still maintain my right to vvrite about Johnnie fashion. Along with the idiosyncrasies that afflict those strong enough to make it four years through the Program, the clothes on campus define us in more ways than we might admit. Think about our next door neighbors-Our Nation's Finest Hope and Joy-the midshipmen. Those strapping, fiercely intelligent young men have been wearing uniforms for centuries now. During the summer and early fall, the pristine outlines of their dress whites dot the red brick backdrop of Annapolis like white blood cells in a bloodstream. They, in their antiseptic uniformity, are denied the pleasure of expression and individuality. Here's my opinion about the matter: "creative" clothing at St. John's presents a contrast to the starched middies who goosestep around this little city, but by no means did the Naval Academy produce our quirkiness. Let me expose my heresy: it is The Program that causes the fashion choices on campus. Without this freedom to turn to our external trappings to satisfy our desperate need for individuality, we would turn into monochromatic automatons who read the same books and talk about the same subjects. When I leave St. John's, my brain may bear vague impressions of the categorical imperative and theories about monads, but it will always remember the overwhelming images of the St. John's Intramural T-Shirt saturated with overtones of rolled tobacco second-hand smoke, body odor, and some brand of beer usually with the word "Natural" in it. I wi.ll remember Stacey Quadmonger and Kitty Backtalk, sniveling about the latest color schemes found in American Apparel, or all of those horrific choices I've made in seminar that ended up distracting DODD ON THE QUAD The Form of Johnnie BY KIRSTIE DODD myself and others. Who could forget the jangly charm bracelet of Augustine's Confessions, gold and black S&C cocktail dress of Metaphysics, and the unsupported, low-cut camisole of a Spinoza seminar? I'm not saying these nightmares taught me more than that night's reading's discussion, but they did highlight how clothing means more to humans than mere utility. After watching fashion on this campus for about four years now, the array astonishes me. I find that the commentary would take a long, serialized edition of Dodd on the Quad-at least 8-10 articles-because of the variety. Think about it: SJC thug cuJ... ture, hipster coumre, the "oddballs," the staunch, proud kilt-wearers, that one guy that insists he dresses like Scrooge from A Christmas Carol (even in warm weather), the New England preppies, the slobs-all would need some serious lip service. I don't have the energy to undertake such a project, nor do I have the cajones to withstand the complaints if I decide to be critical of a particular style. And besides, when it comes to fashion, I have no leg to stand on. .,.._ K1RSTIF Dorm, Editor-in-Chief, Elizabeth Spagnolctti, ]uniar Editor; J. Keenan Trotter, Design Editor; lviarin Skokandic, Business Manager; Noah Litvin, Graphic Artist; Jack Neill. Spot~; l..¥dia Boo:z and /\nnika Schwiebert, Editorial Interns; Brandon Camey, John Blechl, Elsabe Dixon, Virginia Eady, Nora Edge, Michael Lacy, Susan LaRocca, Dave Maher, Maggie Mohr, Christopher Nelson, Sasha Serebryannik, Ri~ ley Spic.er, Carolyn Zdikow, Contributors. FoLJN'DED in 1980, The Gadfly is the student weekly di.-mibuted to ow:r 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus. Opinions exprt!$Sed within are. the sole responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit subrnissions in any \\."aY necessary to publish the most profes.sional, informative, and thought-provoking ne\7>'spaper whid-1 circumstances at St. John's permit. LETTERS of 200 word_.; or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submitted v.ill be edited for grammar, punctuation, and spelling in most cases. Tu GM.fly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circu1nsr<mces. THE GADFLY meets every Friday at 7 PM in rhe iower level of the Barr-Buchana..'1 Ll:nter. _l\u. .<1.RTIO.ES are due at 11:59 PM on Thursdays. 12 m rnm, Hmm 2010 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 12 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXII, Issue 2 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2010-02 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXII, Issue 2 of The Gadfly. Published February 2010. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 32.2 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/cf6c4fb4c6fccdb7cceec546f1082c92.pdf e8d31986e2dea9aa35e351a40a9d81d1 PDF Text Text E E �I have neither read the column by Miss. Gold, nor did I read the initial negative response(s) to [a previous issue of The Gad. fly] likening it to Cosmo. I did, however, read and would like to take issue with the responses to the initial negative reaction. So, I guess I'd be categorized as anti-anti-anti-sex-column, for those who need to fix their ene1nies in place. As far as I could figure out, the anti-anti-sex-column responses expressed the opinion that free expression, especially at our dear college, should be defended. And of course we would all agree with this principle, in principle. But is the free expression in question worthy of decent and intelligent, thinking individuals? Those who'd hide behind Socrates in defending the open airing of sexual issues on campus-please show some class before enlisting such a giant for any cause, people-should remember that he had no patience for certain views regarding sexuality, classifying them as fit only for galley slaves. Correct? Well, then, are we going to accept that any discussion of anything regarding sex is elevating and enlightening, appropriate to our college? Or shouldn't we rather realize that it could also be degrading? Again, I didn't read the original piece, which occasioned this debate, but if its nature was along the lines of "How do I get these stains out of my sheets?" "Which positions are best for toning abs?" or "Will oral sex make my teeth whiter?" then I think the answer is clear: we're in galley slave territory. There are many, surely, who by psychological or moral necessity must believe that any criticism of any sexual conduct, or of the discussion thereof, is the result of closed-mindedness, prudery, bigotry, "sour grapes," or some combination of such pathologies. Such people I'm not going to bother addressing. But to you others, despite my sympathy with the criticism of anything in these pages at 2 THE GADFLY, FEBRUARY 2010 all resembling the content or tone of Cosmo, I'd like to show my sincere acceptance of open discussion about matters sexual by proposing my own list of possible sexual issues to be examined. Some of you may have heard of Camille Paglia. I hope so; she's an original thinker and keen observer. In the aftermath of the Virginia Tech massacre (one of the reasons the murderer gave for his hatred of his peers was their promiscuity), she remarked that sex at colleges is ubiquitous and highly un-erotic. Of course, most people, and even most college students, have no idea what "erotic" could possibly mean except for "of or pertaining to sex," so her observation would make no sense at all. But Johnnies should understand; so maybe some of you who are so eager to shine light on sex at St. John's could discuss whether her observation is true here, and if so, then why? Is the common experience of sex here a rapturous transcending, even momentarily, of our condition as confused men and women of the 21st century, or is it rather a mechanical satisfaction of appetite? Would we agree with the modem psychoanalyst that modem man is in flight from Eros, and that sex is the vehicle for that flight? Or take this question. The data from more than a few studies suggest that sexual activity (at least pre-marital), especially among young women, does not correlate positively with satisfaction with life. You'd think the people who get the most sex would be the happiest, but that's not so at all. Why not? You who are so proud of being sexually active, why are you sometimes, if not often, empty and sad after sex? Why do married women in traditionalist sub-cultures (Orthodox Jews, evangelical Christians, etc.) routinely rate their sex lives as more satisfying than do the Sex-and-the-City types? Or if psychological and sociological analyses aren't your taste, then consider simply the purely physical and biological dimension. Why is it that sex, after all, is rather odd, if not in some of its features, downright gross? Why are the organs we use to copulate the same we use to urinate? And why are we, or so many of us, so fixated on each others' rear ends, like dogs? Is there some message that's been encoded-whether by God or by Darwin, take your pick-in the aspects of sexuality, which make for such good jokes? And why do so many men in sub-Saharan Africa, for instance, seem to feel, much to the dismay ofWestem gogooders who believe that the best way to help the poor of the world is to keep them from procreating and feel strongly, that to wrap one's male parts in plastic is symbolic and in a way very shameful? Is it because they're uncivilized, ignorant savages, who don't realize the surpassing glory of condoms? Or should we all stop and think whether taking such a bizarre step as a prelude to some activity might cause us to doubt that activity's worth? Should taking drugs to prevent a result which is a sign of health (conceiving a child through sex shows that the body's working properly, however inconveniently for us, right?) also give us pause? I highly doubt these were the sorts of questions Miss Gold or her defenders want to be considered, however loud their assertions of open dialogue. But I'd be happy for them to prove me wrong. Greg Yatarola Graduate Student ' At the risk of running the conversation into the ground, I feel the need to respond to the recent flurry of responses on Ms. Gold's sex column. I'm not sure that the argument ever left the ground, or that it was not run into the ground from the get-go, but I want to contribute anyway. To begin with:· I agree that sex and sexuality should be openly discussed on campus. If anyone, including Ms. Gold, wishes to do so in the press, more power to him or her. However, I believe that such a discussion should be pertinent to the community in a way that it is informative, thoughtful, and mature. I do not believe it should be the author's attempt to display pseudo-psychological insight into the nature of sexual positions, which is how I felt Ms. Gold's article came off. As it was her first article, though, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and see what more she has to write. I hope that she, or anyone else who steps up to the pitcher's plate of sex columnist, would have something particular to offer the St. John's communitysomething that reprinting Dan Savage's "Savage Love" column could not. For those of you unfamiliar with his column, I recommend it. Paul Morrill Senior In response to the published comments of ''.A Johnnie" in [a] previous issue, I would like to take this opportunity to thank her (or, more unlikely, him). I came to St. John's thinking that people would take carefully consider each individual particular case before making a generalization or stereotype of the whole. She (or he) has proven me incorrect. Logan Dwyer Sophomore Dear Anonymous, You have been writing to me a lot. I really appreciate the cryptic postcard you left at my door and the letters you submit to the Gadfly. Really, it's great. Continue doing so. There's just one problem. Your version of anonymity is cowardly. If you are going to write anonymously, you can do it A) to protect yourself from physical harm, B) as a way to say anything you want, as long as you leave clues so that we can figure out your true identity �(like hide and seek, it's only fun if you are found), or the strangest of all C) humility, as in you have non-offensive, good ideas but don't want credit for thein. You are none of these. Or I guess D) you are the Zodiac. You're not that either. You, my dear Anonymous, have both praised (kind of) and criticized (definitely) me for openly expressing my opinions. Unlike you, however, I am not hiding behind a mask I intend always to wear. I treat you as an equal, not an unknowable variable. I may disrespect you in my writings, but at least I honor you enough to make myself your willing target for criticism. Please continue to shoot at me, but at least do it from where I can see you. Anonymous Jr. Freshman FANGYPASTA The following is a recipe that can be prepared in Randall dining hall. Take several (6-12, depending on size) pieces of artichoke and 4 baby tomatoes from the salad bar Grill on the panini press While you wait for the vegetables, get a bowl of pasta from the vegetarian bar Add one spoon black olives, one spoon parrnesean cheese (Optional: bacon broken up from sandwich bar) Add grilled vegetab les, mix together. - Laurel Fischer Senior Penis! Vagina! Why They're Dominating the Conversation "Yeah, I mean I hooked up with him but we didn't have sex or anything." ii. How many times have you heard this? Or worse yet, said it? I know I've been guilty of it, and I know I've heard it from lots of people-including Johnnies. But what does it mean? I discovered last year that, at least among certain freshman, hooking up might mean nothing more than making out. But often, it extends to acts like mutual masturbation and oral sex: But that's not sex. Weird! I am going to lay down a simple, inclusive definition of sex. Sex is a group activity involving two or more persons that results in orgasms or, at least, intends to do so. How's that sound? It encompasses a variety of activities with varying levels of risk. Phone sex? Yeah, that counts. Oral sex? Yup. I don't really understand what the big deal is about putting a penis in a vagina. What is that more special than putting it in a mouth or a butt? Further, I don't know why it matters more if you put a penis in a vagina rather than a tongue or fingers. The real difference is that it is only by putting a penis in a vagina that the vagina-bearer can get pregnant. That is, it carries a greater risk for those who do not want to become pregnant. I understand that by saying that -"I don't understand the fuss" I am playing dumb to some extent. Culturally, the idea that sex is something that happens between a man and a woman is pervasive. Lots of religious institutions reject anything other than monogamous heterosexuality as being sacrilegious, and assert that the function of copulation is not pleasure but procreation. Which is good if all you want to do is get married and dutifully produce more of your people, and, if you're Jewish, my parents will be very happy that you are making more Jewish babies because I sure as hell am not helping that cause. Yet most Johnnies who are having sex aren't married and are not planning to make babies. Hence the importance of contraception; hence the piles of condoms in the health center, both lubricated and unlubricated! (Pro-tip: the latter are better for oral sex, since they do not taste quite as gross.) So, even with the concession that there are cultural/religious messages informing our sensibilities, we're still having sex for fun. I'm still not getting the PN (penisin-vagina) emphasis. The other problem with PIV sex is the focus on the, well, penis. Non-PN acts don't "count" because they don't involve a penis. I'm not going to go into some second-wave feminist rant about the penis (or even the phallus) as being an inherent source of male privilege (or whatever) but we definitely value the penis as being more important than the vagina. Those detestable rags like Cosmo (or whatever) are very glad to have ·articles about sex that contain nothing other than unimaginative tips on how to increase Your Man's Pleasure, whereas the few tips for the women are like, try moaning; he'll think you're really enjoying it! Given the numbers of women who report they never or seldom reach orgasm, it's not like there's a glut of information on the market. Maybe if we start considering all sexual acts to acrually be sex instead of some weird sexual thing that somehow isn't sex we can have more intelligent, informed conversations about what we want and do not want. I don't mean to sound like a mom or a prudish sex-ed teacher lecturing on how it's important that we consider things like oral sex and manual stimulation to be sex because you shouldn't do any of these things. So long as all parmers involved want to be involved, by all means, go for it. But if we talk about sex as something that just happens between a particular pair of genitals we reinforce heterosexual privilege as well as trivialize the sex we are having, PN or otherwise. EMMA GOLD THE 6AOF LY, FEBRUARY 2010 3 �THE QUAD Confidentiality at St. John's-HI of Ill An interview with Susan PaaLman. by Brandon Garney, Glass of 2012 Can you describe your role as the assistant dean at the college? BRANDON CARNEY: SusAN PAALMAN: I think the assistant dean is here in order to facilitate students' journey th~ough the college. I'm less focused on the academic matters though I do some academic things. I'm more focused on certain personal matters-health, safety, and welfare. It originated, I've been told, when women first came to the college. This was originally a "dean of women" kind of role, and then it sort of turned into somebody to kind of facilitate other aspects of life for the students. What I try to think about as I do my job is how to help the community ~n itself. That involves a lot of different aspects for various situations. BC: What is the assistant dean's relationship with the alcohol counselor? SP: Well, all of the counselors are under the assistant dean. So they're all employees of the college and I'm their boss in a way. In another way, I'm not a counselor, so I'm not the kind of boss that oversees what they're doing. I see it more as we work together. If I hear of students that might benefit from them, I talk to the student, I might mention a name to a counselor if I think it might be some one they should hear about. The counselors also help me out if there is somebody that has some kind of situation that they just need to talk to somebody about. They have their privacy and confidentiality concerns as well as I do-we all do. We have to help each other out, but also be aware where the line is that shouldn't be crossed. 4 THE GADFLY, FEBBUARY 2010 AB counselors they can't divulge content of any students conversation without either the permission of the student or if there is some kind of imminent harm or threat. So those are the two things that they have to abide by. So Jerry works under those same rules the only difference is that he tends to deal with situations that are more related to substance use and abuse, though not exclusively. He talks to anybody who wants to talk him. BC: Do you ever send students to the counselors, the alcohol counselor in specific? SP: Sure. There.might be a case in which a student is having troubles of whatever sort, and this has always been the case, it might be something that I recommend the student to do or it might be something I require the student to do depending on the nature of the situation. If it's a requirement, then it would be written out. The student and I would talk about this, and I would write it out so that it was very clear-what the requirement was, and what kind of things they need to do. Those kinds of requirements come in various forms depending on the situation. It might be simply a requirement to go talk to the counselor. It might be a requirement to talk to a counselor and come up with a plan together, and then fulfill that plan whatever it turns out to be. It might be a requirement to go to the counselor and give the counselor permission to talk to me. Those are various possibilities that come up from time to time. It really just depends on what the situation is-what is best for the student and for the college to resolve the situation. BC: So you can require the student to allow the counselors to divulge information to you? SP: I can make that a condition of them continuing at the college. BC: Do you think that that undermines their roles as counselors? Do you think that that impedes their ability to help the student if the student knows that they have to have the counselor tell you things? Do you think that that will result in them withholding information from the counselors? SP: If a student's in that kind of situation, this is not something that just comes about randomly. The student has put his or herself in that situation because of things that have happened. The student is making a choice. If the student wants to remain at the college, then they have to go through and do what makes sense to me. I talk about it with the student and make sure the student understands why that is, what the requirement means. If the student ends up lying or withholding things from the counselor, it's not a good situation. It's not helpful for the student to resolve whatever problems they're facing. It's not helpful for the counselors to be able to make a good judgment. I guess I can't force anybody to do anything. I can only make the kind of judgments that I think are in the best interests of the student and the community. It's up to the student to do the best they can. And I think our �students do generally. It's a group of people that's very thoughtful about their own behavior and how what they do affects other people. BC: Do you see the office of assistant dean as an aid for students or as the role of disciplinarian? SP: I like to think that I am helping people. I think, in the end, my job is to help this community run itself. Sometime that requires disciplinary action. Discipline is teaching as well. It's sort of helping somebody to rule themselves. It doesn't always come to that. There are many, many things I do. Probably most of the things I do have to do with giving advice or helping some one through a situation. Helping them take the steps that they want to take, they just don't know what to do or something happened and they're not quite sure what it is. Most of what I do is not in this realm of consequences and punishments or discipline. I'm a tutor. The assistant dean comes from the ranks of the tutors. I teach; this is what I do. I don't leave that behind when I'm trying to talk to somebody who's broken some rule or gone too far. I try to work with that person to help them understand what is going on. It may be that that student and I simply disagree, and then I just have to m.ake my best judgment, my best decision. BC: How do you think the students view the assistant dean? SP: I don't know. I guess you could probably be a better judge of that than I would be. The people who come in here, many of them are coming in for help. I hope that they view me as some one who can help them. Many others are coming in because they've been summoned for some reason. I've been really pleasantly surprised. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised. As a tutor, you see the great potential tlnt the students have. Classes are just great, it's really a lot of fun- talking about the books, trying to work through everything. I guess I really didn't know how · or whether that would change when talking about more personal issues. I've just been really happy to see tl1at students come in here as people of integrity trying to work through things. I feel in general that I've had a good response from the students I've talked to. I'm sure there are plenty of people wondering about what is going on. You've told me and other people have told me that people are talking about various decisions that I've made or that other people have made. I think that's great; it's part of what make us a good community- people are really interested in what goes on. ~ It's easiest to steal from a person in a shower. • • Paul Morrill Ask Anyone Dear Expert, This hell smells awful-of gut cancer and poisoned fruit. My toes fester; my wind sweats. I have the most vivid dreams. Last night, backstage, while filling a pocket of milk with my uncle's marbles, the cat's eye rolled back. I prefer the expected. I'd imagined more space. As this bright splinter, locked beneath its glassy wave, flipped softly, the room flowered blue like the bottom of a well. I yearned for a grove of ilex, cooled by the breath of stone. I woke-was it midnight or morning? Loitering tapers cast the only dull gleam- in an airless vault, to the beating of birds' wings. Some foul paste, mingled with down, rimed my teeth. My fist held a sparrow, lifeless. My pockets spilled wings, stiff, and at the joint, gristly. I, once the boast and marvel of the fields, am today not even my own ghost. Expert, how can I end this mockery of a life? -Bobo, GI Dear Bobo, Zbigniew Herbert has a poem titled "Apollo and Marsyas," which mytl1, it just so happens, forms the subject of a forthcoming concept album, Tang, from freak folk supergroup Axpert Onion, with After the Beep Records. The real duel of Apollo with Marsyas (absolute ear versus immense range) takes place in the evening when as we already know the judges have awarded victory to the god bound tight to a tree meticulously stripped of his skin Marsyas howls before the howl reaches his tall ears he reposes in the shadow of that howl shaken by a shudder of disgust Apollo is cleaning his instrument only seemingly is the voice of Marsyas monotonous and composed of a single vowel THE SI DFLV, FEBRU ARY 2010 5 �\ Aaa in reality Marsyas relates the inexhaustable wealth of his body bald mountains of liver white ravines of aliment rustling forests of lung sweet hillocks of muscle joints bile blood and shudders the wintry wind of bone over the salt of memory shaken by a shudder of disgust Apollo is cleaning his instrument now to the chorus is joined the backbone of Marsyas in principle the same A only deeper with the addition of rust this is already beyond the endurance of the god with nerves of artificial fibre along a gravel path hedged with box the victor departs wondering whether out of Marsyas' howling there will not some day arise a new kind of art - let us say - concrete suddenly at his feet falls a petrified nightingale he looks back and sees that the hair of the tree to which Marsyas was fastened is white completely (Milosz & P.D. Scott, transl.) Hermeneutai, you are Marsyas. The following is dishonest. The riotous piping of your stiff aulos has attracted Truth's cruelty. He peels away your skin so that you may know fire in a soft breeze. Fear not, Bobo. You will die. But see what Order's vengeance gave you. As the story goes, Marsyas won the first round of this musical competition, as judged by the Muses. In round two, however, Apollo flipped his lyre. This a floutist cannot do. While Hannony, reversed or inverted, remains tranquilly himself, smiles and tears spring unbalanced. So Apollo wins, but Symmetry demands a third round, a duet. With S THE GADFlY, fEBRUHY 2010 the strings of his lyre, Apollo flays Marsyas, drawing sound from the satyr's lungs. Under Apollo's direction, the satyr so exceeds himself that Nature dies with his song. Marsyas dissolved was transfigured into a tributary of the Hellespont. Thus his acute sensitivity to existence both subjects the world to his mortality and draws her ceaseless change into himself. Bobo, just be you. CAROLYN ZELIKOW REAL NEWS IGLEHART-Phil Army and David Campbell Lozuway-McComsey [sic] unveiled their Kunai team name and jerseys. The recently dubbed Kablamazons (nee Amazons), captained by Kaura Mackey, Megan Field, and Rachel Ulrich, all wore their new t-shirts. Many said it was their new favorite garment. Army and Lozuway-McCornsey, who bought the team at Meet Market, said, "We are hoping our $4 20 investment will pay off. We think the revenue from the team should cover tuition next year since we're broke." The Kablamazons made good on the investment by winning in double overtime by four points. This is thanks to Mary Johnson, who kept it tied in the first overtime by scoring not one but two points, out of a team total of not one but two points, and Rachel Hahn, who scored all four points in the second overtime. The final score was 35-31. They beat a team wearing the primary color yellow. In other news, Editor-in-Chieg Kirstie Dodd tells Campbell she will not publish his recent article about Manhood. She gives no reason. She, also, refused to publish his article two weeks before; more understandably, it was a theory about her love for him, which is an inherently flawed theory. She also told him to find some real news, as in stuff that happened to write about, rather than writing about things he finds interesting and/or thinks will upset The Polity. Campbell thinks but does not ask, "when is the last time Kirstie Dodd wrote an article about events that happened at SJCA? Oh yeah, never." -Campell Freshman �DODD ON THE QUAD 'em, blackjack, craps ... you name these three, and they got 'em! Out of all the casino games, craps is my personal favorite . Popularized by the Creole gambler-dandy Bernard Xavier Philippe de Marigny de Mandeville in New Orleans in the 19th century (I'm not making this up), it boasts low house odds like blackjack and bacarrat (a stupid French card game). That means that you will lose less money over an extended period of time At breakfast last Thursday, a group of than if you were to play Caribbean stud haggard, bleary-eyed seniors huddled over poker, Keno, or slots. Craps needs neither their plates of imitation eggs and greasy cards nor a complex roulette apparatus. It bacon in cafe Randall. can be played in the streets or on the fancy "It's like we have post-partum depression green felt seen in casinos. And it, oddly or,something," commented Megan Field, enough, is a lot like seminar: a bunch of in reference to completing the senior essay people hanging around a table, slinging writing period. A number of other seniors ridiculous jargon left and right, cheeks nodded their heads in assent. "It's so hard flushed with camaraderie and the exciting to get up and go to class in the morning." promise that something lucky will happen. This feeling isn't localized in one class; The rules are simple. Everyone around the seniors' second semester torpor is the table placing bets is gunning for the spreading to the underclassmen. The soiled "shooter," the one who tosses out the igloo dominating the quad has unwitdice. Bets are placed on either the "Pass" tingly become the tragic symbol of the or "Don't Pass" line before the first campus' seasonal depression. In a phone roll, or the "come out" roll. For interview on Sunday, junior Greg House a bet on the "Pass" line, if the also expressed his frustration: "The snow is : shooter rolls a 7 or an 11, you retarded. I [feel] [overwhelmed]. I'm lookwin; if the shooter rolls a 2, 3, or ing forward to Lola's. No, I'm not looking 12, you lose. Any other number forward to Lola's- who am I kidding? " becomes the "point" number, Not this girl, Greg House. I know for a which the shooter must roll fact you've never even been to Lola's before. again before he or she rolls You've got to give it a chance. In the party a seven-what is commonly smorgasbord that the spring "party season" referred to as "crapping has to offer, Lola's is by far the best way to out." If the shooter rolls the shake the inertia and ennui out of one's point, you win even money. If snow-seeped limbs. Consider the average the shooter rolls a seven, you Reality party, where you are only able to lose everything. Further, dependglut yourself on a mere handful of vices. ing on the type of odds one is At Lola's, with the added component of playing, and throughout the course gambling, you can flip cards and shake dice of the game one can place individual bets all the way down to the Inferno. Texas hold on rarer dice combinations like "boxcars" An Ode to Craps BY KIRSTIE DODD (double sixes), "snake eyes" (double ones), or any of the "hard way" pairs bets. Or you can play the field bets, which are a 50-50 chance, and individual numbers like eights, nines, and tens can be played after the "come out" roll for a multi-roll bet. When I play blackjack and Texas hold 'em, I feel like I need a pair of sunglasses, a dirty baseball cap, and a degree from MIT. When I play craps, I feel like a Bond girl with a fake mole, a mink stole, a long cigarette filter. If you choose to try your luck at this Lola's, remember a few key things about the craps table. "Gambler's fallacy" eventually usurps the brain of everyone who plays. If you stand there long enough, you will begin to disregard the statistical probabilities for each dice combination, and you will start to think the numbers have feelings and memories- that certain shooters, methods of shaking the dice, and even the stickmen are out to get you. Try not to let this superstition sneak in too early. Second, there's no sense in ever betting on the "Don't Pass" line for the come out roll if you are a beginner. Third, and most importantly, you will eventually lose. Just play long enough so you kick those winter blues. ...._. THE 6ADFl V FEG RUAR V , 20 10 7 �THE GADFLY 60 College Avenue A.'lnapolis, Maryland 21401 United States of America Edito;-in-Chief Kirstie Dodd Junior Editor Elizabeth Spagnoletti Design Editor ]. Keenan Trotter Business Manager Graphic Anirt Spots Ir.terns Contribu.tor.s Marin Skokandic Noah Litvin Jack Neill Annika Schweibert & Lydia Boaz Campbell Brandon Carney Emma Gold Laurel Fischer Sophie Michelewicz Paul Morrill Greg Yatarola Carolyu Zelikow F o'.mded in 1980, The Gadfly is the student weekly distributed to over 600 smdents, faculty, and staff of t.1-ie Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the sole responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves die right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish the most professional, informative, and tlicught..provoking newspaper which circum.. stances at St. John's permit. Letters of 200 words or less have a better chance of being published than those longer. Letters submit.. ted will be edited for grammar, puncruation, and spelling in most casq. The Gadfly is not obligated to publish all submissions except under special circumstances. Tne Gadfly meets every Friday at 7 PM in the lower level of the BarrBuchanan Center. All articles are due at 11:59 PM on Thursday. The Gadfly recommends Strunk & 'White's Tne Elements of Style and the Cbcago Manual of Style to you, the Polity; your usage of semicolons may benefit. Tel: 410-263-2066 Fax: 410-263-4647 8 m GADFL1, Hmm 2010 56 Maryland Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 shop@smokeshopusaltd.com � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Dodd, Kirstie (Editor in Chief) Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XXXII, Issue 3 Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2010-02 Description An account of the resource Volume XXXII, Issue 3 of The Gadfly. Published February 2010. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly 32.3 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource text Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Gadfly Student publication