24 20 5655 https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/b4ccaa67447dd146eaa040a8b1ada172.pdf a7defdefa7114cd33acc482cfc216759 PDF Text Text Friday Night Lecture St. John's College, Annapolis September4, 1998 What, then, is Time? Eva Brann When our dean asked me to lecture this September it was because he had heard that I'd just completed a book on time, and he thought I might like to talk about it. He was right, and here are three possible kinds of profit that, on thinking it over, I figured might come to you and to me if I gave what I guess one might call a book report. First, even if the writing of books is a few decades off for most of you here tonight, it turns out that writing papers and annual essays is not so different from writing books, and I thought I might be able to tell you something useful. In fact I'll do it right now. \Vhen the time comes to write, whether it's a small paper or a long annual essay, never think: "I've got to write this thing! Help! I need a paper!" Instead search your soul for a question you have nursed for quite a while, whether articulately or inarticulately, somethingj:hat bothered and puzzled you, something that might be very intimate but is capable of public expression. Then flip mentally through the books you've studied, or the music you've sung, or the theorems you've proved, or the experiments you've re-enacted, and ask yourself which have a bearing, taken in the largest sense, on your issue. What will happen next is the result of a mixture of concentration and luck: some paradox or analogy or some other significant array will jump out at you. Seize that and slowly pummel, stroke, and shape it into an articulate order. Of course, none of that can happen at 1 �the last minute. For looking into yourself, for calling on your studies, for finding a crystallizing moment, for working all of it into a well-shaped' whole, time is of the essence. My second thought was that time is one subject concerning which it does not matter whether one is a freshman finishing the second week at the college or a senior beginning the fourth year, or even a tutor who has taught most of the program. Stormy love is not a pressing issue to all ages, nor is looming death, but there is, I think, no one, at any time of life, for whom time does not become a problem in some way or other. I know this from experience. Of the things that have urgently interested me from time to time, the mention of Being and Non-being, for example, provokes mostly stupefied non-interest, the mention of the Imagination elicits an account of people's favorite fantasy series, but the mention of Time gives rise to intelligently companionable puzzlement. People have a different relation to the question concerning time than to other deep matters, which they are either willing to bypass as too obscure for their taste or to treat with the most unreflective but familiar particularity. The title of this lecture -- and of my book -- is "What, then, is Time?" It is a quotation from the most famous sentence ever written on time by the man who was most deeply immersed in its elusive familiarity, Augustine. It comes from the eleventh book of his Confessions, which we read in the sophomore year. Here is the \vhole sentence: What, then, is time? If no one asks me, I know; if I want to explain it to the questioner, I do not know. My own concern with time started from two ends at once, intellectual puzzlement and deepfelt irritation, and it developed, as really good questions do, from annoyed fascination to serious interest. The intellectual puzzlement was just that expressed by Augustine: What sort of a being, if it was a being, could be so handily familiar in daily usage and so fugitive to the grasp of thought? Here I did as all my fellow humans do: I make time, kill time, manage my time, waste time. To be sure, I've never "done" time, though but for the grace of God I might have. I know that time heals all wounds and ravages all the beauties of the world. 2 But if I ask myself what it is that does this, I �see and touch nothing and think of less. That is at first just a puzzling and then an engaging state of affairs. The irritation I experienced had a superficially different source. In all the departments of life people talk of time as a force or a power, not just in the sort of dead metaphor that makes up the unconscious poetry of popular usage, as in all the phrases cited above. No, they mean it literally, especially when they are talking of the so-called "phases" of time. "Phase" will be the most important word in this lecture. It is my word -- different authors use different words -- for the three parts of time, past, present, future. Perhaps I should have said the three parts of human time, for I will argue that only human, or human-like, beings have pasts and presents and futures. It is the future with which these people mostly play infuriating havoc. They say and they inean that there is a future coming and our business is to form a reception committee for it. Some see this Future with a capital Fas a doom, as in Yeats's great poem, "The Second Coming": And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? Far more of our contemporaries see it cheerfully as a benefactor, though a totally manipulative one: It is the Information Age or the Global Age or the Age of Megacorporations, you name it, and our duty is to be ready or to be run over by time. They engage in what I call to myself proactive passivity. This time-mode -- the adjective, incidentally, is "temporal," so I will say, this temporal mode -- strikes me as paralyzing the human will, and that is one form of immorality. So besides the intellectual desire to understand the nature of time and whether it is a being or a nothing, I also began to think about time in its human effects. Almost everyone who has lived for some time has neat observations about these effects. For example, I have been at this college forty-one years or almost fifteen thousand days. Sometimes it seems like forever and sometimes it seems like a day. What accounts for this mad elasticity of time? But besides these timernminations there is also that sense I have of the important moral consequences of not thinking about the nature of time, about accepting what seem to be abuses of our phase-nature. In fact, a new hero of mine, Octavio Paz (whom I did not in fact discover for myself but through one of our 3 �Mexican alumni, Juan Villasenor) put my thought much more expansively than I would have had the courage to do. He says in his book on India: I believe that the reformation of our civilization must begin with a reflection on time. Recall that I am still laying out the possible profit of telling you about my book, and here is the last one, chiefly to myself. Imagine what a pleasure it will be to come on campus and to be able to fall easily into a conversation about this magical subject with some proportion of the people that live and learn here -- with the more virtuous part, I might add, those who come to Friday night lectures. Now let me tell you of two discoveries or devices -- it's always hard to tell whether it's one or the other -- about which the book crystallized. One was the discovery -- and I became persuaded that it was a discovery, was really there to be found-- that writers on time who lived millennia apart in time and who were worlds apart in thought were at crucial moments driven into the same understanding, or at least the same problem. Once I had discovered one such pair of time-twins I came on three others. And finally I came to believe that amongst them they pretty well established the perennial possibilities and the pertinent problems concerning time. In a moment I will tell who these writers are and what deep notion each pair shares. But let me say here that it ' was a blessing to find such a principle of selection. For it is hard for most of us to think about these enigmas without help. The trouble is, there is too much help on offer. I own a bibliography of time which tells of nearly two hundred thousand books and articles written between 1900 and now. Of course, much of it is piffling, but much of it is, I am sure, though!1'ul. I chose four great writers, and they paired quite naturally with four more, and by good luck these are the eight among the ancient and modern writers generally agreed to have the deepest theories. The pairs, then, are Plato and Einstein, Aristotle and Kant, Plotinus and Heidegger, Augustine and Husserl. Since many of you will not have read them, though all but Husserl are on the Program (and he ought to be), I'll present their time-theories as simply and as unencumbered by terminology as possible. But I'll omit completely telling you about one pair, Plotinus and Heidegger, because it is too tricky 4 �to do, although their similarity on the point of time is most spectacular in view of their diametric opposition on everything else that matters. The other discovery was that a human effect which never ceases to enchant me, namely the images that arise before the mind's eye in our imagination, had a certain remarkable similarity with our sense of time, a formal sort of similarity. Images are absent presences or present absences; they are not what they are, they are made of Being and Non-being. What I mean is that any image, but particularly a mental image, presents someone or something not actually present. To imagine an absent friend is to have him there, but not really. Time as well, it turns out, has this curious character of being and not-being, of being there but not really, of being present only in its absence. My all-time favorite time-saying is by the priceless Yogi Berra. When someone asked him: "What time is it?" he replied: "You mean now?" It is the wisest of answers, because you can't tell time, and yet we do. It is always and never Now. So the book began to have two parts. One part was a study of these eight philosophers for the purpose of seeing what kinds of answers could be given to the question "What is time?" and what problems were inherent in the answers. But studying, while a help to thinking, and for most of us an indispensable help, is not thinking, since to understand what others think is simply a different activity from the thinking that goes directly, without intermediary, to the question. So in a second part I tried to go directly to the question, having absorbed all the help I could. Therefore in this lecture, too, after telling what some of the best writers I could find have thought about time, I will try to tell what I think. I should say right now, lest you be disappointed, that what I conclude first and last is that it is a true mystery. I mean a potent effect whose characteristics are poignantly clear but whose nature is finally unfathomable. You can specify a mystery but you can't resolve it. If you have a huge field of apparently possible answers to a question, it clears the decks somewhat to begin by removing the answers that are simply unacceptable. In thinking about the ways time is spoken of, it seemed to me that whatever else is said, time is spoken of either as 5 �occurring in nature or as being within the human being. Time is either external or internal, or perhaps both. External time has attracted by far the greater interest. Time is written of in religion, where it is a great question how an eternal God acts in created time. Time is treated in history, where it is a great question whether the times make history or people do. But above all time is a great subject in physics, where the best-grounded and most remarkable theories of time are developed. Without question, the physicist who has done most to make other physicists and people in general think about time is Einstein. The work I chose to examine is his 1905 paper on what came to be known as the Special Theory of Relativity. \Vhat struck me first was that every mention of time was in quotation marks. This habit conveyed to me that I was dealing with the most careful and thoughtful of writers, one who knew that time in physics is a most problematic notion. Einstein says right away: It might appear possible to overcome all the difficulties attending the definition of "time" by substituting "the position of the small hand of my watch" for "time." And in fact such a definition is satisfactory .... At least it is satisfactory when we are talking only of time here and now. Before Einstein, physicists had believed what everyone believes: that it is the same time throughout the world, that every other Here simply has the same Now as my Here. This situation was called simultaneity and was regarded as a chief feature of external, I mean natural, time. Einstein goes on to show that for any stationary Here far away from my own, it takes some calculating to synchronize our watches. And when we are moving relative to each other one of our most entrenched senses about time is overthrown, namely that what time it is is independent of our state of rest or motion. Einstein's theory turns out to have to do entirely with the measurement of time -- what my local clock and your local clock tell under different physical conditions. That is why Einstein puts "time" in quotations: He is warning us that not the nature of time but its measurement is at issue. Now I'll jump back two and a half millennia and quote to you what is the most famous, . most often cited definition of time. It comes from Plato's dialogue called Timaeus. Timaeus is a 6 �made-up character, a visiting physicist. He and some of Socrates' friends have planned an amusement for him. On the day before Socrates had produced for them a picture in words of the ideal political community -- some people think it is the one set out in the dialogue called The Republic. Now Timaeus will reciprocate by painting for Socrates' entertainment the cosmos, the ordered world within which such an ideal city might fit. In the course of giving a mathematical account of such a cosmos, Timaeus says this about the way the maker of the world introduced time into it: He planned to make a movable image of eternity, and as he ordered heaven into a cosmos, he made an image of that eternity which stays one and the same, an eternal image moving according to number. And that is what we call time. What Timaeus is saying is that the heavens move like a great cosmic dial and that this motion allows us to tell time. So the mythical early physicist and the greatest of modem physicists are saying the same thing: Time is what the clock tells, in one case the cosmic clock, in the other a local watch. And so say all working physicists in between. It is a working, a so-called operational definition of time, and it works just fine -- until you begin to think about it. That time is what the clock tells is what one might call a dispositive definition. It disposes of time as an issue. But if you turn it around and try to say that the clock tells time you're in trouble. Time never appears on the face of a clock. Nor does it appear anywhere else in nature, ever. All other natural phenomena appear somehow to sight or hearing or touch. Of time not a trace. What does appear is motion. An analog clock is a standard cyclical motion. A digital clock " is a standard progressive motion. Clocks are calibrated motions. There is no time actually used in physics and none that actually appears in nature. There is much more to be said about this shocking claim, and I'm sure you'll want to argue it out in the question period. Among other points then to be made, the seniors, who have read Newton, might want to point out that Newton, at least, does stipulate true natural time, an equable flux that comes before motion. And I would answer that it is not only as physicist but also as theologian that Newton 7 �puts time into nature. For this so-called absolute time, which has no <:>bservable features, is probably not so much in nature as in God's mind, in that part of God's mind, called his "sensorium," with which he is receptive to all of nature, its infinite spaces, its primary forces, its ultimate bodies. My point at the moment is, however, only to reinforce a conclusion I came to: Wherever time is seriously considered, mind, soul, consciousness and sensibility come on the scene. Time can only be internal, meaning within a mind, possibly God's mind. So I disposed to my own satisfaction of the vast majority of theories of time. Intricate and interesting as they are, they are really theories of motion, not of time, and they don't tell what time is. But time is the sort of subject for which every settling of the mind in one respect is punished by a complementary problem popping up in another. You can, and I think you have to, take time out of nature, b·ut I am not so perverse as to claim that the outside world isn't full of variations: locomotions, processes, alterations. The mystery that has now popped up is that we have no idea what is really going on in this time-deprived world. Let me show you what I mean. Human time, internal time, will be distinguished by its phases, past, present, future. But nothing in nature, except perhaps the near-human mammals, apes and dolphins, has a past or a present or a future. Edwin Muir says in a poem called "The Animals": But these have never trod Twice the familiar track, Never turned back Into the memoried day. All is new and near In the unchanging Here .... Animals and sticks and stones do not have a past, though they might be scµd to be their past. But I, for one, just cannot imagine what it is like to live in the unchanging Here and not the have memory, how such a being gets itself into and out of existence, in short how anything can change without having phases of time. But then again the effort is love's labor lost: Hmv could I have empathy with, feel my way into, that which has no inside? So the outer world becomes in this 'fespect opaque, and this is the price to be paid for making a philosophical choice. In corning to conclusions in philosophical inquiries, I want to say as an aside, it is always a matter of what we 8 �can best live with for the time being -- which is why all philosophy as carried on by human beings is ultimately moral philosophy. There is perhaps a solution to the timelessness of nature. It is a commonplace for writers o.n time that there are two kinds of time. They might be called succession-time and phase-time. Phase-time is dynamic in the sense that the human present, about which time breaks into past and . future, continually shifts -- as Yogi Berra's counter-question, "You mean now?" makes clear in its unavoidable absurdity. Succession-time, on the other hand, is static. It is merely the endless chain of before-and-after, established once and for all. It' is time all by itself, no one's time, the time of all events taken only with relation to their succession and to nothing and nobody else. Perhaps nature does have its time, succession-time. But even the successions of nature tum out to be more intelligible as causal than as temporal sequences. This is the moment to introduce Aristotle, who produced the first extensive treatment of time ever, in Book Four of his Physics. Here is what he says time is: Time, then, is not motion but that by which motion has number. Aristotle seems to be making spectacularly short shrift of that mysterious power, time. It is nothing but an attribute of motion . Then he says what sort of attribute: Time ... is the number of motion with resnect to before and after. L 'What th~ deep meaning of all this is can't come out unless we follow up what Aristotle means by motion, number, before-and-after. But we might guess at two problematic elements of this understanding of time. . The first, which is by far the less deep of the two but is endlessly dis~ussed, is this. If time is the number of motion as a progression in which the parts come before and after, if it is in fact the succession-time I just introduced, it must somehow share in a chief feature of motion, namely continuity. Physical motion borrows this feature from the fact that it takes place over distance. Distances are representable as mathematical lines, and these lines, as the freshmen have just begun to see, must be continuous -- no elements can be missing. So time, as Aristotle himself 9 �emphasizes, is continuous, like a line. Wherever you cut the line you get a point that belongs to both parts of the cut. This point is the Now. Time is in every way like a line of geometry: It lies upon its points, each of which is a Now. The only difference is that the geometric points are static, whereas the Now moves forward, ever the same in its features, ever different in temporal location. But as you know by now, a point is that which has no parts, so the Now has no parts . .Therefore it has no extent, no bulk, no force, no presence. Therefore the point-Now of the mathematical model of time is as far removed as anything can be from the humanly experienced present, which is vivid, full, and altogether the most impressive phase of time. Insofar as time is continuous it is not very human. But then Aristotle has also said that which will make time totally discontinuous. For time is a number by which motion is counted, and a number is a collection of completely discontinuous units -- there is no way one unit can be tangent to another. Motion, locomotion at least, is bound to distance and borrows from that fact its continuity. But number is bound to something else which reinforces its discontinuity. Many things in the world are collections of items. Aristotle mentions herds of horses and flocks of sheep. Other things, such as distances of all sorts, can be marked off into artificial units. All these things have a number that belongs to them. But nothing in nature gets its number unless someone is counting. Aristotle says that it is the soul that counts. So time, in order to be the number of motion, requires a wide-awake counting soul. Now I shall say a sentence, or rather a question, which is underlined in my typescript: When the soul is countin2. does it take time to do it? Does it get its numbering from some motion? What distance does that psychic motion cover? Aristotle is in big - and I must say unacknowledged - trouble. Time in nature is only the number of motion, but what is the counting that announces that number? I don't think he knew, but perhaps in the question period someone will make his case. Now let me leap two thousand plus years ahead. For Aristotle time originates with the counting soul. To my mind, Aristotle's true modem successor, the one who takes Aristotle's 10 �thought and turns it thoroughly and precisely upside down, is Kant. Here is an aside: This kind of inversion of thought, so that it is the same in name but utterly different in significance, is the chief moving force of the philosophical tradition we study at this college. By "force" I don't mean some magical attribute of the passage of time, but the way of proceeding that is congenial to those immersed in this tradition. At any rate, whatever time is, if it has power it has it only as an aspect of human consciousness. Back to Kant. You will be relieved to hear that I do not plan to tell you what is in the Critique of Pure Reason, Kant's founding book, although everything in there. is sooner or later related to time. In any case, the Juniors will be studying it in spring, and it is that which makes February a month of delights. Instead I will focus on a few sentences which show what it is that brings Kant so very close to Aristotle in the letter, though he is worlds apart in meaning. Kant regards time as a constitutional part of our receptive capacity, our ability to take in what is given to us. Such a capacity is called "sensibility," and we are so made that whatever comes to us, the world of nature especially, comes in the form of temporal sensibility. The Critique is a great work of philosophical art, and I omit the many factors that feed beautifully into rounding this notion out, in order to concentrate on just one thing: When we ask what it means that nature comes to us in the form of time, the answer is that whenever we think about nature we begin by noticing quantities, and we do that first of all by numbering-- not top-of-the-head counting, but a deeply interior kind of beating out of units that add up into a number. Here is Kant's word on what is happening in this counting: "I generate time itself .... " So Aristotle and Kant agree that time is a kind of psychic beating or counting. It does not save Kant from the question I asked of Aristotle that he calls time a form of the sensibility. Is this form, I now ask, itself static or is it fluid? If it is static, how does it produce the psychic flow of pulses? If it is fluid, is there yet another time behind Kant's deep constitutional time? Let me say right now that all the authors who put time within the soul run into this trouble. And those who put the origin or ground of time outside of the soul run into other and worse troubles. 11 �Both Aristotle and Kant have been primarily interested in what I have called successiontime, the steady chain of before-and-afters found in nature, though apprehended by our counting. Now is the time to speak of human time, phase-time. To my mind, Augustine is the greatest writer on time -- and the most beautiful one. Here's another aside: Very broadly speaking, philosophers come in two kinds, those who inquire serenely and hopefully into a subject they long to know and believe they can approach and those who question severely and disenchantedly a matter they think is ultimately hopeless. Augustine certainly has travails of the soul, and I would not be unfair to call Husserl, who takes up two millennia later exactly where Augustine had left off, a fusspot. But both are not so much driven as led by faith in their subject, and I want to say that these are the philosophers I trust and prefer to be with. Augustine wants to know what time is because it is the human counterpart of God's eternity, the eternity of the God he has just found and acknowledged. But there is nothing exalted about his questioning -- it is very down-to-earth. He loves to sing hymns, and the question is: How do I measure times, the long and short syllables, the lengths of the stanzas? Distances are easy to measure. They stay put while you lay a measuring stick alongside them. But the moment slips away, the past is no longer, the future not yet, and there is no way to lay a time-stick along an elapsed time. Lengths measure lengths, motions measure motions -- what measures time? Here is his answer, as I said, to my mind the most illuminating thing ever uttered about time, a new discovery, as he himself says: Time is nothing else but a stretching out, though of what I do not know. Yet I marvel if it be not of the mind itself. Our mind or soul is distended and that makes it capable of holding time, so to speak. How distended, how stretched? Here is Augustine again: This then is clear and plain, that neither things to come nor things past are, nor should we properly say: "There are three times, past, present, and future." But probably we should say: "There are three times, a present of things past, a present of things present, and a present of things future" .... The present of things past is memory, 12 �the present of things present is sight [or perception], the present of things future is expectation. So we can measure times gone by and times to come because they are now present to us. But the solution of the measuring problem is the least of it. What Augustine has done is to tell what makes a human being temporal, how time is in us. To be human is to be present and to have things present before or within. Yet another aside: Certain so-called postmodern writers, ta19ng their departure from Heidegger, think that this is a very derivative way of approaching human Being and that to think of human beings as containing presences within and confronting things present without demeans the originality of existence. But Augustine does think that to exist is both to be in the present and to be in the presence of things. Augustine's book on time in the Confessions is preceded by a book on memory, and this book is the indispensable preparation for his understanding of time. For there he shows how we can also be in the presence of absent things: We have the whole spacious world, its fields and palaces, within us, not, however, the things themselves but their images. Here you can see how the imagination, as a power for making the absent present, is essential to our inner sense of time. For with it we can have memory of past times and also expectation of future things, since expectation is a forward-directed imagination. And since much of what has happened to us is now present to us or is now recoverable, we can not only measure time somewhat as we do space, which is all there simultaneously. We can also see how our mind is a temporal image of God's mind, who holds all creation toget~er there at once, in the eternal Now. a To be human, then, is to have mind so stretched that it encompasses in its present both memory and foresight. One way to depict that condition is in a diagram like a coordinate system. The horizontal axis is the time of the world, of Creation; it is succession-time. God knows how it works; we don't. Astride of this horizontal coordinate sits a vertical stretch of line, our mind. ·Where the two intersect is the moment of sight, of perception, our point of intake for the world. The segment below 'represents remembered events, dropped out of sight but not out of mind. The 13 �part above represents the dreams and plans we now have for the future -- and that is all the future that actually exists. As the world passes by, our memory line grows longer and our expectation line shortens. Then one day it ends. Husserl, who actually draws diagrams of this sort, in fact marks one of his lines as the "tug towards death." It is not, however, one of the axes he is marking in this way, but one of the oblique lines with which he connects the horizontal axis of succession-time and the vertical axis of phase-time. These oblique lines show how each perception offered by the horizontal successionline sinks away into vertical memory in an orderly and continuous manner, without any scrambling or dislocation. Husserl's time-diagrams are clever and complex, and I had a lot of fun -- fun bordering on agony, that is -- working them out. But I didn't give you any handouts, because then you'd be trying to figure them out now instead of listening; I should know. Many of you will not have heard of Husserl, and I'll say just enough for my purpose. He is the founder of a way of inquiry called Phenomenology. Its chief feature is that is excludes all questions of existence and reality, such as whether time is real. Instead a Phenomenologist pays attention to the appearances within consciousness, articulating and ordering them. Our sense of time is a perfect subject for Phenomenology and Husserl's lecture-series known as The Phenomenology of Internal Time-Consciousness is the great first-fruit of his method. Husserl makes hundreds of acute observations, but his main advance on Augustine is to puzzle seriously over the extent of the present. Recall that the point-Now of mathematics is too skimpy to live in, but consider also that an extended present is going to be part past, part future. Husser! finds a way, fairly technical, to show that there is a discernible immediate past and an immediate future that are so bound in with the present as to give room, so to speak, for perception, so that there is time for a time-sequence, say a melody, to be taken in. He shows how the present has time for the world to impress itself on us. One last word about Husserl. The horizontal axis, which represented the world's time for Augustine, represents an internal time-flux, a continuous sort of subjective succession-time, for 14 �Husserl. For he is withholding all claims about the reality of the world and its time, and attending only to our inner experience, to our internal time-consciousness. In trying to understand this internal flow Husserl is drawn into questions beyond Phenomenology. The question that finally preoccupies him is the familiar one: How can this flux, which is one aspect of our sense of time and for him the deepest, be spoken of? Are we fluid through and through, or is this flux grounded in a stable form? But how can a fixed form be the source of a flow? Husserl, a man who is willing to admit ultimate perplexity without losing faith in the worth of his problem, says: For these things we have no names. · Now is the time for me to say what I think time is -- maybe it would be more sensible to say "how time works." I thiiik that phase-time is the fountain and origin of all time. Every phenomenon of time is derivative from the fact that we have past, present and future. To me the most astounding circumstance of our temporal life, surpassingly strange but apparently unavoidable, is the crux and center of the three phases: the present. All that is ever real for us, all that is really there, really present; occurs in these point-by-point moments of presence. This is the instant of perception when we see and hear and touch the world. The rest, the long stretches behind and before, is absence -- what has gone by and what is yet to come. Human life would therefore be very pointillistic and poor if present existence were all we had. Happily there are ways of being that are even more potent than present reality and momentary existence. There is the actuality of imaginative memory and of imaginative expectation. The present of perception is the point of intake for the novelties that the world offers to our senses, but the past and the future are also present to us as images, as memories of things past and plans for things to come. These are the present actualities, the powerfully present absences that give coherence and resonance and significance to the moment They also make it possible for us to measure time directly, not by observing external motions as of the hands of the clock which never displays time at all, but by the thickness of the image-pictures we flip through or leap over to get to 15 �moment from which we want to estimate a stretch of time. Our memory is like a laminate of transparencies or a carousel of slides, and my claim is that this accumulation we call the past and this projection we call the future is what produces our inner sense of time. And this thickening of the present by past and future is what Augustine calls "the stretching of the mind." Now note that I have described the present as punctual, instantaneous, momentary. And this description seems to be supported by the observations of all kinds of people, perhaps poets above all. The Nows that matter are somewhat isolated - instants of recognition, moments of meaning. In his book The Labyrinth of Solitude Octavio Paz calls the Now "explosive and orgiastic" and wonders how it fits into ordinary historical passage. But much of the time of our lives passes in seeming continuity, and this sort of time, the time that seems like a continuous passage, usually called duration, has to be accounted for as well. I think it works as follows. Our present appears punctuated by the ever-varying world and our perception of it. Now . we see our friends, now they've disappeared around the. corner; now we hear one note, now another. But there is another time experience that we become conscious of when we are deprived of most external sensation or when our inner images are pushed out of sight by fear and anxiety. Or we can deliberately close off our senses and empty our minds to concentrate simply on our inner duration. What then comes to the fore is a sort of inner pulsing, the very beat of our mere consciousness, empty life itself. I am trying to describe the soul's aboriginal counting that both Aristotle and Kant discovered. This inner beat then is the origin of that succession-time that is mirrored in the before-and-after of physical motion and that plays so large a role in our practicaL life. Now most of the time we are not taking note of this pulse, or paying much attention to our inner life at all. The beats recede and merge as in a long perspective; time's passage appears continuous and acquires all the characteristics and problems of a line in space. Then, 16 �retrospedively, time is thought of -- not felt -- as a continuum that is continuously cut by a pointlike Now, the kind of Now in which nothing can happen. So my description of time, which leaves time as what I call "a well-specified mystery," ends with the point-Now. And that is where a review of the various pathologies people attach to the phases of time begins. I'll give the sketchiest summary of our time-troubles, partly because time is short, partly because every one of us has a lot of personal experience with this aspect of time, and it will make a good subject for the question period. One way, then, to think of the way people wreak havoc with the perceptual present is that they treat it as a mere, point-like Now, monotonously empty and featureless, while racing unrestrainably forward. To try to live in this Now is to long to fill it with strong stimulation and increasing novelty. Now-life is the pathological counterpart of present-life. Similarly some people deprive themselves of the image-filled memory that gives the present its anchor of significance by rushing to keep up with novelty and trashing not only their own past but that past which their communities have in common, their external memories. And finally, some people are so dominated by a future that is supposedly coming at them that they give up what they really care about to make themselves into ready servants of this oncoming power. But according to my understanding the future is nothing but the dreams and plans we currently have, and as far as the humanly-made world is concerned, nothing is coming but what we actively or passively agree to. It is that passivity which is, to my mind, the greatest time-pathology. Arid now time's up. 17 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Description An account of the resource Items in this collection are part of a series of lectures given every year at St. John's College. During the Fall and Spring semesters, lectures are given on Friday nights. Items include audio and video recordings and typescripts.<br /><br />For more information, and a schedule of upcoming lectures, please visit the <strong><a href="http://www.sjc.edu/programs-and-events/annapolis/formal-lecture-series/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">St. John's College website</a></strong>.  <br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="Formal Lecture Series" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=5&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the St. John's College Formal Lecture Series—Annapolis Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection.<br /><br />A growing number of lecture recordings are also available on the St. John's College (Annapolis) Lectures podcast. Visit <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/st-johns-college-annapolis-lectures/id1695157772">Apple Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/6GDsIRqC8SWZ28AY72BsYM?si=f2ecfa9e247a456f" title="Spotify">Spotify</a> to listen and subscribe. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Title A name given to the resource St. John's College Formal Lecture Series—Annapolis Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context formallectureseriesannapolis Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 17 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource What, Then, Is Time? Description An account of the resource Typescript of a lecture delivered on September 4, 1998, by Eva Brann as part of the Formal Lecture Series. <br /><br />Brann's lecture is based on her book <a href="https://rowman.com/ISBN/9780847692927/What-Then-Is-Time">What, Then, Is Time?</a>, published by Rowman and Littlefield in 1999. <br /><br />The typescript of the lecture was reprinted in <a href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/show/553">The St. John's Review, volume XLV, number 3 (2000)</a>. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Brann, Eva T. H. Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1998-09-04 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College has been given permission to make this item available online. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource Time Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context LEC_Brann_Eva_1998-09-04 Deans Friday night lecture Tutors https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/a5e353c1f1f70e7e355a4bb12d2653ec.pdf 1c88700236281615e14da8849c6b9046 PDF Text Text T H E C A M P A I G N F O R S T . J O H N ’ S C O L L E G E A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL EVA BRANN �{ T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL E VA B R A N N } �3 Eva Brann has been a tutor at St. John’s College in Annapolis since { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E Contents 1957, serving as dean from 1990-97. A Jewish immigrant from Berlin, Miss Brann went to Brooklyn College and later earned her master’s in classics and a doctoral degree in archaeology at Yale University. At St. John’s, she is one of the college’s longest-serving and most respected tutors; she has been a mentor to students and tutors alike, 1. Unique and universal? • page 6 2. We have one Program; do we have one expertise? 3. • page 13 Is the “how” of our teaching connected to the “what”? • page 16 and a model for the “examined life” the St. John’s Program encourages. Miss Brann has written many books, including Open Secrets / 4. How do we choose and evaluate our tutors? Inward Prospects: Reflections on World and Soul; Homeric Moments: 5. • page 26 How do we select and monitor our students? What is their life like? • Clues to Delight in Reading the Odyssey and the Iliad; The Music 6. What are the relations between tutors and students? • page 37 of the Republic: Essays on Socrates’ Conversations and Plato’s Writings; The World of the Imagination; What Then, Is Time?; and 7. What’s wrong with us? The Ways of Naysaying: No, Not, Nothing, and Nonbeing. Miss 8. What kind of institution does our Program require? • page 40 • page 43 Brann’s many honors include her selection as a 2005 recipient of the National Endowment for the Humanities’ prestigious award, the National Humanities Medal. 9. What are the essential features of our Program? • page 48 10. What is the St. John’s Seminar, the center of the Program? 11. What do we do in the tutorials? • page 58 • page 65 a. the Language Tutorial b. the Mathematics Tutorial c. the Music Tutorial 12. How does the laboratory fit in? 13. What do we want from and for our students? • 14. What do we wish for – and see in – our alumni? Illustrations by David Johnson page 67 • 15. Postscript: A small college and those that love it. page 70 • page 72 • page 52 page 31 } �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 4 Introduction 5 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } prospective students, inquiring teachers, and close friends, for example – and alumni. These are the same issues sometimes seized upon by critics of St. John’s: the choices In this essay, the college’s longest-serving tutor, Eva Brann, explains what on our reading list, our requirement that tutors teach across the curriculum, and a St. John’s College is and why what we do is important. She describes the college as, practice of not including in our classroom discussions the historical, cultural, and paradoxically, “unique and universal,” because St. John’s persists with its singular social background of the texts we read. and distinctive academic program while holding to an ideal of education that is meant to apply to all humankind and has, in fact, resonated throughout the world. These questions grant us the opportunity to reflect upon the integrity and wholeness of the Program. We believe that the best way to learn is to confront the texts of In no way is the college perfect, Miss Brann acknowledges. Many aspects of the the greatest minds of our civilization, with nothing between us and the work, not even college, for instance, the breadth and depth of the reading list, represent both our tutors. Yet, we recognize how important it is to have tutors who bring both intellect greatest strengths and our most daunting challenges. And yet St. John’s continues to and imagination to their discussions, and who understand how to frame a question attract international attention, welcomes scores of visitors to its two campuses, and is that will open a world of ideas from a simple passage. called upon to offer seminars to many different groups outside our college. What we Our books and our program demand more of us than, in truth, we are capable of consider a very simple and natural way to teach – cultivating in an individual the achieving. It is this stretch in our search for truth, however, that allows us, as a ability to formulate questions and begin the search for answers – intrigues many who community of learners, tutors helping students, students helping each other, to come to know St. John’s because of the intellectual honesty of our endeavor. We don’t achieve some measure of greatness. That all of us at the college continue to have faith pretend to be something we’re not. On the other hand, our ways are not easily in this endeavor is perhaps to be celebrated above all. adapted for just any college or university, nor do we have a “method” that can be defined in pedagogical terms. As we launch a campaign to strengthen and secure St. John’s College, we are thankful for this clear vision of what liberal education is. In answering fourteen questions that get to the very heart of the college, Miss Brann explores issues that are interesting to both curious observers of the Program – Christopher B. Nelson (SF70) President, Annapolis �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL 1. } 6 Unique and univ ersal? 7 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } When people first hear of what we do they can scarcely believe their ears. We invite them to come and see. The campus is always swarming with prospective stu- How can a college be one of a kind in reality and nonetheless a possible dents and curious visitors. If they are familiar with other institutions of education, model for higher education in its conception? – because that is how we at St. John’s do here are the main differences they will observe: indeed think of ourselves. We are a distinctive community very much shaped by particular people and places, yet we have faith that our way is broadly applicable to other institutions of learning. All small institutions – colleges particularly – rightly think of themselves as 1. We go back behind the modern departmental division between humanities and sciences to an older ordering: authors and arts. 2. The Program is all-required and non-specialized; thus there are no departments at all and practically no electives. unique. All professors cherish their special qualifications along with their students’ 3. Every faculty member teaches all or almost all the parts of the Program. Conse- budding individualities, and the far, dry winds of Kansas blow differently over a cam- quently, we are amateurs rather than professionals, and we mark this fact by calling pus than the close, moist breezes of South Carolina. Uniqueness is, oddly enough, ourselves “tutors” rather than “professors.” what they all have in common – from Chicago to Colorado Springs, from Poughkeepsie This country used to be a boiling pot of curricular reform and innovation. Most of to Santa Cruz – all sixteen hundred or so, belonging to that distinctively American the “alternative” curricula of the last century have come and gone. They were con- species, the small independent school. Each has its own variation on the standard ceived as experiments with the possibility of failing – and they did fail. university plan of departmental offerings, arranged broadly under humanities and sciences, from which students elect their courses. The St. John’s Program was never thought of as experimental. Young souls are not meant to be the subjects of try-outs. From its founding in 1937, its teachers had faith St. John’s College is differently different. We too have our gallery of faculty char- in the Program as the best way known to them to educate young Americans in partic- acters; an English friend says that visiting the college is like stepping into an English ular and all human beings in general; the Program was universal in conception. In fact novel. We even have two uniquely beautiful campuses under different skies. But we it has resonated in the wide world. When I was dean I received inquiries and visitors differ seriously from the conventional variations of other schools in having one single from Madrid to Tbilisi and beyond. So rather than watch the curriculum fail with plan of education, our Program. Whereas other colleges’ uniqueness consists of their personal regret but intellectual equanimity, we would think that some central pivot of internal variety, ours derives from a coherent curriculum. civilization had been lost, should the college disappear – and it won’t, now. �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 8 I have often wondered what we had that other remarkable schools didn’t – Black Mountain College in North Carolina for instance, or the Experimental Program in Berkeley, California. I think what we had was the Program: Our community was from the first built not on assertive personalities and unstable curricular notions but on a strongly grounded plan of learning, pretty nearly the same that we still follow. In an educational world in which commonality is regarded as oppressive, we are sometimes chided for having the confidence, not to say nerve, to submit ourselves and our students to a set study plan. But we think it is a faculty’s responsibility to devise an integrated curriculum for its students’ learning rather than to engage in turf battles in favor of departmental specialties. Moreover, anyone who has lived in a working community knows that it can’t survive without some healthy egocentricity, some sense of being at the center of the world. Who would devote a life to anything less? Our more sober colleagues do continually warn against the notion that we are the world – and they are half-right, for there are many good things we are not, and many other places in this country about which the world also revolves. The brute reality is that we have in fact remained one of a kind. There is, to my knowledge, only one other four-year college devoted to a Program in part modeled on ours, but with a significant difference: Thomas Aquinas College in California has a strongly Catholic integrated curriculum, while St. John’s College has been from its chartering in 1784 (a wonderful date, the first year after the Revolution) a school not enforcing on its students “any religious or civil test, or urging their attendance upon any particular religious worship”; we are now in fact completely secular. And as Madison CHARLES DARWIN �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 10 11 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } so rightly predicted for freedom of religion, religious interest of every sort flourishes the product of long hours of faculty deliberation, all designed to protect the free at the college. How we read religious books will be worth a paragraph (see p. 70). engagement of our intellects and imaginations – and, of course, our hearts. The real Why have we, who think of our Program as a model of liberal learning which is especially at home in America, remained all but unique in this country? The United States, motion, the real freshness, in this school comes not in doing new things but in doing the old things better. For our founding ways are inexhaustible in their possibilities. as former dean Robert Goldwin has written, was the result of an almost miraculous con- Undoubtedly we are an establishment, an institution. An establishment of learn- fluence of streams of luck. This college, too, needed a lucky concurrence of events to ing is something of a contradiction in terms, since real learning is a radically disestab- come about: a pair of founders, one, Scott Buchanan, well versed in the whole liberal lishing activity. Strange as it may seem, it is that untrammeled inquiry we are trying to arts tradition, the other, Stringfellow Barr, possessed of administrative talent; a cam- protect with our multitude of established practices. But in the course of maturing we pus on offer; a general spirit of revival for liberal education as exemplified in Alexander have become more and more our unique self. So how can we serve as a model for other Meiklejohn; and finally a European emigration which brought people like Jacob Klein, communities of learning, especially when in our hearts we believe that numbers are who fell in love with the intelligent naiveté of America’s young and brought the learned nothing and what really counts is that here and now one young (or old) soul should see depth with which to effect a second founding, placing under the inspiredly practical something that makes life worth living? Program a philosophical grounding. There was, moreover, the opportune return of the Well, we have obligations to the country that allows us to function, and the public World War II veterans, who were superbly serious students, and above all, a faculty will- that supports us, and to our own two cities, Annapolis and Santa Fe. And we feel an ing to conform themselves to a plan, not the plan to themselves. And this Program they obligation, born of our sense that we know something worth knowing about learning, committed themselves to had an aim and an apex: the ardent pursuit of knowledge and to American education. So we engage in lots of outreach: give free access and help to truth, or as the Greeks say, philosophia, “the love of wisdom.” visitors who want to see us at work, advise prospective founders of schools all over the By now the “New Program” of this old college is itself quite venerable. At seventy world, help committees with curricular reforms, aid teachers with planning courses, years it and its faculty can be said to be mature. We fine-tune it continually, and some- send out reading lists and manuals, explain the Program to people writing disserta- times even make what seem to us world-shaking changes, but viewed, as philosophers tions and books, and go anywhere to lead all sorts of seminars: for high school stu- say, sub specie aeternitatis, “under the aspect of eternity,” they look minuscule. dents (though I once did one with four-year-olds, two of whom had crawled under the Around the stable curriculum have developed zillions of traditions and practices, each table whence they gave enchanting exegeses of a poem on sunflowers), for business �13 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } and community leaders, and of course for our alumni, whose appetite for reading books together is lifelong. In fact, our principle is to do everything we can do without spreading our substance too thin. 2. A LBERT E INSTEIN We h av e o n e P r o g r a m ; d o w e h av e o n e e x p e r t i s e ? It is a question worth asking because, as I will explain, our way of teaching requires that we be and remain, deliberately and purposefully, amateurs. (We keep in mind that the word means “lovers.”) As I said, we call ourselves “tutors”; it is our single academic rank and the title is meant to replace “professor,” which means a professional who has special expertise and the authority that comes with it. All of us arrive with graduate training, but we must let our particular interests go to learn the Program. (I myself, for example, was trained as a Greek archaeologist, yet I haven’t looked at an antiquity – pots were my specialty – in scholarly earnest for half a century.) There is, however, something we all get to be good at, perhaps even specially good: asking questions. The questions we learn to ask – it is one criterion for being a tutor – are not so-called teacher’s questions, such as a pedagogue asks pupils to see if they’ve studied up: “What was Achilles’ mother’s name and where did she live?” – to which the meek answer is “Thetis, in the ocean,” but the spirited answer is: “Why ask �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 14 15 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } me, since you already know?” Nor are they information questions like “What time is believe that the impetus behind the question is the hope of an answer, as a possible it?” to which Yogi Berra’s immortal reply was “You mean now?” Nor “yes or no” ques- answer draws and shapes the question. In fact St. John’s differs from very nearly all tions, like “Tell me true, is there or is there not Truth and Beauty?,” which could be secular schools in having a faculty that either believes in the real possibility of truth or the ultimate conversation-stopper. in the pedagogical value of not foreclosing that possibility. Another way to put this is Our questions are the expression of a genuine desire to find something out by proposing it for a common inquiry, the kind of question tutors might ask themselves when that you will find no easy relativism among us; our relativists are hard-thinking and fiercely honest. they study by themselves. Such a question is a kind of empty envelope, a vacant grasp, It should go without saying that to believe in the possibility of truth-seeking is the concave outside of the convex inside, an undeveloped negative, a receptive open- the very opposite of having the truth or propagating it. We never tell our students ing. All these metaphors circumscribe a good question, a searching question. In a dia- what to think. In fact, then it wouldn’t be thinking. We don’t even drive them to logue by Plato called the Meno, which many of us regard as the scripture on question- question their beliefs, for “questioning” in the aggressive sense isn’t question-asking. asking, Meno poses the question of questions: However can we ask after truth? If we Our questions are intended to incite thought, which might result in putting stronger have it we needn’t ask, and if we don’t have it we won’t recognize it when it turns up. grounds under the faith students come with or indeed, sometimes, in exposing a belief Meno means to stymie Socrates’ inquiry; Socrates has two defenses at once. One is: as ill-grounded. Never mind, just go ahead and search. The other is: Question-asking and answering is In the same spirit of non-coercive openness, there is frequent discussion among the most characteristically human activity there is, and we must continually consider tutors about the kind of question that is best for a seminar discussion: Should it be not only how to do it well but also what in us makes it possible. Here is in germ what mil- based on a tutor’s interpretation of the book carefully worked out in private (with the lennia later will come to dominate philosophy and cognitive science as “epistemology.” perhaps not so unintended consequence of pushing students in that direction), or This is the kind of problem tutors think about and the kind of questions – questions should it express a current perplexity on the tutor’s part (with the likely, perhaps even in search of truth – they are, I think it is not boastful to say, unusually good at asking; it is something like our local expertise. Some of our friendly critics claim that we are too good at it – that our students come ignorant and leave confused. But it is not so. I don’t know any teacher who doesn’t desirable, result that students will be a bit at sea)? The central venue for questions is the seminar, of which more later (see p. 52). �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL 3. } 16 17 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } Is the “how” of our teaching want to talk together about what they’ve learned in private; by nature, the young, if connected to the “what”? not spoiled, like to grapple with what is hard but great. Our business is to get out of the way without giving up our responsibility. Of St. John’s does seem to have two aspects: the way we teach and learn, and course we teach; even Socrates is talking hyperbole, for his companions in fact the matter we set out for ourselves and our students. Both of these are distinctive. think they’re being taught. But – I’m looking for the right word – we do it cannily and Friendly explainers of the Program often refer to our use of the “Socratic method” tactfully. We try to keep students focused and spontaneous, both. It’s tricky and and to our list of “Great Books.” Members of the community cringe a little on both absorbing. I think every tutor, even those who’ve taught here a half century, has stage counts. Here is why. fright before every class, largely because we’re not in complete control, and yet we’re completely responsible. a. How we teach: One obvious concomitant of our way is that we are very reticent with our opinions Whatever it is we do, it’s not according to any method. A method is, properly, a rule- – at least in class. Outside of class I, for one, will pontificate if a student wants it. I recall, governed process, and we adhere to none such. And it isn’t Socratic, not only because when I was dean, three woman students making an urgent appointment with me about Socrates claimed to have been no one’s teacher but because the Socrates we know an important matter. The matter turned out to be what I, personally, thought about occasionally drives people into a corner with his questions – which we never do, at God. We had a candid conversation – for me a real workout. Thus reticence expresses least not without feeling sorry. Yet he is in some respects our model: in rarely telling itself in being sparing with talk in class and conversationally open outside. but often asking, in valuing acknowledged perplexity as the starting point of learning, in having utter faith in the possibility of truth. The reason our teaching is not a method is that it’s just a bit of nature. We do what comes naturally: encourage thinking by asking (everyone here knows that you can’t A number of ways to approach a book require lecturing. One is for the teacher to produce a critical theory into which the book is fitted. It is not entirely unfair to say that this is sometimes the art of making the difficult unintelligible, because academic theoretical language is often willfully abstruse. We don’t do that. “teach people to think”; such taught thinking is just that simulacrum of thought, The other, more common, method is “backgrounding” or “contextualizing.” In rule-driven reason). By nature, people, if not corrupted, like to rouse themselves to this approach the teacher “introduces” the student to the book by telling how the communicative expression; by nature, people want to hear each other; by nature, they book can be understood according to the author’s historical and social background. �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 18 We particularly don’t do that, for at least two reasons. It does require lengthy lecturing, by the end of which the students’ minds are so remote from the text that little a teacher says next can recall them, and to paint even a somewhat plausible historical setting requires enormous knowledge on the part of the professor – always supposing that the discovery of historical truth is a finite endeavor at all. But even if an author’s epoch were accurately definable, how would it help to understand the book? Many of our writers are overtly or covertly embattled with current opinion and think with rebellious originality about the human condition. So talk of “Greek” or “Medieval” or “American” thought is grossly unilluminating: How can a people or an epoch think? Persons think. I spent a part of my youth studying the Attic pottery of the late eighth and seventh century B.C., the richest evidence we have of Homer’s time – and I have no non-speculative idea what it was that any or all of these people thought about anything at this generative time when the Western tradition was born. Abridged, not to say canned, introductions are mostly compendia of current preoccupations and brave attempts to bring a book closer to students by drawing it into their supposed circle of interest. But this is counterproductive: What arouses interest in students is not currency but authenticity – if it is allowed to reveal itself. So we tutors at St. John’s believe – all of us most of the time – in directness and immediacy; we put nothing between ourselves and the reading and behave as if every one of our books was indeed an open book to our students. I call this the “a cat may look at a king” principle – these royal books were written for us, the willing laity. JANE AUSTEN �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 20 21 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } I think that this way of ours works in many settings and for many subjects. It is, as and ourselves to consciousness – by reading them not as historical documents but the term goes, transferable – an approach we can tell about and demonstrate to as living presences that made us who we are and taught us to talk as we do. We are teachers anywhere. convinced that these Great Books contain a live wisdom necessary for thinking out our current lives, for living awarely. Those who read these books – or study texts of b. What we teach: symbols or scores of notes or canvases of paint – in our way often experience the But this way of dealing directly and immediately with texts works most naturally for disciplined magic of these revivals. the so-called Great Books, well over a hundred of which we read with our students through their four years. Some colleagues are embarrassed by that appellation; it sounds too pat. But in I think it is hard to get away from the Great Books designation for the simple reason that “greatness” has real significance for us. It is the criterion by which we have chosen our hundred-plus works – based in part on these millennia-old lists. truth, Great Books lists have been labored over for millennia. Ours represents a kind of Here are some of these criteria: Greatness shows up as inexhaustibility. Some of us Western consensus of the ages. In Santa Fe’s Graduate Institute there is a Master’s have read and reread our books for ourselves or in preparation for class over scores of degree program in which the Eastern Classics are studied, just as they ought to be – years; there is always more to discover. A bored tutor is rare; a bored student is, more with serious language learning. With our undergraduates, however, we stay in our often than not, just prey to one of the endemic dis-eases of late adolescence, among West: “One thing at a time” and “Know thyself” are the guiding principles, especially which is complex sloth. the latter; for knowing ourselves, how we came by the terms we live with, seems to be the first condition for a knowledgeable appreciation of other traditions. This point of view, that to know ourselves we need to know our tradition, is, I Second, these works are pretty self-sufficient. Writers of stature strive to be as context-independent as they can be. They tell you what you need to know to understand them. Good editions with pertinent notes will do the rest. hasten to say, different from “historicism,” the notion that we are the products of Third, and most telling, these books are original in two senses. They are often the impersonal historical forces, the blindly determinist effects of a dead past. We want earliest version of something new that will sweep the world, when it was still close to its nothing to do with what is dead and bygone. When we speak of our “tradition” we mean roots in common experience and accessible to lay people. And they are original in the individual works by thinking authors that have, to be sure, shaped contemporary life in sense of being characteristic, of bearing the stamp of their author’s personality – not only ways of which we are largely unconscious. But we can bring these works back to life – their personal crotchets and idiosyncrasies, but their peculiar ways of reaching depths. �23 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } Fourth, these works are infinitely artful, bold and subtle, beautiful by design or ugly on purpose. These authors are masters of the liberal arts that are a large part of our Program. F YODOR D OSTOEVSKY Fifth and finally for present purposes, the works, though their message may sometimes be dismal and dark, are not themselves dreary or depressing but grand and redemptive. We have a sense that this four-year gift of semi-adult freedom that parents make to their children should not be spent on mediocre documents of societal problems and their academic solutions – the world will soon teach all that – but on the deepest, most exhilarating exemplars of human achievement. The principle here is: First have acquaintance with the best, then face the worst. In this adherence to Great Books we are somewhat out of sync with the universities – less so as the pendulum of opinion swings back. In the last part of the last century there arose a movement sometimes called the Canon wars. “Canon” with one n, nota bene; it is a Greek word meaning a rule or standard and now used most generally to refer to Great Books lists. An attack on the Canon was mounted for these reasons: that no work is to be privileged as great; all writings are essentially mere documents composed to confirm an elite in its dominance, be it one gender, one class, one continent. Moreover these screeds really have no individual author, being the product of their time, of history. Those of us who followed this debate and had actually studied some of the canonical works were amazed. First of all, they seem to be highly individual products; secondly, they seem to be far more radical in their attacks on each other and their society than �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 24 25 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } these contemporary critics. But above all, our way of reading is naturally expressed in First, it takes real mastery of facts and theories to teach these disciplines, and the the question: What does the author intend? And I, for one, would not know how to teacher has naturally to assume the part of an authority. We could not be the perpetu- address an authorless book, for how could I penetrate its words except on the assump- al amateurs we need to be to teach in the whole Program nor could our classes be con- tion that they were written for me by a being I was like, in kind if not in degree? sistently carried on by students if we taught academic disciplines. We could not fulfill St. John’s was not much touched by these battles; we and our students were simply our ideal of being exemplary learners rather than authoritative teachers. too much engaged in actual study, too much captivated by this miraculous inheri- Second, the academic disciplines are not elementary in the sense we require (most tance. One might say that we conceded the elitism of the tradition and practiced the of these fields, about one hundred thirty of them, were, incidentally, inventoried egalitarianism of its readers. But we did think harder about our commitments. by Francis Bacon as early as 1620, in his “Catalogue of Natural and Experimental In particular, we needed to be clear about the feature, or non-feature, of the Histories”, for example: “History of Venus, as a species of Touch”, that is, the physi- Program that both academic and lay visitors notice with surprise: the absence of any ology of sex). By “elementary” in this context I mean having the property of elements disciplinary fields – no history, sociology, anthropology, literary theory, history of that are fairly natural beginnings, as language learning usually begins with the parts philosophy, etc. Our students might incidentally gather some information on these of speech, their syntax and vocabulary, the study of music begins with the mathematical fields (in the case of history of philosophy, of science, and of mathematics more than construction of the diatonic scale by compounding interval ratios, and mathematics almost any other group of American undergraduates). begins with definitions and axioms. Introductions to the field disciplines are usually But generally we ask them to read individual books as unassigned to any discipline brief outlines of a huge body of research results whose shape depends very much on and to practice on them the basic skills of learning. Our reasons for circumventing the presenter’s theories. It is hard to undertake such studies together in a way natural academic fields are less theoretical than practical and pedagogical. (Our students do, and accessible to all. Euclid’s Elements, on the other hand, begins with the sentence: in any case, go on to disciplinary studies in graduate school. And though they go there “A point is that which has no parts.” It is our model. Here our students start their four nearly completely unacquainted with the “isms,” concepts, methods, that their col- years of mathematics. You can’t begin more minimally or more discussably: What – in leagues from other institutions have been trained in, they seem to find their footing the world or out – is an object that has no part? pretty quickly – and sometimes to stand out for the freshness of their approach.) Here are some of these reasons. �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL 4. } 26 27 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } H o w d o w e c h o o s e a n d e va l u a t e trained as a cartographer specializing in Chinese maps, who captivated us by showing our tutors? on the blackboard how to draw large meaning from a little Chinese character, and who told us that he was preoccupied with the question whether Confucius’ writing was I have never visited an institution whose life depended so much on a faculty well fitted to its curriculum as St. John’s. Nothing is more important to our internal well-being than our choice and assimilation of tutors. applicable to American life. And he seemed to have far more in store than on display. Our hope is that once appointed a tutor will stay with us. We do what we can – never enough – to help new tutors. In particular, beginning tutors’ seminar partners It has always seemed remarkable to me that we – a school that prides itself on are chosen from more experienced colleagues to serve as their helper, critiquer-in- putting students’ learning first – should have as our first criterion for permanent chief and advocate. But there are many other kinds of help, as new tutors engage in the appointment not teaching but distinction of mind defined as excellence of intellect arduous task of working their way into the Program: phone calls requesting help to and imagination. Nor is teaching second, but rather competence in the Program and tutors who know the material, the regular weekly meetings, led by a more knowledge- increasing understanding of the questions raised by its books. For us these are not able tutor, in which anything that pertains to a particular class is discussed, simply formalisms but vivid conceptions against which tutors are appraised. Compe- meetings with the dean, and above all, if there is time, sitting in on experienced tence is not so hard to gauge, nor is good teaching in our spirit, the third criterion that colleagues’ classes. we look to. The first demand, however, though crucial and not vague, is harder to But just because we want tutors to stay, the review process, conducted by the dean apply: It describes a tutor who is able to open up large vistas in a small piece of text, and the Instruction Committee, is severe. Letters are written for each appointment up who can see the whole through its parts and illuminate a detail by the entirety, who to tenure which are more specifically critical the greater our hopes for the tutor are. I can put two and two together and on occasion get, gloriously and rightly, five. We recall all too well, on the other hand, what contortions of ominous vacuousness I had think of good teaching as the natural fallout of these and similar abilities. to engage in as dean to warn people – as tactfully as possible – that they fell short of the Thus this order of desirables fits our notion of the tutor as learner-in-chief, and as teaching more by example than by a technique. I think that if you are full of focused first criterion (distinction of mind). For while all the other standards could be met by willingness and trying, there isn’t much to be done about natural endowments. enthusiasm (a lovely Greek word, meaning “having the god within”) you’ll be with us all Two criteria for tenure prevalent through the whole academic world that we don’t your life. To give an example: I recall the appointment interview of a present colleague employ are publishing and classroom “performance.” Some of us write books, but �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 28 more because we can’t help it than because our careers require it. (In fact, no one at St. John’s has a “career” since there are no academic ranks, and becoming dean is more an act of penitential love than a career move; besides, when our term is up we happily go back into the teaching community that has been our care.) Academic publishing depends largely on specialized disciplinary research, and tutors learning the Program don’t have much time for it. You will not hear talk of “my own work” among tutors. We do each have our special pursuit, but it is no more our own than a great book is a private possession. As for teaching as a performance, it doesn’t fit us: Neither brilliant lecturers nor disciple-making guruship fit our way. What’s a tutor’s life like? Jacob Klein, a former dean and one of our grand old men, used to outline with a gesture of his hand a wave with many crests, a roller-coaster track. It’s an alternation of exhilaration and despair, as classes go well or ill, as we ourselves feel a sense of having gotten something or being confounded. That teacher’s wave train is amplified by our aforementioned sense of responsibility without the power to compel by grades, by badgering, or by lectures. A tutor’s life is without question arduous; by spring when formal obligations mount up (all our classes last the whole year) some of my colleagues look like the walking dead. Two nights a week are given to evening seminars, Friday night lecture imposes a sort of obligation to be a model of attendance for students. Family life suffers some; spouses bear the brunt. Besides paper conferences, advising, committee obligations, there is the fact that, since we are usually teaching outside of our original training, we need a W.E.B. DU B OIS �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 30 lot of time for adequate preparation. Everything is always new or just begun – a boon insofar as we don’t often get jaded, a trouble insofar as we often get worn out. 31 { 5. T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } H ow d o w e s e l e c t a n d m o n i t o r our students? What is their life lik e? It’s not that we work harder than anyone else in the professions or in business. It’s that to perform our mission well we are supposed to think things out, ruminate, What kinds of students do we want? Since in recent years our increasing meditate, talk at leisure. We and our students know that the very word “school” is applications actually allow us to be, as they say, “selective” – a badge of prestige – we derived from the Greek word for leisure, scholé, and that’s just what this school have an important decision to work out, as we always do, by consultation and discus- doesn’t have enough of, especially for newer and younger tutors. I recall that when sion. Our policy has been, within financial and timing constraints, to approve applica- years ago we were invited by our neighbor, the Naval Academy, to show some of their tions as they roll in, applying certain minimal criteria: Does this student read with fair faculty, military and civilian, how we lead seminars, a brief discussion arose: Which of facility, write with some literacy and possess a minimum of mathematical training – in our two schools is more like permissive Athens, which more like martial Sparta? The sum, can the student be expected to cope with the Program? For the rest, we were as wonderful conclusion was that in point of faculty discipline and student requirements close to having a self-selected student body as a college can be. We took wild chances we were taut Sparta and the Academy was liberal Athens – except for one aspect: The on a wild or rebellious or eccentric kid and sometimes lucked out and often lost. officers thought that the pressure of a tight pace was good for developing quick At this point I’ll speak for myself, well knowing that my colleagues on the other decision-making in future officers, while we were sure that continual busyness was side have arguments both principled and practical. I think that “selectivity,” far from bad for thoughtfulness in future citizens. The intellect continually in harness loses its being a school’s mark of excellence, is a sign of curricular and pedagogic failure. A spontaneous leaps, and the imagination continually pressed for time contracts its good undergraduate educational plan should be inclusive in design and well enough embracing visions. taught to bring together future fellow citizens of all sorts of abilities. Wanting to be a I should add that there are now on both campuses numerous tutor study groups, member of that community of learning should be the main criterion of admission. funded and unfunded, that broaden our learning while drawing us together, animat- Desire trumps brilliance any time when it comes to learning. At St. John’s, tutors must ing both campuses all year long. Although they occupy time, they are nonetheless felt have some distinction of mind to be appointed; students should need none to be as a recreation. admitted. They may come undistinguished but they don’t leave that way. Do we look for a representative student population? I think most of us know from �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 32 33 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } years of teaching that the distinctiveness of individuals being themselves is the ulti- an hour take turns appraising their work; then the students take their turn to mate diversity. Nonetheless, insofar as some of us have a sneaking conviction that this respond. Don rags should be candid and precise but not hurtful, though there is is the curriculum for all human beings who want to understand the roots of their sometimes some weeping for the sins of the term or from sheer nervousness. Great modernity and for Americans in particular, we want very much to be teaching students pleasure is taken in praising a student precisely, and great pains are taken to give of every describable kind. clear, accurate, concise reports, and helpful advice. The don rag is not the place for Our monitoring and evaluation of students has won public commendation, crypto-grading or psychologizing, though of course that happens. A written report of although it uses few of the conventional tools, such as essay or short-answer exams, tutors’ comments and the don rag committee’s recommendation for the student’s quizzes, graded papers, frequent hands-up in class, absence records. To be sure, we future goes to the dean. too have an absence policy and a fairly fierce one, since there is no making up a lost The “enabling” procedure occurs at the end of the sophomore year. All the students’ conversation and since students’ non-presence is a dereliction of duty not only toward records are reviewed individually in a meeting of all the tutors who have taught them. themselves but also toward their classmates. When there is memory work to be done, Comments are made in the hearing of the dean and the Instruction Committee, who especially in language, tutors do give diagnostic quizzes. But we have no official exam decide whether each student is able to continue. The chief factor in the decision is our period. “Hitting the books” just before examinations is futile here, papers are never judgment that the candidate is likely to continue to learn and to help others in their graded but critiqued, and hardly any Johnny is even capable of the short answer to a learning. Less than five percent are asked to leave and several of those return on appeal. good question; these machine-graded tests are notoriously designed to be unforgiving Also, sometime earlier every student must have passed a test in the simple algebraic of reflection. operations necessary to the mathematics and physics of the last two and a half years. Since we are with our classes all year long and since they are small and since class For the first three years students are orally examined by their seminar leaders on participation is demanded, we get to know our students well. Twice a year we report their reading in fall and on their annual essay in spring; at their best these are lively on their performance and their progress in the “don rag” (a whimsical term come down conversations. But the oral of orals is the culmination of each student’s account- to us out of our hoary past from our founders’ experience at an English university; the giving; it is the public examination all seniors undergo on their senior essay. It takes “dons,” that is, masters, “rag,” that is, torment, the students). All the students meet, place in full academic regalia and consists of a searching, hour-long conversation on one at a time, with all their current tutors together, who in the course of a quarter of the essay between the student and three tutors. Friends and sometimes family are �35 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } present, and at the end they congregate around the now-candidate for the degree of Bachelor of Arts for congratulations. Just before graduation all the seniors’ records are reviewed by the faculty, and seniors found sufficient are recommended to the Board for the degree. We are a talking college, and these oral examinations fit us well, but there is also plenty of paper-writing and these papers, though not letter-graded, are evaluated. This is a well-monitored student body. Everyone knows who works hard and who goofs off, who’s deeply serious and who’s a smart-aleck. Certainly the students know it; what they don’t always know is that we know it too. What are our students’ lives like? The Program is very demanding. Moreover we A RISTOTLE hope that the curriculum will expand and meld into extracurricular activity, that common study and casual conversation will continue classroom discussion – and the converse. The scores of activities that enliven the campuses, from Santa Fe’s Search and Rescue team to Annapolis sailing and rowing crews, from fencing to photography, from the art studio to the gymnasium, all these teams and clubs stand more or less under the aegis of the Program. Our directors of athletics and student activities have known how to make our varied sports and outdoor activities support and express our learning; Mens sana in corpore sano, say the Romans, “A sound mind in a sound body”, and in this school, at least, the body works out so that the mind may be better exercised. Well, at least in part – also for friendship and fun and for something else: In a community of learning that discourages competition in the classroom, athletics offers an outlet for energetic but regulated rivalry. �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 36 37 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } All over the campuses, in the coffee shops and unused classrooms, you will see Seminars, when all the classes are mingled for seminars selected and led by students. students preparing for class together, sometimes in twosomes (they have the taste, The same committee also mounts forums on issues of student life, recently a series – lost in maturity, for dual-purpose togetherness, such as studying their electricity and remarkable for its searching seriousness, as it seemed to me – on the Student magnetism manual while experiencing similar phenomena in a less formal mode), Handbook’s requirements for conduct conducive to a community of learning. often in larger groups, or in lively conversation. This devotion sometimes, wonderfully, assumes the aspect of the higher kookiness: Last year two young gentleman in Annapolis invited me to tea (bags in mugs) to show me their beautiful new dormitory. They told me that they had continued a recent tradition of reading Homer’s whole Iliad in one day; they decided that such a work must not be interrupted, so that when 6. What are the relations between tutors and students? answering calls of nature they went together – one reciting, one not. Students are in seminar Monday and Thursday night; they are supposed to be at Our tutors’ way of teaching and our students’ way of learning naturally lecture on Friday night. They have six tutorials and two or three laboratories a week make for a strong bond between them. One might say that it is too close to be intimate. during the day. Each class demands long and often challenging preparation. It would Put another way: Our common work is too serious for too personal an involvement. be doable, except that too many students work at jobs more hours than are officially The fierce intellectuality and the common commitment to truth – as a goal, not a permitted, in order to make money. When I was dean, students complaining of loss of possession – help to ensure this closeness-with-proper-distance. (There are, it bears zest for their studies and mild depression were often simply overworked – analogously repeating, very few teaching faculties in this country today who will own up to truth as to new tutors. That being said, by and large our students can be counted on to share an aim of education. Our tutors do – at least as a pedagogical practice; of course some our love for the work we do together. Only let, say, an unsympathetic visitor question of my colleagues are deep-dyed skeptics, but for them too their conviction is a their occupation and the wagons circle. philosophy – a way of loving wisdom.) Some students are, nonetheless, insatiable: Throughout the year they form study The faculty has resolved that intimacies between tutors and students are wrong. groups, often with tutors, and mount “guerrilla seminars” on non-Program books. This is, to be sure, what the law and professionalism require. But for us it is a conse- Twice a year the Student Committee on Instruction organizes the All-College quence of our “tutorial” – literally, our “guardian” mode. We see ourselves as acting �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 38 within an old tradition first set out in a Platonic dialogue, the Symposium, where a young worshiper of Socrates reports that his offer of sexual favors was quietly and firmly rejected in favor of a finer possibility. Although in seminar discussions we are expected to assume no seniority but to support our claims just like the students, we do, after all, evaluate them, and they are in that sense not our equals; our classroom equality involves a certain degree of benevolent hypocrisy. These are not the conditions of bona fide friendships. Those arise when in that sweet moment on commencement day, we, who have addressed them as Mr. or Ms. for four years, call our new-minted alumni by their first name for the first time. Then often a lifelong friendship is started. Yet we often have the devil of a ridiculous time trying to get graduates to break through their decorous distance and to be casual toward us: This faculty gets a touching lot of respect. But of course as we grow older together we get closer in age, and so we grow more intimate as well. Mutual respect is the norm, and, in addition, though we don’t generally speak of “my student,” we do often grow closer to certain people who seek us out or who attract our fond interest. An example going way back to 1958 comes to mind. I was a freshman tutor then living in a room in one of the few seventeenth-century houses in Annapolis. Near midnight the phone rang and the agitated voice of one of my freshmen came through: “Oh, Miss Brann, I need help with Eros!” I was young enough then to need it myself, but I understood his particular requirements and got him started on his annual essay about the dialogue mentioned above. He’s a lawyer now, deeply concerned with the service aspect of his profession, and we talk pretty regularly. M ICHEL DE M ONTAIGNE �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 40 41 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } There are a few students – sad exceptions – who don’t establish special relationships Then there are the inherent limitations of the Program, the obverses of its with a tutor they particularly trust; opportunity is surely not lacking since each student strengths, which have to be acknowledged. The Program is a small island in the sea of has about twenty year-long tutors over four years, and it is part of our regular day to be our ignorance; to list all the worthwhile knowables our students don’t learn would be available to all students – not just the ones we happen to have in class – for help, tantamount to producing almost all the catalogues of all the libraries in the world. advice, or just conversation, beyond paper conferences and other required “contacts” Most things to be known are not known by us, and our students leave us vastly ignorant. (horrible word). You will see tutors and students deep in conversation in the dining Moreover, most tutors know less about any one subject than any particular professor room – we have a “take-a-tutor-to-lunch” plan – or in restaurants off-campus. It’s how at a university (where the universe of learning is indeed supposed to be collected), whose we learn of the interests, particularly the curious kinds of connoisseurship our stu- knowledge, in turn, covers only a tiny territory in the vast field of some specialty. The dents pursue. How many fantasy books have I read because a student ingeniously Program is a highly restricted plan of study that provides us with elemental skills of proved to me that they were works of liberal art? learning and exemplary cases of knowledge, no more. Even so, it is largely beyond our capacities. Our books demand that we be linguis- 7. tically acute, mathematically quick, and philosophically deep every day. Of course we aren’t up to it, although we help each other as best we can – tutors students and often students tutors. We give and take help with the solution of technical problems, with What’s wrong with us? the construing of sentences, with the interpretation of a line of poetry. Often we need to compromise, to read too quickly, to leave difficulties unresolved, Well, almost everything that’s right. So distinctive a community will pay to let ourselves and our students get away with less than satisfactory work – especially the the penalty for being itself. Visitors do sometimes speak of us as an educational utopia students, who are after all, never allowed to play only to their own particular strengths. – but recall that “utopia” is Greek for “no-place.” We have to remain plausible to I recall vividly an example from the days of my deanship. A fine, well-respected student ourselves and to others, and so an occasional inventory of flaws is in order. simply could not achieve the satisfactory grades we require – only in the senior year – for I have already mentioned that we are perpetually time-starved with deleterious consequences to tutors and students. graduation. The failing class was our demanding senior laboratory, and her tutor came to see me. “Can’t you do something for her?” I asked. He said, “Do you want me to �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 42 prostitute myself?” “Yes, please,” I said, and he did, and he was right to do it. There are darker things. Life here is so intense that it sometimes just falls apart. 43 { 8. T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } What kind of institution does our Progr am r equir e? Students don’t prepare, classes go badly. There have been times in my life when I coasted and withdrew, as happens to most tutors from time to time. Students have to The Program holds us together intellectually, but our Polity provides the think about money too much; some carry a debt burden that constricts their future. practical condition for a stable communal life. The role it plays within the college is They experience crises of faith and entanglements of love and other pressure-cooker similar to that of the Constitution in this country: We certainly don’t think of it all the effects. Here the possibility of escape to the other campus, Santa Fe or Annapolis, is a time, but all our procedures follow from it. saving grace. Our students come from the world and bring its corruptions along, and The Polity gives us an institutional form, developed over many years of revision, a whatever troubles American society has, we have, though, I think in a mitigated degree. form that contains our educational purpose pretty adequately. Like the Program Consequently our students aren’t exactly angels out of class – more the opposite, itself, the Polity is at once unusual and exemplary. I shall mention only the provisions though there are times when the demons do turn into cherubs. A particular occasion that are particularly concerned with the Program, and these in broad strokes. for such a transformation comes at the end of the year, when the freshmen, who are all We are a truly national college – a rare thing – one college with campuses in required to sing in the freshman chorus, give a concert. In Annapolis it’s in our Great Maryland and New Mexico. We have, with small local variations, the same Program, Hall. We stand in the gallery listening to them sing Palestrina or Mozart and are in and the Polity protects both the expressions of local life and the unity of the Program. heaven with the angels – for the moment. It first defines the responsibilities of the Board of Visitors and Governors (whose This section could be much longer, and actually it all needs to be said, at least among ourselves. Few things are as harmful to a community as terminal idealism. members, besides governing, do actually visit the campuses to familiarize themselves with their life). It then goes on to detail the functions of the faculty. What is vital here is that the two presidents of the campuses are listed as first among faculty members. Our presidents are officially tutors who often teach and always learn within the Program; their responsibilities reach deep into the community. There are two deans chosen from the faculty who – and this is unique as far as I know – sit on the Board ex officio, so the faculty in turn reaches into the Board. The deans chair their part of the �45 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } Instruction Committee, with which the presidents in turn sit ex officio. This committee of faculty members, six each, elected on each campus, has, together with the deans, responsibility for the Program of Instruction, including the formulation of changes and recommendations of tutorial appointments to the respective president. One might say it was a powerful committee, but we avoid such language: It is a respected and responsible committee, and a hard-working one. To complete the picture of integration, it should be said that the associates, the professionals who run our administration, are also faculty members and sometimes teach. The deans, on the other hand, coming from the faculty, are just what they were as tutors: amateurs. In fact we avoid the administrative ambiance as best we can, and each dean ministers to the community in a new way. My own style was to try to be some version of a universal grandmother. The Polity specifies scores of committees, charges, and procedures, but the aim is to have a structure as receptive as possible to the mission of the college, a form totally F LANNERY O’C ONNOR friendly to the function. The Polity represents a pretty successful attempt to overcome the paradoxical fact, already noted, that an “institution of learning” is a contradiction in terms. For nothing is less amenable to institutionalization than a young – or old – soul in development. And yet what is an intellectual paradox is a worldly necessity. In this attempt our governance structure reflects the Program: Both are full of prescriptions designed to protect freedom. Here is the place to add that the students too have a Polity and a student government that disburses the quite considerable funds for student activities. One of this Polity’s chief provisions is a sleep-study rule designed to keep the dorms safe for learning – a �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 46 47 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } rule not always effective because of a besetting student sin of tolerance for each lar reform when he said: “The birthing mountains heaved and a ridiculous mouse was other’s disruptive habits. There is also the aforementioned Student Committee on born.” We’re better off always first trying to do better what we’re already doing. Instruction which mounts discussions on the Program and whose recommendations the college’s Instruction Committee take very seriously. The Polity includes our Graduate Institute, which I must not fail to mention although this account is mostly concerned with the undergraduate college. The Grad- Most organizations have a double aspect: Some members are responsible for its uate Institute is meant to give people who have missed out on it a belated chance at the existence, others for its essence. At St. John’s, the Board and the presidents labor to kind of liberal learning offered at St. John’s. Its content is derived from the undergrad- keep us in being, while the deans, the Instruction Committee, and the whole faculty uate Program but the ordering is by subject segments lasting a semester: Literature, work to keep us being who we were meant to be. And both parties are well intertwined. Politics and Society, Mathematics and Natural Science, Philosophy and Theology, How does it work in practice, particularly with respect to the two campuses? Santa History. The completion of four of these leads to a Master’s degree in liberal arts. In Fe (founded in 1964) has long since outgrown its beginnings as an Annapolitan colony. Santa Fe, the Graduate Institute also includes a program on the Eastern Classics; stu- One of the delights of visiting either campus, coming from the other, is that in the dents tackle the Great Books of China, India, and Japan. most different of settings – the spacious skies and mountains of the Southwest against What the Graduate Insitute students, who are generally older, might lack in the the confined vistas and coastal waters of Annapolis – the conversations turn about the skills the undergraduates practice through four years and in the continuity of their same universal questions; the coffee shop blackboard bears the same mangled Greek reading, they make up in maturity and appreciativeness. Many tutors love to teach the and the same lovingly drawn geometric diagrams. Of course where there’s two of any- same books to students fully engaged in practical life. Our G.I.’s, as they are called, in thing there will be inventively invidious comparisons: Annapolis is supposed to be turn thrive when they realize that tutors will help but won’t dominate their learning, teutonically earnest, Santa Fe fecklessly laid-back. But our students transfer back and that they are encouraged to reflect on their studies in the light of their experience. forth in droves and are the better for it. It is true that having to gain consent on both campuses for major Program changes (as required by the Polity) and preserving the possibility of student transfer acts as a brake on curricular innovations, college-wide or local. But I’ve sat through enough of those at other colleges to know that the Latin poet Horace might have meant curricu- �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL 9. } 48 What are the essential features of our Progr am? 49 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } What matters even more is that under this all-required Program, which comprises about sixteen year-long classes over the four years, all the students in the same year are doing the same thing. Hence they can – and do – talk to each other; a senior might It’s time to come to the Program itself. The first feature that surprises the be seen helping a freshman with an astronomical diagram. Nothing contributes more public is that it is almost entirely prescriptive and what is more, prescriptive not only to making us into a working community than our common curriculum. for the students but also for the teachers: four years of non-elective, non-departmental, non-specialized study for students and tutors alike. But the thought behind all others is that there are elemental skills and crucial books with which every inhabitant of modernity should have experience, and that it is We really mean it. The same Program our students commit themselves to is a faculty’s responsibility to establish these learning matters and to have faith in them. learned and taught by us, though of course more slowly, over many years. After all, if Students tend to have faith in their teachers’ faith: Although our students are given to they can learn all its parts so, presumably, can we. raising questions about everything, there is remarkably little resistance engendered What we lose by this perhaps startlingly unconventional approach is, as so often at the college, also what we gain. We are, as I said, perpetual amateurs and often ourselves by the Program, hard taskmaster though it be. (To be sure, our students chose this curriculum, but what student was ever prevented from complaining by that little fact?) at sea. But these deficiencies also make us better teachers – more sympathetic, fresher We find that the conventional elective system has too many pedagogically dubious (no yellowed lecture notes for us), more alive to students’ difficulties. Intellectual dar- aspects: How can a student make a knowledgeable educational choice before being ing – the willingness to plunge into new material, unabashed candor – the willingness educated? Should students really follow their bent or shouldn’t they rather submit to admit ignorance, and bald directness – the readiness to do without scholarly camou- themselves to expansive diversity? Is it good for them to fill up on gut courses or flage – these are the virtues this approach requires, and we think that such non-author- unplanned alternatives when their preferred course is full? There is much to be said itative teaching does our students good. Since advancing in the Program by teaching it for giving up passing preferences in favor of a liberating experience, and capricious is the main project of the tutor’s life, especially in the first ten years, the dean, who is choice in favor of a coherent study plan. For we make every effort to keep the curricu- responsible for the teaching slate, contravenes the rules of seniority observed at most lum not only excellent in its matter but also coherent in its ordering. institutions. Newer tutors are more apt to get the classes they ask for as they plan their own learning schedule; the more experienced faculty is not favored. The first essential feature of the Program is, then, its prescriptiveness for students and tutors alike. An all-required program must, of practical necessity, be elementary. �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 50 No high levels of sophistication can be reached by non-specialists. We welcome the necessity because “elementary” need not mean “introductory” or “simple-minded.” To us it rather signifies “deep and radical,” in the sense of delving into the foundations of world and soul and asking questions that go to their roots. For us it is not a shame to be always at the beginning (which the Greeks called arché, the governing source of things) but rather the evidence of our ever-fresh wonder. Still, the Program is, albeit basic, pretty demanding. The second feature is that there are three kinds of classes: seminars, tutorials, and laboratories. In a very old division of liberal learning into Authors and Arts, the seminar corresponds to Authors; the largest part of our Great Books list is assigned for the seminar and discussed there (see p. 52). The Liberal Arts, the arts of language, mathematics, and music, are practiced in the three tutorials (see p. 58). The laboratory updates the medieval liberal arts tradition; the idea that the inquiry into nature requires working on stuff with instruments – “laboratory” literally means “workplace” – is quintessentially modern; here students do bench work (see p. 65). Our catalogue – its title is “Statement of the St. John’s Program” – gives an accurate overview of the study plan. It is not a repository for hopeful projects or defunct courses but a regularly revised, detailed description of the material studied and the approach used in these classes in each year. It is our primary document. The third feature is negative: the absence of textbooks and secondary reading. Of course, tutors and students are free to seek help from whatever quarter they can; my own shelves are full of algebra and calculus and physics textbooks. But textbooks are F RIEDRICH N IETZSCHE �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 52 53 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } conveniently canned wisdom, and we prefer to use, wherever possible, original works, young than for their elders) that intelligent loquacity is at its peak at night. Some run because they are usually closer to the foundational questions. Where we want to way past the allotted two hours, but experience teaches, as has been said of a hanging, achieve some usable competence quickly we try to employ manuals written by tutors that a predictable cut-off time wonderfully concentrates the mind. for the Program. They range from our Greek manual, which manages to teach intro- Seminar begins with a question posed by one of the seminar leaders, who sit at ductory Greek in a reflective way, to a number of mathematics and physics manuals opposite sides of the oblong table. There are normally two tutors leading the seminar. often containing annotations to accompanying original papers. The point is to prevent students from talking to the teacher, to inhibit a tutor’s domi- To my knowledge we never assign secondary literature (that is, scholarly treatments nating the conversation, and, now and then, to treat students to a collegial difference of a primary work) to students though we may recommend some to them and to each of opinion. Newer tutors are, as I said, paired with more experienced ones, and this is other. Annotations and commentaries explaining difficulties in texts are, I suppose, often their most effective initiation into our ways of teaching. We find that this appar- gratefully resorted to by all tutors as they prepare for class or engage in private study ently profligate arrangement is of the essence; two-leader seminars really go better by – which, of course, often comes to fruition in the community. our criteria: students talking and listening to each other. There are, grossly speaking, two seminar styles. Some tutors, like spirits silently 10. brooding upon the waters, utter hardly a word and make things go merely by their attentive presence. I’ve heard students say: “He’s a wonderful leader, he’s almost What is the St. John’s Seminar , silent.” In the same vein, when I was dean, I listened often to the complaint: “He the center of the progr am? dominates” – evidently a major tutorial transgression for students who take our promises seriously. The seminar is the center in so far as all the liberal learning of the Program Other tutors regard themselves as full-fledged members of the conversation is meant to come to fruition here. A seminar in our sense is just a conversation among who will have their say, though, of course, on the same terms as the students. Both a score or fewer people focused by – and mostly on – a book (or musical score or paint- styles can work. ing) that the members have read (or heard or looked at) beforehand. The regular sem- But the main duty of the leaders is to keep things moving, ask new questions, inars of the Program happen in the evening, on the hypothesis (truer, alas, for the recall members from tangents – though some flights from the texts are too interesting �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 54 55 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } to rein in quickly. In any case, we are in seminar not only to attempt to understand writers frequently absorb or take issue with each other. Thus they form each other’s what our author for the night is saying but also to decide for ourselves whether there context and relieve us from fabricating introductions. is truth in the book and how it might affect our lives. Living engagement is the soul of One way to put our approach to the Great Books is that we see in them not history the seminar, and often spurts of witty banter or gusts of delighted laughter are but tradition, history being what has passed and is no longer, while tradition – literally testimonial to the spontaneity of the conversation. Playfulness is the style of live as “what has been handed over” to us – is what is ours, now. Many of us are history buffs opposed to dead seriousness. But the bread-and-butter mood of the seminar is candor, privately, but no school was ever less interested in bygones than ours. Nonetheless, straightforwardness, responsiveness, and the conciseness that comes from thinking over the 256 seminars of their four years our students do accumulate some knowledge before speaking – though we don’t want members to inhibit their contributions with that might be called historical. But they remain blessedly ignorant of conventional too much circumspection. classifications: epochs of history, schools of thought, academic subjects. You might, Students who have been in seminar together become memorable to each other. An for example, ask a junior, who has just read it, what the subject of Newton’s alumna of three decades will say: “Oh yes, Ms. X., she always used to...” (Our students Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica really was and receive a wondering are strictly held to formal address to preserve civility even in the heat of topics that answer: Theology? Philosophy? Mathematics? Mechanics? Dynamics? Astronomy? touch them nearly.) We do, however, try to keep ourselves and our students from Cosmology? assuming hallmark positions, and we would like contributions to be at once impromptu and to the point. That’s the art of seminar participation in a nutshell. Where does the seminar list come from? Such lists were made and kept being made from antiquity on. Our list came largely from the “best books” lists compiled for Students are expected to do their readings, which may vary from thirty to a hundred workmen’s education classes in England and for honors courses in America, begin- thirty pages, well ahead of time and twice if possible. When I see a student in the coffee ning in the late nineteenth century. It is revised for titles and fine-tuned for selections shop late on Monday afternoon with the book open on page ten, I shudder. regularly, but it is essentially stable; the judgment of the reading community diverges Our set seminar list looks chronological. But we are not exemplifying a historical at the edges but unifies about the core. We know very well that every central book has development; each book stands on its own. We read our authors largely in the order in about it a penumbra of fine authors and that these come front and center as they are which they wrote, because that is the null hypothesis which relieves us from imposing discovered by enthusiastic advocates. Nonetheless I never cease to marvel at the pal- subject groupings or schools of thought on our assignments, and because these pable difference between great and good; the latter pass by, the former you live with �57 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } perpetually. Those are the ones we want our students to experience. Associated with the seminar is the preceptorial, a two months’ break in the junior and senior seminars during which the students study a chosen subject, book, or author, along with a tutor. The subject might be a text from within or beyond the Program, be it fiction or philosophy, poetry or music, or a theme, say thermodynam- J ONATHAN S WIFT ics or economics. These breaks are felt to be a kind of festival of the mind for students and tutors alike, for the classes are smaller, the pace of study is more leisurely and the penetration deeper. The annual essay, a much longer piece than is required of students in tutorials, is written for and examined by the seminar leaders. For their writing of the senior essay, which is to be the fruit of their four years and which must be acceptable if they are to graduate, seniors are given a free month. This essay is not supposed to be a product of research but of disciplined, well-expressed reflection on a book or topic. It must be found acceptable by a committee of tutors formed for the purpose. Some essays are mediocre, but many are purely wonderful. The bond between essay-writing senior and essay-advising tutor often lasts a lifetime. �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL 11. } 58 What do we do in the tutorials? 59 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } for the Great Books. Thus we have a language, a mathematics and a music tutorial. In the tutorials we ply the liberal arts, the skills of the intellect. The a. The language tutorial lasts through all four years. The language learned in the first tutorials are recitation classes led by one tutor who directs the students’ translations two years is ancient Greek, in the last two French. Students sometimes refer to the and demonstrations and helps them work out difficulties. The arts here practiced are “Greek” or “French” tutorial, but that is not our intention. In fact, except for a few not learned as bare rules or as processes privileged over products; they are not mere students, the language competence isn’t, mildly speaking, very high; our students techniques. They have always had powerful matters of their own in which they are set come to us, after all, largely from average American high schools. These are language out and exemplified, as a Euclidean proposition is at once a lesson in formal thinking tutorials, and though we obviously can’t talk about language without linguistic exam- and a piece of substantial geometry. ples, a very moderate (laboriously acquired) knowledge of the elements will suffice for In fact our tutorials still follow the traditional list of the liberal arts. First come our purpose, which is to reflect on the ways of human speech: What are the “parts of the arts of language, thinking and expression, the trivium or “three-way”: grammar, speech” and how are they connected to thinking, that is, how is grammar related to logic, rhetoric. Then come the arts of formal structures in time and space, the logic? What does it take to say the same thing in two languages, that is, to translate? quadrivium or “four-way”: mathematics starting with the unit and the counting What makes some speech “rhetorical,” that is, especially persuasive? numbers of arithmetic and ascending dimensionally from the partless point to the Why ancient Greek, a dead language? Well, it isn’t dead to us and it’s beautiful; it’s plane and to the geometric solid, proceeding with the application of mathematics to the language in which most of our freshman books are written; it’s philosophically visible nature in physics, particularly in astronomy, and culminating in passion- fundamental and etymologically helpful to the semantics of English. And it’s just suf- inducing sound in music, above all, the music of the spheres. (I am told that in the ficiently different in syntax from English to make comparisons possible and prof- slightly overwrought early days of the Program, the books on natural science in our itable. In my experience Greek is the least complained-of subject in the Program. library were accordingly cataloged under “Music.”) The rules, structures, and Why French? Many years ago there was a grand debate to decide between German formalisms of these arts, together with their exemplary applications, form the and French. As I recall, French won primarily on the grounds of “sensibility”: We matter of the tutorials. And of course, they are also the elements of and models didn’t have enough sheer elegance in the Program. Perhaps it was also that French was �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 60 61 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } a little easier? In any case, our students read and translate, line by line, fine examples Our four years are elegantly framed by two kinds of geometry, Euclidean and non- of the verbal arts, among them Greek and French plays and a lot of poetry. These serve Euclidean, studied in freshman and senior year respectively. One is the geometry of as exercises in rhetorical analysis, to be sure, but also as enrichments of the imagina- the natural imagination and the other is a geometry that, though logically consistent, tion. There is, besides the study of the elementary grammars of both languages, also is imaginable only on a model within our basic Euclidean world. a sequence in logic. And rhetoric is practiced in a number of short papers, some of One reason mathematics is eminently learnable is that it has few, well-ordered which are critiqued at paper conferences. We are of two minds here: whether, time elements: definitions, axioms, postulates (whereas language begins everywhere at being limited, to indulge our natural pleasure in carrying on a conversation about the once and has complex elements: morphology, syntax, vocabulary). These are the student’s intended content or to do our bounden duty to correct misplaced commas elements that Euclid organized in his classical compendium of that name, the book and skewed syntax while preaching the gospel of meaningful discourse. we study in the freshman year. It is a tiny change in one of his postulates that produces the mind-bogglingly strange new geometry of the senior year, which, for example, has b. The mathematics tutorial, which also runs through all four years, is generally agreed no similar figures (figures, that is, of the same shape but of different size) and which to be the easiest to teach. That’s inherent in the Greek word “mathematics,” which we study from the work of its originator, Lobachevsky. means “what pertains to learning.” Our mathematics, to many a student’s surprise, is In between we study one mathematical revolution after another: the diagrams most satisfyingly learnable, and, to exaggerate only a little, practically teaches itself. used by Ptolemy to “save the phenomena,” that is, to give a rational foundation to the Hence we don’t acknowledge mathematics blocks, and so we don’t have any. Partly, of appearances of an earth-centered cosmos and their conversion by Copernicus to a course, that follows from the fact that our students have chosen to study in this sun-centered universe; the geometric conic sections of Apollonius and their transfor- Program, but it is also because we regard mathematics not as a difficult impersonal mation into the loci generated by algebraic equations (by some accounts the one sin- technique but as a liberal humane art. We wish our students to be easy with the gle conceptual innovation most explanatory of modernity); the advance from the thought that mathematics might be close to the roots of human nature, for example, static mathematics of the ancients to a mathematics of motion as formalized in the cal- our root capacity for recognizing units and counting them and our mysterious ability culus; the expansion of counting numbers to include zero, negatives, rationals, and to picture the inherently invisible such as points without parts, lines without breadth, finally irrationals as conceived by Dedekind; the turn of mind that allows us to think solids without matter. of infinity not as an indefinite progress but as an actual transfinite magnitude; and �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 62 Einstein’s theory, which overturns our ingrained assurance that this moment here is the same “now” throughout space. We ask our students to study these high moments in actual mathematical detail not simply as evidence of human progress, for at every turning point we ask also what was lost in dropping an earlier restraint. Nor do we study them as history of science, for we value each discovery for its intrinsic beauty (a word now proscribed by estheticians but fully active among mathematicians). We do, however, want students to carry away not a secondhand but a direct knowledge of the intellectual effort that went into the making of their world. c. The music tutorial happens in the sophomore year, just when most of our theology is read in the seminar – not by chance, for music is not only traditionally the apex of the liberal arts but, in Luther’s words, “stands close to theology.” As a liberal art music has learnable elements out of which it is composed, a kind of qualitative mathematics: small number ratios which, when realized by plucking strings of various lengths stretched over a sounding board, produce the consonances and when compounded yield the diatonic scale, the circle of fifths which displays the keys, and so on to the traditional rules of meter, melody and harmony and their inspired breaching by composers. Perhaps in no other liberal art are the elements so immediately also the building blocks of its works. Our students study these and then analyze musical compositions, score in hand. They pay attention, especially in sacred music, to the relation of words to notes; they A DAM S MITH �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 64 consider the relations of parts to wholes; they learn to hear subtleties and recognize large designs. In sum, they reflect on the phenomenon of incarnate, impassioned 65 { 12. T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } H ow d o e s t h e labor atory fit in? mathematics in general and on the new effects obtained by stylistic innovations in particular. There is, of course, a repertory of superlative examples. The laboratory is, finally, the newcomer to the liberal arts, though there is Truth to tell, not all tutors trust themselves to teach the music tutorial, which for us no question that it belongs with them. For what Francis Bacon calls – surely the seems to be the only class requiring some special talent and prior training. I haven’t allusion is intended – “the inquisition of nature,” meant to force her secrets from her, myself, though I’ve attended it. And we do always seem to find people who have the is a human concern no less than any of the humanities as now understood: the human- daring to do it. centered studies such as, say, literature. As I’ve mentioned, as freshmen all our students sing together. When the alumni In the three-year laboratory, then, we subject the bodies and motions of nature to return for Homecoming some of them again sing together, pieces from their freshmen controlled conditions, from Galileo’s inclined plane to Millikan’s oil drop chamber, chorus manual. Altogether, this school is full of music. and apply instruments of observation and measurement to them. Although original I might add here that a decade or so ago we had a great debate about the role that accounts of discoveries are read and discussed and tutor-written manuals are studied, the visual arts, not traditionally included in the liberal arts, should play within the the main activity is hands-on benchwork, experimentation in the sense of subjecting Program. On the Santa Fe campus a painting segment was tried out; it is gone now. My stuff to procedures. Our laboratory equipment is not generally sophisticated, and we guess is that the visual arts – which are certainly vigorously plied extracurricularly in don’t expect our students to make new discoveries. Instead we replicate numerous our studios and appreciated through exhibitions in our campus art galleries – don’t crucial experiments and get an elementary notion of the kind of ingenuity and quite fit into our Program because the teachable elements are hard to marshal into a patience required to make a science of nature’s ways. I don’t remember in my years of common curriculum, and there is in them nothing quite equivalent to making music learning to be a laboratory tutor ever hearing the “scientific method” even mentioned; together; so music appears to be the art most in accord with a community of learning. it never seemed that anything so jigged as one scientific protocol could apply to all these great moments. Probably our students could nevertheless give a pretty good account of what it means to define a problem, to devise an experimental setup, to subject phenomena to measurement, to record data and gauge their value. �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 66 The freshman year begins with observational biology, with the tricky problem of classification: Is outside appearance or inside structure more revealing? The labora- 67 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } far the pervasive application to human affairs of these well-defined terms of physics – including, of course, relativity – is legitimate. tory then takes up the problem of measurement and the atomic constitution of matter. Once a week, on Friday night, there is a lecture, the only one in the Program for The sophomore year is given over to music, but the laboratory resumes in the junior which attendance is obligatory – perhaps a rule more honored in the breach than the year with kinematics, mechanics, dynamics, optics, electricity and magnetism up to observance. But the students who generally profit most from the Program are present. Maxwell’s equations. Since by the middle of the year students know some calculus, the After the lecture there is an intense, searching and sometimes interminable question class isn’t so different in content from that of a standard first-year physics course, period. Visiting lecturers, all spent though they may be, find these midnight revels except for the use of seminal papers, and in the hours given to reflecting on the mean- exhilarating. Where have they ever been so well attended to? ing of physical quantities like matter, force, energy, fields – how they show themselves and how they came to be formulated. The senior year returns to biology, now on the sub-individual, that is, molecular level, but first takes up subatomic, that is, quantum, physics. At this point the laboratory becomes fairly demanding, not only mathematically but also conceptually. Recall that none of the students are science majors. 13. W h a t d o w e wa n t f r o m and for our students? Nonetheless, they study some early papers on radiant energy and think about the way nature becomes elusive on the subatomic level: the wave-particle duality (the theory What we expect from our students while they are with us, what it takes to do that radiation and matter are in some respects wave-like and in others particle-like); well, is somewhat different from what in most schools is called “keeping your grades probability (the theory that on a very small scale strict causality fails and the laws of up.” Steady preparation, faithful attendance, timely delivery of well-written papers – nature are statistical); and uncertainty (the theory that the process of observation these virtues are only part of it. We want our students to extend themselves through itself makes the simultaneous measurement of certain quantities in principle impos- the Program, even to the parts that don’t come easily to them, and to be serious sible). With these investigations our students are ready for their world, not only about their whole vocation as students. We want them to think of themselves as because they have some notion how science is developing far beyond our naïvely responsible members of the community of learning: The faults of “having stopped natural understanding of nature, but also because they can judge for themselves how learning” and “not contributing to the class’s learning” as judged by their tutors are �69 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } causes for being “disenabled.” What about morality, that swamp of uncertainty for America’s educational institutions? We are bound to enforce local and federal law on drinking, drugs and sexual conduct. But we are an institution of learning, devoted to the cultivation of the intellect and the imagination, and our first and peculiar care is for the intellectual virtues. There are certain kinds of behavior that we judge to be incompatible with our community of learning, and our Student Handbook states this clearly. In particular, the use of illegal mind-altering substances and the practice of intellectual dishonesty (e.g., plagiarism) are not tolerated when they come to our notice; these we investigate exceedingly carefully and punish quite uncompromisingly. This morality we confidently enforce for the sake of the college’s mission. You can’t work in our spirit if you’re not in your right mind, and you are doing less than nothing if your work is not your own. And though our M ICHAEL FARADAY students come to us from a dangerous world, I think, occasional paroxysms aside, that they lead remarkably good and sober lives. What we would really wish is that all their intoxications and ecstasies were those of the thinking soul. This is what else we want for them: four years of minimally clouded thoughtfulness. For this we have managed to keep our classes remarkably free of a current scourge of higher education: politicization. The Program, whose works are full of religious doctrine and political opinion, requires something higher than tolerance; it requires appreciative openness to all the possibilities of the intellect and the passions. No tutor is entitled to wreck our conversation by introducing a personal ideology, and our students generally have the tact to veer off from politics in the narrow current sense �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL } 70 71 { T H E C A M PA I G N FO R ST. J O H N ’ S CO L L E G E } (the sure sign of which is getting hot under the collar; it marks the difference between pose, and that they will themselves be the catalysts of such communities of two or of politics and political philosophy, which remains relatively serene under opposition). many members, for action or for contemplation: companions, families, firms, schools. We want students to feel safe in bringing all their experience to bear on the discussion And indeed our alumni are by preference founders and maintainers of small worlds. of the books, but we hope they will learn to lever them into a large, universal mode. 2. Courage: We expect them to be full of boldness in approaching intellectual and This desideratum for our students is so close to the heart of our life that I will try practical problems, in complementing their liberal learning with expertise, in trans- saying it again: We want to give our students a classroom in which inciting books are muting their four years’ study into life-long learning and reading. And indeed our talked about not as mere literature nor as historical documents, but boldly as they alumni seem to learn and do practically anything, and they are, many of them, invet- meant themselves to be taken: as the Word of God, or the insight of the intellect, or erate readers and seminar-goers. the wisdom of the world. And yet we want these same students to read subtly, not as 3. Decency: The fallout of years of thoughtful reading about good and evil should be believers, disciples, and partisans – that may happen privately – but receptively, with at least plain probity. Not to suppose so is to renounce faith in the moral effect of liber- that most desirable of human dispositions, an open mind, one which hears apprecia- al learning. And in fact, the alumni I know well do seem to have very live consciences. tively and responds judgingly, both at once. 4. Tradition: Our alumni are in a singularly good position to live in appreciative tension with the Western tradition, to know how we came to be what we now are, 14. namely moderns, to preserve our treasures and reform our faults, and to recover for themselves what we always were, human beings. And in fact, many of our alumni live What do we wish for – and see – in our alumni? as it seems to me we ought to live: half in, half out of our times. 5. Self-knowledge: Our alumni are as busy as anyone, but we hope that they will find time for that inner housekeeping, that coolly unclouded self-awareness they “Alumni” is a word of affection – it means “nurslings.” What nourishment learned about in their freshman year under the Delphic injunction “Know thyself!” do we hope St. John’s has given its alumni to strengthen them for what is so curiously And that is the reality: One of the delights of seeing alumni, perhaps after decades of called “real life”? I can think of five headings: disappearance, is the ready candor with which they report on the state of their soul – 1. Community: We hope that they will carry away a picture of a community of pur- for what would concern their former tutors more? �{ A COLLEGE UNIQUE AND UNIVERSAL 15. } 72 Po s t s c r i p t : A s m a l l c o l l e g e and those that lov e it I want to end with the peroration of a speech that Daniel Webster made in behalf of his own school before the Supreme Court, Chief Justice Marshall presiding, a plea which won the case and resulted in making independent colleges like St. John’s safe from at least one danger – public control (Dartmouth College Case, 1818). He concluded, and had the Chief Justice in tears: Sir, you may destroy this little institution... but if you do..., you must extinguish, one after another, all those great lights of science, which, for more than a century have thrown their radiance over the land! It is, sir, as I said, a small college, and yet there are those that love it.... Well, St. John’s has been here even longer than that, weathering other storms that have only made it stronger. And though it too is a small college, it is also a great college, so that those that love it, love it with good reason. �� Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Promotional Publications Description An account of the resource Brochures and other documents published to promote the college and the Annapolis campus to the public. The collection includes campus walking tour brochures, and fundraising pamphlets. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource St. John's College (Annapolis, Md.) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College (Annapolis, Md.) Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, Md. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context PromotionalPubs Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 39 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource A College Unique and Universal Description An account of the resource A College Unique and Universal publication, written for The Campaign for St. John's College in 2006. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Brann, Eva T. H. Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Santa Fe, N.M. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2006 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College holds the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource St. John's College (Annapolis, Md.) St. John's College (Santa Fe, N.M.) Education, Humanistic Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context College Unique and Universal_2006 Tutors https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/d873901677f671f74b082d6120d31dc3.mp3 0b9d2f17515c254ce8bd02453e1e2836 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Description An account of the resource Items in this collection are part of a series of lectures given every year at St. John's College. During the Fall and Spring semesters, lectures are given on Friday nights. Items include audio and video recordings and typescripts.<br /><br />For more information, and a schedule of upcoming lectures, please visit the <strong><a href="http://www.sjc.edu/programs-and-events/annapolis/formal-lecture-series/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">St. John's College website</a></strong>.  <br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="Formal Lecture Series" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=5&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the St. John's College Formal Lecture Series—Annapolis Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection.<br /><br />A growing number of lecture recordings are also available on the St. John's College (Annapolis) Lectures podcast. Visit <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/st-johns-college-annapolis-lectures/id1695157772">Apple Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/6GDsIRqC8SWZ28AY72BsYM?si=f2ecfa9e247a456f" title="Spotify">Spotify</a> to listen and subscribe. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Title A name given to the resource St. John's College Formal Lecture Series—Annapolis Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context formallectureseriesannapolis Sound A resource primarily intended to be heard. Examples include a music playback file format, an audio compact disc, and recorded speech or sounds. Duration Length of time involved (seconds, minutes, hours, days, class periods, etc.) 01:03:51 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Declaration of Independence Description An account of the resource Audio recording of a lecture delivered on April 30, 1976, by Eva Brann as part of the Formal Lecture Series. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Brann, Eva T. H. Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1976-04-30 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College has been given permission to make this item available online. Type The nature or genre of the resource sound Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource mp3 Subject The topic of the resource United States. Declaration of Independence Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Tape 292 Deans Friday night lecture Tutors https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/2ca40af5b4fbf2171fba64d5e88e7185.mp3 d5d8686a0624d3e4cb12dff3d7aa2031 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Description An account of the resource Items in this collection are part of a series of lectures given every year at St. John's College. During the Fall and Spring semesters, lectures are given on Friday nights. Items include audio and video recordings and typescripts.<br /><br />For more information, and a schedule of upcoming lectures, please visit the <strong><a href="http://www.sjc.edu/programs-and-events/annapolis/formal-lecture-series/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">St. John's College website</a></strong>.  <br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="Formal Lecture Series" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=5&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the St. John's College Formal Lecture Series—Annapolis Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection.<br /><br />A growing number of lecture recordings are also available on the St. John's College (Annapolis) Lectures podcast. Visit <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/st-johns-college-annapolis-lectures/id1695157772">Apple Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/6GDsIRqC8SWZ28AY72BsYM?si=f2ecfa9e247a456f" title="Spotify">Spotify</a> to listen and subscribe. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Title A name given to the resource St. John's College Formal Lecture Series—Annapolis Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context formallectureseriesannapolis Sound A resource primarily intended to be heard. Examples include a music playback file format, an audio compact disc, and recorded speech or sounds. Duration Length of time involved (seconds, minutes, hours, days, class periods, etc.) 00:57:57 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Plato's Theory of Ideas Description An account of the resource Audio recording of a lecture delivered on September 14, 1979, by Eva Brann as part of the Formal Lecture Series. <br /><br />The quality of the recording ranges from poor to very poor. Written versions of the lecture are available <a href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/show/1239">in the Formal Lecture Series collection</a> and in the <a href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/show/5146">St. John's Review (July 1980)</a>. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Brann, Eva T. H. Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1979-09-14 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College has been given permission to make this item available online. Type The nature or genre of the resource sound Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource mp3 Subject The topic of the resource Plato Philosophy, Ancient Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Tape 445 Deans Friday night lecture Tutors https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/919b797fbec913b540c0cbb393fe57a5.mp3 910da86aedefbdc513062b556798fb1d Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Description An account of the resource Items in this collection are part of a series of lectures given every year at St. John's College. During the Fall and Spring semesters, lectures are given on Friday nights. Items include audio and video recordings and typescripts.<br /><br />For more information, and a schedule of upcoming lectures, please visit the <strong><a href="http://www.sjc.edu/programs-and-events/annapolis/formal-lecture-series/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">St. John's College website</a></strong>.  <br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="Formal Lecture Series" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=5&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the St. John's College Formal Lecture Series—Annapolis Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection.<br /><br />A growing number of lecture recordings are also available on the St. John's College (Annapolis) Lectures podcast. Visit <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/st-johns-college-annapolis-lectures/id1695157772">Apple Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/6GDsIRqC8SWZ28AY72BsYM?si=f2ecfa9e247a456f" title="Spotify">Spotify</a> to listen and subscribe. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Title A name given to the resource St. John's College Formal Lecture Series—Annapolis Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context formallectureseriesannapolis Sound A resource primarily intended to be heard. Examples include a music playback file format, an audio compact disc, and recorded speech or sounds. Duration Length of time involved (seconds, minutes, hours, days, class periods, etc.) 01:03:09 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Perfections of Jane Austen Description An account of the resource Audio recording of a lecture delivered on January 31, 1975, by Eva Brann as part of the Formal Lecture Series. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Brann, Eva T. H. Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1975-01-31 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College has been given permission to make this item available online. Type The nature or genre of the resource sound Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource mp3 Subject The topic of the resource Austen, Jane, 1775-1817 English prose literature Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Tape 262 Deans Friday night lecture Tutors https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/2a14f15c8c401de9c4e7e9dfb41e6874.mp3 519988d94f8d86832489e267240ba0b5 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Description An account of the resource Items in this collection are part of a series of lectures given every year at St. John's College. During the Fall and Spring semesters, lectures are given on Friday nights. Items include audio and video recordings and typescripts.<br /><br />For more information, and a schedule of upcoming lectures, please visit the <strong><a href="http://www.sjc.edu/programs-and-events/annapolis/formal-lecture-series/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">St. John's College website</a></strong>.  <br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="Formal Lecture Series" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=5&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the St. John's College Formal Lecture Series—Annapolis Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection.<br /><br />A growing number of lecture recordings are also available on the St. John's College (Annapolis) Lectures podcast. Visit <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/st-johns-college-annapolis-lectures/id1695157772">Apple Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/6GDsIRqC8SWZ28AY72BsYM?si=f2ecfa9e247a456f" title="Spotify">Spotify</a> to listen and subscribe. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Title A name given to the resource St. John's College Formal Lecture Series—Annapolis Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context formallectureseriesannapolis Sound A resource primarily intended to be heard. Examples include a music playback file format, an audio compact disc, and recorded speech or sounds. Duration Length of time involved (seconds, minutes, hours, days, class periods, etc.) 00:47:28 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource What Is a Book? Description An account of the resource Audio recording of a lecture delivered on August 30, 1991, by Eva Brann as part of the Formal Lecture Series. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Brann, Eva T. H. Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1991-08-30 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College has been given permission to make this item available online. Type The nature or genre of the resource sound Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource mp3 Subject The topic of the resource Books and reading Books Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Tape 377 Deans Friday night lecture Tutors https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/5959cb5959464bd07159a68a98cb4b9e.pdf d6a58d8448e0df43472ebff4ae4f79dc PDF Text Text ǴA *�K2 �+`Qbb i?2 P+2�MǴ Production This transcription of "I Came Across the Ocean" from the Eva Brann Collection was created using 6`QKh?2S�;2 hBiH2, ǴA *�K2 �+`Qbb i?2 P+2�MǴ *`2�i2/ PM, kyk9@RR@Rj RN,yj,k8 lh* R k �R A *�J1 �*_Paa i?2 P*1�L #v 1o� "_�LL j 9 �k (H27i T�;2 #H�MF) (`B;?i T�;2) Ny :QQ/ A *�J1 �*_Paa h?2 P*1�L #v 1p� "`�MM C�Mm�`v Ry- RN99 8 e �j (H27i T�;2 #H�MF) (`B;?i T�;2) R A /2/B+�i2 i?Bb #QQF iQ Kv KQi?2` �M/ 7�i?2`- rBi?Qmi r?QK A +QmH/ M2p2` ?�p2 r`Bii2M i?Bb �miQ#BQ;`�T?v Q` ?�p2 K�/2 Bi �b 7mHH Q7 rQM/2`7mH K2KQ`B2b �b Bi BbX h?2 �mi?Q` d 3 �9 (H27i T�;2 #H�MF) (`B;?i T�;2) k h�#H2 Q7 *QMi2MibX AX % J22i Jv 6�KBHv % TX j AAX % �#Qmi J2 �b � GBiiH2 :B`H % TX e AAAX % LQ *�HK "27Q`2 i?2 aiQ`K % TX RN AoX % AM L�xB :2`K�Mv @ �M/ � q�` _�;BM; % TX k9 oX % �+`Qbb i?2 P+2�M % TX 9R oAX % �K2`B+� % TX eN oAAX %GQQFBM; AMiQ i?2 *`vbi�H "�HH % TX dk N Ry �8 (H27i T�;2 #H�MF) (`B;?i T�;2) j AX J22i Jv 6�KBHvX h?2`2 Bb BM Kv 7�KBHv � bBHp2` ?�M/- bm+? �b Bb mb2/ #v C2rb iQ TQBMi Qmi rQ`/b BM i?2B` ;`2�i2bi #QQF- i?2 h?Q`�?X PM i?Bb ?�M/ Bb � >2#`2r BMb+`BTiBQMbi�iBM; i?�i Bi #2HQM;b iQ i?2 7�KBHv Q7 "2M _�##B �+FB#� L�@@@ L�2@@ ULQ QM2 `2K2K#2`b i?2 H�bi M�K2b bBM+2 i?2 ?�M/ Bb MQi rBi? mb RR Rk �e (H27i T�;2 #H�MF) (`B;?i T�;2) 9 /m2 iQ r�`V r?Q Bb Q7 i?2 7�KBHv Q7 EBM; .�pB/X A7 vQm i�F2 i?2 BMBiB�Hb Q7 i?Bb 7�KQmb `�##B vQm rBHH ;2i "@_@�@L@L r?B+? 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A +�M /Q #2bi- �M/ /Q i?�i iQ i?2 #2bi Q7 Kv �#BHBivX Jv ;`2�i2bi A +QM+Hm/2 rBi? i?2 rBb? Bb i?�i r?2`2p2` A K�v #2 Q` r?�i2p2` A K�v /Q- A K�v #2 �#H2 iQ };?i- Q` #2ii2` rQ`F- 7Q` ǴGB72- GB#2`iv- �M/ i?2 Tm`bmBi Q7 >�TTBM2bb-Ǵ 7Q` Kvb2H7- i?2 T2QTH2 Q7 Qi? Kv #2HB27- �M/ 7Q` i?Qb2 Q7 �M/ Qi?2`b- 7Q` 2p2`vQM2X h?2 1M/X R8j R89 �dd R88 R8e �d3 R8d R83 �h?Bb /Q+mK2Mi rQmH/ MQi #2 TQbbB#H2 rBi?Qmi i?2 +QMi`B#miBQMb Q7 i?2 7QHHQrBM; Greenfield Library Student Assistants, Jennings Caldwell, >�2BM *?Q, and Luke Klassen R8N � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Eva Brann Collection Description An account of the resource Please contact the library staff for more information about the collection. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Brann, Eva T. H. Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College holds the rights to this material. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 78 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource I Came Across the Ocean Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Brann, Eva T. H. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1944-01-10 Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource Autobiographies Kristallnacht, 1938 Jews--Germany--History--1933-1945 Jewish refugees Berlin (Germany) Language A language of the resource English Description An account of the resource Autobiography written by Eva Brann for a school assignment in 1944, when she was 14 years old. The account covers her early childhood in pre-World War II Berlin, life as a Jewish child after Kristallnacht, escaping on a train through war-torn Europe, traveling to America on a refugee ship, and her hopes for the future. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context I Sailed Across the Ocean_1944 https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/f1175135d9cb4746b47d1f0e9a691c7f.pdf 1f51ac34215638ea3e45cdb3837ba040 PDF Text Text ARTHUR T. BRICE, VOLUME I EDITOR MACK A. ALLRED. PRINTER SONOMA, CALIFORNIA, JANUARY, 1963 FRANCIS SCOTT KEY - Class of 1796 Bronze bas-relief by M. Brackenridge From portrait by Charles Wilson Peale. NUMBER I �O thus be it ever when freemen shall stand Between their lov'd home and the war's desolation; Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land Praise the power that hath made and preserv'd us a nation! Then conquer we must , when our cause it is just, And this be our motto; "In God is our trust!" And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the bravel �EDITORIAL Attention is invited to the Sponsor’s Column of this communication. We feel that all Cousins should be pleased and gratified to recognize that institutions such as these have volunteered to make themselves responsible - even if only to a very limited extent - for a Society of Descendants of - Grandpa Key among ourselves - when, as, and if any such Society may ever be permanently organized, established, or incorporated. The Maryland Historical Society has offered its Key Room in the new building for the first formal assembly of the Family. St. John's College has and is and will continue to provide the necessary clerical and library assistance to compile and maintain a com­ plete genealogical record. There need be no fear that the record will be used in any manner not authorized by the Society. Attention is, also, invited to the Treasurer’s Report - filed in this communication under Line IX of the column "From Among the Branches". It is the sense of your Acting Regents that all descendants are automatically, by birth, members of the Society in good standing - that there will be no monetary requirement to maintain such membership in good standing - that the activities of the Society as such will be maintained when, as, and if sufficient funds for such purposes are voluntarily contributed by members who are will­ ing and able to do so - and that the estimated cost of a project will be submitted to the en­ tire membership before any action on it will be taken by the Officers, Regents, or Society, as such. If the response to this newsletter justifies another, the custom initiated herein of reporting incidents of ancient history of significance to Key descendants will be continued. Our Country nourishes a tremendous force of tradition associated with the name of Francis Scott Key. has sprung. No one knows all of the incidents and events from which this force They are of importance and should be of interest to all our children. This communication may help to pass them on. All cousins are urged to keep a watchful eye on developments originating or having originated in the public schools of Hicksville, Long Island, New York. Please communi­ cate promptly with your Acting Chairman if you think any action looking toward proper patriotic or religious objectives can be taken by our Society as an organized group or by any of its Officers, Regents, or Members. I �VENTURESOME SCULPTORS Marian Brackenridge Sonoma, California Studied under Leo Lenteili at the Art Students League in New York and with the famous Venetian sculptor, Ettore Cadorin. She has worked in charcoal, clay, wood, ivory and other materials. With Cadorin, she worked on the bronze of Father Junipero Serra in the National Capitol in Washington, D. C. , and the statues of St.Peter, St. Paul, and St.John in the National Cathedral of the Episcopal Church, also in Washington, D.C. Working alone she has done corbels and stone statues, to be seen in that cathedral, of St. Andrew, St. Francis, St. Patrick, and Joan of Arc, as well as a stone head of Albert Schweitzer. Her three large panels on the Annunciation, Nativity, and Visitation, for reredos are in the Church of the Incarnation, in Baltimore, Md. She has done bronze portrait bas-reliefs of living subjects -- a field which she considers her forte. From the Charles Wilson Peale oil portrait of Francis Scott Key at age 17, she has done the 18 x 23 inch bas-relief shown. This was his graduation portrait. A bronze of this work would constitute a very fitting and appropriate memorial gift from the family to St.John's College, to be placed in the Key Memorial Auditorium there. The artists price for a bronze of it was $800. 00. This has been advanced by your Acting Chairman, who will hold the bronze until such time as the Society of Descendants may be established on a permanent legal basis and sufficient funds contributed to cover the cost of incorpora­ tion of the Society and 75% of the above figure for the memorial gift -- which does not in­ clude the expense of mounting it in a suitable location at St.John's. Richard H. Recchia Rockport, Massachusetts Is a member of the National Sculpture Society and National Academy of Design. His work may be seen in the Red Cross Museum, Washington, D. C. ; the Speed Memorial Museum, in Kentucky; the Boston State House; Brookgreen Gardens; Harvard, Brown, and Purdue Universities; Buffalo Museum of Arts and Sciences; facade of the Boston Art Mu­ seum; the General Stark equestrian statue in Manchester, N. H. ; as well as in private collections. They have won for him the following awards: Kimball prize; gold medal and Cross of Honor, International Exposition of Italy; bronze medal, Panama Pacific Exposi­ tion; Lindsay Morris prize of the National Sculpture Society; and the Watrous Gold Medal of the National Academy. He has recently completed a plaster four foot statue of Francis Scott Key composing the "Star Spangled Banner". The creation depicts a young man attired in the dress of the period standing with arm outstretched and hand holding a scroll. He would like to see this work erected in heroic size somewhere in Maryland or even in the present four foot size ' in some museum. No cost estimates for such a memorial are available. FROM FORT MC HENRY The staff from which the Star Spangled Banner flew in 1814 was recreated by hand by a flagstaff maker of 29 years of experience in June 1959. Research by a six man Govern­ ment team indicated that it should stand 84 feet above ground and weigh three tons. It is estimated that the new staff will last from 75 to 80 years. 2 �OUR SPONSORS Maryland Historical Society 201 West Monument St. , Baltimore, Maryland Under the terms of two wills, the Society has received more than $2, 500, 000. 00 to be used for erection of a new building west of the present headquarters on Monument Street. Mr. James W. Foster, Director of the Society, under date of October 23, 1961, advised that construction was expected to start within a year and be completed in 18 months or two years. He suggested that 1964 might be the earliest date for a con­ vention of our Society of Descendants to be held in Baltimore. He felt confident that the shrine where the original manuscript of the National Anthem is now installed would not be moved. Under date of May 7, 1962. your Acting Chairman was advised by Mr. Harold R. Manakee. Assistant Director of the Maryland Historical Society of Mr. Foster's sudden death on April 30, 1962. This has been a great loss to the Historical Society as well as to our Society of Descendants. Mr. Foster offered the fullest cooperation of the Histori­ cal Society in our efforts to establish a Society of Descendants. He encouraged your Act­ ing Chairman when a Society of Descendants was no more than a gleam in his eye. We hope that the Historical Society will accept this as our expression of condolence and regret and continue the policy of cooperation with us established by Mr. Foster. St. John's College, Annapolis, Maryland Two years from now and 1, 700 miles away from its present site, St. John's College, Annapolis, plans to duplicate one of the most remarkable experiments in 20th Century higher education in America, Initially, the Santa Fe College is expected to copy in fairly full detail the small Annapolis College of 300. Once it is firmly underway, according to President Richard D. Weigle, who will head both institutions. St.John's officials hope the Santa Fe College will be free to develop its own particular direction. What makes St.John's College different from other colleges in the United States 7 First is its famed "great books, " non-elective curriculum. It offers one single, non­ elective program which all students must take. As a college without a curriculum designed along "major" and "minor" lines, it stands alone among American colleges. Students are subjected to four years of mathematics, ranging from Euclid to transfinite numbers, and four years of laboratory science in which students perform crucial experi­ ments in physics, chemistry and biology. In addition, there are four years of languages and a year and a half of music. Because there is just one single curriculum, students may enter St.John's only as freshmen. While they may transfer to other colleges as upperclassmen, no upperclassman can be enrolled at St.John's. The college is proud of its small student-faculty ratio. There are seven students for each faculty member, a ratio sufficiently small to enable St.John's to abandon the pedagogical method in which an instructor lectures from notes to students who take notes and return them via examination. Instead of a lecturing system, instruction in the tutorials, as classes are called, follow a face-to-face, dialectical method. There is full opportunity for the student to be -- and he is supposed to be -- an active, not passive, participant. Non-denominational, St.John s for some reason continues to attract more men than women students, although It was opened to women in 1951. While the program is a rigorous one. St. John's officials do not consider it something simply to be offered to young intellectual giants. It is also one, they believe, which can be completed by a student classified as a "good average". 3 �PROJECT NO. 1 THE PERMANENT GENEALOGY RECORD AT ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE Under date of September 27, 1961, Miss Charlotte Fletcher, Librarian of St. John’s College, reported that genealogy record cards had been received for a number of names not on our mailing list representing children of known living descendants who have re­ ceived our communications. The status of the record as of that time was: Line I - Descendants of Elizabeth Phoebe Key (1803-1897) and Charles Howard (1802-1869). The list shows 39 names; 25 had not sent in their records. Line 11 - Descendants of Maria Lloyd Key (1805-1897) and Henry Maynadier Steele (1798-1863). The list shows 27 names; 24 had not sent in their records. Line III - Descendants of Francis Scott Key, Jr. (1806-1866) and Elizabeth Lloyd Harwood (1807-1902). The list shows 8 names; 6 had not sent in their records. Line V - Descendants of Ann Arnold Key (1811-1884) and Daniel Turner (1796-1860), The list shows 12 names; 10 had not sent in their records. Line VIII - Descendants of Philip Barton Key (1818-1859) and Ellen Swan (1824-1859). The list shows 20 names; 17 had not sent in their records. Line IX - Descendants of Ellen Lloyd Key (1821-1884) and Simon Frazer Blunt (1818-1854). The list shows 4 names; all had sent in their records. Line X - Descendants of Mary Alicia Lloyd Nevins Key (1824-1886) and George Hunt Pendleton (1825-1889). The list shows 6 names; 4 had sent in their records. Line XI - Descendants of Charles Henry Key (1827-1869) and Elizabeth Tayloe Lloyd (1827-1881). The list shows 3 names; one had sent in her record. This does not indicate an impressive showing of interest. We hope that during the past year, the record has become more nearly complete. If you are not sure that your record has already gone to St. John's College Library, please send it to Miss Fletcher without delay. All available printed cards have been distributed. If you have lost or misplaced your card, write to St.John's College Library, Annapolis, Maryland, giving the following information: Your name and address Date and place of your birth Name of your husband or wife Date and place of your marriage Names, birthdates, birthplaces, and addresses of any children' Names (and dates of birth and death if known) of the individuals through whom you are descended from Francis Scott and Mary Tayloe Lloyd Key The compilation of the record at St. John's College is the only family project in which your Acting Board of Regents is now interested or concerned. There need be no fear that the record compiled there will ever be used for any purpose not authorized by the Society. ;• �FROM AMONG THE BRANCHES News from the eight lines of descent from Francis Scott and Mary Tayloe Lloyd Key for which we have addresses of living members of the family has been scanty and scattered. We don’t quite yet know who we all are well enough to have named a reporter or genealogist for each line. A genealogical identification numbering system might help. Under such a system, every member's identification number is coded according to chronology of birth and generation from the ancestor by whose name the family is known. For example No. 1-2-3 represents the third child of the second child of the first child. According to the records in St.John’s College Library, your Acting Chairman is No. 10-3-1, the first child of Jane Frances Pendleton, who was the third child of Alice Key, who was the tenth child of Francis Scott and Mary Tayloe Lloyd Key. According to the same records, No. 1-2 would have been Captain John Eager Howard, CSA, 1828-1911, unmarried; No. 2-3-2 is Cousin Cecil Herbert Claude, born 1897, carried in the record as unmarried, address unknown; No. 3-7-1-1-2 is Francis Scott Key, Jr. , Born 1944, of the only branch now bearing the family name KEY; etc. , etc. Or the numbers could start at our own ends of the lines rather than at Francis Scott and Mary Tayloe Lloyd Key’s end. I would be No. 1-3-10; Capt. Howard No. 2-1; Cousin C. H. Claude - incidentally our principal candidate for the missing persons column this year - would still be No. 2-3-2; and young Francis Scott Key, Jr. , No. 2-I-1-7-3. Of course, we could employ someone to go into the Key Genealogy File at St.John's College Library to calculate each of our family identification numbers and let us know them - but, as you can see, the treasury is not up to that yet, and St.John's still doesn’t know all of our children. If you like the idea, why not calculate your own number and let us have it for the card file which we keep here of members who have responded hereto­ fore to our various communications. Records here are incomplete - but we have calculated some numbers - many inaccurate no doubt - as a starter. L I NE - I Evelyn Tyson Kidder (1-3-2) favors the idea that the Society might grant a scholarship to a deserving student or send an underprivileged child to camp - rather than place a wreath on our Grandfather's grave - when, as, and if the status of our treasury might ever permit. Evelyn Bayly Doyle (I-3-2-2) teaches Sunday School in Oyster Bay, L.I. , New York, and "pursues painting" while her husband Bill is learning to fly a glider. Their eldest, Howard, is a music major, and youngest, Herrick, likes to swim. Mary Howard Lloyd (1-4-?) writes that her life is so quiet that she has nothing to report tut everyone close to her knows that she spends a great part of it doing kind things for others. Elizabeth Lloyd Schiller (1-4-2) reports that the garden of the Lloyd-Chase House in Annapolis has had its face lifted by 16 small boxwoods from Wye House garden to form "The Lloyd Walk" there. She has completed a survey and cross index of the Wye Graveyard, with all inscriptions, which has been filed with the Society for Preservation of Maryland Antiquities. Edward Lloyd (1-4-3-1) points out that there are hundreds of organizations campaigning actively for funds to send needy children to camps; and that the selection of a beneficiary would present problems of adminstration, impartiality, race, creed, color, etc. When, as, and if, as a Society, we would ever afford a wreath on the grave, he thinks it would be more suitable. He would prefer to have any such money turned over to St.John’s College at Annapolis for a prize for the best essay on Francis Scott Key, submitted by a member of the Senior Class. 5 �Catherine deWolf Lloyd Clore (1-4-6-3) is a member of the Altar Guild at the Episcopal Cathedral of the Diocese of Arizona and does Gray Lady work among her Indians and at the Florence Crittenton Home and Gompers Clinic for Crippled Children. Returning from the Islands on a Pan American World Airways System jet in 1961, the pilot turned out to be Captain Francis Scott Key Lewis. ’’Yes” - he wrote "he was my Great-GreatUncle in my Mother's line, which comes from F. S. Key's sister. " (Note: -- Ann Key married Roger Brooke Taney at Terra Rubra, Maryland, on January 7, 1806). W. Ward Clore, Jr. (1-4-6-3-1) Under his sponsorship, the Episcopal Young Churchmen of Trinity Cathedral in Phoenix, Arizona, have trebled their membership during the past year. Portia Rich Hoekstra (1-4-6-1-1) is reported by our Line I correspondent as "a full-time mother"; Peter, a high school senior; Anna, a high school freshman -- "talent in Art and Sewing"; Margaret, Age 10 -- "scholarly"; Betsy, Age 8, "sings"; Andrea, 6, is in Kinder­ garten; Mary Jo, 4, is "big and tough"; Catherine, 2, is "chubby and red-headed"; John Thomas - "no talents indicated as of this date". (Note: We didn't have Cousin Portia's address when the genealogy cards were distributed. Suspect she will have to employ a secretary to get the record straight in St.John's College Library). Lloyd deWolf Clore Ray (1-4-6-3-2) is also a full-time mother. Catherine, first grade parochial school; Barbara deWolf, kindergarten; Anne Marie, Age 4; Harry Charles Ray, HI, Age 3; Deborah, Age 2. Howard Key Morgan (1 -9-2-1) is very sure that the work your Acting Regents have been doing is worth an annual contribution from everyone except the minor children. His ideas have been incorporated into the fiscal policy outlined in our editorial. L I N E - II Edith Bartow Bliss (2-7-3-2) sends her check from Martha's Vineyard and a letter heartily endorsing the work of our Acting Regents, in which she states that she is sure that two inherited portraits which she has loaned to the Maryland Historical Society should be at St. John’s. We hope that this will not result in any friction between our sponsors. Howard Key Bartow (2-7-?-?) would like to have copies of the genealogical charts from which our mailing list of living descendants has been compiled. These two charts were developed by Donald Key King, a professional genealogist, and Alice Key Pendleton Joline (10-3-2) in response to the call from St.John's College in 1953 to compile a list of living descendants. They are far from complete as indicated by our question marks above. The record will be completed only when all eligible members have filed their genealogical record cards in St.John's College Library. The carbons we have here are difficult to read in tracing the lines, and cover 31 closely typed pages. To edit and distribute a chart that might be complete even as far as the fourth generation would probably cost at least $500.00. Please send your check to the Treasurer earmarked if you would like such a project initiated. Edith Claude Jarvis (2-1-3-4) is Owner and Manager of the Jarvis School Bureau at 3 Dupont Circle, Washington 6, D.C. , which sent 400 children to camps in the U.S.A. , Switzerland, and Austria during the Summer and enrolled 200 in boarding schools during the Fall. She is now entering her fourteenth year of service as the only woman on the Board of Managers of Chevy Chase Village. She and Bill attended the Francis Scott Key Memorial Stamp Ceremonies at Fort McHenry in I960 and travelled in Portugal and Spain in 1961. They are camellia-fans and have gone all-out in the planting, purchase of books, and joining the Camellia Society in Chevy Chase, Md. �Patrick Henry Key (3-7-1 -3) is in the United States Merchant Marine. been wide and many. His last trip was to Hong Kong. His travels have Francis Scott Key, Jr. (3-7-1-1-2) achieved the highest mark in a mathematics test given by American Telephone and Telegraph Company at Dumont High School, New Jersey, and is now working and studying with that Company in New York City. Noel Mary Key (3-7-1—1-1) married John Leverett Hartle in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, on May 26, T^Z. John is graduating from Teachers College, after which they plan to make their home in Lansdowne, Pennsylvania. L 1 N E - V Anna Key Palmer (5-2-1) who sat with the President of the United States as the oldest living of the oldest generation of descendants on the occasion of the dedication of the Key Memorial Auditorium on the Campus of St.John's College, Annapolis, Maryland, on May 22, 1959, died at the age of 94 at her home in Ventnor, New Jersey, on May 3, 1961. She would have been our Grand Matriarc had our proposed constitution been adopted be­ fore her death. She was strongly in favor of establishing a permanent Family Society, and compiling a complete genealogical record at St.John’s. Her name appeared on the first call to assemble at St. John's on May 22, 1959. Daniel Key Turner, III (5-7-1-4-1). With regard to this new member, the San Francisco Examiner of January 23, 1962, had this to say: "He is a direct descendant of Francis Scott Key, composer of the "Star Spangled Banner", but that's not all. His Great-GreatGrandfather, the first Daniel Turner, was a Navy Officer who came from Alabama to California in 1834 to help Admiral Farragut establish the Mare Island Navy Yard. " LINE- VIll George Washington Dobbin (8-1-1-4) attended the first day of issue ceremonies for the Francis Scott Key Credo Memorial Stamp at Fort McHenry and wrote that the Post Office Department had done a "whale of a job" on that function. A year ago he took over direct responsibility for the conduct of annual Heart Fund Campaign in the Baltimore-Annapolis area. He has developed a plan under which our mailing list for an annual newsletter could be managed for approximately $350. 00 to $400. 00 per year. Elizabeth Key Guinness (8-1-6-2) writes from 104 Kensington Church Street, London W-8, England, that her son Dennys Key Guinness is Captain-Royal Tank Regiment. L I N E - IX Wilfrid M. Blunt (9-2-1) Colonel U.S.A. Retired is still known in the Army as a top bracket polo player. He has been active in the Republican cause and a yachtsman for recreation. As our Treasurer, he reports for the period from May 26, I960, to June 1, 1962, as follows: Contributions from members of the Family -- $510.00 Expenditures for Secretarial work, printing, and postage----- - -- - --------- - ----------- - ------- 432.47 Balance on hand, deposited with Suburban Trust Co., Bethesda, Maryland----------- ----- $ 77.53 Mary Blunt Henson (9-2-1-1) lives in Sacramento, California, and has the following children: Laurel Fraser (9-2-1-1-1), Mark (9-2-1-1-2), Katherine Fleming (9-2-1-1-3), Robin (9-2-1-1-4), Mary Ross (9-2-1-1-5), Joel T. (9-2-1-1-6), Abigail (9-2-1-1-7). We hope the St.John's College Library has a complete record. �Ellen Key Blunt (9-2-1-2) kept the minutes of our first organization convention at Annapolis on May 22, 1959. She is now a reporter for the Washington, D.C. , Post. Elizabeth Blunt (9-2-1-3) is Assistant Director of the Bethesda, Maryland, office of CARE. L 1 N E - X Your Acting Chairman (10-3-1) has been writing a chapter for a symposium on "Cine­ micrography in Cell Biology" to be published by Academic Press of 111 Fifth Avenue, New York. This has delayed the editing, production, and distribution of this newsletter. He is Research Associate in Bacteriology at Davis, California, Campus of the University of California, For recreation, he fishes and cruises with his wife Alice Lloyd (nee Winder) on the 17-ft. cabin outboard "White Swan". After diligent study since the dates of publication of "Spangled Banner" by Victor Weybright, Farrar & Rinehart, Inc. , New York, 1935; and "Francis Scott Key - Life and Times" by Edward S. Delaplane, Biography Press, New York, 1937, he has developed a 35 minute talk on the defense of Fort McHenry and writing of the Anthem. This has been well received during the past three years by Rotary Clubs in Santa Rosa, Petaluma, and San Anselmo; Kiwanis Club in Santa Rosa; Sonoma Historical Society; and California Committee of the Society of the Cincinnati. Alice Key Pendleton Joline, Jr. (10-3-2) has been active and an officer in the Wayne Pennsylvania Art Club and Center. She works in oils and water colors. Her things have been hung in a number of salon exhibits. JohnF. Joline, III (10-3-2-1) is Headmaster at the Darrow (boys private) School, New Lebanon, New York. His theory is that talent is the only valid basis for the foundation of an aristocracy. Lawrence Joline (10-3-2-2) has been working for several years with the underwater ex­ ploration projects in the Mediterranean of the University of Pennsylvania Museum. Julia Frances Chubb (10-3-3-1) is a medical technologist, senior in charge of the labora­ tory where she works. For recreation - skiing (snow not water) with the Sierra Club, or kodachromes with the San Jose, California, Camera Club, Sarah Jane Chubb (10-3-3-2) teaches at grammar school, also in Santa Clara County, California, during the school year. With sister Frances and roommate, she enjoyed the 1962 Summer vacation in Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks. RECEIVED TOO LATE TO CLASSIFY Alice C. Wainwright (5-11-2-2) is Metropolitan Commissioner of the City of Miami, Florida. We have pictures - but no dates - of her breaking ground with the architect and chairman of the Citizen's Committee for the new Coconut Grove Plaza Park develop­ ment; and presenting the key to the City to the World president of the YWCA. Dorothea Lane Cutts (5-11-2-1-1) is now 22 and has a position with a firm of attorneys in Washington, D.C. 8 �KEEPING THE RECORD STRAIGHT BY RADIO The following correspondence has been paraphrased in the interest of space -printers -- not outer. Mr. Mel Venter Telo-Test Program-Radio Station KGO 277 Golden Gate Avenue, San Francisco, Calif. May 1, 1962 > Dear Mr. Venter: I was very much interested in your Tello-Test Program of April 25, 1962. Your identification of the City where the original manuscript, of "The Star Spangled Banner" may be seen as Baltimore was correct. However, it has not been in the Walters Gallery there since 1953. Since then, it has been preserved by the Maryland Historical Society, where it is kept in an hermetically sealed glass case filled with helium in a decorative alcove or shrine, the dome of which depicts the exact star formation in the heavens above Fort McHenry, Maryland, as it existed before dawn on September 14, 1814. ■■'4’ 'f' -w’' >- ,1* > — ■ “ Sincerely yours, ARTHUR T. BRICE Colonel AUS Retired (10-3-1) W « » — — — « » — •• -> — Colonel Arthur T. Brice 656 Austin Avenue, Sonoma, California May 10, 1962 Dear Colonel Brice: Needless to say we are grateful for your most interesting letter of May 1st to Mr. Venter. We produce the Tello-Test show Nationally and provide all questions, answers, and source material. I find that our sources for this particular program were several years old, and that you are indeed right. Accordingly, 1 am updating our script, as we may want to use this program in other markets around the Country. Thank you very much for your letter. Sincerely, PHILIP SCHWIMMER Research Director Radio Features Inc. , Chicago 1, Ill. August 16, 1962 Director, Maryland Historical Society 201 West Monument Street Baltimore, Maryland A few months ago we used the following question on our Tello-Test Stations in the West-coastal states: "In what city would you find the original manuscript of 'The Star Spangled Banner'?" -- the answer of course being Baltimore. Through the kindness of the Chairman of the Society of Descendants of Francis Scott Key, we learned that our script giving the additional information that it was in the Walters Art Gallery was in error. The source material for this script was the 1956 editions of Collier's Encyclopedia and the Compton's Pictured Encyclopedia. I am enclosing our revised script, written this week, for your interest, but I think it should be called to your attention that the 1962 editions of both these encyclopedias still state that the manuscript is in the Walters Gallery. I have spoken by telephone with Mr. Roberts of Comptons, here in Chicago. Perhaps you will want to write to Dr. J. Parker Sondheimer, Research Editor of Colliers Ency­ clopedia at 640 Fifth Avenue, New York, or perhaps an Officer or Member of the Society 9 �of Descendants of Francis Scott Key will write for you. I might add that the S.D.F.S.K letterhead should have a more influencing effect than any letter by you or me. Sincerely, PHILIP SCHWIMMER Research Director Radio Features Inc., Chicago, 1, III. Postscript: The letterhead has been used in the manner suggested and we hope has created an authentic and accurate impression. OUT OF THE PAST A communication published by the San Francisco Chronicle on February 4, 1944: Editor: Referring to your editorial. January 31, 1944, on the contrast between the high money prizes for the new Russian national anthem, and the little probably received by composers like Francis Scott Key; as the last living granddaughter of Francis Scott Key I wish to inform you that "What he got" out of writing "The Star-Spangled Banner" was the satisfaction of thus expressing his love for his Country, and that I do not at all envy the composers of today. My pride in our National Anthem far outweighs their pecuniary remuneration. JANE F. BRICE (10-3) ******* * * ***** An interested genealogical researcher has sent us a complete roster of members of the Confederate Armed Forces from Anne Arundel County, Maryland, commanded by Brigadier General George H. Steuart, which includes the name of William Key (3-9), born 1846, died unmarried, for the Confederate cause, in a Union Prison in Washington D.C. , in 1865. A copy of the Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine for May 1886, bearing the pencilled name Pendleton on the cover has been turned up from the family attic by Julia Frances Chubb (10-3-3-1). George Hunt Pendleton, 1825 - 1889, was the husband of Mary Alicia Lloyd Nevins Key. 10th child of Francis Scott and Mary Tayloe Lloyd Key, (In a note to Thomas Harrison Montgomery, the pioneer in Key genealogy, dated March 21, 1885, she is re­ ported to have written: "I was christened Alice and bore no other name. ") As Senator from Ohio. Pendleton introduced the bill enacted by the Congress and the President which placed a monument over Grandfather Key’s grave at Frederick, Maryland, and further provided that the flag should fly over it continuously, day and night, forever. The magazine contains an article by Talesin Evans describing "A Californian's Gift to Science". James Lick was born in Pennsylvania in 1796. As a piano and organ maker, he arrived in California with a moderate fortune in 1847. Two years before his death in 1876, he conveyed his entire fortune, estimated at four million dollars, to a Board of Trustees to be divided among public charities, and for the erection of specified important institutions. Among the latter was the astronomical observatory on Mount Hamilton for the University of California which bears his name, and for the California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, a bronze monument "To the Memory of Francis Scott Key, Author of the Song 'The Star Spangled Banner'. ” James Lick was an apprentice in Baltimore at the time of the defense of Fort McHenry. His Executors awarded the commission for the work prescribed in his will to the sculptor William Wetmore Story, who won the award in open competition in 1885. Story executed the statue in Rome. It was shipped to San Francisco and arrived aboard the Italian freighter Pietro B. in January 1888. The Trustees of the Lick Estate re­ 10 �quested certain changes in the original design which they had accepted. The sculptor refused to make them. The changes were made by another artisan under orders of the Trustees, and the huge memorial was dedicated on July 4, 1888, at an elaborate cere­ mony at which a salute of 100 guns was fired by a detachment of artillery from the Presidio of San Francisco. The Trustees charged the cost of the changes against Story's final bill. Story re­ fused to accept the charge, and a law suit hung on for several years. It was settled in the sculptor's favor in 1894. The cost of the monument was $60, 000. 00. The base of the monument is of travertine stone. On its four sides are inlaid marble slabs, on two of which are engraved the four verses of the Anthem. One bears the dedication in memory of Francis Scott Key, dated 1887; the other a wreath of oak and laurel leaves surrounding a lyre. The base supports four Corinthian columns between which the heroic size bronze statue of Key sits - his cloak over an arm of the chair pen poised in right hand - a scroll of paper in his left - a beautifully modeled work of art. Over his head the columns support a travertine canopy. Its classical cornice bears four bronze eagles at the corners. Between them four stone bulls heads hold garlands of laurel. Above rises an heroic bronze statue of Liberty, wearing helmet and sword, and holding the banner loosely furled about its staff in her right hand. * ***** national anthem vs NATIONAL SPORT ***** On or about June 2Z, 1962, some unknown patriotic observer noticed that, when the San Francisco Giants of the National League played their games at night by artificial illumination on their home grounds in San Francisco, the games were opened by the play­ ing of the National Anthem, but the Star Spangled Banner was not flown. Research indi­ cated that the only other major league team not flying the Star Spangled Banner at their night games was the New York Mets, based at the Polo Grounds, New York, It was pointed out that Francis Scott Key saluted the Banner in his own immortal words over Fort McHenry on September 14, 1814, by artificial illumination, and that Public Law 829 passed by the 77th Congress specifically states that "The Flag may be displayed at night upon special occasions when it is desired to produce a patriotic effect". It is now so flown at every game of the Giants played at night in San Francisco. �BOOK REVIEWS The Virginia Bishop - A Yankee Hero of the Confederacy. John Sumner Wood. Garrett and Massie, Inc., Richmond, Va. 1961. John Johns of Delaware was one of the foremost presidents (1849-1854) of the College of William and Mary. He was also deeply interested in the Theological Seminary and High School of the Protestant Episcopal Church, of the Diocese of Virginia, which he virtually re-founded after the war between the states, and served as president until his death in 1876. This rambling series of word pictures of different phases of his life and times in a young and vigorous nation suggests a close professional relationship between the younger Rev. John Johns and Francis Scott Key, Esquire, 17 years his senior. Key was a member of All Saints Parish in Frederick Town, Maryland, when the Rev. Johns was called to be its Rector a few weeks after his ordination in 1819. Elected with others as "Managers" of the Christian Education Society of the Church in 1825, they established the farsighted policy under which thereafter the Virginia Seminary required each candidate for admission to present a college diploma, or pass special ex* aminations on philosophy, rhetoric, Latin, and Greek. Interview in Weehawken - The Burr-Hamilton Duel as Told in the Original Docum.euts. Edited by Harold C. Syrett & Jean G. Cooke with an Introduction and Conclusion by Willard M. Wallace - Wesleyan University Press, Middletown, Conn. I960. This book tells the story as it developed, in the words of the actors themselves. As a first-hand view of an important historical event in the process of developing, this book has few parallels. It will be of principal interest to the Line No. 10 Members of this Society. Hamilton's Second was Captain Nathaniel Pendleton whose Grandson, George Hunt Pendleton married Alice Key, the tenth child of Francis Scott and Mary Tayloe Lloyd Key. Your Acting Chairman and Editor inherited a pair of pistols by Grice of London for which claims had been made by an earlier generation that, if they were not the pistols used in the duel, they had probably been taken to Weehawken by Pendleton and discarded by the principals in favor of lighter weapons. They are flintlocks of approximately . 50 caliber and 9-inch barrels, undoubtedly the side arms of Major General Nathaniel Greene, presented to his Aide, Captain Nathaniel Pendleton, after the Revolution. A source at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York has been reported to have said that if all the pistols alleged to have been used in the duel were valid, there must have been a wagon load of them at the field of honor in Weehawken at sunrise on July II, 1804. �'i 1 HAIL AND FAREWELL ? ? On May 22, 1959, the following assembled at the Key Memorial Auditorium of St.John's College, Annapolis, Maryland: Miss Ellen Key Blunt Miss Elizabeth Blunt Col. & Mrs. Wilfrid M. Blunt Col. &r Mrs. Arthur T. Brice Gen. & Mrs. Richard W. Cutts Mr. George W. Dobbin Mrs. Robert A. Dobbin Mrs. William Harvey Doyle, Jr. Mr. Howard H. Doyle Mrs. S. Wilson Heaton Mrs. William Taber Jarvis Mrs. John Forsyth Joline, Jr. Mr, Laurence Turnbull Joline Mr. Christian Albert Keller Mr. & Mrs. Francis Scott Key Miss Katherine Key-Smith Mrs. Robert H. Key-Smith Mr. Gilbert Key-Smith Mrs. Herrick Taber Kidder Miss Mary Howard Lloyd Mr. Edward Lloyd Mrs. Josephine Browne Masi Mrs. James Edward Palmer Mrs. Miles P. Standish Mrs. Morgan Burdette Schiller Mr. John T. Wainwright Miss Mary Katherine Weld To paraphrase in part Cousin Ellen Blunt's minutes of the meeting: "Cousin Arthur Brice, (10-3-1), explained how the idea of a Key Family Society had come up in his im­ mediate family. His Mother, Cousin Jeannie, (10-3), had been able to name from mem­ ory 75 of her 100 first cousins before she died at age 90 in 1950. President Weigle of St.John's College got in touch with the family in 1953, looking for living descendants to invite to the laying of a cornerstone. Cousin Arthur had only one first cousin and thought it would be nice to have more and for all of us to know each other better and be able to claim 100 or more cousins. " "Cousin Arthur" now feels that the claim at least has been established. You all have names and addresses of more than 100 cousins. As to knowing each other better -- time will tell. The record (see Project No. 1), has been set up at St.John's College Library. The response has not been encouraging. The financing has been on a shoestring that is about worn out. This publication is costing about $200. 00. There is $77. 53 in the Treas­ ury. "Cousin Arthur" now feels a little like the sergeant must have felt. who. in World War 1. released a homing pigeon from the line of battle carrying a message to the Army command post -- "1 have carried this bird as far as I am going to". Or Longfellow's bowman who knew not where his arrow would land. He cannot call on his only first cousin. George Hunt Pendleton 11. (10-1-1). died in 1938. He hopes that some one or more of the 100 plus will step up "in loco first cousin" and help him carry the ball from here on out. TAPS In announcing the 100th anniversary ceremonies commemorating the first sounding of the bugle call for "lights out" by Butterfield's Brigade after the hard fighting of the peninsular campaign early in July 1862. the New York Times makes the statement that "the piece ranks with The Star Spangled Banner in its appeal to Americans". The new call not only spread through the Union Army, but was taken up by Confeder­ ate buglers who could hear it across the quiet James River in tidewater Virginia. It was soon used at military funerals in place of the customary rifle volleys, which might attract enemy attention, and was played at the funeral of General Stonewall Jackson of the Confederacy. Like the Star Spangled Banner, its authority and appeal rests on tradition and use rather than on any legislative or executive action. 13 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Society of the Descendants of Francis Scott Key Records Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context SDFSK Description An account of the resource The Society of the Descendants of Francis Scott Key Records contain correspondence, publications, and administrative and financial records relating to the Society, Francis Scott Key, and St. John's College. Many of the records involve compiling a genealogical record and address list of members of the Society, but the records also document Francis Scott Key's history and his influence on American society and St. John's College.<br /><br />For more information about the records, please see the <a href="https://sjc.libraryhost.com/repositories/2/resources/9">finding aid</a>. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 15 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Freemen Stand, Volume 1 Number 1 (January 1963) Description An account of the resource Freemen Stand, Volume 1 Number 1 (January 1963). First issue of the newsletter for the Society of the Descendants of Francis Scott Key. Published in Sonoma, California. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Brice, Arthur Tilghman, 1892- The Society of the Descendants of Francis Scott Key Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available The Society of the Descendants of Francis Scott Key Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1963-01 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource <strong>No Copyright - United States<br /></strong><a href="https://rightsstatements.org/page/NoC-US/1.0/?language=en">https://rightsstatements.org/page/NoC-US/1.0/?language=en</a><strong><br /></strong>The organization that has made the Item available believes that the Item is in the Public Domain under the laws of the United States, but a determination was not made as to its copyright status under the copyright laws of other countries. The Item may not be in the Public Domain under the laws of other countries. Please refer to St. John's College for more information.<br /><br /><span class="TextRun SCXW86751912 BCX0"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW86751912 BCX0">Please make sure to credit St. John's College using the citation provided in this record.</span></span><span class="EOP SCXW86751912 BCX0"> </span> Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource PDF Subject The topic of the resource Key family Key, Francis Scott, 1779-1843 St. John's College (Annapolis, Md.) Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context SDFSK Records Box 4 Folder 2 Francis Scott Key Francis Scott Key Auditorium https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/5528f406e3279a7bb88129b3ab6818e4.pdf 18ace7e68b2807be9d686d833b858aa1 PDF Text Text ARTHUR T. BRICE, VOLUME I DIAL PRINTING. PRINTER EDITOR SONOMA. CALIFORNIA, JULY. 1966 USS FRANCIS SCOTT KEY, launched at Groton, Connecticut 11:00 AM April 23, 1966. NUMBER 2 �O thus be it ever when freemen shall stand Between their lov'd home and the war's desolation; Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land Praise the power that hath made and preserv'd us a nation! Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just. And this be our motto: "In God is our trust!" And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave! �THE PAST IS PROLOGUE The launching of the atomic submarine, the USS FRANCIS SCOTT KEY named for our illustrious forebear, provided an occasion for the first general assembly of this Society since its formation at Annapolis, Maryland, in 1959. The events and formalities of April 22 and 23, 1966, at Groton and New London, Connecticut, celebrating the christening and launching undoubtedly strengthened the integrity of the Society as a unit. Our hosts for these events were the Electric Boat Company Division of General Dynamics Corporation builders of the ship for the U.S. Navy. They had extended invitations to all members of the Society whose addresses were known for the christening and launching as well as a luncheon reception afterwards. In addition, they gave a formal dinner the night before the christening in honor of the two sponsors, Marjory Key Thorne and Edith Claude Jarvis. This affair was attended by high officials of the Electric Boat Company, a number of selected Naval Officers, and the Matrons of Honor of the Sponsors, Mrs. C. T. Lyon and Mrs. Milton E. Miles. On this occasion, Mrs, Jarvis contributed to the sense of solidarity of the Society of Descendants in all minds by presenting State of Maryland New York World's Fair Francis Scott Key gold medallions to wives of Boat Company officials who were most active in making local arrangements for the social events of the occasion, Mesdames J. Wm. Jones, Allan Dunning, and Robert Chappel, as well as to the skipper of the Blue Crew of the Ship, Captain Frank Graham, USN. CHRISTENING AND LAUNCHING Th^ extent to which our ancestor still lives through his influence on our modern United States community and society was demonstrated by the crowds who attended the event. There were overalls and hair curlers from the work­ shops where the ship had been built. There was Brass from Wall Street, Groton, New London, and Washington, D.C. , where she had been planned. They must now equip her for a commission by the U.S. Navy. The ceremony was attended by a large Naval contingent, including the per­ sonnel of the two -- Blue and Gold -- crews selected to man the vessel, officials of the Electric Boat Company, a detachment of Sea Scouts and more than 3, 000 citizens, including those members of our Society present. The route through the shipyard to the ways was through a double line of our National Flags held by blue-jackets and past an honor guard of Sea Scouts. Red, white and blue bunting decorated the bow of the Ship and the launching stand. Com­ bined with perfect weather, and the Navy Special Show Band which played during the assembly prior to the launching, these local arrangements provided a gala and auspicious setting for the historic event. The ceremony was opened by an inspiring rendition of the National Anthem, the "Star Spangled Banner", followed by a stirring address by the Hon. David G, Bress who now holds the position once held by our ancestor, Francis Scott Key, United States Attorney for the District of Columbia. He gave an account of the - 1 - �Defense of Fort McHenry, Grandfather Key's trip to the British Fleet, the bom­ bardment and the writing of the Anthem, to which even the most meticulous of historians could find no exception. At exactly eleven o'clock on 23rd of April, 1966, the Sponsors, our Record­ ing Secretary Edith Claude Jarvis and Cousin Marjory Key Thorne, each broke a bottle of champagne on the bow, and the newest nuclear submarine USS FRANCIS SCOTT KEY slid down the ways in the bright sunlight amid the waving flags, accompanied by the cheers of spectators and the spirited music of the Navy Band. RECEPTION The importance of the occasion, the number of distinguished guests involved, and the wishes of the Acting Regents of the Society of Descendants to hold a short family gathering called for the use of two rooms of the Mohican Hotel in New Lon­ don, Connecticut, across the river from the shipyards. In one, our Sponsors of the christening were introduced to distinguished guests, officers of the Navy and officials of the Boat Companies, before joining members of the family in the other. On arrival in the Hotel after the launching, we were greeted by signs which read "FRANCIS SCOTT KEY descendants proceed to the Florentine Room", an arrow, and a corps of ushers. At the door of the banquet room, we were greeted by a secretary who gave us name tags and a staff of waitresses serving champagne. A bar was set up at one end of the room with an elaborate buffet adjacent. The remainder of the room was set with small tables. No count or roster of names was kept. An estimate of more than sixty in attendance was based on counting thirty-two acceptances of invitations as two apiece. There were, however, also parties of 3, 4, and 5, including children, so that the attendance may well have been more than seventy. With delicious food, waitresses insistant on keeping champagne glasses filled, and circulation between the tables, one might have thought we were attend­ ing a wedding reception. THE GATHERING OF THE CLAN It was hard to break up the party and establish a semblance of order at one end of the room. The business meeting was a short one. Our Christening Sponsor Marjory Key Thorne, Line XI, was presented with a framed photograph of her Aunt Mary McBlair, Line XI, deceased. Our Christening Sponsor and Recording Secretary Edith Claude Jarvis, Line II, made the following report. - 2 - �REPORT OF THE SECRETARY On October 18, 1963, a meeting of four of the Acting Regents of the SOCIETY OF THE DESCENDANTS OF FRANCIS SCOTT KEY was held at the home of Mrs. Wm. Jarvis in Chevy Chase, Maryland. Those present were Col. Arthur Brice, Chairman, Col. Wilfrid Blunt, Treasurer, General Richard W. Cutts, and Mrs. Edith Claude Jarvis, Recording Secretary. A discussion concerning the drafting of a Resolution to be presented to Governor Tawes of Maryland took place. The Resolution concerned the presentation of a documentary film on the Bombardment of Ft. McHenry and the writing of the National Anthem for use at the New York World's Fair. The Resolution was adopted and later signed by about 22 of the Maryland descendants of Francis Scott Key. It was presented to the Governor by Mrs. Jarvis with the result that a docu­ mentary film was shown at the New York World's Fair in 1964. On Mardill, 1965, your Secretary attended a Bill-signing Ceremony at the State House in Annapolis. It was a House Joint Resolution #14 endorsing the name of Francis Scott Key for consideration to the Hall of Fame of Great Americans. Nearly every State in the Nation took similar action, as a result of D. A.R. efforts. How­ ever, Key's name was not among the 4 who were selected for the Hall of Fame. In the Summer of 1965, all of the Key family records, which had been carefully collected, indexed, and filed by Col. Arthur Brice, Chairman of the Acting Board of Regents, were shipped to the East from California. They are now in the tempor­ ary custody of the Recording Secretary, Mrs. William T. Jarvis, Chevy Chase, Md. , until such time as a permanent place may be found for them. Respectfully submitted, (signed) April 23, 1966 EDITH CLAUDE JARVIS Recording Secretary The Recording Secretary's report was acceted by unanimous vote of the meeting. Treasurer, Col. Wilfrid M. Blunt, Line IX, reported on receipts and ex­ penditures by year from organization of the Society to December 31, 1965. Dur­ ing that period, a total of $540.00 was received from contributions and $439. 37 expended for office expense, secretarial help, stationery, printing, postage, etc., leaving a balance of $100. 63 on deposit with Suburban Trust Company of Maryland. His report was accepted by unanimous vote of the meeting. Your Acting Chairman made an appeal for contributions to meet similar ex­ pense in connection with St. John's College Genealogical Records Project. To date $325. 00 has been received by the Treasurer in response to this appeal. On nomination and seconding from the floor, Mrs. C. T. (Cousin Clarissa) Lyon, Line XI, having accepted, was appointed Acting Regent in place of Edward Lloyd, Line I, deceased. - 3 - �The Chairman suggested that the next meeting might be held in connection with the dedication of the new buildings of the Maryland Historical Society where the original manuscript of the Anthem is kept. No date for the dedication had as yet been set. He urged all members in the interim to think over the problems of giving permanence and continuity to the Society by adoption of a fo’^mal consti­ tution and to decide whether appointment of Regents should be for s: ecified terms of office or for life. On motion by General Dick Cutts, USMC, Ret'd. , Line V, the Chairman was given a rising vote of confidence and the meeting adjourned. EPILOGUE "Everything that looks to the future elevates human nature. " Through the years since 1959, by correspondence and in conference, the Acting Regents have discussed many different plans and projects for the Society of Descendants. Primarily, the question has been how we can give it permanence and perpetuity after a small dedicated group of founders who assembled at St.John's College in Annapolis, Maryland, in 1959 pass on. A set of accurate genealogical records is of the greatest importance. A complete genealogical file on the family as a whole should carry the Society on through the ages for as long as the Star Spangled Banner remains the National Anthem. St. John's College reports that less than half of the living descendants of known addresses have submitted genealogic records, and experience has shown that the cards originally sent out were not entirely satisfactory. An improved genealogic record card is being prepared for distribution. It is hoped that they will be executed and submitted without delay. Our Line III was believed to be extinct for several generations, but we now have nine names and six addresses of living members in it -- descendants of Francis Scott Key, Jr. (1806 - 1866) and Elizabeth Lloyd Harwood (1807 - 1902). We have no names or addresses of any living descendants in Line IV descendants of John Ross Key, II (1809 - 1837) and Virginia Ringgold (? - 1901). Information on any living descendants in this line will be appreciated. No replies were received to many invitations to the christening and launch­ ing of the USS FRANCIS SCOTT KEY, resulting , no doubt, from faulty mailing lists, unknown addresses, address changes -- or possibly even name changes not reported. Our Secretary is now keeping the record of all correspondence and current archives of the Society at her home in Chevy Chase, Maryland, until such time as a permanent place may be found for them. It is urgently requested that all members notify her of any changes of name or address. The Maryland Historical Society will sponsor a meeting of our Society on the occasion of the dedication of its new building in Baltimore, expected to take place in the Spring of 1967. At that time, the Acting Regents would like to present to the Maryland Society a set of colors to be a memorial to the founding of the Key Family Society of Descendants, Estimates have been obtained of cost of a suitable - 4 - �set of nylon flags with fringes, staffs with brass eagle on one and cross on the other, stands, etc., for $113.00. The Treasurer will acknowledge any contri­ butions to this approved project that nnay be received by any member of the Ac. ing Board of Regents. Checks should be made payable to the "Society of Descen dants of Francis Scott Key. " - 5 - �o ACTING BOARD OF REGENTS Chairman Arthur T. Brice, D. S. C. 656 Austin Avenue Sonoma, California 95476 Line X Treasurer Wilfrid M. Blunt, L. M. 7804 Exeter Road Bethesda, Maryland 20014 Line IX Recording Secretary Mrs. Wm. Taber Jarvis 9 East Melrose Street Chevy Chase, Maryland 20015 Line II Sponsors Liasion Officer George Washington Dobbin 2 West Lake Avenue Baltimore, Maryland 21210 Line VIII Members Mrs. Wm. Ward Clore 6040 North 7th Street Phoenix, Arizona Line I Richard W. Cutts Dondoric Farms The Plains, Virginia Line V Francis Scott Key 107 Seminole Avenue Dumont, New Jersey Line III Mrs. C. T. Lyon 41 Main Drive Candlewood Acres Brookfield, Conn. 06804 Line XI Mrs. Frank H. Masi Metompkin Millwood, Virginia Line ! Mrs. Morgan B. Schiller Wye House Easton, Maryland Line 1 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Society of the Descendants of Francis Scott Key Records Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context SDFSK Description An account of the resource The Society of the Descendants of Francis Scott Key Records contain correspondence, publications, and administrative and financial records relating to the Society, Francis Scott Key, and St. John's College. Many of the records involve compiling a genealogical record and address list of members of the Society, but the records also document Francis Scott Key's history and his influence on American society and St. John's College.<br /><br />For more information about the records, please see the <a href="https://sjc.libraryhost.com/repositories/2/resources/9">finding aid</a>. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 8 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Freemen Stand, Volume 1 Number 2 (July 1966) Description An account of the resource Freemen Stand, Volume 1 Number 2 (July 1966). Second issue of the newsletter for the Society of the Descendants of Francis Scott Key. Published in Sonoma, California. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Brice, Arthur Tilghman, 1892- The Society of the Descendants of Francis Scott Key Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available The Society of the Descendants of Francis Scott Key Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1966-07 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource <strong>No Copyright - United States</strong> <a href="https://rightsstatements.org/page/NoC-US/1.0/?language=en">https://rightsstatements.org/page/NoC-US/1.0/?language=en</a><br />The organization that has made the Item available believes that the Item is in the Public Domain under the laws of the United States, but a determination was not made as to its copyright status under the copyright laws of other countries. The Item may not be in the Public Domain under the laws of other countries. Please refer to St. John's College for more information. <br /><br />Please make sure to credit St. John's College using the citation provided in this record. Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource PDF Subject The topic of the resource Key family Key, Francis Scott, 1779-1843 St. John's College (Annapolis, Md.) Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context SDFSK Records Box 4 Folder 4 Francis Scott Key https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/6230a0358f64187551ffb84302937446.pdf 09fdf908ebf94ce3d62e5559892276c5 PDF Text Text the Gadfly St. John’s College Annapolis, Maryland BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL September 25, 2023 Vol. XLV, Issue 1 �Letter from the Editor Dear Polity, Welcome and welcome back! As we all embark on this new academic year together, it’s the sincere hope of mine that the Gadfly is able to serve as a worthy and exciting representation of the life, thought, and spirit of our College. In the pursuit of this ideal, we’ve made some changes to the organization and publication of our content, which is always intended, as our Staff Handbook says, to “encourage discourse between all facets of our community.” Most notable among these changes is the introduction of the Collegian, the Gadfly’s new weekly newsletter which you’ve probably already seen around campus a couple of times by now. Spearheaded by our wonderful managing editor El’ad Nichols-Kaufman, the Collegian will help to more frequently and dynamically engage with our Polity in between the much more substantial issues of the Gadfly proper, which we’re now intending to publish on a regular triweekly schedule. We’ve also adjusted the organization of content within each Gadfly issue itself: the Logos section will be more heavily emphasized overall, and the Symposium section will now be focused on writing of a definitely academic style, leaving more personal and purely introspective essays to the Polis section. We hope that you enjoy our first issue of the year, and all issues to come! Luke Briner, Co-editor-in-chief Contents λόγος New Year, New Dean Registrar Resignation Housing Troubles συμπόσιον Selections from "Notes on Dialogue" Thoughts at the Beginning A Critique of Dialogue 3 4 6 7 10 14 Cover anonymous (Digital archiveS) EDITOR-IN-CHIEF luke briner MANAGING EDITOR el'ad nicHols kaufmann StAFF Meliha Anthony, Anna Dayton, Natalie Goldman, Will Marchman, Vivian Miyakawa, Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm, Tamar Pinsky, Louis Rosenberg, Bennett Scott, Felix Tower layout Bridget mace πόλις Getting Personal 22 From the President: The Value of Civic Engagement 24 Advice on Summer 25 Dog-Day Cicada 26 The Betrothed 27 SJC Mystery #1: The Stone 28 Review of the Freewrite Drafting Tool 30 Freshman Bodies and Freshman Souls 33 Finds from the Archives 34 2 �λόγος the Gadfly September 25, 2023 New Year, New Dean well: a staff member, a board member, a student, a tutor. She and the president need to work very well together. Eva Brann has a famous quote that maybe she never said, By LUKE BRINER "The president attends to the existence of the college, the dean to the essence." What is our essence? How do the This July 1st, Susan Paalman succeeded Joseph many individuals who make up the college come together Macfarland as dean of our undergraduate Program in to become one college? I think a lot about Socrates and Annapolis. Her first year as dean will mark her 26th his question in the Republic about how two ones come overall at the College. Found below are several questions together to make one two. It's mysterious and beautiful. posed to her regarding her new position and her responses. What was the process of becoming our new dean like? It was like being initiated into the Mysteries... Ok, maybe not that dramatic. I shadowed Mr. Macfarland last semester, having been released from one teaching station (sorry, freshman lab! You know I love you). Ms. Demleitner and I met regularly also, and I attended the board meetings along with Mr. Macfarland. I attended lots of other meetings and got to know a bit more about what makes things tick at St. John's. Everyone was so very helpful to me. I'm especially grateful to Ms. Demleitner and Mr. Macfarland, who were both very generous with their time and advice. What about your new position as dean excites you most? St. John's has formed my adult life; I came here when I was 28 years old. I am more grateful than I can say that I am now in a position to be a leader at this place that has meant so much to me. So, just the fact that I am here in this role is very exciting to me. What does it mean to be a good dean, and especially the dean of a college like St. John's? Are there any colleges "like St. John's"? (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) A good dean needs to have some sense of what the good is, in general and for this community. She is a listener and a learner, especially at St. John's. A good dean takes what she has heard and learned and makes the decisions that need to be made, with the good of the community in mind. This takes a combination of pulling back, to take in what is happening in the community, and acting decisively, so things that need to be clear are clear. "The community" includes so many people in so many different worlds that a good dean needs to be able to hear everyone What do you think the most pressing issues at St. John's that fall under your jurisdiction as dean are, and how do you intend to address them? I've begun a conversation about a possible honor code. This is part of a larger conversation that Mr. Abbott has also been engaging in: how do we hold on to our humanity in the face of the technology that could threaten it. We have available to us aids and tools that, ironically, could cripple us if not considered wisely. St. John's is as vulnerable as anyone to this danger. We are also particularly well suited to examine this problem and take it on with thoughtfulness, care, and thumos [spiritedness]. Do you have any beginning-of-the-year message that you'd like to convey to the student body as a whole, and/or to freshmen in particular? Dive into the program with spirit and help each other with kindness and grace! Photo: Meliha Anthony 3 �the Gadfly λόγος Registrar Resignation Leaves Students Spooked By TAMAR PINSKY Students received their much-awaited class schedules on the evening of Tuesday, August 22nd. Some of these schedules, however, were still subject to change. Some of the schedules contained groupings of students oddly familiar to those of previous years. . Other students reported experiences less extreme, yet still notable: a switched class, or a seminar resembling last year’s. Why did schedules come out so late? Why have there been so many last-minute fine tunings? Why have students been re-clustered into already used clusters? The absence of a registrar seems the popular scapegoat. Many individual experiences are attributed to the lack of a registrar—whether correctly so or not. They add to the idea that the school has suffered due to the previous registrar’s resignation, which is also not necessarily correct. The previous registrar and the previous assistant registrar resigned in the beginning of the summer due to personal reasons. Because of the quantity and type of work that had to be done, however, they worked after hours as a contract employee. They were, however, not the only one who took on the laundry list of responsibilities: transcript requests, organizing convocation and graduation, arranging and adjusting tutor and student schedules, and arranging don rag and senior oral schedules. The registrar’s work was completed with the help of Ms. Latham, Ms. Stevens, Mr. Beall, Mr. Abbott, Ms. Lico, Ms. Waters, and Ms. Francis. The work also could not have been done without the Santa Fe registrar and assistant registrar, Julie Romero and John Martinez. There is certain software and training vital to doing the registrar’s work, and thus their specialty was much appreciated. Normally, the registrar and assistant registrar would complete this work such that class schedules are done in early August. This year, because the work was thrust onto a multitude of faculty members, the first drafts were a couple of weeks late. However, they did not come out extremely late, for the school in fact prefers to send them out only a couple of days before classes start. Creating class schedules is hard work—one must make sure that no one is in a core group with anyone in their previous core groups, that there is a reasonable gender balance, that each class contains only students from other Jacki Thomas, previous registrar. Photo: Tamar Pinsky 4 September 25, 2023 �λόγος the Gadfly core groups who were in none of their other classes, and that no student has a class with a tutor they previously had. Adjusting schedules is difficult too—sometimes classes must be moved due to conflicting schedules, and sometimes students request a class transfer—however, class transfers are not allowed in the first three weeks of classes. Because of the difficulty of this work, there were cases in which not all these requirements were met regarding scheduling. For Sophomore Sophia Derico, several of these standards were not met. Her core group this year is identical to the one she had her first year, with the addition of two more students. However, she no longer shares music with these five students—she got switched into a different class, taught by her freshman Greek tutor. Meanwhile, her math class got moved back a day, because it had been scheduled to take place during the weekly Sicut Sing. And to top it all off, both her Greek and math classes this year are shared with another core group, so the same eleven students dominate both. But not every case, such as simply having familiar faces in one’s class, can be ascribed to the absence of the registrar. It is inevitable that there will be some repeated combinations of students year to year, given St. John’s size. In other words, the schedules were affected by the absence of a registrar, but perhaps not as much as they might have seemed to be so. September 25, 2023 The registrar’s work also comes with certain legal requirements due to its confidential nature. Because the registrar is entrusted with dealing with students’ personal information, not just anyone could take their place. Furthermore, it is ideal for the registrar to know the tutors and students to perform their role optimally—it is best if the registrar stays at the school for a long time. Particularly at a school like St. John’s, where the students do not register themselves for classes as they do at most colleges, the importance of the registrar is more apparent. Many universities rely almost entirely on machines for their registrar work, but perhaps that would not be fitting for St. John’s. As Assistant Dean Mr. Abbott said, to think that the situation St. John’s is facing might suggest the need for machines is the kind of thinking that makes “the world come to an end.” Instead of placing hope on machines, both the Dean and Assistant Dean have expressed hope that they will find a new registrar soon. It is hard to predict exactly when that will be, but they are optimistically searching. Perhaps the registrar is of the sort that one does not realize how important they are until they are gone. They are the “nuts and bolts,” as our Dean, Ms. Paalman called them, that Johnnies may neglect in the face of the contemplative, speculative questions they tend to focus on. Cartoon: "Noodles," Tamar Pinsky 5 �λόγος the Gadfly Housing Troubles By VIVIAN MIYAKAWA The sticky summer heat slowly gives way into fall, marking the beginning of a new school year. Groups of wide-eyed freshmen enter their residence halls for the first time, squaring their shoulders and preparing to live life with a roommate...or two?? Generally, freshmen at St. John’s College live in doubles, with the occasional room built for a triple. However, this year brings a unique housing situation for most incoming freshmen. Campbell Hall, a dorm traditionally housing freshmen, has been under construction since the beginning of the summer, leaving less space for many incoming Johnnies. Situated in the midst of historic downtown Annapolis, St. John’s isn’t exactly known for its ample dorm space, so this ongoing building renovation forced freshmen into whatever housing happened to be available. Unlike most years, every residence building on campus houses freshmen, and doubles have been converted to triples as dorms overflow with students. This unique situation adds even more change to the generally tumultuous beginnings of a school year. Curious to gauge the Polity’s reactions to these developments, I interviewed a variety of students, asking them their opinions on the housing situation and recording their thoughts. Humphrey’s Hall is a freshman dorm generally known for its spacious rooms; a healthy mix of doubles and triples. This is perhaps the very trait that made it the prime candidate for stuffing even more freshmen into one 6 Side View of Campbell Hall with Circular Window and Bushes September 25, 2023 residence hall. When interviewing students from different floors of this residence hall, most mentioned that they “expected smaller” and that they were “preparing for the worst” when they heard about this year’s changes. Keeping your standards low is a surefire way to satisfaction, but unfortunately, not even the lowest of standards could make the Humphreys bathrooms seem appealing. With about one third more students than anticipated, the bathroom has truly become a “communal” space. The three showers and two bathrooms stalls are often crowded and dirty, and large globs of hair tend to block the drains. Work orders are plentiful as amenities such as soap, toilet paper, and paper towels are prone to running out within a few days. Luckily, as mentioned by more than one resident, including Ms. Greer, the Humphreys 2 RA, the mold on the shower curtains isn’t the only thing “growing on them.” A sort of begrudging fondness for this lively community has sprung from the less-than-ideal conditions. As put by Ms. Greer, “intentional community building and regular gatherings are crucial to fostering a sense of friendship and community,” and the tighter spaces brought on by the housing changes certainly help facilitate that process. However, things look a bit different for the few freshmen living in typically upperclassmen dorms. Freshmen from Pinkney Hall experience a much smaller community, mentioning feeling as if they “don’t know many of the people in their hall, and aside from the other freshmen on their floor and their RA, they “have no clue who is living with them in the biggest dorm on campus.” In a similar vein, Ms. Bain, the RA for the freshmen living in Chase-Stone, also noticed a sort of separation between the freshmen and upperclassmen, specifically in regards to the Chasement. In the past, it wasn’t generally used as a place for study, but freshmen living there have “taken advantage of the blackboards and comfy couches, turning it into a standard common room.” Ms. Bain mentions that even with the small amount of pushback from some upperclassmen, she believes that “having integrated dorm buildings is generally positive, it allows for the blending of all of the classes which is nice and good for our college community.” In the end, it is likely that housing will return to normal with the completion of the Campbell Hall remodel, and that nothing will fundamentally change, but hopefully this temporary diversion from normalcy has left a positive impact on the people it has affected. �συμπόσιον the Gadfly September 25, 2023 Notes on Dialogue (Selections) Stringfellow Barr EDITOR'S NOTE: “Notes on Dialogue,” an essay written by one of our Program’s founders, Stringfellow Barr, has become both a foundational text for gaining insight into the nature and intent of the College’s educational model, and the subject of a contemporary controversy among students and faculty over exactly how present it should be in our academic lives at large. Central to this controversy is the fact that, while Summer Academy students and freshmen introduced to the College through the recently established Pritzker Program do read it, other incoming students do not. Why just them, and not the others? Should all incoming students be required to read it, or no one at all? In order to stimulate this debate, as well as to complement the two other similarly-themed essays featured in this issue’s Symposium section, some of the most important sections of the essay are produced below. -LB _________________________________________ Perhaps the first obstacle to writing even these random notes on dialogue is that the very word, dialogue, has been temporarily turned into a cliché. Everybody is loudly demanding dialogue, and there is not much evidence that most of us are prepared to carry one on. Indeed, to borrow a traditional phrase from professional diplomats, conversations have deteriorated. But both radio and television, whether public or commercial, remind us daily that a lonely crowd hungers for dialogue, not only for the dialogue of theatre but also for the dialogue of the discussion program. *** [B]abble is a ghost we cannot lay, the ghost of dialogue. We yearn, not always consciously, to commune with other persons, to learn with them by joint search. This joint labor to understand would be even more exciting than the multiplication of our gross national product or the improvement of our national defense or even than the elimination of war from the face of the earth. For we can never live wholly human lives without a genuine converse between men. *** It seems possible that the most relevant sort of dialogue, though perhaps the most difficult[…]to achieve is the Socratic. For this difficult form of dialogue, there are luckily a number of models in Plato's Dialogues. To model [our] dialogues on those that Socrates incited and took part in is a dangerous counsel of something precious close to perfection. But I would merely urge that Socrates' behavior "in dialogue" is a good star to hitch one's wagon to. At the minimum, it is a good guide to the reefs on which most really good dialogues are wrecked. All these reefs welcome hungrily those who substitute the kind of discussion Socrates called "eristic" as a substitute for the kind he called "dialectic." In Book I of Plato's Republic Thrasymachus uses eristic; Socrates, dialectic. Thrasymachus' purpose is to win points and to win applause. The purpose of Socrates is to try, through dialectical discussion with Thrasymachus and others, to understand better the essential nature of justice. Each of the two men makes a choice of weapons appropriate to his purpose. The rising voice, the personal accusation, the withering scorn, the crushing sarcasm, the panic at the possibility of being out-maneuvered, the sweating, the unaccustomed blush of a normally unblushing champion sophist, the volubility that tries to shore up a crumbling argument and to ward off the disgrace of refutation, the love of one's own opinions precisely because they are one's own, the vanity that replaces love of truth with love for victory are all exemplified by Thrasymachus. What Socrates displays towards Thrasymachus is courtesy. He treats him not as an enemy, but as a valued colleague in the mutual search for understanding. Socrates is, as it were, the personification for purposes of discourse of the love for one's neighbor that Judaism and Christianity prescribe. And the same love sometimes infuses his courteous questions with irony, because such irony helpfully invited Thrasymachus to rid himself of the false opinions he harbored. So he is never fearful that he will 7 �συμπόσιον the Gadfly September 25, 2023 "lose," precisely because he is not trying to "win," and does introduced with an (ironic) apology. Since [students are] not meet these flat opinions with other flat opinion, but trying to see more deeply into current problems but are with the ironical question. free of the burden of imminent, practical, political action, Just as we are taught to hate not the sinner but the they might profitably stay "drunk" longer than the King of sin, especially if it is our own, so Socrates never attacks Kings and his royal counsellors could risk staying. Thrasymachus. Indeed, he never attacks his ignorance The Socratic dialectic has another code of manners than and presumptuousness. He merely dissolves the opinions the dinner party, where religion and politics are sometimes Thrasymachus spouts so loudly, so rapidly, and so volubly. forbidden for fear that rising passions may damage "social" That Thrasymachus recognizes the mortal danger in intercourse, and where interrupting a speaker and even a Socrates' questions and, indeed, that painful scalpel, long-winded empty speech, is forbidden. In dialectic, a irony, that Socrates uses on on his opinions quick question is analogous to "point (and consequently, given Thrasymachus' of order" in political assemblies. "Do I pride of authorship where his expressed understand you to be saying . . . ?" always opinions are concerned, on himself, his has the floor. honor, and his fame as a sophist) comes Even these thumb-rules may seem out in Thrasymachus' sarcastic allusion guaranteed to produce bedlam. And, to "your famous irony." That Socrates indeed, when they are first tried, knew that his irony "put to the question," they generally do produce it. But a euphemism the Spanish Inquisition inexperienced dancers on a ballroom would later in history use for the act of floor and inexperienced skaters on an torturing the accused, is shown by his ice rink also collide. Experience brings a likening himself to a gadfly that stung sixth sense in Socratic dialectic too. The the noble steed, the Athenian democracy. will of self-insistence gives way to the That the steed knew too is shown in Plato's will to learn. Apology, where Socrates was sentenced to In dialectic, "participational death for putting Athens to the question. democracy" consists in everybody's The many dialectical conversations listening intently; it does not consist in in Plato's Dialogues suggest several rules what commercial television calls equal of thumb that might be profitably used time. When a good basketball team has by [students], or at least more frequently the ball, its members do not snatch the followed. One hesitates to suggest rules ball from each other but support the of thumb for a kind of discussion that is man who has it, and the man who has it essentially spontaneous. But it is hard to passes it to a teammate whenever a pass see how these particular rules could stifle Portraits of Stringfellow Barr is called for by the common purpose of spontaneity: the team. But in dialectic, as opposed to basketball, the The exchange of declarative monologues tends to be "opposing team" is composed only of the difficulties all dialectically unproductive. The effort to be too complete men face when they try to understand. The point is that, is often self-defeating. An adumbration often contributes in dialectic, it does not matter whose mouth gets used by more to dialectic than a rotund speech. Brevity stimulates the dialectical process, provided all are listening intently dialectic. and exercise the freedom to interrupt with a question if I take it that Herodotus' "anecdote" that the Persians they do not understand. On the other hand, reading or deliberated while drunk and decided while sober implies writing while "in dialogue" is a grave offense against the that in the early stages of a dialectic exchange a "wild idea" common purpose of all, not because they diminish the is often more fruitful that a prematurely prudent opinion. number of speaking mouths but because they diminish The imaginative and the unexpected are frequent the number of listening ears. (Doodling and smoking are ingredients of Socrates' style, though they are often permissible aides to listening!) 8 �συμπόσιον the Gadfly Whatever the touted merits of pluralism in democratic society today (and pluralism is, minimally, better than shooting each other with mail-order submachine guns or even than legislating on religious beliefs), the agreement to disagree is a disgraceful defeat if it means surrendering the hope of agreement through further dialectic. Even Socrates, on rare occasions, countenanced postponement of the struggle to a more propitious occasion. Perhaps the first rule of Socratic dialectic was laid down by Socrates: that we should follow the argument wherever it leads. Presumably, this means that some sorts of relevance that a court pleading should exhibit (and, even more the forensic eloquence that pleading encourages) are irrelevant to dialectic. The deliberate manner, and even more the ponderous manner, are mere impediments. The name of the game is not instructing one's fellows, or even persuading them, but thinking with them and trusting the argument to lead to understanding, sometimes to very unexpected understandings. The chairman [of the Fellows of the Center for the Study of Democratic Institutions in Santa Barbara] recently abandoned the practice of recognizing speakers in the order in which their raised hands requested the floor. The abandonment of this device, so necessary in parliamentary procedure and even in small committees if they have not learned to discuss dialectically, was an immense step towards Socratic dialogue. The chairman, [like St. John's tutors] now has the more delicate task of intervening, preferably by question, only when he believes that there is a misunderstanding or an unprofitable (not a profitable) confusion, a confusion that in his judgment bids fair not to right itself. [Students], however, will need to be close listeners, in the event that we take Socrates' advice; we shall, indeed, have to be closer listeners than we now are. We are likely, if we meet that obligation, to attain to a level of friendship that not many men attain to. Aristotle, we may recall, held that friendship could be achieved on three levels. The lowest level is that of what we Americans call "contacts," a level on which two men are useful to each other and exchange favors and services. On a higher level, two men can find pleasure in each other's company: they amuse each other. On the highest level, each man is seeking the true good of the other. September 25, 2023 On that level [students] would be, even more satisfyingly than now, seeking in common to understand. We share the friendship, or philia, that Aristotle thought must exist between the citizens of any republic if it was to be worthy of men. It would certainly exist, and without sentimentality, in any genuine republic of learning. And it would heighten the courtesy that any good and rigorous dialectic demands. There is only one, final rule of thumb that I would offer: When free minds seek together for greater understanding, they tend to move, as the mind of Socrates so characteristically moved - with playfulness and a sense of the comic. This, perhaps, is because men are most like the gods when they think; because, nevertheless, they are emphatically not gods; and because, for godlike animals, this fact is so thoroughly funny. The truly relevant jest is never out of order, so long as we can pursue our dialogue with high seriousness and with relevant playfulness. Were we to apply the ten rules of thumb sketched above, we would certainly produce many of those brief interludes of bedlam when dialectical collisions occur, even though these moments of vocal static would decrease in length and in number as we gained practice with free dialectic. Such static is not dialogue's worst problem. Plato and Shakespeare both speak of the mind's eye, that eye that alone sees intellectual light. I suggest there is a mind's ear too, a listening, mindful ear. I suggest that the chief reason that conversations deteriorate is that the mind's ear fails. Stringfellow Barr and Students in Conversation Seated at a Table in the Coffee Shop 9 �συμπόσιον the Gadfly September 25, 2023 Thoughts at the Beginning Robert Abbott I have been working on this essay off and on for six months. My intention was to address the confusion and antipathy that occasionally arises when someone runs up against our college’s unusual way of doing things. Over the years I've heard many questions on the verge of fermenting into outright indictments, and I wondered if I could take them as opportunities to clarify what we do and why. Why is our Program so demanding? Why should the tutors have a say outside the classroom as well as in it? Why should the students be granted more freedom here than at most other schools? These are real questions and the teacher in me wanted to see them lead to a deeper understanding in myself and others of our communal life here. But something about the form the essay took did not seem right to me, so I put it aside. I found a second beginning when a recently graduated senior pointed out a passage to me in Eva Brann’s book of aphorisms. Here is Ms. Brann’s advice: “Citizen’s Imperative: Always act as if you were then and there founding a community, be it of two or two hundred–in conducting conversations, in enacting routines, in mounting critiques.” She goes on to say that this is how Plato’s Republic gets off the ground. Bearing that in mind, I would like to go back to the beginning with you and ask a question about our own college. What is required to nourish a community dedicated to the reading of great books? I can think of at least four conditions and will spend most, but not all, of this essay describing these to you. (There is a Gadflyish conclusion you should not miss.) These four conditions are in addition to those required for any residential college e.g. a campus, sufficient funding, etc. I am wondering what is needed specifically for our project, which might justify our unique way of doing things. First Condition: an environment that grants dignity to the endeavor of reading the great books, inside and outside the classroom. Exploring the mysterious depths of the great books elicits strong and varied actions and reactions from readers. Shock, disgust, boisterousness, hilarity, fear, anger–these typical responses, and their 10 consequences, could all easily be censured in ordinary life. But as a teacher knows, they are all part of the circuitous path the soul takes on its way to understanding, and should be dignified with tolerance and attention. There are many ways to fail to grant this dignity. One could read The Brothers Karamazov in a laboratory, and after every chapter be hooked up to an electrocardiogram, given a thermometer, required to fill out a survey, and asked what reactions you had after hearing certain words or phrases. If you lived in such a lab, your thinking, speaking, and feeling would only be recognized as a generic quantity. Being reduced to a number is never dignifying. If you read The Brothers Karamazov in an amusement park, on the other hand, which is the opposite of a laboratory, you might be encouraged simply to enjoy yourself. St. John’s the Amusement Park would provide plenty of distractions from–or easily digested explanations of–the great books, plenty of carefully managed encounters, plenty of fun, but you would never be deeply moved or driven to think. Our college is opposed to both of these extremes and all their disguised variations. In both of them a student is an accidental addition to the apparatus of measurement or production of entertainment, rather than an essential agent in their own education. Many of our fellow readers over the centuries have read the great books under duress, alone, in less than ideal circumstances–often in prisons resembling a laboratory or a funhouse. Some of the writers of the great books lived this way. Their communities did not directly support the reading of great books and yet the books did their work, often acting as a refuge to their readers and writers alike. It is useful to remember that fact in dark times. But in this essay I am interested in defining a community in harmony with the requirements of the great books, one which makes it possible for people with little or no experience of them to give them the sustained attention they repay. Second Condition: a community that encourages its members to take time to separate themselves from the present moment. If the college did not actively encourage students to step away from the present, however urgent and fascinating, it would be at odds with its central activity–returning to books written in the past, even the recent past, and taking them seriously on their own terms. �συμπόσιον the Gadfly Herodotus is, among other things, very interested in understanding the world-historical situation he finds himself in, the ascendancy of the Greeks over the Persians–but he does this by first going back in time, far away in place, and deep into the minutiae of seemingly unrelated cultures, such as the Egyptians’ belief in a cat’s compulsion to run into a burning house, or the Ethiopian practice of burying their dead in sarcophagi of translucent crystal and setting them up around the city. Somehow the things of others help us to see our own. Herodotus’ broad and ennobling curiosity should be a model for us at the college–we who read about the immoveable earth and invisible electric fluids. I say this is a necessary condition not only because the members of our community should maintain an idiosyncratic and useful esprit de corps but because there will come a time when you realize what a strange thing you’ve done by coming here and you will not be reassured if someone tells you that our college is really not so different from everywhere else. It is not like anywhere else, and your first sallies beyond our walls will make that very clear to you. Sometimes this happens, as it did for me, while you are a student, which is why so many of us have occasionally wondered if we’ve come to the right place. You might pose that question because you have maturely recognized the magnitude and strangeness of your choice. As I say, it will not help you then to think that you haven't done anything strange by coming here. You have. And you can come to understand and own that wonderful and courageous choice, both while you are a student, and afterward, when you truly begin to need your education and the books that gave it to you. Third Condition: a community that refuses to promise what it cannot deliver and what the books themselves say is difficult to achieve. I mean wisdom. If we were at a college for nursing or mathematics or boat-building, we would be more than justified– perhaps ethically required–to promise to deliver certain skills, and give some assurance that we were qualified to do so. By contrast, what we are doing at our college is more obscure and difficult. Neither our tutors nor our books promise to make students wise. Yet we all seek, vigorously and hopefully, to understand what lies beneath the superficial appearances of nature and culture. It takes a great deal of experience, dedication, and knowledge to sustain such an endeavor. That is the September 25, 2023 work of our tutors, not simply to pass along the skills we may have, not to turn students into numbers, and not to entertain you. Instead, we are like guides to an island that shifts its location depending on who is going to visit it. We have the conviction and the ability to crew the ship, but we must rely on much more than rote formulas, manuals, or maps to do it. The college itself must be the sort of place that is suspicious of educational models that emphasize training or entertaining because our aim is different. We want to keep alive an activity that dies when training and entertaining become widespread. This activity of ours has all sorts of wonderful side-effects, including, perhaps, mastery of a skill, or deeper understanding of an idea, or greater depth in a feeling, but it is in itself a wilder, less determinate impulse. Fourth Condition: a community of free independent thinkers who believe that reading the great books is the primary reason they are here, and that everything that might go along with that project, such as obtaining a degree, is of secondary importance. I know it may seem obvious, but this needs to be said. We could have begun this imaginary exercise by making a degree-granting college a first principle of our experimental founding, in which case a great books program is just one possible core curriculum among many–software installed on an indifferent mainframe. But if the germ you cultivate is the reading of great books, you would see a very different organism develop, one that is only partly contained by the four-year frame of a small liberal arts college. You would see a life of reading, thinking, and speaking that begins in, but ultimately exceeds, that frame. Please note, I did not say that this community of independent thinkers should imagine that there is nothing more important than the great books. Reading the great books is a preparation for the things in life that are even more important than the books. If we are to tackle those greater things later, then we should read these books now. At one of my weekly Tuesday lunches last year, I asked how the college was like, and unlike, a city. We do not exist simply in order to keep existing, as most cities do. We have a central purpose that defines us. We are here to read and discuss great books. When that purpose vanishes, the college buildings may stand, but our college will not. It seems to me that our college can, with effort, live up to these ideals, and remain the sort of community the students, tutors, and alumni have always known, not by following the 11 �συμπόσιον the Gadfly beat of the cacophonous drums of higher education, but by paying attention to our own melody and letting each part of this place find its harmony within it. There is an important question I’ve left looming. I know it’s easy to scoff at it, but I will ask: what is a great book? After all, does it really matter if you can say what one is in the abstract when there are so many piled up for us to read? I’d encourage you to spend some time thinking about it–even if not too much time. Look at the stack of books, posters, blogs, texts, captions, and zines you’ve already read. Do you have the conviction that there is such a thing as a book that stands shoulder height above the others, some great book worth spending far more time on than your average artifact of human thought? Part of what allows us to set aside the usual trappings of higher education–historical context, received opinions, course goals, pedagogical models, etc.– is the simple trust that entering into conversation with a great book will take care of what all those things are trying to do, and much more besides. If you have never studied at another college or university, it is possible you do not realize how rare and unimpeded the education at St. John’s is. At most colleges, you would be enmeshed in a carefully constructed web of defined expectations before being allowed even to smell, let alone touch, a great book. When you find yourself complaining about how little recognition your opinions receive here, or how unpredictable class is, or when you find yourself wondering why students at other institutions are seemingly so content with their clearly defined benchmarks of success, remind yourself that we are aiming at the individual’s freedom to learn, and freedom almost always generates a healthy level of disagreement and democratic turbulence. I’d like to change tack. I’ve been describing the enduring principles of our community and now I’d like to turn to their opposite: contemporary threats. (This is the Gadfly’s bite.) The first threat is the abandoned classroom. Absences at the college last year were shockingly high. This is partly because the rules during COVID were relaxed and many students found themselves taking more days off than permitted. To put a medicinal spin on it, we need a dose of strong medicine. The work we do here is cumulative, not because you are accumulating information but because you are learning with others through conversation. Whenever you fall out of that conversation, returning to it is more difficult. We don’t attend class because we have done good work or because we are well prepared. Instead, it’s 12 September 25, 2023 just the opposite: we attend classes together in order to do good work. Most of the work around here happens in the classroom and the conversations that spill out of it. It will get easier to go to class if you are in the habit of going to class. The dean and I have agreed that the enforcement of the attendance policy this year will closely adhere to the written requirements in the student handbook. Please recognize that the bar has been reset to the place it should be, and falling below it will likely result in absence probation, withdrawal from your class or from the college altogether. The second contemporary threat to life at the college is the universal, often intrusive presence of digital technology and the internet. Again, if I think only of the reading of the great books in conversation, digital technology presents specific threats to that endeavor. Social media encourages our social anxieties. We want to be leisurely interlocutors; we find ourselves, instead, judging and being judged in often terse, superficial phrases. Digital communication accelerates the rate of conversation, reduces its complexity, increases its emotional freight, and too often preserves what should be ephemeral. Disreputable websites make cheap opinions available at every turn. AI churns out vapid prose without thought or effort. Ubiquitous and distracting internet access discourages coherent and sustained presence of mind. Tutors and students alike have voiced concerns about how habitually they allow themselves to be distracted from the activities they really love and most want to pursue. I’ve noticed that these habits have affected me and perhaps you have noticed something similar in yourself as well. This year, I want to provide ways to think about and step away from digital technology. There will be a few scheduled forums on Tuesday for us to discuss this matter over lunch. I’m sure many of you disagree with my dire assessment of the Internet Age and I’d like to know why. I’d also like to discuss more radical measures. Can we imagine a wi-fi free dorm for those interested in a less digital life, or an honor code to define our opposition to AI writing? As a less radical beginning, there will be one or more “Phone Hotels” on campus where you can safely leave your phone for a few hours to experience untethered life. If you would like encouragement to participate in this experiment, we will hold a No Phone Day in October during which �συμπόσιον the Gadfly you can try out the hotel. Finally, I will be organizing a few more “Writing Jails,” as they’ve come to be called, at which we can write together, silently, without the pestering blur of wi-fi. I know the name rubs some people the wrong way, but it is homegrown (and surely tongue-in-cheek), and further, true, that in order to write, some of us really need to confine ourselves to the task. More information about these will be available soon. There is a chance that my efforts at reformation will be misunderstood as merely reactionary or nostalgically anachronistic. I wish you to understand that I propose such measures as radical interventions aimed at nourishing the roots of the educational endeavor. Here is a passage from a recent book about the struggle with those technologies that undermine one of those roots: our attention. “Whereas all previous tools and media have had effects that September 25, 2023 gradually and indirectly acted on our self-understanding, digital technology acts straightforwardly on us; as attention is the single most intimate expression of who and what we are, digital technology is a spiritual technology.” That was Antón Barba-Kay, an alum of our college, in his recent book, A Web of Our Own Making: The Nature of Digital Formation, (Cambridge, 2023). What is uniquely threatening about digital technologies, he says, is that they make our attention “the subject of their measurement, control, and (self )design.” If what he says is true, and I think it is, we have a pressing responsibility to guard and cultivate that precious part of us, our attention, however we can. Robert Abbott Assistant Dean August 14, 2023 Students and Tutor Seated at Seminar Table 13 �συμπόσιον the Gadfly September 25, 2023 A Critique of Dialogue Luke Briner Last spring, Yale’s Sterling Professor of Law Robert C. Post delivered a lecture entitled “Citizenship, Undergraduate Education, and Great Books.” The lecture’s goal, as enunciated by Post, was to examine “how the essentially political project of preserving democracy might be connected to the distinguished educational project at St. John’s.”1 His eagerness to pursue this specific enquiry was attributable to his growing anxiety over the fragility of the world's current political order, and of the degeneration of political life and discourse in America in particular. “In my lifetime,” he reflects, “I don’t think I have witnessed a political atmosphere more angry, more poisonous, more baleful.”2 In setting out to examine the relationship between the general political project of preserving a genuinely democratic society and the particular pedagogical project of preserving the educational integrity of our College, Post thus hoped to arrive at a richer understanding of what makes real dialogue so valuable for our society, and thereby of how to implement and preserve such dialogue most effectively in our society. This was obviously a very admirable endeavor, and was just as obviously based on an accurate assessment of the deplorable state of contemporary political life in America. As I listened on, however, despite the clarity of Post’s reasoning and the nobility of his intentions, I couldn’t help but find myself disagreeing fundamentally with several of the conclusions that he arrived at, especially concerning the nature of dialogue and its political and pedagogical efficacy. I propose, then, to take up the same enquiry that he did, and, through my own independent line of thinking, to state as respectfully but as decisively as I can the reasons for my differing perspective on dialogue both in America and at St. John’s. To accomplish this in a clear and orderly way, I will proceed as follows: 1. “Citizenship, Undergraduate Education, and Great Books.” Delivered March 24th, 2023. 2. Ibid. 14 I. Explication of the nature of dialogue in itself. II. Exposition of the fundamental issues of dialogue so understood. III. Review and critique of the opposing perspectives of Plato and Karl Popper with respect to the nature and issues of dialogue. IV. Review and critique of Post’s own perspective, both in itself and as through the lens of the broader debate on dialogue explored in the previous section. V. Application of my view of dialogue so developed to the pedagogical philosophy of St. John’s. VI. Conclusion. I. §1. The word dialogue is derived from the Greek διάλογος, which is itself made up of διά (through) and λόγος (typically and most relevantly word or reason). Two interesting conclusions about dialogue proceed immediately from this simple etymology. First, with respect to διά, its meaning as through indicates the object of predication’s nature as existing in a passive relation to another object; i.e., that which is gone through must be gone through by something other than and extrinsic to itself. This implies that dialogue, whatever it is, exists not as an independent and active entity in itself, nor as its own end, but either as a medium through which some other entity or activity operates and finds its being, or otherwise as a means by which some other end is attained. To be through λόγος indicates an object outside of that λόγος which is the primary actor and/or end in relation to it. Second, with respect to λόγος, its dual meaning as word or reason shouldn’t be understood as a simple coincidence, but as essential to the nature of dialogue itself. Words, without the strict, universalizing discipline of reason, would be nonsense; and if that’s what we wanted to describe, then we’d be better off using words like διαλαλιά (through babble) or διαἦχος (through noise). Likewise, reason itself, without the interpersonal medium of words, would be mute, dumb, unconveyable; and the necessity of its conveyability in at least some sense is evident from the meaning of διά, which it’s joined to. Again, if we intended to describe something purely mentalistic and self-contained, we'd be better off using a word like �συμπόσιον the Gadfly διανόημα (through thought in itself ). Hence the fact that λόγος, with its multiple connotations, is the word that’s used, should lead us to the conclusion that the proper sense in which dialogue must be taken will have those respective connotations incorporated into and manifest within itself. The λόγος of dialogue is at once rational and the means by which the content of its rationality is conveyed. §2. This λόγος can be further divided into two distinct but highly intertwined categories, which I’ll designate as the syllogistic and the dialectical. By the syllogistic I mean the formal mode of reasoning that consists in the combination of a major and minor premise for the sake of producing a necessary conclusion. This is the foundation of all serious rational thought. By the dialectical I mean the method or movement by which a manifold of individual, often contradictory syllogisms are swept up into a dynamic unity wherein each particular’s premises and conclusions constantly interface with those of all others in the endeavor to arrive at a greater, more holistic understanding underpinned by yet fundamentally greater than the sum of its parts. The individual steps of the dialectical movement can be seen as in themselves syllogistic, i.e., involving ground-level deductions based on previously-given conclusions, and the final product of that movement can usually take the form of a single, perfect, culminating syllogism. Such a culmination, however, is made possible only by our ability to compare, contrast, comport, and ultimately unify syllogisms within the context of an all-comprehending tapestry of rational intercourse existing independently of any one individual component, and, most importantly, in which “the result of an untrue…knowledge must not be allowed to run way into an empty nothing, but…grasped as the nothing of that from which it results—a result which contains what was true in the preceding knowledge.”3 This is the kind of dialectic championed by Socrates throughout Plato’s dialogues, which Barr describes as “something precious close to perfection,”4 Sachs as “something that the greatest of philosophers have all talked about and practiced,”5 and Plotinus as “the precious part of Philosophy.”6 3. Hegel, The Phenomenology of Spirit, §87 (trans. Miller). 4. “Notes on Dialogue” (1968), p. 2. 5. “The Heart of the Program” (2004), p. 3. 6. Enneads, I.3.6 (trans. MacKenna-Page). 7. I.e., the Laches. 8. I.e., the Republic. September 25, 2023 §3. A further aspect of dialogue’s general nature demands explication. We’ve already seen that διά’s conjunction with λόγος indicates that this λόγος must act primarily as a medium or means for something extrinsic to itself. But this, in conjunction with the dialectical nature present within that λόγος, leads inevitably to the conclusion that dialogue must be social. It’s possible for dialectic to be conducted by a single individual, since its very nature implies the comprehension of syllogistic multiplicity under a greater unifying rational principle, i.e., the mind itself. But the fact that dialogue involves not the dialectical in itself but the dialectical as an intermediate implies that it is simply the mode of and occasion for the interconnection of multiple minds. This is, again, why the meaning of λόγος qua word is so important: it’s only through such that the intercommunication of minds that dialogue’s διά so obviously demands can actually take place, or, in other words, that the content of the one’s rationality can be transferred to that of the other, and vice versa, for the sake of a greatly enriched dialectical process shared by both at once. §4. This is dialogue qua medium; but dialogue qua means (to an extrinsic end), within the context of the social nature just described, remains as variable as the possible occasions and uses of dialogue as such a medium. It’s this fact that makes dialogue so versatile, so useful in so many different situations: dialogue is only the mechanism by which the ultimate object of its dialectic is pursued, and this object can be anything that its participants want it to be. So Socrates and his interlocutors seek out the true nature of Courage in one dialogue7 and that of Justice in another8, and a healthy democratic body calmly deliberates over the merits and faults of a manifold of policies with the intent of determining the efficacy of each, and also at the same time over those of the overarching political values and ends informing and directing all such policies. In every case the actual goal of a dialogue is outside of itself, and if that goal is ever definitively reached, then it, whose being is constituted by its pursuit, will negate itself in its own completion. §5. All this being established, I finally define dialogue in and of itself as the dialectical process conducted by two or more persons through the medium of rational discourse for the sake of an end extrinsic to that process. II. §1. Dialogue so understood, however, immediately runs into serious real-world issues. To begin with, its threefold 15 �συμπόσιον the Gadfly nature (i.e., the syllogistic, the dialectical, and the social) necessitates a threefold discipline, or more exactly a submission to the necessary conditions of each that must be met in order for the whole to be realized concretely. The syllogistic demands that the formal structure of its own logic is carefully followed, the dialectical demands that all the content of such rigorously-structured syllogisms is kept in continually graceful and well-balanced motion, and the social demands that all persons intending to participate in such motion are shown the respect and consideration that they, both as contributors and as human beings, are inalienably entitled to. But “the laws of nature,” as Hobbes observes, “...of themselves, without the terror of some power to cause them to be observed, are contrary to our natural passions…[a]nd covenants,without the sword, are but words and of no strength.”9,1⁰ Since, then, we’ve already determined that dialogue has no such power, it follows that it’s incapable of actually enforcing its own rules. §2. This naturally leads to the implication that dialogue, left simply to its inherently defenseless self, will provide the very grounds for its own self-contradiction, subversion, and destruction. An absolutely, unqualifiedly free dialogue will almost always allow an individual participant to shirk the discipline(s) essential to its being, and this initial violation, since left entirely unchecked, almost invariably leads to the total denigration and dissolution of the originallyposited dialogue itself. This naturally causes it to take the form of a worthless and belligerent chaos—the opposite of everything that dialogue and its dialectic is and should be. Barr calls this self-engendered antithesis the “eristic,”11 derived from ἔρῐς (conflict or discord). Moreover, if dialogue in and of itself, i.e., unqualifiedly free dialogue, is seen to be defenseless to the point of September 25, 2023 self-contradiction and self-subversion, then the ultimate efficacy and stability of all systems founded upon it must be called seriously into question. III. §1. Perhaps no one ever grasped the essence of this fatal flaw more clearly and sought to rectify it more decisively than Plato himself. “Too much freedom,” he reflects, seems to change into nothing but too much slavery, both for private man and city.”12 This agrees perfectly with our own understanding of the existential threat to dialogue contained within its own content—or, maybe more precisely, its lack of actual, active content, of ἐντελέχεια (self-preserving being). The eristic that proceeds naturally from the inherent impotency of dialogue’s dialectic is tyrannical in that it, upon the very basis of a totally unrestricted mode of political organization, itself constitutes that mode’s annihilation—it plunges all members into a hostile free-for-all in which only the strongest(-willed) may “prevail.” Hence Barr correctly takes Thrasymachus, “whose purpose [in the dialogue] is to win points and to win applause,” as an eristical antithesis to the always-courteous Socrates, whose own purpose is simply “to try, through dialectical discussion… to understand better the essential nature of justice.”13 §2. Now if “the greatest and most savage slavery” proceeds naturally “out of the extreme of freedom,” then the obvious thing to do in order to best preserve the actual benefits produced by freedom would seem, as it did to Plato, to be to create bounds for it, to qualify it so that the eristical-tyrannical elements which would otherwise ferment within it are eliminated or kept at bay. For Plato, this in practice means the active reproach or nonallowal of things such as harmful music15 and poetry16 or heresy and blasphemy17—anything that (at least in his own opinion), if allowed to go unimpeded in society, 9. Leviathan, p. 99 (Britannica Great Books edition, Fuller version). 10. I feel justified in making use of this passage despite the fact that the term “laws of nature” is alien to my own argument because it’s clear that such laws consist essentially in the same kind of reason that’s absolutely essential to it. As Hobbes explains in Pt. I, ch. XIV (p. 86) of the Leviathan, “[a] law of nature, lex naturalis, is a precept, or general rule, found out by reason, by which a man is forbidden to do that which is destructive of his life, or taketh away the means of preserving the same, and to omit that by which he thinketh it may be best preserved.” Obviously the broader contexts of our arguments are different, but the sense in which we’re thinking about reason in itself here turns out to be quite similar. 11. See “Notes on Dialogue,” pp. 2-3. 12. Republic, VIII.564a (trans. Bloom). 13. “Notes on Dialogue,” p. 3. 14. Republic, VIII.564a. 15. See Laws, II.659c-660a, III.700a-701c (trans. Griffith-Schofield) & Republic, III.400a-403c. 16. See Laws, II.659c-660a & Republic, X.607b-608b. 17. See Laws, X. 16 �συμπόσιον the Gadfly will naturally cause society to degenerate into the anarchical freedom that flings itself into tyranny at the first opportunity. Obviously we, as modern and more culturally enlightened people living in the real world, don’t need to go as far as Plato did in the strictures he proposed. But the innermost kernel of his perspective, viz., that an absolutely free social organization must be conditionally closed in order to preserve the true good of its own freedom and to prevent it from becoming entirely closed through self-engendered collapse, seems not simply worthy of serious consideration but correct outright. This is shown by the force of all the preceding arguments. §3. Plato is, of course, not without his detractors. Chief among these is Karl Popper, who coined the nowfamous term paradox of tolerance in the astonishingly uncharitable critique of Plato featured in his Open Society and its Enemies18. For Popper, this paradox, whose maxim is that “[u]nlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance,”19 is used by Plato to justify an unconscionable regime that is “fundamentally identical with”20 totalitarianism. “The enemies of freedom,” he claims, “have always charged its defenders with subversion,”21 and therefore a genuinely free society must never resort to such justifications, whatever the cost. §4. As an alternative to Plato’s program, Popper advances an ideology he calls “protectionism.” Although having “nothing to do with the policy of strict non-intervention (often, but not quite correctly, called ‘laissez faire,’”22 protectionism nevertheless promotes a highly free society in which the state has as 18. See The Open Society and its Enemies, n. 7.4, p. 546. 19. Ibid. 20. Ibid, p. 87. 21. Ibid, p. 88. 22. Ibid, p. 112. 23. Ibid, p. 6. 24. Ibid, n. 7.4, p. 546. 25. Ibid, p. 109. 26. The ridiculous idea that the Platonic society is somehow absolutely or unconditionally restrictive is instantly refuted by the passages given in nn. 15-17, as well as, for instance, the entire character of the Ion. As explained in III.§2, Plato isn’t opposed to all poetry, music, etc., or with them in themselves as art forms, but only with what he considers their grave social misuse and abuse. On the contrary, the qualified use of such art forms, as directed to the betterment or at the very least not to the detriment of the πόλις is approved of and expounded upon throughout the Republic and the Laws. And again, we obviously don’t need to advocate for the precise degree of limitation that Plato does, but only the underlying rationale that informs such limitation; and, in the current context, the fact that all of this is a matter of degree at all is enough to effectively challenge Popper. September 25, 2023 little influence as possible on the education and dialogue of its members. This, and Popper’s perspective as a whole on this matter, is founded ultimately upon his conviction that “[the] story that democracy is not to last forever is as true, and as little to the point, as the assertion that human reason is not to last forever, since only democracy provides an institutional framework that permits reform without violence, and so the use of reason in political matters.”23 §5. There are three major problems with Popper’s position so understood. First, and most fundamentally, it is indistinct from that of Plato’s—or, to put it another way, the very essence of Plato’s is contained latently within his own. Popper himself explains, in response to the Platonic paradox of tolerance, that he advocates for “a government that rules according to the principles of equalitarianism and protectionism; that tolerates all who are prepared to reciprocate, i.e. who are tolerant.” But this in itself is an admission that an absolutely free society, being incapable of even this noble kind of reciprocal intolerance, is not at all feasible, and therefore that it’s necessary to impose some sort of subjective, external conditions upon that society in order to ensure its continued well-being; and this is exactly the view that we’ve seen Plato to propound. It’s all well and good for Popper to talk about how “it is…difficult to determine exactly the degree of freedom that can be left to the citizens without endangering that freedom.” But the fact that the Platonic society is by no means absolutely but only conditionally restrictive, and that such restriction is derived from the exact same rationale of the restrictions of the Popperian/protectionist society, necessarily indicates that the relevant differences between those societies are themselves only of degree and not essence. Second, Popper himself admits that it’s entirely possible for the restrictions that his own protectionist sensibility is willing to sign off on—which, again, are made on essentially the same basis as the Platonic belief that he abhors—to be incapable of preventing the total collapse of democratic society, and moreover that he sees no serious problem with this. He writes: 17 �συμπόσιον the Gadfly [S]hould he [the protectionist democrat] live to see the day when the majority vote destroys… democratic institutions, then this sad experience will tell him only that there does not exist a foolproof method of avoiding tyranny. But it need not weaken his decision to fight tyranny, nor will it expose his theory as inconsistent.27 Thus Popper’s democrat, incapable of simply introducing some further reasonable limitations on manifestly dangerous elements threatening national dialogue in order to actually preserve it in its essence, finds himself in the ridiculous situation of proving himself as the oh-so-noble champion of democracy by allowing it to die in front of him. Third and finally, Popper fails to recognize that, although “only democracy provides an institutional framework that permits reform without violence, and so the use of reason in political matters,”28 the very establishment and preservation of that institutional framework requires a political impetus outside of such reason. Again, reason, according to Popper himself, is “an intellectual link between man and man, a medium of universal understanding”29; but we know well enough by now that such a medium is unable to preserve itself on its own and therefore equally unable to preserve any of the institutions that are built upon it. True dialogue is of course greatly valuable for society, but the actual preservation of its integrity, i.e., the guarantee that all its participants submit to its necessary threefold discipline, is necessarily not due to dialogue in itself but the subjective, partisan valuation and enforcement of it by an extrinsic and unilateral power. From these considerations it’s clear that the intolerance of intolerance, as enunciated by Plato, is entirely necessary and right. 27. Ibid, p. 124. 28. Ibid, p. 6. 29. Ibid, p. 130. 30. “Citizenship, Undergraduate Education, and Great Books.” 31. Ibid. 32. Ibid. 33. Ibid. 34. Ibid. 35. Ibid. 36. Ibid. 18 37. Robert C. Post, “Managing Deliberation: The Quandary of Democratic Dialogue,” Ethics, p. 654. 38. Alexander Meiklejohn, Political Freedom: The Constitutional Powers of the People (1965), p. 7 39. Robert C. Post, “Between Governance and Management: The History and Theory of the Public Forum,” UCLA Law Review 34 (1987): 17131835. September 25, 2023 IV. §1. With all these observations at our backs, let’s finally return to Post’s own thinking. Post’s primary concern throughout his lecture, and—in his view—the cause of “the hell created by mistrust and polarization”30 we’re unfortunately experiencing today, is “extreme partisanship.”31 Since this extreme partisan attitude refuses “to wheel and to deal”32 in the traditional way with those across the political aisle, it’s antithetical to the very nature and project of liberal democracy. “We cannot enter politics,” he argues, “without encountering those who disagree with us, and perhaps who disagree with us radically,”33 and our political agonists cannot be thus encountered without the mutual recognition of “something in common that’s more important than [our] disagreement [i.e., the very system of political dialogue now in place].”34 “Politics is not like war—politics is the art of living together despite differences. In war, we seek to exterminate the other; but in politics, we abjure violence… we seek to win while remaining bound to the rules to the law that defines appropriate political engagement.”35 Since the fundamental rules and ideals of liberal democracy as an institution therefore transcend all other possible disagreements that may occur within or upon the basis of them, “political ideology” itself for Post “counts for much, but it does not count…cannot count for everything.”36 §2. Further valuable information concerning Post’s perspective on this matter can be extracted from his 1993 paper “Managing Deliberation: The Quandary of Democratic Dialogue.” In this wonderful paper, Post dedicates himself to the analysis and refutation of what he calls “the ‘collectivist theory’ of the First Amendment,”37 which consists in the belief that the Amendment’s ultimate goal is not personal autonomy in and of itself but the ensurance of “the voting of wise decisions,”38 and therefore also in the belief that the conditional limitation and moderation of public dialogue is not only constitutionally permissible but necessary and good in itself. Post begins his treatment of this theory by observing that it’s basically “managerial,”39 in the sense that “the [political] meeting is regarded as an instrumental organization designed to achieve important and specific social ends, and its rules and regulations are deemed constitutionally justified insofar as they are necessary for �the Gadfly συμπόσιον the attainment of these ends.”40 Public discourse, for the collectivist, is like a town meeting—and just as a town meeting, with its clear rules for appropriate language, brevity, general decorum, etc., “is free to resolve as it wishes items properly presented for decision, but… is not free to abandon the shared assumptions of function and procedure that constitute it,”41 so it’s only reasonable that national discourse should have an analogously moderated order for the sake of producing a politically and intellectually enriched polity capable of self-preservation and beneficial democratic decisionmaking. This position seems sensible on its face; Post is quick to point out, however, that although such a moderated order is perfectly suitable for something as small-scale and limited in scope as a town meeting, its application to national discourse would necessitate that “the framework of democratic decision making remains fixed and beyond the reach of citizen self-government.”42 And yet this must imply a State that “stands in contradiction to the central project of collective selfdetermination”43 insofar as it “displaces that project for the sake of heteronomously imposed norms.”44 If such a contradiction exists, then it must obviously follow that “the democratic function of public discourse is inconsistent with government regulations that suppress speech within public discourse for the sake of imposing a specific version of national identity.”45 Hence Post concludes this argument with a warning: “[i]f we create organizations of heteronomy, we shall all, sooner or later, be condemned to inhabit them. We shall become the subjects of a power not our own.” §3. I disagree with Post’s position so understood in two fundamental ways. First, it appears to me that he, like Popper, does not satisfyingly address the basic existential problem that dialogue of any kind, and especially dialogue qua political discourse, faces in either his lecture or his above-examined paper. An absolutely free dialogue, again, has no means of actually defending itself against the anti-dialogical behavior and sentiments that will 40. Robert C. Post, “Managing Deliberation: The Quandary of Democratic Dialogue,” Ethics, p. 658. 41. Ibid. 42. Ibid, p. 659. 43. Ibid, p. 660. 44. Ibid, p. 661. 45. Ibid, p. 665. 46. Ibid, p. 678. September 25, 2023 inevitably come onto the scene. In such cases the survival of that dialogue, i.e., of democratic society, can only ever be attributed to some power or agent extrinsic to the realm of dialogue itself. This is necessarily the case because, if it were intrinsic to dialogue, i.e., only a certain conviction or position within a conversation, then it would again be incapable of seriously dealing with something that is antithetical to the very existence of that conversation, and thus that has no interest in following any of its necessary rules. Reason is effective only against itself. The most rational and beautifully expressed argument in the world is worthless when met with irrational or antirational forces; and this is exactly the situation we face in America today. If we fail to fully acknowledge this fact, then we do so at our own peril. Therefore some active and determinate moderating power other than dialogue itself, i.e., a heteronomous power, is necessary. Second, it seems as though Post doesn’t appreciate that liberal-democratic society, and the ideology upon which it’s founded, is no less fundamentally partisan, no less a single subjectively-decided mode of political organization, than any other. Actually, he doesn’t even appear to be fully conscious of this fact. His claim that “political ideology… counts for much, but it does not count…cannot count for everything” is especially telling. By phrasing the matter in this way, it’s clear that he doesn’t consider liberal democracy to be ideologically-founded in its own right. Instead of perceiving that the very valuation of democratic dialogue, i.e., the conviction that such is a beneficial social practice that should be introduced and abided by, is itself profoundly ideological, and is therefore partisan in the sense of being unable to coexist with fundamentally contrary ideologies within the same society, Post appears to view the conventional mode of liberal-democratic discourse as non- or supra-ideological, and in fact as some kind of universal, impartial, value-neutral substratum upon which ideologies then grow and interrelate. This is a common and manifestly false perspective. The ideologies which do genuinely exist and coexist within the context of liberal-democratic dialogue only do so because they are all fundamentally on the same side as it—because they are only minor permutations of one major partisan ideology, and are therefore capable of actual intercourse and compromise within the context of that major ideology. Hence, for instance, different parties are capable of coexisting peacefully with each other because (or maybe 19 �συμπόσιον the Gadfly insofar as) both fundamentally agree with and submit to the overarching ideology of liberal democracy itself. The same principle also holds for things like different (non-fanatical) religions and cultural backgrounds. This is, in fact, exactly why multiculturalism works, and is one of the real virtues of our current mode of political organization. But the same is not and cannot be the case between, for instance, liberal democracy and fascism. There can be no common ground, no substratum, no mutually recognized principle, no friendship, no dialogue between these two. They are utterly irreconcilable, and are thus in a perpetual state of war with each other. And it’s this fact, viz., that fascism is so morally repugnant and so violently irreconcilable with the ideals of our own and of any civilized society, that makes its exclusion, suppression, and elimination reasonable, necessary, and just. “Extreme partisanship” in this sense is therefore not only not bad in itself but actually the foundation upon which a genuinely tolerant, cosmopolitan, and dialogue-rich society must rest. V. §1. Viewing the kind of dialogue featured in the St. John’s Program as a model or microcosm of dialogue in broader American society is a long-standing tradition, not the least for figures like Post. We may now do the same by applying some of the general insights we’ve arrived at to dialogue as it manifests specifically at St. John’s. §2. The ultimate goal of our education at St. John’s, and of liberal education generally, is to prepare us for the acquisition of personal moral excellence. This is obvious by the fact that it’s clearly neither erudition in itself (if it is, then why would the College deemphasize grades, and why would we bother involving ourselves so heavily with the messiness and uncertainty of our kind of dialogue at all?) nor any kind of technical skill (if it is, then why not just go into STEM or trade school?). Nor is our education even capable of making us good on its own; making anyone good is probably impossible, 47. Letters From a Stoic, Letter LXXXVIII (trans. Campbell). 48. Eva Brann, “A Manifesto for Liberal Education” (2015). 49. For a more detailed account of this, see my essay “What’s the Good 20 of a Liberal Education?” in Gadfly XLIV.1. 50. Stringfellow Barr, “Education: Now and to Come: Liberal Education: A Common Adventure,” Autumn, 1955, Vol. 15, No. 3, p. 306. September 25, 2023 and even if it is, one look at the character of our student body shows that it’s most certainly not possible by this means. Instead, liberal education is a worthy practice only insofar as it “prepares the mind for the acquisition of moral values.”47 This is accomplished by the student’s sincere engagement with the trivium and quadrivium, which we study most of at St. John’s, and, specifically at St. John’s itself, with the Great Books and the dialogue through which we approach them. By submitting ourselves wholeheartedly to the dialogue of the classroom in the investigation of “what is elementary in all subject matters,”48 we’re slowly given the inner tools by which we might become more virtuous and fully realized human beings; and this is something infinitely more valuable to ourselves and to society than simple scholarly or technical training.49 §3. An important and interesting distinction needs to be made with respect to dialogue’s place in this system, however. We’ve already observed (I.§4) that dialogue qua means is simply the mechanism by which the ultimate object of its dialectic is pursued. If this is true, however, then it’s clear that the goal of St. John’s is not the goal of dialogue itself. Its goal is to fully understand its object; our goal, conversely, is to use the pursuit of that understanding as a method of social (the third and most characteristic nature of dialogue) and thereby ultimately of moral discipline, regardless of whether we actually end up understanding the object itself or not. This is why Barr writes that “[t]he [great] books really are ‘to chew on,’ not to master.”50 It is not mastery in itself, but the discipline of our communal, dialogical endeavor toward mastery that constitutes the essence of our education. §4. The fact that dialogue is used simply as a moral discipline rather than as an instrument for ascertaining intellectual truth puts an even greater emphasis on the necessity of actually preserving that dialogue. If classes are allowed to be constantly derailed by the Thrasymachuses among us, then we aren’t just deprived of a good conversation, but of the very content of our own education. It’s possible that the desperate struggle to reestablish order can itself be educational, but this must be true only in very specific circumstances and is in any case not what should be generally accepted. What we’ve already said concerning the necessity of an extrinsic, unilateral moderating power capable of enforcing the threefold discipline of the dialogue while not interfering �πόλις the Gadfly with any of its actual syllogistic and dialectical content thus holds especially true here; and this is, in fact, the exact role tutors should play in the classroom. The tutor’s purpose is “not,” of course, “to give information, nor is it to produce the ‘right’ opinion or interpretation”51; but this doesn’t at all contradict their proper activity of ensuring that dialogue remains “cooperative and respectful, not competitive,”52 i.e., of ensuring that the eristical is never able to get a considerable foothold. The St. John’s classroom must be a place where all students feel unconditionally safe and heard. Thus while the actual subject-matter of the students’ dialogue should rarely be interfered with, the structure within which that dialogue must necessarily take place should be very actively and jealously guarded. In summary, tutors should “guide the conversation.”53 Likewise, good students should commit themselves scrupulously to the discipline of dialogue and actively seek to preserve and promote its necessary structure as much as possible through their words and conduct, understanding that it’s only by means of such submission to its strict order that the freedom promised by the Program can actually be acquired.54 VI. §1. To recapitulate: my main contentions are 1) that dialogue is not an end in itself, but only the medium and/or means of something extrinsic, 2) that dialogue, being in itself incapable of self-preservation, requires a similarly extrinsic power in order to defend it from the eristical and to enforce its own necessary conditions, 3) that Plato’s position on democratic dialogue is fundamentally correct, while those of Popper and Post are fundamentally flawed, 4) that modes of political organization based on democratic dialogue are in themselves every bit as partisan and ideological as any others precisely because of their valuation of dialogue, and must be esteemed and defended accordingly, and 5) that the protection of dialogue as it exists both in American life in general and at St. John’s in particular 51. Statement of the Program, p. 5. 52. “Learning Through Conversation at St. John’s College,” 2015. 53. Ibid. 54. For a more thorough account of this position, see my essay “Thoughts on the St. John’s Class” in Gadfly XLIV.4. 55. “Citizenship, Undergraduate Education, and Great Books.” September 25, 2023 necessitates the active, unilateral restriction of things antithetical and irreconcilably opposed to its very nature and being. §2. I’m aware that these contentions will be very unpopular. But it’s my sincere concern for the state of our country, and my sincere love for our Program here, that compels me to put them forward strongly anyway. I have no interest in flattering myself, my colleagues, my tutors, or my fellow citizens with the unrigorous and even complacent appraisals of dialogue that I unfortunately think have become very common. In fact, I think that seriously examining and challenging the philosophical foundations which those appraisals often seem based on is the truest way of respecting both myself and them. At the very least, I think I’ve done a Johnnie-like thing by questioning such a sacrosanct ideal of our country and College, and I can only hope that, in doing so, I’ve managed to be even the littlest bit like those great figures of our Program insofar as they, as Post rightly celebrates, “display both respect for their interlocutors and at the same time the determination to assert their own ideas.”55 Marble head of a philosopher, 1st or 2nd century CE 21 �the Gadfly πόλις September 25, 2023 Getting Personal with the Program Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm It’s a new year, and a new start ‒ certainly for freshmen, but upperclassmen should not think themselves excluded or immune from beginnings. The first questions I long to ask everyone I meet on this campus are: If you have chosen to come to this college, why? What do you believe the core purpose of the program is? Will you allow yourself to be changed? I suppose it isn’t fair to ask so many questions of someone who is still a stranger without answering them myself, but I’m not sure that those answers are clear to my own heart yet. I can tell you this: I fought for three hours with my father, shouting and sobbing, to come here. Others with strict, traditional parents, especially those from less stable foreign countries, may understand this without further explanation. I had been accepted into a prestigious, competitive, well-known school for computational neuroscience, setting me up to graduate with plenty of internships under my belt and a well-paying job lined up. In my father’s eyes, I was throwing away the small fortune he had painstakingly saved since before my conception to support a child’s full education. I was, and still am, incredibly privileged to have even been able to consider coming to this college. Because of this continued pressure on me by practically all of the adults in my life to justify studying here rather than a more traditional school, made worse by the fact that the school is on the other side of the country from what I knew as home and thus necessitated abandoning not only my parents’ dreams for me but abandoning them physically as well, the questions of what the heart of the program is really meant to teach are ever-present in my mind. I spend a lot of time with the Program ‒ in classes, obviously, but elsewhere as well. I am trying to understand It truly, and each time I reach for it, this old fox twists and turns out of my grasp. Every once in a while, the Program and I, butting heads once again, walk down the grassy hill to the small docks. Under the clear stars and over the creek’s restless whispers of “πάντα ῥεῖ,” I beg the Program once again to give me answers. What are we doing here? What is it all for, and was everything I sacrificed to be here 22 Students Crowd around a Tutor during a Dissection of a Sheep Heart in Junior Laboratory even remotely worth it? Can the Program save anyone? How can it be that a Program which I want to believe is so perfect leaves us as such imperfect people? None of us came here as perfect students or perfect Program readers, obviously ‒ even less so as perfect humans. Maybe no such reality exists for any of the ideals. We have to be meant to learn something, though; it can’t be just talk without growth. It is clear that what we are learning are not the languages in themselves, or calculus for its own sake, and certainly not that plants contain fire. The school promises to “make free human beings out of children by means of books and a balance”. Can anyone that can sophistically talk their way through anything then be called free? If so, the college is merely producing tools without guidance, which can bring evil to the world just as readily as they may do good in it. If the Program is to be seen as a good in this world ‒ which I believe is necessary to justify its continued existence and the adoration that many of us hold for it ‒ then it must leave us with some guidance regarding what we should go out into the world to do as well. The obvious answer would be that dozens of our readings center around ethics and virtue. These are almost always my favorite readings, because they allow me to believe that what we are doing on this beautiful little �συμπόσιον the Gadfly campus matters. They allow me to believe that after my four years here, I will exit our bubble as a better person. When I look around at all of these people I love working together to understand texts that I love, I catch a glimpse of what this place is meant for. On the other hand, if I take a step back from my attachment to these people I adore, I hesitate to say that we have all been made better. So many of us, myself included, still fall so short of the ideals of a responsible citizen and individual that we have read about. I am far less active and involved in various clubs and activities than I ought to be, less learned in current political happenings, and less frequent in bringing people joy than I was in my past. I work far too much, partially out of an overabundance of wanting to be prepared for whatever may come my way and partially due to a touch of avarice. Little dramas and gossips still find hold here, even in what I believe is one of the strongest communities that I have seen. We fail in our responsibility to each other in tiny ways all the time, evidenced by the frequent messes left behind in common kitchens or after events. There are far more extreme examples, too: our significant substance use problem, most especially with smoking addiction and its iron grip on our “campus culture,” even if we try to brush it off as a joke; the continued malicious thefts of food of people with medical conditions from common kitchens, even after explanatory notes of the severity of the crime were left; the theft of hundreds of dollars of club equipment; the cases of sexual assault or greater which are reported each year. These occurrences, even if unique in specific details, I am sure are regular occurrences generally in this college’s history. Perhaps the nature of humans is too corrupt for any community to be perfect ‒ again, perhaps ideals will never exist in reality. The books that we read and the subjects we talk about, however, are intended to work towards freeing us from such things. We know better. We choose to do worse. We spend years and years learning through the Program, and we spit in its face again and again as we go. I wonder how many of us genuinely take the Program seriously. The gravity of the Program, the weight of what we have set out to do, hits me at times, but it is so easy to let that fade away when I am preoccupied with other things: work, fun, social conformity, etc. Perhaps September 25, 2023 that means that it doesn’t really loom so large, or it would naturally stay more present in our minds. Every fiber of my being rejects this notion, however. The Program has to be grand and life-changing, or else I will never come to terms with my personal gripes with it. I will never be able to forgive it for what I lost. More specifically, I will never be able to forgive myself for my futile foolishness. And so I need the Program to change me. This school was not the most affordable, not the most prestigious, not the most comfortable, not the easiest of my options. I chose it anyway, believing that it could teach me something that few other places could, in a way that no other place could. It is the only reason I can conceive of to come to a college so far off the beaten path and so contrary to the conventional “wise choices” for higher education. I hope that my fellow students share most of my sentiments about our task at hand. The Program demands so much of its students that entering into it without being deeply passionate about and trusting in its power seems to me as foolish as bailing a body of water which one does not know the bounds of. But if we are all here for the same core reason, and if we all want to grow through this Program, shouldn’t we live and breathe it; not just by dedicating so much time to it, but by holding it in our hearts as we decide daily how to conduct ourselves in this world? Even if we continue to fall short, at least we’re making small steps. At least the weight of the Program is carried with us in some sense, even if it is only the source of some guilt and not a full change of actions. At least we can say that what we have spent or will spend four years of our short lives studying leads us to be better to each other, better to our community, better to our world. This is perhaps not someone that every college student can claim (certainly not finance majors). The last question that I sometimes want to ask as a part of my initial torrent of them, although I fear it coming off as rudeness: If it is the case that you did not come here ready, and more than that, desperate to be changed, then why did you bother? 23 �the Gadfly πόλις From the President: The Value of Civic Engagement Nora Demleitner During the spring’s inauguration ceremony, I laid out my vision for St. John’s College as a place that “sustains its unique spirit and continues to set itself apart from other institutions of higher education—and that we keep leaning into our distinctive curriculum while responding to the needs of our time, remaining relevant for the next 100 years and beyond.” Part of that vision includes championing “an atmosphere where students have a strong sense of belonging, and they are set up for success as participants in civic life and the workforce; an environment where we are engendering responsible citizenship and lifelong learning...” I believe there may be no better way to accomplish this than to support opportunities where students can be of service to others. Since joining the college, I have been continually impressed with the community volunteer efforts of our students, many of which are longstanding, such as Project Polity’s tutoring sessions for local Annapolis youth, community cleanups and pantry drives. The Food Recovery Network, a partnership between students and staff of the dining hall, last year donated more than 2,500 pounds of food to Annapolis Light House, a homelessness prevention center. Volunteering has also had its place on campus, for example when tutors, students and staff team up annually to create and maintain a campus rain garden with native plants. Beyond enhancing the College’s reputation in the Annapolis community, these opportunities are a great chance to make the program come alive. You can apply skills such as listening and working together that are at the core of our program’s pedagogy in the real world. You’ll be amazed what you have learned and how applicable it is to situations on and off campus. Civic participation also provides opportunities to think about the values you read about in the classroom – virtue, beauty, justice, friendship – and how they relate to you as an individual, and the greater community. Being of service to others is a way of clarifying personal values, finding purpose and meaning, and learning about one’s place in the larger community. That civic engagement can take many forms, such as the community service examples above, but it can also mean getting involved in a nonprofit foundation, or in support of a cause you are passionate about. This sort of work can help you find your strengths, perhaps even figure out a career path, and build skills that will serve you throughout your lifetime. I want you to know that the College sees what you are doing – and we support it. If you have more ideas for ways to serve the community, bring them forward. I regularly interact with community organizations who ask for Johnnie support because of the impressive way in which you comport yourself. I couldn’t be prouder of all of your community efforts, and they, along with the education you receive here, are truly the foundation for a meaningful life, meaningful work, and better world for us all. Scott M. Buchanan Leading a Community Seminar 24 September 25, 2023 �the Gadfly πόλις Advice on Summer Vacation Bennett Scott Dear fools, What is the divine truth of a summer vacation? The hottest days of your youth spent rollerblading till your knees bled, your knees burning as you jumped in the over-chlorinated pool, the bug bites layered on the backs of your knees distracting from your youthful four square crushes. All those wonderful knee-oriented days are gone; now your summer days are: working at the local coffee shop, ripping on your vape out back with Pam (20 years serving coffee and not once employee of the month), and being hit on by men who are old enough to be your father and apparently wouldn’t mind if they were. The nights are filled with drinking and trying to be friends with people you haven’t been friends with since high school and, during a lucky witching hour or two, trying out some new drug and gazing off into the distance of your car’s ceiling. (If you’re new here: welcome, you’ll understand in about three weeks.) Let’s be frank with each other: it was a boring summer. When people ask you what you did, you’re embarrassed. Sure, you tripped acid for the first time, went on a date with that 56 year old Italian mobster, and even managed to rug-burn your knees, but it’s just not the same. You know me, dear reader; I’ve always got a solution for you. Lie. Just straight up lie about what you did this summer. And not just one lie (coward), but as many as you can juggle in that little sun-bleached head of yours: To your Greek class, you spent the summer curing cancer with unheard of new methods based on a vision you had in a dream (that image of your ex-threetimes-removed partner surrounded by a halo of birds repeating “Oogabooga” at you over and over had to mean something!). To your math class, you worked as a bouncer/ bartender/much-requested-but-rarely-seen-dancer at a strip club by the name of The Swooch’s Gentlewoman’s Club (you, however, went by the name Bach It Up and exclusively danced to his Suites in Major) where you led the newest trends in seduction (not to let the cat out of the bag, but it involves putting a cat in a bag). September 25, 2023 To your tutors, you were hiking the Appalachian trail with nothing but a sawn off toothbrush and the clothes on your back in pursuit of a spiritual experience (the spirit has spoken: you are to become a goat herder and Christian rapper). To your “we ate once together” friend, you may have murdered three people or maybe you didn’t there isn’t any definitive evidence guess you’ll never know, Jeremy. To your crush, you (weren’t doing anything, never have a crush on anyone at St. John’s College it’s a horrible idea, we’re all idiots, romantic idiots who’ll eat you alive without realizing it or very much realizing it and you won’t know what you’d like to believe as you lay crying on Augustine’s Confessions). And when everything threatens to come crashing down at a party with everyone there, you’ll realize reconciling the timelines is the most entertaining part: “No no no don’t worry sorry I forgot to tell you all the full story of my summer so yes I was working at Swoochie’s at night while I was curing cancer during the day and going to the Appalachians on Tuesdays where I might have murdered one person and murdered the other two at the club during a bar fight and buried them in the lot out back (4571 E. Plimpton Street, Detroit MI 48127) which is now also where I’ll be setting up my combination goat-field and church/soundstage, yeah it was really a great summer huh and I know I’m so cool and hot and have lyme disease from the hikes so don’t you want me huh don’t want to date me now Mr.—(Shush. Don’t have a crush at SJC). Remember: Dead men tell no tales (hidden underneath a thick layer of pepper and dead fish in the dirt lot where you last saw your mobster boyfriend), but you sure can. So why not tell interesting ones? —B.S. (Not for BSing) Students Sitting in Sailboats on College Creek 25 �πόλις the Gadfly September 25, 2023 Neotibicen canicularis: Dog-Day Cicada 100 decibels? Are you sick-a-da noise? Louis Rosenberg & Vivian Miyakawa It’s another beautiful day on campus. The weather is perfect for reading, with soft hints of sunlight glancing through the trees, and not a single gust of wind to disturb the pages of a busy student. Settling down, freshmen crack open The Odyssey while seniors tackle the works of Hegel. On this lovely afternoon, productivity comes easy. A lull falls over the quad as everyone settles in, reveling in the peaceful simplicity of studying outside. It starts with a hum. A simple background noise, akin to the gentle buzzing of honeybees or the quiet whir of fluorescent lights. It blends in with the rustling of the trees, hardly noticeable to anyone who isn’t seeking it out. Slowly, the humming builds. Students are pressed to pay attention to their readings, attempting to tune out the now obnoxious drone of continuous noise. The buzzing sounds frantic now, getting louder by the second and showing no signs of stopping. An irritated Johnnie whips out their phone, grumbling about cicadas. In what may well be a futile attempt to guilt-trip these singing insects, they navigate to a website that records noise levels. As soon as the page is opened, the screen spits out an outrageous number. One hundred decibels. The very same volume as using a lawnmower or operating a jackhammer. As the students reluctantly retreat to their dorms for a quieter study space, they’ll grumble these questions to themselves as they trek up the stairs: How on earth can such small bugs make such loud noises? And why are they absolutely everywhere? Annual cicadas can be spotted throughout the fall at various points in their adult life-cycle: singing from the trees, disrupting classrooms in Mellon, and dying on the ground. These cicadas are distinct from their periodical brethren both in their lifecycle (they emerge every year while periodical cicadas emerge every 13 or 17 years) and their appearance. Species that emerge annually are larger than periodical cicadas and possess relatively wider bodies. Their carapaces are generally patterned in various shades of green, brown, and black; their eyes are black or brown rather than the bright red of periodical species. Many annual species closely resemble each other, however, and identification of specific species is further complicated by 26 the significant variation within each species’ patterns. One of the more common annual species in Maryland is the dog-day cicada, N. canicularis. They come in three primary color morphs: green with black markings, brown with black markings, and predominately black. They are smaller than some other species which may otherwise be mistaken for them, such as the lyrical cicada, but are still fairly large insects at 1.5 to 2 inches in length. The adult form of cicadas is the most easily recognizable to the routine observer, as the nymphs spend all of their time underground. Adults begin emerging in mid-summer and fly, mate, lay eggs in plant stems, and yes, sing, until early October. Though each year will lead to at least some new adult dog-day cicadas emerging (hence the common reference to “annual cicadas”), each individual of this species is thought to have a life-cycle lasting around 3 years. The characteristic singing of cicadas is among the loudest of any insect species, often building to more than 100 decibels, which is comparable in volume to a lawnmower. Their song is used to attract females or, for some species, repel rival males. Sound is produced from cicadas’ tymbals, which are located in a cavity between their first and second body segments. When the tymbal is vibrated by a cicada’s abdominal muscles, it produces the start of the song, and the sound is amplified to its extreme volume by resonation chambers in the thorax and abdomen. In part because of the variation between songs of different N. canicularis specimens, it is suspected that they often hybridize with other cicadas in the genus. Still, dedicated listeners can often still identify cicadas based solely on the sound of their chirping. Next time you’re out on the quad, you should give it a try. Sources: https://bugguide.net/node/view/12461 https://lanwebs.lander.edu/faculty/rsfox/invertebrates/tibicen.html https://extension.umd.edu/resource/cicadas-maryland “The Evolutionary Relationships of 17 and 13 Year Cicadas,” R. D. Alexander and T. E. Moore (https://orthsoc.org/sina/c700lam62.pdf ). �πόλις the Gadfly September 25, 2023 The Betrothed Luke Briner I. As I walk weeping through the shaded vale That seeks to swallow me in arid night And would but for that faint-aetheric light Which rare and sweet illumes the somber pale, May I keep tight this consecrated veil Wrapped ‘round me, and, so wrapped, obscure the sight Alike of extern eyes and false delight And fix my view above by its curtail. O veil, true cultus of obscurity! Beloved, I desire to be unknown Unto this world and all its surety If only I one day before your Throne Might find my peace at last, and if to me You will vouchsafe eternally your own. II. Allow me, then, to breathe in the perfume Of your true Name, ambrosial as the flowers Of Lebanon or henna-braided bowers Of fair Ein-Gedi in resplendent bloom, And, so enrapt, with joy myself consume In fainted love of that enthralling Power Which in you flows innate and from you showers Upon your servants’ Idyll-famished gloom; Ah, that I might, my Perfect One, return My borrowed fragrance to your native Seat From which my second race made sad adjourn And back to which I long now to retreat, And knelt before you, solemn and supern, With it in trembling awe anoint your feet! III. See how my spirit cries out for your reign, Sublime as that of David, who through force Of Prodigy by Providence endorsed Made Israel’s two Kingdoms his domain, Or Pallas, Genius-Sired of Heaven’s Plane, Who, condescending from her lofty Course, Contrived by puissant Wisdom to enforce Upon her namesake State her golden Rein; As they exalted came to the command Of subjects bound in gracious unity, May you with sovereign soul and sceptered hand Deign to reside triumphant over me, And I, thus made your own new-conquered land, Become at last by your yoke truly free. IV. With Longing such as this I ceaseless pray In silent speech, my gaze cast humbly down By meditations cumbrous as the gown Which curtains me from the encroaching fray And keeps me on the much-benighted Way That leads to and is lumined by your Crown Whose sacred shine dispels all mortal frown And hints the dawn of amaranthine Day; As I make my way down that lustral aisle, Good egress of this sad-appointed place, Allow me unto you to reconcile My heart, so long unworthy of embrace, So I might look, at the end of my trial, At last with eyes upraised upon your Face. V. O Face, which with a smile can comprehend The nameless ecstasies of the Divine— O Face, whose contemplation is a wine With which no worldly spirit could contend! Wrapped now in your own arms do I transcend All past-held pain, all reason for repine, And, finding in you all that was once mine, Achieve by new Beginning my true End. Before I was, you Were, and but for you I’d have no life, nor have desire thereof; For unto you and you alone I flew, My only wish to find you here Above, And joined again in Consummation true To melt away in your all-perfect Love. 27 �πόλις the Gadfly September 25, 2023 The SJC Mystery #1: The Stone Bennett "The Stone" Scott In middle of the journey of our days I found that I was in a darksome wood— The right road lost and vanished in the maze. I live by one rule: never do anything that could start a horror movie. It singlehandedly prevents all manner of foolish decisions: sex in the woods at night: no; exploring dangerous abandoned buildings: NO; using a ouija board to summon your recently deceased neighbor while insulting that neighbor’s elderly widow: NO. But I am young, dumb, and stupid, which means I already qualify for a horror movie by simple right of being. So, just this once, I want to try something: The Stone. If I’ve ever been anywhere haunted, it would be the St. John’s College, Annapolis campus. The college bookstore was a morgue during the civil war, people have been drowning here in College Creek for centuries, and there is something most certainly devilish in this muggy East Coast air (it’s the cigarette smoke that you just blew into my face). And The Stone? The stone is bad vibe overdrive. Walk up the brick path from the front entrance, pass the first building (McDowell, my old friend, hello, didn’t you burn down in a fire?), and come to a quadrangular space we call the quad (innovative). On the southwest side of the upper lawn is The Stone, hidden amongst the gray, a small disk carved out of the slate ground. Pick it up. Turn it over. Now, you are looking at The Symbol. The Symbol is best described as four tallies, the second having a twist attached below, and a large curve on the far side (Bad description? Read till the end of the article to find out how you can see it! And your boy! At the same time!). To me it looks like a really messed up moose ridden by my dad, mom, and me. My psychoanalyst would like me to unpack that; I will not. So what is The Symbol? If you ask around, even the witchiest looking students (stick and poke tattoos, teeth earrings, self-administered haircuts) can’t tell you, 28 responding to all inquiries by wondering aloud if they should leave the college. You can try asking the internet too. But posts on Reddit and other, somehow sketchier websites have received only mocking responses, net -2 upvotes, and an ad for hot moms in my area (I don’t care what they need right now while their husbands are gone, do they or do they not they know what The Symbol is?). Even contemplating The Symbol while absolutely out of my mind on entirely legal experiential substances led only to a vague sense of foreboding and the urge to order Papa John’s. So, having tried everything, I was forced to pull out the big guns: get over my social anxiety and ask our head librarian and campus historian, Penelope Earrose. Bennett Scott: Dr. Earrose, thank you for taking the time to meet with me. Penelope Earrose: Of course! I love nothing more than getting to talk to students about college history and thus being given a fleeting moment of freedom where I actually get to do my job and interact with other human beings rather than just stare into the dreadful empty face of my computer all day. BS: Great. So when was the current campus of St. John’s founded? PE: Well, work on Mellon was begun in 1742, but [entirely interesting information has been cut here to get you to the heart of the matter:] BS: So do you know anything about The Stone? PE: Sorry, the what? BS: The Stone. The small disk on the quad with a weird symbol on it? This weird symbol. [Draws The Symbol.] PE: Well, no, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that. We’ve got some old documents that you’re more than welcome to sort through for any explanations, but that…well to tell you the truth, Mr. Scott, that symbol just doesn’t look right. BS: Thank you for your time Dr. Earrose. PE: Of course. BS: [Leaves the office, walks out the front of the �συμπόσιον the Gadfly September 25, 2023 library, promptly:] Well, fuck my one idea. So then, my search continues. If you have any information regarding The Stone, The Symbol, or anything even vaguely related, please send me an email at: bascott@sjc.edu. If there’s anything helpful, I’ll try to include it in the next article. Also! In an SJC first, there will be a video series associated with this column; the first video is already up; go check it out for more details on this mess I’ve gotten myself into: (All my videos will be uploaded to this channel (BSMysteries), so check it out!) 29 �πόλις the Gadfly September 25, 2023 Review of the Freewrite Drafting Tool John Teague In the spring of 2023, I pulled the trigger on a used Taylor 812ce I had been eyeing at a music store in Baltimore. This particular instrument had been on my mind since my sophomore year in high school: made in America, new V-Class bracing, beautiful inlays. It manages to be articulate without sacrificing the great tone of the more traditional dreadnought, making it a fingerstyle guitarist's dream. This particular model stood unadulterated from any electronics, and its rudimentary simplicity encouraged rudimentary practice. Unamplified sets harkening back to distant memories of folk music in the Sangre de Cristo mountains, where I worked a summer exploring and presenting that country. Despite the seemingly impossible combination of both jargon and abstractions of my description, the guitar managed to touch me spiritually, invigorating my practice habits. I've improved more in a partial year of fine guitar ownership than I would in a decade of noodling on my old acoustic at my previous rate. Learning tunes and techniques from their bluegrass inceptions to their more modern nu-folk consequences, I've immersed myself in something more than a music style, a certain folkish worldview and all its accompanying philosophies and mannerisms that gradually change a personality. While the cause of this 30 was my will (I think), I remain troubled by a realization that my musical and personal development was only the consequence of my enthusiasm for a new purchase, a state of mind also witnessed in Funko Pop mongers and MCM universe enjoyers. With that experience showing me that virtue can, in fact, be taught, I made another purchase - ASTROHAUS's Freewrite Drafting Assistant. It markets itself as a 'digital typewriter,' the gateway to distraction-free writing. I checked the package tracking with some excitement, wanting to hold and feel the aluminum chassis in my hand, to hear the satisfying clacks of the MX Brown mechanical switches. Now that it has arrived, I can confirm that it does, in fact, feel great in my hands and that writing with it is a novel and enjoyable experience. It has fewer electronic functions, so its reduced EMF radiation probably has a less harmful effect on my genetic fidelity (I write as I smoke a cigarette). My state of mind as I write this review is as advertised. Instead of switching tabs or listening to music I feel a cool autumnal breeze and hear the sound of lapping water on ships' hulls. I'm writing this relatively quickly, a good sign that I'll get the improved output I was looking for. John M. Christensen, Director of Admissions, Seated at Desk Typing on a Computer Keyboardon a Computer Keyboard �πόλις the Gadfly This article’s pretensions fall away when I am led into the next part of any review, whether or not I'd recommend the Freewrite. To answer that question, I of course have to ask myself the question 'for whom?' which in this particular instance, begs an inquiry into the psychological effects of the Freewrite on a consumer in a society where things like 'distractionfree' are taglines for overpriced, metrosexual-adjacent gizmos that simply give back to the human experience the peace of our previous simpler existence. An inquiry which, in a just world, would fill a small tome your correspondent is currently unable to write with his overstimulated, mildly ADHD-ridden (can I get meds for this?) brain. I personally avoid taking responsibility by complaining about the prevalence and aggression of modern advertising, annoying at its best and maddening at its worst. It is product as spectacle that got me into this mess and so it must be another one that potentially gets me out. - Quick aside, have you seen these iPad babies recently? God, that sh* makes me want to vomit. That's not to say I would ever say anything bad about mothers who, of course, are blameless in all instances. Something someone once called Product Excitement Syndrome (hereafter called PES) has come on the scene as a very lucrative state of mind to be induced into the atomized consumer. Lacking church, family, good books (maybe movies), desire for social change, nationalism, or general hope the mind struggles in a search for some unattainable mystery to apply itself towards. When freed from worrying about complex strategies for the tracking down of the tribe's next mammoth, the resultant bored consciousness instead tracks down information about another other, ideas of wealth and success, and fantasizes about the procuring of one of those distant philoplutarian offerings of the megaconglomerates and especially about the presentation of one of those products to the consumer's friends and 'loved' ones. One suffering from PES, interestingly, does not especially fantasize about the changes to the quality of his life entailed from the procuring of product, especially recently (admittedly, I would probably have been frothing at the mouth for a Model T, but an iPhone? ‘Come on, Man!’). The situation is not really as vain as I'm saying, though. Sometimes people afflicted by PES are really trying to find a beautiful life. Purveyors of fashion try, September 25, 2023 with varying degrees of earnestness, to embody some idea of material quality with selvedge jeans or Goodyear Welted boots. So-called 'barefoot shoes' sell the idea of a natural life halfway convincingly. It's just that I can't wrap my head around all these lifestyle choices being driven by profit motive, especially when the product embodies ideas that your correspondent sees as 'good' or 'sustainable,' It seems like whatever goodness I can sense in those ideas is being violated, bringing superficiality to things that really ought to be taken seriously. This is where the Freewrite Writing Assistant comes in. The instruments specific to the art of idea-sharing are progressing, getting faster and easier to use, resulting generally in better ideas that are more fun to digest. There's no way to write or distribute any kind of rigorous metaphysics treatise or witty postmodern novella on a stone tablet etched in cuneiform. Recent technological developments, however, are mostly centered around the general easing of life itself, rendering obsolete previous tools with single functions by introducing complex multi-function tools: think of the smartphone replacing a cell phone, camera, notebook, library, et cetera into a palm sized brick of literally unimaginable utility. This is all well and good (arguably) when considering the total efficiency of the person, but considered individually the functions seem to be compromised, not to mention the weird thing that happens psychologically when you can't actually grasp the tool you’re using. I can’t conceive of a cell phone camera ever being of higher quality than a proper DSLR (even when considering ease-of-use: a cell phone will always have some kind of interface in the way, keeping you from taking your picture). All of the improvements to writing the Freewrite offers are a result of the simple re-establishment of a unique tool for a particular function. The function in question is notoriously tedious, as hundreds of millions of students will testify, and so the FreeWrite finds a particularly roomy niche to occupy. Typewriters, so obsolesced, have not had the advantage of adopting the technological innovations designed for quality-of-life improvements for writing on laptops, and so ASTROHAUS simply decided to apply those improvements -nice keyboard, digital storage, wi-fi backups- to a nevertheless simple machine. But there are people who'll read much further into the FreeWrite than this, arguing something like ‘distraction-free writing is the only way to truly write and 31 �πόλις the Gadfly laptop writers must needs be either poor, unaware, or a Philistine. The FreeWrite™ has not only freed my mind, but also my soul’(the author begs you forgive this less than flattering portrait of a PES-inflicted FreeWrite enjoyer, the truth is that he, in fact, at one point held opinions regetably similar to those of the caricature he describes). Those afflicted by PES perceive a large divide in society of people who perceive the valiant struggle the FreeWrite engages in and the slobbering masses, unable to articulate a thought due to TikTok brain. The irony of this sentiment distresses me greatly. Writing, thought materialized, should be as self-aware as possible. The compromising of so basic a foundation shakes the whole building, and simply put, I won't trust you if you think this product is going to purify your thoughts. And yet, as I've learned through my guitar purchase, the human spirit seems to be lamb-like enough to potentially be benefited by PES. For argument's sake, let’s say that regular writing is a substantial enrichment of a personality, like music. Would not this character, so maddened by the FreeWrite, wind up actually being a better person for it, assuming his blistering rage puts him at the keys? And would not the regular ‘distractionfree’ lengths of time gradually ease his troubled soul? And then, won’t he have actually accomplished his idea of himself: a little-stimulated, thoughtful, little guy with a big writing portfolio? It’s this thought thought that just drives me crazy about the FreeWrite. The best argument I have for purchasing the FreeWrite is the fact that I wrote the first draft for this article ~1500 words, in a little over two hours. For me, this is lightning pace. But really, this wasn’t due to any mystical encouraging by the mechanical keyboard or imparting of wisdom by the aluminum chassis (both of which are, again, really nice) but instead the smallness of the screen preventing me from going back to what I had previously written while I was drafting. I didn’t realize this, but the reason I used to write at a snail’s pace was because I would go back up and make edits whenever I would get stuck on a sentence, which I now realize is a huge waste of time. I really don’t think the FreeWrite is necessary to induce this, though. You could simply zoom in on your text document or have good habits or something, but for me it took buying a cringeworthy 32 September 25, 2023 typewriter. Besides the embarrassment of my failure to come to this realization by myself, the reality of the contrivance of my improvement shakes my security of humanity’s ownership of the fine arts. If I do wind up becoming a better writer, it will be the result not of my nature, nor my will, but a rather funny little object. So, do I recommend ASTROHAUS’s FreeWrite Drafting Assistant? Perhaps. Even though it’s quite overpriced it does seem very nice. I think the improved feel of the act of writing will increase my output. If that kind of thing matters to you or you just like the look of it, go ahead; it will probably be what you’re hoping for. Why would I even want to recommend or dissuade from buying it? It’s like you’re asking me to inform you how to be more like myself. But if you go out to purchase one, I beg of you to think of the consequences and recommend you come up with some sort of coping mechanism to handle the stress of battling with your identity. Small writing desk (bonheur-du-jour). Martin Carlin, c. 1768 �πόλις the Gadfly September 25, 2023 Freshman Bodies and Freshman Souls The following list is reprinted from a 1982 issue of the Gadfly. Bryce Jacobsen The reasons, both physical and metaphysical, why everyone ought to become involved in our sports program are many. 1. We have the best athletic program of any college in the country. 2. Exercise is good for the body... unless you sprain an ankle, or something like that. 3. Most of us feel better, are more alert, and can get more work done if our bodies are healthy and our souls relaxed. 4. Friendly competition is one of the really fun things in life. It is good for your soul. 5. Your circle of acquaintances will be greatly enlarged. This is good for the soul, provided you can separate the wheat from the chaff. 6. You will learn to accept, and bear with, thousands of split-second decisions from the officials, a few of which are wrong. This is very good for the soul. 7. Do you like to strive for, and achieve, specific goals? If so, consider our College Blazers. They are much sought after, and the pathway is clearly laid out. Striving for goals is good for your soul. 8. It is probablly true that more pure fun occurs in the athletic program than in any other area of the college. Fun is good for your soul. 9. If you get involved in team sports, and become a "good team player," you have realized that there are things in the Universe that are more important than your ego. That is good for your soul. 10. The benefits of exercise and friendly competition, learned while one is young, should be maintained for the rest of your life... i.e., they should become habitual. For virtue, as the Philosopher said, is a habit. 11. You will get to know numerous Alumni, Tutors, and Staff members who participate in the program. This is good for your soul, or ought to be... provided that they are the proper sort of role models. 12. Our showers are the best at the college; always plenty of hot water. 13. Are you bothered by, or worried by, tobacco fumes in the air? Come to the gym. The whole building is a nicotine-free zone. 14. If you perform some sort of heroic deed on the athletic field, your name will be mentioned in our weekly column. Heroes are always acclaimed. But do not be carried away by this. Remember that "the paths to glory lead but to the grave." 15. A high percentage of our best students are active participants in our program. 16. Those who play, stay. 17. The gym is not particularly well-equipped, as gyms go. But it has washers and dryers, and a cokemachine... and I will explain to you, if you ask me, how you can get yourself in tip-top physical shape, without any equipment at all. 18. You can sit in an old-time barber's chair in my office... you can pump yourself up or down, and adjust the slope high or low. Where else can you do that? 19. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. 20. It is better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness. So there you have it.. twenty good reasons why you should participate in our athletic program. If you are not convinced by all this, come and talk with me... I can probably think of some more good reasons. Or better yer, ralk with the upperclassmen. They will tell you all sorts of strange, interesting and wondrous things. Bryce Jacobsen Director of Athletics The Gadfly - September 9, 1982 33 �πόλις the Gadfly September 25, 2023 Finds from the Archives This room has since undergone a "vibe shift." Can this thing please come down from the attic? Students Playing Table Tennis in the Basement of Paca-Carroll House, c. 1941 34 �πόλις the Gadfly September 25, 2023 Finds from the Archives They say this student still has that look on his face. Students with Suspended Weights in Laboratory Class 35 �THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, staff, and alumni of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and thought provoking newsmagazine. Dean John O. Neustadt Seated on a Tree Stump Playing with a Dog on Campus, c. 1940 Submissions sent to the Gadfly should either be in Google Docs or JPEG format. The deadline for submissions is the Friday prior to publication. For more information, contact us via email at sjca.gadfly@ gmail.com 6 0 COLLEGE AVENUE Images without a listed source are from the St. John's College Digital Archives. St. John's College owns the rights to these photographs. 36 ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 36 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XLV, Issue 1 Description An account of the resource Volume XLV, Issue 1 of The Gadfly. Published September 25, 2023. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Briner, Luke (Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2023-09-25 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource College students' writings--Periodicals College student newspapers and periodicals St. John's College--Periodicals Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly Vol XLV Issue 1 Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/33a9580067ee4456eada766557c22b35.pdf 9f0c0673098e8d1d3f4d04b3d207f417 PDF Text Text THE St. John’s College Annapolis, Maryland GADFLY Settling In October 12, 2023 Vol. XLV, Issue 2 �CONTENTS Letter from the Editor λόγος Dear Polity, Interview: Robert Abbott, Assistant Dean and [Man Who Doesn’t Want Me to Call Him the] Philosopher King by Bennet Scott 3 Club Spotlight: Historia by Tamar Pinsky 6 Shaking Down Leftism by B.S. 7 Club Spotlight: The Platypus Review by Tamar Pinsky 9 How to Survive the Dining Hall in 13 Easy Steps by Anonymous 12 We hope that you’re having a great start to the year, and that you loved the Gadfly’s first issue of it! In this issue, we take a closer look at everything that’s now very much underway at the College; new clubs, new inquiries, and new experiences. To provide a pleasant counterpoint to this, and to keep with the precedent set by the previous issue, we’ve also reproduced another foundational text by Barr on the nature of the Program as we know it, and thus on how we’ve actually gotten to where we are now. Enjoy! Why Waltz? by Vivian Miyakawa 13 Luke Briner, Editor-in-chief SJC Mystery #2 by Bennett “Worked in Real Estate for One Summer” Scott 14 Swish: Motion of Fish by Ella Jacky 15 The Rose by Kurtis Bleakley 16 Comic: Noodles 02: “The Overly Optimistic Crosswalk Button by Tamar Pinsky 17 συμπόσιον Freedom, Responsibility, and the Liberal Arts by Stringfellow Barr, arranged by Luke Briner 10 πόλιςÊ THE STRUCTURE Λόγος holds news reports and narratives of immediate relevance to the Polity. The purpose here is to develop a shared reservoir of information relating to campus life and the community. ΣυμπόσιονÊoffers the opportunity for our readers to thoughtfully consider contrasting opinions regarding a particular topic. ΠόλιςÊserves as a platform for elevating voices in our community. Here we find letters to the editor, columns, cartoons, and submitted pieces. · · 2 Corrections to Vol. XLV, Issue 1 In Tamar Pinsky’s article “Registrar Resignation Leaves Students Spooked,” a previous registrar at the College was referred to as “Jacki Thomas”; their name is actually “Thoms Jacqueline.” At the end of section IV.§2 of Luke Briner’s essay “A Critique of Dialogue,” a citation is missing—this should be to: Robert C. Post, “Managing Deliberation: The Quandary of Democratic Dialogue,” Ethics, Vol. 103, No. 4 (Jul. 1993), pp. 667-8. THE GADFLY STAFF COVER EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR STAFF Photography by Abigail Poppleton Luke Briner El’ad NicholsKaufman Meliha Anthony Vivian Miyakawa Tamar Pinsky Louis Rosenberg Benne Sco YOUT KC Taylor Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm CONTRIBUTORS Ella Jacky Kurtis Bleakley �λόγος THE GADFLY October 12, 2023 Robert Abbo , Assistant Dean and [Man Who Doesn’t Want Me to Call Him the] Philosopher King By Benne Sco Pictured: Assistant Dean Robert Abbo and Desistant Mean Obert Rabbo (Photo by Meliha Anthony) Every interview I read has some description of its subject and the interviewing process at the beginning. I, unfortunately, consider myself the most contrarian interviewer in America. Thus, an at-best-tangential note: I wrote my first Gadfly article at Mr. Abbott’s request. So blame him for all my madness-making. Q:ÊWhoÊdoÊyouÊthinkÊyouÊare? I don’t know. You’reÊ aÊ knownÊ fanÊ ofÊ Tristram Shandy;Ê howÊ wouldÊyouÊbeginÊyourÊfictionalÊautobiography? I would like to know how on earth did you know that I am a fan of Tristram Shandy? How widespread is this knowledge and what is it based on? Research. Oh. Oh. You’re a reporter is what you’re saying. Mhm. Tristram begins his narrative in a completely unmentionable way which I will not do. I would probably start with the rather dry observation that one’s life has many origins. What’s been interesting in mine has been discovering them. So I don’t know, I would say something like “I was born in Virginia but came to consciousness in Annapolis.” IfÊyouÊcouldÊmakeÊaÊnewÊSJCÊclass,ÊwhatÊwouldÊitÊ lookÊlike? If we had more time, I’d want to put on more law and German literature. I have thought about the art 3 �λόγος THE GADFLY preceptorial, but, as much as I love art and painting, I think it would be difficult to make a regular class. I really can’t think of any that I would want to add. What’sÊbeenÊyourÊgreatestÊlearningÊmomentÊatÊSt.Ê John’s? I don’t have a good answer; you’re going to have to help me. All the ones that occur to me are from Freshman year and were in some way fundamental or profound though simple. Looking at a fish and realizing that I did not understand what causality was, and would not have any idea how one thing led to another in an organism. This is different, this is entirely different, but equally important: the first time I realized a tutor was reading my essay really carefully and they were taking what I was saying seriously and I could feel my whole person turning towards the effort of becoming a better writer because if that’s going to happen—people are going to read my writing—I should get better at it. But I don’t know how to rank these things. [There was banter here; as I am a reporter, this is called: Off The Record.] Joining crew. I was a terrible athlete in high school. I remember being forced to play soccer in high school and I used to request to play ‘fullback,’ which I learned was a term I could ask to be. I could just slowly back off the field into the woods and nobody would notice. That was how bad my fear of being in a game or being observed was. But then I had this incredible experience of being on crew with then coach Leo Pickens and I realized physical exertion and being part of a team could be a path to selfrealization and connecting with other people. He used to say at the beginning of the year “You show, you row,” and it came to me as the year went on: “Oh right, all I have to do is show up, and all sorts of amazing things will happen. I don’t have to be a certain person. I just have to show up.” WhatÊ SJCÊ traditionsÊ shouldÊ weÊ bringÊ backÊ fromÊ whenÊyouÊwereÊaÊstudent? Okay, so the good part about this question was my realizing that so many of the traditions that I love at the college are still here. I kind of came at it suspiciously like, “That’s right Mr. Scott, there are so many things we need to bring back and I’m going to think of them.” But then I thought: there’s still the DC, the SCI, etc. There are a couple things I’d throw out there: film club (which is in a slump but might be coming back this year)…oh, what about adding a film class? I hadn’t thought of that, but that would be 4 October 12, 2023 something I might seriously consider because I’m one of those crazy people who thinks there are great films [His list of great films later included: Tokyo Story, Ran, The Night of the Hunter, Nights of Cabiria, The Four Hundred Blows]. Anyway, the sophistry contest, do you know about that?, So back in the day as part of the Reality games there would be a sophistry contest, and it would often be between tutors. A question would be proposed, the one I recall being, ‘Is Pindar right that water is best? Or maybe it was, ‘Is a dry soul or a wet soul best?’ and then the two people would have to argue the question with great seriousness and erudition. But what is the spirit of the tradition I’d like to see come back? Something like the alternation between seriousness and mirth. I know that’s still present, but it’s something I want to make sure we hold onto, cultivate it. I remember it from being a student, you know what I mean? One day you’re in Rome, the next day it’s carnival. Also, guerilla seminars. Now it’s true that that phrase is still in use at the college, but when I was a student it was strongly held that if the tutor didn’t show up, class would still be held. It’s your class. Our second Politics seminar there was a huge snowstorm and we, as a class, decided to have seminar. Not just our particular seminar, but any freshman who wanted to could come to this seminar. CouldÊtheÊJohnniesÊofÊthisÊgeneration,ÊtwoÊofÊthemÊ ofÊ theÊ strongestÊ sort,Ê lift,Ê withÊ greatÊ difficulty,Ê aÊ boulderÊthatÊoneÊfromÊ yourÊgenerationÊcouldÊheftÊ withÊease? Yes. I’ve seen it. To answer that in a serious vein, when I returned to interview [at the College] eleven years ago, I was asked if I had any questions myself, and I asked: how are the students different now? And the answer was: though very little at the college has changed, more has changed in the program than in the type of student who comes here. [There will be a later BS article on our ensuing dispute about whether Johnnie typologies actually exist.] IsÊSJCÊtooÊencompassingÊforÊsomeÊpeople? Yes. I often find myself in the somewhat ironic position of encouraging people to think beyond the College. Having been away from it, having come to love so many other worlds within our larger world, I am very ready to encourage people to find what is beyond it. Something happens to a lot of seniors and recent graduates; they think: “If I specify my area of �λόγος THE GADFLY study, I will betray the college and I will narrow myself as a human being.” And it turns out somehow the opposite is true. By accepting some form of life or study, you move beyond the College into the larger world. I want students to feel like they’re expanding when they leave. I have no credibility when I say that because I’m an alum who’s come back, but I do hope people think I have arguments for it. I’ve participated in other traditions of learning. And I’ve taken up a vocation. In one way, it’s true that what the tutors and students are doing in the classroom is the same, that’s a fundamental principle of the college, but it’s also true that the tutors have a vocation that the students don’t. WhatÊ bookÊ wereÊ youÊ annoyinglyÊ attachedÊ toÊ asÊ aÊ student? [Minutes were spent thinking on this question in silence.] I was probably the Johnnie who would just incessantly bring up Aristotle in seminar with complete honesty and genuineness, and say, ‘Actually, Aristotle says in On the Soul…’ and expect everyone to thank me for that helpful reference. WhatÊ story/legend/fableÊ fromÊ yourÊ timeÊ asÊ aÊ studentÊneedsÊtoÊbeÊrevived? Sometimes the stories are the character of the person. It seems to me there were a lot of characters that were part of the legendarium when I was a student and one of them was Chaninah Maschler. She was German and then Dutch and had survived the war and become an American citizen. She was quite deaf by the time I knew her and [was] a titanic intellect, which she did not shy away from wielding, even on those who could not handle her intense questions. I will never forget her sitting at the table during question period and pounding the table with her fist and destroying a visiting lecturer because he had given a bad argument and it was intolerable to her that it should be allowed to stand. The room was packed, we were all titillated, and I thought this was the most amazing thing. But what has mattered in retrospect was not her pounding the table but seeing someone who cared so deeply about correct language. HasÊ theÊ aestheticÊ lossÊ ofÊ smokingÊ inÊ classÊ andÊ acrossÊcampusÊweighedÊonÊyou? Yes. [Eight second pause before the interviewer can no longer hold laughter in.] Thank you, thank you Mr. Scott, let’s leave it at that. YouÊheldÊfiresideÊchatsÊthroughoutÊlastÊyearÊinÊtheÊ October 12, 2023 coffeeÊ shopÊ inÊ McDowell,Ê aÊ buildingÊ knownÊ primarilyÊforÊhavingÊburnedÊdown.ÊAreÊyouÊaÊmanÊ ofÊirony? Mr. Scott, I am a man of irony, but I never considered the great danger that I brought the college into. No. That never occurred to me. I do often think of McDowell burning down because one of the central things I’ve thought about in my life is Athens burning down, and, as someone who likes to think about disaster, I often imagine what it would be like if the tulip poplar on front campus fell. I don’t know if I’d be able to live through that. That’s going to be a terrible moment. And I certainly did not think about that with the fireside chats. The fireplace does not work very well and does fill the coffeeshop with smoke, rather ominously, so I am chastened. McDowell Hall a er the Fire of 1909, St. John's College Annapolis, Maryland InÊtheÊsameÊvein,ÊwouldÊyouÊconsiderÊtheÊHermanÊ T.ÊWootersÊMemorialÊIceÊSkatingÊRink? The what? HermanÊ T.Ê WootersÊ MemorialÊ IceÊ SkatingÊ Rink,Ê theÊmanÊwithÊtheÊplaqueÊinÊtheÊboathouseÊwhoÊfellÊ inÊtheÊcreekÊandÊdrowned. That is an incredibly bad joke Mr. Scott. ThankÊyou. That poor man. No, I have often, as a lover of Tristram Shandy and the sentimental, I have often looked on that plaque with some sadness and a little bit of a smile, but mostly sadness. But that plaque had better stay up. One of my little projects is making sure the memorial plaques from the FSK lobby go back up. [Pause.] Herman T. Wooters. 5 �λόγος THE GADFLY WhichÊ StÊ JohnÊ doÊ youÊ thinkÊ we’reÊ namedÊ after?Ê [There are 101 Saints John.] It seems right that it would be John the Baptist because we’re about beginnings. October 12, 2023 than I have that there’s an ethical aspect to what we do at the college. But I think there’s also a place for saying what we don’t do. The college is involved in the process of becoming a good adult. I’m hesitant to say that we’re teaching people how to be good. We’re mostly about beginnings, not ends, not ethics. HowÊdoÊweÊmakeÊSJCÊmoreÊunethical? We could care about grades more and more. It would eat the endeavor from the inside out. Maybe get rid of grades. Say to the outside world, “We meant it when we said we didn’t care about these.” The only reason we haven’t done that is we care about our graduates. [A discussion ensues which leads us to a simple conclusion: GPAs at SJC ought to be given in the form of complex numbers or existing in nonEuclidean space.] Students Standing by the "St. John's College Founded 1696 as King William's School" Sign on College Avenue DoÊyouÊthinkÊSJCÊcanÊclaimÊtoÊhaveÊtrulyÊstartedÊ inÊ 1696,Ê orÊ isÊ thisÊ aÊ shipÊ ofÊ TheseusÊ thatÊ we’reÊ drowningÊon? Well, it’s definitely a ship of Theseus. I wish we talked more about the founding of the new college. That is our college. That is the water we swim in. I want to honor that this institution has existed since 1696, but my college was the one founded by Barr and Buchannan and reformed by Jacob Klein. I wish we talked more about that. See? As I said, there’s more than one beginning. [Mr. Abbott spent the next minute threatening to destroy the transcript of this interview; things were going well.] ShouldÊSJCÊbeÊanÊethicalÊendeavor? That’s a really serious question. I am on the side of saying no for two reasons: I believe in its aim it should not be an ethical endeavor; I also don’t think it’s good for us to say it’s an ethical endeavor. Many tutors whom I love and respect have expressed better 6 HowÊemotionalÊshouldÊweÊgetÊwhenÊreading? Pretty emotional. I think that the word sentiment is one way to talk about the connection between thought and feeling. I don’t think there’s a hard division. When you’re reading a book, you’re feeling certain things about it. Feel hard, if you can. How do you read a poem without feeling? In class, you feel longing for something, you don’t even know what it is. I’ve run into more students who say “I hate Don Quixote” rather than that they feel something about it. It absolutely seems like a part of a seminar. What’sÊyourÊfavoriteÊquestion? “Why is there something rather than nothing?” I understand it’s not the most interesting question because it doesn’t really go anywhere, but I like what it does to me when I think it. DoesÊtheÊhatÊhaveÊaÊname? No! Maybe it should. [The interviewer will be collecting a list of potential names, please email me with options to petition Mr. Abbott with.] What? τί ἐστι. That’s my answer. ThankÊyouÊforÊyourÊtime. Oh Mr. Scott. After our interview finished, Mr. Abbott promptly compared being interviewed to being tortured and wondered how he was going to work through the trauma of this experience (forcing his friends to listen to his agonies over dinner and then an intensive therapy session was the decision we came to). �λόγος THE GADFLY October 12, 2023 Club Spotlight: Historia By Tamar Pinsky St. John’s College has several publications such as Energeia (a literary and arts magazine), the Gadfly (which if you haven’t realized yet, is a newspaper), and 814 Magazine (which publishes photography.) There used to be Historia as well, but it became inactive—not anymore! Georgia Green, a junior, as well as writing assistant, has started this academic magazine back up again. You finally have a place to send in all those essays you write for class (or essays you wrote not for class)! WhatÊisÊHistoria? Historia was a publication of essays and other inquiries that existed as St. John’s for some time but fell apart in 2019 due to the Covid pandemic. This year I am bringing it back as a journal with a focus on long-form essays. HowÊdidÊyouÊdecideÊtoÊrestartÊHistoria? I was thinking about all the essays I read as a writing assistant, and it made me sad that other people do not get an opportunity to read all the great writing that we do here. I thought it would be fun to have a publication for people to show off their good work, whether that be essays written for tutorials or for pleasure. HowÊdoesÊitÊwork? We will open the submissions soon, and there will be guidelines sent out alongside. It will work similarly to Energeia – where you send your work to the Female Student Typing on a Typewriter in her Dormitory Room editors—and then it goes through an editing process. We hope to publish as many essays as possible. WhoÊisÊtheÊarchon? I (Georgia Green) am the archon, and Luke Briner is the vice archon. There will be staff consisting of contributors and/or people who have expressed desire to be editors or layout editors. WhatÊkindÊofÊJohnniesÊareÊyouÊlookingÊfor? Anyone who is excited about writing! Anyone whose essays show that they have put thought into their work. Or if you just want to edit or do layout, that is welcome as well. I know it is hard to be passionate about writing when you are forced to do it for class, but hopefully Historia will provide a space where you can find fun in the form of writing. HowÊoftenÊwillÊthereÊbeÊHistoriaÊpublications? We are planning to have two publications per year— one for each semester. The first should be out before winter break, and the second one before the end of the year, close to graduation. AnyÊlastÊwords? Look out for our email about submissions! I really encourage people to submit essays even if they are not your best work – we just want to hear your ideas. Also, if you are interested in editing or layout please reach out to gsgreen@sjc.edu! Robert F. Vincent Studying at a Large Table with Books, St. John's College 7 �λόγος THE GADFLY October 12, 2023 Shaking Down Le ism at St John’s College By B.S. S t. John’s College is the mecca of liberal arts; our courses are diverse and our student body is trying to be, all in service of some ‘liberation.’ But what of the conservative arts? Where is the degree for budding young hardliners in support of weed being schedule 1 and Ronald Reagan never having done anything wrong; where is the degree which cares about facts, not feelings; where is the degree my uncle from rural Michigan wants me to have? Of course, you might argue: “But we actually engage with a great deal of what’s considered the tradition of conservatism: Adam Smith, religious values, all of two women.” Or you might say: “But this is an apolitical school! There’s no place for explicit agendas in our hallowed halls.” To both of you I say: goddamn liberals. I will not be intimidated by your critical and theoretical views. If this college won’t give it to me, I’m gonna get my red-blooded all-American experience the truly conservative way: handshakes and controversy. And where better to do it than the most disgustingly freethinking event of the year: the BLT party (Standing for: Black tie for self respecting individuals with values; Lingerie for the corrupted youth; and Togas for whatever weird Greek influence Percy Jackson had on this generation). My first handshake of the night was before we even left the apartment: Benjamin Raymor Maier, my roommate. He was dressed like the worst man in Las Vegas, neck and collarbones and a little bit of chest out too. I might have judged him edging on lingerie showing that much skin, but as soon as I shook his hand I knew: this is a black tie man, this is a politician of the grand old ways, his elbow at a perfect ninety degrees, giving a strong pull in and a pat on the arm. By God, I’d vote for him and his invasions. When asked, midshake, who the worst deity was he said: “Xenu. The bad guy’s bad guy of Scientology.” With that, we departed. On our way to the cesspool, I happened upon our old friend, Helen Felbek, Madam President of the Delegate Council. Her shake was a bit soft, very sober, and a little too tall (which has nothing to do with my own height or insecurities). When asked what the worst part about America is she said, “Americans” and tried to laugh it off as if it were a joke, as if she wasn’t getting the privilege of living in the greatest 8 country on earth, God bless us. The only good thing I can say was that her outfit showed none of this licentious ardor so common to European youth. From my disappointing encounter with “our” president, we turned into a back alley clearly labeled ‘No freshmen or sophomores,’ a requirement which I could get behind: keep ‘em out, what do they know of our way of life? The music was tolerable and the lighting was dark. Frankly, I felt threatened knowing such alleys exist in my good community. But I swallowed my worries for now and got to work shaking hands. Ian Glueckert was dressed like an intern at a real estate agent’s retirement party and shook my hand the entire time we talked, but at least his answer to ‘What’s the worst element’ (insincerity) was passable. James Dormer, on the other hand (it was actually the same hand), is a man who knows the right number of pumps: not too much, with a good rhythm as he told me about how we should outlaw mullets. Ranna Kisswani—a woman who knows how to rig elections—had a strong hand and a strong shake, a strength of conviction supporting her belief that we ought to annex Canada (this view got her broken up with once). The worst thing Joshua Tague has ever been described as is ‘A Gentleman’ and he’s got the facial hair for it. John Teague made me feel like I was being welcomed into some secret lodge with a pull-in shake and the promise that “You want to change but what’s always changing is you.” Carter Brown was all positive vibes: asked if his hand might be shaken, he said “For you, of course,” and proceeded to tell me every detail about his life. This is where things went downhill. Tait Geijer, with all his eight extra years of life on most of the people he was surrounded by, could shake a god given hand with that wide palm, but I still don’t trust him (he said he’s never had a bad date). Logan Arendt shook my hand twice, once weakly, once strongly, while trying to justify it by being “distracted” (what kind of man’s man gets distracted when confronted with the most important thing this side of defending his country: a handshake?). Catherine Row had no tension in her wrist (am I a god damn royalist meant to kiss your hand?) and found absolutely no sexual tension in language class. Bridget Mace was dressed in a way that would have made my grandfather—a veteran, �λόγος THE GADFLY mind you—wonder whether fighting on the beaches had been worth it, and only emphasized her unamericanness when asked “What’s the worst place” by answering “Cairo, Illinois.” Allyson Brink looked me dead in the eyes and said: “Jesus? Not for me” and smiled with too much enthusiasm (this is a woman who prefers the company of addicts to that of God!). My night had started as an up and down sort of thing, but by this point, I was floundering and so too was the country I love: is this what we had come to? No one except me even saluted when the cops came to tell us to quiet down. There was ass and alcohol on all sides (neither attached to any particular persons because none of this counts as slander and, though committed to the bit, I am not a snitch). I saw the world spinning, felt my hand tingling, and in my ears was ringing. Were these not the people who had read scripture? Aquinas! Augustine! Aristotle! Would they approve of this? Where had it all gone? I had come in October 12, 2023 pursuit of patriots and had let them all slip through my fingers. I looked around and all I saw were hands with cigarettes, with bottles of booze, clasping at each other and not in a handshaking and god fearing manner, no, clasping in a sexual manner! The music was drowned out by laughter and screaming. What could I do but run? Run out into the dangerous streets of Annapolis, all on my own, fleeing for my life, my virtue! As I stumbled out of that accursed place I saw those signs on the wall and I knew, I knew all at once: No freshmen. No sophomores. No freshmen. No sophomores. It was junior year that corrupted people. It was being enabled! Enabled into the cult of satanism and baby eating! The corruption of calculus. Of French. Of natural laws! My dear underclassmen readers, flee, flee while you still can: save your hand for shaking, not the devil’s work of vanishingly small love triangles. And for all those lost to the corruption: you have my thoughts and my prayers. “All Handshaking is Entirely Platonic” (Plato photo credit: Britannica; artistic credit: BS) 9 �THE GADFLY λόγος October 12, 2023 Club Spotlight: The Platypus Affiliated Society By Tamar Pinsky You already do plenty of reading here at St. John’s, but have you considered doing more? There’s a new reading group this year, a chapter of the Platypus Affiliated Society, that is a great place to learn about the Left and Marxism from a non-authoritative lens. Come have discussions with your peers, whether you have previous experience with the subject matter, like archon Benjamin Kay does, or not at all—either way your presence is appreciated. WhatÊisÊtheÊPlatypusÊreadingÊgroup? That is a more complex question than you might think. I didn’t come up with it—we are connected to a larger organization which has chapters at many university campuses across the US, as well as some in Germany and Austria. this can be real, I’ve read my Darwin! This is ridiculous!” Then one day he went to a zoo in London, and he found himself proven wrong by a platypus there. Just as Engels felt failed by Darwin, the Platypus reading group is about adjusting your approach when your schemas for understanding the world around you fail you, as they often did in the history of Leftism. WhatÊdoesÊtheÊreadingÊlistÊlookÊlike? We are reading what Marx read and what he responded to, so a lot of Enlightenment era works. Right now we are reading Kant. HowÊdidÊtheÊPlatypusÊorganizationÊstart? WhatÊsortÊofÊJohnniesÊareÊyouÊlookingÊfor?ÊHow’sÊ theÊgroupÊgoing? It started back in 2006, in response to questions like “why does the Left seem so incoherent?” They are not overly utopian or political, rather their approach involves going through the narrative of how people understood the Left throughout history. Obviously this is not going to appeal to everyone— with the extra reading and a couple of hours on your Saturdays. It is best when there is a consistent group of people so the conversations can continue each week, which we have been having. HowÊdidÊyouÊbecomeÊinvolvedÊwithÊthisÊsociety? WhoÊ isÊ theÊ archon?Ê WhenÊ andÊ whereÊ areÊ theÊ meetings? Last year, someone put up a poster about the Platypus reading group at Georgetown, DC. It turned out that it was Christian Cameler, the partner of a tutor at St. Johns, Ms. Picker. I drove with Mr. Cameler to the reading group on weekends. WhyÊisÊitÊcalledÊPlatypus? Some universities will have groups with very serious sounding names – not to say that the Platypus group is not serious, rather, the silly name is representative of the fact that we are not trying to give a dogmatic approach. There is an actual funny story behind the Platypus name as well. In the nineteenth century, Friedrich Engels, Karl Marx’s collaborator, read in the newspaper about a new animal discovered in Australia, the platypus. He thought, “there is no way 10 I (Benjamin Kay) am the archon. Email me at bhkay@sjc.edu if you have any questions. We meet in McDowell 31, from 2:30-1:00 on Saturdays. AnyÊlastÊwords? If you have any interest, you should show up! There is no expectation that you have any prior knowledge. We are planning on having a guest lecturer soon, so look out for that. We are also going to have some film screenings like the French-German movie from a couple years ago called The Young Karl Marx and other biopics, if you would rather not work more reading into your schedule. �συμπόσιον THE GADFLY October 12, 2023 Freedom, Responsibility, and the Liberal Arts By Stringfellow Barr Pictured at right: the modern St. John’s College logo/seal, adopted in 1937. → EDITOR’S NOTE: “Freedom, Responsibility, and the Liberal Arts” was a lecture delivered by Stringfellow Barr in 1938 —at the dawn of our Program as we know it today. This lecture was later produced in the Gadfly in 1981—the paper’s second-ever year at the College—and is produced again here now. -LB T he other day an interesting and curious gift arrived at St. John’s College. It was a design in the form of a circular seal, and it was the work of a Harvard man who admires the educational program which this College has undertaken and who chose to express his admiration by designing this symbolic seal. In the center of the seal is a pair of scales, or balances. Around it in a circle are placed seven open books, representing the seven liberal arts. And around the open volumes is lettered the motto, FACIO LIBEROS EX LIBERIS LIBRIS LIBRAQUE. I suppose the motto may be fairly translated: “I make free men out of boys by means of books and balances.” The punning on the stem of the Latin word for free is a serviceable pun now that liberal education is confronted with a world-wide decline of liberalism. Like most liberals today, I am disturbed by the rise in many parts of the world of government by violence as a substitute for government by reason and consent. But unlike most liberals I know, I am much less disturbed by the overthrow of free government in states that were once democratic than I am by the confusion of the liberal mind in states like ours which are still technically free. You may argue that confusion in the liberal mind disturbs me because I know that such confusion is normally followed by the overthrow of free government. I agree that this is what normally happens; but even if you could assure me that “it can’t happen here,” I should still be disturbed by the present state of liberalism. Because I agree with those who founded our Republic that what they and we have called free institutions cannot alone and of themselves make men truly free. Free institutions are a means to an end, not an end in themselves. The end is the freedom of individual men and women. The real meaning of liberalism lies in the fact that man possesses free will, and that he is really and fully human only when that will is freely exercised. Because he possesses free will, he has the power to choose, to decide. You can prevent my exercising of my free will, so far as politics is concerned, by a number of methods. You can seize the government and close the polls. Or you can keep the polls ostentatiously open, and post armed men at them to see that I vote Ja in any plebiscite you hold. Or you can tell me to vote as I like but that I will lose my job if the wrong man wins. Or you can refrain from threatening my livelihood but see that I am kept misinformed through a censored press, so that I will “freely” choose the things you want me to choose. Or you can let me have all the information I want but see to it that my education is so defective that I lack the intellectual capacity to interpret the information when I get it. The last method would be the subtlest. For I can lose the freedom of my will just as surely through ignorance as through being sent to a concentration camp, and I shall have the added disadvantage of not knowing I have lost it. Don’t misunderstand me: Concentration camps are not merely disagreeable; they are a genuine check on the freedom of the will; they genuinely close out certain choices. All I am saying is that keeping out of concentration camps is not necessarily achieving freedom. Neither is having access to an uncensored press. Neither is having the rights of free speech and free assembly. These things merely widen the choices a free will may make if that will has learned to use and follow reason. It is 11 �συμπόσιον THE GADFLY because of these distinctions that the founding fathers of this republic insisted on the necessity of liberal education. The daily papers suggest that Hitler and Mussolini [this lecture was delivered in 1938] are doing most of the choosing, most of the deciding, most of the willing these days. The day’s news suggests that liberal democracies are paralyzed. If they are, it is because we twentieth-century liberals have missed the point of our own faith. We have slithered into the belief that liberty meant being left alone, and nothing else. We have come to no longer distinguish between authority and tyranny. We have forgotten that the mind that denies the authority of reason falls under the tyranny of caprice. We have forgotten that he who will not answer to the rudder must answer to the rock. We have therefore allowed totalitarian dictators to take out a copyright on words like authority and discipline, although their tyranny is a caricature of authority and their terrorism is a caricature of discipline. It is high time that those Americans who value liberalism should restate their faith in it, not negatively as we so often do these days, but positively; that we freely and gladly assume the responsibilities of liberty as well as its privileges. For though most liberals today are soft, there is nothing soft about liberalism. I spoke in one of these radio talks of the famous funeral oration which Pericles made over the Athenian dead. At a crucial point in that oration, Pericles boasts of the relationship between the free Athenian and the laws he made and lived by. Last month I asked a New Program student [the New Program—our Program—was introduced in 1937] to reduce this paragraph to a single sentence, and this is what I got: “We reverence the laws and the laws respect us.” I think he did a good job. Pericles was proud of Athenian freedom and insisted it was worth dying for. Our ancestors shared that pride and that insistence. But they and he were proud, not of the absence of discipline or authority, but of the fact that in a society of free citizens discipline and authority are self-imposed. I too should insist they were worth dying for. But I should not want to die for an external discipline imposed on me by tyranny; nor should I want to die for the right to be without any discipline at all. We liberals have erred, I suspect, through asking too little. We have asked for what animals and small children want, but not what free men and women require. We have shouted hysterically for 12 October 12, 2023 freedom of speech, a free press, and free assembly, while one by one these freedoms have disappeared in one modern state after another. And we have asked ourselves fearfully whether we too would lose these freedoms. But we have not demanded, as our ancestors did, both for themselves and their children, a mind free from ignorance, an awakened imagination, and a disciplined reason, without which we cannot effectually use our other freedoms or even preserve them. We have demanded, quite properly, the right to make our own mistakes, but we have not demanded the capacities that would enable us to understand our mistakes when we have made them. I think this Harvard friend of ours, who has tried to express his conception of what St. John’s College stands for today, has stated something essential for you and me to understand, not merely because you and I belong to the College which this seal of his celebrates, but because you and I, like him, are free American citizens. I am sorry my translation of the motto he has furnished is so dull: “I make free men out of boys by means of books and balances.” I have lost the magnificent Latin punning: FACIO LIBEROS EX LIBERIS LIBRIS LIBRAQUE. These strong Latin words remind us of words the Latins gave us. For we liberals cannot exercise our liberties without knowing how to deliberate. Without that power, we are children. Fortunately, there are books that record for us the deliberations of men who outgrew childhood, who knew how to weigh, to balance choices, to decide. These books are models of analysis, in which issues are clarified, so that real choices, deliberate choices, can be made. They propound and propose alternative solutions to problems that are still with us under different guise. And the different books state alternative issues against each other. And there are not books alone to help us. There are balances. Balances and other laboratory instruments which teach us to measure, to compare, to discriminate, to combine, to understand. The liberal arts, the intellectual arts that liberate the mind, operating through these same books and these same balances, liberalized and humanized our fathers, and their fathers before them. They can liberate our children too. They can make free men out of our children, teach them to live in a liberal democracy, and to make real choices, after due deliberation. Then our children would understand liberalism, where our own sloth and incomprehension have left it languid, vulnerable, irrational, and therefore hysterical. �πόλις THE GADFLY October 12, 2023 How to Survive the Dining Hall in 13 Easy Steps By Anonymous 1. Don’t fall into the trap of eating the only thing that looks good (e.g., a hot dog) every day. Vegetables are important! 2. Speaking of vegetables, however, avoid the squash. Best get veggies from the salad bar. 3. But be careful regarding the salad bar! Sometimes items will be rotten. Also, there’s plenty of cross contamination; if you have an allergy, beware. 4. For non-salad bar items as well, be very careful if you have an allergy. (Speaking from anonymous personal experience! Unless you need an excuse to skip seminar.) 5. If you don’t have an allergy, but still have dietary restrictions, make sure to check out the vegan and gluten free mini fridges. There’s also a kimchi mini fridge, by the way, if you need more spice in your life. 9. And the effort they put into desserts is admirable. You can always count on the vegan desserts to be good, as well as the ice cream (not vegan, sadly), and the fries (not dessert, technically). 10. You can also always count on the juices to be good—not the coffee, though. 11. Speaking of coffee, there’s also the coffee shop as a nice option if you are not feeling the dining hall. The prices are pretty good—and there’s also pick-3. 12. Or if you are feeling the dining hall but not the loudness of your fellow Johnnies, there are greenies so you can take food out. 13. Or, you know, you could just go to Chipotle... 6. Condiments are another way to add some spice to your food. Don’t be afraid to steal the ketchup from another table. (Though make sure to ask politely first.) 7. Be polite to the staff as well! “Appreciate the fuck out of Chucky!” And don’t use your hands instead of tongs, or put buttered toast in the toaster, unless you’d like to get scolded. 8. Also don’t use the cups for anything other than drinks—but speaking of cups, isn’t it great that they use sustainable ones? And that they recycle and compost! Students Eating in the Randall Hall Dining Hall with Bow-Tie Waiters 13 �πόλις THE GADFLY October 12, 2023 Why Waltz? By Vivian Miyakawa “Grapes, cheese, crackers… anything else?” “Apples!” my roommate exclaims as I quickly jot down her requests in my Notes app. After taking her order, I whirl around to fix my lip gloss in the mirror and blow a kiss goodbye as I skip out the door. Ziplock bag in hand and dressed to perfection, I am headed to another St. John’s College waltz. On my way there, I run into some friends. Amidst of our flurry of compliments, I’m asked if I plan to dance the night away. Jokingly, I crack a smile and hold up my bags. “My roommate says I’m not allowed to dance until I bring her back some snacks.” Giggling ensues as they immediately comprehend the importance of my mission. Rushing through the doors, I meet a friend working the snack table and let her grab me “fresh snacks” from underneath the table. I take a small amount of each offering and shove it in the Ziplock. The music swells in the background as I gaze upon the delicacies before me. Babybel cheese, mini croissants, Ferrero Rocher chocolate—yes, we are truly living the high life. Waltz Party, A View from the Balcony in the Great Hall of McDowell Hall 14 Three Students Seated with Bowls of Food Proud of my foraging victory, I rush back up the stairs of my dorm and hand the food over to my roommate, who is working diligently on an essay. Once I’ve made my way back to the waltz, I am ready to do some dancing. I grab a partner, put on a smile, and let myself get lost in the music. I try to recall my Tuesday waltz lessons, and count steps in my head. I’m a bit of a clumsy dancer, but I have so much fun every time. After twirling across the dance floor for a few songs, another friend elbows me in the side. “How come you haven’t been dancing this whole time?” We laugh together for a moment, then I find my way back to the snack table once more, where the same people who had just witnessed me shoving copious amounts of chocolate and cheese into my bag are still deep in conversation. Eventually, I head up the stairs and lean against the balcony, watching the dancers from above. I look around to see alumni couples holding on to each other, perhaps reminiscing on their own time at these waltzes. Smiling to myself, I think about the sheer number of reasons people have for attending the waltzes. From snacks, to conversation, to dancing, or even just being an observer in the moment, there really is something for everyone to enjoy. �πόλις THE GADFLY October 12, 2023 The SJC Mystery #2: Location, Location, Location By Benne “Worked in Real Estate for One Summer” Sco I n my pursuit of the stone’s meaning, I’ve garnered plenty of theories: it’s a freemason symbol; it’s an astrological sign; it’s an Icelandic rune. I have gone so far as making my first Facebook post (ever) and got responses including: it might be an ornamental version of 羊 (yang), meaning goat in Mandarin (this was quickly rejected by the next comment); it might be Ij-H-C, someone’s initials in the Dutch alphabet; it might be the logo of a Greek house (a naval academy hit piece?); it might be Sintic or Mongol or Ogham script; it might be a stone mason’s mark, though a little bit elaborate; it might just be the shape of a stick shift. Some people shrug and say it’s just a prank. Some people look at me with genuine fear and make me promise never to take it off campus. My life rule from the last article (don’t do anything that would start a horror movie) might be said to have a parallel, but stronger postulate about the world at large: All bad vibes converge. So how do you find out about the accursed stone? Pursue all other sources of discomfort, dislike, and disgust and eventually you’ll find something related. Luckily, if there’s one thing this college excels at, it’s spooky locations. Since you and I are such good friends my dear reader, I figure I ought to take you on a little tour of some of my favorites: Under Pub Safe: If you happen to need a break from talking with the wonderful folks at public safety (the only people who know more about badvibe locals on this campus than I), just step out that door, take a quick right and then another and there Examining the stone itself more has only made things worse. It’s made of the same stone as used in parts of McDowell and all across the quad. It doesn’t fit perfectly into its hole; instead, it has roughly hewn sides but a perfectly flat bottom. The symbol is carved almost too perfectly in comparison to the slipshod jaggedness of the edges. I sat (during a party, music and voices blasting) staring at it and realized: some of the tiles of this type are smooth, some are rough. The tile that the stone is in is a perfectly smooth tile. The stone itself, though, has a rough top. So was the stone cut out from a separate tile and then put into this one? Who would put it there? Is it intentionally ambiguous? I can’t find dates; I can’t find reasons; all I can find are more and more ambiguous pieces of information. You see the problem? I’ve got a lot of theories, but no hard evidence. So I did what any good (para?)normal Trees by the Side of Pinkney Hall, St. John's College, Annapolis, Maryland investigator does: went entirely off the rails. 15 �πόλις THE GADFLY you go: a storm cellar door. This one requires a little bit of work to open and close, but once you’ve waded your way into the darkness, you’ll be swallowed up in the sort of shadow where you know there are walls nearby, just not exactly where. The unfortunate thing is that you’ll find (with the help of a flashlight or some simple flailing around) a lightswitch. Turn it on and surprise: it’s literally just a room with pipes. Not that exciting and a little too risky for my tastes. The Pit: Is this one scary? Kind of? More just disgusting. Imagine me (wait no imagine me a little taller than that I promise I’m 6 feet tall) and my roommate, two Western boys in an East coast world, headed to the gym. Just outside of the entrance is a rectangle of bricks with a sheet of rusted metal on top. If anything says “Two 20 year old boys are going to be curious about me,” this screamed it. So I took the tetanus risk and lifted the sheet. Light barely cuts across one side of the hole at a shallow angle, leaving all else black. There’s water running some ten or fifteen feet below. My roommate points his phone down the hole and turns on the flashlight. Roaches. A hundred of them. At least. They all run towards the bottom of the hole and you can hear it, the ghastly bug on bag stampeding. I promptly say “Fuck that” and put the top back on. We moved on with our lives, doing our best not to have nightmares. I checked the pit again recently and found no roaches. I don’t want to know where they all went. Under Mellon: Now for the place I hate more than anywhere else in the world! Under Mellon (down a not very well hidden stairway), there’s a door. According to you and public safety, I’ve never opened that door and never will, but if it just so happened to be open one night, you would most certainly find the heebee-jeebee-est spot on campus. I opened the door and knew one thing: this space is bigger. Much bigger than all the others. So big that any light I used was swallowed up, leaving me in a half formed hall of concrete and dusk. The first thing 16 October 12, 2023 you see upon entering are chairs, stacked upside down and right side up and every other direction, all brown and black and tan and most certainly hiding something on the far side. There are pianos too, perfect for playing single, unexplained notes. The floors and walls are unchanging grey and the ceiling is all pipes. Reality does not have a heavy hold on this place; there’s always something there, just out of reach. But it’s not just the long hallway: there are attached rooms and a doorway that breaks up the space. There is no way to see everything around you, no way to look around every corner. All you can do is venture deeper into the deep, deep dark. Honorable mention: The random door from Gilliam that leads to a one story drop? Classic. Under the Yellow House: The yellow house on the Southwest side of campus is all dissonance: why, amongst the tall brick walls aspiring to colonial grandeur, is there this little prairie home with its wood sides and white trim? I’ve never been inside. I’ve never seen anyone come in or out. It’s supposedly the alumni house. All that matters to me is that, on the parking lot side, there is yet another storm cellar door. And you won’t believe what I found there (am I getting better at this clickbaiting stuff?). Check out the video for a bad vibes compilation and a special discovery (I’m laughing, aren’t you?): �πόλις THE GADFLY October 12, 2023 Swish: Motion of Fish By Ella Jacky Moss, rocks, tank, fish Tranquil, serene, fins that swish Sleek, shine, sway, flow Everchanging, moving slow Fins, rotate, fore, rear Swirling in a cyclic sphere Down, push, up, swoop Never-ending eight-shaped loop In flux, gills pulse Contract, expand, now convulse Fins slip, skim, swim, Spinning over, now again All times, shift, change Yet ever same; wonder strange Motion quick and motion slow Fish in constant ebb and flow Fins, sheer, sheen, thin Twirling gently, sudden whenTail shift, now flick Fluid, flashing, turning quick Arched bend, left, right Swift through water, swimming flight Beats pulse through spine Even rhythm, keeping time Waves bend, move, shift Lilting meter, cadence swift Swish, slip, dart, slide To a corner, buggy eyed, Peer out, eyes shift Goggling, staring, rhythmic drift Swirl, fins, front, back Jaw is gaping, mouth is slack A Tree and the Dock on College Creek, Annapolis, Maryland 17 �πόλις THE GADFLY The Rose By Kurtis Bleakley How Tender is The sweetness there, The fragrance of a rose, Lasting for a moment, Inhaled through the nose How precious that I, and I alone, In a hair’s breadth of time, Can take unto myself this eternal beauty. What wonder you are, flower! Delight to the eye and the breath, Would that you could last forever, With your fragrance of a rose I wish for a love like you, sweet flower, A delightful love, A love to capture world entire in its embrace, A love to make beauty become all things. And a love to make the godly and the beautiful a wondrous union, And love that loves all love, and all loving and lovely things therein, But I already have that, Because of this moment and that fragrance of a rose. 18 October 12, 2023 Noodles 02: “The Overly Optimistic Crosswalk Bu on” By Tamar Pinsky �λόγος THE GADFLY October 12, 2023 Eva Brann, circa 1986 A special colloquy was organized honoring the now-retired icon of St. John’s College. 19 �THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, staff, and alumni of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and thought provoking newsmagazine. Submissions sent to the Gadfly should either be in Google Docs or JPEG format. The deadline for Pictured: The Gadfly Office (Photo by Luke Briner) submissions is the Friday prior to publication. For more information, contact us via email at lbriner@sjc.edu. 60 COLLEGE AVENUE ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 Images without a listed source are from the St. John's College Digital Archives. St. John's College owns the rights to these photographs. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 20 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XLV, Issue 2 Description An account of the resource Volume XLI, Issue 2 of The Gadfly. Published October 12, 2023. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Briner, Luke (Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2023-10-12 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource College students' writings--Periodicals College student newspapers and periodicals St. John's College--Periodicals Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly Vol XLV Issue 2 Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/4ac62b34df01ae0e0342f9e394f97747.pdf 08b824431067d704198fa2a71d27c374 PDF Text Text THE St. John’s College Annapolis, Maryland GADFLY Common Ground November 2, 2023 Vol. XLV, Issue 3 �CONTENTS λόγος : news reports & narratives regarding immediate campus life An Interview With Mr. Bellinson & Mr. Kerimov by El’ad Kaufman-Nichols 3 THE GADFLY STAFF COVER Kunai, a History by Tamar Pinsky 10 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Carlson, God of Donuts and Thai Food by Bennett Scott, with Audrey Fox 12 MANAGING EDITOR συμπόσιονÊ:Êcontrasting opinions on various topics for thought Ungo by Nicky Jordan 13 An Attempted System of Operational Proofs for Four Transfinite Equations by Luke Briner 17 STAFF Abigail Poppleton Luke Briner El’ad NicholsKaufman Meliha Anthony Vivian Miyakawa Tamar Pinsky Louis Rosenberg πόλιςÊ:Êvoices of the community, including poetry, cartoons, etc. Benne Sco Noodles: “A Cannibalistic Chef’s Dilemma” by Tamar Pinsky 19 Don’t Meet Your Wife At St. John’s College by Ben Maier 20 Should Men Have Friends? by B.S. 22 Notes on Dialogue Gossip by Vivian Miyakawa 24 Ben Maier SJC Mystery #3: Could Have Gone Better by Bennett Scott 25 art i guess by Natalie Goldman 26 Natalie Goldman Translation of Baudelaire’s “Élévation” by Luke Briner 27 YOUT KC Taylor Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm CONTRIBUTORS Letter from the Editor Nicky Jordan Audrey Fox Dear Polity, We’re excited for you to read our third issue of the year! I want to give a special word of gratitude to our new layout team, Ms. Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm and Ms. KC Taylor, who begun their work at the Gadfly last issue, as well as Ms. Abigail Poppleton, who has and will be continuing to very kindly provide us with her excellent photography. It’s because of them that our paper is able to look nearly as good as it does, and they have my and our sincerest thanks. I also want to personally address the recent demonstration in protest of insufficient tutor compensation organized and executed by tutors Mr. Nicholas Bellinson and Mr. Khafiz Kerimov. Tutors are the guardians and the lifeblood of St. John’s, and are accordingly deserving of the highest respect not only from students but from the College itself—and one of the clearest and most important criteria for measuring the degree of that respect must inevitably be the level of material well-being that the College actually affords them with. The Gadfly, as an expression of the activity and the will of the student body, is inextricably linked to all conditions surrounding the educational life of that student body, and consequently must be passionately invested in this struggle which is so vital to the essence of that life. It is our very earnest hope that any and all financial ills and wrongs currently suffered by tutors are ameliorated and rectified as swiftly and as completely as possible, and we wholeheartedly support any means by which that may be accomplished. In practice, the Gadfly will use its platform to address the situation in three main ways. First, there will have already been coverage of the walk-out itself as well as our Dean’s personal reaction to it in the sixth issue of the Collegian. Second, within this issue, there is an extended interview by our Managing Editor Mr. El’ad Nichols-Kaufman with Mr. Bellinson and Mr. Kerimov. Third, Mr. Nichols-Kaufman and I will be working together on a significantly larger investigation of financial compensation and insecurity at the College for staff and students as well as for tutors in an upcoming issue. We also encourage our readers to reach out to us with their own respectfully-expressed perspectives on the situation, which we will happily publish in future issues. Luke Briner, Editor-in-chief 2 �λόγος THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 An Interview With Mr. Bellinson & Mr. Kerimov By El’ad Nichols-Kaufman Mr. Kerimov Addressing the Polity During the Walk-Out (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) On Friday, October 20th, a group of tutors and students walked out of classes ten minutes early to protest tutor pay, in response to a letter calling for action by tutors Nicholas Bellinson and Khafiz Kerimov. We sat down with them to ask about how the protest came about, and what kind of action might be expected moving forward. year, the compensation situation gets worse because of inflation, and things are at a breaking point in some ways. While it’s probably true that we could have done this in another month, we wanted to do it as early in the year as possible to give the board and the governance of the College as much time to respond as early in the budgeting season as possible. Nichols-Kaufman: Could you tell me how this protest came about, and why you decided to have it particularly now? Kerimov: Another thing that may have pushed us to do it now, is that as we perceive it, the problem has become visible to students now, which is really disgraceful. In the future, it will only become much more visible. It really felt like we had to act. Bellinson: I think one important thing to say is that we’ve tried the official channels a number of times. We’ve talked to the governing bodies of the College, we’ve shared our concerns, we’ve said the same things we’ve said in the letter, we’ve contextualized them with the data and numbers that have been provided to us, and that is apparently to no avail. We felt that something else was necessary. Why now particularly? Well, with every passing B: We had a letter from a recent alum who said that the whole time she was here, she was painfully aware of this problem. I think it's not good for the tutorstudent relationship, for students to know this is going on, but at the same time, they do know it’s going on, so it seemed to us that pretending it's not going on was not doing anything for anyone. 3 �λόγος THE GADFLY N-K: What in particular made you choose the walkout as the way to raise this issue? B: I think we felt that because instruction is being eroded by the problem, it was a form of protest that seemed appropriate to and commensurate with the problem itself. With our letter, we reached a wider audience than we thought, but the actual walkout seemed to us to make a statement about how instruction and potential instruction is lost because of poor compensation. N-K: At the BVG meeting on Saturday (10/21) they announced they would not be increasing compensation. What are you thinking of doing to move forward now? B: There are two things to say about that. One is that, in general, we see this as a problem of allocating the resources we already have as a college, and allocating money that’s raised in the future, since the only sustainable way to deal with compensation is to fundraise for it. It’s not something that will be covered by adjusting tuition or financial aid. We’re sure people are worried about that, and we want to make sure that people understand that those are not sustainable routes to raising tutor compensation. One thing is that modest annual increases to compensation every year would prevent the problem from getting worse, and part of the issue is that the board, in stopping annual increases 15 years ago, they made it so that every year the gap between where we are and where we should be gets larger. It looks like this insurmountable problem that you couldn’t possibly throw enough money at, but part of the problem is that they simply do not put any money to it each year. Part of it is setting aside a modest amount every year, but it's also the case that there has been a refusal to fundraise on this particular issue. We think it's clear that students, alumni, and wider members of the St. John’s community understand that this is an issue, and they would be responsive to fundraising. It's true that last year (2022-2023) the College increased pay slightly. That increase is quickly being swallowed by inflation, but it's now being used to justify the refusal to increase pay further. This is exactly why we need a commitment to annual increases corresponding to inflation. K: Let me add that we have encouraged at multiple faculty meetings the governance of the College to 4 November 2, 2023 fundraise to improve tutor compensation, but no such attempts have been made. This is really a problem of priority. The governance of the College, the board, has been taking tutors for granted for fifteen years now. We want a change in priority in how we are allocating the money we have already gathered, think of the freeing minds campaign, but also a change in priority in what we fundraise for. We are moving towards fundraising as the chief source of funding for the college, but the priorities of the governance just don’t reflect the reality of what it means for this college to be run. It’s so manifest that tutor compensation is not a priority. B: One more thing to say is that we’re often told that there’s no money for things. I’m sure you’ve heard this in other contexts as well, it’s not just tutor compensation. But, while it is the case that although there is separate fundraising for capital expenditures, it's also the case that capital expenditures like that do restrict endowment funds, and that’s where money for other things on campus come from. The other thing is although we're alway told that there isn’t money for tutor compensation, recently the board found money for a possible readjustment of compensation that would be disastrous, which we will probably reject. But it is certainly true that money can be found when there is a will, and the will simply hasn’t been there. N-K: I’ve heard two arguments made before at board meetings. One is that it’s harder to fundraise for pay, and the other is that it is not sustainable to pay people out of fundraising money. B: Just to clarify what we were saying, fundraising goes into the endowment for the most part. The endowment yields a certain amount of interest every year, which then can be drawn to pay the expenses of the College. That money can be allocated in different ways. There’s some question as to whether a separate fund would be the right way, we’re not sure about that. It is the case that when you fundraise you tell people, ‘this is why you should give money. These are our priorities,’ and then you allocate the fund accordingly. It’s not so much about fundraising into a particular pool, as it is allocating the funds appropriately. K: One of the reasons why we did what we did Friday is that we want to bring attention of the wider polity to the issue of tutor compensation. It doesn’t �λόγος THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 seem to us a ridiculous idea to fundraise for tutor compensation. At the end of the day, the College is about the students and the tutors. How can buildings, moving a coffee shop from one building to another, be a priority compared with making the job of a tutor sustainable? Let’s just say I’m not convinced that it's not possible to fundraise specifically for raising tutor compensation. They need to try it. how can I help?’ I just want to say that it's probably the case that in order to determine what the next steps are, we need to wait to get a response from the governance of the college. We haven’t received an official response yet, and I’m not sure one is forthcoming. If one is not forthcoming, we’ll make our next move (the board has not changed its position as a result of the walkout). B: By the way, there are people who work in the fundraising office who want to try it, it’s not that the opposition to this is universal. It’s kind of an accepted principle of fundraising that you don’t fundraise for this, but I don’t think that it takes into account that St. John’s is different. Our relationship to our students and alumni community is different, the modes of instruction are different, and I don’t see why we shouldn’t be more creative about our modes of fundraising. K: We have to wait for the governance to articulate their position, to respond to what happened, and hopefully they do. We’re really impressed by the kind of support we saw on Friday. I don’t think this could happen at other schools, and it really shows that when the essence of this College is under threat, students show up to protect it. It’s really beautiful. N-K: My last question is, given that this is going to remain an issue, what would you like to see happen moving forward? B: I think we want to say first that we’re really blown away by the student support we’ve received. We’ve received many offers from students: ‘what can I do, B: Just as a footnote to that: we’d much rather that students not have to worry about this. We are totally sympathetic to the desire not to burden students with this. But the reason we did what we did in the way that we did is that we believe that now students are burdened with this. Treating students as adults, and as members of the Polity, which is a political community, it’s only fair to at least make clear how important the stakes are. A Polity United: Students Sing “Sicut Cervus” During the Walk-Out (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) 5 �λόγος THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 A Brief Note from Your Layout Editor This issue of the Gadfly was originally set to be published on November 2, 2023. The submission deadline for articles was on October 23, 2023. Layout was completed and the final copy sent in for review on November 1, 2023 for the planned publication date of November 2, 2023. The printing of the issue has been delayed due to the desire of the administration of the college to add in the following piece (beginning on the facing page), in response to the interview with Mr. Bellinson and Mr. Kerimov that they saw while reviewing the final copy. Administration insisted on the response being in this issue of the Gadfly as an immediate reaction to the interview, in order to correct allegedly inaccurate statements made in the interview. This letter was finally sent in to Gadfly editors on the morning of November 8, 2023. I have completed the layout with adjustments for this piece — which, I must note as a layout editor, are not as simple as just copy-pasting text in and was indeed a significant inconvenience — as soon as possible as to not delay printing of this issue any further, but I believe it is important for transparency’s sake that the polity know the circumstances surrounding the addition of this piece and the delay of the issue’s publication. You may read more about this situation in the Collegian, where our managing editor, El’ad Nichols-Kaufman, has provided some additional commentary. Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm Layout editor 6 �λόγος THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 Le er from the President: A Response to the Tutor Compensation Walk-Out By Nora Demleitner Over the past several weeks, the issue of tutor and staff compensation has become a focus of broader conversation on campus. Although this issue is complex, I am committed to sharing information with the express aim of educating the community about the multitude of factors that influence budgetary decisions, including those around compensation. It is my hope that through both the statement shared by the dean in the Collegian last week, and through this longer and more detailed letter, that the community will start to understand the complexities of this issue more fully. First and foremost, I wholeheartedly agree that our employees deserve to be compensated at higher levels. They are the lifeblood of this institution, and we could not deliver the education we deliver without them. We are committed to exploring fundraising and other strategies that will help address this issue and will continue to work with our donors and employees as we move forward. At the same time, the issue is a complicated one that I hope to clarify more fully here. St. John’s provides an exceptional education that is also exceptionally expensive: small classes that allow students to get individualized attention and feedback, seminars with two tutors who are all tenure -track or tenured faculty (no adjuncts or graduate assistants), and all in a residential setting on a historic college campus, which requires high levels of maintenance. These realities create many challenges when thinking about how to allocate funds. It is important for our community, and especially our students, to understand how we operate when thinking about the economic choices we make—whether addressing the cost of higher education by cutting tuition by one-third as we did a few years ago, expanding financial aid support for students, addressing the deferred maintenance on our buildings by committing to residence hall improvements and other renovations, and addressing the very real challenge of compensating our tutors and staff at the levels we to which we aspire. Like household budgets, operating budgets consist of revenue and expenses. On the expense side, the St. John’s Program is very costly. A St. John’s education costs approximately $65,000 per student annually, even though we receive far less on average from students who attend. Why is it so expensive? Our education is highly individualized. It requires two full-time, tenure-tracked faculty members in three years of seminar; none of our classes besides freshman music are more than 21 students. There are no lecture classes of 50 or 500 (that happens only for Friday night lecture). Because our faculty members are all full-time, they receive full benefits, including excellent medical insurance, generous retirement benefits, and a host of other incidental benefits. And up to a certain level of seniority, every faculty member receives annual step increases, which is the college’s language for an annual raise. The college also offers other multiple opportunities, such as summer teaching to augment salaries, and works closely with the tutor compensation committee to address salary issues and discuss, as we currently do, at least some limited proposals to mitigate the most serious impact of our salary structure. In addition to the high cost of our educational model, our student services are robust. Over the last several years, we have increased student services across multiple areas: mental health and wellness resources, career development services, graduate school preparation, and more. In total, our annual operating expenditure for both campuses exceed $53 million. On the revenue side, St. John’s draws revenue from two sources: student-derived revenue, which includes tuition and fees plus housing and dining; and donor-derived revenue, which includes the annual fund, dedicated gifts, government and institutional grants, and the endowment draw. On the studentderived revenue front, the college annually receives approximately $14 million less from students today, 7 �λόγος THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 Students Walking Out In Support Of Their Tutors (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) inflation-adjusted, than we did in 2008. This is a challenging trend seen across higher education. On the donor front, the college’s annual fund provides approximately $3 million annually for operating expenses including salaries and benefits; donor gifts and grants are often restricted to specified uses; and our approximately $240 million endowment has strict legal requirements around its use: the college may use 5 percent of the endowment annually— which is called the endowment draw—to help fund that year’s operating expenses including salaries and benefits.* Balancing the distribution of funds to meet multiple competing needs while honoring donor intent and legal restrictions is never a simple task. Unlike most colleges, our educational model makes alternative revenue streams challenging to access. We do not have major sporting events, profitable vocational certificate programs, or large money-making online programs. We also choose not to operate at the scale that large institutions do because we believe that real community on a small campus matters, but this means that our per student costs are very high. We don’t want to compromise the things we hold most dear: our tight-knit 8 community, small classes, and a full-time, tenured faculty. Although we have just completed the successful $325 million Freeing Minds capital campaign, it is important to note that more than $135 million of the funds raised are bequests and planned gifts, which will not become available to the college for years and even decades. Of the $190 million received to date, $80 million went into the endowment. Another $68 million went toward academic and operational support, which also supports college salaries and benefits. In addition, as part of the campaign, a specific gift of over $330,000 was spent on faculty support for freshman advising and direct stipends. And another $41 million was given by donors specifically to support construction projects, and that especially means, in Annapolis, our residence halls.** Anyone living in our residence halls knows that renovating them is not a luxury but an overdue necessity—and some of our donors want to put their resources there. Fundraising specifically for salaries can be challenging, but is not impossible. It requires a donor who has the will to support us and the capacity to do �λόγος THE GADFLY so. Because salaries are not one-time costs, we need to fundraise for them in a way that provides consistent, ongoing, annual support. The most effective way to do this is by establishing tutorrelated endowments, from which the college could reap 5 percent annually without the underlying principal dropping. We do have some endowments that are uniquely focused on tutor support, but a step forward would be to fundraise specifically for faculty salaries; this may require us to find new and creative avenues, such as endowing the deanship or the associate dean position, endowing rotating faculty positions, or endowing specific functions the college values, such as archons. Those opportunities may resonate with donors who could help us create longterm, year-over-year funds for the ongoing and always rising costs of salaries. Should we be successful at finding interested donors, the solution would not arrive overnight as endowments take some time to build but would allow our small but outstanding fundraising team to make specific requests for donor support of salaries. Last year, we were happy to be able to raise tutor and staff salaries (separately from tutors’ annual step increases) but were not in a position to do so again this year. The board and college leadership are committed to raising salaries going forward but we have to do so in a way that is fiscally responsible by not adding further uncovered expenses. In the meantime, the board is considering proposals to increase junior tutor salaries, which many consider the most immediate shortcoming. These challenges are not new to us. The Program was founded in 1937 as the college was on the precipice of collapse. At that time and throughout the Program’s multiple decades, St. John’s has required many periods of sacrifice across our full community. This sacrifice has always been shared across our faculty, staff, and even our students. On the student side, we put Johnnies through a rigorous curriculum and ask them to forgo some of the luxuries that large universities offer. On the staff side, most work very long hours, have no guaranteed step increases, and deserve higher pay. And on the tutor side, as we all know, they pour their very hearts and souls into their work and are paid less than they deserve. It is a demanding Program for all of us, and we are in this together because we love St. John’s. The college won’t lessen the demands of the curriculum nor add luxuries to our campuses, but it is committed to bettering the workload and November 2, 2023 compensation situation for tutors and staff. Sincerely, Nora Demleitner President *With an endowment of roughly $240 million, we draw approximately $10 million annually to spend on college expenses, which covers about 20% of our annual $53 million operating budget. ** An additional $41 million in funds from the campaign were given by donors for construction projects that support students through campus improvements, such as Santa Fe’s solar array and the renovation of Campbell Hall in Annapolis. The college has also been able to benefit from special funding from the state of Maryland and foundations for some building projects, such as Mellon Hall. These are funds that are not available for other uses, but that provide an important opportunity to improve our students’ living and learning environment, while also offering additional budget relief. In addition, after a 2020 facilities assessment of both campuses was completed— in which we learned that the cost of deferred maintenance on both campuses was estimated to exceed $80 million—a generous donor awarded the college a matching grant of $25 million dollars over 10 years to address these projects, so long as the college can match the amount two-to-one annually. This means we are responsible for finding $5 million dollars in cash gifts annually through 2032 in order to get our campuses in healthy shape. This is no small task but one that we are committed to and will complete. 9 �λόγος THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 Kunai, a History—a Made-up Name, But Here to Stay By Tamar Pinsky Pictured: Aerial View of a Kunai game. Photography by KC Taylor. Kunai as we know it today is a place where women and non-cisgendered students come together to play sports, whether it be practicing, scrimmaging, or competing in tournaments. Not quite the same as either intramurals or pick-up, rather, Kunai is a program all its own; however, it did not start out this way. What is now Kunai was once the women’s complementary program to an all-men intramural program. The two operated similarly, having five 10 teams for men and four for women, and a draft that took place sophomore year—this construction was thanks to the athletic director at the time, Bryce Jacobsen. The women’s league had some difficulty getting enough people out to play, but this was not unusual at the time—the 1970s. Title IX, the federal civil rights law prohibiting sex-based discrimination in schools, had just been passed, and so support for women in sports had just started to increase. But then Jacobsen retired from the athletic director �λόγος THE GADFLY position, and the athletic program experienced a transitional two-year blip, in which three different people ran it together. The next person to take over was Leo Pickens, a St. John’s alumnus and previous commercial banker. During Pickens’ first year in 1988, the women’s league still had small games on the regular, but Pickens realized that the structure of two parallel leagues was outdated, bringing the women down. He abolished the format of intramural games, and had the women start playing club sports—against schools such as Washington College, Gallaudet University, and the Naval Academy. The women’s program, now focusing strongly on soccer, resembled the crew program, with practices three times a week and games three times a semester. It was at this time—the mid-90s—that they started calling themselves Kunai Kthonyai, meaning “the female dogs from the underworld,” because they practiced on the lower field. Participation grew, and excitement hit the roof—big crowds came to watch the 24 women play against non-Johnnies. These intercollegiate games started to get a little too rough. The other schools’ teams played differently, and students were getting seriously injured. As referee of the games, Pickens felt that he lost control. Pickens decided that this level of intensity was more harmful than helpful for the students, and besides— the amount of effort needed to facilitate the games was not worth it, and playing other schools was not in the spirit intended—and so he brought Kunai back from intercollegiate play. Now he had to decide what to have Kunai members do instead of playing other schools. He decided to form an “advisory council” of the most enthusiastic players from the women’s league—about fifteen people. These fifteen in turn recruited more, for now they would just be playing amongst themselves. However, Kunai had moved on from being an intramural substitute. The Kunai council created the idea of a “craft” instead of a “draft” for arranging the players into teams. Rather than have each captain choose who they like for their own team, they all worked together to create teams with optimum fairness. Their goal: maximum participation and fun competition. November 2, 2023 The identity of Kunai cemented. Weeks of clinic work followed by weeks of soccer and basketball games turned the teams of women into one proud united group. Then Pickens retired, and under the new athletic director Mike McQuarrie, Kunai did not have as much support as in the past. McQuarrie held a spot for Kunai and gave them equipment, but his main focus was making intramurals co-ed. Many people wondered about the purpose of Kunai – they did not realize that Kunai was not akin to pick-up, nor a sort of preparation for intramurals, but some unnamed third thing. In 2016, Chris Krueger took over as athletic director, and helped revive Kunai. He brought back the advisory council, the structure of captains and teams, and had them start playing netball. He tried to get rid of the “pick-up” label they had acquired, encouraging Kunai members to do league play. It was around this time that the student captains decided to expand Kunai to include non-cisgendered individuals as well. But yet another obstacle was up ahead: Covid. A lot of the smaller clubs had been struck hard by the pandemic—fencing, crew. There was at least one year when Kunai did not manage to have any practices, and only a tiny season. Kunai has essentially had to build from the ground up since then, under the athletic coordinator Rachel Fleming who started at St. John’s in 2022. With all the changes Kunai has had over the years, there is no sign of it stopping anytime soon. Already in the two years since Covid, Kunai has taken on several additions—a reintroduction of netball, a reintroduction of crafted teams, and this year, for the first time, flag rugby. And Kunai may keep on changing in the future, to keep up with its evolving purpose and participants. But it is clear that along the journey that Kunai has had—from being a women’s league alongside the men’s, to playing intercollegiate games, to becoming a program all its own, Kunai has held a special place in our athletic program. A place of adaptability, a place of sports for the sake of sports, and a place of community. 11 �λόγος THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 Carlson, God of Donuts and Thai Food By Benne Sco , with Audrey Fox What happened in 2002? Audrey Fox, food reviewer of The Gadfly, was born (boring, predictable). But what really happened? The Global Thai Program was launched, expanding Thai food from 5,500 restaurants to 10,000 in less than a decade (see the Wikipedia article about it IDK1). And what is better than Thai food? Donuts. But putting them together reminds me of my uncle’s first three marriages: bound to be a bad combination. So how, then, does this place which once sent my nerves tingling out of fear become my favorite restaurant? Let me tell you about my most recent trip to Carlson’s Thai and Donuts (!?). Ms. Audrey Fox is a woman. At first, we did not get along; she knew what she was talking about, undercutting any mansplaining I might have done (AudreyÊ note:Ê IÊ disagree). However, on the drive over, we learned that we aren’t so different: we have the same messed up speech pattern (mayor pronounced like mare, nuclear pronounced like George Bush), we have the same birthday (March 9th), and were dreadfully afraid of the dark as children (she feared being stabbed, I feared the Green Goblin). Our main bond: Minecraft. If we had met in the 7th grade, we would have stabbed each other with digital sticks. So that’s cool (AudreyÊ Note:Ê IÊ unfortunatelyÊdoÊnotÊagreeÊthatÊthisÊisÊcool). Upon arriving, you’re immediately hit with one of my favorite parts of the Carlson’s experience: extreme dis-ease. The parking lot is oddly slanted, the building next door is an abandoned gas station with a boat out back, and the restaurant itself is just a house that’s been gutted. They’ve tried to make the inside less unsettling: the lighting is gentle, coming from nice decorative lamps, and there’s plenty of art (all of the Thai royal family). This is one of the worst changes Carlson’s has undergone; last year, when they were only doing takeout, the lighting was pure white, the tables were covered in disposable utensils, and not a soul was sitting at them. As a man who doesn’t let himself feel any real emotions and so must rely on incredibly strange stimuli to have anything like actual feeling, this liminal experience scratched a deep itch and I miss it. Don’t worry, though, some remnants of the uncanny remain: the refrigerators full of half and half (tasty with your fried rice), the panicked and continual stream of phone calls, the 12 signs posted everywhere warning against buying alcohol without a real ID (‘DON’T EVEN TRY,’ but y’all don’t even sell alcohol?), all combine to remind you that this place is certainly not home. We ate in a booth (AudreyÊ Note:Ê WeÊ oughtÊ toÊhaveÊsatÊatÊtheÊtableÊwithÊtheÊtwoÊchairsÊfacingÊ theÊ wall). Before our food arrived, what had seemed to be our saving grace turned out to be our worst nightmare: Minecraft was back. And this time it came with something even more horrifying than my own childhood: a real living present-tense child. She was two booths over from us and listening to KidsYoutube Minecraft on full blast (I can’t even attempt to recreate what they were saying it makes my brain melt so bad). My secondhand embarrassment, if you can believe I have such a thing, was through the roof. How could I explain the intricacies of how a block game has become a cultural institution and how videos on the internet have become explicitly designed to be crack-for-children to the old couple sitting next to us? How could I make them understand that that little girl didn’t want to ruin their cute evening together (they just learned what Thai tea is!), that she was just a victim of late stage entertainment capitalism? I stuck to eating (AudreyÊ Note:ÊVeryÊcoolÊBennett). It was during the first course that Audrey went on the first of many monologues: “You see I remember the day I learned I was gonna die: I was sitting on a trampoline with my mom and said, ‘It sucks that you’re gonna have to grow old and die one day while I’m gonna be young forever.’ Then she promptly informed me I was gonna die too. That was the first time I faced my mortality.” She proceeded to torment me about the worst moments of my life and dunk on the entire concept of dog movies (AudreyÊ Note:Ê IÊ don’tÊ thinkÊ thisÊ shouldÊbeÊ aÊ controversialÊ opinion.ÊInÊfact,ÊIÊthinkÊMr.ÊScottÊisÊusingÊthisÊandÊ previousÊcommentsÊonÊmyÊbehaviorÊtoÊpaintÊmeÊasÊ aÊ cold,Ê unfeelingÊ woman.Ê IÊ likeÊ dogs,Ê IÊ justÊ findÊ dogÊ moviesÊ toÊ beÊ usingÊ ourÊ loveÊ ofÊ animalsÊ asÊ anÊ emotionalÊcrutchÊtoÊavoidÊanyÊrealÊsubstance). Honestly, I don’t know how to review actual food. Go read Audrey’s article if you want opinions. I, truly, just love Carlson’s. The fried rice. The curry. The stir fry. It’s flavorful, it’s fresh, it’s fucking delicious. Sure, I’m weak to mushrooms and sometimes they randomly show up, but as Audrey �λόγος THE GADFLY loves to remind me: I’m 22 years old and I can suck it up. Will I, upon every return trip, recall a certain food editor making fun of the time I had to recite a ten minute ‘humorous’ speech in front of my entire government class and got not a single laugh (AudreyÊ note:Ê IÊ don’tÊ rememberÊ thatÊ atÊ all,Ê butÊ BennettÊ definitelyÊ does)? Yes. But, by god, it’s good enough to endure even that. You really should go. November 2, 2023 Endnotes: 1. I actually fear plagiarism so here’s the real citation: “Culinary Diplomacy.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 20 Sept. 2023, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Culinary_diplomacy#Thailand. Illustrated: Audrey Fox and Benne Sco and Benne Sco and Benne Sco and Benne and Benne Sco and Benne Sco and Benne Sco and Benne Sco Outside Carlson’s Sco and Benne Sco 13 �συμπόσιον THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 Ungo By Nicky Jordan Over the last couple of years, one subject and one technology have been the cause of much clamor, that subject being what might be popularly referred to as AI. Whether or not this so-called AI technology is truly Artificially Intelligent is a question with many dimensions. Questions such as: What is intelligence? How would we identify Intelligence? What are the ethical implications of such a theoretical intelligence? and others of that sort are just some of a seemingly infinite fractal spiral of problems that seem to rise with the birth of anything somewhat new. In this essay, my aim is not to answer any of these broad questions; I rather want to buttress some grounding aspects of the question of intelligence and problematize the idea that any kind of large language model has any actual understanding of words in and of itself. With the hope that this investigation will somehow provide some insight into this ever looming issue, one that bears not only on our lives but on the nature of life itself. Of course, the dangers of AI as it exists now are not yet at least the dangers of the formation of some super spirit or superintelligence of the Skynet variety—that's probably at least a few years down the line, though we can of course debate whether it's possible at all. My concern here is not so much with AI but rather with the possible ramifications of so-called AI for our understanding of ourselves and for our understanding of language. The thought experiment I present here will look rather familiar to some of you, and it should be—the first part of it is stolen from John Searle. Part I: A Chinese Room “Imagine a native speaker of English, me for example, who understands no Chinese. Imagine that I am locked in a room with boxes of Chinese symbols (the database) together with a book of instructions in English for manipulating the symbols (the program). Imagine that people outside the room send in small batches of Chinese symbols (questions) and these form the input. [What] I know is that I am receiving sets of symbols which to me are meaningless. Imagine that I follow the program which instructs me how to manipulate the symbols. Imagine that the programmers who design the program are so good at writing the program, and I get so good at manipulating the Chinese symbols, that I am able to give correct answers to the questions (the output). The program makes it possible for me, in the room, to pass the Turing Test for understanding Chinese, but all the same I do not understand a single word of Chinese. The point of the argument is that if I do not understand Chinese on the basis of implementing the appropriate program for understanding Chinese, then neither does any other digital computer solely on that basis because the computer, qua computer, has nothing that I do not have.”1 This is the Chinese room argument, often considered one of the most important arguments regarding AI. The argument essentially seeks to show that something is missing as regards so called AI, that being semantic cognition. By this I mean that mental process by which a signified is understood as corresponding determinately to a signifier; i.e., by which a tree is understood to be a tree. One important feature of this kind of cognition that I would like to highlight especially is the ability to name. In naming, we are, in stark contrast to the sort of arbitrary input-output manipulation featured in the passage above, capable of actively generating symbols that have a real signified-object, and therefore that have a determinate, substantial meaning to us. An intelligence with real semantic cognition, then, will have an entirely different, and we might suppose far more intentional and conscious, process of thinking than an 1 Searle, “Minds, Brains, and Programs,” 1980. 14 �συμπόσιον THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 artificially-programmed intelligence which does not. In naming we not only construct meaningful sentences or statements but indeed furnish the very meanings of words. But perhaps this is to get ahead of ourselves. Part II: Ungo 1. Let me now present a further, extrapolative thought experiment whose possibility and implications are unclear and which I hope will provide insight into the precise nature of semantic cognition that I’ve indicated above. Imagine two Chinese rooms, with each room in this case being two different programs. Each sharing a set of randomly generated symbols, each with a set of syntactic rules like Searle’s, the symbols are generated split up into categories, randomized into sets, further categorized, etc. These categories are subsequently assigned syntactical rules of interaction with all other sets. These two programs are also to be slightly randomized as well as equipped with neural networks to train and evolve on the data involved for each stabilizing and changing the symbol sets. These two will then be put in “dialogue.” I propose that the system I have described here would by all appearances simulate effectively the interactions of the two speakers of a language, such that if carved in stone the symbols would be interpreted as linguistic by some unfortunate archeologist of the future who has no idea the kind of prank that has been pulled. I will refer to this “language” as Ungo and its “speakers” as Ungo Boxes. The arrangements of symbols produced by this dynamic system would have consistent structure, consistent symbols grouped in consistent orders, and even sequences or embedded parts of this “dialogue” that involve the consistent inconsistencies so common to language. I operate under the assumption that this latter part is achievable by means of the aforementioned neural network. I would add here that if those readers who are more knowledgeable on the subject have found this description fundamentally flawed, I would welcome them with open arms to correct me. My central question, then, is this: does this language (this zombie language if you will), and thereby also the dialogue produced on its basis, have any actual semantic content? Again, on the assumption that 1) this dynamic symbolic system I have described is possible and 2) that my descriptions of the outcomes of that dynamic system are theoretically plausible, we have here with what I have called ‘Ungo’ a system of signs that to anyone who didn’t know it’s origin would appear to be a language. 2. To illustrate this point, I would like to provide a story, one whose basic narrative will be familiar to most historians and archaeologists. In some distant other time, perhaps long ago or long after the time I am writing, an archeologist digs through the ruins of an ancient civilization, digs through the ruins of what is thought by common hypothesis to have been a great temple, one made of fine strange materials and standing high, well preserved, and ornate amidst a vast expanse of sunken, water-logged ruins. Stumbling about in the dark recesses of this great and mysterious structure, our archeologist comes across a room that strikes her as strange. She slowly, carefully makes her way into this room in order to investigate further—and then, in a single, startling moment, the wall that she has kept her hand against for stability suddenly opens as though a secret door, revealing an even stranger octagonal room with high ceilings. Squinting in the darkness, she discovers a great black obelisk with incomprehensible symbols staggered across it as far as she can see everywhere and in all directions. A later investigation finds that the walls around the monolith are also transcribed upon but with letters and numbers that are much more familiar. This is naturally hailed as the discovery of the century, and the young archeologist becomes famous. But as the years drag on, all attempts to decode, decipher or make intelligible the monument transcripts utterly fail. The writings on the wall provide no resources for deciphering it; and, once translated, only provide what seem to be interpretive methods for the monument itself, some of which contradict each other and some of 15 �συμπόσιον THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 which simply prescribe probabilities of sequences. Speculation abounds; some even suggest an extraterrestrial origin. One thing is abundantly clear to all, however: the makers of the monument room didn’t seem to know any more about this language than the researchers did. Paper after paper is published on the monument transcript, arguing over its linguistic content, its origin, and its purpose. One paper of particular interest takes the interpretive paradigms transcribed on the wall as evidence that, much like many ancient civilizations, this monument represented a type of divination, a stone transcription of an oracle bone or augury. This theory is, however, ultimately rejected: the syntactical character of the writing was far too obvious for it to have been any kind of random augury. Throughout all this, the archaeologist who discovered the monument finds herself in a constant frustration and anxiety that she cannot explain what she has become so well known for finding. 3. What I propose as the main features that differentiate an empty zombie language from the sort of language of actual speakers, then, is that the latter is necessarily embodied in a world, and moreover that it refers to that world. When I speak of “eating that banana over there,” I am not merely playing out a structurally necessary series of signs; rather, I am weaving together those signs with the conscious intent of representing some reality, or at least the notion of some reality. Conversely, in the case of zombie language like Ungo, the signs cannot mean anything because they are only for themselves: x only means x, y only means y—or, really, not even that, for any actual enunciation of y is always already a case of y standing for something other than its pure existence as a symbol or sign. At most it stands for its syntactical role. It is just this kind of reference that is impossible in any meaningful sense for the Ungo Boxes. The system involved are completely incapable of making any meaningfully-embodied reference to a world, because the only world that this mechanical system has is its own symbolic plumbing system, one necessarily contained entirely within itself and with no external reference or meaning for the whole manifold of its vocabulary. I’ll leave off my inquiry at this important point. The legitimacy of my ultimate claim is questionable, of course, and the work has only just been outlined here; I hope in any case, however, that my basic enunciation of it serves as an effective means of stimulating dialogue concerning this highly important topic at the College. John M. Christensen, Director of Admissions, Seated at Desk Typing on a Computer Keyboard 16 �συμπόσιον THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 AXIOMS. 1. Two numbers are equal when one cannot be shown to be greater or less than the other. 2. The sum of two numbers in an additional operation will be greater than or equal to each of those numbers individually; i.e., (n₁ + n₂) ≥ n₁ or n₂. 3. A transfinite number is immeasurably greater than any finite number. An A empted System of Operational Proofs for Four Transfinite Equations 4. Any number, finite or transfinite, cannot signify two discrete quantities at once; i.e., if n is determined to represent a discrete quantity of two, it cannot at the same time represent a discrete quantity of three, and likewise ℵ₀, being the representative of the transfinite set S comprehending all natural numbers, can neither simultaneously represent any of those natural numbers themselves or any transfinite set definitely greater than S itself. DEFINITIONS. PROPOSITIONÊ1. 1. A set is “any collection into a whole…of definite and separate objects…of our intuition or our thought” (p. 231).1 The sum of a finite number and a transfinite number is always exactly equal to that transfinite number. By Luke Briner 2. A cardinal number is a number which signifies the discrete quantity of members within a given set. 3. Transfinitude is that which is not bound by finitude. 4. S is the transfinite set of all natural numbers. 5. ℵ₀ is the cardinal number signifying S. 6. n is any definite, finite (natural) number. 7. Counting is the simple operation of “the successive creation of the infinite series of positive integers in which each individual is defined by the one immediately preceding” (p. 210). 8. Addition is the compounded operation of counting. 9. Multiplication is the compounded operation of addition. Let the operation n + ℵ₀ be given. Hence it is for us to prove that the sum of that operation will necessarily be exactly ℵ₀. Now since the sum of any additional operation will always be greater than or equal to each of its constituent numbers (Ax. 2), the sum of n + ℵ₀ will necessarily either be equal to or greater than ℵ₀; for a sum less than either of the constituent numbers of the operation is impossible. I say, then, that n + ℵ₀ = ℵ₀. For to assume that the sum would be greater than ℵ₀ by the addition of n would be to assume that ℵ₀ is in a less-than-immeasurable ratio to n, such that its magnitude could actually be added to by its combination with it. But this would imply that ℵ₀ is not in fact a transfinite number, since all transfinite numbers are immeasurably greater than any finite number (Ax. 3), and, this being the case, its magnitude could not be increased by the addition of a finite number. But this is absurd, since ℵ₀ is a transfinite number (Defs. 4-5). Since, then, n + ℵ₀ cannot be either less than or greater than ℵ₀, their sum must be exactly equal to ℵ₀ (Ax. 1). Q.E.D. 1 All citations are to the Junior Mathematics Manual as produced for the academic year of 2022-2023. 17 �συμπόσιον THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 PROPOSITIONÊ3. The product of a finite number and any transfinite number is always exactly equal to that transfinite number. Student at Blackboard during Mathematics Tutorial PROPOSITIONÊ2. The sum of a transfinite number with itself is always exactly equal to that same transfinite number. Let the operation ℵ₀ + ℵ₀ be given. Hence it is for us to prove that the sum of that operation will necessarily be exactly ℵ₀. Now since the sum of any additional operation will always be greater than or equal to each of its constituent numbers (Ax. 2), the sum of ℵ₀ + ℵ₀ will be either greater than or equal to ℵ₀. Moreover, it is given that ℵ₀ signifies the transfinite set S (Defs. 4-5), and that any transfinite number is immeasurably greater than any finite number (Ax. 3). I say, then, that ℵ₀ + ℵ₀ = ℵ₀. For to assume that the sum of ℵ₀ + ℵ₀ is greater than ℵ₀ would necessarily be to assume that the sum ℵ₀ (designated hereafter by sℵ₀) is greater than the addend ℵ₀ (designated hereafter by aℵ₀), and thereby that aℵ₀ is actually less than sℵ₀, since only then could sℵ₀ be conceived as actually greater than it. But sℵ₀ and aℵ₀, despite performing different functions operationally, are constituted by the very same number ℵ₀ which itself signifies the very same transfinite set. Thus to say that sℵ₀ > aℵ₀ is effectively to say that ℵ₀ > ℵ₀, i.e., that each of the individual ℵ₀s presented to us in the operation ℵ₀ + ℵ₀, before being summed, are definitely less in themselves than the sum ℵ₀ on the other side of the supposed equation. But this would imply that ℵ₀ simultaneously signifies two different discrete quantities; and this is absurd (Ax. 4). Since, then, sℵ₀ cannot be greater than aℵ₀, it must be equal to it (Ax. 1); i.e., ℵ₀ = ℵ₀. Q.E.D. 18 Let the operation n ℵ₀ be given. Hence it is for us to prove that the product of that operation will necessarily be exactly ℵ₀. Now multiplication is simply the compounded operation of addition (Def. 9), i.e., is simply a given multitude of additional operations; thus what holds fundamentally for addition will also hold fundamentally for multiplication. I say, then, that n ℵ₀ = ℵ₀; for since we have proven that n + ℵ₀ = ℵ₀ (Prop. 1), the same must hold for the subsequent multiplicative operation. Q.E.D. Corollary. From this it necessarily follows that 1/n ℵ₀ = ℵ₀. For although fractions are produced by the more complex, indirect operation of division (p. 210) rather than addition or multiplication, the fractional number is nevertheless a finite number signifying a discrete quantity, and hence is not conceptually distinct from n in itself in any way, and will in any case result in a finite number when the divisitive operation is actually performed on 1/n itself; i.e., 1/n = n/n₂/etc. Since, therefore, we have proven that n ℵ₀ = ℵ₀, the product of 1/n ℵ₀ must be the same. Q.E.D. PROPOSITIONÊ4. The product of a transfinite number with itself is always exactly equal to that same transfinite number. Let the operation ℵ₀ á ℵ₀ be given. Hence it is for us to prove that the product of that operation will necessarily be exactly ℵ₀. Now multiplication is simply the compounded operation of addition (Def. 9), i.e., is simply a given multitude of additional operations; thus what holds fundamentally for addition will also hold fundamentally for multiplication. I say, then, that ℵ₀ ℵ₀ = ℵ₀; for since we have proven that ℵ₀ + ℵ₀ = ℵ₀ (Prop. 2), the same must hold for the subsequent multiplicative operation. Q.E.D �πόλις THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 Noodles: “A Cannibalistic Chef’s Dilemma” By Tamar Pinsky 19 �πόλις THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 Don’t Meet Your Wife at St. John’s College By Dr. Benjamin Raymor Maier, Ph.D. During this past alumni weekend, I was horrified to see the College giving out a button that said “I met my wife at St. John’s College.” At first, I couldn’t articulate the dread that this harmless little button caused me. Some dark evil seeped through its inanity and kitschness. As an expert in romance, I felt compelled to publish a public health announcement to anyone remotely concerned for their future:Ê Don’tÊ meetÊyourÊwifeÊatÊSt.ÊJohn’sÊCollege. Within the confines of the College, we are in a kind of intellectual Disneyland. We are constantly exposed to the same mentors, friends, and colleagues who share our own interests. There are even little rituals, traditions, and ways of life that mold our minds over the course of four years. If libraries could be homesteads or pastoral villages they would be our College. An unfortunate consequence of all this sentimental exposure is that Johnnies tend to develop deep romantic feelings for each other. Most critics would immediately attack my diagnosis: “Of course this happens. Most people fall in love at college”, “Isn’t it such a cute way to meet your future spouse?”, or “Stop judging the way people fall in love”. Before I proceed let me clarify, I am notÊ advocating abstinence at the College. If the Spirit compels you to a series of twisted and sexy Johnnie encounters (if such a thing exists), then by all means go ahead. However, the idea of “marrying a Johnnie” indicates a deep sickness within one’s heart: a total enrapturement with a functional co-worker because they “get you” or have given you “so many great memories”. It is truly the romance of our grandparents and generations past. Much like our classical curriculum, the Johnnie romance harkens back to an older time where desperation and necessity compelled us to the nearest objects of desire. For Euclid that was shapes, but for the Johnnie it's someone you’ve had a seminar and two tutorials with. “Marrying a Johnnie” rejects the modern and scientific prescriptions of dating and openly stands against the norms of our world. As Figure 1 shows, there has been a total collapse of romantic partnerships among co-workers and college students. 20 Figure 1 Once again, the critics will claim that this shows how diseased our modern condition and heart has become: “What about the intimate connections gained through in-person community?” I will say that I am deeply sympathetic to the claims of the pastoral integralist who scorns the current state of affairs. We have lost many great things with the decline of the tight-knit community. However, I believe that the injection of modernity into romance has been a triumph for the erotic soul. Online dating and meeting at bars leverages romantic volume at an unprecedented rate: one can probably find three more potential spouses in a dedicated week of “dating-around” than their village-stuck grandmother could do in a lifetime. There are no serious advantages to marrying a Johnnie and I am not convinced by the arguments of my opponents. The common polemic waged against me is that “There is no one else I would rather talk to than a Johnnie”. The claim testifies against itself and shines a light on the deep egotism of the Johnnie soul: a belief that “being good at talking” makes someone attractive. The absurdity of this claim grows when these kinds of Johnnies get married. The yoke of marriage inverts all traditional so-called romantic wisdom and “cures” like communication and affection become poisons to the union. As any graduate student would know, being “good-attalking” does not pay the mortgage or buy the pleasures of life. To love a beautiful soul is to live a �πόλις THE GADFLY life of poverty. For the record, I do not want to hear of successful Johnnie marriages. Survivorship bias is already enough of a poison to the discourse as it is. Now if you must entertain marriage with one of your classmates, please consider this helpful example to guide your decision making. Consider the first-class Midshipman who is ready to graduate. He has been trapped for four years in an open-air prison with severe restrictions on his freedom. His prospects for future partners are grim and he is deeply afraid of being alone. Consequently, he immediately marries his classmate or hometown girlfriend in order to bring her along on his six years of drudgery. Most would think that this is the worst kind of marriage but I say the opposite. Before this couple inevitably divorces, they will freely enjoy Uncle Sam’s numerous benefits for young married couples in the Armed Forces: mobility, adventure, financial November 2, 2023 security, healthcare, etc. In fact, the quickness of their marriage is a boon to the couple. Neither partner will have enough assets to make the divorce messy and they will still be young enough to try again if they so choose. The Johnnie marriage promises quite the opposite: longevity with little material gain. But as St. Paul says, it is better to marry than to burn. If you, Johnnie man or woman, have a heart of twists and turns and feel compelled to marry-up then please do the following: Next time you steal your Johnnie partner’s phone, don’t check through their text messages, look at their bank account instead. Trust me, I’m a doctor. Yours Truly Ben Maier, Ph.D. in Romance and Sports Medicine Pictured: The Love Doctor, photo by himself, artistry by BS 21 �πόλις THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 Should Men Have Friends? By B.S. Dear men, Images by B.S., Pexels, PNG Tree, and Raw Pixel 22 As an elite entrepreneur, the first and only certified Omega Male, and wildly successful podcast host (The Bro Scogan Experientia), people frequently bring me their most important questions: “How can I get in shape?” Work hard, hit the gym, stay consistent. “What are the things I need to do to be a real man?” Anyone can be a real man. Just be kind, protective, loyal, and run at least two marathons every week. “How can I do all that while maintaining a family life?” Get rid of the family. But there’s one really difficult question I’d like to address here, in my Omega-Sigma-AlphaTRT-Man-Letter of the week: Should men have friends? To some of the lesser thinkers of this generation, the answer seems obvious: “Of course. All the finest men have had friends and confidants: Alexander the Great, Julius Caeser, Napoleon. They all had close advisors who must certainly qualify as friends. Having friends not only helps you achieve your highest goals, they can also help you in your worst times. Nobody deserves to be alone.” Oh really? If that’s true, then explain this: why is it a lone wolf, not a ‘goes to trivia every Thursday and goes drinking every Friday with a reliable group of friends’ wolf? If those friends were so important to the great people, name three. Name three friends. Of all time. If men are supposed to have friends, why do I have absolutely none and am forced to stare at the empty ceiling every night as it slowly blurs with tears? �πόλις THE GADFLY Huh? Exactly: because men aren’t supposed to have friends. We’re supposed to have rivals. To a real man, everyone is a rival. Your rivalry with your roommate pushes you to wake up earlier, shower colder, grunt louder during every slight physical activity. Your rivalry with your gym partner forces you to work even harder at the church of iron because you know he’s getting stronger in his own time, yeah, he’s been eating right, he’s been lifting, he’s been doing cold plunges, you can tell, in the hard… smooth… beautiful… the perfect muscles he’s got going on for this summer. And you won’t stand for it. Your rivalry with your classmates and coworkers makes you speak faster, longer, interrupting more just to let them know: I’m the smartest, the greatest, you’re not correct and you’re gonna be aware that you’re not correct as soon as I start clearing my throat and making faces in the middle of your point. To a true omega male, it’s all about the grind to being #1, no matter how much you have to push others out of the way. That’s why omega is the first letter of the Greek alphabet. Here’s my daily routine so you get an idea of how a real man outruns his rivals and his impending sense of doom: I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and I’m already at the gym. I’m on a bench, mid-rep, ready to start pumping iron from second numero uno. After I hit the gym, I hit the showers. I hit my workplace. I hit a brick wall at the age of 35 and have no idea what the meaning of life is. So what do I do? Read the stoics. You know Marcus Auerelias? Second only to me. After a good reading session (just as I am entering my first meeting of the day), I get a good scream in. Scientists have proven that screaming raises testosterone, makes you more of a savage, and induces fear into all those ‘civilized’ types at HR. That’s efficiency. Once my meetings are done, I start another business. One every day. How can you be a true entrepreneur if you stop entrepeneuing to actually commit to a project? You can’t. This is about business. And you know what every business needs? A website. This week’s sponsor Circle Location provides the ideal platform for [redacted]. Now that I’ve created a new and revolutionary product, sold it to the highest bidder, and made my ad plug, it’s time to hit the gym again. It’s delt, forearms, and neck day. I’m grinding. I’ve forsaken the touch of all women. I’m hard as hell. I’m a certified omega male on BStheBigMan.com. Get your certificate for only $2,599.99. And that’s how I absolutely crush my workouts every damn time. Then I eat dinner: November 2, 2023 Chicken. Broccoli. Rice. But mostly meat. It’s as important to eat as much meat as you can: it leaves less for the rivals and leaves less potential animal rivals all at once. That’s efficiency. At this point, most people would go home, go to bed, see their wife, their kids. I haven’t seen my kids in three months. They were taken from me in the divorce. I was promised every other weekend, but my week never ends. And you know what I say? Everyone can have kids, but not everyone is built for the grind. I’m out here till midnight. Till 1 a.m. Till 2 a.m. You ever heard of time zones? Someone else is always up, on their shit. I can’t let them have that. I’m always in competition mode. Every damn day. Grind. Sleep while you blink. That’s efficiency. It’s 4:30 a.m. Let’s do it again. And don’t forget to watch the latest episode of The Bro Scogan Experience with our good friend, the Love Doctor, Ben Maier: —B.S. 23 �πόλις THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 Notes on Dialogue Gossip By Vivian Miyakawa St. John’s College, a school that prides itself in great discussions about great books, excels in all sorts of dialogue. However, there is one integral art that continues to slide under the radar: gossip. This underrated rhetoric is objectively the best way to relay crucial information about friends and enemies alike. Unfortunately for would-be messengers of the gospel, a small group of people on a small campus can lead to some unseemly situations. Here are my top three tips on how to improve your gossip game and avoid certain embarrassment. 1. Location matters- The first and perhaps the most important tip is that in a small college, space is everything. Rumors fly faster than the winged boots of Hermes, and everything, from the maniacal to the mundane, is news. Now, as most have probably realized by now, the walls of your dorm rooms are not soundproof, so by gossiping in your dorm you’ve already established that you’d appreciate an audience. Tragically, your daily roommate ranting session is only heard by everyone else in your hall. To avoid this hapless mistake, try gossiping in the fishbowl instead! This way your rumors will reach a larger audience, and the echoey spaces of Mellon Hall add to the grandeur of your news. Two Faculty Members in Academic Robes Talking in McDowell Hall, Fall 1980 24 Male Students in Conversation in the Coffee Shop 2. Know your audience- Obviously, gossip is meant to be spread, but it’s an anonymous art. One needs their information circulating exactly where they want it: everywhere. That is, everywhere except for the ears of the unfortunate member of the Polity who’s found themselves on the receiving end of the rumor. With this in mind, be sure not to gossip around those untrustworthy Johnnies who will betray your noble goal and tell their friend about your campus-wide whispers. Luckily, all Johnnies are inherently trustworthy, having read Plato’s Republic and ascribed to the Socratic ideals of justice. 3. Embrace it- Honestly, it’s time to face the music. It’s St. John’s College. Everyone knows everyone. You’re not going to be able to gossip without a little bit of risk, and maybe that’s why it’s just so addicting! What’s the fun of spreading rumors without constantly glancing around, avoiding the subject of ridicule. Life is more interesting with a bit of paranoia, and nobody will ever notice your discreet head nods as you giggle and look over your shoulder. Besides, only the squirrels are really watching! �πόλις THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 SJC Mystery #3: Could Have Gone Be er By Benne Sco Photo from the Library of Congress This time, I’m going to ask you to watch the video first. It’ll be easier that way. The rain hasn’t stopped since I got here. It’s cold and heavy. I can hear it all the time. Normally I can’t hear the rain here. Somehow, it reminds me of home, out in the desert where the rain is rare and always loud. Hopefully it’ll end soon. I think I’m stuck here. I tried putting my arm back in the mailbox; nothing changed. I tried variations: the other arm, the symbol drawn backwards, the other boxes; nothing changed. There might be some other secret hidden in that basement, but every time I go back… I can’t make myself stay down there longer than a minute. It feels like I’m choking on mud. I’ve been trying to find out where I am between the mad panics. Almost everything is the same as Annapolis (though I’m suddenly paranoid that I’m missing obvious details: were the streetlamps always that color? Was the bay always so cold? I don’t know). There are just no people. I’d be fine if the world were entirely empty (that’s probably a lie), but it can’t be: I’ve been here long enough that the power should have gone out, but it still works; I swear I hear traffic in the distance; and things move. When I’m not looking, things move. The cars on the street change places. Lights in far away buildings turn on and off. I went to bed last night and the chairs in my apartment moved. All the changes make sense too. It’s not some random haunting where the tables are being flipped and glasses shattered. I know the way my roommates leave plates out, the exact messes and the chairs set up for a party. I just can’t see them. It’s as if everyone is living their normal lives, but I just can’t see them. Maybe it would be better to say: I’m not allowed to see them. And for all the information I can glean from random object movement, none of it seems communicative. I find no notes, no panicked tearing apart of my room in search of signs as to where I’ve gone, nothing. I can’t find anything on the internet since the time I disappeared. So let’s revise our hypothesis: maybe it’s not that the people are still there and I’m not allowed to see them, but that the world keeps on functioning without them. There’s only one way to tell the difference: science. So if you’re reading this, somewhere out there in the real world, I want to try an experiment: put a note in the mailbox with the symbol drawn on it. If you’ve got any ideas how the hell to get me out of here that would be great. But, honestly, I could use any form of human interaction right now. So a note hello is appreciated too. Consider me your interdimensional pen pal. One last thing: something is wrong with the clocks. My computer has been stuck at the same time ever since I got here (it’s not even roughly close: it’s saying the date is in 2016?). I can’t find my watch either. The clouds make it difficult to even tell where the sun is. Should have paid more attention in Ptolemy. I’m not even sure if I’ve been here for two days or three. I go to bed and wake up and it doesn’t seem to be the right time of day at all. It’s almost always dusk or night. So if you could include the date on your letters that’d be nice too. What the hell have I gotten into. 25 �πόλις THE GADFLY art i guess By Natalie Goldman A crack through which All the universe becomes clear, Painted shadows dancing, Arrested to the wall, Presents itself before me As the paradigm of humanity. I can’t help but wonder What all the toil and struggle Was really for, If not for this. Not a person, really, But an idea Is crucified on that wall. When I tilt my chin up To peer into heaven, I don’t see anything at all. I only hear The most cacophonous of silences. 26 November 2, 2023 �πόλις THE GADFLY November 2, 2023 Translation of Baudelaire’s “Élévation” By Luke Briner The alexandrine verse of the original has been converted into iambic hexameter, and the ABBA rhyme scheme of each stanza has been preserved. Above the languid pond, above the vale-etched plains, Above the mountains, forests, seas, and whirling clouds, Beyond the Sun, beyond the fine-aetheric shrouds, Beyond the confines of the Spheres’ celestial trains, Move you, my Soul, with consummate celerity, And, like a swimmer who swoons underneath each wave, Upon the Vastitude you joyfully engrave With an unspeakable and virile ecstasy. Make quick your exodus from these miasmic banes; Go sanctify yourself amid the air divine, And there do you imbibe, as an ambrosial wine, The halcyon fire that flows throughout the lucent planes. Behind the greatness of our troubles and our spleen That burden with their weight a pale life ever-bent, Beatified be they who by a swift Ascent Soar to those golden fields supernal and serene; They whose own contemplations, like the songbird’s wings, Take free and cheerful flight unto the morning skies, —Who hovers over life, and effortless descries The language of the flowers and of silent things! 27 �THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, staff, and alumni of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and thought provoking newsmagazine. Submissions sent to the Gadfly should either be in Google Docs or JPEG format. The deadline for submissions is the Friday prior to Photo by Abigail Poppleton publication. For more information, contact us via email at lbriner@sjc.edu. Photographs without a listed source are from the St. John's College Digital Archives. St. John's College owns the rights to these photographs. Illustrations without a listed source are by Takashi Mifune from Irasutoya.com and are free to use for non-commercial purposes. All rights to these illustrations still belong to the artist. 60 COLLEGE AVENUE ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 28 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XLV, Issue 3 Description An account of the resource Volume XLI, Issue 3 of The Gadfly. Published November 2, 2023. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Briner, Luke (Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2023-11-02 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource College students' writings--Periodicals College student newspapers and periodicals St. John's College--Periodicals Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly Vol XLV Issue 3 Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/9b21e5e3609df121c0ebaa41094361b2.pdf 735ce244532825e870446b2c3bf41254 PDF Text Text THE St. John’s College Annapolis, Maryland GADFLY Johnnie Culture November 27, 2023 Vol. XLV, Issue 4 �CONTENTS Letter from the Editor λόγος Johnnie Family Weekend: An Honest Review by Vivian Miyakawa The Truth of Containers by B.S. Thai and a Movie by Audrey Fox Leptoglossus corculus: Leaf-footed Pine Seed Bug by Louis Rosenberg συμπόσιον Gilbert’s Metaphysics of Magnetism by Luke Briner Mathematics and Seminar by Augustus Pananas Five Beautiful Passages from Plotinus arranged by Luke Briner πόλιςÊ St. John’s, A New Panem by Molly Sprout Competition at the College: The National Intercollegiate World Chopsticks Championship By B.S. SJC Mystery #4: A Deeper Dark by Bennett “Toxic” Scott vessels by Natalie Goldman The Statuary by Luke Briner Noodles: “The Pessimist” by Tamar Pinsky “The Student’s Lament”: A Poem From the SJC Archives 3 4 6 8 Dear Polity, We hope that you’ve had an enjoyable and rejuvenating Thanksgiving break! Please enjoy our fourth issue of the semester, and here’s to finishing it strong. Luke Briner Editor-in-chief 9 10 12 15 16 18 19 20 22 23 THE GADFLY STAFF COVER EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR STAFF Abigail Poppleton Luke Briner El’ad NicholsKaufman Meliha Anthony Vivian Miyakawa Tamar Pinsky THE STRUCTURE Λόγος holds news reports and narratives of immediate relevance to the Polity. The purpose here is to develop a shared reservoir of information relating to campus life and the community. ΣυμπόσιονÊoffers the opportunity for our readers to thoughtfully consider contrasting opinions regarding a particular topic. ΠόλιςÊserves as a platform for elevating voices in our community. Here we find letters to the editor, columns, cartoons, and submitted pieces. 2 Louis Rosenberg Benne Sco YOUT CONTRIBUTORS Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm Louis Rosenberg Molly Sprout Natalie Goldman Audrey Fox Augustus Pananas �λόγος THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 Johnnie families participate in the school’s Fall Festival (Photography by Abigail Poppleton) Johnnie Family Weekend: An Honest Review By Vivian Miyakawa For many students, college is their first taste of true freedom away from their families. Far from the stress and monotony of home life, suddenly the world is new and exciting. They have independence to live how they want, sleeping, cleaning, and working all on their own terms. However, this transition doesn’t mean complete isolation from the people they grew up with, especially with events such as Johnnie Family Weekend. During the weekend of October 27th-28th, friends and family were encouraged to make the trek out to Annapolis, Maryland and visit the students they had dropped off at college just a few months before. During this fun-filled weekend, students had the opportunity to drop their beloved family members off at a variety of educational and riveting activities, or in other words, “parent daycare.” Here, Johnnie friends and family got to gawk at the old books in the Greenfield Library, listen to the dean assure them that their children wouldn’t end up as deadbeat poets, and even participate in a mock seminar! Seeing the parents raising their hands all around the table, eager to interject with an “um, actually” moment, really shed light on why some of my classmates turned out the way they did. Another crucial aspect of family weekend was perfecting your white lies. It’s a valuable skill to be able to stand in the middle of the quad and assure your grandfather that “nobody really drinks or smokes here.” Flaunting your perfect rhetorical argument, you plaster on a wide smile and convince them that it’s your dream to become a lawyer one day. After all, if you charm them enough, they may just help you pay tuition. Just be sure that if your room is too messy, it means your roommate is “sick” and they surely wouldn’t want to catch whatever’s going around. Jokes aside, the best part of family weekend was watching students gleefully drag their family around campus, introducing them to all of their friends and seeing them genuinely excited to share their newfound home with the people they love. And, for the rest of us, well, it was our collective sigh of relief when the weekend was finally over. 3 �λόγος THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 The holy land and the disciples (Photo by B.S.) The Truth of Containers The Universal Form (MAJORÊPHILOSOPHICALÊDISCOVERY) Esteemed members of this philosophical institution, Modern philosophy, as you know, claims to have come far, rooting out so much superstition and error. But in our rapid motion towards truth, we have left behind a great many of the most important questions. If I may speak frankly, you are cowards. But I cannot blame you. For, until now, I too was afraid, a coward, a degenerate bound by the will of ‘University Boards’ and ‘Codes of Ethics.’ No more. We have hidden the most important lines of inquiry—Why is there something rather than nothing? What is truth? Who am I?—out of sheer embarrassment. Even worse, we have abandoned much of our realm of knowledge to the“hard sciences”. We have betrayed the presocratics1, having given up even the most important of all questions: What is the essential matter of the world? “Chemists” and “Physicists” claim to know of “atoms” 4 By B.S. and “quarks.” Let me ask you a simple question: have you ever seen an atom? A quark? No? Then how can they possibly be the essential matter of the world? How could there ever be anything important that was hidden away from us? It just makes no sense. My dear friends, science has misled you, has misled us all. And I am here to right that wrong. On a date which shall go down in history2 (11/1/2023), I made a trip: I went to Westfield mall. Amongst the Five Guys,3 the Hot Topic, and the emptygazing shoppers, I found something truly incredible. The Container Store. One could say it is located right next to the Crate and Barrel, but, in truth, it exists on an entirely separate metaphysical plane. To enter into it is to be confronted with truth. Walking around with my loyal companions,4 I started to feel a dread emptiness: was everything here a container? Was there no substance, no actuality, only a vast abyss waiting to be filled with all the excess accretions of capitalism so numerous that we must dedicate ourselves not only to �λόγος THE GADFLY collecting things but collecting things to collect things? There were boxes, chests, drawers, luggage, every sort of container, but then I turned and saw something: a candle? How could they be selling a candle at The Container Store? Right next to the candles were shirts. There were even fancy board games. Could it be that this store, so committed to its cause that it put ‘Container’ in its name, would betray itself and give us things which were not containers, but containeds? No. To believe such a betrayal would be akin to accusing the CIA of testing brainwashing techniques on American citizens from 1943 up to July 10th, 1972. It’s just not possible. I grabbed the candle and stared, whispering, then saying, then screaming: how are you a container? What do you contain? WHAT DO YOU CONTAIN?? Then, I had my revelation, given by the gods. I looked up and around Everything I saw was containers. Not just the boxes and chests. Candles contain smells. Shirts contain bodies. Fancy board games contain fun! Everything made sense. I began running through the store, imbibing in the wisdom of The Container Store founders Garrett Boone, Kip Tindell, and John Mullen.5 Measuring tapes contain the form of measurement. Mirrors contain reflections. That cute french press contains a possible future for my roommate and I6. My mind began to expand beyond its dogmatic state. Those children running around screaming contain potential. Their parents chasing after them contain regret. My companions and I and so too you my dear reader, we are all but mere containers for thoughts and guts. The Container Store was a container container, the highest of all forms7. To contain is to have is to be8. My peers, we’ve done it. I’ve done it. So long we have faced the dictum “Think outside the box.” Fools! Fools! All of them! There was never anything outside of the box to think of! Aristotle will remind us that after physics must come meta-physics, but what about containa-physics, encompassing top, bottom, and sides? Don’t you see? We were misled from the very beginning. Everything is container. Philosophy has been solved. Thank me later (but not too much later), B.S. November 27, 2023 Endnotes 1. The moment Socrates began asking his insipid questions, philosophy died. How could anything interesting survive genuine inquiry? No. Questions must be silenced. 2. Alongside the death of Socrates and The Bay of Pigs. 3. Fries were not nearly as good as I remember, clearly the decline of capitalism. 4. Audrey Fox, food reviewer and enthusiast of making fun of me, and Ben Maier, Love Doctor and man who greeted every employee by saying we were shopping for Christmas. 5. Our Container Story | Container Stories (containerstore.com) 6. In a small apartment on the Eastside of Seattle. There are birds singing. There’s a gentle breeze. The coffee’s ready. We have matching cableknit sweaters. It’s all there! And we can buy it all at The Container Store! 7. There were also containers just for pasta. Truly revolutionary that containers can be so object specific. 8. “Rabbi Zeira says that there is another method [for acquiring an elephant]: One brings four vessels [which must, of course, be containers] and places them under the elephant’s feet, and he thereby acquires it like any other item that is inside the buyer’s vessels” [Tractate Kiddushin, 25b, tr. William Davidson] 5 �λόγος THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 Thai and a Movie By Audrey Fox Are you looking to film a 21st century Annapolis reboot of the all-time classic The Godfather? I too would be a little suspicious if I were told the best place in Annapolis to reenact the classic restaurant assassination was Carslon’s Thai Kitchen, but hear me out; it fulfills many of the aesthetic and logistical requirements that unfortunately none of the Italian restaurants in Annapolis possess. It’s quiet, customers keep to themselves, and the food is great. There are also some great stand alone tables in the restaurant that I am sure would easily break upon impact with a falling body, making for a great location to stage a cold hearted mob assassination. Upon arrival at the location, I was struck by the various means of escape I could utilize for the getaway car. Not only is West Street an obvious choice, there are numerous side roads in the vicinity that could also aid in a “stealth” based approach. Unfortunately I could not test this, as my editor is a poor driver, and almost got us killed while pulling out of the driveway. There are also two entrances to the restaurant, which I am certain could come in handy. Inside the restaurant there are two spaces that constitute the main dining room. There is the check out area, which is connected to the vestibule of the doorway, and there is also the seating area that is partitioned off by a partial wall. Both booths and tables are available, however it seems that the majority of customers carry out, meaning it will be empty inside. I was staking out the location with my editor to get a sense of the atmosphere. I had to come back in the morning as I forgot the most important part: the bathroom. Oh, and of course the donuts as well. It soon became apparent that we would have to stage the bathroom scene at an alternate location, as the toilet was not an old fashioned one with the pull chain. Otherwise everything was perfect. The interior 6 has that small, hole in the wall vibe that was essential to the assassination. Numerous vases line the wall, the lighting is warm, the only people sitting near us were an old hard of hearing couple and a young girl watching Minecraft videos. I would have some ethical issues with staging such a violent scene near one so young, but perhaps if she had headphones on this issue could be averted. By the way—to any freshman or other Johnnies who have not been to Carlson’s and love Thursday night donuts—these donuts are 10x better. I recommend a good old chocolate glaze donut, but the cronuts (croissant donut) are also a fun option. Now, let me get to the good stuff: the food. We started out with fried tofu. Very solid, a hard appetizer to mess up. I had the red curry with pork, and I found it very delicious and perhaps better than Lemongrass, which is often hailed as the best Thai in Annapolis. Their drunken noodles are also out of this world. The noodles are fresh and the flavor has a �THE GADFLY λόγος November 27, 2023 little kick but nothing too overpowering. My editor loves Carlson’s, but unfortunately the meal he got while we were staking out the location (he only referred to it as the #7) was not to his liking. We also got the Thai iced tea—which was good, but nothing remarkable. The only food they order in the Godfather is the veal. There is no veal at Carlson’s, however I think any of the curry’s would be a good substitute. I have been told by my editor that my budget proposal for recreating the Godfather has not been approved. I guess it makes sense. What sort of mobster movie would take place in Annapolis at a Thai restaurant? We may never know. But in the meantime, I highly recommend you check out Carlson’s Thai Kitchen. Images by Benne Sco , Audrey Fox, and Taste of Cinema 7 �λόγος THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 Leptoglossus corculus: Leaf-footed Pine Seed Bug By Louis Rosenberg About the many bugs that are leaf-t largely undescribed. I saw this leaf-footed bug on my friend’s car last week, so naturally I took a picture of it. After my initial plan for this bug article fell through, I came back to that picture and began working to identify its subject. I began my search by looking up leaf-footed bugs, family Coreidae, which seemed to be the best starting place for this specimen and its jagged hindleg protrusions. Since I found it in Maryland, I headed over to the Maryland Biodiversity Project website, which is a large database of animals (and plants and fungi) found throughout Maryland, including common names, scientific names, and pictures of specimens of each species. After noting that the leaf-footed pine seed bug, L. corculus, most closely matched my specimen, I headed back to my favorite search engine to try and find more information on this species. I found very little. Michigan State University published a short article from 2006 that focused on the agricultural impacts of the species, but there was little description of the bug (only the creature’s size, the white stripe on its back, and its hind leg shape were described). Its living habits were only described insofar as they impact humans — they may overwinter in human homes, causing minor nuisance, and thus the authors flatly recommend homeowners “destroy them or vacuum them up.” Beyond the MSU article, most of the remaining search results were for a closely related species, L. occidentalis or the western conifer seed bug. One of those links, from Pennsylvania State University, led to an excitingly detailed article on that species, which included a note that L. occidentalis can easily be confused for other Leptoglossus species, including L. corculus. L. corculus is a darker brown than L. occidentalis, and the inner and outer portions of their hind leg expansions can differ in size, as they do on the bug I found, which further confirmed my identification of this specimen. A Wikipedia article for L. occidentalis also comes up, which includes sections on the insect’s description and range. The L. corculus Wikipedia article, on the other hand, 8 contains only two sentences: “Leptoglossus corculus, the leaf-footed pine seed bug, is a species of leaffooted bug in the family Coreidae. It is found in North America.” Why is so little information about L. corculus available? Perhaps because it is so innocuous to humans: while its relative is expanding its range, and thus accruing ecological concerns, L. corculus itself does nothing worse than irritating homeowners. Perhaps it’s just because there’s so many species of insects in the world that it’s foolish of me to hope for detailed information on each and every one of them. While I feel a little sad for every underresearched insect that I spot, it also reminds me of the glory of the natural world. There is, and always will be, so much out there that’s unknown. We can only strive to find it. Sources: ・https://extension.psu.edu/western-conifer-seed-bug ・https://www.marylandbiodiversity.com/viewChecklist.php? family=Coreidae ・https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/leaf_footed_pine_seed_bug ・https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_conifer_seed_bug ・https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leptoglossus_corculus �λόγος THE GADFLY Gilbert’s Metaphysics of Magnetism By Luke Briner In his treatise De Magnete (On the Loadstone), William Gilbert expounds his theory of the spiritual nature of magnetism, attributing the essential behavior of magnetically active bodies not to the physical properties of body in itself, but to the “effused immaterial forms beyond the limits of the body” (p. 61). How can we understand the magnetic force of these bodies as not a physical but a metaphysical phenomenon, and what implications does that understanding have for the way that we must think about all magnetic bodies? Gilbert begins his investigation by observing some of the empirical phenomena which loadstones (naturally occurring magnetic bodies) exhibit. By taking a loadstone and shaving it down into a spheroid, subsequently called a terrella and “a true homogenous offspring of the earth and…of the same shape” (p. 56), he observes that, by the movement of a needle or iron wire along its surface, a north and south pole may always be observed along its equator with opposite directions and tendencies to each other. These two poles, however, despite being contrary to each other, are at the same time attracted to each other. Gilbert demonstrates this by showing that the north pole of a terrella, when suspended in water such that movement is easy and free, will actively align itself with the south pole of the earth itself, and that the south pole will thereby do the inverse (p. 58). This attraction to the contrary pole, either to that of the earth itself or to that of any other magnetic body, is in fact so great that poles of the same kind will actively repel each other: if two loadstones are set against each other such that the pole of one is put toward the same pole of the other “one stone repels the other” (p. 59) until the proper alignment of opposites previously observed is restored. Gilbert attributes all of this behavior not to a merely physical or mechanical but to a spiritual cause. While it’s true that “not from a mathematical point does the force of the stone emanate, but from the parts themselves” (p. 56), the parts themselves possess such a force at all solely by virtue of the “effused immaterial forms” (p. 61) of the souls which inhabit them. Just as many of the ancients believed that “not without a divine and animate nature could movements so diverse be produced” (p. 60) in the November 27, 2023 great bodies of the universe, so Gilbert attributes a similar nature to magnetic globes large and small, since only by such a nature could their seemingly active movements and tendencies be possible or intelligible. The implications of this assertion for the ways in which we can conceive of the general nature of magnetic bodies can be easily drawn out by applying the methods of the differential and integral calculus of our Junior Mathematics tutorial to them. Gilbert demonstrates that when a loadstone is split apart, the parts thus divided will naturally and immediately seek to reunite with those parts to which they were originally connected when the stone was whole, with it the one being themselves a north and the other a south pole (p. 59). But say that we divide the entire loadsone, “at one fell swoop” (Galileo, Two New Sciences, NE 93), into a “continuum out of absolutely indivisible atoms” (ibid). Let the whole original loadstone be M, and each infinitesimal atom be called dm (to borrow the language from Leibniz’ New Method). Now in each infinitely fine cut made to the unified loadstone, there must, by the same tendency demonstrated above in the case of the splitting of one into two, a tendency for each to unify with their adjacent atoms, since they were connected when the loadstone was still a unity. From this it’s evident that there is an infinite series of north and south poles already and always contained within the loadstone as present in each dm, such that ∫dm = M; in other words, each loadstone, itself ensouled, contains within itself a virtual infinity of equally ensouled magnetic particles. A merely physical division couldn’t possibly, on Gilbert’s account, in any way alter the polar nature of each dm, since this nature has no physical cause in the first place. Neither does the duality implicit in each dm necessarily containing a north and south pole contradict their atomized indivisibility, by the same distinction between the physical and the metaphysical explained before. Hence we come to a similar conclusion to Leibniz, then, that “there is a world of creatures…of souls in the least part of matter” (Monadology, §66), with each magnetic soul being immaterial, indestructible, and causing or helping to cause all physical phenomena observed in magnetic bodies. 9 �συμπόσιον THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 Mathematics in Seminar By Augustus Pananas Of all the elements of the Program, the mathematics tutorial is perhaps the one which requires the most explanation. Not that the value of the tutorial in itself isn't obvious (at least to the extent that you take it seriously). People like myself, who always hated math classes previously, find themselves delighted with the clarity, orderliness, and comprehensibility of Euclid. Even the prospect of calculus in future years and dark hints from the seniors about some kind of dark sorcerer called “Lobachevsky” aren't enough to abate the wonder of this new way of thinking about mathematics. The experiences of subsequent years only confirm this feeling. What is perhaps less clear is the way in which this miraculous experience fits in with the rest of the Program. If the central work of St. John's takes place in seminar (and this I believe wholeheartedly), how does the mathematics tutorial serve that work? The content of the mathematics tutorial doesn't seem to aid much in the project of seminar. If the language tutorial teaches us how to utilize the tools of language in a meaningful way, laboratory helps us to use our observational and theory-forming skills, and chorus and music tutorial connect our work to the experience of the beautiful and sublime, what does mathematics do? As much as some (myself included) might like, the work of seminar is simply not reducible to propositional argumentation. And since many of us don't study any formal logic at St John's (a travesty which is too vast to be addressed here), the parallelism with syllogistic reasoning isn't very helpful either. While the kind of rigorous thinking which the study of mathematics produces is something worth mastering in itself, it is something I see applied to the work of seminar only rarely, even by the very best Johnnies. The topics of seminar simply don't lend themselves to the same sort of thinking that occurs in the mathematics tutorial. So what is it for? I suspect that the answer lies more in the effect mathematics (especially public mathematical demonstration) has on the psyche of the 10 student. In particular, it has two effects which, if applied to the work of seminar, address a pair of failings to which Johnnies are prone. First, mathematical demonstration requires a precision of language which is extremely helpful in seminar. This is distinct from the rigor of its ideas. Mathematical demonstration is rigorous in that all of its claims can be said to follow immediately from those that came before. If an unsupported claim is made, anyone who is paying attention can immediately point it out. This is extremely powerful, but is not the feature which is important here. What matters here is the fact that in a good demonstration, it is necessary to always make clear exactly what one is referring to. All of us have had the experience of watching (or even presenting) a disastrous demonstration in which someone makes repeated reference to “it” or “that one” or “the thing” without clarifying the objects being referred to. It simply doesn't work. Mathematical demonstration is incompatible with that kind of imprecision. The application of this kind of precision can be immensely helpful in seminar. Too often a conversation is hindered because someone proposes an idea (sometimes even a great idea) in terms too imprecise to move the conversation forward. At such times, reminding oneself of the constraints of demonstration (if you can't say it, you don't know it) can be immensely helpful. The topics of seminar are vast and sweeping; the thoughts which it provokes often have a grandeur which seems to evaporate on the lips. Grounding ourselves in the simplicity of speech that our shared experience in mathematics gives can be a lifesaver when we fall into the trap of trying to say everything all at once by forcing us to use meaningful language. If our mathematical experience can help prevent us from trying to say too much, it can also save us from falling into another classic trap: saying nothing at all. In seminar, it's easy to fill a silence by rambling about nothing at all. Because a discussion of Plato or Dante or Locke isn't a proposition, it is �συμπόσιον THE GADFLY possible to spend a great deal of time rearranging the terms of the discussion in such a way that it produces no new ideas at all. This can happen both intentionally and accidentally, and all (or at least most) of us are guilty of it from time to time. It's less awkward than sitting in silence, but it's even more useless. And if it's interjected into a conversation which is actually progressing smoothly, it can be a massive hindrance to the flow of the argument. While this problem will almost certainly be with us for a long time to come, I'm willing to bet that it is not worse than it is because of our time spent with mathematics. While seminar may be fertile ground for using a great number of words to say nothing, the November 27, 2023 same is not true of mathematics. When you go up to present a proposition, you either know it or you don't. There is no faking it. That feeling of standing at the board with a piece of chalk in your hand and your foot in your mouth is not easy to forget, and it reminds us that there is a real difference between being able to speak and having something to say. You can talk about a proposition all you want, but if you can't do the proof, there's no way to hide it. I suspect we all carry at least a bit of that feeling (or the vicarious version of it, for those demigods who have never flubbed a proof) with us into our other classes. It's a feeling we could stand to bring to mind a little more. Female Student at Blackboard during Mathematics Tutorial in 1961 11 �THE GADFLY συμπόσιον November 27, 2023 Five Beautiful Passages from Plotinus Arranged by Luke Briner All passages are from the MacKenna-Page translation as produced in Encyclopædia Britannica’s 1952 Great Books edition of the Enneads. -LB IV.8.1. Many times it has happened: Lifted out of the body into myself; becoming external to all other things and self-encentered; beholding a marvellous beauty; then, more than ever, assured of community with the loftiest order; enacting the noblest life, acquiring identity with the divine; stationing within It by having attained that activity; poised above whatsoever within the Intellectual is less than the Supreme: yet, there comes the moment of descent from intellection from reasoning, and after that sojourn in the divine, I ask myself how it happens that I can now be descending, and how did the soul ever enter into my body, the soul which, even within the body, is the high thing it has shown itself to be. I.6.9-10. But how are you to see into a virtuous soul and know its loveliness? Withdraw into yourself and look. And if you do not find yourself beautiful yet, act as does the creator of a statue that is to be made beautiful: he cuts away here, he smoothes there, he makes this line lighter, this other purer, until a lovely face has grown upon his work. So do you also: cut away all that is excessive, straighten all that is crooked, bring light to all that is overcast, labour to make all one glow of beauty and never cease “chiselling your statue,”1 until there shall shine out on you from it the godlike 1 splendour of virtue, until you shall see “the perfect goodness surely established in the stainless shrine.”2 When you know that you have become this perfect work, when you are self-gathered in the purity of your being, nothing now remaining that can shatter than inner unity, nothing from without clinging to the authentic man, when you find yourself wholly true to your essential nature, wholly that only veritable Light which is not measured by space, not narrowed to any circumscribed form nor again diffused as a thing void of term, but ever unmeasurable as something greater than all measure and more than all quantity—when you perceive that you have grown to this, you are now become very vision: now call up all your confidence, strike forward but a step—you need a guide no longer—strain, and see. VI.7.36. Knowledge of The Good or contact with it, is the allimportant: this—we read—“is the grand learning,”3 the “learning” we are to understand, not of looking towards it but attaining, first, some knowledge of it. We come to this learning by analogies, by abstractions, by our understanding of its subsequents, of all that is derived from The Good, by the upward steps towards it. Purification has The Good for goal; so the virtues, all right ordering, ascent within the Intellectual, settlement therein, banqueting upon the divine—by these methods one becomes, to self and to all else, at once seen and seer; identical with Being and Intellectual-Principle and “the entire living all,”4 we no longer see the Supreme as an external; we are near now, the next is That and it is close at hand, radiant above the Intellectual. Here, we put aside all the learning; disciplined to this pitch, established in beauty, the quester holds knowledge still of the ground he rests on but, Plotinus is referencing Phaedrus, 252b7 here. Although the quotation marks are absent in MacKenna-Page’s version, I have chosen to follow Armstrong’s lead and add them in order to make that reference’s fact clear to the reader, and will do the same when necessary going forward. 2 Phaedrus, 254b7. 3 Republic, 505a2. 4 Timaeus, 31b1. 12 �THE GADFLY συμπόσιον November 27, 2023 suddenly, swept beyond it all by the very crest of the wave of Intellect surging beneath, he is lifted and sees, never knowing how; the vision floods the eyes with light, but it is not a light showing some other object, the light is itself the vision. No longer is there thing seen and light to show it, no longer Intellect and object of Intellection; this is the very radiance that brought both Intellect and Intellectual object into being for the later use and allowed them to occupy the quester’s mind. With This he himself becomes identical, with that radiance whose Act is to engender Intellectual-Principle, not losing in that engendering but for ever unchanged, the engendered coming to be simply because that Supreme exists. If there were no such principle above change, no derivative could rise. VI.9.8. Thus the Supreme as containing no otherness is ever present with us; we with it when we put otherness away. It is not that the Supreme reaches out to us seeking our communion: we reach towards the Supreme; it is we that become present. We are always before it: but we do not always look: thus a choir, singing set in due order about the conductor, may turn away from that centre to which all should attend: let it but face aright and it sings with beauty, present effectively. We are ever before the Supreme—cut off is utter dissolution; we can no longer be—but we do not always attend: when we look, our Term is attained; this is rest; this is the end of singing ill; effectively before Him, we lift a choral song full of God. Bust of Plotinus from the Ostiense Museum in Rome, VI.9.11. This is the purport of that rule of our Mysteries: Nothing Divulged to the Uninitiate: the Supreme is not to be made a common story, the holy things may not be uncovered to the stranger, to any that has not himself attained to see. There were not two; beholder was one with beheld; it was not a vision compassed but a unity apprehended. The man formed by this mingling with the Supreme must—if he only remember—carry its image impressed upon him: he is become the Unity, nothing within him or without inducing any diversity; no movement now, no passion, no outlooking desire, once this ascent is achieved; reasoning is in abeyance and all Intellection and even, to dare the word, the very self; caught away, filled with God, he has in perfect stillness attained isolation; all the being calmed, he Italy (Source: worldhistory.org, CC BY-SA license) turns neither to this side nor to that, not even inwards to himself; utterly resting he has become very rest. He belongs no longer to the order of the beautiful; he has risen beyond beauty; he has overpassed even the choir of the virtues; he is like one who, having penetrated the inner sanctuary, leaves the temple images behind him—though these become once more first objects of regard when he leaves the holies; for There his converse was not with image, not with trace, but with the very Truth in the view of which all the rest is but of secondary concern. There, indeed, it was scarcely vision, unless of a mode unknown; it was a going forth from the self, a simplifying, a renunciation, a reach towards contact and at the same time a repose, a meditation towards adjustment. This is the only seeing of what lies within 13 �συμπόσιον THE GADFLY the holies: to look otherwise is to fail. Things here are signs; they show therefore to the wiser teachers how the supreme God is known; the instructed priest reading the sign may enter the holy place and make real the vision of the inaccessible. Even those that have never found entry must admit the existence of that invisible; they will know their source and Principle since by principle they see principle and are linked with it, by like they have contact with like and so they grasp all of the divine that lies within the scope of mind. Until the seeing comes they are still craving something, that which only the vision can give; this Term, attained only by those that have overpassed all, is the AllTranscending. It is not in the soul’s nature to touch utter nothingness; the lowest descent is into evil and, so far, into non-being: but to utter nothing, never. When November 27, 2023 the soul begins again to mount, it comes not to something alien but to its very self; thus detached, it is not in nothingness but in itself; self-gathered it is no longer in the order of being; it is in the Supreme. There is thus a converse in virtue of which the essential man outgrows Being, becomes identical with the Transcendent of Being. The self thus lifted, we are in the likeness of the Supreme: if from that heightened self we pass still higher—image to archetype—we have won the Term of all our journeying. Fallen back again, we awaken the virtue within until we know ourselves all order once more; once more we are lightened of the burden and move by virtue towards Intellectual-Principle and through the Wisdom in That to the Supreme. This is the life of gods and of the godlike and blessed among men, liberation from the alien that besets us here, a life taking no pleasure in the things of earth, the passing of solitary to solitary. Pictured on le : Portrait of Stephen Mackenna, translator of Plotinus, drawn in 1907 by Leo Mielziner Excerpt from a 1907 journal entry of MacKenna’s: "Whenever I look into Plotinus I feel always all the old trembling fevered longing: it seems to me that I must be born for him, and that somehow someday I must have nobly translated him: my heart, untravelled, still to Plotinus turns and drags at each remove a lengthening chain. It seems to me that him alone of authors I understand by inborn sight..." 14 �πόλις THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 Noodles: “The Pessimist” By Tamar Pinsky 15 �πόλις THE GADFLY SJC Mystery #4: A Deeper Dark By Benne “Toxic” Sco I was in Mellon 206, looking for a strike lighter and a bunsen burner (I have no idea how long the power is going to last). I haven’t been going out much. The rain was always cold, but I’m fine with the cold. My problem was how loud and blinding it could be; in all my paranoia, the thought of not being able to see or hear properly sounded, to say the least, unappealing. But I couldn’t sit inside forever (I’m slowly discovering all the different ways you can go crazy), so I went on a little adventure in pursuit of the thing my little caveman brain can understand best: fire! Lights turned off and on in a few of the windows I passed, the cars were in different locations despite never moving, all the usual haunts to make me question the stability of my mind/reality. I checked my phone out of habit: no texts (despite having service?), and the date still and always the same: somewhere between midnight and 8, April 7th, 2016. I kept walking. After I’d been in Mellon for a while, I found myself with a bunsen burner in one hand and a problem in the other: how was I supposed to get a fuel source from the lab to my apartment? For all the evidence to the contrary that I have provided you dear reader, I am not entirely a fool. Having a propane tank in my apartment that has one exit and no windows which can open in a world where firefighters definitely will not answer my call? That’s fool central. So I decided to light it then and there instead. About three seconds later, the lights went out. Now, someone who has actively put themselves in the position of summoning powers beyond our comprehension would be well served by having a good survival instinct. I, naturally, do not; when it comes to fight or flight, I freeze. So I stood, unmoving, trying to make out the contours of the darkness. At first, I only heard the rain and the burner. The burner, about a minute in, went out. After about three or four minutes (long enough that I could have just been hallucinating), I began to hear the scratching, a rhythmic cutting in the darkness. It was coming from the next room. 16 November 27, 2023 There is only one thing to do in such a situation, once more a correlate of ‘Don’t do anything that would start a horror movie’: if you’re in a horror movie situation, do something absolutely antithetical to being murdered. Options include: break dancing, yodeling, reciting the declaration of independence, etc. My demon prevention method of choice? Britney Spears. Toxic. Certainly has some bad vibes, but who ever got stabbed to something so danceable? Now, I didn’t sing too loud at first for obvious reasons, but once you get to the chorus, brother you cannot stop yourself from going for it. I put on a little show for those demons: choreography, high notes, drama. And by God, it must have worked; I finished singing, and there was no more scratching. I stood in silence, waiting to hear the screams of the damned. Nothing, nothing so pure it started to hurt my ears. I looked around: why the hell did silence hurt? My head felt like it was expanding, pressing out at the temples. I tried coughing and it was swallowed up. It was so very quiet. Out the window, I could see the stars. The panes were clear. The rain had stopped. Well I—to speak like my good ol’ grandmother—just about jumped for joy. What the hell happened? What the hell kind of explanation could there be? What the hell did I care for an explanation? The rain was done and the air was warm! The lights turned back on (I only jumped a little when they did). Everything was gonna be alright! There was only one problem: I had to check where the scratching had come from. It might get me killed, but there might be answers. This was what I found: �πόλις THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 St. John’s, A New Panem By Molly Sprout Recently my friends and I were imagining a Hunger Games-type situation at St. John’s; a fight to the death with the entire student body. While entertaining to think of, and maybe even intriguing (Reality Club... maybe something to work on?), there was a thought that came to me: we are all incredibly weak. And yes, this is ignoring some of the student body that does really have their shit together and could probably kill a lot of us with their bare hands. But for the most part our weakness is accurate and unavoidable. And this isn’t just due to the student body comprising mostly of previous high school nerds, and we can hear why in the conversations we have outside of class. Does any of this sound familiar? “I haven’t eaten anything all day” “I only got three hours of sleep last night” “I’ve just been drinking coffee and eating the dining hall fries for the past week” “I had ten (10) shots of Jack Daniels last night” “I have had bronchitis for eight weeks but will continue to smoke half a pack a day”— this campus is malnourished, under slept, and sick. With our college’s motto being “Books and a Balance” one would think that we would attempt to execute this. Our failure to do so raises the question of what kind of balance the student body is seeking. If it is not the balance of a healthy life with an immersive study of books, then what exactly is it? With the obsession with acting thoughtlessly and unhealthily along with the need for our peer’s eyes, it seems as though we are seeking the balance of someone on a tightrope, teetering on the thin line we have created for ourselves, made for the spectacle of it. Because it is not that we are just drinking too much or eating and sleeping too little, but that it is done in tandem with scholarly perfection. It is an attempt to do the impossible; reduce your body and health to Student Studying in McDowell Hall nothingness while turning in a beautiful essay on time. We must be the impossible to everyone we know! And as glamorous as that sounds, being a functional alcoholic with a great Don Rag, it is impossible. We can try to convince ourselves that the essay we turned in after seventy-two hours of not sleeping is good, but it really isn’t. Instead of reaching perfection and self-destruction at the same time all we have done is hurt our bodies and our minds without anything to show for it. As much as we avoid this conclusion it is inevitable, and we can all see it when we cry to our friends about not being able to keep going as tired as you are. To offer a solution for this is to throw a stone in a glass house. I smoke an incredible amount and absolutely do not work out. So, really what I have done is offer up useless critique on a mass problem of young people in academia. But I will say that each and every one of you would benefit from drinking a glass of whole milk and eating some vegetables. 17 �πόλις THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 The Statuary By Luke Briner They stand abidingly amid the sun-enhalcyoned shrouds That diadem the lofty, lonesome mount As though the eminences of a never-passing age, Formidable and unoblivioned. I’ve longed so much to know Myself the secrets of that conclave’s beatific life— No longer to meander through its ranks In idle fancy, but to offer up this trembling flesh Unto its highest rigor, and be free From all that lies below. Beneath this sacred crest partitioning the long-estranged Hypostases of timelessness and toil A worthless nature writhes, unidylled, frantically inert, And aching for a self-subverted peace. Is that my destiny? Or does a higher motion dwell within this dismal breast, By which I could endeavor to endure In still submiss the apogean kiln that immolates All false debris, and fires the faultless form That hides inside of me? 18 �πόλις THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 Take all that’s good within: outstretch, unfold the tiny point Of infinite and life-enthralling light That silently reposes in the center of the squalls And miseries of its posterity Into a puissant shape, Epitomized in its unique perfection, as its kin, Atop an undeclining golden age; Would that ascendancy be mine?—or would I, thrown aside As an extraneous vessel, only watch Its heavenward escape? Alighted effortlessly on the yawning azure apse The Luminary, cool and pontiff-like, Presides above the praises of her progeny, and sighs A living redolence that sweeps them up In transcendental rite; As she to them, so they to me—and I in kind aspire To carve upon the all-anointed plane A self-derived exemplar that, unmoving, moves the world, And, surpliced by the noon, behold her with An uneliding sight. I have withdrawn into myself and looked, and I have found The dim quiescence of a once-held spouse; There lies the one true work made for these transience-addled hands: To grasp the chisel, and restore him to His early, godlike shine. For you and you alone, my Critic, do I make myself At once the Statue and the Cypriot— For nothing but the hope of finding in your loving eyes My truth and legacy, forever fixed Within your stainless shrine. 19 �πόλις THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 Competition, Victory, Joy. (Picture by Meliha Anthony) Competition at the College: The National Intercollegiate World Chopsticks Championship By B.S. Dear friends competitors, You are certainly aware that society is presently going down the drain. But why? Scroll long enough on any Tik-Tok feed (past the incessant dancing, stolen jokes, and… is that just almost porn? Why?) you will find the same answer given by the same people: men variously to the side of the camera, a microphone in their face, will tell you that masculinity is dead (the so called ‘Bro Scogan Experientia’ is the prime example of this). People tell you to be tougher, harder, fight more wolves. And, to be honest with you dear reader, it’s boring. The man20 o-sphere’s solution is returning to something more primal, less soyboy; I, as the soyboy philosopher king that I am, know that they are only striving after shadows; we must strive after truth. And the truth is competition. The immediate, weak-minded assumption is that competition exists purely in and for itself; the thoughtful, big-brained solution sees that competition solves every single problem ever and never has any issues thank you very much Adam B. Smith. And let me tell you: St. John’s College has entirely lost its competitive edge. We make our college ‘hard’ by �πόλις THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 say pressure makes diamonds, they are not going far enough: enough pressure makes a black hole, strong enough to swallow up even Einstein. Imagine the money from the reality TV version. And to prove my commitment to this cause, I have begun the competing process with a new and great competition, not just for the college, but for the whole world: The Intercollegiate National World Chopsticks Championship: having enabling, but what is enabling when everyone and their cousin gets enabled? We claim to have a rigorous program, but we don’t even require a single class in Business Administration (the most difficult course)? We take our name, our calling professors tutors, calling evaluations don rags from Oxford, the most prestigious school in the world. The first step to being truly competitive is to take another Oxi tradition: post grades on public bulletins. “But B.S.! We don’t concentrate on grades at the College!” Shut up. What kind of world is it where we are not comparing GPAs? What is there to compete over when our unit of measurement is the number of longing looks directed your way during a semester (2)? And god damn it, why do we only have to be graded on our classes? We need to be truly expansive in our evaluations. We need grade postings for everyone as a waltz partner (C+), as a friend (A–), as a lover (F). You try kissing like a fish and being publicly ridiculed for it; you will change. You will evolve. But why stop there? Everything done by everyone should be rated all the time to build pressure and spite. Seminar points should get a rating from both tutors on the spot (a la gymnastics); papers should be read aloud and critiqued at random; intramural games should be made overly violent and obsessive (see how small the steps we have to take are!). Forget renovating the dorms: destroy them all and make one giant Naval Academy building: eat and be judged, sleep and be judged, shower and be judged, judged even for your judgement. When they Entirely seriously, B.S. 21 �πόλις THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 vessels By Natalie Goldman The channels for spirit Are delicately constructed. Lying in a well-worn path, They drive passion to madness. Nobody, though, would doubt The hardiness of the walls themselves, Keeping in even the most Base and heinous of rages. There is no seeping out. Someday, blood will be replaced. They will change it for something More beautiful and terrifying. When that day comes, We will break down our barriers And run into each other’s arms. 22 �πόλις THE GADFLY November 27, 2023 The Student's Lament from the St. John's College Yearbook; Author and Year Unknown Hope you all had some wonderful food over Thanksgiving Break! 23 �THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, staff, and alumni of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and thought provoking newsmagazine. Submissions sent to the Gadfly should either be in Google Docs or JPEG format. The deadline for submissions is the Friday prior to (Photography by Abigail Poppleton) publication. For more information, contact us via email at lbriner@sjc.edu. Photographs without a listed source are from the St. John's College Digital Archives. St. John's College owns the rights to these photographs. Illustrations without a listed source are by Takashi Mifune from Irasutoya.com and are free to use for non-commercial purposes. All rights to these illustrations still belong to the artist. 60 COLLEGE AVENUE ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 24 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XLV, Issue 4 Description An account of the resource Volume XLI, Issue 4 of The Gadfly. Published November 27, 2023. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Briner, Luke (Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2023-11-27 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource College students' writings--Periodicals College student newspapers and periodicals St. John's College--Periodicals Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly Vol XLV Issue 4 Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/ec1154044e81de268438ee12fe932344.pdf 0e029f17242bed854547f9f80d637d9a PDF Text Text THE St. John’s College Annapolis, Maryland GADFLY A Talented Polity December 13, 2023 Vol. XLV, Issue 5 �Letter from the Editor CONTENTS Λόγος : news reports & narratives regarding immediate campus life Recap: KWP’s The Duchess of Malfi by Vivian Miyakawa 3 Recap: Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind by Vivian Miyakawa 3 The Philosopher’s Phone by Tamar Pinsky 4 ΣυμπόσιονÊ:Êcontrasting opinions on various topics for thought A Plotinian Reading of the Myth of Ganymede by Luke Briner 6 ΠόλιςÊ:Êvoices of the community, including poetry, cartoons, etc. Dear Polity, Please enjoy our fifth and final issue of the semester! I want to extend my deep personal gratitude to our entire staff for all the hard work they’ve done, and especially to our managing editor, Mr. Nichols-Kaufman, our layout designer, Ms. Nghiêm, and our photographer, Ms. Poppleton. And thank you, readers, for your enduring support and care. Semester Wrapped by Vivian Miyakawa 13 The SJC Mystery #5: Rocking the Boat by Bennett “Ahhhh” Scott 14 Noodles:“They’ll Never Find Me Here!” by Tamar Pinsky 15 How Ethereal Bisexualism Ruined Obama by Dr. Benjamin Raymor Maier 16 The Waffliad by B.A. Scott 18 Translation of Baudelaire’s “Le Balcon” by Luke Briner 26 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF exultation by Natalie Goldman 27 The Seraph by Luke Briner 27 MANAGING EDITOR THE STRUCTURE Luke Briner Editor-in-chief THE GADFLY STAFF COVER STAFF ΠόλιςÊserves as a platform for elevating voices in our community. Here we find letters to the editor, columns, cartoons, and submitted pieces. 2 Luke Briner El’ad NicholsKaufman Meliha Anthony Vivian Miyakawa Λόγος holds news reports and narratives of immediate relevance to the Polity. The purpose here is to develop a shared reservoir of information relating to campus life and the community. ΣυμπόσιονÊoffers the opportunity for our readers to thoughtfully consider contrasting opinions regarding a particular topic. Abigail Poppleton Tamar Pinsky Louis Rosenberg Benne Sco YOUT CONTRIBUTORS Students Reading Newspapers in the Woodward Hall Library Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm Natalie Goldman Dr. Benjamin Raymor Maier �THE GADFLY Λόγος December 13, 2023 Recap: Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind By Vivian Miyakwa Actors Kasdorf & Mnisi; Photo by Segyung Jung Recap: KWP’s The Duchess of Malfi By Vivian Miyakwa Fondly described as a three-hour revenge tragedy fever dream, The Duchess of Malfi was truly a show worth experiencing yourself. The passion, preparation, and care that went into this play permeated through every scene, capturing the audience’s attention and leading them along through every twist and turn. A quick summary is hardly enough to do justice to the full dramatic hilarity of the plot, but for those who didn’t get the chance to attend, it’ll have to be enough. The Duchess of Malfi tells the story of the Duchess, who falls in love with her steward Antonio, and marries him, bearing three children. Betrayed by the spy Bosola, the Duchess attempts to flee Malfi with her family, but is ultimately unsuccessful. Her brother, Ferdinand, the Duke of Malfi, falls into a fit of rage after finding out the Duchess has gone against his orders. In his anger, he orders Bosola to strangle the Duchess, her maid, and her two youngest daughters. After this, he goes mad with guilt, and the audience laughs as we watch him spiral further and further into insanity. In the end, as is typical to a tragedy, everyone dies. The play ends in absolute carnage as the actors take immense glee in reenacting dramatic death scenes, relishing in the drama of their dying words. This play was fantastic, and the dedication was palpable. The talent at St. John’s College is immense, and I feel so lucky to witness such an incredible labor of love performed by my fellow members of the Polity. Thirty plays in sixty minutes. An ambitious (and chaotic) goal, but these talented actors managed to pull it off. I got there at 7:00pm, right when the doors opened, and was greeted with an improv performance by priest pirates performing exorcisms with Euclid’s Elements. A little dumbfounded, but thoroughly enjoying myself, I watched as my classmates made absolute fools of themselves in front of an audience. The audience was king, and they, the court jesters. As the skits began, the audience began yelling the numbers of which script they would like to see next. Actors rushed about in a frenzy, preparing for whatever scene they were going to perform next. The skits themselves were a fantastic mix of inside jokes, pure chaos, and existential dread. With titles such as “They Raised the Price of the Washing Machines,” “Clown Car Traffic Stop,” and “Assholes in Seminar,” each number was a portal into a totally unique scenario. Each skit felt complete even in its brevity, and the various lengths and complexities kept everyone laughing and engaged. This whirlwind of a show ended right as the last play was finishing, and the satisfaction in seeing all thirty skits completed had the audience whooping along in a standing ovation. After the fun was over, the jovial theater group encouraged viewers to return the next day with the promise of four new skits. All in all, this was such a fun event and everyone had a much-needed laugh. Photo by Ranger Kasdorf 3 �Λόγος THE GADFLY The Philosopher’s Phone December 13, 2023 which was Sophomore Lindsay Irmiter’s situation for the past two weeks. By Tamar Pinsky I meant to write this article last night. I watched videos on YouTube for four hours instead. One would think that had I not had access to YouTube, I would have the article written by now. But I am not so sure—I could find another way to procrastinate. Yes, that is right, I would procrastinate by cleaning my room, or scribbling nonsense on paper, or staring at the wall. Where there is a will to avoid doing work, there is a way to avoid doing work. I have this idea that if I abstained from all technology, I would become the most productive person in the world—but that is not the case. Sorry if you were hoping for some timemanagement tips now, but I think it would be a little too meta for me to be procrastinating writing an article about procrastination. No, I want to talk about the supposition that smartphones and the like are a no-good, time -wasting addiction. I’m not sure how many people actually consider them to be such. But I do know that there is at least some contemplation about the idea—enough to have people participate in the No Phone Day a month ago. Okay, so let us suppose that smartphones waste time and shorten our attention span. I am not going to argue that they do not harm us in this way, rather that their benefits outweigh the harms. When you go without your phone, what affects you more: the fact that you can no longer scroll through Instagram reels, or the fact that you have no way of contacting your mother? Actually—maybe that was a bad question, because…well, do you ever really go without your phone for more than a few hours? Unless your phone is broken, and you cannot get it fixed and so you are forced to go without it— 4 It’s the dream! Right? No more mindless social media gobbling! All time can be dedicated to reading and homework! The opportunity to be the perfect student has arrived! Nope. For Irmiter it was more of a nightmare. Sure, in the beginning she recounted feeling isolated and FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and Instagramcravings—but then she adjusted. The withdrawal symptoms (can we call it withdrawal?) faded within a few days, and they were hardly the worst part of not being able to use her phone. The worst part, for Irmiter, was not being able to stay in contact with people. “No one checks their emails,” she told me. “Everyone uses text.” If that sounds like a silly complaint to you, think about how much you use your phone to make plans with people, or to contact friends and family who do not live on the same college campus as you. Should those phone usages really be dismissed as unnecessary, or even harmful? I do hope that you did not answer yes to that question, but even if you did, surely safety remains a concern for you. Is it not silly to toss our phones aside in disgust when they can be necessary for ensuring our protection? Maybe protection is not the primary concern if one spends all one’s time in one’s room, or at least within the confines of St. John’s campus. Maybe. But Irmiter does not spend all her time in such limited quarters. (Shocking, I know! I do hope you are like Irmiter in this manner; it is good for you.) Over Thanksgiving break, Irmiter went home to visit her family, and on the way back she took the train. “It was scary,” she said, “having to take the �Λόγος THE GADFLY train as a single female, and not having a way to reach out if something were to happen.” Irmiter recognizes that people managed to live their lives and ride trains without phones back in the day, and that having access to a phone is a privilege. But that does not mean that one is spoiled by using a phone as a safety measure — in this day and age, the dangers are greater, so how could one say that one is wrong to take a proportionally greater precaution? Not having a way to reach out is dangerous, and it strips one of one’s independence. As Irmiter said, “I was forced to rely on other people. I had ask to borrow someone’s phone to call my mom. I had to have someone Uber with me so I don’t ride alone.” For most people, college is the first time in which one is given real independence. “Having that independence taken away,” Irmiter said, as a young woman out and about in the world, “is difficult.” Phones are not just a matter of dawdling the hours of the day away; they are a useful tool for keeping yourself safe. In a sense we are privileged to have phones to help us contact others and stay safe, and we take them for granted sometimes—as Irmiter painfully found out. But is it not a greater privilege to denounce them? How fortunate are we that we have access to something so powerful as a cell phone. They provide a means of staying safe, communicating with loved ones, and yes, I will even include entertainment in this list of benefits. Over 50% of people in emerging economies do not have smartphones. And we complain of excess! That is not to say that one should ignore eight -hours-a-day screen times. You know what they say —“too much of a good thing...” It can be tempting, if one feels addicted to one’s phone, to want to jump to the other extreme and banish oneself from it for all time. This sort of temptation is in line with ideologies we may be exposed to as St. John’s students. Many a philosopher wishes to reject that they have a body; they want to focus instead on the mind, or the soul, or god. They want to quit cold turkey, because that would be easier than trying to have just a little. They cannot have just a little, because then they would lose control and have a lot. They think that they are in control by abstaining, but in reality they are still a slave. For if they were truly in control, they would be able to moderate themselves. This is not to say that the pleasures of a phone are as vital as the pleasures of the body. Rather, that December 13, 2023 we should enjoy the benefits of phones in a mindful, limited way, given that it is difficult to function in society today without one. (Is it a problem with society then? Maybe the entire world is addicted, and I’m so deep into my own addiction that I write this article to justify it.) But just because we have more amenities than what our parents had, it does not mean that we are addicted. Our parents had more than what their parents had. Technology is continually advancing, the world is always changing, and we have to change to keep up with it. Some of the change is good, and some of it is bad, but if we want the advantages of the good we will have to deal with the disadvantages of the bad. I am thankful that I can call my friends and family whenever I want and feel at ease when I go out by myself. I am also thankful that I have a means of procrastinating for the sake of a little enjoyment and relaxation. Of course I will always need to work against the desire to procrastinate too much—but that will happen whether it is phone procrastination, television procrastination, radio procrastination, and so on, back in time of technological developments. There will always be something to prey on our basic desire to be lazy. And if you are feeling particularly lazy today, here’s a TL;DR (”too long, didn’t read”, a summary) for you: Phones can be useful. It is best if you use them with care. 5 �THE GADFLY Συμπόσιον A Plotinian Reading of the Myth of Ganymede1 By Luke Briner With love’s thousandfold joy the hallowed sensation of your eternal warmth floods my heart, infinite beauty! O that I might clasp you in my arms! … Upwards! Strive upwards! The clouds drift down, yielding to yearning love, to me, to me! In your lap, upwards, embracing and embraced! Upwards to your bosom, all-loving Father! —Goethe, “Ganymede” (trans. Wigmore) In Book I of Plato’s Laws, the Athenian Stranger, while discussing the social dangers of a lack of discipline with respect to pleasure, makes the following remark concerning the myth of Ganymede: Certainly we all blame the Cretans for the story of Ganymede; we think they are spinning a yarn. Since their laws were believed to come from Zeus, we think they added this story about Zeus so that they could claim Zeus’ authority for their enjoyment of this pleasure too.2 This, 1 of course, indicates the general December 13, 2023 historical reality that the myth was used, by people of Plato’s own time and by many others after it, as a kind of license to licentiousness—as a divine example of, and therefore a powerful sanction and glorification of, sexual perversion.3 This is naturally a great stain on its overall legacy and modern image, and it’s that very fact that has led me to the endeavor of this paper: to lift it from the darkness and scandal that have become attached to it, and to demonstrate that a different, brighter, and spiritual reading of it, through the philosophical perspective of Plato’s own great follower, Plotinus, is possible. In order to proceed in an orderly and rigorous fashion, I will take the following steps. First, a thorough understanding of the myth as originally present in Greek storytelling will be determined, so that its initial rendering can be brought into contradistinction with those of later periods (I). On the basis of this contradistinction, we will be able to dismiss those later renditions of the myth that contain the additional content that served as the inspiration or justification of the kind of perversion that the Athenian Stranger rightly condemns, and thereby set up the thus-purified essence of the original for a fresh and more spiritually edifying reading (II). We will then move to an analysis of the hermeneutical method of Plotinus, as well as that of Plato insofar as it naturally serves as a foundation for the understanding of his own (III), and from there at last apply that method to an actual interpretation of the myth itself (IV). I The first literary references to Ganymede are found in Homer: two in his Iliad,4 and one in his Hymn to Aphrodite.5 In the former, he is described as a Trojan prince, the son of Tros, who, being “the loveliest [κάλλιστος] born of the race of mortals,”6 was lifted up by the gods to their supernal abode “to be Zeus’ wine-pourer, for the sake of his beauty [κάλλεος], so he might be among the immortals.”7 In the latter, the “[g]olden-haired [ξανθόν] Ganymede”8 is depicted as being “snatched up”9 by Zeus himself This essay is a significantly revised and expanded version of one published in Gadfly XLIV.8 under the name “A New Platonic Reading of the Myth of Ganymede.” It has been accepted to and will be published in the Winter 2024 issue of Animus, a peer-reviewed undergraduate classics journal at the University of Chicago. 2 Plato, 636c-d (trans. Griffith). 3 To be clear, the perversion I personally refer to is pederasty in particular, although the Athenian Stranger is unfortunately talking more broadly about all homosexual relations here. The point stands regardless, however, since I intend to argue that the myth can be interpreted in an entirely spiritual, and thus in an entirely nonsensual, way. 4 Homer, Iliad, V.265-267, XX.230-235. 5 Homer, Hymn to Aphrodite, 202-217. 6 Homer, Iliad, XX.233 (trans. Lattimore). 7 Homer, Iliad, XX.234 8 Homer, Hymn to Aphrodite, 202 (trans. Shelmerdine). 6 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY December 13, 2023 Image: “The Raising of Ganymede” by Gustave Moreau, 1886 7 �THE GADFLY Συμπόσιον “because of his beauty [κάλλος],”10 and is thus allowed “to live among the immortals and pour wine for the gods in the house of Zeus, a wonder to see, honored by all the immortals as he draws the red nectar from a golden bowl.”11 12 There are, therefore, four essential elements to the Ganymede myth according to the original Homeric texts: 1) Ganymede’s κάλλος, 2) the special admiration of that κάλλος by the gods, 3) his apotheosis on the basis of that admiration, and 4) his subsequent vocation as a beloved wine-pourer of Olympus. Other, now commonly-referenced elements of the myth are, then, only grafted onto the original. To take two instances of this as expressed in major later writers, Ovid describes Jupiter transforming himself into an eagle in order to carry Ganymede up to Olympus and Juno’s subsequent jealousy,13 and Apuleius describes him as a shepherd before his ascent.14 II By our comparison of the authentically Homeric depiction of the myth and the depictions of other, later writers, we may already perceive a clear disparity between the target of the Athenian Stranger’s condemnation and the content of the myth in itself. Importantly, in all three Homeric references to Ganymede, there is no mention whatsoever of his age. It’s certainly possible that Ganymede is a younger man simply by virtue of his beauty and his status as a prince, but there is nothing that can or should lead us definitively to the conclusion that he’s actually a minor. In fact, Homer never even describes the relationship between Ganymede and Zeus, or between him and any of the other Gods for that matter, as overtly sexual in any way. According to Shelmerdine, “the hymnist [of the Hymn to Aphrodite] does not speak directly of an erotic 9 December 13, 2023 relationship between Zeus and Ganymede. The first clear reference to the two as lovers is in Ibykos fr. 289 (6th c. B.C.).”15 And again, Nichols Jr., in a note in his version of Plato’s Phaedrus, asserts that only “later renditions of the tale make Zeus fall in love with him [Ganymede].”16 Hence modified versions of the myth depicting Ganymede as a minor or his relationship to Zeus as pederastic, or interpretations of the myth so modified, can be seen as entirely discardable by someone seeking to make their interpretations of classical Greek myths primarily upon the original Homeric sources (someone, importantly, like Plotinus).17 This view is beautifully corroborated by Xenophon’s Socrates when he argues that “in the case of Ganymede, it was not his person [σώματος, i.e., body] but his spiritual character that influenced Zeus to carry him up to Olympus,”18 deriving his name from γάνυται (to be glad, to take joy) and μήδεα (counsels, arts) and thus determining that he was “not physically but mentally attractive.”19 From these considerations, it becomes clear that the Athenian Stranger, in condemning the Ganymede myth, in reality doesn’t necessarily condemn it in its original essence but only the common, later renderings of it that permit or glorify the social perversion that he sees around him. We ourselves, then, are free to condemn those renderings and perversions alongside him while recapitulating and reappropriating the myth in its original form for a less ignoble purpose. III Now Plato himself, far from condemning mythology universally, “creates a mythology of his own.”20 Although it’s his original “reformed mythology and by no means the objectionable old inherited religious legend which he wishes to enthrone,”21 he clearly recognizes that myth, in and Homer, Hymn to Aphrodite, 202. Homer, Hymn to Aphrodite, 203. 11 Homer, Hymn to Aphrodite, 202 12 I’ve chosen to ignore the story of Tros and Zeus after Ganymede’s ascent as related by Homer in Iliad V.265-258 and Hymn to Aphrodite 207-218, as it’s outside the scope of my current inquiry. I believe that I’m justified in doing this because it’s consistent with the freewheeling interpretive approach to myth that Plotinus himself takes throughout the Enneads and which I’ll go on to emulate. This will be developed more thoroughly in Part III. 13 Ovid, Metamorphoses, X.155-161. 14 Apuleius, The Golden Ass, XI.8.15-16. 15 Shelmerdine, The Homeric Hymns, 135-6, n. 202-217. More precisely, she refers to Ibykos’ (overtly pederastic) Gorgias. 16 Plato, 255c (trans. Nichols Jr.), n. 126. 17 Clark, Plotinus: Myth, Metaphor, and Philosophical Practice, 157-158. 18 Xenophon, Symposium, 8.30 (trans. Marchant). 19 Xenophon, Symposium, 8.30. 20 Edelstein, “The Function of the Myth in Plato's Philosophy," 466. 21 Edelstein, “The Function of the Myth in Plato's Philosophy," 478. 10 8 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY of itself, can “aid in making the interlocutor receptive to arguments and leads him to these arguments by offering him insights to be tested, insights often about ‘worlds’ with which he is not familiar.”22 For Plato, myths are by no means substitutes for or directly connected to the truth, but the right interpretation of the right myths can lead us to the truth more easily than otherwise. This fundamental appreciation of the pedagogical efficacy of mythology is, in fact, precisely what informs his conviction that “gruesome and overtly immoral tales about gods and heroes were corrupting.”23 If myths are, by their very nature, capable of easily resonating with and thereby of influencing the characters and perspectives of those who hear them, then it is of the utmost importance to ensure that those myths which actually are heard tacitly contain beneficial rather than harmful lessons. Hence his claim that “all the battles of the gods Homer made…must not be accepted in the city,”24 rather than being a universal repudiation of mythology as a pedagogical mode, is actually made on the basis of his recognition of its undeniable efficacy, and therefore of his earnest desire to have only the very best myths told to impressionable minds.25 Plotinus, as a follower of Plato, wholeheartedly concurs with his master’s view that myths may serve as highly valuable tools for the communication of philosophical and spiritual truths. He writes: But myths, if they are really going to be myths, must separate in time the things of which they tell, and set apart from each other many realities which are together, but distinct in rank or powers, at points where rational discussions, also, make generations of things ungenerated, and themselves, too, separate December 13, 2023 things which are together; the myths, when they have taught us as well as they can, allow the man who has understood them to put together again that which they have separated.26 Calvo perfectly captures the sense of this passage when he writes that, for Plotinus, “[t]he myth divides in time what is transmitted in the discourse and separates entities from each other which in reality are united, meaning that the myth takes back to the past—from an origin—things which are in the present.”27 The μῦθος, in dealing with “the unseen and unexpectable,”28 is capable of expressing the Eternal in the temporal and grounding the esoteric λόγος with an immediately engaging πάθος, and therefore of rendering the content of otherwise highly difficult doctrines not only understandable but personally relatable. In this, however, Plotinus dares to go further than Plato, and happily subjects not only Platonic but many traditional (again, primarily Homeric) myths to metaphysical exegesis, and does so with a remarkable, sometimes even startling pragmatism. He uses mythical narratives or characters to illustrate whatever philosophical situation he finds himself in, even if that means using the same character to represent different things at different times,29 or, similarly, confining his analysis to a particular moment of a myth without referencing its broader narrative context. Hence, to give only a few specific examples, he represents in different places both Zeus30 and Kronos31 as the Intellect, Aphrodite as “the Soul at its divinest”32 contemplating the Intellectual Realm, and the generational struggle between Uranus, Kronos, and Zeus as the hypostatic procession from the One to Intellect to Soul.33 Sometimes his method advances to the outright 22 Smith, “Plato's Use of Myth in the Education of Philosophic Man,” 13. Clark, Plotinus: Myth, Metaphor, and Philosophical Practice, 150. 24 Plato, 278d (trans. Bloom). 25 Plato, 278d-e. 26 Plotinus, III.5.9. Important to note here is that while Armstrong, whose translation of this passage is given above, puts it under chapter nine, the standard MacKenna translation puts it under chapter ten. Although the MacKenna translation of this particular passage is remarkably powerful and poetic, as it is generally throughout the Enneads, I found the Armstrong to be so much clearer that I’ve decided to use it instead. 27 Calvo, “Myth and Exegesis in Plotinus: How to Divide and Recompose Words and Things,” 87. 28 Clark, Plotinus: Myth, Metaphor, and Philosophical Practice, 154. 29 Calvo, 84. 30 Plotinus, III.5.8. 31 Plotinus, III.5.2. (trans. MacKenna). 32 Plotinus, III.5.2. 23 9 �THE GADFLY Συμπόσιον manipulation of the content of traditional myths to suit his own purposes. Perhaps the most striking example of this is found in his discussion of the receptivity of ύλη to είδος in the Kosmos,34 wherein he claims that “the sterility of Matter, eternally unmoved, is indicated by the eunuchs surrounding it in its representation as the All-Mother [Cybele].”35 36 With respect to this passage, Armstrong remarks that “the allegorical interpretation of the eunuchs who surround the Great Mother given here seems to have no parallel….[i]t is so far-fetched and so exactly adapted to Plotinus’s own distinctive doctrine of the absolute sterility of matter that it may well be his own invention.”37 We observe, then, Plotinus freely and unscrupulously appropriating exactly those sorts of myths which Plato explicitly repudiates, and yet him doing so with the intention of achieving the very same pedagogical end as Plato. Ordinarily there might be a significant tension between their two approaches given this fundamental disagreement on the salvageability of traditional myths. I suggest, however, that the myth of Ganymede in particular, having been determined as completely morally unobjectionable when brought back to its original, Homeric essence, is in a uniquely favorable position to be accepted as the material for philosophical interpretation by Platonic as well as by Plotinian standards. IV With this foundation now laid, I proceed to my ultimate claim that the myth of Ganymede may be interpreted as the spiritual ascent of the Plotinian Soul to the Divine Source from which it proceeded. I will develop this claim in accordance with the essential elements of the myth enunciated in Part I of this paper. The κάλλος of Ganymede, which serves as the basis of the gods’ unique favor for him and therefore ultimately in his apotheosis, can easily be interpreted 34 December 13, 2023 as the κάλλος of the unblemished Plotinian Soul that serves as the basis of its own apotheosis. Plotinus asserts emphatically that, in order to “ascend again towards the Good, the desired of every Soul,”38 that Soul must submit itself wholeheartedly to those purifying rituals which prepare it and make it actually worthy of such an ascent. “Never did eye see the sun,” he reflects, “unless it had first become sunlike, and never can the soul have vision of the First Beauty unless itself be beautiful. Therefore, first let each become godlike and each beautiful who cares to see God and Beauty.”39 In essentially what, then, does such purification, such self-beautification, such “Likeness to God”40 consist? For Plotinus, as for Plato, it must consist most fundamentally in virtue, in ἀρετή;41 it is only by the attainment of a genuinely virtuous character in the present, material world, i.e., of civic virtue, that the Soul prepares itself for the subsequent acquisition of higher, more spiritual forms of virtue,42 and thereby ultimately for a union with the authentically Divine.43 Hence the famouslydescribed “inner statue” of the beautiful or selfbeautified Soul is described as possessing the “godlike splendour of virtue,”44 with this itself being the most important prerequisite for that Soul’s union with the Supreme. Ganymede, therefore, who is brought up to Olympus “because of” or “for the sake of” his own beauty, may serve as a clear-cut representation of a Soul that finds itself in this purified, radiant state, and therefore that also finds itself rising up to its original, beatific Source above. It’s also not impossible, on this basis, to conceive of some connection between Ganymede’s description as “golden-haired” (ξανθόν) and the way that Plotinus speaks of gold (χρυσός) as an illustration of the native beauty and worth of the Soul itself.45 An important clarification must be made here with respect to the distinction between the Good (τὸ ἀγαθὸν) and Beauty. Plotinus shifts constantly Plotinus is undoubtedly following upon Plato’s account of matter/space in Timaeus, 49a-b here. The identity of this “All-Mother” as Cybele is indicated by Clark on Plotinus: Myth, Metaphor, and Philosophical Practice, p. 157. 36 Plotinius, III.6.19. 37 Plotinus, Enneads, Vol. III, trans. Armstrong, 288-289, n. 1. 38 Plotinus, I.6.7 (trans. MacKenna-Page). 39 Plotinus, I.6.9. 40 Plato, 176a-b. Plotinus quotes this passage at the beginning of his tractate “On Virtue” (I.2) that I’m about to discuss. 41 Plotinus, I.2.1. 42 Plotinus, I.2.3-5. 43 Plotinus, I.2.6-7. 44 Plotinus, I.6.9. 45 E.g., Plotinus, I.6.5., IV.7.10. 35 10 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY between two distinct meanings of Beauty throughout the Enneads: the Beauty of the utterly transcendent Good in and of itself, or καλλονή, and the Beauty as actually, determinately existent within IntellectualBeing, or τὸ καλὸν.46 On the one hand, we read that the Good in itself is “beyond-beautiful, beyond the highest,”47 with everything secondary to that Good being merely beautiful, and that “beauty is that which irradiates symmetry rather than symmetry itself and is that which truly calls our love,”48 and thus, since symmetry is a characteristic of Intellectual-Being, that true Beauty must be beyond Intellectual-Being itself. On the other hand, we read that “Beauty without Being could not be, nor Being voided of Beauty….[h]ow then can we debate which is the cause of the other, where the nature is one?”49 Most fascinatingly of all, Plotinus also claims that “The Good, which lies beyond, is the Fountain at once and Principle of Beauty: the Primal Good and the Primal Beauty have the one dwelling-place and, thus, always, Beauty’s seat is There,”50 seemingly implying that Beauty is simultaneously, in the very same thought, totally at one with the Good and merely its derivative. The question this naturally presents to us in our analysis of the Ganymede myth, and thereby of the ascent of the Soul generally, is this: if the Soul prepares itself for an ascent to the Divine by beautifying itself, then precisely what kind of Beauty in the Divine does that Soul-Beauty correspond to, and thus ultimately rise to in actuality? Will it be to Beauty qua Being (τὸ καλὸν), or to Beauty qua Beyond-Being (καλλονή)? We can venture an answer to this question in two closely-related parts. First, within the context of the confusion surrounding the distinct ontic and supra-ontic natures of Beauty featured in Plotinus’ system, we may observe that, regardless of the precise point of delineation between the two, there must be a clear mode of procession of the former from the latter, and therefore there must also be some analogous mode of procession from the former to the latter for the Soul. Insofar as the Soul December 13, 2023 derives itself from Intellectual-Being, and insofar as Intellectual-Being—whose “self and content must be simultaneously present”51—posessess and thereby is τὸ καλὸν, then the relatedly-beautified Soul will be worthy of uniting with it. Likewise, insofar as the Soul derives itself directly from the Good,52 and insofar as that Good is also the Beyond-Beautiful (καλλονή), then the relatedly-beautified Soul, which is now also unified with the Beauty of the Intellect itself,53 will in turn become worthy of uniting with it. The Soul, therefore, is capable of ascending to each of these levels in accordance with its own degree of beautification. Second, with respect to the specific narrative of the myth of Ganymede in relation to these considerations of Beauty, we might say that the particular level of the Soul’s ascent that Ganymede’s own ascent represents is determined by precisely what status we consider him to ultimately have on Olympus—i.e., whether we consider him as the winepourer of Zeus specifically (as the Iliad relates) or of the Olympian gods generally (as the Hymn to Aphrodite relates). I venture that the former case lends itself to the Soul’s ultimate union with the Supreme Good since the Good is also the transcendently One,54 set apart entirely from the multiplicity that Intellectual-Being implies,55 while the latter accordingly lends itself to union with that very Intellectual-Being, which Plotinus beautifully describes as “one God and all the gods, where each is all, blending into a unity, distinct in powers but all one god in virtue of that one divine power of many facets.”56 Finally, then, we may take Ganymede’s ultimate vocation as a wine-pourer, either to Zeus in particular or to the Olympians in general, as representing the Soul’s own absolute absorption into the Divine, so that Soul itself becomes the wine, not only the offerer but the offering, outpouring its whole essence into the all-perfect Source from which it once proceeded. As Ganymede pours out “red nectar from a golden bowl” for his doting master(s), so the Soul, 46 Rist, Plotinus: The Road to Reality, 63. Plotinus, I.8.2. 48 Plotinus, VI.7.22. 49 Plotinus, V.8.10. 50 Plotinus, I.6.9. 51 Plotinus, V.3.1. 52 Rist, 65. 53 Plotinus routinely insists that the Soul must ascend first to the Intellect, and only then to the Good (I.2.7, I.3, VI.7.36, etc.). 54 Plotinus, V.1.8., VI.9., etc. 55 Plotinus, V.3.10. 56 Plotinus, V.8.9. 47 11 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY December 13, 2023 overcome with “wonderment and a delicious trouble, longing and love and a trembling that is all delight”57 at the sight of the Divine Beloved, longs to be “molten into one”58 with that Beloved forevermore. Pictured right: Jupiter and Ganymede, from 'Game of Mythology' (Jeu de la Mythologie), print, etched by Stefano della Bella, designed by Jean Desmarets de Saint-Sorlin (MET, 18.48.2-19) Bibliography. Apuleius. The Golden Ass. Translated by W. Adlington. Harvard University Press, 1915. Clark, Stephen R. L. Plotinus: Myth, Metaphor, and Philosophical Practice. University of Chicago Press, 2016. Calvo, José María Zamora. “Myth and Exegesis in Plotinus: How to Divide and Recompose Words and Things.” Rupkatha Journal on Interdisciplinary Studies in Humanities 9, no. 2 (August 18, 2017). https:// dx.doi.org/10.21659/rupkatha.v9n2.08. Edelstein, Ludwig. “The Function of the Myth in Plato’s Philosophy.” Journal of the History of Ideas 10, no. 4 (October 1949): 463-481. https://www.jstor.org/stable/2707185. Homer. Iliad. Translated by Richmond Lattimore. University of Chicago Press, 2011. Homer. The Homeric Hymns. Translated by Susan C. Shelmerdine. Focus Books, 1995. Ovid. Metamorphoses. Translated by Justus Miller. Harvard University Press, 1916. Plato. Laws. Translated by Tom Griffith. Cambridge University Press, 2016. Plato. Phaedrus. Translated by James Nichols Jr. Cornell University Press, 1998. Plato. Republic. Translated by Allan Bloom. Basis Books, 1968. Plotinus. Enneads. Translated by A.H. Armstrong. Harvard University Press, 1967. Plotinus. Enneads. Translated by Stephen McKenna; Revised by B. S. Sage. Encyclopædia Britannica, 1952. Rist, John M. Plotinus: The Road to Reality. CUP Archive, 1967. Smith, Janet E. “Plato’s Use of Myth in the Education of Philosophic Man.” Phoenix 40, no. 1 (1986): 20-34. https://www.jstor.org/stable/1088962. Xenophon. Symposium. Translated by E. C. Marchant. http://data.perseus.org/texts/ urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0032.tlg004.perseus-eng1 57 Plotinus, I.6.4. Plotinus, I.6.7. 58 12 �Πόλις THE GADFLY Semester Wrapped By Vivian Miyakawa As the 2023-24 fall semester comes to a close, winter break shines on the horizon and many Johnnies begin to reflect on the successes and pitfalls of their first few months of a new school year. This joyous time of year also intersects with what may be one of the most highly anticipated events for millions of people worldwide: Spotify Wrapped. There is nothing I love more than eagerly shoving my identity into sanitary, cheerfully corporatized boxes that tell me what my “listening character” is. (Just for the record, I’m “The Mastermind”). So, while brainstorming article ideas for the next issue of the Gadfly, I figured I’d give the people what they want: more categories to point at and laugh as they go “that’s so me.” Take some time to read through these types of Johnnies and decide which stereotype fits you the best. 1. TheÊRoomÊJohnnie Starting off the list strong, The Room Johnnie is an endearingly playful term for that one roommate who just doesn’t seem to ever leave your room. Room Johnnies are generally introverted, choosing to study in the comfort of their own dorm rather than a more public setting. You’ll never see them at social events, but their Ancient Greek skills are probably off the charts. 2. TheÊOverworked I’m certain we’ve all felt like this at one point or another, but The Overworked seems to be in a constant state of panic. Somehow, it feels like every one of their tutors has assigned them three essays at once, and their language homework is several pages of translating incomprehensible texts. They live off of vending machine coffee and three hours of sleep, and you’re pretty sure their only hobby is studying. 3. TheÊPhilosopher The Philosopher is just a little bit too in love with Plato. In fact, you wonder if they’ve secretly got a thing for ancient philosophers. (I mean, I don’t blame them for it, but Theophrastus is more my type). Somehow, every point they make during seminar connects back to the Republic. The Philosopher absolutely has a giant copy of Plato’s collected works, and manages to weave his beautifully crafted logic into any sentence imaginable. To be fair though, for all you know, 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. December 13, 2023 they really may be the second coming of Socrates. TheÊHedonist There’s nothing wrong with indulging every once in a while, but The Hedonist looks for every excuse to party. Whether it’s Friday, Saturday, or even a random Tuesday, you can be certain there’s something going on in their dorm room. They’re a fantastic person to have fun with, and keep any situation light, but studying with them is bound to turn into an hour-long gossip session. TheÊOlympian The Olympian lives on the erg. They get up at 5:00 a.m. every morning and proudly display their boat race ties at any chance they get. They’re definitely obsessed with intramurals, and never miss a single game of pickup volleyball. The gym is aptly named for this person, because it truly is their temple. Unlike most Johnnies, in a naval academy uniform, they could definitely pass for an abnormally smart Middie. TheÊ“Plague-Ridden” Remember that one person who got sick at the beginning of the year and has never seemed to improve? The “Plague-Ridden” really lives up to their name, because they constantly have a case of the sniffles. From Covid, to bronchitis, to a case of the common cold, this student can never catch a break, and can never breathe out of their nose. TheÊTutor The Tutor is that one friend who is just obnoxiously smart. They’re the golden child of the school, the perfect replica of a Johnnie and blessed by Athena herself. Their questions are insightful, their essays are well-written, and their seminar points are perfectly eloquent and add unforeseen layers of depth to the discussion. Luckily, it’s hard to dislike The Tutor, because they are always willing to help you through any assignments you have. TheÊ“CursedÊbyÊAphrodite” Ending the list on a lighthearted note, the “Cursed by Aphrodite” has probably gone through at least four relationships in just the first semester. As soon as you’ve found out who they’re dating, they’ve broken up again. Just as quickly, though, they’ve already bounced back with someone new. Constantly pining, this person needs to be careful, because avoiding exes in such a small school is near impossible… 13 �Πόλις THE GADFLY December 13, 2023 The SJC Mystery #5: Rocking the Boat By Benne “Ahhhh” Sco Some nights, I can’t tell when I’m asleep and when I’m awake. Everything has the same feeling to it, as if I could slip right through what looks like solid matter, could start drowning in this reality. My dreams involve these infinite successions of halls, doors, forests, always connected by an unending path. I run and I walk and I turn and I stop and I get nowhere, nowhere, nowhere at all. And then the pounding starts. There’s a rhythm to it, a metronomic thumping. I know it’s fists. No matter how it sounds, it is always something beating, trying to get in, hands filled with blood and ready to tear me apart. It gets so loud that I wake up, but I’m in yet another place, running. I have to wake up again and again and again and it gets so bad that even when I’m back in the real world (is this the real world?), I still try to wake up just to make sure. I could always tell that I’d gotten back by the silence, by the lack of pounding. And then… well, you saw: the pounding came into reality. I haven’t seen clearly whatever it is that’s following me. To prevent it from just becoming another classic ‘shadowy figure hunting down isolated man,’ I’ve decided to call it ‘The Friend.’ Is 14 that cute? Or does it just make things worse? I’m not even sure if The Friend’s real. How could it not be real? I see a figure out of the corner of my eye and something, goddamn something has to be pounding on my door! It’s probably best to take an almost ‘quantum’ approach to this Friend fellow: they do not follow any evident rules of time or space (I cannot predict when that dread feeling ripping at my heart will start and make me flee home), they do not have a clear manifestation (but there’s something physical there), they are merely an interpretive tool. A goddamn metaphorical demon. The only clear signs I find are messages. I’ll wake up from a succession of nightmares and find a note written in my handwriting saying…well it doesn’t matter what they say. They all accuse me. That’s what matters. And I find them elsewhere too: on chalkboards, in the margins of books, on little pieces of trash. They’ve only been getting more intense, more violent. Jesus. I swear I can hear footsteps in the street right now. Just woke up from another set of dreams (I started in my childhood home, then my highschool, both seem to be coming up more. And a dark road. I outran them all.). I couldn’t see at all for a moment, �Πόλις THE GADFLY just about ready to throw up. It got worse and worse, that thin acid pooling in my throat. I turned my head to puke and stopped. My door is open. I still haven’t gotten out of bed. I’m writing this just to prove I’m not dreaming. God, please let me be dreaming. I’m gonna have to step out into the dark and close it. Fuck. Well, you can see it as well as I can (if you even exist any more): the note’s still there. I threw one of my books at the door and it didn’t close all the way so I had to get up and relock it. I tried to sleep more afterward. Not sure if I did. The eternal darkness does not help with time keeping. Whether I slept (am still in the same dream or not), I just now got up and opened the blinds, letting in the streetlight. The room’s empty. I found a little note left behind in the usual bedside manner: For a heart so foul, greater purities are needed. In formal response to the demon who’s currently haunting me: FUCKÊ OFF. Thank you <3. But I’m not here to tell you about a damn silly note. I’m here to tell you why I’m sitting, staring at December 13, 2023 my door, my room a mess with the bed and the desk stacked against the doorframe. I checked the lock and the door opened. I checked the other way. The door still opened. I tried back and forth and back and forth and the door always opens. The lock is entirely broken. I don’t want to check the front door, but I already know. All the gates are open. I need to get out of here. Here’s to trying: Noodles: “They’ll Never Find Me Here!” By Tamar Pinsky 15 �Πόλις THE GADFLY December 13, 2023 How Ethereal Bisexualism Ruined Obama By Dr. Benjamin Raymor Maier “Looking back, it’s embarrassing to recognize the degree to which my intellectual curiosity those first two years of college paralleled the interests of various women I was attempting to get to know: Marx and Marcuse so I had something to say to the long-legged socialist who lived in my dorm; Fanon and Gwendolyn Brooks for the smooth-skinned sociology major who never gave me a second look; Foucault and Woolf for the ethereal bisexual who wore mostly black. As a strategy for picking up girls, my pseudointellectualism proved mostly worthless; I found myself in a series of affectionate but chaste friendships.” –President Barack Obama, A Promised Land We used to be a country. It was not long ago where the average American could go to college, find a job, raise a family, and then retire comfortably. However, President Obama’s autobiography tells a different story: one of tribulation, struggle, and broken hopes. If there ever was a promised land, we no longer live in it. The American dream has woken up from its naive slumber to a darkened room filled with deceit, deconstructionist philosophy, and elusive romantic prospects. I cannot fully describe the state of our decayed country but I can tell you where its sickness started: the University. As undergraduate students, it is in our young pride and pretentious delusion that we think we have a shot with “the smooth-skinned sociology major” or the “ethereal bisexual who wore mostly black”. But it is not just our stupidity which stops us from dating the ethereal bisexual—it is the bisexual’s Dasein which destroys us. What do I mean by this? We do not live in the world of our grandfathers and grandmothers—we are an abyss away from traditional notions of boy, girl, dating, true love, and affection. To understand romance in the modern University, we need a new language for a changed reality. Our discourse requires Dasein to describe the vibe of “Being-here” in the spiritualsphere which is unique to the ethereal bisexual. At first, President Obama appears as a cringeworthy 16 romantic who simply does not understand women. However, a proper understanding of Dasein shows that Obama is no amateur— he is a poet who captures the primordial encounter between the worldly masculine and the ethereal, divine feminine. Take a closer look: THEÊCULTÊOFÊTHEÊMALE “[I]t’s embarrassing to recognize the degree to which my intellectual curiosity those first two years of college paralleled the interests of various women I was attempting to get to know.” Here, Obama shows the original connection between intellect and the erotic—now lost to the modern undergraduate. However, this connection was already decaying in Obama’s time. As we can see the 1980s were much like our own time: filled with strange new philosophies, absurd courtship rituals, �Πόλις THE GADFLY and mysterious women. For Obama, intellectualism was not erotic but only a vehicle to crash into the women he loved regardless of whether they noticed. He never stood a chance. Philosophy, genuine questioning, and erotic love thrived when it existed outside the Academy but by the 80’s, it had been buried six feet deep under a mountain of administrators, codes, and endowed professorships. In the absence of philosophy, a young man left to his own devices returns to his base instincts: he tries to date women. THEÊDIVINEÊFEMININE “. . . Marx and Marcuse so I had something to say to the long-legged socialist who lived in my dorm; Fanon and Gwendolyn Brooks for the smooth-skinned sociology major who never gave me a second look; Foucault and Woolf for the ethereal bisexual who wore mostly black.” Notice the adjectives that Obama uses: “longlegged,” “smooth-skinned,” and “ethereal.” For him, these women are goddesses no less perfect than Pallas Athena. However this line brings out a deeper image: feminine Dasein and man’s struggle against it. Men are entirely lacking in a rich internal world. For them, nothing can seriously be considered beyond what is in the world. You see it in their obsession with material possessions, communal pride, strength, and quick gratification. Even their pseudo philosophies such as stoicism and the “Bronze Age Mindset” indicate a deep spiritual poverty in the male character. They exit the material world in so far as they can die: they turn off their pain and dopamine receptors and sink into the abyss of their labor. However, the ethereal bisexual and the long-legged socialist are able to have a genuine appreciation for the true, the good, and the beautiful. They understand the joy of the small things and the wonder of great art. They recall the warmth of their grandmother’s home and the sonorous echoes of deep canyons. Men have objects but women have Dasein—they are here in the world in a spiritual sense. Furthermore, they reject what is meaningless and perishing and embrace what endures beyond man’s stone and bronze hubris. Obama, constrained by his heteronormative condition, poetically recognizes that God has given women a “divine feminine” that he cannot access. December 13, 2023 THEÊFRIENDÊZONE “As a strategy for picking up girls, my pseudointellectualism proved mostly worthless; I found myself in a series of affectionate but chaste friendships.” Embarrassing. If Obama read more Foucault he would see that even friendship can be a prison. But Obama does not blame the University for his barbarism and wasted condition. Instead he poetically opens up man’s abyss and discovers the loss of his own Dasein against the feminine. But what does this mean for the average undergraduate man? Should we seek out the ethereal bisexual’s Dasein? We cannot seek—Most men who have loved an ethereal bisexual woman know that it never ends well. I myself have even had my life ruined by one1. Perhaps the only answer we have is that we shouldn’t use books to pick up women. This is unfortunate because sexuallycharged reading is the St. John’s business model. However, I am only a Doctor of romance—what would I know about keeping a college profitable? Dr. Benjamin Raymor Maier Endowed Chair in Sexual Ethics at the Bell Hooks School for Understanding Women at the University of Austin Co-host of the Bro Scogan Podcast PhD in Romance and Sports Medicine Dr. Benjamin Raymor Maier 1 Likely an allusion to a 2021 lecture given by Dr. Maier How I Learned to Stop Caring and Love Tinder. There is scholarly debate on whether the “bisexual” in question was real or simply hyperbole to characterize the perils of dating bisexuals. It is possible Maier concocted the life ruining bisexual in reference to A Promised Land but the connection has never been proven. The majority of scholars maintain that Maier was referencing a real person in his life. 17 �Πόλις THE GADFLY The Waffliad By B.A. Sco One does not expect, looking across a dying bonfire at an only recently familiar face, to go on a great quest, but Fate, with her thin fingers wrapped always round our throats, is a trickster and joker; do not trust her simple eyes, for behind them lies life, death, and The Waffle House. In the weeks leading up to 11/20/2023, Waffle House had come up at least half a dozen times in conversations with the most disparate of people. It is, after all, a place steeped in lore: The Waffle House Index used to measure how bad a natural disaster is by how many Waffle Houses are closed and/or destroyed in an area, the “Can I please get a waffle” 18 December 13, 2023 video (two women fighting behind the counter, no one responding to the desperate plea for a delicious treat), Jesse Pinkman immediately going to a Waffle House after being released from custody in Breaking Bad, the general aura of the place (the rival restaurants—IHOP, Denny’s—have a liminal feeling to them best confronted at around 1 a.m.; this feeling is most certainly pumped straight in from Waffle House, a place so unreal it makes my head spin). Still, it was strange that it should be mentioned so much to me in particular; I had only been to Waffle House once before, and that was a long time ago. I was 13 years old. My grandmother was a tall, redheaded, and very very Scottish woman. How she ended up living in Memphis, Tennessee is an entire saga of its own (she once described my grandfather as a Cadillac: once you’ve had one, you can’t drive anything else; how a woman so strong willed didn’t drive him farther North is a different question), but she did and she was a great fan of the �Πόλις THE GADFLY local institutions: Barbecue at Rendezvous (there are not better ribs on this side of the Mississippi, in both directions), Elvis and Graceland, and, as you can guess, Waffle House. She frequented her nearest location so often every waitress knew her (she’d written to management about getting two waitresses promoted; Southern hospitality took everything from there). She took me one fine June day (anyone who knows Memphis will know what I mean by fine, that rare and perfect balance of drowning and burning). We sat at the counter. I don’t think I’ve expressed well enough the character of my grandmother for you to understand how shocking it was for me to see her sitting surrounded by white and yellow tile at an American deli style counter: her Scottish accent had not faded in the slightest (advertisement was pronounced ad-ver-tiz-ment), she smelled always of hair products (she had been a flight attendant, so beautiful that they ignored that she got motion sickness so bad she had to lie down every time they took off and landed), and she was tall, so very tall. Ordering waffles, bacon, eggs? Well, none of the words even made sense coming out of her mouth. Tell you the truth, I barely remembered the food because of the simple shock of seeing Grandma Fief applying her so precise European manners to grease and fat. That was the only time I visited Memphis before my grandmother died, leaving everything haloed in childhood and mystery (gold and silver respectively), including that little diner where we had eaten. It had been, then, at least 8 years since I had been to Waffle House when I asked our resident food reviewer, Audrey Fox, to come with me (she not having any idea why such a journey might mean anything special to me). We agreed that such an institution is best suited to the witching hours. We planned to set off around 11 p.m. and get home by around 2 a.m. Now, Ms. Fox and I have done a food review together before, but, my dear reader, it is important to note that going into this—standing across from each other at the bonfire, watching the logs she had just thrown in slowly burn, me talking with my roommates about the merits of boats and seduction, her presumably talking with her friends about something entirely different (I’d like to think they were discussing the meaning of God in a quantum mechanical world; they were probably talking about what alcohol they were going to buy at the Mini Mart)—that we were not close friends (she will December 13, 2023 hopefully not take offense at my saying this and maybe even confirm it). We shared two classes (where it’s very hard to befriend me because of my eccentricities (read: being an ass)) and had hung out only a couple of times (largely for Gadfly-related reasons). I knew her middle name and she knew mine and that was about as far as things had gotten. [DB:] I expected our relationship to change over the course of this adventure (it was a three hour, utterly mad journey); when I finally returned home six hours late, barely able to think straight, our connection would be entirely changed. We met in the gym parking lot at 11:13 p.m. It was a clear night, not too cold, the parking lot already slightly empty for the holiday break. We got in my little silver Subaru Impreza (Sube-sube is their name). I was to be in charge of music on the way there and Audrey on the way back, so I made the safe choice: indie so basic that it’s just a constant flow of sad acoustic guitar and the indie-girl accent (some people call it “cursive singing,” but I can’t read cursive (I almost failed fifth grade)); for all the anonymity of my indie, Ms. Fox was already making fun of it. Now, the phrase we decided on by the end of the night for what formed (and forms) the basis of our conversations was ‘Psychological torment.’ Every time Audrey saw even the slightest weakness in me, her teeth dug into it: I am a terminally awkward person and was tormented for preparing questions that we might talk about during the ride, I try too little and too much to relate to people and was tormented for anything resembling an admission of fellow-feeling, I mentioned high school and was tormented for talking about it every damn time we speak. But do not worry my dear reader: I torment her back. Any mention of a past lover? Immediately met with a reminder that she has a talent for choosing the people worst for her mental state. [DB:] An allusion to once having been in a choir? Struck down with reminders of the agonies of our music class sophomore year (her section was quiet, shy (do your best to forget that my section was even worse)). Talking about being Irish and Italian? She did not hear the end of everything she did being because of Catholic guilt. It was a verbal warzone of a drive. The road itself took us skirting along the edge of Baltimore. I hate driving in that city for so many reasons (speeding tickets, speeding tickets, speeding tickets), but it was different nearing midnight. The pale skeletons of cranes over the 19 �Πόλις THE GADFLY harbor, the rows of buses waiting for the morning, the tunnel with its hum of yellow-white light, all reminded me of my love of industrial decay. [actual dialogue?:] Ms. Fox and I had a long discussion about that love: I first became aware of it in Topeka, Kansas, a city so empty and dun that it should cause nothing more than aesthetic disappointment. But I was not disappointed. I loved it. The empty streets. The awkward and decaying buildings. The way not a single person stayed permanently in my mind. On those dusty avenues, I realized just how widespread that feeling was for me: my love of brutalist architecture, liminal spaces, analog horror. The philosophers are welcome to disagree with me, but I think the classical binary of aesthetic appreciation into beauty and sublimity has become outdated; in the grey concrete, the perfectly repeating windows, the inhumanity of such places I found a certain new pleasure, something which felt like disgust and comfort twisted together. By such a violent denial of reality, modernity seems to have circled back upon itself: driving along those empty Baltimore highways, I felt as if I were witnessing raw being (could I call this estimonia? Being-happiness?). I knew, even if I tried to be subtle about it so I wouldn’t be made fun of too much, that I was going to Waffle House in pursuit of that very feeling. And, after 51 minutes of driving through the emptiness, we arrived. When we pulled up, however, there was a problem: no one else was there. There were two workers inside and not a soul in the parking lot. We immediately felt guilty: were we going to subject service workers to an even more crushing existence just to make us food that we did not really need? But, after much Gen-Z guilt (Audrey’s, of course, being 20 December 13, 2023 Catholic-coded), we decided to go in. [DB:] Our guilt only got worse when we entered and the first thing one of the workers said was: “I’m only serving take out right now.” But we had come so far to reach the holy land. We would not be stopped at its doorstep. We, by fate or by choice, stayed. The worker who spoke to us first hardly talked the rest of the time. But the other worker? We the food reviewers have agreed: she alone made our experience worthy of five stars. “You have beautiful hair. And you,” turning to Ms. Fox, “have a great smile!” Audrey proceeded to teach her about basting eggs, “and I, you know, I’ve been drinking soda recently. I’ll be on that health grind again soon, but that sounds good.” She grew up just North of Baltimore, “and I love where I grew up. There are ducks that walk on the streets. And every month they have a first Friday. Oh it’s so cute!” She ended up recommending us a restaurant (Supermercado Campos) and giving us metal forks (they were out of plasticware). Not once did she seem disingenuous (Ms. Fox theorized that once you reach a certain point of exhaustion, the customer service mask slips off). The actual environs of this conversation went something like: white tile, white lights (spherical), white lights (flat), grey counter, silver refrigerators, silver-black grills, black-silver waffle irons, white and blue booths, white and grey tables, red chairs, black and yellow tiles in a band near the ceiling, and, above that band, a long succession of posters in black, red, and white: BURT’S CHILI, WORLD’S LARGEST SERVER OF T-BONE STEAKS, AMERICA’S BEST CHICKEN. It could have been one of the most estimonian locations I had ever had our server not been so kind (would I have preferred it if she had been distant? If she hadn’t been there at all? Is the end of this taste of mine a world where people exist only in passing as brief as can be?). It was not at all how I remembered it, but it still felt right, as if the place had grown in proportion to my own maturing from a happy child in a sunlit and loud restaurant to a bedraggled 20-something in a dark and empty institution, grasping at human straws. But the food smelled good, so it couldn’t be that different. When we left, we thanked both the workers profusely. Back out in the cold (always getting colder) night, I had Audrey stand for a photo in front of the sign. In the background, I could already see both the woman so kind and the man so quiet having retreated to their corner table, waiting for their shift �Πόλις THE GADFLY to end, just to be replaced by yet another set of smiling faces. Not being able to eat at the Waffle House proper, we figured we might as well find somewhere reasonably interesting to sit. I was imagining an overlook (we had come over a hill at one point during our drive and had both gasped at the wide spreading of city lights); we drove around quite at random. Was this the moment when Fate’s noose was tightening? Were there right and wrong paths down those suburban roads and amongst the trees? Or was the outcome inevitable? I am no counterfactual oracle. All I know are the plain truths: we ended up in a parking lot right next to a lumber yard. [DB:] A forklift operator was moving stacks of wood and a few people went in and out of cars on the other end of the lot, but for the most part it was just us in the dark. The female reader will note something: I brought Audrey to a prime “murder spot.” Murder spots are dark, isolated, quiet places which my female friends have all told me that I should avoid taking anyone to if we are not close friends, but something in my tiny brain loves the calm, the removal from civilization despite being surrounded by its concrete and asphalt. This particular murder spot was made even worse by a large drainage ditch abutted by a long line of trees in front of where we parked. At one point during the night, I couldn’t stop thinking about something (tall, pale, bony, with a face all jaw and tooth) coming out of those dark woods. In defense, we left our soft music playing and all the lights on as we moved into the back seats to eat. Now, my car is not very large on the vertical axis; Audrey and I, however, are. Even with the seats down, we ended up slouched on our opposite sides of the trunk, trying quite desperately to be comfortable (failing). At the least, I hope seeing me just trying to fit my legs into a comfortable position and ending up twisted like a twonk-pretzel made the experience less unsettling for my companion (I would contend that the recent trend of ‘icks’—a man chasing a ping pong ball, doggy paddling, having a tote bag, etc.—is secretly a blessing in disguise for men: many icks emasculate you so much that you lose all semblance of attractiveness, but also any appearance of threat; my little awkward legs could not hurt a soul twisting the way they do). I suppose this is the point where I ought to review the food: Ms. Fox, far more professional than I, said “it’s everything you could want from a place December 13, 2023 like this.” Her sandwich smelled great, the hash browns were warm and simple, and my waffle was alright.…Honestly? I’d be lying to you if I said it tasted alright to me: I didn’t really taste the waffle at all. I tasted 2013. In middle school, my mom and I would go skiing almost every weekend (I stopped going in high school to do Speech and Debate (Audrey is booing me for this, I’m reminding her that she also did S&D)). We had plenty of traditions in those days: watching American Pickers and the History Channel at night (this was the prime era of Egyptian pyramid oriented conspiracies), our favorite sections of the mountain (North Star to me is not a guiding point but a bumping ride through the snow), and breakfast. We were almost always at the sort of hotels which can be found all across America: the sheets smell even stiffer than they feel, the carpet is grainy, the provided shampoo and conditioner is a mess of vaguely nice smells (but vaguely nice in an exact way. I once ruined a date being so distracted by the other person smelling like this). Breakfast in such places is always continental (the continent is evidently without much culture). I would sleep late and deep in those hard beds (puberty; no one warned me I would grow eight inches in a year; no one warned me I wouldn’t be able to stand some days); my mother, blessing that she is, would go downstairs and make me a waffle. Now, these waffles were large and puffy while the Waffle House serves a tamer, shallower breed, but the flavor (syrup, whipped butter, batter) is the exact same: unnaturally sweet and smooth, as if you were tasting dull yellow. Eating in my car in the middle of Nowhere, Maryland, I felt myself a decade prior amongst overstarched sheets and the glare of sun on snow (and realizing that I can now speak of my life in decades), thanking my mother for this waffle. So, honestly, I am probably not qualified to speak to the quality of the food. I really enjoyed it and wish we had one closer to us, but that would probably kill all the mystique of the thing (maybe it’s better to keep what we love at arm’s length). We ate it all and packed it up. I went out into the night and started to shiver (everything colder because of what I was wearing: Audrey had told me that I couldn’t dress how I am wont to do and had to appear ‘normal’; I do not own normal and warm clothes), trying to find a trash can, but there wasn’t one. I saw 21 �Πόλις THE GADFLY a cat run by, yelling at me, but it didn’t seem to know where I could dispose of our plastic leftovers. So I ended up throwing our extra syrup and bags in the back seat. I got in the front, said something (certainly rude) to Audrey, and put the key in. It was time to go home. I pushed the brake and twisted the key. The car did not start. It blinked (it blinked a lot: every damn icon I could think of blinked), the lights turned on, music played, but the car did not start. We both groaned. My car had never died before. Why does this have to be the first? What the hell does one do in this situation? I’m not social! I’m not handy! I wasn’t going to ask for help nor was I able to handle it myself. Between profuse apologies to Audrey, I called my mother. I didn’t mention anything about skiing or waffles, just asked for help in the exact same tone of voice as I had used then. She reminded me that we have AAA. So I called them next. They were very kind and helpful: they would send out a dispatcher and get everything fixed up. They said it would take an hour and forty minutes. We would, all told, be there for the next five hours. We sat in the front seats, the car slowly going colder with each passing hour. There was only one thing to do with so much time: tell stories. I, probably about two hours in, fell back on one of my favorites: the worst date of my life. I was a senior in high school. My Speech and Debate team was at UC Berkeley for a tournament. I was in charge of making sure a few younger students stayed safe when going to Trader Joe’s late at night (the question of who would give me responsibility is a legitimate one). While we were looking around the ice cream aisle, a girl came up to me: Sonya Aheavy (yes it’s a made up name, you want to do better?). I knew her: she went to the very expensive private school close to my 22 December 13, 2023 house; we had briefly interacted two years before and never since. We got to talking (read with a wink). I, like most men of any age and not of absurd beauty, had rarely been hit on. So for Sonya to come up to me, give me a little flirt, and then ask for my Snapchat? I was taken aback. I was flabbergasted. I was stunned. I was (synonyms). I said yes, absolutely, of course, yes she could have it. We messaged back and forth for the rest of the trip. We decided to go on a date the weekend after we got back from California. Now, a reasonable person might say there were plenty of red flags leading up to this date; I would kindly respond: A man who is not used to seeing any flags at all is a poor interpreter of their meaning. The reddest of these banners was that she asked me to meet her at Southglenn (she didn’t want her father to see me and that’s not even the bad part). For those of my readers who did not grow up in the very specific suburbs of Denver, Colorado where the name Southglenn means anything, I will translate: Southglenn is the movie theater/restaurant/fast fashion area where all the late middle– and early highschoolers hang out. Even 17 year olds abhor it. But I met her at Southglenn anyways. Problem was, I had been in charge of planning the date and I had planned something quite in the opposite direction. We got in the car and 15 minutes into the half an hour drive, conversation was already dying. By the time we got to our location, it needed a coroner. Now, for anyone who ever visits Denver, Colorado, I would highly recommend Karma. It’s a lovely asian restaurant on Broadway with garlic edamame that my entire family dreams about (so spicy! So smooth!) and a great interior (dark in every way, the same fish swimming in the small tank for years on end). I would not, however, recommend taking someone on a first date to one of your favorite restaurants and having that date go horribly, leaving you to remember it every time you return to what had once been such a wonderful place for you before. I do not recall a lot of the date (repressed, suppressed, thrown deep into some dark vault of my mind), but I distinctly remember us struggling so much for conversation topics that we end up talking about why we had chosen these specific outfits for this date (I was in a pink shirt with birds, she was in a colorful polka-dot, a pairing made to give headaches) and her incessantly referencing One Direction (I might have hated them an unjust amount, sure, but constantly bringing up something your date does not enjoy? Not my recommended strategy). On the drive back we �Πόλις THE GADFLY could barely manage more than a few sentences back and forth. She did, however, mention that “you wouldn’t even know how to drive my car if you got in it.” Now, you’ll recall that Sonya went to the very expensive private school, so naturally I assumed that her car was from the 23rd century, relied on telekinesis, and had its own personal AI. So when we got back to Southglenn and she asked me if I wanted to see her car, I, against all good judgement, said absolutely. When I got in, I was wholly disappointed: it was one of those early electric BMWs. Sure, it was fancy and maybe even worked a little differently from a normal car, but it had a steering wheel, not some telepathic link! Problem was, now that we were in her car, Sonya was suddenly very talkative. I was deeply confused: why was she all of a sudden talking so much? What did she want? Why prolong our suffering? After much reasoning about the human soul, I realized: she wanted a kiss. Sure, it had been a bad date, but some people are lonely and need that sort of thing (Sonya was proving far lonelier than anticipated). So I leaned over and kissed her. It was like kissing a mannequin. She did not move. At all. Lips, hands, body, all perfectly rigid. I pulled away. She said, looking me straight in the eye, “You need to get better at kissing. You kiss like a fish.” My pride was drawn, quartered, fed to the birds, and those birds promptly shot out of the sky and fed to the very fishes that I apparently kissed like: how could this horrible, no good, awful kisser tell me I was that bad? Was she right? Would she have been better off kissing one of the fish at Karma instead? Frankly, my ego hasn’t recovered (it’s been four years). But here, once again, is the problem: she was still talking. She was talking even more. We just had a bad date and a bad kiss and she decided that all of it was worth extending?? In one sense, I am not proud of what I did next; in another sense, I am very proud of what I did next (I felt like McGeiver). I kissed Sonya again and, in the midst of my fishy lipping, grabbed the door handle (it worked just the same as in normal cars) and pulled. I was already one foot out the door as the kiss ended. I said, “Well, that was great, thanks so much, have a wonderful day,” and immediately stepped out. While I ran (in embarrassment, in fear) to my car, I heard a honk behind me. I knew it was her, but when I looked back, I did not expect such a devilish smile. Later that night, she texted me: “Hey! I had a great time today! But next date, I’ll pay. When would you like to go out again?” I know that even the worst dates deserve responses, but I couldn’t December 13, 2023 bear to. I ghosted her. That story (with full dramatics) only took about 15 minutes to tell. You can imagine what hour after hour of weaving such webs back and forth would do to us. The natural mania of late night conversation—honesty cannot be had so easily in the sun—overtook us, made worse by the madness of the situation (you know it’s a mad, mad, mad world when a man so damn ironic as I start speaking from the heart). [DB:] In the interests of not saying too much, my journalistic commitment to laying everything bare must be held back at this moment. Just know that if you ever want to get me talking, you just have to strand yourself with me in a parking lot between the hours of 1 and 4 a.m. After 5 hours, our assistance showed up. He was a random man in a grey hoodie (was he always awake, working at this hour?). He connected what looked like a large phone to the battery and asked me to start the car. It worked. I practically erupted. Audrey and I slapped hands, screamed, laughed. I thanked the AAA man over and over. I thanked him even when he was out of earshot as we drove down the road. We were back, baby! Now, the observant reader will do some math: we left for The Waffle House at 11:15, drove for about an hour, and then were in the parking lot for five hours, drove an hour back, putting us at 6:15 a.m. But I promised that this saga would end six hours late: 8 in the morning. But would I ever lie to you dear reader? No, I would simply withhold information (a life strategy, even if my therapist says otherwise). We were in fact back at the college by 23 �Πόλις THE GADFLY 6:15, but I had already promised to give Audrey a ride to the train station at 7:30. On our way back (driving through the Baltimore tunnel, music droning) we had agreed that after all we had been through, we could make it a couple more hours. We started walking back from the parking lot. Almost everyone’s lights were out (I have plenty of questions for those rooms which weren’t dark). For a moment, we stood on the quad, looking up at the blank windows. I had the urge to scream, but Audrey convinced me otherwise: some other less exhausted time. We found the rest of the city just as dark. I wondered, my feet catching on the bricks of the sidewalk, whether anyone heard us outside their window and wondered what we were up to. I tried to think up possible scenarios: late night Monday partying, but we were both stunningly sober; drug dealing, but we walked with no such secrecy or confidence; recent escapers of a murder spot? Well, that was fairly close. But I don’t think anyone in their right mind would have given the correct answer. Walking so quiet, we had no destination, not wanting to wake our roommates at whatever the godless hour may be (despite my roommates’ penchant for 5 a.m. alarms). So we just kept going, following Prince George straight down, looking in the windows at all the empty places and dark rooms. I feel like I ought to recognize a fair few of the cars which park on that road, having lived there for more than a year, but everything seemed rather distant and hazy in the street lamps (though less hazy than before: they’ve replaced the purple lights with white lights that buzz like all hell). Eventually, we could go no more: we were at the bay. 24 December 13, 2023 I always want to be able to look out across the bay into some great blue yonder, that sublime vastness evoked from Homer through Melville and onto us. But you can always see the opposite side, even at night (those great towers of steel and red lights flashing, reminding you that this is merely a small, small piece). The ocean is something I have always loved, running into it every chance that I got as a child, coming back to my parents practically blue with cold. So, on most days, that enclosed little piece of the grey mother only frustrates me. Things were different on this night. We sat down on a bench which had been forcibly moved closer to the bay. Waves beat a slow rhythm against the wood and the mega yachts alike, a calm pulsing of: hush, hush, hush. The air was not salty, not even all that humid. It lacked almost everything I love so much in the ocean. And, suddenly, that was okay; after such a long night of memories (for you, dear reader, they seem so short and simple; for me, they were each and every one a wrenching of my soul back and forth in time), I could look out on the water and say, quite honestly: it reminded me of nothing at all. It merely existed. The slow bobbing of the boats, the way moonlight caught on the shallow ripples, even the border made by the far side, I could look at it all straight on, unflinching. One day, all this too will become memory, associated with the nostalgia of my “college days” and some beauty of youth that I am entirely unaware of as I live it; even in writing this, I am condemning myself to think of these very words and associations each time I return there (I am burning the forest such that you might know how much it meant to me); for that moment, I was simply there. Audrey and I did not talk so much. For all of our long night together, there was still that gap between us (represented here by a couple feet of bench space). I am not sure if this is maturing or simply giving up, but I have come to accept that gap. Yes, I had learned plenty about her (looking over for a brief second, smiling a little) and she had learned even more about me, but did I feel understood? Did I feel I understood her? Could I somehow say: this is her? Could she say: this is him? How could she know? She did not know my favorite novel, did not know my worst fears, did not know my greatest regrets. And then? If we kept confessing all night long? Would there be any more closeness? I looked back at the bay. No, I am not so sure I believe that anyone could cross that gap. �Πόλις THE GADFLY Out of the black sky and waves, the sun began to rise. At first, there was only greyness, but soon I was reminded of the failure of all poets: who could speak back into being this succession of pink and gold and red, twisting upon what thin clouds remain after the cold night, the effusion which goes so far beyond simple color, calling up some animal instinct that makes us want only to stare (animal instinct for what? Is there, in the animal’s soul, also a form of beauty?). All I can say is: I smiled at each new bursting wave of light, spreading so gently across everything. It had been so long since I had seen the sun. After a while, I looked back at Audrey and said, “We should get some breakfast.” So, lucky as you are my friend, you get two food reviews in one: we decided on Naval Bagels. First, we had to stop by the Fox’s Den (not the restaurant, the den of Ms. Audrey Fox) and pick up her bag (I spent my entire time staring at the front door, wondering why it doesn’t fit its frame in the slightest). By the time we were back out on the street, the sunrise was already fading into a pale blue. The rolling of the suitcase behind us seemed to call the whole world back to life. There were people running. There were voices in windows. Of course, there were no signs of life on the St. John’s campus, but that’s how it always is. We threw the bag in my trunk and got in. My car started this time. Naval Bagels was much calmer than I am used to, probably because we were there before 7 a.m. on a random Tuesday (the grind!). The highlight for me is always the large whiteboard they have on the far wall. This time, I noticed that they include, amongst the birthdays and fun facts, high and low tide times. What a horribly oceanic city we live in. In time’s interest, we ate while I drove us to the train station. I am a two bagel sort of guy, always getting one sweet and one savory. I had veggie cream cheese on pumperknickel everything and a booster (peanut butter, honey, bananas) on cinnamon raisin. The bagels have a nice chew and the cream cheese is smooth. There’s a wide selection for the adventurous and reliability for the anxious. Do I wish we were sitting in a deli surrounded by old people with a poster of Guy Fieri fading on the wall? Yes. But we had places to be (spending yet another hour in my little subaru). For a while, we were worried that we would not make it to those places in time (poor planning despite having, quite literally, all night), but I will not December 13, 2023 try to create false last minute tension for the reader: Audrey made it to her train home for Thanksgiving and I, after a long ride home in silence and walking down those brick sidewalks once again, made it back to my apartment and hobbled up to my room, not a hero and not really victorious, but very, very tired. I pulled the blinds on the full-fledged brightness of the day and got in bed. Normally—as Audrey and I discussed during our time in the parking lot—I am a very bad sleeper, rolling back and forth for what seems to be hours (thinking about how things could have been, could go). But, for some reason that I’ll leave to the reader to figure out, I fell straight asleep, feeling quite full and content. 25 �Πόλις THE GADFLY December 13, 2023 Translation of Baudelaire’s “Le Balcon” By Luke Briner Mother of memories, mistress of mistresses, O you, all of my joy, and all my servitude! Remember those caresses of such darling ease, The sweetness of the hearth and twilight’s charming mood, Mother of memories, mistress of mistresses! The evenings lightened by the ember’s gentle heat, The evenings on the terrace, veiled in vap’rous rose, Your heart to me so kind, your breast to me so sweet! Imperishable words between us oft arose, The evenings lightened by the ember’s gentle heat. How beautiful the suns in those warm evenings grew! How deep is space!—how powerful the heart’s intent! O all-beloved Queen, as I reposed on you, I thought that I breathed in your blood’s perfuméd scent. How beautiful the suns in those warm evenings grew! The darkness had surrounded us as though a wall; Yet my eyes found yours even in the creeping shade, And I drank in your breath, delight and poison all! And your feet in my worshipful hands sleeping laid. The darkness had surrounded us as though a wall. I know how to recall the joy of bygone days, And reminisce as I lie nestled in your thighs; For where should I seek your unbothered beauty’s haze But in that place where your sweet heart and aspect lies? I know how to recall the joy of bygone days! Those fragrances, those oaths, those kisses without end, Can they be found again in voids we cannot see, Just as the the morning sun into the sky ascends, New-purified in the deep chasm of the sea? —O fragrances! O oaths! O kisses without end! 26 �Πόλις THE GADFLY December 13, 2023 exultation By Natalie Goldman Give more of your Down-trodden heart— The fibers deserve to be Rewoven into a shape that fits you. Nothing I see could ever Strike me as fate struck you, Hand across the face And pretty with blood. Nothing to me is necessary, Not even thank yous made of mist and glamor. I couldn’t imagine a tenderer burden Or one more worthy of exultation. The Seraph By Luke Briner As when in Shamayim’s supremest height, Refulgent crown of all created things, The Seraph veils itself with trembling wings Before Jehovah’s all-confounding light, And—too abashed to bear the awesome sight— Instead to him in solemn chorus sings Or raises serenades with golden strings In worshipful and self-effacing fright, So I, O Love, of yet less worthy race, Turn from you conscience-stricken and afraid, And, not deserving to behold your face, Conceal my own in sin-engendered shade, Compelled from this obscurer, paler place To venerate the Good from which I’ve strayed. 27 �THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, staff, and alumni of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and thought provoking newsmagazine. Submissions sent to the Gadfly should either be in Google Docs or PDF format. For more information, contact us via email at lbriner@sjc.edu. 60 COLLEGE AVENUE ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 Photographs without a listed source are from the St. John's College Digital Archives. St. John's College owns the rights to these photographs. Illustrations without a listed source are by Takashi Mifune from Irasutoya.com and are free to use for non-commercial purposes. All rights to these illustrations still belong to the artist. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 28 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XLV, Issue 5 Description An account of the resource Volume XLI, Issue 5 of The Gadfly. Published December 13, 2023. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Briner, Luke (Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2023-12-13 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource College students' writings--Periodicals College student newspapers and periodicals St. John's College--Periodicals Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly Vol XLV Issue 5 Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/7d91245b07bfa16f10f59425ec890e98.pdf 9ec74e040292be5ec212af7b3bfbcdff PDF Text Text THE St. John’s College Annapolis, Maryland GADFLY Snow Days & St. John’s Ways January 25, 2024 Vol. XLV, Issue 6 �Letter from the Editor CONTENTS Λόγος : Dear Polity, Greenfield Library Announcement 3 An Interview with Delaney Costello, Founder of the Feminist Reading Group by Natalie Goldman 3 Interviews with the Washed-Up Crew Captains by Bennett Scott 5 ΣυμπόσιονÊ: Thoughts on the St. John’s Class by Luke Briner Insider Ethnography: An Alumna’s Exploration of a College Tradition (Part One) by Maura Sugg 7 10 ΠόλιςÊ:Ê Be the Problem Child by B.S. 16 On the Greenfield Library’s “Quiet Zone” by Molly Sprout 17 “A Junior’s Plea” from the SJC Digital Archives 18 A Reflection on Winter Break by Vivian Miyakawa 19 SJC Mystery #6: Trapped by Bennett Scott 20 Photography Highlight: Winter & Writing by Abigail Poppleton 22 We at the Gadfly hope that you’ve had a wonderful break, and an equally wonderful beginning to the second semester! As always, my most sincere gratitude is extended to our managing editor Mr. Nichols-Kaufman, our designer Ms. Nghiêm, and our entire fantastic staff. It’s because of them that our little publication is able to go along as it does. I would also like to briefly update that I now have the privilege of both formally and functionally continuing this semester as sole editor-in-chief. Please enjoy! Luke Briner, Editor-in-chief THE STRUCTURE Λόγος holds news reports and narratives of immediate relevance to the Polity. ΣυμπόσιονÊoffers strong, developed opinions regarding various topics. ΠόλιςÊserves as a platform for elevating voices in our community. THE GADFLY STAFF COVER EDITOR-INMANAGING EDITOR STAFF Abigail Poppleton Luke Briner El’ad NicholsKaufman Benne Sco Vivian Miyakawa Tamar Pinsky Louis Rosenberg YOUT Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm CONTRIBUTORS Natalie Goldman Maura Sugg Jacob Klein Snowman by McDowell Hall, circa 1949-1958 2 Molly Sprout �Λόγος THE GADFLY January 25, 2024 A Message from the Greenfield Library: Exciting News! Greenfield Library is implementing The Quiet Zone in the basement of the library, beginning at the start of the Spring 2024 semester. Perfect for those seeking a serene and focused environment, this space will provide a tranquil place to concentrate and work without noisy disturbances. We understand the importance of uninterrupted, quiet, study time, and this zone has been designated with your academic success in mind. Plus, we've got you covered for group study, or a friendly chat, with our Cohen Group Study Room, which you can reserve by using the QR code below. Whether you need solitude or collaboration, your library is here to support your academic journey. Drop by today! An Interview with Delaney Costello, Founder of the Feminist Reading Group By Natalie Goldman A new Feminist Reading Group was recently created on campus by freshman Delaney Costello, with the support of tutors Ms. Nelson and Ms. Spearman. The first meeting took place on December 13th, seminar style, drawing from the works of poets Anyte and Emily Dickinson. I asked Ms. Costello a few questions about her experience starting the group. Goldman: How did the idea to start the reading group come to you? Costello: The idea to start the reading group came around the time of the first all-college seminar on Ecclesiastes when I realized that Johnnies were willing and excited to read and discuss works outside of the curriculum entirely. Personally, I had been feeling frustrated with just how male The Great Books Program is, with a grand total of maybe five books written by women in our entire time at the college, and the way those rare gender conversations had gone in my classes. The few times an interesting female character would come up, I often felt a lack of interest or empathy from my classmates, and those conversations would quickly dissipate. I think you miss out on so much if you never read or consider the perspective of half of the population, so I thought if we could create a space where everyone in the room really wanted to read and discuss women, we could supplement what the curriculum was missing and benefit from the opportunity of learning from each other. G: What made you think to get Ms. Nelson and Ms. Spearman involved? How did they help you in the planning process? C: I adore Ms. Nelson and Ms. Spearman! I had coffee with each of them, and to both I expressed my interest in reading more about women, and we had the kind of engaging and honest conversations I'd been wanting in class. Ms. Nelson was so kind as to email Ms. Munsey and come back to me with a group of students who'd want to start a feminist reading group, and Ms. Spearman had told me that she and Ms. Kirby were thinking the same thing, at which point came the exciting part of working together to envision what we wanted the group to be. I came up with an idea of a reading list of works from ancient history to now that I wanted to read and sought their advice and input, and Ms. Spearman created her own list of suggestions that we're incorporating into a plan for second semester. And of course, they both made time for an extracurricular seminar in their busy schedules, which I appreciate very much! G: Tell me about how you decided on which readings to start with. C: The idea for the group would be to work chronologically through history, just like the Great Books program, and Ms. Spearman suggested 3 �Λόγος THE GADFLY Anyte as a great ancient Greek poet to start with, and kindly provided her very own translations! We thought it may be interesting to pair her with the more modern and popular Emily Dickinson, as a reading that would be short enough to be accessible and entice people to come, because who doesn't love Emily Dickinson? G: What are some of your goals for the group? What do you hope attendees will take away from their experience? C: My main goal for the group is just that we make time to work together respectfully and read works we might not read otherwise. I hope to explore gender roles and study the impact and development of feminism throughout time, and I hope as attendees we each can exercise our empathy to see where these women were coming from and think about how we can apply their ideas to today. I also notice that in class, women are often talked over and interrupted, and maybe don't feel confident in their ideas, and I hope we can create an environment where that is not the case. G: Could you sum up your feelings about how the first meeting went? C: I was happy with how the first meeting went! I really didn't know what to expect, but I was so pleased that we had a group that filled a seminar table and didn't feel too large or too small. I was grateful that two other tutors came, and that almost half the seminar were men who were just as eager to read women as I was! Of course there were bumps in the road that we'll smooth out, like the group just being unfamiliar with each other and six poems being way too many for one seminar, but most attendees seemed to enjoy it, which is all I could ask for! I love reading Emily Dickinson, but she can be wildly confusing, so I really appreciated hearing what other people thought of her poems, and it was special to take our time and work our way through each line, a kind of close reading we don't always get to do in seminar. We paid her such attention that we unfortunately didn't even get to the Anyte poetry, but that just gives us more to look forward to next time! G: Do you have any readings picked out for future meetings? Can you give us any hints as to what we can look forward to? C: Yes! I have this fantasy of creating a reading list in the exact same format as the Great Books curriculum, on official letterhead, working chronologically from my freshman to senior year, 4 January 25, 2024 just completely women of course, though I realize we may be a bit more flexible than that. We want to work in a balance of both explicitly feminist theory and just literature by women, and hopefully it can be a group that continues throughout the next few years, since we'll start with much older works this semester and probably not get to the modern day for a while. For this semester, some ideas include: more Anyte, Sappho, Marie de France, Hildegard of Bingen, Christine de Pizan, and some other mystics. In the later history, some ideas I'm ecstatic about are: Mary Wollstonecraft, Mary Shelley, the Bronte sisters, Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, bell hooks, Simone de Beauvoir and Toni Morrison. But there are so many more, and I want to read as much as we possibly can! G: Is there anything else you'd like the Polity to know regarding the club or future meeting dates? C: We will publicize future meeting dates through email and posters, but generally, we're thinking of meeting twice a month on Wednesdays. I would like the Polity to know that meetings are open to anyone who wishes to engage with the text, no matter who you are or how many meetings you can come to! As long as you've read the text and want to talk about it, you should feel welcome to come! And if you have any questions or suggestions, please email me [at dmcostello@sjc.edu]. Three Female Students Discussing a Book �Λόγος THE GADFLY January 25, 2024 Interviews with the Washed-Up Crew Captains By Benne Sco Crew is an essential institution at St. John’s College. They meet at ungodly hours for months on end (I know because my roommate’s alarm goes off at 4:50 a.m. every Monday, Wednesday, Friday during those months) and really put their hearts into it. For some people, crew becomes essential to their personalities, it becomes their whole personality. And then the season ends. Worst of all are the senior captains who, without a firm stick to grab while someone yells at them, retreat into the lonely sadness of winter. I tracked down two of them to ask the hard hitting questions. Hannah Chavers; from @sjcaxolotlrowing on IG “She Caught Crabs”: Hannah Chavers So Hannah, who are you? My name’s Hannah Chavers…uh yeah. [Ben Maier in the back: I can fact check anything she says.] What’s your favorite kind of oar? I like a nice silicone grip. How do you feel about boats? I love boats, boats of all kinds. I spent my summer on a boat, a different kind of boat, but a boat. Why do you go to regattas? Not to win. To prove…not to prove…to scout out the competition and I don’t mean in a rowing sense. I mean in a physical way. Is that making sense?…Yeah I just like to see the difference in physical stature between St. John’s College athletes and Georgetown college athletes. There’s just something so remarkable about how big a man’s quad can be. How do you feel about the swim test? I feel like it’s life-threatening, kind of. Y’know, the swim test made someone convert to orthodox Christianity. Don’t take the swim test in jeans, cause then you might drown. And then find Jesus. You might not have walked on the water, but Jesus did one time. Who are the best four people to have in a boat? I’d say Barack Obama is quad material. And he’s got good quads. Mary Magdalene. She would have passed the swim test. Me. Certainly me…Who’s problematic but really muscular?…I’m just saying the only reason anyone shows up to crew is because they in some capacity don’t like themselves.…Anyways, Ringo Star. Mixed quad. If you don’t know what a mixed quad is, your hands are full at all times. It’s really hard to focus. How do you keep your eyes on the prize? [Ben Maier: And you can’t see anyone’s butts.] She caught crabs? First of all, it has nothing to do with sex. It’s when somebody doesn’t move their oar in the correct manner [she says a lot here about oars and shit idk]. It could be taken as a euphemism. It’s a way of trying to make you feel better that you fucked up. We’re blaming this tiny creature that has no way of making you mess up that bad. But everyone knows you messed up. I caught a crab once. Have you ever had religious experiences in a boat? Like the face of God looking down on me? Staring at me? Gazing at me? No. No I have not. Do I think I could? One day, maybe. Have you ever seen God in a boat? Let’s interview you. Have you ever caught a crab? Do you have crabs? 5 �Λόγος THE GADFLY Peter Boersema; from @sjcaxolotlrowing on IG “What Do You Do with a Sober Sailor?”: Peter Boersema January 25, 2024 I don’t feel self conscious about the equipment… I feel self conscious about…[everyone, in sync:] us. I rowed freshman year in an old four called the Scott Buchannan and it’s a very heavy boat and I remember saying: “Light boats breed weak crews.” These other school’s boats are named after random donors; I bet none of them are as cool as Scott Buchannan. But I do remember when the Arby’s boat was passing us. [laughter.] Who are the four worst people to have in a boat? I’d say Odysseus because all the other people will die. And I would say probably Gilligan from Gilligan’s island. Captain of the Titanic? No… Dictators. If you look on the Wikipedia page for “rowboat,” the first picture is of Khrushchev [update: the page is "watercraft" and this apparently has not been true since June 2023 thanks to the no-fun attitude of Wikipedia editor Iljhgtn]. So he’d be bad. A gorilla would be the fourth worst person because…I think the power of a gorilla would not be enough to overcome their bad technique. What is the liquid you most want to row on? Wow…yeah…[long contemplation with everyone giving input: vodka, liquid nitrogen, ethanol]… What’s really smooth? The real question is what liquid you want to be splashed by. I’d say water but it’s the type of water at fancy events with cucumber in it. Rose petals. Something like that. I’d like to row on a lake of cucumber water. What do you yell at people? I don’t yell. If you’re yelling while you’re rowing, you’re not spending enough energy on rowing. But if I did…because of that principle, I would yell “Shut up!” Do you fear the cold hand of death? No. What boats could you beat in a fight? I’m not actually going to give any details, but I beat the boat called the Jim Beall in a fight. I do not care to clarify. Have you drowned? Yes. I am in fact the reincarnation of Herman T. Wooters. Does the beard help with air resistance? Follow up: does it make you feel like a real sailor? No and no, but it helps keep my face warm. Can you walk on water? Only for a little bit, but as soon as I look down, I fall. You probably read about the incident in Sophomore year. What do you think about when rowing? You always have to be focusing on your technique and how it’s syncing up with the technique of other people in the boat and how you’re conveying power from your legs to the oar. Do you think about anyone’s ass? Your own? My own? It starts to hurt after a while on that wooden seat. Do you feel self conscious during the regattas when First Secretary of the Soviet Union Nikita Khrushchev, Swedish high schools have more modern equipment than Prime Minister Tage Erlander, and an interpreter in a rowboat; from an older Wikipedia page for “Watercra ” SJC? 6 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY Thoughts on the St. John’s Class By Luke Briner EDITOR’S NOTE: This essay was originally published in issue XLV.4 of the Gadfly under the same title. It is reproduced here, with some adjustments and additions, for the consideration of Polity at the beginning of our second semester. -LB What is the nature of the St. John’s class, and what attitude should we, as members of the St. John’s community, take toward it? These two questions are points of great dissent among students and faculty alike, and the way in which each person answers has radical effects on how they behave in their classes and what they intend to get out of them. Recognizing this, I’ve felt the desire to formally work through both of them, looking to the philosophy of the College itself as well as to the firsthand experience of myself and others. I hope that by setting out on this inquiry, and by attempting to shed light on the principles upon which our classes seem to be based as well as their natural consequences for our own behavior, I can help the Polity come to a clearer and more beneficial understanding of them, or at the very least deepen the discourse surrounding them. We will begin by setting out the foundations upon which the College’s pedagogical philosophy is based. I take the first and ultimate principle of the Program to be “the liberation of the human intellect.”1 This liberation is not simply freedom from previous ignorance or bias, but is, more profoundly, the achievement of a self-consciousness, mental autonomy, and intellectual virtue through the sincere application of one’s mind to what’s most essential and worthy within itself. Our method for achieving this ultimate kind of liberation is the study of Great January 25, 2024 Books. Since these books, as Buchanan observes, “communicate with great skill ideas that human experience has taught us are important,”2 and thereby allow us to “tune in on the Great Conversation that we call civilization,”3 the hope of the Program is that their sincere and sustained study will produce in the student the eminent qualities of “an educated man— that is, one who has learned to read, to use his mind imaginatively and rigorously.”4 I take the second principle of the Program to be that this liberation is to be pursued communally. “Liberal learning,” as Brann observes, “is by its nature conversational….the student is not the passive recipient of knowledge but an active participant in a common search.”5 By participating in this search, we do more than simply “tune in” to the Great Conversation the each text is a part of; instead, we actually simulate our own conversation around the Books themselves, and thereby give our ourselves a the opportunity to exercise our minds in a way that surpasses the limitations of solitary thought. Since classes thus centered around dialogue and intellectual community can “reach insights far beyond the views of any of its members,”6 the Program makes them the sole vehicle of our education; our colleagues are made our very means of liberation, and we are equally made theirs. Accepting these principles, the ideal nature of both the St. John’s class as a whole as well as that of the individual student naturally begins to take shape. Recognizing that their ultimate objective is the liberation of their own minds, and that communal dialogue centered around Great Books is the way to achieve this, the ideal student will work as hard as they can to promote the well-being, the efficacy of that dialogue. In understanding that the conversational Whole is by nature greater than themselves, and that their good is to be found only within that Whole, they will therefore always act in accordance with what’s best for that Whole. If each student commits themselves earnestly to this responsibility, then the class becomes effectively its own organism: a living, breathing Order in and through which “harmony is actual and immediate.”7 This is the ideal of every class, and each student should therefore consider working toward the 1 Statement of the Program, 3. Buchanan, “Now and to Come: Liberal Education: A Common Adventure,” The Antioch Review, Autumn, 1955, Vol. 15, No. 3, 302. 3 Buchanan, ibid. 4 Buchanan, 304. 5 Brann, A Manifesto for Liberal Education, 2015. 6 Statement of the Program, 5. 7 Luchene, Beginnings of Community, 1999, 4. 2 7 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY realization of that ideal as their highest responsibility. However, by virtue of the very communal and voluntary nature of our classes, many if not most of them will fall far short of this ideal. A near-total freedom from explicitly enunciated structure and rules, as well as from objective criteria or judgements of academic performance, makes it very easy to fall from the discipline that those classes demonstrably both require and aim to instill. But if genuine moral liberation remains our ultimate goal, and if communal inquiry around Great Books is our only means of attaining to that end, then the fact that such inquiry easily and often fails to maintain its integrity, and thereby that such attainment is rare and by no means a foregone conclusion, is a clear indication of the fragility of the Program itself. An understanding of this seems to be the foundation for the Programs’ reasoning behind the institution of tutors. Just as a polyphony, in order to achieve the supreme interpersonal and suprapersonal Beauty it’s so capable of, requires a conductor to keep each part in its place and preserve the νόμος of the whole, so too the intellectual polyphony of dialogue requires an authoritative presence capable of setting and enforcing its own necessary νόμος. If this is right, then it follows that the role of tutor as a laissez-faire facilitator, so often referenced and praised by students and faculty alike, is greatly overemphasized. Tutors should not, as Luchene notes, “merely facilitate conversations.”8 Rather, they should “guide the conversation, sometimes steering it in a particular direction, sometimes listening and letting it take its own course, and occasionally, steering it around an unpromising detour.”9 If tutors were only facilitators or democratic participants, then they would be just another student; and if that is the only capacity in which they act, then what’s the point of having them in the class as tutors at all? Rather, tutors are and should be understood as authoritative figures capable of acting outside the specific context of the conversation in order to ensure that it proceeds in the appropriately respectful and equitable way. If they aren’t, then the polyphony will lack a conductor, and so will be exposed to the danger of falling into the cacophony that we are all far too familiar with. We should, then, resist the temptation to interpret the Statement’s assertion that “the primary role of the 8 Learning Through Conversation at St. John’s College, 2015. Learning Through Conversation at St. John’s College. Statement of the Program, 5. 11 Learning Through Conversation at St. John’s College. 9 10 8 January 25, 2024 leaders [tutors] is not to give information, nor is it to produce the ‘right’ opinion or interpretation”10 as claiming that tutors simply shouldn’t assert anything in class, but instead carefully distinguish between the two modes of assertion that the tutor is capable of operating within. While tutors should of course avoid dogmatic assertions about the text insofar as they are simply another participant in the conversation, they should actually at the same time quite dogmatically assert the bounds within which that very conversation must take place, e.g., keeping it “cooperative and respectful, not competitive,”11 and ensuring that no one person takes away from everyone else’s education by their obstinacy or negligence. This perspective on students and tutors is not only wholly consistent with the stated ideals and doctrine of the Program but also readily confirmed by our personal experiences. Recall to yourself the petty bickering that so conversations devolve into when left unchecked, or the student who believes, God knows why, that he’s the smartest person in every room and dominates every discussion regardless of how much his bluster exasperates his colleagues and disrupts their learning, or the tutor that actively derails the intellectual work of their own class by constant interruptions and digressions, or, inversely, allows student-originated derailment to persist and worsen by doing nothing at all—recall, and then ask yourself whether you’ve felt liberated by the classes where such behavior was allowed to occur and persist. I’d venture to say that, on the contrary, the classes which really have been liberating for us are exactly those in which all its participants conscientiously submit themselves to the common good rather than to their own egos, and in which the tutor, sometimes joining as a humble participant from within and sometimes acting as a firm but beneficent guide from without, ensures and enhances the conversation’s civility and fruitfulness. We should say, then, that those who refuse to submit to that unspoken but strict order which a good class necessitates on the grounds that it “doesn’t personally benefit them” completely fail to understand that their benefit is derived entirely from the excellence of that very order, and, likewise that tutors who are unwilling to correctly assert their authority for the sake of that order do both their students and the Program itself a disservice, since they damage the �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY education of the former and contradict the intent of the latter. I want to add to this my conviction that students who participate too much in class are significantly more harmful than those who participate too little. Although both obviously do a disservice to the class, their nature and intensity are of entirely different orders. While silent students harm the class passively by withholding contributions they might have improved the conversation with, the student who dominates conversations actively derails and often outright destroys the very cohesion and equity that any successful class requires. If this is true, then I can’t help but question why many tutors and the College itself tend to review and grade silent students more harshly than toward students that refuse to ever be silent, given that the latter is a much worse citizen in our intellectual πόλις than the former. In short, the “sons of pride”12 in our classes should be humbled, not enabled. On the same principles, we should view with skepticism Barr’s suggestion that interrupting colleagues in conversation can be acceptable or even beneficial.13 Perhaps in some exceptional cases a few quick interjections might really be a “point of order”14 in dialogue; but this is a dangerous precedent to set generally. Internalizing the idea that interruption is even conditionally acceptable will inevitably lead most of us, inexperienced and inconsiderate as we are, to feel bolder in crudely interrupting others, and thus only cause further disorder and resentment. We should likewise be very careful about how we take Kalkavage’s15 exhortation to “not despair”16 when conversational degeneration occurs, since, he claims, this is a part of the way in which “we learn the art of using our freedom.”17 While certainly some space should be given in which classes may do better or worse, since openness and spontaneity is always the lifeblood of dialogue, this must be kept firmly within the realm of genuine dialectic rather than allowed to degenerate into what Barr calls the “eristic.”18 To tolerate the flagrant disregard of the conversational standards which we have all elected to submit ourselves to in the name of “freedom” is, at its core, just as nonsensical as believing that laws should January 25, 2024 be established but never enforced, since if society didn’t have the “freedom” to collapse at any moment, it would also not have the “freedom” to prosper in peace. No—our freedom, our liberation does not consist in anarchy or in trying to live and learn under the constant and unchecked threat of it, but precisely in the continued and safeguarded existence of a genuine πόλις between ourselves and others. Finally, I want to sincerely apologize for the times that I have failed and will fail to meet the standards set out above. I am genuinely ashamed of these failures, and will continue to try to make up for and move past them to the very best of my ability. What I want to communicate through all of this, above all to myself, is the necessity of taking responsibility for our own education. What we give to the Program is what the Program will give back to us, and if we want to have better classes, then we have to begin by holding ourselves to a universal standard of academic and conversational excellence. Let me, and let us all, then, aspire to this standard, and to more liberating classes for everyone. 12 Job 41:34 (ASV). Barr, Notes on Dialogue, 3-4 Barr, 4 15 Since I’m dealing with Mr. Kalkavage as a thinker here and not as a tutor, I have omitted the typical honorific. 16 Kalkavage, “Winged Words: On the Importance of Reading and Discussing Great Books,” 2003, 15. 17 Kalkavage, ibid. 18 Barr, 2-3. 13 14 9 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY January 25, 2024 Maura Sugg leads St. John’s students in the singing of “Sicut Cervus” from Tim Pra ’s article on sjc.edu on Oct. 7, 2016 Insider Ethnography: An Alumna’s Exploration of a College Tradition (Part One) By Maura Sugg EDITOR’S NOTE: This inspiring essay was offered to the Gadfly by Maura Sugg, a recent alumna of the college (A17). With her gracious permission, it will be produced in two parts over this and our following issue. -LB It’s 2:15 on a Wednesday, and the sounds of chatter and footsteps reverberate up and down the stairwell. Some people rush through, eager to get wherever they need to be. Others stop on the main landing, finding friends and forming themselves into a circle. Maybe they are just passing through and stop because they see others gathering. Or, maybe they are there because they know what is about to begin. 10 Suddenly, an A-flat rings out from the piano on the landing, once or twice to get the group’s attention and again to provide the starting pitch for the now-hushed crowd-turned-choir. The hand that had pressed the piano’s key moves in time in the air, down, up, down, up. Then, the singing begins. The motive passes from tenors to altos to sopranos to basses, and soon the stairwell is filled with glorious polyphony. Some people brought music with them, but many are singing from memory. They make eye contact with each other and smile, or they close their eyes and sway with the contour of their voice part. After three minutes, they reach the final chord, holding out the consonant sonority until the conducting hand gently cuts them off. Another brief moment of silence, stillness. Seemingly as if nothing had happened, the �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY before-noises are back, the crowd disperses, and its members go about the rest of their day. That is the typical experience of “Sicut Sing,” a tradition at the Annapolis campus of St. John’s College during which students convene to sing Sicut cervus, a piece of sacred Renaissance polyphony by renowned composer Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina. Students learn the piece in Freshman Chorus, a required part of the curriculum in which all freshman meet weekly to learn—broadly—how to sing.1 They again encounter it in Sophomore Music, when they study it in the context of Renaissance theorist Gioseffo Zarlino to learn the conventions of counterpoint. It was after analyzing Sicut cervus in this context that then-sophomore Eric Fricke fell in love with the piece and wanted to sing it with others more often, leading to his creation of Sicut Sing (Pratt 2016). I personally consider Sicut Sing an integral part of my experience at St. John’s, which I attended 2013-2017. As a prospective student, I already knew Sicut cervus from a high school choir, and Sicut Sing was a factor in drawing me to the school. I then truly fell in love with the piece as a freshman, and I was lucky to have been handed the torch to lead Sicut Sing at the beginning of my junior year. I recognize that my experience with it was unique among most Johnnies, especially those uninterested in singing. And yet, sometimes as many as forty students, and not always the same students, would show up at Sicut Sing each week.2 There is something special about the tradition that draws people to it, and this “something special” is what I wish to investigate. Why did Sicut Sing stick? Why do students, under no formal obligation, continue to take time out of the middle of their Wednesday and congregate to sing a piece of Renaissance polyphony? These are the guiding questions of my inquiry. Drawing on my own experiences and recollections, as well as interviews with four members of my graduating class who frequently attended, I seek to uncover the layers of meaning involved in the tradition.3 Based on what observations I did gather, however, a number of interesting themes emerged that resonate with modern philosophical and ethnomusicological discourses. Through a combination of primary and secondary literature, I invoke Michel de Certeau, Mircea Eliade, Émile Durkheim, William James, and January 25, 2024 Susanne Langer, among others, to try to make sense of why Sicut Sing is so beloved. My conclusions weave together my ethnographic findings with discussions of space and place, the sacred and the profane, collective effervescence, affect theory, and religious experience. The resulting tapestry reveals that the particular conditions of Sicut Sing can engender the engagement of the individual with the collective in a manner akin to religious ritual through a musical semblance that affects its singers while simultaneously making them aware of their affectivity. Because of the nature of the school, its students—whether they know it or not—seem to crave this kind of event, which is both a respite from and reflection of the St. John’s experience. ContextÊandÊaÊNoteÊonÊEthnographyÊandÊ Methodology As with any tradition, Sicut Sing can only be understood in its context. While a full description of the St. John’s College environment would take too long to include here, nor would it be necessary for the Gadfly’s readers, a few details about the school are in order to highlight the facets that make Sicut Sing such a natural part of the school. Tucked away in a little corner of the historic city of Annapolis, MD, the college occupies its own version of reality that many have come to call the “Johnnie Bubble,” a selfcontained community that operates separately from the world around it. Part of this is due to the school’s size; with less than five hundred students, most people know or at least recognize each other, and every student develops their own role within the fabric of the polity. Another contributor to the atmosphere is the seminar-style nature of the classes. Every course at St. John’s is based on the discussion of primary texts, with ten to twenty students sitting around a table conversing freely with only slight direction from the tutor, who may ask an opening question or guide the discussion when students hit a snag. The discursive, student-led spirit of the classroom setting extends to extracurriculars, which are powered by student initiative, and to the casual conversations of daily life. The strongest force that creates the Johnnie Bubble, though, is the St. John’s curriculum itself. Called the Program, it includes foundational texts of the Western canon in a number 1 Pieces in the Freshman Chorus anthology include chant and traditional monophonic songs or rounds, Renaissance polyphony, Bach chorales, Mozart’s Ave Verum Corpus, and a few more ambitious choral works. 2 Out of a student body of less than 500, this is not a small percentage. 3 In a different context and with more time, I know that expanding my pool of interviewees would nuance my discoveries. 11 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY of disciplines, and it does not afford any specialization or consultation of secondary literature in class. All students take the same classes, read the same texts, grapple with the same questions, and earn the same degree. Given these aspects of the Johnnie Bubble, it makes sense why Sicut Sing was ever able to work in the first place. It is a time for people to experience an enhanced version of the college’s tightknit community and to participate in a quasiconversational process by singing a polyphonic piece that everyone knows. This paper is, in a sense, an ethnography of the St. John’s community through the lens of Sicut Sing. I want to understand why the tradition works so well in its environment. As I mentioned, though, this environment is one in which I have insider status.4 My observations and analysis are shaped by a deep love for St. John’s that I developed through my years as an undergraduate there. Because I was not planning to write this paper while I was a student, I am working from my memories in a much less systematic way than I would if I were an outsider approaching this topic or if I were conscious of gathering evidence during my time at St. John’s. I also know that my relationship to music and to Sicut Sing at St. John’s was not typical of other Johnnies’ experiences. While I think this perhaps makes me uniquely qualified to study this tradition, it also primes me to find, or want to find, positive value in Sicut Sing. To temper this bias, I reached out in the private Class of 2017 Facebook group to recruit volunteers I could interview about what Sicut Sing meant to them. I developed a list of prepared questions and was able to conduct four interviews. While I recognize that this is a small group, I was still pleasantly surprised to learn that my interviewees’ observations and opinions about the meaning of Sicut Sing lined up with my own. With more time, I would have liked to reach out to more people both within and outside my graduating class to gain a more varied and nuanced set of responses. As it stands, my paper presents only some of many possible ethnographic facts. SpaceÊandÊPlace,ÊSacredÊandÊProfane The physical setting of Sicut Sing is a noteworthy part of the tradition, and it is one that my 4 January 25, 2024 interviewees described as indispensable (Anonymous 2020). Sicut Sing takes place on the first-floor landing of the Pendulum Pit, a wide, multi-level staircase in Mellon Hall, one of the two academic buildings on campus. Its name comes from the Foucault Pendulum hanging from the ceiling and extending to a large hole in the floor of the basement landing. One wall is entirely made of frosted windows, allowing softened sunlight to stream in. The physical glow and superb acoustics are reminiscent of a cathedral where Sicut cervus might more traditionally be sung. One interviewee described the atmosphere as “ethereal” (Anonymous 2020), and others commented on the similarities between the Pendulum Pit and a church. There is more to just the physical resemblance to a religious building, however. I posit that through the ritual of Sicut Sing, its participants actively create a sacred space. In distinguishing space from place, Michel de Certeau writes: A place (lieu) is the order (of whatever kind) in accord with which elements are distributed in relationships of coexistence. … A place is thus an instantaneous configuration of positions. It implies an indication of stability. A space exists when one takes into consideration vectors of direction, velocities, and time variables. It is in a sense actuated by the ensemble of movements deployed within it. On this view, in relation to place, space is like the word when it is spoken, that is, when it is caught in the ambiguity of an actualization, transformed into a term dependent upon many different conventions, situated as the act of a present (or of a time), and modified by the transformations caused by successive contexts. … In short, space is a practiced place. (Certeau 1984, 118)5 This is a fitting description of the special atmosphere Sicut Sing creates. Without the tradition, the Pendulum Pit is a stairwell, a place on a map of Mellon Hall that contains the pendulum and offers access to other parts of the building. It is stable, fixed. When students gather for Sicut Sing, they transform it into a space, a thing contingent on movement, experience, and intention. Like an Different degrees of insider status in ethnography are possible, but not many ethnographers actively study their own communities. See Henry Kingsbury’s Music, Talent, and Performance: A Conservatory Cultural System for a discussion of this and an example of someone investigating a setting with which he is familiar (Kingsbury 1998). 5 All emphases in the quotations cited in this paper are original to the text. 12 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY inanimate object (a “place”) given a particular role by “a determination through operations which … specify ‘spaces’ by the actions of historical subjects” (Certeau 1984, 118), it comes to life as a space fulfilling a certain purpose. In this view, though, Johnnies could transform any place into a space by singing Sicut cervus there. What about the Pendulum Pit bears particular significance? Through Sicut Sing, the Pendulum Pit serves to separate the sacred from the profane. As mentioned above, the physical place itself is similar in architecture to cathedrals and temples. Anyone familiar with religious places might ascribe to the Pendulum Pit a reverence fitting for the text of Sicut cervus. According to interviews with ensemble directors such as Peter Phillips of The Tallis Scholars and Harry Christophers of The Sixteen in Jonathan Arnold’s investigation of the roles of sacred music in secular settings, singing in a venue designed for their sacred repertory is part of the magic (Arnold 2013, 67 -75). But the Pendulum Pit was not created for singing Renaissance polyphony. Rather, its architecture lends itself to the transformation of the Pendulum Pit as a place to a space for singing, a space for ritual. A Man on the Stairs near the Pendulum Pit January 25, 2024 The peculiarity of the Pendulum Pit as a space has several resonances with what Mircea Eliade would describe as sacred. For Eliade, the “first possible definition of the sacred is that it is the opposite of the profane” (Eliade 1959, 10). Through the process of hierophany, the sacred reveals itself in “the manifestation of something of a wholly different order, a reality that does not belong to our world, in objects that are an integral part of our natural ‘profane’ world” (Eliade 1959, 11). A sacred space can reveal itself to religious man in a number of ways, and it demarcates qualitative differences in a nonhomogenized space allowing him to orient himself around a center. A cosmic pillar (axis mundi) stands at this center representing communication with the heavens, and the break in the homogeneity of space is “symbolized by an opening by which passage from one cosmic region to another is made possible” (Eliade 1959, 37). In addition to the creation of a cosmos through the axis mundi, the transformation of space can occur by “repeating, through a ritual of construction, the paradigmatic acts of the gods” (Eliade 1959, 52). Through these ritual acts of creation, man expresses his desire to be close to the gods, who enacted the first separation of space in its primordial form. The space and ritual of Sicut Sing are startlingly evocative of Eliade’s formulation. A fundamental feature of the Pendulum Pit is the pendulum itself. There is a literal compass etched into the marble of the floor where one can observe the direction of the pendulum’s swing, and the thin cable from which the ball hangs extends from the ceiling of the fourth floor to the basement. Though not in the geometrical center, it positions itself as a metaphorical center of campus, of the world. It is, in a sense, an axis mundi. That the Pendulum Pit is a stairwell is also important. Like the threshold of a temple or the towering column of a cathedral, it is a liminal space, a passageway between places on different planes. Through the ritual of turning the Pendulum Pit from a place into a space via Sicut Sing, its participants situate themselves “at the very source of absolute reality” (Eliade 1959, 65) and experience the act of creation. This creation is twofold here; not only do participants create by differentiating the sacred from the profane through space, but they also create through song. It is an aural consecration that brings Sicut cervus to life, separating it from other sounds or silences through our perception of it as a designated musical event. 13 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY Religion,ÊCommunity,ÊandÊCollectiveÊ Effervescence The act of Sicut Sing also invokes an experience of the sacred through its resemblance to the collective effervescence of religious ritual. As I discuss in this section, the text and music of Sicut cervus represent individuals merging with each other and transcending the limits of their own subjectivities. This piece is a symbol of the ritual act itself in which collective effervescence, according to Émile Durkheim, occurs and fixes itself around that symbol. Ephemeral in nature, the ritual requires periodic repetition so that the deep experience of community can balance the alienation of life in daily social structures. At St. John’s, this alienation can be surprisingly but deeply felt, and Sicut Sing serves to offset it through its weekly occurrence. The text of Sicut cervus, taken from Psalm 42 of the Old Testament, has overt religious connotations: “As the hart longs for running streams, so my soul longs for you, O God” (Ps 42: 1). Students are provided with this translation on the score they use in Freshman Chorus and Sophomore Music, and they also encounter it in Sophomore Seminar when they discuss the Bible. Many of them are not Christian, so singing the text does not have special personal meaning for them in a traditional religious sense. This does not mean that they do not get anything out of the lyrics. One of my classmates who does not have a Christian background commented on his interpretation of the text, saying that he values the kind of “spiritual substance” (Anonymous 2020) it provides by representing the “positive good we can do by coming together as a community” (Anonymous 2020). He connected this with the broader goal of the St. John’s Program, which, as described above, values community spirit and collective contemplation of what it means to be human and to live a good life, whatever “good” may mean. The music also symbolizes the act of communal unity. Typical of Palestrina’s style, Sicut cervus opens 14 January 25, 2024 with a point of imitation that each voice part takes up in succession until the full texture takes shape. We are pulled in and wrapped up by this unfolding, becoming immersed in warm consonances, tugging but controlled dissonances, and perpetual motion of overlapping lines. At times, the voices arrive together on certain words, creating a rich, powerful sonority. During Sicut Sing, these moments usually elicit natural crescendos accompanied by smiles and shared glances between singers. At the end of the piece, the voices back off one by one, landing on a final consonance before eventually dissolving into silence. In their interviews, my classmates all commented on the equality between the voices. There is no one melody, but instead successive motives that different voices carry at different times as if reacting to one another. The piece does not work without all the parts, and participants in Sicut Sing can feel a sense of personal responsibility to make sure their part is heard. At the same time, they also like hearing the voices “connect” (Anonymous 2020) and mix together in the fabric of the piece and the resonance of the Pendulum Pit. This idea of coming together for a common goal is represented in writings on religious ritual. As quoted by Tim Olaveson, who links Émile Durkheim’s “collective effervescence” to Victor Turner’s “communitas,” Durkheim describes the result or experience of ritual in religious life as collective effervescence: The very act of congregating is an exceptionally powerful stimulant. Once the individuals are gathered together, a sort of electricity is generated from their closeness and quickly launches them to an extraordinary height of exaltation. Every emotion expressed resonates without interference in the consciousnesses that are wide open to external impressions, each one echoing the others. Every communion of conscience … must possess a degree of unity, of intimacy, and the forces which it releases must �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY be sufficiently intense to take the individual outside himself and to raise him to a superior life. Also, the sentiments so roused must be fixed on an object or concrete objects which symbolize them. (Olaveson 2001, 99-101) This communion is ephemeral and must be repeated (“re-creative effervescence” (Olaveson 2001, 102)) for its participants to “become aware of and revivify their common bonds” (Olaveson 2001, 102). Both Durkheim and Turner posit this phenomenon as the opposite of daily social structure, which is “in its intrinsic nature alienating. The experience of collective effervescence/communitas is a fundamental human need which acts to counterbalance this alienation” (Olaveson 2001, 107). Multiple interviewees noted that, despite its focus on community, there is something about life in the Johnnie Bubble that can be extremely isolating January 25, 2024 (Anonymous 2020). We are constantly going through the motions of daily life while simultaneously reflecting on our experiences, our place in the world, our being. Even though we are all working from the same texts, we still feel lonely in our individual subjectivities. For the classmates I interviewed, Sicut Sing offered them comfort and a sense of belonging that combatted even the darkest feelings of alienation. In accordance with Durkheim’s notion, participants at Sicut Sing fix themselves upon Sicut cervus, which textually and musically symbolizes the essence of the ritual activity. Although Durkheim’s descriptions of how this manifests in culture point to more intense and exhausting ritualistic experiences than Sicut Sing, the basic principles of transcending oneself, merging with the collective, focusing on a symbolic object, and balancing the structures of everyday life do reflect the sentiments expressed by my interviewees. Students Taking Refuge from a Storm and Singing Christmas Carols, Circa 1960 15 �THE GADFLY Πόλις Be the Problem Child By B.S. Be the Problem Child ‘Cowards are easier to love, Though they deserve it not.’ —Me. My friends, Returning home for winter break, I was able to reminisce in my childhood home with my mother and sister. I looked back with fondness on my youth, those days when I was so much happier and life was so much simpler. Then I grew up and took off the fucking glasses and looked at it straight. Here’s the truth: I was the problem child. My childhood best friend’s first memory of me was when I walked into my new elementary school and promptly got my finger stuck in the door, screaming at near weaponizable ranges. My parents could hear me “playing” several houses down the street. I wasn’t allowed into the advanced math class because I was “too loud” (I may proudly claim to be the only student I know of from Rich Kid Elementary who was both Gifted and Talented and Special Needs and thus the most expensive on record). When, I saw a problem, I chose neither fight nor flight but FUCKING YELL. In atonement for my sins, I have spent much of my young adult life trying to speak more softly and kindly (with variable success). I try to not talk over people in class, try to ask questions, try to be a good, respectable little introvert. That’s who I was when I spent the week before Christmas with my sister and all her millennial friends. They were all incredibly kind and considerate. They respected my choices and preferences before I even knew I had them. I went along with it, trying to be just as aware of other people. And you know what I realized? It was all bullshit. I am the problem child down to my very fucking core. I love attention for making a joke in front of the whole class (about how during one seminar only three people should read the book and the tutors’ job is to figure out who did and didn’t), attention for terrorizing drunk people with questions (if we were to name a challenge after you, what 16 January 25, 2024 would it be?), attention from all the people trying to not laugh through their scowls (Mr. BS is interrupting the senior class meeting by taking control of the TV, that’s very bad, very bad, but god damn it he’s making jokes), attention, attention, I love attention! Of course I’m playing a character! Of course I’m not “really like this”! Miss be with that millennial sincerity, being-true-to-yourself, honesty bullshit. You’re gonna die one day and so am I, but I’m not gonna die in the way you do (boring, lame). Why? Because I fuck shit up. And you know what? You can too! Go take your white picket fence and burn that bitch to the ground, pull pranks of real scale, be the problem child. I’m already hearing excuses: “but what if I hurt someone? what if I get in trouble? what if I can’t think of anything?” Yeah, and what if you die like this, afraid and unrealized? If you make a truly great bit (which, if you can’t think of one, can be conceived of by sitting all your friends in a room and riffing at various levels of sobriety for an hour) it won’t involve hurting anyone (except yourself) and will be so god damned good that either the people who would get you in trouble have to shrug and laugh or, better yet, the punishment will become an essential part of the story. These are the best/worst years of your life and you can either let them fade into obscurity’s cold night or you can be the bad bitch you were born to be. I expect you’ll do the right thing (and tell me about it!). And don’t you worry, I’m putting my madness where my mouth is (you’ll see <3). Yours untruly, B.S., the Sinfluencer Students Marching on Maryland Avenue �Πόλις THE GADFLY January 25, 2024 On the Greenfield Library’s “Quiet Zone” By Molly Sprout On Monday, January 8th, The Greenfield Library designated the basement to be a “Quiet Zone.” In an Instagram post made on the same day, they suggested to students who would like to work collaboratively or have a “friendly chat” with others to reserve the second floor Cohen Study Room. Staff and student workers have been directed to “recommend other spaces on campus for people who want to socialize or who need to work together more collaboratively.” While a seemingly harmless new rule, it is a stark change from how the library has been run in the past. Is this truly a mundane new policy? Or is it a sinister coverup for tyranny? The Greenfield Library has had no strict enforcement of a noise policy in the past, and has mostly relied on specific staff members, namely the higher ups, to give warnings to people who are making too much noise. This has left the library with, for the most part, an honor code-based noise policy. And how has that worked out? One would assume, with such a rule put in place, that the honor code has been a failure. The law ought not be created but out of necessity, so was the necessity there? As someone who is in the library at night when no non-student staff are working, I saw for myself. And surprise surprise! Aside from the occasional racket, the library has always been a quiet place to work, even without the leering eyes of the quiet police or without the word of the law. Nor have there been consistent complaints from patrons at the library. So, with no real prompting of this rule, why has it been instated? Here I am reminded of Tacitus and his sentiments on a heavy-handed governing body: “When the state is most corrupt, then laws are most multiplied.” (Annals, Book III, 27) What we have before us is a library, funded by our tuition, that is limiting our right to have a “friendly chat.” Our college, I will remind you, is a talking college, and we cannot even talk with our peers. What we are seeing is our freedom being ripped away from us with the help of fun fonts and Instagram posts. What we are are lobsters being put into a cold pot that is slowly heating up to our deaths. What’s next after this? No speaking at all? After that, cameras in the bathroom probably. And then they will start banning books. They always end up banning books. We are prompted as a student body to stand up to this. We must revolt. Talk louder! Yell! Start blasting TikTok on your phone! Anything but let tyranny roll right over you and the college you have given your life to. 17 �Πόλις THE GADFLY January 25, 2024 A Junior's Plea from the St. John's College Yearbook; From the SJC Digital Archives 18 �Πόλις THE GADFLY January 25, 2024 A Reflection on Winter Break By Vivian Miyakawa The moment I opened my front door and saw my dog jumping up to greet me, I knew I was in far too deep to quit. All I could think about was Erwin Straus and his essay on “The Upright Posture” and the way I would never be as connected to the ground as my dog is. Running on his four-footed posture, he is a horizontal axis to the earth. When I took a stroll around my hometown of Seattle, I recognized the faces of my classmates in every stranger that passed me by. I marveled at the lack of navy colored peacoats and the air felt strangely fresh and devoid of cigarette smoke. I giggled uncontrollably as my best friend raved about joining a sorority, and I told her the same stupid joke every Johnnie makes about “our kind of Greek Life.” Over the holidays, I devoted a good chunk of time to explaining the curriculum to curious relatives, and reminding my parents that yes, every grade is reading the same books, and no, I’m not throwing my future away with a liberal arts degree. I know everyone’s experience is different, but there is a certain unity that comes with being so deeply entrenched in such a unique form of study. You never really realize that you’re living in a bubble until it pops. Finally, it’s time to return. Suitcase weighed down with Mollin and Williamson, a fragment of Plato’s “Euthyphro” to clumsily translate on the plane… it’s surprisingly easy to feel so deeply changed in so little time. Eighteen years of my life weighed against one semester at college, and it’s the latter which feels more like home to me. Students Participate in a Snowball Fight near Randall Hall during a Snow-Storm, February 1979 19 �Πόλις THE GADFLY Front Campus with Cannon in Foreground SJC Mystery #6: Trapped By Benne Sco Where does a man flee to when all doors are open to him save for the one that leads homeward? Does he stay, pounding at the entrance to the familiar, demanding in, in, in please just let me in? Or does he venture out into the dark, willing to live and die in the unfamiliar halls, trying to make a home of what will not accept him? And who the fuck has a third option? Would really appreciate any suggestions. I fear that things have gotten out of hand recently. For those of you who are new here: Hi! Hello! (he shouts into the void) I’m being chased by a demon/specter/monster (but only slowly. Man kinda just walks) in the empty abyss of this town. I call them The Friend. Now, I may be a liar, but I figure this is not the ideal moment to withhold: I’ve spent my days wandering these empty streets (winter is here; I used to love it so, but it is not cold, even when snow falls. It is a burning winter) checking door after door. I thought, last time, that all the doors were open. I can get into basements, backdoors, all this. But some are locked: churches, random dorms, many of my friends’ houses, places I know aren’t normally locked. I’m too tired to figure out patterns. The doors in my house are the real problem: for The Friend, they’re always unlocked. Most of the time they’re unlocked for me too, but sometimes I can’t open them, stuck in- or outside. I try to keep 20 January 25, 2024 track of the hours when they’ll be locked, but there is no pattern (unless you count the worst possible moment as a pattern). My room only gets hotter with each passing day. The windows have never worked. I don’t like using the AC (it’s too loud). I’ve taken to sleeping with a knife. At first, for some goddamn reason, I decided to keep it under my pillow (I woke up bleeding but confirmed in my suspicion that I only sleep on my left side). Now it’s next to my bed. The Friend’s orbit seems to be getting tighter and tighter. That time I tried to drive away, I was a few miles away before he started showing up. Now I can’t go any further than a mile radius around the stone. Or is it a mile radius around the yellow house? I can’t tell. I’d rather not be outside in the unending dark when I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to get back into my own house when I come back. So it’s me and my knife inside for days on end. What do you do with this much time? I have about a thousand books to choose from at the wonderful St. John’s College library, but for some reason the walls of old books on “Comparative Racial Psychology” and German history up to 1939 just don’t appeal to me. I end up reading the same things over and over: Calvin, Milton, Dante. So damn much Dante. As if I’m trapped in a demon inhabited alternate reality because I don’t know my theological fanfiction well enough. I wasn’t even raised in any sort of faith. My mother is a generation off of anything like real Christianity and my father leaned mystic-scientific, a fun way of saying: he believed one thing systematically and its opposite when it felt right. Not to place any blame on them, but I feel like it would be nice to know a couple of words of Latin at this point. Would make all my exorcism attempts sound a lot more legitimate. Instead I am left with old doctors of the church, making up my own fun little theology which would get me burnt at some stake somewhere some time long ago. There are no burnings here at least. I don’t know if I’m hearing things (my own heartbeat has been getting to me recently, the way it sounds like footsteps, faster and faster), but I swear something is coming. I’ll try and record it. Maybe it’s time. �Πόλις THE GADFLY January 25, 2024 The Cupola of McDowell Hall in Snow, circa 1980; From the SJC Digital Archives 21 �Πόλις THE GADFLY January 25, 2024 Photography Highlight: Winter & Writing By Abigail Poppleton As the first snow of the year falls, students get to work while staying cozy inside. Top: Senior Writing Lounge Middle: Ms. Ceci & Mr. Rosenberg hard at work in the Fishbowl Bo om: Mr. Selway jammin’ and writing in the FSK Lobby 22 �Πόλις THE GADFLY January 25, 2024 Seniors: Final Stretch!!! We’re almost there! We can do it! Good luck to all seniors! Burning Notes for Senior Papers in Common Room Fireplace, April 1974; From the SJC Digital Archives 23 �THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, staff, and alumni of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and thought provoking newsmagazine. Submissions sent to the Gadfly should either be in Google Docs or PDF format. For more information, contact us via email at lbriner@sjc.edu. 60 COLLEGE AVENUE ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 Photographs without a listed source are from the St. John's College Digital Archives. St. John's College owns the rights to these photographs. Illustrations without a listed source are by Takashi Mifune from Irasutoya.com and are free to use for non-commercial purposes. All rights to these illustrations still belong to the artist. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 24 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XLV, Issue 6 Description An account of the resource Volume XLI, Issue 6 of The Gadfly. Published January 25, 2024. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Briner, Luke (Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2024-01-25 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource College students' writings--Periodicals College student newspapers and periodicals St. John's College--Periodicals Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly Vol XLV Issue 6 Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/81e4296ae99ee5f7c46b557afe30cd4d.pdf 450f620cf0a9bb989bed25feb662a8f2 PDF Text Text THE St. John’s College Annapolis, Maryland GADFLY Onwards & Upwards! February 15, 2024 Vol. XLV, Issue 7 �Letter from the Editor CONTENTS Λόγος : news reports & narratives regarding immediate campus life Dear Polity, A Thank You Message From Mr. Kerimov 2 The Senior Infection by Vivian Miyakawa 3 Want to Join a Cult? Come to Tea Club! By Vivian Miyakawa 4 Συμπόσιον : contrasting opinions on various topics for thought Puns in Twelfth Night By Mary Elizabeth Harper 5 Insider Ethnography: An Alumna’s Exploration of a College Tradition (Part Two) By Maura Sugg 8 Πόλις : voices of the community, including poetry, cartoons, etc. Fifty Shades of Modern, Monotonous, Mind-Numbing 13 Gray By Tamar Pinsky Comics: Noodles By Tamar Pinsky 16 Censor, Oh Censor! By B.S. 17 half gone By Natalie Goldman 18 Translation of the First Seven Stanzas of Valéry’s “Le cimetière marin” By Luke Briner 20 A Thank You Message From Mr. Kerimov Dear Polity, I am deeply grateful for the overwhelming support and encouragement I received from so many of you in the past few weeks. With all that has happened, I feel proud to belong to our caring, strong, and energetic Polity. May it always be such. To paraphrase a friend: although I never had to leave, it feels wonderful to return. With admiration, Khafiz Kerimov 2 We at the Gadfly hope that you’ve been having a wonderful semester so far! We’d also especially like to congratulate our seniors for finally submitting their essays, and for all the hard work that went into them. Please enjoy this year’s seventh issue! Luke Briner, Editor-in-chief THE GADFLY STAFF COVER EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR STAFF Abigail Poppleton Luke Briner El’ad NicholsKaufman Meliha Anthony Vivian Miyakawa Tamar Pinsky Louis Rosenberg Benne Sco YOUT Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm KC Taylor CONTRIBUTORS Natalie Goldman Mary Elizabeth Halper Maura Sugg �Λόγος THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 The Senior Infection By Vivian Miyakawa Something strange is happening to the seniors. They’ve become pale, listless shells of their former selves, only seen shuffling from the writing lounge to the fishbowl. The crescents of purple shadow under their eyes grow darker and darker every day. They don’t seem to sleep. I worry that this strange phenomenon is slowly consuming their lives. My friend and I witnessed it firsthand as we were wandering around Mellon at 1 a.m. Giggling our way down the hallways, we were walking and talking about nothing important, when suddenly, two seniors popped their heads out of room 143. Like errant messengers from the Fey-Wild, they grinned and offered us snacks from their kingdom of riches. We knew better than to accept. To set foot in the twisted domain of the seniors would certainly spell our doom. At this stage, who knew if the disease was infectious or not? All I know is that I would hate to contract it. It’s been weeks, and the seniors still wander around, mumbling about Archimedes and Proust and biblical symbols. I think some of them have taken up permanent residence in the fishbowl, setting up shrines to any possible deity that would listen to their desperate pleas. An orange beanie rests upon a lamp. It has been there for a week now. Is it an offering? A sacrifice? Or could it be something more sinister, perhaps a tribute to a fallen comrade? Either way, I’m not sure if I want to know. It's the day before their essays are due. Stress and relief both hang heavy over St. John’s College, a creeping fog composed of pride and desperation. A fellow freshman walks by; she works for Ms. Munsey. She’s been inside the belly of the beast, restocking snacks and washing blankets. She tells me that the blankets disappear as fast as the snacks do. Less than half of the blankets remain. The seniors must be ravenous. Tonight, they will ring the bell and finally free themselves of this terrible burden. They have completed their duties and remained loyal to the college. They will graduate soon, and forget about this apocalyptic month. But the underclassmen…we will remember. As we congratulate our friends on finishing their essays, one thought runs through our minds and makes us shiver. Oh god. One day, this will be us. Class of 2024 Seniors Celebrating A er Turning in Essays and Ringing the Bell (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) 3 �Λόγος THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 Want to Join a Cult? Come to Tea Club! By Vivian Miyakawa Every Wednesday from 5-6 p.m., students of all sorts rush up the stairs to McDowell 22, eagerly following the warm scent of honey and spices mixed with the gentle notes of soft jazz instrumentals. Once inside, they are greeted with a cup of tea and a hearty welcome from club Archon, the lovely Christina Cruz. Taking on the responsibilities of archon even as a freshman, Ms. Cruz runs Tea Club with passion and care, connecting the physical with the spiritual. At every meeting, Ms. Cruz presents the club with a new type of tea. With options from Chai, to Blackberry Sage, to an Earl-Grey lavender London Fog, there are so many varieties to explore, and new tastes for everyone to discover. Anyone with doubts about the beauty and magic of tea simply needs to attend a meeting of Tea Club and experience it firsthand. Friends from all years and backgrounds sit together at the wooden table, sipping hot tea and basking in warm light. The community that Ms. Cruz has succeeded in creating, however, is the most incredible thing. Freshmen, sophomores, juniors, seniors, and even a GI student laugh together like old friends, chatting about anything from the Program to the latest gossip on campus. Ms. Cruz’s vision for the club was to unite the Polity through the ancient healing art of tea, and looking upon the community she has built, she is 100% certain that Tea Club is living up to that vision. Tea Club is nothing if not cozy, but part of what makes this club so unique is the sheer hilarity of each meeting. Ms. Cruz’s alter ego, aptly named Chris-TEA-na, only semi-denies the frequent allegations of being a cult leader. When pressed about the issue, she simply states that “the tea is so good—everyone wants to follow in the way of the tea.” In further claims to innocence, when asked about the purification rituals, our wonderful archon 4 claims that “if a person needs to be purified, well, then they need to be purified! Why not use Tea club as a way to purify?” This logic is hard to argue with, especially with the cheerful addendum of, “We also do exorcisms!” Luckily, unlike most mainstream cults, you don’t have to be a committed member. There is no obligation to show up to every meeting, but if you ever need a moment of your day to sit down, relax, and just be, know that Tea Club is waiting for you with a cup of tea, and perhaps a few shenanigans as well. Zenith Brown Seated outside Having Tea and Pe ing her Dog Lauralei �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY Puns in Twel h Night By Mary Elizabeth Halper What follows is a section from an essay titled, “Cross -dressing, Puns, and the Playful Cosmos: The Role of Comedy in Liberal Education,” co-written by Mr. Aaron Halper and Ms. Mary Elizabeth Halper, expected to published in an edited volume on liberal education. The excerpted section is on puns, written by Ms. Halper. The very first pun in Twelfth Night is perhaps "play.” It comes in the final foot—a spondee—of the first line: "If music be the food of love play on." We hear both a call to keep playing music and to start playing the play. To hear both of these at once suggests that the play itself, Twelfth Night, is ongoing. Indeed, the play begins not at a natural beginning, but in the middle of some unfolding circumstance. Our first sight of Orsino recalls his ongoing and unsuccessful courtship of Olivia. The other so-called beginning, our first sight of the siblings Viola and Sebastian, is also in medias res—we find them first in the storm that sunders them. With the spondaic “play on” we are abruptly plunged into an action that stretches out behind us as well as before us. Perhaps, then, we are also as bewildered as Orsino and Viola at the start. Another pun falls hard upon the heels of the first: "Will you go hunt my Lord?" "What Curio?" "The hart." The pun is obvious: hart and heart. The catching of hearts is of course much of the action of the play. At least so far, Duke Orsino desires to capture the heart of Olivia, and this desire makes of him a hart: "That instant I was turned into a hart and my desires like fell and cruel hounds/E'er since pursues me." Orsino now is all hart/heart. By his own heart, he is the February 15, 2024 hunter of another's heart and by the desires for that heart, he is the hunted. This first pun—“play”—is both phonically and graphically identical. It sounds the same and is written the same, but it provokes a multiplicity of meaning. The next pun—“hart” and “heart”— possesses only phonic and not graphic identity. The picture of the word is different—we write them with different letters—but the sound to which the different composition of letters corresponds is the same. In the latter case, it is clearer to the eyes that there are two words at work. But to the ears, both cases offer the possibility of two words. This same sound is the matter of the words. It is a single bearer of many meanings, or a sole body with two souls. It may seem, then, that puns work by multiplication—layering a second meaning atop the first. On this view, puns would be a case of semantic polyphony arising from sonic monophony. Shakespeare scholar Sigurd Burckhardt gives a contrary analysis of puns in his essay “The Poet As Fool and Priest.” Rather than claiming that the pun imbues a word with more meanings, Burckhardt takes puns to be a “way of divesting a word of its meaning.” The poet uses puns to forcibly reclaim the medium of words from ordinary language so that he might make of words what his poetic art demands. With puns the poet creates “a semantic identity between words whose phonic identity is, for ordinary language, the merest coincidence.” But insofar as this creative act makes intentional what is otherwise coincidental, it is also a violent act: it shatters the intimate and exclusive bond between word and meaning, between signifier and signified. The poet creates his singular meaning by splitting into two what by all other accounts is one word. We have two analyses of puns on offer: puns are two words in one sound, or puns are one sense in two words. Without attempting to offer a final word on the matter, let me propose a higher reconciliation of these contrary analyses. While the pun may be a disruption of the bond of word and meaning, it is no simple destruction. The pun breaks up the nice, direct correspondence of word and meaning in order to make greater space for a greater meaning. By wrenching the word from its familiar meaning, puns wrench us from our familiar, unreflective use of them. We are able to mean more, not by meaning two coincidental intentions at once, but precisely by intending their coincidence. With puns, we have a single sense in a single sound but we come to that 5 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 Shakespeare in the Park production of Twel h Night (Source: Shakespeare in the Park, 2009) possession by breaking the simple correspondence between sign and signified. In arresting our ordinary wielding of words, puns afford us greater sense; in interrupting the prosaic work of words, they provide a more encompassing continuity. And in these ways, puns are like feast days. Whether it be a day of rest that sanctifies one’s labor, or a festival of birth celebrated by a remembrance of crucifixion, death, and resurrection, feast days have a similar strangeness that puns do. Feasts are breaks in ordinary time. They are times when we set aside our daily bread for sublime—even divine—delectation. In our festival times, we perhaps anticipate a more lasting—even eternal—joy. But we do so only for a day or a brief season. The day is sacred by being set apart; it is holy by being a whole in itself, at least while it is going 6 on. Because of its separation from the surrounding time, feast days may seem like forgetting, like a willful neglect of that to which we must return. But better understood, feast days are days for remembering–for recalling what is our true, though not continual, calling. We do not forget that we are subject to pain or bound to labor, but we celebrate that it is not always to be so. This foretaste of heaven is not a forgetting of our moral toil, but a remembering of that condition too. It is not always to be so that we fear death and sin, but it is so in the larger now. To borrow from the Archbishop in T. S. Eliot’s Murder in the Cathedral, feast days are days in which we “both rejoice and mourn at once and for the same reason.” The whole of our human condition, of being that being betwixt and between, is intended and is most intense in a day of feasting. �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY Puns are likewise: the whole of an intention— bursting in between the words of its expression—is concentrated in a single utterance. It is fitting then that in Twelfth Night (a title which recalls us to the conclusion of Christmastide), Feste is the one who puns par excellence. As the persona of puns in their festival function, Feste is hardly better than in Act IV, Scene 2, when he adopts the cover of a curate. In the person of a Master Parson, Feste may be said to be engaging in a kind of cross-dressing—if, that is, a priest and a fool are indeed contraries. Under this guise, the fool/ priest relates: "...for, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc, 'That that is is;' so I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson; for, what is 'that' but 'that,' and 'is' but 'is'?" On the page "that that is is" looks like a scribal error: a duplication of “that” and a duplication of “is.” But for the hermit that never saw pen and ink, and therefore for whom the written doubling is no difficulty, it is sensical even if trivial. The voice makes this sense by making it audible. Tones and inflection matter to the matter of the word. More meets the ear than meets the eye. In order to make sense, the words must go beyond their signification; they must be animated—reanimated, perhaps—with the spirit of the speaker. Here, Feste, who may be feigning a foolishness just as much as he is simulating a sacred office—or who may be true in both—practices the same poetic power that produces puns. When puns are possible, the trivial question "What is 'that' but 'that' and 'is' but 'is'?" is a question that becomes pressing. This is not the only time Feste provides a hint to the being of puns. In addition to making his fair share of them the fool offers a kind of account or perhaps an apology for this wily device. At the beginning of Act III after an exchange of puns, Feste exclaims: "A sentence is but a cheveril glove to a good wit: how quickly the wrong side may be turned outward!" Viola takes this as proof that: "they that dally nicely with words may quickly make them wanton." Viola seems to take this possibility of words—that they may dallied with—to be a sign of a peculiar failure, a per se fault: words are themselves wanton, or may become so by our misuse. The fool reveals the heart of Viola’s concern even as he discounts its consequence: "I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir. Her name's a word; and to dally with February 15, 2024 that word might make my sister wanton." Viola’s worry is that if a word is not just what it means, then there is a risk that it may mean anything. Feste’s counter is that if words are just what they mean, then they can mean only what they already say. Feste does not deny the risk of wanton chaos, but his response suggests that to resist this risk by making inviolable the bond between sign and significance is to forsake not only the capacity to make a more comprehensive sense but also to deny the world itself as a source of meaning. Feste concludes: "Words are very rascals since bonds disgraced them." Words are in their being very rascals; to bind them, to insist that they have only and exactly one meaning is to disgrace them, to deny ourselves the grace they give so that we may mean as much as the world offers. Actor Louis H. Chrispijn as Feste, ca. 1899 (Source: Wikimedia Commons) 7 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 Insider Ethnography: An Alumna’s Exploration of a College Tradition (Part Two) By Maura Sugg EDITOR’S NOTE. The following is the second and concluding part of an essay graciously submitted to the Gadfly by Ms. Maura Sugg (A17). The previous Part can be found in our previous issue (XLV.6). -LB Affect Theory and Musical/Religious Experience We have seen at this point how various aspects of Sicut Sing participate in the experience of sacred ritual. The space of the Pendulum Pit, the weekly repetition of the event, the connotations of the text and musical texture, and the communal nature of the tradition all set Sicut Sing apart as a meaningful, orienting activity. But what more might we say about the experience of singing the music that contributes to a feeling like Durkheim’s collective effervescence? As I will describe, a musical experience resembles a religious one, and affect plays a key role in making that happen. What emerges from this investigation is that music is affective, existing in a sort of “inbetweenness: in the capacities to act and be acted upon” (Thompson and Biddle 2013, 6). Through music, we are keenly aware of our affective potentiality, which exists in the relation of our individual subjective parts to each other and to the collective whole. Because of the informal, variable, and ritualistic aspects of Sicut Sing, the tradition enables its participants to experience and witness themselves experiencing this affectivity in an especially strong way. This can allow, however momentarily, for the healing and collective freedom from reality akin to the effects of religious experience. As a domain of scholarship, affect theory highlights the “interest in the relationship between bodies…and the fluctuations of feeling that shape the experiential in ways that may impact upon but nevertheless evade conscious knowing” (Thomspon and Biddle 2013, 6). Affect itself is elusive, Michael Engstrom Leads Johnnies in Sicut Sing on February 14, 2024 (Picture by KC Taylor) 8 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY occupying spaces in between individual and collective, thought and feeling, perception and reaction, sensation and abstraction, object and subject. We experience it even when we cannot name it. Music seems to heighten our awareness of affect, or of being affected. Synthesizing the theories of Susanne Langer and Brian Massumi, eldritch Priest presents provocative formulations of how music and affect work together that are especially applicable to Sicut Sing. As Priest explains, Langer asserts: The human organism not only possesses a capability to abstract a qualitative-relational value from sensory particulars but develops a capacity to live in and through these abstractions that are expressive of an ‘import’ which doubles sensations with a ‘likeness’— semblance—‘entirely congruent with forms of mentality and vital experiences.’…The abstractions in which we feel significance, quality, or value, are a phase of organic processes in which vital activities cross a threshold of complexity and intensity to be felt as thought, felt abstractly. (Priest 2013, 45 -46) The arts, and music in particular, play an important role in making this process happen because they take the form of semblances that open us to the speculative dimension of abstractions felt as thought. “What the arts speculate on,” Priest says, is “what it feels like to feel oneself affecting and being affected by and as an occasion of experience” (Priest 2013, 46). Imagination is always at play, since music’s semblance both makes us feel and “gives logical expression to forms of feeling…of what it is like to feel feelings” (Priest 2013, 51). Because of this, we become aware as listeners or performers of the potentiality of our affectivity, of “how a world may be felt” (Priest 2013, 56). Again in the words of Langer: Its [the semblance’s] message…is not an immutable abstraction, a bare unambiguous, fixed concept, as a lesson in the higher mathematics of feeling should be. [The semblance] is always new, no matter how well or how long we have known it, or it loses its meaning; it is not transparent but iridescent. Its values crowd each other, its symbols are inexhaustible. (Priest 2013, 56) Like the collective effervescence of religious ritual, there is an element here of renewal. We can experience music, the same music, again and again, February 15, 2024 and yet the experience is always new and always gives something to us. This again invokes Eliade, who describes sacred time as “indefinitely recoverable, indefinitely repeatable” (Eliade 1959: 69). It is the form of the experience that produces this effect. In this sense, Sicut Sing is similar to John Cage’s “4’33,” which Priest describes as “an occasion of listening, but more generally an occasion to experience” (Priest 2013, 62) because it fixes our attention on the idea of listening. Sicut Sing is also an occasion to experience. Although the music is important and amplifies the sense of transcending oneself and joining with the collective, it is the event as a whole that is meaningful because it gives us the chance to contemplate our affectivity. In a polity so concerned with the relationship between the part and the whole, Sicut Sing is at once an opportunity to recognize one’s own subjectivity and its affectivity, and to see oneself caught up in the collective. Because of the conversational nature of St. John’s, students are always acting out a sort of affective discourse, but there are so many other factors at play that obscure their ability to reflect on it. As a designated ritual for mutually making and beholding a musical semblance, Sicut Sing provides a weekly moment to feel as thought the intense state of affectivity that is the St. John’s experience. This offers an explanation for why the variability and imperfection of Sicut Sing are parts of its allure. When Fricke first envisioned it, he just 9 �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY wanted a way to sing the piece with some of his classmates. Eight to twelve of them would walk over to the Pendulum Pit after class and sing the piece, trying different configurations around the space or switching up who sang which parts. Even as Sicut Sing picked up steam and became a regular publicized event, it was always student-led. Though there are often regular participants, there is never an obligation to commit, nor is there a prerequisite of being a musician. For Johnnies, Freshman Chorus already levels the playing field because no matter prior experience, everyone learns to sing, even if they do not always (or ever) sound good. It fosters an acceptance of imperfection that students then bring with them to Sicut Sing. That the quality of the musical product does not seem to matter runs counter to what most musicians would say about their own performances. In their aforementioned interviews (Arnold 2013, 70-83), Peter Phillips and Harry Christophers both emphasize the quality of the performance as a crucial component of making sacred music meaningful to an audience of nonbelievers. But Sicut Sing is not a performance. Its participants are there to do just that: participate. Because the participating forces are not consistent, the balance, blend, intonation, and tempo are always different. Even if the piece falls apart one week, there is little room for discouragement because of the knowledge that the next Wednesday will soon roll around, and because of the affective experience the tradition creates no matter the musical outcome. While the times that are musically tighter might be more satisfying to the ear, their quality alone does not affect the sense of meaning that participants ascribe to the tradition. The notion that the repeatable, inexhaustible potentiality of our affectivity is revealed to us through a musical semblance also helps me make sense of my most poignant Sicut Sing memory, and I believe it accurately encapsulates the power that the tradition can wield. During my junior year, one Sicut Sing took place the day after the 2016 presidential election. We knew the results by the time we had gone to bed the night before, and the overall feeling on campus that Wednesday was one of somber disbelief. A large but dejected crowd assembled for Sicut Sing, and when we sang, we wept. The more eye contact we made with each other, the harder it was to control our tears. The experience was not necessarily cathartic in the sense of flushing out our fears, nor did it actively instill hope for a brighter 10 February 15, 2024 future. But through singing together, we were made aware of, as quoted above, “how a world may be felt.” We felt ourselves mutually inflecting each other, merging our individualities with each other in the collective, transforming a place into a space by transfusing it with purpose, and engaging in a sacredly creative act. Further, we knew that it would not be the last time we would gather for the experience, that we could enter the imaginative affective state again. All of the idiosyncrasies of Sicut Sing that I have described and analyzed throughout this essay make this possible every week, but in times of fear, isolation, and uncertainty, we feel it most strongly. It is through affect, then, that a musical experience resembles a religious one. In his analysis of William James’s Varieties of Religious Experience, Arnold connects James’s four marks of mystical experience to music (Arnold 2013, 104-106). These are ineffability, noetic quality, transiency, and passivity. The ineffable of the religious necessitates individuality of experience because it cannot be adequately described, only felt by those willing to experience it. Like the mystical, then, “the quality of the musical experience of the listener is, to some extent, determined by their openness and receptivity to the power of the music” (Arnold 2013, 104). Similarly, the noetic quality is the expression of deep truths otherwise unknowable or unexplainable, something to which Arnold claims music exposes us. Transiency, like collective effervescence, is ephemeral, short-lived, and only recapturable through repetition of the experience. Finally, passivity occurs when someone feels, in the words of James via Arnold, “as if his own will were in abeyance, and indeed sometimes as if he were grasped and held by a superior power” (Arnold 2013, 106). All four of these qualities are present in the combination of elements I have considered throughout this paper, i.e., that a musical semblance affects us and reveals our affectivity, which rouses a feeling akin to the collective effervescence of ritual in a delineated sacred space. Sicut Sing’s power is in its potential to provide us with this experience, itself an occasion to experience. Concluding Thoughts Sicut Sing needs all of its constituent parts. It needs the small, community-oriented spirit that the form and content of a St. John’s education creates. It �Συμπόσιον THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 Aerial View of Sicut Sing in the Pendulum Pit (Picture by KC Taylor) needs a piece that everyone knows with both text and texture that symbolizes the ritual itself. It needs the Pendulum Pit, a place-made-space that marks the sacred from the profane by orienting participants around a center that allows transcendence and creation. It needs the weekly repetition of a designated communal gathering to counter the alienation of daily individual subjectivity. Finally, it needs imperfection and variability to always make us aware of the potentiality of our affectivity and enable us to glimpse the world other than it is, ourselves other than we are. Only all of these elements taken together can make Sicut Sing what it is. I followed my heart in this investigation. Based on my experience at St. John’s College, I know Sicut Sing is special. It seems, from what I could tell while I was there and from my interviews, that other Johnnies agree. My goal in writing this paper was to find out why. I cannot claim that my conclusions are Truth, the one absolute meaning that Sicut Sing imparts to its participants. Perhaps some Johnnies would take issue with my invocation of the sacred as an analytical lens, or maybe they do not think that Sicut Sing is any different than other musical traditions on campus. More interviews could point to other interpretations I have not yet considered. I do, however, think that my analysis is one of many ways to make sense of Sicut Sing’s multivalent meaning. I hope, too, that it is a productive practice in doing ethnography from the inside and uncovering the hidden workings of the things we love in the communities we inhabit. 11 �THE GADFLY Συμπόσιον References Abu-Lughod, Lila. 1986. “Chapter 1: Guest and Daughter.” In Veiled Sentiments: Honor and Poetry in Bedouin Society, 1-35. Oakland: University of California Press. Anonymous. 2020. Interviews by Author. November 23, 2020. Arnold, Jonathan. 2013. Sacred Music in Secular Society. Burlington, VT: Ashgate. Certeau, Michel de. 1984. The Practice of Everyday Life. Translated by Steven F. Rendall. Berkeley and Los Angeles: University of California Press. Cooley, Timothy J. and Gregory Barz. 1996. “Introduction: Casting Shadows: Fieldwork is Dead! Long Live Fieldwork!” In Shadows in the Field 2nd Edition, edited by Gregory F. Barz and Timothy J. Cooley, 3-24. New York: Oxford University Press. Durkheim, Émile. 1915. The Elementary Forms of the Religious Life. Translated by Joseph Ward Swain. London: George Allen & Unwin. Eliade, Mircea. 1959. The Sacred and the Profane: The Nature of Religion. Translated by Willard R. Trask. New York: Harcourt, Brace & World. Feld, Steven. 1984. “Sound Structure as Social Structure.” Ethnomusicology 28, no. 3: 383-409. Geertz, Clifford. 1973. The Interpretation of Cultures. New York: Basic Books. Gill, Denise. 2017. Melancholic Modalities: Affect, Islam, and Turkish Classical Musicians. New York: Oxford University Press. Horsfall, Sara Towe, Jan-Martijn Meij, and Meghan D. Probstfield, eds. 2013. Music Sociology: Examining the Role of Music in Social Life. Boulder, CO: Paradigm Publishers. Kingsbury, Henry. 1998. Music, Talent, and Performance: A Conservatory Cultural System. Philadelphia: Temple University Press. 12 February 15, 2024 Olaveson, Tim. 2001. "Collective Effervescence and Communitas: Processual Models of Ritual and Society in Émile Durkheim and Victor Turner." Dialectical Anthropology 26, no. 2: 89-124. Pratt, Tim. 2016. “Sicut Cervus: The Tradition Continues- And Spreads to Santa Fe.” St. John’s College, News and Features, October 7, 2016. https://www.sjc.edu/news/sicut-cervus-traditioncontinues-and-spreads-santa-fe. Priest, eldritch. 2013. “Felt as Thought (or, Musical Abstraction and the Semblance of Affect).” In Sound, Music, Affect: Theorizing Sonic Experience, edited by Marie Thompson and Ian Biddle, 45-64. London: Bloomsbury. Ruskin, Jesse and Timothy Rice. 2012. “The Individual in Musical Ethnography.” Ethnomusicology 56, no. 2: 299-327. Stokes, Martin. 1994. “Chapter 1: Introduction: Ethnicity, Identity and Music.” Ethnicity, Identity and Music: The Musician Construction of Place, edited by Martin Stokes, 1-27. Oxford, UK: Berg Publishers. Stone-Davis, Férdia J., ed. 2015. Music and Transcendence. Burlington, VT: Ashgate. Thompson, Marie and Ian Biddle, eds. 2013. Sound, Music, Affect: Theorizing Sonic Experience. London: Bloomsbury. Winstead, J. Lloyd. 2013. When Colleges Sang: The Story of Signing in American College Life. Tuscaloosa, AL: The University of Alabama Press. �Πόλις THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 Fi y Shades of Modern, Monotonous, Mind-Numbing Gray By Tamar Pinsky I bet Hell’s been on a lot of your minds recently, given the recent sophomore readings of the Inferno, the senior writing period, not to mention the perverted weather patterns we’ve had tossed at us. Hell’s been brewing in my mind since winter break, when I visited there on a little trip. I didn't go to Dante’s Hell, oh no. I went to a gray, gray, insipid gray, secluded, gray Hell, a vast gray expanse in the middle of nowhere, not too far from Potomac, Maryland, filled with modern art and architectural structures. A museum, okay? The Hell I experienced was a museum. I went to a museum with my mother, and it drove me out of my mind. The name of the place? Glenstone. Let me give you a couple disclaimers before I proceed. First of all, I do not hate museums nor do I hate art. This is not an anti-art op-ed by your local art hater. On the contrary, I appreciate looking at and creating a variety of art forms. Sure, I can have a harder time with some modern art, but who doesn’t? Second of all, I do not hate the color gray. On the contrary, my favorite pair of jeans are a dark charcoal. But it irked me that the whole of Glenstone was shiny, sleek, and gray, from the gravelly parking lot to the boxy buildings to the staff’s uniforms. So what’s my deal with gray then? Have you heard of the term “millennial gray”? The color gray is now in style because everyone is over maximalism and the bright colors of blatant consumerism. Gray is now a soothing relief instead of a bore. The problem? That calming grayness is all a facade, for consumerism is as strong as ever. Have you heard of the term “quiet luxury”? Extra, extra! Now you can spend more money on fewer items—simple, gray, items—so you can pretend to be rich and humble at once. Millennial gray and quiet luxury were just the terms to describe Glenstone. The place was huge; it was like an airport. Only it was not an airport; it was not providing transportation for thousands of people. It was providing a glimpse into the life of the rich; the whispering wind screamed a haunting message— “look at my simple extravagance!” Not just the gray box buildings were to blame for the gray subtly wealthy sentiment. The location—a realm of wheat-colored bundles of weedy grasses— somehow both ugly and charming—increased the sense of “we can do whatever we like with our twelve hundred acres of isolated land, see?” But perhaps the most at fault were the art pieces inside the box buildings. I came into the place with the goal to try and appreciate the art, find some meaning. I came into it with an open mind. But my enthusiasm led to my eventual overwhelmed insanity. The first piece we saw was a compilation of several canvases, hung up on the wall in an array. About twenty-four in all, each was painted a different color. There were some similar colors, only differing by a shade, but there was not a single repeat. “I’d hire the guy for a paint job,” I told my mother. Despite our cynicism, we decided to give the piece more than a single glance. So we played a made -up game of “come up with a creative name for each color!” “Terracotta,” my mother said. “Inside-of-a-banana-yellow", I replied. “The-red-that-is-called-cadmium-red-when-youbuy-paint-but-actually-looks-a-bit-orange-ish," my mother continued. And so on. One of the museum staff noticed us staring at the wall of colored canvases and giggling for fifteen minutes straight, and asked us why it intrigued us. We told her, and she exclaimed, "jellybeans!" She apparently had done "the exact same thing as us"—she had come up with jellybean flavors that each color might represent. I didn't think it was exactly the same thing—similar—but I did not argue; I allowed her to revel in this moment of connection over the art. Then my mother and I went into the first room of pieces and I continued trying to get something out of every piece. I did not want to be one of those people who dismisses all of modern art without giving it so much as a chance. At the same time, however, I didn’t want to be one of those people who speaks so snobbishly about modern art, saying phrases like “the juxtaposition of the curvature and the vibrant red hues” and “evoking a conversational discord in the mind of the viewer.” So I just tried to be straightforward about it. 13 �Πόλις THE GADFLY Looking at the first piece, I said—“it reminds me of an eraser I had in middle school that I loved. It was half blue and half white; the blue side erased pen and the white side erased pencil. I called it my pen eraser and everyone wanted to borrow it; this was before erasable pens were everywhere.” I tried to come up with some comparison for every piece we looked at, but it got increasingly more challenging. What do you say about a piece called “yellow relief” that’s just a canvas raised on one side, painted two tones of yellow? And it certainly feels odd to look at basic pencil sketches of flowers hanging on the walls as if they are enormous projects—they couldn’t have taken longer than a few minutes; they were called sketches, for Pete’s sake! We had only gone through the first section of the building when my mother and I decided we needed a break. We went to the restroom. And my god, even the restrooms were pretentious. Each stall was a little room, with doors that stretched from the ceiling all the way to the floor. Which was saying a lot; the ceiling stretched over ten feet high. Everything was white and clean and pristine and huge and the soap smelled delightful. When we came out we decided we’d had enough. We exited the big gray box building and stepped out into the sunshine. It was a nice day, cool, with just the right amount of sun. We looked at the weedy plants shining golden and pleasant against the blueness of the sky. There were country looking houses in the far background, small and cute because of the distance. “What a nice landscape,” I said to my mother. “It looks like a painting. Let’s take a picture of it, maybe later I’ll paint it.” It was a nice experience at first, to look at this view after the hodgepodge of disarray inside the gray building. But then I realized what the building had done to me. Everything I set my eyes upon now looked like a painting. It looked far off, and like the people walking in it had hopped inside a picture, Mary Poppins style. All I could think about was the composition, the colors, the texture, the structure. Nothing looked real, everything was constructed, everything was something about which to be contemplated. We started walking on a footpath, and I tried to let go of the weird feeling I was having. I wanted to close my eyes tight and never have to look at anything ever again. Because once I started looking, the more I felt like I had been picked up and placed in a fabricated reality. I felt like I was inside a big alien Glenstone museum courtyard (Source: Wikimedia Commons) 14 February 15, 2024 �Πόλις THE GADFLY maze, and I was there to look at things, and some aliens were looking down at me like I was their experiment. Even if it wasn’t aliens—some wealthy family had created the whole place. They had oodles of money to make this big area with strange art and strange vegetation. They had hired staff to dress in all gray and smile and welcome us into the vast expanse of surreality. “No way the workers are actually happy working here,” I said to my mother. “They'd go crazy. I would go crazy if I had to spend hours upon hours stuck up here. It’s all a facade. It's fake. It’s fake. It’s not real. They’ve plastered this happy persona onto themselves but really they’re crumbling and lifeless inside. Job pays well, probably, you think?” The place was eerie; I had been there two hours, and I had to leave. My mother and I walked on a path that we hoped would lead to the parking lot. It was a nice path and for a moment I considered that maybe I could tune myself back into the real world. But I looked at the drops of water on the gravel that had stayed there from last night’s rain, and I looked at the rays of sun shining directly on them to dry them up, and I couldn’t shake the eeriness off. The sun was not real, what was it thinking, shining at me like this? We came to a structure. It was huge. It was a dinosaur of some sorts. Was this art? Maybe to some, but not to me. To me it was a huge dormant alien. That was it, no more chances for you, Glenstone. I’m not coming back. We made our way to the parking lot, and I asked my mother to drive on the way back; I was supposed to practice driving, but I was exhausted. I closed my eyes as we drove, I wanted to flush everything I’d seen out of them. I just needed a break from seeing. I hoped that I would be able to leave the alien hell behind me. The hell of colors and shapes that some people had decided were good. They (whoever they were) were trying to be better than “regular people.” They were saying—we can reach the world of the Forms. We can appreciate pure unadulterated color. We can appreciate Red without thinking of flowers and pomegranates and blood. We have achieved the highest form of contemplating color and structure— in the simplest way. If they were right—I don’t want to live in the world of Forms. I don’t want to understand the Forms. I only want to experience yellow in the context of a pretty blouse or a just-ripe banana. February 15, 2024 Unfortunately, they had infiltrated my mind, and I was scared that even in the normal world I would be extracting from images automatically. So I closed my eyes. Two months later, I am still sometimes plagued by this weird paranoia when I look around myself. I’ll see a pair of shoes and think of them as a prop. Who placed those shoes there? Look at those shoes, who shaped them in that way, who made them be black? Why are they angled in that way on the shoerack? Is someone placing them there like that for some sort of effect? See, I’m sort of in a movie now, and I’m watching the things in my life in a removed way. That’s what Glenstone did to me. Or maybe I’m blaming Glenstone unfairly? My mom had a great time, and we had gone together. Strange, that we had gone through the same experience and each come out of it so differently. But I suppose that not all architecture is for everyone. As the Austrian philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein said, “You think philosophy is difficult enough but I can tell you it is nothing to the difficulty of being a good architect.” Maybe that’s why the trip was so hard on me: I was thinking about the two hardest things, architecture and philosophy. Oh, and also, I had driven on the way there, slow as a snail, because I only have my learner’s permit, so there was that. Oh, and I hadn’t eaten in several hours, so I was light-headed the entire time. So yeah, just blame me, don’t blame Glenstone. The gray box buildings still haunt me, though. They got me thinking about the buildings on campus at St. John’s, and how I am certainly thankful to be living in one that makes me feel cozy rather than cold. Recently, I said to a friend of mine, “how awful would it be, if we went to university at one of those modern looking plain buildings?” to which she replied, “I’d kill myself.” Well, I’ll be killing myself trying to get the money to afford a nicer room next year. Because that’s the new situation, have you heard? Money is going to control whether you live in an architecturally delightful environment, or an architecturally gloomy one. (I’m exaggerating, I know.) But the point still stands—sure, I bet you could be sad in both a mansion and a shack, but you can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that your environment won't affect you at all. 15 �THE GADFLY Πόλις February 15, 2024 Comics: Noodles By Tamar Pinsky Washing Dishes 16 Tall Order Chef Secrets Good Dentist, Bad Dentist Crutches �Πόλις THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 Censor, Oh Censor By B.S. Pictured on Right: The Great Fighter of Red Menaces, Dwight (Source: SJC Digital Archives) My fellow Johnnies, What is America for? What’s the point of living in an ex-capital of our wonderful home of the free, land of the brave? Do you smell it, in the air, between the puffs of cigarette smoke and the strange odors that your classmates always seem to emit? It’s freedom. Nobody kicks tyrannical ass quite like us, nobody has successfully overthrown more dictators and allowed the people’s will to be expressed. We’ve got all the essential freedoms. Speech. Printing. Assembly. Bodily autonomy. I love this country. I was raised on freedom fries and post-9/11 rhetoric. Who loves freedom more than me? I have an American flag tramp stamp. I only buy from major multinational corporations. I have dogmatic opinions in favor of a political party that doesn’t really have my own interests in mind. I love freedom. So just hear me out when I say I think it’s gone a bit too far. Any time someone gets their views canceled, their protests shut down, their tweet ratioed out of existence, we’re always talking about freedom (I deserve to be heard! they whine). But what if… unfreedom is…kinda…sexy good? Sure, you may be a grown adult able to form your own opinions and views of the world, but what if your opinions and views are stupid? Have you seen the humanity out there on reality TV (which must be the most real by definition)? Really, what percentage of that population actually deserves the ability to rule themselves, make their own decisions, decide what they want? Johnnies are the worst example of this: we have all these opinions, these thoughts, these morals that we insist are “important” and “basic human rights,” but who amongst you has lived in the real world? Who amongst you can be trusted to have your own good in mind? It should not be controversial, when you go out on the quad on a Friday night and think to yourself, amongst the boozing and bad music circa 1970, that we might just need a parent state. This is particularly true of certain unnamed institutions. If we were, as a college, to hypothetically have a newspaper place for communicating with each other, for sharing opinions that genuinely matter (and often those that do not at all), I am of the opinion that such an institution must be, in its very form, censored: we can’t be trusted not to insult each other and hurt our own little feelings and certainly cannot be trusted to deal with the problems that are most important to us. And, hypothetically-allegedlypotentially, how would we control this institution? In the classic American fashion: money. Just fund this diabolical thing with school cash and then claim that it now reflects on the college in some way and thus must be censored to absurd standards. It’s perfect, will never get out of hand, and would certainly never have any effect on me in particular (so who cares if it hurts everyone else?). We need to be coddled. It’s for our own good. Anyways, I need to go finish reading this book on Russian history. This new Lenin guy seems really cool. Yours patriotically, B.S. 17 �Πόλις THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 half gone By Natalie Goldman Lightly treading, Lightly treading on a road somewhere Is December half gone And for more hours with it. A journey backwards is more than enough. Adding my own hat to the ring Was once a thing thought grotesque, But I have managed to turn the hands In a way that people could recognize. I’m not sure anymore What happens after it rains. I don’t think we’re absolved, Like people say. I don’t think our sins are washed away. Maybe we’ll just feel cold. It’s December and it’s cold And it won’t matter if we try. 18 �Πόλις THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 A Student Climbing on the Bookshelves of the Woodward Hall Library (From the SJC Digital Archives) 19 �Πόλις THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 Translation of the First Seven Stanzas of Valéry’s “Le cimetière marin” By Luke Briner This quiet rooftop where doves walk and plume That beats between the pine and solemn tomb; The just noon by his fires does there compose The sea, the sea, with all renewal’s sense! O contemplation’s noble recompense, Nought but a long look at the gods’ repose! What sinless work consumed by lightning fine, Abundant jewels of evanescent brine, And what an idyll seems to be conceived! When over the abyss a sun takes pause, The sacred work of an eternal cause, Time shines and fancy’s knowledge is received. Abiding treasure, sanctum of Minerve, Accord of calm and visible reserve, Proud water, guarding by internal sight Such great repose beneath a veil of fire; O silence!...soul’s consecrated spire, Roof with a thousand gilded tiles alight! 20 �Πόλις THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 Time’s temple, comprehended by a sigh: I climb and custom to that summit high, Flanked on all sides by this Neptunic gaze; As to the gods my offering supreme, So soweth luminosity serene Upon the sovereign peak’s disdainful haze. Just how fruit melts into a sweet enjoyed, As in delight it makes its presence void Within a mouth that’s soon deformed by death, Here I detect the smoke of future time, And to the rapt soul Jove recites his rhyme Of shores reduced to nought but murmured breath. O fairest, truest sky, see how I change! At end of such pride and of life so strange And indolent, but still of power full, I cede myself to this supernal space; O’er houses of the dead my shade makes pace, Enthralling me unto its gentle pull. The soul claimed by the fires of apogee— O justice most august, I honor thee, To vicious weapons sunk from brighter start! I hold you pure in your primordial height; Look at yourself! but cease not to make light Conjecture of a shadow’s dismal part. 21 �Πόλις THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 The Feeble Human Mind At Last Comprehends Infinity By Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm I tried so hard, for so long. I read Leibniz, Newton, Dedekind. I was a fool to think I could find it there. All I had to do was think about that day. Adonis Restaurant, a simple thirty minute drive. Slipping into politics as we coast down Interstate 5. An hour later, realizing we should already be there. Shamefully accidentally turning into a military base to turn around. What should’ve been a short trip, tripled. We joke that you’re a terrible driver; I’m a terrible navigator. We know this isn’t true. The real reason we always get lost? “Talking to you is addicting” ‒ your favorite line. I grew up learning that all things have an end ‒ people most of all, and love long before that. I don’t expect anything to last these days; most of the time, I hope that they won’t. Things can be flawed if they aren’t forever. In reality, this ends, too ‒ maybe. In reality, you can never hold infinity. Even in theory, my imagination falls short. Yet in my little fractured heart, I see it with clarity. Within this dream alone, no one gets tired of the other; Only in this complete safety can I relax into eternity. The ceaseless process of creating something infinite, The beauty of building a better and better life together, Begins in this little sedan while we converse as if the wild world could terminate and still we would go on talking without limit. Only this time we never wake up; we don't stop at Camp Pendleton. We just keep on going. And as long as we’re together, everything is indefinite, the sun never sets, and time is kind to our old regrets; the road never ends, and we never go back to being just friends; the geese never stop flying through the clean blue air, and the wind never stops messing up your hair; you never stop joking about my love for fries, and so my laughter never dies; the light never stops raining golden on your face, and we never stop talking about how to make this world a softer place; the sky remains forever blue, and I never, ever stop loving you. 22 �Πόλις THE GADFLY February 15, 2024 Good luck to all seniors with orals in the next few weeks! You’ve made it this far; you can do it! 23 �THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, staff, and alumni of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and Lunar New Year was on February 10, 2024. Welcome, Year of the Dragon! (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) thought provoking newsmagazine. Submissions sent to the Gadfly should either be in Google Docs or PDF format. For more information, contact us via email at lbriner@sjc.edu. 60 COLLEGE AVENUE ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 Photographs without a listed source are from the St. John's College Digital Archives. St. John's College owns the rights to these photographs. Illustrations without a listed source are by Takashi Mifune from Irasutoya.com and are free to use for non-commercial purposes. All rights to these illustrations still belong to the artist. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 24 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XLV, Issue 7 Description An account of the resource Volume XLI, Issue 7 of The Gadfly. Published February 15, 2024. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Briner, Luke (Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2024-02-15 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource College students' writings--Periodicals College student newspapers and periodicals St. John's College--Periodicals Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly Vol XLV Issue 7 Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/8c85f96c328fc281acbc0bdabfbc49cd.pdf 6f1273b3e6d7c0ddb1488cfffc4c5358 PDF Text Text THE St. John’s College Annapolis, Maryland GADFLY We Live in a Society March 21, 2024 Vol. XLV, Issue 8 �CONTENTS THE GADFLY STAFF COVER Λόγος What is the Best Place to Hang Out on Campus (Or Are You a Room Johnnie)? by Tamar Pinsky 3 You Shall Orient Your Objects: An Interview with Graham Harman, (post)Johnnie Philosopher by Bennett Scott 5 I Love Montaigne! Do You? by Tamar Pinsky 15 EDITOR-INCHIEF MANAGING EDITOR STAFF ΣυμπόσιονÊ A Demonstration of the Equivalence of Euclid’s Fifth Postulate, Proposition I.30, and Playfair’s Axiom by Luke Briner 17 Πόλις Secret Societies by Jack Webb 19 Paradox Puns by Tamar Pinsky 20 Come For Me, Vol. 1 by Allyson Brink 21 Liberal Arts as a Service by B.S. 22 A Review of Cabrini (2024) by Jack Webb 23 YOUT CONTRIBUTORS SJC Digital Archives Luke Briner El’ad NicholsKaufman Meliha Anthony Vivian Miyakawa Tamar Pinsky Louis Rosenberg Benne Sco Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm Allyson Brink Jack Webb Letter from the Editor Dear Polity, Welcome back! We at the Gadfly hope that you’ve all had a wonderful spring break. Please enjoy our eighth issue of the year, and here’s to finishing the year strong. Your editor, Luke Briner THE STRUCTURE Λόγος holds news reports and narratives of immediate relevance to the Polity. The purpose here is to develop a shared reservoir of information relating to campus life and the community. St. John's Students Seated with Musical Instruments, Playing Cards and Drinking Alcoholic Beverages ←Cover: Architectural Model of Renovated Greenfield Library 2 ΣυμπόσιονÊoffers the opportunity for our readers to thoughtfully consider contrasting opinions regarding a particular topic. ΠόλιςÊserves as a platform for elevating voices in our community. Here we find letters to the editor, columns, cartoons, and submitted pieces. �όγος THE GADFLY March 21, 2024 What is the Best Place to Hang Out on Campus (Or Are You a Room Johnnie)? By Tamar Pinsky Male Students Relaxing and Smoking in a Common Room (Source: SJC Digital Archives) When I look at St. John’s students, sometimes I wonder—do we get out enough? How many of us go to class, a club meeting here and there, and then straight to study and straight to bed? God, I’m kidding! (Mostly.) From what I can tell, the student body is bustling all over the place (have you walked past the fishbowl?). There is always someone out and about. But maybe that first bit did hit home for you, in which case, you should ask yourself: are you a Room Johnnie? If you are reluctant to self-diagnose yourself as such, let me ask instead: do you have a Third Place? What do I mean by Third Place? I mean a communal gathering place that is neither home nor the workplace (or school-place). Ray Oldenburg, in his book The Great Good Place, characterized the Third Place as a location that fosters community, a neutral place, a home away from home, a place where conversation is the focal activity.1 Think a café or a church. Do you have a Third Place that you spend leisure time in regularly? If the answer is no, I am afraid you might be a Room Johnnie. If the answer is yes, congratulations! But have you ever considered how important that place is in your life? According to a paper about potential 1 Oldenburg, R. (1999a). The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons, and Other Hangouts at the heart of a Community. Marlowe and Company. 3 �όγος THE GADFLY consequences of the closure of Third Places in the United States: [T]he social support generated in third places can be protective to health and wellbeing across the life course. Third places are often overlooked, yet represent essential sites to address society’s pressing challenges, including isolation, crime, education, addiction, physical inactivity, malnutrition, and sociopolitical polarization.2 Whether you are aware of it or not, if you spend ample time in one or more Third Place, you are doing wonders for yourself. The options for Third Places at St. John’s are always changing. Last year, there was no fishbowl. Next year, there will be a new coffee shop in Campbell, and it is still undetermined what will happen to the McDowell coffee shop. In the current school year, then, what do students consider to be the best Third Place? According to a semi-random3 survey of 65 St. John’s students from years freshmen to seniors, the number one best place to hang out on campus is the quad. Receiving 41.5% of votes, the quad is a sensible and timeless choice, as it is in the center of several parts of campus (McDowell, the dining hall), people walk through it on the way March 21, 2024 to class, and it is rarely under full construction. The fishbowl won second place—another unsurprising result. The fishbowl has attracted a large and increasing number of students (and tutors)— perhaps migrating from the coffee shop. As one student put it, “It’s been wonderful having the fishbowl this year. I honestly can’t remember what we did when everyone had to pack into only the coffee shop.” Speaking of the coffee shop, if you are wondering how it stacked up—it is still somewhat popular, ranking third place. It still holds a place in the hearts of many, but it remains to be answered how much we need it, and how much we may miss it next year, depending on what it becomes. The next two most voted for places were the gym and the smoking area, ironically. Do with that information what you will. Finally, another notable entry was [friends’] dorm rooms. To be honest, I was not sure whether to include these responses or not. For they are not exactly Third Places, given they are not public spaces. However, it seems unfair to dismiss them entirely, as they certainly strengthen community ties and are a space where many friendships bloom. As one student summed it up quite nicely, “Some of my happiest SJC memories are hanging out in dorm rooms.” 2 Finlay, J., Esposito, M., Kim, M. H., Gomez-Lopez, I., & Clarke, P. (2019, November). “Closure of “third places”? exploring potential consequences for collective health and Wellbeing.” Health & Place (Nov. 2019): 60. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6934089/ 3 The survey was conducted using Instagram stories and the SJC email, so students who tend to be offline are unfortunately not well represented. Also, as seen in the chart below, the responses are mostly from sophomores. 4 �όγος THE GADFLY March 21, 2024 You Shall Orient Your Objects: An Interview with Graham Harman, (post)Johnnie Philosopher By Benne Sco Pictured: Two philosophers (Photos from Wikipedia and the kitchen hallway in my apartment, respectively) Mr. Graham Harman is, and presumably that’s one of the most interesting things about him. He helped found Object Oriented Ontology (shortened to OOO throughout [Professor Harman always puts: “Pronounced ‘Triple-O’” after he first uses this acronym in a book, but I prefer to say Oooooo to myself each time I read it]), a new approach to metaphysics which takes “objects,” their qualities, and the gaps that exist in those relationships as primary. His Object Oriented Ontology: A New Theory of Everything is a wonderful introduction to his thought, but I’ll be doing my best to give the reader some basics throughout the course of the interview to make things a little more comprehensible. Before we get into the big ideas, it’s worth clarifying a term we will be using a lot: by “object,” Harman means anything which is more than its parts and its connections. This magazine is an object, but so too are WWII, the internet, and the mitochondria in the heaviest cell in my body. Idea 1: Objects and their Qualities have essential gaps between each other and themselves Kant in many ways entirely changed the face of philosophy; in the Critique of Pure Reason, this shift finds its basis in the difference between noumena (things-inthemselves) and phenomena (things as we experience them). Almost all post-Kantian philosophy accepts Kant’s divide of the world into human/everything else, but does its best to ignore the existence of the things in themselves. OOO differs in both respects: it is a “flat” ontology, meaning that humans are given no primacy over other objects (thought/world is thus not a meaningfully unique categorization) and it takes the noumena/phenomena distinction to be extremely important for all inter-object relations, including in how they relate to their qualities. This is expressed in a slightly expanded form of Harman’s chart on page 81 of the OOO book: 5 �όγος THE GADFLY March 21, 2024 OOO is concerned with the ways in which these lines— the relations between objects and qualities—describe the various possible connections in the world. fashionable form suggests that the universe is just a single vibrating energy field, and so individual entities are just derivative, temporary crystallizations from the whole. Idea 2: Science and analytic philosophy focus too much on under- and overmining For Harman, there are two forms of knowledge based on two methods: overmining and undermining. Overmining treats things as centrally constituted by their impact (e.x. Water satiates my thirst). Undermining treats things as centrally constituted by their constituent parts (e.x. Water is made of hydrogen and oxygen). Much of modern philosophy and science partakes in what Harman calls ‘duomining,’ in which the object of interest is both overmined and undermined (e.x. Humans are social creatures made from certain types of cells). While these are the only two forms of knowledge in OOO’s view, knowledge is not the only goal; art, for example, should not be expected purely to tell us about its parts nor about its relationships. Philosophy, too, should not be limited to mere gathering of knowledge because its treats of objects and all objects, to Harman, are irreducible to their components and their effects (there is more to you than all your relations to the world and all of the particles which form you). Instead of pure knowledge, philosophy needs to be oriented towards something more elusive. From here, I will let my conversation with Mr. Harman take over for a while: BS:Ê You have used prolonged examples, including the Dutch East India Company, to explain your attitudes towards objects. Why are these ideal examples of objects? GH: I chose the Dutch East India Company because I always enjoyed the portion in Leibniz’s correspondence with Antoine Arnauld that disqualifies certain things from being real substances: a circle of men holding hands, two diamonds glued together, or all the officers of the Dutch East India company. This is what I like least in the tradition of substance philosophy: its overreliance on nature as a criterion for real substancehood. Today we are increasingly interested in artificial and compound objects, especially technical ones, and we need a new criterion that allows us to treat such hybrid beings as substances. In my 2016 book Immaterialism I considered the Dutch East India Company as an object no less real than a tree, and was pleased with the results. BS:Ê In terms of combating overmining in particular, you’ve brought up the idea of a “zero-person” approach to art and architecture (e.g. Architecture and Objects, 5). What is a zero-person approach and why is it important? GH: When I was at St. John’s, a distinguished outside lecturer came in and said that the whole point of a liberal arts education is to see that “everything is connected.” Even at the time, that sounded like an exaggeration. It leads to an extreme form of holism, which in today’s In the arts, this takes the form of everyone wanting their artworks (and architectural works even more so) to be taken as “site-specific,” and as somehow directly intervening in social or political questions. I wouldn’t rule all political art out of court, but it is by no means the case that an artwork ever relates to the whole of the universe. Part of the task of an artist is to teach us, however vaguely, what is excluded from a given work. An artwork asks us to forget everything else for a while. Now that I teach at SCIArc, a premier architecture school in Los Angeles, I try to encourage my students to be clearer with themselves about what parts of a building site they are engaging in dialogue with and what parts they deliberately ignore. Otherwise, the dogma of site-specificity turns everything into a formless blob, like the pre-Socratic apeiron. Everything is not everything else. As concerns the term “zero-person,” I came up with that for a 2009 article in a collection on the philosophy of mind. One of the recurring debates in philosophy of mind is between scientistic thinkers who think that mind is perfectly describable through third-person descriptions of subpersonal neural components and outward behavior (Daniel Dennett comes to mind), and the more humanistic camp who think that first-person mental experience is real and irreducible to the third-person (such as David Chalmers). Both of these seemed wrong to me, since both are committed to the idea that mind can be captured in some sort of description. I don’t think so. The self cannot be exhausted by scientific descriptions, for the same reason that it cannot be exhausted by introspective awareness: otherwise, who would ever need therapy? The self is never directly present to us. “Zero-person” refers to the intrinsic reality of selfhood, and both third- and firstperson approaches inevitably fall short of it. In other words, the zero-person of the psyche is the psyche in its own right, not the psyche as presented through some favored means of description, and that’s why we need to approach it obliquely rather than directly. 6 (Campus of SCI-Arc, Source: SCI-Arc) �όγος THE GADFLY In the book Architecture and Objects I applied this idea to architecture, as you noted. In the modern period the leading distinction in architecture is between form and function, with different camps of architects disagreeing over how much priority to give to one or the other. But the problem here is that form is usually described as the visual look of a building, and function as its immediate purpose, and there are serious problems with both of these. As for architectural form, a building has many different looks depending on the place and distance from which you are viewing it, the time of day and year, and so forth. But even more importantly, architecture is more a kinetic experience than a visual one. We remember ourselves passing through a series of stations, both inside and outside the building, and this total experience gets us closer to the form than a mere postcard view can do. As for architectural function, we also cannot equate it with the current purpose of a building. The Italian architect and critic Aldo Rossi wrote eloquently about how many buildings have a function different from their original one. So, what you need to do is look away from the surface purpose and ask about the “deep function” of the building. The SCI-Arc building where I work was originally a freight depot for the Santa Fe railroad, before falling into disuse and becoming a habitat for homeless people. Then one day, an Uber driver told me that he used to bribe the homeless to leave for a night so that he could host rave parties inside. Later it was purchased and re-developed into an architecture school. If there’s a deep function of the building, it would be something like “extended horizontal movement along a narrow corridor,” and in this form it affects the entire culture of the school today as much as it affected the other uses. If you want to avoid somebody at SCI-Arc for any reason, then you really need to leave the building and go outside, because there’s only one hallway. But this also makes it easier to find people when necessary. BS:Ê You have said in Architecture and Objects (100) that “every entity must be a compound” and immediately followed such an interesting statement by saying you wouldn’t argue it in the book. Would you be able to give at least an outline of why you think this must be so? GH: That’s because it’s a technical philosophical question and I’ve been waiting for the right opportunity to develop and present it. But the basic answer goes something like this: Kant includes, among his Antinomies [questions undecidable by reason], the question as to whether there’s a final layer of physical simples or whether matter can be cut up infinitely in the way that Aristotle imagined in the Physics. But far from calling it an Antinomy, I would say that there must be an infinite regress of entities. Every entity has specific qualities that make it different from all others. And I interpret qualities as being that which leaks out from the combination of two separate entities when they combine; they combine in a literal way, but the excess of the parts not used up in the literal combination March 21, 2024 leak out. You may recall what I said about metaphor in Object-Oriented Ontology. I’m thinking of the “wine-dark sea” in the Odyssey. There is no way to translate this phrase literally into “the Aegean Sea is the same color as wine,” because that’s both banal and partially false. Homer uses the resemblance in color as a pretext to assert the implausible claim that the sea has all of the other qualities of wine as well: intoxication, danger, oblivion, and so forth. This is one of the best examples of leakage, since the superfluous qualities of the wine are left behind in the air and seem to belong to the sea. When pondering the metaphor, one thing you are not thinking about is color, because that’s already been used up as a bonding agent between the two terms in the metaphor. BS: One of the central points of your treatment of objects is the way in which the reality of objects goes beyond what we can witness, extending Kant’s insight about ‘the thing-in-itself.’ You have a very interesting quote in Art and Objects (7) where you say: “The real embraces us from above no less than eluding us from below.” I was hoping you could expand on what sort of relationship this creates between us and reality and how top-down reality imposes on us. GH: When people talk about realism, they're usually talking about something “outside the mind.” I use quotation marks here because why is the outside always supposed to be an outside of the mind? Other things have outsides too, and realism ought to try to say something about them as well. In any case, the realist philosopher looks for techniques to go outside and grab that real; usually this involves the techniques of mathematics or natural science, in an effort to borrow from the current superior prestige of these disciplines. But there are also approaches like Kant’s and Heidegger’s, which recognize the difficulty of getting at reality directly. (Harran II by Frank Stella, one of Michael Fried’s favorite artists; Source: Whitney Museum of Art) But as for “realism from above,” with this phrase I was focused on the fact that we as thinkers are real, and that any time we take an interest in something, we unite with that thing to form a new sort of hybrid object. More specifically, I was thinking of Kant’s admonition to 7 �όγος THE GADFLY approach art with disinterest. The art historian Michael Fried, whose Friday Night Lecture in Annapolis during my student days meant a lot to me, tries something similar when he speaks out against “theatricality” in the arts. What Kant and Fried share is the view that the artwork and the beholder must never be mixed, and this provides most of Fried’s ammunition against the post-1960s forms of theatricalized art that he has never liked. But as I see it, art is made of both artwork and beholder as surely as water is made of both hydrogen and oxygen. In Art and Objects, my lengthiest and most serious meditation on visual art so far I was trying to show the way in which the human beholder of painting is actually part of the painting as well. What I was trying to do was show that the traditional formalism that draws a sharp distinction between work and observer is not the right kind of formalism. In fact, they do not have autonomy from each other; their autonomy is a shared one in which the two together are partially cut off from the remainder of the universe, just like hydrogen and oxygen when they meet to form water. Realism from above means that the real isn’t just something that eludes our direct gaze, but is also something that we constantly produce through our thoughts and actions. There has been a modern tendency to see humans as having the special feature of transcending or outstripping the world. I’d rather say that we are constantly burrowing ever more deeply into the world, the very opposite of transcendence. Along with transcendence, there is a tendency to fetishize alienation and irony due to their supposed position of distance from the world. Instead, I’d prefer that we celebrate sincerity and fascination with the world. We humans are curious cats, and are capable of being intrigued by almost anything. So why pretend that we’re somehow above everything as our fundamental feature? Idea 3: Aesthetics is essential OOO has a common catchphrase: “aesthetics as first philosophy.” To this new approach, art is not a peripheral subfield, but instead is an essential basis for thought. It’s worth noting that “[b]y aesthetics, OOO means the general theory of how objects differ from their own qualities” as alluded to above (Art and Objects, 24). One of the most important ways in which aesthetics influences OOO is through metaphor. How exactly does a metaphor work, for example, “the wine dark sea”? OOO’s account, in brief, goes like this: when presented with a metaphor, the two objects cannot be too literally identical (a truck is like a car) nor entirely disparate (a star is like a towel), but must overlap in some way. Once this overlap occurs, many of the nonshared qualities of the one object get put onto the other (the sea goes from mere wine darkness to having wine’s other qualities: drunkenness, danger, temptation, etc.). But what object are these qualities being put onto? We don’t have direct access to the Real Object (the thing-in-itself) 8 March 21, 2024 of the sea. Instead, we, as readers, take the place of the sea in the metaphor, performing the combined qualities in ourselves. BS:Ê Is the way in which humans must exist for aesthetic appreciation in some way essential for OOO? In what areas can we move past human compounds? GH: We can’t move past human compounds in art, I would say, since an artwork necessarily has a human beholder as one of its components. Years ago, after a lecture in France, someone asked me what “art without humans” would look like, and I was stumped. It took a few months before I realized that the question was a misunderstanding. The point of OOO is to consider the status of objects independent of human access to them, and also independent of each other. People tend to forget the second part and assume that OOO is all about a world without humans: as if humans were contaminating agents that ought to be removed from any situation if we are to learn anything useful. But that’s not OOO, that’s Kant’s Critique of Judgment, where disinterested contemplation is said to be the only way to do artworks justice. Of course, there are plenty of interactions in the cosmos that do not involve humans as one of the terms, such as a collision between rocks in distant outer space. Many people will try to lasso this example too, by saying that since we are humans thinking about this collision, that somehow it also involves human thought. This is effectively how the German Idealists tried to put an end to Kant’s thing-in-itself. It would take a long discussion to settle the issue, but the root of the problem is that they equivocate between two senses of “human thought.” It is helpful to remember that OOO is primarily an antiliteralist philosophy. Now, there are two ways to explain what literalism means, and both are genuine parts of the puzzle. The first sense of literalism is the notion that we can know what things really are. There are no hidden aspects of reality, no occult qualities or things-inthemselves, and no truth that cannot be expressed in the form of clear propositional statements. Modern scientific rationalism inclines in this direction, but I reject it. The first reason is that much of reality is simply not paraphrasable in this way. As soon as you restate a metaphor, a joke, a threat, or erotic innuendo in terms of plain old English prose, you have ruined it. Aristotle made the same point about rhetoric: you’re not supposed to explain to your audience that “this man has been crowned three times with laurel” just means that “this man has won three times at the Olympics.” By doing that you have destroyed the elegance of the speech, and elegance is something real, not a superfluous decoration. But there is also the philosophical case made by such thinkers as Kant and Heidegger that the real cannot be stated clearly in prose, or directly perceived. I’m on their side in this argument. The world is not made of statements, and hence anything made purely of statements is not the world. This �όγος THE GADFLY isn’t “mysticism,” it’s just the recognition that you can’t translate one thing into the terms of another without energy loss. We all know that a globe cannot be translated adequately into a map. The other way to explain literalism is by pointing out the flaw in David Hume’s “bundle of qualities” theory. Strictly speaking, Hume does not believe in objects. There is no such thing as an apple. That’s just an abbreviation for a large number of qualities that seem to go together so often through customary conjunction that, through sheer force of habit, we call them an apple as a sort of bulk nickname. Though it hasn’t often been noticed, the best refutation of Hume on this point is found in Edmund Husserl’s phenomenology. The founding insight of phenomenology is that experience is not of “contents” (as Husserl’s teacher Brentano still assumed) but of “objects.” I don’t see pixelated qualities or bundles of qualities, I see apples. And I consider them the same apples even though their qualities seem to change wildly from one moment to the next as the sun moves and my mood shifts. (Still Life with a Skull and a Writing Quill by Pieter Claesz, Source: Met Museum) To summarize in different words, what OOO is really about is the surprisingly loose relation between an object and its appearances, and between an object and its qualities. Those relations are usually taken to be extremely tight: for Hume, they are so tight that there is no difference between an object and its qualities. But to some extent we knew long before Husserl that objects aren’t bundles of qualities. Just recall Aristotle’s simple point that Socrates happy and Socrates sad, Socrates sitting and Socrates standing, are still the same Socrates. For OOO it is the gap between the enduring object and its swirling qualities that is crucial, and this is why most of OOO’s method involves different ways of driving a wedge between an object and its appearances and an object and its qualities. We give the general name of “aesthetics” to all of these gaps, the March 21, 2024 reason being that aesthetic experience is the easiest place to find them. Though, we should recognize that natural science is also not confined to a literalist outlook, at least not in its best moments. This already became clearer when authors such as Karl Popper and Imre Lakatos showed that scientific statements are either falsifiable (Popper) or already falsified from the start (Lakatos), which means that they simply cannot be literal expressions of what reality looks like.. BS: One of the important qualities in your assessment of art is that an artistic object cuts itself off from some but not all connections around it (you give the example that even the most perfect postmodern piece of art cannot take into account the location of all the dust in the room). Is there a way to think about which connections will be cut off and which maintained? GH: What I think too often happens, with artists and architects who aspire to have more than an aesthetic effect on the world, is that they quickly dive into the deep end of an untenable holism. For instance, artists often proudly announce that their works are “site-specific,” and architects really have no choice but to work with a specific site. But the point is that no work is infinitely site-specific. Picasso’s “Guernica” is in part a commentary on the human rights atrocity of a surprise Luftwaffe bombing in Spain, but it is deliberately and rightly silent about other disasters occurring in the same year, such as the Hindenburg crash. You always have to choose certain aspects of the site to resonate with your work, while remaining silent about others. And the more that artists pay serious attention to demarcating what lies inside or outside the work, the more we will be back in the formalist camp. Unlike traditional formalism, a wider geographical space might now be included in the artwork, but the whole universe will never be included: an artist could always try to make a work called “Universe,” but it is highly unlikely that they will succeed in bringing the universe as a whole into play aesthetically. The title would then be a mere word. The artist needs to signal, however tacitly, what the limits of the work are supposed to be. And then the artist actually needs to pull it off. (Exterior of the Lawrence and Anne Kistner Shaw House in Portland by John Yeon, Source: dwell.com [note: I do not know if Harman would approve of this house, but it suits me]) 9 �όγος THE GADFLY My St. John’s classmate David Ruy, the person who did the most to draw me into the architectural world, wrote a brilliant article about how the understandable environmental concerns of architecture today run the risk of architecture dissolving into ecology, which is another example of how holism can go too far. If we do the calculations on a building’s desired carbon footprint limits, there are still many different design paths that can lead one to achieve the desired result. It follows that architecture, like art, cannot just be a branch of climate science, of Marxism, or of anything else. By no means do I agree that politics or themes of social protest have no business anywhere near art. There are too many counterexamples, in visual art and literature, of works that were able to pull off aesthetic and political work simultaneously. But there is no master discipline holding the ultimate moral high ground. And whenever people start to behave as if there were, what you get is nothing more than Puritanism at work. In fact, these days I fear that the academic world is becoming nothing more than Puritanism in different guise, as if the point were merely to hold a giant sit-in about reality in general and complain about how horrible everything is. That’s too big and too unrealistic a mission for anyone. There are important finite breakthroughs to be made; they don’t all need to save the world. BS: In relation to architecture, you’ve spoken of how actual buildings have different requirements than philosophical ideas; for example you speak of how Derridean architects must “tempe[r] Derrida’s excessive love of nonidentity with architectural fact” (Architecture and Objects, 38). Are there ways in which enacting OOO in actual architecture has changed your views? GH:Ê I should admit that I’m not Derrida’s biggest fan, but, more to the point, Derrida was intellectually close for a while to the American architect Peter Eisenman. Their relationship fell apart in a classic exchange of open letters, right around the time I graduated from St. John’s. The reason I find Derrida’s side of that correspondence so frustrating is that he raises what I take to be largely pointless claims about Eisenman misusing words: such as Plato’s chora, or even “absence.” Eisenman’s response was effectively: “I can’t play games with words all day. I have to design something that won’t collapse on the heads of its users.” Derrida can claim all he wants to challenge the principle of identity—though I don’t think he succeeds—but Eisenman cannot do so without causing mass casualties. This is one way Eisenman helps remind us of the modern philosopher’s disease: the notion that ideas are always most successful when pushed as far as possible, as if screaming were always the right tone of voice. Today, for example, the French philosopher Alain Badiou is disappointed in Alban Berg for making atonal music palatable to the listening public. The notion seems to be 10 March 21, 2024 that ideas are automatically best when in their most concentrated form, and that anything less amounts to watering them down. I don’t think so. The reason for compromise in thought is not to water down or sell out. It’s because of the realization that the world itself is also a component of ideas, perhaps in the same sense that the beholder of an artwork is part of the artwork. If there were a form of oxygen unable to bind with hydrogen, would we call it the “best” kind of oxygen just because it doesn’t lower itself to dealings with hydrogen? That would be odd. Yes, I’m a philosopher who emphasizes the prior non -relationality of things, but that’s only because relations take work and we need to do work to explain how they happen, not because relations are too degrading for individual things. If Derrida were designing buildings, he might have better realized that his critique of self-identity is both unnecessary and a bridge too far. Throwing a baseball 1,000 feet is not better than throwing it forty-five feet, given the spatial range over which baseball games take place. (Eisenman’s City of Culture of Galicia, Source: Eisenman Architects) As for OOO and architecture, I’m not directly involved in designing buildings, but I do have friends who design, and I do look at and comment on a lot of student design work. One advantage I think architects have over philosophers is that they are always bringing their skills to bear on finite problems requiring finite solutions. This means that they need to take various sorts of constraints more seriously than we do. Philosophy is not a discipline that is fond of constraints, except whichever ones it inherits without comment and then defends to the death when challenged. BS: Has your philosophy, in turn, changed how you look at particular buildings or works of art? GH: It does provide me with certain tools for looking at particular works in a new way. But my preference has actually been to look at art and architecture as a way of trying to “falsify” the current version of my philosophy at any time. Here’s what I’m worried about. Consider Clement Greenberg, a controversial figure, but no doubt �όγος THE GADFLY (Westminster Abbey, London; Source: Architectural Digest) the greatest art critic America has ever produced. He speaks highly of his own “eye,” and of how much he trusts it. For a long time I took that statement at face value. But after years of reading him, I came to the conclusion that his success was less about his eye and more about his underlying theory. That’s why I think the best way to train one’s eye is to look for disproof of one’s own favored aesthetic theories. Artworks serve best as falsifiers rather than verifiers of philosophies. In museums and galleries, what I often look for are things that I should hate but don’t. For instance, in architecture, since I had no very defined architectural taste before starting to teach at SCI-Arc in 2016. Before then, my judgments were impulsive and personal. But from working and talking with architects, and from studying architectural history, I’ve become a lot more sophisticated in this area. I’ve also shifted towards liking more complex and intricate architecture, including such styles as Gothic and Renaissance, while maybe I’ve grown tired of High Modernism. Once I was reading something about Gothic architecture that struck me. Modern architecture sees space as a preexistent whole that can be analytically carved up, but Gothic architecture proceeds more by agglomeration. You have a building, and then you add something onto it, and then add something else, and then something else. That sort of hybridization has interested me in a couple of other contexts as well. For example, when I started reading about Lynn Margulis and her non-Darwinian approach to evolution through serial endosymbiosis. Individual creatures are not cut off from each other over the course of history, but often invade each other parasitically, so that evolution really occurs less through natural selection than through a cell being invaded by a virus and then joining with that virus to become a new species. I suppose this sort of case interests me so much because of my dissatisfaction with the modern idea that there are only two kinds of things in the universe: (a) human thought, and (b) everything else. I see human thought as just one March 21, 2024 kind of thing among trillions of others, not as half of ontology. As humans we will of course be more interested in human matters than in anything else, but the human entity needs to be treated differently in philosophy than as 50% of the cosmos. Primarily, humans are entities that combine readily with other sorts of things, and should not be treated as a purified half of reality. BS: Is there a book or author you’ve most enjoyed disagreeing with? GH: Yes, that would be Alfred North Whitehead, who I think was one of the small number of great philosophers in the twentieth century and that greatness is fairly simple, in my view: during a long era when philosophy more or less assumed that we need to begin with what is given in the thought-world relation, Whitehead just canceled that assumption. For him the more general category is “prehensions” (relations) between any two entities. Human cognition does not have any central status for philosophy, but is just another kind of relation. If Whitehead had been trained as a professional philosopher instead of a mathematician, as he was in real life, he probably would not have found it as easy to ignore one of the central dogmas of the modern philosophical profession. I also disagree with much of what he says. But as someone with the potential to guide us out of the thought/world deadlock that limits modern philosophy, he’s hard to beat. And secondarily, for the same reasons as with Whitehead, I enjoyed disagreeing with the late Bruno Latour, an important philosopher disguised during his lifetime as a sociologist and anthropologist. Latour is effectively a Whiteheadian, so our basic disagreement is the same. He thinks an entity is nothing more than the sum total of effects it has on other entities. Latour’s Actor-Network Theory is a useful innovation for making discoveries in the social sciences, but in the end Latour needed more Aristotle in his blood. Things cannot be analyzed into a (Harman and Bruno Latour; Source: anthem.wordpress.com) 11 �όγος THE GADFLY sum of relations any more than they can be adequately defined, and for the same reason. Things are not just bundles of relations, any more than they are bundles of qualities in Hume’s fashion. Latour and I had a long argument about that up until his death two years ago from cancer. But he was the first major international thinker to take me seriously when I was young, and I’ll never forget his generosity in that respect. That leads me to another piece of advice for graduating Johnnies, one that I received from one of my own professors in graduate school. If you ever want to contact someone you admire with a question or a comment, never be afraid to do so. No matter how famous they are, they probably feel misunderstood, rejected, and alone, and will welcome your approach. I’ve encountered this again and again in intellectual life. The most significant thinkers are often the most approachable people on earth; it’s the pretenders who make a big scene of being too busy to talk. Try it, and you’ll see what I mean. BS:Ê You have spoken in a few different places about how, in your opinion, “the philosophical foundations of any theory cannot be a form of knowledge but must be a subtler, more indirect way of addressing the world” much like that of art (Immaterialism, 13). How might a philosophy—especially for those of us who have been raised in the very scientific 20th/21st centuries—go about such an approach? GH:Ê One of the bad ideas encouraged by modernism is that we should always begin any enquiry from some unshakeable first principle. But there are no unshakeable first principles, and that is why Whitehead says that they should be the goal rather than the starting-point of philosophical inquiry. Whitehead has a lot of good things to say about the practice of philosophy, in fact. Another is that philosophies are abandoned, not refuted. In other words, the obsession of professional philosophy with “knockdown arguments” is usually pretty futile. We abandon our previous philosophy for a new one not because we find “incorrect arguments” in the former, because the previous philosophy either leaves out too much of reality or because its various parts prove to be incoherent with each other. Parmenides wrote: “Being is, and non-being is not.” Do we reject this because of some “knockdown argument”? No, most likely we will never become Parmenideans because we recognize something hopelessly abstract about his manner of dealing with reality, and thus we are already on the road to some sort of dialectic. And then it turns out that dialectic has limits of its own, and the adventure continues. The only field in which it is remotely plausible to say that we begin with unshakeable first truths is geometry, and they’re only “unshakeable” in the limited sense that we agree to accept certain axioms. All St. John’s students have made or soon will make their tour through non- 12 March 21, 2024 Euclidean geometry, and thus they are aware that Euclid’s axioms aren’t unshakeable either. You can also read Proofs and Refutations by Imre Lakatos, the important Hungarian philosopher of science, and discover how later proofs in mathematics often retroactively transform our sense of the earlier ones. In any case, don’t go looking for rock solid foundations in philosophy. Start instead with something apparently paradoxical that you truly care about, and keep pushing on it, and eventually you might see that people have been missing what’s important about it. That’s what I did with the famous tool-analysis in Heidegger’s Being and Time. Hundreds of people have written about it, but none of them have seen what I thought was truly important. It was (and still is) usually interpreted in the banal sense of “praxis comes before theory,” even by some very smart people. And once you get to that point, push it beyond whatever author you’re arguing with, and see how it works out in the broader world. At that stage, the worthwhile people will either be listening to you or ignoring you based on how generally fertile your idea is, not by some debate over whether you made a logical error in step 3B of your argument. Academic debate often works that way, but important philosophy generally does not. BS: To ask some more general questions now: What is it like to be a philosopher in 2024? GH:ÊIn professional terms, it’s a bit stifling. Part of that is just because job opportunities are dwindling and there’s not a lot of movement. Many good people are hanging on as part-timers, hoping for full-time jobs that are not likely to appear. In a place like France this might not be a concern, since there are many ways to participate in intellectual life there without being a professor. But in the United States, work hours are so long and vacations so few that without independent wealth it is hard to find a lifestyle that allows the many free hours needed to read and write. Luckily, I have a good work situation and don’t have as much to worry about on that front. But for other reasons it’s still not the easiest time. Philosophy is still dominated by the analytic/continental division, with the analytics controlling the most prestigious departments in the Anglophone world. For all their differences, both are deeply indebted in different ways to Kant and the resulting assumptions about transcendental philosophy, and of course that doesn’t work well for someone like me. One of the unusual features of OOO is that it tries to put objectobject relations at the same level as thought-object relations, and you’re not going to find that in any recent philosopher besides Whitehead. And Whitehead, too, is marginalized in both analytic and continental circles, for precisely this reason. There’s a modern taxonomy where object-object relations are thought to be the subject matter of the natural sciences alone. Hey, science is doing such a great job with that, just leave that area alone! We philosophers can focus on the sole site that is left to us: the �όγος THE GADFLY March 21, 2024 point where thought meets world. The problem is that for all the achievements of the sciences, Bertrand Russell was right to say that science gives us the extrinsic, relational properties of things. Anything intrinsic in the things, anything like the old “substantial forms,” has been a laughingstock in the sciences since at least Descartes. And maybe it’s good that they are, since science might not have flourished if it needed to deal with all sorts of shadowy and half-expressed potencies. But philosophia doesn’t work under the same constraints or have the same goals as natural science, because fundamentally it is not a form of knowledge. Most people still don’t accept this idea, but the nice thing is that you don’t need to convince everyone, or even a majority. If you keep refining your ideas and publishing them, allies will appear, and they make life easier and more pleasant. BS:Ê You have said that “a work should try to be more than the product of its time and place” (Architecture and Objects, 174). And based on what you just said, it seems like a lot of your work is almost extremely beyond the current place and time of philosophy in the United States. What do you feel has contributed to you taking such a different path than maybe a traditional philosopher within the United States? But I doubt I will ever teach again in a philosophy department in the United States. The reason is the conflict persisting between the analytic and continental schools of philosophy: both of them hang on jealousy to every job they control, and I’m not a good fit with either of them. This is evidently my fate, and gradually I’ve become comfortable about moving on an eccentric path through the world. BS: Did you ever have inklings of your current work while at SJC? GH: When you’re in your early twenties, it’s usually more a matter of devouring all your favorite influences. You might have ambitions about doing certain things in the future, but those are usually destined to change greatly over the next five to ten years. But there were a few things that happened at St. John’s that remain near the core of my work even now. One was during my freshman year in Santa Fe, when I was just browsing in the library. I was reading through the book Phenomenology and Art by Ortega y Gasset; I had been reading Ortega anyway for other reasons. That book contains his “Essay on Esthetics by Way of a Preface,” which contains his theory of metaphor. I didn’t fully GH:Ê It has certainly worked out that understand that essay until thinking it way, although it wasn’t my original over for nearly twenty years, but did wish. Coming out of St. John’s, I saw have the “struck by a lightning bolt” my future as that of a typical feel immediately upon reading it. philosophy professor in the Continental What’s strange is that it cuts against tradition. Because of my interests, I the grain of Ortega’s work as a whole, expected to fit in very well in the (Untitled (Black on Grey) by Mark and maybe that’s what I unconsciously Heidegger studies community in Rothko, Source: The Guggenheim felt. It's not a famous essay, but I particular. But then reality made it would rank it as one of the unknown Museum) philosophical classics of the twentieth clear that I was headed for different things, by clubbing me in the head several times. First of century, and believe it will come to be seen that way, all, graduate school roughed me up pretty badly. I was though it does contain a sexist remark and one or two antikicked around rudely in my first program. My second British remarks. program was a better fit, but there was some terroristic BS:ÊWhat program author have you gained the most from? behavior by a couple of faculty that forever shattered my illusions about academia. At least it was a fairly hands-off GH:ÊI did my freshman year in Santa Fe; my lab tutor was program and they let me do what I wanted. And I still Mr. Cornell, who is still there, and our student assistant loved my work, even though no one was really accepting was Mr. Poppele, now a tutor in his own right. I think Mr. it other than my fellow Ph.D. students, who enjoyed my Cornell had us read a bit of Discourse on Method one unorthodox papers and lectures. In a sense, the early week, and I was hooked, rereading it every couple of realization that I was never going to be a comfortable months despite being a slow reader. One author who student for my professors freed me up to stop expecting didn’t mean much to me while I was there, but who standard academic success and to do whatever I wanted. It became very important later on, was Hobbes. When I made me a bit angry for a while in my twenties, but once finally started writing about politics a decade ago, I began in Egypt I realized I was having a much more interesting to see Hobbes as an essential piece of the puzzle in trying life than those who had thwarted me, and decided to just to get beyond modern political theory, in which the Left and the Right both assume that human nature is what’s ride wherever the wave was going next. 13 �όγος THE GADFLY really at the basis of political theory. Hint: it’s not. Francis Bacon also didn’t interest me much as a student, but really fascinates me now, due to some remarks once made to me by Eric McLuhan, son of the media theorist Marshall McLuhan. I think I also had a bit of senioritis when we were doing Einstein and Minkowski in senior lab, so I eventually had to go back and struggle with those works myself when they became relevant to where I was going. And finally, I should mention the St. Matthew Passion. It blew me away on first hearing, and continues to do so. A couple of years ago the Hamburg Ballet passed through Los Angeles and performed it, and it brought back so many memories of Annapolis. BS: For all those in the dreadful state of being soon to graduate from the college, do you have recommendations for post-program reading? GH:Ê Yes, there are two obvious places to start. One is to read contemporary materials, which there isn’t much time to do at St. John’s except maybe in a Preceptorial. The late Mr. Raditsa, a former tutor in Annapolis and an almost unbelievably colorful human character, used to talk about how reading “forbidden” books is an important part of education, and in his case it was a matter of cutting class for a week and just reading Nietzsche in his dorm room. I think there are enough bibliophiles at St. John’s that we don’t really have forbidden books, though a classmate of mine was once scolded by a tutor for carrying a volume of Derrida across campus. But what I’m really talking about are non-program books. I ended up in an ultracontemporary Ph.D. program after St. John’s, which was probably the right way for me to decompress after four years of all classics. The great thing is, once you turn to contemporary trends in thought after four years at St. John’s, you will have the advantage of not being easily impressed. That brings me to another sort of recommendation, one that also stems from the unique features of a St. John’s education. One area in which Johnnies are practically unparalleled is their ability to take up new fields without feeling intimidated. If you’ve been through Apollonius and Leibniz’s papers on calculus, you won’t give up easily at any intellectual task. Continue to cultivate that Johnnie talent of picking up completely new fields and learning them through primary texts. I did that once with Islamic civilization after unexpectedly winding up in Cairo. I did it again with architecture, after unexpectedly ending up on an architecture faculty. My aforementioned Annapolis classmate David Ruy, whom I hadn’t spoken with in over twenty years since graduation, suddenly resurfaced to lure me into the architectural world. I asked him for a list of eight to ten books in both classical and contemporary architectural theory. After reading those, I was certainly no expert, but knew enough to follow conversations and 14 March 21, 2024 (Heydar Aliyev Center by Zaha Hadid Architects; Source: archdaily) understand the basic historical and present-day controversies in the field. These days I’m being lured into archaeology and prehistory, and hence the process is repeating itself. Any St. John’s student has the skills to pick up new fields from scratch and do interesting work in them. Learn a little, and you can discover that you want to learn more. There is nothing wrong with amateurism. Everyone is an amateur at most things. BS: Anything else? GH: I just want to say that enrolling at St. John’s was the best decision of my life and I would never change it. And I say so as someone who did not have an easy time as a student there. St. John’s is widely known as the Great Books School, but on the ground it is also the Great Talker’s School, and I wasn’t a great talker in those days. It was hard for me to find the right words in class quickly enough, and that caused a lot of anxiety. It wasn’t until years later that public speaking became easy for me. Graduate school wasn’t any easier than St. John’s, and graduate school politics are usually much worse. But I had formed great reading habits, as well as the self-confidence to argue in my mind (and eventually on paper) with any author you care to name. I think that is a common skill among St. John’s graduates, and it is priceless. (McDowell Hall Restored A er 1909 Fire; Source: St. John’s College) �όγος THE GADFLY March 21, 2024 I Love Montaigne! Do You? By Tamar Pinsky People are always telling me to stop writing in first person. “Third is more proper,” they say. In a book I read long ago, a character asserted that thirdperson narrators are objectively better, and that “the only good book in first person is Robinson Crusoe”; and now I am always ashamed of my preference for first person narrators. First person narrators feel more intimate. I can pretend that I am the narrator, or I can pretend that the narrator is a close friend revealing deep secrets to me. Either way, I find it easier to relate to books in first person. Is that not what we all want?—to relate to the books we read, to feel seen? Well—I suppose we also want to learn from the books we read. That must mean that books have two opposite goals to accomplish simultaneously—to be familiar to the reader, so that the reader relates, and to be strange to the reader, so that the reader learns something new. Is one goal for the sake of the other, is one goal more important than the other? Are we fed digestible content for the sake of acquiring unappetizing, but necessary, knowledge? Or are we fed the unfamiliar knowledge for the sake of increasing our capacities for connection? Furthermore, what should our intentions be when reading a book? Should we be aiming to relate or aiming to discover new information? One might think that it is good to relate to what one reads. What sticks with a reader the most is what resonated most with the reader. The reader also would get more out of a reading that agreed with them. It is evident how relatability encourages learning. But relatability also has the risk of making the reader not learn anything new at all. For if the reader feels too strong of a connection, they might become too comfortable and too close-minded, aligning the author’s words completely with their original worldview, and overlooking important, yet subtle differences. This risk does not mean that one should dismiss relatability entirely. For without relatability in a text, how would the reader latch onto any new concept? One might think it a weakness to desire relatability in books. (Similarly, to desire first -person narration.) One might think—a powerful enough mind should be able to understand ideas without being spoon-fed. But there is a difference between spelling out ideas and simply elucidating them. And besides, it is the job of a writer to deliver information clearly, is it not? We do not want writers to coddle us, but we would never praise them for giving us overly complicated explanations. 15 �όγος THE GADFLY Well, maybe some people would. But I would not. The seminar readings that stand out to me are the ones that spoke to me the most; the ones that I felt that I could understand, or at least try to. I imagine this is the case for most students – but of course, not every reading is going to elicit the same reaction in every student. Still – some readings must tend to be more relatable and more likable than others. After reading Montaigne’s essay On Experience, I could not help but wonder, is this one of them? Is everyone relating as much as I do? (This text is in first person.) So I took a (semi-randomi) poll. Out of 43 St. John’s students, nearly 50% found On Experience to be highly relatable, scoring a 4 on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 March 21, 2024 being “could not relate whatsoever” and 5 being “I feel so seen—it's like I wrote it myself!”). A fair number of students also ranked the work at 3, and a few ranked it as 5. Only 4 students ranked it a 2, and not one student ranked it a 1, or completely unrelatable. The average score: 3.7; the median: 4. Thus overall, the poll results suggest that On Experience is quite a favorite reading among St. John’s students. I feel both wonderful and rotten finding out that this reading resonated with so many others. On the one hand, I am glad that On Experience gets the recognition it deserves. On the other hand, I feel silly to have connected so personally with this essay, later realizing that I was not special in doing so. Montaigne accomplished something great in this essay. He managed to write to readers such that they feel a personal connection; at the same time, he wrote about ideas that are universal to everyone. I suppose that is what any writer wants to achieve— writing about a broad idea in a specific way, so that anyone can appreciate it; further, that anyone can feel touched by it. Perhaps Montaigne succeeded at attaining this feat because his work enables each reader to relate in a separate way. The reader can relate because Montaigne goes into detail regarding natural processes that everyone goes through—but everyone goes through them differently, and so they can understand Montaigne through their own readercolored lenses. Every reader receives a similar, but slightly different version of Montaigne. This notion comforts me—even though other people took immense pleasure in reading On Experience just as I did, each of us had our own personal connection with Montaigne. What Montaigne is to me is not what Montaigne is to you. I know this to be true, given some of the responses people gave in the survey. Among other titles, people called Montaigne “a very interesting fellow,” “the realest one out there,” “such a girl’s girl, senile bestie,” “literally me,” and “just a drunk dude you meet at a bar and then never see again.” I This survey was conducted via Instagram and SJC email. Portrait of Michel de Montaigne (Source: Wikimedia Commons) 16 �υμπόσιον THE GADFLY A Demonstration of the Equivalence of Euclid’s Fi h Postulate, Proposition I.30, and Playfair’s Axiom March 21, 2024 2. Playfair’s Axiom. Through any point not on a given straight line there is at most one straight line parallel to the given line. By Luke Briner I. Expositions. 1. The Fifth Postulate. [Let it have been demanded (Ηιτήσθω)] that, if a straight line falling on two straight lines make the interior angles on the same side less than two right angles, the two straight lines, if produced indefinitely (ἄπειρον), meet on that side on which are the angles less than the two right angles. Let the straight line EF fall on straight lines AB and CD, whose respective interior angles, G and H, amount to less than two right angles. The Postulate asserts that, if lines AB and CD are produced indefinitely, they will eventually meet on the side of angles G and H. Let there be produced the straight line AB, with points C, F, and I placed in arbitrary positions about it but not upon it. The Postulate asserts that points C, F, I, and any other possible points of the same supposed nature, will each have no more than a single straight line through them that will be parallel to AB (i.e., DE for C, GH for F, and JK for I). 3. Proposition I.30. Straight lines parallel to the same straight line are also parallel to one another. Let straight lines AB and CD be parallel to straight line EF, with straight line GK falling upon each of them. The Proposition asserts that, since AB and CD are both parallel to EF, and since the line GK falling upon them produces equal angles on each of them to those produced on EF, then AB and CD themselves must be parallel to each other. 17 �υμπόσιον THE GADFLY II. Equivalences. 1. Equivalence of the First and the Second. A. From the First to the Second. The Fifth Postulate asserts that if any two straight lines are shown by their mutual intersection by a third straight line to have combined interior angles amounting to less than two right angles, then those lines, when indefinitely extended, will meet in the direction of those sub-supplementary angles. That any two straight lines that admit of this nature (i.e., their eventual intersection upon the basis of their subsupplementary angles) are not parallel is clear from Euc. Book I, Def. 23, which defines parallel lines precisely by their non-admittance of that very nature. But it follows necessarily from this that there can only be a single parallel relation between two straight lines, since there is only one position in which they could be arranged that would allow their interior angles to be exactly equal to two right angles. Again, even the slightest deviation from this single position implies (when cut by the third line) the subsupplementary sum of one side’s interior angles, and thus to the eventual intersection of the two lines on that side. And this is exactly what the Parallel Postulate itself asserts. Thus it has been shown that the assertion of the Second can be arrived at by the premises established by the First. B. From the Second to the First. Playfair’s Axiom asserts that there is at most a single straight line that can be drawn through any given point parallel to a given straight line. This implies that any other position that the straight line drawn through any given point could take in relation to the given straight line will not be parallel. Euclid defines parallel straight lines as “straight lines which, being in the same plane and being produced indefinitely in both directions, do not meet one another in either direction” (Def. 23). It follows necessarily from this that any straight lines that are not parallel to each other (i.e., any other position which the line through any given point could take in relation to the given straight line) will meet one another in at least one direction, and presumably thereby that those two lines, if mutually and evenly cut by another straight line, will have one side whose interior angles do not amount to two right angles, which indicates that they will meet on that side. And this is exactly what the 18 March 21, 2024 Fifth Postulate itself asserts. Thus it has been shown that the assertion of the First can be arrived at by the premises established by the Second. 2. Equivalence of the First and the Third. A. From the First to the Third. The Fifth Postulate asserts that if any two straight lines are shown by their mutual intersection by a third straight line to have combined interior angles amounting to less than two right angles, then those lines, when indefinitely extended, will meet in the direction of those sub-supplementary angles. This implies that straight lines that do not so meet, i.e., whose interior angles are exactly equal to two right angles, are parallel, since this is precisely the condition for parallel lines set by Def. 23. It follows necessarily from this that, since “[t]hings which are equal to the same things are also equal to one another” (C.N. 1), and that all parallel lines have interior angles exactly equal to two right angles, all straight lines parallel to the same straight line must also be parallel to each other. And this is exactly what Proposition I.30 itself asserts. Thus it has been shown that the assertion of the Third can be arrived at by the premises established by the First. B. From the Third to the First. Proposition I.30 asserts that straight lines parallel to the same straight line are also parallel to each other. This implies, by Def. 23, that no lines thus understood as parallel will ever meet each other. It follows necessarily from this that straight lines that are not parallel will meet each other in at least one direction, and presumably thereby that those straight lines, if mutually and evenly cut by another straight line, will have one side whose interior angles do not amount to two right angles, and that they will meet on that side. And this is exactly what the Fifth Postulate itself asserts. Thus it has been shown that the assertion of the First can be arrived at by the premises established by the Third. 3. Equivalence of the Second and the Third. Since the conceptual equivalence of the Fifth Postulate and Playfair’s Axiom has been proven, we know by Euc. C.N. 1 that Playfair’s Axiom and Proposition I.30 will also be conceptually equivalent. �όλις THE GADFLY March 21, 2024 Secret Societies By Jack Webb Secret societies are neat. So why aren’t there any at St. John’s? The accidents of the College seem to fit. It is well known that many people come to St. John’s after reading The Secret History by Donna Tartt in high school and deciding that it is more interesting than real life. The pedagogy of the College is not gnostic, but it is esoteric: what it purports to teach is taken to be unavailable to everyone except those who have the time and ability to discover it for themselves. The College is also exceptionally old, and well-attended by the wealthy. The French Monument was erected in memory of some of Lafayette’s troops once buried on the grounds.ÊThere are persistent rumors of hauntings and secret passages. Annapolis has the only surviving Baroque city plan in the United States, consisting of two wheels with overlapping spokes, St. Anne’s Church and the State House serving as the hubs. (The priorities of the planners are thus manifest.) Most of the founders of the College were Freemasons. Altogether, the school is wellpositioned for secular, liberal, elitist, secret activity. On the other hand, it may be that the College is too small to have effective secret societies. The Skull and Bones at Yale, one of the most famous and successful collegiate secret societies in the United States, selects fifteen new members every year. Yale has an undergraduate population of about 6,500, meaning the proportion of “Bonesmen” to undergraduates is about 1 to 450. If this is the most perspicuous proportion for a secret society, a St. John’s society could have no more than one or two members. The society of lovers is secret in a way, so St. John’s perhaps already has enough. It does not seem to be the same sort of thing, though: lovers rarely swear blood oaths, and the costumes are of a different kind. Maybe the College as a whole is a secret society. We are probably not that special, though. I may have discovered a secret society last year. I believe that they have, or had, regular meetings. It was a group of about twenty men, predominantly class of ’25. I do not know what their télos was; all I know is that they had gathered to eat cheap fried chicken in malappointed suits and ties. They were clearly a group of a private nature, although I am not certain that they were properly a secret society, because they seemed humdrum and not exotic at all. I will not say any more about what I saw, or who was present, for fear of retribution. I myself am starting a secret society. It will come together as soon as we have finished our inquiry into the nature and ends of a collegiate secret society. Obviously I cannot share any more details. The membership will remain secret. I will not divulge whether I am a member. 19 �THE GADFLY όλις March 21, 2024 Paradox Puns By Tamar Pinsky “Parrotox” “Parrot, Ox” “Pair o’ Docs” 20 �όλις THE GADFLY March 21, 2024 Come For Me, Vol. 1 By Allyson Brink This girl got way too into something she has never had…an orgasm. While in pursuit of my first orgasm, many questions arose. For answers I turned to my friends. I’ve asked these questions in my friends’ living rooms and in laboratory prep rooms; the resulting conversations have been both hilarious and enlightening. I also realized that I wasn’t the only one of my friends who hadn’t had an orgasm. This is when I decided St. John’s was in desperate need of a Carrie Bradshaw. --Over the summer I submitted the first of four payments on a new vibrator. This vibrator measures your vaginal contractions and connects by Bluetooth to an app on your phone. It would then tell you how often and how strongly your vagina contracted as you masturbated. This data is displayed in a graph that clearly spikes when you have an orgasm. After using the vibrator and comparing my graph to ones of orgasms, my suspicions were confirmed: I have never had an orgasm. Annelise has orgasmed. In order to better understand my own experiences, I asked her some questions about her experiences with orgasm. AB: Do you masturbate manually, with a vibrator, or some combination of the two? AI: I prefer a manual approach. I’ve dabbled in vibrators, but I find that they don’t really please me, the way I can myself. AB: Why don’t you find that vibrators please you? AI: I think they’re just too powerful from the beginning. There’s no buildup, no tension, no intrigue. AB: How long does it usually take you to orgasm? AI: For me, about 30 minutes…but I am on antidepressants. AB: How long do your orgasms usually last? AI: About 30 seconds. The Lioness Smart Vibrator (Source: Glamour.com) builds up, and then, it—whoom. AB: Do you watch porn when you masturbate? AI: Um, I prefer to read erotica. But, if I do watch porn, it’s usually lesbian. AB: What type of erotica do you read? AI: Girl, I don’t even know. Whatever trash is on the internet probably. AB: And you don’t find it too much for your hands to be scrolling and masturbating? AI: No, it’s like what else would I do with the other hand? AB: I guess maybe I’m just lazy. AB: Have you ever orgasmed with someone else? AI: No. From my experience that’s not really a man’s place. AB: Do you have any more words of wisdom for me in my road to orgasm? AI: Wisdom? I don’t have any wisdom. Just my hands. AB: And how do they feel for those 30 seconds? AI: Overpowering…it just feels like a wave, like it 21 �όλις THE GADFLY March 21, 2024 Liberal Arts as a Service By B.S. Dearest fellows, Take a moment to imagine for me the agonies of the rich and wealthy: they amass more wealth, more power, more new toys with each passing moment. Where will they put their new rocket ships? What is there to talk about with the common person (they refuse to understand the need for a private jet)? Who will even befriend them (they cannot stand each other)? They may well be the most well off, healthiest, most powerful individuals ever, but being amongst the oligarchs of late-stage capitalism has its agonies: it do get kinda lonely sometimes. Now, I need not remind you of the corresponding agonies of a Johnnie: where once we were considered useless by every business and engineering major, now almost every degree will be useless in the face of AI (we have lost our unique absurdity!). Soon, there will be computers which can write better, read better, speak better, think better than any of us. Only our soft SJC-essence will remain (and it smells of…Bud Lite?). In these two sets of woes, you might see an image of modernity or a gap so vast that it is meaningless to think of both sides as human, but what I see is a business opportunity. Rich people are lonely; we are pseudo-intellectual blabber mouths. The solution for both sides is simple: Rent-aJohnnie. The structure is obvious to anyone who can think: go on our easy to use website (auto-generated by SquareSpace [This segment is sadly not sponsored]), select your desired topics of conversation (from the Freudian nature of early cell biology to the Platonic reasons for non-platonic relationships), and bam, within two hours we will send straight to your door a willing and able proliferator of all useless ideas. Everything you say will find its place amongst citations of Hegel and 22 Kant, will be the most profound ideas since Aristotle, and will outclass even Dante in poetry. When you sit us down to explain your new screenplay, entirely original and without any of that AI generated crap, we will nod, applaud, and moan (with agony, pleasure, oh whatever you want). Remember, you’re no dictator. You’re a totally normal human being who didn’t have any systemic advantages whatsoever and even if you did you worked so very hard to get here. So why should the dictators be the only ones to get their very own state philosophers? Plus, we’re providing them at a very reasonable rate. Rent-a-Johnnie: We Make Expensive Men by Means of a Balance and Checkbook. Consider investing today. —B.S. (is for hire) Rent-a-Johnnie Seal by Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm; Latin Mo o translated by Henry David Hills �όλις THE GADFLY March 21, 2024 Photograph of Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini (Source: Wikipedia) A Review of Cabrini (2024) By Jack Webb Cabrini tells the story of St. Frances Xavier Cabrini, an Italian nun who came to the United States at the turn of the century to minister to underserved immigrants. It is pretty good. Very, very well-shot. Story is moving. Acting a little stiff, except for the Archbishop. Child actors are good, as far as they go. Mother Cabrini doesn’t seem to pray very much, weird for a nun. Very bad song after the credits, make sure to listen to it. Pretty long, but not boring. It seems to be of the new genre of decent movies made for the tastes of conservative Christians. It is not itself conservative, or particularly Christian, but homeschooling families will love it. If you like immigrants, children, or nuns, you might like this movie. (PG13, 142 min.) 23 �THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, staff, and alumni of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and thought provoking newsmagazine. Submissions sent to the Gadfly should either be in Google Docs or PDF format. For more information, contact us via email at lbriner@sjc.edu. 60 COLLEGE AVENUE ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 Photographs without a listed source are from the St. John's College Digital Archives. St. John's College owns the rights to these photographs. Illustrations without a listed source are by Takashi Mifune from Irasutoya.com and are free to use for non-commercial purposes. All rights to these illustrations still belong to the artist. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 24 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XLV, Issue 8 Description An account of the resource Volume XLI, Issue 8 of The Gadfly. Published March 21, 2024. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Briner, Luke (Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2024-03-21 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource College students' writings--Periodicals College student newspapers and periodicals St. John's College--Periodicals Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly Vol XLV Issue 8 Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/c975a9f1eb28808641bd44b9361c1f9b.pdf 32e30ae785a2c45f86db1fcaad9b1cc3 PDF Text Text THE St. John’s College Annapolis, Maryland BADFLY The (Anti-Naval) GOAT April 22, 2024 Vol. XLV, Issue 9 �CONTENTS Not-Quites by Pamar Tinsky 3 A Review of All the non-Dorm Bathrooms on Campus, ‘cause Someone’s Gotta Do It -- for the George Costanza in All of Us by Pamar Tinsky 4 Class Analysis from the 1896 Rat Tat SJC Yearbook 7 Wear To Go: Fashion Musings to Carry Along With You by Pamar Tinsky 8 THE GADFLY STAFF COVER EDITOR-IN-CHIEF DukeÊPickleman MANAGING EDITOR ENKÊ(EnigmaticÊ NobleÊKing) MonkeyÊ#1 STAFF i made this at four in the morning during writing period by Gatalie Noldman 10 The Man Behind the Initials: An Exclusive, Tell-All Interview with B.S. by Nl’ad Kichols-Eaufman and S.B. 11 Let’s Play: Spot That Tutor arranged by Rosemary the goat 14 The Game of Getting Through St. John’s College 16 USNAÊInfiltrationÊ SquadÊPressÊAgency PinkneyÊÊPooper B.S.’sÊRitualÊGiraffe MonkeyÊ#2 SJCÊDigitalÊ Archives YOUT RosemaryÊ(theÊ GOAT—literally) None CONTRIBUTORS (you’veÊdoneÊ groupÊprojects,Ê youÊknowÊhowÊ theyÊgo) Letter from the (Layout) Editor: Happy April! Hopefully this edition of the Badfly gives you a good laugh and puts a smile on your face. - Rosemary the GOAT MortimerÊJ.ÊAdlerÊLaughingÊwithÊaÊGroupÊofÊStudents A Brief News Report After lengthy efforts, the USNA Infiltration Squad, our most valuable underground club, has succeeded in breeding an intelligent goat capable of acting as a spy (pictured on front cover). This goat, codenamed Rosemary, will be raised with the best education we can offer to prepare for her mighty task. She will be trained in cutting edge intelligence gathering techniques, covert communications, and a full course of human languages (though she’ll have to learn to speak Midshipmanese before she learns any of those). In order to complete her disguise as a male goat, she will have her horns replaced with larger artificial ones (packed to the brim with state of the art surveillance equipment). When Rosemary is ready, she will be sent to the USNA goat selection competition, where she will outperform all other normal goats (thanks to some well placed bribes and a vigorous course of steroids) to become the next Bill the Goat. From her position as USNA mascot, she will feed SJC all necessary information to at last overthrow the tyranny of the Navy and establish Johnnie supremacy across all of Annapolis. 2 �THE BADFLY Find little laughs here! April 22, 2024 Not-Quites These are not quite jokes, not quite anythings; I’m not quite sure what they are. But they ought to get a little chuckle out of ya. 1. Product idea: banana peels with little bumps on them, so that you can prank your friends by putting a banana peel in their path, but avoid being too mean, for they won’t actually slip and fall, thanks to the bumps. 2. New ways of asking if someone is a dog person or a cat person—are you a dog person or are you a both person? Do you hate cats or do you like them? 3. Did you hear about the new hair regrowth method that uses electricity? It’s called hair plugs. 4. What do you call a caterpillar that chomps leaves into little chopped salads? A Catererpillar. 5. How do colorblind people know when to stop eating a slice of watermelon? That’s what the little white in between part is for. 6. He “lied through his teeth”—as if teeth are some sort of filter that only lets true statements pass! 7. How do you wash a baseball cap? 8. Someone who fears the paranormal and has poor spice tolerance would not like ghost peppers... 9. Tables are lonely because all the chairs have friends :( 10. The Littlest Sweat Shop! A sewing kit for children. 3 �3 guys walk into a bar... THE BADFLY April 22, 2024 A Review of All the non-Dorm Bathrooms on Campus, ‘cause Someone’s Go a Do It -- for the George Costanza in All of Us Determining the best bathroom is not an exact science; it is complicated, often subjective, not to mention crude. At the same time, bathroom information is useful information. How else will you know where to go? There are many different uses for bathrooms, and therefore many different criteria for telling what makes a bathroom great. I came up with eleven categories of criteria. Then I assigned each a number of points. The bathroom to follow the most criteria – and therefore have the most points – ought to be the most satisfactory. Here are the criteria (with certain specifics elucidated upon) and the total possible points a bathroom could be awarded for each category: 1. Convenience of location (near classrooms or not, near a water fountain or not) – 3 points 2. Privacy of stalls (size of cracks at the bottom, 4 size of cracks at the side, OR single stall) – 3 points 3. Likelihood of being not crowded – 3 points 4. Water quality (automatic or not, reliability of sensor, temperature, pressure) – 4 points 5. Soap quality (automatic or not, reliability of sensor, reliability of there being soap, good or bad type of soap) – 4 points 6. Paper towel quality (automatic or not, reliability of sensor, quiet or loud sound) – 3 points 7. Stall doors quality (open in or out, quality of lock, whether there is a coat hook) – 3 points 8. Ease of flushing – 2 points 9. Sufficient trash cans – 2 points 10. Inclusivity (regarding gender, regarding people with disabilities) – 2 points 11. Hand sanitizer – 1 point �… the 4th one ducks. THE BADFLY Therefore the total possible number of points, resulting in the perfect bathroom, is 30 points. Are higher point numbers directly correlated to better bathrooms? According to the ratings, the non-dorm bathrooms from best to worst are: 1. Mellon (single) with 22 points or 73.33% satisfaction 2. BBC (single) with 20.5 points or 68.33% satisfaction 3. Coffeeshop AND Library (single) tied with 19 points or 63.33% satisfaction 4. Dining hall with 17.75 points or 59.17% satisfaction 5. McDowell with 17.25 points or 57.50% satisfaction 6. Mellon (back hall) with 17 points or 56.67% satisfaction 7. Mellon (Mitchell museum adjacent) with 16.5 points or 55.00% satisfaction 8. BBC with 16.25 points or 54.17% satisfaction 9. Gym with 15 points or 50.00% satisfaction 10. Mellon (2nd floor) 14.5 points or 48.33% satisfaction 11. Mellon (Hodson room adjacent) with 12 points or 40.00% satisfaction April 22, 2024 Upon reflection, some of these ratings make sense while others do not. Where does the problem lie? I think there are three main flaws with the analysis: 1. Other criteria were left out – forgotten (I can’t believe I forgot toilet paper!), avoided for the sake of not insulting maintenance staff, or difficult to put into words and quantify 2. A laxity in record taking on my own part 3. A conflictingness between certain criteria This last flaw is crucial. For I could not help but wonder why it seemed that the bathroom near the Hodson room was never without a visitor, despite it having next to no privacy, broken locks, manual water that is easily too hot, and soap only sometimes. But the answer was obvious – it came down to the convenient location. People do not use the Hodson room bathrooms because they are nice; rather, because they are in a rush. Would it have made sense then, to allot more points to conveniency of location, given how much importance people clearly give to it? But then one runs into another problem – the more convenient a bathroom is, the more likely it is to be crowded. Whereas the uncrowded single bathrooms are less convenient. 5 �Broken pencils... THE BADFLY Therefore it seems there are two main purposes for bathrooms – quick places for when you are in a hurry, and private places when you need some more time. Perhaps it was a tad foolish to lump the two together to find the ultimate bathroom, when really there ought to be two ultimate bathrooms – one for convenience, and one for comfortability. If one removes the points of convenience of location from the ranking, then the highest scoring bathroom is the Mellon single bathroom. If one only looks at convenience of location, then the highest scoring bathroom is the Mellon Hodson room adjacent bathroom. Two very different bathrooms. But is it impossible to try and find some middle ground? Maybe not. One bathroom, though not visibly liked in the ranking system, has been found to be a student favorite. While not super convenient, it is not terribly far from many classrooms. It is relatively private, it always has soap, it has a crowdedness rating of 1.5 out of 3 – it is the back hallway new Mellon bathroom. The only complaint about this bathroom is that it can be cold. According to freshman Nathan Zewdie, this bathroom is “pretty great.” It was with Zewdie’s help, as well as that of senior Stephaun Turner, that I was able to include the men’s bathrooms’ ratings. The ratings displayed in the above charts are averages of the women’s and men’s bathroom scores – often the two scores would mirror each other, but a few held stark differences. For example, the men’s bathroom in the dining hall has a crack in the wall; this is not an issue in the women’s bathroom. Another difficult men’s bathroom situation is in McDowell, where there is only a single bathroom that they can use. On the plus side, it has a changing table! Zewdie and Turner elucidated upon the sorts of “personalities” some of the bathrooms presented, supplementing my point system with their observations. My quanitifcation falls short of considering perhaps the most important factor in what makes a bathroom satisfactory: vibes -- which is where Zewdie and Turner come in. Therefore, combining their nuanced evaluations with my calibrated assessing ought to determine the true winner of the title of Best Bathroom. Starting with the BBC – they seemed to like this bathroom, and Turner noted that it satisfied many of the criteria – but Zewdie remarked that it had the “personality of a brick.” Therefore, although the BBC bathroom is not reflected terribly in my ratings, it 6 April 22, 2024 appears that it would not be anyone’s first choice, most likely. Similarly, the bathroom near the Mitchell museum, while being neither highly or lowly rated, was deemed to have the personality of “a man in a suit.” I took this to mean that it was formal and nice, but perhaps a bit too much so for ideal comfortability. Turner found the bathrooms near the Hodson room to be despicable, as they had hand sanitizer dispensers that dispensed soap instead. The gym bathroom had an apt description -“personality of a bro.” The coffeeshop was found to be quite favorable, fairly aligning with its rating on the point system. The most positive reaction they had was regarding the single bathrooms in Mellon. However, they were concerned about expressing this sentiment, for fear that these bathrooms would start being used by too many people. Therefore the contenders for best bathroom are the coffeeshop and the bathrooms in the back hallway of Mellon – third place and sixth(!) place on my list. It is interesting that the winning bathrooms are more average; moreover, their averageness may be an advantage. For they are only somewhat convenient such that one does not have to go way out of their way to use them, but they are not right next to any classrooms. And thus, they are never extremely crowded, and they reliably have soap. By not being perfectly convenient nor perfectly private, these bathrooms manage to be a satisfactory middle ground. Maybe this is to say, that even regarding bathrooms, moderation is the way to go. Unless, of course, you have to drop a deuce. �April 22, 2024 THE BADFLY … are pointless. ClassÊAnalysis,ÊfromÊtheÊ1896ÊRatÊTatÊ SJCÊYearbook SourcedÊfromÊtheÊSJCÊDigitalÊArchives 7 �Why don’t hedgehogs... THE BADFLY Wear To Go FashionÊMusingsÊtoÊ CarryÊAlongÊWithÊYou The tragedy of Hamlet tells many meaningful messages about honor and revenge, and it also sneaks in a message about the importance of clothing. Polonius imparts wise words of wisdom to his son, Laertes: “for the apparel oft proclaims the man.” There is certainly truth in that statement – the clothes we wear impact how others perceive us, as well as influence our own perceptions of ourselves. Professional clothing may even lead us to act more professionally. (Think again before wearing sweats to seminar!) I was considering this idea of our clothing communicating a message to others, in tandem with the rest of the ways we present ourselves. How much of a difference does clothing really make? An idea came to my mind – and the problem is, I could have sworn that I read about it in a book, or in a study, but I searched and searched and could not find it. Forgive me, you will have to rely on my fuzzy memory. The text I had read gave a limitation to the influence of clothing, and did so by considering overthe-top outfits, be they unconventional or overly spiffy. Researchers had found that the same clothing could both help or hinder the wearer. For a very intelligent person, a strange outfit adds to the 8 April 22, 2024 character of an eccentric genius. Whereas for a not so smart person, such clothing enhances a persona of simpleminded oddball. Combining the ideas of “the apparel proclaims the man” and “clothes can help or hinder,” I have come across a new theory of clothing, as displayed in the graphs below. AlmostÊDirectÊCorrelationÊBetweenÊDressingÊSmartÊ andÊLookingÊSmartÊ(GeniusesÊareÊtheÊexception) This first graph represents the perception people have of those wearing “normal, put-together but not trying too hard” clothing, ranging from not smart people to very smart people. As you can see in the graph, dressing this way increases what others think of you, unless you are a genius, in which case, there’s not much that this type of clothing will do for you. IfÊYouÊThinkÊYouÊFallÊatÊtheÊRight-MostÊSide,ÊYou'reÊ ProbablyÊatÊtheÊLe Ê This second graph represents the perception people have of those wearing “strange, shabby, or �… just share the hedge?? THE BADFLY over the top” clothing, ranging again from not smart people to very smart people. As you can see in the graph, dressing this way will hurt your appearance drastically if you are not smart, and it will hurt you somewhat if you are of average intelligence, and it will do wonders for you if you are of brilliant brains. Thus, there are four types of people – those who are smart in both mind and attire, those who are smart in mind but not attire, those who are smart in attire but not in mind, and finally, those who are neither smart in mind nor attire. One question remains – which one are you? Answer the multiple-choice questions below to find out which category you fall under – let's call them “smart,” “eccentric,” “dandy,” and “fool.” April 22, 2024 Questions: 1. It’s seminar night. What are you wearing? a. My favorite corduroy pants. b. Whatever shirt I put on this morning. c. Purple tie! Purple shoes! d. The same hoodie I always wear. 2. Which scenario do you find yourself in the most? a. Someone repeats the point you made ten minutes ago. b. That kid across the room is furiously nodding at you as you speak. c. You go on for a lovely two minutes only to get silence in response. d. Someone goes to the bathroom just when you were planning on leaving the room. 3. You get most excited about... a. My oral! I think I’ll wear my argyle tie. b. The new math paper I got assigned. c. Plans to go thrifting later! d. Bedtime 4. What do you think your tutors think about you? a. They probably like me; I’m a decent student. b. I hope they aren’t annoyed at me always interrupting them. c. Have they noticed that I always remember to wear pink on Wednesdays? d. There was that joke I made that one time – they must think I’m the bee’s knees. 5. The kind of compliments you get are... a. Nice sweater! b. Did you do the language homework yet? c. You look so cute today! d. What’s your last name again? Count up all your letters! If you got mostly as, you are a Smart Johnny. If you got mostly bs, you are an Eccentric Johnny. If you got mostly cs, you are a Dandy Johnny. And finally, if you got mostly ds, sorry to break it to you, but you are a Fool Johnny. 9 �I can give you anaphylytic... THE BADFLY April 22, 2024 iÊmadeÊthisÊatÊfourÊinÊtheÊmorningÊduringÊwritingÊperiod Shingled canvas, black as dawn, Hangs on that insidious wall In the great room, Surrounded by countless other Bawdy depictions of hazy summers And young Edwardian women in curls. Every inch of space is diseased By a mess of line, shape, or color. Luckily, the foyer is much more Pleasing to the eye, With its fleur-de-lis wallpaper And oak-framed silver mirror. How much more respectable it is To have a nice place to observe One’s complexion or teeth Or to run a comb through one’s hair Than to stand in that dreaded dark room And be forced to examine oneself. The Annapolis Cat Strangler Johnnies…lock up your furry friends. There’s a cat-astrophic criminal on the loose. Far from a simple cat burglar, something—or someone—is decimating the feral cat population of Annapolis. Freshmen this year have hardly reported any cat sightings around town. Ms. Berthel (’27), who consistently takes long walks around the area, asks her fellow students to “Think about it, when’s the last time you saw a cat?” This shocking lack of felines may not be entirely coincidental. In fact, some have even suggested that there’s a purr-petrator behind this madness. The corpses of unfortunate cats with evidence of strangulation wounds have been found strewn about Annapolis alleyways. Witnesses include artists from the Dapper Dog tattoo studio, and they’ve taken it 10 upon themselves to alert the local population to anything out of place. Local police have also been following this strange case, and so far, no humans have been harmed. However, these happenings leave many students worried. Although some were skeptical at first, a quick google search has thankfully convinced them otherwise. When pressed about his view of the situation, Mr. Hodges (’27) worriedly exclaimed, “That’s serial killer behavior!” and assures that he is “going to lock [his] doors tonight.” Unfortunately, this news along with the stress of essay writing period has caused undue stress to some members of the polity. Once the juniors were alerted to the alarming mew-s, an anonymous student let out a desperate cry of “I just Kant take it anymore!” and collapsed prone onto the floor of Mellon 141. To all the cats out there, stay safe, and to the rest of the Polity, it is my most sincere hope that after this clawful human being is thrown in jail, we’ll all be more relaxed and finally feline fine. �… shock in a nutshell. THE BADFLY April 22, 2024 The Man Behind the Initials: An Exclusive, Tell-All Interview with B.S. Pictured:ÊTheÊconfrontation Everyone on campus knows B.S. That is to say, everyone on campus who reads the Gadfly, which is everyone who matters. He has built himself as a campus legend, with irreverent satire of dubious quality, questionably philosophical interviews, and a general ability to dedicate far too much of his time to comic bits. This, of course, is the B.S. we all know. But what’s he really like, behind the curtain? Why does he do it? Who does he work for? Why’s he so handsome and amazing and smart and cool and definitely not rewriting this section of his own interview? The desire to answer these questions, and many others, leaves much of the polity in a sleepless anxiety. Maybe that’s just me, though. This month, I finally got the chance to fulfill this desire, although unfortunately with only two Gadflies left in the year, I was forced to include this serious article in the otherwise satirical Badfly. I met with B.S. on a warm afternoon in late March, in the Fishbowl. He immediately struck me as a dramatic figure, his turtleneck sweater and overly tight and short pants accentuating his lengthy proportion. His face, weathered by four years at St. John’s, showed the characteristic weariness of the senior, but his eyes, those brilliant eyes, maintained a spark of life seen in very few of our Johnnies. He was occupied when I arrived, digitally arranging countless small photographs of himself on top of a larger photograph, also of himself. He reluctantly tore himself from that pleasant task, and rose to greet me. We then adjourned to the vernal air of the Mellon Courtyard. What follows is an accurate transcript of our conversation. El’ad Nichols-Kaufman: To start off, there’s something that’s very perplexing to me, and I think perplexes most other people who know you. You could have had a perfectly good computer science career by now if you had stayed at ASU, and instead you’ve doomed yourself to Starbucks and adjunct lecturer positions. Why are you here? B.S. You know El’ad, I’ve spent a long time contemplating this question myself. I think, as in all things, I was guided by the multifariousness of my rather startling mind. There are three reasons that average men might begin to comprehend. First, ASU is known 11 �A psychic dwarf escaped... THE BADFLY as a party school, but what parties do they really have? They drink, they do drugs, they scream their fading youth into the dark abyss which comes for all our days. They know nothing of real parties. I came to SJC because our festivities are necessarily more bacchic, more inexplicable, more intense by the mere fact that that person over there doing cocaine off of someone else’s chest is not some random guy you’ll never see again, but a man who’s in your lab class that you’ll see in two days, slowly adding information to a file that contains his entire life though you’ve only spoken to each other once and only with moderate sexual tension. So I came for the parties. [Editor’s note: BS spent the last party at his house locked in his room, ailing with a migraine and doing exactly nothing interesting. Coward.] Second, I wanted to destroy myself. People going to a large research university cannot comprehend the simple need to annihilate all the work that your loving and kind parents put into you as a human being, leaving little more than a shell filled with Platonism and a vague memory of Greek paradigms. Third, I was brought here by the fear of God, which guides all wise men. E.N.K. How do you manage to write so much? What are you on, and can I have some? April 22, 2024 no one else know about this? This is the first formal announcement we’ve had. I am the nepotism candidate, and I own up to it. The DC is a corrupt institution. Do you know why I got appointed? It’s because I know people like you. You, sir, are the problem. I am the anti-corruption corruption candidate. When Adam Powers, the most virtuous of men and politicians, was removed from the council for dubious reasons of “not showing up to meetings” and “wanting to be removed from the DC,”I saw into the political soul of this institution. And you know what I saw? I saw rot. And you know what’s even worse? This corrupt political institution has gotten to another one of our beloved philosopher kings, Marshall Cooperman, forcing him to resign. Now, I have lodged a formal legal complaint with Ms. Helen Felbek, the so-called “Polity Attorney” and apparently sole arbiter of justice at this college. What has been the nature of my complaint? Nowhere in the constitution establishing the DC does it say that one person cannot hold two delegate positions. Ms. Felbek and the powers that be, including you yourself, Mr. Nichols-Kaufman, are attempting to block my being elected to a second delegate position that I might carry on the great legacy of the class of 2024 till the very end. I turn now to the people of this great college and plea to them: look at this tyranny, at this corruption. First, they appoint me without even announcing it to the polity, then—and so much the worse—they attempt to take away our Godgiven American right to interpret the constitution in the most wild ways we can justify. I ask, nay, I beg every caring member of the polity to speak to their class delegates and anyone else on the DC that they might know and tell them simply: make BS the double delegate. If we let the corrupt political institutions silence us here in the name of “Common Sense,” they shall soon take away far greater liberties. B.S. My writing process is not for the weak. I begin with a ritual purification involving [answer shortened for length] Then you must get the giraffe, the giraffe is essential, as they are the one true being. [answer shortened for length] Which made me ask myself, who the hell is Bill Clinton to tell me about my relationship with religious figures? [answer shortened for length] The cold will get to you. It gets to everyone. But the truly artistic soul must endure. [answer shortened for length] My preference is for Bionicles. There’s something truly revelatory in the way they can move, can stare into your soul. [answer shortened for length] Had my first experience with sleep paralysis recently, but the demons were just my classmates. It did wonders So the real answer, Mister secretary of the St. B.S.ÊHimself for my psyche. [answer shortened for length] John’s College Delegate Council, if that’s what Then I get to thinking about my daddy issues, of course and you really are, the power has gotten to your head. And I want some naturally leading me back to The Beatles’ classic song “Yellow of it. Submarine,” which I have had playing on repeat this whole time, E.N.K. Moving right along, (uncomfortable chuckle) a recent though only now is it clear amongst the sound of giraffes, Bill statistical survey of the Gadfly articles from the past year showed Clinton speeches, and my own screams. [answer shortened for that nearly half of them are by you. What do you have to say about length] Which, all in all, takes me about 2 hours, 27 minutes, 39 that? seconds. So, really, I think anyone can do it. Even you, El’ad. E.N.K. You’ve recently been appointed to the Delegate Council. Has power gone to your head? B.S. I think the real question people should be asking is, why does 12 B.S. Let me take you back. Not many of you may be able to believe this, but there was a time where I did not write for the Gadfly. It was a dark age a year and a half ago. I saw that [something happens here, B.S. speaking slower] well…we have a great campus community and �… small medium at large. THE BADFLY I saw that my friends and people I knew weren’t all that enthused about the Gadfly, even though it’s the voice of that community, so I wanted to inspire people to write really entertaining stuff for it and actually get involved, which honestly I’ve probably failed at, maybe even made worse and… sorry [the aggressive glimmer returns to B.S.’s eyes]. The Gadfly was in a dark age. So I saved it. Simple as that. E.N.K. On the topic of your apartment, while doing some “research” on you, I discovered your room is in fact completely empty other than a plain, undecorated bed and a single chair facing the window. Can you explain? B.S. There was at one point a decoration. It was a calendar my roommates gave me, essentially a Toddlers & Tiaras calendar, but for cheerleading, so a bunch of child cheerleaders. I had a horrible falling out with the Dance Mom’s community just after COVID, so naturally I felt it wrong to keep this calendar up. Now, my only decorations are myself and my ego. And a little plant. I do have a little plant. E.N.K. This is a question I’ve been obliged to ask by Taylor Waters, as part of the editorial process of the Gadfly: Where were you on a certain night a few months ago when a certain video uploaded to a certain Gadfly affiliated YouTube channel [BSMysteries] showing someone looking very much like you entering the basement of the Chancellor Johnson House? April 22, 2024 blooded American he is, none of this cowardly fidelity to those bourgeois [The pronunciation actually used by B.S. for this word cannot be reproduced in the Gadfly due to constraints on publishing obscenities] cowards. He actually talks to people at parties, maybe from behind the long distance of an impersonal mask, but at least he can look you in the eye and not crumple over with nervousness. B.S. isn’t a person, so much as a state of mind. When I leave here, B.S. will continue. It is only a question of if anyone is strong enough to bear it. E.N.K. What will the Gadfly do without you? B.S. Nothing much of importance. E.N.K. I heard rumors that you are boycotting the Badfly. B.S. Yes, my boycott is for a variety of reasons, most of them highly moral. The main thing is, as you know, in the past year and a half, I have transformed the Gadfly singlehandedly. I’ve been the most prodigious, the most important writer, maybe ever. And now, they’re inviting other people to come in and say funny things, when humor is my invention. I took humor from the gods and brought it to men. And now other people are going to say their own funny things. I can’t allow it. E.N.K. Any last words? B.S. The good man dies in silence. The great man uses his own death as content. B.S. For legal reasons, nowhere. But, y’know…[B.S. proceeds to perform an elaborate pantomime seeming to suggest that he not only went into the Chancellor Johnson House but every other building on campus and left a small…something? An egg? Is he implying he created the greatest Easter Egg hunt of all time? An egg in each building, hidden away in the most absurd corners, but we cannot say for certain. It is worth noting B.S.’s legal acumen here, seeing as pantomime cannot be used against you in a court of law, as decided in the landmark supreme court decision MILFs (Mimes In Louisiana and Florida) vs. The United States (1863)]. E.N.K. Why do you write as B.S.? Doesn’t everyone know who you are? B.S. There’s something about B_____t S___t, the man, which disgusts me. He is weak, he talks too much during class, he can pronounce neither French nor Greek, he got shouted down during his Leibniz seminar. B.S. has no such problem. He just goes up to the board, draws something strange and unusual, and you are forced to simply contemplate it. He speaks French like the goddamn red 13 �An Irishman walks... THE BADFLY Let’s Play: Spot that Tutor April 22, 2024 CanÊyouÊrecognizeÊyourÊfavoriteÊtutorsÊbackÊinÊtheÊgoodÊoldÊdays?Ê 14 �… out of a bar. THE BADFLY April 22, 2024 15 �THE BADFLY April 22, 2024 SourcedÊfromÊtheÊ1986ÊSt.ÊJohn’sÊCollegeÊYearbook 16 �THE BADFLY April 22, 2024 17 �THE BADFLY 18 April 22, 2024 �THE BADFLY April 22, 2024 19 �Pictured below: SJC’s next intelligence operative in training, a turkey preparing to infiltrate the White House through the annual Presidential turkey pardoning. Success in this mission promises to secure $10 billion for the funding of the Program. St. John’s Forever! THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, staff, and alumni of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, The Key to All Mythologies (see p.14-15) 1. Ma ÊCaswell 12. WalterÊSterling reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and 2. ChesterÊBurke 13. DavidÊTownsend 3. JimÊBeall 14. CordellÊYee 4. GeorgeÊRussell 15. PeterÊKalkavage 5. RobertÊGoldberg 16. FawnÊTrigg 6. LijunÊGu 17. JoeÊMacfarland 7. CarlÊPage 18. MichaelÊComenetz 8. WillÊBraithwaite 19. HarveyÊFlaumenha 9. EricÊSalem 20. PatriciaÊLocke For more information, contact us 10. AndreÊBarbera 21. PamelaÊKraus via email at lbriner@sjc.edu. 11. MichaelÊDink 22. RobertÊDruecker thought provoking newsmagazine. Submissions sent to the Gadfly should either be in Google Docs or PDF format. 60 COLLEGE AVENUE ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 Photographs without a listed source are from the St. John's College Digital Archives. St. John's College owns the rights to these photographs. Illustrations without a listed source are by Takashi Mifune from Irasutoya.com and are free to use for non-commercial purposes. All rights to these illustrations still belong to the artist. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 20 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XLV, Issue 9 [Badfly issue] Description An account of the resource Volume XLI, Issue 9 special Badfly issue of The Gadfly. Published April 22, 2024. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Briner, Luke (Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2024-04-22 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource College students' writings--Periodicals College student newspapers and periodicals St. John's College--Periodicals Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly Vol XLV Issue 9 Badfly Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/768fb174a355785bfa761595d3319988.pdf 063ffd48f2b73eabba79d9231cdae19b PDF Text Text THE St. John’s College Annapolis, Maryland GADFLY The Spirit of St. John’s May 7, 2024 Vol. XLV, Issue 10 �THE GADFLY STAFF COVER Abigail Poppleton Luke Briner EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR El’ad NicholsKaufman STAFF Benne Sco Vivian Miyakawa Tamar Pinsky YOUT Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm CONTRIBUTORS Rebecca Goldner Ranger Kasdorf Natalie Goldman Anna Dayton Henry David Hills Troy HernerBrown Corrections to Vol. XLV, Issue 9 The amusing article “The Annapolis Cat Strangler”, which appeared in the Badfly without a named author, was written by Vivian Miyakawa. Dear Polity, CONTENTS Λόγος : news reports & narratives regarding immediate campus life Don’t Worry, Be Enabled by Tamar Pinsky 3 Johnnies Celebrate Glorious Victory in Historic 40th Annapolis Cup by El’ad Nichols-Kaufman 4 Capturing the Whiteness of the Whale: An Interview with Ranger Kasdorf By Vivian Miyakawa 7 ΣυμπόσιονÊ:Êcontrasting opinions on various topics for thought 9 Why Do We Write? By Rebecca Goldner How Do We Write? By Luke Briner 10 The Obscure Birds: A Theory Regarding Shakespeare’s Macbeth By Ranger Kasdorf 13 ΠόλιςÊ:Êvoices of the community, including poetry, cartoons, etc. Fight Sterility: RETURN TO MCDOWELL By Anna Dayton 16 Translation of Plotinus, Enneads, I.6.9 By Henry David Hills 18 Raggin’ on the ‘Min, Or: Why It’s So Fun to Make Fun of Admin By B.S. 19 “Noodles” Comics by Tamar Pinsky 20 Astraea’s Rhapsody by Luke Briner 22 XIII. Death by B.S. 27 Benediction for a Johnny by Henry David Hills 28 tomorrow by Natalie Goldman 29 Doors of St. John’s: A Meditation by Troy Herner-Brown 30 A Note from a Future Editor I write to you for the first time from the pages of this publication, not because I have anything to do with the wonderful content of this issue (which features an interview on Moby Dick, reporting on enablement, essays on writing, poetry, comics, and more), but because I felt it was only fitting to have a chance to thank the team whose hard work made the Gadfly this year possible before I begin my time trying to fill their very large shoes. Luke Briner, who you will know from four years of thoughtful writing on liberal education, Plotinus, Shakespeare, and more, has guided our publication through a successful two years as managing editor and editor-in-chief. His work has greatly contributed to the Gadfly’s role in amplifying the thoughts of all members of the polity. Tuyết-Nhi Nghiêm, who was first rightly famed in the Gadfly for her poetry, has done a terrific job of layout this year. Much of the hard labor of producing the Gadfly is in the painstaking arrangement of text into neat columns, and the search for images that will make just the right comment on an article, tasks that Nhi has done terrifically. This paper simply could not happen without her, and I am very grateful for all her work. It makes me sad to bid these seniors farewell, when they have meant so much to the Polity. However, I am still excited to see what the Gadfly might have in store next year. I hope to see old writers return, and new ones emerge. The Collegian, our sister publication, will also be returning with Helen Wagner at the helm. For now, I wish the seniors best of luck on the next step of their journeys, and the rest of the Polity a restful, or interesting, summer, whichever you prefer. I look forward to seeing you and your writing in these pages in a few short months! Your apprehensive, but excited incoming editor, El’ad Nichols-Kaufman 2 �όγος THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 Don’t Worry, Be Enabled By Tamar Pinsky St. John's Students Seated with Musical Instruments, Playing Cards and Drinking Alcoholic Beverages (from SJC Digital Archives) Why is it that whenever the word “enablement” begins to emerge from one’s lips, a rousing “don’t worry!” pops up? “Don’t worry, you are definitely going to be enabled” is the constant reassurance I receive from acquaintances, friends, last year’s tutors, and even people who work at the health center. These people do not know what kind of student I am, what kind of papers I turn in. For all they know, I could be a terrible student. And thus their well-intentioned “don’t worry”s manifest in me worrying, because surely there ought to be something to worry about, if everyone is telling me not to do so. I do know why they tell me not to worry–because most likely they are right; I will be enabled. Most students are. And even if they are not–then they can appeal the decision. There is really no need to worry, because enabled or not, one can return to St. John’s for junior year and senior year. What is the point of enablement then and why is there an appeal process? According to the Annapolis Student Handbook, “Sophomore enabling is a review, conducted near the end of the sophomore year, of the student’s learning during the two years spent at the college. Tutors judge whether it is in the best interest of the student and the college for the student to continue into the junior and senior years.” Enablement is not a measure of whether a student is doing their best; rather it is to determine if the student can and should take on junior and senior year. Though it comes with an armful of worrying, according to Mr. Abbott, it is “essential to the program.” Not only is it an “astonishingly thorough and just” process, but it is also a special one, for “it is a moment in which the entire faculty thinks about every student in an entire class, in as many facets as possible.” As for the appeal process, it is not a leniency; rather, a necessity for such a serious decision. It involves the student considering the decision, writing a letter, and having a conversation with the Dean, which may lead to their appeal being upheld, or qualified, such that there are actions they can take in order to be enabled. Enablement is a respect to the students; why then do we worry? Maybe we worry not out of fear of not being enabled, rather out of insecurity or of high standards we set for ourselves. These are valid anxieties, but they do not need to be tied to enablement. For enablement is a judgement of potential, not proficiency. Or maybe we worry because it’s fun to worry – it's exhilarating to wonder and gossip and fret in anticipation of enabling. Leontius could not stop himself from looking at dead bodies in Plato’s Republic; so too, we are tempted to make our minds ache, be it from enablement, or don rags, or essay writing, etc. But as Mr. Abbott recommends, this temptation ought to be “set aside, because it keeps us from recognizing the good work we have done. 3 �όγος THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 Johnnies Celebrate Glorious Victory in Historic 40th Annapolis Cup By El’ad Nichols-Kaufman Ranna Kisswani and Julian Yoder dancing at croquet (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) “The origin of croquet is certainly involved in mystery,” wrote some New York Times journalist on a slow news day in 1906. In an article squeezed between a clergyman in England claiming to have shot an angel and a letter from the founder of Barnard protesting gubernatorial candidate and tabloid publisher Willaim Randolph Hearst’s slander against her, the Times’ anonymous author opined that it may derive from “the old sport pell mell,” although speculated that its true source may be lost to the ages. Despite that writer’s inability to determine the true origins of that noble sport, your faithful correspondent had no trouble finding out the specific origins of our croquet game, the world-renowned Annapolis cup, which took place on Saturday, April 13th this year. 40 years ago, St. John’s students accepted the challenge of beating the midshipmen at any sport, and the rest is history. At this 40th anniversary game, history was to be celebrated, and a great game of croquet was to be played. Armed with a recording device, a thermos full of tea, and a press 4 badge fitted into his hatband, your most intrepid explorer of exotic locales such as front campus set out to record what was certain to be an Annapolis cup that would go down in the history books. It was a bright day, although windy, as your correspondent arrived on the field. Crowds of students, alumni and midshipmen milled about, dressed in their spring finery. Extravagant hats, sharp uniforms, and poor attempts at 18th century aristocratic wear were spotted amongst the crowd, as all gathered before Woodward Hall (yes, that is its proper name) to the tunes of the Naval Trident’s jazz. Already, the mood of the Johnnies was ebullient, with swing dancing beginning long before the opening ceremony. Finally, at noon, the formalities commenced. Speeches were given by Nora Demleitner, St. John’s president, and Yvette M. Davis, the superintendent of the naval academy, both of whom delivered fitting and stirring speeches while abusing the adjectives unique and incredible. Mayor Gavin Buckley was not �όγος THE GADFLY immediately present (he later arrived and appeared rather inebriated, in the eyes of this reporter) and so a speech from the city was given by Cate Pettit, his chief of staff and a fellow Aussie, who said she would give both sides “a fair suck.” This was followed by the entrance of the teams, the Navy in their ridiculous bow ties and sweaters, accompanied by their gaggle of caddies in mess dress with atrocious gold cummerbunds; and the Johnnies revealing their surprise costume for the year: Navy-style blue coveralls with white hardhats. The freshman chorus, which had gathered sometime earlier, regaled the crowd with St. John’s Forever and the national anthem, and surprised this writer by actually sounding like they were singing real music, a musical feat unrivaled by any freshman chorus heard in the past three years at St. John’s. Not only was it real music, but they actually sounded good! A speech was given by an old rusty wicket, or croquet alum, and then it was time. The unmoved mover, traditionally St. John’s president, stepped forward to begin the motion of the universe and commence the game. However, in a noble and virtuous gesture appropriate to our institution’s magnanimity, President Demleitner offered the first strike of the game to Admiral Davis, who set the game in motion. Your humble correspondent determinedly set out to keep track of the byzantine web of tactics and strategy being employed by both teams in their opening game by means of his sharp wit and deep knowledge of the game’s arcane rules, but quickly fell victim to the availability of warm sunshine, pleasant company, and little sandwiches with brie, honey and apples in them. Thus, he was caught by surprise at star announcer Lainey Rendelman’s voice calling out that on court one, Navy was ahead by three wickets. Your faithful reporter leapt up from his blanket, and set off to investigate. First, he found Dalton Olsson, a player on our team. Olsson said that he felt pretty good about the game so far, “Magnus and Peter on court three have been doing fantastic from the get go. On court two, Caden is doing what we expected him to do, which is still insane every time you see it…” Olsson then paused as Caden Marshall went rover, to wild cheers from all Johnnies present, and a few reluctant claps from neighboring midshipmen. “...he’s basically already won. Court one I haven’t really looked at, because courts two and three are going so well.” Your reporter also found a Midshipman, Cameron, who felt May 7, 2024 optimistic about his team’s chances as well. “We’re playing pretty well,” he said. “We may not play croquet as much as the Johnnies do, but we’re definitely going to give it our all.” Your reporter next consulted a close friend to understand the experience of the crowd. The Sage of Gorman street, famed from the St. John’s Collegian’s aphorisms, was standing by the end of the field, and said he hadn't watched much of the game, but would pay more attention towards the end of the game, as he was deeply invested in victory. “We lost two years ago. That’s unacceptable. We need a clean sheet.” Further, he announced his intentions to spend the rest of the afternoon lying in the sun. Thanking him for that piece of wisdom, your faithful correspondent moved on to watch more croquet. Around the game, the crowd was enjoying itself tremendously. The renowned Naptown Brass, famed performers at dignified events like Ms. Demleitner’s inauguration and the grand Noah Hillman Garage reopening party, arrived with their usual irresistible rhythms, sending Johnnies into whirling dances around McDowell. Elaborate meals were set out by alumni, with oysters on fine china and champagne in crystal goblets. Students partook in plenty of beer, wine and champagne, not to mention tea and scones. The warm sun shone on front campus, for once making it a wise choice to wear a thin summer jacket or short summer dress, and showing the great wisdom of Johnnies who chose to wear hats. As the afternoon went on, things became tense for a moment, and Navy won the first game on court one by half past one. However, by 2 p.m, things were turning around. Marshall, already known for his croquet prowess, made Annapolis cup history by pulling a sextuple peel, pushing his teammate’s ball through six wickets, and then shortly after securing a victory. Court three was also won, leaving just one game needed for St. John’s to win the cup. The air filled with excitement as the Johnnies on court one grew closer and closer to victory, crowned by a terrific final stroke by Henry Stockman, winning the game while well ahead of the Midshipmen, around 3 p.m. The crowd went wild, with cheering and yelling, and your faithful correspondent rushed up to get Stockman’s immediate reaction, risking life and limb to get past inebriated seniors, and alumni. “I’m really excited…Dalton and I were really excited to win the third game, and keep the trophy here where it belongs.” Johnnies flocked to the field, cheering, 5 �όγος THE GADFLY attempting to poorly set up a tenor-bass only Sicut singing, and generally making merry. The cup was presented to the St. John’s team by Mayor Buckley, and they celebrated by drinking straight out of this sacred libation bowl. Johnnies finally got themselves together, and sang a proper Sicut Cervus, enjoying the taste of a brilliant, and crushing victory. The games, of course, were not over- two more games remained- but for St. John’s, the most important deed was done. We won, as is right and proper, and it was time to celebrate. Even midshipmen had the goodsportsmanship to concede that the Johnnies played well, and joined in some of the celebrations. Your reporter found a Johnnie-Middie Couple, Margaret McConnell and Braden Walker, and, curious about what this kind of competition might mean for intercampus relations, inquired how they felt about it. “I feel great!” exclaimed McConnell. “I love singing Sicut Cervus and drinking my prosecco (don’t put that in) and I love kicking the naval academy in its face.” Walker, on the other hand, was less joyful. “I feel really bad. It’s unfortunate it’s a loss. I’m hoping for my senior year we come back and beat the Johnnies, and I also enjoy drinking prosecco.” However, it seemed as though their relationship May 7, 2024 managed to survive these tensions. “He’s buying me a round of drinks tonight,” said McConnell, “so I think it will be good for our relationship.” After this victory, Johnnies began to migrate off, to various corners of campus and around Annapolis. Your trusty reporter, on his way home, caught imperial wicket Angus Preston and croquet team member Peter Boersema sitting outside of Annabeth’s, with the Annapolis cup at their sides. Never missing a chance to interrogate such renowned sportsmen, he asked them how they felt about the match. “I’m feeling good,” said Preston. “We’re happy to continue possessing the cup,” added Boersema. They were both in good spirits, although Preston was disappointed to have the cup won while his game was still ongoing. Nevertheless, he still did win his own match, giving St. John’s a 4-1 record for the whole match. Doing some quick thinking, your clever correspondent realized this meant that since his Freshman year, St. John’s has increased the number of games one per cup by one every year, and asked if they think a 5-0 game is possible next year. “I’m not gonna come out and say it’s going to be a 50 year next year,” said Preston, “but I also am not going to say we’re not going to win 5-0 next year.” Alumnus Francis Proctor, Kate Kennedy, and Charles Dang geared up and ready to crush the Midshipmen in spirit with “BEAT NAVY” gear. (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) 6 �όγος THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 Capturing the Whiteness of the Whale: An Interview with Ranger Kasdorf By Vivian Miyakawa Ahan Sagreiya as Queequeg in Moby Dick (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) On the evenings of April 26th and 27th, the King William Players premiered what may have been the greatest play I’ve ever watched: Moby Dick. Entirely student-led, Mr. Kasdorf wrote the adaptation, composed the music, directed the play, and even acted in it himself. I was so amazed by this production that I felt compelled to interview Mr. Kasdorf about the process of creating such a large and impressive project. The following text is transcribed excerpts from our conversation. Mx.Ê VivianÊ Miyakawa: Okay, so my first question for you is kind of a big one: why Moby Dick in the first place? Mr.Ê RangerÊ Kasdorf: I started reading Moby Dick for the first time in August of 2022. I just cracked it open out of curiosity and I looked at the chapter “The Whiteness of the Whale,” which was still to this day one of my favorites, and, reading it, I was immediately thinking: I had no idea this is what Moby Dick was—I had no idea it was written like this. So, the next day I went to the library, and around the time when I got to chapter 36, “The Quarter Deck,” which is the most one of the most theatrical of the chapters, that’s when I started putting [to] myself…that this would work really well the stage adaptation…it kind of struck me as a book that naturally lends itself to a stage adaptation. The question of “why” is always hard to answer for any work of art, but I felt this kind of compulsion—like I need to see this on a stage. Looking at these words on the page, it's not enough to have them there—I need to hear somebody speak them aloud, I need to hear them delivered and I could immediately see it perfectly in my head. I really started having such clear and vivid ideas for how each scene ought to work. Then, there was this sort of curious feeling of wanting to make it mine. And this comparison is not lost on me; it became an Ahab-like obsession for me, and I certainly began to feel that kind of madness throughout the whole production. It's the kind of book that really does naturally inspire—it is art that begets art. VM:Ê When you have this feeling of needing to see it on a stage, how does one go about adapting a book into a play, like how do you change it from one art medium to another? RK:Ê Well, it helps that much of the book is already structured like a play. The first 27 or so chapters are very straightforwardly literary, but then chapter 29 is actually named after a stage direction. It’s called “Enter Ahab; to him, Stubb.” Then, the chapter “First Night Watch” is another one with the same structure, and then “Midnight Forecastle” is just straight up a scene from a play, with dialogue from all these different characters, so moments like that were pretty easy. 7 �όγος THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 If you're going to pick and choose what to but then you have Ahab, who takes that and twists it include you kind of have to decide for yourself what to his own advantage. All the things that I chose to the thrust of your adaptation is, and that, I suppose, is keep in this script are about emphasizing the tragedy the real question. DH Lawrence, in a review of Moby of a man who divorces himself from the rest of Dick, said something like, “It's clear that the white mankind and turns his eyes on God, not out of desire whale is a symbol, but it's not clear of what.” I ended for peace, but out of desire for revenge. The ultimate up deciding to lean into “the whale is God” angle, message is, “Do not in your search for men to find deciding to emphasize things like Starbuck accusing communion with end up falling prey to men like Ahab of being blasphemous, the sermon—and things this.” It helps that Ahab is such an incredible speaker, that seemed innocuous in the book suddenly took on and his words have such power. He is able to sucker new meanings just by virtue of being placed in this in this crew with that incredibly powerful speech on context. The story of Jonah that is being told in that the quarterdeck. sermon is very much relevant to On a sort of meta level, the themes of the book. It’s the play ends up being at least specifically the aspect of Jonah partially about how you want to being a blasphemer who repents. be aware of fancy speeches, and you ought to avoid being In fact, part of my pitch when I suckered in by appealing and proposed this play to the KWP was that Ahab is a Jonah whose flashy rhetoric. It's funny because ordeal does not teach him I'm realizing that the big thing repentance. Part of my expansion that made me want to adapt this of the story is that the whale was book in the first place was how God warning Ahab to not go to suckered in I was by those sea, but he continues to disobey speeches—and the thought was God by continuing to hunt the that a charismatic actor like Mr. whale. In that sense, it's like we're Domanski can really bring these getting to see what happens when words to life. The great trap of somebody is put through a trial Moby Dick is that it really is a joyous book for so much of it. by God and that trial does not humble them: it only succeeds in The opening chapter is full of making them more and more appeals to this sense of shared prideful and more and more humanity, yet once we're on the spiteful. So, the sermon becomes ship, things become so much immensely important in that more dark, painful, and context. In the book, it’s told to miserable. Ishmael and Queequeg, but my If I were to try and add choice to make it a dream any sort of lesson to this, for Jack Domanski as Captain Ahab sequence rather than a literal anyone who’s interested in sermon ended up being a chance adapting a book or any kind of (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) work I would say that all that is for it to feel like a sermon being delivered to the audience. The idea is that we can't really required of an adaptation is a kind of preach to Ahab. The Ahabs of the world are monomania. You must have a kind of Ahab-ish unreachable. So, it suddenly becomes about we're not monomania—you have to become obsessed with and preaching to the Ahabs of the world—we're fixated on the thing you're trying to adapt, and if you preaching to the men…they surround themselves do that, then the rest will fall into place. with. Do not let yourself be sucked into the wake of these men or led astray by them. Mr. Kasdorf wishes to publicly thank the King I think if you had to say what Moby Dick is William Players, lighting techs, stagehands, and about in one sentence, I would probably say that it is everyone who helped make Moby Dick a reality. He about the bonds between men. We have this greatly enjoyed the experience and is incredibly incredible community and sense of shared humanity, grateful for such a joyous production. 8 �υμπόσιον THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 Why Do We Write? By Rebecca Goldner We are a college committed to conversation. But we are also a college dedicated to rigorous, critical thinking, to language and its use, and to books that offer us manifold examples of clarity, creativity, and beauty. In class, we learn from each other; we listen, we attempt to articulate our thoughts, we move with the thoughts of others and we courageously try and test our ideas among our peers. We can start a thought and allow someone else to complete it or to challenge it. We ask questions and rely on friends and classmates to help us pursue the answers. When we write, we become our own interlocutors. We find our own opening questions and take upon ourselves the responsibility of pursuing them through somea development, possibly to some conclusion. Writing requires that we begin a thought and have the focus to stay with it, even when it challenges us. When we write, we cultivate our determination and independence. When nobody else can finish the incomplete thought, develop the argument or find the more elegant articulation, we must do it ourselves. While it might seem that we write for others- for readers- the first person of concern, the most important reader, is always the writer. As writers, we demand clarity, precision, rigor, creativity and style of ourselves. We become self-reliant and self-sufficient. We take a stand. We find our voice in all its many forms: what interests us and why, what tone and style is appropriate, how we engage with a text and, most importantly, what we have to say for ourselves. Student Seated on Couch Reading "Newsweek" in the College Bookstore (from SJC Digital Archives) 9 �υμπόσιον THE GADFLY How Do We Write? By Luke Briner In our Group’s two preceding meetings, we have considered, through papers by Ms. Goldner and Mr. Braithwaite respectively, why and what we write at St. John’s College. I believe that a helpful addition and natural next step from these two considerations would be to ask more rigorously how this writing should or must occur—or, in other words, to examine in more detail the writing of a St. John’s essay as a specific and philosophically-framed process or τέχνη. Since writing assignments are overtly considered by the Program as an additional or supplementary element to active classroom discussion (Statement of the Program, pp. 5-6, 8), it will be important to establish the nature of the latter insofar as the former is seen as analogous to and working toward the same overarching goal as it (I). Once we’ve done this, we will be able to more easily and rigorously enunciate the proper structure of the St. John’s essay and hence also the way that a student should approach the writing of one as a τέχνη (II). This, in turn, will naturally bring to light exactly why the use of AI in our writing is not only wrong in an obvious and general sense but uniquely and profoundly contradictory to the overarching pedagogical philosophy of the Program itself (III). I. The aim of every classroom discussion at St. John’s is to “reach insights far beyond the views of any of its members” (ibid., p. 5), and, thereby, through the achievement of an intellectual communion or πόλις in which “harmony is actual and immediate” (Luchene, Beginnings of Community, p. 4), to ultimately enrich the minds and characters of each of those members. The specific structure of these discussions has accordingly been established with the intent of achieving this goal as effectively as possible, which we can consider as consisting of three essential, highly interconnected elements. First, there is the material or ὕλή of the discussion, which serves simultaneously as the ultimate object of inquiry which all members seek to understand the full richness and implications of and 10 May 7, 2024 as the substratum by and upon which that inquiring act takes place. As far as the discussion itself is concerned, the concrete content of the material is arbitrary qua interchangeability as long as it can sustain continual rigorous explication and bear meaningful fruit in the minds of members as a result of such explication. Second, there is the thought-content or λόγος of the discussion, in and through which the class’ inquiry into and continually-advancing understanding of the ὕλή itself occurs. This λόγος may be divided into two sub-elements: the syllogistic, by which basic explications of and reasonings about the material are undertaken by members, and the dialectical, by which the content of those explications and reasonings are put into dynamic and conceptually constructive relations to each other. Because this latter sub-element naturally involves a multiplicity of syllogistic items, it may be realized equally well by a single member and by multiple members. Third, and accordingly, there is the social order or νόμος of the discussion, through which the effective interpersonal communication of the manifold of λόγος-content (λόγοι) with respect to the ὕλή is actually achieved. This element may likewise be subdivided into the rhetorical, by which λόγοςcontent is clearly conveyed from one member to the others, and the harmonistic, by which the equitable treatment of members with respect to each other individually and as a whole, and thereby the continued existence and integrity of the discussion in all its preceding elements, is ensured. This “nomical” content, and especially its latter sub-element, is obviously the most crucial component of the entire discussion insofar as it sustains the being of all its others, and the discipline implied in its cultivation is arguably where the lion’s share of its educational (or, better, edificatory) value for each individual member actually resides. The structure generated and sustained by the intelligent combination of these three elements—the hylic, the logical, and the nomical—is naturally the foundation, and, so to speak, the εἶδος of the seminars and tutorials that we’re familiar with. The hylic contents (ὗλαι) of these classes are primarily the Great Books, since they, as Buchanan observes, “communicate with great skill ideas that human experience has taught us are important” (“Now and to Come: Liberal Education: A Common Adventure,” p. 302) and so allow us to “tune in on the Great Conversation that we call civilization” (ibid.); and �υμπόσιον THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 Student Seated at Desk Writing a Note (from SJC Digital Archives) students, as their dynamically-active members, are responsible for the advancement of logical content with respect to the ὗλαι thus determined. Given this, tutors, strictly speaking, are simply fellow-members in the discussion which happen to also have absolute nomical power over it: while able to participate in the λόγος in the exact same way as a student, they also possess the entirely distinct but entirely necessary capacity to guarantee, via unilateral authority, that the social environment through which that λόγος is communicated and furthered is as open, friendly, and fair as possible. Each class, thus organized, will ideally serve as the most favorable environment possible for the intellectual and moral development of each student. II. Given that discussions at the College are organized in this exact way, and given that they are by virtue of the fact that such organization is optimal for the accomplishment of the College’s ultimate pedagogical goals, it naturally follows that essays, insofar as they are understood as serving toward those very same goals in the very same environment, are intended to follow an analogous structure to those discussions. “When we write,” as Ms. Goldner rightly states in her own essay, “we become our own interlocutors.” That is, however, crucially, not all that we become; rather, given what we’ve established above, we ideally internalize the entirety of the system already present within class discussions themselves—all its elements, sub-elements, and active roles—with the intent of carrying out the work of that system in, by, through, and for oneself. Our ὕλή remains much the same, that is, the Great Books, for the same reason enunciated above. We ourselves, however, generate and advance all the λόγος-content of the inquiry into that ὕλή, both syllogistic and dialectical—and, especially with respect to the latter, at least potentially raise and sustain a multiplicity of contradictory ideas that we subsequently seek to resolve or at least work out to the greatest possible extent. In this sense we play the role of not just a single student but all students, earnestly engaging with each other’s interpretations and questions in an organic intellectual polyphony, as well as the tutor insofar as they are responsible for setting that logical dynamic in motion by a clear, hylically-founded opening question. We additionally play the role of a tutor in the even more important sense that, 11 �υμπόσιον THE GADFLY simulating within ourselves the entirety of a lively discussion, we are consequently responsible for ensuring that that discussion is acted out in a clearlyelucidated (rhetorical) and considerate (harmonistic) way—in a somewhat strange but very real sense, the socially-constituted νόμος remains within our solitary self, and so we are compelled to think and act nomically with respect to the multiplicity of perspectives held within that self’s inquiry into the material. In summary, then—the St. John’s essay, defined precisely, is simply a self-sustained seminar carried out or expressed through the written word. From this it becomes clear that the real work, the τέχνη of the St. John’s essay consists essentially in the intelligent delineation and organization of all dialogical elements within one’s own mind with respect to the sustained analysis of a text in writing— or, put in another way, in the endeavor toward approximating the nature of ideal class discussion at the College given those same limiting circumstances to as great a degree as possible. One should begin with the ideal of a perfect seminar firmly fixed in one’s mind and organize one’s writing in accordance with, in proportion to it—beginning with a clearlyenunciated and textually evocative opening question, working carefully and considerately through a number of explicative elements and dialecticallyarisen questions, and arriving, through that process, at some substantially beneficial understanding either of the text, of oneself, or of the world (and ideally all three) that was not and could not have been possessed before the inquiry was undertaken. Consequently, it is the proper task of the student throughout their writing career at St. John’s to understand and master this process, and it is the responsibility of writing assistants, tutors, and the College itself to provide them with clear instruction and support in that task. Additionally, the essay, so understood, can be thought of as having another capacity we didn’t initially ascribe to it: the capacity to serve as a kind of litmus test not just for a student’s technical knowledge or cleverness but for their understanding of and mastery over the entire Program. Since the essay is simply the internalized form of a class discussion, the way that a student conceives of the nature and aim(s) of said class discussion will inevitably inform the manner in which they go about writing; and so the determination of a good writer is, at least potentially, a clear means of determining a truly good student overall, insofar as such a writer demonstrates not only an overt comprehension of the 12 May 7, 2024 nature of St. John’s essays and hence of the pedagogical philosophy of St. John’s broadly but the ability to develop in and through themselves through the direct application of that philosophy. III. It is natural to conclude, then, with all this being established, that the use of AI in the writing of St. John’s essays is uniquely and profoundly contradictory to the overarching pedagogical philosophy of the Program itself because (1) AI is incapable of asking the kind of questions, conducting the kind inquiry, and deriving the kind of benefit that a student earnestly writing out an inquiry would be and is (the essence of these things consists in something deeper than the simple approximating arrangement of words in itself), and (2) because, even if it were so capable, the damage of leaving one’s work to it is immeasurably greater within the context of St. John’s than it is in almost any other, since the entire value of our education consists not in the simple material of the Program but exclusively in the personal development, the edification that can be brought about by and through it. To use any such methods to circumvent the genuine τέχνη of writing at St. John’s, and hence to at least a significant degree shirk the great moral responsibility that a liberal education confers, is therefore not only an affront to the College but, in a deeper and very real sense, to oneself and to the world around oneself. �υμπόσιον THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 The Obscure Birds: A Theory Regarding Shakespeare’s Macbeth By Ranger Kasdorf KING. Dismay’d not this/Our captains, Macbeth and Banquo? SERG. Yes,/As sparrows eagles… -Act I, Scene II MACBETH. If charnel-houses and our graves must send/Those that we bury back, our monuments/Shall be the maws of kites. -Act III, Scene IV LADY. …The raven himself is hoarse/That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan… -Act I, Scene V MACBETH. Augurs and understood relations have/ By magot pies and choughs and rooks brought forth/ The secret’st man of blood. -Act III, Scene IV BAN. This guest of summer,/The temple-haunting martlet, does approve/By his loved mansionry, that the heaven’s breath/Smells wooingly here: no jutty, frieze/Buttress, nor coign of vantage, but this bird/ Hath made his pendent bed and procreant cradle… -Act I, Scene VI LADY. Hark! Peace! It was the owl that shriek’d, the fatal bellman… -Act II, Scene II LADY. I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. -Act II, Scene II PORTER. …come in, tailor; here you may roast your goose… -Act II, Scene III PORTER. ‘Faith, sir, we were carousing till the second cock… -Act II, Scene III LADY MACDUFF. …the poor wren,/the most diminutive of birds, will fight,/Her young ones in her nest, against the owl. -Act IV, Scene II LADY MACDUFF. How will you live? SON. As birds do, mother. LADY MACDUFF. What, with worms and flies? SON. With what I get, I mean; and so do they. LADY MACDUFF. Poor bird! Thou’ldst never fear the net nor lime,/The pitfall nor the gin? SON. Why should I, mother? Poor birds they are not set for. -Act IV, Scene II FIRST MURDERER. What, you egg! -Act IV, Scene II MACDUFF. …there cannot be/That vulture in you… -Act IV, Scene III LENNOX. New hatch’d to the woeful time: the obscure bird/Clamour’d the livelong night… -Act II, Scene III MACDUFF. …O hell-kite! All?/What, all my pretty chickens and their dam/At one fell swoop? -Act IV, Scene III OLD MAN. …On Tuesday last,/A falcon, towering in her pride of place,/Was by a mousing owl hawk’d at and kill’d. -Act II, Scene IV MACBETH. The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon!/Where got’st thou that goose look? SERVANT. There is ten thousand– MACBETH. Geese, villain? -Act V, Scene III MACBETH. …Light thickens; and the crow/Makes wing to the rooky wood… -Act III, Scene II 13 �υμπόσιον THE GADFLY I have joked before that Shakespeare’s two favorite subjects–surpassing love, murder, madness, and crossdressing–are botany and birds. If you’ve been to New York City you might be aware of the “Shakespeare Garden” in Central Park, whose theoretical aim (though it proves nigh-impossible in practice) is to house specimens of all the plants which Shakespeare mentions in his plays. As it turns out, Bard quotes make for quite a diverse garden: there are roses which assuredly would smell as sweet by any other name; there are daffodils, that come before the swallow dares, and take the winds of March with beauty; there’s holly, heigh-ho; there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance, there’s pansies, that’s for thoughts, there’s fennel for you, and columbines–no word on whether or not they could find any violets, though. I suppose there’s no objection to be made against those who complain that Shakespeare’s language is “flowery”; even as vicious a villain as Iago deigns to express his philosophy on life by way of botanical metaphor: “Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners.” And, of course, the plot of A Midsummer Night’s Dream revolves around a magical flower which makes people fall in love. I doubt anyone will object to my claiming of birds as Shakespeare’s other poetical fixation: I suspect that the majority of falconry knowledge which most non-falconers have today comes from reading footnotes in their copies of Shakespeare plays, explaining exactly what Richard II means by “How high a pitch his resolution soars,” or why Hamlet says “Hillo, ho, ho” to Marcellus. But while plants are so common in Shakespeare that I don’t know of one play which we might say is especially densely forested with references to them, there is one play that stands out as particularly full of birds in comparison with the rest of the Shakespearean canon. That play is Macbeth. This is the sort of thing that one only notices after having read a play so many times that the actual events of the plot become akin to the meter of a poem –beats which must be hit, and which start to feel so natural that one hardly notices them–and one’s 1 May 7, 2024 attention drifts away from the big, important speeches and toward the more utilitarian words and odd little moments that bridge them. I am not the first to point it out, but it is, all the same, a delightful quirk of the play, and could be a good way for Sophomores to throw their classmates for a loop in seminar: why are there so many birds in Macbeth? Above I have listed every ornithological reference that I’ve found in the Scottish Play; as we peruse them, we certainly cannot conclude that every individual reference is of the same kind, or carries the same import. I will not pretend, for example, that, just because geese and ravens are both birds, the Porter’s invitation for the imagined English tailor to cook his goose in Hell merits as much attention as Lady Macbeth’s ominous declaration that “the raven himself is hoarse.” Nor do I think that any individual reference particularly demands explication; by itself, any one of these bird-invocations seems perfectly natural. Shakespeare’s talent is such that he can repeat a motif in such a way that on the macro level it is obvious yet on the micro level it hardly feels present. But that macro level is what interests me here: what impression is created, on the whole, by the presence of so many birds in this play? I have a theory, which, though it may seem far-fetched, I think merits at least some consideration, and which, at the very least, I have not seen stated elsewhere, and so may make a novel contribution to the conversation. Macbeth is both Shakespeare’s most supernatural tragedy and his most Sophoclean; these two superlatives are inextricably related. The appellative Weird given to the opening scene’s three Sisters–derived from the Old English wyrd, meaning destiny, and famously given its more familiar connotation by Shakespeare himself in this very play –is, among the Bard’s works, unique to Macbeth;1 and just as that word appears nowhere else in Shakespeare, so is the concept it represents absent in all tragedies but this one. Though Hamlet may cry out against outrageous fortune, and though Othello may rhetoricize about how no man can control his fate, it is only in Macbeth that we truly feel that the events we see play out before us are fated, predestined, inevitable.2 The ghost in Hamlet commands his son to revenge his foul and most unnatural murder, but does not tell him it is certain that he will succeed; indeed, I credit this observation to Mr. Petrich, in his 2012 lecture To Meet With Macbeth. The closest thing there is to this kind of fatalness in another Shakespearean tragedy is the several superstitious occurrences in Julius Caesar–both the soothsayer’s message of “Beware the ides of March” and the bestial portents such as the lack of a heart in an offering and the whelping of a lioness in the streets. Still, I will insist that these omens do not convey a sense of fatedness to the audience as strongly as the Weird Sisters in Macbeth by virtue of their being told to Caesar himself, not to Brutus, the play’s true protagonist, and by the fact that Shakespeare elsewhere uses dialogue to throw some doubt upon the idea of predestination: Men at some times are masters of their fates:/The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,/But in ourselves, that we are underlings. -I.ii 2 14 �υμπόσιον THE GADFLY would not the drama be sapped of its intrigue if that level of certainty were present? Meanwhile, the supernatural interlopers in Macbeth offer the Scottish thane not a mission, but a prophecy: All hail, Macbeth! that shalt be king hereafter! From its mystical opening word–When, not If–the Scottish play makes us aware of the certainty of all that is to befall our tragic antihero. Macbeth is thus a different sort of tragedy than Shakespeare’s others, and it works by an inverted mechanism. While the tragedy of, for example, Desdemona’s death is that it may have been prevented, the tragedy of Macbeth’s destruction is that it represents the fulfilment of fate; and this is the very same mechanism by which Oedipus Rex operates, complete with its own “Weird” character in the form of the seer Tiresias. Though Calvin managed to accept that some men are destined for greatness and others for ruin, this idea is, to Shakespeare and Sophocles, nothing short of agonizing–the stuff of tragedy. Now: what does all of this have to do with birds? Consider these words from Antigone, spoken by Tiresias to Creon: You shall learn, when you hear the indications of my art! As I took my place on my ancient seat for observing birds, where I can mark every bird of omen I heard a strange sound among them, since they were screeching with dire, incoherent frenzy and I knew that they were tearing each other with bloody claws, for there was a whirring of wings that made it clear…3 Consider next these words from Oedipus Tyrannus, spoken defensively by Oedipus to Tiresias: Why, come, tell me, how can you be a true prophet? Why when the versifying hound was here did not you speak some word that could release the citizens? Indeed, her riddle was not one for the first comer to explain! It required prophetic skill, and you were exposed as having no knowledge from the birds or from the gods. No, it was I that came, Oedipus who knew nothing, and put a stop to her; I hit the mark by native wit, not by what I May 7, 2024 learned from birds.4 The practice of divining the future from birds–be it from their behaviors, their cries, or their innards–was, to Sophocles and his contemporaries, not superstitious hokum, but a practical science at which one could be skilled or unskilled,5 and it bodes ill for Oedipus that he is so quick to disregard it in favor of his own native wit. By Shakespeare’s day, the practice had long been relegated to the realm of outdated hocus-pocus, but the Bard still saw some truth in it; in Macbeth, there is a recurring sense that, when the world is sick with some great wrong, its first symptoms manifest in the behavior of birds. When the “fatal bellman” the owl shrieks in the night, Lady Macbeth takes it as a sign that her husband is about his bloody business. The day after the murder of Duncan, as Ross converses with an Old Man about the strange things they’ve seen the previous night, “unnatural/Even as the deed that’s done”, the killing of a falcon by a mousing-owl–an omen straight out of Sophocles–is mentioned before the madness and cannibalism of Duncan’s horses, even though the latter would surely be more immediately noticeable and ghastly than the former. These are the most obvious examples of birds as ill omens in Macbeth; yet even the more innocuous invocations of birds throughout the rest of the play continually turn our thoughts back to the ancient Greek understanding of fate and prophecy, and thereby remind us that, however savagely he may fight at Dunsinane, Macbeth’s fate is as fixed as that of Oedipus. The birds have already foretold all. 3 Antigone, 999-1004; Lloyd-Jones tr. Oedipus Tyrannus, 390-398; Lloyd-Jones tr. 5 The Liddell-Scott Greek Lexicon identifies at least two separate verbs referring to bird-based divination, both of which are present in the quoted passages: Tiresias uses ορνϊθοσκοπέομαι, observe birds, interpret their flight and cries, while Oedipus uses οιωνίζομαι, take omens from the flight and cries of birds. The latter term comes from οιωνος, a large bird, bird of prey, such as a vulture or eagle, and so distinguished from a common bird, while the former comes from ορνις, which more generally refers to a bird, including birds of prey and domestic fowls. Birds of both kinds are present in Macbeth; there are οιωναι, such as the “falcon, towering in her place”, as well as ορνες, like the Porter’s goose and cock. I therefore see little value in interrogating the kinds of birds invoked by Shakespeare, the specific cultural associations and significance of the owl, the raven, or the wren; rather, if we reduce them down to their barest existence as birds, animals of the class Aves, and consider them in an ancient Greek light, then things become a bit clearer. 4 15 �όλις THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 Fight Sterility: RETURN TO MCDOWELL By Anna Dayton After visiting the post-croquet “Garden Cotillion” party, I decided that dances in the Mellon Lobby greatly lack the atmosphere and aesthetic appeal dances have when they are held in McDowell. The centralized placement of McDowell gives large events an interconnected feeling, as people are able to leave the dance and head straight down the walkways into the downtown, and the booming of the bass speakers attract Johnnies in the neighborhood. The elegant wooden floors, warmer lighting, and suspended balcony over the dance floor gives the parties a warmth and soul that Mellon’s modernist appearance does not match. Dancing in Mellon is like dancing at an office party at an insurance firm or some thinktank. The quad also provides an attractive outdoor place for people to chatter and loll in if they don’t want to be inside and exposed to the crowd. The Mellon walkway and featureless brick patio is awkward in comparison, because that gigantic glass window over the patio makes conversing feel overexposed in a way the quad did not. Once again, the centralized location of McDowell enables students to easily return to their dorms. In comparison, the relative isolation of Mellon is highly impractical. Alongside these downgrades, the biggest thing about McDowell dances that the Mellon parties miss is the use of the snackroom. It is very obnoxious to cut around hoards of dancers and people loitering around just to get to the snacks. Sometimes I hit up these events just to take chips and fruits back to my room, and I’m sure many of you readers do too. Why should we have to step onto the main floor and slink around people to access the food? RETURN TO MCDOWELL Writing on a Chalkboard Reads "Goodbye, McDowell. In 1986, I had my freshman seminar in this room... it was worth the whole four years just for those nights." (from SJC Digital Archives) 16 �όλις THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 Rauchel Hauben on McDowell Steps (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) 17 �όλις THE GADFLY Translation of Plotinus, Enneads, I.6.9 By Henry David Hills W hat, therefore, is that interior seeing? Having just awakened, it [the soul] is not at all capable of seeing the Things Radiant. Therefore, one must train the very soul first to see beautiful habits, then beautiful works (not as many as skills work, but as many as do men who are called good); then behold thou the soul of them that have worked the beautiful works. How, therefore, mayst thou behold a good soul such as hath Beauty? Withdraw thou into thyself and behold. And if thou beholdest thyself not yet beautiful, such things as doth the maker of a statue that is to become beautiful (here it he removeth, there it he smootheth, here even and there pure maketh he it until a beautiful face is shewn upon the statue), even thus do thou: remove what is excessive, straighten what is crooked – by purifying what is darkened, work thou to be Things Radiant, and pause thou not from crafting thy statue until there might radiate out of thee virtue’s godlike splendor, until thou mightest behold “soundmindedness established on a sacred pedestal” (Phædrus 254b). May 7, 2024 sighted. For the seer to the seen made akin and alike must be brought to the vision. For no eye hath ever seen the sun that hath not first become sunlike, nor could a soul behold the Beautiful that hath not become beautiful. Then let each become godlike and each beautiful should he mean to behold both God and the Beautiful. For he shall arrive first, ascending, unto the Mind, and there shall be seen all of the beautiful forms, and he shall say: “This is Beauty, these ideas are Beauty.” For from these are all things beautiful, from the offspring of the Mind and Being. And that which is beyond This we say is the nature of the Good, and that which has been cast before the nature is the Beautiful. So roughly, in a word, the Beautiful is first; but he that distinguisheth the things accessible by the Mind shall affirm that the Beautiful accessible by the Mind is the place of the forms and that the Good which is beyond is both the wellspring and the origin of the Beautiful. Well shall he first regard the Good and the Beautiful as being in the same thing, except there is the Beautiful. If thou art become this, knowest it, and, pure, conversest with thyself, having nothing in the way of thus becoming the One nor having some other interior thing mingled with It (but rather whole is the very True and Solitary Light which is neither measured by magnitude nor circumscribed by shape into a narrowing nor even waxed into magnitude by inexperience but rather is everywhere immeasurable, as it is greater than every measure and mightier than every question of quantity) – if thou mightest behold that thou thyself art become this, then, having already become vision, with courage about thee, having stepped forward but a little (no more a guide dost thou need), gazing on, behold! for this is the only Eye that beholdeth the Great Beauty. But if that which may venture upon the vision is bleared with wickedness and is not purified or is without strength, by cowardice unable to see the Radiances at all, then it seeth nothing, even should another show that which is present and may well be 18 Students with a Model of the Five Platonic Solids in the King William Room (from SJC Digital Archives) �όλις THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 Raggin’ on the ‘Min Or: Why It’s So Fun to Make Fun of Admin By B.S. Dear Admin, Let me begin by saying: I know you like to be called “Administration” and will, in fact, be frustrated by the term admin. This is a small liberal arts college with a penchant for nicknames, not 1984 (read: kindly, kiss my ass). Now, I am sure you’re wondering: how can I get these kids to stop making fun of everything I do? You send out an email about Israel/Palestine and get yelled at. You choose a graduation speaker and get yelled at. You receive complaints about tutor pay, student discipline, retention (I’d like to add one more gripe of my own, thank you very much: why the hell did I, a current senior, receive an email asking me to give money to the college? Oh, but Bennett, it’s just easier to have you on the list so—Silence. All of my money is currently in your coffers, probably paying for some insane project so that a donor can put their name on it rather than funding our education). There really ought to be a game for negative student response to any action you take (my latest BINGO was: posters around campus, forwarded email chain, complaining about students not understanding the process after not communicating the process to the students (FREE), defending a morally dubious action, and the Gadfly getting unnecessarily involved (wow he’s doing it right now). So what can you do to make these students understand the hard work and complexity of what you do? Could you establish trust with the polity through open communication? Could you bring back traditions that make us feel like a cohesive whole? Could you set a precedent by openly admitting your mistakes and changing them in a student-guided fashion? Clearly, if you’re coming to me for solutions, you don’t want anything so reasonable. So let me tell you the right answer: The Jingling Atrocity Effect. Have you ever jingled your keys in front of a baby (or my roommate)? Those bitches love that shit! Why? Because it’s loud, it’s pointless, it’s impossible to reduce into a simple motion. For politically inclined liberal arts students, atrocities are the keys. For example, if you were to take War and Peace off the program and replace it with a Leo Strauss reading, people would be outraged, but there would be just enough people to defend it too. While there’s a major uproar about the purpose of the college, the place of literature in a liberal education, the inanity of Straussians (all fired up by admin hosted events), you can pass just about anything less bad under the radar. All you need to do is make the jingling atrocity so much worse the actual problem that it what you’re really gunning for goes by in silence. Want to remove croissants from the dining hall? The aforementioned Straussening would work. But bigger problems require bigger solutions. Want to fire a popular tutor? Remove all women from the program reading list. Want to change the name of McDowell to Coal and Uranium Center for Knowledge (CUCK)? Replace Plato and Aristotle with third hand summaries of their works. The magic of it is, as soon as your minor/ actual issue is passed into law, you can reverse the jingling atrocity and play the hero of having actually listened to students. Problem solved in a totally original way that Dick Cheney et al could never have thought of. It’s the most beautiful plan ever. —B.S. P.S. Ignore this one Admin: Members of the student body with something malformed in their souls, Give ‘em hell —B.S.er 19 �όλις THE GADFLY “Noodles”: The Owl By Tamar Pinsky 20 May 7, 2024 �όλις THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 “Noodles”: Sheep Can’t Sleep By Tamar Pinsky 21 �όλις THE GADFLY Astraea’s Rhapsody Or, Innocence Departed By Luke Briner Piety was dead, and virgin Astraea, last of all the immortals to depart, herself abandoned the blooddrenched earth. —Ovid, Metamorphoses, I.149-150 (trans. Kline) What can it be that has brought the souls to forget the father, God, and, though members of the Divine and entirely of that world, to ignore at once themselves and It? The evil that has overtaken them has its source in self-will, in the entry into the sphere of process, and in the primal differentiation with the desire for self ownership. They conceived a pleasure in this freedom and largely indulged their own motion; thus they were hurried down the wrong path, and in the end, drifting further and further, they came to lose even the thought of their origin in the Divine. —Plotinus, Enneads, V.1.1 (trans. MacKenna) §1. Unfaithful man!—debasement of the world Self-seeker of this fresh oblivion That swoons upon our tarnished history!— Unprovidencing shade! —I part from you, I, wracked and last-abiding pillar of Our new-archaic age, to haunt alone The voided vestibules of this veiled spire, And here, in limpid sighs, to contemplate A trembling memory of golden dust… §2. Recall unto yourself, fraught intellect, Light-lapped progenitress and proem of This now-forlorn, this self-benighting day 22 May 7, 2024 —Unworthy epilogue that dares to wound Its benefacting lid in late-set lapse!— My higher, unembittered origin, And how at last it came to be that I, Transported by a strange and heaven-born Necessity, first condescended to Accommodate this thence-exuded life That now so brazenly betrays my trust. 20 Before ran over from the halcyon That lips in love its bright profundity My ardent nectar, and upon the earth Turned in that spill to spoil, resplendent hence Alone with its own stupor’s seething jewels, Before the luminaries chandeliered The now-foreboding vesper, and, in sterned Recession, fixed their disenchanted glare Above the ingrate nature left below, 30 Before the umbrage of once-sylvaned shrines, Sewn through with sun, was made the obloquy Of its apostate’s squalid artifice, Before the soul forsook the innocence With which it had been brought into the world, Before—before!... I found my first repose, God-blearied and extremest paradigm Known to an instant-formed eternity, Against the white, unbroken vastness of 40 The coronet that countenanced my brow; Calm gaze reclined refulgently above Into itself, my youthful knees were taut Beatitude on planes of aegised gold: Laid effortless along the facets of My new-ascendant principality, Or bent in rapt attention by the hem Empyrean draped regally around The constant, yet-unaperturing dawn, Who, with a mother’s smiling eyes, gazed back 50 At me, relating in unworded verse The all-securing honor of our kind— How sweet it was for me to cleave to her! 10 The zeal-rococoed sunbursts whirling high Above my head in love-lit reverie, The crooning palatine cocooning me In its own measure’s truest liberty, The first-enlightened prism throwing forth My vision’s self-composed infinitude, Transfixed the newborn marble of my heart; 60 �THE GADFLY όλις May 7, 2024 And, happily abandoned to the crest Of the profoundest piety thence shed In still-unstayed exuberance, I was Myself the most exalted amarants Which, bowering the new-yawned panoply From which I sprung, supped blissfully upon The ichor blazing through my timeless veins. A voice— What else, what else than all this could I have Found in that birth, that ancient-lavished mind?— And all of ours! No discord, no distinction, no disgrace, 70 No reprimand and no remorsefulness Yet dwelt with me in secret contours of My cupola’s all-incandescing beams Or hitched in grief the fledgling breath that would, By its afflatus, bring them into life— There was but I in all—and all in me: Supernal paradise, and all its fruits! 90 §3. And yet— then— a polyphony Resounding resolute and swift across The full-concordant channels of that young Totality— yours, mother, and my own, 110 —I listened closely then, Gilt florets splayed submissively before The air that I adored; and, listening, Bore witness to what it —what I— decreed: O faithful Spirit!—Glory of the World So swaddled in my own felicity, Keen generation and unparted sheaf That, set with perfect confidence along 80 Its gentle-crested crook, swayed forth as though A dream against the zephyr’s honeyed touch, I had become—before this petulant Becoming was—the being that I am: Ecstatic oculus of the supreme, All-comprehending, all-encompassing, Pure lover and beloved of my sphere. And so it was, my love— and so it was For it to be. a music— suddenly— As I assumed, as my light lapped against The outermost extent of that first age —Prime precedent of age itself—I came At once, at last to know —last knowledge!— from The innermost corpuscle of my mind 100 A something new and ultimate: a sound— New-emanant from the unfathomed Love 120 Whose Sigh traversed the Void ‘tween One and Two! Heed You now this Our consummating Will. Have We not breathed the fullness of the Breath Vouchsafed unsparingly to Us by that Perfection resting yet ineffable Above Our Being’s steepest Apogee?— The empty Chaos of an unborn Life 130 Cries out for Us— cries out for Our Embrace: Who, then, are We, in the full fruitfulness Of this new-found Perfection of Our own, To not give forth that which We have received?— Awake unto Yourself, O Second Sun!— Awake! Awake! Awake! —The nect’rous Flames 140 That dance behind Your Eyes long now to love The Lack beyond the limits of their Light; 23 �THE GADFLY όλις §4. The rearing of a new Reality Entrusts itself entirely to You! Go You thus forth!— Our time, DESCEND! at last, has come!— DESCEND! 150 DESCEND! And I obeyed!... My chalice overflown with sibyled fire, My crystal uncompounded to the pale, I cast myself beyond all known extent, And, crested by transcendent-taken love, White wings surrendered to an alien wind, Frontiered the term of long-expectant space! 160 I was the most devoted vanguard of The conquest bright-cascaded on that world— Or, rather, on the world that would become: Down-hurtling through a nascent-bounded want, Still-tremored arches tracing carefully The unseen scepters of my early rule That, lancing the abyss with beaconous Aplomb, transfixed in sweet obedience 170 —born puissance of a better legion’s fall!— Its black, composureless infinitude, I arced, chaste arms outstretched, this just-souled sphere And wove through it my sun-anointed threads!— And there, at last, my spirit, drunk with art, Enveloping the all in gold-kissed clouds, Alighted long and tenderly upon The angel-infancy of its new life. 24 May 7, 2024 180 That novel earth!— That novel ecstasy!— Soft-glowing afterbirth of my travail, Display of heaven free-diasporaed Upon the pinioned sovereignty of doves!— How could this tongue, belaid as it now is With the offense so freshly brought by you, False man, against this place that I had longed To make your peace and rightly-reckoned love, Hope to convey the queerness of the joy 190 That I, perched trembling on the pinnacle Of my yet-tempered, still-enpalaced spire, Experienced on that primeval morn?— My fingers knit and raised instinctively To glory in the new-beheld extent Of their accomplished craftsmanship and cleave The tranquiled vastness of the virgin wind Was but the image and the indicant Inhering in the happy nausea of My undenominated form: 200 the eyes Refulgencing the firmamental tears With which they had been overcome; the skin Embracing, reverently, the paragon Whose own begot its very breadth; the robes Long-mantling and half-matrimonied to The unexhausted triumph of my dawn;— What beauty of a god-reined animal! What progeny of my prolific heart! 210 Thus high-encentering the diadem Of this young ultimate of youth itself —As if the lucidest celestial Moved only to obey the rapture that Whirled laughing, weeping, through my tender sense— I fell from that alofted origin Upon 220 the wonders of this fledglinged world— Fell delicate and slow, now drifting through �THE GADFLY όλις Familiar seas of lilting frankincense That grazed with tufts of warmly-settled breeze The flora fanned in splendor uniate And myriad, now blazing secret paths Across a sinless nature’s sanguine whole, 230 The condescension of my naked feet Kissed gratefully by her new-trodden silt; And, sweeping through the final-brimmed milieu Brought up at length —at that yet-longed-for time— In my ambrosial discipline and care To the extremest fullness of its breath As though an heiress to her dignity, I found my last repose gazed then upon, 240 Through thickets prostrate to their light-loomed queen, Laid still within the balmy sweat of sleep More sound and sweet than any wakefulness, The crowning innocence of this new life: You, man, you, soul, you, once-beloved child!... What miracle of thoughtless sanctity, Blessed nothingness’ fulgid-winking beads, That vaulted close your vestal-tended sight;— 250 And what swift-surging anima imbued Beneath the canopy of my caress That vaulted wide your native everything!— Can you recall, lost legacy, unto Yourself —this self so strangely other than My own!— the majesty that then suffused With unsuspecting grace our idylled age As you, reclined against me, listened to The all-entrancing cadence of my heart? 260 The virtue so immaculately wrought Within your nature’s early fondness was Itself the mobile of yawned azure And lullabies of yet-unopaled dusk That you, led with your hand enveloped tight In mine, were witness and receiver of: Within the shimmering horizon caught Between the coast and far-unfolding day May 7, 2024 In which you could—through that sublimest space Still see a glimpse of her bright-smiling face, Or cooed to by divinest companies That bent, devoted, over you just as The thronging stalks of gold, new-mothered by A giving earth, swayed softly with the wind,— There was but you in all—and all in you: New-perfect universe, and all its fruits! And so it was, my love— and so it was For it to have become. 280 §5. And yet— in time— —Forever-disparate life extended toward The rest from which it now had rent itself— You came to know —or, rather, not to know— From the yet-effervescent multitude Of your young-mastered mind, 290 at last, at once, A something null and dumb: an oversight— An ignorance— a negligence— a shade East-lengthening, in fevered latency, Against the ever-trusting radiance That even then, 300 in love, had cradled you. In love!— what darling jewels inlaid themselves, Bouquet of ardor girdled by my light, Unceasingly upon the porous clear So soon uncurtained to their end? —and what, Ill-consecrating soul, delight was there 310 —And is there now— within the mewling pale So swiftly and so anciently enrapt By my world-spectruming supremacy?— Why, then, 25 �όλις THE GADFLY how, then, in such high auspices Authentic to the beautiful-itself Immersed by me —by me!— 320 as you then were, Did you, unstanchioning your promised beams, Indulge, away from our since-sylvaned shrines, Yourself in this slight animal we wore?— Was it, perhaps, a new-emergent will, 330 Proud argent of the vale between two worlds Faint-emblemed on your heart, and its undue Appraisal that led you, inclining toward A foreign life for foreignness’ sake, To see yourself in that dull impotence, Apart from me in essence as it is, Which my omnipotence had overwhelmed? Such strange volition!— you had scarce begun 340 To know yourself, ensconced serene within A shell of glass still moltened by my smile, When, in that very selfhood’s name, you broke Forth from the light in which the mirror that You coveted alone had come to be!— So in a new-acquired impudence, Sun-scorning satellite now whirling low Beneath my feet in love-dimmed reverie, 350 which once had so Enduringly and easily enwreathed That early world of mine 360 26 —of ours!— return; But from this sin now native to its whole, Fresh-blighted fruit of imperfection willed By you and you alone —all injury, All blasphemy, and all dishonesty!— My spirit, dead to blood-drenched centuries, Returns, despairing, 370 to its early peak That seems —with the exhausted sympathy Of untold deities— to point to the Contentment of a time before your own. What self-unbeautied sight’s opprobrium, Deaf to the harmony of its own birth, Became, in that unprovidenced descent, Of your once-noble nature’s life— 380 and mine!— And what trace of that cherished childhood, All-justifying diamond of my fall, Remains now in your eyes?... —that trace alone Which marks, in sad familiarity, A facet of what heaven, once, had formed, And the profundity of what was lost. 390 §6. You founded your own order in the world Whose own, my own, alone could be your peace. And never would that peace, May 7, 2024 Unfaithful man!—debasement of the world, Profaner of the ancient innocence Departed from your doomed posterity! Ungovernable child! —I leave you here, You, to abide forever in the filth That you have found and come so much to love While I take wing toward kindred-grieving stars; And there, resigned above at last, forget This trembling memory of golden dust. 400 �όλις THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 XIII. Death By B.S. Well my friend, It seems to be about closing time. The jokes have been told, the policies have been satirized, my every emotion has been parodied and played out for you in public format. As my father used to say, the chicken’s plucked, the taxes ducked, the world is fucked, so we might as well enjoy the weather. I’ve been asked quite frequently: was it worth it, selling your soul to this lovely devil masquerading as a quirky little liberal arts college? Does a bear bear in the woods? Oh absolutely. You’ll forgive me a moment, then, as I divulge some final senior knowledge and things about myself. Consider this my last laugh. At heart, I am a coward, a room Johnnie who can do little more than smile and nod in social situations. I’m lucky to have as a roommate the closeted straight man and love doctor Benjamin Maier who forced me to actually socialize. But how does a muddle of a man like me make it work? I’d like to say something about saying yes, about taking risks, about slowly building up a community of friends that really and truly support you. The real answer is actually a lot simpler: Y’all are fucking weird. There’s nothing more heartening than knowing that doing my best impression of a cat boy (ears and all) will, in fact, be a quickly forgotten part of the party, overshadowed by the people who made out on the couch, the large amounts of drugs ingested, and the shaking of the aforementioned roommate’s hips. If I ever had ‘a people,’ I don’t think it should surprise either of us that they partook in every vice, including the worst of all: cringe. And god bless us for it. The only thing I’d change about my time here (other than the pandemic and the dropout rates and the fights with friends and—) is just taking that weird ol’ beast by the scruff of its neck and taking it for a ride more often. There are gonna be crazy opportunities to do things which you’ve never even thought about. Take every last one. And don’t forget: write it all down for the Gadfly. It’s been good. So long, and thanks for all the fish. —B.S. 27 �THE GADFLY όλις May 7, 2024 Benediction for a Johnny By Henry David Hills G raveyards teem with life, and this life will never die. May it grow forever; may it choke up the tombs. These Grecian urns are fair, the fare to earn the world. The man who longs after them in the end will be held by them. May doors be doors and windows windows, lest rich be poor and housewives widows. 28 �όλις THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 tomorrow By Natalie Goldman Take thirteen steps back, Toe to heel, And tell me again that you Can’t feel time’s magnificent hands Pushing against your back. You’ve only gotten used to The lack of resistance Because your strides don’t change From one day to the next. Tomorrow, walk with your own purpose, Unborrowed from anything. Rhythm will come to you herself And hold your hand in hers. 29 �όλις THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 Doors of St. John’s: A Meditation By Troy Herner-Brown Randall Hall Front Door (from SJC Digital Archives) “Doors forget but only doors know what it is doors forget.” - Carl Sandberg The double doors of Mellon basement point in opposite directions. Presumably this is so that instead of being easy to move things one way and very hard to move them back it is moderately difficult to move in both directions. I feel that the extremes of life have been robbed from me and replaced by a blasé mean. -The door to Gilliam is incredibly heavy. As a believer in kratocracy, I appreciate that we ensure that only those strong enough to hold a phalanx are able to enter the nicest dorms. -“Just the other day I walked into the Spector basement commonroom door (glass door, invisible) at full speed, forehead first, and I might have seen god,” says a senior. He seemed to treat this as an annoyance, but I find it beautiful. The image of God can only be found in that which contains no image of its own. 30 -Sometimes opening one of the lab classroom doors will cause the other to close. I suspect quantum entanglement. -While doors connecting to the outside close gently, dorm doors slam shut with a bang. So, in the event of an invasion, our first warning would only come when the enemy is already within our dorms. Just like the Trojans, we would not have reason to fear until after the enemy had already breached our inner walls. -The door of the Men’s restroom in Mellon squeaks in a way that sounds uncannily like a puppy being kicked. I find this distressing, but when I tell people this they tell me what's more concerning is how familiar I am with the sound of a puppy being kicked. I choose to ignore them. -The doors to the first floor of McDowell are both too small and too heavy, I imagine their density must rival that of a great star. I wonder if their sinister secret purpose is to send tenured tutors plummeting to early retirement. The agents of the state often take unsuspecting forms after all. -In Pinkney, there is a delay between when your key card scans and when the automatic door opens, as if the door takes a moment to judge whether you are worthy of entry. I worry that some day soon I will scan my card only to discover I am no longer one of the elect. -Two years ago the acting DC president was trapped in a Gilliam bathroom for 30 minutes. I suspect the doors have begun to take an interest in our political affairs, and I fear for our future. -“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite.” says William Blake, but as per above I worry if the doors of perception were cleansed they would be too hard to see and we’d walk right into them. -The doors of the Fishbowl are indistinguishable at a glance from the floor length glass windows, distinguishing doors from walls moves from an unconscious to a conscious process. Ironically, uniform transparency results in the most oppressive kind of opaqueness. But I think this is an important life lesson: one must often work to discern the true pathways from the false. �όλις THE GADFLY May 7, 2024 Last Lines of the Spring Semester Sophomores: The Tempest by William Shakespeare “Gentle breath of yours my sails Must fill, or else my project fails, Which was to please. Now I want Spirits to enforce, art to enchant, And my ending is despair, Unless I be relieved by prayer, Which pierces so that it assaults Mercy itself, and frees all faults. As you from crimes would pardoned be, Let your indulgence set me free.” Juniors: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain “Tom’s most well, now, and got his bullet around his neck on a watch-guard for a watch, and is always seeming what time it is, and so there ain’t nothing more to write about, and I am rotten glad of it, because if I’d a knowed what a trouble it was to make a book I wouldn’t a tackled it and ain’t agoing to no more. But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she’s going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can’t stand it. I been there before.” Freshmen & Seniors: Phaedrus by Plato Socrates: Beloved Pan, and all ye other gods who haunt this place, give me beauty in the inward soul; and may the outward and inward man be at one. May I reckon the wise to be the wealthy, and may I have such a quantity of gold as a temperate man and he only can bear and carry.—Anything more? The prayer, I think, is enough for me. Phaedrus: Ask the same for me, for friends should have all things in common. Socrates: Let us go. May we keep each other in our prayers as we go and grow be er and more beautiful while we are apart. A fond farewell to the polity! 31 �THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S COLLEGE Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, staff, and alumni of the Annapolis campus. Opinions expressed within are the responsibility of the author(s). The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and thought provoking newsmagazine. Croquet Fairies (Photo by Abigail Poppleton) Submissions sent to the Gadfly St. John’s Forever True love of wisdom is sheltered in her halls. Seekers of virtue will answer to her call. Books and a balance are all the tools we need. St. John’s forever! She will make us free. should either be in Google Docs or PDF format. For more information, contact us via email at lbriner@sjc.edu. 60 COLLEGE AVENUE ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND 21401 Photographs without a listed source are from the St. John's College Digital Archives. St. John's College owns the rights to these photographs. Illustrations without a listed source are by Takashi Mifune from Irasutoya.com and are free to use for non-commercial purposes. All rights to these illustrations still belong to the artist. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource <em>The Gadfly</em> Description An account of the resource Founded in 1980, <em>The </em><em>Gadfly</em> is a weekly student publication distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="The Gadfly" href="https://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=16&amp;sort_field=Dublin+Core%2CDate&amp;sort_dir=d">Items in the <em>The Gadfly</em> Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context thegadfly Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data pdf Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 32 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Gadfly, Vol. XLV, Issue 10 Description An account of the resource Volume XLI, Issue 10 of The Gadfly. Published May 7, 2024. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Briner, Luke (Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available St. John's College Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2024-05-07 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Subject The topic of the resource College students' writings--Periodicals College student newspapers and periodicals St. John's College--Periodicals Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context Gadfly Vol XLV Issue 10 Gadfly Student publication https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/sjcdigitalarchives/original/4672ad7cbf28df8290fdf0600860cb2a.pdf f40b39bf532f7c3e9e87f4a02a219c67 PDF Text Text ��RAT-TAT L....---------'11 9 11 L..........-1 - - PUBLISHED ANNUALLY BY THE JUNIOR CLASS OF ST. JOHN,S COLLEGE ANNAPOLIS. MD. VOLUME XIV. RALPH D. BROADRUP. WILHELM LENTZ. ASST. CLASS OF 1912. EDITOR-IN-CHIEF. EDITOR-IN-CHIEF. �Contents 27-32 Alumni 103 Athletic Association 104-131 Athletics 146 Band, The Board of Visitors and Governors 12-1 3 Camp Rain - 150-15 1 35-5 1 Class and History of 1911 Class and History of 1912 54-68 Cl~ss and History of 1913 70._ 76 Coll{'gian Board 191 0-11 I 53 Cotillion Club 100 11 Editorial Board 17-18 Faculty 85-91 Fraternities and Societies 78-82 Freshman Class and History 20-22 History of St. John's College 135-144 Military~ Department - 156-221 Miscellaneous 84 Preparatory Classes - 154-155 Rat-Tat Board for 191 2 148 Signal Corps 93-95 Y. M. C. A. �- -- -- - -- -- - - --- - --- ~ - 0 our friends and patrons we extend our most hearty greeting. In reviewing the past year of our labor in piloting this "Rat-Tat", our first literary effort, through the dangerous waters of editorial turmoil and avoiding the rocks of discouragement and overconfidence, we may f~el justly proud of our achievement. In presenting this book to our readers, we have tried to touch, as far as possible, some responsive chord in each one, although we can perceive the futility of trying to please all. To those who are dissatisfied and prone to criticise harshly, we extend our most heart-felt sympathies. We have published this book, not for criticism but because we deemed it a method by which we could show our love and loyalty to our beloved St. John's. Editorial Board "Rat-Tat" '11. �... ir!lirattntt ... fiyrnu ltrrunu Qlrrtl tulfollr untiring'' l rtfort.a for t~r alluaurrmrut of ]olftt'.a. t11rougl1 .atorm or ralm, llt.aaatrr or proaprrity, llrarrur aontr gratrful rrrogttitiott, t~i.a book ta atfrflionatrly llrlltratrll by tqr "t. (!llann nf 1!112 B Y RON VERNON CEC IL , M . A ., Sc . D. �BYRON VERNON CECIL During hi s entire career as a n underg raduate he was active and prominent in all branches o f Coll ege 1i fe, and was th en, as now, a i true exemplar o f that "St. John's Sp· r-it" which is th e proud heritage o f hi s Alm a Mater today , and which he has done so much to stimulate during hi s year s o f clominancy o f athletics and other underg rad uate activiti es. Cadet Cecil played on th e famo us St. J ohn 's foo tball team o f '89 , which defeated the Navy three tim es, one defeat being by th e score of 26 to 6, said to be the g reatest victory of St. J ohn's over the Navy on r ecord. He was also a member of the baseball , tenni s, and track team s, and for many yea r ~ held the reco rd for th e 100-yard da ~ h ; besides which he wa s a promin ent membe r o f th e Mandolin and Glee Clubs. He was g raduated in Jun e, r89o, with th e degree o f Bachelo r o f Sc ience, and in r89r accepted the position o f V ice-P resident and Commandant at the Vance Coll egiate l nstitute at Seven Spring s, North Carolin a. In the following year he was elected Commandant and In structor of Science and German at Dr. Gibson· s Schoo l at A rsC'ning -on-the-H udson, New Yo rk . In 1893 h e went to De nv er , Co lorado, <S In structo r in Science and Mathematics at J arvis Hall M ilitary Academy; and while there he wa s confirmed by Bishop Spaulding of Colorado, of th e Protestant Episcopal Church, who became hi s warm personal fri end. In 1894-95 he w<15 a g rad uate stud ent o f Chemi stry, P hysics a nd M ineralogy at th e J o hn s Hopk in s U niversity, Baltim ore, upon th e completion o f which course, in r896, he wa s elected to the chair o f Chemi stry and P hysics at St. Jo hn 's College, and then began hi s career as a member of the faculty of hi s A lm a Mater, vvhi ch career has been one of achi evement and di stin cti on. H e soo n :c.howed hi s capacity and fitn ess for thi s work, and by hi s fairn ess and so un d judg ment and sympath etic interest in th e un derg raduates became th eir stanch friend, and g uid e as well as their p recepto r. I n all th e interco urse betw een St. J ohn" s a nd oth er co ll eges, and especially in ath leti cs, th e students have alway s confidently reli ed on hi m a. th eir leader, and St . Jo hn 's man y diplomatic triumph · j n th ese matters are la rgely clu e to hi s co urageo us stand for hi s p rin ciples an d to hi s sagacity. 8 H is reco rd as a member o f the fac ulty has been one o f material achievement s. Fo r in sta nce, he ha s expand ed th e chemi cal labo ra tory a nd introdu ced a chemica l co urse th at ranks among th e very best in South ern coll eges: besides which he ha s e s t a bh ~ h e d a phy sical labo rato ry co urse, th e fir st in th e hi story o f the Coll ege. As a result of hi s lead er shi p and coaching the athl eti c team. o f St. J ohn ·, Coll ege have a ttained a remarkable record and have been co mplim ented by such authoriti es as th e "OUTIN G'' Magazin e fo r th e hi g h idea ls th ey hav e maintain ed as vvell a s for the uccess ful results gain ed in all coll egiate athl eti cs. The inaug uration o f th e movement for th e build ing o f th e magnifi cent n ew gy mna sium is very la rg·e ly due to hi s indefatigable efforts, and he is entitl ed to alm ost entire credit for th e eq uipm ent o f thi s building. Nor have hi s activiti es in behalf of the Coll ege cea sed with th e closing o f each coll egiate year, for during th e Slllllmer month s, a s Chairm a n o f the A lumni Committee to advance th e interest o f the Co ll eg·e , he has worked un cea sin g ly to perfect th e modern canva ss ing m ethods for desirabl e students, as a result o f whi ch effo rts th e enrollm ent o f stud ents has a lm o~ t doubled within th e past three yea rs. In 18()7 th e degree o f Ma ster o f Arts was conferred upon him by hi s A lm a :\later, a 11 d in T 909 he wa s award ed the still furth er di stincti on of th e deg ree o f Doctor of Sc iet;ce. In 1897 he ma rri ed M iss Ada Cecil. o f Montgomery Co unty , a nd th ey have fi ve attractive yo ung chil dren, four boys and one g irl , and resid e upon th e Co ll ege Cam pu s, adjoinin g th e residen.ce o f Dr. Thomas Fell , th e P resid ent o f th e Coll ege. Sketch by hi s old fri en d, RIDGELY PRENTISS MELVIN, A. B., M.A., L. L. B. 9 �EDITORIAL BOARD Editor-in-Chief RALPH D. BROADRUP A ss istant Editor-in-Chief WILHELM LENTZ Board of Business Managers A . EVERETT WILLIAMS GEORGE L. WINSLOW RAYMOND STALEY 0 a: <{ 0 m Miscellaneous Editor Alumni Editor LEWIS E. PAYNE FREDERICK S. MATTHEWS A ss istant M isce!laneous Editors Athletic Editor J. ARTHUR BRASHEARS ROBERTS. HOPKINS FR EDERICK A . MILLER Assistant Athletic Editors Literary Editor CLYDE C. HARRIS IRA E. RYDER BENJAMIN MICHAELSON Assistant Literary Editors Town and Campus Editor PHILIP L. ALGER SPENCER D. HOPKINS WILLIAM JONES A ss istant Town and Campus Editor Humorous Editor M . V . ZIEGLER C. HOLLAND RIGGIN Art Editors Assi•tant Humorous Editor HERMAN A. GAILEY J . MASON HUNDLEY WILLIAM G. CATLIN 11 �M . D ., Ann apolis, Mel ., r882. Baltimo re, M el. , 1899. ] A MES A . FEC fl Tl G, GEo RGE vVELLs, PH I LOMEN H. Tu c K , A nnapo lis, M el ., 1899. L. D o RSEY G ASSA w A v , Ann apoli s, :\1cl ., r89 1. Board of Visitors and Governors C H. \ S. G. F E LDME YER, Baltimore. M d ., r885. NICH OLA S H. G REE N, H oN . D .\ N.L R. A nn apoli s, Mel. , 1901. H ARR Y J . H OPKI N S, i\I AG RUDER, A nnapoli s, Mel. , 1902. Annapolis, Mel. , r89 r. C. J oN ES, R ockvill e, Mel. , 1892. ST EVE NSON A . \ t\! J LLl i\ M S, H oN . SPE NC ER P resident (Under th e Cha rt er, elected a nnuall y .) H i s Ex c ELLE:-<D' , AusTI N L. CROTHERS, Go vernor o f Ma ryland, Ann apoli s, Mel. , 1908. Belair, M el., 1904. L o u rs T. H oN . J o H N G. R oG ERS, CL ARK E, E llicott City, Mel., 1905. E ll icott City, M d., r894. M. D A nn apolis, Mel., r882 . Secretary, P resident (Pro tem.), J . \ t\! JRT VV J LLIAM G . RJDOU T, R. \ ND .\ LL, A nn apoli s, lVId. L. H oN . A RTH U R P. G o tn 1 AN, .. D o RSEY GAsS.\ W A Y, E sQ ., Annapoli s. M el ., 189 r. P re. icl ent o f the Senate, La urel, Mel. J. H oN. N EVETT STE ELE, Rockville, M el., r894. H oN. H oN . I-I. W . T A LBOTT, Annapoli s, Mel ., 1907. J AMES M. MON ROE, Ann apoli s, M el., 1896. VV I LLIAM W OODW ARD, R . New Yo rk, 19 10. B RUN ER A N DE RSON, Baltimore, M el., 19 rc . R . PATT I SON, Judge Co urt o f Appeals, Cambri dg e, Mel. H oN. r\DAM PEEPLE S, Speaker o f H ouse o f Deleg ate , P ort D epo. it, Mel. H oN . \ t\! M. H. TH OMA S, J uclge Court o f Appeals, Westmin ster , Mel . l-I oN . A. H uN TER BovD, Chi ef J nclge Co urt o f Appeal , Cum berl and, :\fcl. H oN . ] A MES A. P EA RCE, J uclg e Court o f Appeals, Chesterto wn , M el . l-IoN . H . C H AS. B u RKE . J uclge Court o f Appeals, T o w o n, Mel. H oN. H AMMON D U RN ER, J R. H oN. J . P. B RI SCOE. J uclg e Co urt o f Appeals, F rederi ck, Mel. Judg-e Court o f Appeals, P t·in ce F rederick, Mel . Ann apoli s, Mel ., 1897. D .\ N I EL :\f. TH OM .\ S, Balti more, i\J cl. , r859. L. AL LI SON VV ! LM ER, La P lata , i\Icl ., 1897. J -lnN . J. V 11n V H o:-.~. R o BE RT M o s s, FR .\ N K H . STOC KETT , Ann apolis, Mel .. 1897. R.\ NDA LL, Ann apoli s. i\Jel., r882. 12 13 �,.. f_J ::> u < ._ DR . FELL . P H . D .. LL. D . 14 �FACULTY Thomas Fell, A . l.L :\ . l\I.. Ph.D .. L L. D .. D . C. L.. Pre. ident of St. J ohn' College. J3o rn in Liverpool. E ng land: educated at th e R oyal ] nstitution Schoo l in Liverpo.)l: King's Coll ege. London: "C'niver sity of London. E no·la nd , and for two years at the U ni~e rsity o f :\lunich . Bavaria. Ge rman y Profe sso r of Ancient and ::\[odern Lang uages at New vVind so r Co llege, :\1aryland. from r884 to r886. Became Pre.idtnt o f St. J ohn ·s Coll ege in r886, a nd \"ice-Chancello r of the Gnive rsity of l\'f aryland in 1907. I s a member of th e :\m erican Academy of Politi cal a.1cl Social Sc ience. Ameri can Phil ological Society and the P hi S ig ma Kappa h·ate rnity. BYRO:\ \ 'E RN O~ CECIL. :.\L A .. Sc. D. (See dedi cati on. ) Ua rtg is l\f cG lone. r\ . H .. P h.D ., Sec retary to the 1-aculty. Born in Baltimore, :.\1 a ryland . Ed ucated in co mm on schools o f Baltimore and at the J ohn s Hopkin s Liniversity. In structor and P rofesso r of Bioloo·y and Geology at Illinoi. Wesleyan U niv ersity from 1903 to 1905 : Professo r o f Llio logy and Geology at St. John 's Co ll rge since 1907: A sistant United States W eather Bureau. 19021903; A. 31sta nt U nited tates F ish Commi ssion, I907-1 908. J ohn 1\oyc' White, A.B. , :\I. A. Born in Grove City, Penn sylvania. Took preparator) course a t G rove City Coll ege : g raduated from Geneva Co ll ege in 1885: graduatr stud ent o f Jo hn s Hopkin s "C'niversity, 1890-91: studi~d in Berlin, 1892, and has tudied for several summ er s at the U niversity of hi cago. Teacher in chools o f Choctaw Indian s, Indian Territory, 1885-88 ; Chestnut Level, Pa., 1888-93: I nstructor in Geneva Coll ege. Beaver Fall s, I a .. 1893-94; I rofesso r of Lati n an d _ ,reek at St. John' s College since 1896. 11enjamin Harri son vVaddell. l\I. A .. C. E . Gradu ate o f vVa shington and Lee L'nivcrs ity ; Assistant Professo r o f l\lath ematics a t \ Vashington and L ee l'niversity: Adj un ct P ro fe sso r at Central U niversity, Ri chm ond , Kentucky: Professo r f Mathematics at St. John ·s oll ege. Clare!lCe \ Vil w n St ryker . l\J. \ . lJorn at Sharon. Conn ecticut. Educated in .chool;; in \ Var aw . 1\ew York: Ea ton, :\Ia ryla nd , and at Uni on o ll ege, Scheneclady, 1\ew York. Taught in seconda ry sc hools in \"irg ini a, 1\ew Yo rk and :.\Iarylancl. r885 -94; I-Jeacl l\I aster vVarfield Co ll ege School. 1902 to 1904 ; 1 'rofes:or oE H i. tory and Econo mi cs at St. J ohn' s Coll ege sin ce 1904. 17 �J o hn B roc kway Rippere. B. A., M. A. G radua ted at \i\fes leyan Uni ve rsity. Co nn ecti cut. in 190 1, with th e degree o f lJ . A . cum laud e; rece ived d eg ree o f M. A . on exa minati on in 19 10 : meml:: er o f Chi Ps i F raternity; tau g ht in B roo klyn L a tin Schoo l, r qo r to 1902; In , tru ctc r S t. Jo hn' s Co ll ege. 1902 : Assistant Pro fesso r o f L at in , 1904; P rofes,o r o f L ati n. 1907. Ro nalci E. F i. her . L ieutenant Fo urtfe nth Cava lry . U. S. A . Grad uated at Wash ingtLm Co ll ege. ;\Ia ry la nd: admitted to the practice of law in i\Ja ryland in 1899 : pri·,,ate in Fift h ;\Ja rylan d I n fa ntry. 1898: enli st ed in F irst Caval ry . U. S . r\ .. in 1899: commi ssio ned Second L ieute na nt. Fo urth Cava lry. 1900 : J g rad • ated f rom A rmy Sc hoo l of L in e. 1907 : g radu ated from A rm y taff oll ege. 1908: Con1mandan t cf Ca dEt~ . ~ t. J o hn 's College. ' in ce 1<:;09 . Ed~<~·a!·d Hinm a n Siri ch. A . 11 . Gradu a ted a t J1a lti more City Coll ege. 1903 : gradua·~ed at J o hn : H opk in s "University, 1906 : g raduate stud ent a t J o hn s H opkins C ni v r._ . 1t:;c6-c8: n: eml::er of 11eta Th eta I'i and P hi Deta Kappa fraterity niti es : Profes ·c r of ;\JodErn L a ng uages at St. J 1m's Co ll ege sin ce 190 . Charle Geo rge E id so n, B. S .. E. E . Grad uated at U niversity o f Tenn es~ee. ssista nt P ro fesso r of l\Jathematics. Po rter M ili tary Academy,. Charl e to n. S. 1909 : P rofesso r o f M echani ca l E ng ineering . in ce 1910. ( Th e 'hair of Mecha ni ca l E ng in ee rin g was establi_ hed in 19 10.) 1 ~09: l' rc fesw r of Drawin g and \ A mo:; \1 alte r \!\frig ht \ iVoodcoc k. A. B .. :u . r\ ., B. L. IJo rn in Sa lisbury. a ll ege : Commanda n t nf C < dets a nd P rofe so r of ;\Jat hemat ics at \1\' o rn a ll H a ll }Iil ita ry Acad emy . 1904: Imt r ucto r of Math emati cs and Lati n, S t. J hn 's Co ll ege : received ci<:g ree o f B. L. from U ni versi ty of ;\Ia ryland, 19t0 : r\ ss ista nt Profes so r of i\Jath en1at ic" since 1905. ~Jaryla n d. Ed ucated in schoo ls o f Sa li . bury and at S t. J o hn '. T homas L. Gladd en. T hirtee n yea rs expe ri ence in Texa s as P rin cipa l o f H ig h Sc hon ls affi li a ted with t he Sta te l ' ni ven= ity: seve n years a . pr in cipal of E lli cot t City Hi g h Schoo l-a n acc redited J lig h Sc hoo l o f t he S tate o f ;\fa ry la nd ; three year~ as S upe rinten dent o f the Prepa rato ry Sc hoo l of S t. J o hn 's Co llege. R ococ Ea rl G ro ve. r\. B. B rn in ;\ li dcll etow n. ~Jary l a n d. Received ea rl y educat;on in schoo ls of F rede rick Co unty : P ri ncipa l of :\rno ld stow n P ubli c Schoo l. 1904-05: ~. tudicd three yea rs at F ra nklin an d :\Jarsha ll Coll ege, Penn sy lva ni a; g rau clated c:.t St. Jo hn' s Co ll ege . 19 1o: Co mm a ndant of Cadets a nd In st ru cto r in E ng li sh a nd Hi sto ry at t he Chambe rl a in l\I ilita ry Academy, New Yo rk. fo r two month s : In st ru cto r in S t. J ohn' s P repa ra to ry Schoo l sin ce O :.:to be;·, 19 10 : In stru cto r in Gym n a~tic s at S t. J ohn 's Co ll ege. 18 �H istory of St. John's College , JTHI N t he bo un clari e. o f hi sto ri c A nn apo li s is situated th e fo urth oldest coll egiate in stitutio n in t he U nited State:. 'On e fam ed fo r it learnin o-, its a thl etics a nd it ge ntl emanly men. \Tilli T he nucleu o f thi s ren o wn ed in stitution was Kin g \1 am' . Schoo l, which was fo unded in r896 by a n act o f the General Asvan ced thro u::; h r784 sem bly o f Maryland. Thi s school seem ed in ad equate fo r th e adlearning which the people o f l\Iary lancl desired . cco rcli ng ly. th e energe tic appro priated a effo rts um of of Governo r mo ney for E den. th e L egislature the establi shm ent o f of " a coll ege for t h educatio n of yo uth in every li beral a nd usef ul bra nch o f cience.'' vVith th i · < rnpriatio n was includ ed a tract o f land and th e unfini shed structure .pp that wa s fu nn erly intended fo r th e Governo r' s man sio n. In 1785, whil e th e old man ion \\·as being remoclelecl , an act o f Cong res conveyed all the fund and property of King Wi lli am's choo l to the new in titutio n. w hi ch wa s nam ed S t. J ohn 's Coil cge, after S t. J o hn ' o ll ege o f Oxfo rd U niversity . fte r th e remodeling o f t he old buildin o· it was dedicated. o n th e e leventh o f November. 1789. to the g reat wo rk o f enlig htening ma nkind. Thi ~ buildin o· is no w kno wn as McDo well Hall, in ho no r o f Dr. J o hn M cDo well , the fir st Pres i lent o f th e Co ll ege. l\IcDowell Hall was th e central fi g ure o f the Coll eo-e bui ldin gs un t il it was de. troyed by fire on th e tw enti eth o f F ebrua ry, r909. O ut o f the ruin o f O ld 1\IcD we ll rose th e New l\JcDo well , unlike th e old in o nl y two respects, th e elimin atin g o f the pillar in th e chap el and an impro vement in th e staircase. On its fi r, t Hoo r M cDowell Ha ll co ntain s the P resident's ffi ce , faculty room, cha pe l and recitati o n room ; o n th e seco nd a nd third Aoo rs are situated rec itat io n r o ms a nd two room g iven ove r to the use o f th e two Lite rary cieti e : rmo ry, Y . l\l. . rooms an ·! the basement conta in . th e A djuta nt' offi ce, two ro !11 3 used as . tor erooms. Se ni o r ·1..:1~11 was built o f r ed bri ck in r903 with the aiel of legisla tive appropri atio ns.an cl i ~ situ a ted a sho rt di sta nce no rth of l\l cDo well 1-la ll. O n th e first 20 Ill .J .J < I >Ill z z " il c z < a: Q z Ill Ill �A r is t he Di ning llall: o n the second and third Aoo rs a re do rmi to ri es fo r oo enio r s a nd J uni o rs : in the ba sement are the kitc hens. T he i1all 111 wh ich th e Sop homo res au! Fres hmen roc m is na med Pi nkn ey Hall. in honor o f \Villi am Pi nkn ey . a n a lumnu s of the Co ll ege. T his hall ll' :lS erected in rSss. wh il e D r. H um phreys was P resid ent of the Coll ege, a nd is fo ur :- tori es in height . It s ivy-clad wall s prese nt thro ug hout the yea r a ve ry attractiv e ap1 ea rancc: I t was w=ed a s a hospita l a nd barracks du rin g the Civi l \1\far. and : sin ce th e close o f that bloody struggle has t:een u sed as a dor m ito ry for the ' tud ents. Fo rmerl y all th e Co ll ege ~ tud e nt s resid ed in Pinkn ey Ha:I. but since :-L th e erection o f Senio r 1 all. P inkn ey has bee n occ upied by Soph omores an d F reshmen o nl y. T o th ;· so t:thwe st of l\IcDo well one sees th e g rey wa ll s o f H umphreys lla ll. c r, as it i ~ better kno wn . .. P rep. Hall. .. T hi s bu il di ng was erected in 183 5 a nd na med Hum phreys H all in 1855 in ho no r o f Dr. Hump hreys . thro ug h whose untiring effo r ts its erection wa s made po ss ible. D uring· the Civil \\'ar it 1ra s used as a ho , pital. A t p resent it is devoted to q ua rters fo r the prepa rato ry school. u pe rin ~end en t o f the Preparato ry Schoo l and hi s fa mily. Co mm a nda nt and his fa mil y, hai·in g a Study I-Iall an d a stor erco m in the basement. U) .J .J <( I c a: <( In the no rth ea' t corn er of the ca mpu s stand ,; vVoodwa rd Hall. 11·hi ch wa s built in 1900 thro ug h th e ge neros ity o f J ame s T. vVoodwa rcl, a n alumnu s. It s a rchitecture foll o ws cc loni al lin es and it is const ructed o f reel brick with white ma rbl e trimmin gs . O n th e fi rst Aoo r o f thi s hall a re t he libra ry . containing mo:·e t ha n nin e tho usa nd vo lu mes, a nd the biologica l lecture room and labo rato ry: on th e seccnd Aour a re th e phys ica l and chemi cal lectu re rooms and labo ra to r1 es; th e tasement i ~ equ ipped a s a modern wo rkshop. T he 11ew gymna sium wa s erected in 1909 a nd is one o f the fin est a nd best eq ui pped in th e So uth. It is situ ated o n th e rea r campu s, fqcin g K in g Geo rge street, a mi is constructed o f a specially p repa red red brick a nd tr imm ed with whi te te rra cotta. Its g round space is r s8x97 fee t, a nd its mai n room is 12ox6o feet, whicl1 is la rge eno ug h to co ntai n a basketb a ll co urt , and is a l,oo u' e.cl as a d rill ha li in ra in y weather. The wings contain t he o ffi cia ls' offi ces . a shoo ting g allery, read ing rooms, locker rooms, swimmi ng pool a nd sho wer bath s. :\ro un d the main rcom o f t he buil din g, at a heig ht of twelve feet from th e A r. is a oo o·a ll ery, which is used fo r in doo r track practi ce. 22 ~ c 0 0 ~ c z <( .a: >- . I ~ :J I �G Y MNASIUM INTERIOR GYMNAS I UM �Alumni 0 t h e . lu m ni , th e s t u de n t body o f a ll c li eges. ~ h o u l d e \·e r loo\ z l: ::J .J < fo r in s p irat io n a nd mod els by w hi ch t h ey co u ld s h a pe t h eir ca ree rs, a n d t he co ll ege whi c h ha in its ra nk o £ a lumni me n so s uccessful a nd illu t ri o us as t . J hn's . m ay co n ~ i d e r itse l£ s u pre m ely fo r t un ate. St. J ohn 's lumni have sp read from shore to shore o f our g reat nati on a nd have ca rri ed with them the training and po li . h whi ch St. J ohn 's has g iven t hem. \ \ ' e may j ustly fee l p roud o f these men. for not one o f them has fa il ed h is alma mater in a ny respect. \ Vhen t he co ll ege was in d istress, by reas n o f the g reat fi re, how oTand ly the Alu mni cam e to the fore ! A nd \r hat acri fi ces \\·e re und ergone to succo r her ! These are the kin d of men from whom a coll ege g ain s its r ep utation and glo ry; these a re t he kin d o f men t. John 's ha s always o·iven to the \\·o riel. honC'st. upright a nd tr ue gc nt!c ll l l! ll . May the f ut ure men o f St. Jo hn' . be as loyal a n I ma nl y as t hose gone before, may we always be able to lo k to o ur f ut ure A lumni a nd ay . as \\·e ha ve cione in the past, th ese men a re tru e St. J o hn 's men. 27 �GENERAL L. ALLISON WILMER BISHOP C. K . NELSON , A . a ., PH . D . . D . D . Cleiaml I~inlock ~el on entered St. J o hn' s a s a F reshman in 1868 and oTad~tated in 1872, in the second cla s which g raduated after the Civil \tVar. While m coll ege he ,_vas a member of th e _Glee Club? led a cla ss in ath letics by appointment of Prestd ent Garn tt: sang 111 the ch tr of St. Ann e's hurch; taught a S unday sch ol, and for two yea rs held the hono rabl e positio n o f Librarian. In th e Co llege poem o f about r870 we find thi refe rence: '"~ ex t comes C. K. ?\ elson, Who is stud ying for a preach e r. \iVho knows he may excel Henry \tVard Beecher. " Thi s is a clear prophecy, as Nelson had expected to be eith er a civil engineer o r a banker. It wa " nearl y a year later. and a littl e before hi s 0 oTaduati on in the second rank o f _hi ~. class _with l\Io nroe, Tuck a_nd ~-l ooper, _that he decid ed to study for H oly Ot de t s. 1 htch he dtd under th e cltrectt on o f ht ' uncl e. Dr. ~el so n. :\her a y e~ r sp_ent in \tVashingto n and two years in \'irgi nia. he too k charge o f h_t s fir st pan ~ h 111 Ge rmantown, Philadelphia. where he remained six years . ln ht s second pari ~ h , The .:\Tativity , So uth Bethlehem. Penn sylvania. he remained nm e years. F o r mn eteen years he has been l3i ohop. fir . t o f Geo ro·ia and then of Atlanta. . Bi hop ::--J elso n takes an active interet in hi s Alma ..\fater. and has seve ral ttm e retu:-ned to take a part in impo rtant events conn ected with the Coll ege. 28 Gene ral L. Alli son \tVi lme r wa s born in Charle s County, l\Iaryland, o n September 17 . t849· He was a son of Pere W_ilmer, and hi s mother, befo re her mar~ riage, was S usan R oberts. Hi s m~ther cit Ed befo re he had reached th e ~~e o_t seven year, , and he was rea red by h1 s gr~ndf~ther, the Re~rerend Lemuel \ \ dm e1. who wa Recto r of Port Tobacco Pan sh, 1n Charl es County, for forty- seven yeat·s up t0 hi s 9eath in 1869. The ~, bject o f thi . sketch was educated in the public schools. of hi s native cou nty, at Charlotte 1-]all chool in St. M~ry' s o u_nty. at S t . J o hn a ll ege and at the U ni ve r sity of Maryland. l - e matnculat c\ l1l the l're. hman _Cias o f I John's in September, 1867. and was graduated as fir st ho nor man 111 r871 w1th :ts, later rece_ivin g th e deg:ree ,?f l\Iaster of rts. the degree of Dachelor o f 1 lle was o·, e of th e fo under s o f the "Phtlokal ean Soc1ety. who se name was adopted upon the stwgestion of Dr. W elling, th en Presid ent. I_Je wa s l\Iajor of the Dattalit n i Cadets at St. Jo hn' s College, and. for a tim e, ..\J.1htary In structo r. He was al.:o Librarian during hi s entire co ll ege co urse. Entering th e 'L' niver oity of i\[aryland in 1872. while holdin g a clerkship ~n the U. S. Custo m !-l o use in Baltimor e City. he co mpleted th e Law our e 1n 187-1- receivinrr the degree o f l.\achelo r o f Law s. and comm enced the practice of law in 1 3altimore 11·ith th e late J ohn S. \tVirt, Cla~s o f '72 , t. Jo hn' . In 1881 he return eo to Charl es Co unty upon the advice of th e late Judge Frederi ck Sto ne. of the Court of Appeals of l\Jaryla nd, and has sin ce practiced hi s profess i n there and in the counti es o f .i\Iaryland, with fo me se rvi ce fo r th e Department o f Ju stice at \t\' ashin;::-tc ·1. 5 ?t. 29 �EDW A RD RIDDLE P A D GETT Edward Riddle Padrrett g raduated f rom St. J olm 's Coll ege in 1904. J n th e fa ll of th at yea r he berra n hi s newspaper career as a r epo rter on th e Ci ncinnati E nquire r. A year late r he was made Sunday editor, which positi on he held for two yea rs, leaving th en to become city ed itor of th e K entucky Post, a Sc ripp l\JacRae ]J< •per, publi shed a t Co vington, Yentucky. After a yea r in that positi on he went to \\'ashingt on. D . C., as un day edito r o f th e \iVa shing ton Sta r, whicl1 positio n he has occupi ed fo r th e past two year and is ho lding at th e prese nt tim e. He wa ma rri ed December 16, 1908, to l\Ji s i\laro·a ret Calvert oope r, of \Nashington. D. C. \ Nhil e in coll ege i\ 1r. P adgett wa . a memb er o f th e Phi S ig ma Kappa Fraternity, Philokc lean Society, Glee a nd l\Iandolin lub . o f which he wa s P re ident in hi :' se nio r yea r: manager of th e foo tball team in hi se nio r year: Fir' t Li eutenant Company A; IIop Committee three yea rs : on the Co ll egian and R a tTat Poard: Class baseball team , a nd won th e O rat ri ca! l\J edal in Junio r year. i\lr. Pado·ett was one of th e three men wh o fir st advocated the adop ti on o f th e Ho nor Srtem at St. J ohn 's. H e, wit h J o hn H odges and Ve rno n Beachl ey, all of 'o4, started the campaign in th eir enior yea r a nd for abo ut six month s were very un pop ular among th eir classmate fo r doing so . J\Iass meetin gs we re held in chapel dnd ball ots taken-res ulting eve ry tim e in th e defeat of the system. T he exempt featu re of th e Flonor yste m now in vogue wa s not th en consid ered. Th e campa ig n was solely fo r a strict obse rva nce o f th e H o not· ystem in examinatiom•. 30 DR . S A M U EL MITCH E L L WAGA M A N Dr. Samuel :.\Jitchell Wag aman. A. D., B. S. (S t. Jo hn 's. 1893): A. :.\J. , (St. John 's , 1909 ); l\[. D. ( Cn ive rsity o f Penn sy lva.nia , 190 1) . wa s bo rn tn .\\ a ~ h­ ington Cot mty . l\Iaryland. in 1873. 1-Iis prelim111ary. edu catton was recet:ecl t he publi c schools and in the \iVa shingto n oun ~ Htg h Sc hoo l, from w~11ch l~e was gTaclua tecl in 1889. H e was a stud ent ~t Bethany oll ege. Betl:any. \Ve~t \"iro·i nia , d uring th e session o f 1889-90. and 111 1890 entered St. J ohn s. \Vhile at t. J ohn 's Dr. VVao·aman was not promin ent . in athl etics. but to~k high positi on in scho larship whil e studying fo r th e Bachelor s degree 111 both ~\1 ~ ~ and Scienr.e. He wa s th e fir st Sop homo re to rep resent etth er o f th e lttet a t) societies a orato r o n th e occas i n o f th e annual celebrat ion. bemg th e orator .f o:the P hil omathean Society in Jun e. 1891. ]J e was P res id ent o f ht s class durmg the _ phon to re. Juni or and Senio r years. u : :\ ftcr g raduatin g in 1893 he traveled in. th e o uth for a_ co mm ~rc i a l. h o ~t-~e: In Octo be;· he was elected principa l o f th e l\ [tdd leto wn H w h Schoo l tn Ft ecl et tck County. Ma ry la nd. which pos iti on he held unti September . .1897· _ when he entered lhe l\Iedical Depa rtm ent of th e l: nive r s i~y o f Pen n.s):lvatn a. L 1~0 1.1 g~·~cl­ uating in IIted icine in 1901 he was appo inted restclent phystCJa n .tn th e L n1 v~ 1 ~ ~t~ llo. pita!, P hiladelph ia , but r esig ned to take up th e ge neral practtce of mecltctm . Dr. \Vag<tman res id e. in I Jagerstown, l\Jarylancl . wh ere he enj oys,a large practice. l-le is a member o f D elta Tau Delta v rater111ty a.ncl of th e [ enn sy lvania Chapter of the Alpha l\f u P i Omega l\led ical v rate r111t_v. 31 �DR . FRED JOHN CRONK , S . S . A . M . , M . D . D r. Fred J ohn Cronk was born in th e year 1882. He g raduated from th e 'Winfie ld Academy in 19 00. H e entered the Sophomore Class o f St. J ohn' s College In t he fa ll o f t he sam e yea r. H e wa s a member o f th e Coll ege Glee Club, Ph ilokai ean Society, managing staff o f th e Rat-Tat in 19 02 and o f th e Coll egia n in 1903 ; Quartermaster- Se rgeant in t he battali on, and g raduated with th e degree o f B. S. in ] un e, rgo3. Dr. Cronk entered th e i\1 edi cal D epartm ent o f J o hn s Hopkin s U niversity in the sam e year in whi ch he g radua ted from St. J ohn' s. H e wa s sub stitute on the Intern e Staff o f Jo hn s Hopkin s H m pita l in th e spring o f 1907: g raduated with th e drgree o f M . D. in that year. Du ring th e comm ence ment ex ercises o f St. J ohu· s Co l1 ege in Jun e, 1907, th e degree o f A. M . wa s conferred upon him . S ince that tim e he has been appointed on the resid ent house staff o f Lakeside H osp ital, Cleveland. O hio, and later as Seni or R es= dent houoe staff o f St. Agnes' H ospital, Baltim or e, Maryland , each o f whi ch positi ons he fi lled for two year5. H e is now sucrtss fu lly practi cin g . urge ry in Ka la mazoo, M ichig an. 32 33 �SPE!'<CE R D . HOPKINS (" Sh o rty") ..... onan coc k. V a. J . M ASON HU N DLEY (" Mik e") . . . . . . .. Ba lti m o r e. M el. <I> K Latin-Sc ientific. S er gea nt- Maj o r (3) : T o" ·n a n d Ca m pus E di to r R at Tat (3). "Cyni ci m b ege ts g r uchin e s." H is nam e u sed t o be "Little Hop ." but mu ch t o hi s di sgu st, hi s cla ss mat es pers i t in callin g him " Lit t le T. " Th e reason t h er eof is one of th e m yste n es yet un so lved. ''Little T ." mad e a jump pa r - wo ndr o u s : h e was. app mt ed corpo r a l ; th er e up o n he tm m ecltate ly. a nd ju s t ly rai sed a howl, a nd 111 ra tstn g afo r esa id howl was m ade ser geant- m ajo r- he go t a mouthful. ' 'L itt le T." isn' t a la r ge man. bu t ju st a sm a ll , li tt le sca lawag. a nd if you ca n' t see him ju st li ste n a nd you'll kn ow h e is a ro un d. H e a nd Mill er ofte n get togeth er a nd l ovin g ly(?) co nfid e wh at t hey t hink of eac h o th e r mu ch to the deli g ht of th ose w ho hea r. ''I kn ow I ' m too sh ort t o be major, bu t, loo k a t Napo leo n." R. S. HOPKI \'S ('' Sk inn y' ') . . . . . ... . . O na nc oc k, V a . <I> K La tin-Sci e ntifi c. Vice-Presid ent Class (3): C ha irm a n Jun e Ball Committ ee (3); S er gea nt Co . '' C" (3); At hl e t ic Edito r R a t Tat (3) . "As k ind a nd ge n tle as a la mb." Kow h ere is a yo un g fell ow who has bee n in th e cla ss of 19 12 sin ce its fr es h>-~~ m a n d ays , a nd a nyone wh o can te ll what ;'.~~?:::.~. h e kn ows bes ide s a thl e t! ~s. de se rv es a ~~g;-1,m eda l. No t t hat "S ktnn y ts a n a th lete. ~w~ oh. no! but if h e had as mu ch bra wn a s he has s ptnt. he wo uld b e a s peed er. : ~· Thi s m a n is a li vin g cata logu e of at h~ letes a nd ath let tc tea m s . and we hea r 1 that Spaldin g Co. is go in g to m a ke "Hop " edit o r o f th eir a thl eti c g uid e, ju t as soo n a s he gets tired of sc hoo l. U nlik e hi s co usin "T--dy," "Skin ny" do es not bo th er hi s hea d over th e "fe mm es." a nd is perfectl y ha ppy w he n h e can call a m ee tin g of the pea nu t bri g ad e . go clown tow n a nd drink ha lf th e o da " ·ater in Green' Dru g Stor e. 58 J \ ' <I> :$ K L a tin-S cie nti fic. Ex - Co rp o ra l Band (3): F u sse r (1) (2) (3) (oo). "Like a diam o nd in the w hirl of soc iety.'' i\J,, D ea r es t J ac k: Yo ur le tt er r ece ive d: now we re you ju s t kiddin g o r d id you r ea ll y m ea n it' J ac k. dear , I h ea r y o u a r e runn in g with th ose ho rrid g irl s in A nn apo li s. No w yo u kn ow . dea r Ja ck. that is n' t ni ce when I a m here all a lone. T'm so g lad t he bo y s let you j o in the ir class. A nd y o u sa id yo u we r e a co rp o r al in t he band (yo u mu st hav e loo ked rea l c u te w ith t ha t bi g drum ) : bu t now I have r ead in th e pape r that yo u ha ve r es ig n ed. No w, J ac k, w hy d id you do that' I a lways did think th e bo y s r eal cut e " ·it h a ll that go ld o n the ir s leeves. So yo u a re tuclying ha t·cl: now that is ju st fi ne. a nd fo r ., goocl ne s' sa ke d o n't let th ose g irl s ta ke(','' yo ur mind o ff yo ur boo ks aga in. Oh. · ,. yes! I a lm ost for got : wh o is t hi s ''Eel -'1 di e" o f whom you w rit e so mu c h ? H e mu s t be awf ull y wi l d. is n't he? Yo u ha d b ett er watch him . Now, J ack. cl ea r, b e a voo cl boy a nd d o n't stay o ut la te at ni g ht. Yo ur GERTRUDE. \VILLI AM JO NES (''Reddy'' ) ... .... . ... A nnap o li s, i\I d. <I>M La ti n-Sc ien t i fie. Corpo ral Co. "C" (3); Ass is ta nt Li te ra r y E di to r R atT at ' I I (3). '' What he kn ows. nobody else know s ." ' ·Reddy" is a s pee det·: ha s bee n a sp eed er. a nd a lway w ill be a p ee cl er. She ta lks a bo ut s kippin g " Turk," but neve r does. D o n' t t hink t ha t is th e o n ly thin g o f w hi ch " R eddy" ta lks. It is n' t. Far be it fr o m s uch. She's r ed -head ed a nd tri es to ta lk everybo d y r ecl -hea cl ecl. a nd th e wo rs t of it is . sh e nea rl y does it . Ye, " R eddy " is Iri s h. r ed-hea d ed a nd ta lka t ive; o u ts id e o f t ha t, s he's all ri g ht. Sh e's a good stud e nt. to o; a lways stand s 'wa y up a m o ng t he bi g numb ers . "Redclv" h a a n un co mm o n ly good brac e. to o. a nd at drill is o n e of "C" Co mpan y's lumin a ri es in m o r e way. than o ne. Don ' t tease h er, a nd s he' ll ea t o ut o f yo ur ha nd. Everyb o dy li kes R edd y. for s he neve r tri es to ril e anyo ne. "Yess ir, tha sso." 59 ( I 0 �( • WILH ELi'vl LE:\TZ ("G r e tc he n' ') . ... .. Catonsv ill e, !. I d K Lati n-Sc ie n t ific. BE:\ J A MIJ\ U C H AELSON ("Mike") <I? <I? Lat in-Sc ie n t ific. Coll egian Boa r d (2); C ia H isto rian (2); Secretary Cla ss (3): S e rgea nt Co. "A " (3); Star S eco nd Grad e Ce rt iticate (2) ; L it e rary Ed ito r R a t-T a t ' 11 (3): B oa rd ing C lub Co mmitt ee (3): P. H. F . 0 . A. (3); Jun e Ba ll Co m mitt ee (3). "C': ta r S eco nd G ra d e Ce r tilicate (2): Se r gea nt .co. (3) : H op Co mm ittee (3 ); Ju ne Ba ll Comm it ,ee (3), Ass ista nt Ed ito r -in -C hi e f Rat-Tat ' 1 1 (3): A ssis tan t Man ager Ba ke tb a ll Team (3 )_: Trea ur e r Y. Il l. C. A. (3); P. Fl . F. 0. A. (3): T e nn is T eam (2). !\nd h e swo r e a g r eat oa t h, " Ach!" Bar n von L e nt z, at yo ur e rvi c;e . sir e. Be ho ld t he s le21cl e r . i iln oc e n ~ li g ur e as it a pproac h es . 1 o uc h It not. t1s sac r eel . I f yo u d es ir e a stu dent. a ma n, o r a lo ve r. l e nd m e you r ea r s w hil e l expla in t hi s s pec im e n . Bo rn a nd r a ise d 111 th e w ild s of Ca t o nsv ill e. at t h e age of t e n wa s s hipp ed to St. J o hn' s in a boxca r. ?\ow loo k a nd see wh at a c ha nge t\\'o yea r s of co ll e!Ye li fe .has. b ro u?-"ht a bo u t! Eve ry po rti o n of h 1s hgur e has alter ed. exce pt hi s ha ir, . w h1 c h co nt inu es to s ta ncl o n e nd . D o [ bo r e you . k111 cl r ea de r ? I o nl y w is h to pa int a p ic tur e of th e g r eat ness o f thi s m an, wh o . f o r t"·o long years ha s sipp ed t he nec tar rJ t t h e bro th e rh oo d a nd neve r lowe r ed hi S ;; ta ndard. ''Does h e k no w it ? 0 \ V eil. l g u ess." )like is th e ba se ba ll h er o of th e Juni o r Class. No t o nly is thi s lad a ba se ba ll fi e nd, but. in hi s s tudi es is g iving "B ut te rb all " a rub , \v ho t r em ble. \\'h e n he loo ks at " Mik e's" m a rk s. H e att e nd s to no bo cly's bu s iness but h is ow n a nd alw ay s ha m o r e tha n he ca n do. ''M ik e" wa s m ade a Aoo r -o ffi ce r in P inkn ey t hi s yea r , but he g r ew lo nely -=e a nd d ec id ed that he needed a pa rtn e r. so he t oo k un de r hi s p r o tec t io n t he pe t of Jun ior F loo r . Some p eo ple do n o t th ink th a t Mi ke is a love r. b u t do n' t belie ,·e it : ju s t watc h h im s pru ce u p so m e Sund ay ni g ht a nd nea k o ff cl o w n tow n. Thin gs a r e no t a l\\' ay w hat t hey see m . " I gegoggle cl him." FRE DERl CK A. MILLER ( "fr ed" ) .. H age r s to w n, l\Icl . F RED E RI CK S. MATTI:-! EWS ("li la t ty"), L a P lata. i\ld . <I? K Lati n-Sc ie nti fic. Secretary Class (2): Co rp o ra l Co. " B " (2); Se r gea nt Co. " C" (3); A lumni Editor R a t -T at ' 1 1 (3); H o p Co m mitt ee (3): Jun e B a ll Co mmi ttee (3). .. Artl ess ness is a g ift ." wlatty, up o n hi s a r r ival at St.Jo hn 's. wa s p r o mpt ly ta ke n un de r t he k1n d a nd p rotec tin g(?) w in g of "Tomm y" lllud d; aft e r '·To mmy' s" depa r tur e. h e turn ed 111 his lo neso m e ne s to "Doc" Pay n e. " :\l atty" is a lik eab le boy and n ever b o th e r s a ny one, exce pt w it h h is e t e rn a l how lin g fo r "D oc." H is sol e pa st im e i ea tin g-ice c rean1 . pi e. s cla - w a t c ~· , so u p-in fact, anyt hi ng he ca n get hi S h a nd o n . a nd w he n it 's all ove r. h e wa n ts m o r e. H e is noto ri o us for sw ipin g bread fr o m the M ess Hal l. to t ide him ove r un t il n ext m o rnin g. " !fat ty " has n eve r b ee n kn o wn to g t exc ited, but w e nd s hi s qui e t way in p ea ce a nd t ra nqui li ty , wit h neve r a w o rr y for th e n1 o rr o ,v . 60 Ga ll o way, Md . K <l> M Lati n-Sc ie nti fic . C lass Hi s tor ia n (3): S e r gea n t Co. ''B " (3) : Ass is tant L it e ra ry Ed ito r R at-Tat ' 1 1 (3) . '·vVh e n l ope m y li p s le t no o t h e r clog ba rk. " H a rk'-\ V hat ea r -s pl itting so und is tl:a t-~ev e r b e r a t i ng t h r Olw h t h e co rri do r s of Juni o r F loo r ' Aga in , we hea r it-a h ! ' T is th e m elo clio u vo ice of C:: " F r ed. " t h e H ea p B ig No ise Mak e r. ca ll . , . in g " M iss Ir a.'' Fri e nd s. le t us not li nge r up o n t hi s p oo r boy's fai li ngs-ju s t loo k at h i p ic tur e. I t is s uffi cie nt t o say th a t h e ca m e t o us as a o ph., a nd we hea r d him co min g fr o m a fa r. In a debate he i · s im p ly t e rri fic . and " ·he n he , s w itc h es hi s s po t- li g h t s u po n hi s op pone nt s. t h e ir next m ove is ca pitu lati o n . A id e fr o m th e cl ea r c hild 's pec u li a rit ies, he has cl o ne mu c h fo r wh ic h w e ca n be p r o ud to have h im in o ur mid s t, nota bl y. t he \\'innin g of th e O ne J-Ju ncl r ecl Dol la r Math. P ri ze in hi s Sop h. year. I- r ed beca m e t ir ed of Ju ni o r F loo r and d ragged hi s fre ig ht to P in k ney a nd i livin g in /'--...! bli s w it h ''M ik e." -- - · ~ ~ . ''D u tc h . t h ey t r ea t m e lik e a cl og." 61 �lR A E. RYD E R (" ~li ss Ira'') .... .. . . .. jac kso nvill e, F la. L. E. PAYNE (" D oc") .. . ... . . .. ... . . L eo na rd town. ?l i d. <l> <l> .:E K; <l> K K L at in- S cienti fic. Boa r d in g Club (2) (3); M isce ll a n eo u Tat (3); Co q Jo r a l Co . '' B" (3). Latin-Sc ie nt ilic . Track T ea m ( r ) (2) (3); Capta in Track T ea m (3): o r poraJ Co. "A" (3): Secreta1 Y. 1\J. C. A. (3) . ·y Ed itor R at- '' H er face is like th e milky way in th e kyA m eetin g of ge ntl e li g ht s with ut ;, na n1 e." "I des ire it: th er efo r e it sha ll be.'' 'vV e now h ave b e fo r e u s th e ho n o r ab le ge ntl em a n fr o m old St. Ma ry's, th e o ne g r eat o rato r of t. J ohn 's. H e e ~ ­ j oys g r ea tly to clo se t h1m sel f 1n . h1 h umbl e abode a nd d ell ver selec tiOn S from L ongfell ow, mu ch to the di str t;ss of hi s n eig hb o r . '' D oc" 1s so m e 'Y1se g uy: if y o u wa n t to kn ow a nythmg Jt.l st go and as k him . H e takes a g r eat ln ter e t in everythin g a r o und coll ege, a s h e has pro ven to u s by hi wonderf ul accomo li shm ent in r eli ev in g u s of th e nota bl e Reamer. l:-1 er e. kind r ea le1·. yo u see ~Ji ss Tra . the o nl y li vin g b e in g who ca n run a hun dr ed in 14 flat. Eve1· ince h er a rrival ~tt St. J o hn ' . from th e wa mp s of F lo rIda , her m a in as pirati o n has bee n to mak e th e track team . and in th is sh e has b ee n r eward ed. \ Ve ca n well call her a lady o f g1 ·it, co ura ge a nd e ndur a nce. beca u e of th e mann er in w hi ch sh e wit h stood t he te rri ble attac k of Brot he r Ri ggin a nd h is Fo ur t h F loor Soc iety. 1\i iss 1ra u sed to be a good stud e n t: but fa ir fe minin e char m s have at las t ca ptured he r o ul. a nd, after two yea rs' expe rie nce. sh e st ill s in gs th e o ld so n g, '' Gee . I wi h I ha d a g irl li ke the ot her fe ll ows have." .---~0----------- C. H. RI GG I N ("P r es id ent Ri ggin s") .. . . . . H e bro n , ~ld . <l> K L at in-Scienti fic . R. E . STALEY ('' Dutc h " ) . ...... . ... . .... JC rede ri ck , P r es id en t Fo ur t h F loo r Soc ie ty (2) : Second G r ade Cert ificate (2); F irs t S er gea n t Co . ."B" (3) : ss ista 11 t Baseba ll M a nage r (3): Hum o r o u s Editor R at -Tat (3). Class ica l. Se1 ·gea n t Ba nd (3); B us in ess Manage r R at- T at (J). ''T he r e was a so und o f r evelry by ni g h t." C. H o ll a nd. in hi s ea rl y coll ege car ee r. was, a nd. fo r that m a tt e r. st ill is. to a ce rt a in ex te n t, quite a st ud e nt. He is a n ea rn e t. ha rd a nd e ffi cie nt worker. Towa rd th e middl e of hi s Sophomore year h e b r a nc h ed o u t in ot her co ll ege act iviti es . a nd a now m ost r en ow ned trait of hi s, na m ely . hi s hum or, revea led itse lf. This r es ul ted in th e fo rm ation "----"'!5---'1""<-o----'-. of a 4th fl oo r soc iety with Ri gg in a pres ident. and in c identa ll y ch ie f h - ra ise r. Hi s a bility a a leade r of m en wa s promptly recogn ized b y Lieutenant F ish er, and Ri ggin was a pp o in ted fi r st f-..' .J._...::..:.:__---'-1 se r gea nt of ''B'' Co. With hi s fa it h ful w ife, J ay, Ri ggin '.L__I!_':~----<{t has built u p an ex t ens ive book bu sin ess -:,;____!:..=~=-- and has mad e q ui te a lit t le fo r t un e by " rloi ng'' l'vcrybo dy. 62 ~l ei. <l>M " Set a seal up o n my lip Beho ld a m a n fl- o m t he g r eat m et r opoli s of Wester n Marylan d. H agerstown: a m an who has su cc essfu ll y w ith. tood "Doc" Payn e's bur nin g sa r casm. He is a g r eat li te ra ry soc iety man. a nd w ill ca ll down a ny m a n from a professo r to th e lowest prep \\' ho fails to at"' tend th e m eetin gs. "Du tch" is al so pre ~ 1d ent of t h e Yo un Men's D e mora li zing ') 11\.( =;I -Club, which he we ll d ese r ves .;pj: ~ '\., -@ . . '( .-) / "':_ '9B ut with a ll th ese vi r t ues he has hi s o· -~ ",-L:t fa ul ts. He is a good t ud ent a nd a -::::::::-~.,. m e mb er of t he ba nd. Hi m a nn er of ·-/' --._ s peec h in r ec itin g i o. fast t ha\ profs. wo n der h o w h e ta lk s w1th o ut breat hin .,.. ( \ \ l:-le ex p ec ts to ho ld "Bob" White's p la;e in Gr ~e k so m e d ay . f ~ I ju t fo r today." .\ 63 �A. E VERETT W JLUAMS (" J ay '') .. . . . . Sa li sbury, Mel . <1.> ~ K; <I> M L a t in-Scientifi c . Hi s t o ri a n ( l ) : · Class Vi ce-Pres id ent (2); Co rp o r al Co . '' B" (2) : Firs t S er geant Co. " C" (3); Pr e id ent of C lass (3); Bu s i·ness J\ll a nage r R a t-T a t (3); G lee Club a nd Orch es tr a ( r (2) (3): Jun e Ba ll Co mmit tee (3) . .. Mu sic ch a rm s · th e sa vage brea s t." " J ay" has a p ec uli a r l eanin g towa rd mu sic in all it branc he Thi w as fir st m a nifes ted to o ur mi s fo rtun e in hi s Fres hm a n y ea r. wh e n h e sta rt ed o p er at io ns o n t ha t in s trum ent o f aur icu la r to rtur e. k no wn as th e oc t a rin a. o n whi ch. a ft er a year o f co nsta nt effo rt, h e co uld p la y " Dow n in Jun g le T o wn." T\ o w he ha s tran sfe rr ed t he sc en e o f ac t io n t o •he b ea utiful f·l ute. As a trump e t ~ r " '' · no un c in g th e e ·s io n s o f t h e n o ble fo u rth fl oo r society h e wo n undyin g fa m e. "J ay" ha s a n eye t u bu sin ess . a n<.i hi s m o no p oly "' ith hi s w ife, of o ur boo k oupply . ha lef t u poo r er but wi se r. 1-l e i> quit e a " savvy" g uy, th o ug h . a nd man aJ2'eS t o kee p o n th e exe mpt list q uit e co ns is ten t ly. On e fur t h er po int to hi s c r edit is th a t h e has neve r bee n kn o " ·n to bo rro w o r le nd a ce nt. GEO . L. Wl :'\S LO W ( "W in dy") ("Li zz ie"), Ba lt im o r e, 1Id . <I>~ K; <1.> M Cia s ica !. Cl ass S ec r e ta r y ( 1) : S e r gea nt Co. " B' ' (3); A is ta nt F oot ba ll M a nage r ( 3); H o p Co mmittee (3); B u s in ess M a na ge r R a t-T a t (3); Jun Ha ll Co mmitt ee (3) . " A bli th e h;,a rt mak e VI Sage . M A RK V . ZI EG L E R (" L a nky") . .. ... W es tmin ste r. Md . <I>M La tin-Scientific . M a ndo lin a nd G lee Cl u o (3); Rat - T a~ Boa rd (3) . '' H e could o n e ith er side di s pu te. Co n fut e. c han ge ha nd s a nd st ill co nfute." Th is le ng thy. la nk y o uth cam e to us fr o m Ge tty sbu r g Coll ege l ast fa ll. H e imm edi a tely jo in ed t h e ''p r e p. oc iety" o f jun io r floo r. and c h ose A ndr ew as hi s w ife. Th ey liv ed ve ry ha ppi ly until F it zge r ald wooed a n d wo n " S lee py ,' ' wh er e up o n " L a nky's" fami ly tr o ubl es bega n. Th ey w e re fi n all y sm oo th ed ove r by a n exc ha nge o f wiv es b e t wee n " L a nk y" and F it zge r ald . " L a nky" is a t h i bes t in o ra to ry a nd de ba tin g. 1-1 is o nly tro ubl e is th a t h e o fte n fo r gets wh ic h s ide h e is o n a nd g ives va lu a bl e ass istan ce to hi s o ppo n ent s. a bloo min g ~t, Ce rt a inl y hi s v isage is b loo min g eno u g h fo r hi s h ea r t to be b li t h e. and it wa f o r thi s r easo n th a t h e w o n hi s so br iq u et of " Fa ir L iz." H e wa pa rt ia ll y tam e d by a yea r in th e p r e p. c hoo l. but still has roo m fo r improv rn e nt, as y o u ca n w ell jud ge wh en you hea r him b ell o win g in c ha pel. " L iz" ">--..,.-,""'- t ri es ha rd to be seda te a nd di g ni fie d. bu t s imply ca n't. th at' a ll. '' vVind y" has b lo o m ed o u t in to a li r t-c lass fusse r in t h e la st y ea r o r . o, ~ nd 't is said h e has g r ea t success in th at lin e. As k so m e o ne w ho k no ws. H e at te nd s eve ry ho p now aday s: is it b eca u se h e is o ne o f th e tri o o f 19 12 b ea uti es? 64 __L 65 �Ex--1912 History of the Class of 1912 "Chink" Molland "Shoontz" JOnes "George" DaviS "Pat" PendleTon "Monk" InSinger "Bill" STaley "Kerns" KendRick "Doc" CArver "Bill" PaYne "Gran'ma" NoblE "Marie" Deets " Fats" PollOck ''Groomy'' WheeleR "Puddin'" RosS "Marie" DeeTs "Mick" PulOs ''Frenchy" Lavigne "Bull" CrEw "Country" FiNkbine 66 I N D read ers, you may have g ath ered fro m vari o us and di ve rse ources the g lori ous hi story and the memo rable ri se and fall o f R ome; yet your education would be far from compl ete if you have not a kno wledge o f the noble class o f 19 1 2 o f St . John 's College- a class which has built itself upon so firm a foundation th at it will last until every member has peri shed, and then our memory shall go clo wn to posterity. O n a balmy clay in September, 1908, there as emblecl from the four corners o f th e g lobe, nam ely, New Y ork, Florida, Washing ton State and Ea stport, the yo uth s to whom belongs the honor o f being the class of 19 1 2. Wh en all the future classmates had arrived it was fo und that they were forty-two in number . At fir st we were received very hospitably, but on Friday nig ht we were treated to the g reatest ( ?) event o f our live . On that occasion we were g iven th e warm est reception mortal at any tim e before or since received. It seemed as if all to rtures ever invented were practiced upon us, but after it wa s all over we were still on our feet . Thi s ability to stand on our feet under all circum stances is one o f our g reat characteri stics. A fter that Friday nig htala s ! who o f us can ever fo rget it-the Sophomores ag reed to aboli sh hazing on condition that we obey certain rul es. W e obeyed them only too willing·ly, and were, therefore, never molested. Our men th en settled clo wn to work, both in athl etic and academic lin es. Althoug h we did not accompli . h much in ath leti cs, only one man getting on th e football team, yet several o f our number won positions on the . econcl team. Vve are the main stay o f the track team o f the college, for in thi s department Gail ey, R yde r and Broadrup are o f superb ability. In base ball al so we suppli ed a few players. Crew was th e varsity catcher and Michaelson is substitute. In our academic wo rk during the F resh · man year we establi shed th e standard o f hig h scho la sti c attainm ent, for which we a re noted. A fter th e encampment, Jun e week, and the commencement excrci es were over we return ed home, much wiser han when we arrived an d with num erous resolutions o f wh at we would do th e fo llowing September. Th e fall o f 1 909 found us r eturning to our clear old coll ege. and each feeling th e g rave responsibility o f a Sophomore. A ll o f our men did not return , but th eir places were fill ed by th e new men, Mill er, Chri stian , L entz and Staley. O f course we appr eciated our pos iti ons after th e tri als o f th e year before. No o ne th ere was to say "Go clow n town and get me a piece o f pi e,'' 67 �CLASS OF 1913 MOTTO Prudentia et virtute COLORS Brow-n and White CLASS YELL Rah! Rah! Rah! Re! Re! Re! Brow-n and White! S. ]. C. Rickety rex! Rickety reen! St. Johns! '13, '13, '13. CLASS OFFICERS JOHN WILSON President WILLIAM WOODWARD OLIN T. BROADWATER - - Vice-President Secretary CLINTON F. PHILLIPS Treasurer ]. PAUL JACOBS Historian G. ENFIELD McNUTT Sergeant-at-Arms 70 �• SOPHOMORI!: CLASS �R oRERT V. H o rF MAN . "Bonn y" ........ .. .. . . ... .. . . . ..... Hager sto w n , ~ I d . ''I a m no t in t he r o ll o f commo n m en .., J. PAu L J ACOBS, "YocKs '' .. . ........ . . . .. . . . . . .. . ... . . . . .. M illing to n , Md . " Lazy, sh ift less, good fo r na ug ht. " • EDGA R A. J oNES, " R uN T'' . ....... . . ... ... . .. . . ... .. . .. . P rincess A nne, J\Id " H is id le b ra in w it h id le fa n cies fi ll ed .' ' Class Roll 1913 A. WILLARD J oYCE, " WILLI E'' . . ... . . .. .. . .. .. . . . .... .. . ... . A nn apo lis, M d . " T hi s fe llo w' s w ise eno ug h to p lay the fool.' ' u : 1.\ROLD \ :-~ DR E W . .. r\N nY' ' ....... . ... . ... . . .. . ... . . . .. ... . . . . De nto n , i\·Id . ·'S he sleep s ! m y la d y sleep s !" \tV rLLI AM E. KLJ NE FELTER, ''B r LL" . . . . . . . . . . .. .. . . . . .... . ... B a lt im o r e, M d. ' 'Yo u Ca ssiu . ha t h a lean a'ncl h ung ry look .' ' 1 \ Sl r-, '· J o H N NY ' ' ..... . .... . . . .. ........ . . .. .. . . A nn apolis. ~I d. -' J. " A so ft a n s we r t u rneth away wrat h ." EA RL V . L EW IS, '' VENus " ... ... . . . . .. . ........ .. . . ....... F rostburg, M el. " \ t\f isclom is t he principal t hing, th er e fo r e get wi sdo m.'' B R o BERT F. B R.\TTA N, '' . o r. .. . . . . . . . . . .. .. : . ... .. . .. . . :.. P r incess ' A nne . M el . ?' ''A re m o rta ls bo r n to sleep t h etr w retch ed lt ves away. FR ANK E. MA SON. "BI LLIK EN " .. .. . ... . . . . . . ... . ... ..... . . . .. . Ea to n , M el . "Ho w da nge ro u s is it t ha t t his man goes loose !'' 1:3RO.\DW.\T ER . ' ' SEE ... ... . ... . . . . . . . . ..... . . ... .... G r a ntsvi ll e. M d. " For h e h a d uch beautiful eyes.'' C. CA r.VE RT MAG RUDER. ' ' i\JA GGl E" . . ..... . ... . . . . . ..... . ... .. .Ann apo li s, M el . "And st ill o ur wo nde r g rew C.\MPfl ELL, " D EA RI E... . ... . . .... .. . .. . . .. .. . . .. .. Ba ltimo r e. Mel . Ho w o n e sm a ll head oo uld ca r r y a ll he k ne w .., L YNDE D . M cCoRMICK. " M rc K' ' ...... . ... . . . .. .. . . . . . . .... . .-\ nn a po lis, M el . '" J OH N vv . T Ou . N D .\ NIEL E. " A child was I , a st r ipli ng lad. My ch eek s w ith yo ut h' s fir st blossom s clad.'' 11. M I LTON CECI L, ' 'T URK ... .. ... ... .. . .. . .. ... . . .. . . . .... . . H ig hl a n d , ~Id . " 0 w a d som e po w ' r t he g i fti e g ie u s T o see o ur el' s a s ithe r s ~ee us." RUM, ' ' C RUMMY ..... ... . .. . . . . . . .. . . .. . ... . .. .... . .. .. . At he n s, P a. E \RL E C ~. · '·He !'eldo m ~ mi l es, a nd sm il es in such a ~o rt , . . . , As if h e scorn ed hi m self a nd m ocked ht s sp m t . r E D l" ' i)I7N' , " Puss" .. .. . . .... . .. . . . . . . . .... . . ... . . . S no w H ill , M el . uEORGE . '' ·'F at paun ches have lea n p at es .' ' E DGA R T . FE LL , NY .. .. .. . .. .. . . . . . . .. ... .. . .. ... . . . .. .Ann apo lis, Mel . " O h ! excellent yo un g ma n .'' \• . S TEW.\ RT f'n zcE R.\ LD, " F ITz" .... . ..... . ........ .. . P rincess A n ne, M el . V .. A t hin g o f beauty is a joy fo rever ." GEORGE GEIU NG . "P IP.. . . . .. . ..... ' . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . ' . ' I ndia n I--:Iead , Mel. ' ' S KI N "Fo r gen iu s is m e r ely a g reat cap acit y fo r w o r k.' ' AR NOLD G u DDEN . ·'L o SE .. . . . . . . . . . . . ... ·. · · · · · · · · · · · · · "Fo r B rut u s is a n ho no ura ble m a n ." · · · · .-\ nn apo li s, M el . J ;yH N \tV. H o LMAN . ·' :'.1:.\ DON NA" . . . . . . . .... .. . . .. . . . . . . . . . Fri en d svi ll e, M(l. " H e t hin ks too much ; s uch m en a r e dangero u s.' ' \tV . !VL\R VJ N H u TCHI NS , " P ER UNA .. ... . . . .. . . . .. .. .. .. ·. · · · · · . \ t\f illo w s, M el. "T he g las. o f fa sh io n a nd t he mo uld o f fo rm.' ' F RAN K E . H u TCHI NSON . "TOAD .. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . Fairm ont , \ IV. Va. " T h eir t ri ck s and er a ft h a' made m e cia ft , T h ey 've ta'en m e in and a ' t h at, B u t c lear yo u r d eck s a nd h e r e's 'T h e Sex.' I li ke t he ja des f o r a ' t hat." 72 nN K C. MELLON, " D u TCic ' . .. . .. .. .. ............... . .... . . E a ston , NJ:cl . r' F1 '' A yo ung ma n vo id o f u nde r stand ing." G. ENFI ELD McNUTT, "NuTTs " . . .. .. . . .... . .. .. ... ..... . ... .. Be rke ly, i\Id . " Hi wit i. a t h ick a a T e wk bury mu ta rd ." C LARE NCE J . M ORGAN, "RUl\f MY'' .. . . .. .... .. . ... ... . . .. . . . Frostb urg, ''They who tar ry at t he wine cu p. " C LI NTON T . P HILLIPS, "Dr cK " . .. .. . . . . .. ..... ... .. . .. . . . . Camb rid rre "A w ise son m aketh a g lad fat h er ." "' ' \tVI LLI AM A . R u HL, " .Q u TCI ' .... . .. . . . . . . . ... . ... . ... . . .. . B a ltimo re, ·l' ''\Vha t rosy bl u sh m a ntles that m a n ly bro w! " G. \tVA LTER Sc HUL Z, "Sc rn xrz " . . . .. . .... .. .. . ... . . . . . ... . .. A n na po li s. ''For I pro fess no t ta lking ." T HOM.\ S \tV. S Pl CKNA LL, "S PIT BA LL ... . .. . . . . . . . . . ... .. . .. .. . . B altim o r e, "A ra g . a bo ne, a n d a hank o f lur id ha ir .' ' GEO RGE \ V. T ono. JR., "CAESA R'' .. . . . . . . .... . .... ....... .. . .. S a lisbury, '' B ut a ltho va nqui shed he co uld a rg ue ~t ill. " R. A LEXAN DER T ENNANT, " Au:x '' ..... . ................ .. .. .. :\Jicl la ncl , " I speak it a nd m y wo rds are o r a cl e . .' ' !\" rAL F. Twi GG, "B IRDM AN'' . . . . . . . ... ....... .. . . .. .. . .. . . C umberland , "A fool a lso is f ull o f w o rd s. ' R oBE RT S . G. \tVELCH, " R OBBI E' ' ..... . .... . . .. ...... . . . ..... A nn apo lis, ' 'Tho u a r t a . w ise a s t ho u a r t beautiful.. , J o H N \ NILSON, ' ' S HONN IE Buc K' ' . . . . . . .. . .. .. . . . ..... . .. .. . Ti lg hma n , " L o r d! \ i\f h at fools so m e m o r t a ls b e." \ iVILLIAM R. \ i\fooDWARD, " \tVooDIE" . . . .. . ... . . . . .. .. ... . . . . A nn apo li s, "And e 'en his fa ilings lean ed to vi rtue's side.' ' 73 Mel. ~ Icl . M el . M el. Mel. l\Jcl . i\Id . M.d. M el . M el . Md . �F ell , F itzge rald. A ndrew. Schulz , J oyce, Ruhl, Campbell and B rattan did ex ceptionall y rroocl wo rk. Thi s is the reco rd o f the achi evements o f o ur Freshmen clay s, and we are ju stly pro ud o f it. Sophomore History 0 b egin at th e b eginnin rr, th e n a tal day o f " 13" _w as Sept e mbe r 15, 190 9. Th e bea u tiful old campu s seem ed fa1rl y awake aft ~ r its three m o nth s of s lumb er. "Old" m en w ere coll ect ed 111 ~ ") g ro ups, here and th e re, o n th e wa lks, talkin g of vacati o n o r ~ Jf?J of football pros p ects and s izin g up th e lat es t arri val s. H e re and th ere a fo nd parent was bu stlin g ab o ut , o ffici o us ly . laun chin o hi s so n fairly o n hi s coll ege ca reer, o r ha vin g bu to· . t o nholed a "prof ' and di latin g o n th e s upe ri o r a ttainm ent s of hi s yo un g ho peful. Call ow yo uth s fro m th e " backwoods " we re a in:l ess ly s trollin g abo ut , no t "ga zin g in op en-mo uthed wo nd e r" as th ey do 1n th e po pular mag a zin es, but as ·tunin g a sophi st ica t ed air . In s ho rt, th e _ ampu s c presented th e sam e s pectacl e which it had presented o n th e prececlln g o ne hundred and twenty o penin g clays o f S t. J o hn's. W e f-ound o n assembling in P inckn ey that o ur class was fo rty-fo ur strong . som e fift ee n o f o ur numbe r havin g b een hand ed do wn t o us fro m th e S t. Jo hn's P reparatory School. \1\fe elected J ohn vVil so n . class presiden_ and vVi~­ t liam W oo dwa rd vice-president. Both di scharged adm1rab ly the duties o f th en- W e no w pass o n to the mo re recent and more impo rtant peri od o f our hi sto ry, the Mecca of every F reshman , th e Sopho mo re year . \ Ve return ed in September, I 9 IO, as Sopho mo res. " the mo narch o f all we surveyed.'' Installed in o ur form er lu x urio us qu a rter s on the first and fo urth A s o f P in ckoor ney, we fo und a bun ch o f F reshmen . Th ey were suffering with exaggera ted ego, a di sease ve ry prevalent, in its incipi ent form , among F reshmen . Vl/e g ently in stru cted th em in th e way they sho uld go and lest they sho uld eve r ag ain fall into evil ways . vVe o rg anized a G. 0. H . Thi s phi lanthropic o rg anization has patiently endured per secution by th e prejudiced F aculty, which persists in mi sund erstanding and mi sco nstruing its nobl e aim s a nd id eal s. In ~ pite o f thi s un sympatheti c attitude o f the Faculty, th e G. 0. H. has to iled unremitting ly fo r th e mo ral and intell ectu al uplifting o f th e F reshm en, and so fa r it has been emin ently succe. s ful. Th ere were ma ny gaps in our ra nks wh en we return ed. b~1t we have been to so me extent recompen sed fo r th e loss of th ese by th e ad ditio n o f six new men, Crum . Hoffm a n, L ewi . T ennant, S pi cknall and T wigg. Th ese men a re all ha rd wo rker and sta nd hig h in th e class. ' 'Thirteen" has main tain ed the hig h . tanda rcl in academi c wo rk whi ch she set for her self in her Freshman clays . M ag ruder lead s th e class thi s year, as he did last yea r, and deserves th e hig hest prai se fo r hi work. In athleti cs we have uph eld th e r eputati on we gain ed fo r o urselves in o ur F reshmen year. l\I ello n, vVilson , Ruh l, Hutchin son , \1\fooc\.ward , \!\felch a nd B roadwater played o n th e V arsity eleven. M cN utt, Ma m n and F ell played good g ames on th e second team . \1\fil son, vVelch a nd Ruhl represented " r3 ' ' o n tile college team in ba sketball. O n the diamond \Vil son is sho wing that he has not lost any o f hi s last year' s skill in tossing th e sphero id .. Ruhl , Gearing a nd Todd are also doing good work. W oodward , Klin efelter, vVelch and F ell represent us in track athleti cs. In the interclass gymn asium W oodward won th e mile race and vVil son th e hig h jump. Gladden was tran spo rted to th e seventh heaven o f bli ss by winning fro m M ilbourn e in wre. tling, and thereby e arning his lo ng -coveted class num erals. office. Th e first three days o f o ur coll ege 1i f e cannot be regarded a s a pleasant :--ubj ect for remini scence. S uffice it to say, that we re_ ceived ~II that F reshm en usually receive at thi s period . \Ve were treat ed ne1ther w1th gentl e~ess o n the o ne hand no r with "diabolical cruelty' ' o n th e other . U nder th e v1goro us instruction o f th e G. 0. H. we acquired a healthy regard fo r the traditions and customs o f S t. J ohn 's and kno wledge o f what was expected o f us as F reshm en. Durin rr o ur F res hm en year we worked hard both in th e class room and on 0 the a thletic fi eld . vVe had many m en o f ' 'th ews and sinew s" in o ur class, who form ed th e backbo ne o f most o f th e coll ege team s. \ 1\fe were represented on the V arsity eleven by :M ellon , B ro wn and Ruhl, o n the basketball _team by M ellon .and Wil son. :M ello n, S teven s, Wil son and Gearing won th e1r mo nogr~m s on the diamond. In academic work Magruder led the class, and McConmck, B ut do not imag in e tha t these are the only lines along which the geniu s which characterizes all "13 ' ' men find . its o utl et . vVe have representatives in all fi elds o f human endeavor . Twi gg, the B irdman , has recently perfected th e model o f an aeroplan e. whi ch, according to all acco unts, should revoluti onize th e whole science o f a viation. T odd , finding him self cut o ut fo r hig her things than plumbin g, ha s return ed to S t. Jo hn' s, and havin g reduced juggling to a sci ence, no w dream s o f va udevi ll e contracts and the footlig hts. " Spitball'' is o ne o f o ur recent acquisitio ns. Hi s most no t ed appearance was on the ''A merican's Yo ung Folks' Pag e." H ere he make s an imposing appearance under th e nom de plume of Denmore. 74 15 �Then there is the noble third Aoor Aoor society, con ststmg o f J ones, Phillips, H olman , B roadwater and \N il son , who have devoted them selves to hara ssing second Aoo r men , but have lately been rather quiet, owing to th e fact that retributi on follo ws swift and sure on the heels o f each o f th eir crimes. Hutchin s is tartin g a beauty parlor on the second Aoor , and " Fats" l\fason is hi s fir st pati ent. \ N ould that tim e and space permitted me to dilate on th e attainm ents o f each " 13" man. But both a re getting short . Be fore we close here's to the clas · o f " I 3.'' May each " 13 ., man ever hold hi s allegiance to her, and to alma mater above all other ti es. L et each and every man , animated by a common enthu siasm, love o f class, work un elfi shly fo r her best interests, and her futur e will be as brilliant and un spotted as her pa st. 76 77 �FRESHMAN CLASS wm MOTTO Silence is Golden COLORS Green and Blue ., ., 5 CLASS YELL u Ma-a-a-ma-a, Honk! l: z < ., . l: . It OFFICERS President E. 0 . MILBOURNE W. D. NOBLE Vice-President - R . L. CHRISTIAN Secretary H. R . ANDREWS Treasurer H . L. REEDER - Historian Sergeant-at-Arms E. L. YOST 78 �... Freshman Class Roll. .. * * ANDREWS, H. R.; ..... .... ..... .. . . . . . "Andy" .. .. .... ..... .... .... ..... Choptank, Md. BUCKLEY, C. R. ; ... .... ........... .. ... . "Buck" .... .. .... ... ... ..... .... Baltimore, Md, CAMINERO, JOSE; ... ...... .. .. ..... ...... "Longboot" ........ ... ........ . Havana, Cuba. CHRISTIAN, R. L. ; .. ...... ........ ... .. .. "Abe" ...... ......... .. .. ..... .Ellicott City, Md. DORSEY, C. C.; ................ .......... "Skinny" .............. ........ . Brookville, Md. HILL, F. W. ; ...... .. .. .. :.......... ... ... . "Splinters" .. ... ... ... .Upper Marlboro, Md. HOGAN, F. V.; ..... ..... .... .... ......... "Hooligan" .. ... ...... .. .... .. Baltimore, Md. HoKE, E. L.; ... .. .. .............. ........ "Doc" .............. .. .... .. .. .... ... Coalport, Pa. LAMAR, L. Q. C.; ..... ....... .. ... .. .... "Sleepy'' ................. .... ..... Rockville, Md. MARTIN, E. A.; ..... ......... ......... .. "AI." .... ...... .... ........... .. .. Annapolis, Md. MATTHEWS, H. B.; .. ................... "Matty" ... ...... . ............ Cambridge, Md. MILBOURNE, E. 0., ......... .. ...... .... "Granny'' .. ...... .. ... .......... Baltimore, Md. NOBLE, W. D.; ... .. ....... .. .. ..... ... ... " Bill" ....... ...... .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .... Preston, Md. PHILLIPS, S. M.; ........ ....... ......... "Liz" .. .. ......... ... .............. Quantico, Md. PHILLIPS, W. S. ; .. ..... ......... ........ "Kelly" .. .. ..... .. .. .. ...... White Haven, Md. PETIT, G. H.; ...... .......... ......... .. "Bowery" ........ .. .. .. ........ Brooklyn, N.Y. REEDER, H. L.; ....... .... ..... ........ "Goat"...... ..... .. ..... .. .. .. .. .. .. ... Butler, Pa. REID, ANDREW ; ......... .. .. ......... .. "Cadet" ...... ... .... ... .. ...... ... Baltimore, Md. REINBERG, J. E. ; .. .............. ...... . "Riney" .... ...... ......... Fort Stanton, N. M. SMITH, D. E.; ..... ... ....... ....... ... . " Schmitz" ..... ... .. .... ....... ........ Hayes, Md. THOMPSON, F. H.; .... .......... ...... "Sukey" .. .. .. ........ ... .. .. ...... Annapolis, Md. ToLSON, W. F.; ...... .. .. ........ .. ... "Cap" ... .. .. ... ............ .. Silver Springs, Md. TucKER, J. C.; ................. .. .. .... " Tommy " .. .. .... ........ ... ..... Centreville, Md. WARNER, W. W.; .... ... ........ .. .. .. " Alcibiades " ..... .... .. ...... Watertown, N.Y. WELLS, B. S. ; .. ............. .. ... .. .. .. "Sister" .... ...... ...... . ......... Keyser, W . Va. WHITE, B. W.; ..... .... ........... .. . "Bob" ..... . ........ .... .. ... ....... Annapolis, Md. WooD, F. W.; ... ... ... .... .. ..... ... "Wood y" .... ..... .............. New York, N. Y. YosT, E. L.; .. ... ... .. .. ... .. .. ...... "Pap" ...... .. .. ....... .. ... .. .... Fairmont, W.Va. 80 Freshman History D RIN G th e week of Se pt e mber tw e nty-firs t th e m emb e rs o f the new Fres hman class a sse mbl ed o n th e s h ady campus l.lf St. J o hn's. From a ll point s of t h e co mpass, from far m and city, w e ca m e, som e of us with coat s of a " class y " c ut, p egt op t rouse rs a n d gay socks a nd hatbands, a nd oth ers w ith plain sui ts a nd felt hats that strong·ly suggested th e co untry store. After a vi sit to \Voodward Ha ll and a talk with T ommy, we were show n to o ur room s in Pi nckney Hall , whi ch wa s to be our abode fo r the yea r. Most o f us had room s on the fo urth floor . \Ne soon became acquainted with one anoth er, and started in to see the tow n and do something to drive a way the feelings of homes ickne. s that kep t ri sing in our hearts. O n th e fir st evening of o ur co ll ege career we were vi sited by the Sophs. T heir fir st visit was very friend ly, in deed. Th ey told us not to be a fraid , a nd then g ave us some fat herl y advi ce and a set of rul es that we were to follow. \1\!e were soon called on, however . to visit th ese fell ow: ' roo m · and perform all kinds o f ridi culous and hu mi liating stunts fo r th eir a mu sement. T hese a ffa irs seemed bad enoug h, but th e wo rst was yet to come. O ne nig ht our slumber s were di , turbecl by vigoro us shaki ngs . a nd we were ordered to come out behind th e gy m a nd not to make a ny no ise about it. eit her . 'vVe went like lamb s to th e la ug hteL F ro m behind th e gy m we were taken to th e rai lroad cut and th e f un ( ?) began. Some o f us d id stu nts such as sing ing songs o r dancing th e "Salome." A ft er t hi s we tri ed our strength at lifting rail s to the li vely accompanim ent o f the slat . VV hen th e ceremoni es were over we went q ui etly ba ck to P in ckn ey and as ked o urse lves w h y in h- w e eve r came to college, anyho w. It wa :oon forgotten. thoug h, 111 th e affair s o f th e next clay. We wer e told one clay to ' 'ho nk" every tim e we turn ed a corner in the hall. and fo r a month we made Ii fe mi se rab le for th e P in ckn ey Hall "p rof. " with o ur racket. Th e wo rst of our tro ubl es were over , thoug h, with t he visit to th e cut, but still we li ved in dread o f bei ng summ oned to one o f those awful meetin gs in Room 29 or Rcom ro. T hose Sop homore class meetin gs had th e S pani h Inqui sition fad ed a mi le. 81 �vVhil e all th ese things were happening to us we . till managed to keep up our sp irits enoug h to hold class meetings and elect our offi ce rs. Vve cho e E. 0 . ~li l b o urn e a our pre. ident, a nd have never had cause to reg ret our action. \ iV ith the beginning o f football season a large percentage of th e cia went o ut for hono r on th e oTi d iron. T hro ug ho ut th e sea. on o ur men wo rked ha rd . and, alt houg h no one got a regul a r place o n th e varsity, they helped la rgely t make up the second team. T homp on played as a s ub ~t i t ute in everal o f th e uthern trip. besid es playing a fir st team games. a nd Vv od was taken on th e few minutes in t he H opkin s ::;ame. S mith hel d a regul a r positio n on th e second team a nd helped materially in maki1w the scru bs' fin e reco rd . Lamar and I etit played in a number of th e second team games. Nex t yea r we expect to fil l . o me positi ons on the Va r ity with credit. O n th e basketball team we had T hompson. who play.ed in nearl y all of the games a nd at home \r as o ne of th e most pop ul a r of th e playe rs. In the final game o f th e · ea ~o n he not only o utcl a. sed hi s ma n, but too k ·a fall out of o ne o f th e most esteemed memb r. o f th e fac ulty R eddy l\1cGlone. Buckley a nd \'Voocl also put up . o me trong game. fo r th e R eserves. B ut it was in th e gy m meet that our cla. s won th e most honor. . O n th e parall el bar s. hori zontal bar, hor ,;e and Aying rin crs, and al so in tumbl in g our men to k eith er fir st or seco nd place. . Hogan, Reid an I \1\Toocl howed e"cellent fo rm in th eir wo rk in th e. e entri es. a nd they prom i. e t make a name for th emselve a nd fo r St. J ohn 's in thi s branch of athl eti cs. Petit took . eco nd place in one o f the races, a nd also d id some fine boxing. Milbourn e howed co nsid erab le p romi se of bein g a classy wrestlec In baseball our worth remain s to be een, but we are expecting to put several m n on the fir st team . In th e worko ut. so far ="!oble has shown excell ent form a a catcher, and And rews fo llows close behind him. T olson a nd :M atth ew a re beginnin g to loo k lik e valuable add iti ons to the pitching staff. a nd th e fo rm er is ~ h a win g class at fir. t base as well a. in the box. There are a number o f oth ers th at will no doubt make good second team materi al. La t . but not least, we have clone fin e work aloncr academi c lin es. 1\Iost o f us passed safely acro ss th e pe ril ous waters o f mid -year exams, and even better res ults are ex pected f rom th e exams next Jun e. ] I. R. A ndrews has headed the hono r li t ever since schoo l began. lose behind him have been Chri tian. l:-1ill , B oke. :Petit , Tucker, \ Varn e r, Nobl e a nd Reeder . \ r hen we loo k over our ho rt reco rd we beli eve that we ca n fee l justly V proud of it both in th e class room and on th e ath letic fi eld , a nd if we have gai ned along with these ho nors t he respect of our fell ow schoolmates we sha ll not consid er our fir t yea r of coll ege li fe a fa ilure. 82 .J 0 0 I: u "' >- It 0 ... <( It <( .. . .. It �First Preparatory Class * * Alger Basil Claude Cassard Dawes Dixon Downs Eltinge Fields Fowler Smith, R. Gates Gambrill, R. Gambrill, W. Hall Hogan Kelley King Moisan Palmer Parlett, G. Parlett, J . Robinson Sadler Selby Welch, R. 0. Whitmeyer Wood Young Onion Chase Hightman ' Second Pre para tory Class Andrew Bourke Brittlebank Chaney Cheston Clark Coomber Faulkner Hambleton Han well Hopkins Jewell Jones Kimberley Ligon Marcer Miller Nason Parlade P earce Frere Pierce Prout Randall Revelle Selby Van Kirk Wolkowsky Worthington Cecil Hungerford " Special Preparatory Class Hong Hyde Kaiser Luyster Williams Dodge Hutchinson Smith, H. Steele 84 85 �PHILOMATHE:AN SOCIETY �Philomathean Roll Adams Broadrup Catlin Drake Hoffman Hoke Holljes Holman Hutchins Lamar Matthews, H. B. Miller Moss Mullikin Spicknall Staley -Stanley Starlings Todd Vansant Williams, A. E. Wilson, K. E. Winslow Yost Ziegler 87 �PHILOKALIAN SOCIETY �Philokalian Roll Alger, P. Andrew, H. Bailey Bowlus Brattan Caminero Campbell Christian Clayton Crum Davis Dickinson Dryden Fell Fitzgerald Gailey Gering Harris Haslup Hill Hopkins, R. S. Hopkins, S. D. Jacobs Johnson, C. L. Lentz Lewis McNutt Magruder Martin Matthews Michaelson Milbourne Morris Owen Parran Payne Petit Reeder Rein burg Riggin Roberts Rlihl Ryder Smith, D. E. Tennant Tucker Twigg Warner Welch Wells White Woodward 89 �PHI SIGMA KAPPA �Ph~ S~gma Kappa WILLIAM STANLEY LEWIS FULLER PARSLEY THOMAS PARRAN, JR. JACK MASON HUNDLEY JOHN ARTHUR BRASHEARS GEORGE LEIPER WINSLOW HERMAN GAILEY IRA EDGAR RYDER PHILANDER BRISCOE ARTHUR EVERETT WILLIAMS EDGAR FELL ROBERT BRATTAN B. MILTON CECIL WILLIAM ALLEN RUHL ANDREW REID FRATRES IN FACULTATE THOMAS FELL, Ph. D., L. L. D. BYRON VERNON CECIL, D. S. AMOS WALTER WOODCOCK, M. A. FRATRES IN URBE EUGENE IGLEHART JOHN GREEN ARTHUR DE THALMA VALK WALTER MUNROE JOHN WELLS SAMUEL RUSSEL DEETS 91 �OTES fo-r WIMMIN .. rr Young Men's Christian Association OFFICERS FOR 1910-'11 I. E. RYDER, '12- Secretary. W. LENTZ, '12- Treasurer. L. C. BAILEY, '11- - President. K. E. WILSON, '11- -Vice-President. ADVISORY BOARD DR. THOMAS FELL- Chairman. PROFESSOR A. W. W. WOODCOCK. DR. B. MCGLONE. PROFESSOR C. W. STRIKER. PROFESSOR J. B. RIPPERE. ROLL OF MEMBERS Alger Andrew, H. Broadrup Caminero Campbell Cassard Dryden Gailey Gladden Hartley Hogan Lewis Ligon King Matthews, H. B. Milbourne Moisan Owsley Peace Roberts 93 Riggin Selby, J. E. Staley Tennant Tucker Wells White Whitmyer Winslow Wolkowsky �and it was tri ed in every way to make th em fee l a t home in their new . urrounclings. It is in thi s and ;;;imilar ways that the Y. ~I. C. A. can exert o ne of its g reatest influ ences ove1· yo ung men-m en who are perhaps away from the safeguard s of home life for th e fir st tim e a nd thrown to a g reat ex tent upon th eir own reso urces, both intell ectual and mora l. The Young Men's Christian Association Th e number o f active member s thi . yea r wa s small er than usual , but we sincerely hope that a s the yea rs go by th e assoc ia tion will in crease and more widely extend it s helpful influ ence a nd accompli . h more and mo re for good here at old St. J ol111 's. N th e Youn g ·M e n 's Chri s tian Assoc iati o n we ha Ye an o rgani zati on w hi ch is one of th e most important in the life of th e colle ge man of t oday . O ur association is a branch of th e Int e rnati onal Yo un g Men's Chri stian Association. The creed of thi s w01·ld-wide o rga ni zatio n is well exp ressed in th e followin g, whi ch is kn ow n as th e Pa ri s Basis : "Th e Young ~f e n 's Chri stian Association seeks to unite yo ung men, who, regarding J esu Chri st as th eir God and Saviour, according to the Holy Scriptures, desire to be Hi s di scipl es in their doctrine and in th eir life, and to associate th eir efforts for the extension o f His kingdom among yo un g men .. , Thi s was adopted in 1855 and reaffirm ed in 1907. The members o f our association are everywhere recognized , and one of our member ship card s entitl es th e holder to all privil eges in eve ry association in the co untry. The Inter- State and International Committees, throug h their secretari es, render mu ch practical aiel to our o rgani zation in carrying on its w01·k here in coll ege. This year delegates representin rr our association attended the state conventio n, held at J ohn s Hopkins U niver sity, where th ey had th e adva.ntage of hearing many problems relative to the associatio n work, eli cussed by experi enced and able speaker s. Throughout the entire year meetings were held as far as possibl e every S unday evening. At th ese meetings the members were aclcl ressecl by some m emb e r of the college facult y, mini s te r of a loca l church o r a field sec reta ry of one of the Inter- State Com mittees. At the beginning of th e co llege session a recepti on committee was organized amo ng th e members of th e as. ociation for th e purpose of meeting the new men at th e train . , show in g them around the coll ege, introd ucing th em to the professor s, and helping in every way to straig hten out their many difficulti es. It was in g r eat part clue to the work o f thi s committee that th e coll ege work was able to sta rt so promptly. O n th e first Saturday evening, after the openin g o f college, a reception for th e new men wa g iven by the member s of the association. H ere th e new men were introduced to th e older students, 94 95 �GLEE CLUB MANDOLIN CLUB �ORCHESTRA �Cot~ll~on Club R owL.\ ND K. An. \ ?-IS. · r I . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. P r es: d ~ nt vVILLl AM STANLEY. ' n .. .. . ..... . ............... .. ...... . . . \'i ce- I resident C LI FFO RD L. J o H NSON . II ....... ...... ...... ...... .. . ..... ...... Secr etary \V. RoLA ND \1 ,\ NS .\ NT. 11 .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . • . . . . . . .. . T r easurer Hop Committee R o wland K. Ada m $. ·I I. C hairman. L. Claude Ba iley . 'II . C li fford L. J ohn son. · r r. W illiam tan ley. · r r. \ V. R oland Vansant, '1 r. Series of Dances Wi lh elm L entz. · r 2. F rcderi ck S. :-Iatth ews . 1 2. Geo rge L. \ Vin slow. ' 12 . \\! . S tewa rt 1-itzge ra!d. ' 13. F rank E . Hutchi n: o n. 13. 1910--1911 A pril 2 I. !\l ay !\Jay [2. :-ray 26 . Decem be r 9, 19 10. January G, !C) II. Febru ary 3, 19 1 I. February 24 . 19 1 I. s. 19 1 [. 19 11, 19 1 I. 19 11. Members Adams, Ba il ey, Brashear., Brattan. B ri scoe, Droaclwater , Ca min ero. Catlin . Cecil , B. 1[. Dav is, D ickin so n, Drake, F itzge rald , Gailey, Ha rri s, Haslup, Hollj es, H ogan, H opki ns, R. S . H op kin . , D. Hund ley . H utchin s, Hutchin son . Jo hn con . C. L. Lentz. J\Ic'\ utt . '.\[ a rtin. !\Jaso n . l\latth ws. F . S. i\lo. s. y [ullikin . Owen. Pa rra n. Par sley, Pay ne. R eed er . R oberts. Ri.i h 1• Ru llm an , Ryd er. S tan ley . Th omp con , T wigg . \ ·a nsant. W e ll ~ . \ Vliite. S. R. \Villi ams, A. E . Wi lso< K. E. l, \ 'Vin elo w, \\' oc dwa rcl. WHICH? 100 101 �A ·t h 1e t -i c A s s o c -i a t -i o n j R. EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE OFFICERS FOR 1910-1911 l l I l P. MELVIN, '99 ............ .. ....... .Alumnus PROF. B. V. CECIL, '90 ...... .. .... ... .. Faculty R. K. ADAMS, '11. ...... Pres. of Association R. B. S. R. K. ADAMS, '11.. .... ............... President MICHAELSON, '12 .. ......... .Vice-President R. WHITE, JR. '11 ............... ... Secretary D. BROADRUP, '12 .. ... ... ..... .. ..Treasurer C. L. JOHNSON, '11 ...... .. ... ...... .. ... Captain R. K. ADAMS, '11 .. .. .... ... .. .... ... .. Manager G. L. WINSLOW, '12 ... ..... .. .. Asst. Manager FOOTBALL TEAM 1910 1 BASEBALL TEAM 1911 BASKETBALL TEAM 1911 TRACK TEAM 1911 TENNIS TEAM 1911 FOOTBALL TEAM 1911 l j F. A. MELVILLE, '13 .. ... . ..... . . .. .. ... Captain W. R. VANSANT, '11 ....... .. .. ... .. . Manager C. H. RIGGIN, '12 ......... .. .. .. Asst. Manager J. WILSON, '13 ..... .. ........... .. ........ . Captain C. L. JOHNSON, '11.. ..... .. .... .. ... ... Manager W. LENTZ, '12 ..... .... .. .... ... .. Asst. Manager J I. E. RYDER, '12 ... .... . .. .. .. ..... .. .. .. Captain l H. L. JOHNSON, '11 .. ..... ...... . ...... Manager r H. L . JOHNSON, '11 ....... .. ......... .... Captain 1 W. STANLEY, [ S. R. WHITE, '12 ......... .. ......... .. .... Captain G. L. WINSLOW, '12 ......... .... ........ Manager C. T. PHILIPS, '13 .. .... . .... .. .. Asst. Manager 103 102 '11 .......... .. ....... .... .Manager �Athletics has bee n t h e wo nd e r of co ll ege. Co ns id e rin g th e numb e r of m en th e a thl eti c team w hi c h a re p roc! ucecl a re li ttl e less than ma rve lou s. F ro m less than tw o hundred m en , t h e maj o ri ty o f w ho m had neve r be fo re e n te red in t o a n a t hl eti c co ntes t , we JV!ace upo n t h e grid iro n a foo tb a ll tea m t h a t co ll eges fi1 ·e tim es o ur s ize res pec t and fea r. f' ro m th e boys w ho co me t o us fro m prepara to ry ancl hi g h sc hoo ls v:e bui ld u p a ba eba ll t ea m . whi ch mak es itse lf kn o wn wh e re1·e r it m ay go . 111 tw o ye ars S t. J o hn' s has estab lis h ed a bas ke tbal l team w hi c h has won ~Teat ho no r fo r us. vVhat oth er co ll ege ca n clo th is 0 \\ 'hy are 7l 'C ab le to accompli sh t hi s 0 It 1, beca use th e ve ry atmosph ere o ur men brea th e imbu es th em with a love fo r th e ir co ll ege a nd an ove n.vh elm in g d es ire t o see S t. J o hn 's s uccee d w h e re a gr eat ma ny coll eges fail. Thi s is what we call the " S t. J o hn 's spirit." Thi s 1:; what c au ~es o ur men, o n th e very brink f defeat. to turn and wrest th e vi cto ry f ro m th e ha nd s o f th eir opponents. T hu s c!oes S t. J o hn 's send fo rth her team s, equ ipp ed with that " spirit' ' w hi ch in vari ably p laces her athl eti cs on that pinnacl e where th ey ha ve always ~ too d. 104 l: < ,_ "' ..J ..J < ID ,_ . 0 0 �Football Team, 1910 R. K. ADAMS , '11, MANAGER -' -' C. L. JoHNSON, '11, (Capt. ) .... ...... ...... : .. ........ .... .. Right End S. R. WHITE, '11 . .... ... .......... .. ............. ... ... Rig ht Tackle C. C. HARRIS, ' 12........... .. .... ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... .. ... Rig ht Guard E. M. OWEN, '11 ...... ...... .. ... .... . ....... .. .... ...... ........ .. Centre S . C. DRAKE, '11 ............... .. .. ......... ... .. ..... .......... Lef t Guard F. E. H UTCHINSON, ' 13 .. .. . ... . ..... .... ... .. ...... ..... . Left Tackle R. G. Moss, '11 ....... .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .... .. L eft End W. H . R uHL, ' 13 .... .............. ...... . ......... ........ ... Quarter-back F. A . MELLON, ' 1 ~ . . ... ... .. .. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rig ht Half-back J. N. WILSON, ' 13 ........ .. ...... ... .... . ........... .. ..... . Left Half-back F. A . MELVILLE, ' 13 .... .... . .. . ....... ... .... ..... .... .. ..... .. Full-back . SUBSTITUTES 0 < ::> a II) < .. ,_ 0 0 H . L. JOHNSON, ' 11, End and Tackle ; R. WELCH, '11 , Centre ; BOWLUS , ' 11, Guard ; W. WOODWARD, ' 13, Tackle ; CLARK, ' 14, End. FOOT BALL SCORES ST. ST. ST. ST. ST. ST. ST. ST. JOHNS, JOHNS, JOHNS, JOHNS, JOHNS, JOHNS, JOHNS , JOHNS, 0. ·· ····· ... . .. ·· ···· ··· ·· .. ....... .. ... ..... ..... ...... N AVY, 16 0. ······· . ..... . ... .. . ... ...... .... . .. .. . ...... GETTYSBURG, 2 0 .......... .... .... .. ......... . ···· ··· · ...... ...... U. OF VA., 29 0 . ............ ... .. .. .... ....... ..... ····· ·· ........ . G. w. u. 0 0 ... ........ .. .... .. . ·· ·· ···· ·· ·· ··· ...... .. .. .. ...... V. M. I. , 22 0. ..... .. . ....... . ... ...... ............. ....... .. DICKINSON, 12 0 . ........... .. ....... ..... ..... .... ..... JOHNS HOPKINS, 14 6 . .... . .. .. . .... ........ . .. .... . ... .... .... ......... M.A. C. , 0 ST. JOHNS , 42 ... ... ... ··· ··· ··· · ··· · ····· ···· ···· ··· ········· ·· . P. M. 107 c., 0 �Football 1910 ST. J OH~·s, o : NAVY, 16. 'vVe opened our sea w n again st the heavy ~avy E leven. !tho ug h our team wa s composed mostly o f new materi al. we surpri eel th e follower · o f the game by holding the heavy veteran s to a low ·core. T he N avy was forced to ki ck freq uently in th e fir st qua rter and were not ab le to :;core in that period . our lin e holding th em tim e after time much to our surpri se, as we were outweig hed about twenty po un ds to th e man. Afte r a few minutes o f play in th e second qua rter th e Navy pull ed off a forwa rd pa ss which broug ht th em to our fiv e-yard line, and , by a series o f line plunges, Navy carri ed the ball ove1· for a touchdown. The fir st half ended Navy, 6; St. Jo hn 's, o. In thr second ha lf we cam e back with th e same g rit and determin ation th at we had in the fir st half, but the heat, combin ed with th e weig ht of the Navy lad s, forced us to g ive them two more touchdowns. T hey failed to kick goal in both cases. Dalton was a to wer o f strength for the Navy, while Melville played a star game fo r St. J ohn' s. St. J ohn 's, o ; Gettysburg, 2. In th e . econd game o f the season we were de feated by the strong Gettysburg aggregation. It was a hard game fo r our boys to lose, as we played better ball than the Gettysburg lad s. Gettysburg won th e g am e in th e second half . Ruhl received a punt and to uched the ball to th e g roun d, suppo sing it to be a 108 touchback. Th e referee, however , decided that the ball wa s ove r o ur lin e a m! call ed it a safety , thi s bein g the only score o f the game. O n the defence o ur team was nJUch stronger and g ua rded the goa l well when it was in dange r . lt looked like a St. John 's day wh en Clark intercepted a forward pass in the center of the fi eld and carri ed the ball to Gettysburg 's fiv e-yard lin e. Lack o f effecti ve team work and Gettysburg 's strong defence kept us from coring. T here was a co n ~ id e rab l e amount o f roug h playing throug hout the game, ~eve r a l of o ur playe rs being injured. V irg ini a, 29: St. J ohn' s, o. The sco re of thi s gam e does not show th e kin d o f footba ll o ur team played . 'vVe have to c.-m sicler th e tryin g po ition in whi ch our team was placed by the absence of Captain J ohn son and th e poor phy sical condition o f some o f o ur best players. Aithoug h the scor·e wa somewhat di scouragin rr to the follo wers o f the Orange a nd Black, still the team did th eir very be st and that is all that we can a k o f them. Fo r th e first few minutes of play it looked as tho ug h it was anybody' s g ame. but afte r a se ries o f line plunges V irg inia succeeded in carrying th e ball over fo r the fir st touchdown. The final score of the fir st half was V irg inia, I7 ; St. J ohn 's, o. In i:he third qua rter St. J ohn 's took a brace and gave the V iro·ini a ns a scare as we ca rri ed the ball to their fifteen-yard lin e several times only to lose it on clowns o r by a fumbl e. ~e ith er . ide was able to score in thi s quarter. both sides playing g reat ball. O ur team weakened in the final period a nd the V irg inia ns scored two mo re touchdowns. The final score: V irg ini a, 29 ; St. J ohn ·s, o. St. J o hn's, o; G. W. U ., o. Vve played th e George Wa hingt on U niver :;ity a ca reless game on the American League Pa rk gro und s. \Ve would have gain ed a victo ry had it not been for th e wet g roun d and th e lack o f aggressiveness in o ur team work. 109 �ln thi s g am e Clayto n wa s ea sily the star. o ft en punting th e ball out o f dange r a nd several ti mes making lo ng run s a round th e end s from ki ck fo rm ation . Both : ides ~-ecei vecl many penalti e. fo r holdin g and off sid e. St. J ohn 's used th e forwa rd pass to g reat advantage in thi s g am e. while o ur oppo nents were no t able to wo rk it success full y. D uring th e fir st half th e George \ Vashin g to n lad s had a littl e th e better o f th e a rg um ent. In th e third quarter we succeeded in getting the ball on th eir six-ya rd lin e twi ce but were not ah le to carry th e ball over th eir lin e. 'vVe easil y o utclassed George \Vashing ton in thi s qua rter and in th e fina l period . The g ame ended with th e ball in th e middle o f th e fi eld. S t. J ohn' s, o : \ ·. 1\J. L, 22 . T he \' . :l\1. I. lad s came on the field determin ed to wip e o ut th e defeats o f th e two pr ev10u s years, and we mu st say th at th ey accompli shed th eir p urpo e, till S bein g· th e la r o·co t 'co re th at V. M. I. has ever been able to ro ll up o n u ~. Thi . g ame wa '. rather a surpri se to S t. J ohn 's. as we expected to defeat th em. O ur de fe. t was clu e to loose playin g and th e lack of experi ence. P layin g 1 o n stran ge gro und s was also a drawback to th e team , and th e game wo uld probably have been very close had we been playing on th e ho me ground s. Captain J ohn son went into the game at th e begin ning o f the second half fo r th e fir st tim e since he wa s injured in th e N av y game. J ohm:o n, C. L., a nd Melvill e were the stars fo r St. Jo hn' s, both playing a strong g am e, Melvill e being a tower o f : trengt h 1Jrhind th e lin e, whi le J ohn son broke up many o f the V. M. I. play s. Th e g am e wa s interesting and abo und ed with snappy pl ay in g from th e fir st !'ouncl o f the rd eree 's whi stl e until th e g ame was e ver . O ur team had a sli g ht advantage in the fir st quarter and it looked a s if \\·e mig ht win th e ga me. \\ 'e ca rri ed th e ba ll to their ten-yard line on end run~ an d a forward pass . Th e Dickin ,on eleve n. reali zin g they \\·e re up aga in ot it. took a decid ed brace and held us for do wns. Oickin ;:o n sco red in th e second quart er by hard play ing. T hey were not able to !'COl-e in th e th'rd quarter . altho ug·h o ur team 11 ad in man y ~ ub s titute s . Th ey obtain ed th eir final sco re by blockin g a kick and falling o n th e ball on o ur one-ya rd lin e. wh ence th ey ca rri ed it ove r fo r a to uchd own. O ur ro ters gav e tk: team g reat ' uppo rt durin g th e entire gam e. H opkin s. 14 : S t. J ohn 's. o . Before a crowd o f 5 ,000 perso ns J o hn s Ho pkin s \\'Oil th e annu al g am e with St. J oh n'" by a sco re o f I..( ---o. Th e S t. J o hn '. team played a n exceptio nall y good game and canw up to th e st ancl arcl. whi ch plea:::ecl th e follo we rs o f S t. J o hn 's O ur next game wa with Dickin son on o ur g ro und s. O ur team wa s o ut weig hed by th e Dickin w n lad s. but they put up a ha rd and determin ed fi g ht to w1n. The fin e wo rk of th e Dickin so n end s and backfield gain ed th em th e victory. very muci1. It was conceded by th o~ e not intereo tecl in eith er team th at Hopkin s stood ever y chance to win th e g ame, but there wa s no lack o f confidence in th e S t. J o hn' s camp. During th e fir ~ t quarte r H op kin s sco red th eir o nl y touchdo wn o f th e ga me by end ru:1 s a1' d lin e plun ge s. S t. J o hn 's lin e held tim e after time and forced th e H opkin s brt cks to ki ck o ften. H opkin s o btain ed a fi eld goal in each o f th e three remai nin g quarters. clu e to the fin e wo rk of Captain S toll enw erk. who did so me f the fi ne' t drop ki ck in o· ever :::een in th e South . S t. Jo hn' s worked th e forward pa ss success full y ' eve ral tim e: cluri1~g the g am e and sho wed rrood team wo rk a nd ag re~siv e n ess t hro ug ho ut the entire game. The gocd wo rk o f th e St. J ohn 's team !ll<JY be a ttributed to the coaching o f Profes,or s Cecil and Grove and also M r. liarri.o n . Th e whole S t. Jo hn' s team played an excellent g ame and ·o their defeat wa clue onl y to th eir meetin g a better and stro nger team . The line up: 110 111 D1ckin son , 12: St. J ohn 's, o. �Schedule of Football Season 1911 'epte1~1b r 30-Rock Hill Octob~r 7-Eastc rn October 11.- U . _. · ll eo·e. A nnap li s. oll ege . ..-\ nn apoli s. f\. A .. A nn apo li s. ctobe r u - \ -irgi ni a .\I ili tary ln stit utc. L exi ngton, Virg ini a. October 2 1-L' ni versity of \'irg ini a, harlottesvill e. V irg ini a. October zg-(;eorgetow n Uni ve rsity, \ Va . hin gto n. D. C. :\uvember -t- .\l a ryland Ag ri cultural Coll ege, Coll ege Park . l\Iaryland. ":\ovcndJer 1 1-Ga ll a udet C liege, Annapoli s. :\ovcn.be r 18-J ohn s l [op kin s. n alti more. i\ovcmber 2.=;-Ceo rge \tVa shin gto n. 1\altimore. .. CAPTAINS AND Jl4 MANAGERS �Baseball Team 1910 Baseball for 1910 R. P. HARTLE, '10, Manager R. E. GROVE, '10 ..... ...... ... ....... ... ..... ... .. .. ...... .. ... ... ..... ... ....... First Base H. RtiHL, '10 ..... ........... ... ... ...... .... ....... ....... ... ... .. ... .............. .Second Base F. MELVILLE, '13 ........ ..... . .... .... .. .. .. ... ... ....... ........ ....... ......... ... Shortstop H. E. WILSON, '10, (Capt.) .......... ........ ..... .... ...... ... ... .. .... .... ..... Third Base C. DEAN, '10 .. .......... ..... ..... . ...... .... ........... .......... .......... ..... .... Right Field F. MELLON, '13 .. ....... ... .. ....... ... ... .... ........ ... ....... .. .... .... .. .... ... Center Field R. WACHTEL, . . . ........ ........ ..... .... .... .. .. .... ... .... .... .... ....... .... ..... .. Left Field E. HAUVER, '10 .... ............. .... .. ... ....... .. ... ...... .. .... .......... ........... Catcher J. A. STEVENS, '13........ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. ... ..... .. ........ ...... .......... .. .. ... Pitcher J. N. WILSON, '13 ....... ... .......................... .. ................ ......... ....... Pitcher T. B. MUDD, '10; SUBSTITUTES G. GERING, '13; B. MICHAELSON, '12. BASEBALL SCHEDULE 1911 March 22. U. S. N. A., at Annapolis, ;Md. 30. Swarthmore College, at Annapolis. " April 1. U. of M., at Annapolis. !' 5. William and Mary College, at Annapolis. ,, 8. Franklin and Marshall; at Lancaster, Pa. " 10. V. P. I., at Blacksburg, Va. 11. Washington and Lee, at Lexington, Va. " 12. V. M. I., at Lexington, Va. " '! 13. U. of Va., at Charlottesville, Va. 14. Eastern College, at Manassas, Va. " 22. Gallaudet College, at Washington, D. C. " 26. U. S. N. A., at Annapolis, Md. " 29. P. M. College, at Chester, Pa. " May 6. M. A. C., at College, Park, Md. " 10. U. S. N. A., at Annapolis. 13. Rock Hill College, at Annapolis. " 20. Johns Hopkins, at Annapolis . " 24. Mt. St. Joseph's, at Annapolis. 31. M. A. C., at Annapolis. " June 3. Dickinson College, at Carlisle, Pa. .. 116 HE bas eball season of 1910 was in eve ry way m os t s ati s fact o ry. A lt h o ug h we w o n o nl y ab out o ne-half of the b o·am e · . sched ul ed, we showed that S t . J o hn 's was s till playin g baseball with th e sam e old ind o mitabl e s pirit. Practice bega n early and a g reat am o unt of excellent material was soon deve loped . O n \ iVe dn esda y, Ma rch 23 d, S t. J o hn 's and the Navy ope n ed their season o n th e N a vy diam o nd. Both team s s ho wed exce ll e nt fo rm for so ea rl y in th e se ason. T hi s ga me s ho uld have b ee n a St. J ohn 's v icto ry, but fo r seve ra l in excu sabl e e rro rs o n o ur part, w hi ch all o w ed th e Navy t o sco re four run s in o n e inning a nd gave them th e g ame by o ne run . Steve n s pitch ed exceed in g ly well , and Captain Wi lson's w o rk in th e infi eld and at the bat was especia ll y co mmendabl e. Score: C. S . N . A .. 6; S. J. C., 5. T he team started on its Southern trip o n M arch 24th, very much weaken ed by its contest with the N avy. The first g ame o f the trip was with th e U niversity o f \ ·irg inia. In thi s game Wi lson J. pitched and proved to be the V irginian 's undoing. Stevens al!'o di sting uished him self. Score: U . o f V ., 2; S. J. C., 6. \ i\1 ashin gton and L ee cancelled o ur game fo r the 25th, so th e team visited th e Staunton Military Academy. The academy lads p ut up such a good fight that o ur regular pitcher s h ad to be sent in, and Captain Wil son's home run in the ninth gave us th e game by one point. Score: S. M. A ., 5: S. J. C. 6. V irg inia Mi litary I nstitute wa s the next stop, on the 26th. O n acco unt o f the g reat weakn es o f the team, aug mented by the absence o f Dean , who had return ed ho me with a sprain ed ankle, we were defeated o n their ground fo r the fir st tim e in several year s. Score : V. M. I., s; S. J. C., 2. O n the 28th the team was pitted again st R oanoke College. We do no t wi sh to elwell upon thi s g ame, for , in athletic contests especially, St. J ohn 's has always stood firml y fo r true sportsman ship. We were defeated in thi s g ame am id the protests o f o ur team a nd the spectato r s, who were firmly convinced 117 �that had we t een fairl y treated the dec i ion w o u ~ d have bee n o urs. Sco re: R oanoke, 5 : S . J. C., 3· All throuo·h the South ern trip o ur team was g rowing weaker from sprain ed . ankl es and other minor acc i de nt~ . and in th e g am e with Virg inia P olytech111 c ] nstitute i\" C had to pl ay the manager, H auver being di sabl ed. Conseq L 1entl y the team was not abl e to put up its best fi g ht a nd we were d efeated. Sco re : V . P. I. , 6; S. J. C., 3· O n \ 1\f ednesday , at E astern Coll ege, we were defeated throug h om own re ckl ess ness in a g am e whi c h sh ould eas il y ha ve bee n ours . Score: Eas'e rn , -t: S. J. C. . 2. Th e team th en return ed home. looking very mu ch like a traveling pa rty of co nval escents. ~ O m poor physical condition a nd th e in ability to conn ect with th e curves o f th e Uni versity o f Maryland pitcher cau sed us to lose thi s game. Stevens succeeded vVil sc n J. in the !:ox and made th e \"arsity work for th e vi ctory. Grove sustained a sprain ed ankl e whil e nearin g th e h me plate in wh at should have been a home run . Scor e : . o f M., 8 ; S. J . C., 3· Th e team went to S wa rthmo re on Saturd ay . April 9th , an d wa s d efeated . O ur team ,- eemed ig norant o f the g am e and en tirely unabl e to cope with th ei r opp nents. O ur battery was weak and th e player s threw to bases in mi serabl e form. S warthm ore played a fin e rram e. a nd we were beaten by a sco t-e o f 9 to I. O n April 12th M t. St. J oseph pl ayed us on our home diamond in a thirteen inning o·ame. O ur team mad e sixteen hits in th e thirteen innin gs, whil e l\It. St. J oseph was unable to net a singl e hit. Stevens and vVachtel pitched for St. J ohn' s. A lthoug h playing such a goo d game. we were a ble to win by but one po int. Score : M t. St. J oseph , 3: S. J. C., 4· In the nex t g ame, on April rgth. with Franklin ac d M a rshall , our team again began to ~ h o w w me o f it old-tim e fo rm by d efeating their opponents. Stevens pitch ed a g reat gam e, striking out el even men and allowing but three hits. Captain \ Nil son covered him self with g lor y by hi s hard hitting and clever playing. Sco re: F. and M ., 3 ; St. J. C., 4· In the afternoon th e Buckn ell team , their g am e with th e N avy bein g cancell ed, ag reed to play us until 3.30 P. M. , when th ey had to catch a train . There were only four innin gs played, and in thi s tim e Buckn ell had scored two run s, but o ur team wa s doin g excell ent work and our prospects were very bri g ht, and all who witne ~s e d th e game expressed regret that th e g am e could not be fini shed . Our next g ame wa s with the Uni versity o f vVest V irg inia, on April 30th. Thi s g am e was fa st and exciting, ai1d our boys showed th eir mettl e by o utplaying th e \ 1\f est V irg inian s, but Stevens weakened throug h sudden sickn ess and was landed on for a singl e, a double and a home run , which lost th e g am e for us. Sco re : U. o f W. V a. , 5 ; S. J. C., 4· 118 \<\T ecJnesday. l\Iay 4th, saw th e de fe at o f th e Na vy at our hands. Th e g ame was a bea utiful exhibition o f ba seball, and both team s covered themselves with g lory. Every t. J ohn' s play er was on hi toes during every moment o f play. Stevens in th e box. Wil son J. in center fi eld and l\I elville with the bat pro ved the stars fo r St. J ohn' s. The first and only score wa s made in th e seve nth innin g·. bro ug ht in by Hauver runnin g for J. \<\T son, \\"ho had hurt il l1i s arm in . licling . Score : S. J. C., I: N avy, o. A noth er victory was g ain ed on th e follo wing Saturd ay over "\f. r\ . C. In the fir st two innings M . A. C. g ain ed all her run , but beginning with th e third inning our team had th e g am e cin ched. Th e g ame was rath er poo rl y played. "\ L A . C. ma kin o· 14 erro rs and St. J ohn' s 6. Sco re : i\I. A . C. . 4: S . J. C., I I. O n Saturday. May 14th, o ur team went ag ain st th e N avy in th e decidin o· g am e o f th e se ri es. The lavy made th e fir st run in th e third inning . an d in th e fo urth Wil son H . came home and ti ed th e sco re. Th en St . J ohn' s had :1. streak o f bad luck. and in th e fifth and sixth innings th e f\ avy made three more run throug h er ro rs. In the ninth inning St. J ohn 's started to hit And er;·o n. N avy'. pitch er, and Wil son tl., vVil so n J. and l\I elvill e sco red one run api ece. Th e :t\avy went to th e bat in th e la st half o f th e ninth inning . and throug h a acrifi ce and a n error won th e o·ame. ~ co re: U. S. :\. r\. , 5: S . J. • c.. 4· O ur team was defeated by R ock Hill on M ay r gth. Th e team was wea kened considerably by th e poor ph y ical condition of some o f the playe rs. Stevens was not up to hi. u ·ual form in th e box and he was hit with such good effect that th e game wa s easil y a R ock Hill game. Dy a series of bunts a nd squeeze plays Rock Hill sco red four run s in th e ninth innin o·. Sco re: R. 1-f .. 9 : s. J. C., 3· O n th e Saturday fo llo win g the team showed its capabiliti es by defeatin g th e ~ tro n g aggregati on from Catholi c U niversity. Th e Catho li c boys we re stro ng !titters and made three run in th e fir st inning . O ur team th en buckl ed clo wn to overcome the lead o f th e univer. ity boys, and by ome o f th e ha rdest hitting ever seen on th e home fi eld finall y wo n th e g am e. Sco re: C. 1.;., 7: S. J. c., IO . Gallaucl et came over on th e 28th and dropped a g am e to us. O ur fi elding was very errati c and thi s cau sed an eleven inning game. O ur team mad e eleven il hits. while Stevens allo wed only five. \<\T ,o n J. fini shed the g am e in th e box and had th e mutes at hi s mercy . Sco re: Ga llaucl et, 6 : S . J . C., 7· l\II . A . C. ag ain went d own to defeat before ottr team a t Co ll ege Park . It was a complete whitewash for i\I. A. C., as Wilson J. had th e .. Aggies" completely at hi s mercy, whil e Goetz. for M. A. C., wa s almo. t compl etely at our mercy. Melvill e was th e star o f th e g am e, ma king three run s and bring in g 111 three mo re with hi s hard hitting. Score: M. A. C., o ; S. J. C., 12. St. J ohn 's ca me off victorious in the g am e with Dickin son at Carli sle, P a .. on Saturday, June 4th. Our team made three error , but on account o f th e 119 �Basketball Game ST. J OHN· ::; AL U M !\ ! Wl N!:'-l'KHlN CO LLEGE .\LU MN I DEf'E .\TED I:Y A VEHY C LOSE SCO Ric. . of ~ <( "' 1- .J .J <( The St. J ohn 's A lumni defeated th e st rong tea m rep resentin g th e A lumni U ni on Co li ge of T\e w Y ork la st winter in the St. J ohn' s Gy mna sium by a ·co re o f 17 to 16. Th e game was a cracke rj ack from sta rt to fini . h, abo un din g with prepost ro usly s1 ectac ul a r plays. U nion Coll ege showed up well in tea m \\'Ork, wh ile th e St. J o hn' · team exce ll ed in shoo tin g goa ls. Lin e up: Ill I- '" "' "' <( Ill J'ro fesso r . .. . ... . .. .. ........ . . . . . G . . . .... . . . .. . . .... ... . . . . .... Doctor A mos .. ... . . . . .. ... . . .. . . .. . .. . .. 1~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . i{ame e Wa lter .. . .. . . . .. . .. ...... . .... . . . . C. .. . ... . ... . . .... .. .... . ... Cla rence W ri g ht. . . .. .. . . ... . .. ... . . . . . . . . . 1 ... .. . . .. . .... . ... . . . . .. . . . .. \1\fil so n • Woo dcock . . . . . . . . . ... ..... .. ... . . G . .. ... ..... .. . . . . .. . . .. ..... Stry ker Goal: fro m fi elcl- \ iValtei·. 3: Amo, 3: \i\foodcock, z : Stryke r, 4 ; Ram eses, Goais f rom fo ul ~-S t ryke r. 2 : A mos. R eferee- Ir. T odd, o f t. J ohn 's. lJmpire--~·h . B lackstone, o f Baltim ore City . T imekeepers- i\J essr s. E ly a nd Y \'ick cr. 3· 123 �Basket Ball 1910-1911 ONS ID E RI:\i G that thi s was o ur econd ·easo n in bas ketball, it m ay be ju dged a fairl y su ccessful o ne. as we h ave t h e s tro ngest c laim t o th e ~J a ry l a n d in terco ll egiate cha mpi o ns hip. Th e t ea m wo n s ix ga m e· and lost eig h t durin g th e seaso n . l\Ian y of t h e ga m es whi ch we lo. t we re du e to th e bad Hoo rs o n w hi ch th e tea m h ad to play. St. J ohn' s ope ned its basketba ll season n Dece mbe r 17th in t h e coll ege gy mn asium with t he s tro ng Ga ll a u det Co ll ege team. I n t h e first half th e ho no rs we re abo u t eve n. bot h tea m s play in g fast ancl hard . T he half en ded with th e sco re 8-8. At th e beginning of th e second half our L•! 1 1ll see med to strike its pace ami easil y ra n u1) a la rge sco re on the mutes. Captain \ iVil son a nd Ruhl played . ta r games for St. J ohn 's. Sco re: S. J . C., 34: Gall a udet, rr. O n January 7th tlw St. J ohn 's quintet lin ed up again st t he Baltimore City Co11 Pge team. O ur team had th e Baltimore boys outcla ssed throug hout th e contest. It was onl y a questi on o f how many po in ts we wo uld be able to sco re. Wi lson again pl ayed th e b e~t game fo r t. J ohn' :, whi le B row n played a fin e defensive g ame for U. C. C. Score: S. J. C.. 22; lJ. C. C., 6. O ur team went down to defeat befo re the !' trong Navy team in th e third g·ame o f the season. Alth oug h we were defeated by a large sco re. we played a better game than t he team of last yea r. St. J ohn' s was th e fir st to sco re. Th is a roused th e middi es. a nd they soo n had a large lead on our team. In th e . eco nd half the N avy used ma ny sub!' titute. . who played ju st a good a ga me a: th eir fir st team. St . Jo hn· ~ p ut up a good game, but were sim ply o utclassed. St. J ohn' s easily defeated th e L oyola College team on the nig ht after th e Penn sylvani a game. L oyo la started the game with lots o f confidence, but were not able to make much headwa y aga in st our team. \t no tim e during the contest were we in danger o f defeat. Wi lson, Thomp son and Clayton played a trong g ame for St. J ohn' s. Sco re : S. J. C., 37 ; Loyola, r I. O ur team we nt to Lex in ot o n on the 20th o f J anuary to play th e V. l\1. I. a nd vV . and L. team ~ . We lost th e g am e with ·w ashin gton a nd L ee by th e sco r~ o f 46 to 20. Con iclering that our team had traveled all clay and wa s playmg on a stran o·e fl oo r, under unfamili a r rules, they played a cred itable game. J ohn son was the star fo r St. John' s, whil e Boyd and Glasgow starred for W. and L. Sco re: S. J. C., 20; W. a nd L. , 46. O n th e fo llow ing aftern oon our team played a snappy game with the V . l\1. I. cadets. In the first half both team s played well , a nd it seemed to be an ybody' s g am e. In th e second half o ur team soon gained a lead o n th e cadets by superior team work. Th e feature of th e game wa s a long pass from W elch to W il son, wh ich res ulted in a basket. Score: S. J . C., 33 : V . l\1. I., rr. , . St. J ohn' s wa s defeated by Catholi c U niv ersity in t he latter' s gymnasium . 1 h1 s ':as one o f th e fa ste. t games ever played in Washing ton. In the fir t few mmut_e. o f play th e Catholi c boys had a decided advantage over us, a nd it looked as 1f th ey wo uld take th e g am e easily. Our team soon took a brace and ~ve had th em on th e run fo r the rest o f th e game. S t. J ohn 's started a spurt 111 the last few minutes o f play and came very near overcoming our opponent' s lead. Had the . game lasted a little longer th ere is 1~0 cl ubt that we would have wo n th e ga me. \Velch did th e best wo rk for S t. J ohn' s. Sco re: S. J . C., 34:C.U. . 37· O n Feb rua ry roth o ur team met the M t. St. J oseph' s team in th e home gy mn asium. O ur team started off with a ru sh, a nd we soon had th e opponents at our mercy. It was only a question o f ho w man y points we wo uld be abl e to score. \ s Mt. St. Joseph' s late r defeated th e M. A. C. team, thi s is one o f th e games on whi ch we claim the colle!tiate cham1)ionshi1) . S core : S . J . C . , 0.3 ; . c. . ~ l\Jt. St . J oseph 's, 10. Sco re: S. J. C., 16 : N a vy, 49· Th e U ni versity of Penn sy lvani a defeated St. J ohn' s in t he coll eo·e gymnas ium by th e sco re of 36-1 5. ln t h e fir t h a lf th e uni vers ity t ea m p layed rin gs a round our boy., who seemed to have a case o f stage f rig ht. Ou r team sco red only one p int in thi s pe ri d. whil e th e Penn sy lvania boys rolled up twenty-fiv e. In the second half o ur team played a g reat game and gave the Penn tea m a scare. vVe clearl y outplayed th em in thi s half. and had we started th e game in thi s ma nn er wou ld have g ain ed a victo ry. St. J ohn' s scored fourteen poin t.; to th e U. o f Pa . eleven in thi s half . core: S . J . C., IS: U. of Pa., 36. B. l\1. C. d efea~ ecl St. John 's in one o f th e roug hest and hardest games eve r pl ayed on th e R 1 chm ond \rmory court. O ur team fought ha rd to wi n thi s game, aucl wo ul d probably have clone better had they not been penalized so o ften by the referee. Th e D. l\I. C. boys obtain ed a goo d lead in th e latte r pa1·t o f th e fir st half . which our team was not able to overcome. S co re : S . J. C ., 29: B. M. C., 46. In a fast a nd interestin g g am e St. J ohn' s lo. to the stro ng quintet o f G_eorgetown _tJniversity. Th e score does not show how close thi s game wa s. Up to the m1clclle o f the second half th e sco re was first in o ur favor, then in our opponents.. St. J ohn 's seemed to fa lter a t th e close o f th e game , a nd th e G. U . boys CJUtckly netted fo ur basket , which gave th em th e game. T he feature o f the game came in the second half, when Martin , of Geo rgetow n, caged th e ball for St. J ohn' s. J ohn son, at centre, played a strong game for S t. J ohn's. Score : S. J. C., r8 ; G. U., 29. 124 125 �St. J ohn' s defeated H. M. in a hard -fo ug ht game in the co llege gy mnasium. Th is wa s th e game of th e . sea ·o n for our team, a considerable rivalry has sprung up between th e two schoo ls in ba sketball. O ur team went on th e Aoor determined to wipe out the defeat whi ch had been admini terecl in our fir . t game with B . NI. C. O ur boy eas ily too k the lead in th e fir st half by their fa st team work, a nd gain ed a lead which o ur opponent were unable to overcome. In th e second half both team s played a beautiful game, but H. M. C. was not able to do anything with th e fin e defen se o f o ur team. \1\fil on. Welch and Clayton played a good game for St. J ohn' s. Sco re : S. J. C., 29: B. M. C., ro. O n Tuesday, th e 23d, our team lost to t . l\J. C., at Cheste r, Pa .. by the close sco re of 20-.2±. The ga m e as a wh ole was well p layed by b oth tea m s. P. M. C. obtain ed a good lead o n our team in the fir st hal f. In the second half we developed a good attack and gave the P. l\J. C. team a run for th eir money . Score: S. J. C., 20; P . M. C., 24. In th e closing game of the season we were defeated by Loyola in a rath er un sati factory game. O ur team playing o n a non-regul ation floor und er trange rules were at a g reat di sadvantage. O n account o f the low ceiling our men were un able to try any long hots. Loyola play in o- t heir best game of th e seaon and on th eir o wn court, came off victori ous. Sco re: Loyola, I 3; S. J. ., 4· :r <( "' 1- " 0 <( a: 1- 126 �Inter-Class Gym. Meet Track Team 1911 O ur tran: season wa s o pened by the team s entering the George \ Vashington meet . in whi ch Gail ey ente red th e quarter , J ohn son, C. L.. th e fift y-yard cla sh, qualifying fo r th e final s. Ryder ran in th e hundred ya rd cla sh. \ 'Vooclwarcl ente red th e mi le and ran a goo d race. fini shin g fourth. At the Geo rgetow n meet we had but two repre;oentatives, Klin efelter runmng tn the m:l e a nd R yder in th e fifty and hundred yard clashes. J ohn s H opkin s held a meet in th e Fifth Reg iment Armory. 1 ltim ore. in -\a which Jo hn so n, C. L. , entered the hundred yard dash. qualifying for the final s: \ Voodwa r :l 111 ~1 cle fo urth place in the mil e and R yder entered th e two tw enty and quarter. r\n outdoor meet with Gettys burg is pendin g for May 27th . Th e team has entered th e inter-collegiate meet at l\1. A . C., to be held on May zoth. 128 N th e ni g ht of March th e 3d a ve ry s u ccessful gy m me et w2s h eld in our gy mna s ium. Th e m eet bega n s ho rtl y aft e r 8 o'cl oc k, and the eve nt s we re run o ff fairl y well ; :t lasted until midn' g ht. Even th e n some cont est s. had to be o mitt ed . Th ere were se,·e ral s urpri ses. Fi rs t of a ll , m a ny wh o had not train ed in th e leas t fo r an y of th e e vents s ho wed remarkab le form . Especia ll y wa s thi s th e case with the Juni o rs. Seco ndl y, g reat ri\·alry s prang· up b etwe en th e classes at the la s t minut e. and eac h e \'e nt th e refore proved m ost int e res tin g. F in all y , the g reat Se ni o r tug of wa r t eam , whi ch "T ubb y " O wen had so carefull y train ed and in structed, we nt clo wn in humiliating defeat before the r bu ~ t Sophs. Th e contest between th e Junior s and Sop hs in thi s event wa s fo ug ht most doggedl y by both parties, and finall y t·es ultecl in a draw. Th e fir st event on th e programme wa s th e 30-ya rd cia h, in which there was a large numb er o f co ntesta nts. Tho e who qua lifi ed in th e fir st round were Petit. '14: Ga il ey, 'yz: Ryd er. 'r z: J ohn on, C. L.. 'rr: Droadrup, '12: F ell. 'r3, and :\f o i ~ an and Youn g. preps. In th e fir st heat o f th e semi-final s three Juni ors ran ag ain st each other a nd a Sophomore. Thi : oversig ht , no do ubt . effected th e fin als, f or as it wa s Juniors eliminated each oth er. John son. ' 1 1. won th e final s. Each cla ss was rep resented in the 220 by one contestant. and an exciting race ensued. J ohn son wa · the winn er of thi . al so. Th e mil e wa a very pretty race. \1\fooclwarcl is especially to be comm end ed for the race he ran . Th ere were few contestants in th e events on the horizontal and parallel bars, th e horse, rin gs and in mat tumbling. Th e fles hman tri o, \ Voocl, Hog an a nd R eid , were undoubtedly th e wh ole show and perform ed very creditably. Gail ey, 'rz, in th e tumblin g . was the only upper classman who go t a fir st in th ese contests. lVIore rivalry existed in th e jumping events. and each class gain ed a fair propo rtion o f points. The Senior s, on account of Dickin son' s good work, were slig htly in th e lead. The rope climbin rr and hig h clive went to J ohn son with co mparatively little effort. The pull up proved very exciting . Things 129 �O'fnOS SINN3.l. �MILITARY DEPARTMENT COMMANDANT OF CADETS LIEUTENANT R. E. FISHER ... .. .... .. ............ 1st Lieut. 14th Cavalry, U. S. A. COMMISSIONED STAFF CADET MAJOR L. C. BATLEY ... ... ..... .. ....... .. ..... .. ...... .. .... ... .............. Major CADET CAPTAIN R. G. Moss ..... ...... ...... ..... .... .. ...... .. .......... .... ... ..Adjutant CADET LIEUTENANT W. STANLEY ..... .. ... ....... .. ........ ....... .... .Quartermaster CADET LIEUTENANT W. L. KOONTZ ...... .... ... .... ... ... .. ....... .... ..... Commissary CADET LIEUTENANT ,J. E. MARSH ........ .... .. ... .... .. ..... . Ordnance Department CADET LIEUTENANT C. A. MULLIKIN .... ...... ..... ...... . Ordnance Department CADET LIEUTENANT J. L. MORRIS ... .... ........ ..... . ...... Ordnance Department CADET LIEUTENANTS. R. WHITE, JR. ............. .. ... .... .Chief of Signal Corps NON-COMMISSIONED STAFF CADET SERGEANT-MAJORS. D. Hopkins ...... ..... .... .... ... ..... Sergeant-Major MAJOR L. C . BAILEY 134 13.5 �NOIIV.l.lVB 3H.l. �Roll of "'A" Company CAPTAIN H. L. JOHNSON LIEUTENANTS C. L. DICKINSON, (1st.) E. B. ROBERTS, (2nd.) L. F. PARSLEY, (2nd. add.) C. G. HASLUP, (1st.) w. G. CATLIN. SERGEANTS B. MICHAELSON, (Co. Q. M.) J. A. BRASHEARS CORPORALS I. E. RYDER, E. T. FELL, T. 0. BROADWATER, F. E. HUTCHINSON, R. s. G. WELCH. s. VAN KIRK. PRIVATES Alger, M. Brattan Caminero Cassard Cecil, M. Chaney Clark, M. Clark, R. G. Clayton Coutino Dawes Dixon Dorsey Gambrill, R. Han well Hill Hoffman Hogan Hong Hopkins, T. C. Hutchins Jones, R. 0. Lamar McNutt 140 X J J j[ 0 MUSICIANS J. C. MILLER, It ::> 0 Noble Palmer Parlett, G. C. Parlett, J. R. Phillips, W. Rein berg Selby, J. C. Steele Todd Worthington Ziegler �Roll of ""B" Company CAPTAIN R. K. ADAMS LIEUTENANTS K. E. WILSON, (1st. ) C. L. JOHNSON, (2nd) J. F . DAVIS, (2nd add.) SERGEANTS C. H . RIGGIN, (1st.) G. L. WINSLOW, (Co. Q. M.) R. D. BROADRUP CORPORALS p, B. BRISCOE; L. E . PAYNE; J. N. WILSON; W. S. FITZGERALD; C. F . PHILLIPS. MUSICIAN KELLY PRIVATES Andrew, H. Andrews, H. R. Basil Brittle bank Buckley Coomber Dodge Eltinge Fields Fowler Gates Gladden Hall Hyde Jacobs Jones Joyce Kaiser Luyster Marcer Marshall Martin Mason Matthews, H. McCabe Nason P ierce, J. Prout Reeder Revell Reid Robertson Sadler Selby, H. Smith, R. Starlings Tennant Tucker •· O N A HIKE '• 142 �Roll of ~~c" Company CAPTAIN E. M. OWEN LIEUTENANTS W. R. VANSANT, (1st.) S.C . DRAKE, (2nd.) T. PARRAN, Jr., (2nd. add.) SERGEANTS F. S. MATTHEWS, (Co. Q. M. ) R. S. HOPKINS. A. E. WILLIAMS, (1st.) W. LENTZ, CORPORALS w. w. JONES; w. WOODWARD; G. W. GERING; 0 RUHL; G. W. SCHULTZ. ~ KIMBERLY. PRIVATES Andrews, H. J. Brant Burton Cecil, E. Christian Claude Downs Flannigan Frere Hundley Hungerford Hutchinson, C. King, J. King, J. F. Klinefelter Lewis Magruder Mansfield Milbourne Moisan Phillips, S. Pierce, A. Par lade Patterson Smith, R. Stiener 144 < " '" I MUSICIANS YOUNG; z Thompson Tolson Twigg Warner Wells Welch, R. 0. White, B. Wood Whitmyer Wolkowsky Wools �Signal Corps Lieutenant S. Sergeant R. WHITE P. L. ALGER PRIVATES z ~ BOURKE McKINLEY CHESTON LIGON .. DAVIDSON, G. FALKNER, V. OWSLEY 0 HAMBLETON RANDALL HARTLEY TAYLOR II: :t: <( PEACE JEWELL 148 �"Turn o ut the g ua rd !" cam e the ~ h a rp cry fr om Po: t No. r. a nd o ut came th e g ua rd. up to t heir kn ees in the mud and trying to loo k so ldi erl y. and " vVarny"-ah! ho w th e immo rtal "\IVa rn y " die! shin e ! P utting on hi s most wa rlike look a nd in ring ing to nes he comm a nd ed th e g uard to "fall in." Camp Rain lJ ut "\Va rn y " wa s sold: th e jo ke wa s o n him , and he kn ew it, as f ro m behind that bri stling mustache ca me th e well-kno wn vo ice of hi s life-long enen 1y. "Hoocll e, .. sayi ng. ·' \' eve r mind th e g ua r d, Li eutenant." T hi s incid ent c]o,ed activi tie s in camp. an d during th e r ema inder o f J un c week eve ry body li ved comfo rtably in the ha ll s a nd ha d a n excell ent tim e no twith standing th e steady ra infall. whi ch laqed th e whole week. ' ·:-~ · ·UC H to th e di sappo intment of the cadets, it wa : decided th at th e ;Jl\w~ ~ ~g "!~~ v camp should again be upon th e rear campu s. O n Jun e 8th th e ba ttalion was a ssembl ed and soon th~ camp began to ri se. All aftern oon th e cadets wo rked like beaver s. a nd by evening the camp was prepa red for occupancy . Camp '' Rain " was situated simila rl y to th at o f th e yea r befo re. abo ut seventy-five yard s in the r ea r o f the gymnasium an d fac in g K in g Geo rge street. D urin g th e evening o f th e fir st clay rain began to fa ll , th e g ro und soon became muddy and th e cadet s chill y. A few slept in ca mp th at nig ht , but a waken ing in th e mo rnin g and findin g th e ra in still ho lding sway, a gener al exod us began . Hy th e evenin g of th e second clay all but few of th e stoutest-h earted had moved into th e halls. A nd till it r a in ed and mudd ier became th e gro und and colde r g rew th e cam pers, until even th e bra vest co ul d no longer withstand th e ~te acl y o n slaug ht of th e chilly r ain . O n th e third day th e camp wa s le ft to th e g uard a nd the ra in , whil e the r eveled in warmth a nd dryness in their roo ms. The g uard wa s changed dail y, and th e fell o ws sho wed their m ettle as th ey went abo ut in th e pursua nce o f th eir duti es, covered with mud a nd wet throug h f rom th e rain . ~t ud e nt s ] n front o f th e g ua rd tent was a most lu scio us hole fill ed with wet, so ft , yel lo w clay . O n th e clay thi s ho le was th e juiciest a nd th e r enow ned Warenf elt z wa s 0 . G., a rumo r was spread that an arm y officer wa s coming o n a visit o f in spection. ' '\tVarny" poli shed hi s swo rd, aided hi s bed raggled g ua rd to get th e mud o ut o f th eir eyes a nd hai r, and at clow n to await th e coming of th e in specto r. P r esently a military fi g ure loo m ed into view around the corn er o f the o ld gy mnasnun. ' Twas a most im po sing fi g ure, too . clad in well-fitting khaki unifo rm a nd puttees : tl: c face wa s ado rned by a pair o f pie rcin g eyes . an aq uilin e nose and a coal black mu stache hid a firm-lipp ed mouth. 150 151 �Collegian Board, 1910-,11 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF E. c B. ROBERTS, '11 ASSIST ANT-EDITOR-IN-CHIEF I[ <( 0 m W. L. z KOONTZ, '11 <( li "' _J _J 0 u ASSOCIATE EDITORS C. L. J. L. JOHNSON, MORRIS, R. G. Moss, '11 '11 E. M. OwEN, '11 ' 11 R. D. BROADRUP, '12 BUSINESS MANAGERS C. L. DICKINSON, W. R. '11 1.53 VANSANT, '11 �R. WELCH ............... ...... ... ............. .... .... .............. ... ......... Athletic Editor G. w. TODD, JR. G. E. GERING M. CECIL W. SCHULTZ Rat-Tat Board for 1912 ~ ...... ...... ... ........... Asst. Athletic Editors ·· ··· ...... ... . NIAL TWIGG.......... .. ··-·············· ····· ......... ..... ...... .. .... ... ....... Art Editor T, 0. BROADWATER ...... .. ... ..... .. .. .... ....... ..... ..... ............ . Asst. Art Editor F. E . HUTCHINSON ..... ... ............. ....... .. .. ... ......... .. .... .. ... .Humorous Editor EARL CRUM .......... ... .. ..... ..... ... ... .. Editor-in-Chief T. SPICKNALL ........ .... ..... ...... ..... .... ........... _ ..... . Asst. Humorous Editor .. C. C. MAGRUDER ........ .... ..... Asst. Editor-in-Chief W. S. FITZGERALD .. ... .. .... ... .......... ....... ... ............... ... ..... ..... ... Secretary EDGAR T. FELL .................... Miscellaneous Editor A. G. R. H. TENNANT E. McNuTT V. HOFFMAN ANDREW ~ ..... . .. ... ..... .. .... .. .. ..... ....Asst. Miscellaneous Editors J. N. WILSON ...... ..... .... ... .... ........... ... ......... ......... . ........ ....... .Treasurer W. WOODWARD W. RUHL EARL LEWIS ~ .. ... ... .... ...... .... ................_ . .... Business Managers ... J. P. JACOBS.... ..... ...... ..... ..... .. ........ .... .. . ..... ....... ... ... .... Literary Editor R. BRATTAN ' E. A. JONES w. KLINEFELTER c. F. PHILLIPS I I ... .... ....... ..... ....... ...... ......... Asst. Literary Editors I G. E. DRYDEN .... .. ... .... ... ....... ................. .. ......... ..... ..... .Alumni Editor }:· :.· :o~~:~NS } . . . . . .... .... . . ..... ......... . . . . ... Asst. Alumni Editors A. W. JoYCE ... .... .... . .. ... ............ .................. Town and Campus Editor D. E. CAMPBELL A. GLADDEN F. MASON t \ ... ..... ... ............ .. .. ... Asst. Town and Campus Editors 154 . 155 �Coronation of King Dorsey (M ay r st, 1910.) There was an old ma n nam ed Dorsey, \ Vho once feel us beef that was ho rsey : Though omew hat a dreamer, H e·s bette r than R eamer . Thank God! l i e's a trump, i Dorsey . A fter which introductory ditty, it now behooves me. as sa ith th e proph et. to pre. ent to thi aLwu st assemblage for coronation King Dorsey, Emperor o f the Eggs, rown P rin ce of P run es and Peas and Lord of the Larder-" fir st in dinner, first in lun ch, fir st in th e hearts of the St. J ohn' s bunch ' ' Gree tin o·s, 0 Kino·! May yo u be a long liver and bacon-may yo ur proo·eny ever thrive a nd fl ouri sh in thi s land of peas and prunes and pies. Fo r yo u came to us in the winter o f our di sco ntent, when with] \eef to th e ri o·ht of us. Deef to the left of us. 11eef all around us, \ ·o il eyed and thundered : To matoe. that had no fea rs. Eggs that were old in years. Ham that brought us to tears. Sadly we wond ered. Out of th e da rkn es then Came thi s g r at King of men Hack to real hash aga in , Thu s did he lead u : S had now and so up th at 's red, Prunes a nd much g inge r-bread; A ll honor to our g reat head. Long may he feed u. ! 'Tis not often that in th e li fe of one of uch tende r yea1 such a pri~·l'fege­ ·s yea, I may say p!rasurc-fall s as ha fallen to me. To have been selected as 157 �a s th e chi ef "belly-aker '' by such a worth!ess-I mean worth}·.-committee of the faculty is ho nor eno ug h for a ny stewed prun e, much less a dri ed apple . But. then, to have thi s oth er far g rand er honor th rust on me, I mi g ht even say gently sh07H! d at me. th e honor of presenting to yo u thi s. o ur wo rth y Feede r of th e l\I otl ey H o rd e-rea lly, Ladies a nd Gentl emen, my K-nuckl es K-nock togeth e r with fea r and my K-nees K-rack with K-ramps. A nd how wa . he di scove red? A h! 'ti s with fa r g reater pl eas ure that I d isclose thi s fact to yo u, a rtl ess. astute assemblage of Ann apo litan ari stocra ti c a ntiqu es. Fo r 'tis to o ur clea r and beloved professo r , M r. A. Mose Cooclwock- may th e shades o f th e usual con. ig nm ent o f sa u. ages pard on me fo r thi s g lim pse into th eir past-to him. 1 ~ ay. pax sec um , nux vom ica-is du e all hono r a nd credit for th e di scove ry o f thi s K in o· o f th e Lima Bea n. Hi s wea ry, wobbly wa lk may be een at any tim e wa nd erin g its wi stful way along th e campu s. And may it wobbl e tor ma ny decad es to come! Ti s not infrequent ly that he deig ns to lo wer himself by eating at th e faculty tabl e-with tho se shiny-coated pedagogues of the ,·intao·e o f '75 . But wh en he do-K-reest ho w he do enj oy it! And may we a ll live long to cha nt yo ur prai ses. O h. K ing of great kings, hard to beat, hi ef o f the Cheese and B uckwh ea t ca kes, Beneath whose awful hand we eat Liver a nd Bacon and o·ood co rn Rak es : G reat Lord o f G rub~d o n't leave us yet, L est we forget- lest we fo rget. COLLEGe: LIFE 158 �P ro f. C.- " Mr. Mi ll er, wh at is th e pressure on a column o f water?" 1\!Lill er-" On e atom. " Pro f. C.- " Moth er , come take me ho me." Ba il ey- "B ri ttlebank. wha t is th e na me o f yo ur g un ?'' Rrittleba nk-' 'Winchester, sir." Humorous Dr. Fell ( in Psychology Class) - " l\1r. K oontz. suppoce yo u went o ut to a beautifu l young lady so me evening and under th e influence o f her presence proposed to her, and. bein o· refu sed. what would yo u call yo ur se lf the next mo rning?" ~ee Pro f. C.- "M L vVilli am what P g h ?'' \N illiam s- "Gh." P ro f. C.--" You mean G. 0. H .'' L ong J ohn-" I say. P ro fes.;o r . it is a fin e cl ay . isn 't it ?'' P ro f. vVoo dcock-''I'm a la 11·ye r (s ir ). and never g ive my opinion with out bein g pa id for it." K oo ntz ( aside) - " D--n fool. .. Dr. F ell-" \ Vhat was that. l\f r . K oontz ?' ' K oo ntz-J ackass. D octor ." Pro f. Rip.-"M r. Bo wlu s, what th e syno nym fo r wealth ?" Bow lu s-" I have run a sp linter under my fin geL'' D rake- ''Yo u were scratching yo ur head-weren't you:"" 0. D . ( to ~entin e l ) -" \1\f hat would yo u do Sentin el- " Ru n cl own th e fire escape . siL ' ' the constant quantity in th e formula IS 111 IS th e name o f th e street whose name Uowlu s- ''Main street." ca se o f fir e or d isord er:'" \ ·i ·itor at P rep. Schoo l- '' Doctor. how many men do yo u have studying here?" D r. Gladcl en- "O h, about one-t hird. " P ro f. .- '':\[r. Stal ey . gw e the law o f pa ral: el currents." Staley-"T11·o currents runnin g pa rall el to each oth er meet a t a:1 apex . P ro f. C..-"H ow ha s electricity irnpmvecl ?'' \ Vin slow-' ' \1\fith tim e." Catlin-" Don't yo u thi nk I'm ra th er good loo king?'' Hi s L ady Fr iencl.-" In a way ." Catlin-" \1\f hat kind o f a way?" I-:Ti s Lady F ri end-;; A way o ff.' ' i\fa so n- ''I ha ve a co ld or something Cho ru s-" It mu st be a cold ." J ones ( in Calculus)-'· Pr o f es~o r. is that 'cl x' a co n ~ tant Payne ( at th e tabl e : g rap e f ruit bein g se rved ) - Catlin-" Wh at is t he matter, Doc? '' P ayne.- " T hi s cl--n orange is .~ o ur as h--.'' 111 my head .'' va ri able :- .. \Vil son K .- " I don't kn ow my French today. P r o f es~o r . " P ro f. S iri ch- ' 'O h. th at' s all rig ht : you'll have all nex t year to 160 1s P ro f. S tryker-" Mr. Petit. what becam e o f Henry \'TI ?" Petit-'· A-a-a- he di ed.'' ~ea rn it." Prof. Siri ch.-' '1\lr. Do wlu s, tran slate. '' T here was a wooden tabl e roo m. I lo w lu s-''\1\f hat' s woo den. P ro fesso r ?" Pro f. S iri ch ( pointing at hi s heacl ) - " That's wooden." 161 111 th e �Pro f. Cecil-" lVIr. Alger , if a sto ne should fall from th e top o f a ho use, and hit you on the head, wo uld it be doing work?' ' Alger-"Y es. ' ir-work for the undertaker." Zi egler ( in B rattan' s roo m )-" Say , l:k b, what are these thin gs ?'' Brattan-"Th ey're military brushes ." Zi egler-''What are they fo r, to brush your uniform with ?'' Payne ( in Germ an Class one cold mo rning ) - '' P ro fes. or, what's th e matte1· with the heat ?" Pro f. Sirich-"G ues. it wa. o ut celebrating last ni g ht and hasn't got back yet." P ro f. Grove.- "Say, Mr. Dor . ey, this piece o f fi ' h isn't half as good as th e one I had last week." l\Ir. Do r sey-"That" s strange, P ro fesso r ; it" s off the ~ am e fi sh." T odd ( to Di xon ) - ''Mose, let me ask yo u a psych ological question. what pa rt of yo ur anatomy is yo ur brain situated ?" l\1ose.- '' In the so uthern part. " Toclci-' 'Mose, yo u a re th e eig hth wond er o f the wo r!d ... :'dose- '·And aren't you th e ninth?" ' In P ro f. C.- " What is specifi c g ravity?" A ndrew-' ' \.Vhy, I ro fesso r, yo u go to a well and take the cover o ff and drop a stone clown , and th e tim e from th e moment it leave. yo ur hand until it strikes th e water is th e specifi c g ravity." "Lo ng J ohn"-"Why didn't you come to band practi ce today ?'' Private- ''! have a very sore foot ." L ong J ohn.- " W hat has yo ur foot to do with blowing a horn ?" P rivate- ''\1\fell. it" s th e foot I beat tim e with.' ' H oke ( as he round s the co rn er s in P inkney H aii ) - " H onk! H onk! here comes a Freshma n.'' Pro f. \tVoodcock-' ' :\ly cl ear Mr. H oke. yo u may honk if yo u so desire, but thi s absurd custom by no mean s meets wit h my approval." Pro f. Cecil-" :\Jr . Dryden , what is the fo rmul a for calcium?" Dryden-" Cal. " Pro f. Cecii<- " O h, no ! that' s Cal iforni a .'' Dra ke (on football trip ) -"I 'll take my pie a Ia mode." Waiter ( to :\l aggie).-"What will yo u have ?" :\Iaggie-"1'11 take pi e, too; but make min e plain. " P ro f. C.-"'vVhat is th e uni ve rsal unit o f leng th?" P ayne-"T he second.' ' R yder ( par ing th e enthymene ) -"Eve ry man ' hould be temperate. for excess is harmful. " JYJ ajo1· Premise : "Every man sho uld be tempe rate in th e use o f win e." JI!Jiu or Premise: ''The excess o f win e is harmful. ' ' Co nclnsion : " E very man should be temperate, fo r excess is harmful.' ' ''That' s logic, M iss Ira ; keep at it." T ommy ( reorg anizing chapel seats) - ''Welch, where do you belong?" \tVelch-"H ere. with th e Sophomo re class." T ommy.- " H ow long have you been there?" Welch-" All the tim e." (General laug hter. ) T ommy-"Cut it o ut! Cut it out!" 1~ "3 �Chief Occupations . . . Some Ad vice . . . "Tubby" O wen ........ . . .... . ...... ... . Di spl ay in g hi s knowl edge o f T acti cs '' Casey J ohn s" H ollj es . .. . ... . .. . . . . .... .. . . . . H.unning a Short Lin e E ng in e ·· Books" E.iggin . . . . .... .. . . . . . . . . . . . ...... . .. . Skinning everybody on books ''Jay'' \iVilliam s ........ .. ..... ... . ... ...... .... . ...... . . . . . Helping Riggin Each year the Rat-Tat boards do plan, And to each other say, "Let's get to work in time this year; Don't wait till the last day ." '"T -y" H op kin s . . . . . . . . . : . . .. . . . .. .... ..... Q uelling di s01·der on Juni or fl oo r "I< red' ' M ill e r . . ... . . . .. . . .. .. .. ... ... . Creatin g di sord er wh en not a slee p "Let us not wait like last years board Till with a month or two "' Ravi ator" T odd ..... .. . .. .. : . .. . . .. . .. . . Juggling broom- ctra ws on hi s nose We have to work both day and night; '"E lsie'' Bailey, P res. Y. :'1/f. C. A ... .. .............. ....... . Matching ni ckels This plan will never do ." " Dutch" B roadrup . . .. . .... ... . . . ...... .. .... . . . . .. . B mning midnig ht oil Our board like those of other years .. Fres h y" R eid . .. . .. .. . ... .. . . .. . . .. .... ... .... . . .. .. M ill e r's erra nd boy The very same oath swore, "' Scud s' ' ·w il so n .... ... .. . .. ..... . ... .. . .. . . : . .. . .... Going on th e sick li st Our work by Christmas would be in, Staley . . ....... . .. . ... . . . .. .. . . . .. .. ... . . ... . Do in g something for charity If not some some time before. " Willi e" Catlin .. . . . . ..... . ... . ... . . . ... . . . ...... . . .. . . .. Cru shing his hair But here we are, 'tis Easter now, '·Cy " Has!up ............ . ..... . ...... . ... . ..... . ... . .... . ... .... Dan cin g " R a meses" . . . ... ... . . ... . . . .. . ... . . . . . ......... . .... . ... . . ) " R edd y.. . . . .... ... ... .. . .... .. . .. .. .. . . .... . ..... . ..... .. . Our work is not half done; The printers waiting for our work, Sippin g tea While we have scarce begun. " E ddi e"' . . ............ . ..... . .. . ......... .. .. .. ........ .. . So we must burn the midnight oil ·'S trong-a rm' ' . . . . . .. ... . ........ . . ... ...... .. . ... .. ... .. T ea sipping al so? As time goes on apace ; ·M orri s . . . . . ... .. . .. . . .. . .. .. . .... ... . . .. . ... .... .. .. ....... Eatin g beam Write verses like this foolish one H all ....... . .. .. . . . . . . . . . .. . ... .. . .. . . . ... . .. . . .. . . .. .... . E luding Soph To fill up vacant space . "'Jack" Rip per . ...... . . .. . . . ... . .. . . . ..... . .. ... . ..... ... . . P rotecting H all So let me, coming Rat-Tat boards, "' G rea;oe r '' T wi gg ........ . .... . . . . ... .... . .. .... .. . . Try to Ay an aeropl ane To you expostulate .. Hu zz " Bow lu s . ...... . ........... . .. ... ... . . .. .. L eading Epwo rth' L eague When you begin to write your book "' Spitzboo by'' A lger .. . .. . . .. . . .. ... . . . . .. .... . Findin g a hat to fit hi s head Do not procrastinate. " Gretchen" Lentz .... . .. . .. .... .... . . ... . .. . . .. .. . . . .. . . . L earnin g to cuss 164 165 �... Have You Ever ... . . . LAZY MAN'S CLUB ... Most High Ossified Bed-rider .. ........ ... .. ........ ..................... ...... .... MARSH Chief Snatchers of "Forty Winks" .. .... ...... ....... .. ..... ....... .. ... .. .. { :I~~:: Did y ou ever after supper, Go up to you r room straightway, With the good intent to study, Six hard lessons for next day? Expert Demonstrator of Ease ...... .. .... ........... .. ... .. .... ...... .. ..... ... BROADRUP Noble Executor of Sleep .............. . .. ..... .... ....... . .. ... ........ ... ... ..... ... JACOBS And while placing books before you H ave y ou h e ard in loud called tone. Rising from the hall below yo u SOME DESIRES That you're wanted on the phone? D id you, when you reached the phone-booth Find some girl y ou think's all right, ..... ............. .To be Major OWEN ....... . ....... .. . HASLUP .... .. .. ........ . .. .... . .... To get a "Pineapple" BROADRUP ..... .......... ... ... ..... .... To be a track-man BOWLUS .... ... .. . ............ ... ............ To be a Senator MULLIKIN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. ...... ....... .... To graduate MICHAELSON ....... .. .......... .. .. .. ..... .. .. .More beans MoRRIS .... ...... ...... ...... ...... .. . ...... Still more beans MILLER ... ....... .... .......... ............... To get married Givin g you an invitation •·If you will, co me down tonight"? H a ve you pondered one short moment Can you such a good chance s purn? Then a cce pte d , thinkin g meanwhile , " I will work when I return"? Have you spent a pleasant evening With the best fa ir maid you know, And to be in b y te n-thirty HOT DOG CLUB .. . At twenty after, ros e to go? D id you stand in dimlit s tair way Take too long to say goodby, Miss te n-thirty by ten minutes? " Long John" H l)LLJES .... .. . . . . . . .. ... ... . .. ... ... .. . . . . .Past Grand Dog Stabber "Lizz" WINSLOW .. ................... ..... ... ... ............ Past Grand Biscuit Splitter ''Roomy'' MORGAN ...... .... .. .................... . ... .... .... . .. Chief Collector of Pups "Nuts" McNUTT ... .. ... ........ .. ...... .... ... ... ........... ... Royal Dispenser of Dogs "Dearie" CAMPBELL ... ..... ....... .............. Grand Howler of " Hot Daw-wg" FRESHMEN ... .......... .. .. . ........ ... ..... ......... Chief Accumulators of Bellyaches "Tommy" FELL .. ............... ......... .Physician to the Poor (Freshmen) 166 All too fas t the minutes fly. H a ve you cre pt in slea lthy manne r, Back, afrai d lest you b e caught. S oon so sleepy that you c an not Study lessons as you ought? 167 �Satan--Hello, E xchange ! Give me the Information D epartm ent. Hello, S ulphuru s--busy? W ell, drag your freig ht in my direction. What? Yes. hake it up. (Rings off. ) (Two and a quarter minute later-enter S ulphuru s.) S ulphurus ( bo wing) - At thy co mm and , 0 helli sh sire. Satan-'Morning! Ho w' s that classification work co ming on ? Sulphun1s-vVe have just completed th e li st o f Railroad official s. : ire, andSatan-Well , we' ll have to get that thing fini shed and our boo ks fi xed up for the Judg ment Day rush. vVhat li st do we take next ? S ulphurus- College pro fesso rs, Y our M aj esty. Satan~L ~ t' s get bu sy, th en ; what bun ch heads that li t ? S ulphurus (seated at cle.- k reading fro m reco rcl s) -The faculty o f St. J ohn' s College, Si1e. Satan--Where in H ell is that ? Sulphurus-Annapo li s, 0 infernal K ing. Satan-- A nn apoli s? D o you mean Crabtown ? Sulphuru s-Yes, Your Majesty : I crave parcial) for my error. It is so metim es calld A nnapolis. Satan-Well , be more specific herea fter. No w to work. Who's the big cheese in that bun ch ? S ulphurus- O ne scho larly g entleman named "Tommy." S atan~ A ll ri g ht ; shove your face into that book and deal us out some elope a s to hi s character. Sulphurus ( read s ) - No . .05, " T ommy. .. Give pills to patients; teaches Ethics and S unday Bible class; skin s Andrew Carn egie and others out o f their hard-earned cash; lend s money to students when they are broke; and ( turn s from boo k ) by the way , T o mmy has charge o f th e students' damag e fees anclSatan-- Aw ! choke it off . (Pond ers.) Huh! Bibl e class-pill s ! He's almost no--but maybe-' er-it don't seem to me.- 'er-0, well, let's hold thi s case over for future developm ent . Sulph nru s-Then, Sire, comes one kno wn a s Turk. Satan-Well , what' s he done ? S uiphuru s ( read s) - No. IOOI , " Turk." V ice-President. Dislikes equally tea and Carrie N ation ; occupies balcl-heaclecl row at every matinee; run s athletics, mandolin and g lee clubs, dramatic society and everythin g else; al soSata n-C ut it! Cut it! H e'll do. Just fits the bill for Vice-P resident o f my Immig ration Company. P ut him clo wn for that job. \ 1\Te'll get him , that' s a cinch. 1\ext. m1 S ulph c s- O ne Bob vVhite, 0, King. Sata n--G ive us hi s pedig ree. Sulphurus ( read s) -~o. M D CLX, "Bob White. " Rai ses cabbage in hi s back yard . li ves on Greek root ; talks like a bu sted phonograph ; A meri can descendant o f the Greek go ds. Satan-- F ine record! Greek fanatic! H e don't rate any job aro und here, and if he doesn't improve by th e time he arrives we'll just let him sizzle. S ing out th e nex t . S ulphuru s-His name is W hi sker s, Your M aj esty. Satan--That so unds interesting . T ell us about him . Sulplnrus ( reads )~No . 999, \ 1\Thi sker s-King o f th e P reps. Run s po ultry farm on back campu s; uses pony to Caesar ; hail s from T exas; sport s noble crop o f spinach on chin, andSatan-Describe the spin ach. S ulphnn1 ~ -Close to the g round do they han g . Sire; and, verily, the winds ·do make nlLlch nobl e sport o f them-also the P reps. O f the texture o f a broo m are those whi sker s. Satan-T hat' s ea y. T he street cleaning sc1uacl for hi s. Say, that' s an awfltl gang-but who's next ? S ulphuruSr--One, Sire, known a s Jack. Satan---L et' s have hi s record. S ulphuru s ( reads) - No. IX , "Jack the Ripper.. , Back yard horti culturi st ; plays tenni s; g uardian of per secuted P reps. ; enemy o f the mu ch-abused pony. Satan- Lord knows what we can do with him . H e appears harml ess and irrespous1b! e, ho wever. vVe 'Il just turn him loose in side to amuse th e oth er s. Next! Sulphurus- I s one Spiclerlegs, Infernal K ing . Satan-T ell us about thi s Spieler leg . Sulphurus ( read s )~No. r 5, "Spiclerlegs." Cute Campu s Cowboy; skips Tactics and soaks students fo r being absent ; pet hobby is the National Guard ; tell sSatan--That's enoug h . Tin soldi er. eh ? Good ! W e'll make him Chie f o f the Hades Police Force as soon as he land s. Who follows him ? Sulphurus- Grove, Yo ur Hig hn ess; a new member . H eSatan-- Ne w member ? Don't slate him anyw here; wait till he develops. Give us an other . Sulph urus-The next is A rm ·trong, most noble Sire. Satan-Isn't he a new one ? 170 171 ~~ W"here They W" ill Land'" Comedy in One Act .) * * DRAM ATIS PER SONAE. Hi s S:Jtanic M ajesty- P resident o f the H ad es Immig ration Company. Sulphurus- Chief Clerk o f Info rmation Department. Scene-General Offices o f Hades Immig ration Company. Tim e- A . D. 19 1 I, M orning . ( E nt('r Satan ; hangs sheetiron hat on rack, takes off asbestos coat, seats him self at desk and takes up phone.) �S ul ph ~T ru s-Ye s . but he has already made a reco rd . ( Read s.) N::>. 23. 2 \ . :\I., Ar r.t strong . D emonstrator o f co rrect E ng li sh : skip s cla :se. every Thur clay; Edd ie's sid e-pa rtn er : dead -g am e sport ; 1 rohibitio ni st. Sata n-Good! T ha t' s what we want . J-le'll be hea d ba rtender in th e Had es Cafe. Any me re? S ul p llltrus-Y ea. verily. ire; .everal. T he next is one creat ure call ed D ucky ( r<"a'd s) . ?\o. TRz . D emonstrato r o f th e fourth dim ension : head like a tack: vo ice li ke a ru sty g ate : bachelor . Sata n- A 1 achelor is what we want . H e'll make a goo d chi ef o f the J-Iad es 1\.Jatrim onic. l Ao·ency. Put him clo wn for that. \IV ho '. next ? S ul ph unt:::--One Ed ison. 0 . I...::i ng· ( read s) . No. 46. :\le w member : mak<"s hi s s t u d e n t ~ work: ga ve dra win g cl a:::s a set-out ; kn ows mo re eng ineerin g th a n the man wh o wrote the book. Sata n-- N0 matt er about hi reco rd: never turn away a n eng in eer . Put him clown as foreman o f t he Sco rchem F urn ace \1\lorks. S ul plwrus -T he nex t o ne is Ram eses , Y our :\Jaj esty ( read s) . ?\o . 1066. ''Ra mcses." K no \\·s all the hi story that ever happened: member of the T ea Ure wer s A:::sociati on : ha s .-\ poll o o utclassed: a lways smokin g cig arettes. Sata n-- 1-i <>a vy smoker , eh ? \t\' e ca n use him . \Ne 'll just attach him to a ;sulphur p:1•e a Eel let him be O ffi cial T umi g ato r . S ul phu r u>-:-Th e nex t. S ire. is E dd ie ( reads). T\o. 71 0 . ' 'Eddi e. " H eavy spo rt: soc iety man : best pro f. in schoo l : can't lose hi m: stage-doo r J ohnni e. Sa tan- :\ o w. th a t g ives me real pleasure. Ju t my style-\\' hat wo uld the worl d do without us ? \ 1\fe'll make him stag e manage r o f the Hades Californi a Girls Compan v ~\/e xt! S ulph nru s-T he nex t. 0 . l<in g . is one whose nam e J menti on with respect a nd a ccrtr1in c!eg ree o f hes itati on. Satan - \\ .hy so' S ul phnrw:. T hi s is his record ( read s) . No . 1o. .-\mos . :.\Iath. fi end: tailor 's mode l : ma n of pri nciple : hypothetica l lawye r: tra nsmag nifi ca nda mbam nality : sta nd s for pure athl eti cs : add res;:-es Y . i\J. C. . : too good to live long . Sa tan -Go d L ord, don't let him get in here ! ll e'll co r r upt the place. T\o place fo r him but hea ven. Give us the nex t, qui ck! S ul ph•trtt!'.- T hc nex t. Sire. is t he la st, but- but I 1\·i:l read ( read s) . ?\o . 13 , "Reddy. " Uug fi end: a ngelic di spos itio n : ( a l) most noble kin g o f tea stppers : brill iant red ha ir whi ch outshin es the sun. Sata n-Good L ord , t he more t hey come t he worse th ey get. :\To w wha t el L) yo u sup pose 11·e ca n do with a nyone lik e that ? Jl e co ul dn' t o·e t in to heaven. and 1'11 swea r 1 1 ·o n't let him in here. \ \' ha t shall w- do? 1 e S uipl m ru ~-I am compl etely at a loss, 0 . .Red hot ;\ I narch. Sata n ( sudd enly ) - I have it. T hat red top offer . a so lu ti on. \ Ve'll sti ck him up o ut ~~ icl e to lig ht the way for the rest . S ulp hL:ru : : - T ha t fini shes t he St. J ohn 's li st, Y our :.\fa jesty. T he nex t isSata n---O h. r ing o ff. O ne bun ch like that a day is enoug h for a nyo ne. ( S ul phuru s closes books : ex it a ll. ) 172 · 1912 Motto " Dutch" BrOadrup " Jay" WilliaMs "Mike" HuNdley "Windy" Winslow ''Butterball'' Alger " Skinny" HoPkins " Maggie" HaRris "Shorty" HOpkins "Ducky" Brashears ''Mike" MichAelson "Gretchen" LenTz "Fred" MillEr "Duck" BrashEars " Reddy" JOnes ''Doc" PayNe Raymond StAley " Matty" MaTthews "Mark" ZiEgler "Holland" RiggiN ·'Miss Ira" RydEr "Major" CaTlin "Herman" GailEy 173 �. . . Some Songs ... Has anybody h e re seen Amos? A. M . 0 . S. I'm looking for a man named Amos, And I wi ll te ll you the reason why. He knows his M ath. a nd a few thin gs m o He's a real, real fuss er from the E aste rn Sho', H as a nybody h e re seen Amos? Amos, the love-sick -guy. G et to yo ur rooms, Pre p s, there 's Whisker's ca ll H e 'II soak you a ll , Tho ' yo u are sma ll; So grease him up for exams, boys, Get down and craw l, Back to yo ur d ear o ld Study H all. -' -' <( l: Does a nybody h e re take English, E. Ng. L. I. S. H . H ave you seen the pro f in Eng li sh, I thou g ht perhaps yo u had H e looks like a preac her in hi s d a rk black clothes. G ee- it's a mazin g what that man knows D oes anybody here take En glish Eng lish from a Uickinson grad. What's the matter with Stryker H e's all ri g ht, What 's the matter w ith Stry ker H e's a ll ri g ht; H e smokes hi s dopes and he drinks h is tea Just as happy as h e can be, What's the matter with Stry ker H e 's a ll right. What a f rie nd we have in Tommy, All our sins and grie fs to bear; H e will always le nd us money Tho' ti s but to cut ou r h a ir. Oh - what pain t h e preps do g ive hi m, Wh en th ey d o no t lik e their fare, just b ecau se they a lways ca rry , To him every little ca re. R e ddy, R eddy, Red dy, G ee - but he is steady. Always ready to h e lp you throu g h Tho u g h h e always Aunks a few . But there is no use in fu ssi n g With his Hug I or 2, 1 hi s Hopkin 's grad from Etin 's Is le Will sure fix you. 174 -' -' "' ~ 0 0 u l: l: 0 a: .. �Killing Time Ed itor have an hour of idle time , Rat-T :=~ t : Literary asp irants . hould relig iously esche w polysy llabic orth ograp hy. Th e philosophical 2nd phil ological sub stractive o f thi s prin ciple is in elu cta ble. Excessively atten nated ve rbal symbols in ev itably in duce unn ecessa ry compl ex ity, a nd co ti . equently exaggerate the obfuscati on o f th e mentality of th e peru ser. Conver sely, expre~s i o n s whi ch a re red uced to th e furth ermost minimum o f implifi cat ion a nd con: pactness, besides contt·i buti ng rea li sti c ve ri similitude, con titute a much less onero us handicap to th e reade r' s pe t-~p i cac it y. think I'll write some verse; Unless I kill the time that way may do something worse. I have no subject for my theme, For that I do not care; [ only wish to use up tim e , O bse! ve . fo r in stan ce. th e un;11i takab le and in escapab le ex pressiveness o f onomatopoetic, interj ectional, monosyll ab li c utte ra nces, especially when motivated under st renuo li s emoti onal ci rcum stan ces. How much more appealing is their euphonio us pul chritude than th e prepo .. terous and pretenti ous pomposity of elongated ver biage. Yours. Al\T OLTE R DYRDE . I'll do it; too, I swear. It will not be a masterpiece, You 'll see when I am through; I'm merely writing it, because I've nothing else to do. I'll give it to the Rat-Tat board To print it if they choose; They'll publish it, perhaps, if they An amblin g horse, Have nothing else to use. A shaded co ur e, A g irl a nd cha p; Do not if you should read it A chan ce to spoon, Condemn this hasty rhyme, B ut he, the loon. · But read as it was written, for Ju st said. "G iddap." 176 The sake of killing time. 177 �The J un1or Alphabet The ]une Ball 1910 T he J un e Ball. the g rea test o f social eve nts held at St. J ohn 's, took place last yea r on the 14th of J un e while t he batta li on was suppo sed to be campi ng on t he r ear camp us, bu t was, as a matter o f fact, living in th e dorm itori es because of the incl ement 1 \'eather. T he rai n, however, had no effect on t he ball. whi ch wa s probably t he most dazzling fun ction eve r held in th e new gymna . ium. T he track and the ceiling o f t he gymnasium were pro fu sely decorated with Ameri can Rags a nd bun ting, among which ma ny colored elect ric lig hts sparkled. At t he lower end of t he hall was a large electr ical display with th e legend , " Farewell , ' r r to ' ro," wh ich com:tantly rem inded the dancers o f t he se riousne . of the occas ion to t he !.traduating class. T he fl oor was somew hat overcrowded. but t hi s did not det ract from t he gayety o f t he dancers. T hey enjoyed themselves to their hear t' s content. T he ca rds were very pretty, and were made o f leather o f a light browni sh tin t, ornamented by se veral pictures and th e pin o f 19 1 I. It wo uld be a difficult task fo r a nyo ne except a ladies ' ta ilo r to describe the exq ui site beauty of the gow ns. T he co ll ege cadets. in their f ull-d ress regali a and white ducks, prese nted a .most st riking appea rance, a nd added m uch to t he effect of the scene. T he mu sic was deli o-htfu l, being rend ered by an o rche.'tra consistin g of tw elve pieces. T he oall began with a pro menade, which extended a round the entire gymna. iu m and lasted f r several min utes. J ust at t he concl usion o f this prom enade th e retiring l\Jajor, H . C. Ru hl , presented h i. swo rd to L. C. 1\a iley. the maj or fo r t his year, c> mid a tremendous ovation. Dancing t hen began in ea rn est and la;:ted un til mid ni g ht , when t he affa ir wa . broug ht to a close. l\Iany words o f prai ;:e were uttered by t ho' e attendi ng t he da nce, who declared the Jun e Ball of 19 10 one o f the fi nest ever g iven at St. J o hn 's. A B IS for Alger, whoes speech is umque, Mixture of French, E speranto and Greek. FOR Brashears, of dimensions petit, Who started some verse which he could'nt complete . c IS for Catlin, a swell-headed boy ; To join the "400" would give him great Joy. D E IS for "Dutch" , who's been here a good while, Can always be told by his Quaker Oats smile. FOR Elizabeth- thinks she can singA FOR Fred Matthews, the sport of the land. F Charles County boy of the safety pm band. A IS for Gailey, a track man of fame, G H I Goes often to church, but lS bad all the same. IS for Hopkins, his nickname's "R. S.," A COUSin of "Shorty's" he hates to confess. STANDS for Ira, whose logic is great, Knows all about spe!lking, expert at debate. J IS for }ones, w ho lives here in Crabtown, L M 118 fusser by nature; the dear little thing. His wisdom in physics has won much renown. IS for Lentz, who's so lovely and fair, At least he would be w ere it not for his hair. IS for Michaelson, studious one; A chemist, and also a true "midnight son. 179 �N IS for the Noise, for -which Miller's reno-wned: You can't hear the bugle -when he IS around. 0 STANDS for Order, -with Hopkins In charge, And tho' he IS small his young VOICe IS quite large. p IS for Riggin, a good natured man, The army he'll enter, if only he can. R s My eyes were dimmed with heavy sleep, IS for Staley, -who never does swear, Instead says dog-gone-it and other hot atr. u v Of lessons weary quite: I studied for a Math. exam In hop es to get it right. IS for Uproar, that "Maggie" can ratse, When someone just touches him under the stays. I'd studied for three solid hours, And now two more did need, Ere IS for Vacant, with -which -we defined, The state and condition of Mike Hundley's mind. w z Machine The IS for Payne, of much hot air the source, Fell out with his wife and he got a divorce. I cou ld hope to know it well, For it was hard ind eed . FOR Williams, the industrious lad, My head sank down upon my arm, Talks a blue streak for the sake of an ad. My eyes in slee p did close; IS for Ziegler, so lengthy and lank. The fire-escape fiend, and a good natured crank. dreamt a dream of wonder rare While in that short repose. dreamt that I, inventor g reat A s e'er the world h ad seen, invented what we all desired A study ing machine. You merely put a book inside And place it near your bed; On waking, all that it contained Was fast s unk in yo ur head. Exams no more cou ld worry me As they had done before; did not need with my machine T o study any more. 181 180 • �I tried my Mathematics first, To find what it would do; The profs grew faint, it was a shame To see the Math I knew. I next tried Spanish, German, French, And soon so Ruent grew Instructors said, "To study more Reminiscences of the Fourth Floor Is waste of time for you." I passed my work with perfect ease, I did not have to strive My marks in everything I took Were never less than five; I ceased to study any more I went out every night, And life was every day to me A vision of d e light. Life had become a blissful dream, It was too good to stay, And with returning wakefulness That vision Red away. I rubbed my eyes-my Math still there, And sad ly then I knew My joyful thoughts were but a dream, That they could ne'er come true. Sometimes I lean back from my work, My mind takes fancy Right: I live again that happy dream And naught is but delight. Then with a start I sadly smile, And strange to me it seems, Why do they not sometimes come true, Those foolish; happy dreams? 182 In the fall o f 1909 a motley crowd of specimens of the human race took up their abode on the fo urth floor of P inkn ey Hall , St . J ohn 's College, A nnapolis. Th ey were all Marylanders-that is, they claimed to be resident o f some place within th e bo rders of the state. From the deserts of th e Eastern S ho' hailed our futur- leaders; from the wi ld s o f th e we tern part of the state there were a few e poor examples of mountaineers: from th e big city a few cunning urchin s strayed in , and the r est of the number was composed o f, the devil only knows what. It is important at the o utset to realize that th ese different elements exi ted and to keep them in mind thru the course of the future development. The one point that tended to unite the separate units o f thi s cong lomeration was that each indi vid ual professed to have come here in the ardent pursuit of know ledge. Thi s fact is of special sig nificance, as it furni shed a bond which held the variou s members tog·ether, so that later a union wa s more read ily accompli shed. The fir st impressions gained of these yo uth s wa s that they were a studiou s, hard wo rking and qui et bunch. The guardian , the illu strious R. K . Adams, set them a bc:llltifu l exampl e in this direction and offset to a ·ce rtain degree the influence which the social activities of Pat Dougherty at the other end o f the hall threatened to exert. Perhaps the earli est conspicuou fi g ure on th e fl oor was littl e Daduy Haye , who slept all day in order that he might keep a wake after taps. He was not an earnest in stigator of di so rder but delighted in having nocturnal confabs with R. K. about keepin g an open door policy. · He seemed to be a harml ess creature, yet to him is due th e credit o f being at least a faint suggestio n of a fourth floor society for the promotion of mi schief. For a time the g reat element tending to disunion , namely, hazing, threatened to prevent amalgamation. The close ties existing between all Eastern Shore men soon smoothed thi s diffi culty over, and the harmoni ous strain s issuing from room 36. wh ere the Eastern and We stern S hore, in the persons of Dryden and MeN utt, respectively, seemed to live in perfect peace, soon caused friend ship to spring up between all factions. M usic, with its soothing and calming effect, thus paved the way for union. The fir st steps were taken by Riggin, \Voodcock, Williams and Catlin . They form ed a so rt of eating-after-taps club, which soon g rew in member s and popularity. One Sunday afternoon a permanent fourth-floor society was created. Each charter member o f the union-in 183 �j act. th ey we re a ll charter members- kn eeling befo re the self-appointed P resid ent Rigg in , had to swear all egiance to him . l-Ie wa s then chri , tcned with a pitch er of water and receiv ed a na me. such as Chi ef- H ell-Rai ser. sig ni fy in g hi s future dut ies. S uch :1 so lid o rgan ization . whose a im wa s to cr ea te d iso rd er . wa s no t long in at:t ractmg o th er promin ent resident s o f the fl oo r . Fats r-.Iason. leepy r\nd r ew. 1\ haki Gering and oth ers soo n jo in eJ it a nd helped in its no bl e wo rk. L ittl e enco uragement was g iven the . ociety until r-.Ii ss Ira moved to th e A r. T hen th<" memb er s had something to li ve fo r. Hut poo r Mi ss Ira. ho w oo she had to sufler! r-:o t a da y pa ssed wh ich wa s not a day o f fearf ul ago ny fo r her. \) ne clay ' he had to . wim o ut o f her room : th e nex t she had to craw l o ut , and on th e third she had to Ay o ut o f a heap o f feathers. On e nig ht she was a wa kened to 'ee th e co met: t he next to fi g ht ro bbers. S he kept at th e . a m e time a boo k. f ruit an d 'o ft drink stand and a shaving parl or . H er room wa s imm ed iately ado pted by th e ,:ociety and used as common property . Two o f th e most lud iu o us happ enin gs whi ch ' he exp eri enced a re wo rth y o f mention . Late one nig ht abo ut J 1-45 o'clock a sudden mysterio us long ing se ized Mi ss Ira to pl ay bail. S he had a bat in her apa rtm ents but could find no ball. T he o nl y thing she co ul d see in a ny way rese mblin g a sph ere was Fats Mason's head. S he at o nce made a he fty swing fo r it . Mason had a sha rp in shoot a nd mad e < 1 sudden br eak fo r hi s doo r . O f com se, Mi ss Ira stru ck o ut a nd had to r etire \\·itho ut gett ing a noth er bat. Th e oth er ra th er pro min ent in cid ent among so man y a m w in g· o nes occ urred early one . pring mo rning. M iss Ira was qui etl y sittin g in her rcom peru •ing- th e da il y pap er when suddenl y th er e wa s a terrifi c kn ock on her doo r. r\ s she loo ked aro und o ut went a doo r pan el. T he yo ung lady . as sr:lf-com po,ecl and d ig nifi ed as a du chess . sim ply put her prettty little head throug h th e openin g and ca lmly asked, ··w ho's ther e ?" W hen she sa\\. no o ne the ex j11"ess ion on her face was pitiful. Fo r such slig ht offence: as th ese ".\J i s ~ Ira o ften ha d the whole A r coaked . I \ut. o f co urse . no o ne ever kn ew oo an ythin g a ho u: it. sent his worst littl e boy s to P inkney. The fourth fl oo r wa s to be their ho use o f r e fuge and correction. A nd such it has been ( not ) . Whenever a former fo urth fl oor member r eturn s to th e scenes o f hi s early college pleasure he weeps bitter tears at the changes tim e has wrought. No longer an o rderl y nli chie fma king machin e but a troop o f devili sh littl e ra scals inhabit the floor~no peaceful, happy, united family but a mixture o f everything under th e sun from V . l'v1. I. to W olkow sky . S uch is li fe! Time still does hi s a wful work. There is thi s to comfort yo u, however, dear brother-next year will soon be her e, and with it may co me a r eturn to former bli ss on th e dea·r old f ourth fl oo r. Those g ood tim es co uld not continue fo r ever. S oo n th e ho no rabl e Bartg is :\IcG lo ne too k a n emphati c a nti pat hy to a ll t he p roceed in gs o n the fo urth Aoo r. T hen hi s deputy, R. 1( .. tri ed to put th e scre ws o n th e o rg a ni zation, but with littl e succc""·S. .-\ s a last reso rt he hit upon t he plan o f sev erin g the clan by ex ili ng one u f ib ;1 ~ e ndJ e r s. Th e unlucky wretch turn ed o ut was ".\Ja!'on . The fl oo r as a unit p rutesteci in vai n aga in st such cruel actio n. lt wa s fate's decr ee. ".\J ason had to leave. Hi s two wo rth y successo rs tri ed th eir best to fill hi s shoes. but they wer e un a!Jle to ri ~e to th e g reat occasio ns. It is repo rted that th e Aoo r at o nce sett: ed ci O I'." ll to peace ful work. F o r the a uth enti city of thi s repo rt I cla re not vo uch. Dut. k:ncl reader . yo u mu st not get a fa lse impress io n of th e nobl e fo urth fl oo r soci<.ty . :\li its mi schi e f was humane a nd o rd erl y. \1\f hen the new st udents a rri ved in Septem ber a pro mi sin g lot were ass ig ned to the upp er fl oo r. a nd it app eared rhat t he . ociety o f last year was go ing to be c ntinuecl. l'eri sh th e tho ug ht ! C r andfather Gladd en co uldn't hand le a ll hi s children . l~[ e th ere fo re 184 185 �Sunday A Duty A Ballad of a Noble Lady balmy Sund ay afternoon, When spring fills all the air, The birds are singing a ll in tune, There was a young lady- Miss Ira - The day is bri g ht and Whom we all must surely admire fair. Youn g coup les saunter s lowly by , For her great strength, Along the shady s treet, T o live at length, Light clouds Aoat softly in the sky; On a Aoor with surroundings dire. The air is warm and sweet. At first her abode, A lone cade~ m sash and sword , Was on the Aoor, I'm told. L ooks at this longing ly, Of the renowned sipper of tea. With discontent his one reward, But it came to pass, For he is on 0 . D . That the winsome lass, Upon the campus he must s tay Sou g ht nearer the heavens to be. Dissatisfied and sad; On duty he for a ll the day , All e lse is free The doctors advised a nd g lad. It wou ld be w 1se That she live entirely a lone. H e sees the c ouples strolling past So bu sy she got, T award the river side, Moved all her rot He sees the white boats. runnin g fast , To a On sunlit waters glide. little fourth Aoor home. The laughing children, too, he sees At play upon the green, She was welcomed with JOY, And carefree birds sing m And her looks so coy A the trees, Soon en ticed every man on the Aoor, tantalizin g scene. To seek to wm, R esentfu l sorrow fills his breast, H er hand so thin, Or behold her from the door. He sad ly tu rns away; Th e picture brin gs naught but unrest, A But sad to say. prisoner he to-day . To him th e day no joy ca n bring Nor pleasure can recall, For Sunday duty in th e Spring Is hardest fate of all. Men filled with dismay, When they found Ira's heart was of s tone . Yet they loved her still, And do what you wi ll , They wou ld 'nt leave her a lone . 186 187 �She coaxed and begged, A..,d kicked her leg, To keep her suitors away. But why should she So bashful be, Is more than we can say. The suitors persistedMiss Ira resistedAnd trouble filled the air. The rest of the days The sun's bright rays Shone on the lady up there. We cannot tell What earthly hell The noble lady endured, just take our word That we have heard, That now she's been secured. .. Miss Ira no longer, U) Take care! you wrong her :>: If such a title you use. Lady Tizzle now, Before her we bow, And never think to abuse. The man who has won, This wonderful one, Has trained her well indeed . She lives at peace, Can now Increase Her knowledge with much speed. 188 ::> <( 0 " .J " .J (!) 0 0 �The Lay of Ancient Rome Holy Order of O-wls Oh! th e R oman was a rogue, He, erat was, yo u bettum; He ran his automobilis, And smoked his c igar e ttum H e wore a diamo nd S I·:N IO il H .\LL 1\EST.- S lRI C rc S R OO M S. t' An e legant c ravatum, A Fath er Ow l.- ( 1-1 )ow le r iri ch. st udi b u s, Maximacum la ud e sh irt And such a s ty li sh h a ttum . l\loth cr Ow l- ." \rm o;trong . Booby O wls-1-luncl ley. Pa rsley . Screech Ow ls- J ohn on, 1 L.. Stanl ey . -1. N ig ht Owi s-vV hole dam n broo d. O n ~ O wl et-D ra shea t·s. H e love d th e lusciou s hie, haec, ho c, And bet on games and e qui A t tim e s he won, at o t he rs th o u g h, He P I N K N EY I I ALL-BROADlWl'' s RooM. go t it m H e w inked the nequi . (Quo u sque tandem) At pu e llas m the F or um , Fat he1 O wl-D roadrup. · l\fothcr O wl-Lent z. And even sometimes made Tho se goo - goo ocu lorum . Dooby 0 1 vls-II utchin m n. T odd. Scrcec!J Ow i- :d ill er. \ Vise Ow ls-i\J ichaelso n, vVin slow. He fre q u e ntly was seen K ig ht Owls.-W hole damn brood. At com bats gladiatorial, And ate e nou gh to fe e d T e n boarde rs a t M e morial; H e o fte n went on sprees, And said on starting h o mus, H ie labor- o pus est, O h , where's m y hic -hic - domus? 190 191 �A Prayer of Thanks The Rat-Tat we began to write, The work to us was new, But very optimistic, we With it wou ld soon be through. But more we labored on our task The harder sti ll it grew, We toiled away with this one thought, "0 may we soon be through." Yet little progress did we make, It made u s feel quite blue, Misgivings came; we asked ourse lves, "Will n ever we be thro u gh?" ,, But now th., book is all comp lete, 'AU ""REVO I"R. And no more work to do. We breathe a sigh of heartfelt joy, T hank God that we are through. 192 193 �HOPPER~ MeGA"W & 3Jmpnrtrrs aub <irnrrrs FANCY GROCERIES, 11A V ANA, KEY WEST and DOMESTIC CIGARS, WINES, LIQUORS, ETC. CO. 344 and 346 North Charles Street, BALTIMORE. MD. Everything the Best. Our Agent makes weekly calls in Annapolis and vicinity. Goods delivered to your door FREE. Sept. 2 !- College opens. Fisher on the job. 22- Mellon hazes an alumnus. 23- Prof. Armstrong appears. 24- Morris and H a rris enter contest to capture bean eatin g prize . 25 - Freshman appoints Lentz water-sergeant. 26 - Classes begin. G e neral sorrow. 2 7- Todd arrives thinking of foot-ball fame. 28-Todd ap pears on the foot-ball field. Oct. Hopkins, S. D. rages. 1- St. John ' s 0 . Navy 16. D- -. Sleeps in his b a thing suit. 4 - Hopkins, S. D ., defines " deceleration" as going up. 5- Morris and Harris split even in bean eating contest. LUCAS BROTHERS In corporated S"rATIONE~RS AND PRINTERS OFFICE FURNI'l'URE 221 and 223 EAST BALTIMORE STREET EX C J.1 "8 1V Jo: G I.O il E - "' EU:N' I C KE EO I SO:".. S GOOD ~ ~11:\IE OCa( A PII!"'' .. T~ I l l l l . t l I : Maryland Electric Railway company ANNAPOLIS SHORT LINE t l i l l 1 1 l l t t i . l I i . l l l + '• ; Trains leave Baltimore, Camden Station, and Annapolis, Bladen Street Station, every half hour on the hour, and thirty minutes + after the hour between the hours of 6 a. m. and 6 p. m., then at 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00 and 11.35 p. m. • f 2-Freshmen begin to " Honk". 3- Reid fe ars a ducking. l . ! ( 29 - Todd decides not to play the rou g h game. 30 - Appointments made. .. +·~-·~··~··~··~··~··~··~··~· ·~··~··~·~··~·~··~ ~··~··~·+ , \ (..:1':~'1'8 .J O :SE~ L OOSE 1!\IPH: O YEJ) LEAF~ PE C I A l/l' l f::S l l l l l l l i . ~ I l Between 6 a. m. and 6 p. m. the running time between Baltimore and Annapolis will be 45 minutes ; after 6 p. m. it will be 50 minutes. Saving of 30 minutes m a round trip over any other line • 1 ' l l l l l l l l l l 1 l +·~·~·~·~·~··~··~·~··~·+·~··~~··~·~··~·~~~~+ �H . F . MESERVE FRIEDRICH LENTZ ]. WM. MIDDENDORF R . J, ANCASTER WILLIAMS Jo:STAIJLIHIII 0 0 : Cb~ £arlin ~ 'lt!!·-•0 fUlton eo. 1Jnqn 1!\.f4npwnnb DINING ROOl\IIS 30U "\\' . G ERMA:S STREET BALTIM O RE , ~.rD. 216 E. BALTIMORE S 'l'. Bt:ILDI:SG A:-;D II I::' I' "' EI': :"' GE :SERAL ==== I-IARD'VARE 30H ,V. O I ' P OS I ' I'E HJ S 'J'IlJDU T O il S 0 1" A :-;n ==== CA~1 DEN U. 1!oi. 0 . S ' l' S, C .\.:\IU I!:N U'1IDDENDORF, WILLIAMS ® CO. S'.l'. STAT I ON BAJ.'J.'IMORE, l\10. THE REA CH SPORTIN G G OODS Oct. C AI . YEUT A:"' l) :'I."OU' I' U 6- Hopkins, S. D. rates Sergeant-Major. 7-Alger speaks Esperanto in Physics. 8-St. John's 0. Gettysburg 2. Heat turned on. Broadrup still at his old stand. 9 - "Dutch" Ruhl tells how Gettysburg won. I 0 - Todd discovers that he is a cousin of Wilbur Wright. 11-Todd talks aeroplane. 12- Todd draws plans for Cousin Wilbur. 13- Todd leaves for Dayton, Ohio. 14- T earn leaves for Virginia. 15-St. John 's 0. Virginia 29. Scrubs 0. B. P. I. 22. 16- Drake proves himself a hero. 17-Drake receives a medal for bravery. 18 - Alexander reported for no socks at supper. 19 - Matthews shaves in an hour and a half. 20-''T- -y" Hopkins reads the Ladies' Home journal. Banktrs and Brok~rs Members Balt!more and New York Stock Exchanges BALTIMORE, U\1D. t:bt Emtrson Sbot $ .so. $ 3 4•00• $s.oo Exclusive Styles for Young Men 109 N. Charles St., Baltitnore, Md. 907 Pennsylvania Ave. MONOGRAM I.UNCH J ·• ·• ANP "\\' E S T DINING B A L '1' I ~1 0 R E BALTIMORE, MD. l~OOM S '1' R E E '1' 14th St.®. NewYork Ave. WASHINGTON. D. C. �HARVEY'S FOR FIRST-CLASS GO TO LUNCH BUFFHAM & CO. ·-· ·-· & BUFFHAM ROOM WE ALSO MAKE YOUR PHOTO ON A POST CARD. 300 EAST BALTIMORE STREET BALTIMORE, MD. ·-· .... OPEN ALL NIGHT.... Oct. PHOTOGRAPHS 50 MARYLAND AVE. CO. n~w ~ork elotbing fiOUSt ANNAPOLIS. 21 - Turk issues engraved invita'ions to Lab . 22 - St. John's 0. George Washington University 0 . " Madam Rob erts" makes a trip. 23- G. 0 . H. Meeting. 102 Goldb erger challenges Campbell. 24- Athletic As~ociation Meeting. Great enthusiasm. 25 - " Redd y" moves Preps. to fourth floor. Society. a.nd 104 E. Balt~more St. BALTIMORE, MARYLAND. Farewell Fourth Floor 26 - Ri ggin besmirches "Skinny" Davis' memory. 2 7- Parsley joins Allen-Hutson-Terry-Ciub. 28- AII aboard for V. M . I. 29- St. John's 0 . V. M. I. 22. 30 - Great sorrow in Crabtown . 31 - Mass Meeting. Nov. 1- Picture taken. We are fighting Stonewall Jackson. Turk shows team how to play foot-ball. "Tn tb~ H~art of Baltimcrf' Cadet corps out for foot-ball. 2 - Rumor of another picture. Corps still out for foot-ball. 3-Biack-listed foot-ball men get h - . 4 - Bowlus makes breakfast formation. F. W. McAllister & Co. I Flags 113 N. CHARLES STREET, Banners BALTIMORE . ._. OPTOMETRISTS, OPTICI ANS KODAKS Badges SISCO BROS. 304 North Howard St. BALTIMORE, MD. LEADERS OF FASHIONS �Jl ~"... C/)U(t·@ '17 1"\ Lexingt~n 1;-Park.llve. g Balttmore, Md. ;I• ""'• Mf I '-''-'• EVERYTHING THAT'S NEW AND UP-TO- DATE FOR UNIVERSITY OF ~ARYLAND SCHOOL OF LA"V BER:SARn CARTER, ESQ., l PRESENTS OF ALL KINDS. I Solid Silverware, Rich Cut Glass, Fine Jewelry, Fine Leather Goods, Haviland China, Table Cutlery, Toys, Games, Dolls, 4'-c. Sporting Goods, Housekeeping Goods. l(itchen Utensils. Lamps, 4'-c. PROVOST THE BOARD OF INSTRUCTION ARRANGED I N ORDER OF El.ECTION JUDGE HENRY D. HARLAN, Cons titutional Law and Domestic Relation s. JOSEPH C. FRANCE, Esq. Corporations, Pleading, Practice and Legal Ethics. JUDGE JOHN C. ROSE, Juri s diction and Procedure of the Federal Courts, Admiralty, Bankruptcy , Patents, Trade- Marks , Copyright s and Unfair Competition. 1 JUDG E HENRY STOCKBRIDGE , International Law, Public and Private ; Conflict of law s, Executors and Admini strators. Nov. EDGAR A. POE, Esq. Bills and Note s, Sales, Suretyship, Personal Property and Ballment s . 5 -St. John's 0. Dickinson 12. 6-"Turk" and "Goosy" go to Baltimore. 7-''T ommy" rearranges seats in Chapel. W . CALVIN CHESTNUT, CriminaJ Law and Insurance. 8 - Morris holds election prohibitionist Congressmen. 9 -"Shorty'' Hopkins makes debut with his corn-cutter. Some speed. 10- Hopkins game looms near. 11-Academic Day. St. John's day at Gayety. 12-Hopkins wins. "Nuf Ced." 13-Spent in silent meditation. 14-Miller returns looking thoughtful. 15- -" Buzz" 0. D. After Sophs till 3 A. M. 16- "Buzz" sleeps during band practice. 17- Arms! ron g stings English III. 18- Scalping knives ready for M. A. C. 19-St. John's 6. M. A. C. 0. Clean record broken. breaks out. J. Newton Gilbert, ~ St. te Circle and East Street a WILLIAM L. MARBURY, E•q. The Law of Tort s. CHARLES J . BONAPARTE . Esq. The law of Contracts . THE FORTY- FIRST ANNUAL SESSION WILL BEGIN IN SEPTEMBER 1911. Winslow BALTIMORE. MD. c FAMOUS CUISINE ) EUROPEAN- PLAN . DRY GOODS. NOTIONS, FURNISHING ALBERT C. RITCHIE, Esq. Commercial Law, Shipping and Elementary law. . .. HOTEL RENNERT ... Louis H. Rehn, HOSIERY, E Ll FRANK, Es q . Title to Real Property, Conveyancing and Director of the Moot Co urt. For Catalogues containing full information, address HENRY D. HARLAN, Secretary 1063 CAL VERT BlJILDING, BALTIMORE, MD. DEALER IN PHARMACIST JUDGE JAMES P. GORTER , Juridical Equity, Evidence and Damages . HERBERT T . TIFFANY,' Esq. The Law of Real Property. GOODS, &c. CENTRALLY LOCATED ENTIRELY FIRE!.PROOF $1.00 A DAY AND .UPWARD EDWARD DAVIS, Manager Cor. Main and Francis Sts. �C. & P. Phone , St. Paul 3389-M BROOKS & BARTON Henneman &O'Oorman DISTRIBUTORS OF Boots and Shoes BOOKBINDERS Rubber Goods, Etc. 218 W. Fayette Street, Nov. Baltimore, Md. C. & P . TELEPHONE 44- m 20-Rat-Tat Meeting for a change. 21-Fisher cusses out 0. G. 122 Main St. "Shorty Hop" reports Winslow. ''Neow Winslow." 22- "Financier" White sells W. B. & A tickets. 23- Thanksgiving holiday begins. 24-St. John's 42 . P . M. C. 0. "Buzz" makes a touchdown. 25-Everybody sleeps. 26- Blue Mouse in town. Broadrup and Payne charmed. 2 7- "T-y Hop" begins fussing . 28- Pinkeye appears. "Tommy" discourses on diseases. 29-"Turk" talks foot-ball in Physics. ~~-~~~~~~~~~$~~·~~~~~~~, l l l l l l lSt. John"s College... l I l l I THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND I An "nbwkon hOtory ol ove< 2 00 l ~ ~ l I DEPARTMENT OF ARTS AND SCIENCES OF y.am ;, tho p<o"d <~on! ol St. )ohD' ClassicaL Latin, Scientific, Scientific and Engineering Courses MILITARY DEPARTMENT UNDER ARMY OFFICER DoMgn•tod by thoU. S. Govommont ~ ono ol th"ix !..ding milit•ry Dec. 1- Debate in Logic class and dinner both alike- Rotten . 2- Bailey reported for breakfast formation. 3-"Madam" Roberts and her pipe take a walk. 4- White makes supper formation. JOSEPH LOREA WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALER IN FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC TELEPHONE 46- M Pearl Steam Laundry Co. fruitS, nuts, eonf¢CtiOU¢ry A STALLS IN THE CITY MARKET BENJ. T. RUSSELL, Manager. STORE- 26 MARKET SPACE, COR. CORNHILL STREET J5 HOLLAND STREET. • colleges where students have shown great proficiency in military training ~ PREPARATORY SCHOOL FOR BOYS t l Prepares for St. John's and other colleges and for entrance to the Naval Academy. t 30-"Tom my" hears wails and shrieks from Room 10, Pinkney. Foo odolo<uo Large grounds and modern equipment for all college sports oddoo<o I l l I ~ l I l I l ! ~ l l • ~ •ho Pmidoo•. THOS. FELL. Ph. D .• LL. D. 1 I I I Annapolis, Maryland. . l 1 I l ~'~~~~~··~~~~~~-~~~~~~~~·~';(. �' :£ike8, 53errvanger ~ 'Co. Charles Rose l ARTISTIC illlntqtrrs waUnrs 1J1urutsqrrs ~qautug & ~atrrutttug Jarlnr MODERATE PRICES H airc ut 15 cen t s Shave 10 cen t s Your patronage soli cited. ti-10-12 tast $altincore <Jtreet 2;altimt5re, ~~~..-.....~-·~ 192 UVIain Street ~d. ! l FAST ELEC"'.rRIC l 1-IOURLY l "'I~ RAINS BALTil\fORE 1<'ROM '.1'0 A~D ANNAPOLIS (Direct to St. John's College) Dec. I HALF-HOURLY BE'l'WEE~ BAL'l'IMORE 5- Prof. Armstrong attends chapel. Everybody sorry (?) 6-Prof. Armstrong is sick. 8-"Turk" doles out 3.50 in Chemistry II. 9-First formal Hop. "Amos" drops a lady on Prince George St. 10 - "Doc" Payne goes skating. Riggin and Miller hunt "rab~its" on back-campus in the snow. Four Juniors skip church and play cards. "Long John'' eats a dish of mashed potatoes for ice-cream. investigates Rat-Tat meeting. t l Wasbington, Baltimort i Jlnnapolis fiWric RY. £o.l t l 1'•_,.._••_,..._•._.._. IN THE HEART OF 3 CITIES . . _ . . _ . . _••_,._..._.~ Fisher i!fntrl ilarylaub Water-fight on Junior floor. "Buzz" leads Epworth League. 12- F oot·ball team attends theatre. Harris shaves in four seconds. Auuapnl ts. fll'l. 13- "Jack" Rippere presses his trousers for Christmas. 14-"Tommy" says that a student fell on the ground and broke a hole in the ice. w ASIHNG'l'ON t 7-"Long John" and other dignified Seniors go coasting. 11 - Busy day. AND ). N. SMITH & BRO. Proprietors. r 15-" Long John" gives . a musical at supper on drinking glasses. ~nb.rrtt Appniutm.rtd!i i)alt 1111fat.rr i.rliraci.ra QI.ut.atne 1Exrellent. The Tolchester Co. St~am~r Emma 6il~s Edward T. Beavin iElrflrtral (!lnutraflnr Popular Route between 6altimore and Annapolis, Advertiser Building ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND West and Rhode Rivers Electric and Gas Fixtures and Supplies Pier I, Pratt Street Agent Ford Auto Car Company Annapoli s and A . A. Co. ESTIMATES CHEERFULLY FURNISHED ~~·~...-....~~~·~-~~·~~·~~-~~~~ ...........~·~~, l SUITES WITH PRIVATE A NEW AND MODERN l l BATHS HOTEL l l l l CARVEL HALL i l t ~ ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND SPECIAL ATTENTION GIVEN TO PRIVATE DINNER PARTIES. l l ~ ~'~~~~·~~·~~~·~~...-....-~~~··~~~--~~ �I. WM. ]. MILLER C. 61 P. T clephonc 159-M T. Kent Green, Ph. G. RUDOLPH KAISER Fine Jewelry, Diamonds and Watches DEALER IN oo !FllOII"fl§lco oo o Grower of Cut Flowers and Potted Plants 28 EAST BALTIMORE STREET BALTIMORE. MD. FLORAL DESIGNS A SPECIALTY Headquarters for College Seals, Pins and Fobs Also Bronze Seals for Wall Decorations 104 COLLEGE A VENUE Annapoli s, Md . Dec. 16-Eggs for breakfast, fish for dinner, oysters for supper. High life for sure. 17- 0pening of Basketball season. St. John's 34. Galla udet I 0. 18- Williams makes a report at Rat-Tat meeting in German. 19- Reddy purrs on "Bug" I Class. 20-Corporal Hundley of the Band promoted to private in Company "C" 21 22 Jan . 345- Christmas celebration. Second Session in Room 2, Senior Hall. Everybody goes horne. Everybody returns from horne. Todd arrives. Santa Claus has brought "Jach" a new suit. Miller has a sore back, says that his brother hit him with a club · Now "Fred" ! 6- Second formal Hop. 7- St. John's 22. B. C. C. 6. Scrubs 26. Loyola High School 22. 8-A glorious morning-but not for church. 9- Todd gives Uncle "Amos" the "Silence". I 0-Turk "cuts" Physics. Dr. Payne moves to Pinkney Hall. 11 - St. John's 16. Navy 49. Morris bets on the game. 'W. F. Childs & Son PHILIP G. MILLER GROCERS Haberdashery, Tailoring, Shoes. Fresh and Suflar Cured MEATS We cater to the College Trade and we sell the kind of Merchandise that Appeals to College Men . DRUGS, CHEMICALS, ANNAPOLIS. MD . The Spalding Trade-Mark TOILET ARTICLES, are the Largest Manufacturers in the World of OFFICIAL EQUIPMENT FOR ALL ATHELETIC SPORTS AND PASTIMES PERFUMERY. CIGARS, TOBACCO, Etc. ._. Is known throughout the world as a Guarantee of Quality IF You are interested m Athl et i C Sport you should have a copy of the Spalding Catalogue. It's a complete encyclopedi a of WHAT'S NEW IN SPORT and is sent free on request. 170 Church St. Annapolis, Md. A. G. Spalding&. Bros. 208 EAST BALTIMORE STREET MAIL ORDERS PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO. We '11 do -what others -will not do. Suits bought from us are pressed free for one year. A saving of $6.00 per annum .. THE FASHION .. 227 P. George St. Annapolis, Md. SUITS $16.00 AND UP. M~de as you -want them to be made. WIEGARD'S BALTIMORE, MD. If you are in need of Money, Call Phone 236-M OSCAR SHACKS Pawn Broker Clothing, Shoes, Ladies' and Gents' Furnishings. Jewelry, Watches and Diamonds a Specialty 51 WEST STREET. <trnufrrtinurry au!l 3Jrr <trrram ~ ANNAPOLIS, MD. Strange & White FINE HIGH-GRADE Q!lot4iug au(t ~tut.a ~ 1J1uruis4ittga i!;uylrr'n <!Innllien, &r. 204 32-34-36 MARKET SPACE, ... HAY AND FEED ... A. G. SPALDING & BROS. No. 8 STATE CIRCLE. FRANCIS STREET, ANNAPOLIS. MD. �Tonsorial Parlor WM. R. SHIELDS. Proprietor. Hair Cutting, Shaving and Shampooing e POLITE ATTENTION EveningCapitaiANo Maryland Gazette Est abljshcd 26 Yea rs The O nly D aily of Annapolis R. E. STRANGE & SONS E•tab li•hed 1727 INTERIOR and EXTERIOR The Weekly i.n th e State Guaranteed Circulation 3,000 A Sure Return for Advertisers ..mrrnrntnrs.. An Up·to·Date Job Plant WM . M. A BBOTT P roprietor a nd P ub~s her 78 MARYLAND AVENUE. R . TUNIS STRAN GE JAMES F. STRANGE DEALERS IN WALL PAPERS. PAINTS, OILS AND GLASS. CAPITAL BUILDING , 166 &. 168 CONDUIT STREET 157 MAIN STREET ROBERT L. CHANCE Jan. 1213141516- Fisher appears at drill for first time St. John's 13. U. of Pa. 36. St. John's 37. Loyola II. Morris finishes dinner before any other person!!!! " Long John" and Broadrup excused from Math . by their old pal "Amos." I 7- Hoke submits request for leave on Sept. I 2. 18- "Ramesses" and "Amos" play basketball. 19- Chemistry II class evaporates. 20--Fisher cusses out the <l>K Society. 21 - St. John's 20. W. and L. 46. Moss' fire sale well attended . 22- Snow. No church. 23- Grape fruit for breakfast. Payne wants to know where they grow such large oranges. 24- Exams . begin. Some happy, others otherwise- mostly otherwise. 25 - Sirich leads senior roughhouse. 26--Business Managers sweep Annapolis. 27- <I>M Society meets in new rooms. DEALER IN Watches, Jewelry and Silverwear, COLLEGE SEALS AND PINS 136 Church St. Annapolis, Md. A. F. SCHUELE REPR ESENTIN G ntw ~Ork £10tbing fiOUS¢ MAKERS OF HIGH CLASS UNIFORMS AND CIVILIAN DRESS BALTIMORE. MD. W. C. MOSS & CO. ICE CREAM CONFECTIONERY AND SODA. Quick and Clean Service. Meals Cooked to Order Open Day and N ight. Europea n Plan. Good Treatment and Sat isfaction Guaranteed . $3.60 Meal Tickets Reduced to $3.00 Best Dr ip Coffee. ... THE .. . :!larylatt~ i!lrstauraut S. SAMARA S BROS .. Pro ps. 102 E. BALTIMORE ST. P. CO NITS ANNAPOLIS, MD. Telephone 32-Y REGULAR DINNER 25 CENTS Neatly Furnished R ooms by Day, W eek or Month. ANNAPOLIS. MD. 168 MAIN ST. TELEPHON E 391-Y PHONE 36-M 67 WEST STREET RAYMOND L. MOSS Groceries, Provisions, Salt Meats, Canned Goods, Produce, Butter, Eggs, Etc . . .. AGENT FOR GOLD MEDAL FLOUR ANNAPOLIS MARYLAND Staple and Fancy Groceries. U\iain Street, ~nnapolis, U\id. BALTIMORE'S BEST STORE Cigars, Cigarettes and Tobacco. 107 PRINCE GEORGE ST .• THR.OUOH TO 106 DOCK STREET HOWARD AND LEXINGTON �ROGERS & COMPANY ... DAVIS ... DEALERS IN FINE CHINA. GLASSWARE AND KITCHEN FURNISHINGS ... 207 CHURCH STREET ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND THE Store for Athletic Goods Educate for The Thing You Are <ioing To 8e. GEO. ]. DAVIS If it is your plan to make busi ness your profession it is e; sential that you have a business training. Then your services are in demand at a goo d salary from the very beginning. Good opportunities are going 74 MARYLAND A VENUE train young men fast enough to meet the demand . Would you be Wj by every day becau se we cannot interested in one of these positions? You can prepare for one of them in a short time at a s mall cost at Jan. Feb. 28-St. John's 34. Catholic University 37. 29- Riggin acts as Major at breakfast formation. 30- "Long john" passes Math. ! ! ! ! ! 31 - "500" Club disbands. Cocoa Club organizes. !- Matthews mistaken for mail-carrier by lady friend. 2- "Cy" Haslup has punishment tours. 3- Third formal Hop. Rained. Students go broke on Cabs. 4- Preps. and Freshmen attend Navy Hop. 5- Sophs. hold G. 0. H. for their benefit. 6- Armstrong lectures on the unsettled state of spelling as shown by the junior's papers. 7- "T- -y Hop" finds sugar in his bed. 8 - Hop conducts still hunt for culprit. 9-0wen lectures on love in economics. I 0- St. John's 65. Mt. St. joseph I 0. Johnson, H. L. burns bushel of love letters. our school. This school has the endorse ment of the best busi ness men in Baltimore. Don"t hesitate. G et the facts about it at once. C atalog free on request. STRAYER'S BUSINESS COLLEGE Charles and Fayette Streets, 9th and F Streets, N . W ., You will do well in purchasing your Books and Stationery, Newspapers and Magazines, Tobacco, Cigars and Cigarettes, Athletic Goods, Eastman's Kodaks and Supplies : at 48 Maryland Avenue, Annapolis, Md. CHARLES G. FELDMEYER. Baltimore. Md . Washington, D . C. A. H. FETTING The Eichelberger Book Go. 308 N. Charles Street BALTIMORE, MD. - - M anufacturer of = ({1]rr~~~ u:~uu~rr ~!r~U~trll\lllU~ ]~~~ij!f~ All College Text Books used at St. John's, for sale by us. Louis A. Schenker National Coal Co. DEALER IN MINERS OF BOOTS AND SHOES Q;J REPAIRING NEATLY DONE Sewing a Specialty 213 N. Liberty St., Baltimore, Md. School Supplies of all kinds. M em orandum package sent to any GEORGES CREEK, BIG VEIN CUMBERLAND AND FAIRMONT COAL Miscellaneous and Text Books. Librarv Books, fraternity Commercial Building, Baltimore, Md. member through Secretary of the Chapter. the Special designs and estimates furnished on cla ss pin s . medals for athletic meets. etc. 1 BLADEN STREET ANNAPOLIS, MD. TEMPORARY LOCATION �C. H. HILDEBRANDT & SON THE STEWART e& STEEN Co. ESTABLISHED 1838 Old Violins, Keystone Mandolins and Guitars ~ Qiollrgr iEugraurrs au!l Jriutrrs f]J 321 NORTH HOWARD STREET c:.J\Ilakers of College and Class-Day Invitations, Stationery, Programs, BanBALTIMORE. MARYLAND quet Menus, Class Pins and Buttons, Medals for Field Day, Visiting Cards, Crests and Coats of Arms, Wedding and Reception Feb. 11-St. John's 20. Baltimore Medical College 46. attempts to run engine to Baltimore. 12 - Catlin and Broadrup go to church. 13-Fire escapes installed. Modern St. John's 14- Drake receives fourteen Valentines. 15- Moss gets up at 12:45 P . M. 16-Call for baseball men. "Long John" I 7- Pantry robbed . Fisher finds a clew. 18- St. John's 18. Georgetown 2 7. 19--Thirty-four on the sick-list. 2021 222324- Jack lets his class out ten minutes early ! ! ! ! St. John's 20. Pennsylvania Military College 24. F acuity attends chapel--all but "Eddie." Miller reported for not wearing his red socks. F ourth formal Hop. 25 --St. John's 29. Baltimore Medical College I 0. Invitations. Jlilf Jlilf "VELVET KIND" ICE CREAM Jlilf Jlilf PHILADELPHIA, PA. 1020 <:ARCH STREET, WHEN IN NEED OF GOOD THINGS TO EAT We ask you to give us a call and convince yourself that we have the goods. "Come" and you can see what you want, and we know you will want what you see. Everything in our store has a tendency to tempt one. FANCY CANN E D GOODS, POTTED MEATS AND FOWLS; CHEES E OF NUMEROUS KINDS. FANCY FRUITS AND NUTS OF ALL KINDS. NUT MEATS. NATIONAL BISCUIT COMPANY'S GOODS. HEINZ'S PICKLES AND CANN E D GOODS. GRAPE JUICE. GINGER ALE. JUST TRY BLUE ITS' LABEL JAMS- ALL KINDS. PRIDE STORE" ~~THE EDWARD JEWELL TELEPHONE 69-Y Jlilf Phone 5st 176 MAIN STREET THE ARUNDEL PRESS CHURCH CIRCLE AND SOUTH STREET ANNAPOLIS , MARYLAND (OPPOSITE COU RT HOUSE) Confectionery and Soda Water 69 MARYLAND AVENUE ANNAPOLIS, MD. HIGH GRADE JOB WORK EXCLUSIVELY PUBLISHERS OF ST. JOHN'S COLLEGIAN Telephone 568- M �) NEW. Fabrics for Spring in Suiting's, Trousering's, and Overcoating's are now- to be seen at our Store in all the latest Novelties from English , Scotch and American Manufacturers. We w-Jl make your Spring Overcoat or Suit in the best and sw-ellest style and of artistic elegance at a reasonable price. B. WEYFORTH & SONS. TAILORS 217-219 N. Paca Street. Baltimore. Qtnllrgr 1£ngraurr, Jrintrr anb _g,tatinnrt Feb. 26- Rat-Tat'l2 Boardelected. 27- Seniors get hair cut. H - - in Physics. 28--Preps imitate Seniors. 29- Rubber. Mar. 1- F acuity apologizes to Todd . 2- Cuban gives Twigg a shower bath. 3--lnter-class gym. meet. "Long John" is champion high kicker. 4--"Reddy" reports Roor officers for lights after "Taps". St. John's 4. Loyola I 3. 5--"Scuds" Wilson sleeps 18 hours. 6- Todd cusses out Fisher. 7- Hall fools Sophs. 8- F acuity soaks hazers. 9- Everybody attends "Moulin Rouge Girls". I 0--Marsh and Wilson attend chapel. I 1- Todd juggles tray and breaks dishes. Todd challenges Dorsey. NICHOLAS MANDRIS COMMENCEMENT INVITATIONS, DANCE INVITATIONS, AND PROGRAMS, MENUS, FRATERNITY INSERT AND STATIONERY, CLASS PINS, VISITING CARDS, WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS AND I NV IT A TIONS. SAMPLES CHEERFULLY SENT ON REQUEST WHEN IN NEED OF ilil((ll8 CIHIIE§TNUT §TRIEIE1I\ ... A Hair Cut and Shave ... 167 MAIN STREET VISIT Stationery and Fresh Fruits ~ IP IHI ll LA[) IE lJP IHI ll Ao BEN]. ]. STEVENS 82 MARYLAND A VENUE " Cleanliness and polite attention.. - Our Motto SOUVENIR POSTAL CARDS. CIGARS AND TOBACCO HAIR CUTTING AND MASSAGING A SPECIALTY \ _________________ �COLONIAL THEATRE HIGH CLASS VAUDEVILLE FACULTY and MOVING PICTURES POPULAR F. ,. . v PRICES FALKNER MA:"<AGER March 12 --Many "blows" struck for St. John's. 1 3- All Seniors go calling. 14- Guard duty begins. IS --Adams and Wilson, K. E . spend the evening shooting dart! from one end of Junior floor to the other, I 6 - Cold reception in Economics . Winslow wears sweater, two grey shirts, overcoat, etc., during class. 17-Y. M . I. man asks " Col." Fisher for "shore" leave. 18- Base-ball practice improving. Reserves line up against Varsity. 19- French fleet arrives. Firing of guns interrupts church formation 20- Band gives Moon-light Concert. 2 !- Magruder has his hair combed for the second time this month. 22- Nobody on sick list. Navy 4 . St. John's 3. 23 - Law class dismissed at 1.20 P . M . 24--Maryland day celebration. makes a "speech". Ask Fisher why. "Eddie" attends chapel. Fisher PRINTING of Maryland ... OF PHYSIC. SAMUEL C. CHEW, M.D., LL.D., Emeritus Professor of Medicine. R. DORSEY COALE, PH.D., Professor of Chemistry and Toxicology. RANDOLPH WINSLOW, A.M., M. D., LL. D., Professor of Surgery. L. E. NEALE , M. D., LL.D, Professor of Obstetrics. CHAS. W. MITCHELL, A.M., M.D., Professor of Medicine and Diseases of Children. THOS. A. ASHBY, M.D., Professor of Diseases of Women. J. HoLMES SMITH. M. D., Professor of Anatomy and Clinical Surgery. JoHN C. HEMMETER, M. D., PH.D., LL. D., Professor of Physiolog y and Clinical Medicine. ARTHUR M. SHIPLEY, M.D., Professor of Therapeutics and Surgical Pathology. Jos. L. HIRSH, B.A. , M.D., Professor of Pathology and Bacteriology and Visiti ng Pathologist to the University Hospital. HIRAM WOODS, A.M., M.D. , Professor of Eye and Ear Diseases. JOHNS. FULTON, A. 8 ., M.D ., Professor of State Medicine. DANIEL BASE, PH.D., Professor of Analytical Chemistry. EUGENE F. CORDELL, A.M., M.D., Professor of the History of Medicine and Librarian. J. MASON HUNDLEY, M.D., Clinical Professor of Diseases of Women. THOMAS C. GILCHRIST, M.R.C.S., M.D. , Clinical Professor of Dermatology. JOSEPH T . SMITH, M.D., Associate Professor of Medical Jurisprudence and Hygiene. FRANK MARTIN, B. S., M.D., Clinical Professor of Surgery. ST. CLAIR SPRUILL, M.D .. Clinical Professor of Surgery. R. TUNSTALL TAYLOR, M.D., Clinical Professor of Orthopedic Surgery. JOHN R. WINSLOW, B.A., M.D., Glinical Professor of Diseases of the Throat and Nose. J . M. CRAIGHILL, M.D., Clinical Professor of Medicine. J os. E.· GICHNER, M.D. , Clinical Professor of Medicine and Associate Professor of Materia Medica. CHARLES W. Mc ELFRESH, M.D., Clinical Professor of Medicine. IRVING J. SPEAR, M.D. , Clinical Professor of Neurology and Psychiatry. HARRY ADLER, B.A., M. D., Clinical Professor of Medicine and Director of the Clinical Laboratory. JOHN G. JAY. M. D., Associate Professor of Clinical Surgery. GORDON WILSON, M.D., Associate Professor of Practice of Medicine. F. M. CHISOLM, M.D., Associate Professor of Ophthalmology. J. W. HoLLAND, M.D., Associate Professor and Demonstrator of Anatomy and Lecturer on Clinical Surgery. GIDEON TIMBERLAK E, M.D., Associate Professor of Genito-Urinary Diseases. COMBINED COURSE IN ARTS AND MEDICINE FROM THE CHEAPEST THAT IS GOOD TO THE BEST Tt-IAT MONEY CAN BUY A ... University Small, neat Printing. Two or Three Color Attractive Work or Large Display Posters. Advertiser-Republican Job Oftice CATALOGS-- - - -LARGE EDITION PRINTERS- - - - -BOOKS NEW QUARTERS- OPPOSITE POSTOFFICE St. John ' s College, Annapoli s. Md .. fo und ed in 1696. is by contract of affiliation styled and recogn ized as the Department of Arts and Sciences of the Uni ve rsity of Maryland. Students w ho have completed the Junior Year in St. John 's College and who have mad e an approved choice of e lectives, may, if they desire it , do the en tire work of the Senior Year in t h e Medical School of the Uni versity. If they s uccessfu ll y complete the work of the first medical year they are g raduated w ith t heir class with the degree of A B. from St.John" s College. By takin g advantage of th is privilege a man may comple te t he Unde rgraduate and Med ical courses in seven years. Durin g three of these years, or until he has complet ed t h e work of th e Junior Class, he is a r esid e nt s tuden t in St. J ohn 'sCollege,and fo r four year s he is a res ident in t he Medical School in Baltimore. At the e nd of th e fourth year he r eceives the A. B. d egree. and at the e nd of the seven year s th e M. D. degree. bu t credit in t he Med ical S chool cannot be accepted in s ubjects for which credit has ah eady been g iven in the college of Li bera l Arts. The One Hundredth and Fifth Annual Session will begin upon October 1, 1911 For Catalogue and information address R. DORESY COALE, Dean, UniYersity of Maryland, Baltimore. �JONES & FRANKLIN ~ew ~agnet . flheatre MAIN STR.EET GENERAL MERCHANDISE POLITE VAUDEVILLE MOVING PICTURES BOWLING PARLOR MAIN STREET, ANNAPOLIS, MD. L. LABOR.WITS, Lessee and Manager Mar. 25- Battalion takes a "hike''. 26- "Bum" supper. Dorsey explains why m a very elaborate address. 27- St. John's 5. Swarthmore 0. 28- Horse chases "Co. B" while on the "hike". 29- Giadden takes boarders. 30- Jacobs takes a bath. 31 - FISHER SKIPS JUNIOR TACTICS. April 1- ls U. of M. April fooled? 2- - Ziegler enters Eastport Society. 3- Mullikin goes to Physics. 4- Water battle on senior floor. Results: Ten demerits each. $3 damage fee and three cut heads. 5- Miller bums a smoke from a prep and then reports him for smoking. 6--Turkey buzzard for dinner. 7- Nothin' stirin' but the breeze. 8- Everybody gone home for Easter Vacation. R. G. CHANEY GEORGE W. JONES ANNAPOLIS Hiring, Sale, Livery BOOKS. STATIONERY and Automobile Stahle AND NEWSPAPERS .. FURNITURE Jib PACKED, MOVED AND STORAGE 194 Main St., Annapolis, Md. Tf;e Eleclric Ctty Engraving Ce. Btgjale, N.Y. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Yearbooks Description An account of the resource This collection contains yearbooks from St. John's College in Annapolis, MD. Yearbooks are sometimes referred to as the "Rat Tat", "Cicerone", or "Canvas". This collection includes all published yearbooks since 1896.  Please note that yearbooks were not published every year.<br /><br />Holdings: <br />1896 v. 1<br />1898 v. 2 - 1899 v. 3<br />1901 v. 4 – 1912 v. 15<br />1914 v. 17 – 1918 v. 21<br />1920 v. 22 – 1945/1946<br />1947 – 1951/1953<br />1957<br />1982<br />1986 – 1990/1991<br />1992 – 2001/2002<br />2015/2016 – 2017/2018<br />2021/2022 - 2024/2025<br /><br />Click on <strong><a title="Yearbooks" href="http://digitalarchives.sjc.edu/items/browse?collection=21">Items in the Yearbooks Collection</a></strong> to view and sort all items in the collection. Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Annapolis, MD Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource St. John's College Greenfield Library Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context yearbooks Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data paper (bound book) Page numeration Number of pages in the original item. 193, 26 pages Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Rat-Tat 1911 Description An account of the resource Rat-Tat 1911. Published annually by the Junior Class of St. John's College. Volume XIV. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Broadrup, Ralph D. (Editor-in-Chief) Lentz, Wilhelm (Asst. Editor-in-Chief) Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available The Horn-Shafer Press Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Baltimore, MD Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1911 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource St. John's College owns the rights to this publication. Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource pdf Language A language of the resource English Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 1911